Tumgik
#fucking CHEATING
adhd-merlin · 10 months
Text
some people really be out there typing fanfics longer than war and peace in their free time and then going on about their life like it's no big deal. how fucking incredible. like no offense to tolstoy but that was like. his whole job
51K notes · View notes
n0bluev · 24 days
Text
Tumblr media
Satoru booped Suguru and isnt letting him boop back (insufferable evil brat : [infinity mode])
Bonus: Catoru
Tumblr media Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
puppetmaster13u · 3 months
Text
Prompt 185
No one could get into contact with Constantine. 
Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something. 
And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!) 
So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer. 
“You’re not Constantine.” . 
The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.” 
He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.” 
… That was probably their John, wasn’t it…
2K notes · View notes
pippuns · 10 months
Text
you ever think about how fucked up it is that shen qingqiu's first mission out of sect was him subduing the skinner, a demon who targeted and replaced people no one would really miss?
very fun how the skinner ended up getting killed and destroyed by someone else who took the place of a person no one really missed
5K notes · View notes
Text
one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
662 notes · View notes
hychlorions · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
world's worst not-poker game
983 notes · View notes
ew-selfish-art · 9 months
Text
DpxDc AU: Not all omni-lingualism works the same- Nightwing learns this the most awkward way possible.
Dick has gotten to know Phantom, who is constantly hanging around his brothers on various missions and the guy seems like a genuine delight. He’s very easy going, serious when needed and way over powered when it comes to dealing with mission crises. Duplication, ice, invisibility, time dilation (though Phantom insists it has to do with a god’s blessing for running favors and not his own power) like so much, and shit, Nightwing has even seen him easily switch between languages when talking to different heroes. Phantom never explains how any of his powers work, they’re just glad that his powers always do.
On one particular mission Nightwing asks if Danny can switch to a Romani so that they can shit talk without alerting the other team members. (He’s seen him switch to Arabic for Damian so like, why not?)
Danny explains that well, he probably can but normally it takes time and uh, circumstances for him to be fluent enough for conversation. (The circumstances Danny is referring to are that of life or death pt. 2 since that’s when he has the best control over this power.)
Now…Nightwing’s first and only experience with biology related polyglots was Starfire kissing him upon landing on Earth in Jump City. So Nightwing says, ok bet. What’s a little peck between bros?
Being kissed by Nightwing is not what Danny expected, but given the anxiety suddenly raising his blood pressure like a life or death situation would, it does in fact lead to him being able to speak Romani.
This is also the story about Dick learning that he just kissed his little brother’s new boyfriend.
2K notes · View notes
lotus-pear · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
never forgiving bones for fucking up this scene
2K notes · View notes
felsicveins · 2 months
Note
I've seen Otto flirt with every brother but ONE!! I desperately need to see Otto brutally rejected by a happily married Bruce(and possibly salty Brandi??)
Is this in the cards for Otto 🤨
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He can dish it out but he certainly can't take it
475 notes · View notes
doumekiss · 3 months
Text
if you break it down Kabru's journey on the whole manga is about the ridiculous lenghts he will go through just to get this one weird guy to notice him and talk to him a little bit
976 notes · View notes
amber-laughs · 4 months
Text
no offense to the general public but when people say catelyn knowing about R+L=J would’ve changed her and jon’s relationship i know they don’t get catelyn’s character.
if ned had told catelyn the truth about jon it would not have made their marriage stronger it would have ruined it. telling his wife he puts jon’s safety above her children’s (which is exactly what he was doing) would put an end to the love in their marriage she would hate him. catelyn would’ve hated jon even more if she knew who he was because he was an even greater danger to her children. ned made traitors of all the starks without even telling them, if anyone ever found out they would have all been executed. she would’ve slit jon’s throat herself and maybe ned’s too
584 notes · View notes
radio-writes · 29 days
Note
Hi, will u do a human alastor x side mistress reader, so basically he has a wife, but he doesn't really love her, so when he's on the air he has sex with his side mistress in the radio tower. His side mistress knows he's a serial killer, by the way. You don't have to do this if u don't want to. I love ur fics.
Tumblr media
By the Gold Ring on His Hand
Synopsis: He loved you and only you. You were his to cherish, to adore, to worship. Sweet words he whispered softy, promisingly, into your ear. Sweet words he also whispered softly to his wife.
Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), mentions of murder, heavy manipulation, cheating
Tags: human!alastor, alastor x reader, gn!reader, reader is the other wo/man
MDNI
Tumblr media
You've always revered Alastor.
You were entranced by the way his smile never broke. The way he seemed to take control of any situation he was put in. The he always managed to just charm the socks off of anyone he's ever met.
You loved the way he made little corny jokes. You loved the way he danced—barely drunk from the bottles of rye he downed.
And oh, did you love the way he spoke.
You could listen to him all day on the radio, just absolutely smitten and melting where you stood. 
The one thing you didn't love about Alastor—the one thing you despised, really—was his wife.
That naive little thing. So meek, so quiet. You always hated the way she would cling onto his arm at parties. Loathed the way she'd shyly smile at everyone, including you.
There was just no way that delicate stupid girl could satisfy someone like Alastor.
Alastor needed, deserved, a real partner. One that had enough of a spine not to be stepped on, at the very least.
Your fingers twitched, aching to touch him more; to caress his thighs that perfectly framed your head. You wanted to feel him beneath you, reassure your heart that he was here with you.
You groaned as your longing was denied. You felt Alastor press his shoes harder against your hands, pinning your palms to the floor. The fingers in your hair tightened their grip, guiding you more strictly down his cock.
It was enough to cheer you up a little. Although your touch was declined, the little vibrations your sounds made clearly still had an effect on him. You felt a little proud knowing something as small as you moaning around him pleasured the hefty cock in your mouth.
The reality was far more bitter, though. Not that Alastor would ever let you know that.
Truth be told his grip was a warning. He had explicitly told you to be quiet, to keep your hands to yourself. But you seemed to be so adamant on testing his patience today, as you were refusing to do both.
Alastor's smile strained just a tad bit more in annoyance as he spoke into the microphone. "Hate to finish up the broadcast with some sour news, but someone's gotta keep you lovely folks up to date!"
You continued to bob your head between his legs, hidden from the rest of crew by the control panel. You made sure to drag the flat of your tongue over the under side of Alastor's dick each every time you lowered your mouth to his crotch. If your ministrations did anything for him, you couldn't really tell.
His voice was perfect, not a tone out of place as he continued his broadcast. You've never seen a man so well put together while having someone's mouth serve them so reverently.
"Seems the coppers found a couple more for the good old wooden kimonos last night. Grizzly sight it was—so I heard. Hate to be the ones to dig those poor souls out."
Even though he was the one to put them there in the first place, you suppressed a laugh. Not that you were complaining, though. It was part of how you and Alastor finally got together, after all.
Alastor finished up his broadcast, and you continued your slow little prayer on your knees. He waved his staff away when they tried to approach, simply sending them off with a friendly jest that he'd meet them at the bar after he cleaned up his work station.
It was only when the lock clicked behind his crew did Alastor finally acknowledge you. His lovely smile was intact, but you could tell his mood was a little soured by the way his brown eyes narrowed at you from behind his glasses.
The hand gripping your hair pulled you off his cock, a pathetic whine escaping your lips as he did so.
Alastor tried to ignore the—rather off putting—sight of a thin string of fluids connecting your mouth to the head of his dick. He bent down closer to you, keeping his gaze locked on yours.
"My dear, I thought I told you to be quiet while I worked." His voice was as sweet as ever.
You chuckled lightly, you wanted to move your hands to cup his cheek, bring him even closer to you. Perhaps even for a kiss to lift his seemingly bad mood.
The moment Alastor so much as felt your fingers twitch, he stepped harder on your hands again, keeping them pinned to the floor and away from him.
You opted to shrug your shoulders sheepishly instead. "I may have gotten carried away," You responded coyly "You just taste so good."
Alastor did his best not to cringe, choosing to tighten his smile. Ah, you were in one of your moods again, he thought.
"Then why don't you go ahead and have your fill of me now." His hand left the back of your head, resting instead on the sides of his chair as he leaned back. The gold band on his ring finger momentarily caught the light and drew your attention to it.
Your chest tightened just the slightest bit. You absolutely hated the reminder that Alastor wasn't fully yours. That he'd still go home to his stupid wife at the end of the day.
But not for long, at least that's what Alastor had promised you. And not right now. 
You ran your tongue along the thick vein of his cock, from the bottom, up its shaft, and smiled at the sight of his hips bucking up to your touch.
"In your mouth now again, darling." It didn't sound like a request, but you obeyed faithfully anyway. You were rewarded with a soft sigh as you welcomed him back in your warm mouth.
You'd bet your job that his sweet little wife never pleased him like this. Skittish thing like that would probably run at the thought of putting her lips on a hard dick.
Well, her loss is your gain.
You were so far gone in your own head that you hadn't even noticed Alastor wasn't looking at you.
No, instead his head craned towards the ceiling of his studio, eyes closed and tired.
He was trying to focus on the physical sensations you brought him, not that he had much of an interest in it in the first place, but he tried hard to concentrate. All he had to do was finish, and he could finally leave. Leave you here with some sweet promises, and not have to deal with your disgustingly loving gaze on him until maybe his next shift on Monday.
Not that spending time with his wife at home felt any more appealing.
He pushed the thoughts away, willing his mind to stay on you instead. He thought he can finish, at least he could feel the bottom of his gut tightening just a tiny fair bit.
He focused on the way your tongue felt as it swirled around him. How your lips stretched so softly to fit his shaft. How you practically drooled over his cock. How you—
You were noisier now that you knew you were alone, and it wasn't doing Alastor any favors. A rather loud moan cutting through his mind and it almost made the coil in his gut loosen completely, his shoulders tensing instead.
No, no this just wouldn't do. He had much more interesting plans tonight than to sit there and buy your silence with his cock.
His hand reached out once more, much less gentle than it was before. With less grace and care, Alastor's hand rested on the back of your neck, before harshly pushing you down as he bucked his hips up.
Your eyes were wide, a surge of panic filled you at the suddenness of the sensation. His dick hit the back of your throat and you tried to pull back immediately.
Alastor's other hand came up to the back of your head to push you back down. Your nose pressed firmly to his skin as his cock pushed past your throat. 
Your arms strained as you tried to use your hands to push him away, but Alastor merely stepped on your fingers harsher to get you to stay.
"Ah, fuck, darling. Stay like that. Oh that's lovely." You thought you heard him say.
He was finally looking down at you. The way you heaved as you choked on him. The way your body spasmed to get away. The way panic filled your pretty tearful eyes. 
Your throat tightening around him as you tried desperately to breathe felt miles better than whatever you were trying to do before, and it was exactly what he needed.
"Finally," He breathed out softly, almost in a moan, feeling the coil in his gut finally snap. He pressed you down, just the tiniest bit more and you felt his warm seed flow down your willing throat.
"There we go, dear." Alastor's harsh grip in your hair loosened, slowly petting through your locks. The hand on your neck remained, locking you in and rendering you unable to pull free.
Your eyes flickered up to him, part of you ready to beg for mercy, but one sight of his dazed smile made you pliant. Your body relaxed into his touch, simply letting him ride his high out with your bruised throat. 
He must have just gotten carried away, that's all. Simply something new he never got to do with his stupid wife. 
You felt his softening dick slowly pull out of you, his shaft dragging across your tongue and you finally pulled free with a choked gasp of air.
A gentle hand tipped your face back to meet Alastor's before you could be too dramatic. He pressed a gentle, chaste, kiss to the corner of your lips to calm you.
"You'll have to forgive me, my dear. Your body just makes me feel far too good—just couldn't hold back." The charm practically oozed from his smooth tongue.
Your gaze softened immediately. Your hands, now free from beneath his feet, made their way to his cheeks but he easily pulled back.
Really, what on earth made you think he'd let you touch him with filthy hands. Had you forgotten he'd been stepping on them this entire time? Kind of rude, if you'd ask him.
Not that any of those thoughts showed when Alastor simply, gently, helped you up to your feet by your elbow.
"Always so good to me, my dear. How I got so lucky to have a divine thing like you service me, I'd never know." He stood up with you, part of him did enjoy it whenever he got to look down on you in a more literal sense.
He pressed his body against yours, arms on the control panel behind you as he caged you in. His lips barely grazed your ears as he continued his sweet, sweet, praises. "Why couldn't you have shown up sooner, dear? I would have had it all." 
You placed your hand on his chest, failing to notice the way he flinched at the touch. "You still could, you know? All you have to do is leave that naive little thing and I could give you this every night." Your voice was low, seductive, alluring.
Alastor held back an annoyed groan. This again. His eyes rolled, not that you could see it with his head nuzzling against your shoulder.
"We both know I treat you so much better." You continued, hand trailing up to scratch at the hair at the bottom of his neck. "And I'd never hold you back from that little hobby of yours either." 
He chuckled at that, you could feel his lips at the base of your neck. "My dear, we've been through this." His kisses were soft, gentle, barely touching you, just like how he preferred it. "You don't have to feel so threatened by her, it's you that I want."
"Then why don't you—"
A gasp passed your lips.
"Leave her?" Alastor continued your sentence when you couldn't. His warm tongue licked over the reddened skin he bit. "I will, my dear, I will. Things are just a bit complicated at the moment."
More complicated than you knew, really.
He couldn't leave his wife because her dad was a big boss of his station. His ass would be out on the streets in minutes if he ever hurt that shy doll.
But he couldn't just kill you either. Not when your dad was the town sheriff.
He was lucky you were so obsessed with him that fucking you once in a while was enough to keep your pretty little mouth shut.
Honestly, just fuck the day you caught him slicing that man's flesh. That scum was hardly worth all the trouble he now has to go through.
"But I'm working on it." Alastor promised as he finally pulled away from you.
You gazed up into his warm, honest eyes. You adored the way he towered over you, really. It's like you fit together so perfectly—like puzzle pieces, was it? Was that how that cheesy line went.
"And then we can be together?" Your palms move to cup his face, and Alastor caught them on instinct before they could.
But you didn't notice, not when he corrected his actions so smoothly by pressing his lips to your knuckles instead—he tried his best to ignore how filthy they are, just to hide his mistake. "Of course, darling. In fact, I think I can work things out by tonight." 
Your father was going to be alone at the station.
Your eyes lit up. "Really?"
"Yes, my dear. Soon all of this hiding and sneaking around will be a thing of the past." He said, almost with the same amount of excitement as you.
He couldn't wait to toss your body in a ditch next to your old man's corpse.
"But I musn't be late"
He'll miss his chance to slit your father's throat if he lingered any longer.
"Soon you wouldn't have to be jealous of my wife, dear."
After all, the dead don't envy do they?
Alastor willed himself to humor you one last time, pressing his lips to yours before he bid you a good night.
He couldn't have rushed out that door any faster.
Who would have known trying to keep his cover would have eaten up so much of his time? He barely had any left to do the very act he was even trying to cover for.
Honestly, how troublesome.
But no matter, no matter.
He glanced back at the station. He could vaguely see your lovestruck figure through the window. He watched amusedly as you pathetically held your fingers to your lips, absolutely lost on cloud nine.
It won't be long until he was rid of you, and that fact was enough to lift his sour mood.
Tumblr media
324 notes · View notes
bipbopdepmop · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
something something these guys are almost always used as just a sidepiece to grian
Tumblr media
307 notes · View notes
infizero-draws · 6 months
Text
desert duo in a nutshell
484 notes · View notes
syl-stormblessed · 7 months
Text
everyone loves talking about the batshit worldbuilding in WoT but I feel like everybody tends to overlook the Vaguely Evil Elves From Another Dimension that have their own officially licensed chutes and ladders-esque board game that you Cannot Ever Win
571 notes · View notes