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sochilll · 2 years

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October 23 - “I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”

Day 22 Day 24 All Days (Prompt list)

“Do you think they would notice if we left?” Jared whispered.

“Definitely not.” Evan shook his head.

The adults were reasonably drunk. This was their Halloween party. About a six sets of middle aged couples plus a few single people, their own parents included.

Jared wanted to go to the Halloween party Justin Novak was throwing. Evan wanted to stay home alone.

As it was, they weren’t invited to Justin’s party and Heidi had declared staying home alone to be too sad. So there they were, high school seniors stuck at a Halloween party thrown by and for people in their mid-forties.

Jared looked at Evan. “Stay here.”

“Where would I go?” Evan asked but Jared was already slipping through the room.

When he returned, he was holding two bottles. He stealthily passed one to Evan.

“Jared,” Evan sighed. “I’m not getting drunk at a party with my mom.”

“It’s a wine cooler.” Jared rolled his eyes. “It’s not gonna get you drunk. It’ll just help us have a little fun.”

Evan still looked wary so Jared twisted the top off his own and took a drink. “Tastes like fruit punch.” He motioned for Evan to go.

Evan huffed but opened his own bottle and took a drink. Jared was right, mostly. It was sweet and fruity but there was still an alcoholic bite under it.

They ended up on the stairs of Jared’s mom’s friend’s house. The party raged on in the living room behind them, but it was slightly muffled on this side of the house.

“You’re drunk.” Jared grinned.

“I’m not!” Evan protested. He’d had two drinks and he was feeling a bit weird in the head. But he certainly wasn’t drunk. “I could walk in a straight line right now.”

“Okay. Do it.”

“I don’t want to.” Evan said.

Jared laughed. He was probably drunk too. His face was red and he couldn’t seem to stop smiling.

“This sucks.” Evan said, leaning back so the stairs dug into his back. “We should’ve just figured out where Justin’s party was.”

“You didn’t even want to go to that party.”

“Yeah well, if I’m gonna be stuck at a party I’d rather it be that one. At least I’d know the music there.”

Jared snorted. “Debatable.” He finished off his own second drink. “Well I’m having fun.”

“Yeah right.” Evan rolled his eyes. “We’re sitting on the stairs in a stranger’s house while our parents get drunk. How is this fun?”

Jared shrugged. “You’re so depressing. I’m having fun just hanging out.”

Evan looked at him. He didn’t seem to be joking. He looked surprisingly sincere. His hair was sort of messy from when they were sprawled on the couch. His cheeks were flushed from the drinks. And he had that goofy sort of grin that Evan liked so very much. Evan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jared’s.

Jared leaned back and suddenly Evan felt very, very sober.

Oh god, why did he do that? Why the hell did he do that?

Jared was looking at him, his face unreadable. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”

Evan nodded rapidly. He felt nauseous. He needed to go home. “Yeah no obviously not. That wasn’t even-I wasn’t trying to-I didn’t mean to…”

Jared didn’t make fun of him. It would’ve been better if he did. If he’d grinned and teased Evan for having a crush on him. That would’ve been monumentally better than the way Jared was just staring at him.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Evan lurched to his feet. He didn’t come out until his mom came looking for him so they could leave.

Evan didn’t have a hangover the next morning, thank god. That would’ve been embarrassing. When he sat up and checked his phone he saw that it was a reasonable hour to wake up and that he had two missed calls from Jared. An hour apart.

He didn’t like that. Jared never called him. Jared calling him meant that something was wrong. But of course something was wrong because Evan had kissed Jared last night like a fucking idiot. The stupidest thing he could’ve possibly done. No amount of alcohol or Jared smiling or constant gay thoughts should’ve been enough to make Evan that stupid.

He jumped as his phone started vibrating again. No way was he answering that. Not happening. In fact, he was going to block Jared’s number and never speak to him again.

The ringing stopped. Evan was weaker than he expected. He picked up the phone and texted Jared.

Evan: What do you want?

Jared: why don’t you answer the phone and I’ll tell you?

Evan: No thank you.

Jared: dude come on

Evan locked his phone and put it under his pillow. This was not happening. He went downstairs to get breakfast. Breakfast was normal.

“Oh, didn’t think you’d be up before I left.” Heidi swept over and kissed his head. “Jared told me what happened last night.”

Evan whipped around, knocking the cereal box over. “What?”

“He told me you two snuck some drinks.” She said, digging through her purse. “He said you weren’t feeling well and that’s why you were in the bathroom.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Evan’s heart rate slowed. “Um… I’m sorry.”

Heidi looked up, smiling. “It’s alright. I was a teenager once, believe it or not. I get it.” She ruffled his hair. “I’m just glad you did it in a safe place with someone who was looking out for you.”

Evan flushed. Yeah, he was definitely moving countries today.

“Alright, I’m off.” She collected her keys and phone. “I’ll be home by six, okay? Have a good day.” She kissed his forehead and walked off.

Evan poured himself a slow bowl of cereal. He heard the front door open.

“Oh!” His mother’s voice echoed down the hall. “Hi sweetie.”

No.

“Yeah he’s here.”

No. No. No.

“He’s in the kitchen. Go on in.”

Evan abandoned his cereal and ran for the stairs. He didn’t make it. Jared was leaning against the banister, as if he knew Evan would run.

The door was closed. Heidi was gone. It was just Evan and Jared. Evan was debating which of them he should kill when Jared spoke.

“You were drunk.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Evan. You were drunk.” Jared said again, like Evan wasn’t understanding.

Oh. Jared was giving him an out. An excuse.

“Okay.” Evan nodded slowly. “Yeah, I was drunk.”

“Right.” Jared looked at the floor. “So I didn’t want to be the guy that like… takes an advantage of a drunk person.”

Oh. Oooooooh. This wasn’t an excuse. It was an explanation. An explanation for Jared’s actions.

“I wasn’t that drunk.” Evan said because he wasn’t sure what Jared was admitting.

“Yeah well, I couldn’t tell how drunk you were. But I knew you were drunk. I mean drunk enough to… do that. So…” Jared shrugged. He still wouldn’t look at Evan.

“Yeah. I don’t know why I did that. I mean-I don’t… I wouldn’t have…” Every end to every sentence felt wrong. They sounded wrong. He wouldn’t have kissed Jared sober, but not because of Jared. Jared was the one good part, it was Evan’s brain that stopped him. But how was he supposed to explain that without further humiliating himself?

“I know.” Jared nodded. “That’s why I didn’t want to… reciprocate. Because I knew you’d regret it tomorrow. And I feel like we could bounce back from that if it stopped where it did.”

“I don’t regret it.” Evan blurted. Then he felt his face burn. He just couldn’t stand when Jared did that. Acted like he knew no one would be attracted to him despite the multiple people in the past who were.

Jared finally looked at him. He said nothing, just waited.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am extremely-like unbelievably embarrassed. And I do regret… how it happened. And the fact that I just-the way I did it. I regret pretty much everything about the way it happened but just-don’t think-I don’t want you to think I didn’t know what I was doing. It was…. The alcohol gave me the courage not the idea.”

Jared continued to stare. He continued to say nothing. Evan squirmed under his gaze. He had nothing left to say but by god he would start talking again if Jared didn’t.

Luckily, Jared did talk. “So if we were sober, and you were a fundamentally different person, you would’ve still done it?”

“Yes.” Evan said. He was starting to think it was stupid how they wouldn’t just say the word. Like they were ten years old. “If we were sober and I didn’t have to think everything I ever do to death before I can even try and do it, I would’ve kissed you.”

Jared nodded, like that settled the matter. Like things were cleared up now, even though Evan felt more confused than ever.

“Have you eaten yet?”

Evan thought back to his half poured bowl of cereal. “No.”

“Me neither. Let’s get breakfast.” Jared said, like they didn’t just have the conversation they just had.

“I… uh…”

“Get dressed.” Jared instructed. “I don’t have all day.”

“Yeah?” Evan asked, stepping past him on the stairs. “What else are you doing today?”

“Stuff. And things. And also activities.”

Evan snorted. “Sure.” He went to his room and changed quickly.

When he came back down, Jared was waiting by the door, keys in his hand.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere cheap.” Jared said, holding the door for him.

“Thank god.”

“Hey.”

Evan turned. Jared had followed him to the passenger side of the car. “Yes?”

Jared hesitated, confidence slipping off his face. “Um.”

Realization dawned on Evan, of what Jared was trying to do. “You can do it.” Evan assured him. “If you want.”

“I want.” Jared said, continuing to stand there. Then, all in one motion, he stepped forward, grabbed Evan’s shoulders, and kissed him. Evan barely had time to adjust before Jared was stepping back, clearing his throat, and walking back to the driver’s side.

Evan got in the car and it took him a few seconds to realize he was still smiling like an idiot.

#lightweight Evan saying ‘fuck it! kiss Jared!’#she’s a bit lengthy but that’s ok #also I keep finding typos when I go to read peoples tags on them I’m so annoyed 😭 I read this one like 7 times if I see a typo later I’m #gonna lose it #yesterday I just slipped two whole words in a sentence and I put Jared instead of Evan at one point smh #deh #Kleinsen #my writing

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