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murdockparker · 2 years

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Good Vibrations

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie never backs down from a dare, even if he had to drive out to the middle-of-fucking-nowhere to a sex shop to prove it.

Word Count: 3k

Rating: 18+ for mature themes (no actual smut)

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, adult themes, reader works at a sex shop, Eddie and reader are over 18

A/N: first time writing for Eddie! well, first time posting what I’ve written for Eddie... may or may not have more in my drafts lol (also bad title but fucking sue me okay)

This was stupid.

The entire notion of this dare was completely and utterly stupid.

But, a dare was a dare and Eddie Munson wasn’t one to chicken out—not when he drove his sorry-ass thirty minutes out of his way to a building sat in the seemingly middle of nowhere. But, to the building’s credit, Hawkins itself was in the middle of nowhere to begin with—the point? Moot.

Why was this even the dare that Gareth came up with anyway? He could’ve had Eddie run a hundred laps at the school field, lick the bottom of his own sneakers—the thought alone was nauseating—hell, Eddie would’ve taken spending an entire Saturday at the library… studying. This? This was embarrassing.

After finishing the blunt he had stashed away in his glove compartment, Eddie finally found enough nerve to pull his ass out of his truck and move to the building next to the small lot he parked in. The neon sign hanging in the front door flickered and nearly fizzled—it had to be as old as the building it hung in—it wasn’t looking like a great sign for him to continue on, but, like a soldier going into battle, he ventured on and into the store. His first impression? It was… clean. Surprisingly so, hell, even the air smelled fresher than the outdoors he just came in from. He guessed his preconceived notions about an establishment such as this one was just—

“Hello?”

Eddie couldn’t have turned his head faster.

“Oh good, you can hear me,” the girl at the register laughed lightly, “thought you were ignoring my very kind greeting.”

“I—uh—guess I was,” Eddie replied sheepishly, his hand finding a home at the back of his neck, “sorry.”

“I was trying to ask you,” she smirked, shifting her weight from one elbow over to the other, “that I needed to see some ID.”

“ID?”

“I’m afraid this shop isn’t exactly a watering hole for children and tweens—I’m sure you already knew that, though.”

“W-what?”

She blinked once. Twice. “Y’know, because…?” With that, she ended her thought with a—rather ostentatious—gesture to the sales floor in front of them, products lit up and blinking like a Christmas tree.

Eddie’s face grew warm. “Uh, yeah, right,” he fumbled up to the counter, fishing into his back pocket for his wallet, “here you go.”

The girl took his ID and scanned over it quickly—it was obvious that she had done that quite a few times—before handing it back to Eddie. “Not that I thought that you were in middle school or anything, but, y’know, store policy and all that.”

“Really? Damn, here I thought I could’ve weaseled my way into the Snow Ball this year and wreak some havoc.”

“You want to go to a middle school dance?”

“Well, no, obviously not,” he laughed shakily, “I was… sorry, it was a joke.”

“I know,” she hummed, “well, it was an attempt at a joke—didn’t really land though.”

“Ouch,” Eddie grabbed his chest dramatically, “that cut me deep.”

“If a stranger working at a sex shop cut you deep with an insult, I’d hate to know what happens when a friend does the same thing.”

“My friends are respectable people,” he stood a bit straighter, pulling on his leather jacket, “they would never defile my honor like that.”

“Uh huh,” she clicked, “sure.”

Eddie blinked. “You don’t believe me?”

“Tell me, Edward—”

“How’d you—”

“Your license,” she shrugged as if it were such a simple explanation, “though I can’t say I pegged you for an Edward, seems a bit too… basic for someone like you.”

“I go by Eddie,” he clarified.

“Eddie,” she repeated. He couldn’t say he hated how it sounded coming from her—beautiful and pink—lips. “Okay Eddie, as I was saying, those friends of yours whom you claim would never defile your honor—”

“They would not,” he nodded.

“They wouldn’t happen to be the whole reason you’re here, right?”

Eddie was at a loss for words. Was it really that obvious? Did he look truly that out of place? “You don’t think that I came here on my own volition? By my own choice?”

“Nope,” she shook her head, “I reckon you probably buy your rubbers and nudie magazines from some corner store in town, so why would you bother coming out all this way unless it were for… I don’t know, a dare of some kind?”

“Maybe the nudie mags that are offered near me weren’t my speed,” he shrugged, trying to play it off, “or I already burned through the corner store’s stock of rubbers?”

“Oh I’m sure that’s it.”

“Y’know, being sarcastic with your customers isn’t exactly a great business model.”

“Don’t really have to worry about scaring off someone who wasn’t planning on buying anything anyway.”

“I’ll have you know I was planning on buying something,” he corrected, “but your attitude is just entirely off-putting. Maybe I should take my business elsewhere?”

“Okay.”

She turned her attention back to the—completely safe for young eyes—magazine that had sat on the register beside her, effectively ignoring Eddie. He stood silent, nearly shocked at absolute gall of the beautiful stranger. “Aren’t you supposed to fight for my business?”

“Aren’t you supposed to not lie to people?” she asked, not looking up from her magazine. “Isn’t that, like, the first rule of kindergarten or something?”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“…right, and I’m the Queen of England.”

“Oh, Your Majesty,” he bowed deeply, “my sincerest of apologies.”

Her gaze flicked up for just a moment, laughter bubbling in her chest at the sight of Eddie bowing so elegantly before her. She’ll bite. “Alright, you’ve made your point,” the laugh she tried holding back escaped her, “do you need help finding anything in here?”

“Actually,” he rose his head, still bowing, “yes, I would appreciate some assistance in finding what I seek from your humble establishment, Your Majesty.”

“Humble establishment,” she mumbled, pulling herself away from the desk, “so, what’re you looking for?”

Her arms were at her hips, giving Eddie full view of the outfit she was wearing—it was relatively normal—he was expecting something more… out there. “That’s an excellent question, use it often?”

“Yeah that’s, like, my job?”

“Just tryin’ to make small talk, sweetheart,” he held his hands up in admission, “but, uh, I guess I’m not really sure exactly what I’m looking for.”

“You drove yourself out to a sex shop without knowing what you’re looking for?”

“I think I said ‘exactly’,” he narrowed his eyes, “obviously I know what I’m looking for.”

“And that would be…?”

“A… vibrator,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling very shy.

“I’m sorry, I’m gonna need you to speak up?”

“I’m looking for a vibrator,” he repeated, speaking more clearly, “you know? Something that vibrates or whatever.”

“Well that I can help you find, easy,” she smirked, waving him to follow her. She continued to walk across the small store, was hardly bigger than a classroom, a classroom filled to the brim with all sorts of fun looking things, things he didn’t know existed until that moment. “What kind of vibrator are you in the market for? You’ve got a few options.”

“Ah, I don’t think that it has to be anything fancy—”

“I’m sure your girlfriend would beg to differ,” she laughed airily, thumbing through a few options hanging on the wall.

“S’not for my girlfriend,” he rocked on his feet, heel to toe.

“Oh, in that case, you may want to get one with a flared bottom just so it doesn’t get lost up your—”

“No!” Eddie didn’t mean to shout, but the sound carried a bit farther than he expected it to. “It’s not for me either, no ma’am. I’m very comfortable in my tried and true methods, thank you very much.”

“Never hurts to try something new,” she said, gently putting back a package that she had pulled from the wall, “so if it’s not for your girlfriend and it’s not for you…?”

“Well, considering I don’t have a girlfriend—”

“No?”

“What? Are you shocked?” He felt his chest swell the tiniest bit, she seemed relieved.

“Honestly? A little bit,” she agreed, “you’ve got that whole rock-n-roll vibe and everything. Most girls are into that nowadays.”

“Is that something you’re into, sweetheart?”

“I could be persuaded, sure.”

“That’s not a no.”

“I guess it’s not,” she smiled lightly, turning her attention back to the wall of colorful machinery. She looked as if she was contemplating the options, mulling over a fine wine or critiquing a piece of art, before pulling a package from the wall. It was a small thing, hot pink and—if Eddie had to guess—was bullet shaped. “Is this something that will fit your very cryptic needs?”

“No fucking way that thing is a vibrator,” he scoffed, pulling the package from her hands, “it’s tiny.”

“Size doesn’t matter,” she laughed, “from what I’ve heard this model packs quite the punch.”

“What? Do you not fancy one of these for yourself?” It was a bold question, Eddie knew that much, but the blunt from earlier was finally kicking in—the adrenaline from entering the store probably outweighed the effects earlier—so anything was seemingly fair game. “Or,” he pulled a rather large, more phallic shaped thing from the wall, “is this more your speed?”

“I can’t say I test all the merchandise,” she nearly yawned, “but if you really want to know what I like…”

He held his breath.

“You better be taking me out first,” she winked, turning her back to the now furiously blushing metalhead. “Seriously though, if you’re not gonna share any sort of information of what you’re wanting with me I’m just going to rip down the entire wall into your arms.”

“I’d like to see you try that.”

“Don’t test me, Zeppelin.”

Eddie smiled at the nickname, his attention flicking back to the colorful wall beside them. Led Zeppelin wasn’t at the top of his favorite bands, but for some reason he had the strange urge to go and listen to any tape or record he or Uncle Wayne had of theirs—for research purposes, obviously. He reached out to pull another box off the wall, the weight surprising him. “Do people actually buy these? I mean, really?”

“Some people prefer the realistic look,” she said simply, “the realistic feel.”

“Oh,” he put the package back, “sure, yeah that… checks out.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Do I look surprised?”

“You do.”

Eddie stood silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Fine, maybe I’m a little surprised. I guess I never imagined that when people came to buy… these, that they’d really be going for a realistic thing, you know?”

“Oh yeah,” she nodded, “there’s something for everyone these days.”

“But, I mean,” he pressed his finger to the plastic, “this is like… scary real looking.”

“Some people just really miss their partners I guess, wanting a similar feel, if I had to take a wild guess,” she laughed, “but I try not to judge people’s interests, not too critically anyway.”

“Ah.”

He tapped his fingers a few times against the packaging, his rings not offering much of a different sound on the surface. The girl nearly sashayed back up to the register whilst he was momentarily lost in thought, only turning her attention back to Eddie when she returned.

“Well?”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you gonna buy it?”

“Oh,” he raised the package closer to his chest, reading the text on the plastic diligently, “yeah, I think this will be fine.”

“I think your buddies are gonna love that one,” the tap of her fingers against the glass of the counter rang throughout the room, “it’s terribly realistic.”

“Yeah I think they’ll be alright with—”

He stopped dead in his tracks.

Shit.

“Uh huh,” she clicked, a small smile creeping onto her lips, “I knew it.”

“Fuck,” he ran his free hand through his hair, “was it really that obvious?”

“I work at a sex shop in the middle of the fucking woods, the only people who come out here are perverts, curious ladies looking to change up their solo time or some freshly-eighteen boys on a bet or dare. It’s not hard to catch onto a pattern.”

“How often does that happen?”

“Eh, twice a week?”

“Shit, really?”

“Lots of people lose bets, apparently,” she helplessly shrugged, “either way, it’s good for business and my parents can keep the lights on this shack a bit longer.”

“I’m sorry, parents? Like, your mom and pop own this kind of shop?”

“Yeah, not exactly a quaint little downtown boutique, but it’s got charm and the cash flow is insane. Who knew perverts would blow a couple of Benjamins on this shit?”

“I—yeah, that’s actually pretty impressive,” Eddie agreed, fishing into his back pocket again for his wallet, “so… what’s the damage?”

“Ten bucks,” she said, putting the purchase into a hot pink plastic bag—thankfully with no store branding on it to Eddie’s relief.

He pointed to the back wall, “but the sign over there said—”

“Consider it a new customer discount,” she said nonchalantly, pushing the bag across the glass countertop. He hadn’t noticed it before, but the glass case she stood behind was full of higher-end, colorful, glass blown products. They weren’t all toys, he realized, he might’ve spotted a few pipes if he looked hard enough.

“Aw, a discount for little ol’ me?” Eddie handed the girl a crumpled bill.

“What can I say? I’m feeling generous.”

“You sure it’s not a handsome guy discount?”

Another bold statement from Eddie this evening, it seemed. It was worth a shot, anyway, right?

“A discount is a discount,” the girl smirked as she loaded the money into the register beside her, “could be the senior citizen discount and you’d be none the wiser.”

“Okay, that’s a little gross to think about—”

“Old people can have sex—”

“You think I’m a senior citizen?”

“Of course not,” she laughed, “you’re not much older than I am.”

“Yeah?”

“You seem to forget I read your license earlier?”

“Oh. Right,” he deflated a little bit, “is it by a lot…or…?”

“Well, I sure as hell am not a minor, if that’s what you’re asking,” she laughed again. God, he loved that laugh. “Couldn’t be working here if I was.”

“That’s good, wouldn’t want to catch a case for thinking the store clerk is cute,” Eddie smiled, leaning against the glass counter.

“Do you normally think minors are cute…?”

Eddie stumbled. “Jesus, no! Of course not! I was—it was a bad joke—”

“You seem to have a lot of those.”

“Well, pretty girls make me nervous,” he tried to play it off.

“Huh,” she clicked, clearly fighting back a grin, “alright, well, I hope your buddies get a kick outta their prize.” She pointed to the bag that now firmly sat in Eddie’s grasp.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’m sure they will.”

“Can I ask?”

“Ask?” He turned his head.

“Why did your friends make you come out here to buy a vibrator?” she quirked her brow. “Aren’t they sitting in your car or something and just dare you to spend like, fifteen minutes or whatever in the store?”

“That—well, funny you mention that,” Eddie nervously chuckled, “that was the original plan, but they had something come up tonight so… they insisted I buy evidence that I came in here.”

“They insisted you buy something you have no use for?”

“I’m sure I could find some use for it,” he grinned, “or maybe find someone to use it with.” He couldn’t really tell, but he could’ve sworn he saw the tips of her ears darken—her cheeks following in a similar fashion.

“I threw our business card in the bag. Y’know, just incase your buddies don’t believe you—”

“I’m sure the realistic sculpted dick vibrator is enough for them,” Eddie winked, pressing his hand up against the door to handle, “but I appreciate the excellent customer service, sweetheart.”

Without even a goodbye, Eddie practically ran out of the store and back to his van. Why did he do that? He could’ve at least asked her out—she was clearly interested in what he had to offer. He never even got her name.

“Fuck!” Eddie hit his head against the steering wheel, fists resting on both sides of his face. “You’re an idiot, Munson. Obviously can’t go back in there now, she’d think I’m a crazy pervert or something,” he hit his head again, “stupid, stupid, stupid…” It only took him exactly seven minutes to finish with his pity party he threw for himself before he dared to look in the hot pink bag in the seat next to him.

The business card.

It had to have had the shop’s phone number on it, right? He could speed home and try giving it a ring before they closed for the night. Maybe she’d answer? Laugh with him about how stupid he was—or maybe just laugh in his face at his mistake. Either way, he had to give it a shot. Eddie reached into the bag for the card, his shoulders slumping immediately when there was no phone number listed on the face of the card, just the name of the shop and the address. “What kind of store doesn’t have a fucking phone number?”

It was only when he flipped the card over he saw it.

There, on the pristine white of the backside of the card was something written in pink ink—a bit smudged—it was obviously written in a hurry. It was a phone number, a personal home phone number if Eddie had to take a wild guess.

You better call me, Zeppelin

~ (Y/N)

He pursed his lips, his face contorting into probably his biggest grin of the night. She gave him her number. “(Y/N), huh?” Eddie laughed to himself, re-reading the card as if the ink would fade away. He’d be an idiot not to call her—to ignore such a pretty face.

Maybe he’d get use out of his recent purchase after all.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson x you #fanfic #fluff #eddie isn't as big of a player as y'all make him out to be!!!#proof read but if you see errors no you dont

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