#especially on her idea of self agency

[mollypaup]

wrapping my arms around utena and kozue and nanami and their violent struggle for agency in a violently misogynistic system. babygirls you are doing it so poorly but no one can hold it against you because you are 12 and the game is rigged against you.

#insane about rgu again #nanami is so entrenched in the crab bucket mentality that she thinks she can escape misogyny on a pile of corpses of other girls #and kozue is convinced she can escape it by leveraging her own physical appeal to manipulate the men in her life #and utena is convinced that if she just plays the role just right. if she does it well enough. she can become the system #and make the system good #and they're all so genuine and they're all so frightened and they're all so angry and they're all children #and i love them #rgu #only tangentially related #but anthy is such a good look into the psychological impacts of what feeling like you have no control over your own body has #especially on her idea of self agency #'i thought i was a doll with no feelings' <my beloved daughter i am going to explode akio into a fine mist

[evilwickedme]

It's so clear to me that so many so called "anti Zionists" - especially the non Palestinian goyim - have no idea how the Israeli election system works, and how bibi remains in power, and why we had five elections in like, three years, despite elections supposedly being every four years - because he couldn't keep a government stable enough to stay in power. Bibi netanyahu is MASSIVELY unpopular, and his approval rate has tanked even more since the war started, even among likud voters, the people who vote for HIS party (although their approval rates ranked less than the rest of the population). He has an extreme right wing government because if he didn't cooperate with right wing extremists and haredim he straight up wouldn't have the majority he needs to be our prime minister in the first place. He's been on trial for corruption for years at this point, and tried to completely restructure the judicial system just to avoid prison - leading to nearly a full year of protests until Oct 7. Luckily it didn't end up passing.

If elections were held at any point in the last five months since this war started, not only would he not be PM, we'd straight up have a center-left government. My recent transformation into a Yair Golan stan account is a joke but also 100% real - according to polls from the last three months or so, if he does what he's campaigning to do, leading a combined avoda and meretz party, he'd get enough votes to have an actual influential left wing party in the government for the first time in decades. An unbelievable amount of Israelis are calling for bibi to resign, many of them not calling for it to happen after the war ends, but right now.

I am sourcing this information from polls conducted by channels 11 (kan), 12, and 13, as well as by the Israeli democracy foundation, all but one of our important news channels - channel 14, the last channel, is our equivalent of fox news, and despite their numbers often being extremely different due to what is in my opinion biased reporting and flawed methodology, even they at times have had to admit that gantz is currently leading in the polls.

(Disclaimer that I work for a company that provides subtitles for channel 13, but i do not directly work for channel 13. Channel 13 leans mostly center left, and employs several (self identified) Arab Israelis in front of the camera, including Lucy Aharish, who makes considerable effort to bring Palestinian and Bedouin perspectives to her show. It also employs at least one massive racist though.)

I write this post because I keep seeing an unsourced claim by goyim that there's a poll showing a high rate of approval - 88%! - of the destruction and/or deaths Israel and the IDF are causing in Gaza. I went down a rabbit hole and simply couldn't find a poll asking about approval of deaths or destruction, although maybe I was looking up the wrong keywords? As a result I have just... So many questions. Because with the information I have from trustworthy local news sources, from the news channels I mentioned above and papers such as yediot aharonot/ynet and Haaretz, it doesn't fit with current public opinion, including many recent protests for more efforts towards a ceasefire. So my questions are thus -

Who conducted this poll? Was it a think tank, a government agency, a paper, a news channel? If so, which one? Are they left leaning, right leaning? Was it conducted by an Israeli or foreign institution?

Who did they ask? Was it a sample of likud voters; all Israeli adults; did they include only Jewish Israelis or also Arab citizens (approx. 1.5 million out of our 8 million population), Bedouins, and other minorities?

When was the poll conducted? Was it in October, immediately after the Oct 7 massacre, before the death toll in Gaza grew? Was it conducted more recently?

What, exactly, did they ask? Did they ask about destruction in general, or about the death toll in particular? Did they ask about the attempts to rescue hostages with military means, or all military actions? Did they ask about the number of Hamas operatives dead, about their estimated ratio of Hamas to civilians, about the total deaths?

What was the size of the pool surveyed? Was it conducted on a few dozen, a few hundred, or a few thousand people?

Because without this information, that one, sole statistic is essentially useless. As Mark Twain said, there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. Always look at the source and ask: who asked the questions, who got asked, and what the questions were.

More specific statistics and sources under the cut.

I did find one survey by the Israel democracy foundation that asked if the IDF should take the Gazan suffering into account - an entirely different question, although it did still have a horrific 89% Jewish Israelis and 14% Arab Israelis and Palestinian citizens who said they shouldn't. That said, the pool they were drawing from was not very large - 500 of the interviews were conducted in Hebrew, 100 were conducted in Arabic. Also, of the people who supposedly said that they shouldn't, a little more than half of both populations said they should "somewhat" take it into account - that is, they didn't say they shouldn't take it into account at all, just not make it their first priority. This survey was conducted mid December.

In another survey by the same source with a slight larger sample size (a little over 600 Jewish Israelis and a little over 150 Arab Israelis), an insanely low 15% still wanted Bibi to be the PM, with the only candidate who received more than 6.5% being the center candidate Benny Gantz, who historically has tried to cooperate with center and left parties, with a whopping 23% of the votes. The survey included 10 candidates, as well as five other non candidate options. 4% voted "just not Bibi", and an actually insane 30.5% voted they were undecided. Only a quarter of those surveyed believed Bibi would manage to maintain a coalition after the war, a number that includes more extreme right wing voters, and only the ultra Orthodox haredi population had a majority of people (60%) who believed he can. This survey was conducted in January.

The channel 13 news survey from early March - barely over a week ago! - covered more specifically which parties would manage to get into the government and how many seats they would get, as under a certain amount of votes you simply do not get seats. Not all seats get into a coalition. According to their poll, the amount of seats the likud would get is halved, from 32 to 17, while gantz's the state camp would grow from 12 to 39. While currently meretz gets 4 seats and haavodah do not get enough votes to get a seat at the table so to speak, a combined haavodah and meretz under Yair Golan gets 9 mandates. In total, the right wing only get 47 mandates, well short of the amount of mandates necessary to create a government.

Channel 12's corresponding poll from January shows 35 mandates for gantz, and bibi had 18 mandates. Channel 11, in the same month, gave gantz 33 mandates and bibi 20.

I also sources an English Jerusalem post article which reports on channel 14's polls; jpost is a right wing biased paper, and yet even they report 36 mandates for gantz and 18 for bibi as of February.

Sources

The Israel democracy institute: 1 (English), 2 (Hebrew), 3 (Hebrew)

Haaretz: 1 (English) (paywalled)

Channel 13: 1 (Hebrew)

Ma'ariv: 1 (Hebrew) (reporting on channel 12)

Podcast which summarizes the above article: 1 (English) (includes transcript)

Kan 11: 1 (Hebrew)

Jpost: 1 (Hebrew)

#gail speaks #i/p #israel hamas war #jew tag #bibi netanyahu #benny gantz #yair golan posting #yair golan #jumblr

[vaspider]

In defense of retellings & reimaginings

I'm not going to respond to the post that sparked this, because honestly, I don't really feel like getting in an argument, and because it's only vaguely even about the particular story that the other post discussed. The post in question objected to retellings of the Rape of Persephone which changed important elements of the story -- specifically, Persephone's level of agency, whether she was kidnapped, whether she ate seeds out of hunger, and so on. It is permissible, according to this thesis, to 'fill in empty spaces,' but not to change story elements, because 'those were important to the original tellers.' (These are acknowledged paraphrases, and I will launch you into the sun if you nitpick this paragraph.)

I understand why to the person writing that, that perspective is important, and why they -- especially as a self-described devotee of Persephone -- feel like they should proscribe boundaries around the myth. It's a perfectly valid perspective to use when sorting -- for example -- which things you choose to read. If you choose not to read anything which changes the elements which you feel are important, I applaud you.

However, the idea that one should only 'color in missing pieces,' especially when dealing with stories as old, multi-sourced, and fractional as ancient myths, and doing so with the argument that you shouldn't change things because those base elements were important to the people who originally crafted the stories, misses -- in my opinion -- the fundamental reason we tell stories and create myths in the first place.

Forgive me as I get super fucking nerdy about this. I've spent the last several years of my life wrestling with the concept of myths as storytelling devices, universality of myths, and why myths are even important at all as part of writing on something like a dozen books (a bunch of which aren't out yet) for a game centered around mythology. A lot of the stuff I've written has had to wrestle with exactly this concept -- that there is a Sacred Canon which cannot be disrupted, and that any disregard of [specific story elements] is an inexcusable betrayal.

Myths are stories we tell ourselves to understand who we are and what's important to us as individuals, as social groups, and as a society. The elements we utilize or change, those things we choose to include and exclude when telling and retelling a story, tell us what's important to us.

I could sit down and argue over the specific details which change over the -- at minimum -- 1700 years where Persephone/Kore/Proserpina was actively worshiped in Greek and Roman mystery cults, but I actually don't think those variations in specific are very important. What I think is important, however, is both the duration of her cults -- at minimum from 1500 BCE to 200CE -- and the concept that myths are stories we tell ourselves to understand who we are and what's important to us.

The idea that there was one, or even a small handful, of things that were most important to even a large swath of the people who 'originally' told the store of the Rape of Persephone or any other 'foundational' myth of what is broadly considered 'Western Culture,' when those myths were told and retold in active cultic worship for 1700 years... that seems kind of absurd to me on its face. Do we have the same broad cultural values as the original tellers of Beowulf, which is only (heh) between 1k-1.3k years old? How different are our marital traditions, our family traditions, and even our language? We can, at best, make broad statements, and of inclusive necessity, those statements must be broad enough as to lose incredible amounts of specificity. In order to make definitive, specific statements, we must leave out large swaths of the people to whom this story, or any like it, was important.

To move away from the specific story brought up by the poster whose words spun this off, because it really isn't about that story in particular, let's use The Matter of Britain/Arthuriana as our framing for the rest of this discussion. If you ask a random nerd on Tumblr, they'd probably cite a handful of story elements as essential -- though of course which ones they find most essential undoubtedly vary from nerd to nerd -- from the concept that Camelot Always Falls to Gawain and the Green Knight, Percival and the grail, Lancelot and Guinevere...

... but Lancelot/Guinevere and Percival are from Chrétien de Troyes in the 12th century, some ~500 years after Taliesin's first verses. Lancelot doesn't appear as a main character at all before de Troyes, and we can only potentially link him to characters from an 11th century story (Culhwch and Olwen) for which we don't have any extant manuscripts before the 15th century. Gawain's various roles in his numerous appearances are... conflicting characterizations at best.

The point here is not just that 'the things you think are essential parts of the story are not necessarily original,' or that 'there are a lot of different versions of this story over the centuries,' but also 'what you think of as essential is going to come back to that first thesis statement above.' What you find important about The Matter of Britain, and which story elements you think can be altered, filed off or filled in, will depend on what that story needs to tell you about yourself and what's important to you.

Does creating a new incarnation of Arthur in which she is a diasporic lesbian in outer space ruin a story originally about Welsh national identity and chivalric love? Does that disrespect the original stories? How about if Arthur is a 13th century Italian Jew? Does it disrespect the original stories if the author draws deliberate parallels between the seduction of Igerne and the story of David and Bathsheba?

Well. That depends on what's important to you.

Insisting that the core elements of a myth -- whichever elements you believe those to be -- must remain static essentially means 'I want this myth to stagnate and die.' Maybe it's because I am Jewish, and we constantly re-evaluate every word in Torah, over and over again, every single year, or maybe it's because I spend way, way too much time thinking about what's valuable in stories specifically because I write words about these concepts for money, but I don't find these arguments compelling at all, especially not when it comes to core, 'mainstream' mythologies. These are tools in the common toolbox, and everybody has access to them.

More important to me than the idea that these core elements of any given story must remain constant is, to paraphrase Dolly Parton, that a story knows what it is and does it on purpose. Should authors present retellings or reimaginings of the Rape of Persephone or The Matter of Britain which significantly alter historically-known story elements as 'uncovered' myths or present them as 'the real and original' story? Absolutely not. If someone handed me a book in which the new Grail was a limited edition Macklemore Taco Bell Baja Blast cup and told me this comes directly from recently-discovered 6th century writings of Taliesin, I would bonk them on the head with my hardcover The Once & Future King. Of course that's not the case, right?

But the concept of canon, historically, in these foundational myths has not been anything like our concept of canon today. Canon should function like a properly-fitted corset, in that it should support, not constrict, the breath in the story's lungs. If it does otherwise, authors should feel free to discard it in part or in whole.

Concepts of familial duty and the obligation of marriage don't necessarily resonate with modern audiences the way that the concept of self-determination, subversion of unreasonable and unjustified authority, and consent do. That is not what we, as a general society, value now. If the latter values are the values important to the author -- the story that the author needs to tell in order to express who they are individually and culturally and what values are important to them* -- then of course they should retell the story with those changed values. That is the point of myths, and always has been.

Common threads remain -- many of us move away from family support regardless of the consent involved in our relationships, and life can be terrifying when you're suddenly out of the immediate reach and support of your family -- because no matter how different some values are, essential human elements remain in every story. It's scary to be away from your mother for the first time. It's scary to live with someone new, in a new place. It's intimidating to find out that other people think you have a Purpose in life that you need to fulfill. It's hard to negotiate between the needs of your birth family and your chosen family.

None of this, to be clear, is to say that any particular person should feel that they need to read, enjoy, or appreciate any particular retelling, or that it's cool, hip and groovy to misrepresent your reworking of a myth as a 'new secret truth which has always been there.' If you're reworking a myth, be truthful about it, and if somebody told you 'hey did you know that it really -- ' and you ran with that and find out later you were wrong, well, correct the record. It's okay to not want to read or to not enjoy a retelling in which Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere negotiate a triad and live happily ever after; it's not really okay to say 'you can't do that because you changed a story element which I feel is non-negotiable.' It's okay to say 'I don't think this works because -- ' because part of writing a story is that people are going to have opinions on it. It's kind of weird to say 'you're only allowed to color inside these lines.'

That's not true, and it never has been. Greek myths are not from a closed culture. Roman myths are not sacrosanct. There are plenty of stories which outsiders should leave the hell alone, but Greek and Roman myths are simply not on that list. There is just no world in which you can make an argument that the stories of the Greek and Roman Empires are somehow not open season to the entire English-speaking world. They are the public-est of domain.

You don't have to like what people do with it, but that doesn't make people wrong for writing it, and they certainly don't have to color within the lines you or anyone else draws. Critique how they tell the story, but they haven't committed some sort of cultural treachery by telling the stories which are important to them rather than the stories important to someone 2500 years dead.

****

*These are not the only reasons to tell a story and I am not in any way saying that an author is only permitted to retell a story to express their own values. There are as many reasons to tell a story as there are stories, and I don't really think any reason to create fiction is more or less valid than any other. I am discussing, specifically, the concept of myths as conveyors of essential cultural truths.

[katsukikitten]

Izuku doesn't have many vices, mostly because he doesn't allow himself to indulge in any. Thinking them more as nasty habits or stains on his perfect PR record than anything else. Like headaches he'd rather avoid or didn't seem worth the bashing he'd receive from fans and haters online.

But that didn't mean he never indulged.

Especially with the weight of being the number one hero pressing down onto his broad shoulders, pushing him further into his sulking as he drapes himself over the smooth bar top. Half finished handle of liquor under his scarred palm, swirling the last dredges of the clear liquid inside as he thinks about ordering another.

Izuku was only here at this tiny lively bar in the small forgotten prefecture of Tokyo because Kaminari dragged him here. The electric blonde wasn't sure if Izuku had a girlfriend or not, he knew his occasional hero partner to be secretive about his love life which was the opposite of Kaminari who often advertised just how single he was. Denki dragged the hulking hero because Izuku needed to “live a little” and it was “cuffing season.”

Izuku didn't know what that meant.

Googling it is how he finds himself on the brink of a spiral with his perfectly white teeth sinking into the inside of his lip before his tongue laps at the metallic tang that floods his mouth.

It doesn't stop his teeth from sinking into tender flesh, it doesn't stop him from swallowing down more burning booze or sighing loudly.

He just can't stomach the thought of having to face his mother without a date during the holidays again this year. Don't mistake this concern for self pity nor vanity. Izuku is not the type of man who thinks he deserves to have people fawning at his feet, hell the man often grappled with feeling deserving of his given quirk on a daily basis more often than not.

But the way his mother looks when she opens the door, how her big smile drops the slightest when Izuku shows up and no one is there under his arm or holding his hand. Or awkwardly smiling as they meet his mom and Yagi-san for the first time even though they'd been dating for a good long while.

Izuku is just too busy, he doesn't mean to be, tried to board his PTO to take a long hiatus or two from work so he could dote on his partner.

But nothing was ever good enough.

He couldn't face that look of worry or concern from his mother, not again.

It wasn't for lack of trying on Izuku's part either, blind dates arranged by his mother or friends, even the agency! Dating app after dating app leading to dead ends or lack of intimacy leaving Izuku to feel hollow, desperate, enough to seek out other lonely heroes that wanted nothing more than sex.

Still he took everything seriously, maybe too seriously, and things just never worked out.

Yet the hopeless romantic in him never wavered and he thought he had one last shot at love when the hero agency set up an arrangement for a PR girlfriend to keep his ratings high. Izuku did everything in his power to make it work, to try to fall genuinely and deeply in love with the pretty woman who he shared his apartment with. Taking her on dates to places like the movies or to see the Sakura. Fucking her on his couch, in his car, over his dining room table after pushing away the dinner she made.

But each action only made him feel empty, more so than before. There was no spark between them, at least not on his end and Izuku couldn't stomach the idea of leading her on. Especially not when Izuku saw hearts forming in her eyes from more than just sex.

It ended in a mess when she confessed she loved him while straddling his lap and he went soft inside her. Fat tears threatening to fall that he blinks away before she gets up to slap him, he doesn't feel anything.

She breaks her fingers.

Breeching her contract that Izuku buys out when the agency threatens to sue her, the only time the commission head ever saw Izuku's bright emerald eyes narrow and darken.

He doesn't understand why he can't keep anyone around, he begins to think he is the problem.

That maybe his expectations were too high? Maybe he didn't devote enough time? Or maybe he really truly didn't feel anything when he was with any of the men and women he dated in the past save for one.

He expected love to be like the movies and of course Kaachan called him a dumb ass for it. That romantic sappy shit, movies that Izuku and Katsuki had watched curled together on Izuku's couch, “weren't fucking real.”

Only for the blonde traitor to move in with a woman he knew for less than six months when Katsuki kept telling Izuku it was too soon to move in with him despite them secretly fucking for a year and knowing each other all their lives.

Izuku finished the second half of his bottle.

His phone demands attention, chirping from the pocket of his jeans as Kamianri’s laugh echoes over the confined space. Izuku reads the banner on the illuminated glass, the text is from his mother.

Is it just you this year, honey?

Before a second one comes through.

Yagi is asking so we know to put the leaf in. We don't mind when you bring extra company. Kaachan and his girlfriend were a pleasant surprise last year.

But I'll be more than happy to just see my son.

Guilt floods his system, heavy in his chest that it forces a groan from his throat. Idle hand coming to clampe and squeeze harshly at the nape of his neck. Finger shaped bruises forming under thick digits in the hairline of his undercut, his emerald curls doing little to hide it. As the pain ebbs pleasantly down his spine he thinks to pat down his jeans seeking out the familiar rectangular outline before he slides off of the wobbling stool.

Pushing open the heavy door to the secluded alley with ease, mind sharp and feet steady as he looks around. Alcohol never had much effect on him due to his large stature and even larger metabolism leaving him to drink an obscene amount of booze before he felt a pleasant buzz. Tonight he hadn't had nearly enough to ease his shattered heart.

Jagged emerald eyes cut through the alley before he lets the tension in his shoulders release but not enough he'd be off guard. He remembers Stain and his legacy, he knows society still remembers the hero killer too. Knows that most heroes don't necessarily die in action but when they're most vulnerable. Throats slit while they were asleep, fucking, or stepping out into a dark alley in the middle of the night for a smoke.

The thought does little to soothe the aching need in his throat, to feel the burn that could dissolve the lump that sits uncomfortably behind his Adam's apple. Pulling out the half crushed pack of cigarettes and placing one between his lips. Dark orange lighter flickering to life as he rolls over the steel and flint before he takes a deep breath.

Only to instantly regret it.

Stale smoke clots his lungs and coats his tongue, still the acrid taste doesn't stop him from pulling another drag. Mind wandering far beyond where he stood, willing the smoke to smother his hopeless heart.

“Didn't you have a campaign ad against those?” You purr, watching the bulky man tense as his head snaps up to face you.

Izuku hadn't seen anything and his danger sense didn't go off when he surveyed the alley but it does now. A tingling in the soles of his feet as he looks up at you shrouded in the shadow of the neighboring building on the fire escape a foot or so next to his head. You jump down with ease and lean against the rough brick wall next to him. Close enough your elbows touch.

Watching the giant of a man fumble over the stick in his mouth making a cruel smile form on your own.

“Number one hero smoking, tsk tsk, what if I'm an impressionable young lady?” You giggle and it clings to Izuku's skin more than the stale smoke, he scoffs.

“You act as if you don't have a vice.” He glances down at you from the corner of his eye before tilting his head up to blow the smoke away from you.

“Everyone has a vice Mr Deku.” Brandishing your cherry tootsie pop you seemingly pull from thin air. Making a grand show of pocketing the bright red wrapper before popping it past glossy lips, eyes glued to the hero hiding outside the alley of the no name bar.

You imagined he'd be in uptown places, where the silverware was gold plated and a shot of patron was twenty dollars. Not here with the ripped leather seats held together with faded duct tape and cloudy glasses.

But here he stands in black jeans, a gray graphic tee with black sleeves from an undershirt rolled up past his thick forearms, smoking no less. The only expensive thing on him is his watch, it makes your fingers twitch.

You roll the sucker around in your mouth, letting it clink your teeth as you watch him, a harsh line for a mouth that smiled so brightly on the news this morning.

Did all heroes do this? Look pathetic in dark alleyways smoking overly stale cigarettes hoping no one sees them? He looks down at you with a calculated, cold gaze, if you were any other woman it would send a shiver down your spine. Especially from how it contrasts to his normally bright gemstone eyes now they looked clouded, jaded with unspoken emotion.

You think it serves him right, yet still your clawed hands bring out a pack of unopened cigarettes from the pocket of your oversized jacket tilting them towards the hero.

“Take these. Those have gotta be at least a year old. They don't make the packaging with the small warnings anymore.” You crinkle your nose at him, his normally doe like eyes narrow as they rove over you harshly before he quirks his brow.

It's kinda cute how bitchy he looks. You swat away the thought and he thinks he's bothering you with his smoke.

“I thought you didn't smoke.” He moves the stick further away from you.

“I don't. I lifted them off the electric blonde you came with. He's a terrible flirt you know.” Cat smile forming around the lollipop sick in your mouth, watching Izuku's eyes flash in warning, it makes you giggle, “Gonna arrest me?”

“Stealing is wrong.” He stubs out his half smoked cigarette, it disintegrates against the brick from its age and not the pressure he applies.

“So’s lyin.” A smiling retort as you shake the fresh pack at him, “I'll even pick your lucky.”

He looks down at his old ragged emergency pack with only the lucky looking back up at him. Bent and half broken from the argument he had with Katsuki almost a year ago about how Izuku couldn't stomach just sex anymore.

Looking up at you but before he can accept the offer you're already gently patting the pack against your palm, pulling the golden plastic that acts as a guide to take off the wrap from the box. Picking his lucky at random and flipping it upside down before you pass the pack to him. He sighs and takes the box, looks down at the fresh pack and looks back up at you. Sees your smug smile.

“Thanks. Going to black mail me now?” He decides he should have another since his first one was so awful. Pulling the dark orange lighter from his pocket to start a good ember.

“No, I think I've got enough collateral.” Flaunting his expensive, classy watch on your wrist. Well about mid forearm for you, “Secrets safe with me.”

Instinctually his broad palms slaps his wrist where his watch should be, as if he doesn't believe his eyes. Glancing back up at you again wholly expecting you to be already at the mouth of the alley but you stay close to him. Well within arms reach and step closer to him still.

He blows the smoke up into the sky again, keeps the cigarette on the opposite side of you.

“I've got more expensive ones in my apartment.” He comments it almost comes off flirty until you see how sad his emerald eyes look. Izuku wants to ‘be a man', wants to take you home and fuck the brains out of your pretty head but his heart swells in agony, he sighs out more smoke.

“Is this you trying to take me home? Ooo so heroes do have one night stands!” A teasing nudge to his ribs, he doesn't even budge, just moves the burning stick up higher so the smoke won't stick to you.

“I don't do one night stands.”

“Then why invite me to see your expensive watch collection hmm? Tryin to get me to steal your heart instead?”

“Maybe I am.” His gaze flickers to you again, holding your eyes as his lids are at half mast.

Did anyone even know the number one hero could give fuck me eyes?

“Steal my heart, be my girlfriend.” He looks down at you, sees what he registers as panic, “Just through the holidays.”

You blink up at him for a moment as he studies you. Drinks in how those black skinny jeans cling to your thick legs, how the fishnets do little to keep his thoughts pure and that little lingerie you wore as a top had his dick twitching. Left fist clenching when his eyes look over a man's leather jacket on your broad shoulders.

He thought about all the jackets he owned so he could replace the well worn garment on your shoulders with his own.

“I'll pay you.” Taking a long drag, feeling desperation claw up his throat competing with the burn of nicotine, “Pay you a lot more than what that watch is worth.”

The idea of it makes you laugh loudly, the pretty sound echoing around the alley as you grip onto his forearm for stability. He had to be fucking drunk, there was no way he was asking a theif to be his fake girlfriend, what was this a shojo manga?

But when you look up at him and see his freckled cheeks flush with embarrassment you swallow down the rest of your mirth.

“Oh you're serious.” Pulling the cherry sucker from your mouth, letting your lips pop around it lewdly, Izuku watches with close emerald eyes his mind wandering down places it shouldn't, especially not with a woman he's just met. Still thick digits twitch as he tries not to palm himself roughly.

“What the number one hero can't get a girlfriend?” You deadpan and this time it's his turn to laugh except there isn't any joy in it.

“Ha. No. Haven't you heard? I'm too much of a ‘fucking nerd.’ Guess Kaachan was right.” He stubs out his cigarette before pocketing the butt since there was no tray in the back alley.

His admission gives you pause, pressing the cherry confection back on your tongue roughly before you pull it into your mouth taking it from manicured nails. Pushing the sucker to poke out your cheek making Izuku's long lashes flutter.

“Kaachan?’ You giggle, looking up as you move the sucker from one side of your mouth to the other with your tongue. Hard candy clacking against your teeth, “You mean Katsuki? That's Dynamight’s given name right?”

Shit shit shit! He hadn't meant to call him that! How did you figure it out so quickly!

“Oh! Oh please don't say anything!” He looks mortified and you watch his cheeks turn as red as your tongue.

“Don't worry Zuzu. Your secret is safe with me.” Crunching down on the last thin layer before the taste of chocolate coats your tongue swallowing the Tootsie roll and Izuku watches your Adam's apple bob while his mind swirls with dirty thoughts.

Thoughts so dirty he almost misses you add,

“Gonna need bigger pay to keep quiet.” Nails tapping his watch, “Sides can't say I'll be a good girlfriend. I hate everything after Halloween. My birthday included.”

“What? Everyone loves the holidays!” He's shocked you've said that and you shake your head.

“No, everyone with good or whole families love the holidays.” You correct and he looks down at you with a frown. Already you pick up on a habit of his, teeth worrying the inside of his lip as he thinks, “I currently have neither.”

“Oh I'm-”

“Don't. I don't need the mighty hero’s pity.” You scoff, sounding a little jaded before you fix your face, turning to a joke as another smile pulls at your pretty lips, “Not when I can take his money instead.”

“Cute.” He scoffs sarcastically, still he can't deny the flutter in his stomach.

“You're kinda bitchy ya know that?” You smile, “The media makes you out to be Prince Charming.”

“I don't look like Prince Charming?” He gestures to himself and you laugh loudly again. He can't help the heat that creeps up his throat.

“Bet you fuck like Prince Charming too. All vanilla and boring.” Struggling to stifle yet another giggle.

“If you accept the offer to be my girlfriend you can find out if that's true or not.” Quickly his demeanor changes, emerald eyes darkening as they slowly drag up and down your body with a sinful gaze. The sight of him looking down his nose at you makes your stomach clench. You shouldn't be considering his offer now from one intense gaze. A hero and a morally gray person never worked out and it was only a matter of time before your thievery caught up with. You really shouldn't but you know what they say.

Curiosity killed the cat

“Fine. I'll be your little girlfriend til new years. When do we start?”

“Tonight.” He leans close letting his large hand slide down your forearm to your wrist til his fingers are lacing with yours, “It's so late, I really should get you home, shouldn't I baby?”

Emerald eyes sparkling with promise that he planned to devour you whole the second the two of you stepped foot into his penthouse apartment.

“Yes, you should. It is so very late."

“Oh my god IZUKUUUUU fuck fuck fuck!” You scream as you grind onto his handsome face, cumming on his skilled tongue for the umpteenth time in the half an hour you've been in his apartment. Mauve nails around his throat as you choke him slightly, shamelessly riding his face to prolong your high, not that he would dare interrupt it. Groaning loudly under you as he slowly yanks at his fat long cock that leaks with pre. Hungry eyes watching him as you let out another breathy moan.

“Fuck and you've never had a girlfriend before?” he laughs in your cunt at your question. Strong hands coming to lift you off his face with ease so you can hear him better.

“I know I said I was a nerd but I never said I was a virgin.” Before he roughly adjusts you back on his cute freckled face, slurping your clit roughly as mock punishment for interrupting him. Your eyes cross and your thighs squeeze his head.

“Fuck.” You whine and he's rewarded with more of your slick as you cum again, Izuku already decided that he loves how you whine curses for him. Feels you start to slump from the pleasure as your body melts, offering you his hand to support you better as you grind into his face before you can't anymore.

Before this insatiable man lifts you with ease, flipping you onto your back when the needle of the record player hits the center of the vinyl. Pressing you into the dark couch with his pelvis as he wets his cock by grinding into your sticky folds, making you gasp out like he wants before he's gently cradling your throat, slipping his tongue into your open mouth as he groans.

“We taste so good together.” He growls, the sound makes you see stars, especially as his fat cock head nudges against your abused clit. Catching your fluttering entrance and it makes you both shudder before he angles himself properly. Slowly sinking in and watching your face for any signs of pain or displeasure. Watching your eyes roll with each passing moment before he rested against you. Giving slow, rough thrusts that grind down into your clit that have your hands shaking at his back as claws struggle to find purchase in his skin.

“And you're telling me these girls didn't stay for the dick either? Fuck Izuku!!!!” Arching your back, if you weren't careful you'd become addicted to him, your question makes him hide his face into your throat.

“Guess sex isn't enough.” He mumbles against your tacky skin.

“That or you're not telling me something.” You gasp at the end, when he keeps hitting that spot and makes you cum each time. Makes a deep tension in you dissipate until you feel as if you're floating, you wouldn't be able to speak much longer.

He thinks you'll pull away but instead you thread your fingers into his sweaty curls to bring his face to yours. To look deep into his eyes even if you struggle before you seal your lips with his. Letting your tongue slide over his until you moan his name into his mouth.

“Oh fuck Izuku, you have to cum in me now. Fuck fuck you're throbbing.” Your cunt clamps down on him at the thought of his warm seed spilling into your milking cunt. He pants over you, still keeping that steady slow roll of his hips but how you squeeze him makes him insane. Makes his hips finally speed up before his pace turns sloppy.

His moans turning into loud grunts as he fucks you with enough vigor the legs of the couch scrape against the expensive hardwoods until he's cupping your throat again but never squeezes. Looking down at you and you don't dare look away as you watch his long lashes flutter, the sight makes the coil in your stomach snap again. Feel him paint your cunt in pearly strings of white before he slowly lowers himself on shaking arms, giving your throat a tender squeeze before he rests his head in the crook of your throat, he hadn't intended for the two of you to fuck already. Hell he didn't even mean to rip off your jeans and set you on his face so he could show you that he really wasn't boring.

And he sure as fuck didn't meant to fill up your pretty cunt with his spend.

“What are you doing to me?” He pants playfully, kissing at your thudding pulse point.

“Stealing your heart, remember?” A breathless giggle as the two of you lie like that until his cock begins to soften. He sighs, slowly gets to his feet before he's lifting you into his arms, it makes your cheeks warm, especially when you look down at the soaked fabric of the sofa.

“I think we ruined your couch.” He laughs at your joke.

“Ts fine, the covers are machine washable.” He nudges his nose into your cheek and you giggle before he's setting you on the edge of the tub as he starts the shower for you.

“Here's how to adjust the water temp if you need it hotter. Most women love it scalding.” He takes a step back, moving to grab for a fresh towel for you. You try not to let your heart sink when you realize he isn't going to join you.

“Oh a real casanova huh?” He rolls his eyes at your playful jab before he steps into his bedroom to give you privacy for the time being. Fishing out a T-shirt and clean boxers for both himself and you to sleep in. Laying yours out on the bed as he smells his body wash float from under the snowy glass door. It makes him smile as he thinks of how you'll smell like him until he takes you to gather your things from your place tomorrow, that or he'll buy you whatever you want or need.

For now he'll relish the idea that you, his fake girlfriend, gets to smell like him, your fake boyfriend.

After awhile you come into the room, clean and pristine, movement catching Izuku's eye of course. When you meet his eyes you smile, give a little twirl.

“It's Chanel.” Letting your fingers adjust the hem of the regular cotton towel and Izuku laughs.

“Is it? Lemme see.” He rises, holds your hand to twirl you again as he looks down at you with a smile, “Perfect fit.”

“Thank you.” You giggle again, feeling shy for the first time under his heavy gaze. Watching the corner of his lips tilt upward before he points out the clothes he left out for you and slips into the bathroom. Surprisingly you don't hear the lock click to the door, Izuku was either far too trusting or he truly did not see you as a threat to his life.

Quick to change into the oversized, old shirt and boxers before you take this opportunity to explore his penthouse now that the six foot four man wasn't pressing himself up against you.

Tiptoeing out of his room even if you knew you didn't need to, whetting your curiosity first with the living room that was adorned with ceiling to floor windows to the left when you first came in. Your breath fogging the window as you look over the cityscape. A snaking inky black cuts through the bright lights, the wide river bed reflecting the lights back in swirling currents giving the scene the stars the sky lacks.

Even this late at night the prefecture is teaming with life, you wonder if it's exhausting for him. To sonder over the lives that carry out beneath his feet. If he wonders if he can save them all.

If he knows he can't.

The needle of the record player bumps against the middle of the vinyl again pulling you from your thoughts.

“Oh.” You squeak, tiptoeing to the old thing and gently lifting the arm. Finding the album cover and slipping the vinyl in with ease before shutting off the player. Eyes quick to find the empty spot on the wall to where the album goes.

Not on the shelves under the player, no those were jam-packed with composition notebooks unlabeled making your curious fingers twitch. The album belongs up on the wall with the rest of them that he organized beautifully. Each piece placed perfectly to compliment each piece of art so that it could be viewed individually or if you stood back you could see it as something whole.

Standing on tiptoes to return its album art facing forward. Taking a step or two back to appreciate it before the notebooks whisper to you.

Slipping one from the shelves, it's filled margin to margin with text about the albums. The notations were meticulously detailed reminding you of placards at museums or art exhibits. Finding the corresponding piece, staring up at the art before your eyes flicker down to the notes.

…when the music swells it squeezes my heart, the lyrics were chosen carefully bringing tears to my eyes. It's haunting how relatable it is to wonder if I'll get a perfect love and if I do that I'm deserving….

You swallow thickly, know you'll get swallowed up by this notebook that you didn't have the time to dissect, especially not with the limited amount of time you had. It felt akin to a diary, something you shouldn't be reading. Normally that wouldn't discourage you, wouldn't have your fingers slowly shutting the book. Normally you'd devour as much as you could with an excuse on why you weren't where you were supposed to be on the tip of your tongue.

For now you return it to the shelf.

Feet carrying you across the cool hardwood to the open concept kitchen that over looks the living room with the album art, expensive couch and the TV. The large waterfall island made of marble, clean and smooth save for a few scattered pieces of Izuku's life he hadn't yet tidied away like the rest of the apartment.

Another notebook, a theme it seems, lying open. A sketch of a hero on the left with text surrounding them before paragraphs of text and few bullet points to the page on the right again in Izuku's slightly messy handwriting. As if his hand cannot keep up with his brain.

Snow Fall - similar to Shouto’s ice quirk…

“Beloved?” Izuku's voice calls gently from down the hall, you tear your eyes away from the notebook and quickly open a few cabinets before you find a glass and fill it from the tap.

“M coming! Just needed water.” Heading back to huge bedroom, smiling devilishly when you find Izuku.

Seeing his body better in the light of the bedroom. Scarred, thick with muscle and soft freckles kissing almost every inch of his skin. The tan spots giving extra attention to his Adonis belt that leads to his fat cock. It makes your cunt throb.

You set the AllMight collectable glass down onto the bedside table, not noticing the fanboy item until you see his flushed cheeks, following his eyes to the PLUS ULTRA cup. The source of his embarrassment makes you giggle again.

“It's cute.” You reassure, jumping on top of the deep viridian duvet, cocking your hand on your hip and pulling your shirt up to show a little skin.

“When's the last time you fucked on this great big bed?” He doesn't answer you right away, basil eyes looking at you before they begin to look through you.

A burning ember gaze sears his memory, he closes his eyes as if that would stop the images from demanding every last shred of his attention..

“Been awhile.” He finally admits, dropping his towel unashamed as he steps into his black boxer briefs. They cup his sac and softened cock nicely, clinging to his thick thighs that have you salivating. The way he ate pussy and fucked was almost good enough to replace the cold hard cash he promised to pay, almost.

That distant look in his eyes made you wonder if there was someone else that held him back from his romantic endeavors.

“Shall we christen this great big bed too then?” A playful tease as you pull up the fabric of his shirt to expose your breasts. He loved the sight, loved how you looked in his clothes, in his bed, underneath him as his emerald pendant swings in your face.

His cock twitches, a tick in his jaw before he's clasping his hands in restraint. Wringing his fingers as he thinks of the last time he fucked in that bed.

He feels the ghost of sharp canines at the nape of his neck, his hand automatically moves to brush over the area. His curls fall over his eyes and he sighs deeply.

“No. I think you should sleep.” He smiles softly, it doesn't reach his eyes and you don't push, “We've got a big day tomorrow. Got to get your stuff and -”

“I don't have a lot of stuff. My outfit was the most of it.”

“You don't have any other clothes?”

“Maybe another pair of pants, some underwear for sure but this is mostly it. So we have time.” You purr, crawling down the bed before you flop onto your stomach. Arching your back purposefully, out stretching your fingers to play with his.

“Then it will be even longer. We'll have to get you an outfit for the party.” He threads his fingers with yours before you let go when his words register. Sitting straight up.

“Party?”

“Yes, baby doll, party. We've got several to go to. Maybe a gala too. Then there's the agency Christmas party oh and…” He bites at his lip as he rest his chin on scarred digits beginning to go off on a tangent as he thinks of all the invitations stuffed in the top desk drawer of his office.

“A gala?!” Oh fuck oh fuck this was a bad idea. When he said girlfriend through the holidays you thought fucking and a private date or two. Not being surrounded by pro heroes you ran from on the daily, identity concealed with a mask.

Not only would you be in the literal lion’s den but you really weren't the most classy type of bitch. You've never really been invited to any big event let alone one that was fucking televised. At least not events you didn't crash to slide priceless paintings off the walls or expensive jewelry off the wrists of the one percent. At least then you'd have your mask to hide behind, the ability to blend into the crowd but now you'd be hanging off the arm of the number one hero.

You'd have to act like a proper lady who definitely didn't crash in vacation homes or half lived in apartments of the rich and the famous while they stayed in their main mansions until they got tired of the same old four walls.

Each gig you promised that this would be your last and each time you found yourself with a new piece of jewelry made from dazzling gems of deconstructed designer pieces hungry for the next heist.

Art and jewelry weren't the only things you've stolen, information and secrets often sold for a lot more but Izuku, pro hero Deku, didn't need to know you had a stash house, more like stash attic, in some rundown home in Kamakura you'd gotten for a steal.

His thighs bump up against the edge of the bed, cupping your cheeks for a moment, “You look…worried.”

“I am worried. Some of these events are televised. Are you sure you want me? I'm not exactly Yaoyorozu or Kendo."

“I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't.” He comes down to press his lips to your forehead. It makes your stomach flutter, it shouldn't, “Besides those will be the easiest ones. The hard ones are the more personal settings.”

He leans back, takes his hands from your face as he heads towards the lights, “I won't let anything happen to you.”

He flicks off the lights, stands by the door for a moment before he goes to shut it.

“You're really going to sleep on the couch? I thought we had to make this realistic.” A final attempt to get him to at least come and enjoy his luxury bed. It was big enough that you doubted the two of you would even touch by accident in the middle of the night. If he was so afraid of intimacy, which was odd, he seemed more the time to fall in love if he fucked. Especially when he did romantic shit like fuck you to music and whisper some of the lyrics in your ear.

You pat his side with sharp clawed fingers, “Come on boyfriend.”

He can't remember the last time he slept in his bed, changing and washing the sheets more out of habit than necessity and as he tries to recall he thinks it's been over a year.

He looks at you for a long, long time, you curled up in his expensive sheets and comforter as you pat the spot beside you patiently but he sighs.

“Maybe another time. Good night sugar.”

“Good night Zuzu bear.”

#izuku x reader #izuku midoryia x reader #midoryia izuku x reader #deku x reader #bnha x reader #kitten writes izuku 🖤🐈‍⬛ 🖋️

[triptychgardener]

What does becoming a furry in Homestuck mean? (In reference to your recent Nepeta post)

Okay so the thing is the way that Homestuck treats furries is honestly kind of equivalent to how it treats queerness. As in, Homestuck initially treats it like a joke or a thing to mostly sneer at. Homestuck was very much part of the wave of disaffected ironic assholes of the Newgrounds and Something Awful type, especially to start with, and that sort of relied on shitting on demographics that were seen as weird and permissible to find cringe and make fun of.

Jade comes onto the scene, and a lot of people sort of groan at her whole furry shtick. Jade is largely, however, just a pretty sincere character, and even though she feels some embarassment over the idea of BEING a furry (i.e. her distaste for the idea of actually wearing a fursuit) she nonetheless begins the admirable refrain of combining the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom.

Her earnest affection for all things anthropomorphic sets up more than just her excellent taste. And as much as she is a bit of a pattern-breaker, one pattern she doesn't break is that of having a Signature Animal.

The four beta kids have a bunch of different things associated with them: the four elements, four items, four musical instruments. But the animals are practically integral to who they are as people and characters.

John's attachment to the bunny is obvious, and helps to spur on one of the most emotional scenes in the comic. (For him. Him specifically.)

It's also something deeply precious to him, as it's a gift from every single one of his friends in a very roundabout fashion!

For Rose, Jaspers is half the reason she decided to play the game in the first place. She missed her dead cat so dearly she was willing to play a game that might end the world for it.

(Pictured above, Rose lying about her feelings, water is wet.)

Dave seems to at least feel some affection for crows, or at least shame when he kills them.

And his fusing to become Davesprite is what allows him to survive as a "copy" of the original Dave. Once again, Dave's disaffected irony giving way to the necessity of becoming a furry to save the world.

And for Jade, of course, Bec.

And it's notable that, by the end of the comic, at least THREE of our main beta kids have merged with their animals, and, in a way, become the best versions of themselves.

Jade obviously gets to achieve her dream of becoming a furry, and in doing so gaining power and agency that she was always denied due to her position in the story.

Davepeta, as I stated in a previous post, is the true Final Form of Dave, the pawn that made it to the end of the board, the only surviving character from Homestuck's "original" timeline, and is truly happy with themselves.

And Jasprose appears to have fully hurled herself through the walls Rose put up around herself to protect her image, and thus absolutely mortifies Rose. She just seems to be having a great time.

Homestuck evolved from a story that was deeply cynical and mean-spirited about furrydom, to a story where three of our four starting protagonists, in their truest most powerful forms, combine the qualities of man and beast to achieve self-actualization. And to bring this back around to queerness, these three characters also happen to be canonically queer. So there's that.

This isn't even to get into how this might relate to Troll Lusii and the concept of "growing up" to be more like one's parent on a planet raised by animals, but that's for another day.

#long post #flashing lights #asks #anon #hope this answers it!

[metapianycist]

i got an ask asserting that amy sequenzia was fraudulently being manipulated by her carer and thus can't be credited for her contributions to autistic advocacy, which include significant work against the idea that nonverbal people should be pitied or presumed not to have thoughts.

i didn't want to let this sit in my askbox without a response.

you should always ask yourself what someone's goal is when they tell you that a prominent nonverbal activist—one whose entire body of work is about presuming competence and advocating for nonverbal people's agency and dignity—is in some way fraudulent.

you could also ask yourself: if it's true that this autistic person's caregivers are deliberately manipulating their words (or, as in related conspiracy theorizing I've seen about other autistic activists: if it's true that this person is faking being nonverbal...), who would be materially benefitting from this very effortful fraud, and what would be the goal of orchestrating such a complex fraud? if there's no clear benefit or goal to this kind of fraud, this should give you serious pause.

conspiracism about prominent nonverbal autistic people being fraudulent very frequently occurs alongside a reluctance to believe that a nonverbal person who uses communication supports can genuinely have and communicate thoughts, and doubt that such a nonverbal person could ever have thoughts as complex as a verbal person's.

ask yourself: what is the goal of asserting that a prominent nonverbal activist's words are not their own and that they've been manipulated by their caregivers?

is it to draw attention to legitimate harm done to the nonverbal person by their caregivers?

is it drawing attention to harm done directly to nonverbal people by the activist's work?

or is the assertion meaning to discredit the idea of presuming competence at all in nonverbal people who need assistance communicating?

be wary of people who wear their skepticism as a badge of honor yet are committed to the idea that some prominent nonverbal autistic activist is either faking or can't possibly be responsible for their own words, especially if the self-styled skeptic shows no interest in figuring out ways to protect nonverbal people from harm in a way that presumes that they indeed have thoughts.

amy sequenzia is not the first nonverbal autistic person who's been the subject of conspiracy theorizing suggesting that her caregivers are using her as a puppet and that her entire body of work consists of their words and not hers. she will not be the last nonverbal person whose communication is questioned. but we can always critically examine these kinds of claims to see if they come from a place of genuine value for nonverbal people's agency and safety.

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #metapianycist original post #neurodivergent

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

About representation of child abuse in ML

I’m sorry if this isn’t the proper way to send it I chose it because I can actually divide paragraphs here. I am also assuming none of the abuse submissions are reblogged because of the subject.  I was neglected as a child(parents often forgot to feed me, didn’t care about my hygiene and I couldn’t go to the doctor when I should have) and emotionally abused after coming out as trans as a young teen(constantly being pressured to stop being trans, treating me as stupid and melodramatic for being trans at all, showing open disgust if I did something “too manly” etc.). I was a bully for two years in middle school before realizing the weight of what I was doing. I had to put in a lot of effort to improve, especially since guilt was feeding into already-existing self-hatred. When I first saw Miraculous Ladybug on TV I didn’t expect child abuse to come up at all since it’s a hard topic even for adults and Miraculous didn’t seem like the show to tackle a complicated topic. Looking back they shouldn’t have tried because they end up giving incredibly bad messages. As you point out Chloe is treated as irredeemable and sent off with her abusive parent as punishment while Andre is never treated as the neglectful parent he is. While children can be abusive to their parents Andre is the mayor of Paris while Chloe is a kid, he holds a lot of power here that he refuses to use at all. He also doesn’t try to get Chloe psychological help which would be the correct course of action seeing her mother despite the fact it wouldn’t even make a dent in his pocket. It would be better to either have Chloe’s redemption fail while highlighting how her parents affect her behaviour but don’t justify it or have a straightforward redemption arc, maybe one where she doesn’t get forgiven but still improves to show kids there’s a way out. “I will always be like this because of abuse” is an easy thought to fall into and ML accidentally ends up teaching it to kids, Jesus. The other thing that really bugs me is the treatment Gabriel gets, it seems to me that the show tries to use his love for his wife and son as a redeeming quality but I am not sure on how good an idea that is. It’s better than if he were to hate Adrien but loving Adrien doesn’t excuse any of the things he does. In my experience most abusive parents do love their children, they really think they are doing the best for their kids. The kicker comes in when they end up harming their children in some way but refuse to acknowledge it. If your parents always end up doing more harm than good and refuse to stop, then love alone can’t save it. I don’t think that point was there as Gabriel’s love was portrayed as a good thing because this show doesn’t do nuance. Also the plot Gabriel abusing Adrien should mainly be about how Adrien feels. Of course it will affect other characters but Adrien is the one getting abused by Gabriel. Gabriel is also an incredibly controlling parent who takes away Adrien’s agency and the show never really addresses that. Adrien is a bystander in a story-arc about him getting abused. He never learns that Gabriel is Hawk Moth(writers seem to think we forgot Chat Blanc and even then that episode was more about “Ooo hero gets akumatized”), we never learn his thoughts about the whole situation and Gabriel completely gets his way in the end, leading to a happy ending. Adrien’s contribution to the finale is giving up the agency he had left. This really left a sour taste in my mouth. If you’re not going to deal with how abuse affects Adrien, why write it in at all?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, I’d like to thank you for being able to step forward and talk about your history with your parents. I’m very sorry that you had to go through that.

Second of all, you make a good point with how much the show empasizes Gabriel’s love for his family supposedly justifying his terrible actions, with or without the mask. It doesn’t help that, like you said, he doesn’t even get to confront Gabriel about their relationship himself, and ends the season believing all the delusions Gabriel had about him being a good father. 

Hell, even the movie does a better job at pointing out how much Gabriel has hurt his son over the show itself, and I’m pretty sure that’s why so many people prefer that version of Gabriel over this one. 

#thing delivered to my ask box because tumblr won't let me say the s-word #immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #child abuse in miraculous ladybug

[a-town-called-hometown]

in regards to deltarune and character agency, i always assumed the darkners' agency being tied to the lightners' will was a direct parallel to the player character's agency (kris) being tied to the *player's* will (us), and that by making this the game's narrative (darkners are on a plane below lightners and are considered, in a way, less 'real', despite several having desires to break away from this hierarchy) the game is trying to call into question our relationship with the game itself, with the world itself. if the relationship between lightners and darkners feels unfair, then our relationship to kris should be in question as well. characters all have roles to play, but isn't that strange? why the prophecy, why the repetition, why do we, ultimately, have so much control? what gives us the right? it's all layers. us, lightners, darkners, imagine your whole world living and dying at the hands of gods that, out of boredom, could easily abandon you one day, or even destroy you? gods you were made to love and serve, and around you everyone says without them you can never be whole. who wouldn't want to rebel? i think if you're an advocate for kris's agency, you have to advocate for the darkners' agency. for ralsei's agency outside of kris or the prophecy or anything he's meant to do. i think kris and ralsei are narrative foils in this regard, one who blindly accepts his fate, and the other who tries to escape it, a character who does whatever he's told and a character who forcefully slips from our grasp. it just feels like set up to me for a lot more than 'escapism.' i'd say the main themes here are fate, agency, choice and control. even the mystery voice at the start of the game has their plans messed with by the other voice choosing to discard our vessel. every character is grasping at something they can't have, even ralsei can't have his narrative go the way he's planned because susie keeps surprising him lol

yes that's true!!! i would also argue that 'identity' is packaged in with these themes - deltarune is written in such a way where characters are not just grappling with fates and choices outside of their control, but also grappling with roles that they seemingly cannot escape.

the darkners are fantastical & metafictional version of this idea, given that they are both objects who need to be useful in order to not be abandoned and also npcs who serve an rpg-genre narrative function. ralsei especially fulfills several rpg archetypes as the friendly healer companion and as the guide npc. every major darkner has some kind of conflict involving the role they were made to play, whether it's lancer as "the bad guy" or spamton as "the spam email." even queen, who is extremely enthusiastic about her role, runs into issues because she is so zealous that she does not grasp what the lightners might actually want and need.

susie and noelle fulfill a more realistic version of this: the labels of bully and nice girl respectively are roles that neither of them exactly chose, but through a mix of environmental & psychosocial factors and a dose of self-fulfilling prophecy, neither of them know how to escape. berdly, while mostly comedic, is also a character who deals a lot with his real-world designation of "smart guy." susie breaks loose somewhat of her role in ch1, and we see noelle start to follow suit by the end of ch2. given that their existence isn't directly tied to their roles the way the darkners' are, it makes sense that they'd start to question and challenge these first.

kris, as befitting of their protagonist role, fulfills both versions of the idea. their role in the light world is an outcast who lives in their brother's shadow, and in the dark world, they're viewed as a prophesized hero. but they don't have full agency in either of these identities at all. they're being controlled by us, and the perceptions of them as an outcast and hero respectively are imposed onto them by other people.

meanwhile, almost all the other lightner npcs are different versions of characters we met in undertale. i would argue that this is another form of imposed identity, albeit one they aren't aware of. WE view them as their identities from undertale. I highly suspect that this will be something played with a lot more as future chapters go on.

the themes of choice & control all interlock with this idea of imposed identity. in a world where nobody can choose who they are, is it possible for people to eventually break out of what they are assumed to be...?

it's a game made to make us heavily question both a lot of rpg conventions and especially how we view characters in games. I'm very excited to see how the game will continue to play with its ideas of agency. it's such a brilliant idea to tell a story about fate by explicitly tying it to the way characters and worlds are written in games, and also by tying it to audience perceptions related to toby fox's last game. it's going to be so interesting to see how the characters deconstruct all those expectations!

#deltarune #basically. deltarune is good.

[bluedalahorse]

off the cuff thoughts about the differences between being public and being recognized

Don’t hate me but I’m actually really interested in what kinds of delicious narrative tension Young Royals 3 is going to play with when it comes to the Wilhelm/Simon relationship not just being something that happens openly but something that is public. As in, a relationship that has a public presence and meaning, that is going to be consumed by the public in some way and evaluated under public scrutiny. As in something that the palace may attempt to curate and spin a certain way for the public eye.

In my mind, being “public” is different than just being “recognized” or just being “together” in a way that the people around you can see. In a show that’s a little more “slice of life” like Heartstopper (hate to use this as the contrast example but it was the first thing that comes to mind) there’s a lot of emotional stakes to Nick and Charlie calling one another boyfriends, and then being boyfriends in front of their friends and family. And generally it’s positive when they can take these steps of being more recognized by the people around them, because it allows for a lot more emotional honesty, self-expression, and self-acceptance. It’s also historically significant, given the way that queer couples in previous periods of history have at times been forced to live in the shadows.

For Wilhelm and Simon there’s emotional stakes to being recognized as a couple, especially as they try to reclaim agency for themselves in the wake of being violently outed. Yet Wilhelm’s position as crown prince means there’s going to be political stakes as well, and for that reason they can’t be recognized without also being public. And it feels very much like this emotional threads and these political threads are in conflict. Whether they like it or not, Wilhelm and Simon are symbols. I do wonder if Kristina and some of her associates at the palace will choose to openly support Wilhelm and Simon’s relationship, but also express a lot of opinions about how that relationship gets styled and posed in photo ops. The monarchy could want Wilhelm and Simon’s relationship to be a sign of their progressiveness, showing that they can adapt to the times while still remaining one of Sweden’s constants. But I admit I would absolutely devour a storyline where this is called out for the calculating PR move that it is, and not just written off as a message about cozy acceptance.

I also think it’s interesting how this idea of the public image of relationships applies to other characters in the show. Public scrutiny is something we think of affecting queer relationships a lot, but it impacts other types of relationships as well. So let’s go into the girls’ arcs for a little bit…

Felice is constantly under scrutiny for how people perceive her relationships to Wilhelm and August, and she is consistently negatively impacted by social expectations around female gender roles. People gossip about her being a gold digger when Wilhelm kisses her, for instance, despite Wilhelm initiating. Alternately, I think a lot about the shift between Felice and August’s initial hookup in 1.3, where Felice is in a bad place emotionally but at least has some agency in her anger and rage, and some of Felice and August’s early public appearances, such as when the headmistress expresses approval of them together and says August looks happier. There’s subtext here about Hillerska being the place where high status boys and girls meet one another to eventually marry, and about women managing the emotions of the men they’re in relationships with. And, what does August yell at Felice for? For not holding his grief for him when he’s sad about Erik, of course, and holding emotional space for Wilhelm instead. He expects her to be managing his emotions. This is not just August’s general toxic douchery (although there is that) but like, what adults and public expectations have socialized into him from birth. Now, Felice and August’s relationship was never going to be functional to begin with and it’s pretty damn dysfunctional in private, but that public pressure to behave according to certain roles made things even worse between them. It trapped Felice, too, because of the expectations that she act like a Good Society Wife to whoever she’s in a relationship with and not challenge him. That’s why Felice’s public instagram blast is so important. It’s not just a fun moment, but one where she stops playing the Nice Girl and says openly how fed up she is.

Meanwhile, in season 2, Sara and August’s relationship doesn’t have quite the same kind of dysfunction. But I’m really struck by the anxiety and fear that hits Sara during the scene in 2.4, when she overhears August’s phone call to the palace and the plans for the next ten years of his life. When Sara and August fight at the ball, we can see how worried she is about the idea of her relationship with August being under the PR microscope. Not just because she’s in a relationship with the guy who exposed her brother and was pretty shitty to her best friend (although, there is very much that) but because of the nature of public scrutiny in general. Sara is already looking ahead to the endless slog of press conferences and curated social media feeds, and she knows August wouldn’t be able to protect her from that because he is the reason she’d be getting that attention in the first place. Wilhelm wasn’t able to protect Simon, after all. She’s also got her eye on how the threat of attention is affecting August, making note of how he’s turned to unprescribed ADHD medication to stay on his feet. I think it’s incredibly smart of Young Royals have the canonically autistic and ADHD character be so aware of the psychic toll it takes to present a public persona, and to recoil from that horror when it’s offered to her by the person she most desires. (I also think that’s exactly why an AU fic where Sara ends up in that public princess-consort-to-be role would be so damn interesting. I don’t think we’ve seen that kind of story with an explicitly AuDHD character and I would honestly just be fascinated.)

To bring this back around to Wilmon… I do not want to ignore the historical significance of a queer prince having a recognized queer relationship, and I do think that is something that can come with moments of joy and happiness that I will enjoy as an audience member. At the same time, I think given what this show has chosen to say about relationships serving a public function, especially in ways that reinforce the class system, I am practically salivating to see what kind of commentary we will get about how this relationship gets packaged for the public. What kind of PDA is acceptable to the press? What terms are Simon and Wilhelm allowed to use to refer to one another in interviews? What kinds of places are they allowed to be seen together? What hobbies can they pursue? What colors is a queer prince allowed to wear? Is the pink sweater Wilhelm’s sign of rebellion, or was it imposed on him by stylists because they thought it made him approachable and quirky and accepted by his parents, and Wilhelm found himself liking it in spite of the imposition? Does Simon feel he can reclaim a sense of his own image, or does he feel like he’s being curated into something he’s not? What if Simon’s ideas for his future conflict with those of the palace’s? What then? How do they find their real relationship with one another when the people around them are always attempting to craft one?

I also wonder what our role will be as audience. We have been watching Simon and Wilhelm’s story for three seasons now. Will the show challenge some of our assumptions about true love and authenticity? Will it call us out for our voyeurism? To what extent are we complicit with the public scrutiny that governs the lives of Hillerska students and the upper classes? I am so curious to find out what season 3 has to say about us, even if it takes the form of criticism we aren’t expecting.

#young royals #wilmon #yr season 3 #this is what passes for me writing a wilmon post i guess

[tryingtodotheright-thing]

Hello, Sunset - 6

AN: This is my longest chapter to date. I really suck at writing dialogue, which is just my real life awkward self presenting in fiction. I would love to hear what people think about this chapter or just the story in general. Need some inspiration as I'm stuck on the next chapter. The writing gods have left me and there's a metaphorical brick wall between my ideas and the blank Google doc ... PAIRING: Seungcheol x fem!reader GENRE: exes to lovers, idol verse, angst WORD COUNT: 4,650 WARNINGS: reader has anxiety and depression, swearing, mentions of alcohol Text in blue is spoken in Korean.

PREVIOUS / NEXT

1 December 2023 - 6 January 2024

There wasn’t really any time for melancholy, not for Y/N. She wanted to wistfully brood about her 10 days in Asia and play the nostalgic CARAT post concert, but the end of the year was relentless. Y/N travelled back to Tokyo the very next day to catch her flight home to London. She used the weekend to reset her body clock and catch up on her emails before she was back at the office on Monday. 

By the time she landed in London, her episode on Amazing Saturday had already aired. She didn’t think the episode would have a huge audience. She had hoped to make an impression on the Korean audience but wasn’t expecting to suddenly be trending on Naver or anything. She had turned off the airplane mode on her phone whilst briskly making her way through the long route from the gate to baggage collection. It was a good thing her phone was silent as suddenly the notifications piled up. She opened up Instagram first as that’s where the most notifications were from and saw that Josua had tagged her on a post.

It was the second time he’d done that since they had met back in September. Then, it had been a picture they had posed together for a magazine at the Marni show. This time, it was a clip of her getting the one shot for getting the most accurate answer for the God of Music quiz. He’d captioned it to say ‘Thank you for answering SVT’s quiz, Y/N’. The post had thousands of likes already, including fellow SEVENTEEN members such as S.Coups, Seungkwan and Vernon. Her followers on Instagram had also increased, she guessed as a natural effect from this interaction. She was following Joshua already so she liked the picture and closed the app, too tired to think about her actions or do anything more.

The click clacks of her heels echoed as she walked the short distance from her cabin to the one of the Global HR Director and her line manager, David. Unlike the confident sounds of her footsteps, Y/N felt timid as she opened the door to his office once he beckoned her to come in through the glass windows of his office. David was not someone to mince his words or beat around the bush, especially as someone as busy and senior as he was in such a huge corporation. 

Y/N walked out of his office thirty minutes later with relief. She’d need to talk to Sian and Emma first before she officially accepted his offer but she thought this was the best option for everyone without Y/N having to give up her career in HR completely. Her decision was solidified as she received positive response to her various promotion activities in Korea as they came out on broadcast and YouTube over the next few days. Sian and Emma began to receive interest from Korean shows and entertainment companies. The questions varied from whether she was interested in appearing on more shows to her plans on promoting in Korea and needing a local agency to support her promotions to even writing music for idol groups. Eun Ji was ecstatic at the idea of her living in Seoul and declared that Y/N would live with her. When she ran through her doubts of the move, Joshua reassured her as someone who had taken the same leap. Vernon and Seungkwan, who Y/N kept in touch with regularly since meeting them a few weeks ago, promised to visit her regularly so she wouldn’t be lonely. 

By the time her slot at the Jingle Bell Ball was over a week later, Y/N felt fully confident in her decision to resign from her job in the UK and take the consultancy role. It offered her more flexibility whilst still allowing her to keep putting to use the qualification and skills she had developed over the past seven years. Her first focus would be working with regional leads in Japan and South Korea to support the planned restructures and optimise the local operations. She would be assessing the situation, proposing a solution and would oversee the implementation of it when it is accepted but won’t be the person delivering the change. She was actually excited to step out of her comfort zone and expand her experience further by dipping her toes into consultancy whilst putting to use her language skills in another country. It honestly felt like an offer too good to be true. It also gave Y/N time to prepare for her EP release that had been planned for the end of the summer and her European Tour that would kick off in the autumn of 2024. She hoped she would get lots of inspiration to write in the new environment.

Things moved quickly once she accepted David’s offer. A flat in Hannam-dong in Yongsan had been leased under her name by Emma. Whilst her company had offered to organise this for her, she had preferred to find a place that suited her specific needs and had negotiated with David so the company would contribute a fixed amount to the rent instead. David put her negotiation skills to the test but Y/N thought she handled it quite well. She had a decent deal by the end. She spent the next few weeks saying a temporary goodbye to her life in London, catching up with friends in between her end of year performance schedule. She’d gone from the one watching the countdown to NYE on BBC to the one people watched performing as the country counted down to the dawn of a new year. A few days later, she was back on a plane to Incheon, this time on her own. Emma wouldn’t be joining her in Seoul but would be making plenty of visits as needed. W Music had a partner in Seoul who would organise any assistance Y/N needed. Y/N leaned her seat back and gazed out of the window, taking a sip of the red wine the stewardess handed her earlier. She hoped 2024 would be a year to remember. 

Current

Y/N had gone to bed immediately after her bath. The fight or flight response in her body had slowly disappeared until all that was left was exhaustion. She had dragged herself from the bathroom to her bedroom, not going through any of her night time routine but falling straight into bed instead. The blackout blinds in her room hid the world from her and equally hid her from the world from her. It was the Bank Holiday Monday so she had allowed herself to lie in and when she checked the digital clock on her bedside table once she arose from her deep slumber, she saw it was close to 11am. She decided it was time to face the world and couldn’t hide any longer. 

“Alexa, open the blinds.” The automated blinds came to life and with a soft whirring noise, it let the sunlight into the spacious cream coloured room. Closing her eyes briefly to allow them a relief from the bright rays, she patted around the bed for her phone. When her attempts were fruitless, she sighed in defeat before getting out of bed to look around the room for it. Not seeing it anywhere, she slid her feet onto her soft slippers and moved to the living room. She had success as she found it face up on the sofa. She tapped on the screen to bring it to life but it didn’t work. Letting out a groan, realising the phone had run out of battery, she moved to the kitchen island and planted her phone on top of the wireless charger. Leaving it to collect power so she could turn it on, she used the time to make her morning smoothie. 

Ten minutes later, she sat on one of the high stools by her kitchen island with a large glass of avocado and banana smoothie. She turned the phone on, making sure to keep it on the wireless charger. She saw that she had missed calls and clicked on the Phone app to see who had tried to get in touch. Some were older notifications she had dismissed like the missed calls from Sian and Emma. There were also recent missed calls from Rachel, Eun Ji and Joshua. Joshua didn’t normally call so she assumed he was concerned about her non-reply. 

As she wondered if it was finally time to grow up and call Joshua, her phone began to ring. It was an unsaved number but Y/N recognised it straight away. It was an incoming call from SEVENTEEN’s main Manager, Shim Jae Hyun. He’d been the first person she’d spoken to after Seungcheol had sent her the text to break up and blocked her number immediately after. Y/N could still remember the pity in his voice as he’d told her that Seungcheol had informed him of the breakup, and had asked that Y/N not contact anyone related to himself. Y/N had responded with a distressed ‘I understand’ and had immediately cut the call. 

Since then, she hadn’t spoken to anyone related to Seungcheol, including the members. Some of the members, particularly Vernon and Seungkwan, had tried to speak to her when they became aware of the break up but she’d already blocked them. The only remaining connection was Joshua and even then, she didn’t pick up or answer his calls. They hadn’t spoken since the day before the break up, when Y/N had called him from the airport to confirm she’s boarding and to ask him to check in on Seungcheol. Despite his persistent attempts, Y/N hadn’t spoken to Joshua since that day. He eventually gave up and stopped calling her and would send the occasional texts to see how she was, which she would read but not respond to. Seeing the two ticks to show she was reading it was good enough for him. It’s what he’d pleaded for her to do at the very least.

She assumed Jae Hyun-nim was calling due to the statement that had been published. She let the call go to voicemail and instead took a screenshot with his number displayed and sent it off to Emma and Sian, knowing one of them would contact him. She didn’t want to have a dialogue with PLEDIS or HYBE and Sian had stressed that everything should go through her or Emma. She put the phone back on the charging pad and returned to her room to pack her bag, knowing she had a flight to NYC that evening. Lily, Sian’s first assistant since Emma’s official promotion a year ago, had sent over the flight ticket details as well as some outfit options for Y/N to choose from her various interviews in NYC. Lily would organise it so any of the outfits Y/N selects would be delivered to the JW Marriott Essex House hotel in Upper East Side, where she would be staying this time. Normally, would have a longer visit and so would have gone for one of their long stay apartments but the impromptu plans meant she would be staying in one of Marriott’s hotels instead. The next few hours passed in a blur and Y/N found herself once again on a plane.

25 January 2024 

The black Porsche Cayenne lit up as the engine turned on. The car was a Christmas present to herself and she’d be paying it off for the next few years but Y/N was in love. She loved driving and one of the first things she organised was to ship her car to Seoul as soon as she decided on her move and yet, it only arrived a few days ago. Y/N was excited to take the car for a spin, having been taking taxis whenever she needed to leave her flat. She’d spent the first week in Seoul setting up the place whilst staying with Eun Ji and had to then relearn her bearings when she officially moved in. The three weeks since landing in Seoul had been tremendously busy and Y/N was excited to have a night to relax and catch up with a friend. Joshua had returned to the country only a few days ago after wrapping up the last concert of the Follow Tour in Macau. The two had been keeping each other up to date on life but it wasn’t the same as talking in person. Their last meeting hadn’t been the personal catch up they had originally planned for so to have some time together where they could speak more openly was much needed. 

Y/N arrived first at the Mexican restaurant in Itaewon and had immediately ordered some nachos for the pair to munch on whilst they caught up and debated what to order. She’d just taken a sip of her virgin Pina Colada when Joshua walked in. Y/N enveloped Joshua in a warm hug, and they stayed in the embrace for a few seconds, soaking in the comfort they gave each other. As they parted, Joshua grasped Y/N’s right hand tightly and shook it in excitement.

“I can’t believe you’re now living in Seoul!”

“Me neither, Joshie!”

He looked at her tenderly before letting go of her hand to ruffle her hair as usual. She’d given up dodging this move, knowing that it was his way of showing affection. She grinned at him, the smile stretching across her face all the way to her eyes which had shrunk to accommodate the happy expression. A waiter arrived with their nachos and the pair took their seats. Joshua ordered a Margarita. They spent the next hour catching up candidly with no inhibitions in between taking sips of their drinks and crunching on the nachos. They’d ordered more drinks and food, Y/N choosing to stay sober as she didn’t trust a stranger to drive her car. It was another thing for her to become accustomed to in time but she wasn’t quite ready for that yet. 

Joshua was feeling light, having let off a load from his shoulders. He’d met Y/N at a time when he really needed a friend who was removed from his world but would yet understand his trials. They were less than six months apart in age but often, he felt she was the older one and by many years. Maybe it came from their different life journeys. They’d both had their own challenges to overcome and different demons to fight. She saw him so clearly that he often felt she was his soulmate, like a twin who shared the same heart and mind. Their closeness after such a short period led to misconceptions initially, even from his bandmates. He’d been asked if they were dating, Coups being the latest one to quiz him on this when he’d shared his plans to meet Y/N. Joshua shared this anecdote with Y/N, laughing without restraint at the idea. Y/N looked disgusted at the idea, wondering what was wrong with everyone. She begged Joshua to make sure he set everyone straight. 

“Don’t worry, I told him you’re like a sister. Your bias won’t have the wrong idea, so don’t hurt your pea brain worrying.”

She glared at the teasing, huffing at the elder. 

“Who’s the pea brain here! I’m not the one who mistranslated that time we were out …” 

The banter continued, the two bickering away, fully immersed in their own world. It was nearing 9pm when Joshua received a call. 

“Coups-yah. What’s up? Me? I’m in XXX restaurant in Itaewon with Y/N. Oh, you’re nearby?” 

Joshua looked at Y/N with a sly smile as he hung up on the phone. Y/N was immediately on alert.

“What have you done, Hong Jisoo?”

“Where are your manners? It’s Jisoo Oppa!”

“Pfft. Manners, my ass. I know you’ve done something that’s about to piss me off. Out with it, Joshie. Don’t test my kindness.” 

He shrugged and put on an innocent look, widening his eyes and shaking his head, saying he had no idea what she was talking about. She threw a fry at his face, unfortunately missing the mark widely. This made Joshua crack up in giggles and Y/N reluctantly joined in, unable to hold on to her irritation. Y/N was going to suggest that they call it a night and head home when the bell by the door jingled. Joshua, who was facing the door, stuck his neck out to see who it was and his eyes lit up in recognition. He waved his hand at the newcomer and Y/N twisted in her seat to see who it was. It was S.Coups and with him was Jeonghan. 

“Did you miss me that much? You saw me only a few hours ago when we did the Weverse live.” 

Joshua said to S.Coups as the 95 liners reunited in front of Y/N. The waitress arrived and relocated them to a bigger table at the back, hiding them away from the rest of the customers. As they all took their new seats, Y/N bowed at Jeonghan and S.Coups and greeted them. She asked after their health and asked if they’d eaten. S.Coups, who was sitting opposite her, nodded whilst Jeonghan responded, “Coups bought me an expensive dinner. I wanted to go home and rest afterwards but this guy-”

Before Jeonghan could finish his sentence, S.Coups began speaking. He asked about her move and if she was properly settled in her flat. 

Y/N was surprised he knew the details and it must have shown on her face, as he felt the need to clarify that he’d heard from Shua. When she looked at Joshua, he had a devious smirk on his face.

“I didn’t know you paid so much attention to what I say, Coups-yah. Jeonghan-ah, did you know Coups paid this much attention to me?”

Jeonghan, who suddenly looked wide awake, seemed to have caught on to whatever track Joshua was on and enthusiastically exclaimed, “I didn’t know either, Joshuji. I don’t remember you telling us about Y/N’s move and this is my first time seeing you since you came back.”

Turning to his left, he questioned when S.Coups had heard the news. Y/N was a little perplexed about this entire conversation. She didn’t understand why it was such a big deal but she did realise that the angel, who was really a devil in disguise when he was up to his tricks, and his best friend were on the same page and up to something. It seemed that S.Coups had also sensed the danger and looked panic for a second before saying that it might have been Vernon who mentioned it, he couldn’t remember. 

Feeling sorry for the man in front of her as he pouted, she decided to answer his question to move the conversation along. 

“I’ve just about settled in and I was saying to Josh earlier that my car finally arrived so I feel like I’m finally set. I’m about to abandon all of it for two weeks though. I’ll be in Japan travelling to Tokyo, Sapporo and Okinawa for work from Monday onwards.” 

S.Coups nodded again at her and gave her a thousand watts thankful smile. Y/N felt her heart stutter like her old car used to whenever she’d try to speed and the sem-automatic would whine as it stayed stuck in the lower gear. His smile was too blinding and Y/N had to avert her gaze to her glass, fiddling with the stem of it as she tried her best to calm the flutters. 

“Oh, you didn’t tell me you were flying out so soon! We’re on holiday for the next few weeks so I thought I could show you all my favourite places.” 

Joshua was disappointed at the missed opportunity. Y/N reassured him they had plenty of time and that she’d be back on the 10th. The group enjoyed a few more drinks and Y/N slowly loosened up as she got used to the presence of the others. She didn’t see Joshua as a member of SEVENTEEN on most days. To her, he’d become family and so she didn’t get the nervousness that she got in the presence of the rest of the members. Yoon Jeonghan was too beautiful to be real and it was intimidating. 

And then there was S.Coups. Well, no explanation was really needed here. This was someone she admired and found attractive. It was just a celebrity crush, she’d thought. Although she had her head screwed on and knew what she saw wasn’t a full picture of any celebrity, with S.Coups, so much of it was real. She’d gotten to know him through Joshua and the couple of interactions they did have, she’d felt sparks. She knew it was all one-sided and with time, she’d get over it. But right now, she couldn’t be sensible about it. It was the way he would stare deeply into her eyes when she spoke giving his full attention, or the way he’d poured her a glass of water when he noticed her glass was empty, or even how the corners of his mouth would twitch in amusement whenever he caught her sneaking glances at him as Jeonghan told a funny story. She was deeply attracted to the man in front of her. His tight black t-shirt and rich perfume pulled her in. When she caught herself leaning forward one too many times, she knew it was time to go home. She pulled the typical I’m-going-to-freshen-up-but-really-pay-the-bill act and found herself scolded by a whiny Joshua as they all walked her to her car. 

She saw the tired, droopy frame of Jeonghan and told them all to get in, saying she’d drop them off. They tried to refuse the offer but Jeonghan must have been really tired because he got in quickly after thanking Y/N. Joshua sat upfront and inputted the address for the dorm. 

“Coups-yah, are you going to stay at the dorm tonight?” 

It took a beat for S.Coups to answer and the others realised he’d wanted to return to the place he shared with his brother. He said he’d call a taxi from the dorm. 

“I can drop you off, I really don’t mind.”

Y/N turned into the apartment complex that housed SEVENTEEN members. Joshua and Jeonghan got out of the car and S.Coups followed. He seemed to have a non-verbal conversation with Joshua before he turned back to Y/N and asked if she was sure. She nodded and smiled gently in response. 

He lightly hugged the members goodnight before getting back in the car, this time in the front seat. Joshua called out for her to text him when she got home safely and then headed in. 

“And then there were two.”

“Sorry?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s a phrase in English that people would usually say when a big group would suddenly get smaller.” 

She explained as she manoeuvred out of her parking spot. She pulled off and started driving towards the main road as S.Coups set the navigation to direct her to his brother’s place. It was a 20 minute drive and Y/N told herself she can behave for that long. They drove in silence that had started off comfortable but soon became filled with tension till it was stifling. She cleared her throat and suggested that S.Coups put on music if he’d like. 

“You can turn on the radio or you can use my Spotify. My phone is connected via Bluetooth.” 

She quickly unlocked it with her fingerprint and gestured for him to take it. He’d looked slightly stunned at her nonchalance as she gave him access to her phone. He timidly took the phone from the stand it was resting on and scrolled through the app. In the meantime, it began to play from where she’d left off earlier. Red Velvet described the throes of a crush and the longing to greet them again through the song ‘Hello, Sunset’ and Y/N blushed as she listened on. How fitting that this is the song that plays, she thought. She saw him tap along to the music as he scrolled through her phone. Their journey was elongating thanks to the traffic that was building up as the Saturday night deepened. As the song drew to a close, he tapped on the song he’d searched for and Dino’s voice blasted through the speakers. How cute, she thought as she realised he’d chosen to listen to the maknae’s mixtape, ‘Wait’. He bobbed his head along as they listened. The car had come to a standstill in front of the traffic. 

“I really love this song.” 

“Yes, maknae did a good job.” The pride in his voice was clear. She hummed in agreement. 

“I’m sorry. Because of me, you’re delayed.”

He apologised suddenly and Y/N found herself lost in his intense stare again when she'd looked at him to respond. She inaudibly mumbled that it wasn’t a problem and that she’s going the same way. It was as if her ears had popped, all noise surrounding them dampened whilst the sound of her heartbeat grew thunderous. She couldn’t even blink, worried he’d disappear if she closed her eyes for a second. He lowered his eyes, breaking the hold on her briefly as they dipped down to her lips before returning to arrest her again. He held her breath as a prisoner. Was she imagining it or was the distance between them slowly narrowing? She had no thoughts. Her brain simply wasn’t functioning to think if this was a good idea or not. Their noses were nearly brushing when they jumped apart when the car behind honked its horn. Y/N realised the queue had eased and quickly put the car in motion. S.Coups turned to look outside the side window, his expression hidden from Y/N when she tried to take a glimpse. 

They arrived at S.Coups’ place a few minutes later. Tablo’s version of ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ played in the background as both occupants of the car stalled, not sure whether to mention the moment shared earlier. In the end, both had decided to ignore it. S.Coups thanked Y/N for the lift. He’d gotten out of the car and walked around to her side, leaning down to speak to her. A breeze sent her a whiff of his perfume again. 

“Well … thanks again.” Y/N smiled but didn’t say anything.

“I should get going. I mean, you should get going. It’s late.”

She nodded and bowed at him to take leave from the driver’s seat. She was about to roll up her windows when he called her name. With no formalities. The butterflies instantly multiplied. 

“Y/N. Text me to say you’ve made it home?” It was a question but it wasn’t. She nodded, slowly then quickly. 

“I saved my number on your phone. I, uh, I didn’t send myself your number.”

Who was this shy man? Was he the same person with the deep voice and passionate eyes? 

“Sleep well.”

Y/N placed her keys in the enamel dish by the entrance, took off her boots and walked to her room. She texted Joshua to confirm she’d made it and wished him a goodnight. She paused for a second before she searched through her contacts. She found the newly saved number under Coups. 

Saturday 27 January Hi, it’s Y/N.  I made it home safely. Have a good night. 23:20 Goodnight. 23:21

A week later, Y/N was getting ready for her first date with S.Coups.

#caratsland #seventeen #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #s.coups #seungcheol x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt #svt x reader #svt imagines #s.coups x reader #s.coups imagines #s.coups scenarios #choi seungcheol #my writing #hello sunset

[aihoshiino]

The Idol MV in general is absolutely befuckened with imagery I could spend days dissecting but I think the one that makes me the most Actively Insane, especially in the wake of 131 and 137 is this:

To the best of my knowledge this is basically the one and only time in the entirely of Oshi no Ko that we have gotten this close to overt Ai fanservice. The only other times I can think of are the split second acknowledgement of The Existence Of Her Boobs in volume/episode 1 but they go by so fast and are framed in such a comedic, even matter-of-fact way that it's hard to read them as particularly titillating (heh). This is very interesting given that the entire foundation the series is built on is (as I've said before) the friction between idol culture's fantasies of pure virgin girls and the reality of Ai as a person who has sexual desires and agency.

By contrast, this is overtly, effusively titillating (heh). It's drawn very much like typical anime fanservice with a focus on emphasizing the softness of her body and especially her breasts with how they're squished up against her arm. And yet… it's ALSO framed in an incredibly ominous light. She's backlit which casts most of her body in shadow and her hands are framing her face in a way that is clearly intentionally reminiscent of the yandere trance/Yuno Gasai pose. And she's layered with yellow caution tape that implores the viewer to KEEP OUT. Everything about this is so implicitly threatening and intimidating, at least in the framing.

This is the one singular time in all of Oshi no Ko that Ai is framed in such an explicitly sexual light — the one and only time she is shown to us as an adult woman who might have sexual ideas — and everything about the imagery and presentation of it screams that this is BAD and SCARY and WRONG. KEEP OUT.

Which is the entire point, isn't it? The idea of Ai Hoshino just existing as an adult woman with sexual agency is a threat to the existence of the pure and perfect idol, Ai. That's why she had to be destroyed.

I've said this off tumblr as a joke but I am becoming increasingly more serious in my belief that healthy and loving sex with a person who cares about her would fix so many of the things wrong with Ai's brain. So much of the self hate and anxiety that spurs her self destructive behavior is tangled up with internalized slut shaming and fucked up ideas about sex and sexuality enforced on her by idolhood and purity culture as a whole. Having good sex with a person who loves her, who lets her be dirty and greedy and self indulgent in something Bad and Wrong for an idol to do and accepts and loves her as she is regardless… well, if nothing else, I think it would calm her down a little. get that dick girl!!!!!!!

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #inducting everyone on tumblr into my Ai Hoshino Get Dicked Down agenda #i think she deserves it more than anybody else on planet earth

[crazyexdirkfriend]

Hi Tony i want to ask something of you. In fanon more often than not i see Jake becoming slightly more unhinged and unnerving as he gets older. Do you think this would hpapen canonically? Or are all these fanartsits and writers just projecting what they want from jake on jake

This isn't a hate on it by the way, I just realised the other day I see more often the idea of Jake becoming more unnerving as he gets older alongside Dirk and that i'd accepted it and I'm unsure if its canonically viable or not.

I actually think the nature of Jake is that people project what they want on to him-- be you an author, an audience, or a character within the text. It's an interesting concept because Jake is a character who is never afforded free will and even in fanfiction and transformative works made to give Jake free will, he's still a character doing an author's bidding ultimately.

There's a bit in Meat that discusses this with Calliope and Dirk iirc. Calliope wants Jake to have free will, but Dirk argues that Jake is incapable of free will. And truly, even on a metatextual level, the existence of a narrative voice renders basically everyone, but especially Jake, incapable of free will within a narrative.

I don't know if you've seen Revolutionary Girl Utena, but there's an exchange in Utena that I believe they're referencing intertextually here between Utena and Touga about Anthy. Utena insists that Anthy does not want to be the rose bride, and Anthy confirms this. But when Touga defeats Utena and takes Anthy as the rose bride himself, Anthy claims being the rose bride is all she's ever wanted. Touga then says Anthy is incapable of free will and her expressions of "wanting to be a normal girl" when with Utena were just Utena projecting her own wants on to Anthy and claiming them to be free will.

(pinch of salt, I haven't rewatched Utena in a few years, but this is how I remember the scene)

In many ways, this is what Calliope, and us as authors, do to Jake, and what in text Dirk is criticising as a concept. He's like, well I'm projecting my desires and wants on to Jake and you say that's bad but at least I'm being honest about it. I'm treating Jake like a puppet, but that's all he's ever going to be anyway.

Er. I think I've got wildly off topic from your actual question.

I think getting older in many ways is realising that being 14 is a state of mind and that's just who you occasionally are for the rest of your life. So yeah, I think ageing does come with this element of derangement. I have a lot of thoughts about Jake as effectively this ageing child star, put on a pedestal on Earth-C at 16 and it becoming insidious, exploitative.

Jake is self aware of his lack of agency on a literal level within the narrative, perhaps even of the narrative itself-- like a gilded bird cage of his own making and he probably could slip out between the bars but then who would he be, where would he go, would everyone hate him and abandon him? He'll just stay trapped, stay pretty on display, stay hurt until everyone probably leaves anyway because an audience is a very very fickle thing.

And I think that does sort of lead to an angle for me of Sunset Boulevard, tearing the yellow wallpaper, the starlet breakdown. Which is the depressing, almost Swift approach to it. And then you have the Ultimate Jake approach to it, the Snap. And yeah, I think historically Jake takes and takes and takes and bends and bends and bends and is called selfish for that and eventually that would snap anyone. If on top of that, he's aware of Dirk's actions and of the narrative, of being on display constantly even if he escapes that little bird cage, if the only way to ensure people stop fucking looking at him is to destroy the audience itself-- yes, I would accept that story as viable for his character.

[exuberantocean]

Last night I was watching some of 13's run (fanfic research purposes) and thinking about the sheer amount of abuse it is implied the Doctor went through as the Timeless Child. And what struck me is that there really is such an implication of loss of power and agency and yet I think the Doctor sees themselves as having a much more active role. Like, it's clear they're more than a little scared of what they would find themselves to be if they opened that fob watch - especially given they're role in Division.

And yet all I see is coercion and resistance. The Doctor clearly attempted to flee at least once, probably much more than once given the existential of the Fugitive Doctor. Tacteun makes snide remarks about the Doctor's morality getting in the way, which I give you could just refer to their post Division days, but I really don't think it does. And finally, the Timeless Child was tortured for decades by Tecteun. How many times did they regenerate in Tecteun's lab? She killed them, again and again, just to see how regeneration worked. Literally hurt and murdered a child multiple times. They had no choice but to join Division when Tecteun decided they would.

But, you know, assuming more agency than you have, more power, more fault, is not uncommon in victims of abuse. There is a warped comfort in it, because it is so deeply disturbing to acknowledge you don't. I gives a weird sense of safety to think that it was your fault it happened so you can control the abuse in some way.

This is especially true with child abuse. Blaming the caregiver that is abusing you, undercuts the idea that they can provide for you and keep you safe and since you needs them to do that as child aren't yet capable, it's common to shift the blame to yourself. If course people are complex and much like the Doctor, most people end with complex and contradictory views iof their abusers - blaming both them and themselves.

Moreover, since the Doctor was found by Tecteun, she also has a "your not my real mother" moment where she imagines that maybe, maybe Tecteun stole her from her real mom/parents, stole her from a much different, much better life. She has no way of knowing if she had loving parents on the other side of the wormhole or if they would have been capable of retrieving her if she did.

And yet, just a short time later, the Doctor relates to Ruby, I was abandoned. I was adopted. They really have no way of knowing what happened to them at that age. The news is still new. It's unstabilizing to their sense of self at a deep level (which is part of why I think 14 regenerated into a familiar face - how often do we seek the familiar and comforting when faced with these little earthquakes?). And so they have an unstable self-narrative of their origin. That makes sense, their very understanding of who they are has been deeply fractured. They are, of course, the Doctor. We know them, but they don't know themself.

#doctor who #meta #trauma #abuse #thirteenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor

[bestworstcase]

Any Summer Maiden ideas?

Not their identity per se, but rather their role or thematic undertones you think they might have in future volume/s? And how they might contrast to the other Maidens?

Or even the Maidens as a whole, especially as we slowly inch closer and closer to having a 'full set'?

i stand by the gillian theory and my general thoughts on what the maidens are for, thematically. if she isn’t gill, i think she’s definitely starr (& as outlined in the gillian theory post, between gill’s semblance and the ATMs i think the summer maiden might get hot potatoed without character deaths—in the form of gill temporarily stealing the magic by draining the real maiden’s aura with her semblance, or if gill is the maiden, the ATMs being used to permanently transfer half her aura to jax and that causing the maiden power to part from her and go to someone else, probably starr).

there’s also the ‘lessons’ and the divine quality associated with each maiden:

winter + creation + “learn to center yourself and think reflectively to gain awareness of who you are and what you can contribute to the world”

the medical neglect fria is subjected to as an woman with dementia deprives her of this ability, until penny treats her with compassion and dignity, which affords her a moment of clarity and agency in whom she chooses to be her heir;

likewise, penny is subjected to extreme dehumanization even by the standards of the atlesian military and the central conceit of her character arc is her struggle to assert her personhood; becoming the maiden intensifies this struggle and, like fria, she’s unable to escape it in the end;

so the winter maiden passes to winter, who embodied the lesson all along: “emotions can grant you strength, but you must never let them overpower you” + “we must still acknowledge our feelings, wrestle with them. it insures us that we’re on the right path. it’s what makes us human.”

the winter maiden arc is about the act of self-creation—how do we make ourselves human? how do we define ourselves? what does it mean to be a person? to become real?

spring + knowledge + “hard work can be its own reward” and “try to nurture the life around you and remember to ‘stop and smell the roses.’”

the last spring maiden, we’re told, found the burden to great and ran away. raven says that she “never learned,” no matter how much training raven put her through.

vernal, the false maiden, is presented as someone with incredible dedication to her tribe who has trained hard with the magic she was given. (and this is not entirely false: vernal is devoted to the tribe, and she has clearly worked hard to hone her skill.)

raven, the real maiden, “needed to know more” and went looking for the truth on her own; she tells weiss and yang “so far you’ve done nothing but accept what others tell you, but you need to question everything” and that “the truth is hard to come by.”

the spring maiden arc is about the effort it takes to uncover the truth, but also the effort it takes to conceal it, and the connecting thread between all three ‘maidens’ (real or not) is this idea of training-as-duty; something both of the real maidens are said to have ‘abandoned’ whereas the false maiden did not.

crucially, this arc is not over and won’t be over until we know what really happened to the last spring maiden, but the set up is toward an interrogation and rejection of this ‘training-as-duty’ conceit: hard work is its own reward, but it’s important to stop and smell the roses; ie, training and dedication to a cause is its own reward, but only if the cause itself is worthy. the last spring maiden was a child given too great a burden, raven left because she found that she had been deceived.

fall + choice + “be thankful for what you have and show your gratitude.”

amber is traveling alone when she’s attacked, with qrow tailing her at too great a distance to intervene; it’s unclear whether she was part of the inner circle herself. after the power is divided, they keep her on life support inside the ATM in anticipation of finding a new vessel for the magic still attached to her soul. no apparent attempt to get her actual medical care.

pyrrha is asked to become their sacrificial vessel for amber’s soul, for the sake of keeping the remaining part of the magic from recombining with its other half in cinder. she’s torn between feeling like this is an obstacle preventing her from fulfilling her destiny and fear that this is how she must fulfill her destiny, at the cost of who she is.

cinder—who had nothing—sees the maidens like this: “you think that hoarding power means you’ll have it forever, but that just makes the rest of us hungrier! …and i refuse to starve.” she’s the only maiden in the story who actively wanted to become a maiden and her chief role in the spring and winter arcs has been forcing the other maidens out of the vault-keys paradigm, through opening the vault (spring) or interfering with a machine transfer (winter).

the fall maiden arc is about freeing the maidens so that they can choose themselves; ozpin and his inner circle objectify the maidens and seek to possess and control them. the maidens are disposable, replaceable as long as the other side doesn’t get them. cinder represents the inversion of the fairytale moral, as someone who was deprived and subjugated for her whole life; “be grateful for what you have” becomes the wrathful “it just makes the rest of us hungrier.”

this arc is not over either; what remains is for cinder to let go of her desire for the other maidens and find a way to fulfill what she actually wants, which is freedom and safety. but because the fall maiden arc is so intertwined with the others—cinder as the violent liberator wrenching the other maidens out of this system—her presence in vale with salem has implications for how the summer maiden arc might unfold.

so.

summer + destruction + “don’t view the world at a distance, take an active part in it.”

as i discussed here, i’m skeptical that the mystery girl in B1 is the summer maiden. but if she is, or if she’s a presumptive heir, the secrecy surrounding her and the fact that she isn’t publicly known or acting in the open like winter and raven are would suggest that the inner circle hasn’t shifted its thinking whatsoever on the maidens: winter and raven are free because their vaults are open and salem has their relics, but the summer maiden must be kept hidden to safeguard her vault.

on the other hand, if mystery girl is a spy (emerald), then the summer maiden’s absence could suggest either that she is in hiding or that she is someone outside of the inner circle’s control.

because cinder isn’t in vacuo, i think the latter option is more likely—which is one reason i think it’s probably gillian first and starr becoming the maiden during the vacuo arc. if the summer maiden is already someone outside of, and antagonistic to, the inner circle, then there is no narrative need for cinder to be involved in the summer maiden arc; the summer maiden is already free.

(this would also allow for an interesting inversion of the last two arcs and mirroring with the second beacon arc, in that if gillian is the summer maiden, the crown will be gunning for the sword of destruction, and the conflict is not “how do we keep the key out of salem’s hands” but “how can we prevent an enemy maiden from taking the relic.”)

similarly, if the maiden is starr, then the crown is likely to be gunning for her and between the twins’ semblances and tyrian they certainly have the means to do it if they find her.

the other thing to consider with regard to the summer maiden is the history vacuo has with the sword, and how that intersects with the summer maiden’s theme of taking an active part in the world: eighty years ago, ozma used that sword to end a war and enact dramatic world-wide changes, and then he sealed it away with the presumable intent that it would never be used again. this is antithetical to the thematic purpose of the summer maiden and of destruction conceptually; the summer maiden must act, and destruction is a force which drives constant change.

if the summer maiden is part of the inner circle and on board with keeping the sword locked away at the top of the vacuo arc, i think it’s very likely that she will die, and the power will go to a character who wants to open the vault and use it to protect vacuo. whether that is gillian or starr or both at different points in the narrative, it makes sense to me for the summer maiden to be someone who decides that the sword must be used, for better or worse.

if gillian is the summer maiden, i think her determination to use the sword for vacuo’s sake in combination with her love for her brother might end up being the common ground between the crown and the coalition: they agree to help her heal her brother via partial aura transfer, she agrees to relinquish the maiden power, and everyone comes together to mount a counteroffensive using the sword of destruction. or the summer maiden power might end up divided between multiple people, with gillian keeping half and the half attached to the aura transferred to jax seeking a new host.

generally, i think it’s more likely than not that the summer maiden will break the existing pattern of [vulnerable dead/dying maiden] -> [“false” or “illegitimate” maiden] -> [freed maiden] and in that case the expectation that the initial summer maiden will die might be subverted completely. there is also something compelling about the summer maiden choosing to ‘destroy’ her power by dividing it, in a mirror image of the fall maiden arc.

although that being said i don’t think the maiden cycle itself will be ended, just freed from the artificial system of control imposed by the vaults and the oz conspiracy.

[cafeleningrad]

The shadow presence of adults an family in Utena

Currently I try to clear up some convoluted ideas about childhood innocence to agency through social indoctrination depicted in Utena.

Obviously the most present indoctrination happens by Akio's hands, and his extension the form of the panoptic, omnipresent, ever-acting system of Ohtori academy. But I did catch myself by the mistake to assume every child/teenage character in Utena is solely influenced by Akio. In fact sometimes adults do appear sparsely throughout the show, and it's always relevant. Like the guidance counselor as signal for the reinforcement of social rules, or Tokiko contrasting Akio. The characters enter the school already with knowledge of fairy tale structure (Wakaba's mother telling her tales of the Onion prince), Miki disdains his sister on sexist premises way before he's manipulated into dueling, Nanami already used violence on others to secure Touga's attention before she entered school. It can be argued that the world outside the school ground, the city we see in the background is an extension of Ohotori too. Thinking then how parents already primed their children already when they arrive at Ohtori, and how important the death of Utena's parents is to her, I do think the families of the characters are much more relevant to than the visual narrative of obscuring their faces lets on. ...or: I found a niche, and now I have wild theories. (This is definitely a very speculative post, my mind went on a slippery slope of theories.) Content warning for discussions and mentions of: Child abuse, death, manipulation, grooming, sexism in general.

I. Why do we barely see the face of so many adults? (If I claim that they're relevant?) First, Utena is, among many other themes, a story about maturing and leaving behind a lot of rules and ideals that hold people back from becoming a person. Most characters are aged from early to late teens. Highly relevant to the themes of Utena, this is a period of self discovery, detachment from previously installed beliefs, and discovering the possibilities of the the world. Although the latter points are halted by Ohotori and Akio. In that way it makes sense that the characters think more about themselves as independent with parents more on the sidelines. Further, only very few characters realize fully that they're part of a cyclical system, and are unknowingly but actively hindered to come to that realization. In that sense, it's not far off that they would blend out elements they themselves not consider relevant. Meaning, they wouldn't realize how formative their previous family life is to them but they get a new, aspirational role model of another adult.

Second, Ohtori as place with it's own logic runs by Akio's narrative. He's the one who chooses important characters, sets up important rituals with Anthy's help, and manipulates them to take on a certain journey - if they want to take it or not. For Akio it is vital that he imposes himself as the most present most visible adult in the life of Ohtori students. (Note: Either himself or Ohtori as systematic extension of his.) He wants to be the aspiration so everyone emulates the rules and behaviors he wants people to emulate. The only other adult with more screentime, clear personality, and visible face is Tokiko who is many ways Akio's counterpart. Although she,sadly, never interacts with any students at Ohtori during her visit. Side note: Akio often avoids being seen the direct instigator of events. Either Ohtori staff, social rules, and social life reinforce his ruling, her he manipulated others so much they act by his playbook. It also leaves his image untarnished. Touga is Akio's proxy on campus. Groomed to imitate Akio, Touga taunts others, especially men to imitate the idealized image of manhood. Close to graduation age, already using a lot of signifiers of grown up masculinity such as promiscuity, using a motocycle (but with a helmet) as approximation to a car, Touga is the entry level to emulation although Akio has the last word on how a person should finally act. II. Other visible adults a) Campus staff The only few adults with a face are campus staff. Namely the guidance counselor, her male colleague, and the music teacher. The former two exist to enforce Campus rules on the students. Either responsibilities for school prestige, or the dresscode. (The music teacher is a bit of an outlier at he's more of a point to Miki's and Kozue's contrast, Miki being allowed innocence whereas Kozue is not receiving any protection, but I would note that he abuses his position of trust for attempts to abuse Miki.) In every case it's save to say that they're all roped into Akio's direction.

b) Chida Tokiko Boy, I love Tokiko. In her short presence she carries the entire weight of the meaning of the Black Rose arc. She's also in juxtaposition to Akio. Also, she pretty. Alright, first who is Tokiko? Tokiko was Chida Mamiya's big sister who lead an entire research project at Ohtori Academy to save her little brother's life. She came in with abstract ideals to simply keep things in a never ending stage (stressed by her disliking to see flowers wilt) which Nemuro rightfully calls out as perpetual motions machine. In spite of her best interests, her project was hijacked and used by Akio to install a duel occasion for 100 male duelists. Her project ended in tragedy. Mamiya died anyway, over his anger Nemuro killed 100 students. Directly or indirectly, Tokiko being roped in with Akio's ideals did lead to high count of human loss, and her ideals failing anyway. Unlike Akio, Tokiko left Ohtori though. She visibly is marked by the events, has regrets, and misses her brother. On the occasion to visit his grave, she does return to Ohtori. However, with all regrets and sadness, Tokiko faced the tragedy and moved on. By seeing Nemuro, now Mikage, Tokiko comes to absolute certainty that eternity means a lack of progress for everyone. Given the fact that Tokiko could face a great deal of loss and tragedy, partly by her responsibility but still decides to leave and not to stay Ohtori, she is very much in contrast to Akio. Akio can't face his loss of ideal and "innocence". In fact he never reflects upon himself but artificially hinders everyone on campus to progress as people. Nemuro even gets punished by having his memories conversed to heterosexual interest towards Tokiko, in order to fit into Ohtori's narrative. Tokiko who has gained maturity, and accepted her loss is the kind of adult Akio should be but can't be because he clings on childish ideas which in practice keep everyone locked in misery. If the students ever interacted with a different example of an adult, they might not find a fancy role model but one which is far wiser than Akio. It's sad that the only alternative to adulthood never gets to interact with any of the students (even though that's kinda the point). The one who would have needed to speak to her the most to deconstruct is self-delusion and accept loss, doesn't recognize her anymore. Side note: Mikage is the student interacting with most adults. In the past it was Tokiko. In the present there're adults around him due to his academic importance, officials who ask for academic support, or his secretary. But notably we never see their faces, only hear their voices. All these faceless adults speak negatively about him, and ignoring the fact that in spite of his intellectual brilliance, and introverted nature, he's still very much a teenager who does have the inner life of a teenager. Considering that Mikage can't move on from his state of teenagehood, I speculate that Mikage doesn't pay attention to the age group, state even?, he can't become. Mikage doesn't even recognize Tokiko anymore. III. Relevant family lives So I mentioned in the introduction how the parents already send their children to school with preconceptions of social rules and dynamic. Some characters like Juri don't mention parents but siblings. I do think they're also relevant in the way the characters are able to understand affection. Families are not the only but still a highly relevant structure within children pick up on life philosophies, social rules, and especially expressions of affection.

a) Utena's dead parents I'd seen some speculations going around who Utena's parents might be but I don't think parentage is relevant. Thematically Utena is about liberation of harmful systems as well as modes of thinking. In Penguindrum, Ikuhara explores how certain families can shape us in much deeper manner. In Utena systematic imprints are much more abstract. That sounds a bit contradictory, so let me rephrase it: It doesn't matter who exactly Utena's parents are, however the fact that they're dead is highly relevant to her. The manga does reference Utena growing up at an aunt but more or less Utena is orphaned at an young age. This leads her to have idealized ideas of family, leaving her with a lack of experience to judge boundaries. By example, Utena might not like Touga but she misreads his acts of heroism, akin to her prince-ideals, as affection of an older brother. Or she's not weirded out by Akio accelerating their relationship from "friend of my little sister" to "you are like family". In general, Utena's lack of familial experience leaves her with a lack of knowledge what different forms of affection look like. Granted, Utena is 14 years old, and not the most senstive person still I noticed how often Utena is unable to formulate her exact feelings towards others. The friendship with Wakaba because in Utena's clear cut mindset girls who are close are friends (as Ohtori doesn't an offer another model how women could be close to each other) even though Wakaba having an earnest crush on Utena isn't unlikely. Apart from the fact that Ohtori is a forcibly hetero normative place, Utena is extremely confused by her feelings for Akio and Touga, but also for Anthy. She's getting manipulated to play act romance with these two men. But she also can't read others very well. At first she doesn't realize the animosity between the Karou twins, she doesn't take Nanami's outright rage towards her seriously until Nanami's duell goes overboard, she misreads the "friendship" between Juri and Shiori. Utena's only guidance in life is the prince ideal. For one it is the closest Utena has a model for agency but also as model for being loved and admired. Utena is entirely on her own to evaluate relationships.

b) The Kaoru divorce The Karou twins are in my eyes an easing introduction in themes of misogynistic treatment, and perversion of male-female dynamics leading to incest, but they're also the youngest in the cast. (Except Tsuwabuki, of course.) First we assume that their estrangement stems from Miki slutshaming Kozue, which is definitely at play but their estranged familial connection has another source. We only learn very late about the Karou parents getting separated, leaving their children behind. Both children are lost, symbolized by building up a birdbox for abandoned bird babies. Their family is falling apart. They need each other more than ever but have so much difficulty communicating with each other. Ohtori as a place reinforces the idea of a girls scoial inferiority, everyhting a girl does is getting evaluated and judged, it drives the wedge between Miki and Kozue even further. However, the twins learnt a gendered perspective by their parents. In the flashback of the the piano recital, Miki's allowed to rest and stay away from the recital. Kozue was unwell, crying, anxious, desperate to not play but her wellbeing is disregarded. During their parents separation the cause is father Kaoru leaving his family for another woman on his own beheast. The twins don't blame their own mother but approach their father differently. Both are angry at the adults in their life, Miki even states that his life is dictated by adults. Kozue absolutely disregards their father's letter. But Miki, praised for his maturity, states way too understanding phrases to his father on the phone. Miki also projects on idolized Anthy on his soon-to-be-stepmother. Who wouldn't leave everything behind for the ideal woman, in Miki's logic? Miki can only be this "mature" (actually, asked to not cause an authority figure any trouble) by trying to rationalize why he shouldn't be angry at his father.

c) Juri's nameless sister Even later than the Kaoru twin's family situation, we learn only in the final episode about Juri having a sister. In Juri's story, the sister almost drowned but a boy tries to save her, only to drown himself. For all heroism, Juri forgot his name. Later in Adolescence we learn that Juri was actually the one drowning, and Touga drowned for her sake. That might leave the existence of Juri's sister in a speculative realm. If we were to take it seriously, I would have some theories what the existence of a sister would mean to Juri. A sister is a very close relative. In this proximity Touga's death would still be close enough to Juri's experience but not close enough to herself. It's highly speculative if this falsification of memory is artificially altered by Akio to have Touga walking around not be suspicious, or, which I consider more likely, it's Juri's response to distance herself from the guilt for Touga's death. It wasn't her fault he died but she was the motivation behind his passing. Forgetting his name, having another person between herself and Touga could distance Juri from the tragedy. With Utena I noted, how Utena with the lack of any previous close conenction is unable to recognize, even less so name the nature of relationships she has. If Juri's sister exist that would mean that Juri is familiar with a close relationship to another woman which is not her mother. In that sense, she would know how a familial closeness feels like, and not name it by the next best thing. Therefore, she's able, unlike Utena, to recognize exactly that her affection for Shiori is of romantic nature. d) Does Saionji have a family? The text mentions nothing of that sort, everything else would be pure speculation. From Saionji's memories his biggest issue in childhood was the growing distance to Touga, and the worries about the little girl in the coffin (oh boy, did Ohtori lead you down the wrong path...) otherwise nothing else of note. For one reason or another, Saionji can't go anywhere after getting expelled. Why he can't return to a home is up for speculation. His parents kicked him out? He's too ashamed? He has no parents? Any guess is as good as mine. But considering that Saionji mentions no formative character in his life, no parents no siblings, I am led to believe that the lack of reference is for Saionji, like Utena a cause for him to have trouble to keep his distance from proximity being baited to him. Since his only relationship in his past seems to have been Touga, the only reference of connection is friendship. What once might have been healthy is an idea Touga taunts and uses against Saionji.

e) Did you hear about the Kiryuu's? Oh boy, this house is a nest of snakes. It's only in Adolescence we get a full picture of all the abuse that went down in this household but the impressions we get in the show are already horrific enough.

We learn that Touga and Nanami, related by blood siblings, got adopted into the family. Nanami is too young to remember, however that feeling that subconcious knowledge of not fititng right in seems to linger in the back of Nanami's mind: Nanami is in constant fear of ostracization, she projects all that of performing to peak social performance, by looks, by reinforcing social status by putting up schemes to sabotage others or literally beat others into submission, dressing in praised brand fashion, and making very clear that she's in no way like that shunned weirdo Anthy. She could never be that weird, laying eggs is totally normal, right?! In the instance Nanami does remember her parents, she remembers being shamed for being inadequate, especially by being genuinely herself gifting a kitten to Touga. She's also constantly alone, except for Touga. In an environment where Nanami is demanded to always correspond to the norm, facing scrutiny, letting her grow up isolated, it makes a lot of sense why Nanami would attach herself to the only person showing her kindness, her older brother. Nanami's only model of reference to to and being loved is a sibling dynamic, hence her fixation on Touga. It also means, Nanami wouldn't know any other model of affection except for this one, actually. Paired with her constant need to be the heart of the masses to proove total adaptation, Nanami can't let anyone get close to her because of her singular outstanding status, and she wouldn't also know how. Any concern of Utena about her, Tsuwabuki expressing in child-typical honesty that he wants to be close to her, are either met with anger or used for her own gain (something she probably picked up from Touga, too).

Touga's place in the family is the most brutal. He was sold by his birth parents for the explicit purpose to be abused. The fact that we do see see the adoptive's father's face in Adolescence leads me to theorize about Touga having a too clear, unshakable memory from his childhood trauma. (Sidenote: Hair in relation to emotional state is sometimes brought up with characters, long flowing hair standing for a person being free of restraint. In memories about Touga by people who idealize him, namely other boys like Miki, Tsuwabuki, and especially homeboy Saionji, touga has long hair. But Nanami who has less cheerful childhood memories remembers her brother with short hair. In his own memories Touga remembers himself having shoulder length hair because his adoptive father demanded him growing longer hair. Nanami and Touga's way less idealized recollections are much closer to the truth.) Touga's childhood was entirely shattered, and severed so many genuine bonds of those who loved him. It's very difficult to not not feel sympathy for Touga even at his worst sabotaging his relationships because at a very young age, what should've been the safest relationship, a caring family, has been utterly destroyed for him. To say, him being disillusioned and distrusting of proclamations of honesty is comprehensible. (Since this post branched off on thoughts I had on gaining agency within a indoctrinating system, Tougs acting fully concious whereas also blind towards his motivations is a point I can't help talking about again and again.) Touga is a very central figure in luring in other students into the idea of princehood, while also getting lost in it, so understanding why he adheres to a system that promises power of everyone else is highly relevant understanding why the system is so successful at perpetuating itself in it's own confines.

In conclusion: For both siblings, their parents were a big source of trauma. If not the formative trauma to prime the kids ideally for Ohtori's pathway into doom. Nanami is so afraid of being other-ed that she would do anything to be part of the crowd. On the flipside by fully adapting to it she's deeply afraid to question conventions, highlighted by the Cowbell of Happiness. Touga is so scared and angry for having been used, he would always try to control others so none can control him, he sees no way out of his misery.

f) Throwawaylines in the Himemiya household - non-relevant observation Probably not too relevant to the actual dynamic between Anthy and Akio, but there's this one line Anthy drops and never picks up again. it does drive me slightly insane. Anthy mentions that Akio does remind her of their father. Nothing conclusive of their obscure family life but I have speculated before how Dios died for an ideal externally imposed on him. This is not a relevant point at all, it's not even a point. But I wanted to bring that up because having no better reference for an alternative way would explain a lot with Anthy and Akio.

g) The Ohtori family So far we did have two terrible fathers, why not go with a terrible mother then? Alright, in the case of the Kiryuus', the mother is implied to be part of Nanami's trauma, Kanae's engagement is arranged by both parents. Only Mrs. Ohotori is the only present parent in the sense we see a vague figure, and a cut-off face. For a supposefdly prestigeous school the family supposedly run, it's also clear how under their name, terrible social practice part of the life at the school. They themselves arrange a marriage for their daughter right after their graduation. And Mrs. Ohtori sleep's with her daughter's fiancée. I feel inclined to not protect Mrs. Ohtori to get involved with Akio. Akio chooses his victims to be in many ways weaker than him. He chooses underage girls, namely neither Anthy not Utena have a family or any other social safety net. And Kanae's parents obviously wholeheartedly agree of her engagement with Akio, so Kanae can't voice doubts. (Or she's told to project on Anthy instead...) Further, Akio adopts his fiancée's last name as an indicator that marrying Kanae is him rising in social status, not her. His fancy apartment, the big telescope, all belongs to the Ohtori's. Akio's seduction is only sexual, he can't exploit Mrs. Ohtori on the base of less experience and power like the did to the girls he usually abuses. No big point here but to highlight how corrupted the adults running the central institution are.

Sort of a conclusion: Probably I spend more times and thoughts on this than needed. But I did spend a lot of time thinking about Tokiko and Kaoru twin's motives of leaving childhood and differing personhood by gender, sending me in onto further thoughts how the presence and also the lack of adults in the life of many students is relevant for understanding their motivation. Why would they have certain outlooks on relationships? Some parentages and familial are more nebulous, less relevant than others, too, although for some characters like Touga, the twins, or Utena, the relationship to their families mark the starting point of their journey.

#Revolutionary Girl Utena #RGU meta #my most rambliest post yet

[sinfulequity]

There’s one thing I’d like to note about Amane’s thumbnail, outside of the confetti (+ the thread wrapped around the pole, as @gunsli-01 pointed out) being colours associated with the cult. And it’s something that everyone else has noticed; the lack of any other colour.

Gunsli, a friend of ours and I was talking about it and I remembered that colour deprivation was a form of torture. Or, to use another name for it,

White torture!

“Electroshock, waterboarding, and a thrashing- These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl- But the cult accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction White Torture!” - Gunsli (This is a joke.)

For those unfamiliar, white torture is comprised of denying the victim any sensations, slowly eroding at their mental state and their sense of self until they break. Though, to use better descriptions (which, again, thanks to Gunsli for finding and formatting some of these for me)-

The prisoner is locked in a completely white, soundproof room. The color white is used to hit all the senses:   The sight: White lights are coming from neon tubes positioned in a way not to create any shadow, and the prisoner is dressed in completely white clothes.   Hearing: The room is soundproof or alternatively it is located in a remote place where voices cannot be heard. In this latter scenario the guards stand in silence and use special padded shoes in order to avoid causing any noise.   Tact: All surfaces are smooth   The taste and smell: Each day they are served white food, usually unseasoned rice to deprive them of the senses of taste and smell. Although it may seem less formidable than other corporal punishment, this torture leads quickly to hallucinations and has long-term adverse effects. The prisoners can be kept in this state for months or even years, and once outside the room the psychological consequences will be permanent.

All in all, it can be emotionally devastating at best, and definitely not something people would expect a 12-year-old to be put through. This form of torture would propagate the kind of mentality that the cult would want in Amane. It would not only shake her faith in her own perceptions of reality but create a vulnerability in her. They can then exploit this to strengthen her faith and commitment to their cause. Or to use marketing ideas, creating a need for the product they’re selling; albeit, more proactively.

“Oh, yeah the reason that the pipe/baton may have the thread around it is because white torture involves the removal of textile sensations as well as color. Guards even wear padded shoes so the prisoners can’t even hear their footsteps. The fact that the thread is not only colored but a textile sensation may allude to Amane adding it for comfort or so the baton had some physical sensation.” - Gunsli

I wanted to touch on this comment here, in conjunction with the thread colour.

With the idea of white torture in mind, I believe that there’s a chance the member that represented Green(Gachata) was the one who directly inflicted this on her. However, I’d like to explore all the possible interpretations. Before that though- There’s another thing to note, the member represented by Yellow(Yuri) has the most “conventional” form of punishment out of everyone here. That, including the fact that Yuri is the one that looks the most upset about having to punish Amane,

could indicate that he did try to provide support while the punishments went on. Hence her usage of yellow as the only tactile thing in her thumbnail. To be more specific, the only tactile thing that she had some sort of agency interacting with. Though you could also argue that, since his punishment was physical beatings, that it was the only one with heavy/hard physical contact. Especially when taking into account the other punishments were electroshock, waterboarding and white torture. All things that can involve minimal or no contact with the victim.

Something else to note, is while Yuri and Gachata have secondary colours (Yuri having a splodge of green and Gachata having red highlights), Red (Riyone) and Blue(Gozake) do not. That, included with Amane having all of their colours on her, would indicate the influence that each member has on the other. In other words, Amane was influenced by everyone. Yuri was influenced by Gachata. Gachata was influenced by Riyone, and Riyone and Gozake weren’t influenced by anyone. Incidentally, Amane’s “wings” are also the softer pink on Riyone’s outfit, despite the fact that she already has the more vivid red.

On the colour sharing thought, Gunsli pointed out that it might be how each member is connected to each other (i.e. Gachata being Riyone’s kid and having pulled Yuri into their association). Going off of the colors alone she speculated that Riyone was possibly Amane's mom and Gatchata her older brother. Yuri is more than likely a friend of Gatchata's or someone they met and brought into the cult and Gozake a higher up within the cult that works alongside Riyone. (Possibly even a second husband but she said that's just an assumption.)

However, she does disagree with me in regards to who enforced white torture. Gunsli feels as though it would make more sense for Riyone to be the one to do so, since she’s already associated with light. This, in conjunction with the pink on Amane and how it’s hidden under the white of her outfit until the “transformation” scene, makes a more cohesive narrative. There’s also the fact that there’s no pink confetti depicted within the thumbnail. Secondarily, while Riyone’s colour is red, with pink highlights, she is mostly depicted in white. With pink, red and grey highlights, in order of how frequently they show up in her design.

Another possibility is that Amane was consistently being punished through the use of white torture, and each member’s punishment was an intentional breakage of that. This would make Gachata’s punishment more likely to be something like sound torture. If it was done this way, it would subconsciously reinforce the idea that the only people who contribute to her sense of self are the other members of the cult, while also amplifying the impact of their actions being a punishment for her transgressions.

The cycle of punishments starts with Riyone. She either uses light torture or electroshock. The main colours depicting her form of punishment is a luminous yellow with a backdrop of a duller yellow. We’ll get back to this, but this seems to represent her specific type of punishment. Her expression changes from when they found Amane, being at peace/harmony as opposed to the dead eyed stare that was given before. This is a tad unnerving, since out of the four, this is the expression closest to happiness we see in this loop.

Secondly, we have Gozake. He appears to have picked waterboarding as his style of punishment, though we are unsure which form. The main colours that appear here are various shades of blue, save the bubbles that have highlights of white. This makes it possible that he was acting on his own ideologies. His expression on this scene is also different from the discovery scene, which appears to be more upset/disheartened. Though I do have to state the caveat that his expression is a lot harder to read since we don’t see his mouth in either expression. It would be interesting to find out how much context would be changed if we see his mouth.

Thirdly, we have Yuri. He goes for a simple pummeling for his punishment. The colours used for the physical effects here are some small yellow ones and a large overall pink one. This likely indicates that Riyone suggested this punishment to Yuri, and that Yuri is following Riyone’s ideology with regards to this punishment. This doesn’t stop him from looking upset and uncomfortable, however. This is an expression that stays consistent from the discovery to the actual consequences; the only one to do so out of the whole group.

Lastly is Gachata, who seems to have used sound torture. The colours used for the sound effects are red and green, in the order of how frequently they are used. Though I believe it should be noted that the green ones are closest to Amane’s body. It is extremely likely that Riyone also suggested this for Gachata to use. His eyes are closed,  and he looks like he’s either concentrating on his actions or trying not to focus on the implications of what he’s doing. Another thing to note is the fact that he has the same expression as Riyone in the discovery scene (a dead-eyed stare), though it is undercut by the glasses he wears.

(To add on the idea that Yuri and Gachata were unwilling participants, Gunsli wanted to point out how Amane was punished by them as a group of three.

As you can see, here Gachata flicks her on the forehead as a punishment instead. And while the background is the same yellow that's used in association with Riyone's punishment, the actual impact is more of a light blue. This is a blue that is associated with Amane. Both in her prison straps and on her birthday art. It is then followed up with all of them hanging out happily-

"Will you laugh with me and forgive me? I promise! I can only become a better girl!"

-until Riyone and Gozake show up.

Incidentally, as Gunsli spotted, while Riyone is looking at Amane. Gozake is looking at Riyone, as if awaiting orders.)

In the Magic MV, it loops through this cycle of punishment five times, though the last two are zoomed in on Amane. From what Gunsli and I put together, the most likely option is that the punishment escalated until reaching white torture. This seems to be depicted by this scene-

Along with the line that leads up to this scene,

"Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl. I hope, I hope everyone can be happy and smile. Forever, forever together would be a dream."

As you may have realized, the black is used as the main backdrop for Amane’s punishments, so the fact that she’s shown isolated, save for a single spotlight is… telling. And even after she transforms, to the joy of everyone, the stage is still a solid black, denoting the place she’s standing currently is a place of punishment.

Gunsli would also like to note that it's interesting that when the punishment ends, there's a lightning strike (also known as natural electricity) behind Amane and she is bestowed a lightning wand. The element related to Riyone's punishments. This, in addition the full reveal of pink on Amane, also makes this scene come off as a passing of the baton of sorts. Possibly showcasing that Amane may now have the power to punish people with her wand/lightning rod and the ideology of Riyone acts as her "wings", carrying her higher up the ranks.

After that it departs from chibi to the regular style. Amane waves her wand, background transitioning via star wipe into a blue, before walking out of it, the stage returning back to normal. This is likely meant to represent her leaving the white torture room. Again, this is a similar blue to her birthday art and prisoner strap. The stars, on the other hand, resemble the luminous yellow in Riyone's punishment. Stars are also a natural form of light, one of the possible methods of reprimanding Riyone used. Another important detail is that in this scene, the white on Amane's clothes gets illuminated, washing out everything else.

After that, she blows a kiss at the viewer, joining hands with the other members before the credits roll-

-before it glitches out, reflected in Amane’s eyes. However, the only thing reflected is the empty stage, the cult’s symbol on full display.

Closing Notes:

It very much appears that Amane has undergone several forms of torture as a punishment. Not to mention that, if we're right, this was coordinated by her mother. It would be a good idea to keep this in mind, especially since Amane has likely been re-traumatized due to the voices the guilty prisoners have been hearing.

“How about we not continue to torture the literal torture victim this round. That'd be great.” - Gunsli

As for me, I agree with Gunsli. Amane’s been through enough, as is.

#milgram #Amane Momose #thoughts #cw child abuse