#first one is eyestrain second one is normal! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cat-vase · 5 months

Text

Hi. I've made a post about this before, but I have more information now (and hopefully I can organize it better).

Ghoul is a n//zi. Only censoring because I tried to make this post already and it didn't show up.

Here is a list of all the social media accounts I could find that he uses so you can block/avoid him.

There is a possible tumblr sideblog I might be unaware of (edit: this has been found!). Click the read more for more details/evidence.

Twitter: xGOREGHOULx

Tumblr: d34d-d06-404 (warning for bright/eyestrain theme on desktop)

Tumblr sideblog: fourexforevrrr

Discord server: OBJECTZSPACE

Discord username: gir4life

Pinterest: deranged_number4 + xX4_1STH3B35T1NT3G3RXx

Youtube: xGOREGUNK2009x + xGOREGHOULx

Soundcloud: xUR LOCAL GABBER KIDx + GORE GUNKZ

Pronouns.page: xGOREKIDx

Rentry: DERANGEDFOURNER (warning for bright/eyestrain/flashing gifs)

Carrd: goreghoulquest (warning for moving/spinning/rotating background image. i'm dizzy/have a headache from it. it's a first person video game perspective of somebody spinning in circles in a brick maze.)

On October 21 2023, Ghoul posted these to his pinterest. I looked at the website page data in order to get that date, because I don't think pinterest has a clear way of showing when things were posted (and if it does, I don't know about it).

That's the n//zi salute from Kratcy (CFMOT) and n//zi uniform from Yoshka (CFMOT), complete with a red n//zi armband.

In the last one of Kratcy, the caption is HEIL, MEIN FÜHRER!!! In English, this means HAIL, MY LEADER!!! Führer is the title Hitler gave to himself when he came into power.

On October 22 2023, Ghoul posted this to his twitter.

Three drawings of Four (BFDI/BFB) wearing a n//zi armband. It's censored out in two of them, but Ghoul forgot to censor out the first one. This is an indication that he knew it was bad to draw/post, but did so anyway.

Later that day, he posted this.

Another drawing of Four wearing a n//zi armband, with a caption to spell it out for you.

On October 23 2023, he posted to his twitter again.

Another one.

On December 20 2023 (two months after all those posts), somebody on twitter pointed out the armband in Ghoul's post. The callout post got a little traction, some of the other art was found, and Ghoul was asked why he drew n//zi art. This was his "apology." I included the second screenshot so you know I'm not intentionally cutting anything out with the first screenshot.

Mania does not suddenly make you antisemetic. Mania does not suddenly compel you to draw n//zi imagery. Ghoul tried censoring two out of the three images, trying to hide it. He clearly knew it was a bad thing to do. He is using mental health issues to excuse his actions.

On December 21 2023, he answered this ask on his tumblr.

And then left this in the replies of the ask post.

Again, using mental health issues as an excuse. If you felt bad for it, wouldn't you have deleted it as soon as you got into a clear headspace? Would you not have addressed it sooner instead of waiting for people to call you out on it first? If you were truly trying to ruin your reputation, why did you try to censor some of it? It isn't "old art", either. It's from three months ago.

I'm including this screenshot so people know what the discord server looks like. I am not in this server, I only clicked the link to get the screenshot. I do not know if anybody is co-running this server along with Ghoul, or if it is only Ghoul himself running it.

I'm including this poll because I don't know if he ever made that sideblog or not. If he did, I don't know the url. If anybody does know it, please tell me. I'll leave your name out of it. I just want people to be able to block it if it exists.

Edit: This sideblog has been found! It's @/fourexforevrrr

As of writing this post, it is January 7 2024. Ghoul has not said anything about this since and continues to post art like normal. I don't want this to be swept underneath the rug. I'm not allowing a n//zi to exist in the object show community. I don't care that he's a minor (16). This is vile.

#bfdi #bfb #bfb four #bfb x #tpot #bfb 4x #bfb 4 #cfmot #xfohv #hfjone #bfdia #ii #iii #inanimate insanity #osc #dni #beware #sorry for crosstagging i just know these r the tags he's most active in #i wrote this yesterday but it wouldn't post. i'm gonna keep trying until it does

65 notes · View notes

impunkster-syndrome · 4 months

Text

Things I like about the comic:

There is a saturation toggle, especially with the eyestrain in the art that can make it inaccessible. I noticed in the preboot that the media is perfectly aware of how overwhelming it can be on the eyes, so I do appreciate a toggler since I am photosensitive.

The transcripts.

There's some acknowledgement of how it can feel weird to have your possessions and clothes taken from you for hospitalization. Characters wear hospital gowns which adds to the alienation of being visibly ill or disabled in some way. Especially with how some psych ward clothes can feel violating to wear because of being stripped of something so personal to you.

Doom's ears becoming more triangular really helps him not be confused with Mood. It also stylistically sets him apart as being more jaded by using the sharp features as a shorthand.

The things I don't:

Lack of page numbers in a volume. It makes it harder to reference specific pages if this is not listed on the site. It's in the links to the page sure, but it would be great to be able to easily see what page you are on and to be able to skip to specific pages.

Important worldbuilding information is not directly found in the comic. The meanings of the color schemes, what the roles of doctors and nurses are, and more are not easily deciphered via the text and have to be found in supplemental media. I call this kind of problem "Author brainspace expectation" because the media is not made with absolute beginners in mind and the author expects people who have never heard of it before to have the same level of knowledge as them, thus raising the barrier to entry for being able to understand the media. Other pieces of media that suffer from this same problem are Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. Kingdom Hearts gets a pass because it became more like that as time went on but the first game is still understandable for people new to it.

The themes of the website changing for specific sections. This can add more contrast and keep things less accessible due to the contrast not allowing it to be easy to read.

The shaky text. Sorry but I don't like feeling sick as I try to read.

Nurses being completely good while doctors are completely evil. It's not a nuanced take and ignores systemic problems, plus how nurses can mistreat people. Things like Nurse Mood's refusal to write down medical history due to not caring to believe a patient is actually a form of normalized ableism that can really impact people. Happened to me and due to that I could barely eat any food brought to me while hospitalized due to my celiac and that not being on my chart despite me telling people over and over.

Jay's mobility aid is used as a plot device and then never seen again.

While every artist dreams of just being able to be paid for making art, that means that whatever you are releasing is open to criticism and that needs to be acknowledged. The patreon means this is making money and has to make a profit to sustain itself. It's not just a personal vent project anymore due to that and having staff. Kittycorn and staff need to accept that and not use the author (That they tend to tokenize, mind you) and kits trauma as a shield for any critique.

Cut down on the controlling rules for the media. You cannot control what someone does with your characters once you've made them more public. The rule that everyone must hate Cuddles and similar rules are overreaching and not a reasonable boundary to be enforced. Related to above, it's one thing to just talk about thoughts on media in a public space no matter how negative it is (acceptable), and something else entirely to send anon hate to staff and the author or to directly spam them with links to criticism directly unless they make it clear it is fine to do so (unacceptable). I see a lot more people complaining about the first when it is perfectly fine to have opinions about media and not the second. People having conflicted or not entirely positive thoughts on media is not a bad thing and actually fosters a deeper discussion of the media.

FAQs are for additional information and making things clear that are maybe unclear in the text, not for exposition and worldbuilding information.

The AUs of a paid project are forcing the comic to come to a halt. Breaks are fine, sure, but you need to be releasing things consistently for the project that people are paying you to make. A complete stop for months and no public progress makes this feel scam-adjacent.

The staff. If you find yourself attacking critics for existing while you yourself are on staff, you should not be on staff and should not be interacting with the fanbase at all. Both ZCP members I have spoken to initiated contact with me without ever reading any of my criticism and taking anything stated to them as bad faith when I would not allow them to be hostile with me. If you cannot have some level of separation between you and your fanbase, you need to create that so people do not see you/your staff as entitled assholes. Make internal rules to not publicly respond to criticism but still read it so you all can improve. I know this is the "piss on the poor" site but staff of a webcomic being so defensive to people who give valid critique are in the wrong and all it does is give everyone a poor view of the comic.

Tonal whiplash from dealing with ableism to ship content is jarring. You can't just flip between one or another constantly and expect either to mean anything to the reader.

Barruni needs to not be pushed as aggressively. It alienates anyone from the comic who wants to see anyone but them.

#long post #sparklecare critical #sparklecare #sparklecare hospital #blackbox thoughts

13 notes · View notes

blubushie · 2 months

Note

(this got long, sorry. I DID say you couldnt stop me, significantly less sorry about that.)

Okay first of all, the characters are stupid thin. Yeah, its a stylized artstyle, I can get behind that, cool, Vivzie’s gimmick is that her designs are fun and bouncy and remind you of DeviantArt, good for her. But a gimmick shouldnt get in the way of quality! Not every character has to be stick-straight thin! Beelzebub is a character from Hazbin Hotel’s spinoff, Helluva Boss. One aspect of her character is that she’s extremely skinny due to her stomach being a lava pit. Except.. She doesnt looks skinnier than the other characters! Because they all look like they can fit a grand total of half their nervous systems in those scrawny torsos! AND more on Beelzebub, she lives in a hive, she’s referred to as a ‘Queen Bee’, theres a lot of bee/insect/honey/motifs about her… and she’s a wolf. A bee-wolf hybrid, sure, but functionally a wolf. The thing is, insect anthros exists, and they look good, and if you had any sense while running a show, you’d either ditch the heavy insect motifs or learn how to draw a damn anthro bee. Angel Dusts body is as thing as his arms and the other characters don’t fare much better. The buff characters have a bad case of ‘skipping leg day’ just so Vivzie can give THEM toothpick waists too. Give me Asmodeus with stomach fat or give me death. Actually, give me 75% of the characters with more body fat or give me death. I say 75% because the skinniness isnt an inherently bad thing, the whole show is stylized so its pointless talking about fat ratios. The problem is that ALL THE FUCKING CHARACTERS ARE BUILT LIKE THIS. Second of all, theyre way too overbearing. Take Husker. Cool design. Nice and simple. Digging the overalls-- oh god why does he have wings. Why does his tail look like that. I guarantee you if you take away the wings and give him a normal cat tail, his design would be good. But for some reason they keep on adding more details, more giant huge additions, more weird accessories that SCREAM “emo preteen who pathologizes their kinda strict parents”. Sir Pentious, now! Like that he’s a snake and remains legless. LIke the pinstripes. Aaand his hat has its own face. Why? It detracts from the character’s facial expressions because now you’re looking at his damn hat for the facial expression changes. At least the eyes on his hood are just tiny pupils, but his hat has a fucking mouth too! But even so, the eyes on his hood are still distracting, especially since Sir Pentious’ head is so small in comparison. Thirdly, SO MUCH GODDAMN RED HOLY SHIT. Cool it with the fucking red. Please. We get that its hell. We can tell because a character swears every other words and pulls the ‘>:D’ face every damn second. You dont need to make everything red. Please just fucking stop it. Its nothing but eyestrain and takes away from good character designs when so much of their colours are just black and different shades of red. Characters like Vox, who is mostly blue, was genuinely such a relief even though he still had some red because FINALLY something wasnt red or a light hue of red. Heres the kicker, that 50k video of Verbalase being chased by Charlie had better colour schemes than THE SHOW ITSELF. It was OKAY TO LOOK AT. The colours didnt give me a headache for once. None of the main cast’s designs work together. Husker looks like a cartoon character. Charlie looks like a “Sans’ Girlfriend” persona. Vaggie looks like a fantasy rpg character. Alastor looks like someone’s 2 edgy 4 u serial killer oc. And none of them work together. DOUBLE kicker, one character has a nose that isnt a pointy, anime girl, miniscule thing, its a hooked nose. And she’s themed after the 1920s. And she’s fat. And she likes money-- its a fucking jewish stereotype.

You could make these designs so much better just by remedying ANY ONE of the points I made! Change the colours! Remove obstructive elements! Give them varied bodies! These designs only appeal to little kids cause theyre bright and move around a lot! But theyre functionally awful! There I said it. God.

Presented without comment (I have nothing to add cuz you said it all)

#blu whos #I'm not tagging the fandom purely for your sake

9 notes · View notes

mxfortunecookie · 11 months

Text

TW: Eyestrain & Blood imagery

For the first one I completely forgot that he bleeds purple, so yeah, remembered by the time I got to the second one tho 💀

So this comes off of a hc for nightmare that I have where the more pissed off he gets, the more nightmarish he begins to look. In the first image he’s more normal looking bc he’s focusing his attention on Cross and in the second he’s pissed, but still holding back cause he’s more worried, but they’ll probably regret doing that later.

I like how the colors turned out, but they’re a bit dark

This background choice was sorta random, bc I couldn’t think of one for a long time, but I think it turned out ok.

Credits-

Nightmare: Jokublog

Cross: Jakei95

#crossmare #cross sans #cross!sans #nightmare sans #nightmare!sans #undertale au #utau #utmv

37 notes · View notes

demonic-shadowlucifer · 1 year

Text

Exclusionist Symbols to Look out for: Part Two.

(Content Warning: Queermisia and Potential Eyestrain, as well as a brief mention of abuse and ableism). (Additional Disclaimer: Do not use this post to harass people. This is meant to be an awareness post). The second part to the Exclusionist Symbols post, and the third overall Anti-Exclusionist series post. Let's just get this overwith. 😅

Aspec Exclusionist Identifiers

So far I only found one Anti-Aspec flag, however I can't find much information on it. Still, best to keep an eye out for it.

(Image ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes. The first two and last two stripes are shades of green. The third and fifth stripes are blue, and the middle stripe is yellow. End ID). There are many common identifiers used by allosexual Aspec Exclusionists, including: "Aces/Aros aren't LGBT" - the most recognizable identifier. Any use of the word "Cishet" as an identifier for Ace/Aro. -Just for clarification, this refers to exclus who believe that Aspecs aren't LGBTQ+ because they're "Just cishets". However, keep in mind that there *are* Aspec folks who *do* also consider themselves cishet, and that they are still valid! Denial of Aces/Aros being oppressed. However, one thing I don't see many people talk about is the fact that there are also Exclusionary Aspec individuals, which is a surprise because those exclusionists are a *lot* more common than what you might think. Some identifiers of this specific group include. "Asexuality/Aromanticism isn't a Spectrum" - yes people genuinely believe this. Equating Asexuality with being Sex Repulsed, or that all Aromantics are also Romance Repulsed - Something that can easily be seen as misinformation, however some people *do* genuinely use this to exclude other Aspecs too sadly. "If you feel attraction, you're not Ace/Aro". Anvil Aro - A term sometimes used by Exclusionary Aros. Mspec Lesbian/Gay Exclusionist Identifiers Since Mspec Gay/Lesbian Exclusionism is almost entirely normalized, there isn't much warning signs. However here are some of the obvious ones I found. Anti-Mspec Lesbian and their varients. Anything that calls Mspec Lesbians or Lesboys predatory. Anything that says/implies that Mspec Lesbians "invite cis men to date/harass them" (This is *incredibly* victim blamey as well). Any variation of Lesbians "not being men" or "not liking men". (Outside of the blatant TERF rhetoric, it also ignores the idea of closeted lesbians dating men to hide their identity as well as ignoring queer history). And here's an Anti-Mspec Lesbian flag that I've seen mostly on Twitter.

(Image ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes. The flag has shades of teal on top and shades of purple on the bottom with a white stripe in the middle. End ID.). Additional Exclusionist Identifiers Safequeer - A relatively new term that excludes Mspec Monos *and* Endogenic Systems. Anti-SAM/Anti-Split Attraction Model - Commonly used by Aspec Exclusionists and Mspec Mono Exclusionists. Safequeer Flags:

(Image ID: Two flags with seven horizontal stripes. Both flags have two orange stripes, a blue stripe, a green stripe, a purple stripe and a red stripe. The first flag has a purple and white Lotus flower in the middle. End ID.)

(Image ID: Two flags with seven horizontal stripes. Both flags contain shades of blue on top as well as a green stripe, and shades of orange on the bottom with a thin yellow stripe in the middle. The first flag also contains a silhouette of a lotus flower outlined in yellow. End ID). Some Safequeers might also identify themselves using a Lotus flower, however the lotus can also mean multiple things. It's best to check. Not Queer Exclusionary, but still exclusionist nonetheless: Sysmed/Anti-Endos - Plural individuals that target Endogenic Systems and other Non-Traumagenic systems, believing that you need trauma or DID/OSDD to be a system. Some Sysmeds are queer, but others are not. Sysmeds are also referred to as Traumascum, however this term should not be used to address anti-endos due to it's ableist and victim-shaming connotations (There are, however, some anti-endos that also use the term, though it's not widely used by them likely for the reasons I just listed.) Anti Endo MOGAI or AEMOGAI- A MOGAI group that excludes Endogenic systems. An "Anti-Fake Systems" flag apparently made by an Anti-Endo, however I can't find much information on it. Still, best to keep an eye for it.

(Image ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes. The first flag contains shades of blue on top and shades of green on the bottom, with a white stripe in the middle. End ID). Again, you see *anyone* with these flags, with these keywords, or with any kind of rhetoric I explained here, block them *instantly*.

29 notes · View notes

artofloof · 6 months

Text

BYF/Intro post!!!!!!!!!!!!! (super long sorry)

☆

Hiiiiiiii!!!!! I'm Laura or Floof. I draw silly synth people and funny looking skeletons

"Can I use your art for (blank)?" Read this page first.

The button below is the gate to the legendary post. >Hey um Joku...

RECENT ART THAT I REALLY WANT YOU TO LOOK AT!!!! (experimental) >Teto :) <3

BLOG INFO

☆Reposts of my artwork are strictly forbidden.

☆My current fandoms are UTAU/vipperloids and UTMV (Sans AUs)

☆Recommended 15+ if you're gonna interact! Here's why: --->I swear. a LOT. --->I sometimes post art with suggestive themes or lots of skin showing. These are always tagged! I do not post NSFW. --->I don't censor anything Be responsible!

☆I'm ALWAYS open to asks!!! I have tons of AUs and character headcanons that I would love to talk about. No pressure, but... easy way to get me clipped in the floor like a broken NPC going "YIPPEE! YIPPEE!" /hj

☆NO posting schedule. And also I post whatever I want. It's the wild west out here 🦅

TAGGING SYSTEM

THIS IS GETTING LONG SORRY. SPEEDRUN:

>BLACKLIST TAGS: -I use #eyestrain, #flashing colors, and #flashing lights to tag seizure/headache-inducing content. If you find a post like this on my blog and it's not tagged, PLEASE TELL ME!!! Sometimes I don't know what is triggering and what isn't!!! -#suggestive for posts with sexual themes or lots of skin showing. There is no NSFW on my blog. May also use #nudity and/or #partial nudity in the future -#long post for posts that eat the space on your screen (like this one...)

>SORTING TAGS: -#Laurart is my art tag! -#Laurtalks for text posts -#Laurtunes music?!??! no way -#Laura's creations for my AUs and character designs -To group art by character, use #(their first name)! I don't always tag posts consistently, so this is an easy way to find art of them -#shitpost is a busy place -#not utmv exists because most people follow me for sans au content lmao (this tag is no longer in use) -#reblog is self explanatory and #other people's posts is anything that's not mine

Okay got that? Cool. Swag and poggers. More about me as a person below the cut

☆☆ MEEEE ☆☆

TIME FOR ME TO GO INSANE okay yippee

-My favorite aspect of art is COLOR THEORY - you might notice I'm crazy for complimentary color schemes, and they're something I purposefully shove into most of my artwork. I also love character design but it doesn't take a detective to see my painful lack of OCs

-I use FireAlpaca and some edited default brushes

-MY FAVORITE AU SANS IS DREAM and my favorite vocal synth is Ritsu Namine :)))) second favs are Killer and Ruko Yokune 💖

-very normal about Dreamtale. promise. I'm even MORE normal about the Shattered Dreams AU. PROMISE.

-I like to read "bad" fanfiction for shits and giggles. This eventually culminated into THE SECOND BIBLE, which I wrote with my friend @artobsessedloser: Bloody Love (you should read it)

-Biggest art weakness right now is my inability to draw characters consistently :( but we're getting there gamers!!! yeaaah!!!!

-Super picky about shipping. Currently I only have ships I like in the utmv fandom, here they are: Driller (Dream Sans + Killer Sans) Crossmare (Cross Sans + Nightmare Sans) Sheam (Dream Sans + Shattered Dream) Dreamberry (Dream Sans + Swap Sans)

-Labeling myself the founder of missile boob mondays before anyone else does 💥 /lh (we love Ritsu a lot on this blog)

-i like women

-more TBA because we all know this section is never truly finished

☆

#don't reblog #Laurtalks #pinned post #goodbye Nightmare's greasy ass ask... it was nice having you pinned while it lasted. I will always remember you

8 notes · View notes

flameofthescorpion · 9 months

Text

Ramblings of someone way to hyperfixiated on Nevadas "Nowhere" (Headcanons - Apparatus designs applied)

EYESTRAIN WARNING LATER DOWN IN THE POST!

Sooooooooo welcome to me rambling about outside of Nevada because god we dont talk about the Machine alot and it greatly upsets me so imma do it.

Do keep in mind this is all headcanon and applies to my appartus designs, so it may not apply as well to canon

Now the Nowhere, or also called the "Curtain Of Nevada", is what happens if you leave the borders of Nevada, also called the World Borders

The world border is the main thing keeping the area secluded and together in the world of Nevada, meaning nothing exists outside the borders, HOWEVER, due to this area being quiet big for the Machine to host on one single server, it cut up Nevada into different sections where loading is required, now loading for Nevadeans is simply spacing out for a second and then good is, for the Machine however it is necessary to manage everything on an organized level. The 4 zones would be Nexus City, Somewhere, Nevada Central and due to the Demoniac cult activities both Stygian and the Machine are in unison to have cut the Haunting House into its own seperate loading area to keep the improbability levels at least somewhat contained so it doesnt overflow with the drive active.

If you looked at the image closely you would have noticed some points on the world borders where it says "Enter Zone", Enter Zones are exactly what their name entails. While the world is indeed stable, theres some part of the border where its easier to cross behind "the curtain" than it is on others.

Now what i will have to elaborate on is exactly what i mean in the context of "curtain" Its quiet simple really Nevadeans and mortals in general do NOT see reality as it is, they see a simple illusionary curtain to keep their sanity stable. HOWEVER, the employers are complex enough to see the world for what it really is as they were built by the machine to keep order and to protect its very system which is everywhere and nowhere at the same time

Reality in actuality consists of corners, chains and platforms, or in the most simple definition i can give it The Machines Skeleton.

However only the employers can IN NORMAL SITUATIONS SEE THIS. Is it possible for Nevadeans to Noclip behind the curtain and see what reality really consists of? Yes but its not nearly as clear as the employers can

They can still see of course but massively impaired due to the fact they werent SUPPOSED to see this all. And their vision is not the only negative effects theyll take from going behind the curtain, because there is indeed 2 different scenarios:

Scenario 1: The Employers acting as the Machines security system would most likely notice this new arrival, and Auditor, being the first to usually take care of this issue, would rip them to utter shreds as now this Nevadean would pose a threat to the system due to having directly interacted with it.

Scenario 2: They are lucky enough to notice this isnt good and noclip back before any of the employers get alerted of their arrival. Even in this case they arent truely off the Hook as they either A. go insane from what their mind has just witnessed B. If enough mental collection is present, turn into a disquieted.

Some beings such as The S-3lf Eater however will not be affected by this as it was deliberatly built to suck energy off the Machine, due to this the Employers cant detect it as a threat either, essentially, its a parasite. (that was what the comic yesterday was about BTW)

Reality overall is a topic that not many talk about because only few know of the Machine as a concept, mostly only Dr Gonne, who abused this knowledge, 2BDamned who also abused said knowledge however in favour of the Maker and the Cyberbandits who have a way stronger connection to the Machine as it is "the serverhost".

Is a connection of the Machine, aka the server, ever SEVERED with a Nevadean it would have devestating effects on the Nevadean. The second the connection to "The Server" is gone, the Nevadean will IMMIDIANTLY loose most of their recollection and personality as the machine is the one storing the data of such. In most cases one of the younger employers, either Conductor or Auditor help to re-connect this individual with the Machine....or well if not i think we all know what they would do.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk im so sorry if none of this made sense im very passionate about my favourrite Higher Power, love the metal crab-

#madness combat #madcom #bro i could still ramble on forever #but i wanted this to make sense damnit!

10 notes · View notes

strange-creature-222 · 1 year

Text

HELLO, WELCOME, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT? RELAX, GET COMFORTABLE, TAKE A SECOND IF YOU NEED TO

THIS HERE IS MY TUMBLR BLOG AND I THINK I SHOULD WRITE SOME THINGS

Here's my little blog site thingy, I'd recommend using it while viewing my blog, so the posts aren't annoying white blocks

Y'all can call me Creature or Archivist (among other things, check pronouns page down below for info), I go by it/they pronouns, as well as any neopronouns

HERE'S A LIST OF DISCLAIMERS AND STUFF ABOUT MY BLOG

One: GENERAL WARNING FOR INSECTS, ARACHNIDS, AND OTHER BUGS IN THIS BLOG I like bugs, they're really cool! but if they aren't your jam should warn you that there's A few here

I SHOULD ALSO ADD THAT IM REALLY INTERESTED IN JUST ABOUT ANY OTHER ANIMAL THAT PEOPLE FIND SCARY

Two: this is my only account, I don't have a side blog or art blog right now, if you specifically want to see my art you can use my art tag (tags listed below)

Three: I block freely so I'm not writing a big dni, don't interact if you fall under basic dni criteria (racists, pedos, nazis, etc. You know who you are), terfs don't interact (although I don't see why you decided to come here in the first place)

Four: WARNING FOR EYESTRAIN!!!! I LIKE BRIGHT COLORS!!!! Oh and eyes, A lot of eyes

If I should start tagging stuff as warnings just ask <3 I might not be amazing at it but I'll tr

SOME STUFF IM INTERESTED IN

Wings of fire*

Will wood*

Warrior cats*

Wander over yonder

Lemon demon*

Animaniacs

Ride the cyclone

Hamilton

The beetlejuice musical

The Jekyll and Hyde musical*

Tally hall

Miracle musical

Jack stauber

Lackadaisy

Gravity falls

Across the spider-verse

Birds (mainly birds of prey)

Sea Creatures

Bugs

animals that people find scary in general

Fossils

history

Space

Rats

My chemical romance*

The owl house

The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde*

The glass scientists*

The Magnus Archives*

A bunch of other things

*starred interests are ones I mainly post about*

MY SUPER COOL TAGS

MY ART POSTS

#creature draws : this one has my art!

#creatures neon dragons : this one has some simple brightly colored sketches of dragons on a black background (im not sure I'm continuing this, all posts here are old)

#super cool art : other peoples art that I reblog

MY TEXT POSTS

#creatures ted-talks / #creatures ted talks : these have my text posts, stuff where I talk (I don't do so very often)

#creature answers : this one has my answers to asks and responses to tags

MY REBLOG STUFF

#creature rambles In someone else's post : self explanatory, I talk in someone else's post

#very important post (vip) : this one has posts I find important, nowadays I stick to things with helpful links

#creatures faves : posts I really like

#creatures faves² : posts I really really like

#creatures saved files : this one has things I want to save for later

#creatures saved files art edition : art tips and color palettes I wanna save

INTERESTS

#wee woo : will wood related stuff

#silly music people doing silly things : other musician related stuff (where you'll find lemon demon and mcr posts grouped together, yaaayy!!)

#casualdejekyll and formaldehyde : Jekyll and Hyde related stuff

#Normal British archives : The Magnus Archives related stuff

#wof of fire : wings of fire related stuff

#warrior kitty cats : warrior cats related stuff

(edit 2/20/24 THEY TOOK THE YELLOW TEXT AWAY WHAT THE FUCK)

(don't worry I'll figure out how to fill this empty space someday)

In The meantime here's a playlist of my favorite songs

HERE'S MY PRONOUNS PAGE, THIS HAS MY NAMES, PRONOUNS, WHAT WORDS YOU SHOULD CALL ME, AND OTHER GAY STUFF

Stay tuned, in the next update I might have My interests organized (I'm making a spacehey) ←ok this might not happen any time soon lolz

#I recommend checking in here every once in a while because I update this post every so often (just check to see the latest update ↓#Update 4/21/24 : added info to names| edited disclaimer three (its kind of a dni now) |edited some tag info|added Wof and warrior cats tag

7 notes · View notes

cescalr · 14 days

Text

please pretend i finished this yesterday <3 i was up until 4:30am.

to see what he looks like (whole point of this exercise), first etho from start of s9.

raise up that mask for his modesty <3 ooh mysterious wonder what's under there (normal guy)

gas mask. he does live in an alien landscape by this point. a post limited life etho. he stole those earrings (guess who) (easy answer) (why his hair is brownish now) (don't randomly soulbond to people fellas [gn]. leaves lasting impacts on your physiology.)

a post double life etho <3 he was freely given those earrings. Retroactively they will become stolen. Time is relative <3.

maskless post secret-life Etho. <3 <3 For your full understanding of his design. (The sims are basically how I would draw the characters, for the most part. Er. Jevin is... not simmable. Nor is muppet Joe... Im working on it!!! I'm working on it. Joe was meant to be made today but I really need to finish my dissertation. This was me procrastinating. Do not follow my example.)

Anyways! Hermitaday 17 - Ethoslab!! As i am currently unable to draw for a number of reasons, I thought showing my sims of the hermits would be a cool idea. (And since i haven't done any previous days because of my university degree dissertation, have a bunch of random hermits under the readmore; s9 editions)

in order;

general application bdubs <3

king cleo, human hair (wearing a sleevless dress. just. syk.)

king cleo, gorgon hair <3

elven warrior princess gem, outfit 1* <3

general application pearl <3

dwarven imp Impulse <3

elven warrior princess gem, outfit 2* [*I had full body pics of everyone, but I lost them >-< oh well. you get to see doc at least?] <3

general application grian [he's. a bit weird looking. sorry. i try really hard but i am blind. You... don't want to see my first etho attempt

general application false <3

SCARS SO MANY SCARS. first; buttercup <3

second; shirtless. he does that a lot.

cool shirt you can't see because i lost the picture :(

park architect scar <3

elf scar <3

hotguy!!!

doc! m! 77!!

full fit of doc! m! 77!!

mr Ren Dog <3 not finial version. might change the ears?

(The gradients were randomly chosen from my pre-existing gradient collection <3 do not read into them. Except the impulse one because. easy guy to make gradient for. easy. Also you do not see colour banding. it does not exist! sRGB sucks.)

Sm bonus pics (bc i found the fullbodies!!! they're just not edited. no fun gradients. pure blue chroma

(sorry. cw eyestrain:)

fun shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iconic

the guy in question. very tiny <3 because of how photosets work. clicketh the images for better visability.

gems!!!!!!!!!!!

and that's all tumblr will let me fit </3 have a good day everyone who clicked thru to this part!!! <3

#hermitaday #a day late *symbol smash*#<- /joke sorry. sorry it's late. i was up until 4:30am #simply had to crash </3 #anyway: etho!!! slab!!! etho's lab!!!#hc #hcfanart #???? i guess #hc etho #these are s9 ethos #just ftr #from start of season + end of season (post secret life)#he stole the earrings. he stole them. those are stolen earrings.#guess who from (easy) (reason his hair changes shades slightly)#(i love giving characters lasting consequences of their actions) (getting soulbound to each other)#HMMMM i wonder. lol. anyway #hope you like him!!!!!!! i spent a lot of time on him!!!!!!!!!!!#and hope you like the rest of them i also spent a lot of time on the rest of them. but this is etho's moment not theirs /sorry for not #having posted theirs on their days :( ive been a busy gal #ts4 #ts4edit #??? i guess #ts4 hermitcraft

1 note · View note

vvitchgender · 3 years

Note

michael shelley AND distortion michael

I can't fuckin' sleep so sure!

Michael Shelley:

How I feel about this character: Really wish we knew more about him but I understand why he didn't get much development. His laugh kills me in a gay way. Poor dude didn't deserve what happened to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gerry Keay mainly, but I could be persuaded to get into something weirder I'm sure. That one AU you and I have going convinced me he'd be good with Tim lol.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I don't really think I have one? But I feel like he and Martin would get along.

My unpopular opinion about this character: The timeline is fucked to hell and people need to stop fretting over exactly how old he was when X or Y happened. He's an adult in all his canon appearances, just make his age suit your fic and be done with it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I know this would've been practically impossible to squeeze in, but I wish there was a recording of the moment he first entered the Distortion. I want angsty audio comparisons of the birth and death of Michael Distortion.

Michael Distortion:

How I feel about this character: I hate it entirely because it proved to me that my monsterfucking tendencies apparently include SENTIENT HALLWAYS. Its laugh also makes me gay but like, tenfold. Being near it would absolutely trigger my migraines and I'd thank it for it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gerry Keay. The question isn't "how many people can I ship with Michael", but "how many ways can I ship the same two people".

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Helen Distortion! I'm a huge sucker for AUs where they exist simultaneously and fuck shit up together.

My unpopular opinion about this character: While I absolutely adore the eyestrain nightmare most people draw it as, I wish there was more content of its canon appearance, ie virtually normal-looking unless viewed indirectly. Eyestrain man is fun to draw and cosplay, but there is something so wonderfully sinister about a guy who looks normal and charming when you make eye contact with it, then goes all wobbly and nightmarish the second you catch a glimpse of its reflection.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish it had mentioned Gerry in passing. It outlived him, they could've crossed paths, even distantly! I'd even take a snarky comment about how Gertrude's really good at getting her assistants killed, or worse. Could've been a nice bit of buildup to the reveal of Gerry's fate.

#asks #friends #tobias #tma #*mumbles*

13 notes · View notes

itmighthavebeenintentional · 4 years

Text

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Summary: Sometimes when he sleeps, Dean sees flashes of other Dean Winchesters, in other universes. His dreams lately have been filled with himself in a thousand forms, a thousand different versions of what could have been. Dean likes to think that they’re made of the same star stuff, but whatever the cause, he feels the connection.

Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst.

Author’s Note: Inspired by Traffic’s “Dear Mr. Fantasy” and the header image; prompt given by @thoughtslikeaminefield. Love you. @cabin-fever-bang prompt fill. So many thanks to @cracksinthewalls and @there-must-be-a-lock for exceptional editing and motivation. Also love both of you.

Word Count: 2157

ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Sometimes when he sleeps, Dean sees flashes of other Dean Winchesters, in other universes. His dreams lately have been filled with himself in a thousand forms, a thousand different versions of what could have been. Dean likes to think that they’re made of the same star stuff, but whatever the cause, he feels the connection.

Some have been vastly different (he spent an entire day lost in thought about a female version of himself who was apparently a rodeo queen by day and monster hunter by night).

Some are so similar that the lines between his actual self and the other blur to the point of confusion; is he dreaming about himself or a different Dean who made one different choice twenty years ago?

He can always tell the difference, eventually. A scar in the wrong place, an absent friend or loved one still around or maybe someone gone who shouldn’t be. In one universe, someone neglected Baby (couldn’t have been Dean, had to’ve been Sam) to the point where she pulls slightly to the left.

Dean spends the morning after that dream with a muscle tick in his cheek and a suspicious, side-eyed glare for Sam that he never bothers to explain.

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams.

Unsurprisingly, his favorite alternate world has no monsters. It’s not that he isn’t aware of monsters in this dimension, that he doesn’t hunt them. No, in this other world, there’s no magic, no terrifying creatures of the night at all. He can feel the lightness of this world, steadiness that comes with not having to worry about whether a vampire is going to make this evening walk your last or a wendigo is going to join you on your camping trip.

Dean has a theory that this world was a test world, one where Chuck decided to just let things evolve as they would with very little interference. Humanity still has its issues: war, plague, famine, politics, streaming services that have lived long enough to become the villain.

But no monsters.

Chuck has left this world more or less alone, and Dean is pretty sure he knows why. In God’s eyes, a world without monsters is stale. This alternate world is a world without supernatural conflict, without apocalypse-level struggle, without life and death and good and evil and all that high-stakes, cursed-destiny crap Chuck literally eats for breakfast.

Boring. This world is a snoozefest for Chuck, and Dean’s okay with that.

In fact, he loves it.

He’s been rooting for this world for a while now. He still dreams of it sometimes, so he knows somewhere deep inside that it’s still around. He knows all the worlds will be destroyed eventually, wiped away by Chuck’s callous cruelty. But this one…

Dean’s not the sentimental type, not really, but if he could send it a greeting card, it’d be that cat from years ago on the motivational poster, clawing onto a tree branch.

Hang in there, baby.

He must have done something right for once, because he drifts off and finds himself back there again. He’s a little older in this universe, and he suspects his other self is in denial about beginning to need glasses. A shame, too. A mechanic’s gotta be able to see what he’s doing, and the eyestrain headaches his other self suffers every night would probably clear up completely if he’d just go get his eyes checked.

But they both know he won’t.

He sees better with his hands than his eyes these days. At forty-eight years old (none of that years young bullshit, either; he’s old, and he’s goddamn earned it), he’s spent his entire life in a garage working on one motor or another, same as his dad before him, and so on.

It’s honest work, clean despite the grease, and Dean himself has used his own money to help put at least a couple of generations of little Winchesters through college or wherever their hearts took them, starting back with his brother. Dean and his dad both feel pride over Dr. Winchester, the history professor. Might not make as much as a mechanic, but he’s happy and settled, and really, what man could ask for more?

The best part of this Dean’s day, the best part of his whole life, is her. He’s known her for nearly three decades and loved her just as long.

He was a twenty-year-old punk, learning his way through the art of motorcycles. He’d spent his life so far working on muscle cars, something he would never completely tire of, but now he was in absolute heaven. Dad’s buddy Danny Elkins had agreed to take Dean on, and Dean had taken to bikes like it was meant to be.

Four months into his new life, Danny’s daughter brought her dad lunch, and, for the first time in his life, Dean wondered whether there might actually be a woman who could pull his attention from an engine for longer than a night or two.

It was more or less instant attraction for the both of them, kinda like the movies that she loved to watch. Unlike those movies, however, there was no disapproving father to contend with or prove himself to.

“She’s a big girl and can crack your skull just as good as me,” he’d told Dean. “Pretty sure she’s settled on ya, so just make sure you’re worth it.”

So that’s what Dean did.

Tonight’s dream finds the older Dean alone in the garage, and the sun is at the tail end of setting. Splashes of indigo and orange paint the horizon, framing her approach in a wash of colors blending into shadows that hold no danger.

“Figured you’d forget dinner tonight, what with your new toy. Thought we could share, and you could show me what you’ve been up to.”

She doesn’t really care about the bikes, the cars, any of it. She only cares that it matters to him, and whatever keeps him running is something she wants to be a part of.

Surrounded by motorcycles in various states of repair and assembly, they speak quietly of their day, sharing the tiny details and separate moments that make up their simple life. She feeds him a bit of meatloaf with her fingers, and he eagerly returns the favor by sucking a smear of mashed potatoes from the corner of her mouth.

She sets the dinner containers aside, twisting to the side to reach for the apple cobbler she made yesterday, when he realizes he can’t stand even that bit of separation between. He’s been without her all day; that’s too much to ask of any man.

“C’mere,” he says.

Dessert forgotten, she settles astride his lap, arms linked around his neck, smiling that serene combination of lips and eyes and cheekbones that makes his heart twist and his groin swell same as the first time she turned them on him thirty-odd years ago.

They’ve sat like this a thousand times, and he prays silently he’ll get at least a thousand more. When they were kids, crazy and hungry for every experience, she’d come into the garage in her little tank top, her tiny shorts showing off her new ink, heels fit to kill someone (how she never broke an ankle has always been a mystery and a miracle, in both Deans’ opinions).

She scrubs a thumb over his bearded jawline, humming deep in her chest. She’s swapped the tiny skirts for jeans, although he thanks his lucky stars every day that fashions have moved from bootcut back to skinny. Harder to get off quick, but damn does he love the lines of her legs in ‘em.

They press foreheads together as an old Traffic song plays over the radio, swaying gently, always in sync.

“Dear Mr. Fantasy, play us a tune,” he half-whispers, half-sings, breath warm on her cool cheek.

“Something to make us all happy,” she answers in kind, eye closed. She slides her nose alongside his, runs her chin over his wiry beard, smiles into his kiss as it buffs her face red.

Perhaps in remembrance of their long-past youth, she’s chosen her smallest tank-top, one she’d normally never wear without at least a button-up over it, and he drops his head to rub his cheeks over the bare skin over her collarbone. Her legs link behind his back, anchoring her as she leans back to allow him more access.

God, what she can still do to him. The salt of her skin, the fragrance of her perfume that he picked out for her on their first anniversary that she’s worn religiously ever since, the silk of her hair that he tangles between fingers that still tremble with eager nerves.

Older Dean and worn-out, monster-plagued Dean sigh together, content down to their bones. This life is it for both of them. She is it. One Dean still can’t believe his amazing luck after all these years, and the other aches at the simple, total happiness he feels honored to witness.

“Dean.”

The older man runs a reverent hand down his wife’s arm, twining his fingers with hers. He kisses her knuckles, a few more crinkles lining his eyes as he smiles.

“Dean, wake up.”

The scene before him begins to fade as she takes his face between her hands, kisses his temples, the spot between his eyes, the corner of his mouth. For just a second, this Dean (the “real” Dean, as Chuck put it) feels those kisses, looks deep into her eyes and feels that warmth and light that she brings to the other man’s life.

I love you, she whispers, and he allows himself to believe for one moment that she’s talking directly to him.

“Dean, come on, Cas has a lead.” Sam’s voice finally breaks the dream wide open, and Dean reluctantly opens his eyes. “We gotta go check it out. Get dressed.”

“Yeah.”

He sits up slowly, feeling each of his forty-one years with an ache that no longer surprises him. He swings his legs over the side of his bed, rests his elbows on his knees, and drops his face in his hands. If he concentrates hard enough, he can still feel her phantom caress, her thumb against his cheekbone, her lips on the corner of his.

I love you.

Dean scrubs at his face with hands that get a little older and a little more scarred every day. Warrior’s hands, a testament to his hunts and battles. If he squints a little (maybe he needs an eye exam, too) he can imagine they’re different sorts of scars: burns from hot engines, cuts and scrapes from tools and every-day hard work rather than knives and punches.

He inhales, gathering strength, putting on his mental armor piece by piece. A knight, riding off to save the world from the devouring dragon. He reaches over and grabs his jeans, sliding them on and standing in a smooth motion that is accompanied by only one or two pops and cracks.

I love you.

Dean doesn’t know how this is all going to end. He knows how he won’t let it end: him against Sammy, to the death and all that biblical Cain and Abel crap. But beyond that, he’s going to fight to save his brother, all of his little patchwork family, because they’re all he has in this world.

He wonders briefly if his other self’s wife exists in this world, or if she’s just an anomaly, a one-time figment of Chuck’s imagination. He’s pretty sure it’s the latter; a man can only get that lucky once in a thousand lifetimes, and that other Dean is that one in a thousand.

This Dean could search a lifetime and never find her. She’s already been found, and maybe, just maybe if he and Sam can get their act together and bring the final beatdown on Chuck in enough time, he can save her. He can’t have her, but he could save her world, leave her safe and happy with his other self.

“Let it be enough,” he says aloud, not sure if he’s coaxing himself or the universe. He says it again, one more time for luck.

It has to be enough.

…

“Dear Mr. Fantasy” by Traffic

Dear Mister Fantasy, play us a tune, Something to make us all happy. Do anything, take us out of this gloom. Sing a song, play guitar, Make it snappy. You are the one who can make us all laugh, But doing that you break out in tears. Please don't be sad if it was a straight mind you had. We wouldn't have known you all these years.

#cabin fever bang prompt fill #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #supernatural #SPN #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #chuck #angst #what if #somewhere out there #the one #dear mr. fantasy #let it be enough #Sam Winchester

214 notes · View notes

synchronizedclocksystems · 3 years

Text

Gain Flexibility with Wi-Fi Clocks

Wi-Fi clocks are made to make life simpler by freeing one from needing to execute routine maintenance tasks. Furthermore, Wi-Fi clocks complete synchronization instantly, enhancing operations for business managers as well as confirming to be trustworthy sources. This post discovers the hows as well as whys of their advantages.

First off, Wi-Fi clocks are attached to a computer network, and also are intended to have no hard-wire connections. This means that all their interactions are achieved wirelessly (as one would expect), however it also suggests that a cord is not connected to the wall for electrical power. This of course is a terrific advantage if you do not have any electrical outlet within reach or they are already at ability.

However, unlike power over Ethernet, the local area network does not supply power to the clock. A self-contained battery, normally lasting numerous years, is utilized for this. This plan adheres to the convention nowadays that cordless devices run without a cable (though still interacting over the Internet), because its only function would be to provide electrical energy.

Second of all, a network keeps a lot more exact time than an electronic clock movement based on the vibrations produced by a quartz crystal. Real, electronic movements are a lot more accurate than the older, mechanical ones, but networks are much better still due to the fact that they constantly integrate with atomic clocks and also comparable sources. This advantage is therefore an additional type of liberty because it saves on upkeep.

Think about it as a fancy synchronized timekeeping system, a device reliably used by companies for years. A master clock integrates to a global time basic via satellite signals, or potentially to a neighborhood local area network. The master in turn keeps all the clocks within the organization in ideal sync.

Nevertheless, using Wi-Fi clocks, the master clock can be done away with entirely. The means it works is that configuration software program is set up somewhere on the network, and when the Wi-Fi clock initializes, it looks the network for this software application (which maintains its very own time basic) and runs it to set its time automatically. This has the fringe benefit of automatic updates for daylight savings, because the moment standard modifications an hour forward or a hr back at the best moment and all the clocks on the system adjust themselves appropriately.

Screens for these watches can be digital or analog, and also standard wall clock design or dual sided for setting up in lengthy corridors. The analog format is what most businesses choose, as the moment can be established quickly and also easily, also from some distance, provided there's a great contrast between the hands as well as dial history. Likewise, the double-sided attribute provides viewers traveling down the hall in either direction optimum ease and also minimum eyestrain.

Great Wi-Fi solution is now readily available virtually all over, and also people increasingly depend on it for their communication requires. They have learned that they can usually save on mobile fees by connecting wirelessly when possible. By doing this they can increase their performance by obtaining searched-for details at the click of a computer mouse.

Efficiency is additionally enhanced with time synchronization systems. Automated networks obviously maintain time far better than people do, and also permitting such systems to run our timetables appears only natural. Now that expert system technology is becoming much more conventional, we locate that the mix of AI, software program, as well as synchronization will certainly lead people to brand-new elevations.

Some might fear that all this automation might lead to a dystopian culture in which modern technology enslaves people. But everybody has the sovereignty of picking what to enable into consciousness, as well as we can constantly insist our proficiency over destiny. We can constantly declare and acquire our liberty with using Wi-Fi clocks.

synchronized clock systems

youtube

1 note · View note

red-sterling · 5 years

Text

(hey yall it’s hurt/comfort time based on one of those headcanons from last night bc i am in a hell of a way lately lol. tw for a mention of attempted suicide)

––––––––––––––––

When Red left, Green felt like his world had truly ended.

It was worse than when he lost the Indigo League, worse than when he got into his first big fight with Red, worse than when his Raticate died just a week after he found out how sick she was. It was worse than anything he had ever known.

He didn't know what to do. There was nothing to do.

Green wept when he got the call telling him the search was off, that his best friend was presumed dead, after four nonstop months of searching. He wept and he wept and he fell asleep in tangled in Red's old blankets in Red's old bed.

––––––––––––––––

"He's up here?"

"He is, yes. I don't know if he's awake yet."

He is awake, but he's empty.

The only way Green knows that it's raining is because he hears it outside; the windows are still completely blocked. Red covered them up with newspapers last year, just so he could feel safe in his own home, just so he could feel like there was at least the tiniest degree of separation between him and the eyes of the outside world. Green remembers understanding why Red did it, but not how he got to that point. He only remembers fully understanding just how strenuous the weight of fame was for him when he saw the newspapers; and oh, he knew, he knew Red hated being on camera, he knew Red hated the spotlight, but he didn't know just how bad it was until he saw his best friend's room blacked out with layers upon layers of paper, thin sheets stacked so thick that hardly any light could reach the inside.

Right now, the room is pitch black. It's raining outside - a thunderstorm - and the dim light can't penetrate Red's former room.

Right, former. Red isn't here anymore.

"Green?" Daisy calls softly and knocks on the door. "Can we come in? It's Daisy and Grandpa."

He doesn't answer. His throat hurts.

Green remembers mumbling a hoarse I'm sorry the night before, as if Red could hear him and come home, or as if whatever powers that be could hear him and bring Red home, or as if that could change anything. He remembers his voice almost sounding a bit like Red's, a bit rough and light, as if it wasn't his own voice, as if Red was the one apologizing through Green's lips, and honestly, Green would give anything to hear anything from Red ever again, but there's nothing he can say and nothing he can do to change the way things are now.

It's been four months since Red disappeared, and twelve hours since he was presumed dead.

Despite Green's not answering, Daisy opens the door a crack. The light from the hallway would be more blinding if he were facing the door, but no, he's facing the wall, the dresser, the lamp, the Game Boy and the cable that used to link to Green's own device, the loose seashells from Red's last beach visit and the most recent birthday card Green drew for him.

12, in a bold, bright font. Red was twelve when he was presumed dead.

"Hey, kiddo," Daisy hums softly, sitting on the edge of Red's bed. Green lays motionless under the blankets. "Are you awake?"

He doesn't answer. There was nothing he could say then. There was nothing he could say to stop Red. There's certainly nothing he can say now.

"Did he have anything to eat?" Daisy asks, presumably not to him, but to whoever else is in the room, a mom that he wishes were his own and a grandfather that he wishes was anyone else's but his.

"Not unless he ate while I was sleeping last night," Red's mom answers. He hears her take a few steps toward him, and he hears his grandfather's footsteps follow suit, but he just wants to be alone.

Well, not alone, no. He just wants to be with Red.

"Did you have a snack last night?" Daisy asks casually, almost trying to make the world seem normal, but the world isn't normal, it isn't right without Red, it isn't anything without Red, there is no world without Red.

"...no." Finally, he speaks, his voice muffled under a crackle of thunder. It feels so wrong. Everything feels wrong.

"You should have lunch, then," Daisy replies. "It's been awhile since you ate, right?"

"...I'm not hungry."

"Well, you can't starve yourself," Gramps finally speaks, and something in his voice sounds different. Something's a little softer, morose. It's probably because Red is gone.

Red is gone, and Green may as well be.

"Yes I can."

"Green," Daisy scolds - tries to scold, anyway, but her voice still comes out tender, quiet. "That's no way to act. You won't feel any better if you don't eat anything."

"'m not gonna feel better."

"You always get mopey when you don't - "

"My best friend is dead."

Silence.

Saying it out loud hits him like a pile of bricks, and he cries, but the tears come silently onto Red's sheets. He's careful to at least wipe his nose on his sleeve instead of the Pikachu plush that Red used to sleep with every night; he left it behind when he disappeared. Green wonders if Red still slept well those nights or not. He forgot to bring it to Green's house for a sleepover one time, and he didn't sleep until they called Red's mom to drop it off.

He wonders if Red still felt like a kid when he ran away, if he still feels like a kid if he's still alive, he wonders if Red is still alive, he wonders when Red - if Red - will come home, he wonders if Red still sees him - or still saw him - as a friend, he wonders how long the plush will still smell like Red, he wonders if anything is ever going to feel right again or if he's ever going to move on or if he'll ever see Red again or how long it'll take him to die before he can see him again if Red is dead or if it hurt when he died or if his Pokémon are lonely if he died or if it would hurt if Green died or - or -

He wonders if Red missed him, too.

He feels Daisy's hand rubbing circles over his back through the blankets, and he feels himself shaking, and he's sure he's audibly crying, he can feel it in his throat but his ears are full of cotton. The plush feels worn. The sheets feel damp. His eyes feel like they're on fire. Everything feels wrong.

He wonders if anything will ever feel right again.

"Did you drink any water today?" Daisy tries again to care for him, but he just wants to wither up and blow away. He nods, though, and it's a blatant lie. "That's good." He's bad. He's bad for lying and he's bad for losing Red.

He was your responsibility.

Green wants to sleep. He wants to sleep, and he never wants to wake up again.

––––––––––––––––

"You can't stay here forever."

The rain is still coming down, gentler now, though, he can hear crickets outside, but now the room is lit. The light from Red's bedside lamp and the hallway are a huge eyestrain. It's making his head hurt, too, his head is pounding. Every time he even tries to move, he feels a wave of pain and nausea wrapped up in one. He feels like he could throw up if he tries to move. He feels like he deserves it.

"Green."

"Mm."

"You need to come home."

Hell no.

Green has moved from Red's bed twice today; once to close the door after the adults gave up on making him eat lunch, and once to use the restroom. Other than that, Green has been wrapped up in the blankets. It's as close as he can get to Red. It's as close as he can get to someone who's just... gone. That's the worst part of it all, not all the what-if's, what if he hates me and what if he's alive and hurt somewhere, the worst part is that Red, quite simply, isn't here.

"Green, please," Gramps continues with this weird tenderness in his voice, something Green has never heard before, and something he refuses to accept now. "You can bring the blanket with you if you really want to, you know. You just can't stay here forever."

"Watch me."

"Green." There it is, there's the anger, quiet but clear.

"What?"

"You have three seconds to get out of that bed."

"Count 'em. I'm not moving." There's no bite to a voice with tears in it, he realizes.

"One..."

He hears Gramps come closer, and he just doesn't move.

"Two..."

Closer, still.

"Three."

Nothing happens yet. For a moment, there's just crickets and rain outside, but then Gramps grabs Green by the arm and pulls him out of the bed, and Green doesn't stand but he doesn't fight, he just lets himself get dragged up, and when he deadweights on the ground, he doesn't even mind how much it smarts.

"Green!" It's a tone between irritation and concern, the same voice Gramps used whenever Green would come home covered in scratches and bruises from exploring the woods on the edge of town with Red.

With Red. He'll never be able to say that again.

For a moment, Green looks up at his grandfather, the esteemed Professor Oak. He looks up, and he doesn't feel anything other than fatigue. The professor's face holds more sentiment, that irritation, that concern, maybe even confusion about why his idiot loudmouth grandson is a living corpse right now.

"...are you hurt?"

"Yeah."

Gramps leans down next to Green, and he reaches out, and only now does Green recoil, edging back toward the bed. "Where does it hurt? Did you hit your head?"

"That's not what I mean."

Nothing is said. Green grabs Red's Pikachu plush and rolls over, facing away from anything but the underside of Red's bed. Against the back wall, he sees a notepad, a trace of Red.

But he doesn't see Red.

"What do you mean, then?"

It's raining harder again.

"Green?"

Green just - he just shuffles under the bed, toward the center, completely out of reach.

"Get back here, Green." The concern is muffled below irritation - or maybe -

"Go away." - maybe -

"I'm not leaving you here. Your sister and I are worried about you, you know." - maybe -

"You're not." - maybe -

"Yes I - "

"I know you hate me."

- maybe there is no concern.

Nothing is said. A lamp clicks, footsteps lead away from the bed, the door shuts, the room goes dark and Green cries and - and -

Green jolts awake.

It's raining, kinda windy, too. His eyes hurt and his cheeks are damp.

Green sits up. He's not under a bed, that's the first thing he realizes, he's not under a bed and he's - he's at his apartment, in his room his bed, under his own blankets. He looks to his right. Red is asleep next to him. Red is here.

The pain is still fresh, though.

"Red?" His voice wavers, hitches, even when it's this soft and this weak. He's oversaturated with the dream, the memory of how fucking horrible that was. He's overwhelmed with what was the worst time of his life, memories of someone lost and an unintentional suicide attempt by starvation. "R-Red."

"Mm..." Red hums sleepily, coming out of his own dream. His eyes blearily open, then widen when he sees Green's expression. "Hm?"

Green has nothing to say, but his heart speaks anyway. "Are you here?"

Quietly, Red pulls him back onto the bed, pulls him in close. Red presses Green's head against his chest and runs his fingers through his hair.

"I'm right here, I promise." Thunder rolls outside. "You're not dreaming right now. I came home for you. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere without you."

Red tenderly kisses Green's forehead, and Green hugs Red with all his strength. Red hugs him back with a pressure that almost hurts but it's a pressure he needs right now.

"I love you, Green."

"I love you too, Red." His voice is shuddering, weak. He feels so weak. "Don't let go."

"I promise I won't let go." Red says more when Green is like this, he uses more words, he knows how to speak when Green needs to hear him more clearly. Red doesn't like using more words than he needs to but he'll go the extra mile for Green and that makes him feel so so loved -

"I'm always going to stay by your side, Green, I promise. Can you trust me?"

Green sniffles, buries his head closer to Red, and nods meekly. "I trust you."

"Thank you, Green." Red plants another kiss on the top of his head. "I'm so proud of you." Pause. Thunder. "I'll never leave you again."

Green nods, sobs, he sobs with relief now and Red knows it. Red cards his fingers through Green's hair and kisses him and rubs circles on his back until Green falls asleep to the sound of Red's heartbeat.

He falls asleep against Red, and he feels full again.

#namelessshipping #nameless #i. question if i wanna put big angst in the tag but i dont think my shit shows up in tags anymore for some reason so?? whatever lol

22 notes · View notes