#genuinely GENUINELY sorry to ask you to use twitter i know it sucks but the ability to reply with images will make this a billion times

[girlboyburger]

hihi i am VERY broke and need to make ends meet while i catch up on my queue so i'm offering my cheapest commissions ever! ! get a little animal drawing from me and my mouse made in 'spaint !!! HERE"S THE LINK!!!

reblogs super appreciated!! ty !!!!

#genuinely GENUINELY sorry to ask you to use twitter i know it sucks but the ability to reply with images will make this a billion times #easier on me in terms of keeping shit organized #and if someone donated to me and i miss it i'll be sad forever and feel terrible #my art #mspaint #pixel #microsoft paint #commissions #kofi #wwheheewwewwwwwwweewweewww

[goldenhickeysandramen]

What if we ask for receipts?

(This post is inspired by some recent posts from some moots on Tumblr)

We spend all day defending Jimin and JK's bond.

All day, all the time, always in the position of defendant, against anons here, trolls on twitter, and in general, hordes of annoying people.

Well then, let's see what happens if we are now the prosecutor, and not the defense lawyer  

Let's see where the hell your receipts are:

- Love expressions: how many times have your favorites declared that they love each other in different kinds of language?. And I'm not talking about the "I love you" that are given to friends for a specific situation (like Hobi leaving for the ms)... or weird hand signals, you know a lot about that and symbols... but big signs of love…

Like suddenly this:

Or this:

 Or this: 

- Intimacy displays: have your favorites given each other hickeys? (this is important...u know I love hickeys)

Have they flirted in front of thousands of people? (and watch out! because here the line between fan entertainment (I won't say the damm word, which I know you don't like) and genuine flirting is very subtle, but distinctive. This is flirting, for instance 😌

Do they've sucked each other's ear in front of thousands of people?

(Or do they have some kink for ears?)

Have they stuck their D's in front of thousands of people?

  (my God, do you realize what they won't do in front of thousands of people)?

- Show the evidence that your favorites live or have lived together (not in the dorms era back in 2018): let's see... let me think... how many times have they suspiciously shared a car, when we didn't know where they lived extra officially? 

Or do have they been at 4 am in the morning together alone, celebrating billboard or actually delivering hickeys? 

Or in the deed of the purchase of a house appears the address where the other lives (91).?

- Samples of tension or awkwardness beyond explanation: look, we have so many receipts here that I don't even know where to start... just look at Jimin's recent bomb and see JK's visit... and well, there it is... the awkwardness of some of their interactions... sometimes it makes you want not to look... sometimes it makes you feel embarrassed... I sometimes think they're going to screw up at any moment.

- Proof of inside jokes that show that they actually WATCH a lot of content together. Do you have any of your own?

- Demonstration of knowing certain personal information. Here I'm sorry, but again we have a lot of receipts. Tae had no idea that JK did a 3 hour vlive. Or Hobi also didn't know about Jimin's "time" (10:13). Instead, Jimin sees all of JK's vlives...and vice versa (as we’ve been able to check recently) and they know most of things they have done, or where they are at each moment (they even know what happened at bae's grandma's birthday)

And now...let’s see and talk about YOUR receipts:

made-up dinners out alone and selfies in bathrooms (not to mention other things you say happen in the bathrooms)

trips for which there is no concrete proof, or which are clearly BTS trips

any close-up, or photo, or mention on vlive....

each pic on Instagram

a look

breathing the same air

stepping on the same ground

And, so far the most robust, outings at their free time. We had in the past months vkook, jihope, hobikook, or vhope outings.

This is what most people are claiming lately. Maybe it is our fault, for having repeated so many times that Jimin and JK were the ones who most "hanged out" together..... now it seems that this mantra is turning against us.....

Well..... NOOOO.... I object your honour!

Because jikook have literally told us recently that they are both super homely. Which I understand. Not just because of their personalities or that they like it, but because outside, they can't be totally free lately. 

Because if JK is constantly being stalked in his country - just look at where he officially lives - and also, as we believe, jikook are a couple, they have a lot to protect and I think they know that the most intimacy and security they have is at home. 

On the other hand, they already know what happens when they are seen in a certain location: that restaurant ends up becoming a crowded place of jikookers or k-army. So, if they go out, they're going to be very careful and most likely they'll go to trusted places, where they don't post their signatures on IG. So, my friends,…WE WON'T KNOW about it! Unless they want to, or go somewhere more public and new.

And then again, Jimin has been busy with his album and hasn't been seen with anyone. NO ONE. The only exception, Hobi's birthday and the drink they had last Sunday or Monday (as a farewell). And we know this because they wanted to tell us... because if they hadn't, or posted any pictures, there would be no receipts from them either (of course! who of us could have been at Hobi's house on his birthday to know?).

But even with all this reasoning … the truth is that friends hang out and that does not mean they are dating. Hanging out doesn’t work with jikook either by itself. Other things must happen (see above 👆 ☺️)

So your receipts, imo, are either conspicuous by their absence or rather lacking in robustness.

Ours, on the other hand, are terrific! Stop asking for more! We've justified enough.

It must be pitiful to ship any “couple" whose ultimate proof of confirmation that they are together depends so much on another couple failing to provide certain evidence that confirms they actually are...the audacity!!! 

#jikook #kookmin #mingguk #jikook kookmin #jimin and jungkook #minkook #jikook kookmin jinkook jiminshiii jk #mingukkie

[cmyknoise]

"Not entitled to URLs" I've never anyone say that before but you are right

i'm not the only one saying it but yeah.

like. i get it sucks, especially for cc's that have a "brand" right. like of course phil is gonna want the philza/ph1lza url

and anyone would. i would of course, but here's like, the thing right.

these cc's have known about tumblr for years. some have even voiced that they're 'scared' of it.

but twitter is going down a shitty road, and i don't blame them for wanting to jump ship

but now they want their usernames that they've built their brand around. and i get it, but here's the thing.

tumblr isn't like any other platform, and it is almost entirely fandom based

having "canon" urls of characters or fandoms or people is a commodity.

some people hoard urls (which is against tos to an extent, although tumblr does allow you to have some spares, if you have too many they can be taken from you if they've been unused. to my knowledge if you post on said accounts or use them in any way or switch between urls this tos doesnt usually apply, but some people do get terminated for having like 20+ urls saved)

but others genuinely will wait until they see a url deactivate or change and snatch it up

urls are traded around. fuck if i recall a few years back some bigger companies offered money to users to buy certain urls because they wanted them.

but like, these are rightfully obtained urls by fans. they've waited and snatched them up, it's been a race. i got ones like ghostburboo because i made it within a minute of ghostbur's last name being dropped. my best friend has a fundylive account. i know people who have canon urls, they're not impersonating cc's. they enjoy them or their content and post like normal, but those urls are apart of their tumblr space/identity.

and if a cc asked someone for a url and they said 'sure man here you go' then awesome! but they're not doing that, or they've not yet done anything like that. they just go straight to tumblr or they're vocally complaining on twitter about being unable to get urls they want.

i know for phil tumblr responded to him, and i hope to fucking *everything* he does not get those urls by tumblr taking them from someone. that's bullshit and i'm sorry like- i love phil but that's some bullshit. no one should be allowed to just say "hey tumblr i want my url" and tumblr can go "okay king!" and do it, when someone else got it first. thats how all websites work, if someone got that url first they get it. you cant throw a fit if you didnt catch the worm man.

tommy made up a funny url, sneegsnag did, so have others who've joined and couldnt get their classic usernames, why anyone feels entitled to these usernames is crazy to me.

because yeah you've built your brand around it, but you're entering into a fan space.

and these people have, on twitter, admitted to "i might not use this often lol" but they still want the urls, which is once again bullshit.

they're jumping ship from twitter for very good reason, but it's not fair to the users who have been here for years using their urls and usernames to be pressured or at risk of them being taken, especially if the cc isn't even going to be using tumblr all that much.

its tumblr and it's 2022. if you can't get some canon url you mix the letters up. why do you think i have an x in my name? chekhovsgun is taken and has been for ages, so i replaced the o with an x myspace style

use numbers, do something funny. i think tommy's is very funny (and he wasnt upset about not getting tommyinnit, he seemed more sad about not getting wifehaver) sneegsnag's is very funny

these ppl are entering in an enclosed terrarium and then wanting to take the sticks and leaves from bug houses to make their own house and like, bruh you can't just do that.

besides they're not even like, they have so many options. tumblr does custom domains, so they can still have their names they'd just have to get a custom domain for it instead of it being name.tumblr

they can straight up go onto twitter or twitch or youtube and say "hey chat my tumblr is minecraftblockman69 follow me there lmao"

and then there's proof! then people know "hey that's my streamer's tumblr" and the whole risk of impersonation doesnt even matter

like. i dunno man. its extremely upsetting to see people jump ship and want things they feel entitled to have because of their brand, disrespecting that this is a fandom space, when chances are they may not even post here or stay here long.

#discourse #mcyt #ask to tag #lemon answers

[joannerowling]

How do you think the Johnny Depp situation got so toxic so quickly? Is it just because he’s so famous? I do think the anti metoo crowd saw Depp as a good person to use to discredit the metoo movement and used him accordingly considering how famous he is.

I mean I remember the level of hatred he got in 2016-18 then it just changed so dramatically during the trial with seemingly so little effort. It felt so suspicious to me. I went from being pretty indifferent to feeling genuinely quite sorry for Amber. She was treated awfully and I have never really been a fan of hers. I wonder if he employed bots to help start a conversation in his favour considering it really seemed like he had very little positive media coverage before the trial. Although there were plenty of real people on his side on TikTok and Twitter etc.

I just wish he was never cast as Grindelwald. Jo and the crew got so much hate for keeping him as Grindelwald for CoG after allegations then got so much backlash for getting rid of him after a judge literally deemed him guilty. I do think it really damaged the fantastic Beasts films. I have a feeling it would have received a little more goodwill if another actor played Grindelwald from the beginning. Plus as a Grindeldore fan I really didn’t like him as Grindelwald at all and I’m genuinely sad now that anyone who plays Grindelwald will be tainted by the Depp fans who’ll always act like the character belongs to Johnny. No Grindelwald belongs to Jo!

Prefacing this with: i'm not really the best to ask about the Depp/Heard case, or actors in general tbh. I'm not the most knowledgeable and found the whole circus around the trial grotesque.

That being said, how did the situation get so toxic? First of all, the heavy involvement of Depp's legal team (as well as either well paid or very motivated third parties) in building his "defence" online in the years preceding the trials and weaponising the Internet against Heard. This is well known by now and includes falsifying evidence before leaking it to fans, use of bots to build a momentum, etc. But it doesn't explain how the sauce took so well, does it? Imo and in no particular order:

Social context online. Check out the first comment on this reddit thread i've found about the Netflix documentary that came out about the case recently: "The appeal of getting in deep with the case wasn’t so much to learn about law and defamation, it was the fun of joining in with others as a community and sharing reactions and emotions." Based on this alone you could have told this was never going to be about justice, but the internet equivalent of a rave party in post-Covid times.

Fashion. It was trendy to be pro-Heard, now it's trendy to be pro-Depp. "Don't you know new info came out that she actually was the abusive one all along?? Keep up!" is a much better story to gossip about than "yeah, Depp, that known abuser, we've known since 2016"

Reactionary response to the brief #MeToo era, or as we call it, the classic pendulum of misogyny coming back in full swing.

The extremely ridiculous American legal system allowing for trials to be filmed and justice to be made a spectacle of, under the very thin veil of education and "transparency". The only thing that's transparent here is that the US fucking suck but we knew this.

Neo capitalism. See this article : the real winners of the case are media content creators who "went all in".

I too wish Depp was never cast as Grindelwald, first because he's such an obviously poor choice for the role independently of his behaviour. But WB in general has a problem with casting the worst possibly individuals known to man (or rather women) in lead roles. See fucking Ezra Miller and the Flash disaster. But i think what actually damaged the movies much more than any celebrity business (least of all JKR's own controversy which the general public knows shit about) is that they weren't all that good.

#replies #anon #fb #hp cast

[anonymousad]

Shelterwood: a follow-up and apology

someone reached out to me after publishing my Shelterwood crowdfunding post with some very valid stuff that I want to address. they mistakenly sent it non-anonymously (something I confirmed with them before just responding to the Ask), so in the spirit of keeping things unidentifiable around here I am going to screenshot the entire message (so you can know I'm not selectively cutting anything out) and then I'll respond to it in chunks:

A Genuine Apology

so let's start with the first chunk of text:

I'm going to be straight with you: while there were absolutely some points you made about the Shelterwood crowdfund that I agreed with, like how unreasonable the goal seemed for a show produced by a novice showrunner, something's really sticking out here. That thing is that Stephen Indrisano and Nigel McKeon are both young, white, non-binary novice showrunners who secured some high-billing talent and picked unreasonably high crowdfunding goals, but you treated one of them with a lot of grace and understanding... and then turned around and not only accused the other of essentially being the problem with the current state of podcasting, but also called them cis in the process despite having acknowledged their pronouns earlier in your write-up. That was... certainly something. It's almost like you had a specific point you wanted to make, so you just sort of conveniently forget that Stephen is non-binary to make it. That or you don't actually think Stephen is non-binary and were engaging in some passive-aggressive gatekeeping, which also sucks, just in a different way.

this is 100% something I fucked up on, I will readily admit that. my accidental erasure of Stephen's identity as a non-binary person is not okay, intentional or not.

I wrote the initial post gradually over the course of just over a week, top to bottom, and then did a quick skim of it at the end to make sure things were still up-to-date in accordance with any updates to the campaign itself. a result of this is that between when I started the post (where I included Stephen's pronouns of "he/they)" and when I was writing some of the later parts I had forgotten this. I think part of the reason is that the campaign is not really about Stephen, so it isn't like there are consistent references to him as an individual. in the few places there are, such as the intro section of the main text and the FAQ, "he" is used exclusively, which I think mistakenly put that in my mind as Stephen having a male gender identity because I hadn't seen a self-identification as being non-binary on their website or Twitter. but someone deciding to use a specific set of pronouns in the text of something like this (to avoid confusion or for any other reason) does NOT invalidate their use of other pronouns elsewhere. similarly you don't have to outwardly proclaim your gender identity for it to be respected and not assumed as cis.

I am genuinely very sorry about this, it was a mistake and I am in the process of editing the original post to reflect Stephen's proper gender identity.

now then.

let's talk about the difference between Nigel (Among the Stacks) and Stephen and the way I approached them, because you're right that there was a difference.

I think a key way that these two projects differ is that one of them was very clearly made by someone who didn't know what they were doing and was in over their head. Among the Stacks was a clear trainwreck from the moment they started revealing how bloated the cast and crew were. I had many conversations with other creators during that early time where we were all wondering how this thing could function with so many cooks in the kitchen, and how you could have a coherent story with that many characters. it was clearly a product of someone new and over-excited who didn't have a real idea of how to do what they were dreaming of.

in contrast, Shelterwood seems to be genuinely well-thought out and approached like it was created by someone who has done their research and been part of the community for a while. it has a full concept with a clearly outlined size and goals and is a very realistic sounding first project. if it weren't for the goal and the rewards we wouldn't be talking about it at all. as a pitch it is perfectly reasonable.

I went a bit easier on Nigel because just from looking a lot of us could tell that Among the Stacks was going to end in disaster. we didn't know when or how, just that there was no way a project like that could actually succeed. I also knew from interactions between Nigel and other people that she was not very good at taking critique or hearing other people out on stuff that they didn't agree with. I went into that post with the intention of being harsh but fair, because I wanted Nigel to hear what I had to say and LISTEN. not just brush it off as "someone is jealous of my amazing idea and so they are being mean". I was still a bit mean in that post at some parts, I will admit that. my tone can swing a bit far on the sarcastic side, especially the longer I spend on a given post digging into things.

Shelterwood is full of people who should know better, something that it makes a point to brag about. it isn't just one person's dream project that they don't know how to wrangle, Stephen is clearly a proficient showrunner to have pulled all of this together (and I do genuinely find the show's concept to be interesting, even if I didn't really communicate that in the post as much as I could have). Stephen has ALSO been around the block a few times in regards to working on audio dramas, whether or not they have helmed their own. this means that from the start my expectations for them were higher.

my goal was not to accuse Stephen of being "the problem", but I think that this campaign is INDICATIVE of a lot of the "the problems" going on right now with audio drama crowdfunding.

I did seriously think about pulling the last section into a completely separate post, but what I wrote applies to the context of this campaign and so I felt it was important to have that connection. if I had been able to fully communicate my thoughts on it before now, say for the Arden campaign, it would have been part of that post. but it took me a lot of time to get those words down in a way that actually communicated what I think the problem is.

I know having it as part of the Shelterwood post has an implication, and the implication is correct that this campaign is PART of the problem, but it isn't the whole problem.

It's also very weird that you lumped Shelterwood, Arden, Among the Stacks and Afflicted in with The Magnus Protocol, which was on an entirely different level. They're not comparable. Not a single one of those first four shows actually made their crowdfund goals. In Afflicted's case, the all or nothing state of the crowdfund means 100% of that money was returned to backers. The Among the Stacks crowdfund was cancelled. Which means that for 50% of your given examples, literally none of that money ended up tied up in those shows rather than being contributed to other, smaller shows. This is not comparable with The Magnus Protocol crowdfund situation, and I think you know that.

it's 100% true that The Magnus Protocol is on a whole other level than these other campaigns, I said as much in my write-up. it is not comparable and I wasn't attempting to compare nearly $1 million USD to $26,000.

what I was attempting (and may have failed) to do was to point out that what Rusty Quill did was change the playing field for the worse. when looking at those two numbers you can much more easily make attempts to justify the high goals being asked for here, because in comparison that's downright reasonable to what they raised.

as a note: TMP had a funding goal of £15,000 (approx. $19,500 USD). so they weren't actually asking for hundreds of thousands of dollars to make 3 seasons of a show. in fact, what they asked for is less than the campaigns I'm trying to call out here. that Kickstarter has a lot of things that were suspect about it and felt slimey and exploitative, but the asking price was not really one of them.

however.

just because they didn't ASK for that much money doesn't mean they didn't know it would happen (maybe not to that extent, but still). this still had the same impact, which from what I can tell is making some people think that audio drama crowdfunding is for making a profit.

as for the next point about none of the shows except for TMA 2 hitting their goals:

the amount they are walking away with isn't really the point.

at the end of the day, it's about the fact that the more stuff like this happens, the more it is NORMALIZED. and these kinds of goals getting normalized is harmful.

as an example, in the world of video games there is something called "microtransactions". for anyone who doesn't know, these are additional, small purchases you make in a game that you often have already paid upwards of $60-70 USD for. in the beginning, they were marketed as "just cosmetic" and not going to impact gameplay. and so people didn't fight back too hard when EVERY game started implementing them. but of course, what that did was move the bar. it normalized people paying extra money on top of their purchase for something that used to be included for free with a game. and so the companies started pushing the needle further. and further.

now, this isn't a direct parallel for a lot of reasons, but when greed is being put forward as normal again and again (even when it continues to result in failure) it starts to cement it as something "normal". something to be expected.

the larger problem here is that these are unsustainable amounts of money to be trying to get out of the community.

which connects to this next section:

Speaking of The Magnus Protocol, there's also an assumption being made here that someone deprived of the option of helping one of these shows reach their crowdfund goal is automatically going to donate to another show... and I need you to remember that The Magnus Protocol's final tally was something stupid like 4000% of their original goal. Lower crowdfunding goals don't stop people from contributing once that goal has been reached. People just keep donating to that project. None of those people were donating to make sure the thing got made- they were donating because they liked The Magnus Archives, and the hard to swallow pill here is that that doesn't mean they would've contributed to other crowdfunds otherwise. I have my own issues with The Magnus Protocol thing. But the statement that that crowdfund snatched money out of the pockets of smaller shows by having an unreasonably high goal just straight-up does not hold water. That's nothing. It's 4000% less than nothing. You're allowed to be mad that that campaign got such a ridiculous amount of funding when so many smaller shows are struggling. You don't need to couch it in pseudo-logic to justify feeling that way. We're all mad about it. It's okay.

this is definitely a good call-out, this person is right that someone not donating to one campaign does not mean that money will go to another. in a lot of cases, the only reason someone sees a campaign is because it is being promoted by the things they already like (in The Magnus Protocol's case that obviously being The Magnus Archives), and that means they probably aren't going to be choosing between every campaign that is out there and deciding where their $5 is going to go. they might just as easily pocket it and buy a nice coffee the next day.

and that absolutely sucks, because it would be nice for the love that some people have towards specific shows to be something that extends to the whole medium.

but I do think there's something to be said for feeling like even a small donation is making an impact. I would feel kind of bad to only be able to give $20 towards a $10k+ goal, it isn't even a drop in the bucket towards what is needed and if I care enough to donate to something I do want it to succeed. but that same $20 to a campaign only asking for $3000? that's a lot more tangible of an impact. enough so that I could feel good about splitting that $20 between two projects maybe.

that isn't 100% the point of what you were saying, I know that. the reality is that not everyone in this community has a general investment in the success of others.

I think where that becomes the biggest problem is when some people only seem to have an investment in themselves, and no one else. that's where these things become problems, when the larger needs of the community are ignored for the sake of a few who repeatedly succeed.

I'm kind of bleeding a bit into my response to the next part, so here that chunk is:

And do I agree that we as a community need to start talking about what is and is not realistic when it comes to crowdfunding? Yeah, absolutely. You have a point there. That's a valuable and timely observation and I'm glad somebody said it. Unfortunately, the value of that point was absolutely buried by the extremely obvious fact that this time, in this case, something about this project is personal for you. I don't know what it is specifically, but I do feel the need to ask: You are aware that Tal Minear is involved in the show as a graphic designer and minor actor, right? They have nothing to do with the crowdfund or the rest of production. Their name being attached doesn't mean they're secretly running the show. This is not Tal's show. They'd be credited as a producer if they were that involved. So why do you feel the need to keep bringing them up? Anyway, it's extremely difficult to take your analysis in good faith when it's so transparently motivated by some sort of personal distaste for somebody/the people in the project, and that's a shame, because some of the things you're saying have value.

I certainly didn't shy away from pointing a bit of a finger at Tal Minear for promoting this ideology, among others. their clear involvement in this project makes me immediately more suspicious, because Re: Dracula was a self-admitted cash grab. and that stain on their character is not going to go away for me.

it's less that it's "personal" for me, and more that this is a figure in the community that I have repeatedly seen presented as an expert that MUST be listened to. including by themself. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the matter of crowdfunding.

now, if I were friends with someone like that AND they were involved with my project that was about to have a campaign, would I not lean on that resource? even just for advice on how to put it together and what needs to be included. Tal just wrote a small little article for Descript that has some very generic crowdfunding tips, so they are arguably the most knowledgeable person involved in the campaign to go to for advice and feedback.

I know for a fact that Tal has given crowdfunding advice unsolicited to people running campaigns, usually in the form of asking why crew is not being paid appropriately (a valid question in most cases where actors tend to get a huge portion of the budget). so I can't imagine a world where they didn't give at least a little input to a friend for a show that they are actively involved in.

I don't think they are running anything behind the scenes, no, Tal is not part of some audio drama Illuminati. but I do recognize the high esteem to which they are held by MANY community members.

my goal was to call out the culture that has grown around audio drama crowdfunding, and the ways that I've seen it hurting most people who attempt to do it. I have noticed that Tal is a big part of what has normalized that.

as for the ways in which I brought them up, yeah I like to be a bit snide and I probably laid it on a bit thick. it's easy to get carried away in these things, especially towards someone that I am admittedly not a huge fan of.

that is the extent to which it could be considered "personal" for me, but I understand if you don't believe that or if that still had too much of an impact on taking the rest of what I said seriously. that is your choice and I respect it, it's just very difficult for me to separate out their involvement given what I know outside of this.

You're just completely undercutting that value by surrounding it with so much pointless nitpicking and snideness. What happened to "#but actually my intention is to be thoughtful and not mean"? You claim to be acting in the interest and defense of the community, but as the creator of a small podcast that nets me absolutely zero profit, I'm not feeling it. This feels like it's about you, not the rest of us.

this is absolutely fair.

I am just one person at the end of the day. I've talked to others, discussed the situation surrounding this campaign and others like it with them, but I am the one typing it down and inserting my voice and my take on it.

as such, I am not going to be a perfect mouthpiece for everyone's thoughts about this stuff.

I WANT to be one that is largely beneficial, however.

sometimes I lean a bit heavy into the snideness for the sake of keeping things interesting; these write-ups are LONG and as a writer I recognize you have to do something to keep people engaged so they actually absorb what you are saying.

is that the right approach? probably not for everyone, but it is part of a reflection of my own voice that it comes out like this.

"#but actually my intention is to be thoughtful and not mean" is something I wrote, something that I still want to keep in mind but sometimes I fail at that. in this case, I found it hard to stick to.

repeatedly seeing campaigns like this is disheartening to me, it wears me out. there is an amount of what a lot of people might see as "bitterness", but it's not really about any specific project or person.

I think my massive fucking rant at the end of that post about capitalism ruining audio dramas with the need to make money unsustainably says a lot about how I feel about the current financial state of the world. a lot of that "bitterness" is from this deep rage towards to the system, directed outwards where it can be. maybe the flow of it was a bit strong on this one, but it is still an accurate reflection of the way that I see things.

note, an accurate reflection to ME. it's okay if it isn't accurate to you, that's part of why the conversations need to happen.

part of why I do the math breakdowns for the budget is to help myself try and get a grasp on what those numbers mean. the human brain is not really formatted to understand large quantities of things, especially something that is usually intangible in those high amounts like money. I also do it because I want to give someone the opportunity to say "actually, you're wrong because this does add up. you are just missing part of the picture."

I know the way I approached this might come off as defensive, that's not my intention. I decided to break it down like this so that no one would think I'm trying to skip over feedback or ignore certain points that make me look bad.

everything that this person said to me is a valid response to what I wrote, including the things I pushed back on.

I am very grateful that they reached out to me, and I want to continue the conversation. ESPECIALLY if they feel that I did not hear them here.

my responses are just that. a response. they are not a claim of being right or these reactions being unjustified. we are all only in our own heads, and the conclusions we come to are usually based in rationality. my mind is open to being changed, I want to see as full a picture as possible.

if you disagree with what I've said, that is fine.

if you agree with what I've said, that is fine.

if you aren't sure, that is also fine.

we're talking about something complex and nuanced and just because I'm the one bringing these things up doesn't mean I have the RIGHT opinion or that I am the person who SHOULD be saying it.

there is a reason that I am anonymous here, and it's mostly because the conversation is more important than who is speaking.

as always, my inbox and Asks are open.

feedback welcome, I mean that.

#anonymous ad #crowdfund tips #shelterwood crowdfund #Stephen Indrisano #Tal Minear #among the stacks crowdfund #The Magnus Protocol crowdfund #“but actually my intention is to be thoughtful and not mean” is something I will do better to keep in mind #at the end of the day I do want this to make us a better community #sorry that capitalism ruins everything as per usual

[codecicle]

Read the intro post

wow what a cool and awesome person...

FUCKING 14 YOU ARE A CHILD MY GOOD SIR??? /LH

1: YOOOOOO YOU THINK IM A COOL AND AWESOME PERSON?? THANKS MAN :DD and 2: LMAOOOOOO YEA I AM!! I've been on here since I was like, 11-ish? not sure. my friend introduced me to tumblr during the beginning of my 7th grade year! (and fun fact: that same friend is both my mutual and the person that gave me my nickname actually!! which turned into my url ^_^)

anyway, I'm going to rant underneath your ask about being a child now im so sorry 😔

It's always been so weird being as young as I am both on tumblr and in the fandom space I'm currently a part of. Like realistically, a 14 y/o boy liking minecraft/mcyt sounds really normal but I don't know anyone my age that is open about being a part of this space. I think growing up on tumblr instead or twitter or tiktok honestly really helped when it comes to being happy in my intrests, since almost every other freshman to ever exist has no idea what this website is and they have no chance of ever finding my posts to make fun of me with them. I still use the other two, but I don't post and I only really open them when a cc like Charlie or Ted posts.

It's hilarious to me that because of my current intrests (jrwi and charlie in general) almost everyone that I'm friends with on here are much older minors or adults, mainly because charlie has a pretty mature and well rounded audience (THANK FUCKING GOD 🙏🙏), but also because everybody else my age that are in this fandom are on tiktok. Using tiktok for me and actually posting is kinda unsafe because of the way the tiktok contact sharing works? if someone from my classes finds it through "recommend accounts" then they can look through my account and harrass me if they recognize who it is. Not to steal a Charlie Slimecicle quote for a second, but I was rewatching an old podcast episode from the very beginning of 2020 and he described it as "elevated highschool" which I 100% agree with. Even 3 years later it's still very much just a higher form of highschool bullshit to have to deal with.

But since I don't post on tiktok I don't really have much to worry about!! My account is blank and it's the same @ as my url so nobody should recognize it and put a face to a name which im grateful for. However, being on tumblr isn't the greatest either;

People on here are all adults and I feel a little bit intimidated? In a sense? I understand that I'm a LOT different than most kids my age and I don't typically have anything to worry about but!! I feel like that's what makes it worse. The other people my age that were or still are on here don't understand tumblr etiquette, don't understand not to act like this is twitter and not have stupid cubito discourse, or just aren't funny? Idk I've just never found anyone my age (with the exception of like 3 of my mutuals you guys are amazing and I love you) that I can really talk to on here, so all of the friends I've made are much much older. I'm smart with who I talk to and how I talk to them so I'm safe don't worry!! My parents raised me right and online safety is such a wonderful thing, but one of my closest mutuals on here is in college right now, and the others are juniors or seniors in highschool. I kept my age out of my bio for so long but honestly that was because I was terrified I would scare away the people that I trusted so much because literally obviously it's going to feel weird for them to be mutuals with a genuine honest to god child. I'm relatively close to turning 15 so I'm getting less and less worried about stuff like that happening but eh that was still a real fear for a while.

Anyway sorry for the rant!! TLDR; highschool sucks, I'm scared of being this young on a platform and fandom full of adults and I have to be extra careful, and also charlie slimecicle is a pretty cool guy to look up to so I feel like him being [vine boom sound effect] my COMFORT STREAMER kinda works out in my favor ngl :D

#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍 #we have mail :] #its so weird now being honest about this i guess?? like its literally nothing crazy its my age in my bio but still #anyway sorta on topic but also not i had recently turned 11 when the dsmp started #literally remember watching the discduo finale during my 6th grade online classes LMAO #also yeah sorry for the being a child jumpscare!! i feel like i dont really act or talk my age that much and im a LITTLE more emotionally #mature than the average freshman but still i digress #tysm for the ask though!! sorry for turning it into this 💀💀

[incarnateirony]

I've been generally... impressed with growth I've seen in the base line of the SPN fandom's dialogue, despite my complaints at certain groups and flares.

When I first hopped off the fence I had watched SPN fandom on for years, even THAT was many years ago.

Back then, this fandom denied a great many things. They refused some things you might laugh at now. The global decline of ratings, for example. Jared stans denied that loudly when they tried to blame Misha for "low ratings", but the second their show crash they tried to use it (incorrectly in a nonapplicable way). Scripts I leaked. Endings I uh. Specced. Maybe even again got mocked for speccing by would be ITKers like Pat, until Dabb confirmed it.

Like. My life is a cycle of posting things and some asshole arguing with me and brushing the results under the rug but

Fandom mostly--MOSTLY--seems to get it. Discourse is opening about corporate structures and trades and potential influences. People are sending good asks, and one not driven purely by a single ship, though sometimes how that ship interplays with this grander media universe.

Which was always kinda the whole point.

I think Tess said it best. (For those that don't know, she was a professional reviewer assigned an episode 300 review so power watched the show for research for the article while livetweeting)

...and it's true.

And I look to the current crowds.

From Amazon, an inbound flow of mature viewership simply discussing the canon that is, laughing off the anti takes this fandom let itself get sucked into for years. They're used to adult storytelling. Whats's canon is canon. Not what personally fulfills our representational wants is canon. Just like. What's canon is canon. Many things it is, but queerbait it isn't.

SPN and CW fandom arguments exist in a bubble, often with young audiences convinced of what "queerbait" means divorced from actual academia, and even more criminal older people with their own agendas, sometimes even dog whistles, sending them out and blinding them so deeply that a clutch of largely 20 year old women feel entitled to even harass, attack, or wish failure on middle aged queer men for not writing middle aged queer men the way 20 year old women wanted, and didn't fight "hard enough" for them, the 20 year old women scream as they crack the whip at creators in shit situations.

But then to act SO GODDAMN SMUG because all your twitter friends believe the same thing with equally shallow effort, convincing yourselves it's progressive, and just LECTURING people looking up from like. Their actual LGBTQ histories, discussions, communities, going "genuinely, what the fuck is wrong with you, shut up"

But I think this flare of QUEERBAIT is a sort of culture shock response. These people are VERY CONFUSED. SPN fandom has let these poor definitions, poor applications, and absolutely terrible academic or historic lgbtq media knowledge be normalized in a sort of "all opinions about how media should work are equal", and it's not. Because like [gestures at my wall trying to keep people from getting lost in the WBD merger]

They want to put that point back in. SPN's audience is suddenly maturing, and being TREATED by this new Amazon audience LIKE The Boys or Mad Men in discussion. And soon, eventually, HBO too.

It seems to be MOSTLY, but not exclusively, younger people, that deeply crave a simple point or objective to fight towards, something you can take a hammer to or throw a molotov through a window and fix, and I'm sorry, part of growing up in the LGBTQ community is realizing it's never, ever that simple, and figuring out sometimes abstract or bizarre compensation methods to fight against our marginalized status without stepping on each other's feet.

So let's make sure we're not cracking the whip on people for, say, performing their own representation demographic well for us while snapped in shackles with a shock collar. Jesus christ.

And yeah, if you missed it, another Queerbait Scholar came out. Trotted out the normal fandom talking points. Tried to declare about degrees and education, pasted a citation

...gave away they've never done research in their life, as the academic paper they cited was a small piece that mapped out argued definitions and, ultimately, disassembled her argument piece by piece about the damages that come with bad faith readings like hers, with a fairly strong conclusion that in no upside down world could be conveyed as even lightly compatible with her point. Like literally, it's very clear she googled keywords trying to force a biased result, read a google truncation, and hit Ctrl+F without reading any surrounding content, because it was like a dissertation DESIGNED to end her.

And we've let this kind of bullshit drive us a while.

I'm glad. I'm glad a lot of people have turned around, but I'm also quite sad that there's others just seeming to double down and increase their violence against LGBTQ content and creators to compensate, screaming "I'M FIGHTING FOR YOU" while mentally pummeling the fuck out of those creators for trying.

I can't emphasize this enough. For all the pomp of her, the people she was trying to downtalk at in huge Dunning-Kruger in a neon lit exhibit display--everyone else read what she cited. She didn't, as was evident by her citing it.

The labor of YOUR ignorance already isn't OURS to deal with to begin with, but to attach that to INTENTIONAL ignorance, the REFUSAL to listen even when redirected to READ ONES OWN CITATION as actually being COUNTER to your argument--that's BEYOND the pall. That's not even just like, anti-intellectual. It's just being a dishonest piece of shit trying to pitch your personal wants beyond active warriors IN the community. Jesus what the fuck? If your best attempted google fu of no doubt suggestive string words only found a paper telling you that you're wrong, maybe you should listen to the elders that have been telling you to STOP ATTACKING QUEER CREATORS STUCK IN LIMITED SITUATIONS FOR YEARS. But of course, they double down instead, because that avoids having to face the impact of their PAST behavior then. (Or maybe it's just addiction to those sweet, sweet likes and trying to grab them before the claim's popularity goes entirely extinct.)

There's a desire for simplicity, but it's not there guys. Let me emphasize. Almost any single scholarly piece on this that ISN'T a self published piece of nonsense someone points at their own work on? Is gonna say the same thing. The same thing has been said for decades. Berens argued the same in 2003. This isn't new. Yall backwards

Whatever this impregnable wall of bitterness impervious to realities from public common knowledge to their own citations is, it's not progress. It looks alien from the outside, even in actual academic LGBTQ media discussions. You normalized it in a bubble.

The fight for progress is hard and complex and probably kind of disorienting and scary when you're new. There's oppression from above and limitations from within and DECADES of complicated discourse of where moral responsibility lies in support of the content despite shortcomings

None of this, I mean absolutely NONE OF THIS is new. It's a highly explored, delicate and nuanced conversation held for decades--less with changed popular opinion, and more with importance of new scopes like the internet or social media.

But somehow we have one cluster of like a dozen people in each CW teen scifish fandom that absolutely trained themselves into believing their unbridled unforgiving scorched earth bitter hell is "THE" LGBTQ way. Rather than one the community has called destructive or limiting to us in some form, for decades.

You don't get to redefine things and change how it works when you don't even UNDERSTAND how it works. You definitely don't get to pretend it's all the other decades more immersed activists in and WELL BEYOND SPN FANDOM that have it fucked up and YOU TEN are the right ones. Jesus

I'm tired of these perpetual aggressions against queer content and creators from SUPPOSED supporters that are VERY SRS ABOUT REP but can't even read the ABSTRACT or scroll to the CONCLUSION before deciding to cite a piece from a google truncation.

I'm genuinely starting to think there's some terfy ass radfem dogwhistling going on consciously from that corner at this point. There's a level of shamelessness that, even when confronted with their own source telling them they were wrong, they double down.

Because if a bunch of 20 year old women decide to tell a bunch of 40 year old queer men how to write 40 year old queer men to the point of encouraging SPITE AND HARASSMENT, that's it. You're not fighting for the 40 year old queer men. Stop pretending you are. If you wanna say you hate gay men or got issues with them then like, get out and go until you take care of that shit. Because this is looking like a very gay creative room, and we don't need bad faith actors tearing them apart pretending it's as an Ally.

If your wish ultimately boils down to wishing failures on a predominantly LGBTQ creative team, I don't care what you gift wrap it in, it's still shit. You're not an ally or friend in this fight.

Can't believe this fandom hears shit like "real activism takes education and nuanced engagement, not quick responses and hammers, not all moments are portland riots resisting the cops, we wouldn't be here that way; use words correctly, so we can actually address the issues we're facing, actually identifying queerbait, or other issues in the system, because if we know what the problems are each to their own we can start addressing them--to support creatives while fighting back against abusive corporations without hurting those creatives. We can't if we just throw 'everything I don't like or wasn't enough for me' in the same fucking bin. And nobody can even pretend the demand for the right to do so services any action. Their intent isn't action. It's noise.'" and pretends these are irrational or unfair statements.

They're ripping apart the people actually taking action.

For the last SEVERAL years whatever Supernatural fandom has had hasn't even remotely looked like real world activism in representation expansion discussions. It looks like a bunch of people who grew up trained in a normalized thunderdome of bad fandom talking points they don't know better than which have moved the entire fucking talking centers off into another fucking solar system from most of the world. It's bloodsport posing as activism, addiction to conflict rather than discussion of advancement, progress, tactics, or celebrating the content they DO manage to make in a warped system.

#supernatural #spn #the winchesters #destiel

[charcolor]

hey, genuinely want to know why you dont like steampianist? What did he do?

i answered a similar ask a while ago, i think with screenshots but i can't find the post anymore cuz tumblr search sucks.

i really don't feel like getting into it again. sorry. but the short answer is his history of antisemitism (namely taking photos of his middle/high (? forget which) school uniform with a swastika on it and calling it his "edgy kid uniform") and pedophilia apologism (followed shadman on twitter for a while knowing that he's a CP artist, i believe he unfollowed eventually but he still follows at least 1 account that openly posts rape and gore fetish shit) (oh he also left a comment a while ago praising a song that uses oliver because the song was literally trying to justify and condone pedophilia)

as far as i know he's never owned up to any of it

if i find my other post again i'll link it

edit: here are some easy screenshots i took just now, there's probably more shit out there but i don't want to spend much more time on looking for it again

(the tweet he was responding to in the top tweet was mine, from my old account which is now locked and i don't feel like logging back in to screenshot it - i basicslly just asked "why do you follow notorious pedophile artist shadman"

(these tweets are about the same photo, the one of his high school uniform with the swastika, which he apparently denied it being a swastika at first)

[metacrisisdoctor]

I’ve seen you getting some negative asks lately which sucks, so I just wanted to pop by to let you know you are genuinely one of my absolute favorite blogs. I’m so sorry people are being mean 😕

aw thank you! i think there has been some migration from twitter recently based on the tones of the asks and stuff. i choose not to use twitter because i find endless discourse and made up ship wars really exhausting and i don't need twitter coming to me lol i also am not in a huge dw mood rn, i'm thinking of other things so i don't have the energy to answer a lot of meta asks and stuff cause i'm not in that mode and tbf i've talked abt this all at length. i feel like i've repeated myself to hell and back about tentoo and tentoorose and don't have anything new or productive to add til we get new content, so that's what i'm waiting for. i'm sure in november we'll all be having a great time and this won't matter.

#reply

[trkstrnd]

hiya. wanted to pop in after i read ur rant post, i hope that's ok.

i agree with what you've said, and personally for me, after i knew That had happened, what had kept me sane was that deep down, i knew carlos would never do this, it is so out of left field, and this is just a shitty plot point the writers pulled out their asses in the s4 writers room (if they kept insisting that they thought of this since s1, they're going to have to try harder, and even then, i'm not sure i would believe them.) for the sake of drama. they know having a wedding planning arc throughout this season doesn't make for good drama, so what do they do? add in this shitty plot to impede their wedding planning.

what really kills me is, in the process of this, it might have undermined carlos' entire character arc in the previous seasons. it really hurts. i don't hate him at all, i understand completely where he's coming from. what i hate is carlos' as a character (in canon at least) suffers as a direct result of the showrunner and writers' shitty plotting and writing (i think this post makes a damn good point of what i'm trying to say,) and i hate how there's nothing we can do in the face of this. i feel helpless, and it hurts to see them go down this route for the sake of 'good drama', whatever the hell they think it means. clearly the writers and the fandom as a whole have wildly different understanding of things, as clearly shown in the interviews they've done so far.

which is why, i'm willing to wait it out and see how this unfolds, even though from the snippets i've read re: the upcoming eps, i think it will piss me off and probably the fandom as a whole. at the end of the day, as the eps start airing and we slowly move past it, i think we can easily choose to take away whatever we want to from this arc, and shove the rest down in a deep, deep drawer where i personally would never revisit again.

it just really sucks for now bc we only have one ep of information to work with, and 5-6 more days to wait until the next ep. i really do appreciate posts of ppl reminding us of how they've handled previous bad arcs (tk relapsing, the breakup, gwyn's death, etc., you get the drill) that have turned out to be phenomenal in hindsight, and i'm clinging to this until the eps start airing, and we get a more coherent picture. until then, we only have each other to discuss and perhaps rant to, to try to make sense of it all.

sorry for the rant, and thank u for reading this all the way through. sending u love in the meantime, and i know we'll get through this with time.

anon i mean this with everything in my body and soul and heart.

you summed it up perfectly.

we know it’s a bad plot, and we know we will move past it, and i really think the thing that hurts the most is it does really taint their entire story so far, knowing he had this all along, but i am hoping and praying that we get more, better plot in the next few episodes, and hopefully we can shove this down and forget it ever existed.

the disconnect between these writers and the fandom is insane, though. that’s what’s getting me. it’s like tim genuinely likes making us upset. remember when his twitter handle was cancelledagain? it’s like he doesn’t care about his own show, and the real drama for him is watching us all react and hate him for the plots he pulls out of his ass.

it’s so out of left field, and it fucks with everything we’ve known so far, and that’s why i see a bunch of people giving up on this plot and show, because it feels like we have been lied to the past few years as well.

even though we haven’t. it wasn’t the truth until he sat down and wrote it in. it’s fucking dumb, and surviving on 43 minutes a week with a plot like this is exhausting.

thank you so much. please never hesitate to dm me, anon. this ask was so very appreciated.

#911 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #trick talks lone star #trick answers asks #trick loves their anons #ask #answer #asks #answers #answered #ls s4 #911ls #tarlos

[gayravi]

sorry i really don't want to start drama but how is it wrong to say lucy is a waste of screen time or an unnecessary character? like they introduced her with a cheating storyline that will most likely not be the reason bt will break up bc it's gonna be about ethical conflict so why introduce her in the first place only to create cheap drama that ig going nowhere and everybody hated? how was that a breath of fresh air exactly? why couldn't the writers just use that same screen time on other characters instead of wasting it on her?

tldr: the show does not exist to make random fans like you happy.

every time i say "the people in my inbox don't understand media literacy" it's mostly a joke, but boy oh boy y'all continue to make me believe it!

here's the thing about plotlines -- they have to start somewhere. you can't just have a big bombshell drop with no setup. it's bad storytelling. so they have to set it up -- the cheating storyline was that setup. having buck cheat on taylor (which was about eddie as much as it was about taylor, btw) led to their fight about taylor feeling like buck trapped her, and more importantly, led to the conversation between buck and maddie about buck clinging and settling. it also led to the taylor/lucy conversation about things getting messy, which in turn led to taylor being the ones to make things messy. if you can't see the obvious thread of story that that follows, starting with the cheating storyline, then i genuinely don't know what to tell you.

also, y'all really need to stop invoking characters of color you had no interest in just to justify your lucy hate. it's annoying, it's telling, and most importantly, it doesn't make sense. anirudh is out there making a name for himself in roles that aren't reoccurring spots on a fox procedural. tracie is literally a huge actress with other priorities. they have other jobs, their own lives, and most importantly, they're reoccurring characters. lucy isn't "stealing their screentime", because by all odds, the storyline would not have worked with those characters. lucy is there as an outsider looking in; she's almost certainly the audience-insert character, there to show the ways in which the 118 work. the breath of fresh air is that lucy is not part of the family -- she doesn't fit into the dynamic the way the other characters do, and it goes to show how the 118 is co-dependent and so entwined with each other's lives.

the writers aren't wasting time on anything. they very purposefully choose which characters interact in a scene, because newsflash, it's their goddamn jobs to do so. you guys need to get off your high horse and stop pretending like you know better than people who's literal job is to write this story. you complain at every turn when things aren't going exactly the way you want/expect, and it's genuinely so exhausting that i don't know how you keep up with it. i barely can.

the drama wasn't cheap. if we get buddie roommates era, the only reason that was able to happen was because buck cheated on taylor and then asked her to move in. i'm going to start assuming that y'all hate buddie roommates era now if you hate the cheating storyline btw.

anyway, i'm not trying to sound like a bitch. but you guys purposefully misunderstand the role lucy plays to justify your hate for her, and then come into my inbox trying to tell me she's a terrible character and a waste of space like -- when have i ever made it seem like i agree with that take? if you want to complain about lucy, go to twitter and suck their dicks. i'm sure they'd love the attention.

#reply #anonymous

[what-if-nct]

(cw // mentions of sh in case anyone is triggered)

hii it’s christmas where i live meaning it’s probably not christmas for you (unless you waited hours to finally reply back) but i just wanna say merry christmas and thank you for being there with me during my hard and mentally draining days. it’s so hard being on social media without bumping into negativity such as real life news, people debating about bare minimum things such as rights for body autonomy, gay rights, etc, and especially for my case, being shunned by a community of people i thought were friends simply for talking about jonghyun on my posts that solely rely on users to create posts in order for the app to work.

while i wish i don’t want to be super negative all the time, this was exactly how i felt this year. i felt violated, stripped from my pride and tormented — yet i’m expected to be happy all the time and put up a brave face all the time.

the truth is, i hated turning 18 because i couldn’t bare the responsibility of being considered an adult at the face of the law, when i had my childhood partially taken away from me. nobody was there during my mental breakdowns. just because it wasn’t 2022 anymore, doesn’t mean i didn’t face cyber bullying and faced targeted harassment simply for talking about my bias just like any other kpop fan, and people liked to downplay it by telling me to “keep it to myself.” i didn’t get to do my dream course at my new college due to my grade, and i felt so fucking shit because i’ve done everything in my willpower just to get the same score 3 years in a row, nobody took my mental breakdown seriously. i was sexually harassed and taken advantaged of by several men, because they did not respect my boundaries, used me as my drunken self, and tried to contact me via twitter acting like a kpop fan from london in the comments, when he was a 25 year old man who only saw me for my body. i was overwhelmed with the way the job centre was treating me and making me feel worse for simply asking a question to prevent email spams by sending me to a centre that could help me get to know the basics of using technology. i had a job, but got scammed for 2 weeks worth of work and i never got paid. i lost £500 which i rightfully worked my ass for, even almost passing out due to walking upstairs and having my feet ache over the constant standing for 8 hours for 3 days a week. i never got to go to france and meet my cousins. it’s sucks because i was planning this since summer and i’ll never be able to go since my parents took the only savings i had to go to africa for a month due to how expensive plane tickets are. i even got fucking pregnant and not to mention, my mum started to act weird around me… and just the way i was treated after turning into an adult… i don’t really wanna go there.

i know it has been a long year, but idk if it’s gonna change at all or if it’s gonna get worse. i just wanted to have a peace of mind for once. that’s literally my wish for 2024. i just want to be free, to have amazing friends, having a normal life, just like everyone else so i don’t have to always compare myself to people on snapchat who show off their day or shout out their friends for their birthdays. i wish i could get rid of my anxiety symptoms, because now notifications, messages (especially pending ones) and anything that shows a number next to an icon would get me really fucking nervous that it would be a harassing message. i just don’t want guys to take advantage of me, i just want a loyal and sweet first boyfriend/girlfriend that is genuinely there and physically as well as emotionally. i just feel like i’m missing out on life just because some stupid systemic ableism in the uk where i was forced to learn at home and be in a special needs class, which can explain why i’m socially awkward and don’t know how to be a normal friend.

basically saying… i just want to be happy. (i’m so sorry for the vent i didn’t expect it to be this long loooool)

Merry Christmas!! there's about 10 minutes till Christmas for me. I am so sorry that this past year has been so hard on you. And its horrible that you had to endure all of that I can't even imagine how hard it's been for you. You deserve so much better than what you've received. You deserve respect, care, love, understanding and you deserve happiness and it breaks my heart you've been treated like this by so many people. I just send you the biggest hug and I'm proud of you, I know life has been hard but I'm proud of you for continuing. And I can't promise when, but things will get better and one day before you know it you will have the happiness you want and deserve and I will always be here to listen and talk to you.

[antipolin]

“Oh please, if they weren't 'all like that' as you say, wake up and tell your pals to leave the rest of us alone? We mind our business and CRITICIZE her amongst ourselves and ya'll send us hate. I've never once seen ya'll call others out EVER. I once got told to 'slit my throat open' because I said I thought Colin was boring. Real classy of ya'll.”

I’m genuinely sorry people talked to you like that. It’s abhorrent and inexcusable.

I’m actually part of polin Twitter. I have at least 200 polin mutuals, if not more. I cannot think of a single one of them that’s condoned doxxing, but can think of dozens of us who got together and got multiple polin accounts banned in the last few months over doxxing threats and abusive language. You don’t see that side, because you’d rather vilify everyone than accept the fact that you’re screaming about a select few but passing it off as an entire fandom doing that shit. Most of us mind our own damn business. You wouldn’t know, bc you only look for information that already fits into your bias. There are going to be psychos in every corner of the internet, and the polin fandom is no exception, but you’re going out of your way to ignore or refute the fact that it’s a small portion of people. Call those assholes out individually, put their accounts on blast. I would gladly report the fuck out of them if they’re trying that shit again. That’s a way better use of a blog like this than generalized hate.

I’m genuinely sorry so many of you have had such horrible experiences and received such abusive treatment. I’m new to the fandom in the last six months, and wasn’t here for all the big shit that went down in 2021 and last fall. However, in the last six months, I know so many of my friends and mutuals who have and will go out of their way to defend against abusive language and doxxing. We don’t claim the doxxers any more than you guys do, we report and block them just the same.

I’ve interacted with some incredibly cruel, shortsighted, rude kanthonys and benophies, ones who have threatened doxxing and told me to jump off a building, but I’m not making a hate blog about their fandoms, bc I know it’s such a small portion of people, and there are so many benophies and kanthonys who are perfectly lovely. I don’t like book Benedict, but don’t spend my time telling people who like him why I think they’re wrong to. Show Benedict is great. Show pen and Colin suck, pen especially, but book pen and Colin are wonderful, and that’s what so many people are hanging onto, myself included.

I hope you find something of value in your life to pour your time and energy into, not some bullshit blog perpetuating hate and anger toward an entire group rather than holding individuals accountable or just blocking the people who bother you so god damn much! That’s what the rest of us do! Anyone who ships real people, defends doxxing, spews abusive bullshit, or goes out of their way to shit on people’s characters and ships just gets blocked, and reported if necessary to the situation. Making a blog like this is practically begging for discourse and teaming up, and none of this negativity or bullshit is worth it! Go write fic, go reread your fav’s book, talk about shit you love about it and your characters, and just straight up block anyone who rains on your parade. If they’re being abusive or threatening to doxx, put their shit on blast and we’ll report them along with the rest of you. This generalized hate is insane and exhausting and can’t be good for anyone’s mental stability.

Yeah I'm not here for this condescending and obnoxious ask. Your 'apology' isn't a real apology b/c you just spent an insane amount of time gaslighting me into acting like I'm the villain for making a blog that's only purpose is to be a safe space for people to talk about a ship where they personally won't be targeted for the nasty hate a lot of the Polin's spew at us all the time. I'm the one willing to take the brunt of that hate as opposed to others, but I'm the villain here? Fuck you.

You sit here and preach about peace, etc but you haven't seen or experienced the true nastiness from your side of the fandom to actually care why this blog is here in the first place.

'this generalized hate is insane and exhausting' I'm not generalizing anything, and if you think that. Then it probably means you're part of the problem instead of the solution.

I've had this account for less than a day and already gotten asks claiming that 'none of that happened to you', that the doxxing wasn't real, gaslighting me/us into pretending they didn't pull that shit. And I've gotten two separate asks saying they hope Simone dies & that Jonny gets AIDS.

I'll talk shit about a problematic fandom as much as I want and I'll let others have that opportunity here too if they need it. If you don't like it, block this blog or ignore it.

#anon #asks #anti Polin stans

[dividethesheepy]

late night rant. I’m ok I promise lol

I can’t grasp the idea that I’ll be ever good for someone. Its been about a year and some change now and I’m still haunted by this bs. I gave my everything into that relationship and just feel so used up and neglected and cheated out of years of my life. Like even in a pandemic, bits of me were taken away from me mentality and I held it down. But when it was the other way around I was left in the dust, spent a whole year with my Ex and her new partner. The strength it took not to do anything crazy is frightening. I have too much to lose on top of what I’ve already lost. I know its stupid to dwell on the past but its just hard sometimes. Not everyone goes through the same hardships and people take those hardships differently. Were not all built the same way, so this will be effecting me until I decide for myself my worth and get over my fears. I deserve the best but am I owed the best? No, I got to work harder and get back into life and replace the last 4 wasted years. OK no I wont say they were entirely wasted. I did learn some things and became a better adult but to endure the pain and suffering it wasn’t worth it. That person took a lot more away than they think, or choose to think... fact is they were dumb as rocks when it came to common sense. There’s talent there but they don’t see it and they feed off the person willing to provide that to them. Its stupid to think just because your ex did that to you and you were fine with it and actually enjoyed being in that situation doesn’t me I’m going to give the same mutual feeling. I was crushed, defeated, and imprisoned there were multiple times I could’ve fucked you over but decided against it, and you used it against me. You knew I would never do it, you took the genuine person in me and manipulated it and then when it came to you in the same situation you took the first chance you took. That’s fucked up, and I hope more karma comes your way.

Call it what you want, I am disgruntled, I am envious, I am vengeful, I hold grudges, IDC that’s me, that’s who I am. Doesn’t matter how many times you think you did nothing wrong, and choose to believe that you’re some nice person who cares about your friends. You can keep neglecting all I’ve done for you by putting him on a pedestal like he was your savior. Things you wanted and got vs things I wanted and never got. I still have all the letters you gave me and it hurts reading them because they are all lies to me now. How can one put so much heart into it and then poof do more and present more to the new guy than what you’ve done for me. All fake yooo that’s who you really are. You can choose to believe whatever your little mind tells you but in reality you’re a cold hearted bitch. 

I’m sorry I got to stop looking a social media, small shit really triggers me and look I wrote a lot just now. Had to just relive some steam. I’m playing two people now when it comes to that person. I’m a friend online but in real life you anything, just somebody I use to know... yeah I know Goyte pun lol.

I miss my cat so much too, she got to keep the cat in the divorce... fucking cunt. It sucked too cuz I think she favored her more than me because she spent the most time with her than me cuz I always worked. I always made time that I could provide but it wasn’t enough, she always wanted to be with her even though she neglected her most of the time lol. Now on twitter I just retweet cat photos or videos cuz thats how much I miss that fucking bitch lol.

I’m really a complexed person I would go to bat for someone or ask if they need something or is something is wrong but could never get the same. And I don’t like to ask for that treatment back, I’m very prideful and stubborn but damn my mental be hurting a lot. Like I've never lived alone in my life but since last year it really does feel like I live alone. I’m never here I’m always working I barely see anyone. The one person I actually called and want to call is gone now so its just empty feelings now. It pains me because I feel like I had all that time to actually be with my mom and didn’t grasp it because I made other obligations to others. Now that its reverse she isn’t available and I’ve wasted all that precious time. Its going to hurt for a long time, Christmas was horrible, New Years was devastating, I called my stepdad on his birthday because my mom would always text me to call him and I didn’t get one this year but I remember it clear as day because she never made me forget it lol. 

I miss my mom everyday, and I keep hearing her voice hella randomly and it just hurts that I won’t hear anything else from her. That day was probably the worse day of my life, the pain I endured that day was so heartbreaking. I appreciate everyone I called and comforted me during that dark time. Always take the time to talk to your parents even if you're hella busy you step right the fuck out and you answer that call because you never know if that would be the last time you talk/see them ever again. Cherish every moment because they can just poof.

In the end the only thing I got out of the last 4 years was loss and an estimated 12,000 closet. My dog, My cat, My relationship and my mom all in a year and 55 pairs of shoes because it fills the hole in me from those losses. 

Honestly I feel much better just typing this all out. fuck a diary RETURN OF TUMBLR lol.

[makingqueerhistory]

Wanted to talk something that has been really bothering me for a while. (tw for exclusionism)

When I was first introduced to the online queer community, I was 13 and just starting to be happy in my sexuality. (What I ID'd as then is not the same as now but still.) It was genuinely such a RELIEF to go online and see people joking about bi culture and frogs and stuff, it made me feel normal while living in a country that is still very behind on any queer rights. But over the years I've developed a kind of... bitterness about the whole thing. The same posts about Gay Culture now kind of feel like the people who made them wouldn't consider me as a valid queer person. I'm nonbinary but I don't want to medically transition, I'm aromantic and asexual, and I also have a personality disorder. I know the last one isn't related to queerness but it has a very complicated relationship with my aroace identity. So it's really tiring to go online everyday and see posts like "We shouldn't exclude aroaces and they are valid because they can still feel empathy!! so they're not complete monsters!!" But here's the thing: I don't. And it's just so tiring to see the same example of a Quintessential Gay person over and over again that's just Tiltok User Who Is Skinny, White, And Has A Mullet. No hate to those people and I know that's how they want to present and it makes them happy, but I kind of just feel like the very things that used to give me so much comfort when I identified as Finger Guns Rolled Up Jeans Bisexual are exactly the ones alienating me now. To the point where I don't even want to tell people that I'm queer anymore. I remember that one twitter post that said "I'm leaving the LGBTQ Community ✌️" and it was funny and ridiculous when I first saw it but now... oof.

Not sure what the point of this Very Long ask (sorry!) was but I just wanted to see if anyone else feels the same. Whenever I attend a queer event online I feel like The Imposter In The Vents. I am certain of my identity, happy in it, but kind of just developed a sense of mistrust for any queer person I meet online. Does that make sense? I don't want to be a Valid And Sufficiently Oppressed Part Of Communities anymore, just want to exist

This makes complete sense and is something I have thought of often actually. There is this discussion that has been started by queer people of colour, asking what we define as "queer culture" and if what we understand as "queer culture" is simply a culture that has been sieved and shaken hard enough to remove all of the truly challenging and less privileged narratives. This is a discussion I have largely watched from the sidelines, as it is being led by queer people of colour, but I think it is relevant to bring up now.

I think, largely due to the internet, there is this drive to have one clear understanding of the queer community. This drive has led to solidarity, questioning long-held beliefs, and truly fascinating conversations, but it has also, unfortunately, led to exclusion, Neocolonialism, and confusion for a lot of people, because here is the rub, queerness is often the opposite of clarity.

This is confusing because early on in our experiences with queerness, there are often these bites of clarity. When we first understand the whole of our identity, when we see the beautiful untold history that has led us to where we are, when we meet another person who is like us. For a beautiful moment, things are clear and connected, but the moment passes. I don't think the moment will ever go away, but it becomes scarce, especially if we are looking for it in the same places.

Queerness is a thread of connection, and when you pull you find yourself tied to some of the most incredible, complicated, and fascinating people. You will also find yourself tied to people who sorta suck. But just because you share community with these people, doesn't mean they have to be your community. You get the privilege, due to the abundance that has been hard-won by our queer ancestors, to think some of these people are awful and choose not to hang out with them. Congratulations!

There is A Queer Community, an amalgamation of tradition, rebellion, love, and diversity that likely looks a lot different than what some of us think when we think queer community. The reason for the difference is because there is also your queer community, which you have to build yourself through the people and stories you find throughout your life. So many people get one confused for the other, and a lot of damage can be done that way.

I suppose you weren't looking for advice, but here it is anyway: build your queer community intentionally and accept The Queer Community as a flawed but overall beautiful pool to draw from in the creation of your community.

#answered #I hope this makes sense

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x gn!reader #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap drabble #sapnap oneshot #bubblyhoneyfics #honey answers #mcyt x reader #🥚except small