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najia-cooks · 1 year

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[ID: Five large, enclosed bao piled on a plate. The topmost bao has been opened to show a bread-like dough texture and a vegetable filling. The bao are garnished with chopped chives. End ID]

Bánh bao chay (Vietnamese vegetable dumplings)

Bánh bao are an iteration on the Chinese da bao (大包) brought to Vietnam by Cantonese immigrants. Like da bao, bánh bao are commonly filled with some combination of minced meat, Chinese sausage, and hard-boiled eggs; however, some versions of bánh bao are also made with Vietnamese vegetables, herbs, and flavorings. Vegetarian bánh bao (bánh bao chay) may have no filling, a filling consisting of a variety of vegetables, or a filling of sweetened beans or sweet potato.

This recipe combines Vietnamese vegetables, herbs, spices, and sauces with Vietnamese meat substitutes to make a well-rounded filling that's equal parts umami and fresh. The yeasted, enriched dough is tasty, fluffy, and light, but still has enough structure to hold up against the filling.

Recipe under the cut!

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Makes 16-20; serves 6.

Ingredients:

For the dough:

4 cups + 2 Tbsp (500g) all-purpose flour

2 tsp (7g) active dry yeast

7 Tbsp (90g) granulated sugar

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp (10g) baking powder (optional)

2 Tbsp (16g) cornstarch (optional)

1 - 1 1/4 cup (135-295 mL) lukewarm soy or oat milk, or water

1 Tbsp cooking oil

The basic components of this dough are flour, yeast, sugar, salt, oil, and milk. The baking powder is added to help with leavening; the cornstarch works to create a light, fluffy dough that will not become soggy when filling is added.

For the filling:

1 large carrot (100g)

4-inch piece (120g) cassava root / yuca

1 cup (100g) shiitake or wood-ear mushrooms, diced

4 large pieces (50g) sườn non chay, or 1/2 cup diced or crumbled chả lụa chay

1/2 cup water + 1/2 tsp vegetarian 'chicken' broth concentrate (optional)

50g tofu skin (đậu hủ ky)

1 red onion, minced

5 cloves garlic, chopped

4-5 chives or scallions, finely chopped

1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1/2 tsp sugar, or to taste

1/2 tsp salt, or to taste

2 tsp bột nêm chay, ground to a powder (optional)

1 1/2 tsp fermented bean paste + 1/2 tsp light soy sauce (or 2 tsp vegetarian fish sauce)

2 tsp vegetarian oyster sauce

1/4 cup soybean oil, peanut oil, or other cooking oil, divided

Sườn non chay (roughly, “vegetarian ribs”) is a meat replacement made of textured soy protein. It may be found in bags online or in the pantry / dried goods section at your local Asian grocery store—the bags will be labelled “sườn non chay” as well as “vegan meat slice,” “textured soy bean protein,” “vegetarian food,” or “vegan food.” Most sườn non chay are large and pale in color, but they sometimes come in "beef" or "pork" styles—the difference is not the flavoring but rather the size, shape, and coloring of the pieces. In my experience, the "beef" ones are more darkly colored, and both "beef" and "pork" styles are smaller in size and thinner in shape than the non-specific ones, which I often use to replace chicken.

Chả lụa chay is a vegetarian version of a Vietnamese pork sausage. It can be found in the form of a large loaf in the refrigerator section of a Vietnamese or Asian grocery store. It will be labelled "chả lụa chay" or "gio lụa chay," as well as "vegetarian pork roll," "wheat meat," or "vegetarian food."

Đậu hủ ky, or tofu skin, is prepared by taking the film off of a batch of tofu as it sets. Tofu skin may be purchased fresh or dried, in sheets or in sticks: for the purposes of this recipe, any kind will work! Chinese tofu skin produced for sale abroad may be labelled "dried beancurd sticks."

Bột nêm is a Vietnamese seasoning sold in powder or granule form. Vegetarian ("chay") versions of the seasoning may contain shiitake mushroom, lotus seeds, carrots, tomatoes, and kohlrabi, as well as salt and MSG. It can be purchased in pouches or boxes from an Asian grocery store, or you can use any other vegetable stock powder.

Fish sauce and oyster sauce are common inclusions in pork fillings for bánh bao but are often simply omitted from vegetarian ones. I've used vegetarian substitutes for these ingredients—if you don't have vegetarian imitation fish or oyster sauce, just increase the amount of salt, sugar, and bột nêm to taste.

Instructions:

For the dough:

1. Heat 1 cup (135mL) non-dairy milk to lukewarm in a saucepan or in the microwave. Stir in the yeast to dissolve. if you’re not sure your yeast is alive, proof it by allowing to stand for 10 minutes—it should foam.

2. Add the baking powder, sugar, and salt and whisk to dissolve.

3. In a large bowl, whisk together flour and cornstarch. Pour in the milk mixture and mix well to combine. Add additional milk 1 tsp at a time if it remains too dry to combine. The dough should be slightly tacky but not sticky.

3. Add oil and knead by hand until dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Cover with plastic wrap and allow to rise in a warm place for about 3 hours until doubled in size. If you live in a cold climate and don't have a proofing drawer, heat your oven on the lowest setting for a few minutes, turn it off, and then proof the dough in the oven.

For the filling:

1. Prepare the proteins. Soak the tofu skin (if you're using dried) and sườn non chay in cool water for about half an hour until rehydrated (or simmer them for a shorter amount of time). They are fully hydrated once flexible and a couple shades lighter. Gently squeeze the water out. Dice tofu skin; rip sườn non chay into small pieces lengthwise and then dice widthwise.

2. Prepare the vegetables. Peel cassava root and carrot. Cut both into a fine julienne, or grate them. Dice the mushrooms; mince the red onion; chop the garlic.

3. Cook the filling. Heat oil in a large skillet on medium. Add the garlic and sauté until fragrant.

4. Add the red onion and continue to sauté until fragrant and slightly softened. Add black pepper, bột nêm, and salt and allow to cook another 30 seconds.

5. Add carrot, cassava, mushrooms, chả lụa chay (if using), and tofu skin and stir to combine. Reduce heat to low and cook, stirring often, until tender. Remove from pan.

6. If using sườn non chay: in the same pan, fry sườn non chay in 3 Tbsp of cooking oil on medium until they’ve absorbed the oil. Whisk 'chicken' stock concentrate into a small amount of hot water, then add the stock into the pan. Cook until mostly dry.

Soaking in water, deep frying in oil, then simmering in a flavored broth is the typical Vietnamese preparation of sườn non chay. The simmering in stock could potentially be skipped if you're including vegetarian oyster and/or fish sauce, but personally I find that dried soy products benefit from being soaked or simmered in something other than water.

7. Mix sườn non chay in with other filling ingredients, salt, sugar, sauces, and chives.

To assemble:

1. Turn dough out from its proofing bowl and gently divide into two even parts. Cover the half you're not using and gently roll the other out into a log of even width. Use a dough cutter or sharp knife to divide the log into 8 or 10 even pieces.

2. Place each disc of dough on its side and roll it out into a circle about 5" (13cm) in diameter. The edges of the circle should be much thinner than the center, since the edges will be bundled up and folded together.

3. The folding method is the same as for baozi and momos. Hold a wrapper in the palm of your non-dominant hand and add a couple tablespoons of filling (if you’re not experienced with making dumplings, it may be easier to add less). While pressing the filling down with your non-dominant thumb, use your other hand to pinch pleated folds in the dough all the way around the circle of the wrapper. Remove your thumb and make one last fold to close the bao. Pinch firmly at the place where all the pleats come together (where the drawstring would be if it were a drawstring pouch) and give a small twist to seal.

4. Set each finished bao on a small square of parchment paper on a baking sheet or in a steamer and lightly cover with plastic wrap or a light kitchen towel. Continue folding until you have formed all of the bao.

To steam:

1. Place a bamboo steamer in the bottom of a wok or large pot, and fill the wok with enough cool water to cover the bottom rim of the steamer by ½". If you've added baking powder to your dough, you may add a splash of vinegar to the water to help neutralise the dough's pH and combat yellowing of the dough.

If you’re using a metal steamer, tie a kitchen towel around its lid to prevent condensation from dipping back down onto the dumplings. Carefully place the bao, along with their parchment paper squares, into the steamer, leaving an inch or so between each one. They will expand as they steam!

If you don’t have a steamer, place a small bowl in the bottom of a wok or large, deep pan or pot. Place the dumplings, with their parchment paper squares, on a plate and place the plate on top of the bowl–the plate should fit inside your pot. Make sure that you can cover the plate and dumplings with a lid. If your lid is domed, there is no need for a kitchen towel, since the condensation will run down towards the outer rim. If your lid is flat, tie a tea towel around it just as you would with a metal steamer. Fill your cooking vessel with 2 or so centimeters of cool water.

2. Raise the heat to high and allow the water to come to a boil. Once boiling, lower the heat to medium-low and cover your steamer or pot. Steam the dumplings for about 8 minutes, until the dough is tender and cooked through. Keep finished bao warm in a covered casserole dish in an oven on low while you steam the others.

#vegetarian recipes #recipes #vegan recipes #Vietnamese #dumplings #carrots #cassava root #tofu skin #mushrooms #sườn non chay #chả lụa chay #fish sauce #chives

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tafeekafee · 2 months

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⏳🐿️ Drink up, one more, drink up

Notes: So ... I was just re-watching 'Fever Road' this afternoon. Now I have seventeen pages of this fic instead of other stuff I wanted to write. This is a 'what if' or 'what might have happened' of the time Hongjoong had to drink the fish sauce. Some of the things the members say are direct quotes from the subtitles of the episode.

Hope you enjoy!

Sickie: Hongjoong

Caretaker(s): San and Seonghwa

San was not a fan of the new ‘Fever Roads’ mission. It was bad enough that they left Wooyoung to be taken alone to a scary house – knowing fully well that Wooyoung did not like scary stuff at all – but now? Drinking fish sauce?

Well, Americano or fish sauce. Which was only slightly better.

He reached out first, despite loving his members, not willing to actually drink the sauce. The others quickly reached out to grab their own drinks. San watched as Jongho tried to smell if he could detect fish sauce and Seonghwa stared at his chosen cup without getting an answer.

San glanced over when he heard Yunho laugh, sniffing at Hongjoong’s drink. So their hyung had definitely made the wrong choice. San already pitied him, everybody knew that Hongjoong did not like any bitter drinks (Americano included but that was a different problem).

This could only end in disaster. San grabbed the kitchen roll behind him and handed out tissues to the members. They might be needed to hide their expressions if it was going to be as horrible as San feared it would.

The members kept teasing each other but San kept silent. He didn’t find the mission funny. At all. Yunho was gleeful in Hongjoong’s plight – San couldn’t fault him, objectively it was probably funny. He just didn’t feel it.

Though at first hesitant, Mingi was in luck. It was very clear that he had chosen Americano. With Yeosang, surprisingly, he wasn’t able to tell – though he suspected he had gotten Americano. The other man was definitely not as good an actor to hide if he had chosen fish sauce.

Then it was Hongjoong’s turn. San hadn’t been able to see his facial expression before, sitting next to him. Now that Hongjoong had turned to face the majority of the members there was regret all over his face, and maybe slight panic. Understandably. San really didn’t want to be in his position. He wasn’t sure if the captain was even aware of the grimace on his face.

Then Hongjoong opened the lid and immediately the room started smelling – badly. San felt so bad for his hyung. He couldn’t help but worry about the older man, he could tell that Hongjoong was really not happy under the fake “I’m not happy” demeanour.

Yunho held a tissue to Hongjoong’s mouth but was soon distracted with fake gagging as he breathed in. Jongho, always happy to tease his hyungs, kept telling them to not make it obvious. Like anybody would believe that Hongjoong actually had Americano.

As Hongjoong turned away, trying to get away from the smell, San added sarcastically: “I didn’t know you liked the smell of Americano that much!” San could at least make an effort to act like San though he really didn’t feel like it. Maybe ATINY would appreciate the teasing, then at least it was worth it.

“It’s okay if you don’t act out”, Seonghwa said, also not sounding convinced that this was a good idea. Fish sauce was a condiment, for God’s sake, not a drink.

Hongjoong was still stalling. “Remember we have to save Wooyoung”, San encouraged, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t as bad as it smelled. Maybe it would be best to just get it over with.

The captain was smiling through the pain, San could tell, as Hongjoong countered: “Who is that? Who is he?”. Keeping the “six makes one team” joke alive. Okay, Hongjoong could do this.

Their captain pinched his nose closed and drank the whole cup in one go. San was confident Hongjoong, or all of them, really, could keep the act up. Perhaps it was not as bad as he had thought. Maybe he really was just a tad to pessimistic.

The sentiment held as long as Seonghwa muttered an impressed “woah”. Watching the captain closely, San saw how he had trouble swallowing the last part, the taste probably hitting just then. Hongjoong placed the empty cup on the ground and doubled over, coughing.

Yeosang immediately moved his leg out of the way, muttering a concerned “oh, hyung”. For a moment San was frozen, watching their captain cough violently. The only sound other than Hongjoong’s coughing was the other members teasing him, saying the drink “had gone down the wrong pipe” – as if fish sauce needed to go down the wrong pipe to cause this. Again, nobody would ever believe that it was actually Americano.

Suddenly it all went wrong.

Hongjoong spat out some of the fish sauce he apparently still had in his mouth into his hand, the other grabbing the tissue lying in front of him. San reached over, his own tissue at the ready, and held it to Hongjoong’s mouth. He could at least try to cover the captain’s dignity.

The next moment that motive became moot. Hongjoong’s cough turned into a gag. Alarmed the other members looked over; Yunho’s, Jongho’s and Mingi’s laughter going quiet at once. Yeosang who had been rubbing Hongjoong’s back, looked worried, but didn’t stop.

“Shit, I think he is going to throw up”, Seonghwa called from the end where he was sitting, sounding extremely worried out of a sudden.

“Cut the cameras”, a manager yelled out in response..

Hongjoong leaned over even further, looking panicked. His cough was sounding wet, turning into – for now – dry retches every other second. The crew was whispering to each other but San paid them no mind.

“I don’t…”, Hongjoong gasped, his face red from the coughing, “please, go away.” They all knew that Hongjoong was conscious of those things, hating to inconvenience staff and also very easily embarrassed by his own sickness. While he did mostly tell them when he was feeling unwell, the only person he hesitantly allowed to with him when he threw up was Seonghwa. Now there were five additional members in the room and several camera crew, managers and make-up noonas and hyungs. No wonder Hongjoong was shaking so badly.

“What are you waiting for?”, Jongho called at the staff, who were still milling about. It was very rude of their maknae but San understood. This challenge had the potential to go very wrong and it had. The anger was justified and San knew that Jongho was terrified at the change of events though he knew better than to let it out on others, especially staff. They would have to address and rectify that later. Now he needed to get to their poor captain, who was gasping for breath.

“Move over”, San commanded, nudging Yunho, who was still frozen in shock – how had a fun game turned to their hyung struggling not to be sick while on camera? – back. He might have come across as rude, but if Yunho seriously was hurt by his tone of voice they could talk it over later.

“It’s okay, hyung”, San comforted, joining Yeosang in rubbing their captain’s back. Hongjoong gagged again, his whole back rippling from the motion. He was struggling to hold it back, needing his privacy, but he was losing the battle. “If you need to be sick, let it happen. You will feel better.”

San wasn’t sure if the reassurance had helped or if Hongjoong’s stomach was just done with the fish sauce – either way the next second Hongjoong gagged deeply and fish sauce spilled over his hand. The position looked painful, Hongjoong was nearly touching the ground while still trying to be as far away from his lap as possible. Mingi had scooted away, being in the line of fire, looking on wide-eyed.

Not sure what to do or how to help, San glanced at Seonghwa, who had knelt down by them, an unhappy frown on his face. The crew was finally moving out of the room, sadly too late.

Seonghwa grabbed Hongjoong’s dirtied hand, pulling it out of the line of fire. “Yunho, get the rest out”, he said, having found his composure. Seonghwa seemed really surprised by the turn of the events, but San recognized he had switched into oldest-hyung mode now. Hongjoong heaved again, vile liquid spewing from his mouth. It looked so painful and like Hongjoong was barely able to breath before the next mouthful came up. San couldn’t help but wince at the odour, it really reeked.

Yunho nodded and pulled Jongho to his feet, who was still watching in worry. Mingi was coaching Yeosang away so that Seonghwa could take his place. When Yunho tried to get San away, he shook his hand off his shoulder. “Go”, he hissed and, reluctantly, they left the room.

“San”, Seonghwa sighed, but didn’t try to make him leave.

Together they stayed with the captain, comforting him as he kept on coughing and spilling his stomach contents all over the floor. Wave after wave of clear brown liquid had come up but now it was turning into chunks of their dinner. The whole thing had apparently triggered a real vomit effect.

It took a few minutes until Hongjoong was able to calm down. He kept on gagging at the bitter taste that was probably left in his mouth, his back quivering with the force of it all. Tears were streaming down his face – San couldn’t tell if they were caused by the vomiting or if Hongjoong was crying of humiliation.

Finally it was over. Hongjoong took a deep breath and scooted back, away from the disgusting puddle on the floor. Seonghwa and San followed him, but still tried to give him some space. The captain pulled his knees to his chest and pressed his face into his upper arm, softly crying and hiccoughing. The soiled hand dangled at his side, as he tried to keep it away from himself.

San hadn’t ever seen his hyung like that, sad and defeated. It felt like a punch in the stomach, seeing the strong man brought down low. His heart yearned to help.

He grabbed the roll of kitchen towels that conveniently laid next to him and wet it with some water from one of the bottles. Then he gently took his hyung’s dirty hand, provisionally cleaning it off.

Hongjoong let out a deep sob at the touch.

“Hongjoong?”, Seonghwa asked, emboldened by San’s attempt to help. “Can I hug you?”

For a moment they didn’t think Hongjoong would answer but then Seonghwa had his lap full of crying human. Gently Seonghwa rocked them side to side, shushing Hongjoong’s cries and rubbing his back. Hongjoong had buried his face in the crook of Seonghwa’s neck and just kept trembling. Not knowing what else to do except offer comfort, San gently enfolded his hyung’s small hand in his own, bigger one. At first he wasn’t sure if it was welcome but then Hongjoong held on tightly.

Time passed and slowly Hongjoong’s cries quietened down until he was silent in Seonghwa’s arms. When Hongjoong made no move to get out of the safety of his hyung’s arms, Seonghwa, though with a look of regret, moved him so they could look at each other.

“Do you feel better, love?”, the oldest asked, gently as if speaking to a frightened child.

Hongjoong barely reacted, the shrug he gave hardly moving his shoulders. He looked down at his knees as if they were a very interesting, new sight. San followed his gaze to the small, wet spot on his calf where it seemed he had thrown up on himself a bit.

“Let’s get you clean up, okay?”, San suggested, keeping his voice steady despite the tears he felt bubbling up in him.

Together Seonghwa and San helped the captain to his feet, yet Hongjoong just sagging between them in defeat.

Loud voices from the other room had them looking up. “This is ridiculous!”, Jongho yelled, although his voice was muffled by the wall. Several exclamations followed, buzzing together so that they didn’t understand what was being said.

“I’ll go sort this out”, Seonghwa said with a sigh, “can you help Hongjoong-ah, San-ah?”

Without hesitation, San nodded. He wrapped his arm around his hyung’s waist and led the silent captain to the adjoining bathroom. While they hadn’t had time to unpack their stuff, at least their toiletry bags had been placed inside. San couldn’t deny how terribly Hongjoong’s breath stank from the combined forces of fish sauce and vomit, so he was glad for the option of brushing his teeth.

First he made Hongjoong wash his hands with soap, putting on some hand sanitizer for the extra safety. Then repeated the same thing for himself.

He had Hongjoong sit down on the closed toilet seat afterwards, as the older was still a bit unsteady. Next he grabbed Hongjoong’s bag and ruffled through it. Normally, Hongjoong would hate for somebody looking through his stuff. Now he just watched apathetically as San took out his toothbrush, then searched through Seonghwa’s back for toothpaste.

“Here you go, hyung”, San said and held it out to him after he had squeezed the toothpaste on the brush and had wet it slightly, “you’ll see, it’ll help.”

“Thanks”, Hongjoong muttered quietly and began brushing his teeth. At least he had spoken, if not much. It was clear he was still in the process of, well, of processing the events. His face was still flushed red from either shame or the coughs.

San quietly stayed with him, just keeping him some company. He knew that Hongjoong often tried to run away and hide from the younger members when he was embarrassed or sick or just not feeling good, however, for the moment he seemed content enough with San’s presence. If it only helped just a tiny bit it was enough for San. Clearly the captain didn’t felt like being alone at the moment.

Hongjoong finally stopped brushing his teeth just as San was about to suggest he stop before he ruined his gums. The foam he spat out still was tinged slightly brown, so he had been too late, but the motion had clearly brought Hongjoong a little comfort and gave him back control. His strength waned with the action of getting up, however, and he just slumped back down on the toilet once done rinsing his mouth.

Rifling through his bag again, San found a face cloth and ran it under warm water. Then he knelt down in front of Hongjoong and looked up at the elder’s red-tinged eyes and his tear stained cheeks.

“Can I?”, he asked, gesturing with the cloth. Hongjoong nodded, apparently too exhausted to do it himself, so San tenderly wiped his face clean. Hongjoong closed his eyes and sighed, relaxing under the motion and warmth (and presumably the feeling of at last being a bit cleaner). Once done, San wiped a bit at Hongjoong’s soiled jeans, not sure if it actually helped.

San bit his lip in hesitation, no sure if he should proceed. But worry for his hyung - and knowing Hongjoong would never fault him for trying to make sure anybody (him included) was feeling okay - made him continue. “Hyung, do you wanna talk about it?”, he questioned.

Hongjoong sighed, defeated. His voice nearly broke with his next words; he sounded so insecure and hurt. “I don’t know, San-ah. I … what is there even to say? Am I angry that this happened? Yes, of course. Do I feel humiliated and like I just want to hide under my blankets forever? Definitely yes. Will that change anything? No. So what can I even say?”

“Oh, hyung”, San said, feeling tears gather in his eyes. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Hongjoong, happy to feel him breathing against his neck. They stayed like this for a few moments until San’s knees started to protest his position. So instead, he gently took Hongjoong’s hand in his own. “Ready to get out?”

“Just give me one more minute, San-ah”, Hongjoong said. San just squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort, happy to wait with him. Hongjoong took a few deep breaths, obviously steeling himself. His face turned a bit harder, blocking out the vulnerability. The pain, however, stayed.

“Okay, let’s go”, Hongjoong said, removing his hand from San’s. “Don’t worry so much about your hyung, San-ah. I’m very happy I have such caring and sweet dongsaengs, but really I will be fine.” San nodded, touched by the captain’s words.

Together they stood up and stepped back into the main room. The members and the staff had also returned and seemed to have stopped arguing (if it even was an argument, San wasn’t so sure). They clearly were waiting for them. Seonghwa had an arm wrapped around Yeosang and Jongho each, the maknae staring down at his feet and Yeosang looking lost. In a reverse of their more natural roles, Mingi seemed to be comforting Yunho. Somebody had already cleaned up the vomit from the floor and the cups had been moved to the side.

As soon as they appeared in view, Yunho looked up and rushed forward, breaking Mingi’s gentle grip on his arm.

“Hyung, I’m so sorry for laughing! I never would have if I knew”, he apologized, looking truly like a kicked puppy. The other members also stepped forward, giving their own apologies. Hongjoong looked startled. “You don’t need to apologize, guys”, he said, “you didn’t know that … what would happen. It was an honest mistake and it probably was funny or will be in retrospect. Really, Yunho!” He emphasised the last part, seeing Yunho still pouting. “It’s okay.”

“Can I hug you, hyung?”, Yunho asked. Hongjoong nodded, stepping forward, and stood on his tiptoes to hug the taller one. San saw him whispering something in Yunho’s ear but didn’t hear and didn’t want to anyway.

“Hyung?”, Jongho said, freeing himself from Seonghwa’s arm and taking a tiny step towards Hongjoong. “I really want to apologize. I really was an asshole.”

“No, don’t say that about yourself, maknae-ah”, Hongjoong replied, walking over to him and gently touching his cheek. “I know you didn’t mean no harm. You were having fun teasing your captain, I can’t have you feel bad for that.”

“Hyung”, Jongho whined but the way his shoulders slumped down showed his relief.

“We are very sorry, too”, the director of the episode added, stepping forward and bowing. “We didn’t know that simple fish sauce could have such an effect on anybody.”

“I accept your apologies”, Hongjoong said formally, though his voice was scarily emotionless.

“However, we do need to keep filming the episode. We informed Wooyoung of … the incident but you still need to finish the mission. We will start where we left off”, the director added.

“Manager-hyung”, Seonghwa injected right away, “you … we can’t.”

“I’m sorry, Seonghwa-yah”, the main manager said, really looking the part, “but director-nim is right. We spend so much time, money and effort on this series, we need to continue. I wish it was different.”

“But surely we can continue filming tomorrow?”, Seonghwa suggested, sounding desperate, “surely one day can’t hurt that much? Or we can continue without Joong-ah?”

The manager shook his head. “Again, I’m truly sorry. We booked something for tomorrow, we can’t rent it out on a different day, so we can’t delay filming.”

The director added: “We need Hongjoong on film, we can cut some scenes or block them differently but we really need him. If he really can’t continue he doesn’t have to, but the … vomiting really was just from the fish sauce not illness, right?”

Hongjoong blushed deep red but nodded. “I’m really sorry about that, director-nim”, he said quietly.

“Ah, enough apologies”, the director said, waving Hongjoong off, “we’ll switch out all the cups so that they have Americano in them and then we can go on. We’ll start again with the others saying the drink went down the wrong pipe and then we’ll go on with Yunho. Look lively. Hwaiting!”

Small mercies but San couldn’t just keep quiet. He had seen first hand how affected Hongjoong had been, how exhausted he still was. “Can we at least take a short break before we start? Hyung should eat a bit before we start again and, I’m sorry to be so blunt, but he still has puke on his jeans.”

“San-ah”, Hongjoong groaned. All gazes were locked on Hongjoong’s jeans now. Oops?

“Well, it’ll look like water or fish sauce on camera, don’t worry”, one of the camerawomen said, a bit of disgust in her voice.

“See, don’t worry. We can’t change his outfit now, chances are people won’t even notice. A garderobe change would raise suspicion”, the director said. The manager did look a bit worried now that these things had been pointed out but he stayed silent. San knew he would step in if they needed him to should the occasion arise. He held on his plan to help the members learn to defend themselves and advocate for themselves on set.

To their collective surprise it was Yeosang who spoke up next. “But, hyung really should eat before we start filming again. Hongjoong-hyung is probably running on fumes.”

“I really don’t feel like eating right now, don’t worry. If I really need to I will eat later”, the captain said, coughing a bit. He looked a bit embarrassed again.

“Alright, alright, let’s start”, the director said, “the quicker we start, the quicker we finish.”

Not at all happy with what they were going to do, the members sat down like in their previous shot. It felt wrong to have Hongjoong continue when he had been sick just minutes earlier and with his clothes still stained. But there was nothing to be done once the cameras started rolling.

Fortunately, they all were good actors and managed to get over the re-filming of the scenes, over Hongjoong fake coughing in the background while the members told the cameras that he had just swallowed wrong in a repeat of earlier so it could be cut together more easily. They all went through drinking their own cups of Americano swiftly enough, since none of them were struggling to keep it down or had to fake their way through it for entertainment purposes. Hongjoong kept coughing a bit throughout and Yunho kept telling him to be quiet though - of course - Hongjoong’s breath smelled fine.

They called Wooyoung, telling him to sing to the elephant. All the while, San kept his eyes on Hongjoong who was suspiciously quiet, all his answer seeming forced. His cough had not gone away at all and his face was still a bit red. San couldn’t help but worry, fear that something was still going wrong gnawing at him.

But they passed the mission, were reunited with Wooyoung and they could laugh at his pictures and video. They got the second puzzle piece. Hongjoong tried to act engaged and looked the part mostly, acting as if he had a headache from the chaos. His hair was in disarray from how often he had run his hand through it, a nervous gesture for sure.

“Cut”, the director finally called, “we are done except for the going to bed scene. Get changed and we will be finished within the hour.”

The members cheered, hugging each other. Out of his corner of his eye San saw Hongjoong walk over to his manager, placing a hand on the older man’s arm and muttering something. San saw the alarm on the manager’s face before he exclaimed loudly: “Hongjoong-ah! You can’t keep something like this secret!”

“Hyung”, Hongjoong whined, though his voice sounded strained, “I was letting you know, that’s the definition of not keeping a secret.”

“What is going on?”, Seonghwa asked, rushing over to them.

“It’s nothing really. I’m just having a bit of trouble breathing”, Hongjoong said, causing a the group to collectively suck in a breath. Seonghwa lifted Hongjoong’s chin to look at him.

“That is not ‘nothing’, Hongjoong-ah!”, he insisted, saying what they all were thinking. “Besides, your face is looking a bit swollen or puffy and still quite red. I think you are having an allergic reaction.” From his position between Yeosang who was watching with wide-eyes and Wooyoung who was clutching San’s hand with a lot of force, San could see what had Seonghwa so worried. Hongjoong really didn’t look good and, now that he knew, San could tell that his breathing was indeed a bit uneven and shallow.

“Come on, Hongjoong-ah”, the manager said, “you earned yourself a trip to the emergency room.” Hongjoong nodded, seemingly defeated and relieved at the same time.

“I wanna go with hyung”, San said, stepping forward but not letting go of Wooyoung. He never would.

“I’m sorry, San-ah”, the manager said, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulder and leading him to the door. “I can excuse one member missing for a medical emergency but not a second one. I will keep Joong-ah company and you updated. Have a good night and sleep well!”

“I will be okay”, Hongjoong tried to reassure them, though it was kind of hard to believe. With every minute he looked worse. “I will be back before you know it.”

They stepped out of the door.

The rest of the evening passed in slow motion. The members got ready for bed and spread some cushions on the ground as a sleep arrangement. They were really getting too damn good at acting exited while feeling down and worried all the while.

“Cut”, the director called and the crew bid the members good-night. One of the managers walked up to them. “I just got the message, I’ll read it out: ‘Hongjoong-ah is doing fine. It was an allergic reaction from the fish sauce, as expected, but he got an IV with antihistamines, an anti-emetic and fluids as soon as we arrived. He’ll need to stay until it is done but unless anything else unexpectedly happens I can take him home once it is done. Sleep tight and don’t worry.”

“That’s good”, Wooyoung remarked, having crawled down from the lone sofa the moment the cameras had shut off and cuddling up to Seonghwa. San had laid down on top of Yunho just as quickly, happy to have his hyung hold him. Even Jongho had reluctantly reached out to hold hands with Mingi, while Yeosang had turned around on his sofa to stroke Wooyoung’s hair.

The others nodded at Wooyoung’s comment though their hearts felt heavy still.

“Try to get some sleep”, the manager said, “tomorrow morning is coming awfully soon.”

“Yunho?”, San whispered some minutes later.

“San-ah?”, Yunho slurred back, apparently already half-asleep from the stress of the day, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just really sorry that I was rude earlier.”

“I don’t even know what you mean. Go to sleep. Love you.”

“Good. Love you too.”

⏳

San had tried to stay awake until Hongjoong returned home, he really had. He must have fallen asleep though, because he was awoken the next day by the very captain he had been missing shaking his shoulder.

“Hyung!”, he exclaimed, reaching out to hug him. The rest of the members stirred at his call, waking up slowly. Then San noticed the medical tape over Hongjoong’s left eye. “What happened?”

That woke the others even quicker. Before Hongjoong even had a chance to answer, the rest stared at him, apprehension on their faces and talking all over themselves.

“Relax”, Seonghwa had to call out over them, but using the sudden stop by the others to sneak in between Yunho and Hongjoong to wrap an arm around the captain’s shoulder. “Let Joong-ah tell us what happened.”

“Nothing happened”, Hongjoong said, rolling his good eye, “I am just very unlucky and got a stye. At least I was already at the right place.” Very funny.

“Fair enough”, Mingi said, nodding, “when did you return then?”

“It was close to four in the morning, I think”, Hongjoong said, “I didn’t look at the clock, I was so tired. We entered through the backdoor and the managers let me sleep in their room so we didn’t disturb you.”

“It would have been a happy disturbance”, Yeosang said and pouted. “True, I wanted to sleep next to hyung”, Jongho added, smiling at Hongjoong cutely.

“Well, the good news is that we need to film ‘us waking up’, so I can at least lay down next to you for some time.”

“Wait, hyung”, San said, before Hongjoong could call out to the crew to start filming, “are you really okay?”

“Yes, I’m truly fine.” Hongjoong smiled.

#kpop #kpop sickfic #ateez sickfic #hongjoong sickfic #what if #sick ateez #ateez #hongjoong #ateez fever road #fish sauce #allergies #emeto #kpop emeto #🧚🏽‍♀️#⏳️#🐿️

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