#first year of grad school

[anna-scribbles]

thirteen update ☀️🥀🪰🏚️

chapter 6: march

summary:

(“Be here. For Adrien.”  “Emilie, I can’t…” “For me, then. Love him for my sake.”)  A sob cracked open Adrien’s chest. He ripped away from the wall, clapping a hand over his mouth to try and stifle himself. His lungs wheezed, a crumpled can, and the world slipped off its axis. She was dying. She was dying. She was dying, for real, and soon, and this was what they hadn’t wanted to tell him. 

excerpt:

Time barrelled on after that, like a ground speeding toward him in freefall. 

Lessons slipped through his head and smiles stretched over his mouth and Adrien’s life became, more than ever before, defined by the moment he would next see Maman. It was like his brain couldn’t catch hold of anything else, couldn’t grasp it. Even when he was out doing other things, in other places, he wasn’t really. He was always back with her.  

The shift happened sometime in the beginning of March.

A change in the air, the bones. The house held its breath. Walls stood cleaner and quieter and bigger than before. Or maybe Adrien just got smaller. Maybe it was like a vacuum, like he’d learned about in physics. All the air sucked out of his lungs, crumpled up like a can. 

The silence was the worst. When Adrien was gone, he could lose himself a little. Turn his brain off at photoshoots and fall into the monotony of fabric on his body, skin on his face, hands all over, fixing him and fixing him and fixing him. Dissolve into the rhythm of fencing, blocking and thrusting and parrying and sweating and not thinking not thinking not thinking. But being inside the house was different. He couldn’t do anything but think, couldn’t be anyone but himself. Even his shows started to fall flat; Adrien found himself restarting the same Ouran episode ten times because he hadn’t absorbed a thing. The house was so quiet, his brain so loud. The world was transparent and he wasn’t quite sure he was real. 

And then he would see Maman. 

read on ao3

#thirteen #my art #miraculous ladybug #ml #ml fic #adrien agreste #emilie agreste #IT'S DONE. I AM DONE WITH THIS ONE #HAPPY MARCH<3 IT IS VERY MUCH APRIL #this was such a choice to try and do such a time based project during my first year of grad school. who decided I was gonna do this. #special shout out to sunny for betaing and my professor for canceling class tomorrow. you guys rock. #anyway emilie agreste brainrotters come get your food

[mueritos]

quick lil post about coming back to art full-time while also being a full time MSW student….it can be possible 0.0

anyway ty to everyone who has supported me over the years i wouldnt be able to go back to art without you all

#muertodraws #also becoming a lil more comfy calling myself autistic even tho every autistic person i have ever me is like yea ur us lol #back in therapy and i finished my first sem of grad school off strong #next sem will be crazy but o well #hoping to volunteer at a cat shelter next yr too #i need a cat in my life or else i will explode #i would get one now as an esa but i just dont have the money #so heres to hoping #anyway i know my asks are off and thats cuz i just needed to focus on school #maybe theyll come back on next year but for now if u need to reach me feel free to pm or email me #dm me on instagram too if u gotta reach me #trying to balance being on here and also wanting to be invisible and blend in with the masses and work my 9-5 and act like i dont have like #intimate knowledge about online discourse lmfao #anyway #see u all soon

[sittinginsunflowers]

The absolutely real way my heart dropped when Brennan brought out those fucking scantron ass test questions and a timer is proof you never outrun high school and if one of them doesn’t curse him out for this truly cruel (and genius) premise next episode I will be shocked

#dimension 20 #d20 #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #I’m nearly 27 years old and I’m starting grad school in the fall #and yet the second he set the timer down and said “go” my mind went blank #my body already thinks it’s dying every time I do something even remotely close to stressful #being tested and knowing you’re about to die (when many of you have already died before) would push me over the fucking edge #anyway #my money is on Siobhan or Lou being the first to yell at him but it may be a group effort

[fairyroses]

— SMALLVILLE, "Lexmas" (5.09)

#IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAINNNN #god the way lex smiles in the first and last gifs makes me feel UNWELL #he's sooo precious and soft and happy 😭 #also this is the first time I've noticed that lex silently mouths 'thank you' and lana mouths back 'you're welcome' right before they hug #now I'm wondering if that exchange was actually spoken and maybe they just cut the sound in post for some reason? hmmm #either way it's cute ❤️ #smallville #smallvilleedit #svedit #lex luthor #lana lang #lexana #sv 5x09 #dcmultiverse #my gifs #so GUESS WHAT I've got a week and a half left of grad school then I'll be FREEEEEE and I'm gonna make SO MANY gifs #might just make this a whole month of posting lexmas gifsets tbh eheheheh

[gureishi]

Saeyoung and Eunji by @/tsang_fei

Light filters through the windows of her dance studio like springtime in her childhood home: warm, symmetrical squares of sunlight streaming through the curtains, singing her name, beckoning her outdoors. It's the tender scent of seasons changing, the whisper of warmer days to come.

This is a soft place. He made it that way for her.

"Still working, starshine?"

Saeyoung slips into place behind her, arms snaking around her waist, smiling lips brushing her shoulder. The flannel shirt she bought him signifies the months that have passed since he hid in his hoodie, headphones over his ears, eyes bathed in blue light, head in outer space, heart in her hands.

She is longer surprised by the silent way he sneaks up on her.

"I had no idea you were here."

He scans her screen, running one finger experimentally across her keyboard, never quite touching the keys.

"I don't know much about jobs other than the one I have," he says, pausing for a moment before correcting himself quietly: "had." Eunji smiles, leaning back against his chest, listening to his heart. "I did imagine dancers did a lot more dancing," he continues thoughtfully, "and a lot less typing."

She laughs, delighted whenever her brilliant boyfriend is stumped by the intricacies of her life.

"Everything's in English," she says, sighing. "My resume, my website, all of my information. It's useless if I want to work here."

Saeyoung stands taller behind her, peering over her shoulder more intently now.

"You want me to do it?" he asks. "I could translate it faster."

"I'm better at English than you are," she says. It's the only thing she has over him.

"And I'm better at Korean," he teases. "And probably translating too."

For some reason, this frustrates her.

"I'm working, baby. Just let me—okay?"

Saeyoung goes quiet and she forces herself to focus. She can't remember the Korean words for "immersive" or "improvisation."

She deletes the whole line. His arms tighten around her waist.

"Thank you," he whispers. His breath dusts her cheek and her fingers freeze over the keys. It's taken him ages to learn to say thank you instead of I'm sorry. "It's like you're starting all over for my sake."

He's right, and he isn't. He's smart, and he's got it all wrong.

"I wanted to," she tells him, giving up on the resume, twisting so she can stare straight into his sharp eyes. "You gave me a reason."

He slips his hands into the pockets of her overalls and kisses her once, swiftly, softly.

"Don't work so hard," he says. She laughs, loud and raucous like a child, because she's said those same words to him hundreds of times.

The past is a world away, text she wrote when she didn't know who she was becoming, sun on her skin, fragments of songs she barely remembers. Her future is fingers on keys and bright white windows, socks on the marley floor, sentences woven from words in two languages, the boy at her side.

"Just a little longer," she tells him.

She's almost there.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #cmc eunji #saeyoung x eunji #commission #i got myself this commission as a reward for finishing my first year of grad school #so ig for my second-year reward i am sharing it lol #who's thinking about the future not meeeee #jk it's me #tsang_fei is my hero my girl looks so good

[who-is-page]

I got an invite to an honor's society for my college and found out I have a 4.0 GPA for my 2nd Bachelor's degree so far and I am absolutely fucking preening. I've only been back in school for just a few months shy of a year so it's not the biggest achievement ever, but I'm really proud of myself for managing that on top of a full-time job and all my projects.

#personal #Yay! #I graduated with a 3.25 from my first college but I've been told that grad schools will usually focus mainly on the GPA of the major you're #applying to them for... and my Religious Studies classes GPA was 3.73 which is like maybe not perfect but it's DECENT. #Especially since I was homeless THE ENTIRE TIME. #So if I can polish this degree off in the next two years with a GPA higher than 3.25 I will consider myself good! #Because I can show them the high RS GPA and also the high new-degree GPA.

[cinematicnomad]

i officially, finally paid off my student loans tonight

#which means tomorrow on my bday i can start a new year without that debt hanging over my head for the first time in a decade #also this was only doable bc i was v lucky and my family was able to pay for some of college and i went to a state school #and most of my grad school was covered thanks to my job #i hope biden's plans work for everyone else but i won't lie i am v happy to be done with it myself #kat liveblogs her life

[starbuck]

literally got SO worked up about the idea of a wildlife biology internship IN my state that i fucking forgot i’m getting top surgery

#was literally over here trying to decide whether or not i could justify COMPLETELY screwing over my coworkers #literal heel turn of the century to go and band some turkeys #and then i remembered. #i am. having surgery. #i will not be able to move for like a week #this is NOT the summer for banding turkeys #but perhaps next summer! #because it pays better than my fuckin job lol #and it’s WAY more relevant to my desired career path #this was already my plan but it’s exciting to know i’ll likely have more options than i thought! #bc this is the first year they’re doing this so next year should be even more robust hopefully #and then i’ll have the experience i need to 1) apply for grad school and 2) get the Florida job i want in 2026 #long term plans babey! gotta love em!

[cherrycarat]

someone said every artist should draw miku at least once so i finally did

[inprnt]

#first post of the new year hi besties!! #i know i ghosted yall for two months but its bc im doing grown up nonsense now like dealing with grad school apps ok #anyway have a miku #hatsune miku #miku #vocaloid #fanart #digital art #digital illustration #illustration #artists on tumblr #lgbt artists #south asian artists

[coconut-cluster]

Heyy!!! Glad to see you pop in!!!

Loceit brainrot is so true and real. I should actually go through your uni au i never did 🤔

And also [shaking you] if you dont tell us abt crowns and cutlasses i will scream abt it forever.

Hows your life going lexi?

Erri hello!!!! I think about the uni au a lot so if you ever do go through it let me know lol, and I promise I will actually tell you all about CC asap </3

Life is going pretty well!! I’ve gotten into D&D in the last year-ish and it’s taken up most of my creative free time (playing and DMing, which is HARD by the way oh my god), but I’m graduating college this semester (also oh my god) and it’s actually not going as bad as I thought it would lmao! Still not writing as much as I’d like but that is life i suppose - how are you???

#i have a D&D character that i love and adore and have attempted art for the first time in years just to try and draw him #his name is peregrine he’s a tiefling artificer with a mechanical flying squirrel who cant fly named n.u.t.s. i love him #i just got an iPad (Chromebook died for good rip) so I’ve attempted digital art to color him in and I’m in awe of actual artists as usual #also irl. grad school is terrifying lmaooo #but also so are jobs #so that’s where I’m at <3 #lexi talks #ask #erri tag

[anna-scribbles]

h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work

unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion

#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad #because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid #i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back #i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades #i might be able to snag a short nap before work #but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen #WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE #well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway #OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal. #anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently #emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it #and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry #so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever? #and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this?? #also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m #so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point #anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari #after escaping her british nobility life #and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course. #and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known #and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates. #and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time #also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w #but at least he’s still obsessed with her #this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either. #ml #anna rambles #asks

[itspileofgoodthings]

Years ago, I asked you what the different alternate universe Maria’s were doing with their lives. Are the answers still the same?

OOOOOOF yes.

but now I’m in the period where I have to face that I do not, in fact, have multiple lives so I have to figure out what I’m doing with my one wild and precious life and the sort of (for me, at least) ease of following a particular school-related completion course that wasn’t too hard to commit to or finish has come to an end and I am at a crossroads where it’s just like—you could choose. And on some level, in the next few years, you need to. Low-key terrifying and I hate it.

#like. when I started college it was like. okay well now finish it and then I did. and then it was like well you need training for a job #so I did my two year master program in teaching and then I just did that. #and then it was like ‘get job’ and then increasingly ‘adjust to job’ and I did both of those things #but all of those were in the grand scheme of things easy choices #because they also came with clear opportunities that felt like signs #I got the job right after I finished the program! I got into college and was offered a (small) scholarship #even the transition from college to grad school felt easy. I didn’t even know for sure that I wanted to be a teacher #but it was a sensible gamble and it was the same college and I got offered a writing job at the same time that gave me work experience #and it all just fell into place #and even the first four years of teaching where I had to sort of actively battle to get better and adjust to it all #have just run out! The road of easy choices have run out. And I for one hate that so much #and on some level I am content to wait for whatever the next easy choice is. To wait until the signs align again #but tbh I don’t think I am being allowed to do that again #This is just. Different #anyway this is a lot thank you for asking Stacy aksksjjehe

[thresholdbb]

My P+ subscription just renewed, which means I have been on this Star Trek high for exactly a year now

#I really said 2023 is gonna be ALL ABOUT STAR TREK and it was!! #the Trek obsession went dormant then came back with a vengeance like November of last year #I went through an intense tng phase in grad school #looking back on the year I wouldn’t have it any other way #I got p+ and proceeded to speed run tng and ds9 #I savored voyager and when it was over we started our Sisyphean delta quadrant journey #somewhere in my mixed up brain I KNEW voyager would be a problem and I avoided it #I have been ruined for other media #LISTEN Picard isn’t the best show but it was precisely why I wanted to catch up #still have yet to finish tos tas ent and dis for shame #also it was half price last year I cry for my continually dwindling bank account #I am actually very grateful because I was lonelier and more miserable before I started engaging in fandom now I am slightly less so #plus going to stlv and making/doing cosplay for the first time a whole experience! #if we’ve interacted this year (and you read my tags) hi I love you #if we haven’t hi I am intense but love talking to equally obsessed mutuals #also lol at meeting the actors Garrett wang taking a picture of me and Picardo being like uhhh ok when I talked to him #jin maley and Michelle Hurd are absolutely lovely #terry ferrell was very very sweet and I shared an elevator (and hand injury story) with Casey Biggs #and I bumped into Rom his-real-last-name-is-hard-to-spell #and marina sirtis called me love I cry #hilarious but also so cringe what is my life #also thanks to Star Trek for the paradigm shifting very likely autism suspicion that I’m gonna seriously pursue in 2024 #ok I love you bye #melts into oblivion

[djarin]

the way i've just finally been able to tackle about 10 years worth of clutter in my room...

#elio talks #like with the adhd. guys. this is actually super impressive #plus the autism going 'noooo but we have emotional attachment to this One Specific Item That We Forget About When It's In The Drawer #i was RUTHLESS and it feels so good to just. declutter like this #i only did the first step of throwing stuff out/deciding what to donate #now i have to actually organize #and this is the part that confuses me bc like. what. how do you just. Do That. #how do i store things in my drawers when they're super deep like ofc they're gonna end up stacked??? #stacked + adhd = disaster #the object impermanence. sob. clutter doesn't look like clutter unless i consciously tell myself it is #anyway... just wanted to talk about this <3 #it should also be known that i only decluttered 10 years worth of shit bc i was procrastinating on grad school apps LMAOOO

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

im applying to grad school (again) for history and im wondering how I academically say I want to study arctic exploration in a way that shows humans have always been humans, and the way these people held each other in the cold, tried to keep their frozen eyelids open, brought food and cared for the dying even as their own heartbeats ebbed. In the rawest form of human suffering, where death holds out it's skeletal hands and they instead replied "Not yet, I'm only twenty-three and have a friend to keep warm."

#college #grad school #exploraiton #research #wait now im crying #arctic exploration #shackleton #uss Jeanette #HMS terror #Erebus #Arctic #Antarctic #Open polar theory #First Polar Year #GW De Long

[probayern]

.

#ok havent done this in a while but there are so many thoughts in my head i need to write them down #i feel like im on the precipice of like. things could actually go really well. ? #which feels bizarre. #the past year has been so very much everything going wrong at every turn #but suddenly i have hope that. like yeah maybe i could get this job and maybe i could get into the grad school i want to #and maybe this one other thing that shall not be spoken might finally happen #and like im trying not to have expectations about any of it but #idk. idk. it feels like things might finally go right #and maybe not ?!?!? it could also all not work out #but for the first time in a while i feel optimistic. not doomed to fail. #i dont know. maybe im just realizing how very much ive started expecting everything to not go my way #but eventually bad luck has to end right?? #and i'm just like... excited about the next few months #a lot of things about them are going to be hard! but... idk #maybe the tide is turning #bella things