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cupidjyu · 8 months

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the sweetener you are

hyunjae x reader (idea from the anon who requested childhood friends to lovers!)

summary: when a mysterious man moves into the apartment next door, you realize that he’s your childhood best friend who’s disappeared for years. he changed, his life seeming to have soured. but you could just be his sweetener, the one to make him smile again

genre: best friends to lovers, and boy-next-door sorta thing, hurt/comfort for him because he deserves the world, nightmares, healing, one bed trope, youre forced to move in with him hahaha am i evil, back hugs, he acts "drunk" when tired (dont ask why, it was just an excuse to write him being clingy), hes flirty ish and teasing, hes shirtless for like one second (BECAUSE.), sleepy love confessions, kissing, is there tension? i can't tell myself, “sweetheart” good god notes: school started so expect much much less after this... so see you in a bit 🥲🥲but hope u enjoy!!! this is literally just yumi who needs to stop writing long interpretations of their love for hyunjae in the form of fics + song inspo! word count: 12.7k

You coughed. You choked. And then you glared straight at Younghoon who was staring back in complete alarm. Setting the unfinished glass down on the counter with a loud clink, you clenched your jaw with unspoken curse words that threatened to escape your lips.

“This tastes like dirt,” You garbled out. Rushing over to one of your cupboards, you pulled out one of those small sugar packets that you liked to swipe from those cute coffee shops. If it was free, why not take a few? Ripping the paper open, you poured it into the drink that didn’t even look like it belonged on this planet. It was both… green and yellowish-blue at the same time.

Younghoon gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth dramatically. “That’s not healthy!”

“But it tastes so bad,” You whined. “It needs a sweetener.”

He glared, dragging his hand all the way down his jaw in an unattractive way. “It’s an herbal drink. It’s meant to taste bad. Think of all the health benefits you could’ve gotten out of that without the sugar.”

“You made this?” You scrunched up your face in disgust.

“No, I–” He laughed nervously. “My mom did. I promised her I would finish it.”

You narrowed your eyes. “And you couldn’t because it tasted so bad. So you’re making me finish it.”

He gave you a pained smile as he stepped away. “I– who said that?”

“Why’re we even friends?” You questioned before jabbing a finger at the door. “Get out.”

Younghoon pouted but he eventually obliged, opening the apartment door. “You still owe me money for that overpriced tiny piece of cake by the way.”

“It tasted good!” You shot back.

“It did not.” He sighed. “It’s just you with your horrible sweet tooth. Don’t even– hey…” You noticed him peeking out of your door and into the hallway. And then he leaned back in, searching your face with wonder. “Someone’s moving in next door.”

You brightened with interest at that, practically jumping off where you were sitting on the kitchen counter. Bounding over to the door, you poked your head out under Younghoon’s, just like they did in the cartoons. Squinting your eyes, all you could see was a tall man with a cap on that covered most of his face.

“Who’s that?” Younghoon said, slightly too loud for your liking.

With a groan, you elbowed him in the ribs. “Shh…how would I know? Though... he does look better than that old dude who constantly yelled at those courtroom TV shows like he was the judge.” It was like the apartment next to yours was cursed. Magic wasn’t real here. Or at least, in this world. But you still believed that a witch had strolled by and casually placed a hex on Apt 245 for the fun of it. For the time that you’ve been here, you’ve seen about five people move in there. And they were never happy.

Once, there were two parents who had to deal with multiple children who would not stop crying. You hadn’t slept a wink the whole time they were there. They did receive a noise complaint though. Another time, there was a teenager who couldn’t even properly pay off the rent. He didn’t have a job. But he could somehow afford the loudest speaker where he would play the most gut-wrenching, saddest music ever. He got evicted.

But this man… well–he looked decent. Really. No evident curse here. Or at least, yet. When he turned around, you could see that he was very tall and… broad. Apparently, that was the first thing you noticed. He also seemed to pick up the moving boxes with ease and when he had stepped just the slightest to the side, you could see the impossibly perfect slope of his nose. Also a very odd thing to notice.

Younghoon grasped your arm, pulling you back into your own apartment.

“Don’t fall in love.”

You gaped at him. “What? I don’t even know who he is.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But he’s tall. And broad. And has a nice nose. I know you. I know your type.”

Shit.

“You do know me,” You mumbled sheepishly. “But still!” You poked him harshly. “I won’t fall in love. I probably won’t even see him for like– a month. Or he’s going to be cursed and moved out like the others. Don’t worry.”

Your friend narrowed his eyes in skepticism but he eventually nodded. “As long as you don’t bump into him tomorrow or something.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Of course. I won’t fall in love.”

You didn’t fall in love. You fell onto the floor.

And you also happened to bump into him the next day ironically enough.

If only—if only—you decided to pick up your mail yesterday like you were supposed to, this wouldn’t have happened. And by this, you meant being distracted by a cup that rolled out of your new neighbor’s door and then walking straight into his chest.

You squeaked in horror. “I’m sorry!” And then you stepped backwards, tripped on your badly-timed untied shoelace, and ended up on the floor in the middle of the hallway.

When you looked up, there was a pretty hand that reached out to help you up. Taking it with burning cheeks, you could finally see what this man looked like up close and without a cap.

And you would have expected maybe one of those boy-next-door romantic moments where you would fall into his arms and start dating the next day. Oh, and also kiss and eventually get married. But no, you—

“Hyunjae?”

The man—Hyunjae—gaped at you with comically wide eyes.

“Y/n,” He breathed out.

As long-lost childhood friends, the most sensible thing to do was ask how he was. But you often defied expectations, positively or negatively, and so instead you lunged forward, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him into a tight hug.

Hyunjae, whom you’ve known since you were just young kids, has been your best friend for as long as you could remember. He used to be on the elementary school track team while you… were on the bleachers trying to tell the difference between subtraction and addition. But luckily, Hyunjae was both a smart and kind kid and so he had stopped in the middle of his running to sit with you and teach what your teacher couldn’t do properly.

He was always one year older, always more mature and experienced. But he tended to throw that away just for you and join in on playing games with you when he should’ve been studying for an exam. But he did so to cheer you up. He was sweet like that and you adored spending your afternoons after school with him.

The two of you even got to experience those dreadful high school years together, except there was always that haunting realization—that he would eventually graduate first. But he always reassured you.

“It’s just one year, silly,” He joked, pulling you into a side hug, one that perfectly portrayed his understanding of your worries. “I’ll text and call you all the time. Promise.”

Promises were often broken and this wasn’t any different. For when he had left for college, he never contacted you ever again. You had tried to reach out, but he never responded. And so, for your whole college term, you never saw Lee Hyunjae, your supposed “best friend,” ever again.

And you should have been mad—no, furious to see him again. You should have pushed him away and went on with your life while skillfully avoiding him. But just the simple sight of him brought back all those fond memories–baking cupcakes, falling asleep together just after screaming over a horror movie, holding each other when life just gets too much... And so you found yourself buried into his chest, holding him tightly.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered again, shutting your eyes in both contentment and fear of him pushing you away again.

But you felt two hands snake around your middle, hugging you back. There were a million questions running through your mind at that moment, wondering why he had disappeared but welcomed you so easily. But you set them aside, choosing to just melt into his still familiar embrace.

Finally though, you managed to pull away, looking at him with a fond smile. He smiled back. He had grown even more handsome than before. He managed to become taller, broader, and more charming all at once. His features were sharp, more mature. Something about him–the way he was dressed in a literal suit–really portrayed to you that he really was an adult now, as opposed to the teenager who procrastinated on science projects.

“How are you?” He smiled, almost too polite for your liking. You could see the way he stood, awkwardly and with fidgeting hands. And that was when it all hit you like a truck.

Your eyebrows suddenly furrowed, your lips pulled into a scowl, and your eyes narrowed as you stepped forward. “How am I? No. How could you–” You banged a fist on his firm chest. “–leave me–” Another punch. “–like that–” He stepped back in growing alarm. “–and act all polite and uneasy as if we weren’t best friends for years?” Both of your fists lingered on his chest, your strength growing weak from frustration.

“Y/n, I–” He winced.

“Actually, I hate you.” You glared. But your words differentiated from your actions when your hand came to smooth down his crumpled tie. “I don’t want to see you ever again. You’re an absolute asshole and I–” But your eyes met with his, his gaze amused and soft. And then you sniffled, looking down at the ground, the urge to cry suddenly overcoming you.

Hyunjae laughed quietly. “I’m sorry. If you would allow me to explain?”

“Great,” You grumbled. “Then do so. Since you’ve owed me an explanation after all these years.”

He glanced at his watch. “I have work. Tomorrow, maybe? Trust me.”

You looked at him in bewilderment. “Work? But you haven’t even unpacked yet.” You eyed his apartment with the door open. There were multiple boxes strewn about, some not even open yet.

“Emergencies,” He sighed. That was when you noticed just how exhausted he looked. “I have to go.”

“Oh,” You stuttered. “Okay. I– good luck?”

Hyunjae smiled, pinching your cheek just like he had done all those years ago. He seemed to be completely unfazed over the fact that you just punched him in anger. “Thank you.” And he was locking the door behind him and heading for the elevator. But just as he was walking away, you felt the need to call something out. Just a few words.

“Hyunjae?” You said.

He turned around, tilting his head. You never knew just how well work attire suited him. He looked almost… attractive. But god, what were you thinking?

“I missed you.”

He smiled but he never quite gave you a response as the elevator ding had interrupted him. Instead, he just gave you a small wave.

It was odd. Awkward. But one step at a time, you figured. It’s been years after all.

The next day, as promised, he had shown up to your door. This time, since it was the weekend, he was wearing a simple white shirt. One that still never failed to accentuate his broad shoulders.

But initially, you thought it was Younghoon and not a guy who you haven’t seen for multiple years. So you may or may not have opened the door with your hair like a bird’s nest and your sleepwear on that… wasn’t meant for the general public to see. Apparently, Hyunjae fits in the general public category now. Best friend? No, you hate him.

Kind of.

Not really.

Stumbling to the door, you flung it open, your eyes barely open. Immediately, you were met with the sight of just. Long legs. Not very helpful.

“Who–” And then you looked up, only to meet Hyunjae’s eyes. Choking on your spit, you straightened up. “Hello,” You blurted out in a monotone voice.

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his chin down with amusement. “And who’s the uneasy one now?”

“Sorry, I…” Your eyes trailed down to what you were wearing. With an internal gasp, you stepped backward. “I’m going to– change.”

He widened his eyes and then his gaze also traveled down. His cheeks were oddly red and he cleared his throat, looking away.

You cringed and shut the door in his face before he could even say anything.

Now in proper clothes that were for the general public, you opened the door again. He was still standing there with that same smile. The same kind, caring one he always regarded you with even when you were just kids.

“Where should we talk?” You asked.

His eyes glanced over to his own door. “My place?” He offered quietly. “I have unpacking to do.”

You stared at him silently. And then you nodded with an excited smile. “I can help.”

“Oh no,” He laughed softly. “You don’t have to. I’m fine on my–”

“You don’t look fine,” You interrupted. And without thinking, your hand came up to cup his cheek, turning him to face you. “You look tired.”

He stared at you wordlessly before sighing. “I guess I am.”

“So let me help.” You grinned. “I’m using my vacation days from work right now anyway.”

He could only mutter a shy “okay” as he opened the door for you to enter. Looking around, you found that the only things that he had unpacked lacked much of any personality. He took out the necessities and a bunch of… work. Papers, a computer, work suits and the like.

“You seem busy,” You remarked as you walked over to the box labeled “decorations” only for there to literally be one single plant that looked like it needed to be watered. In fact, it was on the brink of death. Immediately, your face was contorting in worry and you turned to where he was just standing at the entrance with an embarrassed expression. “What… happened to your initial dream?”

He approached you and peered into the box. “What dream?”

“The one where you wanted to have a place full of pretty plants.”

“Yeah well,” He laughed bitterly. “Circumstances change aspirations.”

You gulped nervously at his change of tone. Something was bothering him. Something, in particular, caused him to move here. You led him to the couch and sat next to him.

“So what is it? Why did you cut everyone off and– disappear?” You asked cautiously.

He looked at you for a long minute like he was trying to figure out a response for himself. And finally, he just sighed in defeat.

“Problems.”

“Like what?” You prodded.

“A lot. And I wouldn’t want to lay them all on you.” He gave you a weak smile. You regarded him with a soft look in your eyes, searching his face for any sort of answer. All you could see was a flame that had long been put out.

“Then tell me one.”

“One?” He bit his lip nervously. “One…”

“Just one,” You said gently.

“Like the one where the place I used to work at didn’t treat me right? That they refused to give me anything?” He mumbled, his voice trailing off with embarrassment. “So I moved here so that I could get away? That one?”

You froze at his words. You processed them and that was when it began to make sense. He wasn’t going to work yesterday. He was going to an interview. His computer was open to job openings and the papers weren’t reports. They were resumes.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered. But he was already distancing himself, standing up from the couch. You gazed at him with concern as you stood up, only for him to take a step backward.

“Why are you…” You frowned. “It’s okay, you know. Did you think I would look at you any differently?”

His jaw clenched. “Well, I did cut you off because I didn’t want to worry you. You always told me I would be successful, the best. So how exactly could I face you after they…”

“That’s not your fault. And I’m sorry for putting that on you,” You mustered, stepping closer. This time, he didn’t step away. He allowed you to do anything. He let you trail a hand down to his wrist, holding it gently. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me more. I’m sorry.”

He watched you with slight surprise, and with his lips pulled into a straight line, he whispered a small, “I should be the one who’s sorry.”

You shook your head with a smile. “Don’t be.”

He stayed silent at that, simply studying your features. You could tell he still wanted to apologize. But then the corner of his lips lifted slightly. “You grew up.” His tone was gentle, so kind, just like you’ve always known. It was a little quieter than before though, more closed off as if he was afraid–scared of what you would think of him.

You laughed bashfully. “And so did you.” Your hand trailed up to his shoulder. “Did you start working out?”

He smirked. “Why, do you like my progress?”

You snorted. “Could improve.”

He scoffed yet he only looked at you with fondness. The two of you simply stood there, in the midst of his empty apartment, just staring at each other. And then you giggled. He laughed as well before reaching forward and pulling you into his arms, squeezing you so tight that you felt the air leave your lungs.

“Ah–” You choked. “Hyunjae. You’re killing me.”

“I’m showing you my newfound strength,” He joked, stepping away. You were about to refute but instead, you felt your gaze wandering to his arms. Since when were they so toned and–

“Very funny,” You weakly replied. Escaping from his persisting soft gaze, you stepped away and approached the various boxes. “What can I help you with?”

Hyunjae didn’t have much. Apparently, all those large boxes contained about three small things.

“I overestimated,” He replied with a sheepish smile when you asked.

Most of his things were put away yet when you looked around, the apartment was void of any joy or charm. The only boxes that were left were his clothes which he claimed he could do another day. After putting away his single cup and plate–that’s all he had apparently–you turned around only to see that he was crouched, bending towards that same plant that you pointed out. Its leaves were drooping and the stem wilting, as his fingers gently prodded at it. When you looked closely, you could see a melancholy look on his face, a small frown tugging on his lips.

It was true, that Hyunjae had many dreams when he was younger. That was normal for many people. But to witness it all dissipate before your sight, no sign of light behind his eyes, you couldn’t help but feel your heart clench.

Walking over, you crouched down next to him. He gave you a forced smile.

“Kind of sad,” He remarked with a disappointed sigh. “I bought it only for me to fail to take care of it.”

“You can always buy another one.”

“Mhm,” He hummed dully. “Sure.”

You watched him wordlessly, observing the way his gaze fell when one of the leaves broke off. Shaking your head, you suddenly stood up.

“Let’s go out.”

He looked up at you in surprise. “What?”

“I’ll be your tour guide of the town,” You joked. “I know everything.”

Standing up with you, he stole a glance at his phone. “I can’t.”

“Why?” You pouted.

“I’m waiting for my result from the interview.”

You sighed and took his wrist in yours, pulling him to the door. “You need to get your mind off that for a second.”

“But–”

“Please?” You looked up at him, even batting your eyelashes. “Just for a moment?” You also exaggerated a pout.

He blinked in shock, his eyes trailing over your expression. “What are you doing?”

“Making you feel bad. Is it working?” You held back a grin.

He huffed out a laugh. “Definitely. Fine, just for a moment.”

You grinned and you were already pulling on your shoes and bounding out the door, leaving Hyunjae to smile to himself.

“This is a convenience store.” You pointed at it with a bright smile.

He rolled his eyes. “I know what a convenience store is.”

You laughed and led him to the next block before abruptly stopping. “This is the karaoke bar,” You said, pointing at the nearby building.

“Fun,” He muttered.

“We should go one day.” You smiled. “Actually no.” You scowled. “I got drunk there once and I think they banned me because I was dancing on the tables.”

Hyunjae turned to you in slight shock. “You? Drunk?”

“What?” You widened your eyes in surprise. “What is it?”

“I just… you always said that you hated the taste of alcohol,” He replied in wonder.

“Times change.” You grinned, nudging his shoulder. He gave you a small smile back.

Then, you led him to your favorite spot. The central park in the middle of town. It was a beautiful day out, the sky bright and blue. You loved to sit at one of the benches, watching birds fly by or kids play happily on the playground.

“Wait here.” You patted the seat. And then you were running off, nowhere to be seen. Hyunjae simply sat there, observing the calm atmosphere. When you came back, you were holding a stick of cotton candy in your hand. It was large, almost covering your whole face. Hyunjae chuckled, taking it from you so you wouldn’t trip on the ground.

“Aren’t we too old for this?” He questioned.

You shook your head. “I still love it.”

He took a bite and turned to look at you with furrowed eyebrows. “It’s so sweet.”

“That’s why it’s good!” You stared at him like he was the craziest man alive.

“It’s because you’ve always had a sweet tooth.” He frowned, gently placing it back in your hands.

“Fine,” You scoffed. “If that’s how you treat your best friend.” And you were taking a bite on the opposite side. When you pulled it away from your face, you were startled by a loud laugh. From Hyunjae, specifically. Turning to him with wide eyes, you could even see him smiling.

It was not like the other smiles that you’ve seen so far. Those ones were small, lacking much of any emotion. But this one was wide, full with amusement and happiness.

“Wha– oh,” You huffed, realizing that there was cotton candy on your nose. Hyunjae laughed even louder and suddenly he was leaning in to gently wipe it off with his finger.

“Cutie,” He whispered fondly, his other hand gently cupping the side of your face.

Your heart stuttered at the word. “Wh-what?”

He gulped, pulling away like he was burned. “Oh, I…”

You quickly recovered, instead scooching even closer to him so that your shoulders were touching. “You think I’m cute? Even when I’m all grown up?”

“Always.”

“I missed your smile,” You stated as the two of you were walking back to the apartment complex.

You had expected him to point out that he had smiled other times before. But instead, he gazed at you with soft eyes.

“I did too. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so happy,” He said. “All thanks to you.”

“Of course!” You beamed, looping an arm with his before pulling him closer. “You can always count on me.”

He didn’t respond this time. But his expression said it all. Thank you, thank you, thank you, was all you could see in his dark brown eyes. Smiling, you bumped your body playfully against his.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” You asked.

Again, you found yourself in his apartment the next day. Apparently, he had just gotten back from running and he needed to take a shower. So, you were looking through his boxes full of clothes. You sorted through them, folding them until you came across a hoodie. You didn’t recognize it, but the fabric of it was so… soft and warm. Your hands held onto it, contemplating what it would feel like if you just–

The door to the bathroom creaked open. You gasped and shoved it behind you, greatly hoping that he didn’t notice you staring at it longingly. But alas, you just had to have slow reflexes at this moment.

“Do you like it?” He asked. “Put it on.”

You laughed awkwardly, turning to face him, only for your protests to come stuttering to a stop. Your eyes trailed down from his damp hair to his… whole torso. His bare torso. He was shirtless. Right out of the shower, water droplets sitting prettily on his collarbones, traveling all the way down to his chest and his– he definitely works out.

“Oh,” You breathed out, your cheeks flushing red as you frantically looked away. This was not how you expected to reunite with your best friend after so long.

“Sorry,” He replied, his voice low. “My shirt’s in there.”

You nodded, refusing to look up. It was quiet for a moment, too quiet that you contemplated just shoving his clothes into his hands while dutifully avoiding the sight of his bare chest.

But then he was right beside you and he smelled so, so good as he leaned over you, his hand gently grasping your waist. To take a shirt. Very unnecessary but it still left you inhaling sharply. Feeling yourself go dizzy as you stood there, eyes trained on the ground, and every single muscle in all of human anatomy completely rigid until you were sure he was properly dressed.

Taking a peek, you were met with his teasing smile.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes,” You mustered.

“You were staring weren’t you?” He leaned even closer, his eyes searching yours with amusement. His hand gently lifted your chin up, making you swallow thickly at the way he was gazing at you with a small smirk.

“I wasn’t,” You whispered shakily.

“Hm,” He hummed. “You look a little flushed though.”

“It was nothing,” You shoved him away, feeling like your face was on fire. “You shouldn’t just walk around like that. It’s…”

“Mhm.” He only continued to smile wider. “Whatever you say.”

You groaned, abruptly turning away to hide your reddening cheeks. But then your eyes landed back on that same hoodie.

“I know that look on your face,” He teased, picking it up. “You like it.”

“I don’t.”

“Okay,” He simply replied, shrugging and turning around. You were just about to question his suspiciously short response when out of nowhere, he whipped back around and pulled the hoodie over you. Immediately, you were encompassed in warmth and– did he always smell this good? And why was he staring at you so softly with that stupid fond smile and why was your heart beating a mile a minute and–

“Hyunjae,” You groaned. “What was that for?”

But he stayed silent, simply examining you wearing his clothes. You tilted your head.

“Do I look good?”

His breath hitched and now it was him with reddening cheeks as he backed away. You stifled a laugh as you stepped forward, cornering him against the edge of the kitchen counter.

“And I know that look on your face,” You teased back. “You like it.”

His eyes fluttered, almost like he was fighting the urge to look over your body once again. He inhaled deeply and then he straightened, leaning over you this time. With a subtle smile, he whispered something that left shivers down your spine.

“I love it.”

Oh my god. You treaded backwards, suddenly feeling conscious of everything. His eyes on you–all over you–the way the shirt clung to his body, the rushing thought of the fact that you saw him without it on just a few minutes ago–everything came over you like a bucket of ice water.

“I–” With wide eyes, he only continued to approach you, the scent of his shampoo overcoming you quickly. You couldn’t come up with a comeback anymore. At first, you thought that this was just friendly banter, the type that you guys would do in the school cafeteria. But this–this was something different. With the way he was looking at you with darkening eyes, you weren’t quite sure this was that “friendly banter” thing anymore.

“Shut up,” You blurted out as you pulled the hoodie off you and thrust it into his chest.

“Why?” He grinned. “I like this game.”

You raised your eyebrows. “What game is this exactly?”

“The game of making the other person flustered.”

You stood there for a moment, thinking. You couldn’t quite come up with a verbal comeback. So you could instead…

Taking a step forward, you hooked a hand around the back of his neck, letting your touch linger there for a moment. A stuttering breath was caught thickly in his throat as he looked down at you in bafflement.

And then you let your fingertips trail around, down his neck, across his collarbone, slightly pulling down the hem of his shirt and stopping just at his chest where you could feel his heart thump erratically.

Your trace on his skin left sparks flying in your heart and when you had looked up, you knew that Hyunjae was experiencing the same thing.

He was looking down at you, completely speechless and his eyes round in shock. You smiled in triumph, leaning close to one of his reddening ears.

“Then I win.”

And you were heading for the door. But just as you turned around, you could see Hyunjae who was still leaning against the counter, cheeks now red as he stared down at the ground. You giggled, closing the door behind you.

The next time you saw Hyunjae, unsurprisingly, he looked exhausted again. In fact, he didn’t even recognize you at first with how he was gazing off into space rather than unlocking his own door.

“Come over tonight,” You offered.

He raised an eyebrow. “To do what?”

You choked. “Not that. Movie night!” You winked, patting his shoulder before leaving for the grocery store. You made sure to mentally add popcorn to your list.

And so, when it was pitch dark at night, you had opened your door to Hyunjae, fidgeting nervously at the entrance. You laughed, grabbing his wrist and pulling him in.

“Don’t be nervous.” You grinned. “It’s just me.”

As you set up the movie, you couldn’t help but notice Hyunjae looking around your apartment. He seemed to be taking in all of your decorations, and the fact that you had more than one cup and plate. You smiled.

“We can go shopping if you want,” You spoke up. “For your apartment.”

He glanced at you in shock. But he eventually nodded with a small smile, that same one you noticed that he often forced when he was tired and down.

Now sitting on the couch, side-by-side but never quite touching, the two of you watched a movie. It was a comfortable silence and whenever you would glance at Hyunjae, he would notice and turn his attention back to you. And every time you would make eye contact, you made sure to give him a bright smile, one that showed him that “I’m always here for you.”

"Staring?" He teased.

"In fact I am," You replied. "Forget the movie, you're the award-winning feature."

He laughed again. The same bright one at the park.

"I didn't take you to be such a flirter," He remarked.

"I'm not," You refuted. "You really are amazing."

He gave you a smile that wasn't so convincing. "If you say so."

Near the resolution of the film, you found yourself scooching over to him, letting your shoulders touch. But that wasn’t exactly enough, so you lifted his arm so that you could rest your head on his chest, his body warmth easily spreading to yours.

“What are you doing?” He muttered.

For a second, you thought he might actually be annoyed. But, when you looked up, you could see his softening eyes and the slight blush on his cheeks. You huffed in amusement and you only persisted, snuggling close to his chest. Eventually, he gave up on the whole tough act and he let his arm wrap around you, rubbing your arm in up-and-down motions.

You didn’t notice that you had fallen asleep.

Though you did briefly remember two… moments. One of them was him cautiously bringing you to your bed. The other being a warm hand softly caressing your cheek.

You woke up alone. Good! Who else did you expect? Rubbing your eyes, there was a constant sound ringing in your ears. The doorbell, you groaned. Stumbling to the door, you were hoping maybe… Hyunjae? But instead, it was your landlord. You furrowed your eyebrows in concern.

She sighed, shaking her head.

“Bad news.”

When it was Hyunjae this time who had invited you over, you were pleasantly surprised. Opening the door, you could see him sitting at the table, staring intently at his computer.

Tilting your head, you were about to ask what he was looking at. But then he suddenly jumped up, the chair almost falling over. There was a bright smile on his face as he rushed over to you.

“Hyunjae?” You looked at him in confusion.

“I got the job,” He exclaimed. “I got it.”

“You did?” You gasped. “That’s so– that’s amazing! Congratul–” You inhaled sharply when you felt two hands grasp onto your waist. And suddenly, your whole world shifted once you realized that he was literally picking you up and twirling you around. You laughed shyly as you allowed him to, watching fondly at the way he smiled so, so freely.

Once he had slowed down, there was an impending thought in the back of your mind that appeared from all of the adrenaline. He could put you down and you could lean in and maybe… maybe– press your lips to his as an extra cheer. Mentally slapping yourself, you felt your cheeks grow hot. Again, what were you thinking?

His hands were still on your waist, the both of you out of breath. You smiled, giggling softly. He smiled back, his eyes bright and sparkling.

“I’m proud of you,” You finally said.

“It’s all thanks to you,” He replied.

“Hm, well,” You huffed. “Guess who lost their apartment.”

He gaped at you. “What?”

“Not permanently,” You groaned. “But there’s been a technical problem that has to be investigated and fixed. So I can’t stay there for the meantime.”

He looked at you, deep in thought. And then his hands tightened on your waist. “Then stay here with me.”

Now it was your turn to gawk at him. “What?”

“Please.” He smiled. “I owe you.”

You blushed. “I didn’t do much.”

“You did.” He walked forward, nearly caging you against the wall. “Everything. You’ve helped me get this job.” Another step forward. “I’m indebted to you.”

“H-hyunjae,” You stuttered, trying your best to avoid stealing a glance at his lips.

“Just temporarily.”

You made a mental pro and con list. Pros–He was your childhood best friend meaning that he knew you best. Cons–what if things changed? What if you… fell? And you didn’t mean physically.

With a hesitant sigh in defeat, you responded quietly.

“Temporarily.”

When you and Hyunjae had art class together, you learned a little bit more about him. He was always the one who enjoyed the sketching, the outlining with the black pen, and shading in grey. You, on the other hand, were the one who would color in between those lines with vibrant colors, brightening the picture into something truly complete.

That was how you complimented each other. People often painted him out to be cold and blunt, but you always saw past that. It was always you who thought that he was the sweetest person you’ve ever met–the one who took care of you when you were sick and who pulled you away from passing cars.

Just like one of those art projects, you began to liven up his apartment with your own things. Of course, you didn’t bring everything, but the simple pieces of your toothbrush next to his and your coat hung up on the rack, were enough to make the puzzle feel just complete.

Soon enough, the evening came which brought the dilemma of where you would sleep.

“The couch,” Hyunjae spoke up, walking out of the bathroom again, with damp hair. But at least he was fully clothed this time. Still, that vision was practically ingrained into your mind.

“You’re right.” You nodded in agreement. “I’ll–”

“Not you,” He huffed. “Me.”

“Oh,” You breathed out. Abruptly you stood up in defiance. “No!” You blurted out. “That’s rude.”

He looked at you entirely unimpressed. “I’m being a good host. A gentleman.”

“Exactly.” You scowled. “You’re going to make me feel like I’m intruding. And look who invited me in the first place?”

He sighed, glancing at the bedroom door. “There’s only one bed.”

“Then we’ll share,” You replied, completely sure of yourself. Hyunjae didn’t respond so you lifted your chin high and walked past him and into the bedroom as odd as it may sound. However, in the corner of your eye, you could see that his ears were slightly red.

You may have underestimated the sheer awkwardness. Just a bit. Maybe a lot.

The two of you stood on either side of the bed, facing each other, contemplating the fact that this would be the first time you would be sleeping together. Actually, it wasn’t really awkward per se. It was more… hilarious. You pursed your lips, trying to stifle your laughter, while Hyunjae’s cheeks were puffed out in embarrassment.

Again, as the bolder one, you climbed under the sheets first. Still, Hyunjae was just standing, hesitating. You squinted up at him through the darkness.

Even under the dim lighting, you could see that his cheeks were incredibly flushed.

“I think I’ll just go back to the–” He couldn’t even finish his sentence because you were grabbing onto his hand and pulling him down into bed. He didn’t really protest though as you could sense him slowly melting into the warmth of it.

The lamp was off now and you were both succumbed to darkness. It was silent, only the sound of Hyunjae’s calm breathing. You weren’t exactly tired right now. You knew that it would take you a while to fall asleep. But that was fine! You would just wait until he fell asleep first.

Except, when you turned on your side to face him, you could see him staring back, big, round doe eyes on you. So, scratch that. And now you were cold which you weren’t used to. Your apartment was usually the perfect temperature, but this one left you shivering all over.

Unconsciously, you began to shift closer to his body. He’s always been the warm one. That used to be your strategy to not freeze to death when the two of you would walk down the winter festival together.

Suddenly though, you felt an arm across your waist and steady breathing on the side of your neck.

“Hm?” You hummed in confusion, wondering if the chest against your shoulder was just a hallucination.

But then he replied in a quiet, lower voice.

“Is this okay?” He whispered.

Oh, this was more than okay. You were familiar with his embrace. But to feel it just moments before you fell asleep brought a sudden bout of tranquility.

“Perfect.” You smiled to yourself, curling up to his body in which he held you closer in response. It was warm, comforting, just perfect. It didn’t take you a while to fall asleep anymore.

When you awoke, you were slightly—no, very confused about why it was still dark out. You were pretty sure the room should be bright with natural light from the sun. Or maybe you’ve just gone crazy. But that was when you glanced at the time. It was still the middle of the night.

When you turned to your side, that was also when you realized that it was Hyunjae who had woken you up. Unknowingly at that. His arm was still around your waist but this time, his hold was almost painfully tight. If you looked closely, you could see that his eyes were screwed shut, his eyebrows twitching with small stuttering breaths escaping him.

But, you’ve always heard the saying that you weren’t supposed to wake someone up from a nightmare. So you hesitated, keeping your hands close to yourself, worriedly watching. At some point, he jolted awake by himself.

Now, his breathing was even faster and he had shot up, looking around frantically. Blinking your eyes sleepily, you turned on the nearby light and sat up with him.

“Hyunjae?” You whispered, looking him over in concern.

He turned to you in a growing distraught state and he widened his eyes. “Are you–”

“It’s just me,” You muttered. “Bad dream?”

Hyunjae froze for a moment but he slowly nodded. And usually, it was you who initiated the hugs. But this time, he was the one who lunged forward, holding you close to his chest. His hands grasped onto you tightly as he buried his nose into your neck.

With the way he was holding you so tightly, so… desperately, you wondered if this had happened before. But still, you allowed him to just hold you close, your own arms coming around to gently pat his back.

You didn’t know when, but he eventually pulled away. He refused to look you in the eye and so you brought a gentle hand to the side of his face, coaxing him to face you.

“How long has this been going on for?” You frowned.

He shut his eyes. “A while.”

Your heart clenched at his quiet response. For the past few days, you had thought he was feeling better, less exhausted. But behind the bedroom door, it must be different.

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know…” He trailed off.

“You don’t have to tell me–”

“...what they’re about.”

“Oh,” You breathed. “The nightmares?”

He nodded with tired eyes. “But while I was gone–away from you–people I’ve loved, everything I’ve cherished seemed to disappear before my eyes. It wasn’t just work it was… a lot.” His voice was quiet, hard to hear but it was loud enough that you could hear each and every heart-twisting emotion.

You stayed silent, your hand finding his to stroke the back of it soothingly.

“I felt hopeless.” He frowned. “I guess those nightmares felt like I was reliving that all over again.”

He didn’t say anything after that. You watched him cautiously, wondering what exactly to do. But then you felt his hand tighten on yours slightly and that was your cue to shift even closer.

He glanced at you with an ashamed expression that only made the pit in your stomach drop even more. Slowly, slow enough so that he could back away if he wanted to, you wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close against you. Almost instantly, he was breathing out a low sigh of relief as he nuzzled even further into your embrace.

“You’re not alone anymore,” You whispered. “And… thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

He didn’t say anything, but when he held you back, it was a perfect answer. The two of you stayed like that, in the dead of night, just holding each other until you began to feel drowsy from his warmth. It wasn’t the first time that you’ve done so. The only difference was that it was always you who needed that extra piece of comfort. It was never Hyunjae. Seeing him open up was different but something that you were most grateful for.

“I never replied to you the day we met in the hallway,” He spoke, interrupting your thoughts.

You pondered for a moment, recalling the memory. “When I said that I missed you?”

He nodded. “I didn’t reply because I was afraid you would still be mad at me for leaving you so abruptly.”

You smiled softly and shook your head, your hand coming up to the back of his head to stroke his hair soothingly. His eyes widened slightly in shock but he quickly melted into your touch. “I was angry at first.”

He laughed quietly, though his voice was watery with unfallen tears.

“But now I’m not,” You whispered. “I promise. I’m just happy to see you again.”

He pulled away to look up at you, searching your face to make sure that you were telling the truth. When you only gazed back with utmost sincerity, he let a small smile tug on his lips.

“I missed you,” He had finally replied, answering your statement from before. “More than you know. It was hard without you.”

Your gaze softened once you noticed the sparkle of a few tears in his eyes and when he blinked, your sleeve was immediately coming up to pat his cheek, drying the ones that had broken free.

“I missed you too,” You responded and gently, you were pulling him back into bed. And this time, without hesitation, he was hooking both of his arms around you, tightening you into his chest.

“...so much,” He muttered sleepily. “I missed you so much.”

“You have me now.”

“Always.” And you felt his hand grasp yours, guiding it to where his heart was, thumping in a soothing rhythm. “In here.”

You were the first one to wake up. It seemed that Hyunjae’s nightmare and tears had left him too exhausted to even notice you unwrapping yourself from his protective embrace. And so, you took it as your duty to cook something decent for him to wake up to.

Except maybe Hyunjae did notice because he opened the door shortly after. You probably should have placed a pillow in his arms before you left. He walked out and you had to stop yourself from cooing because that would be a little bit… weird. But you couldn’t help it because the sight of his hair tousled and messy, his eyes barely opened and puffy from the tears, and his lips pouted adorably, left you smiling with endearment.

“Morning sleepyhead.” You grinned, turning the stove on.

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he shuffled over to where you were standing behind the kitchen counter.

You tilted your head in amusement, wondering how he managed to navigate with his eyes barely open. “Are you feeling better?”

Again, still no response. You watched as he circled the counter, positioning himself behind you. And then you gasped quietly once you registered the strong arms that enveloped your waist, pulling you into a warm hug, your back now pressed up against his chest. You could even feel his nose nuzzling into the back of your neck, breathing deeply.

You simply just froze, unable to do anything. Once you realized he wasn’t going to move anytime soon, you turned the stove off and simply allowed him to hug you to his heart’s content. He let out a sleepy hum. Or was it a whine?

“You’re clingy in the morning,” You mused.

“Mhm.” Even his morning voice was cute.

And when you said sleepy, you meant it. Literally–you were pretty sure he fell asleep while back-hugging you in the middle of the kitchen. You practically had to hold on to the counter to brace his weight and when you stole a glance over your shoulder, you had to stifle a laugh. His cheek was smushed into your shoulder and his eyes shut in content.

“O–kay,” You heaved, forcing your body to turn around. And still, he would have almost collapsed into you if you hadn’t planted your hands on his shoulders to hold him up. His head lolled to the side as he peeked an eye open to look at you drowsily.

You chuckled and your hand came up to his hair to ruffle it. Immediately, he was leaning into your touch and when your hand traveled down to cup his cheek, he was nuzzling into it like a puppy.

“I missed you,” He slurred, his voice huskier than usual.

“Mm, you said that already,” You hummed teasingly, a smile threatening to spread across your lips. “Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” He smiled lazily.

“You’re acting drunk and it’s like–” You glanced at the clock. “Seven in the morning.”

“And what about it? I missed you,” He grumbled, an adorable frown on his lips.

“Ah,” You sighed, shaking your head. “Go splash water on your face, you dummy. Then you’ll wake up properly.”

He still didn’t budge. And so, using every single ounce of your strength, you had to carry him all the way to the bathroom as he was still clinging onto you like a koala.

After a few minutes, with the sound of the bathroom sink splashing in the background, you finally managed to start cooking something. But then the door clicked open and you looked up. Hyunjae, his eyes finally open, was blushing so hard that you couldn’t even conceal your laugh anymore.

“Missed me?” You remarked.

He winced in response, his cheeks continuing to flame red.

“I don’t know what got into me,” He muttered, refusing to look you in the eye.

You beckoned him over and he finally looked up at you shyly.

“It was cute,” You teased. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy.”

“And what else?” He quickly recovered.

Your breath hitched. Ah, you thought. There he was. The usual Hyunjae when he was fully awake. The one who loved to tease you until you were blushing and hiding your face.

“Don’t do this again,” You groaned.

“Do what?”

“That.”

“You’ll have to elaborate on that, sweetheart.”

You raised an eyebrow at the nickname, completely unfazed. But when your eyes traveled down, that was when you realized just how close he was. He continued to lean forward until he was caging you against the counter, both of his hands on either side of you. It wasn’t the flirting that got you, it was his body encompassing you so, so effortlessly, making you feel smaller than you really were.

He chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?”

Oh, this is definitely how best friends act. You were one hundred percent sure about that.

He smirked, tilting his chin down, as his hand traveled from the edge of the counter down to your hip.

Fifty percent.

His eyes wandering elsewhere–somewhere along the lines of your lips.

One percent.

“The breakfast is going to burn,” You stuttered.

He simply licked his lips, his gaze fixated on yours.

“I can always try something else.”

You were screwed.

The first day of Hyunjae’s new job was the very last day of your brief vacation from work. With a sigh, you scrolled through the shows and movies, only for you to ultimately turn off the TV in boredom. You weren’t going to beat around the bush and refuse to admit that you felt lonely without him. Of course, you saw him in the morning, already dressed in a suit (that fit amazingly on him, dare you add), but it was only for a short moment.

He still had nightmares but they were becoming less and less frequent. Sometimes, when they happened, you would just pull him closer and he would immediately relax with a small sigh, almost like you had the superpower to eliminate his night terrors.

And sleeping together never was awkward again. In fact, you adequately enjoyed it–his arms around you and vice versa. Did best friends regularly cuddle at night and gaze at each other for so long that your heartbeat started to speed up? That… you weren’t quite sure about.

Yawning, you found yourself lying down, spreading across the couch. You didn’t even do much today yet your eyes still threatened to shut close.

At some point, you blinked your eyelids open once you heard the door unlocking. Sitting up, you smiled softly at the sight of Hyunjae opening the door. His tie was already loose and his hair was blown up from the wind. Squinting your eyes, you then noticed that he was practically stumbling into the entrance, almost like all of his coordination had dissipated.

His eyes were droopy and his lips pouted from what you would guess to be exhaustion. Everyone’s first day of work was like that. You watched as he set down his work bag and walked over to you, very… very slowly.

“How was work?” You questioned, looking up at him.

And just like last time, he didn’t respond. Silently, he leaned forward and literally–very literally–laid on top of you. His body weight pulled you back down to lie on the couch and his arms were snaking around you as his legs tangled with yours. Speechless, you felt as he nuzzled back into your neck, just like he’s begun to do so often now.

“You look gorgeous today,” He whispered, his voice very oddly slurred.

Your breath hitched. “Are you drunk?”

He looked up at that and you practically choked on air once you realized how close his face was to yours. And then he smiled languidly and shook his head.

“Are you sure?” You searched him for any sign–red cheeks, the scent of the alcoholic drink–yet you couldn’t find any.

“I’m just tired,” He mumbled, planting his face back into the crook of your neck.

“Okay,” You laughed. Gently, your hand came up to his broad back to rub it in circles, the material of the suit rough and honestly quite unsatisfying. But still, you persisted once you felt his tense muscles slowly soften. Slowly though, you came to a stop. “Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” He hummed.

“You need to take a shower,” You huffed. “C’mon.” With all of your power, you pushed him up and off you. Again, his head tilted to the side with a tired smile. You laughed and shoved him until he finally obliged and went off to the bathroom.

Meanwhile, you were left there, contemplating his strange behavior. He never acted this clingy before. Not even for the years that you’ve known him. It was only after that particular night that he started to… do this.

When he was done showering, he stepped out. You had hoped that he would be more awake now, but it seemed he was even drowsier than before–too tired to even dry his own hair. With a click of your tongue, you motioned him over to sit down. Like a puppy, his eyes brightened at the sight of you as he obediently followed.

“You’ll catch a cold,” You ridiculed with a worried frown.

After finding a towel, you stepped in between his legs. Carefully, you began to dry his damp hair, marveling at the way his hair curled up after a shower. You rubbed his scalp, making your way around and behind his ears. When you peeked at his expression, you stifled a laugh at the way he basically fell asleep under your touch.

Once you deemed his hair dry enough, you were about to walk away but instead, he abruptly stood up, swaying slightly. And then he fell forward, pulling you into a warm embrace.

You smiled fondly. “Tired?”

It seems that when Hyunjae was tired, he never answered any of your questions, funnily enough. A lot of his answers were just “I missed you” or a small hum. But this… this answer was different. It was spoken so quietly, so softly yet it perfectly resonated through your ears.

“I love you.”

Before you could even say anything or really do anything, he was reluctantly pulling away and heading to the bedroom. Your lips parted as your eyes fixated on absolutely nothing. Just– space. Your whole body had gone rigid as you simply stood there, processing his words. You couldn’t even blink.

Best friends… say that too, don’t they?

It started to become a pattern for the whole first week of his new job. When he was actually fully awake, he told you that the work was demanding yet he never looked so happy and content. Sometimes, you wondered what his past work was like, but you never prodded.

But, because the work was just so demanding, every single day, from Monday to Friday, he came home exhausted. And any person would expect him to just head straight for bed. But like you said, it was a pattern, a usual thing, that he would cling on to you. Apparently, something had shifted in him. Originally, when you saw him exhausted, he would become closed off. But after… that night, he acted almost intoxicated. Not on a drink. But simply off being tired.

You found it endearing actually. His voice was always quieter and he often stumbled over his words this way. His eyes were dazed and soft on yours and he also became ten times heavier as he liked to lay all of his weight on you when he pulled you into a hug. He constantly just seemed to be in a completely different mindset–one that was very… loving and… yeah– different.

He liked to say things too. Slurred and quiet, but he still very clearly said them. You could never figure out if he meant them or if he was just tired and rambling things for the fun of it.

He said “I misssed you” a lot. Occasionally, he would blurt out that you looked pretty or beautiful. Or, it would be a small “hi” accompanied by a shy smile. Sometimes, if he was too tired to say much, he would just giggle over nothing in particular. But… there was one specific phrase that he would say out of the blue.

“I love you.”

That one always left you perplexed. It could be a… platonic thing to say, right? Where did the word “love” come from? You didn’t think much of it, but you couldn’t help but feel some sort of spark of light in the very depths of your heart.

It was weird, really. An out-of-this-world, alien-like thing for a best friend to say. The words I, love, and you arranged in that particular order were never syllables Hyunjae ever let fall from his lips. He never spent any particular ounce of breath to say them.

Yet now he did.

For some odd reason.

But again, he was just tired. Surely.

And just like before, the pattern started all over again. The week was coming to a close so maybe you wouldn’t hear those words again after this. But you didn’t really mind altogether. With a tired sigh, you walked out of the room, now changed out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable.

Right on cue, the main door was unlocking, and once again, the pattern began to unweave itself. He would walk in, with the occasional misstep and stumble. And like usual, he looked tired. Though, you envied his ability to still look… attractive. And then he would look up, search for a particular someone, and do that stupidly lazy smile–the one where his eyes weren’t focused on anything but you.

“What are you doing here?” He giggled–he giggled now, apparently.

You eyed him, completely apathetic. “You let me stay here temporarily, remember?”

He blinked at you with an adorable pout. And then he nodded. “You’re right.” He smiled. “Aren’t you smart?” He pinched your cheek.

Scowling, you wrestled his hands off. And for the first time this week, you finally decided to question his bizarre behavior.

“Why are you acting like this?” You whined, holding him up by his arms so he wouldn’t fall over you like he had done the day before.

“Because I missed you,” He grumbled, his eyes struggling to stay open. “Now let me–”

“Agh,” You groaned. But still, your hands fell to your sides as you let him wrap his arms around your torso, bringing you close to his chest. Whatever made him happy, was your motive. And totally not, I secretly enjoy this.

It was quiet for a few moments, just the sound of his slow breathing against your earlobe. For a minute, you worried that he had fallen asleep already, but he spoke again.

“Have I mentioned how uncomfortable this suit is?” He mumbled. “It’s very hot and–”

You didn’t even say anything. With a sigh–one that wasn’t particularly annoyed, but more… doting–you stepped away. He stared at you in both drowsiness and slight confusion, but his eyes slowly widened once he realized that you were taking off the jacket for him. Gently, you pulled it off his shoulders and down his arms, your eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration.

He was quiet, simply watching as your fingers grasped his tie, unloosening it with a sharp pull, causing him to lurch forward, his lips startlingly close to yours.

“Interesting,” He teasingly remarked, but his voice was still slurred.

“Shut up,” You snapped yet there was no malice behind your tone.

Your hands then came up to his collar, unbuttoning the first few buttons to reveal slightly past his collarbones which… you’ve already accidentally witnessed before. With a friendly pat on his shoulder, you deemed him undressed enough. He slowly turned his gaze to you and your breath hitched at the sight– his work attire now loose with his hair slightly messy… ah. Not to mention, his tilted head and sleepy expression that only made things worse.

Clearing your throat, feeling your cheeks burn, you scrambled off somewhere to shove a change of clothes into his hands and left abruptly, your heart thumping. Soon enough–you didn’t know when because you were busy contemplating all of your feelings and the meaning of life–he walked into the bedroom. Undoing the made bed, you motioned him to climb in. Obediently, he followed and you pulled the blankets over him.

“Y/n,” He muttered, grasping your wrist before you could walk away.

“Hm?”

“...love you,” He whispered.

Again, he was just rambling. He was just saying things. He had stumbled over his words and his voice was quiet, so that meant that he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean any of it. It was all fake–

“I love you,” He repeated—clearer, louder this time without an inch of hesitation. And this time, he was looking straight up at you, his cheeks slightly pink, flushed.

Maybe it was more real than you had thought.

The first week was over, meaning Hyunjae was more situated at work and most importantly, less exhausted. On the first day of his new, non-intoxicated-on-fatigue persona, he had simply greeted you and strolled past. You wouldn’t admit it fully to him but that simple interaction that did better fit what you guys were–best friends–left you feeling empty inside.

But it was fine. It was just a one-week thing.

Until it wasn’t.

The next day, the pattern appeared again, but it wasn’t… like before.

He was fully awake this time yet he still–

“Hyunjae?” You stammered. The arms wrapped around your waist tightened further as he stood behind you, hooking his chin over your shoulder, and breathing out a low sigh. And now that he was newly… conscious, he did more. His hands began to wander over you in soothing shapes and he pressed his chest further against your back.

“Just stay here with me.”

You could see his soft smile in the corner of your eye. With a bothered huff, you glanced back at him, only for you to inhale sharply at how close he actually was and how… nice his cologne smelt. Oh, and his hands were still wandering.

“I thought you only acted like this when you’re tired?”

He shook his head, shifting even closer, his warmth encompassing you comfortingly.

“Do you want to know something about me?”

“I know a lot about you,” You joked.

But he was quiet, a serious silence befalling the two of you. You gulped and whispered a small “what is it?”

You could hear him huff out in amusement, his hands never failing to leave your waist. “While I was away–when I was at my lowest–I thought of someone all those years.”

And for some reason, you knew exactly what the answer was.

But still, your voice tremored. “Who?”

A squeeze on your waist.

“You.”

Shutting your eyes, you breathed out a shaky sigh and looked down to where he was still hugging you from behind. Your heart was thumping and you were sure he could hear you. And even if he could make out the pounding, he never budged once. Not once did he stop tightening his arms around you and not once did he cease to bury his nose somewhere into your skin, leaving shivers down your spine.

With your heartbeat practically reaching your ears, you nudged him and turned around so that now, you were facing him. Without his dazed, sleepy look, it was just his soft eyes and the slightest tug of his lips, an endeared smile. Without his exhaustion that often left him sluggish, it was just his firm, stronger arms that held you so easily.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered.

“Sweetheart,” He replied, his voice gentle and content. And before, you wouldn’t have paid a single ounce of attention to that nickname because it just seemed like how best friends would fool around. But now… things were different and you weren’t sure how exactly. And so the name sweetheart now left your cheeks flushing.

You swallowed thickly, your breath shortening. “Do you know how much you confuse me?”

His smile only grew. “Elaborate on that.” A pause. “Sweetheart.”

You sighed, biting your lip with mortification. “That. The nickname.”

“Sweetheart? You never said you didn’t like it, I can stop if you want—“

“Don’t!” You rushed to say. You blushed more once you realized he was teasing you again, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Not just the nickname. Everything.”

“Like what?” He stepped closer if that was even possible.

You gazed up at him and you were sure you looked frustrated right now, judging by his fond smile. He always said you looked cute when mad.

“You say that you miss me all the time.”

“Because I do.” He dipped his head lower to look at you with those foolish, puppy-like eyes. “I think of you whenever I’m at work.”

“But,” You exhaled shakily. “Do you realize that you say something else?”

You were sure he wasn’t aware. He didn’t seem to be in the right state of mind whenever he was exhausted. So maybe, he would just stare at you in utter confusion, deny it, and this whole… feeling fiasco would be done and dealt with. But then—

“That I love you?”

Your lips parted in surprise and you peered up at him, wondering if he was just taking a wild guess. But no, the soft, genuine look on his face said it all.

“You… knew?” You stuttered.

“Of course I did,” He chuckled softly. “And I meant every single one.”

Eyebrows furrowing, you stepped backward from shock. As you avoided his eyes, you missed the nervousness and the unsureness that flitted across his face. But, just that one step away left chills down your body–as if being away from Hyunjae and his embrace wasn’t even natural anymore.

And so you stepped forward again. Immediately, you could hear a low sigh of relief escape Hyunjae’s lips and feel his hands snake back around your waist protectively. You weren’t sure what expression was on his face though, as you were very adamant on staring directly at his tie–his chest. You knew that he could still see your reddening cheeks, but you still preferred not to look him in the eye.

“That,” He said quietly. “You’re also quite confusing too.”

“Wh-what?”

“Stepping away and stepping back,” He spoke softly. “Looking me in the eye but refusing to when I say that I love you.” One of his hands left your waist to gently guide your chin up. “So look at me now.”

“I…” You trailed off, feeling yourself go weak just from his soft, loving gaze.

“And one more thing.” He tilted his head teasingly.

A pause. A great moment of silence.

“You don’t say it but you show it.”

“Hyunjae,” You breathed out, your heart beating like a loud, intense drum.

“I wasn’t completely unaware.” He smirked. His hand had already left your chin and found its place back to your waist, yet you found yourself staring straight into his dark eyes, stuck in a trance. “I know that you dried my hair with a towel–that you even undressed me. I know that you took care of me.”

You did do that all on your own accord, simply because you thought that you were being a perfectly good friend. But now that you thought about it–you didn’t have to. You could have easily pushed him off, and told him to do everything on his own but you didn’t. And it was all because you–

“So tell me then,” He whispered, his voice quiet–only for you to hear, almost like he wanted you all to himself. “What are we?”

You held your breath, your cheeks growing hot. Your hands rested on his chest and you could feel his heart pound, exactly like yours. He felt the same, you realized. With a shaky sigh, you gazed up at him.

“What do you want us to be?”

He hummed, a soft smile on his lips. “What do I want?”

He slightly reworded your question and you wondered why. But you nodded, your eyes studying his features. His handsome features. They were sharp when you had met him in that hallway. But his keen eyes, the angle of his eyebrows, his perpetual frown–they were just soft, soft on you. No longer was there a frown, but just an affectionate smile.

“What do you want?” You repeated his question, your voice hushed to a whisper.

He leaned in, his gaze warm and gentle, his eyes wandering over each and every detail of your face.

“I want to love you.”

You had expected to inhale sharply, gasp maybe–but no. Because everything made sense to you now. His kind words, his soft and fleeting touches across your body, it all pointed to one thing. And so, instead, you smiled shyly.

“Then love me.”

And just like that, his grip on your hips tightened and he turned you around so that your back was facing the door. He was walking you backward until you felt the hard surface against your shoulder blades and he was leaning down, close enough that if he inched further, he would be kissing you. But he didn’t–not yet.

“May I?” He muttered, looking over you with slight concern.

You nodded, embarrassingly with a bit too eagerness. He laughed softly and then he was fitting his lips against yours as your eyes fluttered closed. The press of it was gentle and tender as he tilted your chin up and angled himself so that it was more comfortable. The kiss was unlike any that you’ve experienced before. It was like the tension that had built up before had completely broken down, as you allowed yourself to just fall.

Fall, physically, almost because you felt your knees go weak, with only the door behind you to hold you up. But his hand traveled back down to your waist, hooking you in against his body, keeping you steady as he muffled a groan against your lips. You couldn’t hear anything but his breathing and the thumping of your own heart.

All you could think of was him–how he could so easily change from rough to soft, how he could push forward so quickly but pull away so easily to allow you a gasp of breath, and how he could make your heart pound yet lull it into a steady rhythm of love. He kissed like he could devour you, but if you decided to peek an eye open, you would see his adorably furrowed eyebrows and his flushed cheeks, showing that he wasn’t anything like that.

He was just a man who needed a bit of a sweetener in his life.

With a quiet noise, he pulled away. Immediately, his eyes searched over your features, making sure that you were okay and that he didn’t do too much. But, when you gave him a smile, your eyes flitting nervously, he grinned and leaned in to grant you another soft kiss.

“How long?” You laughed shyly.

“I came to the realization when you tried to cheer me up whenever I was tired. But I think I’ve already felt this way for a while.” He replied. He pinched your cheek again. “All those dates and extra care that you gave me…very cute thing to do.”

Your eyes went wide. “You… noticed?”

“I notice a lot of things, sweetheart,” He teased. “Like how you’re grabbing onto my suit to pull me into a kiss right now.”

“O-oh,” You stammered, letting go of his crumpled collar. “I didn’t realize I–”

He shook his head and before you could finish your sentence, he was cupping your cheek–something that he’s never done before–and guiding you back to his lips. And this time, his tongue swiped against your lip, making you gasp quietly.

“You taste like candy.” His gaze fixated on your lips.

“I didn’t know you could…” You had to stop for a second to catch your breath. And it wasn’t just because of his exceptional kissing, but it was the beat of your heart, of all of your love. “...you could kiss like that.”

“What can I say?” He tilted his head with a teasing look. “I guess I have a sweet tooth.”

“Trust me on this,” Younghoon whined. “I followed the instructions to the very dot. They’ll taste good. Promise.”

You eyed him skeptically but still, you picked up one of the cookies that he had baked. They looked a little… off, but it should be fine. Taking a bite, you took note of the odd texture, and then the taste started to register on your tongue.

You coughed. You choked. And then you threw the cookie back on the plate.

“Bitter,” You gagged. “It’s so bitter.”

“What?” He cried. “Are you kidding me–”

Your eyes lit up once you remembered your boyfriend who was sitting next to you on the couch. He was busy on his computer, doing some sort of work report but you ignored that, turning to him and grasping his collar tightly. You pulled him in, pressing your lips to his, causing him to let out a small “mmph” in surprise.

But almost instantly, he turned into jelly from your touch, a smile growing on his lips as his eyes fluttered close. He had tried to deepen it desperately but you pulled away shortly after, leaving him to chase after your lips adorably.

Younghoon gawked. “I’m right here.”

“So?” You shrugged, smiling innocently. “At least he tastes sweet.”

“Oh my god,” Younghoon mumbled, getting up to throw the cookies into the garbage can.

Meanwhile, Hyunjae was staring at you in a daze, his cheeks flushed. But, he quickly recovered and he was quick to pounce on you, pressing kisses all over you once Younghoon had left.

“A warning next time would be great.”

He was now hovering over you on the couch, caging you under his arms and his computer long forgotten. The position left you flushing but it was also the perfect one to knee him in the stomach.

He winced in pain. "What was that for?"

"A warning, you said," You mocked. "When literally yesterday you kissed me up against a wall in your own workplace."

"That's an exception." He smirked. "You liked it, didn't you?"

"I..." You blushed, remembering the way he had kissed you so fervently, dressed in that suit and tie, the thrill of getting caught still running through your veins. "It was alright."

"Sure, sweetheart," He whispered in a teasing tone. He looked annoying handsome like this, with that amused smile that contrasted his soft, loving gaze. "Then I'll make sure you like this one."

Oh, how you despised him.

And then his lips were on yours again, swallowing up any shy noises that threatened to escape you. But just before he did, he had whispered three quiet words against your lips.

"I love you."

And how you loved him too.

#deoboyznet #yumi 💞 hyunjae #the boyz imagines #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #tbz imagines #the boyz reactions #the boyz x reader #tbz x reader #the boyz scenarios #hyunjae fluff #hyunjae x reader #requests 💞#fics 💞

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dozing-marshmallow · 8 months

Text

FIRST DATE WITH CHRIS MCLEAN HEADCANONS

Let’s see how far along he meets first date etiquette.

For starters, he absolutely refused to tell you where he was going to take you so you were stuck a week before on what to wear, trying to base it on what Chris would choose.

On one hand, he had standards high and strict from his wealth and reputation.

On the other hand, he also has his general personality where he was carefree like a child.

Can you imagine if you turned up in heels and dangling earrings just for him to take you to an amusement park?

Brrrr. But you’d rather that than show up in dungarees for a posh dinner.

Thankfully, when he does arrive outside your place to meet you, he’s well dressed and even brings you flowers (though, the bouquet was of his favourite kind.) informing you that you made the right decision of going ravishing.

He takes your hand to the limo (Heaven forbid he drives, he’s hired someone instead).

Ravishing it was, for the destination was in fact, a fancy restaurant.

If it wasn’t for Chris, you wouldn’t even have the riches to dream about stepping into this place!

Speaking of the man, he didn’t even need to make a reservation; seeing him, the waiter immediately rushed to ready a table.

“This place is mainly for awesome famous people. Like me! And I guess, you too.”

Sitting down at the table(with a pretty remarkable night view), you had a lot of fun scanning through the high class menu.

He spent most of the evening talking about himself and his accomplishments, but you expected that.

Not to the degree he was going on.

It was a bit obstructive since he would jump from one thing to another in the same prideful manner while your engagement ceased every time.

“My agent was really proud of me for taking the hosting job of Total Drama and for making everyone laugh! Don’t you agree?”

“Absolutely! You were made for Total Drama, no wonder why your agent is proud!”

“Haha yeah! And especially with my experience hosting that ice skating show, you have no idea how many producers wanted me for their upcoming shows!”

“Oh? That’s really great!”

“Any other reality show host would be too tired to consider taking on other shows, but not me! I humbly believe (and know) that with my face on any tv show, more success is guaranteed than whatever amount of success it already has. What can I say? I’m just that good at what I do!”

“I see...”

Your mood lifted up when the food arrives, but only a short amount of time. Chris wears a napkin around his neck, and after some lighthearted ridiculing, you do too.

“(Y/NNN).” He whines,“You don’t use your fish knife for the main meal! You use your dinner knife!” He sharply holds up his dinner knife,“Jeez! You’re not that poor, are you?”

Suddenly, the food doesn’t taste so nice anymore.

You awkwardly sip on your glass of wine, watching all kinds of girls run up to Chris (even the waiters) for pictures, giggles, autographs.

To make matters worse, Chris was actively encouraging it, with his own winking and smiling. He did that more than the number of times he’s asked you a question about...you.

Okay I get that he’s a well known celebrity, but...is he serious?

At least he took care of the full check?

Sigh. That’s what you had to tell yourself to make up for his insensitive disinterest in your life.

So much for a romantic dinner. You didn’t think you’d feel exhausted, nor did you think you would feel more opposite than your expectations to never want the night to end.

As you leave the restaurant, he smiles as your head is down.

What were you thinking? Of course he wasn’t going to be like how you’d imagine in your fantasies. Why did you think he would be more thoughtful off television?

“Uh, (Y/N)?” He calls a small while after the limo journey home.

You feign a smile,“Yes, Chris?” Did he remember another great thing he did?

“I’m...getting the feeling you didn’t enjoy tonight.”

Huh? You didn’t see that coming,“What makes you think that? Of course I did. I got to go on a date with the Chris McLean. Only millions could dream of this once in a lifetime opportunity, right?”

“But you’re not taking it that way...”

Aw, was his ego hurt? “It doesn’t matter how I feel, I enjoyed the restaurant and having you with me tonight, okay?”

He raised an eyebrow,“It doesn’t matter how you feel...? What makes you say that? Of course it does. It’s our date, right?”

You scoff,“More like your date.”

“What?”

Your heart races,“It’s fine, Chris. I know you have thousands of other girls on a list to go on a date with, that’s especially gotten longer after tonight and I’m just some temporary placement.”

“Dude... Do you really think I would want to give a chance to go out with those random girls I happened to see today when I have you? And what do you mean temporary? Do...you not want to be together anymore?”

You sigh,“Chris, look. I like you, really I do. But tonight, wasn’t the greatest. I can write a whole book about you after today, and meanwhile you can’t even name five things I achieved in my life.”

“You don’t need to, (Y/N), I already made all the volumes of my autobiographies, but I appreciate the thought.”

You twisted your head away from him in disbelief. Is he seriously still thinking about himself now? As if this date couldn’t be more deprecating.

“Haha, but really, I’m the one that should be sorry. You barely got a chance to tell me more about yourself, and I was a jerk for belittling you.” He put a luscious hand onto your jaw to turn your sight back slowly, causing you to look into his...genuine eyes,“Will you let me take you on another? Pretty please? I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Well, will you?

#tdi #chris mclean x reader #td chris mclean x reader #tdi x reader #total drama chris mclean #td chris #chris mclean #total drama island chris #total drama scenarios #total drama one shot #total drama

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ilovechuuy4 · 5 months

Text

˙˚ "This is not a puppy love?" ˚˙

˒Chuuya N. X GN! Reader˓❦

A/N; okay I guess people are just obsessed with chuuya??? (Me too) but the results from my pole were indeed chuuya (click “pole” to see the pole obvi) but all of this is going so slow bc I'm having to go to different goddamn doctors for heart/health reasons pls bare with me🙏 (got the name and idea in general bc I was listening to duh, puppy love by Paul Anka:3

→ Description; The "puppy love" at 17 wasn't puppy love.?

ᰔ Lyrics; "How could I ever tell them?" "This is not a puppy love~"

❋⁀➷

You and Chuuya were sat on yalls couch in the house the both of you shared watching TV, it was one of those old romances with puppy love. It was actually pretty good but it made you think if the "puppy love" you and chuuya had when y'all were around 17. But now that you think about it, for you at least, it wasn't a puppy love, you did and still do love Chuuya but did he really still feel the same?

You scootch a but closer to the blue eyed ginger that was on the right side of you, and rest your head on his shoulder. He glances over at you and smiles softly, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Tired, Y/N?" He spoke smoothly, his eyes not leaving the scene on the TV.

"A bit.” You muttered, you wanted to ask him about the "puppy love" or well crush, y'all had on each other when y'all were younger but it felt too awkward. A few hours pass as you glance over at Chuuya who was very invested in the show playing on tv.

You then decided to just ask, you tap his shoulder which then causes him to avert his gaze from the TV and to you instead. "Yes?" His raspy voice rang in your ears, you bit your lip before asking the question. "Chuuya, about the uh, crush we had on each other, when we were in high school." you take a deep breathe and then continue.

“When we were in high school, the crushes we have on each other, do..you still have that “crush”..?” You ask your voice hardly over a whisper. Chuuya cocks an eyebrow, “When we had crushes on each other well I mean, when I liked you it was pretty serious but I don’t think I have them anymore that I know of.?” He admitted and then continued.

“Why do you ask?” You swallow hard, your hands trembling a bit. “Well, if I told you I, still had those feelings would you, consider it again?” You mutter before averting your gaze away from Chuuya’s.

Chuuya’s eyes widen a bit when you mention you might still have feelings for him, he wasn’t uncomfortable just shocked. “Do, you still have feelings for me.?” He asked, biting his lip softly. Your face was cherry red when chuuya asked that question.

"I..yea I do still have feelings for you." You admit, it was embarrassing but you obviously couldn't hold your true feelings for much longer. Chuuya gently cups your face his hands warm on your face.

"How could I ever tell them.?" Chuuya mutters, he was referring the the friends he's spoke about you too, he always made it seem like you and him were just close friends and he'd always get mad when his friends say him and you looked like a couple.

Chuuya bites his lip harder before speaking again, "that was not? A puppy love?" He mutters leaning in slightly. "This is not, a puppy love." You say, leaning in a kissing Chuuya slow and passionate.

Chuuya kisses back, it lasts for a minutes, the taste of wine still on chuuya's tongue and you could taste it so vividly. He slowly pulls away, a hum from his throat. "Oh I love you so much darlin'. " He murmurs, closing his eyes and kissing you again.

#Spotify #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungō stray dogs #bsd fanfic #chuuya nakahara #bsd x reader #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya #bungou sd #bsd fanfiction #bungo stray dogs fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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allfortzu · 11 months

Text

it's so sweet (you make me dizzy)

-- jihyo / tzuyu. 2.19k, smut ; first times // MEN DNI.

when has jihyo ever turned tzuyu down?

tzuyu has never been one to ask for help — she’s too shy, too quiet, and she doesn’t know how.

especially not for something so sinful.

yet here she is, in the living room with jihyo, watching the most filthy scene she’s ever seen playing on tv and very much failing to contain her imaginations.

jihyo seems less affected, face blank and unphased, and tzuyu wonders if she’s ever done anything like that with anyone before.

the thought of it rouses images of jihyo she’s always tried not to entertain, and a fervid heat rises to her cheeks uncontrollably.

“you okay?” jihyo asks, tone light, as if watching a scene like that together was second nature to her.

tzuyu keeps her eyes on anything but the screen — the ground, the table, jihyo staring at her with those pretty eyes that she’s never really looked at properly before —

curiosity gets the best of her.

“can i… ask you something?”

“anything you need, tzuyu. you don’t have to ask me if you can ask me something,” jihyo laughs.

tzuyu can tell jihyo's trying to play it cool, throwing an arm over the couch in some show of indifference.

she would feel guilty for making the atmosphere more tense than it already is, but the question gnawing at the back of her mind is unbearable.

“have you…” she hesitates, trying to find the right words without sounding too vulgar. “have you done…that before?”

jihyo looks at her, bemused.

tzuyu glances at the tv, the scene still ongoing, and glances back.

“oh,” jihyo breathes, letting out a soft chuckle at tzuyu’s word choice. “yeah, of course. why?”

a beat passes.

there’s an unexplainably sour taste in tzuyu's mouth at jihyo’s casual admission, and it’s a combination of jealousy and envy all at once when tzuyu murmurs under her breath.

“teach me?”

another beat.

“what?”

tzuyu keeps her eyes straight forward. the tv has turned off from inactivity, but neither of them move.

“sorry, it was nothing,” she says.

maybe jihyo didn’t hear her, and they can just pretend this never happened.

the silence is palpable.

tzuyu reaches for the remote, if only to find something to do.

but jihyo speaks again.

“no way you haven't had sex before."

it makes tzuyu wince a little when it's said so explicitly, but she's more overcome with relief than anything. "it's just never crossed my mind."

jihyo tilts her head slightly, capturing the corner of tzuyu's eyes with her gaze.

"it's crossing your mind now?"

"lots of things crossing my mind now."

"like me?" jihyo perks.

"if you don't wanna help, at least don't tease me about it, unnie," tzuyu huffs. "you scared me."

a laugh escapes jihyo, full and loud, the type where she grins and makes a sound and everything.

tzuyu suppresses the urge to turn around, intent on keeping up her facade, but jihyo makes it harder than it has to be.

then, she feels a push on her shoulder, gentle but insistent.

"lie down."

"huh?"

"lie down, tzu," jihyo repeats.

tzuyu turns then, eyes meeting jihyo's for the first time that day.

"you wanted me to teach you, right?"

neither of them look away.

"i'll teach you now."

another gentle push and tzuyu falls back on the couch. she holds herself up with her elbows, but they go almost completely weak when jihyo climbs over languidly, straddling her torso with a smirk.

a breath catches in her throat, a knot in her stomach where jihyo sits.

"is this okay?" jihyo asks.

more than okay, tzuyu wants to say, but the words get stuck. she's never seen jihyo from this point of view before – hair curtaining her face as she looks down under lidded eyes, a hand on tzuyu's chest to keep her in place. jihyo looks like she knows what she's doing, and it simultaneously calms and speeds up tzuyu's heartbeat. there's blood rushing wildly to her ears, a subdued heat in her cheeks rising from jihyo's intense gaze, but she manages a meek nod.

jihyo stays cautious of the racing pulse under her fingers, careful not to make too many sudden movements. "don't worry, we'll go as slow as you need," she reassures. "what do you usually like?"

"i don't know," tzuyu admits. "i've never done this before."

she feels a little insecure about it, like she should know what she likes, or at least know what she doesn't. she's an adult, and jihyo isn't that much older than her. there's a strange sense of inferiority because of that inexperience, one she knows is unnecessary but she feels anyway.

"that's okay," jihyo smiles, tucking tzuyu's hair behind her ear. "we'll try everything you're comfortable with and see how you like them. just tap me on the shoulder and we'll stop, okay?"

her voice is warm, full of affection – and it's like magic, the way tzuyu forgets her nerves instantly.

"i'm gonna kiss you now, tzu," jihyo says, leaning down slowly. it's suddenly quiet, her peripheral vision blocked by nothing but jihyo's hair around them, and the atmosphere of the room shifts.

tzuyu doesn't know if she says anything in response, but she doesn't start breathing until she absolutely has to. jihyo hovers before committing fully, breath hot against tzuyu's lips but still treading carefully. she watches for any reaction, any sign that tzuyu might not be as sure about this as she was before, any sign that it could've just been a slip of the tongue.

but tzuyu tilts her own chin upwards instead, pressing her lips to jihyo's. the knots in jihyo's joints unravel, and she reciprocates gladly.

tzuyu's too short circuited to move, sparks bursting in her chest and spreading all over her skin. a delicious warmth crawls from the nape of her neck and down her spine, setting out a low groan from the base of her throat. jihyo tilts her head for a more comfortable position, deepening the kiss ever so slightly, nipping lightly to test the waters. tzuyu sighs softly, raising her head for more. she clutches at jihyo's shirt when a tongue prods gently at her bottom lip, and she doesn't know what else to do but to open her mouth and let jihyo do as she pleases.

it's unfamiliar for a moment, until they finally find a pace, jihyo letting her take her time with it all.

they stay like this for a while, but then jihyo pulls back suddenly, reopening the gap between them. tzuyu's eyes flutter open drowsily, confused.

jihyo finds her gaze amidst it, asking, "how was that?"

"good," tzuyu mumbles, still partially dazed from that kiss, the feeling of jihyo's tongue lingering. her eyes flicker down, quickly distracted by jihyo's parted lips. "i liked it when you used your tongue."

jihyo chuckles at the insinuation, a puff of air released from between teeth. "mhm, i think you'll like it somewhere else more." she slides down tzuyu's body, settling in between tzuyu's spreaded legs comfortably.

tzuyu doesn't really catch it, but jihyo's teasing tone sounds promising enough for her to gulp nervously.

"but i'll save that for last," jihyo tacks on, winking cheekily for good measure. tzuyu gets all stupidly giddy for some reason.

"for now, though," jihyo continues, fingers resting casually at the waistband of tzuyu's shorts. she tugs lightly, "do you wanna keep these on or off?"

"off, please" tzuyu croaks, heat pooling at her belly steadily.

jihyo lets out a pleased sound, then taps at tzuyu's sides. "lift your hips up for me?"

tzuyu does as she's asked, and jihyo hooks her fingers over the band until she's able to pull the shorts completely off. there's an instinctual need to press her thighs together, especially once the chilliness of the air hits her core, but jihyo pries her knees apart.

"it's just me," she reassures, rubbing slow circles on tzuyu's thigh. "don't worry. do you still want to do this?"

"t–talk me through it," tzuyu says, voice high and quiet.

"i will," jihyo says, pressing a chaste kiss to her skin. it's gentle and sweet, and wholly unexpected. as requested, jihyo talks her through it, "i'm gonna touch you now, tzu."

tzuyu eyes fall close, but she nods her permission.

her panties are pushed to the side, core fully exposed now, and tzuyu squirms at the coldness.

jihyo doesn't seem to mind though, sucking in a breath before she whispers, "you're so pretty like this, tzu."

she dips a finger between tzuyu's folds, and the sensation that comes with is chest tightening and mind numbing all at once, tzuyu's back pulled taut and hips rising instinctively.

"ah–" she gapes, unintentionally crying out for a second before biting down on her wrist quickly.

looking down, jihyo's running a languid finger through her slit, gathering the wetness until her hand is covered in slick and squelching lewdly at each contact.

"have you fingered yourself before?" jihyo asks, still working tzuyu up but honestly, she's already more than ready to take jihyo.

tzuyu shakes her head, still intent on muffling herself.

jihyo chuckles . "that's okay, i'll show you now."

tzuyu's barely given a second to react before jihyo's prodding a careful finger into her cunt, slipping into her hole slowly, and tzuyu suddenly feels her everywhere.

this time, she whimpers so loud that her attempts at muffling it go futile, the sound escaping from her throat shamelessly.

"unnie!" tzuyu cries, abs clenching and toes curling into the couch, head thrown back.

jihyo bites on her bottom lip, and tzuyu can tell she's trying her best not to get too carried away for her sake.

"tell me if it hurts," jihyo says, making sure to watch out for any signs of discomfort. it's tzuyu's first time, after all, and she wants it to be perfect.

"it's– good," tzuyu manages, albeit in stutters, despite her eyes being closed tight and desperately grasping for jihyo.

jihyo notices, so she leans forward, letting tzuyu curl her arms around her neck and pull her in for a messy kiss.

tzuyu groans into it when jihyo starts moving her finger, pressing the pad of it into a spot that makes tzuyu go mad. soon, she's too preoccupied to even kiss jihyo properly, mouth agape in silent moans and face buried into the juncture between jihyo's shoulder and nape.

if it was anyone else, jihyo would find it in her to tease and edge ruthlessly, but with tzuyu's breathy gasps and weak clutches at her shirt, all jihyo can think about is how pretty tzuyu would look coming all over her, how hot she would sound.

it sets a newfound eagerness in jihyo, one that grows into pure, genuine endearment for the girl below her, and a simple wish for her to fully enjoy this. she brings a thumb to tzuyu's clit, flicking playfully before rubbing at it, along with gentle thrusts up to her knuckles, praising tzuyu through the motions.

"you're doing great, tzuyu, so good," jihyo muses, peppering kisses across tzuyu's temple as she rolls her thumb unhurriedly, just to drag the pleasure out. "just like that."

tzuyu has half a mind to respond, too caught up in jihyo's ministrations, and it overwhelms every single one of her senses. she pulls jihyo all the more closer when a heat starts building in her tummy, and somehow jihyo knows too, slowly increasing her pace and helping tzuyu chase that budding heat.

"i"ve got you," jihyo whispers, holding her tight, and tzuyu has never felt safer anywhere else.

her back arches as she digs her heels in, head pressed against jihyo's shoulder as she whimpers softly into jihyo's neck. it comes in gradual waves, rolling off her body pleasantly, a comfortable warmth spreading all throughout. jihyo prods every bit out of her tenderly, cooing all while tzuyu tries her best to ground herself.

once tzuyu comes down from her high, jihyo pulls her finger out gently, careful not to stimulate her oversensitive core. tzuyu's arms hang weakly over jihyo's shoulders, twitching slightly at the movement but smiling dreamily when jihyo looks up again.

jihyo's lips tug up at the scene, finding tzuyu's afterglow terribly cute. "was that good?"

tzuyu hums, still in a daze. "mhm, yeah."

she tilts her chin up to plant another kiss on jihyo's lips, giggling.

"you're a lot more touchy after sex, huh?" jihyo teases. "maybe you should come to unnie for help more."

she gets more giggles in return, tzuyu's mind completely out of it. "what was it you said about your tongue before?"

jihyo laughs. "still curious?"

without warning, tzuyu grins and flips jihyo over, putting herself on top with her tongue between her teeth, and jihyo's breath is knocked out of her lungs. the sight of tzuyu above her, forehead sticky with sweat and panting lightly, eyes dark and lidded with a gaze that wasn't there before — jihyo almost mewls.

"pretty please?" tzuyu asks sweetly, though her voice drips with sin.

she doesn't even have to ask, really — jihyo's never been one to turn tzuyu down.

especially not for something that feels this good.

oh... i don't know about this one yall... normally im bad at smut but this one was extra bad i fear 😭 definitely don't think i did jitzu justice at all, but nonetheless they're one of my favourite dynamics and i love writing for them!! it's a learning process, that's how i'm justifying this one 😴 and happy zyo's zone announcement!!

thank you for reading! interactions appreciated <3

MEN DNI.

#twice imagines #jihyo x tzuyu #twice smut #park jihyo #chou tzuyu #title: first time by twice #jitzu #this is such a good pic of them like they were matching each others vibes sooo perfectly i love them sm #so are they dating in this au now? are they fwb? unrequited love? who knows because i dont! goodbye #for someone who doesnt like writing smut that much i seem to be writing quite a few (albeit pretty bad ones!#twice fics

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ninadove · 8 months

Note

fav french media? (films, books, shows, games etc)

OH I LOVE THIS QUESTION THANK YOU SO MUCH 💖

I’m sure I’ll forget a lot of things and smack my own forehead in shame afterwards, but this is what comes to mind right away:

Literature:

Anything ever written by Victor Hugo is a masterpiece. This dude was a terrible human being, but he sure knew how to write, and he contributed to major changes in the social conscience of his contemporaries on many important topics (including but not limited to the death penalty and child labour). To give you a taste, here is my favourite poem ever, which he wrote, because of course he did.

My favourite piece of literature across all categories, though, is and forever will be Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand — the story of a man who convinced himself his unusually long nose makes him monstruous. The concept sounds so silly, I know, but this play is a masterpiece and a wonderful love letter to the French language.

Which brings me to my favourite comic series: De Cape et de Crocs by Alain Ayroles and Jean-Luc Masbou! Basically a twelve-volume-long fix-it fic, disguised as a tribute to French literature. Also, a beautiful bromance.

Visual arts:

Basically everyone in France can quote at least one line from Kaamelott, a comedic (?) series derived from the Arthurian legend. It is so well researched and hilarious — until it isn’t.

I’m sure there’s like, a very obvious movie choice that will come back to me in a minute, but I was raised on Disney and Scooby-Doo, so these are clogging my brain at the moment. Just give it time.

When I was very young, I would watch TV at my grandparents’ and enjoy Les Hydronautes, an animated series about an extraterrestrial explorer documenting the Earth’s marine wildlife in an effort to learn how to better protect her own planet (Aka There Are Many Benefits To Being A Marine Biologist: The Series), as well as C’est pas sorcier, a series of very fun documentaries on a plethora of subjects, from lavender farming to volcanic eruptions.

Obviously, Miraculous gets a place on the list too! 🐞🐈‍⬛

EDIT BECAUSE I FORGOT: Fantomette the animated series! This show is single-handedly responsible for my taste for smart women with amazing hair who ride motorbikes and kick ass. It even had Egytpology as a key part of the plot.

Music:

For me Formidable by Charles Aznavour is a classic, a very cute song, and a great place to start if you want to learn French!

A few other favourites include Fanny Ardant et moi by Vincent Delerm, Le Dîner by Bénabar (extremely funny to listen to while thinking about the Diamonds’ Dance) and J’ai cherché by Amir (This one is… Borderline when it comes to grammar, but cute enough that I grin and bear it. Also, it got us an honourable ranking at the Eurovision a while back, which is rare enough to be celebrated).

ALSO. I complain too much about bad translations and poor writing (see previous bullet point) not to show you kids how it’s done with Je vole from Aladdin (a genius play on words which delves into the two significations of the verb “voler”: to fly or to steal).

Video games:

Long ago, before I discovered the wonderful world of Nintendo, I would wait patiently every month for the new issue of Toboclic. This game had everything: cute animal mascots, stories, mini-games, arts-and-crafts suggestions, catchy songs, interactive documentaries… I’m sure my parents still have the CDs somewhere, but they probably don’t run anymore, which is a shame. I miss my friends.

Thank you so much for the ask, this was so fun to write!

@dragongutsixofficial please do this too so we can compare notes! 👀💖

#How do I even tag this #I think I’ll just stick to #random ramblings #frenchblr #tumblr asks

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androgynousblackbox · 22 days

Text

How I Met Your Father. 4 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

A03 link

Alastor woke up to a most lovely view: Lucifer with his wings out, floating above the floor as he casually examined his bookcase, his pants barely reaching the floor. He almost looked like a ghost without his feet showing. Alastor was perfectly content with keep watching when suddenly his nose turned up to a tray left on his bedside table.

"Did you go to the kitchen?" By yourself?, was the implied question.

Lucifer turned around and smiled, flying up to the bed and bringing the tray with magic to float between the two.

"I portalled home to get it. Didn't want to wake you up for that. Coffee?"

"Yes, thank you" Lucifer took the favorite mug of Alastor and hold it between his hands for a bit, warming it up with his magic. By the end it was almost boiling, exactly how he liked it in the morning. Alastor let out a sigh when the burn reached his whole chest. "Very much appreciated."

"You are most welcome" Lucifer started dumping sugar cubes into his tea. Alastor thought he was lucky to be who he was or he would have lose his teeth a long time ago. "What do you have planned for today?"

"Well, I have my broadcast and after that will go with Rosie for some meat. We are running low on that. Then I have a meeting with the overlords of the area. I don't know what Carmilla wants, but it has to be something to require all of us at once."

"Probably something to do with the extermination coming up" commented Lucifer, looking between all the things he brought until he found the apple mermelade for his toast.

"More than likely" Alastor could not imagine that going well if the idea was to present any kind of unified front. Overlords didn't come to their position by being team players, unless they had something to gain. If the gain was to keep themselves alive, they could do that on their own already.

"Do you want me to go with you? I could be a mouse on your shoulder."

Lucifer offered it up like it was no big deal, but Alastor squinted his eyes. The last time that Lucifer had seen him fight with overlords it had been… ugly to say the least, so it's not like he could be surprised by the concern. It was the part that implied he couldn't take care of himself that bothered him.

"It won't be necessary. Most of them are old school. They are above petty fighting. If Carmilla asked for a peaceful meeting they will respect that."

"Most of them is not all" Lucifer munched on his toast, pensative. "Isn't that TV guy that has a crush on you going to be there?"

Alastor didn't bother to point out that years of rivalry wasn't "a crush." Mostly because he also had no idea if that is what it was. He just found it funny poking at the bear until the bear electrocuted himself. Who wouldn't?

"I can handle Vox, darling. Why? Are you perhaps jelous?" teased lightly. He could always use a bit of an ego boost if that was the case. "You know you can just tell me."

Lucifer frowned, grabbing the pillow closest to him and hitting his side with it. It didn't hurt at all.

“Ouch. Domestic violence so early in the morning?”

"Idiot. I am serious."

"Me too, love" Alastor chuckled, going over the tray to kiss his lips. The sweet taste never seemed too bad when it was second hand like that. "Nothing bad is going to happen. It's probably going to be too boring anyway. Certain doom does bring out that on people."

Lucifer looked down his lap. For him and Charlie they were going to be fine, but Alastor was out of his deal with heaven and that weighed on him during each extermination.

"Still, just…" He sighed. "Just keep me updated."

"Of course, dear" Alastor patted the leg of the king covered by his pant, conciliatory. They continued on with their breakfast. "What is on your schedule for today? Are you maybe going to stay with Charlie on the hotel?"

"I wish. I have this stupid thing with Asmodeus to renovate the permits of distribution for his sex toys across all the rings and I am dying of boredom just thinking about it. He also wants me to authorize the creation of another of his stone thingies as requested by one of the Goetia, so that is more paperwork to go through" Lucifer groaned, rubbing his face. "Forget divine punishment. Burocracy is the true hell."

Alastor hummed softly, bringing up the king closer to him until he was sitting between his legs, his arms wrapped around the other's waist. Alastor nuzzled the top of Lucifer's head, that he still haven't brushed back so it lay messily around his head.

"My poor responsible king" said gently, kissing his crown and smiling as he lowered his voice. "You know you could also just deny them everything. Let them beg for it on their knees. Maybe ask for a good enough sacrificial prize. The Goetias have plenty of members, they can spare one for the chopping block."

"And that is why I stopped bringing you to the meetings" Lucifer lifted his head up, looking at his husband with a much less that impressed expression. The devil to the devil's shoulder, who would have consumed the entirety of hell in perpetual chaos if given the chance. Alastor smiled before coming down to kiss him again and Lucifer relaxed, turning around without separating as he wrapped his arms around the demon's neck. He scratched the nape of his husband with his claws, enjoying the sensation of the buzzed part under his bob. Soon he would have to shave it again. "It's fine. I will try to finish that thing and just stay home. Join me for lunch?"

Alastor nodded, humming appreciately at the attention, like a satisfied cat. Lucifer smiled. If only deer could purr, he would never get over causing that on his husband.

"I will cook" offered up first, kissing his nose before sitting down again.

They enjoyed the rest of their breakfast until they cleaned up the whole tray. Alastor could have eaten a lot more, he always could, but he could get something else to sink his teeth into at Rosie's place. Lucifer texted Charlie to tell her that he was going back to the palace now, while Alastor changed and dressed up for the day. Neither of them was surprised when their daughter knocked at their door minutes after. Charlie quickly closed the door behind her as soon she was given the come in.

"Are you sure you can't stay, papa?"

"I have king things to take care of, duckling. Another time."

"Extremely boring stuff. A little bit of slaughtering would have come a long way, but alas!" sighed Alastor cheery, picking up his pocket watch before going to pet the head of their daughter. "I am also retiring, my dear. Overlord matters for once."

"Oh, okay. Ah, but dad!" said Charlie, caughting the hand of the man before he went to the door. "I actually wanted to ask you a teeny tiny small little favor, if you don't mind."

Alastor's smile froze in his face. He knew that tone. It was never a small favor when Charlie had that tone.

"Anything for my little fawn."

Luckily, he could handle almost about everything.

"And after all of that, she just gave the eggies back to the snake man?" asked Lucifer, serving a big portion of the roasted beef he had made onto the plate of Alastor.

Alastor nodded as he extended a napkin over his lap.

"The fallen angel just changed her mind like that."

"Vaggie."

"I was just starting to get used to them too" continued on Alastor dramatically, ignoring the correction. "Once they actually learned to shut up, they were almost tolerable."

"Oh wow. That is some high praise coming from you" commented Lucifer, grinning.

"Indeed. But anyway, the meeting itself was a total bust, like I imagined it would be. The only thing I took from it is that Carmilla killed one of the exorcist and one of the Vees found it's head."

Lucifer chocked on the wine he was drinking. Alastor was hoping for a reaction for that, that is why he waited until he was drinking something to drop it.

"WHAT" coughed up Lucifer and patted his own chest until he could finally talk again. "One of the overlords took down an exorcist?! And you didn't bother to tell me that before!?"

"I am telling you now, darling."

"You should have told me right away!" Lucifer's face then through irritated to horrified as his head was slowly connecting the dots, grabbing onto his hat. "Oh. That's why those fuckers are rushing the extermination now! They think we want to kill them so they are going to kill everyone first! Why the fuck did Carmilla do that?! I thought you said they were old school?!"

"Apparently she was protecting her own children" Or at least that is what he thought the eggboy had said. "I can't say I don't understand that."

Lucifer bite his lip down, making a small strangled noise.

"Okay, fine! That still doesn't mean this isn't fucked up."

"One of the Vees was bragging about wanting a war and fighting back now that we know the exorcist can be killed."

"Which is total bullshit, obviously! They just want everyone else to go fight and die so they can take their turfs and souls!"

"It's not a bad idea" Alastor would have done the same if he had been the one to find the head. That he had to aknowledge to that Vee. Whatever her name was.

He knew already that angels could be killed. Being married to a fallen angel gave him that kind of insight that none of the overlords would have. But he was never interested in using that piece of information in that way because there was not enough garantee of any benefit for him. With a real tangible body to show for it could have been a different story, he imagined.

"It is if you are going to piss off heaven into total anhilation!" The moment Lucifer started to hiperventilate, that is when Alastor stand up from his chair and conjured up a paper bag for him to breath into, rubbing his shoulder. "This is bad, this is bad, this is so fucking bad."

"You worry too much, dear" Alastor soften up his voice, having one of his shadow to move his chair closer so he could still be at eye level with the king. "We have survived thus far just fine. Heaven tried to take you down once and they couldn't. Why it would be now any different?"

"It's not me I am worried about!" Lucifer's big eyes stared at him. The bag pressed against his face was inflating and deflating like a lung would. "What if they catch you? What if they go after Charlie next?"

"This again?" Alastor sighed, taking out his pocket watch that shined silver against the light, perfect like it had just come out the shop despite being years that Alastor got it. "I carry this with me everywhere precisely so you don't get worried about me. Charlie is hellborn. They won't touch her. I won't let them."

"They might if she goes too far" Lucifer breathed in and breathed out as he shook his head. "I knew this redemption thing of hers was a bad idea."

"What would you have prefered to instead? For her to be a doll that just did our will?"

"You know that I don't."

"Do I? Because what I hear is a lot of doubt over the path our daughter is freely choosing for herself."

"Oh, that is rich coming from you" Lucifer glared at him, finally separating the bag from his face. At least an angry Lucifer wasn't a panicking Lucifer. "You don't believe on any of that nonsense either!"

"I don't. I think our daughter is hopelessly naive and will go nowhere with this project. But she won't see the end of this dream until it crash and burn in her face. Until that day comes, as her father is my duty to be there for her. That is the only thing we can do so when she sees the truth, it won't destroy her little heart."

Lucifer squeezed the bag on his hand and then burn it, burying his head between his arms against the table. Alastor let his hand go up and down the back of the king. A few moments passed until Lucifer talked again.

"I hate it when you are right."

"I know" Alastor snickered. "What a common experience that must be for you."

Lucifer grunted as a response. Alastor let him gather himself up. After a while his husband took a deep breath and came out from his arm cacoon, eyes closed.

"Alright" Lucifer brushed his hair back. "So Heaven knows that we can kill them and that got them trigger happy. Who else knows about this?"

"Nobody outside of Carmilla's inner circle and now us" Alastor didn't bother counting Frank. Even if that thing spoke, nobody would believe him. "That Vee girl is suspicious but has no actual confirmation. If it's of any consolation, for what I could perceive none of the other overlords fell for her bait and probably will prefer to stay out of trouble too."

"That is something at least" Lucifer looked up to the ceiling, as if trying to imagine the next move of Heaven. "I assume suggesting that you and Charlie spend the extermination here is pointless, isn't it?"

"I am afraid so. She won't want to leave either her new friends or the hotel behind."

Lucifer sighed again, squeezing his hands against his eyes and rubbing them as he let his claw pinch against his white skin. When he saw the grab becoming more fierce, Alastor sighed as he stand up and took the hands off, gently closing them on his.

"Everything will be alright" It was the only thing he could promise as he kissed his hand and then caressed his cheek, not minding the tears that were starting to drop. "I will take care of her."

"I just feel so useless."

"You can't interfere either. It was part of the deal."

"I fucking know that already" Lucifer pulled out one of his hands to whipe his face quickly, getting frustrated when he realized he couldn't stop crying now.

"It's okay" Alastor used his tentacles to lift Lucifer up from his chair into his lap, his arms grabbing to his sides as strongly he could.

Lucifer could handled it. Lucifer could handle a lot of things, including this. He just needed some time and Alastor was willing to give it to him.

He caressed the back of his head soothingly when the full blow sobbing started. From somewhere inside his own chest, he let out the static resound through his body. The white noise usually did wonders to calm him down.

"The food went cold" pointed out Lucifer when he did just that. Alastor could almost see the physical effort to not apologize for his response. Alastor didn't need it and it only made Lucifer feel worse about himself. "I will reheat it."

Lucifer didn't move from his lap as he extended his magic over the food, getting it warm and inviting on a moment. Alastor was about to reach for his fork when Lucifer's first appeared in front of him, with a piece of the meat.

"You are one huge dick for waiting so long to tell me" said Lucifer with a face that looked to be struggling to keep up his pout. Alastor had to agree. He was expecting a funny reation and he had clearly miscalculated by a lot. "But thank you. For still listening."

"Whenever you want, dear" He did accept the food offered to him, because it was his husband giving it to him.

Lucifer feed him plenty and then himself, resting comfortably against the chest of Alastor as he drank from his glass.

"Do you have anything else to do today? Can't you stay and tell me the story? The real one?"

Alastor was planning to have a stroll by the city, but he could do that any other day. If Charlie needed him she knew already how to contact him.

"Of course" Lucifer kissed his jaw, resting his cheek against his neck as if he enjoyed the warm there. "You are not going to eat anymore?" He felt a negative shake. "Can I finish?" A positive sound, like a low grumbling. The hands of Lucifer hold his back from the sides without squeezing. "Thank you."

Alastor cleaned up his plate with one hand, holding his husband with the other, until he was fully satisfied. He teleported everything back to the kitchen to take care of it later. Lucifer decided to stand up and lead him by one hand to their living room, where the chimney woke up with a warm blue fire with a gesture of Lucifer's graceful fingers.

"Come here" Alastor sat on the biggest couch as he was being instructed and Lucifer laid on it, resting his head over his lap. Now he seemed much more relaxed than before and that was a relief. "Okay, I am ready."

Alastor hummed approvingly and let his hand to rest against Lucifer's crown, gently petting with his thumb as he thought about this words carefully.

"The whole truth, love? Are you sure?"

"Mmm, yes. This is just for us, babe, so you can go all out."

"As you wish.

"Since I was very young, I learned a simple truth about the world. Either you take control of your own life or someone will take it from you. Always play your cards right, never reveal your hand unless you can gain a stronger card, cheat if you have to. All of that became even more important to never forget about when I woke up here.

In a way, it was a blessing. I wouldn't have fit in any other place. Back on earth I had a reputation to keep in order to keep doing what I loved. Here, nobody cared! A neighbor that had killed at least once was nothing else but the norm. I would never have to hide anymore. I would never have to play by anyone's else rules but my own.

I will admit it, my love. My first few years I went a little trigger happy, as you would say. I was like a starving man that was finally let inside the biggest buffet on all of creation and told that I could eat as much as I wanted to without ever getting sick or full. Gluttony became my one true religion, the only one I ever willingly bothered to follow in fact. And hell was full of so many little dishes ready for the taking.

Death didn't make people any more wise. They were all indulging themselves on their own depravity just the same as me, making it all the more easy for me to use their vices against them. I didn't even know that other people were doing something similar until someone called me by my new title. Overlord. Unknowingly I had become part of the hierarchy of power here in hell. I learned that even though the souls that I consumed made me stronger, there would always be beings above myself. Creatures who were never human and were far older than I could even imagine.

I hated that in principle, of course. I finally found the place where I belonged only to find out that I was still at risk of someone else power. The fact that these "rulers" were pretty relaxed and there was essentially no law served as little comfort. Since I couldn't go up the ladder, I found a cure for my dissapointment by eliminating all the overlords on my path I could get my hands on. My power was growing the more hands I shook and the more souls I devoured.

I had no idea that by taking those overlords, all of their contracts were directly transfered to my control. Once again, completely by chance, just doing what I pleased, was I doing exactly what I should have. It's funny how fate can work sometimes like that, isn't it? Although I can understand why that wasn't a fact that was so freely advertised. Lesser demons would feel threatened knowing that the more souls they take, the bigger the target on their back, the more desirable their heads on a platter become.

To me, that was only the more reason to advertise my victories through my beloved radio. Why would you bother to be the best if you aren't going to tell everyone that you are? After a while, I didn't had to keep looking for new dishes anymore. They just came running directly into my mouth, either thinking that they could get some form of protection or to try to prove themselves.

One night, I took a little snack. It was just a new soul that had just come to hell and was desperate to find a friend. So easy to disuade. Truth be told, I had no reason to do it. I could have get ride of him or tell him to get lost just as easily. But I felt peckish and sometimes an easy prey can be just enough. He had quite a lovely scream, the type that you call earth shattering, heartbreaking. His little heart pop up between my fingers like a delicious ripe grape. When I finished to add him to the voice of the other damned, every hair on my body stand out. I felt that foreign magic around me, I knew I couldn't do anything to fight it, before I was teleported to another place I couldn't recognize.

It what the place that later I would call my home. But back then it wasn't and I couldn't understand what I was doing there, who had brought me. It was only when I turned around that I saw what looked to me like just another demon entering through the hallway, dressed up on a comfy rub and eating a bowl of ice cream. The moment we both saw each other other I felt a tingling on my hand and I saw a perfect golden ring manifest around my finger, just as the other demon was.

Well, well, I said, thinking this definitely meant that that demon was the responsible for bringing me there. More than anything because he was the onlying living thing I could see. What do we have here? A kidnapper? Or a challenger? The demon looked horrified, but curiously enough I got the sense that it wasn't specifically because of me. The ring on my finger was all he could focus on.

And what did you say then, love?”

“By any chance, how many souls have you taken?”

“That was my first clue something was wrong here. Someone had summoned me and that was their first concern? I said a few, because I certainly wasn't keeping any score either. Why would I need to do that?

The tiny demon then raised his hand, glowing in red, and did something. I don't know what it was, but I felt suddenly exposed in a way not even now I could describe, but there was no way to cover up. It lasted merely a moment, enough for him to find out whatever it was that he wanted to see, and then I launched myself to him as I reevaluated myself. I wasn't hurt, my staff was intact, my suit was complete. But something had happened and that was enough reason for my hand to close off around that beautiful, pristine neck, squeezing tight so I could strangle some answer out of him.

My next clue that something was wrong was when the demon looked at me without surprise or fear. Just mortified, as if I had caught him on his underwear.

Okay, look, listen, he said while he stood there, not at all affected by my fist. I lifted him up in the air and put against the closest wall, but not even then he was intimidated. I was starting to get pissed off when he said I think I know what happened, but I need to call someone to confirm. Can you just wait a bit?

I asked what could he tell me right now. If he didn't speak, then I would take that as a enthusiastic permission to disembowl him all over that pretty carpet on the living room.

He… pouted. This tiny demon just pouted like I was somehow the unreasonable one and frustating him! Did he had no sense of self preservation at all? Just how stupid could he be? Since he insisted in that we could sort all of this out if I let him make a call, I took a deep breath and let him go. He wasn't even coughing, casually just saying a thank you before going to a phone on his wall, giving me his back with zero concern at all about what I could do. No doubt about it, this demon was a complete nutcase. Clinically insane surely.

I found myself fascinated by it. What followed were easily the most awkward pass of time I had to endure. By that I mean that the tiny demon irradiated pure awkwardness as he sat on his couch, twidling his thumbs and actively looking at everything before myself or his own hands. I may have also contributed to it staring at nothing else but him and waiting for him to say the first word. I can have infinite patience when it comes to anything I find interesting enough, and at that moment, that was contemplating this deranged tiny demon struggling to pretend I wasn't there. He wasn't interested on making any conversation and I didn't care to help him either.

At last, I could hear a portal opening close by and a giant blue demon came in. That was Asmodeus. I could recognize him instantly from advertisement about his products that were all over hell. So you can imagine my surprise when the embodiment of lust himself looked at me and then at the other demon. His eyes quickly found our rings. Lucifer, he asked, is that the guy?

Suddenly it all made sense. Why this tiny man was completely unaffected by my usual tactics. I was just now realizing I could never hurt him physically in any way that mattered because that was one of the creatures that were placed above me on the hierarchy. The very head of the whole pyramide in fact.

Our king whose face had confined himself to the interior of his own palace since before I landed in hell, now reveled to me. I don't know what I was expecting, but I can certainly tell you it wasn't that. He was, and still is, so tiny. You would never know the kind of power that body hold.

After some more back and forth between the two sins, I finally asked what was happening. If nobody was looking to fight me or kill me, I couldn't imagine what they could want out of me. I was never made aware of any law that I could have broken or that the sins themselves, the king on top of that, would even care if I did.

You still didn't want to talk to me, so Asmodeus took the reign and the story he told me took my head for a spin.

Apparently, many, many years ago, when hell was still young, Asmodeus tried to set up his king on another blind date so he could potentially find a worthy partner to rule hell with. The other sins had tried as well, to no avail. Lucifer didn't seem to "connect" with anyone. They were always too powerhungry, money hungry or hungry for something else that Lucifer wasn't interested on being the foundation of a whole relationship. It's not like his majesty had spend all those years in complete celibacy either, but whatever is that he was looking on a partner he couldn't find it. And he was getting so tired of trying that he decided to get drunk, as one does to try to forget what is unpleasant.

A drunk Lucifer is a blast at first, according to Asmodeus. Dancing with the sin of gluttony all night, creating elaborate musical numbers out of thin air about how good the single life was and how he didn't need a partner anyway, because he was the king of hell! He could do and say and fuck whoever he wanted whenever he wanted! Why would he ever need anything else? He declared, right there and then, that he wasn't going to keep looking anymore at all! No, instead his new partner would come to him! Write this down and make it official, he insisted, slurring over his words, insisting on it until he saw the embodiment of lust pulling up writing utensils to do so. If a sinner ever came to posses 666 souls at once, not any more or any less, just that exact amount, then that was going to be his perfect partner.

Because clearly, someone that was such a pure embodiment of evil to do that had to be only perfect for the creator of evil in humanity. Flawless logic! You see, that was the real issue. That everyone was too good for him or not evil enough for the task of being at his side. Just right there, that would make it official, write that down. No need for an actual wedding or anything trivial like asking that hypothetical sinner if they wanted to get married in the first place, nope. He was the king and so his word was law enough, and therefore nobody else would have to bother to set him up for another failure ever again.

I will let you guess what my little snack meant for my own numbers. That is what Lucifer was verifying with his own magic when I felt exposed. When he saw that 666 marked across my own soul, he knew what it meant. Ah, but that is not the best part of this lovely tale, my darling listener.

No, the best part of all was that Lucifer had completely forgotten about it. As in, it wasn't even a thought. For thousands of years, that night remained as a vague memory that never really came up again. Asmodeus, very understandingly so, assumed that Lucifer was just going to keep put and wait for that sinner. He thought that surely some part of the king had meant those words and therefore would take them to heart. The king got drunk so rarely and never to the point to completely forget about everything the next day, so no doubt this wasn’t going to be any different now. In order to respect that desire, for as bizarre as it was, he didn't try to set him up with more partners and neither did the rest of the sins. After all, if he didn't truly meant it, he was free to undo it anytime he wanted to.

Meanwhile, Lucifer spend years living his life as a single king without any worry about how this little curse he had imposed on all of hell could ever play out for him.

My dear beloved husband, my new husband, was a certified idiot. There was no rock under which I could hide from the secondhand embarrasment when I heard about it.

Similar to how you seem to be wanting to do right now, my dear, indeedy! Remember you said all of the truth, my love. Want me to continue? Yes?

Alright.

So after the two sins realized the misunderstanding that happened, the next issue was adressing me. The king immediately assured me that I didn't had to do anything, that I wasn't being forced to stay and he was so terribly sorry. He understood that was a stupid decision he made in a moment he was being particularly stupid and it was his fault, not mine or even Asmodeus's to deal with. The embodiment of lust was just trying to be a good friend. He could undo it, of course, there was no need to worry about that. The ring would naturally dissolve the moment he erased the condition and our marriage would cease to be. Once he did that, I could get back to my evil doing like nothing happened.

Asmodeus was the only one who didn't seem in any rush to do that. You know, he is not that bad looking, he said considering me. As he looked at me, I thought on the utter absurdity of a giant like that one being less powerful than the tiny man in front of me. I just couldn't get over how small he was. You could have gotten someone a lot worse, remarked Asmodeus and I felt a tinsy bit offended to be honest. I came here for being the worst already, thank you very much. But I understood he meant it in the look apartment anyway.

And he is here already so, continued on, why not give it a try?

Until he said that, maybe because of how small our king was, I hadn't fully realized what this whole ordeal meant. The fact that I was suddenly married was nothing compared with the question of who that was with. I had become the spouse of the devil, through sheer turn of events that only tangentially were my own creation. I could be the most powerful being in all of hell already, make the rules. I could get the total control I so desperately wanted and nobody, ever, would be above me. All I had to do was being at the side of this creature and play my role accordingly. How easy could that be?

My husband also considered me for a second, but he clearly was still more embarrassed by the whole situation to be swift off his feet by my charming smile. I would have to fix that.

That doesn't sound like a bad idea, I said as if it was a brilliant one. I haven't had much luck on dating either, added, without saying that was entirely because I was never interested in dating before. Why would I want to make myself vulnerable and defenseless in front of anyone else, someone who could take advantage of that? What kind of idiot does that?

But I kept going. I apologized for my earlier treatment of his Majesty. I was just confused and surely he could understand how walking on the side of caution was necesary down here. I thought that someone had brought me there wanting to cause me harm, but if it was a exploration for a union then that was a entirely different story. I didn't find the king repellent either, I said, looking at his blonde hair and his face that I now could see being part of Heaven. But also noticing the black fingers that could surely pop my own heart in my chest if I made the wrong move. I am not going to deny there was already a form of excitement attached to that notion. Here in hell I have been living so comfortably I had forgotten how entertaining can be living on the edge too. But I kept that for myself.

This was an unusual start for any relationship, sure, but all relationships have their quirks, don't they?, continued as if I had any idea. I looked at the king hoping he would see the sincerity that I could fake so well when it suit me. If your Majesty would be willing to have me, I am willing to give this a try too.”

“I knew you were full of shit” Lucifer took the hand that was resting over his chest and played with the fingers, reminiscing too. “I have seen enough charmers to recognize one. I was the original charmer. I knew you didn't give a shit.”

“Then why did you accepted to have me there instead of nulling the marriage, love?” Alastor knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it straight from the source.

Lucifer also knew it, but he let a moment pass before he spoke again.

“It was the first time in decades I was talking to someone that wasn't the other sins” confessed, curling up in Alastor’s lap, not letting go of his hand. “Even if you were a piece of shit, I thought you at least could be fun to talk to. If I nullified the marriage right there, you would have no reason to stick around.”

Alastor made a soft croon sound, brushing the hair of Lucifer with his fingers. He didn't say he was wrong. He wasn't.

“I am glad you didn't” did say because that was also true.

Lucifer nodded his head, bringing the hand of his husband against his chest. Alastor could feel the warmth of his skin through the shirt on his fingers and the soft beating of his heart.

“And so that is how we started living together. I was given my own room where I was told I could do anything I wanted to and I was free to get out to do whatever is that I wanted. The only thing that was expected from me was to not talk to anyone about my new marital status for the moment, something I had no issue at all to comply with, and to share at least one meal with his Majesty everyday. You don't have to, told me the king, not looking me in the eyes, so I knew that was the bare minimum I could do if I wanted any of this to last. I had no issue with that either. Otherwise I could roam through the palace freely the rest of the time. If I needed something that could be bought, I just had to ask.

We were just like roommates for a while. Probably better than most roommates with Lucifer being willing and able to provide for me if needed, but not more than that. My plan to get the ultimate control over hell had one glaring issue I somehow didn't realize before.

I had no idea what to do to seduce someone. I could convince someone to give me their soul by playing what I knew they wanted to hear and I knew how to come across as a friend in order to being able to do that. I had a clear objective and a way to go about it. Given my total lack of experience when it came to interpersonal relationships of this nature, I was quite literally lost as to what to do. Make the king fall in love with me so he would allow me to have his power was just as vague of a plan as it could have been. How do people even fall in love with in the first place? What combinations of words or gestures do they need for that? I had no clue.

My new husband didn't made things easier for me. Besides our meals together, he wasn't really after my presence. He wasn't avoiding me by any means, and if we end up being at the same space at the same time, we usually could spend that time fine enough. Even then, the king usually left first to his own study, door always close. He seemed satisfied with just having someone around his house to have a brief conversation with, but surely that couldn't be enough to keep a whole marriage alive?

Although what does keep a marriage going was another question I certainly did not had an answer to either. My own parents were not the best examples to pull from, to say the least. I appreciate that Lucifer wasn't demanding things from me that I wouldn't be comfortable with, that was the bare minimum he could do after all, but I had no idea how long we could keep this up before he decided to kick me out, declaring this whole experiment another failure.

Our media provided with no help. The usual means that included a tantalizing vision of my body was out of the question. I would very much like to keep my dignity through all of this if possible. On the other hand, I wasn't sure that trying to touch Lucifer and suddenly being all over his space wouldn't also mean a sudden divorce. Not to mention certain death or loss of members for me. I just had no idea of how to get a read on him to know what I could offer him.

Our conversations during meal time were light and I quickly noticed that Lucifer would prefer to talk about anything before himself. When I tried to get him to talk about his role or what he had done during the day, he kept saying it wasn't anything that interesting before turn it on me.

It was a month after our arrangement that I finally swallowed some of my pride and end up asking the only person whose insight I could respect in all of hell. Not to mention, I knew she would be discreet enough to not repeat a word of what I said to her.

To say that Rosie was shocked when she heard my predicament would be a understatement. Her mouth formed a perfect o when I told her, omitting as many details as necessary and already keeping a glove over the ring. I had just told her that there was a demon, a very powerful and fearsome one, that I wanted to get close to and form a bond with, but I didn't know how without putting myself at risk or lose all contact.

She knew this was new territory for me, so much she had assumed that I would never want to touch that kind of topic as far I existed. I couldn't really say that she was entirely wrong either. I don't think I would have ever cared if it wasn't for these special circumstances. I also kept for myself the portion about all of this being part of a plan to gain power myself. Her own moral code would have being against playing with someone's heart like that. Someone only had to ask whatever remained of her ex husband's to know that much. So I let her believe it came from my own desire to be closer to this demon and she excitedly was ready to help me out.

She told me that if this demon was so insistent on keeping up the distance between us, then I would have to be the one to close it. Show interest for his interests, find out about what made him happy and try to engage from that side.

That was when I became very curious to enter his study, the place where he spend up most of his day, supposedly working away on his royal duties. I was imagining piles and piles of papers signed with mortal blood, maybe books full with the whole knowledge of humanity contained on them, arcaics instruments and devices from civilizations long forgotten. Something incomprehensible and old and so mentally demanding that of course he would spend his hours on that alone.

When I finally asked if I could come and my king hesitantly told me yes, though, there was none of that at all. It was surprising, just as surprising as finding piles and piles of rubber duckies could be.

I didn't ask is this it? Is this all you do all day? Just being stuck with these yellow squeaky things? I could tell he wasn't proud of it either, waiting for my reaction. Instead I took a look around, noticing thankfully there was more than duckies as handmade wooden puppets hanging from the wall, an area full with painting supplies and sculpting tools. Some, if not all, of these duckies must have come from his own hands. An odd expression of creativity, but an expression nonetheless.

After a while letting the silence fill the air, I just needed to know why duckies. Just why. I could understand wolves, lions, maybe even cats if I had to guess, not duckies. I wasn't prepared at all for my husband suddenly going on a long tangent about how duckies were the best already, dumping on me a bunch of facts about them that I had no idea about, about their character, their feathers of which every liquid slide without leaving them wet, their beaks that had especial filters for when they ate on the water, about how their babies imprinted on anything they saw and not just on their own species. Everything said with the same enthusiasm as if they were the most impressive creatures in all of the universe. It was like a dam had just exploded in front of me. I could only imagine how many years he had been waiting for someone to ask that question.”

“Too long” aported Lucifer with a low giggle, blushing.

“I believe you” Alastor smiled indulgently. “I still had no idea what to do with that information. If it had been any of the things I was expecting, I could make a conversation out of that. But Lucifer had all of the words anyone could ever say about duckies and letting them fall on me like a whole avalanche. This was the most animated I had ever see him since I came to know him. Finally, as if suddenly realizing it had been ten minutes and I haven't said anything, mostly because he wasn't giving me an entry, my husband asked if he was boring me.

No, I said because I wasn't bored. The topic itself wasn't interesting to me, but the response that it brought from him was fascinating. I asked if he did those duckies himself and he started presenting them to me, with their own names, backstories, pointing out the details that made them unique and especial. It was in the middle of that I noticed a bookcase with duckies separate from the rest and I recognize one of them as representing Asmodeus. The other ones I could only imagine were about the other sins.

Do you want me to make one for you, suddenly offered my king, seeing what I was looking. I didn't know if I wanted one, I had no idea what I would do with it if anything, but refusing a gift was out of the question for my plan to work. So I said yes, of course.

Your face light up like even more that while talking about your beloved duckies, my dear. I had been given gifts before, of course, but I don't believe anyone was as excited about it as you were. You immediately took me to your drawing station and told me to sit as you started sketching, looking out to see what details to capture. For the first time he had no issue looking in my direction and it was for the sake of making a rubber duckie to my liking.

Nobody ever could say that my king wasn't full of surprises.

Do you do that for everyone, I asked.

Do what.

What you are you doing right now.

Only for friends.

Are we friends, Majesty? I asked before I realize what a stupid mistake was that. I blamed the whole being outside of my element to me not realizing that if that is what Lucifer already thought of our relationship, then that was all the more convenient for me.

You stopped sketching. I was already thinking some way to salvage the situation, insist that I was hoping in fact we could be more than that, when I noticed how smaller than usual you were as you moved on your own chair.

That bothered me more than I was willing to let on. You are a king. You are the sin of pride on solid form. You can't lose on a fight. You are the strongest being I have ever met. You could kill me. Why do you ever let yourself become like this?

I mean, kinda?, you said, fidgeting with the pencil. You don't think so?

I thought we were married, I said showing my hand with a bit of a playful teasing.

You blushed a soft gold. It was the first time I saw it and I was suddenly struck with the idea that your blood probably looked like apple juice. Fiting for the one who used an apple to condemn all of humanity. It would taste like it?

Right. Sure. But you know… it has been nice having you around. I am sorry if I am not around much, but still. It was nice. That is why I thought…

I didn't say I didn't want it still. As I said that, I stand out to look at what you have done. First there was a general sketch of me. I was honestly impressed with how quickly you had captures my features so, even though it wasn't too polished, there was no way to miss that was my face. Even my smile was on brand, my eyes giving nothing away. Then there was the drawing of a couple of possible duckies that I had interrupted.

You forgot my monocle, I said.

Oh, right. Sorry.

You should have my staff too. It could come out from the wing.

You smiled and added it in with a quick motion of the pencil, a confident one from a veteran artist as you looked over at my staff and it's design. You don't doubt when you create, you just do. I thought that was a much better look for you.

When the sketching process was done, with a duckie that we were both satisfied with, my husband closed the sketchbook and declared we should be going to get dinner. It just occurred to me that he had been the one cooking in all my time there. So I offered up to make dinner for tomorrow. When you started saying I didn't have to, you didn't mind, as I was expecting already, I insisted that it was a date and took off before you could argue any longer.

I wasn't about to present to you the wonder of cannibal meat just yet on our very first date. I knew enough about social etiquette to know that had to be a gradual entrance. That was a surprise for the third date at least. Just because our marriage was unexpected and quick, didn't mean that everything else had to be too. Veal it was then. I thought there was something especial about offering something that never reached full maturity in a plate, where all of it's infinite possibilities were finalized bite by bite. As if by eating something that had been cut far too quickly, we could regain the time it was stolen from it. But I kept my poetic explanation for myself. As long the flavor was appreciated that would be enough.

From that one interaction, something was already different between us. Lucifer was clearly more comfortable and engaged in conversation with a more light disposition. That is how I started getting an inkling that the job of a king was truly so much more boring than I ever expected. When Lucifer wasn't dedicating time to his hobby, eating with me or existing on my vecinity, he was drowning in paperwork or going to meetings with the royal member of hellish society with the hope of keep some semblance of order in hell. None of which I had seen because my husband had correctly assumed that I wouldn't be too interested on that side of his life. But I could still ask him about it and let him vent about it when he felt like it. That is what marriage is, isn't it?

During the dessert of our first date, my king gave me the duckie finalized. That could also do a little dance when you pressed its head, because Lucifer thought that would be fun. The tiny version of my staff made a full spin on the wing as the duckie turned around. It was no doubt the most unpractical and weird present I have been ever gifted to. When the dance stopped, I took it on my hand to see the detail. The markings of my shoes were under the flippers too, for my surprise. When did Lucifer ever noticed that? Something about that just struck me in a way I did not expect.

I knew that you were waiting for my response, but I frankly didn't know what to say. Instead of saying anything, I kissed the top of the head of duckie and saved it on my front pocket where it would poke out, little staff and all. Even my monocle was a perfect shade of glass red. I asked how do I look now with my new accesory, realizing you were blushing again. I didn't intend that to happen. Was that the start of you falling in love with me?”

“You looked so cute though, I couldn't help it” commented Lucifer, smiling. “Hey, now that I think about it, I haven't seen that duckie in a while. What happened to it?”

“Oh, I have it on my safe box. Charlie found it when she was little and played with it until the staff bended, so I thought I would keep it on a place where it would be fine.”

“I can just repair it if you want. Good as new.”

“Don't you dare” Alastor ruffled the blonde hair a bit to emphazise the warning. “I like it old. You of all people should know that already.”

“Is that supposed to poke at my age now?”

“Maybe” Alastor chuckled when Lucifer pouted. He also looked cute like that and he too couldn't help it. “May I continue?”

“Before I die of old age you mean? You may.”

“Thank you.

Lucifer being more comfortable to talk to me was undoubtly a good thing. It also meant that he was more comfortable arguing with me. If needed to I could be a very agreeable person…”

“Ha! Good one.”

“Shush. It turned out that living with another person who actually spend time with you brought it's own set of struggles. Little things that are just part of how you do things that they are annoying for them. Little say that they do that are just the wrong way that makes you want to tear your own hair out. We were very different people on so many different ways, and yet, we both could be just as stubborn.

One day, I was on my last strand of patience. A young overlord that was making their name known in the streets had managed to get under my skin by bragging about how nobody even had a radio now, so I was clearly an obsolete demon that soon was going to be out of commission. Movies, they insisted, movies were the real future of hell. It shouldn't have bothered me at all that the people were congregating outside of his new cinema with color and audio. And yet it did.

I don't remember what was the argument about, something trivial and stupid that it wasn't worth it. Did I mix my clothing with his on the laundry? Did I left the chimney turn on when it should be off? Did I forgot to clean my shoes before walking over the carpet? Who knows. It doesn't matter. You said something along the line "you are impossible to live with" and something in me exploded.

Oh? And you think you are a joy to live with? Stuck everyday in the same place, obssessing over the same useless stupid things? Who would want to spend their days around a king that can't get outside his own palace or walk through his own kingdom without losing his marbles like a pathetic weak little imp? I might be impossible, but by the god you betrayed, at least I am not an embarassment for both heaven and hell.

I should haven't said that. For more reasons than one. But above all else, for the way you looked at me. All the anger that took for me to spit those words out were erased in the air the moment you said I should go.

Just that. Not anger of your own, not even sadness. Just this vast empty dissapointment that stung so much worse than any insult ever could. That only made me angry again. How dare you to be dissapointed in me? Honestly, how stupid were you in the first place to ever believe in me? How is my fault that you missed the memo of what kind of man you married to? Who are you to judge me in the first place?

I left the palace grabbing whatever I could quickly. I don't know where Lucifer had dissapeared to, I assumed his study with his duckies, but I was out of the door. It didn't sink in just how much I had messed up until I reach my old apartment and it felt small and cramped compared with the palace.

A week passed in which I kept waiting to see the ring on my hand dissapear, but it didn't. It became a habit to look down and check. While I was walking, my finger would keep brushing against it over my glove and pressed it as if to test if it wasn't going to dissolve. It never did. Two weeks. Three. Rosie asked me how things had turned out with the big powerful demon and I had to shrugg, saying it didn't work out. It wasn't meant to be. She was so sorry for me, sincerely so. I tried to tell her that she didn't had to, that I didn't really care anyway.

She turned her head to the side and said, as gently as a cannibal overlord is capable of, that she didn't believe a word of that. Something was off about me, according to her. Last night, when we raided that meeting of a overlord that had pissed her off, apparently I had killed people way too quickly. I didn't enjoy any of their screams or chase them down when they started running. I just got done with devouring them like it was a job rather than the joy ride it was meant to be. She had only ever brought me along because she thought it could distract me from whatever I had in mind on the last few days. She was saying all of that while looking at the glove on my hand and for some reason, no matter how impossible it was, somehow I thought she could see through the fabric and the ring. I almost wanted her to. Someone else to really confirm that it was there still and it wasn't just my own delusion.

She was right, of course. She knew me far too well. What actually happened, she asked and I just spilled all over the tea overflowing my cup, as youngsters definitely do not say. As much as I could without actually saying too much, at least. When I was done, she looked at me like the answer had been obvious all along. And maybe it was, but I still didn't like it when she said that I owe you an apology, even if you still want me out. Closure was the word she used. I don't know about that.

I just wanted to see and ask why I still had the ring.

When I came home… the palace, I did not find Lucifer anywhere. Not on the livingroom, the kitchen, the garden or even his study, where his door was open. The piles of duckies have been turned into mountains. You couldn't enter without stomping into one of them. But no Lucifer anywhere. I was passing through the entry when I saw you at the door, holding a bunch of groceries in a bag. Seeing the king casually coming from outside stopped me in my tracks. I wanted to ask how was that possible. The last time I saw you trying to walk to the next block you teleported back, saying that was a bad idea and to never try it again.

You seemed… a lot less shocked to see me there though."

"You had forgotten your bowtie" said Lucifer, shrugging, as it should have been obvious. "I figured you would come back for it sooner or later. And if you did, maybe we could talk. It also didn't help that you didn't had a phone and you never told me where you used to live before, so I couldn't send it to you. I was… waiting for you to come pick it up."

"You told me you went to the store alone" Alastor waited for Lucifer to elaborate further or comment, but the fallen angel just remained silent, squeezing his hand. "You said you had been practicing for a while now to come out. You did teleported a big portion of the way and had to come back home three times, but you made it through the whole task completely on your own.

I should have tell you that was amazing for you, because it was. Instead I was just so confused as to why you weren't angry at me. I was prepared for you to shout at me or throw stuff at my head, not for you to keep walking to the kitchen without turning back. Somehow it reminded me to my first day there, when I thought you had to be a nutcase to give me your back so easily after I threatened you.

The bowtie thing was a lie, wasn't it? I did left it, but I could replace it easily. It wasn't that precious."

Lucifer didn't respond, but he didn't have to with the way his hand squeezed his. Alastor returned the gesture and sighed, coming down to kiss his temple.

"When I followed you behind, you were accomodating the groceries. I stood there, not understanding at all why you weren't more angry, why you weren't telling me to get out of the palace now. But instead of asking, because that wasn't what I came for, I struggled to get out the words out of my mouth."

"You looked in actual pain. It was a little bit funny in retrospective."

"I was. I never had to offer a sincere… apology to anyone for any reason. I was usually smarter than to need to do it. To admit I was wrong was to admit I had commited a easily avoidable mistake.

But it was a mistake all the same. I had no right to say any of that. I only remember those words at all even now because I so wish I could erase them entirely and smack my past self for even uttering them in the first place.

You asked if I still thought the same, so I said no. I thought you could be sometimes pathetic, annoying, clumsy, very frustrating and maybe a bit too obsessed with ducks, but it wasn't hell to live with you by any means. You sometimes could also make it so much easier than you had to for a complete stranger that literally just appeared on your living room. And maybe you were a dissapointment for heaven, but honestly that was only a plus on my own book so what did I care? Hell is a dissapointment already for anyone who know their action wouldn't catch up for them, so it was only fitting that it's king was just as unconventional. I only said that because you cared, because I wanted to poke where it hurt, not because I cared. That wasn't right of me.

You turned around and blinked with those big eyes of yours that told me nothing, but it wasn't out of indifference, but out of you don't wanting to let me see nothing yet. That was only fair, but it bother me all the same. You asked if I wanted to stay for dinner and I said yes.

You told me that you had gotten the papers ready for the nullification, but never got around to sign them. They laid on your desk all of those weeks while you kept making more and more duckies. They were comforting, while the papers were not, so you naturally avoided them. Haven't even realized the amount of days that have passed, concentrated instead on the amount of distance that you could put between yourself and the entrance, the amount of time you could tolerate outside before you had to come back.

You were proud of telling me it had been a full hour and a half, as you should. I much prefered the look on your face when I told you that it was amazing. I thought about taking your hand that night so much, but I wasn't sure how that was going to be taken. Instead kept watching your own ring. Something was different in the air that I couldn't quite place.

You told a stupid joke about gooses and laughed so hard you wheezed, like it was the funniest thing that anyone ever said. I think I started falling for you that night.

A week after I moved in, I asked if we could share the same bedroom."

"Oh boy."

Alastor arched an eyebrow at the blushing face of Lucifer.

"Oh? What is that, your Majesty? You don't want to hear too about the first time that you ravished me? Jumped on my bones? Fulfill your husbandly duties? Consumate our marriage? Attempted to create an heir with me by the traditional means? Multiples times, might I add?"

"Oh for me, can you shut up?" Lucifer laughed, straightened up to kiss his lips, wrapping his arms around his neck. Alastor's hand instinctively went to his waist as the king made a new throne out of his lap. "I was there for that one, I remember."

"You were there for everything and still asked me to tell you how it happened" Alastor grinned wider. "Which is the verdict by the way? Did it sound any better than our usual story?"

He had to know, of course. His pride as a locutor that relied on his eloquence was on the line. Lucifer's finger started twirling around the hair on his nape.

"You did make it sound more funny than awful, I will give you that."

"Thank you."

"Even so, I don't want Charlie to hear it" declared Lucifer, pulling a side of his mouth downward. Alastor kissed the gesture, turning it into a smile instantly. "She can keep the guard story. That one is nice enough."

"As you wish" Alastor kept kissing his cheek and down his neck. He lapped at the skin over pulsating vein with his tongue and pressed his mouth there just as Lucifer was pulling his head back, giving him more space to nibble. The lie of vulnerability was almost as enticing as the truth of danger. Knowing that he was the only being on all of hell that his king would show himself like this was no small part of his charm.

"The first days you did nothing" commented Lucifer suddenly and Alastor looked up, momentarily confused until his husband continued. "When we shared a bedroom for the first time. Did you thought I would smite you for trying to touch me or you just didn't know how to breach the gap?"

"Both" admitted Alastor, accommodating Lucifer on his arms as he pulled himself up with his tentacles. He started walking through the hallway to their room. "You seemed content enough with having me there and I was only more confused by that. You weren't like me, you liked that kind of stuff by themselves. One time you even asked me to return to my old room for the night so you could pleasure yourself. I would have helped you if you had asked, but I figured you would have offered if you wanted that. I don't know how useful my input would have been, though."

"We didn't kiss once at that time" Lucifer gave a short, throaty laugh as if he couldn't believe how stupid they were. "What kind of a mess is that? We both were agreeing to stay married, but couldn't decide to touch. For all I knew, you still had your own evil agenda and were biding your time."

"It could have been both." Alastor nuzzled his forehead. "My evil agenda on one side and take you to bed on the other."

"But more than anything else" said Lucifer, lifting a finger up to boop the nose of Alastor, "I didn't want you to do anything that you didn't want to do. If you never wanted to go further than sharing space, I was prepared to accept that. Being married to my friend is not the worst kind of fate I could have ended with."

"Agreed" He reached the door to their bedroom and opened up, laying Lucifer down on the bed to hold his chin up and trace the contorn of his lip with a red thumb. "But I didn't want to be friends either. It was driving me insane because I didn't know what you wanted or I wanted out of this. Did I want to reach because that is what people do and you would expect that or because I wanted to? You weren't giving me anything to work with."

"If only you simply had asked” The tone of Lucifer was slightly mocking as he bit softly on the thumb of Alastor. “I would have told you I was open for that as well.”

Alastor groaned. And risk coming off as insecure, as if he didn't have the most clear idea of everything that was happening at all times? Never.

Lucifer giggled, bringing him down to the bed by the front of his vest. The radio demon followed through the lead of his king.

In another place, Charlie was staring up to the ceiling of her room. After who knew les of how long trying to let the sleep come to her, without success, she slipped under a sleeping Vaggie to stand up. She made sure that her girlfriend still had a pillow as replacement before going to get dressed. If she wasn't going to get any sleep done, then all the more reason for her to start working on their current issue.

They were merely one month away from another extermination.

#radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #alastor x lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #arranged marriage au #hazbin hotel au

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aphroditesbaby1616 · 2 months

Text

The Bear & His Honey - Lucky 13

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; "You are in Love" (Taylors Version) “You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.”

♡ Summary: Carmy is filling in on 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show' for a sick guest that couldn't come, He stumbles in to Winnie's absolute favorite person- and is able to treat her to a night she won't ever forget.

♡ W/C: 24,019

♡ Posted Date: 03/13/2024

♡ A/N: Welcome to Lucky 13! I wanted to give you all a taste of what Carm+Winnie will be at some point. This chapter will have very little angst, & have mostly sickeningly sweet fluffy goodness! This is set at least 1.5 years in the future from the last chapter. This is kinda a “one shot” in a way, in the TB&HH Universe, I have been thinking of this chapter for a while, and it would make my heart sing for Carmy to have a night out with his favorite people & get to relax, and just be in love. Also- in this, Carmy has been attending group weekly, and learning more so how to express his feelings. I’m also excited to show my idea of how Carm would show a big romantic gesture like the one in this chapter, and just overall make himself feel really proud for showing Winnie how much she means to him. Also- alot of things in this chapter (french speaking, JKS interview, etc) will make sense very soon!!! I just- it's too cute not to include hahahah I hope you enjoy this chapter :)) Also, the way while editing (I'm listening to TS obvi) - but genuinely as i'm editing them talking about the different songs- they were COMING ON SHUFFLEEEE!! That woman is a WITCH i tell you

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smut, Swearing - 'tis all *** Any dialogue that has ( ) after, is translation from French to English!! :) ***

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

If you like this story, please click #TB&HHPoll in the tags, & vote on the questions asked <3

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

“Okay-okay baby- ask them!” I plead, Winnie gave me her adorable little frisky grin.

“Ours... vous savez si vous êtes nerveux, ils peuvent le dire, et vous vous sentirez embarrassé après- respirer à treize pour votre Miel, s’il vous, plaît…?” - (Bear... you know if you're nervous, they can tell, and you'll feel embarrassed after- breathe to thirteen for your Honey, please...)

She put her hand on my cheek and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and silently counting to 13, taking a deep breath every odd number I counted in my mind, just like she’d taught me.

“C'est mon bon garçon…Mon sexy homme…” (That’s my good boy…my sexy man…) she said gently as I exhaled.

“Now, like we said, imagine it’s me asking you all these stupid questions, they won’t go off script, Ours (Bear)! Ils ont promise qu’ils ne le feront pas (they promised they wouldn’t).. S’you just have to say the exact same answers we rehearsed the last two weeks, oui?” She cupped my cheeks, stroking my cheekbones gently with her thumbs.

“Oui,” I whisper. “me poser leur première question” (Ask me the first question), I muttered nervously, relishing in the feeling of her cool fingers against my hot cheeks, giving me at least a small sense of relief.

Thankfully - When being asked to be a fill-in guest on The Jimmy Kimmel Show - they'd prepped me- us- with questions they’d be asking, so I wasn’t a blubbering mess on live tv.

“So, Carmen, you are notorious in the kitchen industry, for calling all of your back of-house staff - Chef, as a term of endearment, or- furthermore a term of respect… Now that you’re so widely known at least in the Chicago area- but even more so the greater North America region, as being a very widely appreciated Chef, “ she giggled adorably, looking at me through her lashes before continuing.

“Does everyone that recognizes you on the street, and call you by your title of Chef? Maybe…Executive Chef Carmen? Do they treat you differently?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

I held back the urge to tease and joke with her, clearing my throat and trying to remember the answer we’d come up with together.

“Yes, Chef” I joked, giving her a playful smirk. “I notice when we- er- fuck sorry baby-“ I shook my head, looking at my lap nervously, biting the inside of my lip, squeezing her thigh.

“Ours” (Bear) she said softly, stroking the back of my hand the way that made my heart thump so hard it felt like it’d jump out of my chest, and I look up at her, my eyes bouncing between the freckles on her cheeks, every other thought dissolving like sand through my fingers.

“Allez, Ours, Tu vas y’ arriver.” (C’mon, Bear, You got this) she whispered, squeezing my hand assuringly.

I cleared my throat, newfound confidence due to her belief I could nail this coursing through me.

“My girl and I,” I continued confidently, “ “When we go out, especially in Chicago, or The City, but really any big city- people are more apt to give me a table if I call, So…She calls most of the time- and when we get there…the Exec. usually comes out to greet me after we’re settled, and tell me the meals no charge, but- My girl and I like a true experience, she keeps me honest” I leaned forward, pecking her lips gently and she smiles wide.

“Coeur faible connard” (soft-hearted asshole) she teased gently, mushing her nose with mine sweetly before stealing another kiss.

“Sorry-“ I pulled away teasingly “So…I shouldn’t offer a kiss to the host? Ce serait trop, bien?” (it’d be too much, right?) I joked and she rolled her eyes, grabbing my collar and pulling me back to her lips- kissing me hungrily.

“These lips are mine. Only mine” she mumbles before kissing me again. I smiled into her lips, rubbing my hands down her hips and squeezing the flesh beneath her dress gently.

“Mmm- baby” I pull away gently. “They said 15 minutes 4 minutes ago, I’gotta get mic’d.” I rest my forehead on hers and she cupped my cheeks, planting gentle sweet kisses all over my face.

“Remember” she said between various smooches over my face. “I’ll be in the first row” more kisses “5th seat from the left” kiss, kiss, kiss - “look at me if you get scared ” - kiss, kiss - “I’m with you the whole time.” One final lingering, sweet kiss on my lips. “You’re goin’ out there to kick ass and take names, Bear. Nos âmes sont toujours liées ensemble…” (Remember that our souls are always tied together…)

“Right” I said softly, looking up at her, memorizing each freckle adorning her cheeks for the millionth time. “Bien, Nos âmes sont à jamais liées, Chérie.” (Right, our souls are bound forever, Sweetheart.) I said lovingly, playing with the ends of her auburn curls between my nervous fingers.

She leans in, barely brushing my lips. “What do we say?” She whispers, so close her lips catch mine as she spoke.

“Laisse-le déchirer” (Let it rip) I said softly into her lips before kissing her passionately.

“Oui, Mon Ours. Laisse-le déchirer” (Yes, My Bear, Let it rip.) She said softly when she pulled away, gently running her knuckle over the veins of my neck, the action she only did while utterly exhausted, overly horny, or unable to mess with my hair.

“Je t’aime, mon miel” (I love you, my Honey) I whispered softly into her skin, feeling her gently rub over my back with her nails.

“Fais confiance en ton instincts et lâches-vous, Ours.” (Trust your instincts, and let go, Bear) She said softly into my ear.

I swallow tightly, racking over my brain through all the French she’d taught me- coming up blank, other instincts, and my own name.

“Mon instincts en bon pour votre ours?” (My instincts are good for your Bear?) I questioned softly, kissing her collarbone gently.

She giggles, “Trust your instincts- Fais confiance en ton instincts- And let go- et lâches-vous, Mon Ours.” (My Bear) She kisses my forehead sweetly

I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit and looking up at her through my lashes.

“Je te promets…Je vais suivre mon instincts” (I promise you…I’ll follow my instincts) I mutter into her skin as she gently strokes my cheek, my eyes fluttering shut at the soft touch.

“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours. Je crois en toi.” (I believe in you, My bear, I believe in you.) she whispered, rubbing soothing circles into my back.

“Tu me fais croire en moi, mon miel.” (You make me believe in myself, my honey) I kiss her neck gently and there was a soft tap at the door.

“Come In?” I said, the door creaking open a bit.

Were interrupted by a short brunette in a black T-Shirt and jeans, wearing a stage headset. “Mr.Berzatto, you’re live in 15 minutes…we need to get you mic’d - we can have a stage manager take your…wife…down to the family and friends section, her seat’s been reserved” A bright blush came to my cheeks at the assumption.

“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours” (I believe in you, my bear). Winnie said, getting off my lap and smoothing her dress down.

I gently tug down the hem of her dress out of habit, “Merci miel. Je t'aime tellement bébé. Je te chercherai, oui ?” (Thank you honey, I love you so much, baby. I’ll be looking for you, yeah?) I said, smoothing out the silky fabric over her bum and she nods, smiling big.

“Si tu fais le bien ce soir, je te laisserai m’avoir comme tu veux, Mon Sexy Chef Italien…” (If you do well tonight, I’ll let you have me any way you want, my sexy Italian Chef…) she whispered in my ear and my eyebrows raised, firey goosebumps rising from my neck to my ankles.

“Mmmm- Oui? Petit diable sexy…” (Yeah? Sexy little devil…) I said softly into her neck, patting her bum gently. “Tu dois juste bien te tenir une heure, bebe, être une bonne fille - Je serai alors vôtre, mon monde” (You only have to behave for an hour, baby, then I’m all yours- my world.)

She giggles, pulling away, “Not whore baby, say it like Taylor- say era” she said and my cheeks heat.

“Vraiment Bebe? Maintenant? Cours de français?” (Really Baby? French lessons? Now?) I ask as I rolled my eyes slightly, a smirk dancing on my lips.

“Très bien, pas maintenant. Laisse-le déchirer, Mon Ours.” (Fine, not now, let it rip, Bear) she said, tucking her purse under her arm and I actually roll my eyes.

“Pas maintenant?” (Not now?) I huff frustratedly, again not understanding the new word.

“Seigneur! Vous avez besoin d’une leçon de Français, cela signifiait - ‘ not now’ - Dork.” (Jesus! You need a French lesson, I said - ‘Fine, not now’ - Dork!) she pinched my cheek gently.

“God, je vous aime tellement.” (God, I love you so much.) I kiss her lips tenderly. The woman at the door clears her throat.

“Mr.Berzatto…sorry to interrupt, but you’re live in 13 minutes and-” Winnie cuts her off.

“and where is my escort?” She chirps with a friendly smile, turning around on the ball of her foot to face her.

“Uh- Sorry- they…Um…gimme a second” she quickly turned, walking down the hall briskly.

“Ahhh” Winnie said, plopping back in my lap comfortably. “Nous avons maintenant le temps pour une leçon de français, Ours!” (Now we have time for a French lesson, Bear!) she chirps and looks back at me.

I snort through my nose, “Tu as vu à quelle vitesse ils se….” (You saw how quickly they…) I try to think of the word, looking up at the ceiling and biting my lip. “se déplacer!!! Se déplacer ici, bébé” (Move!!! Move around here, baby.) I smile proudly and pat her side. “Tu vois, je peux être intelligent!” (See, I can be smart!).

“Mmm, je savais que tu es intelligent, mais nous devons travailler à renforcer ce triste ego, Ours” (Mmm, I knew you're smart, but we must work on strengthening that sad ego, Bear) she said and I crinkle my eyebrows, sad ego was all I really understood.

“Je comprends - ‘ l’ego intelligent, et triste ‘ – mais que signifie - ‘nous devons…ahhh- travailler? pour nous renforcer’?” (I understand the smart, and sad ego- but what does ‘we must work on … ahh - our confidence?’ mean?) I question, squeezing her waist gently. I knew she’d only give a proper lesson, if I was responding to her questions in French with what I knew.

“Ahhhh, Bon Ours ! 'nous devons travailler’ est ‘we must work’, ‘à renforcer ce’ est ‘to strengthen this’ “ (Ahhhh, Good Bear! We must work, to strengthen this) She said, pleased with my answer. I pat her hip gently, happy with the praise i’d earned.

“Tu es ma force Chérie…Mon tout” (You’re my strength, Honey...My everything) I said resting my forehead on hers. She puckered her lips and I lean in, giving her a sweet kiss.

“Hi! Mr.Berzatto- you’re on in 9, Mrs.Berzatto, I’m here to escort you to your seat.” A small blonde, dressed in the same black T-Shirt and Jeans the last person to interrupt us was.

“Je t'aime ours, souviens-toi de ce que dit Mikey” (I love you Bear, remember what Mikey would say) she said sweetly, getting up and pecking my lips.

I smiled softly, giving her one of the first lines she’d taught me in response. “On se reverra bientôt, bébé” (Meet again soon, baby). She smiled proudly, squeezing my hand before heading off with the blonde.

The brunette girl returned not to shortly after, connecting a mic under my shirt right below my throat, and leading me through the corridors. As we head down the hall, I heard an all too familiar laugh… Not one that I’d heard personally, but one that I’d heard hundreds of times while falling asleep on Winnies TV or her phone.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my head snapping towards the door that the sound came from. ‘JKS - SPECIAL GUEST - TAS ‘ A plain sheet of printer paper that was taped to the door read.

I blink a few times, reading over the paper 5 times, eyes almost popping out of my skull - TAS.

I reach out, grabbing the shoulder of the woman escorting me backstage. “T-A-S?!” I whisper shout at her. She quickly got the message.

“Oh- you didnt know” she said stupidly, looking at the door then me.

“I have to meet her” I whispered, a plan forming quickly in my mind. She smiled and nodded, looking at her watch.

“If she wants to meet you, sure, but you got a max of 4 minutes.” she said casually and my jaw drops.

That worked?!

I nodded quickly in response, trying to find words that wouldn’t embarrass Winnie, as she steps forward much too casually for my taste, and just knocks on the door.

“It’s unlocked!” the same voice I knew all too well calls and she looks at me, extending her hand towards the door.

“Shes a real sweetheart, but super chatty, so like I said- y’get four minutes.” she said and I swallowed thickly, fuck, I am supposed to open the dressing room door to the most famous popstar on Earth?! If I offend her, Winnie will absolutely break up with me.

I took a deep breath, looking at her momentarily before twisting the door handle. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my heart was in my throat.

Jesus Christ, I don’t fuckin care about this girl, I just care I make sure Winnie and Sadie have a seat at her show tomorrow night.

She looks up as the door opens, blue eyes meeting mine. “Oh! Hey! You’re that guy getting interviewed? The chef,right? My boyfriend has been dying to try your restaurant! He just hates asking for favors, so he hasn’t called to rent it out- I hear you’re super awesome! Oh my god- so sorry. I’m Taylor, it’s nice to meet you!” she said casually, sticking her hand out for me to shake.

It took insane amounts of casualty to not allow my jaw to fully unhinge at the sight of her. Winnie was right- she doesn’t edit her pictures - shes tall as fuck - shes like.. Taller then me?

I clear my throat, standing up a bit straighter, trying to find some semblance of self-control. “Yup- thats me, Carmen, Uh- Carmen Berzatto” I shake her hand, “Yeah- uh- wow….means alot, he’s on the uh- The Chiefs right?” I asked and she nods, smiling.

“Yup! Travis, I just sing- he’s so awesome, He loves Italian food even more than the field I think, ever since he saw that podcast you were on he's been stalking your menu! ” she giggled and I raised my eyebrows. She just sings?

“Uh- my girlfriend…Yeah- yeah…I don’t wanna embarrass her, but uh- Y’know, I could totally give you and your boyfriend any night you could possibly want, like- the whole restaurant, just you guys- me and my right hand will personally make your meals - fully on the house, If you’d do me like…..one little favor-but it’s… it’s fine- if not…” I said and she stands a bit straighter.

“I love helping, what can I do?” she grins. Why the fuck does she seem so normal…and nice aren’t popstars supposed to be bitchy mean-girls that would’ve made fun of me in high school?

“my girlfriend- she like…worships you- fuck - not like a weird way - you just like…inspire her? Like? Alot- Your songs, uh- fuck- hold on…Fearless, I know thats one… uh- Sparks Fly? Oh! That one too um with the guitar...Mine? I think? And then- Oh! The Archer - she loves that one, and then I only know 2 others she really likes - sad ones….Bon Iver? With that dude” I questioned and she nods

“Mmhmm! I think…Exile and Evermore” she nods and I snap.

“Thats it! Those ones- those are like…she loves you- she’s been…she’s been trying to get tickets for her and her best friend to your New York show this weekend since you announced it, she- fuck- she’d kill me if she knew I told you, but she’s cried because she didn’t get the tickets, shes been trying so hard and-”

“How many?” said the ginger sat next to her on the couch that was silent until now, and simply pretending I wasnt there while tapping away on a laptop. I look at her, slightly taken back it was that easy to convince her? Them both?!

“Uh-” I think for a moment- just fuckin send it, Carmen. If you’re gonna ask for a favor- ask for a damn favor. “F-Five? Like- f’me, and her, and - and she wants her best friend there, a-and-” the redhead interrupts me again.

“Done, Left of the diamond good? Second row? There is no row one” she questions

“Gosh Tree! Can you let him talk? Sorry about her, shes a time freak” Taylor scolds, looking back at me, “We would love to have you there, and I’d totally like to talk to your girlfriend when me and Trav decide to come by- she sounds super cool!” she said as the brunette tugged at my sleeve.

“Mr.Berzatto, sorry- 3 minutes till you’re live, we have to go.” she said and I nod.

“Thank you- Uh, Taylor,” What the fucking shit- I’ve stared at this woman nearly every night on Winnies phone screen - now shes just here , in front of me?!

“Course! Super excited to try out your restaurant- Tree will call” she said as the brunette woman tugs my sleeve harder, dragging me out the door.

Suddenly, I got the urge to tell her the thought that had been swarming in my head whenever we watched her tour movie for the past year. Even though we’d already were headed down the hall, her dressing room was still wide open so she’d hear me.

“The way you set up the ‘Tolerate It’ song is awesome, the whole performance is super touching- You have a great voice!!! But you kinda remind me of our cat when you knock the stuff off the table! Also- erm- f’r Winnie since she’d kill me if I didn’t say- Play Sparks Fly, And Mine- and Evermore all the way, please.” I called to her quickly as I was dragged away down the hal by the brunettel, hearing Taylor laugh loudly in response, causing a blush to form on my cheeks.

Winnie would be beyond pleased to know I got her to laugh.

“Done! And Thank you, Chef! I love Cats!!!” she called after us and I smiled wide.

“I know, Winnie told me! She loves Law and Order too! Olivia is a great name, my Niece is named Olivia!” I call back and I heard her laugh again.

What the actual fuck- Taylor Swift?! I just spoke to Taylor Swift!? Why do I feel…Starstruck? Jesus Christ I owe Richie for telling me to pack Winnie’s special concert bodysuit she's been working on forever just in case I found tickets for them.

“Here’s Berzatto sorry hes late- Main act wanted to talk to him- he’s live in 45” the brunette told the large guy she’d dropped me off in front of.

He quickly checks me over, adjusting my jacket without asking, and rolling over my sleeve quickly with a lint roller and strapping a mic pack to my back under my jacket, quickly connecting it to the wire under my shirt. “On your name, wave, smile, walk” he said.

“Alright We have Berzatto comin’ out- Live in 5, 4, 3, 2” he said into his headset, backing away from me quickly and the curtain started to draw.

My eyes dart over the crowd, the lights were blinding, music started and my mind swarms.

What the literal fuck- what the fuck - Wheres Honey? - I just met Taylor Swift? I'm about to be on live TV - Don’t fuck this up, be like Mikey, listen to Winnie - Breathe to 13.

My thoughts continued to race as the my eyes adjusted to the lights that were revealed from behind the curtain. “And Welcome Chicagos Favorite Chef- Carmen Berzatto! “ Jimmy said and just like the man ordered a few moments prior, On my name I started heading towards the arm chair, smiling and waving at the live audience as I was told.

By the time I’d shook his hand and sat down, I felt numb- The answers to the questions Winnie and I had drilled to my head, swarming like an angry swarm of bees.

“So, if you don’t know Carmen, Hes a Chef Prodigy from Chicago- he has two Michelin stars and isn’t even 30 as of yet, he has won the James Beard foundation award for up-and-coming chef as well as took home the award for the best new restaurant, all while he’s only been in the industry less than ten years,”

He continued talking as I scanned for Winnie. When I finally settled on her face I relax a bit, being able to think. She smiles wide when our eyes meet, blowing me kisses and waving excitedly. I couldn’t contain my smile as I look back over at him.

“So, Carmen, Welcome, we’ve been told you’ve never done a live interview before - but you have been to plenty of award shows, you’ve been on red carpets, done podcasts over the past year- and I must say, on behalf of the public- you are one snappy dresser, please, tell us about the suit” he said and I chuckled a bit.

“Yeah- thank you again for having me, It’s different being in front of a live audience but I’m honored to have even gotten the invite. But, uh- I really like Calvin Klein, their suits are just fantastic. My uh- my girlfriend though she’s the one who usually picks out my outfits for stuff like this, I trust er more then myself a lot of the time.” I said, my eyes finding hers again and she mouths an ‘I love you!’ Holding a hand heart up for me causing me to smile bigger.

“Thats right! We have your girlfriend here Winnie is it?” He asked and my cheeks go pink I thought they promised they wouldn’t go off script?!

“Yeah! Winnie,I could talk about her forever - she’s uh…she’s really special.” My eyes find hers again to see her blowing me more kisses. My heart flutters wildly she’s so perfect.

“I assure you, my wife dresses me too i’m sure most of our male guests are dressed by their women” He chuckles, getting a laugh from the crowd. “So tell us,” he continued “You had won the ‘Best New Restaurant’ last year at the James beard awards, congratulations on that!” he said and he and the crowd clap, the teleprompter putting up a picture of The Bear that we had on our website to show us it would be on screen.

“Now, i’d assume you get special treatment whenever you take the missus for a date night out on the town, right?” He asks and I chuckle, nodding a bit.

“Right, right - so uh when I call especially around Chicago I mean” I shrug “most of the Execs are my peers so - of course we’re gonna get a table pretty easy. But I was actually surprised when we came back to the city this only the second time I’ve been back since I left to uh, head back home t’Chicago and open The Bear, but when my girl and I were out a few nights ago, we were just walkin around Soho cause she loves shopping and I love to spoil her even more of course,” I said, earning a few ‘aw’ sounds from the crowd “and we pass this group of guys, and one of em just goes ‘Yo! Sup Chef’ and I turned around cause I thought y’know- I’d know them from culinary school or one of my old gigs, and he just goes ‘Dude your hot ones interview was insane you’re a beast’ and ahh I didn’t really know what to say I’ve never been like recognized like that before” I said and he nods with a chuckle.

“Speaking of your Hot Ones interview- that has blown up since you’d done it 4 months ago- it’s currently sitting at 17 million views, You’d filmed that here in the City, So in New York do they usually give you a table? Give you free meals all that like back in Chicago?” He questions.

“Well I like to try and keep it fair, fair as I can that is. So my girl, she calls up for us, usually puts the table under her name. But uh- yeah, yeah. We do get treated nice, they’ll bring out new stuff for us to try or give us a nice bottle of wine, which is great cause honey is a big red wine lover” I said my eyes flicking to her to see she was blushing, a wide proud smile plastered along her features, bringing a heat to my cheeks.

After the interview was over, I was escorted back to my dressing room and found an envelope waiting for me at the dressing table. I walked over and opened it, taking out five row 2 tickets for tomorrow nights Taylor show.

“Holy shit” I whispered to myself, staring at them in shock. She actually got me the tickets. Does this mean she’s really gonna come by the restaurant?! Winnie’s gonna flip. Fuck- we have to get back to the hotel or with all the excitement she’s gonna be exhausted and pissy on the flight home.

I heard my favorite thing in the world in the hallway, Winnie’s voice. I quickly tucked the tickets back in the envelope safely, and put it hidden in my inside breast pocket for safe keeping.

“Bearrr!” Winnie said excitedly as she opened the door before rushing over to me. I wrap my arms around her tightly, picking her up and spinning her around causing her to giggle “you did amazing ours (bear) so so amazing I’m so proud of you” she kisses all over my face and I smile, closing my eyes and relishing in her praise and attention.

“I love you baby, so much” I kiss her lips sweetly, wrapping her legs around my hips and hiking her up further on my waist. “I missed you” I said when I pull away, kissing down her neck and over her bare shoulder.

She giggled “I was right there, baby! The whole time” she runs her fingers through my hair and I hum at the feeling of her nails scratching that spot next to my ear.

“Mm you weren’t in my lap though” I said and sit on the couch, my hands rubbing over her thighs and her arms, anywhere I could feel her soft, supple skin.

“Were still going to that bar right?! You deserve to celebrate baby.” She said, playing with my hair gently. I adjusted her C pendant around her neck I’d gotten her when we started officially dating, trying to think up a quick excuse, she’s gonna need a lot of sleep for tomorrow I don’t want her grumpy and tired at the concert.

“I dunno baby…I think let’s just go back to the hotel yeah? Got up early this mornin’ wouldn’t you rather get some pizza and mozzarella sticks and watch a movie? Mm? We can cuddle? Have a nice bath?” I rub her arm and she pouted a bit.

“Okay, can we go tomorrow though?” She asks and I nod

“Course Mon Monde” (my world) I whisper and kiss her lips gently.

By the time we got back to the hotel it was already midnight, and I could tell by the way she was walking her heels were hurting her badly by now on the walk up to our room.

“Gotta get y’outta those shoes baby, y’re hips buggin’ you?” I ask, wrapping my arm securely around her waist. If I wasn’t holding the food, I’d already be carrying her.

“Mmhmm, tired too. Glad we didn’t go out” she leans into me as the elevator doors closed and I smooched her temple.

“Y’think I can’t tell when you’re exhausted, baby?” I teased, rubbing her side gently and she smiles.

“Yeahhh, yeah. But we rarely get to go out, Bear. You’re too busy, I love going out with you, you’re a fun dance partner” she said looking up at me with a tired smile.

I felt a blush creeping to my cheeks, smiling big. “I’ll only ever dance for you, my love” I kiss her forehead gently. When we got to the room, I set the boxes of food on the bed and helped her unzip her dress, grabbing her pajamas for her “get comfy princess” I told her before grabbing my grey sweatpants and white T shirt, shrugging off my jacket.

“You look really sexy in that suit, baby. I wanna see you in suits more often, hopefully this interview will lead to more live ones…y’did so so sooo good bear, everyone was laughin’ and they really seemed t’like you” she slips off her bra, putting on my old ‘the beef’ shirt and some Nike leggings.

“Thank you angel, it’s just really fuckin stressful” I said and started to unbutton my shirt.

“I know, but no one is as good at handling stress then you, bear. You’re strong. Mon gros ours fort” (my big strong bear) she comes over, untucking my shirt and unbuttoning it the rest of the way. “Mmm you’re lucky there’s pizza waiting and I hate when it’s cold” she kisses down my neck while rubbing her hands over my bare chest and I smile, rubbing her back gently, caressing over the scar on her hip with my thumb.

“Tu es une vilaine petit fille” (you are such a naughty little girl) I spank her gently and she giggles, looking up at me with those fuckin bedroom eyes she always did.

“je suis ta petite pute, chef” (I’m your little whore, chef) she said, leaning in and kissing me deeply. I chuckle softly in to her mouth, squeezing her bum.

“Tu as une bouche bien sale, Bebe” (you have a filthy mouth baby) I told her, brushing her curls from her in front of her eyes. “Le temps de manger ma douceur, c’est un grand” (it’s time to eat, my sweetness, you have an important day tomorrow.) I said and she raises her eyebrows.

“What’re we doin?” She asked, sitting on the bed as told and opening the pizza box.

“Patience, mon petit lapin” (patience, my little bunny) I smooth her hair gently and kissed the top of her head before taking off my shirt and dress pants, slipping on my pajamas before sitting down.

“Can I get a hint?” She pleads, taking a piece of pizza out and having a bite.

“Pas de conseils, seulement de la patience.” (No hints, only patience) I told her, grabbing a slice for myself and having a bite.

“Je suis impressionné par ton bébé, français, as-tu étudié sans moi?” (I'm impressed by your French baby, did you study without me?) She said softly, and I furrow my brow, thinking as I chew.

“Je sous…” (I’m under) I repeat as I think to myself, “why? Did I say something wrong?” I pout a bit, looking at her, thinking she was saying she was under impressed with my French and that I should be studying more.

“Bebe, Je suis, suis, my love, Je, Suis” she said, sweetly.

“Ohhhh- ohh…you are impressed, not under impressed” I smiled a bit and she rolls her eyes playfully.

“”Mon ours n’a jamais rien fait d’autre que m'impressionner ” (my bear, never does anything but impress me.) she strokes my cheek gently. “Mon sexy homme” (my sexy man) she whispered and gently brushed back my hair.

I blushed more, my cheeks surely being a shade of bright red that matched hers. “Je t’aime mon gros ours sexy” she said and I smirked, knowing ‘I love you my big sexy bear’ anywhere

“Oooo” she said happily as she opened the box of mozzarella sticks. “Oooo!!! And you got extra sauce! I love you so so much” she kisses my cheek and I chuckle.

“You and cheese, I swear you’re half mouse sometimes” I tease and she giggled, dipping it in the sauce and taking a bite.

“Mmmm-“ she hums before continuing “I would love to be a mouse. Would you love me still if you woke up one morning and there was a note on my pillow that a fae turned me into a mouse? Would you keep me?” She asked, dunking again and taking another bite.

I snort, “a mouse? I mean…we couldn’t have sex anymore so that would suck, but it would be you. Wait- would you love me if you were a mouse?” I asked taking a bite of my pizza.

“Of course- well..maybe more so because I would fully depend on you to translate for me, unless I was a mouse that could speak. In which case you’d not need a note because you’d wake up to me making a comfy little nest in your hair and I’d tell you I was a mouse and now I’d sleep on your head like Ratatouille. Ooo and during the day I could sit on your shoulder, you could carry me around in your pocket!!” She ruffles my hair playfully and I smile, shaking my head at her adorable constant need to discuss out of this world scenarios and how we’d each react to them.

“That would be very fun, well- maybe it would put off customers if they knew the head chef walks around with a mouse on his shoulder, but I wouldn’t care cause we’d get to be together all the time ma petit souris” (my little mouse) I shrugged with a smile, taking another bite.

She smiles proudly, gently kissing my jaw. “Ahh en francais? Quel bon garçon” (ah in French? What a good boy) she praised softly, squeezing my bicep sweetly, kissing my shoulder. “Mmm what about…” she picks her pizza back up, taking a bite and thinking for a moment “oo!! What if right now like - I just burst into glitter. Like. Poof and was gone? What would you do?” she giggled and I laughed.

“Where did you go?! I would find you obviously, or I’d never stop looking for you. I’d give up everything and become a private investigator to find you” I shrug, poking her cheek playfully.

“No like dead gone what if I spontaneously combusted into glitter and like- that was my death. I’m gone. Poof. Nothing more then little sparkly granules” she muses and I raise my eyebrows.

“Dead? Well…I’d probably start sobbing and be on my hands and knees picking up every little piece to keep in a bag forever and I’d take it with me everywhere.” I said and she pouted.

“Stop you are too sweet. I thought you were gonna be like ‘welp guess I’m gettin the vacuum out’ “ she laughs and I gasp, poking her belly.

“The vacuum?! What - was that what your answer was gonna be?” I chuckled and she grinned wide.

“Maaaybe. But of course I’d be kidding!!!! Ooo maybe I’d turn you in to a pretty eyeshadow.” She pecks my lips and I squeeze her cheeks with my hand gently, a pout forming on her lips at the action.

“Y’re fuckin weird and I love it” I smooch her lips again and she giggles in to my mouth lightly.

When we were finished eating, she took her regular spot on my lap as she scrolled through videos on her phone, giggling and sending some of them to Sadie.

Shit. Sadie. She has to be on a fuckin plane like- now.

I clear my throat “s’rry bunny, can you uh- I gotta go to the bathroom.” I said and she rolls off me without looking up, stretching herself out on her side of the bed. I slickly grab my phone without her noticing and go off to the bathroom, shutting the door and leaning against it.

I found Sadie’s contact and hit dial, praying to god she was up and would see it or at least answer it if it woke her up. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when I heard her pick up.

“What did you do” she grumbles in to the phone, knowing that I’d usually only ever call her this late if I’d fucked up majorly and had to have her talk Winnie down from a freak out.

“N-nothing. No- sorry f’wakin’ you- listen, I’m gonna get on Google and get you, Eva, and Richie a flight. Listen to me Sadie I can only say it once she’s probably listening you know how she is. I got tickets! 5 tickets!! Fuckin floor” I said quietly in to the phone, knowing she’d know exactly what I was talking about since every time she Winnie and I would hang out, my cellphone and laptop would both be held hostage as they forced me to scoure different Internet forums and Facebook groups trying to find tickets for them.

“ARE YOU FUCKING ME RIGHT NOW?!?! SHES GONNA FUCKING SHIT HERSELF AND THROW UP- NO- SHES GONNA EXPLODE. HOW DID YOU FUCKING MANAGE!!” She shrieks in to the phone so loudly I had to remove it from my ear and I could still hear her perfectly.

“Shhhhhh!! Shhh! Contain your screaming for tomorrow night - and don’t tell her she won’t be able to sleep. But fill in Richie, I’m gonna buy your flights and hotel rooms and shit and send it to you in a groupchat, and please for the love of god- if you can, go help him pack- the last time he went on a fuckin trip the jagoff took a rediculous amount of socks but somehow forgot a shirt? Just please- Eva is gonna be so torn up if he forgets something” I plead and she laughs.

“Noted. Did you need me to go get Pooh’s shit?” She asked

“No- wait fuck the bracelets? Her special bracelets the uh- the ones on that hand heart thing in her room. All of em - and she has a-a bucket in her closet full of em she’s been makin em every day pretty much she wants to like give em out or somethin. Put em in a bag- wait- no don’t mix them.” I said nervously fuck. Planning a concert this intense is not my forte.

“I got it I got it. How the fuck did you secure those tickets, Carmen?” She asked

“Bear! Bear come look come LOOK!!” Winnie squeaks from the other room “PEOPLE SAY TAYLOR WAS THE SPECIAL GUEST ON JIMMY KIMMEL TONIGHT DID YOU SEE HER BACK THERE?!”

Fuckin shit. Leave it to Taylor’s cult to be tracking her every move. Hell- what am I saying the cults president is outside the door.

“Gotta go” I whisper in to the phone and hung up quickly, taking a deep breath.

“Really baby? I uh- no- no way, I’m sure that she has so much security I was on a whole other side of the building I bet.” I call back as casually as I could, my fingers shaking as I went online and finding the earliest flights I could.

“Carmen we were sharing air.” She said, starstruck. “Sharing AIR BABE” she repeats and I laugh, some of my tension desolving.

“Mm one step closer to meeting the leader” I teased as I quickly check out with 3 plane tickets in to JFK thank god the site had Apple Pay so I didn’t have to sneakily grab my wallet.

“Come onnn are you almost done? I wanna snuggle” she whines and I sigh softly to myself, hiding anything from her is the absolute worst.

“Mm a few more minutes baby” I said, calling the hotel we were staying at currently.

“Ritz Carlton front desk, how can I help you?” The woman on the end answered.

“Hello I- I um - I’m staying here? Like- now? A-and I am gonna be having guests come I need to add 2 rooms for tomorrow on to my reservation? I’m in room 313” I said quietly hoping Winnie couldn’t hear.

“Oh! Alright, there are 2 rooms available on floor 3, room 388 and room 389, both have a king size bed should this suffice?” She asks.

“Sure that’s great” I said rubbing my chin nervously.

“And how many guests?” She asks

“Three” I reply, hearing her type and click around on her computer.

“And their names please.” She said.

“Sadie Adamu, and Richie and Eva Jerimovich” I said quietly.

“Oh ok so Adamu can you spell that?” She said and I run my hand through my hair anxiously.

“A-d-a-m-u. And Jerimovich is J-e-r-i-m-o-v-i-c-h “ I replied, biting my lip when I hear Winnie again.

“Who’re you talkin’ to bear?” She calls. I squeeze my eyes shut

Fuckin hell.

“Alright! Got it all in the system, check in is at 2 pm, is there anything el-“ I cut her off

“Nope! Thanks bye” I quickly hang up the phone and took a deep breath and put my phone back in my pocket, rubbing over my face.

“Bear?” She called again.

I opened the bathroom door and see her laying cuddled up in a ball on my side of the bed, holding the phone only a few inches from her face.

“Give em’ “ I extend my hand with a grin and she rolls her eyes, sitting up a bit and squinting at the nightstand.

“Threw em there” she points at the nightstand generally before plopping back down.

“You are a crusty little thing mon souris” (my mouse) I pick up her contacts from the nightstand and go toss them in the bin before coming back and laying down after flicking off the lamp.

“Who were you talkin to?” She asked, looking over at me.

“Oh uh- Syd…she sent this voice note askin’ about the schedule I was just explaining some stuff to ‘er” I said casually, genuinely surprised I was able to come up with a lie on the spot.

“Oh, ok” she said and turned her phone off, grabbing her kindle and snuggling in to my chest.

“Tv off please” she mutters and I silently thank god she was giving in to her exhaustion.

“Oui ma cherie” (yes my darling) I kissed her forehead lightly and grabbed the remote,clicking the tv off and putting the remote on the nightstand before settling in and sighing softly.

“Mm. s’quiet without your thing.” I said, alluding to her noise machine. She snorts a laugh.

“It’s cute that you miss it” she said, turning the brightness down on her tablet. I wrap my arm around her waist, tucking my other hand between her thighs per usual.

“What’re you readin’ Angel?” I asked, stroking her stomach with my hand gently.

“Our book” she said softly and I hum.

“Which part?” I question quietly and she taps the screen so it’d flip to the next page

“Favorite one” she hums and I smiled softly.

“Up for reading t’me, miel?” (Honey)

“Any time ours” (Bear) she said before beginning.

“ ‘Open your heart, and someone will come. Someone will come for you, Edward. But first, you must open your heart.’ Said the old doll. ‘I am done with being loved. And I am done with loving- for it’s too painful.’ Edward replied. ‘Oh pish’ said the doll. ‘Where is your courage?’ She asked Edward. ‘Somewhere else, I guess’ he replied. ‘You disappoint me.’ She said. ‘You, Edward, disappoint me greatly. If you have no further intention of loving or being loved, then this whole journey is pointless. You might as well leap from this shelf, and let yourself shatter into a million little pieces. Get it over with. Get it all over now.’ Edward couldn’t come up with a response, so he stared out the window, and he saw his beloved stars. But for the first time In his life, he’d felt no comfort by their sparkling presence, shining back at him through the curtians. He instead, felt mocked. ‘You are down there all alone.’ The stars seemed to say to him. ‘And we are up here, in the constellations together.’ - ‘But…I have been loved.’ Edward thinks at the stars. ‘What difference does that make, when you’re all alone now?’ The stars seem to say back.

And Edward could think of no answer to that question.”

I made sure to get up early, knowing Winnie would be sleeping as long as I’d let her. I got dressed and brushed my teeth before heading out to go get her breakfast.

I stopped at chick fil a, getting her favorite meal in the morning time, and then went to this floral shop that was on the way back that i’d passed a cute flower shop on the walk back to the hotel that i’d passed a million times on my commute to work while living here, picking out a big bouquet of pink, purple, yellow and blue flowers. Lover colors Winnie will say when she sees them. At the counter while I was checking out there were big foil heart shaped ‘I love you’ balloons, so, of course I got one of those as well.

I quietly opened the hotel room door, setting the flowers tied to the balloon on my side of the bed and setting the food bags down on her nightstand. I gently sat down on her end of the bed, the dip of my weight causing her to stir and reach out for me on my side, but when she instead felt the paper of the bouquet she opened her eyes, blinking a few times and looking back at me.

“G’mornin sleeping beauty.” I said softly, taking her hand and kissing it after she got a good stretch in.

“Mmm. Glasses please, are those flowers?” She asks sleepily, sitting up and yawning. I hand them to her and she puts them on, pouting.

“Bear, oh my god c’mere” she flops into my arms and hugs me tight. “I love you, thank you. Y’re the best boyfriend in the whole wide world” she kisses my neck sweetly and I rub her back, smiling and kissing her head gently.

“No I just try and show my baby how much she deserves” I pull her into my lap, kissing all over her face and she giggles.

“Stoppp I have morning breath” she whines shying her face into my chest and I rub her hair gently.

“Mmm smells ok t’me angel, c’mon I got your favorite,” I grab the bag and she gasps happily, taking it from me and giving me a big kiss.

“You’re the best” she said again, sitting in her spot criss cross and looking up, following the string of the balloon and she looks back at the flowers, then the balloon again and her lip starts to quiver.

“Bear” she whispers “Y’re too good” she said, tears pooling her eyes at the thoughtful gesture.

“No tears baby, you know if you cry, I cry” I clear my throat, wiping under her eyes gently. It was my biggest weakness, and I’m not a cryer. Usually, for anything else, but for some reason, when she starts to cry- I can’t help it. It’s totally uncontrollable.

“ ‘m sorry” she sniffles and takes my hand, kissing gently. “I just…I love you bear. So so much” she said and I smiled, tucking her hair gently behind her ear.

“I love you more baby, look-” I opened up the bag for her, grabbing the little ‘chicken minis’ she loved and setting them in her lap as well as the hashbrowns and the many sauces.

“They always hound me about the bigger bottle- and I have to tell them every time ‘no she only likes this sauce with this food but she wants to have enough’ “ I explained, grabbing the many little packets of ‘Polynesian’ and their house sauce she loved so much.

She giggled, opening up the hashbrowns. “You’re the cutest” she said, dipping a hash brown in to the sauce and popping it in her mouth.

“Oh!” I said and grab her frozen coffee out of the little drink carrier, and popping a straw in for her “extra chocolate, for my honey of course” I said and set it down on the nightstand.

“I fall more in love with you every day, mon ours” (my bear) she leans forward, pecking my lips. “Open” she said softly and I oblige. She popped a hash brown in my mouth and I amile gratefully.

“Y’got food too I hope” she said and I nod as I chew.

“Mmhmm, their chicken one” I opened up the smaller bag, grabbing out 2 of the chicken biscuits I’d gotten for myself and she laughs.

“Yeah? Their chicken one?” She repeats and I raise my eyebrow, looking at her. “All they serve is chicken, baby” she giggled and I roll my eyes smiling.

“A chicken biscuit. Two actually” I snort, grabbing the ranch packets out of my bag.

“Mmm” she hums as she sips her coffee. “They always get it right when you get it bear they never make it this chocolatey for me. The girls at the counter must think you’re cute.” She muses teasingly, eating one of her little brioche chicken things that she was convinced I couldn’t replicate perfectly, no matter how much I’d tried.

I really think she just loves to see me keep yearning to impress her, frisky little devil.

“I think that you just like it more when Y’re happy little butt gets to stay snuggled up in bed, and it taste better cause you didn’t have to work for it” I teased and she laughs, scrunching her nose adorably.

“Maaaaybeee - but don’t pretend like every time we go out you aren’t getting hit on, mister sexy chef” she splays her legs over my lap, crossing her ankles.

“Oh yeah” I roll my eyes, taking a bite of my sandwich after pouring a good amount of ranch on. “Totally - like you remember that lady at Coach yesterday when I didn’t know that bag was like 30k and she told me to ‘get my sticky fingers off that bag’ she was all over me, babe“ I snort and she laughs, leaning against the headboard.

“Dude - I’m surprised I didn’t fucking jump her with the way she was talking to us. I am never getting a coach bag now baby, don’t even think about it. Syd was right- Prada was the way to go. I can’t waittt to show her oh my god. Sadie is gonna flip” she said and I smiled, nodding. Mmhmm when she gets here in about 3 hours, she and you will both be flipping out.

“Oh! Shit! I didn’t check” she put down her food, grabbing her phone and going on to the Ticketmaster app and my eyes widen. They better not be dropping tickets today. I wanted to wait for Sadie to get here and tell her together and if she tries to buy them i’ll have no choice.

“Oh- I already did baby. I did as soon as I got up” I lied, feeling the envelope in my inner breast pocket containing the tickets burning a hole in to me. The taste of the words on my tongue were bitter knowing they held no truth, but this was a good lie. A lie that will make her ultimately happy.

“Oh…” she pouts sadly, her shoulders hunching slightly in defeat as she refreshes the empty Ticketmaster page just in case. “I feel selfish…but…I just love her s’much. I know I’ve seen her already but-“ she sighs, shaking her head. “I know it’s bratty, but Sadie and I have the most fun at her concerts. I don’t even know how she’d get here in time, what am I even saying. And I didn’t even take my outfit.” She puts her phone down. “No taylor talk today, ok? It’ll just make me sad.” She took a sip of coffee and I nodded, rubbing her leg gently.

My heart ached seeing her so upset. I felt the words pressing at the back of my throat begging to come out, to comfort her, to tell her ‘it’s ok baby I got them already Sadie’s on her way, Richie and Eva are coming! This is everything the three of you have been talking about since she announced it, I love you angel please be happy.’

But instead, I squeeze her calf gently. “No taylor talk.” I nod. When we’d finished eating, she had gone to have a ‘everything’ shower which was code for ‘leave me alone, I need to get shit done’ shower, and I picked up the room, throwing our garbage away and setting the flowers on the desk for her.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and when I saw it was Richie calling I picked it up right away.

“Guess where we are cousinnn!!” He said excitedly in to the phone

“Cousin Carmy were coming to see you AND TAYLOR SWIFT!!” Eva squeals excitedly and I chuckle.

“Jesus Christ I’m deaf” I hear Sadie grumble.

“Someone doesn’t like mornings, Cousin you send a drill sergeant that hates mornings to my house at 5 am to announce we’re seeing Taylor swift?!” He asks and I chuckle.

“Staff Sergeant. Thank you!” She snips and I snorted.

“Cause I know a Marine is the only person that could get your ass out of bed before first light on a day off, how far out are you?” I asked, sitting on the bed.

“Well we got the rental, Sadie is driving - the GPS saysss….” He groans. “An hour and forty six minutes with traffic” he grumbled.

“Welcome to New York, cousin. Let me know when you guys get here and drop off your shit. We’re in room 313 y’guys are gonna be 388 and 389” I said

“I want 389!” Sadie and Eva said at the same time and I crinkle my brows.

“What’s with- oh my god” I roll my eyes. “Cause of 1989? I can’t stand you guys…” I chuckle.

“She can have it cause I’m so mature” Sadie teased and I snort.

“Thanks, bug. I’ll s’ya soon. Drive safe.” I said before ending the call. I heard the water cut off, Winnie belting to Taylor songs per usual.

I took the opportunity while she was still in the bathroom to call and make a reservation at Freemans - for tomorrow afternoon, a spot Winnie had been gushing about ever since none other than Taylor was seen there a while back.

I had no shame this time in mentioning my first and last name, knowing they’d pull out every stop for us since the host asked if I was the owner of the bear, the restaurants owner must know of me.

The door clicks open just after I hang up and Winnie paused her music, coming out in a pair of panties and one of my white shirts, her hair still dry since I assume she tied it back.

“Hey hey” she said, coming and sitting in my lap. I rub my hand up her thigh gently.

“Hey beautiful, you have a nice shower?” I mutter in to her neck, gently kissing a trail of butterfly kisses up to her jaw.

“Mmhmm” she interlocks our fingers, gently squeezing my hand. “What’s my surprise? I love your surprises, Bear” she kisses my lips sweetly and I raise my eyebrows in surprise her fuckin memory sometimes she always remembers the shit she shouldn’t.

“Mmm” I hum softly into the kiss, swiping my tongue against her bottom lip and kissing her deeper, running my hands up her sides, hoping if I fluster her enough the question will slip her mind.

She moaned softly, running her fingers through my hair and tugging lightly, scratching at the places she knew made me melt into her.

“Baby” she said into my lips. “What’re you hiding from me” she kissed the corner of my mouth gently and I look up at her, my cheeks bright pink.

I’m not the one that’s supposed to be flustered right now.

I bit my lip gently and rest my forehead on her chest, not wanting to look at her pleading hazel eyes.

“s’a surprise honey” I said into her shirt. She rubbed my back gently.

“Will I get my surprise today?” She asked.

“Course, like less then 2 hours yeah? Not much longer baby” I kiss her collar bones gently and she moves to straddle my waist, my hands moving down to cup the flesh of her backside as I usually did when she sat like this to support her.

“S’we have enough time to play” she said softly in my ear, pushing up the hem of my shirt. Her cold hands made my abs and stomach tighten, hissing softly at the contact.

“Ye’ baby - fuck Y’re hands are freezing.” I squeeze her ass gently, resting my head back as she kisses my neck and throat, gently nibbling along my jaw. “Then warm me up bear” she whispered into my skin.

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

“Fuckfuckfuck y-yours- i’m yours, no one could ever make me feel so good, Carmy” I whine out, tugging his hair as he devours me. Icy blue eyes darkened with lust were piercing my gaze, his nose nudging my clit causing me to let out a breathy moan as his tongue plunged in and out of my core.

“That’s right, I fuckin own this pussy baby” he said hotly, my arousal dripping down his chin, his lips plump and oh so pink from the delicious assault on the place I needed him most.

“Please” I said, tears from the overwhelming pleasure were gathering in the corners of my eyes at this point, and he had been practically humping the mattress to get himself off as he ravished me. I knew he wanted me as much as I needed him.

“Please what honey?” He sat up, one knee on the bed, hovering over me, his chain dangling in my face as he rubs my clit. I writhe and squirm beneath his touch, already 2 orgasms deep but I was drunk off the pleasure. I couldn’t tell him to stop, it was like a high I never wanted to come off of.

“F-ahh” my hips buck wildly, eyes screwing shut and nose scrunching as that oh so familiar intense wave of pleasure begins crashing at the dam doors of my stomach.

“Fuck me, fuckmefuckme Bear, pleeeeaseeee” I beg out pulling him in to a deep kiss. He huffs a chuckle in to my mouth, taking his hand away from my center to pull himself free, covering his cock in my arousal that was soaking his hand.

“Y’gonna be a good girl ‘n not get greedy? Mm? I don’t want y’t’be sore baby” he said, lining himself up at my entrance.

I huff sassily. “I want all of your cock, not just a little” I pout and he puts his tip in, my mouth quickly dropping in pleasure and eyes fluttering shut. I grabbed his hand, wrapping it around my throat and looking up at him.

“Mmm you wanna be my little whore?” He coos, leaning in and kissing my lips sweetly.

“Please…” I said softly and I moan as I felt his hand tighten around my throat and he sinks in further.

“Fuck- s’fuckin tight Angel” his grip around my throat tightens a bit as he tries to hold himself back from rutting in to me fully before he stretched me out.

I bit my lip, my eyebrows furrowing together in pleasure at the mix of the lightness filling my head and the warmth it brought.

“Feel good princess?” He pushes in deeper and I moan in response.

“S’so good Carm- fuck I love your cock” I whine out, my back arching when he hits my gspot.

“Half way baby. Be my g’girl.” He strokes my throat with his thumb gently and I nod quickly.

“I’m trying, feels fuckin amazing bear I can’t help it” I said and he kisses around my chest, sucking on my nipple and grunting in to me when he felt my core tighten around him as I was brought to the very tip of the edge.

“Let go” he said as he pushed in fully, the sensation causing my third orgasm to wash over me like a harsh crack of hot lightning. My walls clench around him pulsingly, my back arching and hot thick strings of cries, whines, and moans between curses spilled from my lips.

He released his hold on my neck, pressing his lips to my forehead, thrusting harder faster. “Mmm fuck. Can y’give me another one honey? C’mon, I know my good girl can give me another one.” He muttered and I smile up at him, kissing his jaw gently.

“So determined Bear- mmm- there-there don’t fuckin move, there. I-I promise I’ll give you another” I plead, my nails dragging down his back and he moaned at the contact.

“Shit yesss baby. Fuckin scratch me up please I love that shit fuck Y’re like a horny little cat” he grunts, fucking in to the same spot harder, holding himself up by the mattress.

The only sounds leading my lips were incoherent mumbled profanities and short ‘uh-uh-uh’ as he pounded me harder in to the mattress. A few short minutes later I was cumming again soaking is thighs and all the way up to his stomach, he grunts approvingly.

“Fuuuck that’s my good girl. Shiiit y’re so fuckin’ wet baby. My messy little girl” he praises and I feel my cheeks heat, a warm pool of liquid settling by the dip of my bum.

“Shit m’sorry I didn’t mean to make such a mess” I said embarrassedly and he shook his head lightly.

“Babe its hot as fuck. I wish I could make you do this every fuckin time.” He holds my breasts to keep them from bouncing, thumbing my nipples over my jewlery as he continues snapping his hips.

I whine, my hips arching up in overstimulation but that just burried him deeper. I cry out and he quickly puts his arm under my hips to support them, holding me in that position.

“Holy fuckkkk” he moans out, eyes fluttering shut in bliss and head falling back as he picks up his pace. “Fuck Angel you are fuckin perfect. Here touch Y’re belly baby, feel me” he kisses along my neck and I reach my hand down, gasping as I press on my stomach and feel his cock driving in and out of me.

“Fuck oh my god” I said, a laugh falling from my lips followed by a moan, “wow. This is what they mean when they say rearrange my guts” I kiss him deeply, tugging his curls firmly between my fingers and he moans into my mouth.

“Sh-iiiit s-so close…” he whined out and I smile lazily, kissing a trail of gentle kisses over his jaw as he continued. His thrusts were becoming stuttering, sloppy, and much less powerful. Now it was my turn to push him over the ledge.

“je t'aime, mon ours” (I love you, my bear) I whisper sweet and sensually in his ear, and he grunted, spilling in to me with one final thrust, bottoming out and slamming our lips together in a heated, wanting kiss, keeping himself buried deep inside me while his cock pulses through his comedown.

“I fuckin love you Winnow” he breathes in to my skin leaving wet hot kisses over my chest and collarbones.

He rolls over, laying next to me and catching his breath. “We need to shower” he said after a while of cuddling and I look at him, my brows furrowing.

“Why” I question, resting my hand on his chest and wrapping my leg around his.

“Cause we got things t’do baby, y’re surprise” he smiled a bit, patting my bum gently.

“My legs are useless at the moment. You want me t’shower I need t’be carried” I mused, gently running my fingers over the curve of his abs.

“Mmhmm that can be arranged” he grabs his phone, angling it away so I couldn’t see who he was texting before turning the phone back normal and googling the hotel we’re staying at, calling the front desk.

Okay, he’s really hiding something.

“Yeah hey- me and my uh…” he looks down at me “wife- we need the sheets changed in room 313…yeah- nope that’s fine we’re gonna be in the bathroom so- alright. Yup, thank you.” He said and hung up. I wiggle my eyebrows.

“Wife?” I teased with a big grin.

His cheeks go pink. “You know I’ll make you my wife someday. People seem t’take us as like… a legit couple when I say that…when I just call you my girl people think we’re kids ‘er somethin” he rubs my back lightly.

“Mmm…i’m just teasin’ baby..but- I dunno… I like that- it just sounds right coming from your mouth. I never thought of myself as wifey material but…Winnow Berzatto. That sounds nice, don’t ya think?” I kiss his collarbones and he swallows thickly.

“Yeah…yeah I uh- I kept thinkin’ about that last night when they called you that..I liked that a lot too..” he said softly, stroking my hair.

“Well” I stick up my ring finger, wiggling it in front of his face “Whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting” I peck his lips and he hums, deepening our kiss and running his hand up my side.

“Thank you baby” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “F’r bein’ so patient w’me” he said quietly, rubbing my lower back in small circles.

“ ‘fcourse Carm, I’d wait forever for you” I kiss his nose and he smiles big, a blush painting his cheeks a cherry red.

“Y’wont need to wait that long baby, I’m just…just gettin’ my shit together” he sighs a bit, rubbing his hand up my back. “C’mon koala, up” he pats my bum and I release his leg, sitting up against the headboard.

He stood up, coming to my side and I lifted my arms. He lifted me up simply, holding me bridal style and carrying me to the bathroom.

“Mmm mon gros ours sexy, et fort..” (mm my big strong, sexy bear..) I said into his ear, nibbling his earlobe with my teeth and he sets me down on the bathroom counter with a smile.

“Tu es déja ton…” (you already got your…) he stops, thinking for a moment “ahhh Tu es déja ton remplis ma sale cherie.” (You already got your fill my dirty darling) he smiled proudly, turning on the water.

“Ooohhh look at mon petit ours français sexy” (oooh look at my sexy little french bear) I giggled, crossing my ankles and leaning against the mirror.

“Mmhmm, I have the sexiest little professor” he comes over, kissing my lips sweetly. I hum in to the kiss, playing with his curls gently. We made out until the bathroom was thick with steam, and our lips didn’t disconnect as we stepped into the oversized walk in shower.

He rested my back against the wall, hands firmly supporting my bum as he held me up, my ankles crossed at his tailbone, thighs squeezing his waist gently. I smiled, my eyes fluttering shut and resting my forehead on his shoulder as he kissed my neck.

“Feels good Bear…Y’gonna mark me up, Carmy?mm? Show everyone you own me?” I bit down on the ball of his shoulder playfully and he groans in satisfaction.

“Not yet baby, Y’gonna wanna take pictures today” he said softly, leaving sweet tender kisses along my jaw bone to my lips. “Cmon princess, can I set you down and get y’washed up? We can’t be late” he pleads.

I sigh softly “fine. Now I’m interested though, I know you like takin’ pictures of me, but I rarely think to take them myself. What’re you up to, Bear?” I sit down on the marble bench built in to the shower as soon as he’d set me down, my legs still feeling quite shakey under me.

“It’s a surprise princess, I told you.” He grabbed my body wash and a washcloth, sudsing it up “c’mere stinky” he teases and I gasp, feigning great offense, clutching my necklace.

“Stinky?! You made me stinky!! With all your man sweat.” I stick out my tongue at him and he chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist and hoisting me to my feet, gently washing over my body.

“Oh yeah, but if I remember you were all pleasepleaseplease begging for my stink missy” he mimics me and I gasp, hitting his chest lightly and laughing.

“Do not make fun of me, y’know what- fine. I’ll just suck your soul out later and then mock you when we’re done about how your like ‘aughhhh ah-ooo-shit, fuck honey yesss” I mimicked his whines and shrugged. He laughs “Whatever was left of my soul you’ve already sucked out months ago, little vampire. So good luck cause I’m all dry.” he teased.

By the time we were done in the shower, I had felt much better. The hot water worked it’s magic on my sore muscles, and Carmy even laid with me and was giving me a long, relaxing lotion massage.

He's really laying this whole surprise thing on thick.

“Baby” I said softly, looking down at him and his gaze meets mine, continuing to massage my hip since it was so tight after everything this morning and having to walk around in heels last night.

A blush comes to my cheeks and my throat suddenly felt tight, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about my question, but I also didn’t want him to do anything just to appease me.

“Are you…is the surprise proposing? Cause I don’t want …I don’t want to get married until you’re ready baby I’m ok with my necklace I don’t need a ring I know you love me” I said softly and he smiles, nodding.

“No baby, I’m not. Sorry if that’s disappointing, but like I said, I promise at some point, I will- and I don’t think you’d be able to handle all that excitement t’night.” He kissed my knee gently and continued on massaging.

“Oh..ok” I said and went back to scrolling through twitter on my phone. He digs his phone out of his pocket when it buzzes immediately, almost too quick, and sends a fast response before setting it on the bed and patting my hip gently.

“Put on some pants, can’t be poohin’ it we have guests comin’” he teased. I giggled at the silly joke. Whenever he’d come over and I was in nothing but panties and a shirt, he’d always say I was “living up to my name” since Winnie the Pooh never wears pants.

“Who’s visiting?” I asked, getting up and grabbing my fluffy pajama pants.

“You’ll see princess” he hums, taking a dress bag out of his suitcase and a black bag, hanging them on the closet door as there was a knock.

“Y’wanna get the door angel?” He asked and I raised a brow, slipping my feet into my bear paw slippers and shuffling over to the door, pulling it open.

“WINNIE!!” Eva runs in and hugs my legs and hips tightly as I stood there, jaw dropped to see Richie and Sadie standing there.

“Guys!? What are you doing here?” I picked Eva up, kissing all over her face. “You came to Visit us pipsqueak?!” I asked her excitedly.

“Cousin Carmy has a SURPRISE TELL HER CARMY TELL HER” she yelled at him.

“Shhhh, shh baby people are sleepin come on” I giggled at her excitement, letting them in the door and setting her down gently.

I give Sadie a big hug “SadieBug what the fuck!!” I giggle squeezing her tightly. “Why the hell are you guys here?” I give Richie a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Y’still didnt tell ‘er?” Richie asked Carm, who was already picking up Eva and throwing her on to the bed, one of her favorite games when we’d stay at a hotel. She giggles wildly, each time she flew in to the pillows she’d squeal happily and sit up.

“Again! Again!” And leap back into his arms.

“No I was waitin’ for you guys, okay one more Eva then we gotta give Winnie her surprise yeah?” He asks and she nods happily.

“Okay, one…two…thrreee!!” He swings her between each count, hurling her carefully in to the bed on three and she laughs excitedly, standing up and jumping.

“Winnie come sit!” She said plopping down on her bum and bouncing at the force of the mattress, giggling as she did so.

“She slept most the way from the airport, so that’s why she’s a little wound up” Richie said, causing me to giggle.

I was so caught up in how fuckin cute Carmy was with Eva that I completely forgot why they were here in the first place.

“Okay nowww do I get my surprise?” I asked Carm, walking up and wrapping my arms loosely around his neck, looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“Yes baby but I think you should sit, yeah?” He gently nudges me to sit on the bed and I do so.

“Should I be scared?” I raise my eyebrow and Sadie laughs.

“No dude. Just listen” she crossed her arms as Carm took a white envelope out of his inner breast pocket, his first and last name written on the outside.

“So, honey” he sits next to me and offers the envelope. “I love you, so much. All I want is f’r you to be happy okay? I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy. And I know that you’d do the same f’me…and I hope that this shows you, that I will always find a way to make what you want happen okay, every time.” He kisses my forehead tenderly and I pout at his words, cupping his cheeks and giving him a sweet kiss.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, I love you” I said softly.

“Yuck” Eva said from behind us and I look at her.

“And You’re a stinky baby” I tease, poking her belly and she pouts

“Hey!” She crosses her arms and Richie chuckled.

“You’re yucky too Carmy” she pokes him in the back with her foot and he snorts.

“Open your gift Angel” he wraps his arm around me, his chin resting on my shoulder.

I gently pull open the envelope, taking out a stack of…concert tickets?

Taylor Swift - THE ERAS TOUR LIVE - Sponsored by Capital One With special Guests; BOYGENIUS & Sabrina Carpenter

ADMIT 1 FLRL R2 S13 Saturday, June 20, 2025 TICKETMASTER EVENT

Blood roars in my ears, my heart starts thumping so hard I can feel it in my stomach, my throat, everywhere. I flicked through the tickets, there were five. My jaw was basically on the floor, my stomach was doing flips, it felt as if I could pass out.

“Mmm? What’s Taylor say? We’re goin out T’night baby” he kisses my cheek and I look at him, tears pooling my eyes.

There were so many thoughts in my mind, I couldn’t even settle on one. I looked back at the tickets, sure they’d turn in to something else if I stared at them hard enough.

“Daddy..is Winnie ok she looks scared?” Eva whispered to Richie and I laughed and laughed, tears streaming down my face and I hug Carmen so tightly he actually groans a bit beneath my grasp.

“Fuck wow baby when did you get so strong?” He chuckled and I release him slightly.

“I don’t wanna scare people by screaming? I dunno what to do baby” I said, kissing his neck gently. “What am I even gonna wear?” I whisper and he wipes my cheeks

“No tears,” he said softly, kissing my forehead. “I don’t wanna get all w’rked up baby” he rubs my back soothingly.

I nod, wiping over my face. “I know, sorry, sorry. But I- I forgot my bodysuit what am I gonna do?” I said, my heart breaking. “W-were gonna be s’close and she won’t see it. I worked so hard Carmy” I said and he broke our hug, walking over to the closet and unzipping the black dress bag.

Revealing my blue bodysuit.

I squeal and run, jumping into his arms and kissing his face all over “and you’re coming with us?” I asked and he nods, smiling wide.

“I am and I can get all your videos, and pictures, and I can get your merch and everything baby you just have to enjoy the show” he said and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes again.

“You’re perfect.” I whispered and kissed him lovingly.

“Okay lovebirds” Sadie snaps her fingers. “We have a stadium to be at in” she looks at her Apple Watch. “4 hours if you wanna trade bracelets, and chop-chop if I’m curling your hair, Pooh” she tells me and I sniffle, wiping my face and getting down off him.

“Girls are gonna need the bathroom” I told him and he nods, rubbing my back gently.

“Course babe. Why don’t you guys have a little get ready party in here. Y’want me and Richie to go to the liquor store n’ stuff so you and Sadie can pregame?” He tucks my hair behind my ear sweetly.

I smile wide. “Carmen fucking Berzatto I fall in love with you more each second” I kiss him deeply, cupping his cheeks and stroking his fingers with my thumbs.

“Jesus Christ are they always like this? My god” Richie said

“Told you, yucky daddy.” Eva replied and I giggle “Only every second of every day. I think I know this guys side profile more then his frontal because of how much they suck face” Sadie said, earning a laugh out of all 4 of us.

“Back” Carmen called as he came into the hotel room, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Come in!” I called over the music.

“Oh my goodness Richie who’s this young lady?” Carm said when he saw Evas hair that I’d already curled for her and pinned back with glittery barrettes that would match her outfit.

She giggled, “thank you! Daddy, look!! Winnie did my hair how Sadie will do hers!!” She stood up off the edge of the honeymoon tub, spinning so her curls would be shown off.

“Wooow look at you pumpkin! You are a little Taylor swift” he comes and picks her up.

“C’mon let’s go get you dressed, We’ll come back after you have some lunch” he told her and she pouted.

“I want drinks!” She said causing Sadie, Carm and I to laugh.

“Girl no it’s big kid drinks.” Sadie said, continuing on her makeup.

“Mmhmm that’s right, pipsqueak. We’re gonna see you again real soon yeah? And we’ll go to the concert together” I told her and she nodded.

“Bear” I said sweetly when the door closed after they left.

“Honey” he repeats, mimicking my tone causing me to giggle.

“Can you make Sadie and I some doubles, s’il te plaît?” (Please) I flutter my lashes at him adorably and he snorts.

“Y’know I love doin’ stuff for you baby, Y’don’t have to give me the theatrics every time” he pecks my lips and takes the bag clinking with bottles of alcohol into the bedroom.

“Mm but you always do it extra nice when I give you the sweet eyes” I called after him and he chuckled. I was sat with my feet in the sink, focused on my makeup as Sadie curled my hair when he came back with 3 glasses.

“Sorry, they didn’t have limes babe but I got lime juice” he set my glass next to me and another next to Sadie before sitting on the ledge of the tub and taking a sip of his.

“ ‘sokay” I said softly, focused on tightlining my eyes with the navy blue pencil liner.

“Doesn’t that hurt. Y’re like- poking your eye babe.” He said and I stopped, looking at him with a smile.

“Y’get used to it I guess. I wear contacts to you see the way I dig around my eyes” I said and he shivers at the thought.

“It’s fuckin’ weird babe I swear it really skeeves me out I’m afraid you’ll scratch your eye out with one of your claws” he said, causing me to giggle.

I took a sip of my drink and scrunch my nose. “Fuck Carm” I giggled. “Wow I’m gonna have to nurse that if I’m gonna be able to do my makeup” I laughed and he snorts a chuckle.

“Y’said you wanted it strong baby” he replied and I shake my head.

“I guess I did, gee I’m feelin the burn” I laugh, finishing up tightlining my eyes and starting my winged liner.

“Sweet like honey karma is a cat purrin in my lap cause it loves meee” Sadie sings along softly as she sprays my hair with hairspray.

“Flexin like a god damn acrobat me and karma vibe like that!!!” I finished for her and continued doing my makeup.

By the time we’d finished makeup and hair, I was happy tipsy, giggling in the bathroom as I attempted getting dressed on my own.

“Carm can you help? My nails keep getting stuck I don’t wanna rip these they’re the ones Taylor wears” I called through the door.

“Comin” he calls and a few moments later he pops the door open, laughing at my current state. In nothing but my bra and thong, tights pulled up to my thighs.

I giggle “stop it!! No you’re my boyfriend you can’t laugh at me it’s the law” I said and he shakes his head, coming over and carefully unrolling the bunched fabric.

“My goodness babe what the hell were you doin’ trying to get these things on? Ballin’ em up?” He teased, crouching down and gently unraveling up to the waistband.

“Yeah well kinda I got it over my feet perfect see- but then, my boobs were suffocating me from bending over- and I was getting sweaty and lightheaded and I don’t wanna ruin my makeup” I giggle and he grunted a little as he got up.

“The things I do for you.” He chuckled to himself, carefully pulling the tights up my thighs and smoothing them over my waist. “There. Now where’s your other pair the fishnets right?” He asked and I smiled big, he really pays attention when I tell him about my interests and my plans for things that are so important to me.

“Mmhmm..sparkly fishnets” I said “my legs are gonna look so long and so sexy” i giggled, sitting on the edge of the tub as I roll the fabric over my toes up to the knees and stood up. “Your turn” I said.

“I wouldn’t say long you’re not even 5 foot baby, but sexy” he kisses my knee and up my thigh as he dragged the fishnets up. “Absolutely” he said and looked up at me. I pouted, crossing my arms over my middle.

“Do you wish I was tall?” I asked and he laughs, a real, genuine Carmy giggly laugh.

“Baby oh my god. Are you all done with the drinks? Cause you gettin’ all mushy drunk on me? I tell you all the time how you’re the perfect size f’me” he pulls the fishnets over my bum, spanking me gently after he brought them up over my waist.

“No. I just…sometimes people look at me like I’m a kid cause the way I dress and I wanted to be sure it doesn’t embarrass you that I’m small” I look at the floor and he tilts my chin up to look at him.

“Baby. The only small thing about you- is your height. These?” He cups my breasts with his palms “these” he rubs his hands over my hips. “Especially, this” he spanks me with a smile, causing me to giggle. “All that is in no way small. And anyone who mistakes you for a kid is blind. “ He said running his hands up my waist. “Okay- guess y’got me, this” he squeezes “is tiny.” He pulls me in to him. “And when I’m fucking you from the back? Mmm… it’s the only reason I do it baby cause of how pretty this is” he squeezed again as he whispers in my ear, kissing my pulse point and my breath hitched.

“Ok- I believe you, I believe you- don’t get me worked up please” I kiss his lips. “Can you get my bodysuit?” I asked and he nodded, returning with it a few moments later and carefully unzips it.

“I can hold it for you babe” he said, holding it low so I could step in. I held on to his shoulder and did so, slipping in my arms and pulling it up over he got the first half on. “Hold your hair honey I don’t wanna zip it in” he brushed my hair over my shoulder and I held it back for him.

He zipped me up, hooking the zipper on the little zip lock and gently rubbing his hands up my sides. “Mmm a little red headed Taylor” he hummed, rubbing his hands over my stomach and lightly thumbing over the intricate beading that had taken me hundreds of hours.

I blushed, turning around and looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled wide, my red hair being more akin to fire against the twinkling royal blue. I felt like a fucking pop star.

“Holy shit I made this!” I said and he nodded proudly, admiring me and all my hard work.

“Y’did baby girl! It is so perfect. Dare I say, better then hers. Do you think she planned it to have segments of 13 beads?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my forehead, looking me over in the mirror and I laugh.

“Oh the Queen of cryptic planning? Did she plan such a thing? Most likely. But thank you baby. Some spots are a little wonky….but overall I think it came out” I said and stepped away “Wait- we have to check the twirly” I said and shake my hips like Taylor, gasping at all the movement and shimmer.

“SADIE!” I call and she came over in her own bodysuit she’d made, akin to the Pink Lover bodysuit she opened the show in.

“Oh my god!!” We shriek at the same time, hugging eachother and jumping excitedly.

“You look so good Sadie!!” I laughed and she squeezed me tight.

“Dude oh my god!! She’s gonna fuckin see us she has to” she said and I laugh excitedly.

“Oh my godddd” I said clapping excitedly. “Okay c’mon c’mon shoes -“ I said and Sadie gasps.

“CARMEN! Oh my god!” She said and looked at him, he chuckles

“Sadie! What!” He smiled wide and she runs over to her suitcase, dropping to her knees and rifling through it.

She comes back a few moments later with a bag that she throws at his chest and he catches swiftly. “A thank you, well- not a proper one but…you guys need pictures” she said as he ripped the plastic open, taking out the white tshirt and laughing to himself before turning it around to show me

It was much like the tshirt she regularly wore, except this one had ‘KARMA’ in big black letters. I gasp excitedly looking at Sadie, “cause you’re my BOYFRIEND!” I giggle and kiss his lips sweetly.

“That I am baby. Well I’m glad it’s not just you guys to be all dressed up, Thank y’bug, really, that was super sweet” he said and I smiled big.

“ ‘dressed up’ if I knew you were going we’d have a couples costume babe” I go and grab my midnight blue sparkly boots that I’d also bejeweled myself and zip them up. “Am I giving vigilante shit?” I pose with my heel on the bedside chair and Sadie laughs.

“Yes dude you look fire.” She said, zipping up her own heels. “So do you!! I wish Syd would just give it up and become a Swiftie!! We’re gonna convert her by next tour, then we can all have sparkly outfits” I said confidently and Carm opens the bathroom door, coming out in his new shirt.

“It’s not a couples costume but it should do, right honey?” He teases and I smile big.

“Anything on you is made one million times sexier I’m not sure why I ever had a second thought.” I come up, my hands trailing under his shirt as I kissed him deeply. The door opens and I pulled away.

“I’m Fearless!” Eva said happily, bounding in wearing her brown cowgirl boots and golden fringe dress, shaking around to show us the movement and hugging my waist.

“And she needs a nap!” Richie mouthed, shutting the door and Carm snorts a laugh.

“What did you have for lunch pippy?” I picked her up, holding her on my good hip.

“We had pizza with pepperoni my favorite” she said, gently cupping my cheek.

“You look like Taylor!!” She said happily “all the sparkles are so prettyyy” she leans in, our foreheads touching “could I have some?” She whispers and I giggle.

“Of course pipsqueak. Here” I set her down on the bed and went over to my suitcase, rifling through my makeup bag and grabbing the same glitter gel I’d used and I come over, dabbing some on her cheeks.

“Carmy needs some too” she said with her eyes shut and I look at him over my shoulder, a blush splaying over his cheeks.

“N-no boys don’t- er- Carmy doesn’t need it” he said and I smile.

“Why not baby? We can all match yeah? It’d be cute. F’me, f’youre special honey” I gave him a pout and fluttered my lashes.

He sighed “fine.” He sits down next to Eva and I giggled.

“Carmy” Eva said and his eyes flutter shut as I dab the sparkles along his cheekbones.

“Mmhmm” he hummed in response.

“Why do you only listen to Winnie?” She asks curiously and Richie, Sadie and I bust up laughing together.

He looks at her. “Cause I’m big and I can choose who I do and don’t listen to kid.” He said, poking her arm and she giggled.

“Sugar says you’re still just a little baby” she teased and he snorts.

“Sugar is an instigator.” He told her as I plop in his lap with my drink.

“What’s an instigator?” She repeats

“Someone who starts stuff” I told her and smile a bit. “Like, your daddy always instigates the arguments about the front of the restaurant where he works” i leaned in and whispered to her, causing her to giggle.

“Hey! I do not” Richie said.

“Do. Absolutely you do.” Carmen said with a smirk.

“Yeah yeah alright cousin fuckin’ - let’s just go please. Load up in the car, Eva go potty” he told her and she jumped up running off to the bathroom. I finish off my drink and grabbed my purse, being sure I had everything.

“I have 2 portable chargers” I told Sadie.

“Perfecto, I got 3. We should be good” she nods, zipping her purse back up.

By the time we’d gotten to the stadium, (a very quiet ride because Eva had to take a nap or would be a terror most the night) Sadie and I were practically bursting with excitement.

“Evaaa!” I whisper, gently rubbing her arm. “Guess where we are?” I said and she opens her eyes, looking up and squealing when she sees the stadium.

“WERE GONNA SEE TAYLOR!!!” She squealed.

“Yaassss! Taylorrrr!” Sadie said opening up her door and helping her unbuckle. Carm helped me put my heels on since I knew if I wore them the whole time in the car my hip would hurt before we even got in the stadium.

“Now, only rule- y’tell me when y’re hurtin’, got it?” he whispered in my ear and I look up at him, nodding.

“Promise, I’ll sit down if I start hurting” I said and pucker my lips for a kiss. He obliges before grabbing my purse from the car.

“Y’wanna hold it or want me to babe?” he asked.

“Uhmmm, can you for now and then when I run out of bracelets i’ll take it?” I ask and he nods, holding my hand and lacing our fingers.

“Sounds good t’me baby” he said, and we all started the long walk to the stadium entrance.

“Christ cousin- could you have picked a further spot? Y’know how it is with her and walkin’, were gonna be standing all night, jagoff” Carm complains and I nudge him.

“You know what?! You should’ve driven then, Mister fuckin New York, bet you’d have found the bessttt spot right?” he shoots back.

“Stop!” I flick the back of his head, “And stop” I kiss Carmys cheek gently, “We’re having fun t’night, I promised bear, I’ll tell you if i’m hurting” I said and Richie shoots me a glare.

“So I get a flick, he gets a kiss?! F’startin’ it?!” he complains and I giggle with a shrug.

“Cousin treatment I guess, er-brother? I dunno, all of our family dynamics are all fucked up” I said.

“Winnie thats a bad word” Eva looks up at me.

“It is a bad word, but sometimes- mmm… listen to your daddy, but I think, cause i’m a grown up and I dont have to listen to my mommy or daddy anymore, - sometimes, bad words can be used to describe bad things. And my family, isn’t very good.” I shrug and she nods.

“I think multiplication homework is all fucked up” she said and Carm, Sadie and I howl with laughter.

“Ayyyy!!!! No! No- not allowed that word ‘till y’re like 13 kid, that was y’re one pass, y’mother is gonna fuc- flipping- kill me if she hears that comin’ from y’mouth” he pats her head gently.

“Mommy says you and Cousin Carmy are bad influences for me, what does that mean?” She looks up at him and he rolls his eyes. “It means that your mommy is telling you things that are none of your business. When she tells you those things, just say nicely “I dont think thats my business mommy” “ I told her and Carm squeezes my hand assuringly.

We get up to the entrance and I was practically dancing with anticipation, I couldn’t stay still. “Sadie” I said and she looks over “I’m like-” I shake my hands “Like- too excited, it’s too loud, too many people- can we play hands?” I asked , it was a game we’d develouped since we’d both seemed to absorb way too much nervous, excited energy while around crowds like this, where we’d both stand about a foot away from eachother, and push our hands together until one of our feet moved, and the person who remained still would be the winner.

She frowns, “Sorry dude, my hand- remember?” she said and I sighed, nodding and crossing my arms over my middle, squeezing my waist- trying to find any semblance of grounding I could.

Sadie had broken her hand at work a while ago, and needed some kind of tendon surgery to fix it- so playing hands wasn’t really an option for her since it wasn’t good for her to put pressure on it.

“Whats hands?” Carm asks, wrapping his arm around me- and for whatever reason the material of this shirt was making me cringe right now.

“Agh-” I step away, rubbing over my arm where the fabric brushed me. “Sorry.. Sorry- we haven’t washed it yet” I said and he looks down.

“My shirt? ‘M sorry baby, it’s buggin you?” he asked and I shook my head.

“I-it wasn’t i’m just…it’s s’much and I love it but ‘m just…I dunno- hands is a game we like, hold up your hands like this” I show him and he copies.

“I cant win y’re too strong so just let me push on you” I said and he nods.

“Push away baby” he smiled a bit and I connected our palms, putting all of my strength into pushing him but of course he didnt budge, he had a little less then a foot and a bit more then 100 pounds on me, so that was to be expected. But the relief of focusing all my energy in to somewhat of a physical release had the same effect.

I gave him a hug when my arms felt like Jelly and rest my cheek on his chest. “Can y’cover my ear so it’s more quiet” I asked him and he nodded, gently covering up my exposed ear with his hand and kissing the top of my head sweetly. I closed my eyes, sighing as I felt a sense of relief flood my senses at the much more dulled noise. “Thank you” I mumble and he rubbed my back gently with is other hand.

About 10 minutes later when the line finally started moving, I’d felt much better and way more regulated. “M’ better, thank you Bear” I told him, puckering my lips.

“Any time angel, y’know I brought your airpods f’you, right? In case you wanted to listen to music in the car? They’re charged, they have the noise cancellation thing on them” he said and my mouth drops.

“Carmen” I said in shock.

“What?!” He chuckles, digging in his pockets and pulling out my pink airpods case.

“You are the most thoughtful man in the god damn world baby, how did I get so fuckin’ lucky? I didn’t even think of the noise cancellation, y’re so fuckin smart, Bear” I cupped his cheeks, pulling him down for a deep loving kiss.

He pulled away, quicker then I would like, but I still knew he’s a bit shy when it comes to showing love in public. His cheeks were bright pink, and a smile danced on his lips.

“Totally not, but f’some reason I guess you bring the thoughtfulness outta me” he said, slipping the case back in his jeans pocket. I linked our arms together and he got the tickets ready, and Sadie taps both our shoulders suddenly.

We looked back at her, seeing she was holding her phone up “Cheese lovebirds!” She chirps and I smile wide, Carm leans in and kisses my cheek sweetly. “I’m convinced you don’t want Syd and I’s family seeing your face, Carmen” she teases and I giggle, smushing his cheeks and holding his face towards the camera, laughing

“Get it Sadie!! Quick!” I said and she clicked the button a few times.

“Perfect got one not blurry one with a smile, thanks Pooh” she slips her phone in her pocket. We got up to the gate and Carm hands the woman scanning our tickets.

“Us five” he motions to us and she nodded, scanning them all. “Enjoy the show, bag check’s up at the doors” she said, handing the tickets back and he put them back in the envelope, and back in my purse securely before we continued on.

“Alright baby so you guys go do your bracelets, Richie, Eva and I are gonna wait for y’re shirts n’ stuff, d’you want drink money?” He asks and I shake my head.

“No sugardaddy i’m fine” I teased, giving him a peck on the lips. “I love you, see you in like 30- er 45 ok? We’ll meet- “ I look over near the doors to see there was a little garden section with a smokers area. “Perfect! Smoke garden there” I point and he nods.

“I love you, be safe yeah? Call me f’r anything y’need” he held my waist securely, waiting for a response. “Yessss Carmy!” I giggled, “Were amongst friends here, you’ll see everyone is so super nice” I link my arm in Sadies, heading off to meet new fans.

“Oh my god you girls look awesome can my daughter take a picture with the two of you?” a blonde woman asks Sadie and I, I smiled wide - this was not the first time tonight we’d gotten that. Our outfits were an absolute hit tonight.

“Why of course! Would the two of you like to trade bracelets?” I asked, getting down to the level of the miniature copy of the mother, offering her a “Evermore” bracelet in my hand, adorned with maroon, green and brown beads.

“Yes please” she said shyly, taking one of the bracelets off her wrist that were much oversized and handing one to me then to Sadie, to which she put a “Karma” bracelet in her hand in return. As we were ending the conversation, Sadie opens her purse, handing over my phone.

“Carmen” she told me.

“Sorry ladies- it was so nice talking, my boyfriend is trying to get ahold of us- have a fabulous time” I told them and slid to answer, not even remembering to checking the time.

“Baby! We just got to the garden, where are you, you alright?” He said. I smile a bit, looking over about 100 paces to my right seeing him standing there, in the smokers garden holding the phone to one ear and a cigarette in the other, taking a drag as he waited for my response.

“Bear” I giggle “Look - mmm- 2 oclock?” I said and he turns the opposite way. “Y’know, f’r a guy thats obsessed with time, y’re shit at finding someone on the clock analogy” I teased and he turned the other way, the setting June sun allowing him to find me and Sadie nearly immediately from the sunlight bouncing off our outfits.

“Jesus dunno how I missed you guys y’re like fuckin bottles of glitter” he chuckled and I hung up, grabbing Sadies arm and leading her over to him.

“Thank you” I replied when I got up to him, kissing his cheek. “Carmen” I said, looking at the four bags of merch sitting on the table. His cheeks heat slightly.

“Okay- babe, listen, s’you told me y’wanted that crewneck, and the tshirt, but I f’rgot which t’shirt and I was not waiting in that line again for another hour and a half - so- so I just got like…one of everything - and I also got one for Sadie- perfectly reasonable a-and I got Eva some extra stuff too. But- s’you…just-just chill out here, and i’m gonna go bring this stuff t’the car with Richie.” he said and I laugh.

“Bear! Oh my god- no more gifts until my birthday!” I told him and he chuckled, picking up two of the bags. “Can’t promise anything like that baby, call me if-” I finished for him.

“We need anything” I kissed his lips sweetly. “Thank y’Carmy, really, y’didn’t have to go all out like this - I’ll…” I took a deep breath, trying to contain my emotions. “I’ll never forget this, baby” I said softly, doing everything in my power to hold the tears back.

“I know you wont, angel. I love you” he kissed my forehead sweetly and he and went off with Richie. I sat down immediately after they left, my hip was already starting to feel tight due to the heels and all the up and down crouching to meet little fans.

“Ooo Eva! Look another little girl in a Fearless dress! Y’wanna go give her a Fearless bracelet?” Sadie asks her and she nods excitedly, holding her hand as they walked over. I watched them, smiling as I did so- taking everything in.

By the time Carm and Richie had gotten back, Sadie and I were once again tipsy off of the drinks she’d ran and gotten us from the bar truck, and I had been smart enough to sneak in some shots in my bra to give them the extra kick. She’d even gotten Eva a virgin one of her own in the same fancy disposable cup, so she wouldnt feel left out.

“Fuck you walk fast” Richie says, plopping down in the seat across from me at the little patio table we’d claimed, panting.

“You walk slow as shit Cousin” Carm pats my shoulder for me to get up and sit in his lap, for which I was very grateful- because even through the alcohol my hip began throbbing from sitting on the hard metal chair.

I get up, taking my spot in his comfortable lap and sighing in relief. He digs out a cigarette from his jacket pocket he’d put on, lighting one between his lips. The sun had already went down most of the way and the 60 degree weather, which was cold to me- wasn’t going to do anything good for my hip. “Did y’bring mine?” I ask him quietly.

“Y’re prerolls baby? I brought 3 f’you, you hurtin’ already?” he asks after he took a drag. I bit the inside of my lip gently and shrug, looking at my lap. “Alright no more bracelets, I want y’to be able to enjoy y’rself baby, here” he hands me his cigarette to hold for him while he dug my preroll out of his pocket, lighting it for me before we switched. I leaned against his chest, taking a drag and blowing it away from the table.

“Thank y’for remembering, Bear” I said softly and he wrapped his arm around my waist securely, rubbing my good hip gently.

“Course angel” He mutters and kisses my shoulder before having another drag of his cigarette.

By the time I finished my preroll, I was feeling much better, the pain was mostly non-existant and would stay that way for hopefully a few hours. I finished the rest of my drink on the way in to bag check, chucking the disposable cup with Taylors name on it in the garbage.

By the time we’d gotten to our seats Sadie, Eva and I were balls of excitement. The view of the stage was insane. Sadie and I were in the upper bowl last time, so seeing how really big the stage was, was crazy. My head - Carms head, wouldnt even hit the top of it, which told me that it had to be taller then 6 feet. “Y’know” I said, to Carm, “I don’t know why I thought the stage would be…shorter? But Taylor wears 6 inch heels, so shes 6’5? 6’6 in her shoes? So to get around under there-”

“Six fucking foot?!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. I laughed at his surprise.

“Yaaas! 6 foot tall amazonian goddess” I giggle and he raised his eyebrows.

“Shit I knew she was tall but when I met ‘er the other-” he slaps his hand over his mouth, and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head, and Richie and Sadies head snap in his direction.

“You WHAT?!”

“YOU MET WHO!?”

“BEAR WHAT”

Sadie, Richie and I all spoke at once and he shakes his head. “No- Like- no” he laughs nervously, shaking his head. “No not what I meant- I meant if y’know like if I met ‘er” he said, and I knew he was lying through his teeth.

“Did you meet Taylor Alison Swift, yes or no- if you lie, I will never let you touch me again” I said, staring into his very soul. It only took about 3 seconds for him to crack.

“Itwasonlyf’rlike3minutesandshegavemetheticketscauseherboyfriendlikesitalianfood” he blurted out and my eyes widen.

“No - no- Carmen. You MET HER?!” I said and he gives me a shy nervous smile.

“Mmmhmm..but like- 2 seconds babe- and- yeah shes fuckin huge- like- so tall” he said and I shook my head.

“What did you say to her- go, in your brain- now - because I know you have a fucking photographic memory, and tell me what transpired, Carmen. Tell me” I squeeze his wrist in anticipation and he sighed.

“That- that you really wanted t’come here, and that you love her music, and that- that she reminds me of a cat? And she laughed! I made her laugh babe” he said smiling bigger.

My jaw drops once more “SADIE” I lean over, looking at her. “Do you know what this MEANS?! TAYLOR Thinks MY Boyfriend is FUNNY! That means…that means- she likes what I like…so- oh my god- we’d totally be friends- Carm likes you, Carm likes me- She liked Carm, She likes us!!!” I said excitedly and Sadie nods with a big smile.

“We are so delulu” she said, laughing and Carm chuckles.

“The hell is delulu?” He questions and I laughed. “Delusional my lovely old man” I peck his lips gently and he shakes his head with a smile.

I had forced myself to sit suring the BOYGENIUS set, even though I did quite enjoy them, I had to save my energy for Taylor. I made a bit of an acception for Sabrina though, since Sadie and I hadn’t seen her before, and her stage presence was so magnetic that we just couldn’t help but get up and dance.

When the clock came on the screen, Richie, Sadie, Eva and I shot up out of our seats and Carm got the hint as well. “Alright baby whats happening” He asked and I giggle, jumping like a kid on Christmas with excitement.

“The QUEEN is about to come out!” I said in his ear over the screaming and looked back to the screen, my hands coming to my mouth in anticipation.

At the sound of the first ‘It’s been a long time comin’ Sadie, Eva, Richie and I scream.

“FUCK YEAHHH!!!” Richie whoops, causing me to giggle. I held Sadies hand tightly as the dancers come out with the breathtaking watercolor shell like billowing tapestries, bowing at the front of the stage over where Taylor comes out.

Carm leans over, “What’s with the flags baby?” he asked in my ear.

I gently rest my hand on my cheek, he crouches down slightly so I could hear him. “Its the birth of Venus, the analogy” I told him and he nods. I let go of his hand as the beginning sequence ended putting my hands on top of my head, completely unsure how to cage the all-consuming surge of emotions coursing through my veins.

‘It’s been a long time comin’ but- Its you and me- Thats my whole world! They whisper in the hallway ‘shes a bad bad girl’ Okay! The whole school is rollin’ fake dice, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes!’

Sadie, Richie, Eva and I go nuts, scream singing every word, dancing and jumping. I didnt even realize I was crying until I felt Carm’s hand around my waist, leaning down and saying in my ear, “Havin’ fun honey?”

I looked up to him, Smiling huge “THE MOST FUN EVER! I LOVE YOU!!!” I shout loud enough for him to hear, kissing his lips lovingly before continuing to watch. Sadie and I dance and sing and scream for the rest of Miss Americana, and when It got to the Cruel Summer bridge, the whole stadium was buzzing with excitement.

“Alright New York City!” Taylor says and everyone screams in response. “We have arrived, at the very first bridge this evening- And you may know this is my only show in this beautiful city that is my home away from home- So I want you to scream it!!! Lets Go!!” and scream it Sadie, Eva, Richie and I do.

During Lover, Carm sweetly held me as we swayed and listened, his arms wrapped around my waist and I rested my head against his chest, soaking in the sweetness of the moment. And of course, during The Archer, her comforted me while I cried because of how much the song meant for me and my anxiety problems, kissing my forehead and gently wiping my tears.

During Fearless Eva spun in the isle while Taylor did, and I could’ve sworn Taylor saw her by the kiss she blew in our direction between verses - but all of my intuition was shown to be right, because during the ‘Enchanted’ era, A woman in a black tshirt and black pants comes up to our isle, walking infront of me and Carm down to Richie and Evas seat, and whispers something in Richies ear, to which he nods very quickly, before leaning down and whispering something in Evas ear and she jumps up and down, until the woman in the black shirt whispers something else in her ear and she very quickly calmed down, nodding obediently and taking the womans hand.

Sadie gives me wide eyes as shes taken with the woman and stands up with the woman where the barricade is. “What’s goin on with Eva?” Carm asks in my ear.

It took everything in me to not burst in to tears knowing how much this was going to mean to Eva. “Shes gonna get the hat!” I told him and his eyes widen.

“During- during 22?” He asked and I nod excitedly. He got his phone out, ready to record. When the time came, Eva was brought to sit on a platform right in front of the stage, and was sitting on her knees as she patiently waited, wiggling around to the song.

Richie right behind her at the barricade in the isle, recording the whole interaction, and Sadie and I sing and dance to the song, relishing in the pure enchantment on Eva’s face as Taylor kneels in front of her, trading bracelets with her before putting the hat on her head and brushing the rim playfully and getting up to continue singing. As soon as the security lifted Eva back over the barricate, she sprints in to Richies arms, and he picks her up, spinning her around and kissing her cheek.

“Oh my godddd!” I said my heart melting at the sight and Carm stops filming, I look up to see a few stray tears wetting his cheeks as well.

“Ohhhh my sweet bear” I said, rubbing his chest gently.

“Holy fuck! Look at that!!” Richie said as he comes back to their seats. Eva bounces all around, a whole new fire to her energy.

School on Monday is gonna be epic for her surely.

During All Too Well ten minute version, Carm and I decided to sit and have some water to let my hip get some much needed rest for a little bit. He wrapped his arm around me, leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his hair, yawning. “Tired?” I ask and he nodded a bit.

“I didn’t think I would be t’be honest, y’know how late we stay up, think I just need a cigarette if ‘m honest” he said and I nodded. I rest my head on his shoulder, continuing to watch Taylor infront of us.

Thankfully, the Folklore era was next, which wasn’t too much of a dancey album- so we all got to sit for 20 minutes through all too well, and betty, which was very nice that we had some time to recharge, especially since after this era, 1989 era was next, which Sadie and I were both huge fans of. I sat up for The Last Great American Dynasty though, Screaming along with Sadie,

“There goes THE LOUDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN!!!” as did the majority of the crowd.

I held Carms hand during August, resting my head on his shoulder once more and he gives me a kiss on the forehead. “Is- is she barefoot babe?” he asks in my ear and I laughed, looking up at him.

“No silly- shes wearing ballet slippers? Like what ballerinas wear before they go on pointe?” I said and he nods.

“Ahhh” he said and chuckled a bit. “S’rry they’re so close to her skin color” he said and I shook my head, giggling.

Standing up right away with Sadie and Eva when she came over to our side to wave and waving at her excitedly, blowing kisses and holding up hearts. She smiles big and waves back at us that had to be for us- shes looking right at us.

Sadie and I jump and scream, remaining standing since she walked down the whole length of the stage, and we would get insane videos and pictures since she was going to stopping right in front of us or the majority of the song.

It took my breath away, when she stopped, belting the bridge, and dropping to her knees right in front of us on the stage. ‘And I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones. And I still talk to you - when I'm screaming at the sky, And when you can't sleep at night - you hear my stolen lullabies. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves’ She stood up, her white gown flowing like angel wings as she spun around and began her decent back down the stage.

I wiped the tears streaming down my face from the touching performance, shaking my hands and rolling my shoulders when she song was over. Carm kisses my temple, “Y’happy angel?” He asked, and I look up at him as if he got me the moon on a fucking string.

“Happy? I’m…fuckin elated, baby- I cant even digest how happy I am right now” I laugh and pulled him in to a sweet kiss.

We all sang and dance along to 1989, Carm being very proud of himself for knowing all the words- probably since they were so popular when he was living in New York, and he’d told me once while watching this era during the movie for the 50 millionth time, that alot of the songs they “played to death” in the restaurants he worked.

It was so fuckin fun to watch him fully let loose, and dance with me, sing with me, not a speck of shyness to be found. It just turned up my fire to 100, giving me a whole new love for this album.

“And to the fella over there with the hella good hair Won't you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake” I sang along, ruffling Carm’s messy curls and he laughs, kissing me sweetly before the beat dropped again and I started bouncing and happily dancing again.

At the beginning of Bad blood, I tap him and he leans in “ ‘sup baby?” he asks.

“When she says ‘If you live like that, you live with ghosts’ f’r the first time, you gotta screeeeam ‘you forgive, you forget, but you never let it go’- ok?” I told him and he nods, giving me a thumbs up.

“Got it” he said and I giggled happily, turning my attention back to the stage. When she sang it, without fail, Carm shouted along with Me, Sadie, Richie and Eva as promised and Richie slaps his back approvingly.

“Fuck yeahhh cousin!! You study?” He teased and Carm shook his head.

“No need,” he wraps his arm around me. “ Got a professional w’me most the time” he kissed my head and I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder lovingly.

When Taylor came out in her red surprise song dress, I held Carms hand, screaming excitedly.

“Hellooooo” she said adorably, strumming her guitar. “So- you’ve made it to the acoustic set, if you didn’t know, every show I sing a few different songs from my catalog cause, y’can only fit so much into a concert- and I’ve been told i’ve released an ungodly amount of albums” she giggles, getting a ton of laughs from the crowd of course, we all fuckin’ adore her.

“So tonight, I usually only take requests from friends, but I got this request the other day- and the songs actually sounded like they’d go cute together, and y’guys know me, of course i’ll spice em up for you a little” she said and started the opening chords.

“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I’m a house of cards, you’re the kinda wreckless that should send me runnin’ but I kinda know that I wont get far” She sings, and I couldn’t contain it anymore- I burst into tears. This song means so much to me, the amount of times Chris and I listened to this song together- it was his favorite Taylor song, which led it to become my favorite song of hers after he passed.

Carm rubs my arm gently, holding me to his chest and squeezing me gently. “I love you” he said in my ear and kisses my temple. I took a shaking breath, not even able to respond as this was the first time i’d heard this song live before, and all I could imagine was how much Chris would’ve loved this show.

I lean in to him, watching the stage, and once Sadie realizes what was happening, she wraps her arms around me as well, resting her head on my shoulder. “He’s probably here, y’know, spiteful fuck wouldn’t come here in the afterlife unless you were with ‘em right? So lets party with em, not cry” Sadie said in my ear and I smiled, looking over at her.

“Have I told you you’re the bestest friend and my fuckin platonic soulmate?” I told her and she giggles, wiping my tears.

“Yes, I believe once or twice, and you’re mine - now are we gonna cry during the bridge? Or are we gonna lose our fucking minds?” she asked and I nodded, holding her hand and sniffling, finding my composure once more. There would be loads of time to digest this and cry about it later on, for now I want to live in this beautiful, happy moment.

“I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild!! Just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me, It's just wrong enough to make it feel right!” we held hands, dancing and laughing and singing. It truly was magical.

But I was awestruck when instead of finishing the bridge, she slips in to Mine instead, Carm and I’s song, the song that reminded me so much of him. I look at him, jaw dropped as she sings.

“Brace myself for the goodbye, cause it’s all i’ve ever known, but you took me by surprise- you said ‘I’ll never leave you alone..’ “ before slipping right back in to sparks fly, “Drop everything now, meet me in the pourin’ rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain” and going back to Mine again, “He said ‘I remember how it felt sittin’ by the water, and every time I look at you it’s like the first time.” and going back again to sparks fly, “So get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down give me somethin’ that’ll haunt me when i’m not around, cause i’ve seen sparks fly whenever you smile” before switching back again, “You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing, thats ever been mine. Do you believe it? And the sparks fly”

I hugged him tightly, sobbing in to his chest. He doesnt know how much this means to me. For us to be here, together tonight, and for her to play 2 of the most important songs to me, the songs that remind me of the two people I love most - It was borderline overwhelming.

For the next song per usual she sat down at her piano, and without another speech, started playing the opening chords of Evermore and Sadie and I lost it, screaming ferally with the rest of the stadium once we realized which song it was.

Carm laughs at our excitement, rubbing my back. “S’did she pick good ones t’night?” he asked in my ear. I look up at him, everything clicking in to place for how he planned every single thing about this night.

I shook my head, laughing and pulling him to me. “You have unlimited head, for the rest of our lives” I told him and he laughed, kissing my cheek gently.

“I wont say no to that- if y’re offerin” he mused, patting my bum gently. I kiss him again and again, wrapping my arm around his middle and resting my head on his chest, hugging him tightly.

“I love you” I said and kissed his neck sweetly. He brushed my sweaty curls from my forehead, gently stroking my cheek with his forefinger.

“I love you baby, s’much, endlessly” he said and kissed my lips once more.

I rested in to him as he held me from behind, “This ones sad babe..but what the hell does unmoored mean?” he said in my ear and I giggle, Looking up at him.

“A mooring is where ships are docked during a storm, baby, if your ships unmoored- y’re fucked” I told him and he raised his eyebrows, nodding and continuing to listen along intently.

He wraps his arms around me securely, resting his chin atop my head, and I’d never felt safer, more secure, more loved, and thought of, and listened to then I did in this moment. Hot tears stream down my cheeks but a huge smile was still plastered on my face. My entire chest felt warm, like I could explode with all of the love that was coursing through me, I felt like I was literally glowing.

When the song finished, I look up at him with a small sad pout. “Only one more era… then it’s all done” I said a bit sadly and he chuckles.

“Only one more baby? Your voice is already gone, I don’t think we could do anymore after it’s over” he said and kisses my forehead, wiping the residual tears from my cheeks and eyes. I giggled a bit.

“Sorry, I know my voice probably sounds annoying” I said and clear my throat, it did feel really raw, and sore as well. I was probably not gonna have much of a voice for a good few days.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Baby, you could never annoy me, it’s cute - it shows you had alot of fun” he said, rubbing my hip gently.

I lean in, kissing his lips gently before the beginning of Lavender Haze started and Sadie and I go nuts, - Richie just pumps his fist, as he was now holding a sleeping Eva in his arms and I pout, grabbing my phone and taking a photo before turning my attention back to the stage.

During Vigilante Shit, Carm leans down and says in my ear, “Y’gonna dance f’me like that in your pretty outfit baby?” he asked and I felt butterflies swarming in my stomach, if my cheeks werent already flushed from moving around so much i’d be blushing like mad.

“If you can handle it- we havent even got to the good part yet” I teased, kissing his jaw gently and he kissed my lips hungrily.

“T’morrow, i’m cashin in on one of those tickets f’head mentioned earlier, and y’re wearin’ that” he told me and I look up at him, a pesky smirk on my lips and I raised my eyebrows surprised at his boldness.

“Someones in a mood” I giggled and peck his lips before turning my attention back to the stage.

During Bejewled when Taylor came to the end of the stage shaking her hips to show off her fringe, I stepped in the isle, jumping and waving to try and get her attention and shook my hips, mirroring her. She smiled wide and pointed at me before she said her little ‘Nice!’ waving in my direction and I’m glad Carm had followed me in to the isle because when she walked away my knees nearly buckled under me.

Sadie came over, jumping in excitement and patting my arm excitedly, “DUDE!!! DUDDEEEE!!! SHE SAID HIII!!!” She laughed and hugs me tight and we bounced and jumped and sang the rest of the whole song, nothing could’ve brought me down in that moment.

We danced and sang to Mastermind, and when she came out with her Rainbow jacket, I point at her, tugging Carms sleeve and he leans down to hear me.

“I lied!!! If you can find one of those rainbow jackets for a reasonable price- I’ll accept” I told him and he laughs, nodding and giving me a thumbs up.

“I’ll try t’find one f’you princess, promise” He kissed my temple.

Carm and I danced hand in hand to Karma together, singing every lyric, him knowing them all since i’d listened to it so often with him around, and it was one of her more repetitive songs after all, pointing to him when we’d sing, ‘Karma is my boyfriend’, dancing, jumping around, laughing, fully enjoying ourselves. We all needed this.

When the song ended, and Taylor was thanking her band and dancers, a man with a stage headset wearing black jeans and a black shirt, similar to the woman who collected Eva, came down the row, stopping at Carm and saying something in his ear.

He looks back at them, a confused look on his face, “Who? I don’t know anyone in there-” he said and the man leaned in again, saying something else in his ear and Carm’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He looked at me before back at the man. “Okay- but i’m takin’ her.” he said, pointing to me, and the man shook his head.

“Just you-” he replied over the music and Carm shakes his head in response.

“Tell ‘em I said where I go, she goes, so he can fuck all the way off if she can’t come with” he said and the man shrugged, walking off again.

“What was that?” I asked him over the music.

“Travis Kelce wanted t’talk t’me? But the douche said only I could go, ‘mnot doin’ that” he shook his head, resuming clapping and cheering with the rest of the crowd. My jaw drops and I hit his arm gently.

“Babe! What the hell? No!!! Go over there!!! Do you know how much business it would bring if he talked about The Bear on his podcast?” I asked and he shrugs in response.

“Don’t care, I need y’with me babe. I can’t talk t’him without you, Taylor will probably be there- I can’t just…go meet her without you, thats fucked” he said and I pout, hugging his arm and the same man comes over again.

“Alright, but just you, and her, no one else” he explained and Carm nods, grabbing his jacket from the chair and lacing our fingers together as we followed. I felt my heart racing. So hard that I felt my pulse in my throat, it was taking everything in me to just pay attention to each step and not stumble over my own feet.

We’re led to a white tent, various famous people standing about, but the tallest person there also- seemingly the biggest personality in the room, had invited us. “Yoooooo there he is! Bro- wassup!” he comes over, giving Carm a guy hug, patting his back firmly.

“Y’guys like the show? Fuckin’ crazy shit right!!” he said. His voice was booming, and I thought Carmy was loud- even he wouldn’t win in a screaming match with this guy.

“Yeah, really awesome she puts on a fantastic show, Nice t’meet you I’m Carmen- everyone usually just calls me Carm though, and this is my girl, Winnie” he said and I smiled nervously, giving a small wave. I literally could find no words to say to this man, I felt everything I said would make it back to Taylor and I’d end up embarrassing myself.

“Winnie!! Cool like the bear? Sick name, that outfits firreee girl! Where’d you get it?” he asks and my eyes widen and I looked down at my outfit and back at him, my cheeks going red.

“Uh- I-I made it?” I said in awe that he recognized anything at all about me. Mostly the fact that he was a guy, a football jock at that, but also - he is dating the most beautiful, sought after women in the world at the moment.

“Whaaat?! Shit!! You Swifties are crazy Taylor’s gonna love that she should be-”

“TRAVYYYY” we heard and I spun around so fast I thought my head may fly off to see Taylor fucking SWIFT barreling up to her boyfriend, and jumping into his arms- wrapping herself around him the same way I did with Bear. My grip on his arm tightened and I look up at him like an absolute deer in headlights.

“C’mon- go say hi princess, shes really nice” he whispers in my ear.

“Thereee she is, you did so amazing honey!” Travis told her, spinning her around causing her to laugh excitedly.

“Oh my god- Heyyy Chef! Did Travis drag you over here?” she asked, hopping down from his arms and Carm chuckled a bit.

“Hardly dragged, but uh yeah- great- awesome show, still stand by what I said about the cat thing, though” Carm said with one of his teasing grins and I just look between them, in utter shock. He was playing around with her?!

She laughed, turning to Travis “Trav- he told me that I remind him of his cat during tolerate it, y’know I was thinking about that the whole song” she said and Travis chuckles.

“Thats the highest compliment you could’ve given her. Her and cats is somethin’ else. But- look babe” he told her and motions to my outfit.

“T she made that” he said and my heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would fly out of my chest. I felt so small in front of her, both physically and emotionally. I was unsure why I felt this way, the love I had for the woman in front of me was unreal, but there was like a…mental block? Anything i’d ever wanted to tell her had slipped my mind, and my whole brain was dark and empty.

“Oh my GOD no way! Crazy holy shit” she said coming over and running her fingers over the beads. Carm nudges me gently, urging me to talk to her.

“Tell her baby, about all the beads” he said and I swallow thickly, nodding.

“I-um- Hi I-im Winnie..it’s like- This is crazy I-wow… um - so- so see um…they're in clusters of 13 and 7 alternating, a-and.. There are 89…rows, um each- each section. S-so like this panel and the back one a-and then, I didn’t plan it, but each um..each big bead it ended up being perfect if I secured them 13 times, s-so they’d like stick up how y’rs do” I rambled nervously and she leaned in, looking closer.

“Wow” she whispered, “This is sick- you’re a professional then?” she stood up straight, towering over me once more and I looked up at her.

“Um” I manage to get out.

“She could be- she spent…what was it babe? 450 hours on this? And y’took that sewing class, and that rhinestone class and everything?” Carm encourages, it’s not supposed to be him who’s the talker. He’s probably panicking right now and i’m gonna be the reason for a panic attack when we got out of here.

“Yeah! Mmmhmm- and y’re like- wow Taylor” my sudden realization such a high stakes social situation would absolutely be freaking him out. “I- like- I’ve been such a fan of your art since like- Middle School- I- I couldn’t see you until I was older cause’- y’know, life gets in the way, but- last year I got this-” I paused, pulling up my hair and showing her the little mirrorball script tattoo on the back of my neck.

She gasped, running her finger over it gently, and even though I was hot, goosebumps still rose on my flesh. “ Wow “ she said softly. “Thats…thats so pretty…I love the grey its so delicate and pretty” she said.

I turned to her again, smiling big and taking her hands. “Thats how I am about everything you accomplish - just, Wowed everything you do, everything you are- like- you’ll be in the history books- there are so many things about you and your career that are like- just..like-” I laugh, shaking my head. “How do you do it? I know thats like… a stupid question? But like- It’s…like insanity” I said and she laughs a bit, nodding.

“Thank you! Honestly I-I don’t…really know? Alot of times…Like- I can tell we’re not too far apart in age just by how you carry yourself and stuff and… hearing you listened to me in middle school- it’s like- crazy because I’ve lived one million lives since then…I guess thats how? But really..it means alot that my art means alot to you, and i’m so grateful that you came. The tattoo is so pretty, also- your name is just like…Adorable” she squeezed my hands and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.

“I’m so sorry to be a freak and cry, you’re just, so special, like- not in a fan way- in a human way. You-” I took a deep breath. “You are a light, a beacon for so so many young women, Taylor. And you have been for so long - and you will only get better, you have proved that. Like- i’m not sure if some guy really told you your aura was moonstone, but it truly is, you just sparkle, and - you like…are just- Thank you, for being you, and thank you for being so raw in your music, and just…thank you” I said and she pulls me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me.

“Thank you, Winnie” she said, rubbing my back. I internally was uncontrollably sobbing and screaming but- on the outside, I somehow managed to just hold her back and hug her like a normal person.

“I’m sorry- im sure you’re probably annoyed with hearing that stuff but…it’s true, and- I…I guess thats what makes you you- is how humble you are…like- you know I’ve never heard a bad word about you?” I asked and she laughed, pulling away and looking at me.

“C’mon, y’re kidding” she rolled her eyes with a smile, “I’ve seen plenty of awful things about me” she said and I shook my head.

“N-no! No, Taylor, like- sure do people come after your looks, and your voice, because thats all they have to try and pick apart- shallow bullshit..even though you’re like- factually a model - and any person who’s studied a lick of music knows that you have an undeniably insane range and incredible vocal and breath control- this isn’t out of my ass Taylor, I-I was in theater because you inspired me...I was like ‘if this cool 16 year old can put out an album I can do a play’ and I did.. But-but this is about you. I’ve never heard a bad word about you- I’ve been in your fandom for gosh- a year after you started in 2006? All over.. Gee- twitter, facebook, myspace, the old swift app, everything, And i’ve never ever-ever seen someone online or in real life thats like ‘oh my gosh i met Taylor Swift and she is sooo mean’ - anything i’ve ever heard, about things that matter- you are a beautiful, humble, kind person.” I said and she pouted, pulling me into another hug.

“Are you trying to make me cry?” She asks with a giggle, holding me tight. Her PR manager, Tree, comes into the VIP tent.

“Lets get a move on chicky poo - gotta be on the plane in an hour,” she told Taylor and she pulled away.

“Duty calls” she sighs and I giggled.

“It was..enchanting to meet you Miss Swift” I said with a smile and she laughs, pulling me into another hug.

“I like you, you’re sweet, we’ll meet again sometime, ok? Trav is over there chattin’ up your boyfriend to get us into his restaurant for a night” she assured and I look up at her.

“What?! Oh my GOD! Thats…wow- we’d love to have you in Chicago.” I said and Carm comes up, grabbing my wrist.

“C’mon, we’ve been kicked” he joked and Travis laughs a bit.

“I’ll text you man, we’re gonna have a few spare days later this month i’ll try to give plenty of notice” Travis said, coming over and wrapping his arms around Taylors middle and kissing her head.

“Y’ready?” he asks her and she nods, sighing a bit.

“Exhausted” she told him and I squeeze her hand.

“Get some rest, y’deserve it. Kick ass show by the way- I’d go every night if I could- also, sorry I sound like…this- I wasn’t kidding when I said I love your music” I giggled a bit and she nods, smiling big.

“I love it - means you had a great time, ginger tea, and lots of local honey you’ll be good as new in a day or two if you just chug it consistently, its mostly water anyway” she said and I nod, finally letting her go.

“Thank you again…See you soon” I said and we all said our goodbyes. As soon as we were out of eye and ear shot I laugh loudly, jumping up and down, dancing around. “CARMENNNN!!!” I squeaked, hugging him and jumping happily.

“Bear- She likes me” I said excitedly, practically dragging him outside where Richie, Eva, and Sadie were sat at one of the smoke garden tables, Sadie jumps up, bounding over to me and I hug her.

“Dude- everything tell me everything” She said, I broke down in to tears.

“Shes so sweet Sadie!! She- she said she liked my outfit!! A-and Carmy and Travis are gonna be BEST FRIENDS” I cried and she rubs my back. Carmen laughed, for once at my tears, but it was tears of pure joy, so neither of us felt bad at his amusement for my emotional reaction. “Dude-WAIT- of course she liked it - C’mon- what did she say, like- start to finish also- why is Carm gonna be his best friend?” and the entire walk back to the car, as well as the whole drive home, Carm and I gave the three of them a play by play of our entire 10 minute meeting with them.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

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