#even if im not romantically attracted to them

[oatbugs]

oh my god u rly are everyone you've ever loved !! for better or worse !! a part of you becomes them!

#i had a moment of lucidity idk im in this café the person i went on a few dates w is coming to see me i said come study w me #and they said okay immediately even though im a town over and i dont like them i really dont feel even a little attracted to them that way #but i did let them bite my neck a week ago and it still hurts i let them hold my hand i just #i never start anything #i let them kiss me. why do i do that? i dont feel anything towards them #and i told them ill probably never sleep with them and i thought thats enough but it really isnt is it #they write poetry about people they meet even once #theyre coming a whole town over to study w me but its not a date i feel nothing towards them romantically and i dont want to lose them as #a friend. this was her line of thinking wasnt it? i would take the train and meet her near her place in ldn and wed study together and #shed let me hold her and she would never initiate much and we were just studying together and it wasnt a date #like . fuck. i dont want to do what she djd to me to another person ever #their shared location map went offline at london bridge like ok theyre in the underground they are fr coming a whole town over #its a short distance but the point is i think i should have taken what my friend said more seriously . she told me i was kinda leading #them on bc what i thought to be just meetups dates might entail more for them #anyway im gonna be clear w them this time maybe #....IT JUST NEVER COMES UP IS THE THING #do i have to clarify even if it never comes up #i do in fact hear myself #ok #the parallels r lining up #aaa

[dyke-pollinator]

Ya know what, if this loses me followers idgaf.

I fucking love men. Not just trans men but cis men. Cishet men. All of them. They're wonderful and beautiful and so often very full of whimsy.

Yeah I get it, some people are absolute trash. But that doesn't mean I can't love men for who they are and what they give to my life.

#im serious about this #i legit love men #even if im not romantically attracted to them

[museumgiftshoperaser]

it would be sooooooo fun if i could casually tell other queer people im aromantic without them immediately turning the conversation into some kind of philosophical debate about the nature of romantic attraction

#im so tired of the same conversation #i should be able to tell people im aromantic #without them going ohhhhhh #'but what even is romantic attraction anyway???' #'how would you even know if you've experienced it?????' #aromantic

[spaciebabie]

does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

#spacie spoinks #bruh #like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭 #i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is??? #cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk #''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing #like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it. #it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why??? #strange as hell. #i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like #a week and that was like the worst week of my life #i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like. #the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy'' #I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP #HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS???? #me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!! #im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche #the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god) #its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful. #so horrid #also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr #idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it) #sometjing 2 think abt i guess? #anybeans. i tire. #hope i never experience that again #ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again'' #NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iridescentis]

i have to try so hard not to get upset when i have conversations with my family about love and sexuality because i know they will never understand anything outside of amatonormativity but fuck it hurts

being told that i will never have a best friend who will want to be with me forever because 'everyone will eventually leave because everyone wants to fall in love and build a family' just gets to me even though i know there are people who want that but it's just so hard to remember when no one in my life does

#are qprs really that hard to grasp?? #there's also the thing where #i am the only aroace person i know who wants a life partner #so it's hard to remember there are people like me when ive never met anyone who feels the same #funnily enough one of my allo friends has shown me the most understanding out of anyone #don't even get me started on aesthetic attraction #the way i can't go nuts about beautiful women because people irl will assume i want to date them #no sir she is art #how do i explain that pretty people are the same as a cute animal or a flower to me #i cant because THEY WON'T LISTEN #im sorry im ranting im just deeply passionate about this #years of pretending my aesthetic attraction was romantic/sexual has driven me to madness #aroace #aromantic #asexual

[autisticaradiamegido]

hi thank you for all the aradia love this blog

do you have a favorite headcanon about her, even a very small/niche one?

day 284

well i assume u mean aside from the one in the blog title lol

a fun one is this dumb imaginary report card i imagine sometimes

obviously i interpret her as autistic, but i also think shes asexual, sssomewhere on the aro spectrum? and agender! which is all fun because her name also starts with a. call that a straight-A student

#day 284 #year 3 #aradia megido #homestuck #tbf i dont think she thinks too hard about gender? like idk that shed DESCRIBE herself that way necessarily #but i think if you pressed her shed be like 'idk do most people FEEL their gender? yes? huh. well i guess i dont have one! interesting!' #and then not think too hard about it ever again #i think she truly does not give a shit #as for the aro stuff idk. its another thing where i think shes very affectionate but has a hard time distinguishing like #romantic vs platonic attraction and what the difference is? esp since the dividing line between some quadrants is like #'well do you want to have sex with them or not?' and for her the answer is 'no' regardless #even in my biggest ships for her i kind of imagine the relationships to be a bit more on the queerplatonic end of things than like #strictly romantic in the more traditional sense #and again im not sure that she thinks too hard about it! #but when you bring partners into it who maybe Do care about defining it a little more clearly i think she does have to stop and THINK hard #about the nature of her feelings and what words she wants to use to define them #wow this got long maybe this all shouldve been IN the post itself. well oops im not gonna retype/reformat it all sorry its past my bedtime

[thebirdandhersong]

I think I'm over the "men are the WOOOOOORST" hill of irrational rage :D

#i pray fervently that this year is a year without drama. #may I not find anyone attractive and pin my hopes on them like the brainless romantic i can be when i get silly! #this coming on the heels of that guy i was briefly interested in but who was like. #no i don't want kids they'll get in the way of my Ambitions I don't want that kind of responsibility #anywayyyy not ALL men are the worst i know this because i have a good dad and good male friends #this is referring to eligible bachelors around my age btw. glad im over that hill. some of them are pretty cool brothers in Christ. #even if some of them could do with a serious wake up call

[ballsalsda]

guys am i valid if im fictoromantic and dont have an f/o or desire a serious relationship with any of my fictional crushes or is there a different label for that

#the thing is #i dont even know if what im experiencing is romantic attraction #the fact that i havent wanted a relationship with any of them could mean its aesthetic attraction #idk #fictoromantic #aroace #aromantic #fictosexual #asexual #f/o #f/o community #romantic f/o #lgbtq+ #self ship #self shipper #fictional other #self ship community

[cringelordofchaos]

ok but genuinely how do you confess to your crush 😦

#i think im bad down for them help #help #queer #lgbtqplus #lgbt #crush #romantic attraction #romantic interest #need advice #advice #lesbian #im sorry for tagging this post with queer tags even though its not specifically stated in the post #but since im a girl and shes a girl its hard because im still a bit closeted for some reason?? #and saskdioekciowdi idek if she likes me or not and i know she doesnt like guys in general but idk if she likes ME yknow.

[needylittlegirl]

being a little lover girl is awful because why do i remember every single thing about people. you can say something so small teeny tiny offhand and i’ll remember it. but i dont think anybody does the same for me?? i dont think people are ever as devoted to me as i am to them

#sometimes i wish i could stop loving people so hard #im not even talking romantically #i just mean in any sense #theres nothing nothing worse than knowing everything about someone and wanting to be such close friends with them #but they just think of you as like. an acquaintance i guess? #nothing happened its just like period emotions or something #well actually thats a lie talking to someone lately has been killing me cause i know they dont care as much as i do #so its a little internal battle lately of do i cut them off so it doesnt eat me alive or do i keep being their friend cause really #theres no good reason to cut them off its just that i feel too much and dont know how to be normal about it !! #whatever #tbd #yeah whatever its just hormones ill get over it #but for now i have to cry my lil eyes out <3 #im just tired of having More feelings all the time #im such a giver why do i only attract takers!!

[depresseddepot]

trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once

#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate. #anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day #i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'') #and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on'' #and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat #but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand #first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well. #secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex #thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds #i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at #so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well ! #i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me #but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time #so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex? #is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance? #or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous #did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes #but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute #this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty'' #which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!! #and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this #i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive #and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually #i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other #and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive #which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!! #how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much #but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me #i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me) #i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could

[an-eldritch-peredhel]

Sky Shinies, V2

For @aspecardaweek Day 3: Across the A-spectrum, I decided to redraw the second piece of Tolkien fanart I ever posted, two years ago for this very event! Check back in 2025 to see if I keep up the pattern.

Since Ainur are basically angels I've decided they're all pretty much ace (with varying degrees of interest- Melian) and arospec if only because they don't conceptualize relationships in the same way we do, and the majority of elves are demi/grayspec.

Arien: Sapphic oriented aroace, recipromantic

Earendil: Bi demi-rose

Tilion: Achillean oriented aroace, lithoromantic, aroflux

[id. A full-body pencil drawing of Arien, Earendil, and Tilion. Arien is inspired by a lion, with digitigrade legs, paw pads, and claws. She has a crown of horns and fire burning on her head, limbs, and the tip of her tail. Tilion has bat ears and feet with a leaf-shaped nose, horns curling around his ears and another set twisting upwards, and dark blotches on his skin. Their arms are linked as they shoot finger guns. Earendil stands in front of them, head barely reaching their elbows as he waves with one hand and holds a telescope in the other. He's black, with braids pulled back in a ponytail and a small beard. The silmaril shines from a circlet on his forehead, and he wears Ancalagon's skin as an armored vest and skirting. end id.]

Rambles, comparison, and closeups under the cut!

[id. Three closeups on Arien, Earendil, and Tilion's faces respectively to show details. Arien has freckles and her eyes appear to be glowing behind her sunglasses, Earendil has eyebags, faint laugh lines, and scars, as well as individually lined scales on his vest, and Tilion has fangs, earrings. and diamond-shaped pupils with black sclerae. end id.]

[id: a comparison of the full drawing above to the original, which ends around Earendil's knees but otherwise has near-identical composition. Arien looks significantly more human, Tilion is missing his horns, and Earendil is white with a less structured outfit. end id.]

I was mostly going off of memory redrawing this, which is why their poses are slightly different but honestly I prefer this even if it isn't strictly accurate. Winner for biggest design overhaul is a tie between Arien and Earendil, because excluding Tilion's horns (which I would have originally included if I had remembered Tilion literally means "horned one") he's hardly changed, though tragically I took away some of his jewelry for practicality.

Past!Earendil's unintentional Michael Jackson nose haunts me, though I do kinda miss his stupid wave hair. I'm much happier with his dragonscale vest thingy now (though I realized too late that Ancalagon's scales would be much larger, oh well), I've had time to think through the various elven cultural aesthetics and I'm very pleased with his multi-combo of cultures that still gives him the vibes I wanted. Stupid pointy-toed noldorin boots are so hard to draw right but I love them so much

Arien has also been overhauled but given that they change how humanoid their fana looks depending on if they're hanging around incarnates or not the original is still technically close to that form? Horn crown and significantly more fire has been added in homage to her balrog siblings alongside everything else, but like Tilion her outfit change is minimal and the vibes stay the same.

Unrelated but a funny side note: as I have become increasingly aware of Pokemon Knowledge, I have realized that Solgaleo and Lunala unintentionally map really really well onto my Arien and Tilion. Yes this is because lion/day/sun | bat/night/moon symbolism is obvious, but I'm leaning into it. Earendil works shockingly well as Ultra Necrozma, too.

#aspecardaweek #arien #tilion #earendil #my art #this is my first time id-ing my art so i hope it's decent #arien being genderfluid makes orientation complicated but i think sapphic still suits them best even as auron #and tilion is still achillean even though he doesn't lose all alterous feelings for him the moment he becomes arien again #they're both just. so so so gay. #tilion is genderflux as well as aroflux- it's related to his moon gig #ainur gender and attraction is hard #im not gonna chart out the whole sky polycule in the tags but the important ones to this are #arien is in a qpr with ilmare and a romantic relationship with thuringwethil #tilion is in a qpr with eonwe and a romantic relationship with salmar (lost romantic feelings but doesn't mind the relationship) #earendil is obviously married to elwing and hes deeply in love but the two also have something vaguely queerplatonic going on with eonwe

[idyllic-affections]

i am begging tumblr writers to write more nonromantic content. i cannot be the only platonic fic provider PLEASE

#aphelion speaks 🌸 #genuinely i do not feel any romantic attraction to any of these characters #i am not trying to date them #i am trying to be adopted by them or am trying to adopt them #my romantic orientation is kind of hard for even me to understand but i experience very little romantic attraction in general #i am romantically attracted to my boyfriend #thats.... thats it as of right now LMAO its been that way for around 4 years #maybe longer #anyway if any of you have romantic orientation labels that you think describe what im experiencing #feel free to tell me bc im still trying to figure it out