#feels rather lonely ;; yeah ;;; idk it's honestly been eating me up from the inside for so long esp w not being in an fc yet in ravana >< | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

svtwritess · 4 years

Text

finally- hjs

⇨ word count: 7.9k

⇨ genres: fluff, smut, some angst

⇨ pairing: joshua x female reader (though there’s no feminine pronouns or nicknames used!)

⇨ friends to lovers au

⇨ warnings: mentions of food, swearing, sexual content (oral, hickeys, light biting but not really idk), unprotected sex (please use protection kids please❤️)

You waited in your car in front of the office building you worked at, anticipating the arrival of your best friend who you always walked into work with. You and Joshua used to have the exact same title. You worked on the same floor, ate lunch at the same time, and even sat at the same desk. For six months, you spent nearly every working moment together, often goofing around and chatting even when you should be working. Your boss never suspected the two of you, though, as you still got all of your work done properly and on time.

However, a couple of weeks ago, you got promoted. You used to work on the second floor with Joshua, but your promotion forced you to move up to the sixth floor. You had your own office, which was good because you wouldn’t want to share a desk with anyone else in that building, but the worst part was that your lunch time got moved to an hour later than it was before. So, simply put, you rarely ever saw Joshua at work anymore and it upset the both of you greatly. You both accepted it, though, as Joshua and yourself knew that it was for the betterment of your career (and your salary).

You felt your heart jump when you saw Joshua’s sleek black car pull into the parking lot. He had been saving his money and finally splurged on a new one when his 2008 clunker finally broke down on him. You were happy for him and needless to say, he looked super sexy driving it.

You got out of your car, shut the door and locked it before heading over to where Joshua had parked just a few spots over from you.

Your heels clicked as Joshua got out of his car as well. His platinum hair was parted down the center and it was fluffy, framing his face perfectly. He wore a white, long sleeve button up, black slacks accompanied by a belt, black loafers and a nice watch that looked to be way nicer than he could afford. You swallowed, loving yet hating how amazing he looked in work clothes.

“Good morning!” he exclaimed happily, a small smile making its way onto his face upon seeing you. “Ready for another grueling day of doing something that contributes almost nothing to society for a less than satisfactory paycheck?” he asked, hugging you from the side. You laughed as you hugged him back and began walking toward the building.

“Sadly yes, I’m numb to it at this point.”

“Yeah, me too.” he chuckled as the automatic doors to the building opened for the pair of you.

You headed for the elevator and Joshua pressed the “up” button. You were already dreading saying goodbye for the day, as the ride to the second floor took less than 30 seconds.

“Are you sure you can’t take an early lunch or something? I miss you.” he said casually as you stepped into the elevator. You tried not to smile too widely at his words, knowing he meant them in a purely platonic way.

“As I’m pretty new to the position, I don’t think I should be too pushy about my schedule just yet. But trust me, I wish I could.” you pushed the “2” button followed by the “6” button and waited for the doors to close.

“Yeah, I know. Guess I’ll just keep eating with Mia,” he replied and you nearly cringed at the thought of him eating with her; she just so happened to be extremely pretty. “She’s nice, just doesn’t say much.” he shrugged and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. You were just happy she wasn’t flirting with him or anything like that.

The doors opened and you frowned as Joshua stepped out and turned to face you.

“So long,” he said dramatically as he sent you a theatrical, yet relatively sarcastic, look as the doors closed.

“Bye Joshua.” you laughed as the elevator closed and blocked him from view, your lonely ascent to the 6th floor beginning. Once you arrived, you trudged to your office and attempted to mentally prepare for another long day without Joshua.

Okay, so you had a gigantic crush on him if it wasn’t obvious, but how could you not? Working with the sweetest, funniest, most reliable, humble, and attractive guy you’d ever met almost everyday for 6 months was bound to have an affect on you. You never told him, though. You knew that he was out of your league, and that being said, you also didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship, and thus, you kept your feelings to yourself.

Your day was full of meetings and your boss grilling you about if you had done the things on her extraordinarily long to-do list. You told her that you had done most of it and would try to get everything done by the end of the day. She was less than excited about the fact that you used the word “try”, but simply stressed you that you get it done before finally leaving you alone.

She left at 4, an hour before you were supposed to, and you were happily able to tell her that you were almost done with the tasks she had given you. She gave you a smile, which was pretty impressive for her, and you continued working.

You were typing away on your computer, and had been for the better part of an hour without realizing it, when there was a knock at your door. You looked up and saw Joshua entering your office, the butterflies in your stomach beginning to swarm.

“Hey?” you questioned. He normally never came up to your office.

“It’s almost 5:20 and you didn’t meet me downstairs, so I figured I should check up on you.”

“Oh, is it? I didn’t even notice.” you sighed and leaned back in your chair.

“Busy day?” he asked as he walked into your office, placing one his thigh on top of your desk and leaning on it with his arm.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you groaned, “but with great power comes great responsibility.” he smiled down at you sweetly, wishing he could take some of your workload from you.

“Well how about you relinquish your power for today,” he turned off your monitor, “and let me walk you to your car?” you smiled back at him and nodded. Your work was saved automatically, so you shut down your computer and gathered your things before standing up and leaving your office, your best friend in tow.

“Any plans tonight?” he asked as you made your way to the elevator.

“Just a warm shower, very comfortable pajamas, and maybe some Netflix. What about you?” you answered honestly as you pressed the “down” button, the door opening immediately.

“I think the guys wanna come over and play video games or something. You should come over too, we’re getting pizza, and you love pizza.” he said matter-of-factly, but you just laughed as you both stepped inside.

“That’s very true, but I can get my own. Enjoy the guy's time though, you deserve it.” you patted Joshua’s shoulder before pressing the “1” button and watching the doors close. The elevator ride and walk to your car was comfortably silent. You reached your less than impressive vehicle and stopped, turning to face Joshua. Before you could speak, he asked you a question.

“Hey… why do you always say no when I ask you to hang out?” he said shyly, playing with the end of one of his shirt sleeves.

“It’s the reason that I always give you,” you shrugged. “I know you have friends other than me, so I want you to have fun with them without me intruding.”

“Well yeah, I get that, but now that we don’t work together anymore...” Joshua reached up to grab your waist and pull you closer, but he stopped himself before you could notice. “Look, I’m just saying, we would all love it if you joined us sometime, so think about it okay?” he asked kindly and you nodded.

“I will. Promise.” you nodded. “But for now, there is a steaming hot cup of tea and a reclining couch in my future.”

“Next time then,” he said rather dejectedly. “I’ll call you later, okay?” You nodded as you got in your car and bid each other goodbye.

As you drove away, you wondered when you would finally take Joshua up on his offer. Maybe subconsciously you thought that meeting Joshua’s other friends or going to his apartment would make things between the two of you more serious. You thought maybe something would happen that would set your feelings for him in stone.

You were hesitant to say it was love, though, as even when you worked together you didn’t see each other outside of work much. It was probably because you were together for 40 hours a week anyway. You’d only ever gone to a bar or a restaurant after work 5 or 6 times, and you always thought that that was enough. If you thought there was even a slight chance that he would return your feelings for him, then you’d have no problem with things between you changing, but you knew he didn’t, and even if he did, you were too scared of confessing to him to find out. You had never been in love before, but what you felt for Joshua was certainly the closest you had ever come to it.

You parked in your assigned spot and turned your car off before heading up to your apartment. Though your thoughts had depressed you slightly, you got excited when you remembered Joshua would be calling you later.

When you got your promotion, you started calling Joshua at night and you told him that it was to talk about how each other’s days went, and it kind of was, but you mostly just wanted to hear his voice. Admittedly, it was one of your favorite things about him. Not only did he have incredible biceps, wide-set shoulders, an amazingly slender waist, pecks that were easily big enough for a bra, an exquisite complexion, and plush, pillow-like lips that his smooth, honey voice dripped off of.

Your thoughts of Joshua put you in such a daze that you were barely aware of the fact that you were already in your bathroom preparing to take a shower. You took off your clothes and turned the water on high heat before stepping in.

Hands. You had forgotten Joshua’s hands. His palms were large and his fingers the perfect length for.... sexual things you often thought about. You wondered how much better you shower would’ve been if only he was with you…

You tried to shake the thoughts out of your head as you washed yourself as quickly as you could, longing to put on your coziest pajamas and vege on your couch.

You hopped out of the shower, dried off and padded into your room. You hung your towel on the corner of your door and threw on your favorite shirt and pajama pants. You ran a comb through your hair and completed the steps of your skincare routine, happy that it was finally time to do absolutely nothing.

You boiled some water and made a cup of tea to calm you down for the night and put on an episode of the show you had recently started binging. You often wished you had the courage to invite Joshua over to simply do nothing with you, as it was one of your favorite hobbies, but you were afraid of what you might do or say in the comfort of your own home, and were even more afraid of getting rejected.

As you sipped your tea, you felt your eyes begin to grow heavy. Though each time they closed for too long, you shook yourself awake, as you realized your phone hadn’t rang yet.

When the episode ended, you made the decision to head into your room. After putting your mug in your sink and turning everything off, you climbed into bed. It was already 11:00pm, so you hoped Joshua would be calling soon. You played games on your phone to pass the time, until finally, a familiar ringtone filled your ears.

“Hi.” you answered the call almost too excitedly.

“Well hi there,” you could hear the smile in his voice.

“Did you have a good night?” you asked, also smiling on instinct.

“I did, the guys got too loud though, so had to end the party early.”

“Was it Vernon or the one who thinks he’s a tiger? Those are the only two I know.” you asked and he laughed out loud; you could just see the cute eye smile he had when he laughed really hard.

“It was the tiger, actually. Good job. How was your night?”

“Oh, you know, did exactly what I said I was gonna do. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be, though.” you played with the blanket that rested across your legs, remembering how you’d wished he was with you.

“Really? Why not?” he asked and you could hear the ruffling of bed sheets from his end of the call. You went back and forth between saying what you wanted to say and covering up your true emotions like you normally do, but you decided to reply with something in the middle of the two.

“I don’t know… I guess I kinda wish I had taken you up on your offer to come over, but I definitely wouldn’t wanna play video games.” you said and he chuckled, but for once there wasn’t a trace of a smile on your face. You were nervous, as every time Joshua invited you over you wished you had said yes, this was just the first time you were admitting it to him.

“Yeah, that doesn’t seem like you,” there was a long pause, “What… would you wanna do?” he asked ever so quietly, to the point that you almost couldn’t hear his voice. The question would normally sound innocent if you hadn’t been thinking about showering with him an hour or two prior, and something in his voice sounded sensual, like he was tempting you, trying to get you to confess something. Could he have been thinking the same things as you?

“I-I don’t know, watch a movie or something,” you said as casually as you could, though you were sure the shake in your voice gave you away. Dammit, you thought. Why am I so stupid?

“Oh,” Joshua let out an awkward cough, “Yeah, that would be cool.”

You both just sat there in silence, in a very awkward silence. That never really happened to the two of you, one of you almost always had something to say and you hated the intensity of the current situation.

“I’m really tired, so I think I’m gonna go to sleep.” you told him, not sounding nearly as chipper as you did when you answered the phone.

“Yeah… yeah you should do that. It’s really late.” he said and you could hear him pull the chain of what you assumed was a lamp before settling further into his bed.

“Goodnight Josh.” you said sweetly, but hung up the call before you could hear his response.

You, too, turned off the light that sat on your bedside table and curled up underneath your comforter. Tossing and turning, you tried to rid your mind of every dirty, sexual thought you’d had about your best friend that night. You don’t know what changed, but you were acting the complete opposite of how you usually forced yourself to act. You made an effort to never think about him provocatively, yet there you were, sexy Joshua thoughts galore, and you were beyond angry with yourself. You basically prayed that things would be normal between the two of you the next day.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, you were all Joshua could think about. The entire night, he’d wondered what it would have been like if you had accepted his offer and come over. How fun it would be to play video games with you, only letting you win when you were obviously frustrated. How happy it would make him to see you getting along with his 12 other best friends (he knew they would love you). How funny he would think it was when you bragged about the fact that you were able to eat more pizza slices than him, and how excited he would be sneaking you into his room, away from all the others, teasing you until you either begged him to fuck you senseless or pleaded for him to wait until everyone left.

As much as his mind told him not to, he knew his body wouldn’t listen as his hand slid down his body until he reached his member that was already halfway hard at the mere thought of you. His mind ran wild thinking of how pretty your moans would sound, how painfully sexy you would look with your mouth around his member or your head thrown back into the pillows, and how beautiful you would look when it was all over.

You were a complete wreck. You had woken up late, seemingly taken way longer than usual to get ready, and you spilt the coffee you had brought from home all over your blouse when you pressed the brakes too hard at a red light. Thankfully you kept an extra shirt in your office, but that didn’t change the fact that you were frazzled beyond belief.

You somehow managed to make it to work close to on time, but you didn’t bother to wait for Joshua. You had to get up to your office and change your shirt before the now cold coffee seeped through to your skin any further.

Though, Joshua on the other hand, was patiently waiting in his car for you to arrive, and when he saw you walking at a fast pace, in a frustrated fashion with no sign that you would be waiting for him, he let out a defeated sigh and turned off his car. Was it his fault you were frustrated? Were you still upset at how awkward things had gotten last night? Did you somehow know about his wank session that involved endless imagery of you? He surely hoped it was none of those things, especially the last one, as he made his way up to his desk.

You changed into your spare shirt in the corner of your office as fast as you could, partially because you needed to start working as soon as possible and partially so that no one would see you. The shirt was white and much tighter than you remembered it being, almost to the point that it was uncomfortable, but you didn’t have time to have an issue with it.

Low and behold, as soon as you sat down and turned your computer on, your boss entered your office.

“Good morning, Y/N. Happy Friday.” she said professionally.

“Happy Friday to you as well.” you replied, trying not to sound as out of breath as you were.

“I have a big meeting on Monday in Chicago. I’ll be leaving on Sunday and unless you want to come in on a Saturday, I highly suggest you finish all of this today.” she said as she handed you a sheet of paper. It was a list that started at the very top of the page and went all the way down to the bottom.

“M-ma’am, I know you need all of this done, but it’s quite a lot… I’m sure there’s someone else in the office that can take on some of these tasks and help get them done much faster than I could on my own.” you said as kindly as possible, though inside you were both boiling with rage and baffled by how much she was asking of you.

“Now Y/N…” she stepped closer to your desk and raised her eyebrow, “I promoted you for a reason. Don’t make me regret it.” and before you knew it, she was turning on her heel and walking out the door.

As badly as you wanted to bury your face in your hands and cry from stress, you knew you didn’t have time for that. You went through the list and picked out the shortest tasks to do first and numbered those with a “1”, then you found all of the tasks that were on the computer and labeled those with a “2”, and finally you marked the longer tasks, such as going different places within the building and sorting through files, with a “3”. You felt much more confident after that.

You worked quickly yet diligently up until lunch time, but you weren’t even done with the shortest tasks yet. As you scarfed down your lunch, you decided you would do the 3 tasks next instead of the 2’s. You figured you would be stuck at work for an extra hour or two, so you would rather walk around the building while it was still populated.

You grabbed the files you needed and went up to the 8th floor, the top floor where your boss and other executives worked, and got a few signatures. Then, you went down to the 4th and 3rd floors to collect some forms that you needed to fill out and to get information on the meeting your boss was going to. Then you, rather begrudgingly, went down to the 2nd floor where the industrial copier was. There were a few papers that your boss needed 200 copies each of, and the tiny printer in your office wasn’t by any means capable of that.

On the elevator ride down, you tried thinking if there was a route you could take to avoid seeing Joshua at his desk, but you couldn't come up with one. Normally, you’d be ecstatic that you were able to go to his floor and would spend as much time as you could at his desk without getting caught, but you weren’t really sure if he wanted to see you after last night’s awkwardness, and frankly, you didn’t know if you wanted to see him either.

When the elevator reached the 2nd floor, you stepped out and quickly walked to the room where the copier was with your head down. You walked by Joshua’s desk, but thankfully you didn’t think he noticed you.

Once you reached the copier, you took out the 4 papers you needed and began scanning them for copies. You waited, and waited, your foot tapping impatiently, and when the machine began printing copies of the 4th paper, there was a light knock at the door.

“Y/N?” Joshua’s sweet voice called out and you squeezed your eyes shut in defeat.

“Hey,” you replied quietly, though you stayed with your body turned toward the copier.

“How are you?” he asked kindly, slowly making his way over to you.

“Bad,” you chuckled at the unbelievability of it all, “What about you?”

“Um, fine I guess. I missed you this morning…” he said and your brows furrowed.

“You were still in your car when I got here? I was almost late.” you told him, surprise evident in your voice and your eyes wide as you finally looked at him. He was wearing a white button up identical to the one from yesterday, but his pants were khaki instead of black like usual. His hair was styled off of his forehead and it wasn’t helping the state you were in at all.

“Yeah, well I like you being the first person I see everyday. Makes the thought of going to work a little easier.” he shrugged and you felt like you could cry. How was he so fucking sweet?

“Thanks Josh, I just had a rough morning. I’ll do better next week, but right now I’ve gotta get these papers upstairs.” you said as you bent down to grab the gigantic stack of papers the copier had produced and held them tightly to your chest once you picked them up. You gave him a shy smile and, finally, went back to your office.

You nearly threw the papers onto your desk and separated them, putting the pieces of paper in stacks with papers alike. You then sat down and began your computer tasks, though once you saw the time on your computer, a heavy weight fell on your shoulders. You only had half an hour of work left, and there was no way you were going to be able to finish everything in that time. Though, again, you shook it off and began working.

You typed for the remainder of the work day, feeling as if your fingers were about to fall off. You had absolutely no concept of time at that point. Had it been 1 minute or 1 hour? You didn’t know, and before you knew it, you heard a tapping sound coming from the front of your office.

“Y/N, come on. I walked alone this morning and I’m not about to walk alone now.”

You buried your face in your hands and let out a very frustrated groan.

“I can’t leave!” you nearly yelled. “My boss gave me this stupid long to-do this morning and unless I wanna come in tomorrow, which I so don’t, I have to finish everything tonight, but it seems like the more I do the longer this list gets and- God this sucks.” you were on the verge of tears, your elbows on your desk and your hands in your hair. You looked down and closed your eyes, not wanting tears to fall in front of Joshua; he’d never seen you cry before.

The room was silent for a moment, then you heard footsteps.

“Hey,” Joshua said, squatting down in front of your desk. He moved your hands off of your head and placed your arms on your desk. Red-eyed and reluctantly, you looked at him. “I’m gonna help you, okay? You’ll get everything done tonight and you’ll get to sleep in tomorrow, I promise.” he smiled a toothless, genuine smile. “Let me go get my laptop, alright?”

On a normal day, you would insist that he should go home, that it was a Friday night and that you knew he had plans and that he should go enjoy them, but you hadn’t been this stressed since you got promoted. That being said, you simply nodded and admired his figure as he exited your office.

You began attaching the forms you needed him to fill out to an email as you waited. Even though it was on work terms, you were really excited to finally have some alone time with Joshua. You wished you were feeling more bubbly, for his sake, but he knew how to handle you in any state.

He came back with his laptop in one hand and a foldable chair in the other. He walked around to the side of your desk that you were on and set up the chair next to you before putting his laptop on your desk and turning it on.

“Thank you, Joshua, really. I know you had plans tonight, so it means a lot that you’re helping me.” you told him, but he just nodded. He was always the type to help without feeling the need to be thanked, so he almost never said ‘you’re welcome’.

You were typing and clicking at a rapid pace, forwarding things to your boss and to her colleagues, making sure everyone that was going on the business trip had the information they needed. You weren’t exactly why you were the one getting things for a business trip that you weren’t even going on, but you didn’t question it as you wanted to keep your job.

At around 9pm, you finally sent out your last email. You sighed loudly and slumped down in your chair dramatically with a blissful smile on your face. Joshua looked down at you and grinned.

“All done?” he asked and you nodded.

“I feel so much better.” you admitted and sat up straight again. You placed your elbow on your desk and rested your cheek in your hand, looking toward Joshua. “Are you almost finished? I can help you with the rest.”

“Actually,” he clicked his mouse a few times before looking at you, “I’m done too.” he closed his laptop and stood up and you followed suit. You smiled ear to ear and bent down to turn off your computer. Joshua folded the chair he was sitting in and you gathered your things before finally exiting your office. All of the lights in the building were turned off, except the emergency lights, so it was relatively dark.

“You know,” Joshua began as you made your way to the elevator, “the guys don’t even believe you’re real at this point.” you couldn't help but giggle.

“Yeah? Because you keep saying I’ll come to things and then I don’t?” you asked and he let out a breathy laugh, entering the elevator with you by his side and pressing the “2” button.

“I guess so… I must’ve made you sound too good to be true.” he looked over at you, but you kept your gaze on the elevator floor, hiding your blush. Was he playing some sort of game or were you still hypersensitive from the previous night? You figured if he had something to say he would just say it, but maybe he felt the same way as you in terms of not wanting to ruin your friendship… It felt like forever, but you eventually reached the second floor and made your way to Joshua’s workspace.

He placed his laptop on his desk and you plugged it into the charger as he went to put the chair away. You leaned against his desk as you waited, not exactly sure where he went. You tapped your foot on the linoleum floor and soon Joshua was headed back toward you. Though, the way he was walking was strange. His head was down and he seemed to be twiddling his fingers in front of him.

When he reached you, you stood up straight, a look of concern on your face.

“Are you oka-”

“I love you.”

You blinked up at him. “What?”

“Uhh, I’m in love with you. I don’t know why I’m telling you this right now.” he said, avoiding your gaze.

All you could do was stand still. Normally your body and mind reacted instinctively upon hearing things, but this time you were frozen. He finally looked you in the eyes and you felt your test tighten.

“Why…” you pondered for a moment, “Why didn’t you say something last night?!” you threw your hands up in the air frustratedly and stepped away from him. His face went from nervous to confused as he turned to look at you.

“What? Why would I have done that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I was horny out of my mind?” you raised your voice slightly, and he was looking at you like a deer caught in headlights. You looked at him for a moment, then sighed, burying your face in your hands. “Sorry, that was… anyway what I meant to say is that I like you too, a lot actually, love is just a really scary word and I’ve never been in love before so I didn’t want to word it that way and I’m not only interested in you physically, even though that’s how it sounded, it just would’ve been nice to know that yesterday because I’ve been like, really lonely for a while now and would’ve potentially, no, definitely wanted to hook up or something, but anyway that’s beside point-”

“Y/N.” Joshua interrupted your extremely nervous ramble and walked up to you, your chests almost touching. He reached up and gently tilted your chin so you were looking up into his beautiful brown eyes. Before you could ask what he was doing, his lips were on yours.

You couldn’t believe it, but his lips felt even softer than they looked. His kiss was gentle, warm, and inviting, just as he was.

You put your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, wanting to feel him against you as best as you could. His tongue slid into your mouth and his hands began roaming your body. He touched you everywhere he could, as if he’d thought about what he’d do this moment on an endless loop. His hands roamed your sides, squeezing your hips with a groan before moving up to your breasts.

“God this shirt…” he whispered into the kiss. You smirked against his lips as you leaned into his touch.

“What about it?” you replied quickly, unable to believe how amazing his hands felt even over your blouse.

“It’s so,” he bit your bottom lip as he pulled away from the kiss, “tight.” you moaned into the kiss as his hands travelled down your body once more. One stopped at your waist and the other continued to your ass. “These skirts are ridiculous too.” he sighed against your lips, pushing your lower half against his. You could feel him growing hard in his pants, his member prodding against your stomach only exciting you further.

“What?” you laughed, “Are they too tight?” you raised your eyebrow. He smirked against your lips, reaching down and grabbing the back of your thighs before lifting you up and setting you on the desk. You placed a lingering kiss on his lips, “Because I’ll show you tight.” you joked and he chuckled, looking down at the floor.

“I don’t know why I thought you would be able to stay serious this whole time.” he kissed you again, only this time with more force. You kept one hand on the back of his neck and moved the other one to his chest, beginning to unbutton his dress shirt. With each button that came undone, more of his beautiful honey-colored skin was revealed.

Once his front was fully revealed, you didn’t hesitate to run your hands across his perfectly sculpted chest and down his slender waist to rest on his belt buckle. He quickly untucked your shirt from your skirt and lifted it over your head, tossing it behind you. He unbuckled your bra with ease as he kissed you, almost aggressively pulling it off and tossing it to the side. When his hands finally touched your bare breasts, he let out a long sigh, his kisses becoming sloppier.

“This is so much better than I imagined.” he grunted, the words going straight between your legs. You couldn’t use words to express how happy, and aroused, it made you to know that Joshua had just as sinful thoughts about you as you had about him.

Joshua removed his hands from you to pull off his shirt. He dropped it at his feet and returned one hand to your breast, thumb roaming over your nipple as his other hand fiddled with the zipper on the side of your skirt. He tugged it down and you lifted your body enough so that he could pull it off.

Suddenly he grabbed your hips and slid you forward, your crotch pressing against his. He leaned down and took one of your nipples in his mouth, grinding his hardened member against you. The pressure on your clit and the wetness of his mouth on your breast had you whimpering, your fingers threaded through his platinum locks.

“J-Joshua, more,” you whined, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible. He sat you up straight and your hands immediately went to work on his belt. Your hands shook slightly as you undid it, your excitement getting the best of you. As soon as it was unbuckled, you popped the button open and unzipped his pants as he quickly toed his shoes off. He kicked his pants off as well and shoved them under the desk with his foot.

Your hand immediately went to palm his member over his boxers, a beautiful moan falling off of Joshua’s lips. He went from kissing your lips to your neck and you bit your lip, trying not to make the noises your body so desperately wanted to make.

You sighed before reaching into Joshua’s boxers, beginning to stroke his length. He inhaled sharply at the feeling before letting out a shaky breath. When you reached the top of his cock, you ran your thumb over the tip, precum dripping down his shaft.

“Y/N,” he moaned, “God I need to fuck you.” he let out a sigh as he rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

“Then do it.” you smirked, refusing to break eye contact as you slowly slid his boxers down his thighs. You placed a light kiss on his lips and shoved them the rest of the way down. He kicked them to where the rest of his clothes were before grabbing your hip with one hand and resting his other on the desk. He leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss, continuing to lean forward until you were laying flat against the cold wood.

He kissed you sweetly as his hand travelled down your body, moving right past where you needed him most, to grip your thigh. You knew he was teasing you and you hated it.

As soon as you went to complain, his lips were kissing your neck once more. He bit down gently on your skin before sliding his tongue over the wound. You let out a moan as he moved to another spot on your neck, repeating the process on another spot of supple skin.

You moved your hands to his hair and pulled on it, arching into his touch. He then peppered kisses across your chest before moving to your breasts. He wrapped his mouth around one and his large hand encompassed the other. He sucked on your nipple before pulling on it with his teeth, the action going straight between your legs.

He sloppily kissed his way down your stomach, his hands moving down your legs and removing your heels. When he reached right below your navel, he slowly spread your legs. You were hesitant, being so exposed always made you nervous, but you were too far gone to even think of changing anything.

He lightly blew on your clit, eliciting a loud moan to fall from your lips. Your back arched and you tugged on his hair, trying to pull him closer to your heat.

“Tell me what you want.” though his voice sounded sweet, his tone was adamant. He stared at your pussy, glistening beautifully just for him. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting the opportunity to touch you, to feel you.

“I,” he ran his finger along your heat, collecting your wetness and causing you to let out a shaky breath as he trailed his wet finger down your thigh. “I-I want your mouth.” you rushed. He continued gently roaming his finger all around your lower half, though purposefully avoiding your sensitive spot.

“Want my mouth… where?” he pouted slightly as he looked up at you from between your legs.

“Joshua please don’t make me-” he cut you off by slowly licking from your entrance to your clit. He lapped at your pussy, collecting your juices on his tongue before sucking on your clit. You breathed heavily as you grabbed at his hair, whimpers leaving your lips. He kitten licked at your heat as he slid one of his long fingers into you.

“Oh my god yes,” you moaned breathlessly as he pumped it in and out of you. He soon added a second finger, curling them inside of you before pumping them a few times and repeating the process. The tips of his fingers hit your spot, and he knew it too. You clenched around his fingers and moaned louder than you had the entire night.

“Joshua…” you said quietly, stopping his hand with yours. He looked up at you with wide eyes, thinking that he had done something wrong. You brought his fingers to your lips and Joshua bit his lip as he watched you suck them clean. You put your hand on the back of his head and crashed your lips to his, the taste of you still on his tongue.

“What is it?” he whispered against your lips. You let your tongue explore his mouth as he slowly stood up. You reached down to stroke his length once more, Joshua bucking into your hand involuntarily.

“Wanna come on your cock.” you admitted and felt him smirk against your lips. You laid back down eagerly, Joshua leaning with you, continuing the kiss.

He propped himself up on one elbow and moved his other hand in between your bodies, aligning his cock with your entrance. He kissed you passionately as he slid into you, a guttural moan falling from Joshua’s lips and a high-pitched one falling from yours. He buried his face in your neck as you got used to the feeling of each other, the euphoria being better than you could have imagined.

“Okay,” you exhaled and tapped his shoulder. He slowly pulled out of you and then slammed back in, repeating the slow yet menacing process until it was clear the both of you needed more.

Joshua stood up straight, your hips tight in his grip, and quickened his pace. You could feel every inch of him, a light sweat covering your forehead.

“Harder,” you pleaded, though your voice was barely audible.

Your wish was his command as he kept the fast pace, but began pounding into you mercilessly. With each thrust he hit your g-spot, causing your back to arch almost painfully.

“You feel so good baby,” he groaned, a quiet moan falling from your lips at the unexpected nickname.

Joshua couldn’t keep his eyes off of you and his ears worked hard to pick up every sound that fell from your lips. Your breasts bounced with each thrust and he could hear how wet you were; how wet he had made you. Other than how sinfully beautiful you looked under him, the fact that he was the one who was making you feel so good was driving him crazy.

“I’m so close,” you whimpered, eyes closing as you relished in the feeling. One of Joshua’s hands moved from your waist to your clit, adding pressure as he thrusted into you. You cried out, grabbing his hand that was on your hip and digging your nails into it.

“Look at me,” he demanded. As hard as it was, you opened your eyes and looked directly into his. There was hair sticking to his forehead and a few beads of sweat were rolling down his chest and you swore you could’ve come from the sight of him alone.

The combination of Joshua’s cock thrusting into you at the perfect angle along with his finger on your clit and the face he made when you clenched around him was enough to throw you over the edge. You came around him, the calling out of his name accompanying your shaking body in its euphoric state.

As soon as you came down from your high, Joshua pulled out of you and rubbed his length along your heat, cumming on your stomach with a loud moan.

You laid there, sweaty and exhausted, your chest moving up and down rapidly. You reached up and ran your hands through your hair as Joshua opened one of his desk drawers. He pulled out a napkin and wiped his cum off of you before tossing it into the trash can.

“Thank you,” you said shyly. He nodded and offered his hand to you. You took it and he pulled you up toward him, a small smile on your face.

“See I knew you were hot, but that was insane.” he pecked your lips as you laughed.

“Right back at you.” you moved a few of the hairs off of his forehead and admired his slightly dewy features.

“Now I say,” he ran his hands down your bare sides, “we stay at your place tonight. Our first time having sex should be our first time spending the night together right? I would say we could go to my place, it’s kind of a mess.” he suggested, lacing his fingers together behind your back. You smiled up at him.

“I love you too.” you said and his face dropped.

“What?” he mirrored you with his words.

“I love you too. I realized I never said it back to you before, but I do.”

Joshua remembered you mentioning not knowing what being in love feels like and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Then, as if a lightbulb went off in his head, he made a face of realization.

“It was the dick wasn’t it?” he questioned, causing you to let out a laugh.

“What’re you talking about?” you asked as you leaned back on your hands.

“Cause before you were all like ‘oh I don’t know what love is’ and now you’re saying you love me.” he impersonated you and now you were both laughing, specifically at the chances of it all.

“It wasn’t just the sex… but I will admit it was the deciding factor.”

“Well, I’m glad you decided to return the feeling.” the conversation ended as his eyes slowly made their way from your face to your neck. “I see I left my mark,” he ran his fingers over the few hickey’s he had left near your collarbones, “Sorry about that.”

Your eyes fluttered shut at his touch, your skin seemingly more sensitive than it was before. “Stop touching me or I’m gonna try and fuck you again and I would like our next time to be outside of the office.”

“So you mean like, at the park or something?” you opened your eyes and looked at him with a deadpan expression. He flashed you a dorky smile, but you just rolled your eyes, standing up to collect your clothing.

He tried to convince you that what he’d said was funny as the both of you got dressed, but you simply nodded and threw out an ‘mhm’ here and there.

As you left the office, hand in hand for the first time, you decided to stop by Joshua’s apartment so he could pick up some clothes for the weekend (he didn’t plan on going home until he had to) and to drop off his car, then head over to your place.

Once you arrived at your apartment, you took a somehow innocent shower together. Both of you were tired, but neither of you were through with feeling the other’s skin on your own. You took your time getting ready for bed, running a comb through your hair and applying moisturiser. You talked to Joshua and it felt like nothing had changed, you were still the best friends you were before, and you wondered if that meant you were in love with each other the entire time, maybe even before you ever realized you liked him.

You settled into your bed, Joshua’s bare chest under your head. He ran his hand through your damp hair as your eyelids grew heavier.

“So I guess we’re, what, together now?” he asked and you looked up at him.

“I’d like that if you would, yeah.” you said quietly, hoping that after your evening the two of you were on the same page.

“More than anything.”

He kissed your forehead and you returned to your spot on his chest, a thankful, thoroughly pleased smile on your face as you drifted off to sleep.

a/n: hi.. sooooo this is my first time writing a ~lengthy one shot and also my first time writing smut and i kNOW that it’s not very GOOD but i tried ok i promise i Will get better but yeah this is like 2/10 stars so i apologize :( i hope if anything that you guys like the storyline and/ or the dialogue or idk i hope you guys at least like one aspect about it sdjlsfjlkjsdf this was a bit rushed so admittedly it could be better but truthfully i got really excited about writing it ANYWAY!! i chose to write this based on the results from the writing preferences survey i have pinned! so if you wanna fill it out if you haven’t that would be super :^) again i hope you guys liked this and thank you so so much for reading <3

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randomfandominserts · 4 years

Text

urs by NIKI - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Playlist Series: Link

Urs by NIKI

Lyrics: “Trynna find where your head is, but I’m losing myself in the process

You’re bad for my health, all the good nights

Are they hidden goodbyes in disguise? I never know

You come see me only when I ask first

When you kiss me, do you wish it were her?

The best at being the worst

But fuck’s sake, I’m already yours.”

Warnings: Mentions of sex, language, angst, idk

Word Count: 3.2k

Saturday

Oikawa Tooru was beautiful. His hair was mussed from the relentless tugging you had just exposed it to, his face slightly flushed. It took all of your willpower to tear your gaze from his face when he turned back to look at you. You knew he’d be weirded out, you couldn’t stare at him like you were in love. That’s not what this was supposed to be.

He finished tugging on his shirt and held out a hand to you. No - not a hand. It was just your top. “Here,” he said, dropping it on your lap when you didn’t reach out fast enough. “I have to go to practice in an hour, and I wanted to grab something to eat first.” You pulled your shirt over your head at an agonizingly slow pace. He was kicking you out, of course he was. But you wanted to savor the moment, the sight of him slightly disheveled and the smell of him and the close proximity and- “Thanks for coming over though, (Y/N).” He gave you that smile - it was faked and forced but God, you loved his smile - before stepping away from the bed you were still seated on.

“No problem.” You stood, finally, and moved to pick up your bag and keys. “You don’t usually practice on the weekends. Do you have a game next week?” He shrugged, too consumed with sorting through his volleyball bag to pay any more attention to you.

“A couple practice matches, and a game on Friday.”

“Right.” He was done with you. “I’ll head out now. Have a good time at practice. Say ‘hi’ to Iwa for me?”

“Sure, sure.” He waved you goodbye - or maybe he was waving you away. Whichever, you shot him one last smile - not that he was looking at you to see it - and headed out.

It hadn’t always been like this between you two, at least not in private. You used to be friends, and you would talk and laugh and spend time together like any other pair of pals. Somewhere along the way, you both decided to try being friends with benefits. That’s what ruined it for you. Suddenly Oikawa was detached unless you were fucking, and you were so incredibly attached that it was embarrassing. No one noticed much of a change, because with your friends you were mostly still the bubbly, goofy pair that you had always been. But getting to see the Oikawa you loved when you were alone was limited to the times you were being intimate.

Sunday

It was an incredibly boring afternoon. You were already finished with all of your homework and wanted nothing more than to relax with a couple of friends. Unfortunately for you, most of your usual Sunday squad had already said they were busy. You were left with one option, one that wasn’t unwelcome but was awkward all the same. It had been ages since you and Oikawa had spent time together that wasn’t for, well, pleasure purposes, so you weren’t sure how the invite would go over, but you decided to give it a try despite that.

~Tooruuuu

There was no immediate response. Not even a semi-quick one, not like usual. Hmm. Maybe he hadn’t seen it? You decided to send another text, just in case.

~I’m bored

~Wanna have a movie day? I have snacks and Netflix :))

It was read immediately but was left unresponded to for about 5 minutes.

~busy today, sorry :(

~Oh, okay </3 Have fun!

~u too

Had he always been such a slow, dry texter? You sighed and tossed your phone aside. Guess it would be a solo movie night tonight.

Monday

Everyone was laughing, but you simply bit into your sandwich without glancing at the storyteller. Oikawa was retelling the story of how he met some girl Saturday night after practice. “She was beautiful, and I made a fool of myself!” he whined, while the surrounding third years jeered and laughed and teased. You weren’t in the mood for all that. You didn’t care that he got her number or that she was “the prettiest girl” he’s ever seen (and yes, that is a direct quote). You didn’t care that she was texting him right at that moment, or that she apparently went to Aoba Johsai with you guys. You especially didn’t care about how much fun they had yesterday at the park while you were alone in your room, or how she was smart and beautiful and perfect. You simply did not care in the slightest.

You felt a nudge in your ribs, and you glanced over to see Iwaizumi looking at you. “You good?” he asked quietly. How considerate of him, to quietly get in your business rather than let the whole table in on it. He didn’t know about the friends with benefits situation, why would he? So you sighed and shrugged, averting your attention back to your sandwich.

“Don’t really care about Tooru’s hot date, is all.” Luckily for you, Iwa didn’t press the matter. He let out a small hum, a minute sign of understanding, before turning back to the laughing group around you. He probably had some suspicions. Maybe you’d text him about it later, maybe call to explain your sour mood, but for now, you were happy to let it be. Now wasn’t the time to tell him about you and Oikawa’s arrangement.

Later that night, you sat alone in your room. You were bored and lonely and, despite all the qualms you held about it, you missed Oikawa dearly. It took only a couple of seconds to glance at your phone and realize practice was probably over, so you pushed aside your pride and opened up your messaging app.

~Hey

~Practice over? :)

And you waited. You waited and waited and waited until finally, 1 hour and 37 minutes later, you got a response.

~yeah

~what’s up?

~Wanna come over? Home alone and I’m bored ;p

It was almost ridiculous how quickly you texted back, especially since he took another 23 minutes to send his simple response.

~ok

~be over in 15

He took 26 minutes to get to your house, not 15, but at least he came. The time was spent as it usually was, with him peppering your skin with little kisses and him singing your praises while you melted like putty in his hands. It felt intimate and wonderful, but it also felt like only a moment, and you found yourself watching Oikawa pull on his clothes much too soon. You stayed planted on your bed, wanting nothing more than to curl up under your fluffy comforter with Oikawa by your side.

“Something wrong?” He was calling out to you from across the room, having noticed your frozen state. Of course he had noticed, he was one of the most perceptive people you knew. But you didn’t give in and only shook your head in response.

“No, just sleepy. You really know how to tire me out, huh?” You tried to smile and laugh, you tried to mask the lies. You knew he could see right through it, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he glanced down at his phone which had just given a little ‘beep.’ The corners of his lips twitched upwards as he tapped away at the screen. Immediately. “Who’s that?”

“You know the girl I met the other night? She invited me and the guys to this bakery she knows, as a late-night snack.” He was smiling fully now, completely occupied by the texts that were pouring in. Beep, beep, beep. It took a moment before he finally put it down and looked back at you. “I’m sure you can come too. If you want.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m tired, remember? I’m probably going to go to sleep.”

“Okay. Good, I’m gonna go then.” He tugged on his jacket and laced up his shoes. “Bye!”

“Goodnight,” you said weakly. Reluctantly.

“Yeah, goodnight.” It sounded so forced, but you didn’t bring it up. You simply curled under your blankets and waited until you heard your front door slam before falling asleep.

Tuesday

“Here.” Iwaizumi placed a small wrapped pastry in your outstretched hands. It was warm, like it had just been heated up, and it smelled lovely. It was early in the morning, just before classes were to start, and you hadn’t eaten yet. Iwaizumi was basically your savior.

“Thanks, Hajime.” You unwrapped the treat, eager to see what was inside. It was a small blueberry scone, which made you smile. “You didn’t bake, did you?” You faked disbelief, shaking your head with a laugh. “What if you poisoned it?”

“I got it from a bakery last night, idiot.” He tapped you on the shoulder, friendly and gentle, but hearing where he got it immediately caused a shift in your attitude.

“With Oikawa?” Iwaizumi was hesitant to answer, as he was hyperaware of the shift that had just occurred.

“...Yeah.” No longer in the mood to joke around, you simply lifted the treat to your lips and ate it in small nibbles. It was, unfortunately, delicious. You didn’t want to give this mysterious girl any credit but damn did she know a good bakery. “What’s going on with you two?” You shrugged, using the scone as an excuse to keep from speaking, but Iwa was too smart for his own good. He saw what you were doing and took back the pastry he had just gifted you. You gave him a small sigh.

“Nothing’s going on with us. Not really.” Iwaizumi was giving you a look that told you he didn’t believe you for 1 second. You sighed again, not wanting to crack, but having someone to talk to would be nice, wouldn’t it? “Honestly, Iwa? We fuck sometimes. But he’s so disconnected it hardly feels like anything more than a step backward.” Your friend gave no visible reaction to your confession. It was like he wasn’t surprised at all. But instead of teasing you or saying ‘I told you so’ he let you continue. “And now there’s that girl, you know, the ‘prettiest girl in the world’ or whatever. And I know it’s just a crush, but I don’t know, what if I’m losing him? I bet the whole time we were together last night he was thinking about her.”

“They just met.” He was trying to comfort you, in his own way. But it fell on deaf ears.

“Whatever. I have to get to class.” You gathered your items off the floor and headed off down the hall. “Thanks for the scone.”

Iwaizumi sent you a million (AKA two) texts that night after their practice match, trying to talk to you about the Oikawa situation. Unfortunately for him, you were too busy breaking your own heart (AKA having sex with Oikawa) to text back anything helpful. And, unfortunately for you, Oikawa received a call from his new girl crush in the middle of the act and had to cut it short.

“Sorry, (Y/N)!” he said, putting on his best puppy dog face, “She’s lost! I need to go rescue her!”

“Right.” You were frustrated, cold, empty without him. But he was already tugging on his shoes and dialing her number on his phone.

“I can’t leave a lady stranded!” he was saying, so proud of himself and happy that he could run off and rescue this mysterious maiden. You could almost laugh. He was leaving you naked and cold, he was stranding you to go find this girl who couldn’t even make her way around the city she lived in. He was on the phone with her by the time he was out the door, laughing and smiling and leaving you feeling almost sick. Maybe instead of a laugh, you would cry.

You pulled out your phone, finally needing the advice that Iwaizumi was itching to give you.

~Should I end this thing?

~What do you think?

~How helpful.

Wednesday

You were, once again, sitting at lunch and angrily munching on your meal while everyone around you laughed and enjoyed their time. The topic of conversation was, once again, Oikawa’s beautiful new girl friend. Not ‘girlfriend’ yet, but you were sure that’s where they were headed. How annoying.

Iwa sat beside you like usual, and he made sure to glance over in your direction every time Oikawa mentioned his crush. You’d think his concern was sweet, if it wasn’t for the fact that Oikawa quickly noticed that you were the subject of his friend’s constant looks and asked if you were alright. It took everything in you to not scream or hit Iwaizumi or lash out at Oikawa. Instead, after a deep breath, you plastered a smile on your face and turned to Oikawa.

“I’m fine,” you said, “Just tired.” Though you were sure it was obvious that you were lying - your fake smile wasn’t nearly as convincing as Oikawa’s - no one said a thing. Oikawa went back to his story - him and his girl had a movie night yesterday after he helped her get home, how cute - and you went back to stabbing your salad aggressively.

You were pulled aside following the meal. Iwaizumi stood, arms crossed and face stern, ready to tell you what you needed to hear (though, it definitely wasn’t going to be what you wanted to hear).

“I know that you like him,” he started.

“Love,” you corrected. He ignored you.

“But trust me when I say he’s not oblivious. And you’re not subtle.” You sighed, crossing your arms to match your friend’s stance.

“So? What am I supposed to do about it?”

“If you don’t want to lose him? Tell him the truth.” Iwaizumi walked off, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You didn’t text Oikawa that night. He didn’t text you either.

Thursday

You laughed at lunch, but only because Oikawa was off doing who-knows-what with his little crush. They had a lunch date or something, who knows. He squeezed in time to see her whenever he could (or at least that’s what you gathered from his teammates). He was even inviting her to practice.

He never did that with you.

Friday

You weren’t sure what possessed you to attend the team’s game.

You never come to these things. It was loud and hot and you could hardly push your way past the crowd of Seijoh fans that were packed into the gym. Looks like everyone had the same idea as you and came early enough to see the team’s individual warm-ups.

Because the other team had yet to arrive and start their warm-ups you were able to slip down to the court fairly easily. You just wanted to say hi to your friends and wish them luck before the game started. You also had a little treat stuffed in your pocket: some of Oikawa’s favorite candy in a little good-luck baggie. Maybe if you could get him alone you would give him the gift and tell him what you’d been thinking about for the past week (in your head you imagined it would likely go something like ‘I’m in love with you, Tooru, and I want to be with you!’ Very dramatic and romantic).

After spotting Oikawa’s head peeking up over the crowd of players, you began to make your way in his direction. How lucky, he wasn’t even practicing yet. You were determined to catch him before he got into his game mode, but you were suddenly stopped by a firm hand on your arm. Iwa had caught your arm and held you in place, keeping you from your mission of finally confessing to Oikawa. You turned to glare at Iwa, to give him a piece of your mind, but he only shook his head at you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see To- uh, to support the team.” Smooth.

He dropped your arm and quickly - nervously?- glanced over your shoulder before averting his gaze right back to you. Maybe he hadn’t meant for you to see, but you noticed anyway. You turned your head slightly, just in time to see most of the team had moved out of your line of sight to expose Oikawa and - no way.

He was bending down and kissing her, right there, for everyone to see. For you and Iwaizumi and the rival team and Oikawa’s fangirls and the entire crowd and everyone to see.

“Oh.” You turned back to Iwaizumi, whose expression was unreadable. “I, uh, I didn’t know they were actually, uh, dating.” You tried to laugh, like it was some kind of funny joke. “Didn’t they meet a week ago? This is kinda fast, huh?”

“(Y/N)...” Iwa looked like he wanted to say more, but there was a quick whistle ‘toot’ that called his attention. His team started to make their way to the court for the official warm-ups.

“Hey, don’t mind me. Go play!” You were smiling - God, how were you smiling? - and you shooed him off to the court. “Have a good game!” He looked torn but still shuffled over to join his team. You were ushered into the stands and ended up next to Oikawa’s crush. No, wait, girlfriend. How wonderful.

You stayed for the entire game. Maybe because you felt it would be a waste to go. Maybe because you wanted to support the team. Maybe because you didn’t know what else to do with yourself at that moment. Whichever the case, you suffered through the game for no reason. There was no one waiting for you when it ended. There was nothing to say.

Once you got home, it took everything in you to muster up the courage to shoot a simple text Oikawa’s way.

~I went to your game today! You played great :)

By now you were expecting a reply an hour later, if at all. So it came as a shock when a new text popped up on your phone not even 5 minutes later.

~I’m sorry, (Y/N), I think we should stop talking.

You turned off your phone.

Thursday

You and Oikawa were just friends again. Maybe that’s why things felt so normal between you two. You could laugh and talk and joke without having to worry about anyone finding out your secret. Unfortunately for you, being friends with Oikawa was what made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Lunch was different now. His girlfriend always sat with you, taking up the tiny spot that used to sit empty next to Oikawa. She was funny, you guess, but it ruined the flow of the conversations sometimes. It felt forced to you, she felt out of place. But maybe that was just your jealousy talking, because no one else acted like anything was different at all.

And maybe you were ridiculous, but you were still in love with him. Maybe it was easier to be in love when you didn’t have to pretend that you weren’t attached. Maybe it was easier to hide it when you didn’t have any alone time anymore. Were you happier this way? Who knows. You missed everything about him. You missed the way he touched you and the feeling of him against your skin. You missed his voice and you missed the way he held you. But you could accept it. It was better this way, right? Besides, he looked so happy with his new girlfriend. Who would want to ruin that?

But, fuck, you wished more than anything that you could get up in his face and tell him, “I’m yours.”

#oikawa x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#Haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #hq imagine #hq x reader #oikawa #oikawa imagine #haikyuu imagine #reader insert

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wrens-aviary · 4 years

Text

Trust Me Chapter 2

Hello. Welcome to chapter 2. I hate making websites with html. School is not fun idk why I do this to myself. Sorry that’s unrelated. Here is the next chapter. I am making this like the same time as the movie.

Playlist for chapter 2: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_WXTMoBYYTO0edlpRY4Gr_EeEvnQ-RzS

I open my eyes and stare at the wood ceiling above me drenched in darkness. I’m not sure if I was really asleep or if my eyes were simply closed as my mind wandered. I am not home, but is there really a place for me to call home? Maybe this is the closest I have. The Couffaines seem nice, and Anarka knew my mom. They were friends. Mom. As I think of her my hand reaches to the chain around my neck. This ring is all I have of her. I’ll never take it off.

As I shift in the bed I feel quite... stale is the best word to describe it. I’ve been wearing the same clothes for two days. I didn’t have time to change after going to the hospital and after the plane ride and nap I just took I feel gross. I stand up and move toward the door unsure of the time. I quietly slide my door open and move toward the main deck needing to feel a little less caged.

I breath in deep. The air outside is cool and crisp. It must be late in the night as I can see the stars so clearly. Staring up into the sky I hear the soft strumming of a guitar. I move back toward the stairs and climb past the control deck to the upper deck. Luka is sitting in a chair on the other side of a ping pong (table tennis) table holding a guitar. He looks so peaceful. The music he plays sounds melancholic. It’s beautiful, just like him. What? nope? I didn’t just think that?

“Did you sleep alright?” He asks without looking away from the water or stopping what he’s playing.

“Not sure,” I respond as I walk to the railing and lean over looking out at the water. The way it reflects the stars is mesmerizing. “Why is it so sad?” I question the tune he’s playing.

“I wouldn’t say its all sad.”

I look back at him and our eyes meet. He smiles softly as my expression remains still. After a moment I turn to look back at the water.

“There’s a girl,” he starts, “she is a friend of my sister, and I like her, but she’s in love with someone else and even if she doesn’t realize it yet I already know that she can’t let him go.”

“And she knows how you feel?”

“Yeah. She’s known for a while. She’s been saying recently she want’s to move on, but I know she’s not ready. I told her to think about things while she’s on her class trip in New York, and I’m afraid that when they get back tomorrow she’s going to tell me what I already know.”

I feel sorry for Luka but it sounds like its best for her to admit things now than string him along only to admit later that she can’t love him the way she loves this other boy. “I hope that she can be as honest about her feelings with you as you were with her. No matter what happens it would be best to make future decisions based on the truth. Even if she can’t let go now she may still want to try and move on with you, and at that point it becomes your decision although...” I pause questioning if I should share my own thoughts or if he’d rather not be swayed in this decision... “I would never want to waste my time loving someone who may never love me back,” I whisper the end, but I am sure he still heard me.

I turn away from the water and move toward the stairs and Luka, “You all wouldn’t happen to have a shower on this boat?” I question lightly hoping to ease the tension in the air.

“Yeah,” he smiles as he moves his guitar and stands from his chair. He’s taller than me. As I look up at him I can’t stop myself from thinking how pretty his eyes are. And in this moment... my stomach growls... yeah... it sounds like a whole ass whale just fucking signaled that I haven’t eaten in over 24 hours. As I look down in embarrassment hoping that my face isn’t completely red I hear him giggle softly. Holy shit. He just giggled and I think it was the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

“Sorry, I was so nervous on the plane I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything so I’m a little hungry,” I explain smiling at him shyly. Honestly if that giggle hadn’t given me the strength to persevere I probably would have just curled up into a ball on the deck and died right there.

“How about I show you were the bathroom is and heat up some food while you shower?” Wow he’s so thoughtful and amazing... AND IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE GET A GRIP GIRL HE LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU HE LIKES HIS SISTER’S FRIEND!

“Yeah, that would be really nice. Thank you so much Luka, but you really don’t need to make anything. If you show me where the kitchen is I can make something for myself after I shower. I wouldn’t want you to have to cook just for me.”

“I was kind of hungry anyways so it’s fine. How do feel about spaghetti?”

“Perfect,” I say smiling at him.

“Great!” He begins to move down towards the lower deck and I follow. We pass by a kitchen that I hadn’t noticed before and move back towards the rooms. Just past the rooms Luka slides open a door and turns on a light. It’s a small, but nice looking bathroom. I’m rather surprised how little clutter there is in the bathroom given the state of the rest of the boat. “There are clean towels under the sink and we all use the same shampoo and bodywash, you can use a small wash rag from under the sink for now and we’ll get you your own loofah tomorrow. There should be an unopened toothbrush in the cabinet above the sink as well. I’ll be in the kitchen whenever you finish.”

-in the shower-

As I wash up I can’t help but admire the soap the Couffaine’s use. Luka must always smell really nice. That may be the creepiest thing I’ve ever thought about another person ohmygod please I need to stop. I am only thinking these things because I’m trying to distract myself from the shit show that is my life in this moment. Yeah. That’s it. It’s not like I could actually like this guy. I barely know him he’s just being nice and I’m feeling lonely that’s it.

As soon as I step out of the shower and begin to dry off I realize I didn’t grab any clean clothes from my room.

“Crap,” not even a second later I hear a soft nock at the bathroom door. “Hello?”

“Hey y/n, I realized after I started cooking you may not have anything to change into so I grabbed one of my tee-shirts and some sweatpants for you if you want them.”

Ohmygod is he a saint? wtf this boy is not even real I swear.

“Yeah, I’ll take you up on that,” I respond as I wrap my towel around me and slide the door open half way hiding most of my body behind it and leaning a bit to see Luka holding a small pile of neatly folded clothing... is he... blushing??? Wow that’s fucking adorable.

“Thank you Luka,” I say as I reach out to accept the clothing he’s offered to me. As he gives them to me our hands touch and I swear my entire being got a whole two degree’s warmer.

“I’ll go wait in the kitchen. The pasta’s done so I’ll just split it into two bowls.”

“Yeah I’ll be there in a minute. Thanks again Luka, for the clothes and for cooking, and everything else really. You’ve treated me really well since I got here. It means a lot to me,” I say as I look to the side of the doorway unable to keep eye contact with the boy. As I slowly look back to him I see him smiling at me. He really does have a sweet smile. “Anyways, I’m gonna change now,” I say as I realize that I’m standing before Luka still wrapped in a towel.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the kitchen,” he says as he turns around and I slide the door shut. Is my heart beating fast? I don’t know anymore. As I begin to pull on the clothes he handed me I feel much more comfortable. The tee-shirt is black, soft, and just a little baggy on me, and the sweatpants are the same.

After towel drying my hair a bit I hang up the towel to dry and exit the bathroom turning the light off as I go. I walk toward the kitchen and find Luka sitting at a kitchen island with a bowl of spaghetti sitting before him. He seems to be writing in some sort of notebook as he waits.

“Hey,” I say as I slide onto the barstool next to him and look at the bowl in front of me. There’s still a bit of steam coming off of it.

“Hey, I hope the clothes aren’t too big,” he responds as he sits the notebook down on the counter. I only saw a bit of the inside, but it looked to be staff paper. He must compose a lot of music he was working in the back of the notebook.

As I look up from the notebook I meet his gaze and realize I hadn’t responded yet, “Oh yeah they’re great actually. I always prefer loungewear to be a bit big on me.” He nods in response and we both begin eating. It’s a comfortable quite as we sit there eating together.

Before I know it I’ve finished my bowl and I feel quite full. I look up to see that Luka has also finished eating. He’s smiling at me.

“Thank you. It was really good,” I smile back at him.

“No problem. I’m usually hungry so if you ever want to eat with some company just text me.”

“Oh... I don’t have a phone,” I respond and he looks a tiny bit surprised. “My father didn’t like my mother and I having access to people other than him.” At my explanation Luka furrows his brows. He looks concerned. “He’s not a very good man. That’s why I’m here. My mother is dying, and if I stayed there he would have controlled me the same way he did her so she sent me away.” I reach up to stroke the ring on my necklace as I speak. “Apparently our mother’s were friends when they were younger. They were even in a band together.” I smile as I imagine how happy and free my mother must have felt back then.

I sigh as I lean back in my chair and place my hands down on the counter in front of me. Luka slowly moves his own hand over mine and holds it. We look at each other and as he smiles at me and squeezes my hand lightly he speaks, “I’m glad you’re here y/n, and I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you’re happy here.”

“Thank you Luka.” I don’t know who this other guy that his crush likes is, but he must be a superhero or something because I don’t think any normal person could outshine Luka Couffaine.

After helping Luka clean up we head back toward our rooms.

“How about I take you out tomorrow to get anything you need?” Luka offers.

“I’d like that. Thank you Luka... I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.” I say before sliding open my door and slipping into my room. Just before I close it I hear him respond with a soft goodnight.

As I lay in my bed and drift off to sleep I find myself thinking of the soft sad tune that Luka was playing earlier on the upper deck. It was beautiful, but I hope that it will change. Luka deserves to be happy and I want to hear him play a song that is warm and hopeful because that is how he makes me feel.

#luka couffaine #luka couffaine x reader #mlb fanfic #mlb luka #mlb #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous #miraculous lb #miraculous luka #waptrustme

49 notes · View notes

benscursedkid · 5 years

Note

could i perhaps request 9 + felix... maybe?¿

of course!! thank you for requesting!! enjoy!

felix x slytherin!mc!reader

words: 1.8k ~ oops…

genre: angst

warnings: no actual sexual content, but it is heavily implied!!

a/n: this takes place after mc’s graduation!! and my own mc is a ravenclaw so i’ve never experienced felix as my prefect myself– just a heads-up. i’ve also never written for felix before so i hope you enjoy!!

*i tried to make this gender neutral seeing as idk what you guys want nor like so if you don’t specify in the request, the mc will likely be gender neutral. i am willing to write for both genders, no matter the pairing, though!!*

“You need to find happiness without me.”

Its only a whisper, something mumbled under your breath as you slip your shirt back on, but it was enough.

Felix sighs from his place, spread out across his king sized bed, something that he’s realized is way too big for one lone person. It was this realization, along with many others, that led him to inviting you in it all those months ago. Like a fool, you accepted.

Even now, as he gets up wordlessly to hand you your jacket, you haven’t changed. You were a fool back in school for many reasons –reasons you’ve tried hard to forget– you were a fool when you agreed to whatever arrangement this is, and you’re still a fool now for not being able to quit it.

Though, really, it’s him that you can’t quit… How pathetic.

You decide to push forth with this topic of conversation. You know he heard you before and it’s long overdue anyhow. “You do know that, don’t you, Felix?”

The man in question hums, his brows crinkling. “Know what?” He asks, even if you both know it’s a weak effort.

A huff escapes you as you tie up your laces, looking up at him as he stands before you. “Don’t play that with me, Felix. We both know you’re not that thick.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Comes his immediate reply and you inwardly curse wherever this stubbornness is coming from. “Look, MC, can’t we just leave this alone? I mean, this arrangement works so why change it now?”

“It works for you,” You growl, abandoning the other foot in favor of meeting his gaze. He looks properly disheveled; his usually slicked back hair is a mess of rogue strands, his pale skin shines with drying sweat, and his lips are swollen and red.

If you had told yourself a few months ago that this is a sight you’d soon become used to seeing, you would have laughed. You would have thought that there was no way in the world that the guy you had a crush on when you were young would ever reciprocate your feelings, especially after all this time. You were right of course, but for once you wish you weren’t.

“MC–”

“No, Felix, I’m sorry, but it had to be said! I know you know how I feel about you, you’d have to be outrageously dull not to,” The brunette’s mouth has snapped shut, not having expected this from you. Not when you were normally so quiet after your ‘visits’.

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you take a moment to collect yourself before diving back in.

“…Felix, I know what this is, I’m not that little kid that you knew before,” Your companion visibly stiffens at the accusation, but true to self he stays calm, not giving away more than that. “If you wanted someone to replace that hole they left in you, then you should have just asked.”

He blinks; once, twice. “You know about that?”

“Everyone knows about that,” You say, your tone softening ever so slightly at the reminder.

Unfortunately, word of Felix’s failed relationship had long since gotten around by the time you’d ran into him again. At first it made you sad, thinking about what he must have been going through. Four years of your time dedicated to someone only to have them leave you like it was nothing. It’s a feeling you’re familiar with. Granted it was your brother who left you, but you’re sure it hurts all the same.

You had almost made up your mind to stay out of it until you found yourself stumbling into his place at an ungodly hour of the night, only to disappear out the back door before morning. It was then that you had started to wonder if maybe he had gotten over it quicker than anyone anticipated. Though, a part of you always knew he hadn’t. You just suppose that sometimes, if you’re desperate enough, you can convince yourself that all the pieces are in place, that things are better than they are.

Currently, Felix curses to himself, a rare sight. A hand flies to massage his temples, before he spins back around to face you.

His mouth opens and closes mutely, sadly. Not a sound comes out as he searches for the right words. You watch, silently, as all fail him.

“MC…” Felix ventures, licking his lips that have since gone dry. His tone is soft, cautious as if he were speaking to a child. “I-I didn’t mean to… to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”

You offer a small nod, but you refuse to meet his eyes lest you fall back into them.

“I’m sorry,” Slips past his lips next and at that you manage to finally drag your stare back up to his. “For being selfish with you.”

For a moment you say nothing and neither does he. The only sound comes from the life outside and you swear the moon hates you, if the way the moonlight illuminates his face just right is of any indication. The silence between you is thick with tension and heavy with a kind of truth that only comes from heartache.

You hate it.

“MC–”

“What am I to you?”

He reels, taken aback by your sudden question. You know you probably shouldn’t have taken this there, that you likely won’t like any answer he gives you– because it’s not the one you want –but you couldn’t help yourself. The thought has plagued you for much longer than you care to admit and now seems as good a time as any.

“I mean, I know you don’t feel the same, I get that, but…” You trail off, no words seem to properly explain your train of thought.

A beat. “What do you want me to say?”

The words hit home, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You hadn’t expected him to ask. Make up an excuse, attempt to placate or convince you, yes, but ask? Not even close.

Suddenly your chest burns with an unpleasant feeling, one that you think has crept up on you these past few months, but now it shows no mercy. It tears at your flesh and pollutes your veins, getting stuck inside your lungs. It’s suffocating you, but you can’t find it in yourself to let it go.

“I’m just a distraction, aren’t I?” You don’t know where the anger comes from, or rather you don’t want to dwell on where it comes from, but it seeps into your voice. It twists your words into those of someone bitter, someone bruised from a love that strangled them dead.

Your old prefect goes to object, but upon realizing he can’t honestly deny the claims, thinks better of it. He shrinks into himself, a sight you thought you’d never see. You suppose shame can do that to a person.

“I’m just a body to keep the other side of the bed warm, aren’t I? Just someone to keep around so that you don’t feel so lonely?” All your pent up anger and resentment bubbles up to the surface and for once you let it, needing the relief that comes with getting it off your chest and out in the open.

You laugh at yourself, ironically, a bit manically maybe. Felix flinches at the sound, knowing that he’s the cause of such a display starting to slowly eat at him.

“Wow…” Your eyes are cold, mirthless as you seem to gape in astonishment at all your bad decisions. No longer are you suffering in silence, having chosen to do it out in the open for him to see. “I’m here simply to make you feel better, huh? To try and fix what they broke? Well, let me tell you, Felix, that’s some bullshit. You and I both know that I’ll never be what you want because I’ll never be them.”

“I’m so sor–”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Rosier,” You spit, the faux smile on your face saying something entirely different from your tone. Felix grimaces at your use of his last name, a habit you seemed to have gotten past after the first week of meeting again. “I mean, I can’t really blame you, can I? You used me to help yourself and I let you.”

“It was very Slytherin of you, I must say. I mean, why try and put yourself back together when you can break someone else? Not when it’s so much easier to break someone else’s heart than it is to focus on your own that’s already broken.”

You look completely mad now, you’re sure. Your words are no longer directed at him, but yourself. You shake your head as Felix watches, knowing better than to interrupt.

“Tell me, Felix,” You muse, finally turning back to him, your head tilted in curiosity. “Did it make you feel better?”

His brown orbs take you in, tattered and torn, and with an over abundance of shame, he nods his head. “For a while,” He whispers against your cheek, his breath fanning across your eyelashes.

You hum in acknowledgment, a thought coming to mind that pushes past your teeth. “I’m not mad at you, ya know?”

He perks at this, the space between his brows wrinkled in confusion. “Wha–you’re not?”

“No,” You declare with a shrug of your shoulders. “You’re not the only selfish one, Rosier. I knew how this would go and I did it anyway because having even a little of you, even if it’s all the wrong pieces and in all the wrong ways, is so much better than nothing at all.”

His eyes widen in surprise, seemingly unable to process what you’ve just said, as if the mere thought was completely absurd. You see then something you’ve tried to deny for a long time.

He’s just as damaged as you, and that’s why you can’t stay.

Having calmed down some, you straighten your jacket on your shoulders and clear your throat. “Look, Felix, I don’t think I should come over anymore.”

Felix glances at you briefly, guiltily, and concedes with a nod. One of his hands fall onto your shoulder and he sighs heavily. “Yeah.. yeah, I think that’s for the best.”

With nothing left to say he considers walking you to the door, but decides against it. That’s probably the last thing you want right now.

Instead, he picks his own shirt up off the floor and slips it over his head as you open the door to leave. You risk a glance back at his defeated form and against your better judgment, you call out to him one last time.

“You need to find happiness without me, Felix.”

“I know.”

“And I hope you do.”

“…You, too.”

52 notes · View notes

samporo · 7 years

Note

1-150

YOLO. No Ragrets. Recycled some answers cause

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

- My Best Friend, Danielle!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

- I’m a mixture of both (also depends on how much alcohol I have). But from my friend’s perspective, I’m shy about the first 5 minutes and then I act like who I am. But I tend to be more shy around people I find attractive.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

- My Best Friends this weekend and old friends I haven’t seen in a while!

4. Are you easy to get along with?

- I find myself easy to get along with unless you’re a racist, sexist, etc. I will tell you off and put you in your place if you find other people’s existence below yours.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

- Nope because the people I like don’t give a fuck bout me lmao

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

- I’m attracted to people who have a sense of purpose and know what they’re doing. I’m attracted to people who know their dreams are difficult but aren’t afraid to reach them. I’m attracted to people who are broken and lost hope. I’m attracted to people who smile even though they are not happy inside and don’t want to show it. :B

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

- Probs not lmao but who knows (98% sure of it)

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

- MINA FROM TWICE

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

- Nope. I talk about sex majority of the time but make inappropriate sexual innuendos all the time. :^)

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

- Angelica and Danielle!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

- “Your dick size is a joke”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

- 1) Twice - TT

- 2) Twice - Knock Knock

- 3) Red Velvet - Rookie

- 4) Rihanna - Love on the Brain

- 5) Kehlani - Advice

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

- YES. But i make sure they think I don’t like it because I have a persona to upkeep.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

- I do~

15. What good thing happened this summer?

- A few things happened this summer that were good but one major good thing that happened was my friends driving up from North Carolina to visit and I haven’t seen them in a while. It was really great to catch up with them and spend time with them that it brought me a lot of joy and it’ll always be a memorable time for me!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

- Okay now I remember who it was with lmao… maybe… maybe not… probs not… probs. idk lmao

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

- I think there is life everywhere and we are but a speck of dust in the universe. Please don’t make me think about this because I will mindfuck myself..

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

- From time to time but it’s because we have a mutual friend group

19. Do you like bubble baths?

- Ya but my bath is too small and outdated :(

20. Do you like your neighbors?

- Never met them so yes I do like them.

21. What are you bad habits?

- Taking depression naps, being petty/salty, my laziness and procrastination, I can keep going but I rather not disappoint you l0l

22. Where would you like to travel?

- Yes.. I love to travel and the idea to visit other cultures, but I got no money so :(

23. Do you have trust issues?

- I do to an extent at a certain point in our relationship when it gets there but at the beginning, not usually.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

- My favourite part of my daily routine is driving home from class around 4pm, eating a small plate of food then taking my 2 hour depression nap :’)

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

- My teeth :( When I was a kid, I barely brushed my teeth and now I regret it because they’re yellowish and stained, so it really affects my self-confidence.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

- Contemplate if I really need to go to that class and spend 10 minutes giving myself reasons to skip but in the end I get up and cry in the shower :’)

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

- I wish my skin was clearer

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

- Pia and Janina lmao.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

- Nope :)))))))

30. Do you ever want to get married?

- Eventually, but we’ll see where life makes me.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

- Nopee

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

- Yoon Yong Bin from ICanSeeYourVoice and Mark from Got7 :’)

33. Spell your name with your chin.

saJKMN LOL

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

- League and Overwatch :))

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

- Um definitely TV….

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

- Yeah.. sometimes and other times I do because what do I got to lose? That’s right. I got nothing to lose. Keep bringing me them L’s!!!!

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

- Nothing because I accept it and there’s nothing awkward about silence unless you make it awkward cause you think you gotta force yourself into thinking you need to keep a conversation going.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

- My dream person.. hmm… I would start off with someone who has a nice ass smile because that’s what usually catches my attention and I would love to see their smile every day. Height is not an issue for me, shorter, taller, etc. :) Personality, I really like someone who has a nice balance of social life, responsibility, personal life, and work life. I really don’t like someone who is too social that their other aspects of life are failing but if it happens, then so be it lmao. I like the basic necessities: honestly, communication, and loyalty. I also really like when they just want to be lay there and cuddle all day or play video games. I just really like when we spend time together whether I meet them in real life or online haha. That’s all I could think of now tbh :P

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

- Forever 21, H&M, J. Crew, Uniqlo, Zara

40. What do you want to do after high school?

- Well I wanted to study either forensic psychology or culinary, but I made myself to think my cooking wasn’t good enough for culinary and I wouldn’t make it in that field. So now it’s psychology and HR :)

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

- Everyone is prone to mistakes so I definitely think they deserve a second chance but after that, it’s a no go because it becomes a decision.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

- It means I’m thinking about one of the following:

- Sex w you

- Never hanging w you again

- Food

- Dicks

43. Do you smile at strangers?

- I smile at everyone I come across hoping it becomes contagious even if I hate my life :’)

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

- Definitely bottom of the ocean for me (If it means I survive too)

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

- What I’m going to eat tbh and my crippling debt.

46. What are you paranoid about?

- Being lonely forever.

47. Have you ever been high?

- :^)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

- Always!!!

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

- Yes and no one will ever know :^)

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

- Light grey!

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

- At times I do but it’s only because I’d just want to see what they are packaging down below :^)

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

- My teeeeEEEEeeEEEeeth

53. Favourite makeup brand?

- Anastasia

54. Favourite store?

- HMART

55. Favourite blog?

- samporo.tumblr.come ;^)

56. Favourite colour?

- Violet-Purple~ but now it’s starting to be Rose Quartz~

57. Favourite food?

- Bun Bo HUEEE

58. Last thing you ate?

- Hibachi noodles :^)

59. First thing you ate this morning?

- Nothing.. I don’t eat in the morning

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

- Being petty…

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

- Never have I ever been suspended/expelled

62. Been arrested? For what?

- Almost :\ I thought it was cardiac arrest but God was just playing me

63. Ever been in love?

- I have :)

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

- My first kiss was back in like 4th grade when me and this girl were mocking each other and we were leaning in back and forth like chickens eating food off the floor and we pecked each other on the lips and I told her her lips were really dry LMAO

65. Are you hungry right now?

- I’m always hungry…

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

- NOPE. Jk they’re cool but I like my real friends :)

67. Facebook or Twitter?

- Neither…

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

- Tumblr because it has became my place of comfort.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

- I am not

70. Names of your bestfriends?

- Angelica, Danielle, Pia, Janina, Kiana

71. Craving something? What?

- Dick, human touch/warmth/feelings, food

72. What colour are your towels?

- Mocha and Gray

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

- I have 2 body pillows, 1 square pillow, 2 full pillows, and 3 queen sized pillows.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

- I used to but not anymore because they’ve grown up and moved on with their life :(

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

- I have about 4

75. Favourite animal?

- Octopus :)

76. What colour is your underwear?

- Currently, it is maroon with white polka dots

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

- Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

- I like orange sherbet…..

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

- Black tank top :^)

80. What colour pants?

- I’m wearing black puma shorts

81. Favourite tv show?

- Steven Universe!! and Nikita :)

82. Favourite movie?

- Kimi No Na Wa definitely

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

- Havent watched either of them.. opps

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

- I don’t know her…

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

- Stop asking me idk :(

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

- Destiny the Whale Shark because she’s nearsighted like me and thats the stuggle I gotta deal with when I don’t have glasses on :’)

87. First person you talked to today?

- Probably snap chat to Duy-ABS

88. Last person you talked to today?

- Angelica!!

89. Name a person you hate?

- I don’t hate anyone :)

90. Name a person you love?

- Angelica xoxo

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

- Myself :\

92. In a fight with someone?

- Nope!

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

- Like 2 pairs :( I need more but so expensive..

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

- In total, about 6 (3 each)

95. Last movie you watched?

- Don’t Breathe. It was alright

96. Favourite actress?

- I don’t have one lmao

97. Favourite actor?

- Me :^)

98. Do you tan a lot?

- I do not tan at all

99. Have any pets?

- I have no doggo! His name is Latte and he’s a Siberian Husky. but I do want a cat.

100. How are you feeling?

- Empty and unsure of what my life will become.

101. Do you type fast?

- I believe so when I actually know what I want to write.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

- Many things. I think about it a lot before bed (’:

103. Can you spell well?

- Ya i guess???

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

- Some people yes, but we moved on from them for a reason, right?

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

- Yeah usually with my cousins and it’s pretty nice.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

- I’m sure I have.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

- Yah and it’s okay.. not a huge fan

108. What should you be doing?

- Reading and taking notes…. but I probably won’t until 2am :)

109. Is something irritating you right now?

- Not particularly, just in general: Where is the love at my life at??? Can ya hurry up. tf

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

- Yeah and I don’t know why I would disrespect myself like that but I can’t help it lmaoo

111. Do you have trust issues?

- Isn’t this question 23???

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

- Danielle :( when she read her break-up letter to me…

113. What was your childhood nickname?

- Cu Tai (my viet name is Tai lmao)

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

- Yup! I been to New York, New Jersey, Maryland, Michigan, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, California, and North Carolina… I believe.

115. Do you play the Wii?

- I do! When it’s at parties but not at home.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

- YES (Knock Knock - Twice :)))))))))))) )

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

- I’m a sucker for those nasty cambell’s soup tbh

118. Do you like Chinese food?

- Yeah I do. Love chow fun :)

119. Favourite book?

- Not a huge fan of reading :^)

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

- I used to be but now I’m not. I’m ready for whatever lurks in the dark to take me or sleep with me. Whatever they want.

121. Are you mean?

- I guess you could say I’m average :^) AYYY

122. Is cheating ever okay?

- HELL NO. On tests yes because help a mate out but in a relationship no because then they think about it all day and night, wondering why they weren’t enough and reasons why they were cheated on. so nope

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

- After this weekend, apparently not :\ but I cleaned the shit out of them and it’s better now.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

- I believe in infatuation at first sight but not love.

125. Do you believe in true love?

- I believe there’s someone out there that is meant to be with you, so yes?

126. Are you currently bored?

- With the lack of interests in these questions, yes.

127. What makes you happy?

- Food, Twice, my best friends, and dark sense of humour.

128. Would you change your name?

- Before I wanted to change my last name from Quach to Nguyen (my dad’s last name to my mom’s) but I’m contempt with it now but I do like Gwok…

129. What your zodiac sign?

- Taurus so let me ram you ;)

130. Do you like subway?

- Not as much as I used to but I do crave it from time to time. I like their chicken salad and raspberry cheesecake cookies :^)

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

- Yoikes…. let them down easy but I wouldn’t let things be awkward/stop being friends with her.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

- Question 10?????

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

- I’m like TT, just like TT :’)

134. Can you count to one million?

- Yeah.. when I’m going down on you and counting how many licks it takes to get to your center haha ;) (1 million licks probably suggests I suck tho)

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

- “Yeah, I’m fine”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

- Closed. I want to be intimate w myself as much as possible.

137. How tall are you?

- 5′6″ :B

138. Curly or Straight hair?

- I love both tbh

139. Brunette or Blonde?

- I think I look better blonde than brunette but both are nice colours.

140. Summer or Winter?

- I’m a winter kind of person because of how cold and lonely it is, but summer is lovely when you want to take walks at night.

141. Night or Day?

- I’m a night person because of how quiet it is and you appreciate the silence you have with yourself or the life you have. I find it euphoric being out at night and being accompanied by the silence.

142. Favourite month?

- November because Thanksgiving :’)

143. Are you a vegetarian?

- Sorry I love meat too much.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

- Milk chocolate~

145. Tea or Coffee?

- I’m a tea person :^)

146. Was today a good day?

- Today was a good day! My Aunt just moved into her new house so my cousins and I came over to congratulate her and just ate together and spent time before I came home to take my two hour depression nap and now here I am! :’) Thanks for asking!

147. Mars or Snickers?

- … Neither???

148. What’s your favourite quote?

- “I feel like I’m always searching for someone, or something.”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

- I do, but like why we do always portray them as evil? What if they’re nice like Casper and just want friends… But the supernatural is something I’m very interested in.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

- “.. with the consequence that some individuals will survive, but others will not.” That was from my psych book lmaoo

#facts

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megbox · 7 years

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What time do you wake up most mornings? Honestly, ever since I’ve been out of school I have been sleeping in until like 10:30am and it has been absolutely wonderful.

Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so? I absolutely love my job. It is by far my favourite job that I’ve ever had and sometimes it doesn’t even feel like work. It just feels like I get to hang out with my friends and get paid for it.

What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My applications.

Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any/more? I have my one little Death Cab tribute tattoo on my left inside wrist. I can think of some hypothetical tattoos that I like to daydream about but I don’t know if the motivation is strong enough to actually go back and get more. Plus I’m scared of the pain.

What is your favourite Christmas movie? Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation. Duh.

What do you get complimented on the most? My eye colour or oddly enough my butt.

If money was no object, where would you move to? Vancouver or Victoria.

Do you believe in soul mates? No. The idea is too limiting for me, and that makes it terrifying. What if you let your soul mate go? What if it doesn’t work out?

If you could wake up tomorrow and be fluent in 3 additional languages, which would you choose? French, Japanese, and OooOoohohoo I don’t even know. Maybe Arabic because I feel like that would allow me to understand a lot of the news better.

Would you rather go on a relaxing beach type holiday to the Caribbean, a cultural holiday to Japan or an adventure packed holiday to South Africa? Cultural holiday to Japan all. the. WAY.

Who are the three most important people in your life? Me, myself, and I. (LOOOOL)

Would you sacrifice everything for love? LOL no

Have you ever been in love? Yes yes. It was wonderful at the time!!! :)

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully not where I am now.

Are you scared of the future? A little bit right now because things are currently in limbo. But I’m also excited and energized by that fact.

What’s the last reason you held someone’s hand? I can’t really remember.

Are you lonely? Be honest. A little bit. I miss having sex lmao and having someone to spend the night always made me sleep better and feel better. But I have my friends :)

Listening to anything? Nooo. My roommates are sleeping and I don’t want to awaken my precious angel babes.

Last thing said out loud? "Bye!! I love you all!”

Last thing bought? My staff meal at work? And before that, a shirt and a sweater from American Eagle.

Last text received? “Much love to u always xoxoxoxoxoxoxo” from Sydney~

What has made you happy today? Ohmygod so much!!!! I got invited to brunch and got to have lols. I ran 5km on the treadmill and even though I HATE treadmills my time wasn’t all that bad, I got a nice new sweater in my favourite colour, I made some decent money at work, I got asked out on a date and a cute guy that I like is going to teach me how to make pasta, we made plans to go to Banff to party... LOTS OF GOOD THINGS.

What has made you sad today? I had a 1-on-1 session at my gym today that I got for free when I signed up and my form on a lot of exercises that I used to SLAY is sooo bad.

What room are you in? My room!

Last thing eaten? Cheetos~~~~*~~*~~ YES

Last thing you drank? Good old fashioned H20.

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10: Honestly like 8. It was a wonderful day.

What websites do you have bookmarked? Just a whole lot of recipes. Some interesting reddit threads that I’ve come across. Job postings. And rent postings from back in the summer.

Last reason you kissed someone? Because I wanted to! :)

Do you have an iPhone? Yeah.

Do you bite your nails? If so, do you wish you didn’t? Hahahahahahhah omg yes I do. So badly. I desperately wish I didn’t but I don’t even notice it when it’s happening anymore.

Last pair of shoes you wore? My salt-stained navy blue H&M booties. Love those things.

Last movie you watched? Perks of Being a Wallflower with Emma :)

Name something you’re grateful for. My job!

Are you wearing anything that’s not yours? Nooope.

Do you shop at Urban Outfitters? Sometimes if I’m feeling spend-y.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Nope nope.

Has anyone ever tried stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend away? I don’t really know how to answer this. There were definitely lots of girls that hit on my ex but in retrospect I don’t know if they knew he wasn’t single at the time so were they really trying to STEAL him or just GET him?

If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you? Maybe if I was like... on my death bed. For any other reason, probably not. Not really necessary.

Would you rather read an entire encyclopedia or an entire dictionary? Definitely an encyclopedia.

What do you have in common with the last person you kissed? Mmmm lots. We both like music festivals, we both were in the same program at school, we are the same age... idk. Lots.

Are you doing anything important tomorrow? Hell no. It’s going to be a lovely day of doing nothing.

Would you move out your house if you could right now? I don’t know how to answer this one. I LOVE WHERE I LIVE so so much and it’s perfect in every single way it’s just too BIG for our current needs and our utility bills are too high. But the hassle of moving for that reason makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Can you whistle? Oh yeah.

Do you like being called baby? By certain people.

Would you rather drink orange juice or milk? Orange juice all the WAY.

Do you wish you could kiss someone right now? VERY BADLY.

Do you hate when people interrupt your sleep? Honestly it happens so rarely I don’t even know.

Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Yessss.

What do you think of your best friend’s ex? Quite literally the most manipulative, selfish, idiotic piece of fucking SHIT that has ever walked this earth and he is EXTREMELY damaging to her life and self worth and mental health and if I could personally exterminate one person from this planet it would, no doubt, be him.

How long would you wait to say “I love you” in a relationship? A long time. I want to make sure it’s not superficial and I want to make sure it’s not going to scare him. I’d probably feel like I was in love a few months before I’d actually tell my partner. It took me about eight months in my last relationship.

If you had a child at the age you’re at now, do you think you’d be a good parent? I would be an absolutely terrible parent.

When was the last time you felt tempted to do something you shouldn’t? Did you do it? HAHA. The other night whilst at work. I almost went through with it but chickened out because I was like “Megan you are bein CRAZY girl”

What year was it five years before you were born? 1989!

What holiday is closest to your birthday? Easter.

What is your name if you spell it without the letters “e” “y” and “t”? Mgan Macka.

What year is the oldest car you or your family owns? Mine for sure. It’s a 2004.

Who is your 9th contact in your phone? Alina!

Have you had your birthday yet this year? No! It’s coming up!!! I am VERY excited.

Why did you go to the doctor the last time you went? I wanted to discuss getting some kind of prescription skincare routine going.

How old will you be in 5 years? 27.

Where was the last place you went? Sara and Alex’s.

Is there a mirror in your room? There are many.

Do you have a twin? No! I have a birthday twin but we’re two years apart.

Who was the last person that borrowed money from you? I don’t recall. I’m pretty fucking stingy about my money so I’m not usually the one people come to for a loan.

The last time you went out to eat, what did you order? This morning I went to brunch with my pals and I got an eggs benedict with kale, garlic, and mushrooms.

The last text message you sent to someone else - what did it say? I said, “Thanks buddy!!! Hope you get some sleep love you lots!”

Would you be prepared to do a job that you didn’t like, if it paid well? See: my internship this summer.

If you hair is straight, do you ever wish it was curly? If your hair is curly, do you ever wish it was straight? I wish every single day that my hair was curlier or wavier.

Is there someone that dislikes you for no reason? There are tons of people who dislike me with pretty good reasons.

When did you last see an attractive member of your preferred sex? Did you speak to them? Do you think you’ll see them again? A few hours ago. I definitely spoke to him and I will definitely see him again in the very near future.

Do you tend to have a lot of those moments where you forget something that you wanted to say? Sorta.

How long have you known the last person you text messaged? Over ten years now! WHAAAAT that’s wild.

What exactly did you eat for your last meal? Have you any idea what you’ll be eating your next meal? I had a sandwich at work. Next meal is breakfast and I’m kinda LOW in the food department so we’re gonna probably be dining on some OATMEAL tomorrow morning. WONDERFUL.

When will you next go for a night out? HmmMMm not too sure actually. This weekend and next weekend aren’t really going to be “night out” kind of things.

Are you still with the person you fell hardest for? If not, do you still care for each other? No, not with him. I care about him in the sense that I hope he is doing well but want absolutely nothing to do with him.

If you found out that your ex was having a child with someone else, how would you feel about that? It would honestly probably make me feel relieved because that is not something I’d want for myself at ALL so I’d feel more solidified in knowing we don’t belong together at all.

Is there someone from your past that you think about from time to time, and you wonder what might have happened to them? Why don’t you see/speak to that person anymore? HAHA YES ALL THE TIME. I don’t see or speak to this person because I broke it off with him to get back together with someone else like two years ago and it was super lame of me, and he is now very happy with a new partner and he deserves that happiness and she’s not my biggest fan so I just sort of try to fuck off and silently curse myself for making that mistake.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with your life? Why? 8. I’m just very grateful for what I have and what is coming up in my life.

What do you remember about your first kiss? I was on cloud NINE after it happened and I couldn’t stop smiling or thinking about him. It was at a skating rink. It was anticipated throughout the whole day and I couldn’t wait. The guy was a cutie pie.

Have you ever said that you’d never do something, and then done it? Lots. Drugs, get a tattoo, get a piercing. Never hold me to any “I’d never do x” promise.

Do you have romantic feelings for the last person you texted? I wish I had romantic feelings for Sydney but as she puts it we are tragically heterosexual.

Have you ever thought about what you might call your children? Or, if you already have children, what are their names? Sometimes, yes.

When did you last speak to one of your siblings? What did you talk about? I saw Scott last weekend for a bit. We had a drunken confessional conversation at like 3am in our kitchen until my Dad made us go to sleep. And then the next morning we just had lols until he and Rie went out for a hike.

How many times have you had your heart broken? Just one.

Where is the person you would most like to see, or most like to be with? At his house, probably sleeping.

Think of the person you fell hardest for. How many people has he/she been in love with, besides you? I don’t know. I’d like to say nobody else but I don’t know if that’s true.

Find 5 people on your Facebook friends list, whose name begins with K. Who are these people, and how did you meet them? Kerri M: I work with her at Famoso! Kelly G: She is a friend of Ali’s who Ali and Geoff met when traveling in Peru. She came to visit Ali this summer for a bit and Ali introduced us because we went to Stampede together to see July Talk. She’s wild. Khalid A: He is a friend of my ex’s. Kelsey R: She is a former track teammate of mine from back in the day and also works at the place I now volunteer. Kennedy R: She is my ex’s younger sister’s friend and used to a date a girl that I work with.

Who did you last say “I love you” to? Did that person say it back? LOL. Sydney. And yes. She did.

What do your last 5 Facebook messages say and who are they from? Oh god. My most recent is from Jess (my manager) because I forgot to put my tip outs in the appropriate bags tonight and was just fixing that up, and then it’s... Girl’s group chat planning our upcoming getaway to Banff. Work group chat switching shifts. The friend of the dude I creepily added on Facebook after meeting him on the train trying to get in there and failing. And Lauren sent me a lovely message on BellLetsTalk day!!!!! <3

#personal #surveys

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