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#esp to spend the whole weekend with them
thislovecamebacktome · 11 months
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mishkakagehishka · 1 year
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I should really get my hair cut but i don't feel like going thru the ordeal of finding a hairdresser + i only trust the hairdresser i've been going to since i was like 8 so now i'm just thinking whether i can survive until mid-June or just . Spend a weekend at home.
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live-laugh-lenney · 2 months
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hello !! this is a little late (dw abt it) but i can't shake the thought out of my head abt arthur birthday ,,,, spoiling him bcs he's an old man now and he deserves it! i feel like he'd like the attention and pampering esp coming from a huge family it would be nice for an entire day just for him aka arthurtv birthday blurb where (i wrote arthurtv birthday smut but ,,, that will stay in the drafts)
-🍓
yn makes the whole day about him.
she decorates his living room with numbered balloons and 'birthday boy' and 'happy birthday' banners that she hid in george's flat the day before and she hangs streamers from his ceiling and, sure, she may have gone a tad overboard on decorating his flat for the day but the look on his face when he saw the effort she put in was something she wished she pictured.
she piles up her presents for him on the kitchen table alongside a huge buffet breakfast that she surprises him with - eggs in all forms because she couldn't decide the best one, lots of toast, sausages and plenty of bacon steaming on a plate, smashed avocado in a bowl with all of his salt and pepper and different seasonings and sauces next to it, with bowls of cubed fruit and a plate piled high with thick and fluffy pancakes sitting with a candle in the middle.
she books them and their closest friends into a fancy restaurant with bottomless drinks and delicious foods, letting him have his moment with his friends as they celebrate him spending another year around the sun. and he's so thankful and surprised to have a girlfriend who organises something so loving and incredible for him.
she organises a facetime call with his family and surprises him, on call with them, that she's brought him tickets to fly home and see them for a couple of weeks and that she's been in cahoots with his family whole time so that they knew of her plans and were able to help her out... having taken care of his youtube and work schedule and letting chris and those he films with that he would be absent for two weeks so he could have some personal time off.
they end the night in his flat, inviting george and arthur and chris over for a few drinks and takeaway because he felt so exhausted and just wanted a chilled out night with those he loved and felt closest to. the boys bringing him a cake and they sing 'happy birthday' to him as he blows out the candles.
"did you have a good day?"
he nods and brings her closer to his side, her cheek flush upon his naked chest and her palm flat upon his stomach, exhaling a slow and deep breath from deep within.
"the best day," he says softly and she looks up at him, "thank you for organising everything."
"i figured that the boys will take you out this weekend for a heavy one before you go off to jersey for two weeks so i thought that we could celebrate slowly today," she admits and presses a kiss to his cheek, "i'm glad you enjoyed it though."
"you did good," he claims and looks at her with darkened eyes, "but you know what would make it even better?"
"one step ahead of you," she grins widely and she hooks a leg over his waist and straddles his hips, hands on his shoulders as she braces her weight upon him and she can see the blush on his cheeks begin to form, "just sit back, let me do all the work tonight." xx
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inchidentally · 5 months
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I'm going to be bundling my other tricky asks as always in one post under a cut but this one as actually a learning curve for me as someone who doesn't really follow Max stuff.
I genuinely hadn't realized just how much time Lando had spent with Max privately and non-F1 weekend related. I'm not esp a Max fan which would explain me missing a lot but I did know they had a pretty solid friendship that dated more closely to his friendship with George and Alex - but damn that's way more time spent with Max than any other driver this season!
what's funny too is that Max is actually super happy to be physically affectionate in a flirty way with other guys similar to how Lando is. Carlos is only like that with certain guys, namely Charles and guys his own age that he deems as "pretty". but as someone who pulled shippy shit from any car|ando interaction I can honestly say that the "ooh they touched in a sexy way!" stuff was just how Lando is with guys. Carlos firmly has Lando in the little brother/friend space and literally says he thinks Lando is "cute" and that it's weird when people ask them to kiss. and yes, they have dinner sometimes and travel on the same plane sometimes to the next race - but just this season Lando did that with Daniel and Oscar and Max as well.
so surely Max including Lando in all this personal life stuff and spending time together online and in Monaco during the winter break is a HUGE threat to car|ando? I genuinely can't and don't want to try and understand the larry mentality of RPF but if I had to guess then it's something as wild as them considering Max as already part of a major RPF ship (|estappen or maxtie|) that's supposedly ALSO taking place under cover of all these "fake" girlfriends? man I wish I could remove the terms "beard" and "escort" from these people's vocabulary.
I've also got an ask that apparently charlos causes rage for both |estappen and car|ando bc they have an agenda that Charles and Carlos hate each other but then keep getting infuriated when Charles mounts Carlos or Carlos won't stop touching Charles' thighs or they try to kiss for the millionth time. akgfsakfgaf how exhausting must it be keeping these theories going I caaaan't
but returning to your ask yea fact is that Lando is way closer and more of a friend outside F1 with Max than Carlos. they meet up probably the same amount during the drivers parades as car|ando and sometimes even get handsy. but I guess somehow that's different ?? even when Lando has teased that RB would be his only temptation away from McLaren and Christian Horner wants to en plein air fuck Lando ???
from what I can tell, Daniel was never considered a threat to car|ando which continues to be bizarre bc purely objectively again, I would say he's more of a friend outside F1 to Lando than Carlos. not by a whole lot but Daniel and Lando share road trips and private flights and Lando fits into Daniel's friend group really well. I guess maybe since Daniel's just widely loved in fandom in general there was less motive to try and tear down his relationship with Lando?
that's true, I also seem to recall starting to see this anti-landoscar BS starting around Japan/Oscar's contract extension. I suppose if I were trying to look at it through their angle then the Japan and Qatar double McLaren podiums coming right after Singapore - including Oscar's extension - would be seen as some kind of "insult" ? I guess Oscar went from being cute and non-threatening to suddenly cockblocking the Carlos back to McLaren pipe dream (that Carlos would literally only do as a fifth or sixth option and only if Ferrari gave him the boot lol). especially since Lando insisted on being crazy happy about the double podiums instead of I guess wistfully thinking of how much he wishes he could play second fiddle to Carlos getting the only non-RB win of the season instead of trying to idk help his team and himself in the standings.
then there was the crazy mood swing when Lando and Carlos went to dinner after Mexico and flew to Brazil together (with Rebecca) - to the rage when it turned out that Lando hanging out in Brazil for a day or two after the race wasn't car|ando bc Lando went to Cali almost immediately for sponsors meetings while Carlos and Rebecca both posted pics and video of their private holiday together that went right up until the day before the Vegas race. I definitely saw the uptick in car|ando agit prop after that whole shebang bc then Carlos wanted Rebecca at the "car|ando cup" and kept checking in on her. the hatred towards her truly took on a whole ugly and dark turn after that.
it is still so damn weird that Oscar/landoscar is the target that it is for them though. I have another ask where in some F1 group Christmas art the artist depicts Lando interacting with Carlos and not Oscar and ??? it's a drawing??? and I'm assuming they don't rate Lily's existence as security for car|ando since apparently any woman can be conveniently written off as a fake gf. but Oscar doesn't play gay with Lando and he didn't push for a bromance and generally keeps himself to himself unless Lando wants him around! he's a Lando fanboy but he's not even hardcore pushing content of him and Lando on his sm! the poor guy is literally just standing there catching strays bc of a mainstream bromance that has nothing to do with him
I'm sorry anon this went so wide of what you were saying but genuinely I used to spend so much of my time on car|ando accounts and it's slowly turning into a larry "they are looking to each other" edit type fandom ;__;
but fr why does Oscar get put in the "we hate the real life girlfriends" category ?????? I genuinely laugh bc it's so insane why isn't he like Max or Daniel why is he That Fake Bitch Standing In Our Ship's Way and they aren't is it bc he's prettier and serves natural cunt afglajfgalgfslafg
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minervadashwood · 9 months
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Daryl Dixon x NB!Reader (afab, plus-size) 🏹 Daryl x Reader x Rick 🛡️
The Cop and the Criminal - Chapter 25
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Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Taglist
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Summary: Zombie apocalypse? In my romantic story? It may be sooner than you think. This chapter contains: mentions of alcohol, the use of firearms, and canon-typical violence. Note: This story takes place around 2010, at a time when cell phone videos were pretty shitty. Word count: 2.5K
==
“This shit don’t make no sense,” Merle mumbled, tying his boots.
Jesus squatted in front of him, eye level. “It may not make any sense to you , but that doesn’t make it any less real for them.”
Merle furiously tied his laces. “What you wan’ from me? Just kowtow to Officer Friendly and let ‘im embarrass my brother?”
Jesus sighed, tired of having this conversation. However, Merle was not nearly as argumentative today as he had been when Daryl first told him.
Jesus placed his hands on Merle’s knees. “I don’t have a problem with you sleeping around. Same goes for you when it comes to me. How is this any different?”
Merle leaned back and sighed. “‘Cause it is. Daryl don’t deserve to share Peanut with nobody.”
Jesus stood up, hiding his smile. As rough and angry as Merle might be, the man cared about his brother. Almost to a fault.
“I think that’s for Daryl to decide,” Jesus replied, helping Merle to his feet.
*
Carl begged to push the button for your doorbell, so Rick let him.  A minute later, Daryl swung open the door, his hair disheveled and only one sock on his feet.
“Hey…uh…come on in. Y/N’s uh…they’re uh--”
Rick smirked at his friend, needing no further hints to guess what you’d been up to. Daryl was awash in your scent, half-dressed, and blushing.
“Daryl!” Carl exclaimed. “Do you want to see my checker set? It’s brand new!”
“I-uh…”
Rick ruffled Carl’s hair. “Let’s get upstairs first.”
The three of them were in the living room, Daryl now with both socks on, when you came down the hallway.
Carl had thoroughly trapped Daryl into a demonstration of each dinosaur-emblazoned checker, so Rick turned his attention to you.
“Hi,” you said, smiling.
Rick swept you up in a tight hug, first kissing your cheek and then holding you against his chest. “Up to no good, Omega?” he whispered. “Was it Daryl’s idea or yours?”
“Mine,” you grinned, a teasing glint in your eyes. “Open invitation for you to join us anytime.”
“Soon,” he said, lowering his voice. “Very soon, my eager Bunny.”
“Promise?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“I want a hug, too!” Carl announced, and suddenly he was futilely trying to pull Rick off you.
However, you let go and squat down, ignoring Rick, and giving Carl a gentle hug.  
“Got a big day planned for us?” you asked the little boy.
“Yes, checkers! Will you teach me to play? And at two DinoTown comes on, and will you make me PB&J but without the J?”
You rose up, and Rick put his arm around the small of your back. He gestured to the bag he’d brought up. “Lunch is already made. Snacks, too. Are you sure you’re okay with this? Maybe we can reschedule for next weekend when Lori has him.”
“Rick,” you said, putting a hand on his chest. “This is fine. You two will be a phone call away. Besides, everyone needs this. I need to spend time with Carl, you need to spend time with Ro and Merle. It’s the next step, isn’t it?  For us?”
“Yeah, but I hate leaving you alone.”
“Well, I’m not going to the shooting range unless you want a basket-case on your hands, and Carl is way too young.”
Daryl slid up next to you and kissed your cheek. “Bubbie’ll be alright, Rick. Checked the weather and no storms headed this way. Lots of food, DVDs. Besides, ain’t it cute? Thinking of ‘em with yer pup? At home waitin’ for us?”
You turned your head into Daryl’s chest.  “Come home safe, and not too drunk, please.”
“Promise,” Daryl said. He hugged you, then so did Rick, and they both left the house. Neither one voiced how much they wanted to stay, though they felt it keenly.  But today was for the pack as a whole, and Rick especially was determined to make all of this work.
*
At the shooting range, Rick paid the admission fee for all of them, using his membership discount. Daryl, Merle, and “Jesus” had to read and sign legal disclaimers, and Rick took the opportunity to study each of them.
Jesus--or Ro, depending on who you asked--was a young sharp-eyed man clad in a trench coat and not carrying any guns of his own. Merle, now a few years older than his mugshot, with even less hair and a patchy, white winter beard growing in, stood next to Daryl, who was grumbling at his brother.
“Ya ain’t had a drink yet? It says here ya can’t be under the influence.”
Jesus looked up at the brothers. “He’s good. Promise.”
A moment passed and Daryl spoke up again. “None of that crazy shit today. Ya point yer gun at anything but the target an’ you’ll be sorry.”
Merle scoffed. “I ain’t shot nobody yet. Don’t get yer panties in a twist.”
Daryl glared at his brother.
Merle shrugged. “‘M doin’ this fer Peanut, an’ I guess they’re too fond of all y’all fer me to get up to much anyway.”
Rick hid his smile by pretending to scratch his nose. He was more worried about Merle than anything, but if the guy already had a soft spot for you, then maybe that worry was misplaced.
*
Hours later, with multiple rounds of spent ammunition and competitive boasting later, one thing was clear: Jesus had the steadiest hand in all of Georgia.
“Kid knows how to handle big guns,” Merle announced, putting his arm around Jesus’s shoulders, drawing the younger man close to him.
Daryl looked on, and Rick noticed the slightest softening of his friend’s features, the changes revealing that Daryl was happy for Merle. And that made Rick happy, too. 
Next, they drove to a nearby bar and grill, where everyone but Daryl had a few beers, and they all shared multiple courses of appetizers. 
The late afternoon spilled into the evening, and Rick began to feel that tangible connection to his new pack. The inherent balance among them: two betas, one blustery, the other calm. It was no wonder Merle and Jesus had fallen in together. Then there was Daryl and Rick himself. The introverted, anxious alpha contrasted with Rick’s extroverted confidence.
Finally, you, tying them together. 
Sitting at the table with the others, Rick’s patience began to wear thin. It’d been too long since he and Daryl had said goodbye earlier today. What’s more, Rick was tired of waiting, tired of forcing himself to be patient. You were his mate , and it was clear to him now that his caution had become an unnecessary impediment.
Across the table, Jesus was leaning tipsily on Merle’s shoulder, halfheartedly eating the last of the cheddar fries. However, beside Rick was Daryl, knee bouncing and eyes glancing around the room. 
Perhaps he was as eager to leave as Rick was.
“Ready to get home to our omega?” Rick asked.
“Mmm,” Daryl grunted, reaching for his wallet and pulling out the cash to pay the bill.  “Le’s go.”
*
After Daryl had dropped Jesus and Merle off in the city, he got back on the highway and headed home.
Rick was sober enough to drive, but Daryl was the official DD for the evening, so Rick didn’t protest.
About halfway home, though, they came to a roadblock that was just now getting set up, giving Rick a clear view of a two-vehicle accident that took up both lanes. Floodlights and headlights shone on the scene in the winter darkness.
“Fuck,” Daryl mumbled, putting the truck into park. “How long’s this gonna take?”
“I’ll find out,” Rick replied, getting out and taking out his badge.  As he got closer to the scene, he quickly realized the victims were dead. A woman’s head was halfway through her windshield in one car, while in the other car, a man slumped in the driver’s seat, his white skin gray and pale, his open eyes lifeless.
It looked like the man slammed into the woman’s car, killing them both with the impact. 
“Hey fellas,” he said to the officers on the scene. “Need any help?”
The person in charge, a square and bulky woman with blond hair up in a tight bun shook her head. “Not unless you can get the morgue guys here any faster.”
Rick actually hadn’t seen his share of dead bodies in his work for King’s County. He’d seen a few, and that meant standing in the roadway right now, the sight made him queasy and on edge. 
“Was it a heart attack or something?”
“Not sure,” she mumbled, then answered a question from one of the other officers.
Behind the barricade, a small crowd was gathering, some with cell phones out, taking photos and videos of the scene. Rick glanced back at Daryl, who remained in the truck. Rick met his eyes, and suddenly Daryl was pointing at him.
At the same time a voice cried out, “Sergeant!”
Rick turned to see the blonde police woman on high alert, reflexively drawing her sidearm. 
A collective gasp tore through the small crowd. Rick took a few steps back, not sure what to do since he was unarmed and unprotected.  He watched as the peaked man shambled out of his car and fell onto all fours on the hard pavement.  The sergeant lowered her weapon as the man got to his feet. He let out a gurgled growl and lunged for the nearest police officer. In their panic, the officer shot off their weapon into the man’s torso, yet he didn’t stop. He yanked on the officer’s shoulders and bit into their cheek.
Horrified Rick backed up even more, panic rising in his chest, alpha senses on high alert: protect and defend. 
But all he could do was watch as all the uniformed officers opened fire on the stumbling man. Bullets flew through his body. Yet it was many long seconds before he finally fell to the ground, his body unable to stand any longer. Still, the gurgling never ceased. He lay face down on the road, his jaw flapping and that sickening sound incessant.
One last shot impaled the man’s head. Then all was silent.
“Rick, we gotta get the fuck outta here.”
Rick let out a sudden breath, stunned to find Daryl standing next to him.
“I should stay and--” Rick protested.
“They need us. Now .” Daryl interrupted. “C’mon I know a back way home.”
Rick glanced back at the sergeant, who was treating her young officer’s facial wound. At the same time, he felt an urging insistence from his inner alpha to get back to you, his mate.
Without another word, both men got back in the truck, and Daryl peeled the vehicle off the highway and onto the shoulder, going back about half a mile to a turnoff down a dusty one-lane road.
*
By the time they were back to the Chalets it was nearing eight at night, and Rick followed Daryl inside, every instinct on high alert, and vaguely sensing your distress, a whisper compared to what Daryl felt since Rick had yet to claim you. 
Daryl barrelled through the kitchen door, and you were there, falling into his arms and shaking. Rick closed the door behind him, and then you reached your hand, grabbing his. 
“Carl’s asleep,” you whispered. “Have you seen the news?”
“What news?” Daryl asked, pulling away to look down at you.
“A man--he tried to eat someone. A police officer . “
Rick slipped his hand from yours and left you with Daryl. In the living room, he saw Carl fast asleep under  a knitted afghan, and the television was on, the volume low. On screen were a series of grainy videos captured on flip phones and smartphones, each a different angle of the very scene he witnessed. The news reporters’ voiceovers tried to explain the scene, questioning what they actually saw.
They concluded it was drug-related, and police backed up this claim, according to their sources.
But Rick knew what he had seen. No drug could account for a man standing up to a spray of bullets from multiple police officers. The videos also didn’t capture the inhuman sounds the man had made, the very memory of that gurgling wail was not something Rick was likely to ever forget.
Distantly, he heard you and Daryl in the living room.
“It’s okay, Bubbie,” Daryl whispered, bringing Rick’s attention away from the TV. He found the remote and turned it off, all the shoulds and supposed to ’s of his job flitting through his mind.
Yet, he couldn't stomach the thought of going back out there, of leaving you and Carl. Besides, this was not something a King’s County deputy had any jurisdiction over.
“Go to Rick now, okay?” Daryl told you, meeting Rick’s eyes. “I gotta unload the truck and lock up.”
Rick nodded, and reached for you. He led you down the hallway, toward your nest. You hung onto him with both hands, trembling, but not crying or whimpering, at least not yet.
“I was so worried about you,” you told him, at the threshold of the bedroom. “Daryl was--I’d never felt him like that--and--I’m just glad you’re safe and here. What happened on your way home?”
Rick pressed you up against the wall, drawing close and resting his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry I had you worried. I just wanted to help.”
“Help? With what?”
Rick began to explain. “What you saw on TV…we were there, right at the road block. I was offering to help when--” Rick stopped short, unsure how to explain just what happened. “When that man attacked someone.”
“You were there?” You grabbed at his shirt. “So what I felt was you and Daryl--so close to it--and you--”
“I wanted to help,” Rick repeated. “And they had it under control until he got out of the car. Everyone thought he was dead, but I guess not.”
Your lower lip trembled.
“Hush, Bunny,” he commanded you, and you remained silent. “We’re fine now, aren’t we? Me and Daryl.”
You shook your head and bit your lip. 
“What is it?” he asked.
“It’s nothing,” you replied, clearly trying to control yourself.
Rick kissed your forehead and ran his hands up and down your sides, trying to comfort you.
“I’m selfish,” you whispered after a moment. “I just want you home and safe. But that’s not who you are. It’s your job to be out there.”
“Not tonight.”
You blinked up at him, eyes questioning.
Rick cupped your jaw and moved his thumbs over your cheeks. “Tonight, you get to be selfish.”
“I do?”
Rick nodded, and leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth. Then, he whispered in your ear. “And so do I.”
==
Next chapter.
==
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allfrogsmatter · 2 months
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i spent a lot of my weekend playing sims 3 and mannn i forgot how much i loved that game, but it also makes me miss the sims 4 like crazy
rambling thoughts below (also if you played s3 what do you miss or not miss about it???)
sims 4 just does a much better job with relationships and dynamics between sims, which makes it such a good platform for storytelling and i miss that because all my sims 3 sims’ relationships just seem so flat
but there’s something about sims 3 that just makes it so playable. the open world truly was so nice, i love not having loading screens anytime i leave the lot and being able to toggle between sims as they go about their day - i miss it so much in sims 4
also the autonomy in sims 3 just seems so much better, when i leave my sims to their devices they always seem to want to clean up or play with the dog, but in s4 it’s play video games or drink water and leave dirty cups around, plus they spend so much more time actually doing things instead of standing around (maybe this is just because i didn’t excessively mod my game fro s3 but still)
and the wants in s3 are so much better than whims in s4, something about the way they’re displayed just makes me actually want to complete them, and i love that lifetime aspirations show up as wants for kids and teens
other things from s3 i missed:
- pets are more doable- in s4 they’re always running away from neglect because my sims don’t interact with them unless i make them
- separation between worlds- i wish you could travel to other worlds for vacation like you can the ones from world adventures, but i like that your world is contained in s3, everyone at the school lives in your world, everyone at your job lives in your world, you can maintain relationships with people from other worlds but they’re not showing up at your door every day (esp. in the context of a decades challenge, if your sims immigrate from europe to america you won’t be seeing your european auntie walking down the street in your neighborhood)
-color wheel - oh my god, i had almost forgotten, this genuinely was a heartbreaker when s4 came out, there was so much variability in cas and build in s3, even with limited clothing options you could create unique looks for your sims with different patterns and textures and you weren’t restricted to the awful ea options
-clothes- something about the s3 basegame clothing option, it’s just very workable and versatile, maybe i think this because trends have come full circle, but a few years ago when i jumped into s3 again i remember being so tickled with the outfit options
-teens- there’s something about s3 teens that just makes them better, maybe because they made them look like teens by making them shorter instead of just scrawny, but with generations teens just feel more fully fleshed out than in s4 (i don’t have growing together or high school years so ig that’s on me, but also i can’t afford both of those packs)
-packs- something that has really been grinding my gears for the almost TEN YEARS since s4 came out is how much extra content you have to purchase, for s3 if you wanted game content, for the most part you got it through expansion packs, but s4 is just excessive with expansion packs, game packs, stuff packs, kits, etc. there’s just so many features that you want in your game, but it costs a small fortune to get them all because they��re distributed across packs that cost up to $40
-PRICE- i have so many nostalgic memories of saving up my $20 to go to target and buy a new expansion pack for s3, then the joy i felt when it was on sale, every s3 expansion was, and still is, $20 but for s4 they’re twice that, the only time i can ever justify purchasing anymore is when they’re on sale
- rabbitholes- it seems like for s4 they did away with a lot of rabbitholes, just not work and school (except with packs), it was nice being able to send my sims to the movies or the bistro for a date night and not have to be following them the whole time, making them interact
- ownership- maybe it’s just me but i miss physically having the boxes the games came in and putting the disk into the computer and having the little icon for every pack on my desktop, i don’t like how everything’s through origin or the ea app now, esp. because for whatever reason s3 university got uninstalled on my moms pc and ea wanted me to buy it and when i used the code from the box it said it had already been applied (i only have the one account i have no clue why tf they took university from me) and if i didn’t have the disk i wouldn’t have been able to reinstall
- i also miss little things, like ordering pizza and seeing my sims drive around and catching birds in the wild and holiday festivals
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kingjaffejoffer · 1 year
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I was raised in the Caribbean, came to the US and was raised around black Americans my whole life, got a big promotion, alot of the guys had the wife, nice house, luxury cars making six figures. I was the only black person in my building. Sometimes a lot of the men would chill in my office. A lot of them talked freely about drugs, first time I ever heard anyone talk freely in the states about paying for sex, it wasn’t that they couldn’t get it.. well some weren’t getting it home, others it was discreet, no back and forth, some didn’t have the time, others just wanted to try different nationalities, fast forward the company moved me to the west coast not Cali but for the first time I see sex workers on the street in lingerie, I see alot of Latin men, even the teens or sons too with shopping no around. I do some research and it’s not really illegal in most South American countries so I guess it’s the culture around it. One thing I’ve been trying to figure out is how, or when black men of America became so against trading actual currency for sex work? Because you will get the actual gift for exchange but not **money** although I think they will spend it for “exotic” like Colombian, s Dominican sex workers for the low. I’ve been trying to come up with a reasoning for awhile now because I just like to make sense of how things around me work. I make more money now if I got it & I want to take someone on a weekend gateaway & pay for everything I just got it like that our income is different it’s not tricking.
It's definitely still tricking whether you have money or not. I'm not saying anything is wrong with it, but it is what it is.
I think there's still more of a stigma surrounding it with Black American men because we pride ourselves on being desirable to women more than other races. Also in America, black men have more of an affinity to pimp culture than other races do. Other races are involved in human trafficking and sex work (Asians for example, esp in California) but the culture in their industry is completely different
Black American men place more importance on being cool, having style, having game, being desirable, having sexual prowess.... All of those things. And they all factor into the stigma around paying for sex and companionship.
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not-so-rosyyy · 1 year
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Yeah, with TZ you have to go with the flow and not have a lot of preconceived notions. They have very busy careers and they have families that live thousands of miles apart so they often can't celebrate important dates together. But they are committed to make up for it in other ways (not being able to be together on V-Day but then going to a hockey game wearing jerseys with each other's names; being in separate cities during Tom's bday but having 2 bday celebrations for him the weekend before and the weekend after; not being able to be with Z during the Emmys, but Z uses her first post-award interview to use the word "boyfriend" to refer to her romantic partner; they have a romantic weekend in Paris; they go to a Dead Sea when Z has a few days off of Dune; they celebrate Christmas with their respective families but the week before Z takes him to her former school and other landmarks of her childhood, and then they have the long tropical vacation in which they disappear for a whole month). The only thing that we can predict about them is that they will make the best effort to spend quality time together and that they will be supportive of each other's professional endeavors
I mean we can have some light discourse, but some people just need to take everything less seriously esp if it’s about the ins and outs of their relationship because we truly are not privy on that. idk how many times I've said it but I personally am just here for the laughs and the "awww they're so cute I'm gonna throw up" and the "lord me when" so I'm never really worried about them or assume every single thing they do (that we know of) is a big enough deal to impact their relationship 😂
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shinakazami1 · 1 year
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hhhh long ask anon here! thinking of calling myself 307 anon…(not me seeing a person looking at details I didn't care much about and make a whole identity out of it)
SO UHMMM HELLO?? YOUR RESPONSE IS SO LOVELY??? IM SO GLAD MY ASK HAD SUCH A POSITIVE IMPACT (holding my phone tightly giggling kicking my legs) (looking at you compliment chain)
You. you talked about me to your close friends and the server. I was presented in front of the councils. please have mercy on me. aaaaaaaaa *shaking violently*. (how were their reactions. i like reading others’ thoughts)
ok I read the soulmate bodyswap series and. what . that's too much sugar for a normal human to handle. such sweetness, my dentists aren’t going to like this/j
no reviews this ask, sorry! hhhhh I just want to pick the details I liked and then ramble about them (which is���a lot aikdhsadhjd, considering the last ask already took 1 hour and a half to write and edit-) But I've been rereading Dear Stanley and the soulmate bodyswap series for the second time though! getting all those details in…ugh dearest most wonderful blorbos and their writers,,, >:))
i guess i'll make up for it by a marine animal fact? although being called puppers of the sea, seals are actually closer to bears than to dogs!…maybe many people already knew it but-
have a nice weekend!
Anon I hecking stimmed when I saw getting a message from you (tell me if you ever want to become more than parasocial relation and show yourself / silly )
I will start calling you 307 anon too hehe, we adore staring at minor details and making them not as minor anymore
(The Soulmate AU fic is right here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3264705
Lemme respond under the cut:
Of course they have a huge impact, really, today has been a good day overall for me but I showed my roommate that I got another ask from you since I was v happy (read your message 3 times and then reading it rn again to just respond well to each point foahhifaso)
I did! They said that was v nice of you to write and well people from Stanarr and some mutuals decided to send asks and I am just thankful to every single one of you ;w;;w;w;w; I kept saying how nice it is for you to choose to spend time to write these and esp now hearing that you wrote that last ask for 1 hour DUDE my gosh you just are so considerate to share your appreciation with creators and I really am thankful to you!! EDIT: I shared with a few close buds and one of them was like "get them on our discord server, they have been accepted" OIHFSASOA
I AM GLAD, Surf and I wanted it to be a nice funny and fluffy thing and it was a blast writing these idiots (esp Stanley was my fav cus I just kept on throwing the most batshit crazy things to say at this man)
It's alr!! You already just writing the first paragraph made me so happy oiahioaosi and YOU HECKING REREAD THOSE MY GOODNESS 307 ANON YOU ARE SO KIND ;;;; and also hehe glad you think I'm wonderful *twirls my hair like a high school girl and then misses a step falling over-*
I didn't know that actually! I am right now reading this and hearing seals evolved from land creatures, huh, we learn everyday, thank you for the fun trivia anon!!
I hope you yourself will have a lovely rest of the day and weekend and you are doing alr there!! We might be strangers but you doing this for the third time just means a lot, to know you spend so much time and effort on these and want to read my stuff, just thank you :>
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kelsiejayy · 2 years
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Hello! I was wondering if I could get a marvel and criminal minds ship?
My pronouns are she/her and either male or female preference is good. I’m 19 so 18+ characters pls!
𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent at first. I’m usually too much in my head daydreaming and thinking. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my friends I’m quite friendly and outgoing. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I open up to people very easily if we have similar interests. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else unless the result directly affects me. I'm also quite dedicated and ambitious on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.
𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: New media art. I love to creative code. I love working with interaction design, web design, user experience and user interfaces. I also love creating special effects, and 3D/2d modeling. Apart from this, I love digital illustration and character design. I also probably spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.
LIKES: I love lazy weekends at home, classic arcades, coffee, learning random new facts, spending time alone, intelligence, creativity, a good sense of witty humor, conversations where you can just be yourself and skip all the awkward small talk, the look on people’s faces when they ramble abt the stuff they’re into, a good home cooked meal, summer and warm weather, a good giggling session with friends esp abt fictional crushes ahahha.
DISLIKES: physical touch (tho I do warm up to the people I’m close too), my biggest pet peeve is people getting in my personal space and touching my things without asking. I also dislike large crowds, cold weather, admitting my anxieties, talking on the phone, and small talk
Thank you ❤️
hi thank you for your ask!
MARVEL: bucky
ok so this will be a rant because i can't describe how perfect this feels to me- i am not kidding when i say this cause omfg. ok so you both are a little awkward with people but for different reasons obviously, so i think when you open up in a comfortable setting along with bucky you would just be the most fun couple ever. i am talking dry jokes only you both will laugh at funny faces in random settings the whole nine yards. i also think your love for art would really calm bucky. for him watching your design process and how you create would just be so calming and i can picture the quiet afternoons you guys would have with music in the background as he watches you create in comfortable silence. obviously, workout dates will be a must along with your other outings and such. i can also see you guys thriving in a rainy weekend with books reading a thons and making homemade meals to eat during them. i think with both the nonphysical touch vibes you both have it would be a good pair because your relationship could form by comforting each other in more unique but equally sincere ways. it is just so perfect i am sorry if i rambled on this one a bit haha
CRIMINAL MINDS: spencer ried
ok so i have coined spencer as tumblrs boyfriend but i cannot get over the way yall could bond abt digital art. like the amount this boy would geek out just sends me to the moon it would be so adorable i have said what i said. bc the SECOND you need a new piece of tech he is putting in the work to find the best and most efficient thing for you. ok but ur dates also- the nights at the bau are long so it would prolly just be home dinners/take out while you guys watch a comfort movie or spencer reads you a comfort book(yall have prolly tried reading the same book at the same time but he is done within the hour and ur maybe a quarter of the way in). i have to say he won't be going with u on ur gym trips bc i mean...yeah but he most definitely will be ur chauffer and wait in the parking lot reading while you finish. and ofc the jokes yall make will be so dry and knowledge base that you will be the only ones laughing but i think that just makes it so much cuter.
my first ship from being back! i hope you enjoyed it!
ship requests are open as of 6/20!
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salaciousslut · 4 months
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Thats more than valid!! When i have the occasional dream something in the real world has to remind me of the dream. Or i only remember 1-3 seconds of my dream. Its cute ive shown up in your dreams twice now<3
I promise i wont feel bad about it sweetheart☺️ and yeah, youre right i cant deny being enamored by you🫣 i blame the fact that youre charming and irresistible🥰
Please I love lazy days i could spend the whole day tracing shapes on your skin and talking to you<3 i know youre cute when youre sleepy so lemme make you comfy🥺
I wont lie some fire signs take some warming up to, ive had my share of meeting leos who are so far up their own asses that i just couldnt even stand to be around them. But most other fire signs are chill, but im also from what is ironically a family of fire and air signs so i might be biased! 🤭 also now that i think of it one of my best friends who is always down to go out to bars whenever i ask is also a virgo🤭 i even made plans with them friday night to force our other friends to come out to a bar with us to celebrate one of our favorite artist's birthday when he turns 40 this Tuesday. I dont know much about astronomy but i'd like to go stargazing with you, i think it'd be nice<3
Im glad you at least got some rest! Dont give yourself a headache by studying too hard, sweetheart🥺 i know you'll do great on your exam, like absolute confidence in your skill<3
And what'd you have for lunch!? I was actually about to wash some rice for lunch and check to see if we have any chicken left for some protein, im also thinking about day drinking though 🙄 on weekends i always say i'll drink after 5pm and then i never drink, like i didnt touch any of my alcohol yesterday even though i wanted to?? Like i dont understand myself, i wanna do something so bad i dont do it.
im charming and irresistible 🥺🥰 you are too!! im just here kicking my feet and giggling babe, im nothing too special
yes ive had my fair share of fire signs but they have really grown on me and now i love them!! it just takes a lil bit to lower my walls with fire signs (esp aries besties, im sorry but ive in some sticky situations with yall) but yeah ive learned to love and accept them as they are!!!
omg im that way my friends too! my friends know i almost always say yes to going out, a lil dinner date, or shopping!! to me its about spending time with my people so i love being invited out
ooh which artist is turning 40??? who are we celebrating?? i wanna join!! hehe im kidding but that sounds super fun!!
thank you for believing in me!! just a lot of content but tbh im always stressed so it isnt much different! but ill be sure and take breaks here and there!!
i had some salad and leftover fried chicken and rice!! yummy and twinsies haha!! i support day drinking (to an extent) so get a drink!!! ill be getting drunk out of my mind tomorrow after my exam so you know the vibes!! but i feel you! if i wanna do something so bad, i end up always pushing it back, its sooo irritating
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deludedcrayon · 5 months
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happy new years guys :’) i guess ill tell u abt my nye…
i was rlly excited for it. i’ve shared how hard it’s been at home, esp w my mom always asking me abt drinking when im literally not. i was excited to be with my friends for two nights. it was difficult tbh.
the 30th i had no choice but to be at my friends hours before everyone else. i felt like i was imposing everytime they complained abt our other friends taking so long. i just felt so uncomfortable around their family the whole day too. i know them well but i didn’t realize how bad my social anxiety is until this weekend. the uncomfortableness, internal tension, visible awkwardness, and anxious second guessing thoughts were non stop. i had fun with my friends too, but i forget how when we’re together i always feel so unimportant and stupid.
on nye, my friend’s extended family came over, along with their male cousins 3 friends. i have no reason to be uncomfortable around men or people around my age, but once again, i realized how bad my social anxiety is today. all of my friends had no problems interacting and socializing and were interesting, funny, and cool. i was the weird one who gets ignored and odd looks. i’m in bed abt to sleep and i leave tmrw and i feel like crying because it’s just so hard for me to socialize in groups of new people and i don’t know why and what’s wrong with me.
i’m spending 2.5 hours busing tmrw just so i can have some time alone then be stuck in a car with my mom for 1 hour or hang out with my friends longer, and i feel so horrible about it.
everything i’ve shared that i was looking forward to talking about i realized how stupid it was. and everything people laugh at that i say i realize they’re laughing at me and not with me. i don’t even want to talk with my therapist abt this bc what do i say “my life is perfectly fine and i have friends and a family and money and school yet i feel so horrible inside that everyday is such a challenge and i don’t know what to do because this is something so innate in me i don’t know if it can ever be fixed”
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01themagician · 9 months
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what can i say except GOOD LORDIE!! i really dont have much free time now lol... morning is a hectic race to get ready and evening is a treasured time for myself and even then i dont have much of it. the commute time remains available but i dont like doing things on the train... my laptop is too big for the tiny tables they got there and the phone is unsufficient for Getting Damn Things Done. lunch break in the uni is another time window: and it is better. i actually did my german homework during lunch today!
some business remains unfinished, but im chipping away, ok... what doesnt help is that some classes were moved to 9 am instead of 10 😭 bro i dont want to wake up at 6 i have sandwiches to pack and shit!! (although i like that the kitchen is empty at that time.)
the classmates are nice and fun... their portfolios (half of the class did a show n tell today) are fucking insane though i dont know how i was accepted. many of them had experience in the field, or did like a whole YEAR of uni-branded preparatory course which is fucking insane and expensive as shit and no wonder they got whole actual games in their portfolios. one thing that makes me happy is that in this class besides me there are people who dont speak german (esp swiss german) on the native speaker level and so the rest of the classmates switch to english with us no problem and i dont feel singled out very much (there are still some times tho... but i will yet learn!!)
current concerns are few... we had an actual lecture today and i understood it surprisingly well :) so some of the language-related worries have been quieted. i dont have time to cook and that isnt very nice... there is however (slim) time for groceries, so maybe ill figure out some ways to meal prep on the weekends? dear high heavens!! i just cant wait for the german class to end (end of october) so that i have 2 whole weekday evenings free!! for context, this week i have a grand total of NONE and im DYING!! times a bitch and im her bitch. etc.
current goals are: find a way to spend train time more effectively, even if its just reading a book; wake up without social media (theyre a time eater!!) (ideally combine this and p1); figure out the food situation or accept that ill need to eat from the canteen (not a bad option. its pretty good and affordable).
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inchidentally · 3 months
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tricky asks time! a lot have built up so I'm definitely going to have to do a multiparter - remember to bl 'wank adjacent' to not see these posts <3
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I'm putting these two together bc the first one is to do with a super creepy anon who has a very loud and fully parasocial "our relationship" attitude toward Lily and Oscar and ironically thought that me saying that I engage in rpf for fun on a website that requires multiple hoops to get through to even scroll one page of someone's blog. and the second is the side of fandom who have developed a certain idea of "perfect relationships" based solely on the woman remaining largely unknown and the man a major public figure.
okay, so. full disclosure: I don't have a great view of heterosexual relationships when it comes to what they do to women and what they take from women. I'm not automatically down on any of them and as always I'm like, other people's choices are fully their own and my opinions are irrelevant as far as they're concerned!
it's pretty obvious from me repeating over and over but first and foremost !! I am aggressively against internalized misogyny in fandom spaces, and esp toward the women who date or marry male public figures. it's absolutely rampant on a larrying level in carlando and pretty damn bad in dando and I've been adamant that landoscar won't fall prey to those people (carlando and dando fandoms still have plenty of great people, just to say <3).
but make no mistake, me sticking up for these women is because they do not deserve abuse as a basic decency. they're not dolls I pick up and put down based on if they happen to be with a guy I post about. they deserve respect regardless of who is observing them and why. *if they're genuinely problematic then that's a separate topic but holy shit only bring that morality if you're prepared to apply it to the men you're a fan of at the same time !!
the fact that we only know these women based on the man they're dating or married to is already problematic and I get pretty grossed out when fans go hard for a gf or wife and then easily transfer that energy immediately when there's a breakup and a new gf or wife. it's equally gross when they continue to follow the ex and say how much they "miss her" or constantly bring up her ex in spaces she can see.
so when I speak up about or for Lily and any other wife or girlfriend of a driver, I'm doing so with full respect for how uncomfortable it is that I only know of her existence bc of a man. and that I also have a responsibility in a fandom space - even one as fairly invisible as tumblr - to kick back at fans who attack them purely to create space for their rpf ship fantasy or their own unhealthy obsession.
it's also why you'll see me being a broken record about keeping the line between rpf for fun and the reality of these men's relationships.
I don't think I'll ever believe that a woman is anything but relatively happy in a partnership with the type of man who has to give their entire selves to their career. especially F1 that demands 10 months of almost nonstop travel and commitments. and sorry, the whole 'yay she has her own career/life!' as some kind of consolation prize for her sacrifices doesn't work bc in order for the relationship to exist beyond phone calls and texts has always required the wife or girlfriend to fly wherever he is to spend time together. very occasionally, I see someone like George or Alex make the effort during the season to fly out to their girlfriend. Oscar went on a minibreak with Lily during the break last season. like, that's bare minimum lol and nothing compared to these women flying across the globe and being stuck waiting around while their bf or husband only has the rare hour or so between commitments on a race weekend.
so any "praise" of a wife or girlfriend for how they accommodate a man's career and "stay out of the spotlight" or "stay private" is a massive red flag for me. an largely invisible woman dating a man with a public profile will never feel like an organic decision on her part to me. it's a reaction to a situation that shouldn't exist.
"his fans and fangirls are awful though" yea and that's not fucking right and it's not a reason to let them win. decent fans can work harder to suppress the shitty ones and mass report accounts. and I know that for Lily Z, she's gotten temporary respite by being nothing more than a woman walking beside Oscar and not "giving haters any ammunition". but for example, even though Lily M and Carmen still get occasional shit from idiots who just want to hate, they go relatively unscathed because the decision was made early on to be in on the rpf ship jokes and George and Alex consistently make as many posts about them in a sort of joint, impenetrable "this is our relationship and you will not drive these women into hiding". Lily's hugely intelligent and has professional STEM aspirations of her own.
it's wayyyyy too convenient to say she's as private as she is because privacy fulfills her and brings her happiness. it's just the flipside of haters giving her a conditional reprieve bc they don't have to be annoyed by her having a visible personality.
and guess what? we've never once heard from Lily herself that she would be private even without dating a man in the public eye. we've heard what her boyfriend has said. we've heard from Kym Ilm*n. and women in fandom have taken that and decided it's permission to praise her for not wanting to face unfair abuse. like ??? I am not ok with that lol.
"maybe she just doesn't want to be super visible or have a public identity!" nah. if she's under 50 then having a public identity is fully the norm so it's too much of a convenient reach to make that assumption. and if she has a career of her own then she absolutely needs to have a public identity. even when you start out in entry positions, showing the work you do and the people you work with is totally normal for advancement. (I'm in shitty jobs so that doesn't apply to me lol but no F1 wife or gf will be working my jobs. almost all the women I know are in aspirational careers tho.)
women deserve to at least have a go at being a dynamic, public person who pursues life to the degree she chooses irrespective of her bf - and if afterward she finds she wants to be super private and raise a man's babies out of sight AND SHE SAYS SO HERSELF then that's absolutely wonderful.
but absolutely no one can convince me that women aren't conditioned and pressured in a world like F1 to either shut up and stay out of the way, or that they're "asking for it" if they do live publicly and have crazies stalking them and sending them abuse.
*side note that I've heard some ummm potentially not great things about Seb with regard to women that are not worth repeating here in case they've been blown out of proportion or just rumors. (I get the whole "he may have changed" but a lot of the videos of him flirting with women or objectifying them is... not great and hopefully he's seen the error in that) but even if it's all untrue (and obv I hope it is) I'm only happy for his wife if she has openly stated herself that she voluntarily chose to remain largely invisible and put up with him being absent so often and her having to be the one to alter her life to be with him during the F1 season. if she hasn't clearly said that herself (a direct quote "" and not just a reporter stating it) then there's no point in us assuming it about her. and the Seb's words are not a replacement for her own, sorry.
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I'm not at all a person to comment on this myself but I fully respect your experience babe <3 I personally know and know of a few ppl who got together in HS and ended up getting engaged or married and they're already cheating or breaking up so I also can't contradict you aslfgsjalgf
and just to say: while I (for all the reasons above) will never be yay I'm so glad Lily is tied to a man whose job absorbs his entire life I will NEVER say that outside these replies. I will always push support for Lily - and any gf Lando might have at some point - bc they deserve and need it in fandom. and any of our takes on these relationships are pointless and irrelevant anyway.
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I think I covered my own feeling about this above and tbh it depends on the intent. if they're going to drop the woman in question if/when a breakup happens then yea that is super creepy and weird to make fan pages etc.
I like following certain wives and gfs accounts mostly bc I live vicariously through the glamour of their lives but I'd feel weird interacting with their content or making fan content of it when I know damn well I only started following them bc of a man.
it's tricky to say and I think it depends so much on the individual fan's intent and how they create that content y'know?
but god yeah, unless a ship is a joke openly shared by the men in question like carlando and dando then I need these official accounts to just not do rpf. it's why I tend not to rb when that happens with landoscar bc I so want this ship to remain mostly under the radar and not attract rpf truthers.
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n0toverit · 9 months
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huge vent feel free to ignore
okay day is now becoming kinda bad day esp with everything that’s happened recently i haven’t worked in like two weeks bc quit old job to go to new job bc i got a car which is literally everything i worked for at old job like saving 550-650 per check so i could get a car and then i got in an accident so i have no car which is the whole reason i went to new job interview and got the job that o was so happy and so excited for and now i have no car so i got all used to having my own time and doing things in my own not asking if i can be dropped of here or if i can be brought there i could just do it on my own and i was able to see bf twice a week instead of once bc he wasn’t the only one driving all the way to me and back every week but now i get more info on new job just to find out my kinda ex friend at this point that works there told me ppl wear jewelry and have their nails and lashes done blah blah so i give myself a fresh set of acrylic nails this past weekend, i would have had lashes but that was the day of the accident just for the email to say no perfume/cologne, no jewelry whatsoever (rings of any sort, earrings, bracelets,watches) no makeup, no hair or eyelash extensions, no acrylic nails or nail polish, and above all that said that if you violate any part of the dress code you’ll be sent home and have training rescheduled for the next week which mine was already rescheduled bc the class i was supposed to be in on the 5th got too full so they moved me to the 12th now i have to remove a basically full fresh set of acrylics and take off all of my jewelry including my ring from my boyfriend which means the most to me i literally cried the one day i forgot to put it back on a couple weeks ago after washing my cat and then take out all 3 sets of earrings i have and possibly lose the 3rd holes entirely that i only got making sure with that friend that i would be able to wear at least just regular plain earrings and not have to take them out and she said yes they shouldn’t say anything so not only was i basically fully lied to but i have only a few days to figure out what to do with all my stuff idk if they’ll let me in with clear piercing retainers or not i’ll have to see how they look cause i’m not sure if i’ll have my hair up or not this is all so disappointing and upsetting with the fact that i’m pretty sure all week i’m gonna have to uber home too cause they’re doing it on a tuesday when my regular schedule has me off from sunday -tuesday and alternating wednesdays i’m happy i have the job and it’s a better working place than the last job i had especially since i know i won’t be doing 3diff ppls jobs and playing manager through the week but i wish the stupid accident didn’t happen and my stupid friend wasn’t so stupid if i can even call her a friend at this point we had this not rlly huge but idk falling out argument whatever that she complains how she feels like i don’t want hang out with her anymore or that i spend all my time with my bf who i’ve only been able to see 2-3 times a week IF IM LUCKY but normally once a week on tuesdays for over a year but she thinks i spend all my time and days off with him when he lives 45mins away from me or that i don’t wanna hang out with her when she leaves me on seen and delivered for weeks and at time and she thinks it’s like a hehe oopsies i did to that didn’t i like it’s so annoying and irritating i’ve actually fully stopped talking to her bc of it she said she was gonna be better about it and she hasn’t changed anything so i just stopped talking to her fully because it’s sad and annoying esp seeing as we were best friends since we were like 10-11 and now she just pretty much lies or pays so little attention and practically ignores me everything g is so upsetting recently i just wish i still had my car and never made that stupid appointment and that i had better friends when at this point my only friend is my boyfriend if he even really counts and maybe one other person but we can’t even really hang out now cause i don’t have a car anymore
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yeombin · 2 years
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part i.iii: the day darkness fought against the light
(prev - series masterlist - next)
pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader, soobin x fem!reader, platonic ot5 x fem! reader
genre: angst, fantasy, fluff - adaptation of an interpretation of the txt storyline
section one playlist: here
word count: ~20k (just under!) 
chapter warnings: this chapter features a lot of death and blood and angst!! for sure, the most angsty so far. also features homophobic behaviour and bittersweet moments. also mentions of food and unrequited love. 
~ if there is anything that can be triggering in this writing and i have failed to tag it, please let me know ~ 
a/n: endless thanks to @pastelsicheng​ whose help i couldn’t do this without ❤️ (esp for the fight scene omg). also thank you for dealing with the long wait time! work and life piled up 💀 
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Ever since you had a concept of life beyond childhood, the six of you promised to stick together through thick and thin. Repeated in whispers and in exclamations, the promise looked like it’d keep. Unfortunately, it was broken by the malicious words of a fifteen-year-old boy. 
From your first meeting to the last fight, the six of you experienced all that childhood and being a teenager had to offer. You watched each other grow in more ways than one. Previously, you were certain that there’d be many more milestones you’d get to experience together, from getting your first official jobs to retirement. Now, you just have to watch your friends experience them from afar. 
This was a fact that would particularly sting you later that day, as you would be barely twenty metres away from each other and pretending like the other doesn’t exist. 
An event purely focused on rituals, your personal tradition for the Harvest Festival is to spend the day with your best friends, help Yeonjun prepare for his speech, and then participate in as many activities throughout the event. Today was the first day straying away from tradition.
In fact, this time - the whole event is straying away from tradition. For one, Yeonjun wasn’t there to make his usual speech. Consequently, his absence has provided people with a scapegoat in case crops fail this year. 
Secondly, this is the first time in six years that the Harvest Festival fell on a weekend. 
Your friends had planned a special schedule for this weekend earlier in the year to truly celebrate. Everyone had written down what they wanted to do and Taehyun even scoured the books for more information about the festival’s history. While he couldn’t find much on it, Taehyun managed to find some of the historically accurate ways to celebrate the event. So while the plan was to go to the forest and practise Yeonjun’s speech, it also consisted of honouring old traditions like wearing woven or knitted products and gifting loved ones. When your parents heard of this plan, Mrs. Huening went straight to weaving six woven bracelets (and a special handkerchief for Yeonjun as it’d be his first speech as an adult). 
Back then, he promised to come back for the Harvest Festival. But back then, he also promised a lot of things. 
Knocking on the home you haven’t stepped foot in for half a year, you felt a tense heaviness fall on your shoulders as your heart sank…and sank…and sank. It wasn’t that you hadn’t been by his front door since the fight - you had to come by for deliveries, but the town’s gossip mill informed you of why today’s delivery was so special. 
Yeonjun was leaving town for university. Somewhere further than Beliftham, like he previously promised. ‘About a day’s carriage ride away’, Mrs. Ho had told you. 
Could the collapse of your friend group have led to him leaving his original plans of studying at a local university? You couldn’t help but wonder. Yet, you knew this option was better for him and his dreams.  
You got confirmation of his departure when you attended his graduation. A promise is a promise, you attended even without his knowledge. As he crossed the stage for the final time in his school career, they announced his plans to study politics at the renowned university in a central city. 
To describe how you were feeling when you found out is complicated. For one, you were elated; Yeonjun found his passion and was pursuing it at the country’s most renowned university. You didn’t have a doubt in your mind that he’d succeed. But, he’d be so far away. And you have yet to rebuild the bridge that was degraded by Ki-Hoon. 
You expected Mrs. Choi or Mayor Choi to show up at the door, as they normally do. When you’d come around, they acted like nothing had happened; as if you still showed up every week with your friends, ready to wander off with their son.
So lost in thought, you didn’t hear the muffled calls and footsteps from inside the house. 
“I’ll get the doo-” His voice trailed off as he laid his eyes on you, already using the door to protect him as if Beomgyu had sent you to start another fight. If it wasn’t from the feeling of fondness that radiated from within you as you looked into his eyes, you’d swear he was annoyed you came. “Oh, Y/N. Hello.” 
“Uh, hello.” Each word seemed to carefully tiptoe as if they were walking on broken glass. “You have a delivery.” You motioned towards the basket and Yeonjun immediately bowed to say thank you. Through the door widening, you see wooden boxes packed with all his stuff. 
Once the basket was free from your arms, a weirdly comforting silence filled you. Weird, purely as along with the comfort that came from his familiarity also came the tension of what had previously happened. 
You decided to break the glass you were walking on. “Congratulations, by the way.” Yeonjun tilted his head, as if he wasn’t packing the whole afternoon. “For university. I’m proud of you.” 
Yeonjun let out a dry chuckle, before looking awkward. His hand went to scratch the back of his neck as he tried to defend his choice from your non-existent judgement. “I thought ultimately, it’d be better for me to study there rather than Beliftham. It really - I know we promi-” 
“Hey,” you interrupted him. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. You’re doing what’s best for you, and I’m so happy if you’re happy.” Yeonjun smiled softly back at you, before looking down at his feet. 
“I’m going to miss you a lot,” he croaked, now both of you looking down at the ground. Part of you wanted to reach out and give him the biggest hug possible. You could feel fear of uncertainty, of an unknown place. 
“I’ll miss you so much too.” Looking back up and making eye contact with him, you smiled. The future is scary and seeing Yeonjun leave was scarier, but you could tell he’d be happier there. “Let me know when you’re back, okay?” Maybe then, there won’t be anymore tension with everyone, you hoped. 
Placing the basket onto the ground, Yeonjun opened up his arms for your embrace and nodded.
“Jagiya!” Beomgyu called from the tomato patch, taking you out of your bittersweet memory. “Can you help me?” He sulked, making you chuckle. Your boyfriend has always hated tomatoes. 
As there was no school today, you decided to lend your parents extra help to prepare for the feast. Beomgyu didn’t hesitate to tag along. 
(‘It’s a test,’ your dad teased as he watched Beomgyu harvest carrots with his critical eye, “to make sure he truly is eligible as your suitor.”)
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Entering the festival, your hand was interlocked with Beomgyu’s. The festival was already full of life by the beginning of it all, your neighbours filing in and playing games or filling up their cups with whatever mead (or apple juice) that is available. An array of lanterns provide cover from the dark night sky. Although the community was always so lively, the town was buzzing with a different type of energy. It almost was like you were in a whole new town altogether. 
Upon your entry, you spotted Taehyun and Kai. Although from a distance away, like you were growing up, you were magnetised to them. Almost immediately, you felt compelled to stare at their wrists. Were they wearing the bracelets too?  The sensation of the woven fabric around your wrist became an itching sensation as you tried to see if they too wore the friendship bracelets. Unfortunately, you couldn’t see it from here. 
By the pond, the two of them were…wrestling, is the best way to describe it. They were cackling; trying to force the other to fall down…into the pond? The sight of them made you smile. They look happy. Tuning into their animated laughs and giggles (and even their disappointed groans), you were happy. 
Yet a heaviness fell onto your heart. You wondered how the game would look if you were all involved. The first thing that came to mind was how Yeonjun and Soobin would spectate with you, acting like a commentator at an archery match. Beomgyu would’ve joined, or…well, more like knocked someone into the pond and flee from Taehyun’s anger. You wanted to go up to them, ask them how they are, and spend time with them - but you already knew how the last time went. 
“Oh, hey!” You grinned as you locked eyes with Taehyun and Kai as they walked back from the forest. It used to be all of your spots, somewhere you go to as six. Now, you all go there individually or in small groups. 
 Beomgyu’s grip on your hands tightened, not expecting to see the two. Sure, since the fight - the real bad blood was between Soobin and Beomgyu. Not between you, Kai, or Taehyun (you were unsure as to what happened with Yeonjun for him to avoid you, but you wanted to respect his wishes). However, Beomgyu drew invisible lines in the sand. And, to respect Beomgyu, you avoided Soobin. You didn’t want another fight. 
Kai and Taehyun greeted you with a smile - Kai about to go in for a hug, but once they locked eyes with Beomgyu; they tensed up. Trying to not talk about the elephant in the room, you asked them how school was going. Beomgyu’s eyes remained trained on the ground. 
“Yeah, fine, fine.” Taehyun said, carefully eyeing Beomgyu. You could tell that in this situation, no one is comfortable - not even you who was walking on eggshells as you tried to ensure nothing falls apart around you…at least, not more than it already has. “How are you…two?” He spat out the last word, as if he was releasing a poisonous arrow. 
Shaking your shared arm, you tried to encourage Beomgyu to talk - especially as he started to only make eye contact with you; his eyes pleading to leave. “We’re good!,” you answered, giving up. “Do you want to make plan-” 
“You guys are probably in a rush, right?” Kai and Taehyun seemed to have read Beomgyu’s mind as well, which is easy enough - they did grow up together. “We’ll let you be. Are you on a date?” 
Beomgyu nodded. “Yep, yep.” His lack of verbal thoughts were a sign he wasn’t in the mood for this. 
You motioned to the basket that Beomgyu is holding. “Picnic. Maybe one day-” Kai gave you a look. The look told you he knew what you were trying to do, but they didn’t want to poke the bear. Stopping mid-sentence, you admitted defeat to the pains of time and of change. “Yeah, well, it’s super lovely to see you guys.” 
“You too.” Taehyun smiled. You fought the urge to hug them. 
Would it be better if Beomgyu and I weren’t together? Obviously, with the dissolution of your friendship - you felt empty for a long time. They have been in your life since you could remember; they were your family.  It’s not to say you weren’t happy with Beomgyu - you were unbelievably happy. You adored him. Yet, you wondered what life would be like if your friends were still all together. 
You didn’t dare to say these thoughts out loud. You didn’t want to cause a fight.
“Let’s go take a seat?” you asked, tearing your eyes away from your old friends and towards the picnic tables. Beomgyu quickly agreed, hooking his arm into yours to keep you closer to him. Mindless chatter with Beomgyu always brought you to ease; it has since you were little kids. 
As soon as you reached the picnic tables, you immediately slumped into Beomgyu. Resting your legs over his lap and nuzzling your head on his shoulder, you felt at home in his embrace. Closely attuned, you could feel his chest move as he breaths and laughs and talks, and you couldn’t help but feel safe. You adore him - you truly do. More than you could ever describe. 
I want to marry him one day, you thought - ignorant to how he was thinking the same. To Beomgyu, his future was wrapped in his arms - breathing, living, and safe. 
However, the sight of Kai and Taehyun at the festival reminded you of the past. It’s odd to think back to the week after the fight; avoiding Beomgyu, who was once (and is) like a hearth, who at the time froze you over like a lake in winter.
“Y/N!” Your name echoed throughout the school halls you just tried to escape. It’s been a week since the fight and you’ve avoided every one except Taehyun, worried it’ll prompt a fight…maybe something worse. “Y/N!” The voice continued to call for you, until you were at the isolated spot of the school park and realised you couldn’t go too much farther. 
You took a breath, tired from your quick-rapid walking. Huffing, you turned around. “What?”
“Why have you been avoiding me again?” Beomgyu’s voice sounded like he was begging. Yes, sure, you walked to class with him and spent the rest of the day together the day of the fight. However, it was that night the realisation hit you; what exactly Beomgyu did. 
Sure, Ki-Hoon might’ve supplied the knife - but Beomgyu used it. Beomgyu had cut the ties between your group. The same group who you promised forever to. 
“I just…need a break.” You sighed and looked down at your hand. Beomgyu followed your line of sight, and immediately melted into the earth. The ring was gone; you left it at home until you got your thoughts sorted out. 
“From me? Us?” Beomgyu’s voice cracked.
You didn’t want to say that. You needed a break for yourself…to try and make sense of all this. You lost your lifelines, your anchors. “For me.” 
“Why?” The smallest movement he made towards you made you flinch. At the sight of your recoil, he retreated. “I won’t hurt you, you know?” 
How could you know? He never was the way he was last week before. What if it happens again? 
“Am I bad for you?” you asked, the words coming out before you can fully process what you said. “I mean, did I make you do that? Did I make you hit Soobin?” 
Beomgyu’s jaw dropped, his eyes wide. “No, no, not at all.” 
You could tell he was going to say something next, but you didn’t want to hear excuses or lies. “Because, if I did make you do…that, maybe we’re not meant to be. Maybe I’m like…a dark essence for you, or like…some toxic parasite!” 
“You make me better!” Beomgyu jumped in, now grasping onto your hands for his dear life as if your hands healed all wounds. “That was jealousy and anger and rage at Ki-Hoon, never never at you.” 
“Then why don’t you apologise?” 
Beomgyu shook his head. “It’s too late for that.” 
“It’s never too late.” 
“But it is,” he interjected. “Soobin has a crush on you. Forget what Ki-Hoon said, I know he did. Even as we started dating, you spent more time with him than me. It’s fair that I assumed that-” 
“Assumed I was cheating on you?” 
Beomgyu shook his head, “Assumed he was trying to take you away from me.” 
In all honesty, Beomgyu had no clue what came over him that day. It was like his eyes were foggy with dark clouds as deep whispers ran through his brain. Deep and husky, the voice wasn’t his own. Sounding like it bounced off the inside of his brain, echoing throughout, it wasn’t like any other thought he had. The voice seemed to have awoken the moment he got angry. 
To this day, Beomgyu is worried that seeing Soobin will only make that anger return. And with that anger came the voice. 
“Gyu-” With you using his nickname, Beomgyu felt a little piece of the fear of losing you chip away.
“Y/N,” he responded, now pulling your hands closer to his chest. His eyes pierced yours. You felt sincerity radiate from him; regret and adoration, fear and loss, guilt and most importantly - as much as you refuse to say this word until you mean it more than platonically- love. The feeling of his heartbeat through your palms was calming. “I adore you. And I know what I did was wrong, and I can't be more sorry. I want to apologise to Soobin, don’t get me wrong. I just…am not ready for it.” Every word felt heavy with truth. In another life, you may be doubting his words - but something about how you’re feeling lets you know you don’t have to be wary of him. “But, I am ready for you. I've always been ready for you.” 
His eyes were full of childlike honesty, yet the way he searched your eyes was as if trying to discover a new constellation in them. “I want to say I’m ready to be with you too, but what if it happens again?” 
“It won’t.” Beomgyu assured you, his hands now sliding to rest on his hips. A brief silence washed over you two; both of you staring into each other’s eyes as if they were sailboats during a stormy sea. “I first started to notice these feelings when we were eleven. Remember when I fell and hurt my ankle?” 
You nodded, rolling your eyes at the memory. It was something dumb. Long story short, the boys were trying out jousting and Beomgyu didn’t notice something that would scare the horse. Instead of lunging forward towards Soobin, he fell onto the ground - landing straight onto his ankle. 
“When you stayed by my side until the school apothecary came and told me just to walk it off. I remember how you fought them, saying to call your mom, because your mom knows best…that was the moment I realised I liked you more than a friend.” 
“But I wasn't overreacting!” At the mention of the memory, you were transported back. “Your ankle was literally swollen and bent and you couldn’t just walk it off!” Beomgyu chuckled; his thumb stroking the back of your hand as he smiled down at you. Your eyes lit up as you spoke angrily, the concern for an event that happened years ago evident on your face like it happened yesterday. 
His small giggle took you away from your anger and you immediately looked at your feet. One of his hands went to rest against your jaw - your hand going to lean into its warmth. “I don’t want to rush you. You take your time,” he sighed, “but I’ll wait for you. I’ve been waiting since I was eleven. I’d wait for a thousand lifetimes.” 
Your heart felt like it was beating wildly; growing in size. The distance between his face and yours soon became noticeable. You knew he said he’d wait…but you wanted to spend every moment until your last with him. The hesitance that you once felt succumbed to the warmth behind his words, the sincerity in his eyes. “I adore you.” You smiled, before closing the distance. 
When Beomgyu told his parents of the first kiss you two shared, he omitted the fight. 
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“Wait, Yeonjun’s back?” Your boyfriend double-takes, making you follow his line of sight. Indeed, Yeonjun was there; truly looking like he’s from the city now. His previous discontent for spending time with the festival’s patrons could no longer be found. He seemed to be in his element; a glass of mead in his hand as he spoke to an elderly couple like they were….well, like they were you. 
Part of you was certain that he’d return. In that respect, you hoped you’d be among the first to know; that he’d come by, freshly off the carriage, and knock on your door. He probably has bigger worries, you resigned as you thought of all he must be up to in university. You wonder if he’s eaten today or if he found people he felt at home with. Maybe he even forgot about us. 
Of course, you weren’t surprised by his new affinity for people. From what you’ve heard from your parents, he’s in the top of his classes -  being called a ‘legendary student’, even the ‘it boy’. It was evident in how Mayor Choi would tell you updates as you would deliver his items; he never seemed as proud as he was now. 
Although at a distance, the city boy in him shone. He has built more muscle during his time away, and his usual colourful wardrobe has become darker. It’s what you’d imagine his father would wear if he was younger. Nevertheless, he looked fashionable. Yeonjun’s hair was now shorter; the bangs had a centre parting. You swear you could also see dangling earrings. He looks great. More confident. 
“Wow…” Beomgyu appeared to also be in awe of the change in front of him. “Do you think that’d suit me too?” He turned back to look at you again, his fingers pinching at his ear lobe. 
You smiled, imagining Beomgyu with piercings and immediately mentally fawned over the sight. “You’d look so good.” If you were still close, you were certain that Beomgyu would’ve followed Yeonjun and gotten the same piercings - maybe even more. Kai and Tae would be reluctant, but Taehyun would eventually get some. Soobin too. 
“Would you adore me more?” he teased, dragging you out of the fantasy. 
Falling forward, you let your forehead rest against his - interlocking your fingers. “I adore you too much already.” 
“That’s good,” Beomgyu smirked, “but I adore you more than you could ever adore me.” You rolled your eyes. Cheesy. If past-you saw yourself now, you were certain you’d cringe. “I’d burn the town down for you.” Groaning, you pulled away again - slapping Beomgyu’s shoulder. 
“You’re too extreme!” You laughed, making him chuckle as well. He looked at you with so much adoration; there was no doubt about that. Even as he fiddled with your fingers, his eyes gleamed as he looked at you and laughed. 
You were ignorant to the pair of eyes locked in on you two.
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Within the crowds of people, you saw a blur of two people running around; chasing each other, laughing. The laughter was so familiar, you can identify it in seconds. It’s the same laugh that brought home to you when you felt mountains away. 
Soobin. 
Truly, it was a war against yourself. You didn’t want to look up, you didn’t want to be reminded of him - but it was an impossible feat. Yet his smile and happiness was so enchanting; you wanted to look. Even if it wasn’t you who was making him feel that way. 
After a month or two from the fight, you quickly noticed that Soobin had replaced you. The first time you noticed this was during one of your delivery runs; you entered the bakery and instead of Mrs. Choi, you saw another girl. When you first laid eyes on her, you found her stunning.
“Hi, hello…” you greeted softly, unsure if she was working at the bakery. Since Beomgyu has expressed disappointment in you spending time with Soobin, your visits to the bakery were rushed or planned to coincide for when Soobin was not there. “Is Mrs. Choi here?” 
The girl smiled gleefully; a smile that was so contagious you wanted to smile back. “Oh, no! She’s not, but I’m here. What is this?” It was clear this girl was new to town; not only from the fact you’ve never seen her before, but also the fact she didn’t know you were the milk deliverer. You quite literally go to everyone’s house. 
“Uh, it’s milk.” You lifted the crate in your hands up, “I come by every week with dairy products.” She continued to smile, despite your awkward disposition. 
She nodded and wiped her hands down on the apron. “Oh! Yes, sorry. Mrs. Choi told me to expect you.” The girl who stole your breath away stuck her arm out to you, “My name is Arin. I moved to Hybehead last week.”
You nodded, lifting your leg up to support the crate as your hand went to shake hers. “Y/N. Welcome around! How are you finding everything?” 
Arin let out a sigh of relief. “I’m just so blessed for Soobin. Do you know him?” 
How do I answer that? You know his obsession with bread and how he’d wink before biting his tongue when he wanted to act cute. You know how he chews in a permanent pout and how he shivers with his whole body when he eats something he dislikes. You remember how when he thinks, he rests his cheek into his palm; letting his cheeks bunch up. You remember how soft his cheeks were, and how comforting his presence was. You -
You looked up and Arin was waiting for your answer…and for the products. Placing the crate onto the counter, you copied her action from earlier and rubbed your hands on your long skirt. “Oh, uh, yeah.” You didn’t want to elaborate. 
“He’s really a saving grace, you know.” Arin spoke about him dreamily. “He immediately started to show me around and he showed me this beautiful spot in the forest and-” Whatever she said next was filtered out. The forest? Your spot? 
The air suddenly felt heavier. As you breath, it felt like you were swallowing oatmeal. “Oh, I have to go. It’s really lovely meeting you, Arin.”
At your sudden interruption, she looked confused; but the ever present gracious smile remained. She waved goodbye and thanked you. 
And you had to wonder if you ever mattered there.
From general gossip around town, you learnt Arin is a younger friend of Soobin’s older sister back from her days at university in the city. Specifically, Arin is the younger sister of her best friend. She came to Hybehead due to an invitation and ever since, stayed at the inn near the bakery for a little while. It was now common to see Soobin with her around town. 
Sitting with Beomgyu, your eyes were trained on Soobin and Arin. In the last year, Soobin had a humongous growth spurt - something that made him stand out as he wandered around the school halls (however, the same can be said about all of them; they all became giants). From afar, you could see Soobin’s hand graze Arin’s elbow gently, bringing it downwards. You couldn’t help but remember a few years back. 
 “Ready?” Soobin asked, his hand resting on your hip as you loaded the bow. 
“I’m not sure.” After a few hours of training now, Soobin was confident you could hit an apple from 20 metres away. 
He leaned forward from behind you, popping his head over your shoulder to make eye contact. You turned your head and he was millimetres away, but his eyes remained focused on yours. His grin was contagious, making you smile back at him - despite the fear of hitting a wandering animal overtaking you. “I believe in you.” 
The two of you stayed like that for a second; embracing the comfortable silence. 
“Take your stance.” Soobin instructed, coughing as he pulled away from his position. The hand that was previously on your waist was now checking your elbow, while his other hand wrapped around your hand that was gripping onto the bow for dear life. “See, already perfect.” His breath hit the back of your neck. “Now shoot!” 
And you did. 
Bullseye.
Well…ish. Obviously, a few hours wouldn’t have prepared you enough for this small target - but you chipped a significant portion of the apple off. 
“You did it!” Soobin exclaimed as the both of you jumped, his arms wrapping around your waist to spin you in circles as you laughed.
The memory felt like ages ago. It was from the time before Ki-Hoon entered your life. The ghost of Soobin’s memory disappeared; the invisible weight resting on your hand like it did that day. Your eyes lingered, and part of you felt guilty as Beomgyu continued to rant about something he saw earlier. Normally, you’d be so invested in his story; but you can’t stop staring at Soobin. 
It seemed like he could feel it. 
He looked up and caught your eye.
And then he looked away. 
No wave or nod; no acknowledgement of existence. 
If you weren’t you, you would’ve thought he merely locked eyes with a stranger. 
“Let’s go?” You tore your eyes away from his fleeing frame and saw your gorgeous boyfriend in front of you. He was staring up at the lanterns in the trees. Pressing your lips against his, the electric feeling awoke you from within.
Beomgyu’s doe eyes made their appearance, “Where?” 
“Our spot.” Flashes of the past slapped you in the face; the unwanted memories that once suffocated you pushed aside. It’s just me and Beomgyu now, you thought, until the end of the world. 
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When Soobin made eye contact with you, it felt like the archery game was using his heart as the target. He wanted nothing more than to go over to you and talk about life, or invite you back to the bakery. Seeing you in love without him hurt him more than he could describe. Yet, Beomgyu seemed to be treating you well now. He saw how Beomgyu would pick you up after school or how from outside the bakery window, he’d occasionally see you two share kisses. 
“What are you looking at?” Arin sang, skipping back to Soobin who had stopped in his tracks. With a reply of a shrug, Arin already knew the answer. “Ah, I see.” In the last year of knowing Soobin, Arin had seen him as a blessing. In Arin’s heart, she wanted to do anything to alleviate Soobin’s pain for all that he’s done for her. Yet, she had no clue how. 
When she first came to Hybehead with the recommendation from Soobin’s sister, it was due to an incident that happened in their town. Specifically, a few days before her unplanned departure, the man who appeared to be in charge of the city’s rumour mill, caught her with her lover. While Bae Yoo-bin wasn’t identified herself (both of them were grateful for the fact he only saw the back of her head), everyone soon learnt of Arin’s ‘perverse’ preferences. To stop being harassed on the streets, Soobin’s sister recommended Hybehead as her escape; an understanding and quaint town. 
For the first few months, Soobin had watched Arin receive love letters with such excitement. It was a routine; Soobin would collect the mail for the bakery in the early morning as Arin slipped on her apron, ready for the day. He’d hand her the note and watch her tear open the envelope, giddy as she read the words in the letter.
“What’d she say this time?” Soobin inquired, leaning over the counter as Arin now prepares the tables for those eating their baked goods inside. 
“She said she’d come to visit next month.” Anyone can tell how elated Arin was from how her face brightened up the room. Every single customer even asked if there was a special day coming up. She would always answer; “more special than I could say.” 
That visit never happened. A day before her expected arrival, Arin received an invitation from the Bae family accompanied with a private letter from Binnie. I have been arranged to marry, the note said. I wish it were you at the end of the aisle. 
Soobin was there for Arin as she broke down in tears. He provided the comfort Arin swore she could never feel again. To Arin, Soobin saved her life. His family provided her a room to stay now that Soobin’s sister married herself to make sure she wouldn’t be alone. It was Soobin who’d hear her ramble at night, talking and reminiscing - sometimes imagining about the future- of the lover she had lost. 
Needless to say, Arin could relate to Soobin’s predicament - at least a little bit. Being forced to watch the one you love with another can bring upon the most misery; and misery loves company. 
“You’ll find someone else, Soobs.” 
Soobin shook his head. “It’s not just that…” His eyes returned to where he saw you and Beomgyu - but saw the seat empty now. He searched the crowd for you now, his hand went to play with the woven bracelet gifted to him a year ago. “I miss her and everyone and all of them. It’s not even that I want to be the one she thinks of all the time, it’s more that I want to hold her hand again - even just as friends.”
The older girl did a single curt nod, now focusing her vision on the ground. “And you’re scared?” 
Arin didn’t see my bruises, he remembered. He had a few bruises from Beomgyu’s sheer force. “I’m scared that I’ll mess things up again.” Ever since the fight, Soobin had retreated from friendships at school. It was a blessing when Arin came to Hybehead. She became his closest and only friend. When he’d be feeling lonely, Arin was always there to spend time with him. 
It’d be lying to say that Soobin has had a peaceful night of sleep since the fight. At night, questions of what if haunts his sleep. What if I had told you before Beomgyu did? What if I confessed? What if he never went in for a hug? Would you all still be friends? What if I never had feelings for Y/N? 
It doesn’t matter for much longer. Soobin will be graduating this year. He had decided to pursue culinary  business studies in Beliftham. It’ll be lonely being without Arin around, but he plans to just leave early in the morning and arrive home by the evening. Spending his days away from Hybehead ensures he won’t run into the two of you. 
He understands that Beomgyu was graduating the next year, but he was fairly certain that Beomgyu and you’d study at the local university and move in together. Thanks to his parents, he hears almost daily updates about all of you. He knows Taehyun has now progressed to be a leader of the Hye-Ji society and is projected to graduate at the top of his class. Kai, supposedly, has specifically excelled in learning other languages and is supposed to go on a trip during school break with the Mayor to help him translate. And when it comes to you and Beomgyu, he tunes out. His last update was that you two were looking for a small cottage to live in already.  
“I was a coward, right?” Arin could barely hear Soobin’s voice. “I made a mistake. That kid was right.” 
“What kid?” she immediately jumped in, as if the kid posed an immediate threat. Soobin waved it off. Afterall, it was last year and he was speaking the truth. “What kid?” Arin’s voice got harsher, as if she was going to kill someone right then and there. 
He decided to summarise what Ki-hoon had said. After all, these are the words that curse his every action. It’s the reason he’s too much of a coward to talk to his friends, to talk to Kai and Taehyun, to talk to you, to try and confront Beomgyu again. “Just a kid who said I’m not good enou-” 
Arin interrupted him. “No, never believe that. Never.” A light slap went to his wrist, “Soobin, you’re literally like a fallen angel. You are one of the best people I’ve ever met. I bet your friends can say the same.”
Then why am I not enough? Soobin wanted to ask, but instead he remained silent. In an attempt to change the discussion, he looked around for another activity for the two of them to do. Doing so, he spotted you and Beomgyu heading in the direction of the forest. 
“Let’s go sit down for a bit,” Soobin proposed, using a smile as a disguise. 
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Four years later.
Returning to Hybehead at this time of year felt odd, Yeonjun had decided. A town that was so usually full of life suddenly felt cold and empty. Maybe it’s because of the time, Yeonjun had accidentally left three hours later than he was planning to. Consequently, once he arrived in Hybehead for the first time in four years, the first thing that greeted him was the comforting night sky. 
His lack of return over the last three years was a result of spotting the five of his friends dispersed in the crowd during his last Harvest Festival, still avoiding each other like the day he left. 
(Admittedly, it was considered blasphemous that he didn’t attend the next three Harvest Festivals - but when nothing happened to the crops, they decided only those relatives living in town are needed in attendance). 
It transported him back to it all. He distracted himself by networking and connecting with the older locals, doing everything he once hated but now loved - but the image of his family still broken up by a dumb boy destroyed his vision of home. Remembering the pain and anguish, he decided that he wouldn't come home until he finished college and was mentally healed. 
While he completed his course, he wasn’t certain about his last criteria.
In front of him was his new home; a small one bedroom cottage on the border of the town. It was a gift from his father; ‘an investment’. To Yeonjun, however, it was a sign of trust and a new life. Maybe now, I can finally fulfil my father’s footsteps, he hoped, at least to some degree. 
Jumping off the carriage, taking out his final crate, he thanked the rider and paid him his dues. Wiping his hands on his pants, he appreciated his new home. His father was supposed to welcome him in, but Yeonjun did mess up on his departure time and his father had to go into Beliftham early the next day. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Immediately, he envisioned another life;
“I can’t believe you have that many boxes.” Taehyun would say, stifling his laugh as he unpacked his own room in their five-bedroom cottage. 
You would go around the corner, Beomgyu following close behind as you two found the entrance to your room. “What else were you expecting?” 
Kai would be in the other room, already having completed unpacking and now posing hypothetical situations to the group - keeping them entertained. “What if we had superpowers?” 
Soobin would scoff, tossing his final box to the side before walking to Kai’s room. “Been there, done that.” 
Beomgyu would playfully imitate Soobin’s serious voice, before immediately turning the attention back to Yeonjun. “Hey Kai! You should really use super strength to help the elderly!”
He remembers the last time he’s heard updates on all of you guys. Kai and Taehyun had finished school last week, both of them a whole semester early so they eagerly await the official graduation ceremony later this year. Soobin is in his last year of university, although he still resides in Hybehead. Meanwhile, you and Beomgyu are living with each other and attending the local school. Maybe I can reach out, he decided, we can all talk again. He dreamt of better days with you all; a dream that seems to have been mocking him for when he was at university. 
Opening the door - a portable candle in his hand, he spotted a few gifts by the front door. At the sight of them, he knew whose each was from. From his parents, bottles of soju. Soobin’s parents obviously provided the loaves of bread while yours gave a basket of fruits and vegetables. A woven blanket was gifted by Kai’s parents, while Taehyun’s parents left a series of books about the best leaders in history with a note saying ‘you’ll be in one of these soon enough’. On top of it all, Beomgyu’s parents left a large medal with a note from his parents engraved into it. 
While their children may have fallen apart, the parents remain united by a core similarity; their love for the six of you. To them, from all the time you spent together growing up, they saw everyone as one of their own. 
He looked around and smiled. This will be my home. These halls were made for new memories, a new life. Each wall was empty, reminding him of all the new things he could put up. Maybe I can start by putting up my diploma, he smiled. For the future, he hopes the walls will be covered like his childhood home; photos of family and loved ones, his future childrens’ drawings, and paintings of his accomplishments scattered until there’s barely any wall space. 
But that’s for tomorrow morning. Far too tired from his day-trip, all he wanted to do was lie down on his bed - one that he knew he already had from his father’s letter. Trudging forward, he admittedly got confused between the bathroom door and the bedroom; but once he saw his bed, he didn’t even strip down to change into pyjamas - he fell stomach first onto the bed (after putting the candle on the bedside table, of course). If his mother saw him do that, she’d be very disappointed; bringing all the dirt from outside to his place of sleep, but he could wash it tomorrow. 
Turning around to lie down on his back, he blew out the candle and let himself succumb to the sleep inducing darkness. The soft thumps of rain hitting the window accompanied by the melody of crickets was the only sounds he could -
Wait. 
Why was he hearing footsteps? 
Pit-pat, pit-pat. 
Yeonjun jumped up, desperately trying to reach for a match for his candle. I didn’t unpack. When he turned to face the source of the sound, he didn’t even need the light. The full moon from the window illuminated the back of the presence. 
With its haunting blue and green eyes, Yeonjun’s heart stopped. The cat left years ago. It makes no sense for him to be in there. The door was closed, nothing was open. He sat in silence, just staring at the cat who watched him back; sitting on the window sill as its tail sinisterly went back and forth, casting shadows around his room. 
“How…did you get in here?” he asked, knowing full well the cat couldn’t answer. 
Yet it did. 
The cat responded with a hiss, before jumping out the window. 
And for some reason, Yeonjun felt compelled to follow it.
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“Did you realise…” you started, trailing off as you stared at the full moon illuminating your room from your bed. The full moon today felt especially hypnotising, as if there was a message that would appear the longer you stare at it. 
“What?” Beomgyu sat down next to you on the bed, pulling your back into his chest - anchoring you back to the present. “What’s on your mind?” His voice was heavy with exhaustion, a consequence of spending the whole day working alongside his father. Nevertheless, the kisses he pressed against your shoulder were light and feathery, as if you were fragile and about to break. It greatly contrasted from the calluses on his hand that rested on your shoulders, rough to the touch from all the hours he spends at the shop. 
You closed your eyes, relishing in his kisses. “It’s been six years since that night.” Reaching up, your hand went to grasp and fidget with your necklace. Your friend group may have broken the promise of forever, but you would never break this one. You were certain all of you wouldn’t. 
Mrs. Ho still hasn’t cracked the code to get the design out in her store. She was an intelligent woman, but as she told you one day; ‘I cannot make magic’. Her comment made you remember the conversation after that night. 
 “This has to be a coincidence,” Taehyun swore. 
“Bro-” Kai was gobsmacked, “we woke up with literal fantasy novel stuff, how else can you explain it? It has to be magic.” At the mention of magic, Yeonjun started to chuckle. “No, seriously though. Soobin, Taehyun - you also have older siblings, did they experience this?”
“Maybe it’s a delusion.” Taehyun simply shrugged. “Maybe we all imagined it.” 
Soobin, playing advocate for Kai, jumped in. “But our parents also saw it, like, they couldn’t have been deluded.” 
Beomgyu cut in, “Let’s listen to Kai and Soobin, they might be onto something.” You looked at Beomgyu, whose eyes had a glint to them. He has since confirmed that he was just entertaining the idea, although he doesn’t believe it - he isn’t opposed to them. 
“I mean,” Soobin shyly glanced around, “I don’t believe it, but hey - maybe.” He was stuttering, tripping over his words. “We have faced a lot of impossible things in the span of 24 hours so maybe magic could be real.” 
Kai took over once more, “All I’m saying is this cannot be explained by science, so something has to have done it.” 
“Let’s just say,” Yeonjun said, “it’s something weird and unexplainable.” He looked around at everyone - not wanting to start an argument or get too into the discussion. “We finally got rid of it, so let’s forget about it.” 
You had to stop yourself from chuckling.
(“It’s not magic,” you then told her. “Someone in another town did this, and I know for sure that they aren’t the best jeweller the world has ever seen.” Mrs. Ho raised a sceptical brow. “I know that because the best jeweller is here, right in front of me.”) 
Your boyfriend’s feathery kisses continued, although more spaced out as he spoke up. “Wow.” It was obvious he wasn’t as affected by that fact as you. Six years have gone by so fast. 
Staying in silence, you turned your head. Beomgyu responded to your movement by scooting backwards, giving you space to turn and face him. Once you did, you looked up at Beomgyu’s heavy eyelids and chuckled. “Let’s go to sleep, bear.” 
Eventually, you found yourself asleep - tucked under his arm. Unfortunately, Beomgyu now remains awake. 
The exhaustion that plagued his movements earlier now dissipated into the wind.
Your head was resting against his chest, moving up and down with his unsteady breath. That was the only thing keeping him calm; the fact you were there. You were in his arms, fast asleep, safe and sound. 
Something in the atmosphere felt heavy as if it had just finished raining, yet the dark clouds remained. While he managed to suppress how he was feeling earlier, the fact it has been six years since the event actually struck him quite deep. In all honesty, he wasn’t even sure why he hid the deep coil rumbling in his stomach. Alert, he had a feeling something was going to go wrong today. He felt it in his gut. 
His arms quickly went to tighten around your shoulders, encouraging you to unconsciously nuzzle into his chest more. You’re here, he reminded himself, and you’re not going to go anywhere tonight. 
For the last few weeks, Beomgyu has been working more closely with his father - especially as he decided to omit from partaking in full-time studies since he already has a secure job position. In this, he’s been hearing a lot of his father’s conversations. 
“I always thought it’d be all of them together.” Mr. Choi had commented. Soobin, Beomgyu, and your fathers stood away from the bench where Beomgyu was currently occupied. Unknowingly to them, they’re still quite in ear shot. “I can’t believe you were right though. I was certain it’d be Soobin and Y/N.” 
Beomgyu’s jaw clenched. You said he was insane for thinking Soobin had a crush on you. Were you lying to him? Did you enjoy having Soobin’s affection? 
Continuing to work on the new sword, he focused on the sparks flying from the metal rather than the anger sparking from within. “Soobin was quite in love with her, huh?” 
Mr. Choi chuckled, “Completely. I still think he loves her today.” Beomgyu tried to push himself away from their conversation, remembering what you’d always tell him. 
Variations of ‘I chose you’, ‘you won’t lose me’, ‘I’ll give you my everything’ - everything you ever told him was no longer enough. For the last week, it feels like everything he does is wrong or not enough for you. 
You were this beautiful woman. Why did you choose him? Excelling in healing, you could go anywhere and be with anyone. What did he do to deserve you, other than grow up with you? The answers you gave him, well…Beomgyu can’t help but wonder if it can be applied to Soobin as well. 
Beomgyu’s father laughed, “Why do you say that?” 
“I swear I see Soobin watching out for deliveries or waiting for someone to show up.” 
Your father chipped in, “I didn’t realise my daughter was such a heartbreaker.” 
Will you break his heart? What would he do without you by his side? 
Since he overheard that conversation, his thoughts have been more intrusive and invasive by day. When he sees you smile, he wonders who else could make you smile like that. Could Soobin make you smile wider?
 Admittedly, he’s trying to be more than enough for you; making food for when you come home, cleaning the house up, buying you a series of flowers everyday (leading to the pansies currently in the vase downstairs) but nothing he does ever feels enough. Soobin would do more. 
It’s no one’s fault but his own; his own insecurities eating up at him despite your constant and unwavering love for him. 
With the reminder that it's been six years, he remembers how it was Soobin who had held your hand. It was Soobin who you spent so many afternoons with, just the two of you. Part of him knew he couldn’t be too angry; you two weren’t dating yet, and the only person who knew of Beomgyu’s feelings was Kai. Yet that part was easily silenced by the fact that you and Soobin, despite you and Beomgyu dating, spent so much time together before the fight. From after school bakery shifts to consistently having lunch periods synced up, was it the universe telling Beomgyu it should be you and Soobin? Or was Soobin betraying him? 
Beomgyu startled forwards, sitting and heaving with anxiety. Frequently, Beomgyu would turn to you in times like this and you’d say the same reassurances that would make his heart flutter. But he couldn’t wake you up. He had a feeling Soobin wouldn’t out of respect for you, so why would he? 
He reluctantly removed his arms from around you. As much as he wanted nothing more than to have you in his arms until the world was ablaze, he needed to calm down. Tossing on a random jacket, he went downstairs to get a breath of fresh air. He didn’t want to risk you being annoyed or frustrated with his neediness (as if that could happen), so he was willing to face the brave night time wind. 
Instead, as soon as he opened his front door, he spotted a figure only a few feet away. Staring at the door, it appeared to be waiting for him. 
“What are you doing here?” Beomgyu cooed, wondering if the black cat in front of him was in need of food or water. “Do you need anything?” 
Of course, the cat didn’t respond. To be honest, the only features that Beomgyu could identify in the dark of the night was the black tail that wrapped around the empty air, and its mixed-colored eyes.  Wait…how common are these mixed-colored eyes? This couldn’t possibly be the same cat as from high school. 
Searching his brain for some facts that Taehyun must’ve given him about the prevalence of heterochromia, especially when Ki-Hoo…no, Beomgyu came out here to stop thinking about this all. He’d rather live in blissful ignorance than rehash out those experiences. 
Yet the two eyes that bore into Beomgyu’s suddenly disappeared, and the only proof a cat was there was the trail of paw prints that was slowly appearing in front of him. 
Beomgyu really wanted to go back to you, give you kisses, and fall asleep surrounding you. He wanted to wake up in the morning to your face, to your voice, to your giggles - heck, even to your complaints about waking up. 
Yet the footprints appeared to be calling for him. He didn’t know what he was doing or where he was going, it felt like his body was moving automatically - like a puppet being controlled by a ventriloquist. 
All he knew was that he was heading in the direction of the forest, following the paw prints that quickly vanished in the wind. 
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Beomgyu. 
An ethereal voice seemed to fly through the wind, swirling around you - jostling you awake. Trembling and shivering an unusual amount, you felt cold to the bone. It must be the wind, you decided - your eyes landing on the culprit; your open window. 
It was odd though; it was never this cold. 
Closing your eyes, you reach your arm out to try and nuzzle your head into Beomgyu’s che- wait. 
As your hand touched the side of his bed, your fingers felt like ice. Meeting an empty side of the bed, your eyes went wide open. Almost as if it was magic, the moonlight took up Beomgyu’s absence. “Beomgyu?” Still heavy with sleep, you called for Beomgyu. “Beomgyu!” You threw your blanket off, your volume increasing as you woke up.
The wind whispers into your ear, ‘the forest’. You must be delusional. I’m tired, you reasoned, that’s why I’m hearing things. Beomgyu probably just got something to eat. Wandering around your small two-storey cottage, you looked everywhere for Beomgyu. Peeking in and out of every one of your few rooms, you have yet to find your boyfriend. 
It was when you saw his shoes, that are usually right next to yours, missing that you had admitted Beomgyu’s gone. Where could he be? He must be outside, getting a breath of air. Right? Beomgyu is an intelligent person; he wouldn’t have started exploring at night…right?
“The forest,” the wind whispers around as the moonlight seems to focus on a path in front of you, “go to the forest.” You don’t know what made you listen; the forest? At this time of night? However, the voice urged you forward - why else would you be thinking of the forest? 
Slipping on your own shoes and a jacket, you started to rush into the cold night. Even with the harsh winds, your worry for Beomgyu warmed you from the core. You knew the route to the forest like the back of the hand, however, you were unsure if this knowledge made the path more obvious or if the moon seemed to be lighting your way. 
Why didn’t Beomgyu wake me up? You thought as you navigate your way through the trees, blindly following the path in front of you. Over the last few weeks, Beomgyu had been waking up at night - sitting and staring straight out the window as if awoken by something just outside. He’d always dismiss it - ‘just a nightmare’ - but you always woke up and brought him back to bed. If a nightmare spooked him, why didn’t he wake you up? You would rather him do that than go into the forest alone at night. 
The leaves bristled from the wind, now finally alerting you of the shiver that is crawling up and down your spine. You pulled your jacket closer to your chest as you looked for any clue of Beomgyu in the dark night. 
“Y/N?” A voice broke through the darkness. You turned around. 
“Soobin?” Admittedly, you’ve seen Soobin around yet every time you laid eyes on him, you cannot deny that growing up did him well. “Taehyun?” Taehyun, instead of being the scrawny sixteen year old, is now eighteen - just graduated school. He had more muscles than you would’ve predicted him to get now. “Kai?” At the mention of his name, the now ginormous boy came over to you - wrapping his arms around you tightly. 
Finally calming down, your heart began to beat at its regular pace. “What are you doing here?” Kai asked, glancing around as if someone was listening. 
“I think Beomgyu came out here.” Soobin visibly tensed at the name of someone who used to be his best friend. 
Taehyun shook his head, “Something feels weird…like, not right.” Kai finally released you from his grasp, and the concern washed over the four of you. 
You were in front of a basically uninhabited forest. Around midnight. 
Sure, you camped here before - but you were prepared then. You had the materials and you had planned to be there at that time. 
The next gust of wind caused a branch to hit the ground. 
Everyone jumped. 
You found yourself clutching onto Soobin and Kai’s arms, as if it was like old times. Behind Soobin, Taehyun had accompanied you - also holding onto Soobin like a shield. 
After a second, the contact with Soobin burned your skin. Pulling apart, you glanced at the three boys before your eyes fixated on Soobin. “Why are you guys here?” 
Soobin didn’t answer, refusing to look you in the eye. Instead, Taehyun spoke up. “We all heard something. We bumped into each other on the way here.” 
“Come in,” a voice waltzed through the wind, waltzing into your thoughts. 
You looked back at the boys. “Did you hear that too?” They didn’t need to speak for them to confirm that they indeed did. It was their pale faces, a stricken expression that gave it all away. Even amongst the bustling of the trees and the crickets staking their claim, you could hear their teeth chattering. 
“They need you,” the voice sounded like liquidised silver; ethereal and heavenly as if not from this earth. “Come into the forest.” Whose they? Is it not just Beomgyu?
No one dared to move - no one even flinched. The air felt heavy, as if someone was pressing down on the atmosphere surrounding you - as if someone was taking the air out of your lungs. 
What felt like minutes passed, and Kai finally took a step forward. “I think they need us.” 
Wordlessly, Taehyun followed. Soobin started to take a step forward, but glanced backwards and saw you hesitate. Just like he used to, he held his arm out for you to take and it didn’t take you long to accept his support. 
It’s fine, you thought, Beomgyu is going to be fine. Instinctively, you walked faster - trying to be closer to Soobin. Despite the years apart, he still brought you the same amount of comfort as before. If Beomgyu wasn’t fine, I’d feel it - you were certain of it. 
The trek through the forest filled you with dread as you tried to fill yourself with hope, the silence only reminding you of the severity of the situation. You looked at the night sky - no stars in sight, and you were grateful that Soobin held onto your hand like his life depended on it.
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The light broke through the darkness and among the still trees, your eyes landed upon Beomgyu. He wasn’t alone. At a closer glance, you recognized the person beside him to be Yeonjun. The two of them appeared to be frozen, standing at the edge of the clearing and staring as if they were hypnotised to whatever was in front of them. 
They didn’t even acknowledge the four of you when you approached, standing in line to see what they were seeing. Beomgyu didn’t even interlock his fingers with yours as you grabbed his hand. He didn’t even hold your hand back. 
In the midst of it all was a man. Right in the centre, the gusts of wind that seemed to leave the trees untouched circled him. His shadows seemed to suffocate his actual figure; bigger than what could ever be expected from the moon above him. 
“Finally.” He was curt. “You all came.” His voice seemed to surround you; echoing off the trees, travelling into town, and all the way back until it entered your ears and resonated throughout your brain. “Welcome to the new day.” 
Taehyun was the first to notice the eyes of the man in front of you. “Are you…” It couldn’t be…he’s too old. Why would he come back anyway? But it was like Taehyun knew something that all your eyes deceived you. “Ki-Hoon?”
A short, yet cocky snort followed, and suddenly he was walking towards you. Yet, he seemed stuck in his little barrier - as if restrained. So, he remained walking in small circles. His every footstep seemed to be a float or a glide in the air. “I guess you could say that.”  
At the vague confirmation, Soobin shivered. Beomgyu’s eyes narrowed. Yeonjun glared. Kai appeared lost. Taehyun stared in wonder. 
“I guess I go by many names.” He started to approach Taehyun now, “Ki-young, Ki-Chul, Ki-Hoon - but you can call me Ki.” If this Ki guy was noticing your odd glances at each other, he didn’t dare comment on it.
He couldn’t be. Ki-young was a man of legend, Ki-Chul was quite literally the reason for the dark ages. Ki-hoon, well, he was your age - and this man would be no less than 30 years old. 
“But, I guess I also go by a lot of faces,” he continued, now gliding over back to your end of the line. “A cat, a child, a man - but most importantly, I am a protector.” He locked his eyes with you. “A deity.” 
While four of the six of you were glancing back at each other as if ensuring you were all confused by this nonsense, Taehyun was trying to remember where he recognized him from - a store? Beliftham? A dream? 
On the other hand, Yeonjun was deeply unsettled. Something about him screamed at Yeonjun - something about him needing to run away, to hide - to disappear. It was unsettling, a shiver running up and down his skin as if spiders were crawling underneath. 
Ki smiled, the moonlight adding a sinister light. “The deity of chaos and order. I am what keeps the world in balance, I am what causes change, I am the power that the world needs.” He now stood in place, dead centre, yet the light that once was blinding now started to dim as shadows swallowed Ki. “I am the most powerful being in the universe now. The deities before had abandoned the humans, left them behind to fend for themselves.” His voice seemed to be distorted, more and more as he spoke. Deeper and louder, booming as if they were the same source as your own thoughts - he seemed to possess you. 
“I am fed by the belief of others, by disruption, by chaos, by change.” Dark mist started to appear, surrounding his feet. “I am the most powerful and infinite being in this world.” His eyes locked on Soobin. And then you. And then Beomgyu. And then all the way to Yeonjun. “And you all have the potential to be the same.” 
Yeonjun scoffed, unable to hide it. Taehyun, however, struggled to contain his laughter. While he may have previously ignored the strange looks shared between you all, Ki definitely didn’t appreciate the scoff. 
Easily angered, Ki continued. “The world has gone on too long without their deities, and look at it…Look at you.” His voice echoed throughout your brain. “You’re all so weak. The world is so weak! All because everyone stopped believing. There is an infinite amount of magic just at your fingertips.” 
Beomgyu jumped in, cynically. “How do you have powers if people stopped believing?” 
Taehyun also took advantage of Ki’s pause. “Magic doesn’t exist. What are you on about?”
Ignoring Beomgyu’s comment, Ki answered in his own way. In a flash of light, the man in front of you became the same boy that haunted your final years of school. Just like he was back then, he didn’t age a day. Was this all a trick of light? 
“Look at you all…” Ki-hoon…or Ki, or whoever he was…now escaped his little barrier - circling the six of you. “The six of you are among the most powerful in the world,” his eyes landed on Yeonjun, “especially you.” As he approached the eldest, Yeonjun physically tensed. 
Me? 
“Such a shame I have to call you my nephew.” Another flash of light and instead of Ki-Hoon, there was a black cat - one blue eye, one green. The same stray as before. The silence screamed. All you could hear was the paws of whatever was in front of you, digging into the wet mud, and returning to the spot in the centre of the clearing. 
When Yeonjun could finally trust his own voice, he spoke up. “Who even are you? What do you want from us?” 
Ki returned back to his previous form, however the dark mist rose from his feet to surround him as if a new layer of clothes. “I am Ki. Weren’t you listening earlier?” He cackled. “Your father was my brother.” 
“Was?” Yeonjun was quick to interject. His father is an only child. 
“Oh, Jum. Deity of Balance and Justice.” The man in front of you rolled his eyes. You can hear the venomous drip from his lips, as if mentioning the name was poisonous. “They don’t matter any more. They gave up on you, gave up on everyone.” He held his chin up high. “But you can stand in their place.” 
“Us?” Soobin asked. Each word that left your mouths were questions, completely and utterly dumbfounded by what was going on in front of you. For Kai, there was only one thought running through his mind; run. 
“I spent a lifetime looking for you all.” Ki smiled, now approaching you. His slender fingers reached out, grabbing the necklace you kept safely tucked under your shirt. “But when you took this off…you let me find you.” 
You shivered under his dark gaze and cold touch. It felt like ice. “That doesn’t answer the question. What do you even want from us?” You tried to move, but you felt frozen in place - as if the ground below you was quicksand and you couldn’t escape. As quicksand does, you try to sink into yourself - trying to take up as little space as possible as Ki breathed in your close proximity. 
“There’s a promise of a new world. One you can lead.” He watched all of you under a careful gaze as he backed up. “Humans cannot survive without us.” 
“Us?” 
He smirked. “You really don’t realise?” Glancing at Taehyun, he clicked his tongue. “I’d expect you to know already. Maybe through your dreams. Just like how I am certain you knew today would be coming.” 
And it was true. 
In his dreams, Taehyun saw flashes of the dark forest. He saw the same blue and green eyes. Interrupted with images of a sandstorm, of a cat, of Ki-hoon; he saw all of this coming in small incomprehensible flashes. 
“The son of Hye-Ji.” Ki smiled up at the sky, as if reminiscing past experiences. “The deity of knowledge and wisdom. Prided herself on foresight.” 
He glanced now at Soobin. “And you? The son of Won-Shik. Always so gentle. Of course, how else would the deity of love and family be?” 
Kai was his next target. “Oh and you look so much like your mother. Aera.” He approached Kai now, reaching forwards - his hand resting on Kai’s cheek in mock understanding. “Deity of youth, freedom, and luck. I can give you all the freedom you want. In this new world we’ll create together.” 
He turned to stare at you now, approaching slowly. “Kwang’s daughter.” Shaking his head slowly, he now stood in front of you. The dark mist that followed him was haunting him, following his every move. “The deity of humanity, of nature. A healer. It wasn’t a surprise to see you following in his footsteps.” 
And when his eyes landed on Beomgyu, it looked like he hit the jackpot. “And for our new world, for this world we can lead - you are essential.” Beomgyu’s eyes went from his feet to the man in front of him, staring straight into Ki’s mischievous eyes. “Your mother? Gi? She had the power to create and destroy anything, even different worlds.” 
“What do you mean destroy worlds?” Yeonjun jumped in. “What exactly do we have to do for this new world of yours?” 
Ki chuckled darkly. “We have to destroy this world first.” 
Silence filled the world. Even the gusts that now rustle the leaves went silent. 
It was clear he didn’t like this response. Maybe even expecting you all to burst with excitement. “I can turn you all into Gods. You could help your fellow man, you could-” 
In the corner of your eye, something flew towards Ki’s head - interrupting his monologue - and landed on the ground. A rock. No, no - not even a rock. A pebble. 
“If you were a God, why couldn’t you dodge that?” Kai defied. 
Ki rolled his eyes. “Throw another one then.” 
Kai looked taken aback, and like always, Taehyun appeared to be able to read his mind. “No, but then you’d expect it.” 
The three of them seemed to start to bicker; Kai and Taehyun versus Ki. Ki was arguing for them to let him continue speaking and he won’t know when they will throw, but Kai and Taehyun keep saying that he’s expecting it now; he’s overly cautious and-
“Enough!” Yeonjun commanded everyone, halting the bickering between the two young boys and… a thousand year old deity?  “Why should we believe you? Why should we listen? Why should we help?” 
It was clear he was becoming more and more annoyed. Ki rolled his eyes before growling. “You think I can’t give you power? I’ll show you real power.” Suddenly, the dark mist that accumulated around him seemed to build up - covering the whole forest with smog. “I’ll show you who you can be.”
As the dark mist built, the clouds above darkened - blocking out the midnight light. Lightning flashes in the distance, the world around you darkening. A rumble seemed to bellow from both the world below and the sky above. 
Suddenly, Yeonjun lunged forwards and tackled the grown man onto the ground. “Go!” he yelled, “Run home! Keep yourselves safe!” 
Your hand tightened around Beomgyu’s, squeezing and trying to nudge him to go with the others. “Go, Gyu!” you called. “I’ll get Yeonjun!” 
“Not you!” Beomgyu screamed over the increasingly louder winds that seemed to whistle into your ears. “You, you go home.” He glanced around, his eyes widening in fear. In the tornado that formed, Beomgyu’s hair was flying everywhere. “Leave with Soobin! I need you alive. I’ll help Yeonjun!” 
Before you could even protest, Beomgyu disappeared into the dark grey winds. You couldn’t hear your own voice as you called for him, the winds deafening you even from your own heartbroken wail. You wanted him to be safe. Not just outside the safety of the eye of the storm. You wanted both Beomgyu and Yeonjun to be safe. 
Yet, now…the dark mist became more compact. It seemed to make the outline of a person, rising and increasing in size every second. Amongst the whistle of the winds, you could hear Beomgyu and Yeonjun break through. 
“Leave!” they called. “We’ll find you later!” 
Later? 
If later can even be promised. 
Suddenly, the dark mist flew off of Ki’s body - launching whatever surrounded him several feet away. The wave of whatever that mist can be called…maybe energy…pushed everything back, as if another layer of gravity to fight through. 
“Leave?” Ki darkly chuckled, now floating in the air as the remnants of whatever energy he used surrounded you in clouds of dark smoke that left you all blind. He was larger now; light surrounding him. Dark black mist with what appears to be concentrated lightning flickers started to flood by your feet, as the wind made the trees sound like the ocean waves. “You want to leave?” 
You turned around, trying to find Beomgyu and Yeonjun among the clouds of smoke. Kai’s hand was still wrapped around your wrist, trying to tug you away. “They’ll make it out,” you know he’d say. But you didn’t want to risk their safety. 
“Okay. I’ll let you leave.” 
Wind started to surround you all, and the four of you immediately had to abandon your spot waiting for the other two. Instead, you now are holding onto the trees for your dear lives. 
You were the first to scream, “What’s happening?” 
“Do you really think we can fight someone with magic without magic?” Taehyun asked, his voice strained as he screamed over the hurricane. 
Through the clouds of dust, you could see Kai motioning for you to take off the necklaces.  
“Hello!” Soobin yelled. “We don’t even know how to use them!” 
Kai shrugged, “Trial and error!” 
“And error means death?!” You were genuinely in disbelief. But to be fair, you could die without trying anything at all as well. 
“How will being blind help?” Taehyun argued, snipping back as the wind became even stronger. Stress was overcoming you all. Is this the last time we’ll see each other? you thought. Will Beomgyu and Yeonjun make it out alive? How about Soobin? Or Kai and Taehyun? How much have I wanted to say that remains unsaid?
The wind became even stronger, which seemed impossible seconds ago. Leaves from the trees and soil overcome your view, being dragged around by the winds that are forcing you to plant your feet in the ground. 
You started to feel dizzy, hazy. Vision becoming unclear, your body starts to feel like it’s being drained of all its strength. Melting into the dirt, sinking into the ground - you felt yourself succumb to the land. “Now is a great time to find out!” 
And you were no longer there. 
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You’re in the forest. 
Well, the forest without Ki. And your friends. 
Instead, you were alone…with a wolf. 
A snow white wolf appeared in front of you; as bright as the moon above. With its icy blue eyes and pointy teeth, you should be scared but a sense of overwhelming calmness took over instead. You can trust it. 
Thoughts that you couldn’t be certain were yours started taking over. As you crouched down and laid out your arms, letting the unknown wolf approach you on its own terms, the world around you started to change. 
The moment the snout of the wolf touched your hand, trees started sprouting from the ground. Within that instant, the magnetic blue eyes widened and started to turn away - only to turn back and motion to you to follow them. 
You didn’t know what else to do, so you did. 
You followed the wolf miles and miles as the trees around you built in an instant and immediately toppled in on themselves. You followed the wolf as if it grew up and knew the incoming labyrinth like muscle memory. 
Endless turns and small trips, you fell onto your knees - the mud adding weight to your shoes as you felt like you sunk into yourself. The white wolf, who despite the mud has remained clean, came up to you. 
“Run,” you heaved, letting the mud below you take over. 
Yet the wolf didn’t run. 
Instead, it howled at the moon. 
‘This is the end…’ you heard through the swift whispers of the wind. ‘You must not fall so easily.’ 
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A single tree surrounded by a dark abyss of water. 
Taehyun was hanging onto a single branch, suspended over black liquid of an unknown depth looking like an endless pit that would swallow him whole. If he were to let go, the height of the tree alone would certainly kill him. 
Black ravens flew in circles above him, as if warning him of what's to come. Ravens mean death, Taehyun remembered and immediately felt gutted. The ravens cawed above him, echoing off each other. It was an endless loop of mockery. Let go, they taunted, you will have to let go. 
He tightened his grip on the ragged branch, ignoring the blistering and breaking of his skin. Taehyun resisted. No, he thought, I cannot let go. 
As if the world was out to get him, the tree started to shake violently like it was directly on a fault line. The birds, however, remained still. Their soulless stares seemed to send him a message; someone is going to die. 
Suddenly, the branch cracked. 
Taehyun held his breath. For a second, it felt like he was suspended in air - falling slowly into the deep dark unknown. He was helpless now. 
And without even a splash, the black water absorbed him. He was left blind, the water too dark to have any light - to allow any vision. 
‘Do not worry’, he heard a voice call out from above as he continued to sink. ‘You will have your sight.’
And as he fell through the tides of the unknown liquid, he felt himself disappear into smaller pieces; breaking away.  
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Burning flooded Soobin’s senses. 
His throat felt dry while his lungs heaved. 
The world around him was ablaze, full of passionate fire. Surrounded by concrete pillars slowly burning to ash, the sky was a dark red as if the fire set the blue sky ablaze. Soobin recognized the place; it was the abandoned church. However, it looked like it was only built yesterday - despite the flames overtaking the marble columns and its ash falling like snow onto the ground. 
Tucked away in the corner, behind the debris, was a single wooden horse - rocking slowly with the wind. As Soobin observed it, a sharp pain filled his chest. 
Burning, Soobin’s necklace begged to be removed, scorching the skin underneath. Yet Soobin thought about the last time he removed it, remembering the ears that sprouted from his head. 
He couldn’t take it off. 
He promised you all. 
So instead, he took the chain and lifted it up - holding the marble inches away from his face. What used to be an opaque jewel was now see-through, revealing the flames that were on the other side. However, something caught his attention. 
A shadowed child-like figure sat on the horse - moving it back and forth. It radiated fear, loneliness.  
“Who are you?” Soobin’s rasped. “Why are you here?” 
Soobin started to move forward, sprinting; but, suddenly he crashed to the floor, debris accumulating at his feet. The sky snowed ash. Beneath him, the necklace shattered into pieces. Laughter rippled throughout the endless sky. 
‘We were never ashamed of you.’ Whispers from the ash that enveloped him in an almost warm hug. ‘You just had to figure it out yourselves first.’
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Thousands of duplicates stared back at him as Kai looked through a vortex of mirrors. Trapped in a hallway, he couldn’t escape the menacing looks playing on his reflection’s face. 
The world above and beneath was pitch black. If he wasn’t standing, he would be certain that he was floating - that there was no ground here. 
Between his reflections and himself seemed to be a panel of glass. Words started to appear, random words and numbers that made no sense whatsoever seemed to be scribbled on by an invisible hand.
9.75, Dae, Kwang, Aera, Gi, Key, Liber, 5.53, Shin-geom. Words and numbers with no obvious relevance to him appeared to be written on the reflections quicker than Kai could even process. All in different texts, until he sees your names. In black writing; Huening Kai, Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu, and Kang Taehyun. In red? Yeonjun and your name. 
Suddenly, the reflection in front of him smirked. It reached forward, going through the glass as if it wasn’t there, and ripped off his necklace. The wings he had as a child appeared, almost immediately, and they were bigger than he could imagine. 
Were these wings always growing? 
His reflection ran away, and all the others did too. Compelled, Kai chased after the necklace thief - falling into the different mirrors. Running through the shattered glass, he felt no pain. The glass didn’t shatter nor cut his skin. He ran and ran, not feeling any recoil from the thousands of glasses he sprinted through. 
And then suddenly, his reflection disappeared. 
And he lost his footing.
And the ground he once swore he stood on never existed. 
‘It’ll all be clear soon’, he heard through the darkness. ‘You will make it clear.’
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Sand was never something Yeonjun enjoyed. It got stuck everywhere.
Yeonjun, for sure, can contest that now. Walking up the dunes, he fought every time that his feet ducked under the sand. He fought the urge to let the sand take him over. 
Not only was the sand pulling him down, but it was blurring his vision. The harsh desert dunes were ravaged by the strong winds, lacing the granules into its path and throwing it everywhere; his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his throat. 
Guiding him throughout the maze was a pair of cat foot prints, disappearing and fading away every few seconds. The world trembled. Amongst the sound of the winds, he heard two whispers. Both with conflicting messages.
He’s unclear who the voices were talking to. Was it him or were they talking to each other? Were they warnings? Are they even real? Or is this all an illusion? 
Ki’s voice was clear. ‘This can be the beginning of our new nation’, his voice echoed.
The other voice was unfamiliar, yet so familiar at the same time. It was dainty, ethereal. As if a feather floating on the wind, it felt soft - yet there was an underlying power to it. 
‘Find the spear.’
Given that Ki led him here (and he would rather trust his darkest secret with his mother, who actively partakes in the town’s gossip, than listen to anything Ki says), Yeonjun chose to listen to the unidentified female voice instead. He couldn’t trust Ki’s voice. Never. He swore that he would never trust anything that could remotely remind him of Ki again. The argument returned; Yeonjun’s head aching as each of them yelled over each other. 
The sun was blazing and his feet ached,yet he followed the paw prints - trying to ignore the raging pain from his mind. He hoped that it was the female voice guiding him to the tool that he can only assume will be his saviour out of this place. With the wild winds, each step was a process. Every step he’d take required him to plant his feet deep into the sand, having to try and anchor himself to the ground. 
Suddenly, he found a spear stabbed into the middle of the land in front of him. At the sight, the ache and exhaustion he felt disappeared. Sprinting down the dune, he allowed himself to trip and fall over the sliding sand. Once he hit the plane, he made his way toward the weapon. 
The spear was a stunning silver; gleaming under the blaring sun. Any uncomfortable sensation of sweat that had accumulated on his back, nape, and forehead was worth it. 
‘Take the spear’, the female voice temporarily overpowered Ki’s, ‘you have the power to lead the way. You always have.’
It was when Yeonjun grabbed the spear that his mind became clear of the argument between the two entities. It was when his fingers clasped around the smooth metal that he felt power overfill him. He felt capable. It felt like everything was possible. 
A gurgling noise filled the world, shaking the ground as the sand started to rumble. If it weren’t for the spear in his grasp, Yeonjun would have been petrified. Instead, he turned to the source of the sound and lifted the spear with a surge of confidence. In the distance, he spotted a sand storm. 
However, it wasn’t a usual sand storm. Instead, in the middle of it all was a cat’s head with sharp teeth made out of sand, approaching him at an incredible speed. 
He didn’t even have enough time to process it when the spear went through, causing the sand to explode all around him. The spear fell to the ground. Though the sand filled his vision and he became blind to everything around him, he at least thought that he was out of harm’s way.
Until he felt an intense sensation across his neck and he was filled with shock.
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Resounding throughout the dark cave, droplets of water dripped from the rock ceiling to the floor. The small drops piled up, creating puddles. Beomgyu must be careful not to slip. 
When he found himself here moments ago, he was lost and confused. He desperately searched for you, trying to ensure you were safe. It was when he got no response that he believed he was in the afterlife. 
And then suddenly, he heard your voice. 
Like a distant memory, your voice was faded - as if you were trying to crawl up from the depths of the cave. And like a machine, his feet ventured deeper into the cave, trying to get to you. 
He needed to get to you. 
Following through, watching out for every crack or crevice, he was at the end of the cave. It was a dead end, and you were nowhere in sight. Instead, in front of him was a closed blue box - simple with silver corners. Something about it called out to him, as if you were in that box - as if the answer to being with you and ensuring your safety was in that box.  
His fingers trembled as he reached forward and turned the key that was already in the lock. Once the box was opened, his heart stopped. 
Instead of a mirror, he saw some sort of…projection? It was like a painting made of light, yet three dimensional. If he stuck his hand out towards it, it would go right through. In this deception of light coming from the centre of the box, he saw you and Yeonjun. 
Dead. 
Surrounded by fire, the two of you were resting in flowers. 
The fear Beomgyu was feeling felt indescribable. He immediately was concerned for your safety. Is this what’s happening beyond the afterlife? Did Y/N die too? Will I see her here? How can I save her life? In his eyes, you had so much left to do - so much good left to give in the world. Yes, he’d want to spend the rest of his life with you and he wished he had more time, but he couldn’t handle it if your time was cut short too. 
What happened to you? He started thinking about what could’ve possibly occurred for you to be dead. Why didn’t the others protect you?
The image in front of him changed. Instead, this time he saw you with a ring on your wedding finger.  A ring so majestic it couldn’t have possibly been from this time. He’s seen nothing like it before. Despite the limited image, he knows it wasn’t a ring he gave you despite the bones of it looking the same. It was the same band as the one he had gifted you, so it must be the same. However, why does he get the feeling it wasn’t from him? 
It must be from Soobin. Anger filled him. It was Soobin who failed to protect you, but now you get a ring from someone likely to be him? Who else could it be but Soobin? Almost like he was transported back to school, he started shaking with anger. All he wanted to do was punch something, anything. Heck, even anyone. 
Once more, the image changed. Now it was you and Yeonjun, on the dark grey ground, surrounded by pools of blood - as if sustained an injury to the head. What happened? Why do the images keep changing? Why does it not look like this world? 
Whatever it was, Beomgyu started to suspect it was a vision from the future. Why does Y/N keep dying? Why can’t I protect her? Why can’t I protect Yeonjun? Why can’t I protect my friends? He thinks back to his previous anger. Why can’t Soobin protect them? A switch was turned in front of him. He must do something, anything, to protect you.
With his new drive, he felt a presence appear from behind him as the box closed shut. 
“Now you know what will happen.” Beomgyu turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. “What are you going to do about it?” Ki stood there, at the very back of the cave, smirking. From his place, Beomgyu noticed Ki’s fingertips appeared charred - as if rising from the flames. 
The young one shook his head. “This must be an illusion.” He turned away, glancing back at the closed box that haunted him with images of you. What else could be there? Although he refuses to accept Ki’s implication that what the box contained was the future, he couldn’t help but wonder what else it will show? Will he always be in your life? “This is just all a dream. All some sort of manipulation tactic.” 
Ki let out a pitiful sigh as he walked towards Beomgyu. “That’s where you’re wrong.” The charred fingers traced the sides of the box, trailing along as if trying to imprint the memory of the box into his skin. He snorts. “You’re more like me than you realise.” Ki looked up and stared straight through Beomgyu. His single blue eye haunted Beomgyu. “How long do you think until they realise that too?” 
“I am nothing like you!” he protested. 
The deity shook his head. “You have unlimited power at your fingers. You know what would happen now. If you help me, if you help my cause - you can make sure nothing ever happens to your loved ones.” Ki creeped closer, “Save Yeonjun. Save your family. Your friends. Save Y/N.” 
“Even if it was true, I don’t need your help. I have my friends; I have Yeonjun, Taehyun, Kai, Soob-.” 
“Impossible,” Ki scoffed. “You know, I am more than you could ever imagine. We are more than anyone could ever imagine.” He was aware that Beomgyu is still sceptical. Yet Ki could sense his turbulence, the dark matter and confusion and chaos and fear surrounding his target. Ki could literally smell it off of him. “You have the power to create and destroy worlds. You can create a world to protect everyone you’ve ever loved. You’re the son of Gi. The deity of creation and destruction. She was among the most powerful of them all.”  
Beomgyu took a step back. “And why should I trust you?” Overwhelmed, his voice was breathy and trembled. As much as Beomgyu would like to blame the cold of the cave, he felt the fear that resounded throughout his whole body. 
“Why should you trust the truth?” Ki responded sarcastically, reopening the box and turning around. As Ki walked forward, Beomgyu kept his eyes trained on the thousands of images that seemed to flash by. “If you don’t join me, Y/N will inevitably die a horrible death. And you? You won’t be able to stop it.” Once more, Ki turned around to face Beomgyu. “Of course, unless you choose to join me.”  From you in a royal gown to you in raggedy, aged clothes - the box always showed images of you dead. Your death was the only thing consistent. “You have the power to change the world, to protect all of your loved ones. If you don’t take this chance, her blood is on your hands.” 
Beomgyu remained silent, haunted by the images in front of him. He didn’t even notice Ki coming around him. 
“You know Soobin would take this offer in a heartbeat,” Ki whispered in his ear, “Unfortunately, Soobin doesn’t have your abilities. Otherwise, he’d be the best candidate.” 
Words bitter to hear, yet pushed Beomgyu. I am her boyfriend, he thought, I’d be the best person to save her. 
“Regardless, Soobin would still take the chance in the heartbeat - even if it means his ultimate doom. I guess you can’t say the same.” Every word Ki spewed was calculated and precise. “Yet only you and Yeonjun have the power to save her. To save everyone you’ve ever loved. Her death would be because of your weakness.” 
Then suddenly, Ki disappeared into black smoke and the cave started to topple into itself. 
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And suddenly, all of you were back. As soon as you felt yourself return, your legs and body became numb - as if out of your control. They locked underneath you. In fact, it seemed like the boys also felt the same as you all fell onto the floor. 
Nevertheless, you let out a sigh of relief. 
Beside you, you feel Soobin’s presence - his hand grazing yours (although you spotted that like yours - and, well, everyone - his fingers looked as if they were burnt by flames). You hear Taehyun and Kai’s sighs of relief just by you. 
You look up. Through the clearing smog, Beomgyu was there, his head hung low - but there. Yeonjun too - his hand wrapped around his neck as he caught his breath. 
We’re alive, you felt a weight leave your shoulders, we’re all alive. 
Was that all a dream? Everything you’ve seen, everything you’ve experienced - it was impossible. It is impossible. There is no way this is real, the world felt hazy - almost unreal, as if through a daze -
The temporary relief was what it was; temporary. 
“Do you see all the power I hold?” He rose from the smog, hovering above the ground. “I can create worlds. You are capable of the same. Those necklaces you wear?” Ki reaches out and as if the air was magnetised, all your necklaces flew up - levitating in front of you. “They are chains, holding you captive as mere humans - keeping you imprisoned to this mortal coil. Your parents, both biological and adoptive, have always been ashamed of you and your powers.” The smog has now cleared and you looked around, trying to find an escape. 
Unfortunately, you spotted something else. 
Blood. So much blood. 
Yeonjun was injured. What you thought was him trying to catch his breath was instead him holding the wound on his neck. 
“Yeonjun!” you called, although your voice failed you. It was raspy as if you were in a home engulfed with smoke. Yet Ki seemed to hear you, and the others around you did too. Beomgyu, so attuned to you, even heard you from afar and sprinted to Yeonjun’s aid. Kai joined him. You, however, were frozen in place. Soobin and Taehyun remained next to you. 
Taehyun felt his heart skip. Beomgyu too. This is just like the vision told them. To Beomgyu, it only started to confirm his decision. To Taehyun, however, he felt frozen. What can I do? 
From your spot on the other side of the clearing, you shouted directions at Kai and Beomgyu. “Compress the bleeding! Hold something to it! Try and stop the bleeding!” 
“You really think your mediocre mortal medicine knowledge will save him?” Ki snorted. You felt like spiders were crawling up your spine. Smirking, Ki continued. “Let me help you reach your full potential.” He turned to face you, his eyes flickering with mischief. “Y/N.” As if he controlled gravity, he seemed to force you to hover - lifting you centimetres above the ground. “Daughter of Kwang, daughter of humanity and nature. You have the ability to heal. Take off your necklace. You can save Yeonjun.” 
Your feet returned to the ground, and as if possessed, you wrapped your hand around your necklace to take it off. It took everything in your willpower to try and restrain your hand, but it was as if someone else was in control. Fortunately, Soobin’s hand immediately wrapped around yours - stopping you. You looked into his eyes, and it was full of fear and distrust. 
“Y/N, no!” Beomgyu called, now standing up from Yeonjun’s aid. “Kai, come here. Please.” He strained, trying to make sure someone was beside Yeonjun as he went to stop you. 
Ki tsked. “This would have never happened if you joined my cause in the first place.” He puffed out air, smirking mischievously. “You all could’ve been gods but your lack of action condemned yourselves to death.” He made eye contact with all of you, but his eyes rested on Beomgyu’s. “At least, for the rest of you, you still have the chance. You still can become deities.” Ignorant to you, Ki mouthed a silent message to Beomgyu; ‘and save her’ 
The deity’s words still echo in your brain. You could save Yeonjun. With your hand lingering on the necklace. While Soobin’s hand is now gone, your internal debate was obvious to anyone paying attention. 
“Don’t trust him,” Taehyun muttered, still feeling uneasy from the world he was just stuck in. He saw you dead before in his previous dreams and in the world he was trapped in, he saw the signs of death. How could he know you’d be safe? 
At Taehyun’s words, Kai also turned to look at you. Like Yeonjun, your name was in red. Were you next? “Y/N.” He wanted to reach forward, to tear your hand off of the necklace - but he knew leaving Yeonjun’s side would only further endanger him. Your hopeless yet determined eyes met his terrified ones, and he hoped that would dissolve your need to take off your necklace. However, as you looked away, you saw Yeonjun’s copious amount of blood pooling around them - Beomgyu and Kai covered in it. There’s no way he could survive this naturally anymore, you thought. 
Noticing your trained eyes, Beomgyu grunted as he lifted Yeonjun’s almost lifeless body off of his legs. Sprinting to you, he wrapped his arms around you as soon as he was in your vicinity. Through a series of whispered soft protests (‘don’t do it, we could change the world and have him back’), you felt your heart drop. 
Was Beomgyu insinuating that you should join forces with Ki? You stepped back, far enough that you could look him in the face while his arms were still loosely wrapped around yours. Who was in front of you? Your boyfriend was stubborn and loud and nosey. It was hard to convince him to do most things. What happened to him now? You stared at him in shock. Did Beomgyu want to help Ki? What did Ki show him? 
Soobin and Taehyun, however, interrupted your shock and spoke with reason. “It could be a trap. He could be trying to wreak more havoc to increase his own power.” 
“He’s already dying, Y/N,” Taehyun muttered, refusing to look up. “It’s not worth losing the both of you.” As much as he wants to save them both, he doesn’t want to see one more person die. He can only assume the raven’s warning applied to more than just Yeonjun. He trembled with every small movement.  
Regardless of their attempts to stop you, your eyes refused to leave Yeonjun’s form. He was pale, left on the ground. You could easily find some herbs to ease the pain, however, these herbs cannot stop the wound from letting him bleed out. “Taehyun,” you croaked, “find some mandrake roots.” Taehyun didn’t move, waiting to watch your next move. “Now!” 
He’s never heard you scream like that. So he listened. 
Ultimately, you knew Taehyun was right. You knew he was already dying and he was too far gone for your saving. But you needed to try. 
You pushed Beomgyu off of you and shoved Soobin out of the way. 
Beomgyu immediately pushed back, stepping in front of you once more. “This is a fool’s errand!”
You felt rage accumulate in your chest. I can do something, you thought, Ki said I can. The reality that human medicine may not be enough is settling in. Sure, Ki may have proved his character as malicious and untrustworthy - but you study medicine and are considered a prodigy. You wouldn’t consider yourself gullible or weak-willed, so maybe Ki’s solution won’t harm you as much.  Maybe, just maybe, Ki’s solution - with as many harmful side effects that it may include - won’t impact you as much. 
“I can’t just stand here and let one of my best friends die!”
“And I can’t stand here and let the person I love die!” Beomgyu argued back. Soobin immediately stepped back, staring at his feet. The tall boy didn’t know what to do; he was in the crossfires of your argument. It was the first time Soobin had heard Beomgyu say the word love to you, outside of its previous platonic meaning. Obviously, Soobin hadn't heard much of what Beomgyu had said to you as your boyfriend. Hearing Beomgyu confess made the fact you weren’t Soobin’s partner even more evident. 
Beomgyu lowered his voice, now unable to be heard by Soobin. “Please. I can’t lose you. We can make a new world where Yeonjun is alive again. We can recreate all of this. You don’t need to risk your life or waste your time on medicine that will only fail.”
“I don’t want a recreation,” you spat, in disbelief that Beomgyu’s words only continue to imply he wants to join Ki. And he’s doubting your abilities? Yes, part of your subconscious agrees with him - even the most professional doctor in the world couldn’t save Yeonjun now- but only you can admit that. Beomgyu always believed in you, so why not now? “I want Yeonjun. As he is. As he is here, in this world.” 
You glanced at Ki, “Whatever he said or did to you-” Your tone was accusatory, knowing full well this isn’t Beomgyu talking, “-you aren’t the Beomgyu I fell in love with.” You stepped back, ignoring how your heart stung at the sight of Beomgyu with his sad doe eyes and deflated demeanour. 
Escaping from Beomgyu’s proximity, you ran to where Kai is now wrapping a piece of torn cloth from his shirt to Yeonjun’s neck, trying to stop the blood loss. It was already far too much than you could even deal with. The cut went across his carotid artery and jugular vein, that was clear by the fact Yeonjun had yet to speak and struggled to breath. 
You weren’t dumb. After all, you were a prodigy in apothecary studies. In your few years of experience, some people started calling you a miracle worker. But Beomgyu was right, Ki was right, and ultimately - you knew the truth. There was nothing that could be done on the mortal plane to save Yeonjun now. I need a miracle. If Ki was right about you having powers, then maybe he can help. If he was wrong, there would be no further harm done. You’d still lose one of your best friends who is integral in your life. Believing him only had a possibility of saving Yeonjun, right? 
It’s better than having Yeonjun bleed out and die. It’s better than doing nothing. If there is a chance Ki was right, and you were able to save him but you didn’t, you don’t know what you’d do. 
So you admitted defeat and took off your necklace. “What do I do now?” All around you, your friends either showed or spoke their obvious desire for you to put your necklace back on. Kai with his doe eyes, Taehyun with his agape mouth, Soobin and Beomgyu both repeating for you to stop - but you couldn’t care less. You couldn’t let Yeonjun die. 
An evil smirk played along Ki’s lips. “Press your hands against the injury.” 
“Y/N, don’t!” Beomgyu called, now hesitant to step too close to you. You ignored his calls. 
“Now, close your eyes.” You listened to Ki’s instructions. Due to this, you couldn't see the silent plea Beomgyu sent Soobin to stop you. Surely, you’d listen to Soobin - right? If not Beomgyu, Soobin? You always did trust and listened to Soobin as a voice of reason when you guys would all hang out. “Imagine the injury in your brain, picture it.” The feeling of the warm, red liquid leaking onto your hands was one you could never forget; your friend’s blood coated you. “Now repeat what I say.” 
Soobin was too late when he got to you. By the time his hand rested on your shoulders, desperate to pull you onto your feet, you had already been enchanted by the words in a foreign tongue. The words were like a melody from a lullaby, as if this language has been something you’ve always known. It was nothing you have ever heard or read before, yet you didn’t struggle at all with the pronunciation.
Beomgyu’s voice was uncertain, quiet as he turned to Taehyun. “What language is that?” The younger one shook his head, feeling helpless. This is what the vision meant. Taehyun was petrified. He couldn’t lose you two. Chills ran through his body. He wanted to move but he felt frozen. “Taehyun?” 
“I…don’t know.” Those three words were how Beomgyu knew everything was wrong. Taehyun always knew, and if he didn’t, it would come to him naturally as he learned. 
You opened your eyes. Trembling, you felt no control over your body - like you were about to combust. “Why isn’t it working?” you wailed, ignoring the fact that tears are streaming down your face. “Why isn’t Yeonjun awake? He has no pulse!” 
Ki grinned. “You should have helped earlier. If you had just listened to me earlier, he would still be alive” 
“I did listen to you!” you screamed, now standing up on your feet. Tears were falling from your face, it was out of your control now. Everything was. Soobin - who was supporting you - took the chance to hold your hand, instinctively trying to comfort you. His grip was loose, yet you immediately reciprocated, tightening the hold as you continued to yell. “Let me save Yeonjun! Please, I’ll do anything!” Soobin couldn’t ignore the feeling of you trembling. You couldn’t either. It was quite literally like you had embodied an earthquake. 
Almost like a whisper in your ear, you heard a voice. It’s too late, Ki’s whisper felt turbulent - as if you just caught the whiff of poison. You already took more than you can handle. 
And just like that, your throat became dry. The ability to speak seemed to be ripped out of your throat and tossed to the side. What do you mean? you wanted to ask, but you couldn’t. And before you knew it, the world faded to black. 
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When your body collapsed onto Soobin’s lap, he thought it was just exhaustion. The other boys may have rushed forward to check on you as soon as you fell, but they also assumed it was just exhaustion - a temporary spell. Maybe Ki sent you back to the other dimension. Was this what we were like when we were there? 
But when Beomgyu pressed his hand against your heart and felt no pulse, he felt his stomach drop. It wasn’t exhaustion. Your head still remaining in Soobin’s lap, Beomgyu kneeled beside you - pressing his lips to yours and breathed into your mouth. He swore you taught him how to resuscitate someone before. Resting his hands on your heart, pressing up and down, he tried everything he could. 
Soobin felt frozen in place. Your hand was still locked in his. The cold metal on your finger seemed to match the temperature of your body. You’re gone. What a weird sight. Someone who used to be his whole world is dead, in his arms. His other best friend is next to him, surrounded by his own blood. Hell, the blood on your fingers had left its mark on his own hand. I never got to say what I wanted to tell her, he thought, I never told her I loved her. We never had one last good day, one last proper goodbye. He sees Beomgyu desperately pounding at your chest. His heart burned for him. Based off the tears blurring Beomgyu’s eyes and his agonizing shrieks (ones Soobin is too shocked to even let out), Soobin can tell he is going to forget about the ring on your finger. He would want it, Soobin decided before slipping off the ring, I’ll give it to him later. 
On the other hand, Taehyun felt depleted. He had an idea this was going to happen, why couldn’t he stop it? Why did he let Ki into their lives in the first place? Would this have happened if he never introduced Ki-Hoon to them? Endless regrets hit Taehyun like a tidal wave, blowing him over as he struggled to come up for air. Now, he’s surrounded by the blood of his best friends and is left filled with regret and guilt. 
Kai, however, took over for Beomgyu and kept pushing on your chest. If I could start her heart again, he was determined, she could live. She didn’t lose blood. She could live. He pushed and pushed, trying all that he could to just get you to blink, to breathe, to call him an idiot, to do something again. 
“Your effort is truly commendable.” Ki’s voice echoed throughout the land, breaking through the silent shock that overwhelmed the four boys. “But you should stop before you get even more hurt.” 
Kai stopped beating at your chest, halting his efforts. “What did you do?” he croaked. From his limited time in listening to you talk about what you learnt about the human body with you, he knew body temperature didn’t decrease that fast naturally. Your skin doesn’t lose colour that fast when you die, especially when there wasn’t any blood leaking. “What happened?” 
“She didn’t understand how to use her powers,” Ki said simply, as if it was the most basic knowledge in the world. “The magic was too draining. It depleted her and Yeonjun. It was too big of a job to do on the first try. That is why you need to work with me, that is why we need a new world. You can restart, you can become masters of your crafts, you can save your friends.”
Beomgyu stood up, his eyes dark and face red. “What you said earlier.” He was resolute; that was something clear to all of them. Taehyun looked up at him in worry. What is Beomgyu going to do? “I’ll join you. If you promise the lives of my loved ones will be safe.” 
Soobin was slow to react. “What he said earlier?” 
“You said I could save her.” Beomgyu stood tall now, almost as if trying to be bigger than Ki. “You said I could save them. Let me.” Ki raised his eyebrow, eyeing Beomgyu. “I’ll join you.”
Ki grinned and motioned for Beomgyu to come forward. 
“Beomgyu, no,” Taehyun and Kai quickly interjected. “Y/N wouldn’t want you too.” 
Beomgyu turned to them, his eyes turned into slits as he glared. “You don’t know what she would have wanted! You weren’t with her for the last five years! She’s dead. She would have wanted to be alive. At least, in another world - she’d be alive to tell us!” 
Pure unfiltered rage for the people he felt abandoned by for the last five years took over him. If they were truly his and your friends, they would’ve still reached out over the last five years. They would care more now. They would accept Ki’s offer. They abandoned you, and they’re abandoning you now. 
“Any other takers?” Ki grinned, already having obtained one of the two key people he needed. He lost the other, but he can make do. 
“Never,” Kai growled. 
“You don’t see the value of me, the value of our roles,” Ki sighed patronisingly, as if he had explained the most simplest concept a hundred times already. “Why would deities exist in the first place? We are the protectors of humans. By not joining me, you are abandoning them.” 
“I don’t think the world would want you,” Taehyun spat. 
Ki rolled his eyes and turned around, facing away from them all. “They may not want me, but they need me.” 
As Ki started on his departure with Beomgyu in tow, the whole forest engulfed in flames. The four of them were surrounded by fire, trapped in the centre, underneath the cold midnight moon that only reminded them of two things. 
They’re alone. 
And they don’t know what’s going to happen next. 
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Most of what is left around them is ash. 
The trees still stand tall, but the grass is charred.  A circle of ash surrounds them as they sit next to your corpses. 
It was now morning again. The sky was an orange, placing a layer of false comfort as the hue dawned on all of them, embracing them all in its warmth. Nevertheless, they still felt cold. Soobin wishes he was asleep and that he will wake up to find it was all a dream. It needs to be, he begged no one in particular. 
“A pansy,” Taehyun commented through a cracked voice, a tear dripping down his face as he watched Soobin place the last flower surrounding the two of your ashen bodies. “It means remembrance.” 
You sighed, running your hand through its petals. “They look fresh. I might bring them with me.” Taehyun chuckles as you admire it, about to turn around and go back to observing the stones. “Wait, Taehyun -” You called, stopping him in his place. Playfully, you handed out one of the flowers. “So you’ll remember me.” 
Taehyun rolled his eyes, chuckling. “As if it’s possible.” Despite his snarkiness, he placed the flower in his bag. “In fact, I want to do the opposite. Now, come on, let’s go closer.” 
I always want to remember you, Taehyun thought - still partially expecting either one of you to move, to speak, to say something. He wanted you to open your eyes and ask him about his cult, or Yeonjun to tease him for his height. He wanted you both to just be alive.
It was Kai’s idea to cover the two of you in flowers. ‘For all the events we missed’, he said - remembering the bouquets they failed to get for each graduation, each birthday, each anniversary. Coincidentally, the usually diverse flowers around you appeared to be only pansies today. Creating a crown for both your heads, they laid your bodies to rest on the dirt; protected with layers of flowers. In a way, the flowers shielded them from the sight of your pale and limp bodies - both lifeless and diminished. The flowers also disguised Yeonjun’s blood that stained Yeonjun’s clothes, your hands, and all of their limbs. 
It was already too much, Soobin commiserated as he held your limp hand in his - wishing that it’ll tighten around his hand like before. His heart felt heavy, impossibly so. He felt grounded into the spot next to you and Yeonjun, unable to move as his heart anchored him in his place. Part of him wishes the ground next to you consumes him so that he’ll be forever by your side.  
With Beomgyu’s betrayal and your deaths, the fear Soobin has for the future was immaculate. Life without you was scary enough, but now life with Beomgyu collaborating with Ki? Soobin knows there’s still more to come. Yet he couldn’t even fathom what could be worse than this.
He feels suspended in time; unsure of what is next. For the past is filled with painful reminders now. For he will no longer be able to experience your laughs and Yeonjun’s support, but the future is filled with uncertainty. What would Beomgyu do? Soobin is already dreading having to tell your parents of your demise. 
Kai was normally never a fan of silence. He would rather sit in a crowded room to study than a silent library. But he took comfort in the silence. If a conversation strikes up, he’s worried he’ll look to you or Yeonjun for your contributions. Yet the silence also was a reminder of your absence. 
“Do you remember when we would be in Yeonjun’s house and he’d tell these stories?” Kai asked through his stuffy nose, ignoring the nausea gnawing away at his stomach. 
Taehyun chuckled, attempting to wipe at his bloodshot eyes to make the tears disappear.  “And Y/N would always be the damsel in distress with Beomgyu as her knight,” he added, smiling sadly at the memory. 
Sure, it may have always been Beomgyu but Soobin doesn’t care. Soobin wanted you. Here. Alive. Even if it means not speaking to you or not being amicable, he wanted you alive. He wanted to see you happy. Even if from afar. 
“Or do you remember her first official bread she made?” Kai added. Soobin couldn’t trust his voice, nor did he feel like talking; his mouth felt dry and his body felt limp. He no longer had control over himself. His head was screaming but his body remained still. 
Mentally, he tried to will your figure to move; tried to will Yeonjun to move. As if his thoughts alone could bring you two back to life, he screamed internally - wake up! Get up! - but each second that passed broke his heart even more. 
Taehyun smiled ruefully. “Don’t forget how Yeonjun immediately messed his bread up.” 
Death is strange. A day ago, Yeonjun had just arrived with his whole future laid out in front of him. A degree in his hand, he was prepared to lead the city to new and better directions. You had just been there, about to finish university. Both of you were there and alive. Now, all that is gone. 
In part, the three of them understood Beomgyu’s decision. Not only did Beomgyu make Ki promise their and their family’s protection, but he wanted to create a world for you two to live in. Yet, the three of them knew that neither of you wanted your lives to be the reason that the rest of the world was destroyed. 
“I wish we were more prepared” Soobin finally spoke up, yet his voice was fragile. His eyes, however, planted itself on your ring resting on the palm of his hand. 
Taehyun looked at the ground. “It’d take a thousand lifetimes to have prepared for that.” 
Suddenly, their visions went white. At the sudden blindness, Taehyun reaches for his necklace, trying to remember if he took it off - it was still there. What is happening? 
Soobin, however, recognized the voice. It was the same voice from years ago. The same voice that awoke him from his slumber, telling him to never take the necklaces off. 
“A thousand lifetimes you’ll get.” 
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