#fuck abigail breslin

[passiveagreeable]

So Dirty Dancing is one of my favorite movies. (don’t tell me it’s a bad movie, I already know it’s a bad movie. what of it?)

I wanted to see if I could watch it for free on the television. I’ve actually torrented it, so that’s probably easier to watch it anyway… but I was just checking for some reason.

But! They remade it in 2017?!?! which obviously I have to watch now, but I find it wildly hysterical that I can only watch that one for free in Spanish. The world works in mysterious way.

#also don’t tell me it’s a bad movie. all remakes are bad of course it’s bad #it’s low budget clearly. or a made for tv movie #I have thus far watched the first seven minutes in Spanish obviously and it is hilarious watered down from the original. #the kellerman’s nephew has made a comment on Betty Friedan and said ‘I think women can be anything they want in life!!’ #like bruh did you even watch the original film #Johnny’s bouffant is fucking sending me #what I’m getting is that. I’m perfectly aware the og is very much a product of its time. but personally I think that makes it charming #this one is also very much a product of its time (our time) and that’s making it Much Worse #all the singing is original and then the talking starts again in Spanish and I’m like oh yeah lol #if someone were to ask me why I think Puritanism and the Hays code are making a comeback in the modern day I’d show them this movie #on god #halfway through the film and baby has improved like 0% at dancing ngl Abigail Breslin was not the choice

[funkyness]

why do police shows like law and order always have such a goated cast. four episodes in i've already seen Amanda Seyfried, Bridgit Mendler, Abigail Breslin and fucking Viola Davis

[americangirlstar]

IS THAT A FUCKING ABIGAIL BRESLIN IN-JOKE

#american girl #abigail breslin #kit kittredge #american girl dolls #american girls #beforever #1934 #kit kittredge: an american girl #mine

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Spencer Breslin starred in the movie that prohibited anymore live action Seuss movies from being made. His sister Abigail starred in Zombieland and was nominated for an Oscar two years later. Just a fun fact.

That is not only fun, it’s fucking hilarious

[erasawordsmithofsorts]

listening to you suck by abigail breslin after finding out ur ex still has ur playlists saved and shit is so therapeutic..

like yes, i am throwing a fucking temper tantrum but its because im victorious. like yes, i stalked ur socials for a bit. but. babe u look like a fucking FAN.

#-era #era posting #era's blog

[oddygaul]

Little Miss Sunshine

What a pleasant, wholesome experience. This was a household standard when I was growing up, but I hadn’t seen it in ages - was glad to come back to it and still enjoy it with fresh eyes.

I really love the bespoke score composed for the film. I think typically, there’s something about road trip movies that inspires an even more heavy-handed use of licensed music than usual. Even for a more dramatic movie like this, which doesn’t shy away from heavier topics and treats its characters with a lot more nuance than the usual pastiche, I could easily see another timeline where this is filled with your highway classics, or classic country / Americana vibes, to guarantee certain emotional beats land as intended with as little risk as possible. Instead, the score adds a very unique and consistent character to the proceedings. It goes between a few genres, but I’d almost call it… a sort of acoustic folk post-rock? There’s lots of accordion interludes and spaghetti western motifs, but at the core of all the tracks are these layered, building, interlocking melodies that call post-rock to mind. It’s great, anyway.

Olive and her grandpa completely steal the show, obviously. The film absolutely hinges on the character of Olive, and Abigail Breslin’s work in the role is one of those performances that’s so perfect and unlikely that it feels like they placed a bet on her and won. The character of the grandfather, likewise, is compelling and filled with heart. Every time you think he’s just falling into the irascible, out of touch old man who doesn’t care about anyone around him trope, he’ll show such gentle, sincere empathy in a situation that you can almost imagine the character’s whole life leading up to the movie.

Man the dad fucking sucks though. That’s kind of the point, I know, but I feel like the movie really tries to set him up for this third act redemption arc, and I absolutely do not fucking buy it. Look, he spends the whole movie fat shaming his seven year old daughter and giving her complexes she’s gonna spend decades unraveling - am I really supposed to think he’s turned over a new leaf just because he’s suddenly willing to commit crimes for her at the end? Like, shit, dawg, when you get pulled over and arrested for smashing through the fourth pay gate in a row it’s not gonna be so cute anymore. Puttin’ the whole family in danger to try and show character growth and shit..

Who’s the loser, now, Richard??

#will's media thoughts / virtual brain repository #movies #little miss sunshine

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

after grand Budapest tony revolori should’ve been in the fucking running for actor of our generation a la Abigail Breslin

#no justice NO JUSTICE IN THIS HELL WORLD

[overbearingstruggles]

Have you heard the song Spell by Abigail Breslin (under the name Sophomore)? I thought she had said Jack and her didn’t date but I think the song says otherwise…

Ugh

Idk man. She gets to write about her experiences however she wants and good for her. I’m sure she’s dealt with similar shitty experiences with more people than Jack using her for her prominence which is fucked and gross, especially when it’s someone you are actually a fan of. Sis, go off. But the disengenuous way she’s reinforcing the narrative that Jack is an abuser, despite speaking out that she didn’t experience that behavior is a motherfucking choice. As much as I don’t think how he treated her was acceptable I also don’t think it’s okay to be cheeky about what it actually was and if she has something to throw him under the bus for I’d love a straightforward call out because toeing the line on something this serious sucks.

#the sister line is a riot aye 🥴 #dying on my narrative that he used her for attention and her name but not physically until proven otherwise #and maybe that’s not a great line to have either! but if you aren’t nuanced with shit where does the conversation go #The tit for tat on attention here ain’t exactly equal #jb #answered ask

[jackinalex]

I’m so annoyed by how many group rps jack’s face claim is banned from lmfao

#WHAT DID HE DO #I stg if it’s about Abigail Breslin I’m gonna unalive #HE DID NOT FUCKING DATE HER #I am sick to fucking death of that discourse #rp discourse #Kalina talks

[thatweirdaustralian]

Tell me why I’m reading about the Pyramid Texts and the design features of Egyptian old kingdom mortuary complexes and the only thing I can think of is the fucked up morals of Cameron Diaz in my sisters keeper????

#I just want to write my essay #it’s already 3 hours overdue #my sisters keeper was so fucked up tho #Abigail Breslin didn’t deserve it #I just want to get an Archaeology major 😭 #actually adhd

[legalizesupercorp]

Abigail Breslin jokingly made a bet on twitter and...

#this is fucking hilarious #abigail breslin

[betelgeusessonajblog]

ZOMBIELAND 2 BABY!!!!

#zombieland #zombieland double tap #trailer #zombie movie #fucking excited!!! #tallahassee #witchita #little rock #columbus #rosario dawson #woody harrelson #emma stone #abigail breslin #jesse eisenberg

[babybluelukes]

I pissed off my sister and she won’t stop playing you suck by you know who in my room at full volume send help

#im fucking dying #you suck abigail breslin #5 seconds of summer #abigail breslin #5sos #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #luke 5sos #luke hemmings #calum 5sos #calum hood #michael 5sos #michael clifford

[chiromantka]

tw // sexual assault, predatory behavior

so not sure how many people are aware of All Time Low’s (Jack’s specifically) allegations but throughout the past few weeks different people have come out and accused Jack of sexual assault. now, i have grown out of my pop-punk phase around mid-2010s but until then ATL were one of my favorite bands and i’ve kept up with them for years and have seen them live as well. the reason why i say this is because throughout the years that i’ve followed them i’ve witnessed behavior that now, as an adult, i recognize as creepy and disgusting and the disbelief in victims’ statements is angering me.

the first thing i saw about these allegations was a TikTok where a person said that the band let them into their tour bus when they were 13. although it wasn’t stated which band, there were clues in the comments that did point to ATL. it’s pretty common knowledge that a lot of the bands do take girls into their tour bus without checking their age. back when i was still a fan of them, there were a bunch of videos of them hanging out with girls in the tour bus, drinking and singing. there were also a lot of teenage girls on tumblrs and fan forums confirming that they were let in.

ATL have always had this thing at their concerts where they’ve encouraged girls to throw bras on stage. from what i know, at some point they donated the bras to shelters or have donated money to raise awareness for breast cancer depending on how much bras were thrown at them. as an idea, it does seem nice but it did gave them an opportunity to be disgusting on stage.

(also there’s this one picture of their bus from the inside where there’s tons of bras hanging around inside. that’s just to show that it wasn’t like 1-3 people throwing them but it was a thing to bring your bra to the show and throw it to the stage)

Jack was always the loudest on stage, always talking about sex and boobs. there were instances of Jack commenting on girl’s breasts from the stage or encouraging the audience to chant “show your boobs” at another fan or making other inappropriate comments, targeting random people in the audience (or like him talking about having a boner right now, wanting to get laid etc). some of the shows did not have age restriction or it had but the age wasn’t checked by the security, making it possible to have underage fans attend shows (me included).

one of the things that weren’t really talked about within the fandom was how Jack dated an underage girl for some period of time. Abigail Breslin started dating him when she was just 17 and he was 25, and they did want to keep the relationship private until Abigail turned 18, which confirms that Jack knew that an eight year gap between them was fucked up. he knew and still stayed in a relationship. 

what i also find upsetting about this whole situation is how normalized it was, how grown men in their 20s were sexualizing their often underage audience and no one said a thing. how Jack’s actions and words were branded as “immature 14 year-old boy humor” even though he was a fucking grown man, very much aware of what he is doing and saying. the allegations against Jack and the band were always there, it was a known fact that there was something going on behind the scenes. it was a known fact that Jack’s behavior often could be classified as ‘predatory’. it was just never taken seriously because all was considered to be a ‘joke’. 

since then the band has released a half-assed statement that basically can be reduced to “we believe the victims unless they accuse one of our bandmates cause in that case it’s all a lie”. Jack has also come out on twitter and claimed that this is all fake.

[unidentifiedflyingfks]

Movie: FINAL GIRL (2015)

Cast: ABIGAIL BRESLIN of Little Miss Sunshine and Zombieland

WES BENTLEY of and The Hunger Games, Yellowstone, and my personal favorite P2

ALEXANDER LUDWIG also of The Hunger Games and Vikings

This movie has literally kept me up all night with questions. Mainly how did they get Abigail Breslin, Wes Bentley, and Ragnar Jr. all to agree to be in this awful movie? Then, answering my own question, can literally anyone with $$ make a movie and pay reasonably well known actors to play in it? Then, is everybody fucking with me?

***Side note: the term ‘final girl’ is a common trope in horror referring to the last girl left alive, or the survivor. (Ex. Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween)

The director, Tyler Shields, is better known for his photography career and before that professional inline skating, funnily enough, where he worked alongside the likes of Tony Hawk and other pro skaters. His photography seems to be centered around shock value with works including items like black guys lynching a KKK member, Lindsay Lohan as a vampire, a crocodile biting a crocodile skin purse, and more recently a photo of Kathy Griffin holding what looks like Donald Trump’s severed head. (Spoiler alert: Donald didn’t take it well) Basically all playing off of easy to reach social issues that will exploit controversy without offering anything other than surface level discomfort IMO. Final Girl was his debut film and while I will credit its high production value and actors I soo wanted to like, that’s where it ends.

(Tyler shields and his infamous photo)

The movie begins with Wes Bentley’s character interviewing a child (young Breslin) who just lost her parents under seemingly violent circumstances. She demonstrates puzzle solving skills and seemingly photographic memory as well as a apathetic view of death—as when she says “death happens” right after the death of her parents. So Bentley recruits her for **something** hard that most people can’t do. He also reveals his wife and child were killed by **someone** (not the villains the whole plot centers around because if they’re seniors in high school at the time they would have been about 6 when his wife was killed assuming it was recent to the death of Breslin’s parents since we’re…. ah doesn’t even matter. Too stupid.)

First of all, I love Abigail Breslin. She’s beautiful, funny, and I especially like her as #5 on Scream Queens. Buttttt, let’s keep it real she was horrible for this role. It was never believable that she was an elite agent trained since childhood to mirk people with her bare hands. That being said, her training basically consisted of talking yourself up, choking Bentley, and taking DMT (Also, what?) so it’s not all on her. I would have even been with it if she used her aforementioned puzzle solving skills and smarts to beat the boys, but instead were treated to unrealistic fights scenes with Breslin’s character takes multiple punches to the face while looking the daintiest I’ve ever seen her.

Stop there if you’d like, you have the jist, but there is a little more.

Anyway it all starts when she’s launched on her mission. Is it the first mission of many, or what she’s been training for her whole life, we don’t know. Breslin befriends a girl in a 50’s style diner with instant milkshakes and they start talking about their love interests. The girl has the hots for a guy other than her boyfriend, and Breslin has the hots for her mentor/dad (basically, right? It’s Wes Bentley I get it, but it’s still kindaaa weird right?) That encounter amounts to very little then Breslin meets Jameson, Alexander Ludwigs of ‘Vikings’, who dresses for prom and invites her out. (Yeah, that’s all I got too)

They meet up with Jameson’s three dumb friends and they’re all wearing their prom garb too. Then they drive out into the wilderness to some teenage drinkin and fuckin couches in the woods—again, not that you’ll see any fuckin’ inthis movie, killin’ motivated crimes only for these teen boys. Breslin’s pops out some DMT laced liquor for the boys and they start playing a game of truth or dare out of a bag for some reason. After a weird spiel from Jameson about a rabbit he feels bad about letting die slowly, Breslin conveniently draws ‘get tied up’ from the truth-or-dare bag. She’s tied behind the back, not that it really matters because she gets out instantly. Then they tell her their plan for the four of them to hunt her down ‘The Most Dangerous Game’ style. They give her five minutes to run, but one guy is too eager to kill her and runs off before the five minutes is up. Luckily he’s tripping balls by now in the way only people who have never tripped any balls imagine tripping balls is like, so while he’s battling two deadmou5e-like apparitions Breslin can steal his axe and kill him with it. Now she’s armed, oh never mind she left the axe in that guy’s chest.

Then she kills another hallucinating guy after taking a couple blows, then she goes after the third guy. Number 3 is also clone kid #7 from UltraViolet, his worst fear is that his girlfriend, the one from the 50’s diner, is fucking Jameson—which she is—and also that she will find out about their “hunting trips” and he will have to kill her for it. After hallucinating all of this, including a fist fight with Jameson who apparently isn’t even there, it is revealed to be Breslin’s character encouraging his hallucinations the whole time. She then kills UltraViolet-child-actor with a rock to the face in the the best kill scene of the film.

(See?)

The only one remaining at this point is Jameson, who incidentally is the only boy who didn’t take the DMT laced drink. Breslin is beat up and exhausted by the time Jameson encounters her. Before THEIR fistfight they engage in a game of wits (not For realz). They each answer each other’s questions with Breslin revealing she enjoyed killing the boys and Jameson AKA Ragnar Jr. admitting they’d already killed 20 women the same way. He then asks her to join him and continue killing together, but she declines, they fist fight, she chokes him like she choked Bentley in the beginning, and drugs him.

(This is the high school goof supposedly responsible for 20 murders. I just can’t get over this. As an avid reader of true crime, numbers like this are unheard of for a guy of his age. Also are we supposed to believe 4 guys in Tuxedos in this seemingly small town have killed 20 women and no one noticed? GTFO)

When Jameson wakes, he’s in a noose on a stump teeter tottering for his life as he starts to hallucinate. He satisfactorily begs Breslin for mercy, then is overtaken by his worst fear—the ghosts of his victims who startle him off the stump and to his death by strangulation.

After Ragnar Jr’s dead, Bentley walks out of the forest with a sniper rifle and I almost freaked TF out. I don’t feel good about comparing it to LOTR, but it’s like Gandalf calling in the giant eagles to take Frodo home after he’s travelled a third of the world to get there ON FOOT. What. Was. The. Point. Seriously. (Actually seriously—would the birds have been corrupted by the ring of power, or is that just like a major plot hole? And was Breslin on hard drugs for a little while and I didn’t hear about it?)

Anyway, after that Breslin and Bentley go to a diner, order pancakes, agree that they taste terrible, and that’s it. The end.

I know you may be thinking ‘yeah unidentifiedflyingfks, but your missing the deeper meaning—they all took the DMT and it made them face their worst fears!’ Yeah—I get that, but it still doesn’t mean it works. I would have literally rather it be magic than DMT. They’d probably all have different reactions and probably not even be incapacitated in the ways depicted in the movie. For it to expose everyone’s ‘worst fears’ is fucking magic anyway so let’s go ahead call a spade a lazy, half baked plot line, m’kay?

What really irks me about this movie though, is it could have been good. Have Breslin act within her skill set and find ways for her to use them that make sense, or at least give her some boxing classes and have her lift weights for Christ’s sake. Also these teens have killed 20 girls already? Where did they even come from? Also Bentley knew and this was the best way he could come up with to take them down? And who told him to act like a total weirdo creep in every scene? I don’t expect much. If you can’t make it good make it funny and this was neither. I wanted to like this movie, I still like Breslin and Bentley, but for as many reviews I read that wanted to give it 0 stars and couldn’t, I will. Never forget…. Oh never mind forget it all.

***0/5 FF’s, first certified TERRIBLE MOVIE!!

Here’s some user comments I found 😂😂 ->

#funny #final girl #abigail breslin #wes bentley #alexander ludwig #film #movies #bad movies #movie rant #movie review #film analysis #horror comedy #bmovies #b horror #horror movies #bad horror #film review #2000s horror #cameron bright #cinema #horrorgeek #horrorjunkie #scream queens #final girls #serial killer #killer #teen horror #freemoviesonline #tubitv #shitpost

[theocseason4]

Your blog made me ask actor friend the orgy club. It’s very selective. Abigail Breslin got denied lmao. Most Glee and other teen drama kids have been. Like yeah, Logan went with Ezra once but both went back a few times. I don’t know if they still go. It’s like hook culture for celebrities without going out of their circle.

Fuck imagine getting denied from the orgy club