Veering Off Course
(2,305 words)
Gregory and his family get a call that Vanessa, whos in a different state for college, has gotten hurt. Gregory calls Evan, and Evan is able to use the things he's learned about himself since meeting Gregory to help his friend with his emotions regarding the situation.
Its early in the morning on a Saturday when Evan gets the call. It woke him up, so all he does is blink groggily and swipe at the screen blindly while propped up on his elbow until his thumb hits 'answer' on his phone. "Hello?"
"Evan." It's Gregory, and the serious tone to just that single word clears up Evan's brain as fast as lightning. He scrambles to prop himself into sitting up and rubs at his eyes with one hand.
"Gregory?" Evan asks, looking at the little icon he set for Gregory's contact of a picture of Evan and him at an amusement park. "Is everything okay?"
It takes a second for Gregory to respond, and it causes the anxiety that had steadily began to bubble inside of him to surge. "Gregory?"
"Sorry." Gregory finally answers. "I-- Uh... can you..." His friend struggles for words, and Evan tries to be as patient as possible as it becomes clearer every second something is wrong. "Can you come over? Like right now?"
Evan flounders for words for a second, but manages to force his mouth to say, "Of course."
"Okay." Gregory replies, and a surge of worry shoots through his chest when Gregory sounds like he might cry. He takes a breath on the other end, then, "Please hurry."
After that, Evan only lingers enough to respond with a short confirmation and goodbye before hanging up the phone. It takes him record time to shoot out of bed, sling on some shoes, and get down the street a few houses to Gregory's own.
His mind had played multiple awful scenarios of what terrible thing could have happened the entire time, but his worry does not ebb when he makes it to the porch and knocks on the door to a teary eyed Gregory.
Evan's immediately herded inside. Freddy has his phone in his hand pressed up against his ear, and he's pacing around the room. Aunt Chica and Aunt Roxy sit in the living room. Bonnie is sat in a dragged-over dining chair by Freddy and frowning.
It's dead silent in the house; even the TV and seemingly endless energy flowing through and causing bustling noise is snuffed out to nothing. Evan watches as everyone sits completely seriously and quiet, hands held in their lap or thrumming against something.
Impatience, is what Evan first thinks of. They're waiting for something. News, maybe? Freddy is on the phone. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. Or somebody else's phone vibrate.
Evan's dread and anxiety only get worse when Gregory shuts the door behind him and tugs on him a bit. Evan follows without struggle, thousands of words and questions on his tongue when Gregory leads him to one of the unoccupied seats in the living room; a loveseat.
He sits down with him, and Gregory's face is scrunched up in barely restrained worry. Evan watches his friend, who's been an anchor for himself for so long, tremble and hunch in on himself. "Gregory?"
Gregory's eyes dart to him, and Evan leans down, hunching forward with his elbows rested on his thighs like theyre their own personal bubble. Evan's own brows furrow, and he feels the familiar thickness in his throat just at watching his friend be upset.
Evan grabs at his hand, squeezing it tight and lacing their fingers together. "I'm really worried, Gregory... please tell me whats wrong." Evan pleads. "Please?"
Gregory nods unsurely after a moment, and Evan watches him swallow thickly before turning to him fully. "Dad got a call from the University of Oregon today."
Evan's brows raise, but he nods to keep going. The University of Oregon is the college Gregory's sister, Vanessa, had left home to go attend. Evan hasnt gotten the chance to meet her, yet. She's already been gone two years strong, with a seemingly bright future. Evan's heard Gregory and his family talk about her enough to know her talents.
Gregory's breath hitches, and Evan wraps his other hand around Gregory's, the one he already has ahold of. He sandwiches it in-between his own and hopes it's enough comfort.
"Somebody called us and told us Vanessa got into a car crash today. On campus."
It's like a bucket of ice water is poured on Evan's head. His feet go cold, and his eyes widen to saucers. Fear shoots like an arrow through his stomach. When he stops reeling from the news, he watches Gregory begin to shake and lose the carefully gathered composure he'd put up since Evan arrived.
"They said..." Gregory's brows are furrowed so much it looks like it hurts. Theres a clench in his jaw and a wetness to his eyes Evan isnt used to. "They said she's already been taken to the hospital and is in surgery." He frowns, and theres a twist in his lip that Evan is so familiar with. "They... a-all we can do is wait. They told us they'd let us know any updates."
The house is thrown back into such jarring silence after Gregory stops talking that Evan's ears start ringing. Which makes it clear as day when Gregory's breath turns harsh beside him.
Evan tears his eyes away from the floor and ignores the twisting feeling in his chest to look at his friend. He has his face buried in the hand that isnt held by Evan and is shaking in a way where you can tell theyre trying so hard to keep it together. Gregory's angled away from him, but Evan can see the panic on his face even from where he can see.
Evan's breath hitches, and the thickness in his throat begins to turn into burning as he scootches closer to Gregory on the couch and sets a hand on his shoulder. He tugs a bit until Gregory gets the message and let's him wrap his arms around his middle and hold him close.
Gregory makes some sort of horrible, upsetting hitching noise that causes the dam to break for Evan, before he sort of flops against him and brings up his own arms to clutch at his T-Shirt. Gregory's head thumps against his shoulder, and it's one of the only times Evan really becomes aware of the height he has on his friend.
"Its okay..." Evan says into Gregory's shoulder, because it's all he knows to do in the moment. He glances around and sees that Gregory's family has shifted to the dining room, leaving them alone. Evan finally feels the tears slip from his eyes as he presses closer, hugging him like his life depends on it. "Its okay, Gregory. It'll be okay."
"It's--" Gregory says, and Evan can hear how much his voice shakes with barely contained tears. "Its not. I can't-- We can't even go see her. We can't go and wait for her to wake up, or anything... we just have to--" He cuts himself off, and Evan feels Gregory shake harshly against him.
"We just have to sit here." Gregory says, voice thick. "I dont know what to do, Evan. I don't know what to do."
And its only that sentence that causes Evan to grapple at what to do, if his friend can't. And all he can think about is how himself would react if it were Gregory getting hurt.
All he'd be able to do is cry, he realizes. He wouldnt be able to do anything. Just wait and be scared.
But that's what Gregory is getting at, isnt he? He can't do anything. That's the thing. Evan has known Gregory long enough to get him. To know, him. Evan knows that Gregory doesnt sit around and cry like Evan does. He prefers to get up and do something about whatevers wrong.
Hes a problem solver instead of waiting around. A fighter instead of a crier. No wonder hes so bent out of shape about this. To have a loved one in danger, and when you're so used to getting up and making a plan to fix a problem and are forced to sit in standby...
Evan eases them down against the cushion of the couch, not once untangling themselves from eachother. Gregory shakes, but he does not cry. "So what would you do if you could?"
The hair from Gregory's bangs brushes against Gregory's neck as he moves his head. "I'd... I don't know. I'd at least try to get to her." Gregory says, voice unbelievably quiet. "At least get to her. Then figure it out from there. Just so I'm not waiting on phone calls."
Evan nods against him, his chin scrunching up Gregory's hair. His tears have long since stopped falling, but he knows he has dry tracks on his cheeks. "You have a plan."
Gregory makes some sort of noise that would sound like a snort in any other circumstances. "I would if I could." Gregory replies, squeezing his arms a bit tighter. "But I cant" He sighs, shuddering and heavy. "I just have to wait."
Evan hums. "You're worried, and you're stressed." He makes the same noise Gregory just did. "I know how you feel... I really do. Maybe not your exact situation, but... I get what it's like to feel helpless." He says. "You know what I would do?"
Gregory hums this time, questionative. Evan rubs circles into his back. "I'd sit there and wait, and wish for it to different. And when it wouldnt be, I'd cry."
Gregorys head shifts against that crook between Evan's chin and chest, almost like hes trying to look him in the eye but the hug prevents him from being able.
"All I ever did was cry." Evan says when Gregory doesnt respond. "Its the only thing that I could do to cope."
"...So..." Gregory asks, and his voice is thick again. "You mean..."
"You're stressed." Evan answers. "You're stressed and you're worried. So... why dont you let it out?"
Evan, out of anyone, knows how valuable emotions can be. He didnt, once upon a time. When everyone would just tell him how annoying it is. How useless it is. How he's asking for it. How he should have toughened up by now. When instead of comfort, he'd receive ridicule and prodding.
That's changed. Ever since a certain someone entered his life. He doesn't think of his emotions, himself so little anymore. So worthless. So maybe that's why Gregory perks up ever so slightly in understanding.
And that's all it takes.
Gregory's trembling turns into shoulder shaking sobs like the snap of a finger. He cries, open and unadulterated, and Evan just hugs him close and rubs his back, offering reassurances like Gregory has done for him so many times.
His own eyes burn when his best friends sobs are heard so openly and he can feel every shudder of his body. Evan's chin scrunches, and the tears fall right along with Gregory as Evan hugs him close, tucking his face into his hair.
"Im--" Gregory cries. "I-Im just so worried about her."
"I know." Evan responds, his own voice breaking as he pets Gregory's hair. His shirt is damp with tears but he doesnt care. "Itll be okay. It'll all be okay."
They stay like that for a while, and Evan can tell Gregory needs it. He needs it. The worry he felt that morning doesnt ever really leave, and it stays ever-present as Evan watches his friend fall apart. They stay stuck together like magnets, eventually only shoulder to shoulder with linked hands on the loveseat, and none of Gregory's family try to peel them apart when they eventually wander back into the living room.
They stay in a state of constant agonizing limbo all day. At 8:00pm, Freddy calls it a night. Gregory protests immediately, but Aunt Roxy calms him down almost seamlessly and convinces him to go to bed.
Of course, Evan follows him. He cant imagine a world where he doesnt. The air mattress stays deflated in Gregory's closet as it has been most of the time nowadays. All Evan has to do is kick his shoes off since he left home in his pajamas anyway and they're wrapped around eachother, tucked in Gregory's bed under his comforter in the dark.
Gregory is silent all throughout the night, even though Evan knows he's awake. Evan just hopes that... he did the right thing. Something knows is that suppressing how you feel isnt good. It never works. No matter how much you want it to.
Gregory taught him that. He just wants to return the favor. Not because he owes Gregory, no. Gregory has long since hammered it into Evan's thick skull that he has nothing to pay him back for. That his kindness is not a deed to Evan, but rather that Evan himself deserves to be treated kindly.
Gregory does, too. Evan knows this with all his heart. Gregory is his best friend and has done more for him than anyone else ever has.
Evan... all Evan did was change. Change for the better. And hopefully he helped the most important person in his life with the things he learned. The things that person taught him.
He hugs Gregory's middle a little tighter, not daring to break the silence. Gregory needs time, but doesn't want to be alone. Evan understands. He does. He just hopes to convey what he truly feels through the one action.
Thank you. I'm here for you. I'll always be here. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you trust me. I trust you as well. So much.
Gregory himself wraps his arms tighter around Evan in turn, and Evan feels like the single movement lso has a deeper meaning he cant read.
They dont speak. They just lay in silence until eventually they fall asleep, stuck together like two puzzle pieces.
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And then his words sunk in, and he stiffened. “The Shepherds?” His words came out rushed, urgent. “You’re— you’re Shepherds?”
The dark-haired man blinked slowly, stoic and calm in the face of his teetering sanity. “Yes,” he said, straight to the point. “I am Blade Bronwyn, Commander of the Shepherds. This is my second-in-command, Trouble Alder, and my third, Tallys.”
Ah, Thorne thought numbly, nearly straddling the line of hysteria. He could practically see his carefully thought-out plans crumbling before his eyes. So this is Caine’s infamous assassin-commander. He certainly looks the part. Blade looked at him as if he knew exactly what he was thinking. Thorne closed his eyes, took a deep breath…
… Then flopped back onto the bed like a dead fish. A snort — a mix of what sounded like surprise and amusement — rang through the room, only to be quietly hushed by what sounded like the Norm woman. Thorne ignored the exchange, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Shepherds. He thought bleakly. Of course they would be Shepherds. Of all the godsdamned luck in the world.
Thorne had never planned on joining the Shepherds.
TW: Panic attacks, swearing, mildly off putting imagery (Thorne has strange thoughts sometimes).
1 ✦ “No offense, but you look like hael.”
“Do you believe in free will?”
Thorne tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, studying the man with an air of casual inquiry. The man’s apparel was all in black, a wide-brimmed hat — also pitch black — perched on his blood red hair and shadowing his eyes from view. A little smirk was sketched on his mouth. He would remind Thorne of a charlatan, if he didn’t exude such an air of… ominous knowing.
“Why wouldn’t I believe in free will?” Thorne asked, smoothly hopping onto the sudden train of conversation with nary a flinch and responding with a smile of his own, unfazed. He wanted to see where this was going.
The man waved a gloved hand, his slight smirk still fixed in place. “You know,” he said airily, “There’s the matter of the One-God — or gods, if you’re daring enough to admit it. Most believe that Xe has a plan for each of us. Some fate or destiny in mind when we’re created. If that’s the case, doesn’t that mean that every action we take is predetermined, absolute — out-of-our-control?”
Thorne lightly grasped his cup of water, keeping his face politely interested as he inclined his head at the other man in a gesture to continue. He suddenly felt all too aware of everything: the cool touch of the necklaces looped around his neck, the weight of the man’s intense stare.
Hael. Anything that had to do with that damned One-God made his spine itch. But it was too late to escape the conversation, not without exposing how much it had truly bothered him—
The man sat back and took a drink, hair gleaming like blood under the black of his hat. He gazed at him over the rim of his cup, his stare intense and unwavering. “Then there’s the matter of magic,” he said lightly, smacking his lips — Thorne’s gaze snapped coolly to his face, smile sharpening ever so slightly. He must have noticed his eyes. “In a world where anyone could secretly spellbind another — can we ever truly know if what we’re doing is of our own will or someone else’s?”
Lazily, deliberately, Thorne sat back in his seat; now carefully scrutinizing the man with a stare of his own. “Free will, you say?” The man inclined his head in affirmation. His light smile never wavered, but Thorne knew that he was studying his every move just as he was studying him.
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Hello! Thank you very much for opening my fic :D This won't be a chapter by chapter retelling of SHOH, but more of a fic about Thorne's own experiences in Blest as himself , not as an OC limited by the (very understandable!!) narrative constraints of the game. There will be scenes that weren't directly addressed in the game like Thorne's initiation to the Shepherds, so there will be quite a lot of headcanon-ing going on! This is very much a passion project and something I'm writing for fun — Thorne Briers and the world of SHOH are both very dear to me, and I couldn't resist the urge any longer. I hope you have as much fun following the story as I do writing it!
This is an unpolished work; I'm still very new to writing. Hopefully I'll be able to improve my craft while writing this fic, and have fun doing it!
DISCLAIMER: The world and characters of "Shepherds of Haven" do not belong to me, but to Lena Nguyen. You can find her on Tumblr under the @ shepherds-of-haven. Thorne Briers is a character of my own creation, and the MC of this fic. Due to narrative reasons, there will be several lines lifted directly from the game (ex. when a canon character speaks). Please let me know if this is a concern!
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