#especially when they or your family weaponizes their diagnosis

[eve-is-a-terf]

i'll die on this hill: it is NOT ableist for glass children to be resentful of their disabled sibling. you're not a bad person, you're not a bigot.

#eve's posts #glass child #glass child syndrome #ableism #especially when they or your family weaponizes their diagnosis #and this obviously is not limited to people with siblings with physical disabilities #tbh people whose siblings have adhd or autism or other neurodivergencies aren't talked about enough

[evita-shelby]

A different sort of man

Chapter 6

Gif by: @bimorgana

Taglist:@thegreatdragonfruta @zablife @look-at-the-soul @midnightswithdearkatytspb @cillmequick

Cw:mentions of a past abortion and pregnancy

“Do you think the other you would mind me redecorating this place?”

Alright, so they were drinking, they said the words and fucked after that.

And they did it exactly and they woke up in the same place.

“We already ruined his life, why not?” Tommy ran his hands through his face as he tried to stomach another day in this place.

Gossip had gotten out of hand like a brushfire, now everyone knew that he had cheated on his wife not even a week after the wedding with a widow two years younger and far richer than her.

Even worse, Lady Smallbrook had allegedly fucked her husband to death.

Had these been strangers, Tommy and Eva would be riveted to follow this scandal from a respectable distance, but they were the suddenly infamous Mr. Shelby and his mistress, Lady Smallbrook and living the nightmare it was.

Section D had briefly reconsidered their contract until Eva decided to turn the tables on them. They were undefeatable, especially now that Eva’s magic is somehow stronger now.

She had managed to find their deepest secrets, all their allies and wore the cursed sapphire like a weapon.

It kills its wearer, now it kills those who wish its wearer harm.

Not even God himself was going to stop her from killing that fucking priest.

It has been ten fucking days since Eva woke up in a universe where not only she is married with a boy of nearly three, she is also pregnant.

The other Eva hadn’t known yet, or if she did, she hadn’t been sure.

“Congratulations, Mr. Shelby.” The doctor ---who she pretends to know--- gives her not-husband the wonderful diagnosis after Eva had a fainting spell propelled by tweaking the curse on the sapphires. “If I were a betting man, I would wager it’s a girl.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

She likes children, does fine with them as Thomas has seen with Carlitos, but this is something she is not ready for.

Motherhood.

The one thing she has been avoiding these past four years is happening and Eva does not have the luxury of discarding the parasite inside her with tansy like she did with the one last year.

“Another one that is mine and yet isn’t.” he said pouring himself a drink.

They had been trying not to fall into old habits, but somewhere between the memories of a future they could have had and their own wretched melancholy, they had sought comfort in the only way they seemed to know.

He is a little tame, but Eva knows no other person has made her feel this way in a long time.

No wonder the other her was so loath to part with her Thomas Shelby.

“Please, you are not the one denied the luxury of choice.” She said fighting the urge to ask for a drink.

“When do you think we can try again?” Shelby asked looking out the window out of habit.

“Next full moon. We have to do everything they did and pray the other two do the same.” The witch answered with a pout.

Tommy and Eva Shelby had been drinking, joked about what their lives would have been if she had never ratted Grace out and fucked around the same time this Thomas had wondered how different his life would have been if he had offered Eva a ride home that morning and regretted ever seeking Grace in London that night.

A shame that it didn’t occur to Eva that maybe the missing ingredient was another full moon and a fuck.

“Once we get back, I can introduce you to some lawyers who could get you your son back.” The perks of being made of money and having as many connections as a spider web has silk.

Her cousin, favorite cousin in fact, had plenty lawyer friends on both sides of the Atlantic especially now that he was the Chief Lawyer for the Family.

And if Ignacio can’t work his lawyer magic, there was Santiago and Tio Patricio’s lover, Frida ‘Florence’ Solomons, to ensure Shelby gets his boy back.

“At least argue for visitation rights on account of her telling you and your family the boy was yours.” She amends when he shook his head at the suggestion of literally removing the boy from Grace’s custody.

“I can fight my own battles, Lady Smallbrook.” He said making sure she knows he doesn’t want to be in debt to another rich overlord.

“Not offering to fight it for you, Tom. Merely offering to fight it beside you.” She said before adding. “As a friend.”

A friend who has held him as he cried from nightmares and pretending to be his wife all while the universe screams at them saying this is the happiness you denied yourself that day.

“Alright, but I get to choose how and who we fight.” He agrees after glancing at the lighter engraved with a quote by Yeats.

God, why does that feel like a declaration of love?

#eva smith shelby #tommy shelby x oc #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x oc #eva smith riley #a different sort of man fic

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

Rise Donnie HEADCANNONS

Massive fashionista. He actually loves and enjoys fashion the most.

He collect a bunch of fashion magazines and reads them on a daily.

He'll actively judge anyone's fashion taste (especially Leo's) and gossip about it 24/7.

When Jhanna (My AU) decided to be with him and join his planet, he immediately took her shopping and helped her pick some nice outfits.

His favorite games or GTA5, Minecraft, FNAF, Call Of Duty and League of Legends.

Hates Genshim Impact. Eventually warms up to it but doesn't favor the game much.

He had the fattest crush on Springtrap and once dreamed that he proposed to him at a candle light dinner and they got married. Also ended up adopting 3 kids-

Loves sci-fi movies. Him and Leo will ramble about it 24/7.

Him and April gossip about everything.

Allows Raph to hang out in the lab whenever he wants to and let's him know about his newest, latest or future projects.

During the events of s4 (my AU) and onward, Donnie started to genuinely open up to his brothers and loved ones. He was way too nervous and horrified he might lose his loved ones due to the situations they were in. So he decided to open up more. That led to him realizing sometimes it's okay to open up your feelings and to not try and cover them up or ignore them.

When mutants, yokaid and humans start to live peacefully together, Donnie (plus his other bros) went to a psychologist. Because he always felt like maybe there was something wrong with his behaviour when he looked back at them. That's when he finally found out he was autistic. He actually felt relieved when he finally got a proper diagnosis. While him being autistic doesn't excuse some of his behaviour or some of the things he has done, he is happy he finally got an explanation of sorts as to why he behaved in a certain way.

Donnie did feel as if him being autistic made him the black sheep of the family or seemed like he didn't belong with his loved ones. Contrary to his expectations, he was accepted and still loved. (Disclaimer I am NOT a proffesional when it comes to mental disorder or just disorderd and illnesses in general. If I get something wrong please correct me and educate me on things like autism and etc!!!)

Contrary to popular belief, he almost NEVER swears. He does at times but hardly ever does. He only drops an f bomb if he is SUPER pissed. He is 4th when it comes to swearing.

Has a massive storage of Uranium hidden in his room.

Was allowed by Draxum to mess around with some of his old experiments and chemicals.

Will judge whatever bad taste you have in certain media.

Apart of several reddits where they cringe at various things.

If he had a TikTok, most of it would be roasting or making fun of influencers for their crap and drama.

He began making more weapons for his brothers and him after the Kraang invasion. He was way too paranoid to possinly lose them so he wanted to prepare them just in case.

Acts like a top but is a bottom.

In reality is a malewife. Thank Jhanna for that.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt fandom #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie #rise donnie #rottmnt donatello #rise donatello #rise of the turtles #rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #tmnt headcanons #rottmnt headcannons

[oc-aita]

AITA for curing my son’s cancer?

So, a bit of background: I (43 F) had a son who would now be 17 years old. When he was 12, he contracted a particularly nasty form of brain cancer, one which modern science just was not equipped to handle. However, I previously worked as a government researcher and during that time I was tasked with a secretive project using extraterrestrial DNA to develop highly regenerative medicines. Although the project fell through (long story, for another day) I was able to secure the primary specimen for my own use.

Around the same time was when I found out my son, who lived with his father (41 M) was in the hospital with his condition. His diagnosis was poor, so I pulled some strings and was able to use the technology I was developing, along with pieces of the specimen’s brain and spinal cord, to save his life! Or… so I thought. It turns out that when I did this, he no longer had any memories of his life prior to the treatment. Obviously I was distraught, as this meant that this body was pretty much just an empty shell that used to house my son. As far as anyone else knows, including his father and step-family, he is deceased.

Now, here’s where I think I might be the asshole. Even though the experiment failed to save my son, I still recognized that this subject could be useful for other purposes. So, I put him through some tests with other experiments that needed testing, including the prototypes for my ultimate weapon (for self-defense, I assure you! I have many enemies) and to test what effects the implantations had. As I suspected, he was able to use latent psychical powers unleashed by the introduction of the extraterrestrial tissue (I and many of my colleagues theorize their species is capable of using their brains in this way) but he was also quite damaged in the process. Of course, I used much of the remaining tissue from the specimen to repair his body, and if you ask me I think this made some vast improvements to the standard human body plan. Unfortunately, one of my work colleges who I employed got quite upset about this, and told me that this was “unethical” and “disgusting to do to any child, especially yours” before quitting. I of course silenced him for knowing too much, but his words have stuck with me.

The subject that uses my son’s former body has indeed become quite useful to me, and as he doesn’t remember anything before his most recent surgery he’s more than loyal. I have even tasked him with accompanying the finalized version of the weapon his body helped to test in rounding up stray experiments, and he shows great promise. He has no idea about our previous relationship, and I would like to keep it that way for obvious reasons. I really don’t see how I could be the asshole here considering that I did everything I could for my son, and now I’m even caring and providing for what used to be his body even though I really don’t have any obligation to. So, AITA?

#original character #am i the asshole #aita #unreality tw #ask to tw

[tumbleweedtech]

Forgiveness

There's something that's been bothering me, for a long while. Well over a year. I'll put it under a cut because it's quite long.

It's in the way people apologize, and what they expect to come from it. If you harm someone, either deliberately or by accident, you owe them an apology. I'm aware that within courts of law this has consequences. I'm not talking about that level of harm or responsibility. The social contract is, when you harm someone you apologize, and attempt to right the wrong done. I was raised in a heavily catholic family, in a christian-centered community. I am not religious anymore, but I'm aware this informs my experiences, so please note I'm leaving the floor open to anyone else who has experienced a culture who treats apologies differently. In a very christian viewpoint - apologies aren't the important part. The forgiveness is. They insist it makes you christ-like, to forgive those who have harmed you. It's what Christ did on the cross, right? They know not what they do. Your god will forgive you if you apologize (confess) and attempt to right your wrongs (repent). This, I feel, has seriously tainted how people raised in a christian culture view apologizes to each other. I was abused as a child. I have been told, many, many times to forgive. Forgive my abuser. Because that forgiveness makes you christ-like, right? My forgiveness matters. Not that my abusers ever apologized or even recognized the wrongs they did. But that doesn't matter. They even try to twist it. "Doesn't living with that anger twist your heart? Forgiveness is freeing! You don't have to carry it around!" Actually, no. It protects me. I have not and will not forgive them, even if they were sorry. It reminds me that I must never, ever go back. That I must treat people better than I was treated. But where am I going with this? In a Christian-centric perspective, an apology is assumed an absolution. You have apologized, therefore the other person not only forgives you, but your faults, your sins, your crime? Are wiped clean. As if you confessed to your god, apologizing to your friend for hurting their feelings, the harm you have caused has been erased. Christ has risen again, your friendship has been repaired. In a christian perspective, there is no harm that is irreparable or irredeemable. Christians Parents have forgiven their children's murderers. This is a perspective entirely alien and unfathomable to me. But in the eyes of their god, in their religion, they have done what is right and holy. Their relationship with their god is safe

But relationships with other people does not work that way. Your relationships with other people are not your relationship with your god. When you harm someone, and you apologize, you do not automatically get forgiveness. It's not assumed. Especially if it's a shitty fucking apology. I've seen some incredibly shitty apologies. Refusal to take any sort of responsibility, blaming their mental health, their variety of diagnosis, even blaming the person they've harmed for reacting to shitty behaviour.

It's entirely possible to apologize for only your part in a situation in which you have both done wrong. "I'm sorry for accusing you of X. I should not have assumed Y of you, and when I said Z I was out of line." The other person may have responded with hurtful or harmful things. Hell, they may have even started it. But your feelings, your reactions, your words, are all your own responsibility. I have friends with plenty of diagnosis. Bipolar disorder. RSD. ADHD. Autism. Depression. Anxiety. None of this has stopped them from being kind, thoughtful, caring people. It hasn't stopped them from checking in, from apologizing when accidentally causing harm. I also know people who use their diagnosis as a weapon. They have X, Y, Z diagnosis, that's why they behave like an asshole. They make being a selfish, self serving, and thoughtless asshole a part of their personality and insist that because of that you should just understand and accept that. And if, in the rare instance that type of person attempts to apologize, it's never a good one. It's always "Well, you made me mad." or "You upset/triggered/annoyed me". Don't get me wrong - triggers are big and valid and a whole other discussion - but it's a word that's thrown around sometimes as a shield to explain why someone is not responsible for being nasty to someone. I'm off in the weeds. The point I'm coming around to is that these people surround themselves with reasons why you cannot criticize their behaviour (to a reasonable degree, ofc) and then they apologize.

Which in a christian-centric society, they not only feel like should solve any interpersonal issues that came of the disagreement/argument/harm, but should absolve them. I've said absolution quite a few times. But what does it mean? It means that they believe that it removes any consideration from this in the past, or in the future. As far as they're concerned, it no longer ever happened, because they have been forgiven and it will not be brought up again, nor will it impact the relationship they have with the person they are apologizing to. This is not how relationships with people work. If you harm them, an apology will be considered a step towards repair. Changing your behaviour to not harm again is a big step in repairing the relationship and trust. If the person forgives you, it does not mean your behaviour will be forgotten. It means you're being given a chance to prove that you will be better. It does not mean that your behaviour will be forgotten and everything will time jump back to before you made a bad choice. And it does not mean you get to harm them again. Because if you keep behaving that way? Keep harming people in the same way over and over again? You're not actually apologizing. And if you keep the same behaviour repeatedly, you do not deserve forgiveness (or absolution), because it's proven that you don't mean it. You will just keep on going, over and over. And when that's the case? Well. People need to stay angry at you, to remind themselves that you do not mean your apologies. You just want the chance to harm them again.

#Long post #I was thinking about forgiveness today #and what people expect from it #and why people get so angry when they've apologized and people are still hurt

[gendrie]

Do you ever feel nervous about loving Arya and asoiaf so much? I do. I love Arya. I have, ever since i first read the books, and i love her chapters, and her character, and her arch, and everything about her. She is (one of) the main reasons i love the book series so much. I have been a fan for more than 11 years now. I cant tell you how many times i have reread her chapters. A lot of times, i promise. So i have faith in the character i know, a character that i know i know. But sometimes, i just get so nervous. I know a lot of it's because of what the show did to her, what certain parts of the fandom make of her, but i worry. That i got her wrong, that i got her character wrong, that i got who she is wrong. Sometimes what George Martin says about her, despite calling her his favorite character on multiple occasions, definitely contributes too. I can ignore what the show said or did, and i can ignore the nonsense from the ridiculous fandom as well, but when he says stuff like that, about her always going to kill someone, about her being a psychopath, kinda just guts me. Cause it so contradicts what i read in his books, what HE wrote in his books. I mean, he wrote them, he wrote HER and he didnt write her like that, like a psychopath. He wrote her like a traumatized girl in the middle of a war zone with nowhere to turn, a girl who loves her family and her brothers and her home and only wants to go back to whatever's left of it, who is caring and moral and just and someone who sees the injustice and cruelty and utter horror around her and wants to make some right of it. How does he write her like that, and then describe her in another way? Am i reading it wrong? Did i get it wrong? I dont think i did. But i am not arrogant enough to not question myself at times. Especially when he says stuff like this. What's your opinion/outlook/thoughts on this?

oh yeah, i can totally relate to that. not just regarding arya’s character but also, in particular, with arya/gendry. i didnt have the arrogance to never question my theories either. which all came to a head with the s8 finale. i sorta got validated on the latter, for a euphoric period of like 2 weeks, before it all came crashing down. that was definitely a turning point for me and my feelings re: asoiaf. i approach the series (and the fandom) in a very different way now. 

for me it was not easy to discount the show because, in all honesty, i don’t know that it’s ending was entirely different from the one grrm is planning. unfortunately. there was certainly d&d fanfic in there (ie: arya’s characterization in general, qitn s*nsa, jaime and cersei’s death, bran as king of the 6? kingdoms as opposed to the north) but i’m not certain about a lot of the other plot points; including arya’s endgame. i think the issue is going to be that the ending grrm’s intends to write, the same endgame he has had in mind since the very beginning, no longer works for the characters. the narrative has outgrown it! grrm has said himself numerous times “the tale grew with the telling” but for some reason he won’t let the ending evolve too? and that’s frustrating for me. i cannot begin to tell you how sick i am of storytellers who can’t properly outline. these days that applies to most of them. 

but the endgame only matters if grrm can finish the series. i don’t think he can. regardless, his opinion is fairly irrelevant to me at present. he was never going to view the series in the same exact way that a lot of us do anyway. he’s a 70 yr old man. most arya fans are young women. totally different perspectives. his comment about arya being a psycho is flippant, hyperbolic, and gross but do not let it make you think your interpretation of the text is "wrong". first of all: the people harping on about this are fulltime clowns with an agenda. they’re desperate for any ammo against arya, to justify wanting her to die in a ditch, so they wield this thoughtless diagnosis of a mental disorder against her like a weapon.

but arya *is* a caring, smart, brave, traumatized child with nowhere to turn who easily makes friends, and loves her family. she bandaged her worst enemy. she took mercy on those criminals. she has put herself at risk multiple times to help others. those things are true. she is also extremely desensitized to violence, as a child solider, and associates the ability to kill with safety/survival. arya is not a "good” victim. arya bites back. she is angry, fierce, and capable of inflicting harm. her wrath is directed towards worthy targets but arya is still a little girl with a monstrous side, literally and figuratively. she doesn't share her heart and mind with a fearsome direwolf for nothing.

so no, you’re not reading anything wrong. there is no such thing. this is something i have only developed a true appreciation for post s8. what you take away from the books is yours. do not let a man who can’t even do his job ruin that with a couple dumbass comments. besides, his ultimate goal for her arc is unknown. we've all got theories but it’s impossible to get an objective, full picture, without it. and like i said an asoiaf endgame? unlikely lol. this is going to be a chose your ending for everyone. i have completely embraced that mindset. arya stark is my number one, my forever girl. i will interpret her how i want and envision an ending (or several) for her that i want. i would encourage you to try and do the same. it’s a much more enjoyable mindset. 

#hopefully this is coherent #i havent talked asoiaf at length in awhile lol #but it was nice to do so #ask #asoiaf nonsense

[violentviolette]

ASPD diagnosis anon again.

Thank for responding, I really appreciate it.

You mentioned your bipolar diagnosis affecting your rights/freedoms, what did you mean by that? I ask because personally, I have lots of things i need to address, and process, but therapy as a whole just seems like a massive risk. I'm not asking for a "do this/dont do this," I guess, but more of your perspective and experiences.

Thanks again, just let me know if it's too personal. :)

so in the us at least, it can affect a lot. bipolar disorder is considered a legal disability tho and is protected under the ADA so some of these things u can fight, while others u cant

things like workplace or educational discrimination for example, both are required to provide accomodation for bipolar individuals, but them knowing ur diagnosis at all puts u at risk for discrimination. i know most places wont hire u if they know that upfront, and in some fields (like medical, govt work, ect) outright state that u cannot have a mental health diagnosis like bipd in their field and they straight up will not even consider hiring u

it can affect ur ability to get or renew a drivers liscence, especially specialty liscences like CDL's and motorcycle

it greatly affects ur medical treatment overall. ive had problems with some dr's not taking me seriously because they see i have a bipd dx. i had a bone tumor the size of a baseball in my shoulder for years and when i told dr's it felt like i couldnt breathe and that something was pushing my shoulder out they dismissed me as being a hypochonriac and told me to talk to my therapist. i also need to make a point to appear put together when i see certain dr's or else they take it as a sign im declining mentally

were often at an increased risk for involuntary hospitalizations, especially if healthcare workers believe u to be manic or having an episode. this leaves us more vulnerable to things like guardianships/conservatorships. it is much more likely for judges to rule against us in cases where someone is challenging our legal rights or trying to gain prolonged control. this can be especially dangerous for people in abusive relationships or with abusive parents.

it also counts negatively against us in family court proceedings. judges are much less likely to side with a bipolar parent in custody cases and it's much easier for partners, family members, and the state to seize control over ur children

we also cant buy or legally carry any kind of firearm or other weapons. even knives that are legal to carry for others can become issues for us if the law becomes involved. we're much more likely to be given harsher punishment and prison sentences, and more likely to be mistreated in police custody

overall tho it's about weighing the pro's and cons for u personally. for me with my bipolar, i Need medication or i will go insane and kill myself and so i really had no choice there. u need a diagnosis to access bipolar meds consistently, wheras with something like aspd, u dont need a diagnosis to access treatment so it was easy to keep that one off the books

generally tho, unless ur out here telling ur therapist ur about to shoot up the grocery store or kill ur dog or throw urself infront of traffic, getting hospitalized when ur just seeking average talk therapy is fairly unlikely. hospitals are overfull and the mental health system is way overworked and understaffed and most places dont want to fight with insurances that dont want to cover stays. so u do generally have to be saying some extream things to risk being coded currently, at least in my experience. ive been held for 24hr stays before, but never longer than that. they almost always dont have a bed and so unless ur really losing ur shit infront of them they dont want to have to keep u.

also if u seek out dbt centered therapy and resources they tend to be better about handling hearing the nasty symptoms without getting too nervous. things like issues with empathy and anger management are much more common for patients seeking dbt. it also helps if u tell them these things upfront. this makes u appear more self aware and in control, which works in ur favor and makes it less likely they'll view u as an active threat to urself or others. but it really just comes down to what ur looking for personally

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #bipolar disorder #bipolar 1 #no worries anon not too personal i hope some of that was helpful for u

[thelotusbiotech]

Understanding Multiple Myeloma: Separating Facts from Fiction

Introduction

Multiple Myeloma is a form of blood cancer originating in the plasma cells, which are crucial immune system components. In multiple Myeloma, abnormal plasma cells accumulate in the bone marrow, crowding out normal cells and interfering with the production of other blood cells. These cells, when affected, can lead to a cascade of health challenges.

Multiple Myeloma might be a rare occurrence, and its prevalence deserves attention. According to recent statistics, this blood cancer is slightly more common in men than in women, and the risk of developing this cancer increases with age. Understanding this isn't just for scientists and doctors – it's for everyone.

Myths about Multiple Myeloma

Myth 1: Multiple Myeloma is hereditary.

Contrary to popular belief, Multiple Myeloma is not necessarily hereditary. While a family history might slightly increase the risk, most cases occur sporadically. 

Myth 2: Only Older People Get Multiple Myeloma.

While the risk of multiple myeloma increases with age, it can affect people of all ages, including younger individuals. It is not exclusive to older adults.

Myth 3: Management of Multiple Myeloma is very painful and requires extensive radiation and surgery.

Modern treatment approaches aim to minimize discomfort and enhance the quality of life for patients. Medicines like Thalix 100mg Capsules have transformed the landscape of Multiple Myeloma treatment, offering a more tolerable and effective path to recovery.

Facts About Multiple Myeloma

Fact 1: Multiple Myeloma May Fracture Bones

One of the harsh realities of Multiple Myeloma is its impact on bones. Thalix 100 mg, in combination with other therapies, can help manage bone complications. Understanding this fact underscores the importance of early detection and intervention in preventing severe bone-related issues.

Fact 2: The patient's stem cells are extracted and utilized in bone marrow transplants for Multiple myeloma patients.

The process of utilizing a patient's stem cells in bone marrow transplantation is a remarkable advancement. This personalized approach reduces the risk of complications. It increases the chances of a successful transplant, offering hope to those undergoing this crucial aspect of treatment.

Fact 3: You May Get Shorter If You Have Multiple Myelomas.

Bone-related complications in Multiple Myeloma, such as compression fractures, can lead to a reduction in height. Thalix 100 mg, coupled with other therapies, aims to alleviate these effects, emphasizing the importance of a comprehensive treatment plan in managing the disease's physical impact.

Diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma

To understand Multiple Myeloma, a comprehensive diagnosis is required. When you suspect something is wrong, your doctor will conduct a detailed examination, considering your medical history and asking about any symptoms, such as

Bone pain, especially in the spine, chest, or hips.

Nausea.

Constipation.

Loss of appetite.

Mental fogginess or confusion.

Tiredness.

Infections.

Weight loss.

Imaging tests, such as X-rays and scans, provide a closer look at what's happening inside your body. Blood and urine tests play a crucial role in detecting abnormal proteins that may indicate the presence of Multiple Myeloma.

Treatment of Multiple Myeloma

Once diagnosed, the treatment begins, and understanding the multiple myeloma treatment options is crucial. 

Stem Cell Transplant: This procedure utilizes the body's stem cells, harvested and enhanced in a controlled environment before being reintroduced. This method rejuvenates the immune system, providing a renewed defense against Multiple Myeloma.

Chemotherapy: Chemotherapy is a cornerstone treatment employed for Multiple Myeloma treatment. Think of it as a powerful weapon designed to combat and control the abnormal plasma cells causing trouble in your body. These medications work systematically, targeting and disrupting the growth of these abnormal rogue cells and regaining control over the body's blood cell production.

Corticosteroids (Steroids): Corticosteroids, commonly referred to as steroids, are another tool in the arsenal against Multiple Myeloma. These medications work by suppressing the overactive immune response and reducing inflammation caused by the abnormal plasma cells. 

Immunomodulatory Drugs (IMiDs): Immunomodulatory drugs, known as IMiDs, are a modern advancement in the treatment of Multiple Myeloma. Thalix is a well-known IMiD that contains thalidomide 100 mg. This drug works by adjusting or modulating the body's immune system response. Thalix 100 mg specifically targets and disrupts the growth of Multiple Myeloma cells, providing a more targeted and tolerable approach to treatment.

While chemotherapy fights the rogue cells directly, steroids support the overall treatment strategy, and IMiDs like Thalix 100 mgbring precision to the battle against Multiple Myeloma, promising a more manageable and practical approach.

About Thalix 100 mg Thalidomide Capsules

Thalix 100 mg Thalidomide Capsules is a form of medication containing thalidomide 100 mg, a key player in multiple myeloma management. Thalidomide in Thalix interferes with the cancer cells' growth mechanisms, particularly in conditions like Multiple Myeloma. It's like a precision tool that disrupts the abnormal myeloma cells (cancerous plasma cells) and slows their multiplication.

Benefits of Thalix Thalidomide 100 mg Capsules in multiple Myeloma include:

Precision Targeting: Thalidomide stands out for its precision in targeting cancer cells, particularly in conditions like Multiple Myeloma. It homes in on the abnormal myeloma cells, disrupting their growth mechanisms with surgical precision. This targeted approach minimizes damage to healthy cells, a critical factor in reducing side effects.

Slowing Cancer Cell Multiplication: A key benefit of thalidomide is its ability to slow down the multiplication of cancerous plasma cells. Interacting with the abnormal growth mechanisms curtails the unchecked proliferation of these cells, contributing to managing diseases like Multiple Myeloma.

Improved Outcomes in Multiple Myeloma: Thalidomide, as a critical component in medications like Thalix, has demonstrated efficacy in improving outcomes for individuals battling Multiple Myeloma. Its role in inhibiting cancer cell growth contributes to disease control and enhances the overall effectiveness of treatment strategies.

Management of Inflammatory Conditions: Beyond cancer treatment, thalidomide has shown benefits in managing inflammatory conditions. It exerts immunomodulatory effects, regulating the immune system response. This broader utility highlights the versatility of thalidomide in addressing diverse medical challenges.

Conclusion: A New Frontier in Cancer Treatment

Thalix 100 mg Thalidomide Capsules are a breakthrough medication in cancer care. As we move forward, it represents not only a medication but a symbol of resilience and progress in the ongoing battle against cancer, offering hope for improved outcomes and a brighter future in cancer treatment. Notably, thalidomide buy-online options provide a streamlined approach, ensuring that individuals can quickly secure this critical medication. This convenience fosters a more accessible and efficient means for patients to embrace the transformative potential Thalix 100mg holds in cancer care.

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[deveshkanoongo]

Early Warning Signs of Lung Cancer

Lung Cancer: A Stealthy Threat

Lung cancer is a formidable adversary, often lurking silently in the body until it reaches advanced stages. As one of the leading causes of cancer-related deaths worldwide, early detection is crucial for improving survival rates. Understanding the early warning signs of lung cancer is the first step towards timely diagnosis and effective treatment.

Persistent Cough:

One of the most common early symptoms of lung cancer is a persistent cough. While it's normal to have occasional coughs, if you find yourself coughing consistently for more than two weeks, it's time to pay attention. Lung cancer-related coughs may produce blood or a change in the character of the cough.

Chest Pain:

Chest pain that worsens with deep breathing, laughing, or coughing can be an indicator of lung cancer. This discomfort may feel deep in the chest, shoulders, or back and is often associated with advanced stages of the disease.

Shortness of Breath:

If you experience unexplained shortness of breath, it could be a warning sign. Lung cancer can obstruct airways, making it difficult to breathe, even with minimal physical exertion.

Unexplained Weight Loss:

Sudden and unintentional weight loss, especially if it's significant, can be a red flag. In lung cancer, the body may expend more energy as the cancer cells grow, leading to weight loss.

Fatigue:

Fatigue is a common symptom in many illnesses, including lung cancer. If you find yourself constantly tired, even after adequate rest, it may be worth investigating further.

Hoarseness or Voice Changes:

Lung cancer can affect the nerves controlling the vocal cords, leading to hoarseness or noticeable changes in your voice.

Frequent Respiratory Infections:

Frequent bouts of bronchitis or pneumonia, especially if they don't respond well to treatment or keep coming back, could be a sign that something more serious is at play.

Coughing up Blood:

Hemoptysis, or coughing up blood, is a concerning symptom often associated with advanced lung cancer. Even a small amount of blood in the sputum should prompt immediate medical attention.

It's important to note that these symptoms can also be caused by conditions other than lung cancer. However, if you experience any of these warning signs and they persist or worsen, consult a healthcare professional promptly. Early diagnosis is crucial for effective treatment, and in some cases, it can make a life-saving difference.

Moreover, for individuals at higher risk of lung cancer, such as smokers or those with a family history, regular screenings like low-dose CT scans may be recommended even before symptoms appear.

In conclusion, knowing the early warning signs of lung cancer is essential for taking proactive steps towards your health. Lung cancer, when detected early, offers a better chance of successful treatment and a higher likelihood of survival. If you or someone you know experiences any of these symptoms, don't wait; seek medical attention promptly. Your lungs are precious, and early detection can be a powerful weapon against lung cancer's stealthy advance.

[darlingkara]

Nevermind the loose dirt. It's my 99 cent grocery store plant rescue that I am trying to save via better soil/re-potting and with bread ties, and my little tiny espresso. The stems were brown when I got it, but I don't think she is gonna make it. Taken a few days ago, but seemed like good photo for this post.

I woke up WAY too early. Again. I either stay awake for like 25 hours, and sleep 8, or the usual 16 hours and sleep about 4 hours. I have had 3 sleep lab tests done (albeit years and years ago) when I kept falling asleep. This was before I had this weird habit I have now. I slept normally back then. Diagnosis: Narcolepsy and non-24 hour sleep cycle (Circadian Rhythm Disorder?). I was a bit blown back, to be honest, especially by Narcolepsy. And guess what? The MD had to report it to the DMV, if I did not. If you have a driver's license, it is stated on it AND you have to be medicated while driving. The medicine was Dexedrine, or pretty much @mphetamine. Makes sense-- Can't be falling asleep while driving. I stayed awake, and my depression lifted. Any MD's reading this-- Please consider it for treatment resistant depression. I never felt hyper on it (I felt nothing, tbh) which would of course, lead me to being diagnosed with ADHD*.

So now, I am an unmedicated ADHD and sleep disorder gal of a mess, hahaha. But I am happy, or at least content. I think it has gotten better, or I have learned how to deal with it. I could not do now what I did in my unmedicated 20's-- Full time school, full time job and a kid. Nope. I have ZERO idea how I did it. The narcolepsy mostly went away. I WILL fall asleep at the theatre, so don't bother inviting me, especially in Plague Era that 99% of people refuse to admit still exists. And it is 50/50 in any dark situation, regardless of how well rested I am.

Luckily, I can now work when I want (other than 2 days a month), and do not have to drive. I do have to set an alarm for three days out of the week for class (it is used as a take a shower and get ready alert bc I keep waking up before it, lol), but luckily it isn't early. I LOVED driving, btw, and I loved cars. But as an American, what else are you supposed to do? Tangent, but... I would re-do SO much in the USA if given the chance. Like...Public transport and social housing. These are looked down upon in the US, which makes it seem SOOOOO odd to me now. Plus the whole gun thang. Sorry, but I will never change my mind. The 2nd Amendment was written for MUSKETS. We have drones now. If you feel the need to open carry a weapon of death to the grocery store, there is something wrong with you. Sorry, not sorry.

I am not exactly against hunting (if you do it for food, not sport). When I was about 12, we moved** to a mostly hillbilly area (not making fun of them-- I mostly like them dern hillbillies, and one of my BF'S was one since I was TWELVE... Though I have not been able to find her since 2021 or early 2022. Covid or went Trump, I do not know. I will continue my search. Her having the most generic name in the English speaking world does not help)). And well, my first look at hunting was not pretty. Dead deer legs, sticking out of truck beds. Like, everywhere. People told me this was normal. I literally vomited and remember thinking and saying, out loud at lunch, ''The fuck, this is NOT normal. Throw a TARP over it, for Christ's sake.''

*Btw, girls and women are SO good at hiding ADHD. We are typically not hyper or rowdy. If we are, it is within our safe spaces, with friends. If your sister/mom/gf/wife tends to forget things you have told her, seems unorganized or stressed over little things, gets bitchy before leaving the house with you, look into it first and do not get upset.

**I was not an Army Brat, but my family did move a lot (6 times, to different states), and it was not because of financial instability. Yes, my parents worked for the government, but not in any military way. So--I learned a new term-- TCK-- Third Culture Kid (also applies to adults). We are GREAT at fitting in anywhere, more empathetic, less racist (bc sometimes, even being white, people are racist if you are the minority. Trust me, I know personally, and it was horrible), tend to attend university more (not saying all should).. But of course there is a catch.

We probably have attachment disorders on all sides. I didn't get the overly attachment type, luckily. If anything, I need help attaching. And I do not have ''the itch'' to move. As an adult, I rented the perfect house for me and my minion at the time. Great school district, fenced in (by chicken wire on one side for most of the time) backyard, walkable to the downtown area in 3 mins, and I was allowed to plant a garden and paint, etc. I did have to mow the effing backyard when my weirdo neighbor went away every summer. Fucker never told me when he was leaving, but the grass length did. I lined the fences with gladiolas and ivy and had a gas BBQ and a nice table and umbrella. I would let my kitties out every now and then, but only when I was there-- they could escape if they wanted to. One was a serial killer, not even kidding. A Persian, fluffy, serial killer. I got minion*** a slip and slide, hahahaha... We threw some pretty good backyard parties. All of my neighbors were snobs. Like Harvard asshole snobbery. Anyway, I lived there the longest-- almost 11 years. My landlord wanted to sell it, and it was sold within about a month and a half. THAT SUCKED and was not expected... Thought I had about 5 or 6 months.

I had to go live with my mother, as she lived in the school district minion was in. Worst decision of my life. I love my mother, and she was really a great mother, but something went CRAZY in 2002 and again in 2014, that I am not yet capable of discussing on a public forum. Thinking of substack. Like a $4 a month thing. This is shit that horribly affected my life, and I needed therapy for-- as an adult. Shit that when I think about, even 8 years later, I still tear up. And I am NOT a cryer. As a mother, she was awesome! She told me to avoid beauty magazines, taught me how to plumb and do home repair, said chose your religion when you are an adult if you want to, and sooooo much more. My father was really great, as well. They stayed married for FAR too long. I think I was about 25 when they got divorced, but it was over my mom being selfish with her health insurance and cutting my dad off. He had a disabling heart attack when he was 42, and died in 2007. My mom cutting off his health insurance was fucking brutal.

The dude was ALWAYS on my side. So, I still say hello from time to time to my mother. Most importantly, I talk to minion, but he is busy working and crushing on some girl, his best friend's girl. They work together and he hates his job. He is waiting for her to give the okay for them to both leave and work somewhere else. I said DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE--- EVER!!! He sent me a pic of her and said that sometimes she drinks too much and gets sexual. I was like OMG.

She looks like me and that is what I did when I was younger. Freud, are you out there? It's me, Kara.

And I have lived here the second longest.

And I want to die and be buried here. Every year, there is a free concert, ranging from classical music to rock music, held at the cemetery.

5-30K people can come listen to music, drink a bit, dance, and have fun. That the cemetery I would like to be buried in.

If that is morbid to you, you are not invited. :)

***Minion is now an adult. I am not worried about his financial future (everyone born after The Boomers got fucked, let's be honest)because luckily, I am a Black Sheep, and he will get my inheritance. Good for him! Since I am 34-99 years old (haha), I will not tell you how old he is. Yes, I was married and he was planned. I was TOO young-- but when your spouse made $80k a year in the early 2000s, you figure, nice, I will just raise minion, and then finish school. That did not happen the way I had it planned. The ex husband is still wealthy and lucky, and it pisses me off. If you knew the full story, you would understand. Let's just say that one brutal character mentioned in today's blog had a lot to do with it, including my parent's divorce. I swear it is not some Jerry Springer shit, and they did NOT bang, and luckily, my father and I were together when we found ''the letters''. The Brutal one would end up doing MUCH worse things than having feelings for her daughter's husband, and yeah-- it is personal.

Life is 50% unplannable. I do believe in luck, and I do believe in you get what you give, although I LOATHE woo woo pseudoscience bullshit.

I will NOT be camming tonight. My theatre thing begins tonight. It is only once a month. Last week, I couldn't have a schedule because I still have periods, which are very predictable, but this every 18 days shit is a bit new. Usually its every 25 days, abnormal is under 23 days in between periods. Went to the dr, had hormone levels taken. Good news-- I am NOT an alien. Bad news is that the tests prove pretty much nothing. I am having about 5 more periods a year than normal-- so about half the year. Great. Of course I now have to a dailytake high-ish dose iron supplements. I believe I have peri or pre-menopause which literally NO ONE talks about, yet it affects HALF of the population. And pre or peri-menopause is WORSE than menopause. Menopause is easy street, so I have learned. Some days I am nice and patient, other days I want to bite your face off. Sometimes I am horny, sometimes I seem asexual. When my roommate/ex bf of like 12 years (No, we do not bang and maybe once a month I fall asleep in his room watching a movie), DARES to shut MY room's window or turn off MY fan, especially if I am sleeping and wake up hot, I am literally thinking:

''I could kill you, and if half the jurors were women 35+, it would be an excusable homicide.'' I am not a violent person at all, btw, in any way or sense. I am learning as I go along. Surprise, surprise, there is not a whole lot of research on it. Reddit's Menopause has been a Godsend.

In the one racist area I lived in, I was ''jumped'' by 3 or 4 girls who basically PLAN attacked me, outta the blue. I won. All almost 5 feet of me. I learned about adrenaline and JFC, I get strong and mean if I think I am gonna die. I kicked dirt into their eyes and kicked their throats. How fucked up is that? I was maybe 11 years old. I did not and do not know how to fight. Is is something instinctual? I have no idea and too many research topics as it is. All I knew was that there were three of them, one of me, and they were larger and taller than I was.

Anyway, off to shower and go to my classes. Idk if I will cam after the theatre or not.

And you would not believe what I found when I took out the garbage, shortly after writing this (within the hour). It is not a popular name here, afaik. I will post it on Twitter @DarlingKara.

#tck #narcissistic abuse #fights #jerry springer #e girl #perimenopause #amy

[hello-nichya-here]

"Psychopath" Azula

"Azula is a psychopath." Everyone in the Avatar fandom has seen many people claim that - especially Azula fans, and it's often in an unnecessarily aggressive way and comes right the fuck out of nowhere. To say that it is a popular, but controversial headcanon, is an understatement. But does it actually make any sense? And if it doesn't, then why do people insist that it is canon? (Warning: this analysis is incredibly long and does not consider the comics because they should never, ever, ever be taken into consideration due to shitty writing)

The Fandom Problem

I've said it many times, and I'll keep on saying it: Many fans (and by this point even Bryke) view Azula exclusively through "crazy monster lens." To them, Azula is not a character with a personality, flaws, qualities, fears, goals, feelings - she's insane. And evil. That's it. That is her "motivation" for everything she does.

The possibility of her having ASPD (or any personality disorder and/or mental illness) is not meant to make us think "What does this mean for her character in the context of the story? How can it affect her arc? How does that recontextualize some of her actions and WHICH of her actions does that diagnosis recontextualize?" People don't slap the label "psychopath" on Azula to start a conversation - they do it to end it, especially if subject was the mere possibility of her being redeemable. At "best" that's a way of labeling her as a broken child that can never be saved and that was always doomed and that no adult could have ever helped (especially not her mother or uncle). At worse, it's seen as the equivalent of finding her finger-prints on murder weapons - which murders? ALL OF THEM! Don't you know Azula is responsible for everything bad that ever happened in the story? Including the beginning of the war itself (never mind that it started nearly a century before she was born).

You can rarely find any non-biased discussion on whether Azula has ASPD, because, since many fans want her to be a "psychopath" so they'll have an "unbeatable argument" to say she could never be redeemed, they'll just insist that this label fits her without offering any real evidence. It's not even "Guilty until proven innocent" it's "Guilty because I said so."

But does she have ASPD? Well, before we can even begin to discuss traits of the disorder, we need to put some very important things into context.

Azula's Personality And Background

Cold, Precise, Deadly - Azula can be difficult to understand at first, especially if you try to look at her through “Good or Evil” lenses. At first, she might look like a typical bad guy - she’s on the wrong side of war, is absolutely ruthless, likes to taunt her rivals/enemies, and has no problem with manipulation, kidnaping, invasions, coups, or murder. She can even be a threat to the people she cares about if they’re in her way or are refusing to help her.

However, people often forget her main traits: Pragmatism and perfectionism.

Azula goes to great lengths to have control of everything, including herself and own emotions. When she’s on a mission, her focus is solely on being successful - it doesn’t matter if said mission includes threatening one her best friends, capturing her brother and uncle, invading a city (or staging a coup), lying, double-crossing, taking prisoners/hostages, or even killing someone (again, including family). 

It’s not personal, it’s about finding the most effective way to achieve her goals, and avoiding being punished by a guy that she knows has no problem with being extremely cruel to his own family. It’s also a matter of survival - this is a war after all, and hesitating can mean not just failure, but also the death of your allies and your own. Zuko had problem fighting her to assure his own survival/success, Sokka of all people has a higher body count than she does, and even the past Avatars looked Aang straight in the face and said “Murder ain’t that bad, kid.” Azula IS scary and even deadly, but the she only ever attacks “fair” targets - people who are in her way somehow. 

Azula follows the rules. The problem is she follows the Fire Nation/Ozai rules.

1 - Never, ever, ever, ever, ever go against the Fire Lord.

2 - Do anything to assure the Fire Nation wins the war

3 - Don’t ever allow traitors to get on the way, even if said traitors are your family.

4 - Be a proper lady/princess (that includes her polite bichyness, devotion to Ozai - her father who is not a traitor AND is the Fire Lord - and, of course, getting rid of traitors)

She did horrible things. She’s also a literal child-soldier. This can NEVER be over-looked. 

Mixed Messages - I often see many people claim that Ozai was trying to turn Zuko and Azula into imperialists, while Ursa was trying to save them from that. I really wanna know what version of the show these people watched, because it simply cannot be the same as the one I saw.

Azula was taught by both of her parents that what their nation was doing to the rest of the world was 100% acceptable, and Iroh agreed with it too for most of his life. The difference is that Ozai said that, as royalty, aka superior people, they were allowed to look down on everyone, including people of the Fire Nation - regular people, rich people, soldiers, commanders, admirals, generals, nobility, and yes, even their friends and family.

Ursa and Iroh meanwhile, went for the “It’s only acceptable to be an asshole to the people who are not one of us” approach. It looks morally superior to Ozai’s approach at first, but it’s actually more of the same, with nothing but favoritism and hypocrisy added in. But it is different enough for them to be upset at Azula, which naturally confuses and irritates her because, from her point of view, Ozai’s approach makes more sense (likely because she was a child, and it was easier for her to understand something that was consistent instead of a rule that had exceptions). The fact that he was the parent giving her positive attention certainly didn’t hurt Ozai’s chances of having Azula side with him.

Ozai eventually becomes Fire Lord, while Ursa is banished, Iroh ends up in prison, and Zuko manages to become crowned prince again after Ozai taught him a harsh lesson about respect and knowing his place. Since she’s pragmatic, that confirms to her that her father was right, but then when the finale happens and she’s losing everything she’s starts questioning that mentality...

...Except she was already questioning it before the finale.

Almost Isn’t Good Enough - Azula’s humanity and vulnerability shines through for the first on The Beach - very fitting since the episode is set in Ember Island, which both a place where Azula and Zuko used to go to “back when their family was actually happy” and a supposedly magical place that reveals your true self.

Following that logic, Azula’s true self is conflicted 14-year-old that is obviously unhappy and unsure of herself, but suppresses those feelings as much as possible.

She was supposed to be having a great time since everything is going right for her nation, but quite clearly feels empty, and during that famous scene of her saying “My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right of course, but it still hurt” we find out something very telling that completely changes the way we look at her character (or at least it should): She doesn’t think she’s unhappy because her methods (Ozai’s methods) are wrong, but because she herself is problem that needs to be fixed - and nothing seems to do the trick. Azula is a perfectionist who believes herself to be fundamentally broken; damaged beyond repair. It’s pretty hard to think of a worse combo for someone’s mental health.

Trust Is For Fools - I feel these words are the perfect way to describe the tragedy of Azula’s character. No matter how many doubts she has, how much she’s suffering, how unfullfiled she feels, how bad things get, how scared she is, how lonely she is, and even how desperate for help she is, she will never ask for said help. Because she taught her whole life by the one person she still has left that needing anything from anyone makes her weak, worthless and a failure. Her downfall is so shocking and sad because it’s a character who always tried to convince everyone, including herself, that she didn’t need any kind of support falling apart, breaking down, and finally, literally, crying out for help.

The Fire Nation/Firebending Problem - This one is so important to understand her character that it's own post, but the basics are “Being a half-human, half-flame thrower your whole life is likely to fuck you up, especially if you grew up in a place that constantly told you to just wreck shit when things don’t go your way”

https://hello-nichya-here.tumblr.com/post/673864636667510784/understanding-azula

How Therapy Actually Works

One thing that people often screw up when trying to see if Azula fits the criteria for literally any mental illness/personality disorder is that they work backwards from that conclusion and try to prove it right, ignoring any evidence to the contrary and basically making up things to support it. Confirmation bias is a very real thing, and doctors are very careful to avoid it while diagnosing a patient.

As for the treatment for ASPD if Azula did have it, it would NOT require a complete personality change, but constant therapy, policing herself (which she already does), support from friends and family, and some medication. But most of all, it would require her to be removed from the deeply toxic and unhealthy home-life she had.

Okay, enough context - does she have ASPD or not?

Actual Traits Of ASPD

Disregard For Social Rules And Behavior Standards - Azula doesn't have this trait. At all. The main problem with her character is that she holds onto the values, rules, laws and standards of her society when she shouldn't.

Difficulty To Maintain Relationships, But Not To Start Them - This is a hard one because while Azula's relationships all fell apart, we can't forget that indoctrination, war, and a dysfunctional, neglectful, abusive family played a really significant part in it. And when it comes to easily stablishing relationships, that is also not so clear-cut, since she succeeds in militaristic settings (she won the Dai Li with just her intimidating, yet inspiring personality) but she doesn't really know how to act "normal" (which could be a sign of a disorder like autism, or just a consequence of trauma and indoctrination). I'll say this one is inconclusive.

Lack Of Empathy - Before I even go into this one, let me make one thing clear here: EMPATHY IS NOT THE SAME AS COMPASSION! Empathy is merely the understanding of what someone else is feeling. Low empathy doesn't mean someone is cruel, and high empathy doesn't mean someone is nice.

Does Azula have empathy? Sometimes, and the level gets higher or lower depending on the situation/who she's dealing with. She can tell when a prisoner is lying or telling the truth just by looking at them, and she often knows what people want to hear, but other times she seems oblivious to other people's feelings (this also ties into her throwing bread at the turtleducks - animal cruelty by itself isn't a trait, and this behavior is pretty low on the cruelty scale, but it could possibly show a lack of understanding of why it is wrong to harm living creatures, even if just a little). We can't say if this a result of nature, nurture, or both, but we can at least say that, while her empathy is not that high (sometimes) it also isn't all that low.

Lack Of Remorse/Guilt - Nope. The Finale makes it pretty clear that is being consumed by regret and it causes her breakdown. Considering her perfectionism, she'd probably struggle with self-loathing and guilt a lot after the day of the comet.

Violent Tendencies - As I've said on The Fire Nation/Firebending Problem, there is nothing in the show that indicates she's more violent than any other firebender (including Aang and other Avatars), and she actually shows incredible restraint. Hell, her ability to combine firebending's impressive, destructive power with a more cold and calculating approach is what makes her so scary and it even leads to her being compared to lightning itself. She's so completely in control that even when she's out of her mind she can still generate lightning despite it requiring peace of mind.

Blaming Others For Their Own Mistakes - Once again, no. She tries it in the finale by labeling Mai and Ty Lee as traitors, and "Ursa" (aka her own mind) won't let her do it. Considering how she says she is a monster when she was merely a misguided child who was failed by every adult in her life, and how she's terrified of disappointing her father and feels bad for not being what he wanted even though he shouldn't be demanding so much of her, Azula seems to have a pattern of holding herself accountable for things that were in no way her fault.

Being At Least 18 Years Old - I call this one "The requirement for an ASPD diagnosis that Azula haters refuse to acknowledge exists." People can't be diagnosed with any personality disorder until they're at least 18 because the human brain takes a long time to be properly developed and one's brain is their personality.

Irrelevant "Traits"

One frequent mistake people make when discussing if Azula has ASPD, is to list "traits" that are NOT traits of ASPD, or of literally any disorder (and again, some that she does not even have anyway), and since we've already talked about actual ASPD traits, lets take a look at what the arm-chair psychiatrists are making up inside their own little heads.

"Unchildlike" Behavior - Throughout the show, Azula does a bunch of disturbing things that indicate she’s is trying to imitate her father, suffering from trauma, and possibly has some kind of disorder. That is not what I’m talking about now. 

I’m talking about the people who claim that Azula doing things like calling her brother by embarrassing childhood nickname, lying to him because he’s guillible, being annoyed that he got a cool gift he actually liked while she didn’t, destroying a doll, and pushing her friend because she was jealous said friend was better than her at something are signs of a disorder or EVIL. They’re not. If these things were proof of sociopathy, we’d have label 90% of all children as sociopaths.

Azula mocking Zuko’s scar was her crossing a line. Azula being a petty, bratty kid was something completely ordinary could have been easily corrected just by properly explaining to her why what she did was wrong, and not letting her have dessert after dinner if she did it again. 

Azula "Always" Lies - Azula is really good at manipulating people, and she does it a lot, that is undeniable. However, we only ever see her doing that when it's either a matter of survival or to deal with someone that is in the way of her goal/mission. We get a slight a hint that maybe she used to lie to Zuko a lot as a child to trick him into embarrassing situations... but that's something many children do to their friends and especially their siblings. It's also very funny that people use Zuko's line of "Azula always lies" to say she's basically a pathological liar, when the first time and only time we hear that is when Zuko is refusing to believe an uncomfortable truth.

Insanity - Insanity is not a medical term, it's a legal term. Labeling someone as "insane" means they cannot be held accountable for their actions due to not being able to understand the gravity of what they did or not even being aware that they did anything. In the finale, Azula's mental (and emotional) stability has deteriorated considerably, she's seeing things that are not real, and she's far more reckless and paranoid, but we don't know how long this condition will last, if it will get better, if it will get worse, etc. What we do know is that insanity has nothing to do with being a "psychopath", and people only think it does because "the mentally ill are dangerous."

Being Mean/Difficult - In the wise words of some random tumblr user whose blog's name I can't remember now: not every unpleasant experience is trauma, and not every asshole you meet is an abuser.

Also, being mean, being a bad person, and having ASPD are completely separate things.

Having "Evil" Blue Fire - No, this is not a joke. Someone really said that Azula fire is blue because she's evil and cruel. Apparently the fact that blue fire is hotter and "cleaner" than red fire and that Azula, aka a PRODIGY, is the only human who has it isn't self-explanatory for these people. And apparently Aang and Zuko got firebending lessons from the Avatar equivalent of Satan since the dragons had rainbow fire. Can we PLEASE not label anything that makes someone different as evidence of evil or illness? Can we leave that bullshit behind?

Conclusion

Azula might, maybe, perhaps have ASPD, but most of the evidence points to her behavior being just a result of trauma and indoctrination. But, even if Azula has any disorder, her character should not be reduced to it, and using any diagnosis to label her as "irredeemable" or "born evil" is disgustingly ableist and this fandom should do better.

#long post #azula meta #azula derserved better #ableism #atla meta #there are no comics in ba sing se #actual human child azula #actual child soldier azula

[pynkhues]

Hi! I love your Succession meta, especially when you drew parallels between Kendall and Rose, I wouldn't have thought of it myself, but that makes perfect sense! I'm curious what is you take on how Logan treated Kendall's ambiguous disorder when it first started manifesting (probably in his teens?). It must haves been such a mess, considering the fact that Kendall is in a complete denial he might have serious mental health issues, and his family only brings them up as a weapon to use against him. Would anything have changed if he'd actually got the help he needed at the beginning?

Hi! Thank you so much!

And ooo, that's such an interesting question, especially given the show has shown that the Roy siblings have spoken to therapists / psychologists before. Roman and Shiv both bring it up a few times throughout the series, and Kendall mentions it most notably in 3.02, and I think you could argue that his breathing exercises in 3.01 are an indication he's spoken to someone about anxiety before (although I do suspect Kendall's therapy has mostly been tied to rehab / recovery in the past as opposed to him trying to actually address any of his other issues).

It sort of makes me think that Logan himself isn't actually adverse to the concept, because if he was, I don't think any of the kids would do it at all, but I do think he has this sort of - - mmmm - - failure to acknowledge what that means, if that makes sense?

So much of what we see of Logan's understanding of vices, mental health or neurodivergence seems to come down to one of two things – either it's something to be fixed, or it's something to be controlled. Both are really clearly demonstrated I think with Iverson, where the Thanksgiving episode positioned his difficulties with transitioning houses as something Kendall should be controlling, and then later in 3.08 with the loaded line 'is he getting better?' as an indication of him viewing Iverson's autism as an ailment to be fixed and not a part of who he is.

We see it in other ways throughout the series too – telling Roman he needs to get 'straightened out', or confronting Kendall on his crying as if he wants to wring the weakness of it out of him. Interestingly too, he tends to treat Kendall's addiction not as something to be fixed, but something to be controlled, most notably in 2.01 when he tells him thinking (and using) is best done 'in limits'. Even still though, his advice is never to seek help, but always to self manage, and the idea I think of really unpacking an issue is something like acknowledging a weakness. Gosh, he even calls rehab 'the nuthouse' in 1.01.

The thing about Logan I think is that he cares more about projecting strength than possessing the actuality of it (although he does care about that too, haha), and that seems to go double for his sons. They represent a legacy of power, control and force, and while they might be varying degrees of fail children, it's only when their weaknesses or 'embarrassing' behaviour i.e. Connor's presidential run or Roman's issues with sex, become more public, that it becomes a problem for Logan.

In that sense, I don't think there's any way Logan's ever really known how to deal with Kendall's mental health. I think you're right that he was probably displaying symptoms from his teenage years, if not from childhood (I tend to read him as bipolar and as being on the autism spectrum, but it is still fairly ambiguous), and I think Logan probably more often than not either looked the other way or reacted as an authoritarian / disciplinarian, not unlike how he did with Iverson in 1.05.

I think for Logan a diagnosis wouldn't necessarily have changed that. It would've been something that needed to be hidden and controlled, and for Kendall, I think it would've been something he felt immense amounts of shame around, even if he had a treatment / management plan, and that his father's need for it to not exist would likely have him self-medicating through drugs and alcohol in the way he already does. Kendall's not someone who easily accepts help after all, even when he really, really wants it, and I don't really think a diagnosis early or otherwise would really have changed all that much for him.

I'm not sure though! What do you guys think?

#such an interesting question! #i think it also begs the question of how involved logan was when they were children #we know he had sole custody for their adolescence but god what does that MEAN? #alan's said connor was in boarding school #and we know roman was too #but i do tend to think kendall and shiv were in manhattan #but then logan travelled a lot too right? #did he take them with him much when they were teenagers? #i don't know! #and if he was only back intermittently i think kendall's episodes could've been seen as teen rebellion #which funnily enough i think logan would've actually sort of approved of even if it made him angry too #sort of like how he smiled at kendall's press conference #he likes it when the kids have fight in them #mostly because i think he enjoys getting them back under his thumb #kendall roy #logan roy #kendall + logan #hbo succession #succession meta #welcome to my ama

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

#asks #long post #nd adventures #ableism tw #sexism tw #racism tw #transphobia tw #misgendering mention #medical abuse mention #not star trek #homophobia tw

[juliettalfacharlie]

Day 4, alt: Visiting a Grave

CW graphic death, gun violence, suicide, acceptance of death, and drugs.

The previous two years, she'd shaken with emotion. First with anger, then grief. Anniversaries weren't necessarily special dates; they weren't anything she looked forward to or dreaded, but it was still jarring to realize how much time had passed. She'd experienced a minute of disbelief when she first recognized it'd been a year since her wife was with her.

It was customary in the Earth Kingdom to show respect only towards elders. When parents lost their children, no vigils were held, for it wasn't acceptable to honour those your junior.

It was a practice that thankfully hadn't taken roots in Republic City. Kya wouldn't have cared, regardless. She was hurting, damnit, and that wasn't lessoned because Lin was three years younger than she.

Now, 1,095 days past her lover's death, Kya was finally in a place of peace. Not with Lin's killer, or the circumstances surrounding it. She didn't believe she'd ever accept that.

The two had been walking out to their car after an evening dinner, and Lin sensed an altercation a block away. Kya sat in the Satomobile while Lin cautiously neared, concerned over a potential mugging or assault. It hadn't felt like anything serious, especially compared to what both women had already seen.

Lin used her seismic sense when she'd crossed half the distance, seeing two figures. One was pressed against the wall, the target, while the other stood in front of them, the instigator.

She treaded as quietly as possible, peeking around the corner to assess the situation.

There were two men, both tall and muscular. The assailant held something Lin originally believed to be a small baton, but as it caught light from the streetlamps, Lin saw it was a handgun. They weren't exceedingly common, due to being new inventions that were quite costly, but the amount of nonbenders in Republic City meant they were more concentrated here compared to other nations.

Lin desperately wished for her old spool of cables, but she'd retired them fifteen years prior, and they'd been gifted to the top metalbending prospect at the time of her departure.

The weapon was pointed at the victim, so any surprise attack risked him firing. She instead went for a civil approach, calling from behind the corner, "Step away and put your weapon down." she instructed, hearing his loud gasp.

"Who's there? Don't come close or I'll shoot!" the attacker yelled. His voice was strained, likely from fear.

"You haven't done anything yet, kid. Just set the gun on the floor, and we can talk about it." she replied, using a tone of placating authority. She displayed power without intimidation; the other man was acting on pure emotions, he needed to feel like he had an ally.

"I don't want to talk. That's not going to do shit to bring back my brother." he said, and Lin heard a head hit the concrete wall.

"Killing someone else won't either. It's also not going to make you feel the pain any less. The only thing it'll accomplish is ending your own life as well." she told him, voice softening just slightly. One constant in life would always be violence, and there would always be people hurt by it. Lin stepped around the corner, hands up in submission.

The gunman yelped, swinging the weapon towards her. "Hey, I know you! You're a cop!" he said, and Lin had a full view of his face. He was young; not boyishly so, but somewhere in his early 20's.

"I'm not an officer anymore, but the experience I have means I know exactly how this can end up. I don't want to see that happen to you; there's so much left to experience." she told him, calm under his pressure.

His hands trembled just so, eyes full of pain. "There would have been if it weren't for him!" he yelled, turning his head to the other man.

His face was bloody but he looked otherwise unharmed. "It's not my fault the idiot overdosed, I just gave him the shit." he argued, and the young man clenched more firmly around the gun.

Lin intervened quickly, taking attention off of the loudmouthed dealer, "I know what it's like to lose a sibling. My younger sister. My mom took her side, so it felt like I was entirely alone, but I found joy in my job. In my hobbies and friends. It made that pain feel much more manageable, and I couldn't be happier right now." she explained, eyes not straying from his face.

"I don't have any of that. I just had him." he said, shaking his head.

"For a long time I didn't either. I held onto my anger for decades, and it prevented me from fully enjoying myself. I don't want that to happen to someone else," she told him, "It wasn't until I was 52, actually, until I let that go. I didn't get closure, and the people who hurt me never apologized, but I saw how much harm it had done to me. Shortly after, I started talking to the woman I came to marry. She's the best person I know; beautiful, kind, insightful, she brought out the best parts in me, and I found myself wanting to be happy for her.

"If it's too difficult to feel joy with yourself, would you pity an old woman and feel it for me? I promise you, this hopelessness isn't permanent." Lin said, watching as the man slowly relaxed his grip and lowered the weapon.

"How about you start by telling me about him, hm?" she encouraged. He kept the weapon up, pointed at her knee, but his shoulders had dropped.

"His name was Mingyu. I was eight when he was born, and I was so excited. We didn't have a lot of money, and mom and dad were always working, so I had to look after him instead of going to school.

"I taught him what I had learned, and he was so smart. I got a job to make sure he could go to school when he turned 6. He was so good at kuai ball.

"We lost our dad this year, and Yu took it so hard. I was too busy with my job to see it, but he at school he started- why didn't I just-" the man finally lowered the gun, eyes welling up.

"Kids make mistakes. It's not your fault that Mingyu slipped." Lin told him, taking a cautious step forward.

The man didn't respond, so she continued to close the distance.

Lin straightened, feeling the distinct thud of metal-soled boots. The police had been called before she showed up.

"Hey, give me the gun and we can keep talking." She urged, and he looked up at her, startled by her change in tone.

"RCPD, hands where I can see them!" an officer behind her bellowed. Lin felt a pit open in her stomach, watching the emotions flash across the man's face.

In a moment the gun was back up, four feet away and aimed right between her eyes. "You lied to me!" he shouted, and pulled the trigger.

Kya had heard the shot, and immediately she knew what had happened. She felt a tug in her soul, similar to the feeling when her mother passed, and she sat in the passengers seat for hours, unable to move.

The man who murdered Lin was only 22. His name was Han. He ended up receiving life in prison for killing the former police chief, compared to the 30 he would have gotten if he killed the drug dealer, but he instead hanged himself in his holding cell. He was survived solely by his mother, and Kya deeply pitied her, but it was because of her son that she was now a widow.

It was unbelievable to imagine Lin losing her life there, in the alleyway fifteen years retired from the police force, instead of the dozen times she'd been severely injured, or the hundreds where she'd faced worse danger. Kya forgot, sometimes, in the beginning. She'd return to the empty house and think Lin must be in the backyard, or wake up in a cold bed expecting the smell of Lin's favoured morning tea, tieguanyin, to have permeated upstairs.

Kya had been so achingly raw with pain. She'd felt nothing like it before, where the jagged edges of her grief made her lash out instead, but for months she hated Lin for having left her. Spirits damn her noble nature.

After five months the wounds finally soothed, but she'd been terribly surprised to feel its return when she visited Lin's grave a year past her demise.

She then felt guilt over her reaction; Lin had told her countless times how Kya had "saved" her. Shown her love, and helped her realize to be cared for wasn't negative. Kya wished so desperately just to speak to her once more. To thank her for all that she gave, and ensure Lin knew how deeply she'd been loved.

The second anniversary was when she felt sorrow, but in the past year she'd received news that wasn't altogether bad. It made the third occurrence pass with far less grief.

Kya had been experiencing chest pains and severe shortness of breath. From her own diagnosis, she surmised her heart was giving out, but a healer in the city confirmed it with ease. There wasn't too much surprise given her age, approaching 84, her lifestyle, not always the healthiest, and the compounding emotional experiences she'd weathered.  While she'd never looked forward to death, she found that she was ready for it whenever the time came.

It was almost freeing, sitting in front of Lin's grave without the cloud of overwhelming emotion. She didn't visit her final resting place except for this anniversary, as she'd been buried in the Beifong family's tomb all the way in the Earth Kingdom. Lin had been rigid on tradition that way, even if Toph insisted against it and Su planned to start her own in Zaofu. Kya had only wanted to honour her wishes; being with her mortal body didn't give her a particular sense of closeness. She sensed Lin at random moments regardless of her location, which had been one hint she hadn't yet chosen reincarnation. Her spirit had remained hidden despite thorough searching in the Spirit World, but Kya knew she was only waiting for Kya's time.

And with it nearing, for the first time she faced the gilded headstone with a glimmer of hope.

#kyalin #lin beifong #kya lok #cw mental health #in honour of the Qingming Festival #why did i write so much these were supposed to be like 300 words each #angstpril

[dragonanarchist1155]

Ok so bear with me I gotta talk about at least one of my OCs while my stomach pain goes away (with the help of warmth and a bit of mint)

So

I think I haven't yet Posted about my dear friend Junnahed right?

Well, he does need a bit of an introduction then.

A fairly inquisitive dragon cleric is not something you would expect to find that often in your travels but Junnahed just goes anywhere, really anywhere.

He walks on the Steps of Saffiya, the famous Daknin explorer. Though instead of doing it because of a sense of self discovery and closure after the death of a loved one, he's more doing it because he doesnt feel at place anymore in the rapidly changing Daknin society and world.

He was taken in as a young hatchling by wandering priests of the god of healing of the Kiana snake people of the east, though was never much religious and nothing really stuck to him, he got really in deep on the knowdlege a out magic, especially restoration, healing and diagnosis criteria.

He set off at a fairly young age from the small temples at the dragon-snake border towns on small travels towards his homeland, but the rapidly modernizing Daknin tribes never really felt fulfilling for the old-spirit of travel that filled his heart, filled with stories about the nomadic Daknin and the wandering gods of the snake people.

He would not discuss it with anyone else, but he always believed that the "winged blue snake" form of the healing snake goddess was more than likely a wandering daknin healer of old. This belief fed his desire to set out on a trip of his own, as he saw himself and many others in the grandiose stories about the old gods. Maybe he could help people just like they did?

Junnahed set out one day with the blessings of his adoptive family and the promise of all the young students of the cult of the healer that he would always have a home to come back, and friends to rely upon, on the faith.

He thanked them, even though he knew he was unlikely to return.

His first adventure was... a bit crazy. But you kinda learn a few things after almost being eaten by an owl, successfully threatening bandits, defeating a chaotic monster on an unstable volcanic plateau, and saving a rich man from a stroke. Needless to say after that last one he didnt have much problems about money for a while.

Spears are a weapon of choice, like most Daknin. Unlike most Daknin though, he never learned how to ride a horse. He flies anywhere he needs to instead, and is proud of it. He carries a small sack behind his back, over his tail inbetween his wings. In it is most of his livelihood. Many books written by him, full of information, stories and diaries. Magic tomes with handwritten notes, spell components for combat, and ocassionally a skull or some bones for intimidation... which he routinely replaces with new ones as he progresses through his travels, after giving proper burial and respects to them for helping him prevent combat. This has been off putting at times with some cultures, but the usual Daknin approach to Pacifism has always been like that.

Though he wears a dark Gambeson coat frequently, he also wears an old upper plate below it, after finding out that for all he had read about combat in the old books of the priests of healing, it really bloody hurts to get hit by a sword on the ribs, even if it doesnt penetrate, especially when you are kinda skinny for a dragon.

If you ever meet him, expect a fairly talkative and respectful dragon, who will respect your customs and listen and ask for hours on end, who will heal you free of charge should you need it, and will usually hang around if asked, even if only for adventure's sake.

He has probably not realized yet he has already left his home world, through unknown means, and will likely not realize so unless significant effort is made towards trying to show him that.

In his belt lies a holy symbol of the winged god of healing, which he uses for mass healing spells should the need arise.

He sleeps like a cat, curled up on top of warmth and soft bedding (usually his sleeping pack which is a sturdy piece made by a thankful store owner crow man, after he spent an entire day helping him sort boxes of supplies), his feathery wing wrapped on top of him, and his tail wrapped around himself, or anyone else he is sleeping with.

He's asexual, even though he does not know the name for it, though he is a hopeless romantic, who frequently has both friendship and romance crushes of fellow adventurers he has spent time with and gotten to know. He is not prone to rage unless someone steals from him. Nomadic Culture makes him fairly comfortable with giving people anything they might need if asked, even though it might hurt him long term, but stealing from a dragon does not go well in any world.

He has sharp teeth, a sharp spear and floofy ears. He will become your friend, and that is a threat.

:3

_______

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Y'all have a good night, my stomach pain has calmed down and I will put on pjs and sleep.

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[hullabalooshoneybee]

IDV — MY ANALYSIS OF ANN’S LORE & DEDUCTIONS (W/ THEORIES)

CW: death, throw up, murder, illness/plague, abuse/harassment, religion (Christianity), (implied to be forced) conversion, brief self harm mention (only one quote)

written by @hullabalooshoneybee

        When she was a little girl, Ann was diagnosed with an illness. Whether she was born with it or developed it is unknown, but the disease caused her eyes to change color to a piercing yellow— like a cat. Coincidentally, a plague had struck her region at the same time she was diagnosed (or at least developing the physical symptoms of her illness).

        It was stated by the Identity V devs that the contagion and her illness were not the same. In addition to this, the symptoms from the plague listed in the first deduction ( “... vomiting, spasms, high fever, etc.” ) also prove they are not the same illness since Ann was never mentioned to of demonstrated these symptoms. Regardless, those who knew of Ann’s illness had assumed the diseases were one and the same; blaming her and accusing her of being the one to bear the regional pestilence.

        Bear in mind that Ann’s backstory is based around the Black Death and the Salem Witch Trials, meaning majority of the logic behind the diseases were roped back to the Christian God. Because of this, Ann’s neighbors had accused her of being the “eye of evil” or the devil’s eye, saying the epidemic was not a punishment from God as the Bubonic Plague had been, but a curse brought about from (a ‘possessed’) Ann herself.

        However, young Ann and her family were shown to be of a separate faith; when her mother fell ill in the second deduction, Ann’s father had prayed to a cat-shaped idol on a shrine. Shrines are regarded as holy due to their associations with divinity, a sacred person or relic, which implies that Ann’s family had worshipped a deity other than the Christian God (considering the Christian God has no known affiliations to cats.) Since those of other faiths were notoriously shamed and harassed by Christians, this could also be a supporting role as to why Ann was blamed for the pandemic.

        In the second deduction, Ann is detailed to be crying at a woman’s bedside— likely her mother. This implies that her mother had either fallen ill or died, but it was likely only the illness at the time since Ann’s father was praying rather than mourning or dismissing of the body. However, come third deduction, it is revealed that Ann’s parents had eventually passed away on different occasions (the mourning clothes were worn several times— this could also imply that others in Ann’s family fell ill and died too).

        So, what became of Ann? Well, in the fourth deduction, it shows that Ann had inherited her parent’s land and houses (yes, plural; the deductions heavily imply that her parents were wealthy) through her parents’s wills. But the community wasn’t happy, which led to a copious amount of unwanted attention, often in the form of death threats. Not only were they convinced Ann was a creation of the devil and a bearer of plague, but now they held deep jealousy for her inheriting such wealth— such wealth they felt she didn’t deserve.

In the fifth deduction, a priest details in a letter that he was praying for Ann’s family, which had likely also fallen ill from the epidemic. In the letter, he claims that as long as Ann is alive, her curse will continue to infect others.

I theorize that the priest’s letter could’ve been to someone well known in the area, for the following deduction is an example of the harassment Ann faced; a rock with a poorly written message on it, blaming her for the plague and the death of the author’s mother.

Another reason the priest’s letter could of gone to someone higher up or with more influence (or if it became public) has to do with Ann’s death— The town wanted Ann dead since she was a little girl, but the priest’s letter was written closer to Ann’s adulthood (and was likely an influence on her diagnosis in deduction seven, more on this later). If this letter— which essentially claimed Ann’s death would free them— fell into the wrong hands, it could easily be used as motivation for Ann’s murder.

Back to the lore; Not long after the events of deduction six, Ann was given a quite religiously influenced diagnosis. The description of extreme stress and hallucinations lead me to theorize it being a severe case of anxiety or paranoia, but that is heavily up to debate (especially since I am not a licensed professional). Ann was told that her only treatment was to convert; turn to God and pray for salvation, which is why her diagnosis may have to do with the Priest’s letter from the fifth deduction.

So Ann abandoned her faith of the cat-shaped idol and became a nun, pursuing God’s cure ( “An infinite approach to the sun...” ) despite the hatred she gained from it ( “... is equivalent to infinitely hurting yourself” ).

But.. Why did Ann become a nun? Why did she change her faith now, of all times? In the original lore given to us by the Identity V twitter, it explains how Ann had eventually believed the town’s rumors of Ann being a seed of evil. So, since she was convinced she was a horrible person, she was likely desperate for a reason to change and fix herself— especially if it would get her abusers off her case. She likely believed God was her only solution, converting out of desperation for salvation.

During her time as a nun, her eyes had never (returned/became) normal, and the harassment she received had never stopped. She struggled to find the solace she yearned for, which inevitably led to her demise. On the night of a new moon, which symbolizes new beginnings (more on this later), she had made her way to the sanctuary of her Church. Unfortunately, she never made it to the Church since she had been impaled through the heart by a wooden cross— which is likely the cross she bears as a weapon at the Manor.

As she bled out, a cat-shaped shadow had approached her claiming, "I can make your wish come true, once you've sacrificed your last bit of faith” . The figure, theorized to be her family’s original deity/honored spirit, was likely telling her to give up on Christianity and revert back to her original faith. By doing so, Ann would get her wish; her cure.

And so she did. Ann turned her back to the “sun”, and was given her cure; revenge. Ann was risen from the dead, and brought about a new pandemic— a lethal one that targeted not only her region, but only the specific people who harassed and/or murdered her.

The reason her death being on a new moon is so important is due to it’s symbolism, which further enriches Ann’s lore. A new moon represents not only new beginnings, but reflecting on the past. This pairs well with the timing of Ann’s demise since it implies her revival was a new start, much like the moon’s implication. Not only that, but Ann was forced to reflect on her time as a Christian and the treatment she was given, which led to her ultimate choice of revival— and revenge.

There are several theories on Ann’s lore, one of the most notorious being who the cat-figure really is. The most popular theory is that it’s her family’s deity/honored spirit, but other theories suggest the cat is either the devil, or an illusion from the manor. I personally am unsure on what to believe, but all the same I find it interesting how the cat could represent a diverse range of roots.

A theory of mine, however, has to do with the cat and how Ann got to the manor. We know why survivors come to the manor, but what about hunters? Like Dead by Daylight, it seems to be implied that some of them just.. End up there. Appear and exist. But with Ann, I theorize a different case. The cat spirit could of made other deals with Ann, one of them perhaps being that Ann would forever be able to, “...punish those who want to approach the truth” if she agreed to come to the manor and play the Baron’s games.

Ann is one of the most intricately woven characters of Identity V lore, and the fact her background is not officially tied to any other characters makes it all the more difficult to decipher her history. All the same, I hope my analysis helps provide clarity as well as clears up confusion with Ann’s upbringing. All of my sources come directly from Identity V, be it their YouTube, Twitter, or in-game text such as Ann’s deductions.

( If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me! I’d love to discuss theories and whatnot with you all <3 )

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