#gonna have to fucking drive to the goddamn pharmacy (hour one way) to get a new fill if it doesnt get here by Tuesday

[bunnyb34r]

Whelp I dont think I'm getting my meds (or any mail) today :/

#marquilla #she's like 8 hours late... i dont think she's coming.... #mr krabs ringing that bell: DAY 9 LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 9!!!! #my skin feels like it's gonna scrape itself off my body in one big slough #i was out in the rain twice today and my skin burned so bad when it touched me i wanted to scream #i did have 'good' moments today pain wise today but uh id like me meds... please #gonna have to fucking drive to the goddamn pharmacy (hour one way) to get a new fill if it doesnt get here by Tuesday #bc i called LAST tuesday... bitch.......... #im glad it wasnt my mental health meds but like.... this pain is affecting my mh sgdgdgdgdg but withdrawl from mh meds is dangerous #and painful... like in many ways 😬 #hey ill pay one of yall to peel my skin off me #$100 but if you can get it all in one piece and make a skin suit ill give you $500 #my tolerance for bullshit is low and baldy is lucky he didnt say the 'idk who told you to use clear totes' to newlady and not me bc i #would have SCREAMED id have to have had laughed as i said it so it seemed like i was pointing it out as ironic and funny oopsie! #but i really mean it in a 'how are you this fucking stupid at your job... how' #i was getting real creative with my insults ab him today sgdgdgdgdg

[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

#AHHHHHH WHAT R UR THOUGHTS WHAT DO YOU WANNA SEE NEXT #stem koo #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook au #jungkook college au #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook headcanon #jungkook series

[lejoursdor]

I feel so fucking violated.

For the last few weeks my landlord has been harassing me - passive aggressively texting me about things that could and should be taken care of after a single conversation but instead were drawn out through multiple, long, inappropriate (not to mention rude) texts at ALL hours of the day (including 3 different instances between 2-4 AM). I have had to put my phone on DND just so I could get some sleep/peace of mind at night because I have been having sleeping problems for MONTHS due to my autoimmune disease/fibromyalgia and most recently good ol’ fashion insomnia. 

I thought this morning the whole situation was finally over and that I could finally move on and focus on centering my self and nothing else today. I was unexpectedly forced to go off my depression/anxiety meds due to issues with my insurance and have been working HARD for the last month to monitor and work through the side effects that stopping that kind of medication can cause. Luckily, I had started back on birth control a month or so prior so my hormones were already in the process of getting regulated so it hasn’t been THAT bad. I only had maybe 2 days where things were scary/alarming. But otherwise it has been okay considering. A lot of bursting into tears and taking much longer to bounce back from negativity entering my life (AKA: my landlord) but I’ve been praying no sort of suicidal tendencies/ideations spring up but so far okay but I’m still on high alert just in case.

So since this drama was seemingly over and she would have literally NO REASON to contact me, at least for the day - I decided I would make today a ME day. To try to get me back on track as much as possible. I went to the pharmacy to try to straighten out some stuff with my meds but there was a setback and it’s gonna be a little bit trickier for me to get back on my anxiety/depression meds than previously thought. But I wasn’t feeling defeated so I switched gears and chose to decompress and get all the bad energy out. Maybe after 30 mins of leaving my place, I come back from the pharmacy to check my phone and i have two texts from her about the electricity temporarily being turned off & some other unimportant shit. Quickly texted that I wasn't home yada yada didn’t care byeeee. 

Shortly after I started to drive around aimlessly and listen to music. I drove through my high school best friend’s old neighborhood, by her old house and down the street to the park we used to always go to. I parked and sat there in my car for maybe 45 minutes. Just thinking of what my life has been for the last 15 years since I first went to that park. That no matter how many years have past, I still feel everything from back then, I still feel her. That I will always love and miss who she was in that snapshot in time even though I know she is no longer that person, without even having to know who she is now. That this void that she left can never be filled again, not even by her because that person, the person that I formed quite possibly the closest bond I’ve ever made - is gone. She’s so gone, she may as well have died. It happens and is a part of life and I’ve long since accepted it but that doesn't mean it doesn’t still break my heart. 

After the park I made my way to the city where my mother grew up and unintentionally ended up in the neighborhood of my grandmother’s old house. Maybe I wasn’t cognizant of what I was doing in the moment but maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I purposely led myself there. As soon as I saw the sign for Kelley Ave. i immedietely started tearing up and I just needed to see the house. Even if it doesn’t look the same, even if someone else lives there now. I drove by and it set off a bunch of emotions at once. Every couple of years I hit this point where i really miss her. The last time it was like this was my 25th birthday that I ended up spending alone. On my way home it was like a dam had burst and I couldn’t stop crying. I got home and decided I would take the rest of the afternoon to go for a walk, focus on getting through my emotions in peace. I walked to a park not too far. I ended up laying down, listening to music and bawling my eyes out. I started running all these memories of her through my mind. I wouldn’t say I came to the realization but in reflecting on the last 15 years it’s become glaringly apparent that the only safe space I’ve ever had was with her, in that house. Not the one I grew up in and definitely not where I am now. I kept trying to imagine what it would be like for 31 year old me to be able to show up at her house, walk through the door, into her kitchen, straight towards the sun soaked living room where she would be sitting in front of the glass coffee table like she always was. She’d probably be writing on napkins in Japanese, with the TV on, not watching what was on. I would sit down next to her and hug her and she would hug me back and tap my shoulder and say “Hi Chantel.” like she used to, in her strong accent, with her warm smile. And we would sit next to each other in comfortable silence like we always did and I would watch her as she scrawled her native language on leftover McDonald’s napkins. My grandmother was and still is the only family member of mine that I was ever allowed to be myself in her presence. Maybe it was a cultural thing, it just never crossed her mind that I needed to change/fit a particular mold because it wasn’t an idealogy she was familiar with, unlike my ant’s, parents, uncle’s etc. We had a great relationship, I was her first grandchild and I know that had a lot to do with it. I knew her relationship with my mom and my ant’s/uncle’s were more complicated, so not everyone has the same feelings about her as I do. But I was her favorite and she was mine and it is the only time I have ever been anyone’s favorite. She died when I was 14, she’s been gone for basically half my life now but I still would give anything to see her now and I don’t think I will ever get used to her being gone, no matter how long. All I want is to be next to her, we don’t even need to talk, I just want her to be able to be here now. I miss her so much, all I want is the chance to be with her again...

After an hour or so I walked back and started to feel a little better. Maybe not better but felt like I was able to let a lot out. All I wanted to do was go home, wind down and salvage the rest of the day and indulge in much needed self care. Where I currently stay, I have my own separate entrance attached to the main house but in order to get to my entrance I have to pass by the front of the house which currently has one of those doorbell’s with a camera attached that alerts people on their phone when there is any movement. I unlock my door and get inside. I literally put my keys, phone etc down and maybe 5 seconds pass since I’ve gotten inside and a text pops up from my landlord. 

“Nothing like fresh air for the soul! Hope your feeling better. I have good and bad days too!” 

I think this is the only moment I've ever wanted to murder someone.

I just came back from spending two hours mourning my dead grandmother, after a day filled with repressed emotions coming to the surface due to an awful few weeks (mostly due to my landlord) and I can't even come home with the expectation that I wouldn’t be bothered by her for the rest of the night. 

Today was just not the day. 

Not the time, place or her business. 

I feel like I have no peace anymore, the little I was able to grasp on to.

She has stolen it from me with her unchecked neurosis, constantly invading common boundaries. 

I’m at my wits end, truly. And I’m not sure what to do.

AND GODDAMN. I CAN’T EVEN FINISH THIS FUCKING POST WITHOUT MY PHONE NOTIFYING ME I’VE GOTTEN A TEXT FROM HER.

GTHGTYYJ$%$%$$#$#!@@@@!!!

(Insert the dog surrounded by fire “I’m fine” meme) 

Singing off with whatever’s left of my sanity.

xx. 

#Blog post #Journal #Vent #Blog #Journaling #Mental Health #Anxiety #Depression #Boundaries #Loss #Death #Personal

[richie-fuckface-tozier]

medicine - reddie wedding

the gay wedding we deserved as a head canon ! also, I was listening to the song medicine by the 1975 and realized how much it radiates reddie energy, so here, enjoy this reddie hc :

- basically fuck all that clown bs that bitch ain’t SHIT

- both Eddie and Stanley are alive? It’s canon Stephen king idk what you’re talking about

- basically Richie and Eddie are happy bitches and love each other so much and we just can’t thank Beverly enough for encouraging both Richie and Eddie to confess their life long feelings for another and Stan for practically exposing them for loving one another

- it went a little like this : they were all at dinner and alcohol was in their veins

- and Eddie and Richie are bickering (per usual)

- Richie pulls some dumb your mom joke again that basically makes no sense and Stan has had : enough for the night so he just says

- “oh god shut the fuck up richie we all know that you’re gay”

- “-actually, that you two are gay. Especially for one another.” He adds sassily.

- Beverly just stares at Stanley angrily because she kind of told him after both Eddie and Richie privately came to her and told her that they both have feelings for each other but Stan’s always speculated it

- obviously I mean

- how couldn’t you

- so richie and eddie are just dead silent alongside the other losers

- and then Richie just says “I’d prefer the term ‘bisexual’ but kudos to you for OUTING me, dickhead”

- Stans just like : 🤷🏻‍♀️

- and Eddie is, for once in his life, just quiet about it

- they don’t talk about it and bill changes the subject as soon as possible to talk and discuss about a new ending he had planned for a new book he’s writing

- in fact, that book is just straight up about 7 kids fighting a killer clown in the sewers and shit

- Bill had planned for him to get the girl, but Ben doesn’t approve (nor does Beverly, to be honest)

- Stans kind of pissed about it too because he gay

- anywho so Eddie sleeps over at Richie’s after

- and Richie knew it was going to get awkward as fuck but Eddie couldn’t help himself on the drive to his place and just shot it out

- “you have feelings for me to?”

- “I mean, you’re annoying as hell, but it’s cute-wait, what do you mean by ‘too’?”

- and Eddie just places his hand on Richie’s

- kudos to Eddie for making the first step ily babe

- still doesn’t mean he’s a top you fuckers

- “I like you, a lot”

- yup so they fuckin at the end of the night

- it’s cute tho cause they gay

- they start to passionately date and although it seems to annoy the fuck out of Stanley he’s so goddamn happy for the two for finally making it happen

- he’s been legit rooting for them since ‘89

- hardcore and first reddie shipper

- so like not long after Richie actually manages to get his grandmothers ring or something

- Eddie has tiny hands™️

- and after three months he already proposes and it’s so inappropriately adorable

- like, he had planned this whole romantic gesture when they travelled to Paris to support Beverly at her fashion show, and Richie was going to do it completely cliché under the stars at the Eiffel Tower

- turns out, he accidentally does it at one of his stand up comedy shows

- btw, a bitch is : famous

- cowrites and acts in some snl sketches and oml Eddie couldn’t be more proud of him

- so at one of his stand up shows, he’s talking about Eddie, something he usually does

- Eddie couldn’t be there for that show but he definitely watched it on tv

- richies also in a completely different state and he returns 3 days after that show

- so Richie says some shit along the lines “so, my boyfriends a bitch. But it’s okay, because soon, I’ll make him my bitch”

- he’s kind of unaware that Eddie’s seeing all of this

- “that sounds wrong, which it is, I can assure you that. But it’s okay, I love him, more than I love his mom”

- his fans love his mom jokes, especially because they know it’s about Eddie’s mom

- at some point he just lovingly but stupidly goes “fuck, man, sometimes I just look at him for like 30 minutes and think ‘shit, he likes me back’ and I watch him do these small noises while he sleeps and how he smiles when I gently touch his hair or when I kiss his forehead, and I watch him blush...and I’m just thinking ‘marry me, you bitch!’” He yelled and Eddie was kind of surprised, but his heart was fluttering so much

- especially when he saw the beautiful ring Richie showed to the crowd

- “so, yeah, I’m a dumbass. I was supposed to propose just a few weeks ago in Paris, you know, the usual cliché bullshit, but I forgot the ring back in LA! And then I was about to do it in a Taco Bell, you know, propose, but my hands were all greasy and I couldn’t even properly hold the steering wheel after that. And now-”

- he stopped, falling on one knee

- “I’m just gonna propose? On stage? Without him noticing?”

- yep Richie definitely had some drinks before that but Eddie couldn’t stop laughing and blushing and crying and ugh

- Richie starts pouring his heart and soul out but with humor obviously added and at some point he just repeats I love you like a hundred times over again and jumps around with his hyper ass

- people are enjoying this gay mess

- “should I say, will you marry me, eds? Or will you lawfully take me as your bitch?” He asked to the crowd and everyone had different answers, which just made him laugh.

- “he’ll complain about me calling him eds, so that could guarantee a no”

- he stopped about the proposing for a while and Eddie definitely had no proper sleep for the next 3 days

- Richie just comes home on a rainy night and Eddie’s already ready for bed, and when he answers the door he just jumps into Richie’s arms and kisses him oh so passionately

- “I do, Richie. I do. I want to be yours.” He whispered against his lips and for a second there Richie was completely confused but smiled and they both started crying and being in passionate love

- Stanley when he finds out, Jesus.

- stan has emotions? Hell yeah a whole LOT of them

- anyway back to the gay wedding

- so it’s the 20th of April

- yes, Richie chose that date and Eddie just thought it was a normal date without any meaning whatsoever

- man oh man was he wrong by the time the invites were sent

- Richie’s wearing a suit, a black one, it’s nice but casual and he took maybe 4 hours to choose the right one for the right one

- Eddie is wearing a white suit that so nice and soft and silky and he’s so in love with it

- and under Richie’s request, or well rather damand, he’s wearing a small veil with a small flower hair clip on the side of his hair (que, Stefon’s fairwell)

- Eddie is : panacking on their wedding day and Bill and Mike help him calm down as much as possible

- his inhaler won’t even help he’s a : mess

- Richie is pretty chill and everyone’s just like ??? what the fuck you’re marrying the love of your life today you dickwad and he’s just like “okay”

- but that all seems to change when Eddie walks down the eisle and Richie just gets so weak in the knees

- it’s like seeing him the first time

- btw, their first encounter was at the pharmacy of the summer of ‘86, richie tried contact lenses for the first time that summer and had to pick them up, but he stupidly forgot his glasses that day so he just ended up bumping through the entire store

- including Eddie

- Eddie was way too soft at that time and he just looked at him and helped him all the way to the counter and helped him get his prescription and fuck

- Richie could tell by his voice and his blurry vision that he saw an angel

- they had multiple classes together but Bill was the first one to really introduce him to the losers

- anyway Richie’s almost crying and Eddie is nearly having a heart attack

- but as soon as he arrives and everyone applauds, Richie just takes his hand to assure that he’s doing okay

- Richie is wearing contact lenses btw

- Eddie is so soft for that shit because he knows how deep Richie takes things and knows it’s about their first encounter

- Richie didn’t really think about that though until Eddie referenced it later and he’s like “yeah, uhhh, totallyyyyy” but he just didn’t want to wear his glasses on his wedding day

- especially because they broke the night before on his bachelor party

- don’t even ask unless you want a single hc for THAT

- they don’t even listen to the priest talking and just admire each other’s presence

- Richie doesn’t even hear him say “will you take eduard kaspbrak as your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death-”

- “oh please, have you met me? I will love the hell out of this bitch”

- Eddie is just so embarrassed but he loves him so much so he’s the first to crack up after everyone went dead silent and gasped

- “you really had to say hell, Tozier?”

- “sorry, tozier in 5 minutes”

- Eddie blushes and it’s his turn to say, after the priest took that as an obvious I do, and Eddie just immediately blurts out and can’t even hold his excitement, jumping up and down for the priest to finish before saying himself “I do, till death tear us apart”

- Richie cries, Eddie cries, Stanley’s SOBBING (Stanley btw, Richie’s best man), Beverly and Ben and mike and Bill are all crying the hell out of them

- bev is Eddie’s bridesmaid and the other losers basically are too lmao

- “I will now pronounce you husbands-” Richie is already eating Eddie’s face and everyone’s jumping up and applauding

- everyone’s throwing white roses after them as they get out, Richie holding Eddie bridal style to the limousine

- they spend the wedding in a nice hall and the decorations are whites and wine red

- decoration and designing both by Ben and Beverly. They really went all out with this and the two couldn’t thank them enough.

- red velvet cake with both Richie and Eddie as figures on them.

- after Richie’s request, they made Eddie purposely smaller and Richie’s just loving Eddie’s anger about this but it’s not too bad because it’s his wedding day, with the love of his life

- Stanley makes a toast, prepare to cry :

- “Maybe since 1988 I’ve been waiting to call Eddie Eddie Tozier. I sometimes did when Richie wasn’t around because I didn’t want to be that mean to Richie. I knew he had hardcore feelings for him. Richie was so in love with him that he’d sometimes come to me crying about Eddie, how much he loves him. I was the first one to know. I was the only one to know.”

- Beverly stands up, going on : “Eddie told me he loved Richie. It was first a like situation, but it truly and quickly turned into true love. I was always there to support Eddie. I could never be mad about it.”

- Bill goes on, saying “I-I never knew until n-now, b-but I c-couldn’t be more proud of them. I d-don’t know how I would’ve thought about it b-back then, them being homosexual, but then was then, and now is now. I am so happy for them.”

- Ben says “I couldn’t think of anyone else for them. Richie belongs to Eddie. Eddie belongs to Richie. They were meant for each other. God wanted this. No one knows how important this love story is, and I am so glad I can be apart of this.”

- Mike, finally stands up and adds “all of this bickering was just them confessing their love for another over and over again” he pauses to laugh with the others, and Eddie and Richie are crying so much, Eddie more than Richie. Eddie’s sobbing but Richie, his tears are just falling down and he’s holding onto Eddie’s hand with the ring on with his own ring wearing hand. “So, us losers, we couldn’t be more proud of how you two have finally made it. You two deserve one another. Till death do you apart”

- stan finally ends off with “honestly, I’m great full that I accidentally drunkenly said that you two loved each other” everyone laughs, alongside the two. “But you two were simply meant to be, and even though I always seemed like I hated you two, it was just me being sick and tired of you not finally kissing one another.” He smiled. “Till death do you apart” everyone says, raising their glasses, and everyone else does so too.

- they all party and eat cake a little until the wedding dance is on. Their song is ‘medicine’ by the 1975. Richie and Eddie loved the 1975 and it once played on this playlist Richie made for Eddie and then the whole day long they were just dancing to it

- this was pre-engagement by the way, turns out they were learning their wedding dance all along

- so they dance, Richie takes the man role of the dance, and Eddie just has his hands wrapped around Richie’s neck. They can’t stop looking at each other and kissing each other and they both always mouth along the song, especially at the chorus

- “in case you’re my medicine, yeah you’re my medicine”

- Richie softens up at the part “I, i wanna marry you”

- after the dance everyone applauds of course and they just party a little

- maybe around 4am everyone else goes home except the losers. The losers go to the beach and hang out together until the sunrise.

- it’s so beautiful because they make a small fire and then just watch the sunrise and Eddie and Richie are just so in : love

- and everyone’s so happy for them

- Jesus Stanley can’t stop crying and Richie makes fun of him forever for that

- they all go home and Richie and Eddie into their new home, which is so nice, and then

- ya know

- they fuck

- and after that, Eddie falls asleep first, Richie can’t stop staying awake and he just looks at the ceiling with Eddie in his arms, wearing the brightest smile he’s ever worn, and just whispers to himself

- “holy shit, he likes me back”

- and then he just admires Eddie and at some point, he falls asleep

- they’re the happiest together, don’t come for me

- it’s canon you fuckersssss

- also they adopt a pomaranian and later a girl

- aLSO (nearly forgot to add this, I came up with this during bills part of the speech) bill ends his story with the two best friends of the main characters ending up together, although he nearly killed off one of the characters, he edited it and they end up together and live a happy life together

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #the losers club #itchapter2 #reddie #reddiehcs #headcanon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #bill denbrough #stanley uris #mike hanlon #the 1975 #medicine

[the-mykie-show]

Leather and Lace (part 3)

Before the apocalypse Negan was your favorite teacher who you also had a massive crush on, the two of you are reunited in Alexandria and you discover that the fire between you is far from extinguished.

Requests are open

*rating* explicit.

*warnings* graphic descriptions of sex, graphic descriptions of violence.

You pack your belongings into the back seat of Negan's Charger in your driveway, it takes two trips even with the Saviors helping while Negan stood by giving the Alexandrians a glare that said “say it and die” having morphed back into ruthless leader mode, his eyes becoming steely and cold, and his demeanor at attention and intimidating, with Lucille on his shoulder serving as a constant threat. He looks like a different man to the one you were just with inside the privacy of your house.

You could tell that Rick and the Alexandrians had something to say about your decision to leave with Negan, and they more than likely knew you'd slept with him. They must hate you now.

You're placing the last box in the back seat when you see a familiar face cutting through the crowd of onlookers that had gathered to gawk at you, it's your ex boyfriend's sister, you didn't know her well but you knew her nonetheless.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” she asks. At first you're worried she thinks Negan is forcing you to go with him, and you don't notice the anger in her eyes before you reassure her.

“Nothing I don't want,” you whisper to her, making sure the rest of the crowd doesn't hear.

“Oh I know, you're just a whore.” you look at her taken aback “How could you sleep with him? How could you do that to my brother? Your community? He killed our friends. What the fuck is wrong with you?” you're too shocked to respond, and even more shocked when she cocks her arm back and slaps you across the face.

You almost fall over, and after everything happens so fast, several Saviors are grabbing her and throwing her to the ground, Negan's hand is on your shoulder helping you to stand up straight.

“What the fuck, Rick?!” Negan yells “This is some unacceptable shit.” you know he's about to kill someone if you don't stop him.

“No, no Negan, it's fine.” you stand up, gingerly touching your cheek where it violently stings. “you don't have to punish anyone, let's just go.” your fingers come away bloody, she must've scratched you deep enough to break the skin.

“It sure as fuck is not fine, sweetheart.” you reach out to lay a hand on his arm, pleading him with your eyes “But ya know what, Rick? I'll let this one slide with a warning for her. But if your people ever lay a hand on my people again there will be consequences. Got it?” Rick nods and the Saviors let your attacker get up, roughly shoving her back towards her house.

You get in Negan's car without even saying goodbye to anyone. You're not wanted here anymore and you'd made your choice. You pull down the visor and check yourself in the mirror, your cheek is bruised, and deep scratch runs across your cheekbone. It's nothing you can't handle, you've had way worse injuries and taken way harder hits, it's what the minor wound stands for that makes you feel sick to your stomach. Negan joins you after a while, sitting Lucille on the console between you, and sliding the key in the ignition.

Negan's hand grips your thigh, pulling you from your thoughts. “You okay, baby?” you can tell he's worried that you're having second thoughts and what he's going to do if you are, considering the fact your community probably wouldn't take you back.

“Yeah, just thinking.”

He doesn't need you to tell him about what. “I know this wasn't an easy decision for you to make, but I'm glad you made it. You'll be happy at the Sanctuary, I'll take care of you.” he reassures you.

“I know you will.” you smile.

“Good. Now what do you say we go home?” you nod.

The three hour ride back to the Sanctuary is quiet, Negan focusing on the road and you getting lost in your thoughts you both lapse into a comfortable silence until you see a looming factory building aporching on the horizon, the gates abnored with two imposing statues of angels, the once shining white paint is cracked, you can't help but cringe when you notice that the statues are draped with decomposing human hands on chains. You knew Negan enforced eye-for-an-eye punishments but you didn't realize it was that biblical.

He sees you eyeballing the statues as you drive passed them “it's just a scare tactic, honey, keeps the riff raff out, most are hands from the dead ones.” he reassures you.

“And the ones that aren't?” you're almost afraid to ask.

“Men who put their hands where they shouldn't have been. Some stole medicine, medicine that others needed too, risked lives out of selfishness and laziness. Some hit their wives or girlfriends, which is something I absolutely do not stand for. If they can't keep their hands off their woman they just don't deserve to have hands anymore.” he explained, it isn't as bad as you feared it would be. Brutal, yes, but it was violence with a purpose, and that purpose was protecting his people.

Several men push aside chain link gates, letting the convoy pull through into a dusty yard, bordered by more chain link fence with rows of the dead chained to them, you would assume it's another scare tactic to “keep the riff raff out” as Negan put it.

Negan gestures to a couple of the Saviors “Take her bags to my room, and unload the rest of this shit as usual. I'm gonna show our new guest around a little bit.” he throws an arm around your waist and leads you towards the stairs leading up a set of double doors. Negan shoves them open and stepped out onto a platform overlooking the factory floor with his signature whistle.

Bellow you on the factory floor a market place has been set up, small wooden booths sell clothes, toiletries, food, there's even a pharmacy, and someone selling homemade potato chips. The moment everyone sees Negan they drop to their knee, as if they're kneeling in reverence of him. You glance from him to the kneeling crowd.

“Pretty awesome huh?” he says with a smirk “They respect the shit outta me, and they'll respect you too.” his hand strokes down your back “As you were.” he shouts and the crowd rises to their feet and go back to their jobs.

“Everyone here has a job, they earn points with that job, it works as a currency, and they buy what they need to live. Food, meds, luxury items, the works. You don't have to worry about points though.” he explained as you walk with him through the makeshift marketplace.

“Why not?” you ask, your brow furrowing.

“Because you made the exempt list darlin’ reserved only for my Saviors, my top workers, and any special ladies in my life.” part of you feels a pang of jealousy at the plural, but Negan was clearly a man with an appetite and it wasn't like the two of you were exactly official… Or even in a traditional relationship for that matter.

“So my job is what? Fucking you?” you ask.

“Yes and no. You can most certainly choose that to be your one and only job if it's what you want and you won't catch me complaining. But if it's not you can help out in other areas too.” you can tell the workers are already a little afraid of you, and you shoot a reassuring smile at an older lady selling baby items.

“I think you already know what my answer is.” you reply, making Negan chuckle but nod, agreeing to find you a more useful job then having sex with him.

Negan shows you the marketplace, the dining hall, the rec rooms where they actually have tvs that play old DVDs and VHS tapes, video games, and a small collection of communal CDs, and one room that actually serves as a working bar. There's also an infirmary, and a makeshift school for the kids.

Negan's room is on the top floor of the Sanctuary, looking at it you wouldn't ever think beyond the mahogany double doors the apocalypse was happening. It's surprisingly clean for a man's bedroom, plush rugs cover the cement floor, the wall of mismatched colored glass windows is covered with black curtains, and several black leather couches and chairs are arranged around a glass coffee table, but the first thing you notice when you walk in is the four poster, king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

The bed Negan wastes no time in throwing you down on. You still feel a dull ache between your legs left over from the pounding you took from Negan that morning, but nonetheless the moment you feel his lips against your neck the familiar throb of arousal is back in full force. Negan was damn near insatiable and you loved it.

Laying back against the pillows, you enjoy the feeling of his scuff scratching against your skin, and the soft sucking of his mouth against that sensitive little spot at the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You could get use to this. He pulls your shirt over your head, and somehow managed to unclasp your bra one handed while his other hand slides down to pull the garment off.

He slowly makes his way down to your breasts, sucking and nipping your skin as he goes, sometimes hard enough you're sure it's going to leave a mark, but you don't care. In fact for the first time in your life you like the idea of being marked up, a little reminder that you're his now.

His tongue slowly circles your nipple when he finally reached it. “Goddamn! You taste so fucking good, I'll never get tired of it.” he moans against your overly sensitive bud, and you would never get tired of him tasting you.

Once he's sucked your nipple into a hard peak he moved onto the other. He stands up, helping you out of your jeans before stripping off his own shirt. You stay laying back, leaning on your elbows, watching him, waiting for him to lift your legs onto his shoulders and bury his face between your legs. You know that's what he wants. But instead Negan flops down on his back next to you.

“Sit up, babygirl. I wanna try something.” you give him a curious look but do as he says, sitting up on your knees. He pulls you so that you're straddling him. “You ever had a guy eat you out like this?” he asked, and it dawns on you that he wants you to sit on his face.

“No.” you admit, and for the first time since your reunion with Negan you actually feel the age difference, he's a lot more experienced than you are. It's a little awkward, but oddly a turn on at the same time.

“Well then come on.” he pulls you further up his body so you're hovering just over his face, you feel so exposed and vulnerable to him even though you're technically the one in control.

“Negan, wait. Isn't this gonna like… Suffocate you?” you feel your face get hot at the question.

He laughs “I mean we all die sometime or another and literally drowning in pussy seems like a damn good way to go out.” you stare at him with raised eyebrows.

“I'm just giving you shit, sweetheart. It'll be fine, you'll like it,trust me.” you finally relent, nodding and straddling his face. Negan looks like a kid in a candy store as you lower yourself down onto his mouth. His tongue eagerly finds your swollen bundle of nerves, lapping up the wetness that had gathered there. It feels different from this angle, more intense. When his tongue circles your entrance and slips inside you it goes deeper than you thought possible, you moan loudly at the sensenation, your hips involuntarily bucking against him.

He gladly let's you thrust yourself against his mouth, licking and sucking your clit, fucking you with his tongue, and lapping up your arsoual. You become more comfortable, gripping the headboard and moving your hips against his mouth, working his tongue right where you want it. His hands grip your hips, helping you thrust.

You never thought you'd enjoy this as much as you are, and judging by the moans coming from him, he's enjoying it almost as much as you are.

Your orgasm builds quickly, and sneaks up on you, it's the most intense orgasm you've ever had from having a man's tongue between your legs.

As soon as you've come down for your high he lays you down on the bed. “See, told you that you'd love it.” he said, shooting you his signature cocky smirk.

“that you did. Now it's my turn.” you crawl over him, your hands undoing his belt. He lifts his hips, helping you yank his pants down to let his erection spring free.

Once his cock is free and in your face you lose some of your bravado, you really aren't that experienced with blow jobs, and you've never given one to a man as well endowed as Negan. You feel like a virginal high school girl all over again, he really had a way of bringing that out of you.

Oh well, too late now, you'd have to try.

Taking a deep breath, you grip him by the base, and slowly trace the vein on the underside of his manhood with your tongue making his hips twitch, and then move to suck on his tip, tasting the slightly bitter precome that had gathered there. A deep moan leaves his lips, his head is thrown back against the pillow, seeing Negan like that gave you a little confidence boost.

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you swallow his cock as far into the back of your throat as you can, hollowing your cheeks with a hard suck you fight your gag reflex. Your hand squeezes his balls, forcing a guttural moan out of Negan.

"OH goddammit! that's it baby" he groans and you double your efforts, making your eyes water as you bob your head up and down, letting the swollen head hit the back of your throat each time you take him all the way in.

You feel his hand slip between your legs, long, nimble fingers teasing your over stimulated clit, and dipping inside your core, still wet from your orgasm and his tongue. You moan around his shaft at the feeling of his fingers filling you. He slowly thrusts them in and out a few times, rubbing your g-spot, while you suck teasingly on the head of his manhood, licking the precome away from the slit all the while.

Then you feel the pad of his index finger slide further back from your entrance rubbing against the tight ring of muscle of your ass, you jump in surprise, but don't protest. It feels both strange and good at the same time.

"You okay with this, babygirl?" you nod, still licking at the tip of his cock. He rubs a bit harder, lowering his other hand to tease your clit, he only stops when the pleasure of having your mouth wrapped around his shaft becomes too much, and he finds his release. He gives you fair warning before he blows his load, but you let him come in the back of your throat, sucking him clean and continuing to tease his overstimulated tip with your tongue until he pulls you off.

"That's enough of that baby, now why don't you let daddy see that tight little ass?" hearing him refer to himself as "daddy" does something to you that you never thought it would. He spreads you out on your stomach across his bed, parting your legs to expose your still dripping pussy. He massages your asshole with his middle finger, using your natural lube to work the tip just barely inside you, it feels very foreign and a little uncomfortable.

"You've really never had anything in there huh?" he asks.

"No." you say. You hear him open his nightstand drawer, and tense up at the sound of the cap coming off a bottle of lube.

"I do love a tight little virgin ass. The look on a woman's face first time she feels it being stretched? Oh now that's priceless." You feel a large drop of the cool liquid pool between your asschecks.

"Close your eyes for me, sweetheart." he orders, and you follow. You hear movement and rustling as the lube starts to run down to your pussy. You feel something press against the tight ring of muscle, your eyes shoot open, it slowly slides inside you, making you moan in both pleasure and discomfort. It's not his finger, it's smaller, more round, and feels like…Rubber.

Then you remember your anal beads, the ones you'd never gotten the chance to use before Negan came back into your life.

He presses the next bead inside you, it's a little bigger then the first and you're shocked at how deep inside you the beads feel already. You wonder if he's going to turn on the vibrations.

"You doing okay, babygirl?" he asks.

"Yeah… It just feels weird, but good weird." you admit. He pushes the next bead inside you, it's even bigger and intensifies the stretching feeling.

He keeps going, and the beads keep getting bigger, until you feel so unbelievably full you're not sure you can take anymore when he presses the last bead inside you. Once he's satisfied with his handiwork you feel him spread your ass cheeks to admire it.

"Damn I knew these were going to be useful. That little ass all full for me is fuckin' perfect." his fingers begin exploring your folds again, his other hand begins pumping his manhood.

A load, violent knocking sounds at Negan's bedroom door. "we're kinda busy in here!" he yells.

"We got a problem out here, boss!" a man's voice calls from the other side of the door.

"I don't fucking care, fix it." Negan growls, the anger replacing arousal in his voice.

"Well that's the thing sir… We can't." the man sounds scared, sheepish, he probably knows what he's interpreting you realize with embarrassment.

"You can't? Of course you fucking can't! I'll be right there to wipe your stupid asses for you just give me one second." he groans in frustration, letting his already softening cock slip from his fingers, he begins hunting around the room for his clothes.

" You're leaving? Right now?" you ask, still laying naked in your position on the bed.

"Believe me, I'm no happier about it then you are, sweetheart." he was actually going to leave you like this? Wet and needy with your ass filled with anal beads he'd spent 30 minutes pressing inside you?

"Hey, I'll make it up to you." he reassures you as he puts back on his leather jacket. "In fact why don't I start now. Leave those beads in for me, I won't be too long, there's a few ground rules though." he picks up Lucille and swings the bat to its place on his shoulder. "you don't turn the beads on, and you don't make yourself come, but I am gonna have to ask you to keep that little pussy nice and wet for daddy, so you just slip a finger in there every once in awhile, tickle your clit a little bit, just enough to keep it real hard and swollen. Maybe walk around a little, get that virgin ass use to being full." he laughs.

"And if you're good, I'll turn those beads on when I get back." you whimper in frustration when he slams the door, leaving you to wonder if possible women could get blue balls?

*Author's note* remember to follow me on AO3 under The_mykie_show if you want to actually be notified when I post and see fics at least a day before they're published on this hell site.

#negan #twd negan #negan's thrist squad #negan fanfiction #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #negan fic #negan x reader #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfic #twd fanfiction #negan reader insert #twd reader insert #the walking dead negan #fic requests #reader insert #negan x you #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fic

[write-havoc]

The Glasswing Butterfly Part 17

Summary: Chuck has never thought of herself as anything special. Just an average beta living her life next door to a womanizing alpha named Negan. But her life, and Negan’s too, are turned upside down when Chuck suddenly presents as omega.

This is a non-zombie AU featuring A/B/O dynamics.

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Ongoing

Contains: swearing, smut

Intended for readers 18+ of age only

Masterlist in my bio

“Fuck. Oh fuuuucckk,” Negan groans as his knot swells to completion once again inside Chuck. He can already feel his head clearing, signaling that this cycle of his rut and her heat is coming to an end.

“Mmm,” Chuck hums as she comes down from her own high.

“You good, baby girl?” he whispers into her ear as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her back into his chest.

“I’m good,” she answers dreamily, placing her arms over his wrapped around her.

“You know, I kinda like all the pillows,” he jokes. “Makes shit cozier. Like we’re fucking in a cocoon.”

She giggles. “Now that my heat is just about over, I think we can get rid of them. After your knot goes down, anyway.”

He snuggles more into her back. “We can keep them ‘til tomorrow,” he says with a smirk.

 A few days later, Negan walks into the nearest pharmacy to pick up his prescription of omega condoms, since they are almost completely out after Chuck’s heat. It’s such a hassle having to call his doctor so they can call the pharmacy so Negan can wait in line just so he can sleep with Chuck without her getting pregnant, but it’s necessary. Annoying, but necessary since Chuck can’t take any birth control.

Of course the place is busy when he gets there, so he stands in line patiently waiting until he can get to the counter. It’s a smaller pharmacy than the one back in Charlottesville, so there’s only a few people working there, which is why the line is so long. After a while, he finally gets to the front.

“Prescription for Negan,” he says to the girl behind the counter.

She pauses, giving him an anxious look before she mutters, “Just a moment.” The girl quickly walks away to disappear into the back. After a few minutes, an older man in a lab coat comes forward, obviously the pharmacist and not just a technician like the younger woman from earlier.

“Mr. Negan,” the man starts, “I’m sorry, but I can’t fill your prescription.”

“Why not?” Negan spits back.

“I am morally opposed to providing it to you.”

“ Morally opposed ? What the fuck does that mean?”

The man lets out a huff. “It is my right not to provide drugs that go against my moral and religious beliefs.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have a whole fuckin’ aisle of condoms and lube just over there that anyone can pick up! Or is it just so betas can pick that shit up?”

The pharmacist is starting to look very nervous, but he holds his ground. “I suggest you come back tomorrow. The pharmacist on duty then will probably fill your prescription.”

Negan, fully pissed off now, points his finger right in the man’s face. “This is bullshit and you know it. Classist fuck.” He stomps through the people gawking at the display of what just happened and exits the store.

As soon as Chuck sees Negan come in from where she’s walking down the stairs, she knows something is wrong. “What happened?” she asks as she continues her descent to follow him into the kitchen.

He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water before turning around to answer her. “The pharmacist wouldn’t give me my prescription,” he relays with anger in his tone. “Small town fuckin’ pharmacy,” he mutters.

“What? They can do that?”

“Yeah.” He takes a gulp of water. “‘Religious beliefs’,” he says with quotey fingers. “It’s perfectly fine for doctors and shit to discriminate against us because of a few words in the goddamn bible saying that nothing should come in the way of alphas impregnating omegas.” He takes another angry drink. “Fuckin’ discriminating assholes,” he mutters.

“So we have to find another pharmacy?”

He lets out a huff as he leans back on the counter. “I don’t want to have to fuckin’ drive into DC every time we need a goddamn prescription.” He sets the bottle down and scratches at his cheek. “I’ll go back tomorrow and see if the other pharmacist will do it. If they won’t, then I guess I’ll have to brave fuckin’ DC traffic.”

“Alright.” She goes over to him and gives him a hug. “I’m sorry this is such a hassle.”

He kisses the top of her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s that old ass beta’s fault for being a hateful dick. I can’t believe it’s fuckin’ legal to do that shit still.”

 The next day, Negan heads back to the pharmacy. He waits in line, just like he did yesterday, and when he gets to the counter, he sees the same young woman from yesterday handing out the prescriptions. Once she sees Negan, her eyebrows raise almost like she’s scared.

“Negan,” he says to her without prompt.

“Uh. Yes, sir.” She hurries to the back and comes back with a white bag in her hands. “There you go,” she says quietly, afraid of how the alpha in front of her will react.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he tries to soothe her. “I know you’re just doing your job. It’s not your fault that pharmacist is living in the fuckin’ olden days.”

She gives him a nervous smile. “Thanks.”

After she rings him out, he asks, “So what days does the douchebag pharmacist work so I know to stay away?”

“Uh.” She clears her throat. “I can’t tell you that,” she answers meekly. “It’s company policy.”

He lets out a huff and picks up the bag from the counter. “Of course it is.”

“H-Have a nice day.”

He just gives her a nod and walks out.

 Negan has been working on his bike for a few hours when his phone rings. After the short conversation with an old acquaintance, he makes his way back inside. He’s just about ready to call out for Chuck when he hears music coming from upstairs. He follows the melody to their bedroom to see Chuck practicing her violin.

“Sounds beautiful,” Negan comments from the doorway.

Chuck stops playing to look up at him. “I’m not that good yet. But I’m getting better.” She moves to put the instrument back in it’s case. “I’m glad my mom gave it to me. It’s pretty fun to play.”

Negan takes a few steps into the room. “So... you remember when I told you I was gonna take you to a baseball game?”

She scrunches up her face as she tries to remember. “Not really.”

“Well I did tell you that and now I’m gonna be in possession of two tickets to see my Yankees play in DC. This guy I know came into them and isn’t a fuckin’ fan, so he’s gonna give ‘em to me.”

“Oh,” she replies, trying to sound excited. “That’s nice.”

He just chuckles at her unenthusiastic reaction. “Come on! Baseball is the national pastime!”

“No, I know. I just... don’t watch baseball.” She shrugs a shoulder. “But I’ll go to this game with you.”

“Don’t sound so happy about it,” he jokes sarcastically.

She giggles. “I’m happy... to spend time with you.”

Pulling her into him for a kiss, he chuckles at how hard she’s trying to hide her indifference to his favorite sport.

 Just under a week later, Chuck and Negan (decked out in all his Yankees gear) are sat in Nationals Park in DC waiting for the game to start.

“How are you a Yankees fan?” Chuck asks. “You’ve always lived in Virginia, right?”

“Yeah.” He lets out a sad chuckle. “My dad was born in Boston. Always made me watch the fuckin’ Red Sox. Since my fuckin’ father was an asshole, I decided to root for the Yankees despite him.” When she just looks at him confused, he realizes he has to explain. “The Yankees and the Red Sox are rivals. Have been for decades. It’s like the biggest fuckin’ sports rivalry in history.”

She gives him a little shrug.

“Curse of the Bambino?” he tries, thinking she has to have at least heard of that.

“I don’t know what that is,” she admits.

“Shit,” he groans, but she just laughs.

“My family was never a sports family. We’re band nerds.”

Negan shakes his head, playing up his fake disappointment. “You’re breaking my heart girl. You’ve heard of Babe Ruth, right?”

“Yeah. I know who he is.”

“That’s something, at least.”

As the game gets underway, Chuck tries her best to pay attention to the action on the field. She soon finds that it’s much more entertaining just to watch Negan as he’s watching the game.

*crack* The ball sails through the air as the Nationals batter starts to run to first base.

“Ah, shit! They could get three fuckin’ runs! No!” Negan jumps up from his seat as his eyes follow the ball. “Catch it! Fuckin’ catch it!”

When the ball lands safely in one of the Yankee’s gloves, Negan lets out a cry of relief. But he goes absolutely nuts when the player throws the ball to the guy on third base, which calls one runner out. When the ball is thrown home, the umpire calls another runner from the Nationals out as he slides in.

“Triple play!” Negan screams as he throws his hands up in the air. “Holy shit!”

Chuck can’t help but giggle at how excited he is. It makes him look like a little kid, which is so cute to her.

“Did you fuckin’ see that?!” He turns back to Chuck to see her reaction. “That was fuckin’ amazing. A triple play!”

Chuck nods, though she’s still giggling. “Is that good?”

“Is that good?!” He sits back down, his breathing still rapid from the excitement. “It’s fuckin’ rare and awesome as fuck! I can’t believe I was here for that!”

“I didn’t really see it,” she admits. “I was watching you.”

“What?” He scrunches up his face in confusion. “Why the fuck would you be watching me?”

“Because I like to see you so excited.”

That gets him to let out a chuckle. “I guess I can accept that.” He wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her forward to kiss her.

Once the game is over (Yankees won), Chuck and Negan exit the stadium to make their way home. Despite the horrible gridlock that comes with all the spectators leaving at the same time, Negan is still practically vibrating with enthusiasm.

“That was such a good fuckin’ game,” he comments. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah. I had fun.”

“Did you?” He flicks his gaze over to her. “Or are you just fuckin’ saying that?”

“I did have fun. I had fun because you had fun.”

He shakes his head with a smile on his face. “I’m not making you a fuckin’ fan of baseball anytime soon, am I?”

She shrugs. “Maybe...”

Her attempt at being diplomatic doesn’t fool Negan, but he’s not offended. “I guess we’re just gonna have to continue to disagree on the entertainment value of organized sports.”

She giggles. “That’s probably for the best.”

A few days later, Diane comes for a visit. Since Negan had gotten called in to work, Chuck and her mother have the house to themselves.

“Work’s going well?” Diane asks her daughter as they both sit on the couch, mugs of coffee in their hands.

“Yeah,” Chuck answers. “It’s really good.”

“And Negan?”

Chuck giggles. “He’s good, too.” She brings her mug up to take a sip of her sweet coffee.

“Have you started to talk about the wedding?”

Chuck lets out a little cough into her cup. “Wedding?”

“Well yeah. You know, to your fiancé ?” Diane replies sarcastically.

“We, uh.” Chuck clears her throat. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

“Charlotte Josephine,” her mother chides. “You’ve been engaged for months now.”

“I know. But we’re already mates. And living together. A wedding is just a ceremony, really.”

“A ceremony your mother wants to see!”

Chuck laughs at her dramatics. “We’ll have a wedding at some point, Mom. But I don’t want a big thing. Just a little get together. I mean,” Chuck looks around, “we could do it here. We have a nice back yard.”

“Negan might want it done in a church.”

Chuck gives her a look. “Is that your way of saying that you want it in a church?”

“No,” Diane tries, though Chuck is right. “You haven’t asked Negan, have you?”

“He’s not exactly religious, Mom. Neither am I.”

“There are some gorgeous churches around here-“

“You’ve already been planning the wedding, haven’t you?” Chuck asks, talking over her mother.

Diane doesn’t see the point in hiding it anymore. “Of course I have! You’re my only child. When you were a little girl, I always pictured you meeting a nice boy in college, renting a crappy apartment together, getting engaged, and having a big wedding with everyone’s families. Then you’d get a house, kids, the whole nine yards. But...”

“I wasn’t normal.” Chuck finishes the sentence sadly.

“No. I wasn’t going to say that.”

“But I wasn’t normal. I was an omega, but... not really.”

“I always thought there was someone out there for you,” Diane reassures her daughter. “I was right. Sort of,” she tacks on with a laugh. “I never thought he’d be an alpha and you’d be an omega and the whole claiming stuff. So it’s a little different than I’d imagined,” she chuckles a bit. “But I’m so happy that you’ve found love with Negan.” Chuck feels her cheeks going red at that, but Diane just continues. “And I wanna celebrate that with a wedding!”

Chuck laughs. “Alright. Me and Negan will start to talk about it,” she assures her.

“Yes!” Diane calls out.

“I said start to talk,” Chuck stresses. “Don’t get too excited just yet.”

Meanwhile, Negan is sitting in on a math class all day at the high school. The teacher hadn’t left any specific instructions, so Negan is just treating it as a study hall. It’s not exactly exciting, but he’s getting to know the kids a little more.

The last period of the day happens to be a class that Carl Grimes is in. As soon as Negan sees him, he lets out a laugh.

“It’s about time I get one of your classes,” he calls out as Carl takes his seat along with his friends that came in with him.

“Hey, Negan,” the teenager greets.

When Negan sees that the class is mostly empty after the bell rings, he lets out a huff. “Where the fuck is everyone else?” he asks no one in particular.

“They all skipped to get home early,” Carl answers.

“Fuckin’ assholes.” Negan can’t say he blames them, since he wasn’t going to have them do anything anyway, but he’s not exactly okay with students skipping classes. “I guess it’s just us, then,” he mutters. “If you got homework or some shit to do, work on it. It’s not like we have anything else to fuckin’ do.”

“Can we get hall passes out?” one of Carl’s friends asks.

“Where?”

The friend looks to Carl for him to take over, since he’s friendlier with Negan. “There a storage room beside the gym with old equipment. We just hang out in there sometimes,” Carl explains.

Negan lets out a huff. “I’m not gonna let you guys go there unsupervised to play grabass or what-the-fuck-ever. Who the fuck do you think I am?”

The other kids look embarrassed, but not Carl. “We mostly just play ping pong or fuck around with the tennis rackets.”

“First of all, language,” he starts. “Your balls haven’t been descended long enough for you to earn the right to say ‘fuck’. And secondly, there’s a fuckin’ ping pong table?”

“Yeah,” Carl answers. “It’s old. They never pull it out for anything.”

One of the girls pipes up. “My mom said they had a table tennis club in the nineties. I think it’s from that time.”

Negan suddenly stands, his mind made up. “Alright. We’re headed to this fuckin’ place. Lead the way.”

Carl and the five other kids take Negan to the room they were talking about. It’s tucked away behind the stage and it’s obviously the graveyard for old sports equipment and sets/props for the drama club. Near the center of the room sits a well worn ping pong table with balls and paddles sitting on top of it.

“Shit yeah!” Negan walks over to the table and picks out the least broken paddle. “Who’s first?”

The kids look around at each other, a bit confused.

“This is a fuckin’ tournament,” Negan provides. “Someone step up!”

“What do we get if we win?” one of the students asks.

“A hundred bucks if any of you fuckers can beat me,” Negan replies with all the confidence in the world.

“I’m in,” one of the boys says as he picks up another paddle.

The table is cleared and the game gets underway. Of course, Negan wipes the floor with the kid. Easily. The boy doesn’t get a single point before Negan gets to eleven. Carl tries next and has his ass handed to him as well. The two girls in the group go next, though they’re no match for Negan. As the last of the boys fail as well, Negan lets out a laugh.

“I still fuckin’ got it!” he says with a twirl of his paddle.

Carl lets out a scoff. “You failed to mention that you’re really good at this. It’s not exactly fair.”

“It’s not like I’m taking your money, kid. Besides, this was much more fun than sitting on our asses in that classroom.”

Despite the kids having lost their games, they do agree that it was better than having a study hall.

“You should start up the table tennis club again, Mr. Negan,” one of the girls comments.

He doesn’t correct the girl to just call him ‘Negan’, but instead, gives her statement a thought. “Would anyone join?” he asks to the group. “I know you kids only care about your fuckin’ snapchats or what-the-fuck-ever.”

Carl shrugs a little. “I’d join.”

His two friends nod, too. Then, the girls.

“I could use another extra curricular,” one of the girls says.

A slow smile spreads across Negan’s face. He would love the chance to coach an actual sport here. Their baseball coach, unfortunately, has no plans of quitting any time soon, so that was never an option. But this? Even if it’s not an official competitive sport at the school, it would still be fun for Negan.

“You know what?” Negan starts. “I’m gonna talk to Principal Delaney. See if I can’t get this shit started. If I get a sign up sheet posted, you guys spread it around. Tell everyone how fuckin’ fun this shit is.”

As soon as the dismissal bell rings, Negan heads off to find Jo Delaney. He finds her in the hallway heading to her office and quickly tells her his intentions.

“Ping pong?” she questions.

“Yeah. Table tennis. It’s a fuckin’ sport.”

She chuckles. “I know it is. But why ping pong?”

Negan shrugs. “Apparently, this school used to have a table tennis club. Besides, it gives me a chance to actually coach something. And it gives some of these kids an opportunity to join something. You know, for their college applications and shit.”

Jo thinks it over. “You’re probably not going to get any money for this,” she comments.

“I’ll raise some,” Negan responds.

“I don’t have a problem with it, I suppose. Just make sure you get permission slips from all the kids that are interested.” She looks at him skeptically. “ If there are any interested.”

“You doubt me, but I’m gonna make it work,” he says with a smirk, then turns to walk away. “Just you see.”

Before Negan leaves for the day, he makes sure to pin up some sign up sheets to various bulletin boards around the school, hoping that there would be some interest in his little club so he can prove Jo wrong. Just to make sure that happens, he sends off a text to Rick, asking him to have Carl talk to all his friends about signing up.

When Negan gets home, Chuck can see the smile on his face.

“Good day?” she asks as she walks over to greet him.

“I’m starting up a table tennis club,” he explains casually.

She raises her eyebrows. “Table tennis club? Is that a thing?”

“It is now.” He plops himself down on the couch and pulls his phone out. “You mind if I buy a ping pong table and set it up in the garage?” he asks as he already searches for one on amazon.

“No.” She giggles as she sits down beside him. “This club is going to meet in our garage?”

“Yeah. I figured no one else would give us any fuckin’ space. Doubt they’ll let us use the gym.” He looks up from his phone at her. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” she answers with a smile. “That’s fine.”

He goes back to his phone, finalizing his order before looking back up to Chuck’s smiling face. “What?”

She shrugs. “Nothing.”

“What?” he asks again.

“I like seeing you excited about your students. It’s cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You’re cute,” she insists.

He suddenly pulls her into his lap and buries his nose into her neck, taking a deep breath and letting out a groan. As he starts to harden underneath Chuck, he whispers in her ear, “That feel cute to you?”

She laughs. “You know what, it actually does.”

He flips them around, pinning her underneath him. “I’ll show you cute,” he growls.

She knows he’s just playing around, so she continues with the joke. “You’re so adorable!” As he kisses her neck, she giggles. “Like a little kitten.” Once his kisses turn more passionate, her giggles turn to moans automatically.

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought,” he says with a chuckle.

#the glasswing butterfly #writehavoc the Glasswing Butterfly #writehavoc writes #negan #negan x oc #alpha negan #negan fanfiction #negan x ofc #negan x original female character #negans thirst squad #negan/original female character #negan / oc #negan / ofc #negan / original female character #The Walking Dead #The Walking Dead AU #the walking dead fanfiction

[disappearinginq]

Yes, me again😳- please can you write something for “ withholding medical treatment” for Bad Things Happen?

Yes, yes I can! Hopefully, this works for your prompt!

He’d never seen Thomas look so pale.

He pressed down harder on the bleeding wound, the overshirtalready soaked through with red. Cold, pale fingers shook as they tried to pushhis away, but every ounce of strength was gone.

“Leave it,” he snapped, ignoring the tremble in thosescarred hands.

His response was so quiet, Rick almost missed it.

“I’m going to bleedout,” Magnum slurred, his head falling back against the door of the Rover. Hischest barely moved, breathing rapid and shallow as he fought to keep his eyesopen, even though every time he blinked, they stayed closed longer and longer.

Rick shook his head. Whether to tell Magnum that, no¸ you most certainly are-fucking-notor to ward off the sudden image of a disturbingly similar scenario, many yearsago on the dirt floor of a makeshift cell block beneath the earth, feeling justas useless as he did now, trapped behind a locked cage door. “No, you’re not.”

“ y’got ‘nother….bullet?”

He wished.

“We have to go to a hospital,” he snarled at the driverinstead.

The young man behind the wheel didn’t even bother to turnaround. He was hunched over the wheel as if it would make him invisible, flinchingwhen Rick raised his voice. “No. You’re a-a soldier. I know it. You talk likeone. You can make do.”

“Look, kid, carjacking is one thing. Shooting someone isanother. Negligent homicide is awhole new matter entirely.”

“Then I guess you best make sure he lives, huh?” thepassenger said, leaning around to point his gun at Magnum. “Unless you think Iought to just put him out of his misery now, huh?”

Rick gritted his teeth. “You shoot him, you better be thefastest gun since Jesse James, because then I’ll be out of reasons to let youlive.”

The man laughed. “You got balls, son. I’ll give you that.But that’s pretty ambitious for someone sitting on the wrong side of a gun,unarmed, with his hands tied together.”

“Ambitious,” Rick conceded in a flat voice. “But not wrong.”

“Lee, maybe we should– ”

Lee turned on his partner so fast Rick was surprised hedidn’t get whiplash, cuffing the kid in the back of the head hard enough thatthe Rover swerved into the opposite lane before the driver wrestled it backonto the right side. “What’d I tell you, dumbass?”

The kid flinched. “Just drive.”

“That’s right. Just drive.I don’t need you getting any smart ideas.”

“If he dies, you’ll be lucky to go down for murder one,”Rick pointed out. He tried not to think about the warmth of the soaked ragbeneath his fingers. Tried not to look at the growing stain on the high-endleather of the Rover’s back seat. Or how cold Magnum’s fingers were. Or the wayhis teeth chattered. Or tried to shift away from him every time Rick presseddown to stem the bleeding.

Lee scoffed. “And if we’re unlucky, hot shot?” The gun remained pointed at Thomas, who twistedagainst the corner of the seat and the door, did little more than glareblearily at him.

“No one will ever find your bodies.”

The kid’s fearful eyes met his in the rearview mirror, andRick knew he had his attention.

“Hawaii’s a great place for body dumping,” Rick continuedconversationally. “Volcanoes. An ocean filled with currents that’ll take youmiles out in a matter of minutes and sharks that may or may not be tempted totake a chunk out of you. Rainforests so dense and damp that the only way anyoneis gonna find you is by accident, fifty years from now when the only thing leftbehind is your teeth.” Rick paused, considering it for a moment. “And that’sassuming I leave you with yourteeth.”

“You ain’t doing squat from the back seat of a car with yourhands tied, so sit back, shut the hell up, and take care of your friend beforeI decide I don’t want to listed to him moan anymore,” Lee snapped. “As you justhelpfully pointed out, lots’a places for bodies ‘round here.”

“Or,” Rick immediately snapped back, “you could just let usout at the fucking curb, I’ll lie and tell them this is your car, you took us tothe hospital after we were attacked by someoneelse, and you can drive off at your own pace while shock and trauma robs meof any cognitive memory of what you looked like when the police come calling.”

“Lee – ” the driver tried again, but shut up when Lee raisedhis hand again.

“Why would you do something like that?” Lee askedsuspiciously.

“Because this ain’t my car, and I don’t give a rat’s assabout what happens to it, or you, if you let my friend live,” Rick said. Hedidn’t mention the part where it belonged to a feisty British majordomo whotook her job a little too seriously that would hunt them down later having madeno such promise to leave them be.

He also didn’t mention the fact that the Rover was equippedwith Lo-Jack, they were already two hours late returning the vehicle to theNest, and Higgins was going to wonder what the hell they were doing on thewrong side of the island when she got impatient and looked up their location onthat fancy laptop of hers. He just hoped they were out of the vehicle by thetime the cops showed up, because he had no doubt Higgins was the type to reportthe car stolen if she thought they were off joyriding, and there was no wayThomas was going to survive a high-speed chase.

Lee stared at him, assessing. Rick could see him mull itover in his head, weighing the benefits of not having a murder attached to him,hassle of having to hide a body if he did against the likelihood that Rick waslying about not telling the hospital staff the truth.

“It doesn’t even have to be a hospital for chrissakes,” Ricksnapped. “I’ll take a goddamn vet at this point. A CVS with a pharmacy and aphone, I don’t care, but if you don’tlet us out of the vehicle, I’m going to make your lives a goddamn nightmare for what remains of them.”

“We’ll think about it.”

And Lee turned back around, completely ignoring the two menin the backseat.

Rick forcibly bit the inside of his cheek to keep fromsaying anything, desperately trying to channel his inner Nuzo to keep his mouthshut and not antagonize the bad guys into letting Thomas die out of spite forsomething he said. The hospital was agood option. Lee just had to convince himself that it was his idea, and notsomething he’d been bullied into by a hostage.

Rick just didn’t know if he had that kind of time.

The hole in Magnum’s leg missed the artery, or he would’vebeen dead already, but that didn’t mean he was in the clear. Close range, theexit wound was large and messy, and besides a shirt, Rick had literally nothingfor first aid. If they’d been driving the Ferrari, or even his Porsche, therewouldn’t have even been space for them to be hostages, but that’s what they gotfor doing Higgins a favor and taking the Rover in for service while they werealready in town and she was entertaining another cultural tour of the Nest. Italso meant no first aid kits.

He pressed down harder on the still bleeding wound, thoughthe shirt was already saturated through. Magnum hardly moved under the newonslaught of pain, and Rick tried not to think about the sound he made thatwasn’t quite human. He was conscious, but just barely, his teeth chatteringagainst the cold of shock, but he could do little more than let Rick try whateverhe could to stem the flow of blood.

The car rounded a corner and came to a screeching halt inthe middle of the road, skidding on the tarmac before coming to a stop.

It took all of Rick’s effort to keep Thomas from flying offthe seat, and he cried out as Rick’s full weight came down on his leg, even hashe braced his shoulder against the seatback in front of him.

“Shit, sorry Thomas,” he apologized quickly, risking aglance out the windshield. He half expected traffic, or road work, but healmost laughed out loud when he saw the flashing red and blue lights.

Higgins was more paranoid than he gave her credit for. Ormaybe Katsumoto was a better detective than he thought.

Either way, he owed them both drinks, because he’d neverbeen happier to see half of HPD creating a road block with weapons drawn andpointed at him.

Two more cruisers pulled in behind them, blocking them frombacking up and making an escape in reverse.

This was more than just Higgins being annoyed and vindictiveabout the car going rogue. Someone had to have reported the carjacking, orgunshots, or something, because this was a coordinated response – no matter howlittle Katsumoto liked Magnum, there was no way he would rope half thedepartment into teaching him a lesson about joyriding without the majordomo’s permission.

“This is HPD – step out of the car with your hands in theair where we can see them, nice and slow,” Katsumoto called over the radioloudspeaker. “We have you surrounded. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Rick snickered, though it was probably more nervous reliefthan actual humor. “Ha, ha,” he managed, reminiscent of Nelson Muntz. “I takeback all previous offers. You’re screwed.”

“Am I?” Lee snarled.

Rick didn’t have time to contemplate what the gunman couldpossibly mean before the man threw open his door, using it as a shield betweenhimself and the police, swinging around to rip open the door Thomas was leaningagainst, grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him out of the vehiclebefore Rick could protest or even think to stop him.

The soaked makeshift bandage came loose in his hand asThomas was ripped out from underneath it, hauled up in front of Lee as a humanshield.

Thomas didn’t even scream, and maybe that was worse. Hecouldn’t stand on his own, the only reason he was upright was Lee’s arm aroundhis neck and shoulder, the little color he had absolutely gone, his face ashenand pale. Rick was honestly shocked the abrupt change in position didn’t makecause him to pass out, but dammit all if Magnum was a fighter. Dark eyes keptthreatening to roll to the back of his head as he fought to stay conscious, onetrembling hand on Lee’s arm holding him up, and the other hovering shakily overthe gunshot wound to his leg as he tried to keep his weight off of it.

“I already shot him once,” Lee shouted at Katsumoto. “I’mokay with doing it again. Are you?”

Katsumoto’s face didn’t so much as flicker. That manshould’ve been a professional poker player. “If your goal is to get out of thisalive, I wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah?” Lee snarled, digging the muzzle of the pistol intoMagnum’s jaw with bruising force. “Well, maybe I got different plans.”

“Your intent suicide by cop?” Katsumoto retorted. “We can dothat. But first, release the hostage.”

“This guy?” asked Lee, his tone suddenly pitching towardsmania. “This guy, right here?” He gave Magnum a slight shake. “Nah. I don’tthink so. I kinda like the sounds he makes.” And with that, he took the gunfrom Magnum’s jaw to shove against the wound in his leg.

The ragged scream barely made it past Magnum’s lips beforeRick slammed into Lee, catching the gunman in the side with his shoulder hardenough he heard the crack of ribs. He collided with such force he actually knockedThomas forwards and away from them, his friend half catching himself with one hand– just enough to not smash his teeth out on the concrete – before collapsing tothe ground.

Rick didn’t see any of it. Didn’t hear the police shouting,didn’t hear Katsumoto order the other officers not to shoot, didn’t hear the goahead for the EMT’s.

His vision tunneled. He grabbed Lee by the hair, twisting itas hard as he could, his nails digging into the man’s skull as he yanked hishead up by the hair only to smash it down against the road with an audiblecrack.

“Shoot my friend, will you?” Rick snarled through gritted teeth, gripping thegunman’s head in his bloodied fingers. “Refuseto take him to a hospital, huh?”He slammed Lee’s head down again. “Maybe I’ll like the sounds you make.”

He wrenched the man’s head up again, with every intention ofsmashing it against the road until it split – and maybe not stopping even then –except…

“Rick.”

He froze, fingers still gouging into Lee’s scalp, halfway toslamming it down again.

“Rick.”

He turned to Thomas, who was currently being fitted to aback board as one of the EMT’s pressed sterile dressing against the entry wound,despite him trying to flinch away from contact.

Thomas was barely conscious. If Rick hadn’t seen the hellthat man could go through, he would’ve been surprised. He could tell that the medicswere – though impressed was probably the wrong word for it. Thomas’s handsautomatically went to the oxygen mask, pulling stubbornly at it the second theyreplaced it, rolling his upper body as soon as they let go of him as they kepttrying to hold his hands down while they strapped him in.

Rick dropped Lee without a second thought, reaching forMagnum’s clumsily flailing hand as it reached for the mask again.

“Leave it,” he ordered, gently placing Thomas’s hand back athis side.

Magnum’s fingers gripped Rick’s sleeve, twisting in the fabric.The mask fogged slightly as he tried to speak, but whatever it was, was lost inthe chaos.

He tried not think how unnervingly familiar all of this was.

At least they weren’t being loaded into a helicopter.

Rick suddenly found himself gripping Thomas’s hand, thesudden sensation of dread that this would be the last time he’d see Thomas aliveso forceful he felt himself stumble.

Maybe that was just because the EMT’s finally lifted himfrom the ground. At least, that’s what he told himself.

A hand on his shoulder had him flinching, jerking violentlyat the slight touch.

Katsumoto held his hands back, palms out in ‘surrender’pose, and it was only then that Rick realized he’d been trying to talk to himfor the past several moments.

“Should I call your friend?” Katsumoto asked. Judging fromthe slight sigh at the end of the question, Rick guessed he must have asked itmore than once.

“Yeah. Sure. Probably.”

The detective raised an eyebrow, then glanced back at the unconsciousgunman. “Normally, the precinct would be your next stop, but –”

“I think I’m in shock. I need medical attention,” Rickrecited hollowly. That was what his uncle taught him to tell the police – or anyoneelse, for that matter – if things ever went sideways. Something close to itanyway.

Katsumoto’s lips twitched in what might’ve been a knowingsmirk, but who could tell? “I’ll take care of it.”

Rick wasn’t even sure what ‘it’ was, but he didn’t care.

Huh. Maybe it wasshock.

Or maybe just relief.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. He let the EMT’s loadThomas into the back of the waiting ambulance, his hand still gripping tightlyagainst cold fingers.

Cold fingers that held onto his just as tightly.

[midwesternorcprincess]

now that i’m back and... halfway recovered, let me tell you the woes that befell me once i got home from school. it’s a long tale and a bad one.

DAY ONE

day after i got home, we drove up to Chicago to take my sister to the airport. she’s been going the last two summers to England to see her boyfriend, right. drive over there was hell. family relations were... strained. but we got her on the flight finally and i was looking forward to having a break. mom and dad i drove through La Grange, where we used to live, to get food. ran into our old neighbors and talked a couple hours, had a great time. i said to myself, that was a good thing to have happened. it’s good for my parents to remember who they were, once.

leaving Chicago, out on the highway. the car starts making this horrible knocking sound right the fuck out of nowhere and makes signs that it’s not going to drive any farther. dad pulls over. opens the hood. can’t tell what’s wrong, but there’s no way it’s starting up again. we’re stuck there, in the black of night, in a crappy area.

we call every towing company we can find. none - NONE - will look at us on a Saturday night. call again on Monday, they tell us. we call the old neighbors. they don’t pick up. as a last resort we call the police. they tell us they’ll help. two hours pass, nothing. thousands and thousands of cars race by, police, tow trucks. our hazards are on and the hood is up. no one stops. here in Indiana, someone would have stopped long ago.

we call a hotel. they give us another towing number, but they say their driver is busy so they’ll have to get back to us.

a state policeman finally comes. gives us yet another number who will tow us. gonna be 200-something. we don’t have that much money. first towing number calls back. they’ll come for us, but only have room for one of us. policeman says he can take two of us to the hotel, so mom and i go and leave dad with the car.

mom and i get to the hotel. course, we don’t have enough money to stay there. my aunt gives us her credit card number and info and calls and everything, but they won’t take that cause she’s not there personally. they do take that online, though. we book through Expedia and they charge us up a lot, but at least we have a room for the night.

few hours later dad gets there. the battery had finally died and the hazard lights shut off. how the tow truck found him without crashing into him i don’t know. now what? that’s a problem for tomorrow.

DAY TWO

six in the morning, i get a message from my sister. she’s been denied entry to the UK and is being sent back to Chicago. gotta pick her up tonight. what the FUCK

call around about the car. no one would lift a finger on Saturday, sure as hell not gonna do it on Sunday. there’s a Hyundai dealer (we have a Sonata) nearby. they tell us they’ll look at it Tuesday.

mom and dad call the neighbors again. they offer to drive dad to the airport so he can get my sister. it was lucky that we’d run into them.

my sister returns that night and we hear her tale of woe. she had flown into Dublin. you can go through customs there and then straight on to London, because Ireland and the UK are bros or whatever. she had done this before and found the officials in Ireland much nicer to deal with than the ones in the UK, as she told her boyfriend’s mom in a message. but this time - oh, this makes me madder than fire - this asshole official accused her of trying to come to the UK to work illegally. which she absolutely had no inkling of doing. he took her phone and looked through her messages and everything and found the one to her boyfriend’s mom and said, HA! see, here you are trying to sneak in. well, that was just not what she was doing at all. she likes nicer officials because she’s human and humans like nice people.

of course she’s getting very anxious trying to explain all this - she’s only 18 after all, and this came right the fuck out of nowhere - and this official. he SAID TO HER: “you’re nervous because you’re lying and you’re guilty.” then he said, “I’ll give you one last chance to tell the truth, if you want entry to the UK.” well, my sister had been telling the truth the whole time. what did he want her to do? lie? well, she wasn’t going to do it. she told the truth again, which is more than this official had been doing - lying and twisting everything around, trying to get a guilty plea out of this kid for something she wasn’t even doing. anyway like i said, she told the truth again, and was finally denied. i would have thought she could talk to an embassy or something, but he told her the decision was final and she couldn’t talk to anyone - maybe that was a lie too, but who knows. she certainly was in no position to try. can can never go back to Ireland now, unless she gets a visa approved from the UK..

they put her in some tiny room to wait, and she started crying then, now that she was alone. asshole official comes back and tells her to stop crying. if there was a hell, this man would be burning in it.

so they sent her right back to Chicago. she was lucky, though, compared to some other young girls she met there who were also turned away. one girl was from Toronto, and there were no flights back that day. they threw her in jail until the next flight.

they told her they were sending her luggage back separately. probably they had to search through it and find something they could use against her. of course they found nothing, because there was nothing, because everything she had done was legal and right. but anyway they gave a piece of paper with a tracking number and a phone number to call about it.

where is mom’s insulin?

DAY THREE

we’re getting really fed up with all this. it’s really too much. and you may be wondering what’s become of our dog and cat and newborn kittens at home. mom and dad grill Hyundai and they agree to look at the car a day early.

no one back home has a key to the house, so we have my aunt break in to feed the pets. while she’s there, the cat gets out and disappears.

Hyundai calls back. turns out our car had a recall because people’s engines were failing. actually there were several recalls on it, but ours was the engine. hell of a time to fail on us. so they’re ordering a new engine. ten to fourteen days, they tell us.

ten to fourteen days! now you listen here -

- the cat came back -

- we can’t stay here ten to fourteen days. we’re five hours from home. have animals. we have an insulin-dependent diabetic. we have no money. we have no change of clothes. we have no relatives with a car capable of making a trip to Chicago. what are we supposed to do for ten to fourteen days? our family can’t even support us that long. not my problem, says Hyundai.

mom calls like, Hyundai central, not this particular dealership, customer service or whatever. they tell us we’re entitled to a loaner car from Hyundai, since this whole situation was their fault and all. armed with this information, mom calls the dealer back. but they won’t give us a car because we’re from out of state.

we call around every rental car place we can find, but no luck there either, because of the credit card issue.

still got that luggage to worry about. we call the number on the paper and describe the bags to them, and they call back a little later and say they’ve found it and will keep it in a safe place. we don’t have a way to get to the airport, though.

mom’s insulin is nowhere to be found - i swear to god, she can’t go one day without losing something important, it’s probably out on the side of the highway somehow - and even if it was, she’d be out by now. this was supposed to be a day trip. we don’t have the cash to buy any. no one will take our credit card. she has to call the ambulance and go to the hospital. turns out her blood sugar is over 800 - death level and i think a record for her - so she’s in the ICU for a while.

guess what? the hotel’s booked for the night. so’s the one next door. so is everyone in walking distance. where can we go now?

we find another hotel that will take my aunt’s credit card once she fills out a form and faxes it to them, and use our rapidly dwindling cash to call a cab there. the guy drives us to the wrong place and then accuses my dad of giving him the wrong address. he didn’t, but no one has the will to fight a cab driver. so we get to the hotel after being cheated and charged extra.

we call the airport to see if they can send us my sister’s luggage. they tell us the luggage is lost.

my aunt wires us some cash. we go up to our room and turn on the TV. on the news, a car has just crashed into the Western Union. i’m officially losin my goddamn mind

meanwhile, the only way we can get food is to order through online sites like Grubhub. cause of the credit card issue. so we’re not starving, at least.

guess what! new month, phone’s shutting off. this would have been a death sentence if my aunt hadn’t paid that for us too.

DAY FOUR

Hyundai calls. they expedited our request to not die out here, i guess, so they tell us the engine will be in tomorrow now.

cause i’m so paranoid for disaster - gotta be, with my life - i actually do bring my medicine everywhere. but even i gotta run out sometime, and that’s today. my dad says we already got three crazy people without their meds, we can’t lose the last sane one. he calls around and finds the nearest pharmacy is in the Target a mile away. he walks there and talks them into taking my prescription. since i have the Indiana healthcare plan and we’re in Illinois, they make us pay for it, though. he only has cash enough for two pills. it’s just an antidepressant, but i get BAD withdrawal if i miss more than a day. shaking and hallucinating, that kind of thing. but i get to keep my mind now for a few more days.

my sister starts her period. i would be so fucking pissed. really, uterus???

we call about the luggage again. they tell us it’s still lost. we suspect they’re just looking at the tracing number on the computer - which we can easily check ourselves - and not bothering to get up and look. we try to tell them this and about how they called us back the other day and told us they found it, but we keep getting people that barely speak English and either don’t understand us or are pretending and just don’t want to deal with it.

we try to talk to mom, but she barely answers her phone, and when she does there’s always some nurse or doctor or someone in there bothering her - i swear to god, i think they kill people by not giving them a moment’s peace - and if she does call back she’s kinda loopy. blood sugar will do that to you, but it’s very disheartening.

DAY FIVE

my aunt tells us she’s wired the cash to the nearest Western Union, which luckily is in the Walgreens a mile away and not the one the car drove into. dad walks all the way there - i would do this if i could, he’s really too old and not in great shape to be walking this far, but all this shit is under his name - and guess what they tell him? they need some obscure number no one bothered to tell us about. he calls my aunt, but she’s at an appointment an hour from home and doesn’t have the number. she calls her bank, but they won’t give it to her. so dad has to walk all the way back empty-handed and try again later.

the airport continues to be completely useless about finding the luggage.

my sister slips in the bathroom and hurts her ankle.

my aunt gets back home, sends my dad the number, he walks back to Walgreens and returns with the cash. i guess it could have been worse. this could have happened in July and not May. if it happens again when I go to Norway, it’ll be in July.

it’s dinner time and whoops, the card suddenly doesn’t work. we call my aunt. she calls the bank, the bank says the card is fine and good to go. it still doesn’t work.

closest food is Denny’s. we’re lucky to have enough cash now. it’s a pleasant enough walk at night in May except it’s over this really rough scrubland. dad and i manage well enough but my sister has a rough time of it with her ankle. and also her open-toed-shoes. you know, that she’d worn on the plane. you know, cause she wasn’t expecting to be falsely accused of a crime, sent back, and had her luggage lost. anyway she gets a thorn in her foot.

the car isn’t fixed, but i hadn’t expected it to be. i know better than to hope.

dad gets really sick at about 2 am. he hasn’t had his medicines for days and it’s really fuckin him up. also he’s kinda havin a nervous breakdown. we know it’s a panic attack, but there’s no telling that to the body. we’re on the verge of another ambulance bill.

i call my aunt. she’s at a loss. she calls my cousin. cousin thinks fast and adds us on a family Uber account. saves our asses. none of us has ever taken an Uber before, but dad takes an Uber to the hospital and later confirms that it is a much better experience than taking a cab

so now i’m on my own. well, with my sister, but the task of adulthood falls to me. and we’re here with not much cash, a credit card that doesn’t work, and no idea where we’re going to go now.

DAY SIX

dad calls in the morning. he’s fine and back with my mom, but she’s been yelling at him all day. never heard her be so mean before.

airport tells us the same bullshit about the luggage being lost. there’s really irreplaceable shit in there. her best clothes. all her makeup. teddy bear that she got when she and her boyfriend first met. stuff from her birth father, who’s dead now. but anyway they can’t be bothered to check on it.

Hyundai says our car will be ready in the afternoon. hotel will be kicking us out soon. we pack all our shit - which is actually not too much since we came with pretty much the shirts on our backs - and take an Uber to the hospital. can also confirm that Uber is totally fine. don’t fear to use it if you have need.

things are tense, but at least dad’s cousin calls. he lives like an hour away and has heard of our plight and offers what help he can. he comes and takes my dad and my sister to the airport to deal with the luggage issue in person. it is, in fact, not lost, but in the safe place. like they told us the first day. so they got that.

mom is released from the hospital. Hyundai calls and says the car is done. dad’s cousin comes and gets us, we all cram into his tiny ass car, and he takes us to the dealership. he’s a Mensch.

they give us the damn car, all the recalled parts replaced, and we finally get the fuck out of there.

I’m really... not quite ok after this experience. it was financially ruinous. Hyundai will pay us back a hundred bucks a day, which is maybe half the cost if we’re being generous. it cost our relationships - i get along with everyone, but the three of them are still not ok with each other and i don’t know if they will be. it cost my parents’ health. i don’t think i realized before just... how much they’re not able to do what they once were able to.

i’m just feeling a total lack of hope. it seems like i can’t come home without some disaster or other happening, but this string of just everything possible going wrong - i don’t know how i’ll survive another one. i’m trying to relax now that i’m home, but i’m dreading every day that comes for me because i feel like it’s inevitable. i feel secondhand trauma from just hearing about how my sister was treated in Ireland. i’m terrified now about going to Norway and can barely stomach the thought just now.

our family saved our asses, but it’s not like they’re gonna be around forever. if you’re in that situation and don’t have some relative with enough money to bail you out, you are completely and utterly alone. there is no help for you. i don’t know where we would have gone, if we would just have died there on the road since we couldn’t afford to be towed. or on the street somewhere if we couldn’t afford the hotel.

you know how they say it’s so expensive to be poor? truer words were never spoke. had we been able to afford our own credit card, we could have rented a car, driven ourselves home, and saved five days and a thousand dollars, plus whatever medical bills we’ll have now.

i’m trying to pick myself up and i hope i’ll still be able to go to Norway, but i’m just so afraid of seeing tomorrow. i wish there was a lesson here besides don’t be poor and don’t drive a car and don’t go out of state and don’t try to go to another country and don’t be sick, but... i don’t know.

i guess i can tell you that the people on the phone at O’Hare are completely fucking useless and you’ll have to deal with them inside if you want anything done. maybe that will save you some pains in the future. don’t hope, though. probably can’t afford it.

[ecotone99]

[RF] - HOT LOUD BLACK NIGHT

HOT LOUD BLACK NIGHT

It was around 2:30 AM when a black limo pulled up to the curb and deposited Jerry Mallard in front of his eponymous nightclub. The first thing that he thought as he flew (rather unceremoniously) out of the moving vehicle must have been something along the lines of “no, no please no. Oh god, etc.” Of course, one can never really know with these things. As a sort of general fact: being tossed face first onto a hard concrete slab is not very pleasant.

In Jerry’s context however, it must have been one hell of a cherry on top of one hell of a terrible night. The impact did not knock him out, as he must have expected/prayed for. Instead he landed on the ground with a fumbling thud, a small crack of his forehead hitting the pavement, and a little man-whimper that might have garnered some sympathy if someone was around to hear it. As the limo sped down out of the parking lot, down the street and up on to the highway, Jerry flipped himself over on to his back and faced a clear and starless sky. One can imagine that he tried to pray.

As you might have guessed, 2:30 AM was also last call. And as Jerry lay there, people began filing out of the club. It was the Sunday crowd: Jittery, spark-lit grunge scum, all bumming off each other and waiting for someone (anyone) to come up with what to do next. They were crowded in little flannel circles, angling their smoke and spit towards Jerry’s aluminum-fronted nightclub. They visibly laughed and spread their arms wide. Their conversations, however, would have been hard to hear over the cicadas that had just hatched and begun to breed.

Still on his back, Jerry would have watched this entire scene upside down. These kids would be anchored to the sky. His club, with its unbelievable frontface reflecting dirty neon signage off of every lateral surface, must have appeared like an alien spaceship descending (at last) to summon Jerry towards some higher and not-so-human destiny. Perhaps he would be the Hero of some story, one that might have been entertaining, but that would, of course, not have been true. It certainly would not be this story. This story has no heroes. That’s probably what makes it true.

By the time Jerry pulled himself off of the concrete and dusted off his bloodied suit jacket, these folks had mostly hobbled to their cars and swerved off towards the highway. Jerry experienced, for the first time that night, a moment of true quiet. He stood there for a moment, leaning more on his left leg than on his right, and closed his eyes. He probably did not feel any sense of relief. He was certainly in no position to feel it. But he might have felt something like peace. As per the theme of the night, however, this proved to be short-lasting. He opened his eyes to a small, round man in a white sweat-through button down, wagging one of his many ringed fingers at Jerry. Jerry spoke first.

“Hi Lloyd.”

“Hey, hi, howdy. We having a good night?” Lloyd slapped his huge hands together.

“Listen Lloyd-”

“Jesus Christ, why not just up and fuck off for a night, right? Right? It’s not like I need your, uh, I don’t know, your help around here or anything. You know how many kids I had to pull out of the stall-”

“You gotta stop letting ‘em do that stuff in there Lloyd.”

“Christ what am I telling you? What am I telling you Jerry? That’s what I’m trying to do, but they like our bathrooms Jerry. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you these past couple-a weeks. They’re not coming for the fucking music Jerry. You haven’t been listening to me. They’re going out of their minds in there. They’re going out of their goddamn minds in there. You shoulda seen this one kid. He was all blue, coldest guy I ever touched since the Gulf, you know? Friends carried him out of the place, said they were gonna take him to the hospital but god really knows with these things. And…what the hell happened to you?”

Jerry walked past him and up the path to the building. Lloyd stared at him for a few shocked seconds and rushed up to follow.

“Was it-” Lloyd whispered in his ear.

Jerry opened the door and walked into the bar, while Lloyd stood at the entrance, his hands over his mouth in an absolute, totalizing kind of terror. The rumors were true. A carnival wheel of expressions passed over Lloyd’s face then, coming to stop somewhere between anger and panic. His skin turned red and he somehow began to sweat even more than he had been (and he was a notorious sprinkler.) He brought a hand to his bulging forehead with a groan. He probably had a headache, what for the heat and the insectoid racket. Like almost all of the pain he had ever experienced, he would treat it with drink. In this regard, it must have been nice to manage a bar. He followed Jerry inside.

Jerry’s custodial staff essentially consisted of a mother and a daughter, aged 51 and 29 respectively, neither of whom really liked Jerry and who thought he was a drunk schlockmeister who benefited from the failings of others. They were, of course, not wrong. When Jerry entered the “ballroom”, the mother had just finished calling Shelly (the bartender/assistant manager) every Polish synonym for “asshole” that there is. It should not come as a surprise that the mother, upon opening the bathroom stall to three bloody syringes on the TP dispenser, a pool of vomit sprinkled with dutch guts, and an unconscious scumkid embracing (Madonna-like) the toilet he had broken his bloody nose on, that she would begin to reevaluate the future of her employment at Mallard’s. Her daughter stood at her side, meekly looking down at her shoes, lifting them on and off the sticky beer-soaked floor. When Jerry clattered through the front door, kicking a few light wooden chairs out of his way, the mother finally let off of Shelly and turned her attention to her employer, who embraced the woman in a warm hug.

This was met (for what must have been the seventh or eighth time that night) with a swift and impassioned strike to Jerry’s groin. He fell to his knees with a groan as the mother grabbed her daughter’s hand and marched her out of the club. Shelly hopped over the bar to help him up.

“Looking good. Jer.” she said.

He emitted another pathetic groan, while she helped him over to a stool and leaned him up against the bar. After locking the front door behind him, and casting a manic paranoid look out the front window, Lloyd crossed over to them, waving his hands in the air.

“These goddamn bugs…Shelly-” He began.

She waved a towel at him.

“Absolutely not. You’re falling over for goddsakes.”

Lloyd put one hand on Jerry’s back, covering up a bloodstain.

“Shelly might I remind you that I’m your, uh, your boss.”

“Lloyd might I remind you of what I believe to be your lack of fucking foresight on the matter, seeing as I’m gonna have to be the one who picks you up off the fucking floor and drives you home once you’re done. You miserable bastard.”

“Jeez Shelly tell him how you really feel.” Jerry said before laughing extremely.

He doubled over in laughter, sweat dripping off his scalp and wetting the dry blood on his forehead. By the looks of it, he was still bleeding. Shelly and Lloyd watched their boss’s spasms, his neck snapping back and forth, laughter spewing like a missed vein. Jerry did not laugh often, and given the circumstances this was probably rather shocking to Shelly and Lloyd. Jerry let his head fall on to the table with a clunk, before lifting it up and aiming it towards no one in particular.

“They’re gonna kill me. Oh God. They’re going to kill me.” His head fell on to the bar again and stayed there. Over the dim sound of exit music, one would have heard him sob. Between these sobs he would manage to mutter some variation on what he had already said, sometimes a prayer to a God who clearly did not care very much, and he went on like this for several minutes while Shelly poured Lloyd a drink.

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, I know.”

​

After waking up an hour later, and calling his distant mother several times before giving up, Jerry arrived at the conclusion that if he was ever going to get enough money to pay these people off, he was not going to get it through honest means. When most people reach this conclusion, they usually reach towards what they have already done, in order to internally justify what it is that they plan to go ahead and do. Jerry had no criminal record, certainly nothing to indicate he was capable of what he ended up doing. It is entirely possible that Jerry had no experience in the matter, which is quite remarkable. Then again, crazier things have happened and it helps to not be too impressed when men do horrible things to each other.

He waited for Lloyd to conk out, and once Shelly was busy carrying the large man off of the cup-littered dance floor, Jerry snuck to his office behind the bar. Cheap metal walls all rusted through, a leaky ceiling (if it ever rained), crummy radio on a leaning filing cabinet side-plastered with smutty stickers advertising scumbands long broken up, every wall covered in women, crumpled pharmacy receipts spilling out of a kicked-over rusted mesh trash can, this office was Jerry’s little happy place, which really says a lot more about Jerry than any police report can. It must have been hot. He had a small electric fan on his desk, but it had broken several days before. One can imagine him sweating as he tried to recall the combination for the floor safe.

He must have felt the weight of Lloyd’s gun as he brought it up to his eyes, to look at it and confirm (yes) that he was really holding this. He might then have taken a few moments to aim it at one of his many lewd indecorous posters, maybe imagining himself (again) as some sort of Hero. It is usually around this time that criminals begin to preemptively justify their crimes, usually blaming others for getting what’s coming to them, or raising their categorical lack of foresight to something akin to, say, Fate or Destiny. It is all very sad and pathetic, but this is not an editorial. These are the facts, the best that they can be presented. Of course, there will be gaps.

It was around 4:15, 4:30 that Jerry snuck out the backdoor and into the hot loud black night. As some people know, this is actually the opportune time to commit a robbery. There are usually very few people around, the dark makes it easy to make a break for it and stand a chance of getting away. There is also something to be said about that atmosphere. Coming out of the dark, his face all fucked, pointing a loaded Ruger straight at your chest, Jerry would have been quite a terrifying sight. He was betting on it. Of course, the biggest problem of committing robberies at this time is, of course, finding anyone to actually rob. Most businesses are closed and most people are home, and half the people shambling around at that hour are so spun off the planet they wouldn’t understand the protocol. So this kind of difficulty probably accounts for the gap in time between 4:30 and 5 AM, when Jerry finally found his target. In that time, he couldn’t find any people, just insects.

The Rusty Donut is just off the highway, and one of the few places in that part of town to stay open 24 hours, mostly because it was a known scumspot. There were a lot of kids there usually. Donuts are across-the-board pretty popular among the drunken. However there was always a lull around 4, and it was a Sunday, so it should not be unbelievable that the place was empty. Jerry watched the only one there, a young skinny kid in a white uniform and paper cap, through a windowpane advertising BOGO free donuts. This boy, who was sixteen, usually spent his downtime polishing the glass front of the confectionary display. So his back was turned when Jerry came in, pointed a gun to his head and demanded “everything in the register and everything in the safe, please.”

The boy, who had heard about this kind of scenario but had yet to experience it, immediately began to cry in these infantile little sobs. He started to turn around, but Jerry pushed the cold barrel of the gun against his warm neck.

“Don’t fucking look at me.” He said. Listening to the tapes of the incident, one could roughly approximate Jerry’s adopted voice as something like Mickey Mouse with a dash of terminal emphysemam09. It was (in the opinion of this author) kind of silly, and certainly incongruous with the situation, and assumingly very odd and disturbing for Jerry’s victim, who must have imagined something quite grotesque while he kept his eyes down and counted the money he drew out of the register. He placed a wad of bills on the counter. Jerry did not take the money. He kept the gun aimed directly at the child’s head, and asked him (again we must imagine the voice) to “open the goddamn motherfucking safe or else your head’ll be all like a fucking…jelly donut man.” This was, assumingly, the best threat he could come up with. The boy complied.

Unbeknownst to Jerry, as the boy bent down beneath the counter to unlock the floor safe, he managed to surreptitiously draw his cell phone out of his back pocket, and toss it on the floor in a spot between himself and the counter that was out of Jerry’s line of sight. So while Jerry had an obscured view of the boy’s back, and could roughly confirm that he was following directions, he had no idea that the boy had managed to call the police, mute his phone and keep the responder on the line. The fact that it had never occurred to Jerry to confiscate the boy’s phone, can be chalked up to a simple generation gap. It was sort of out of his realm. This would, of course, prove to be his undoing.

​

At exactly 5:06, Officers Chuck McDale and Nancy Mallahoo, both decorated ten year veterans of the local police department (and the best of friends) received the call about an armed subject at the Rusty Donut. This was not, as Officer Mallahoo stressed later in her deposition, “their first rodeo.” Still they were nervous. And as they left their radar gun post on the highway, they drove towards the exit in silence, both of them considering the worst case scenario. Both officers were parents with young children. Both had a lot to lose. Both would much rather not be in this situation.

Officer McDale, who was driving, cut the lights as they entered the parking lot, banking on the element of surprise to work in their favor. It did. Jerry did not notice them pull up. Through the glass front, the officers had an unobstructed view of the scene. The boy had his hands up and his head down. With his back to the officers, Jerry held the gun, but his hands were shaking. Before leaving the car, McDale agreed to enter through the back door, if it were unlocked, and to buzz Mallahoo’s walkie once he was in position. Mallahoo would then enter the restaurant through the front, aim her service weapon, and demand that Jerry put down his gun. Whether Jerry complied, or turned around to aim at Mallahoo, McDale would jump out from behind the counter, putting himself between Jerry and the boy, and aim his service weapon. The plan depended on timing. If McDale hopped out too soon he would be in Jerry’s direct line of fire. If Mallahoo rushed the plan before McDale got in position, she could easily have taken a bullet. McDale said a brief prayer, before the officers exited the car and slowly moved to their positions, their steps muffled by the unbelievable swarm around them.

Mallahoo ducked beneath the front door, keeping her eyes on Jerry in case he turned around. Meanwhile, McDale proceeded to the back where he did in fact find the door unlocked. He drew his pistol and entered the restaurant, quietly closing the door behind him.

McDale found himself in a dark storage room, and could make out the light of the donut shop behind a metal door. As he pushed himself beside it, he was able to overhear what Randy said to the boy, which was as follows,

“Don’t fucking look at me. Don’t you fucking look at me. Jesus. Christ. God. God. God. Fuck. Don’t…hey I bet you think you’re all special, fucking scumkid. How’s your friend, huh? You get him to the hospital alright? Don’t act like you don’t know him, I know how all you scumfucks talk to each other. You should get a real job you know that. Lazy scumfuck. I worked hard for what I’ve got. You know that? You know what hard work is you lazy fucking scumfuck. You know what the word even means, man. Jesus. Jesus, God. God. I worked hard for what I’ve got. Okay? I’m not gonna let anyone take away what I worked so hard…how the hell old are you anyway?”

The boy did not say anything. In the silence, McDale gripped his pistol, and took a deep breath, before pressing the PTT on his walkie. He heard the bell above the front door tinkle as Mallahoo entered the restaurant.

“Drop your weapon.” She ordered.

McDale reached for the door and pulled, but it did not budge. He had, in his faulty human way, forgotten to check if the door was locked. He suddenly became acutely aware of his own heartbeat. He tried pulling on it a few times, as if the facts would suddenly change. They did not. He considered shooting through the lock, but stopped himself. There were three people on the other side. He took a step back and made a break for the back door.

Mallahoo, on the other hand, kept her gun trained on the back of Jerry’s head. Jerry kept his gun trained upon its original target, who had begun to cry again. Mallahoo repeated her directive, but Jerry did not budge. He instead looked down at the pile of money lying on the counter between himself and the boy. Yet again, he might have felt that sudden inrush of peace. Here was what he needed, and he had gone out and gotten it himself. He was a man. It did not matter if his prayers were answered or not, because he was the master of his world.

He looked up, and to his shock, the boy was looking right at him. The boy had blue eyes. For a moment, the only sound was the hum of electric light and the singing of the natural world outside, which was just beginning to brighten.

submitted by /u/Mcturkey [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3f0i87g

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[jwut]

why am I like this why am I like this 

why do I constantly give and give and give to people who just take and take and take and just call me horrible things and say horrible things to and about me and then go even further and lie to try to make me look worse?? I don’t understand. I woke up yesterday to the sound of my sister and her best friend yelling and arguing and then I heard my sister running and then a loud crash and then she started screaming and I immediately jumped up went to the stairs, saw her screaming in pain on the stairs and immediately jumped into action got pillows for her, her foot/ankle, got ice packs, got blankets bc she started getting cold, got water, loaded a bowl even offered one of my personal emergency cigarettes and also even offered her my emergency oxy which i changed my mind and kept bc i gave her 2 of my xans and she took a bunch of her own and other stuff I don’t even know and then was asking me to ask my dad if she could have one of his lortabs like really anyway and this was my one day off by the way, and I had already agreed to take her to her tax appointment and this happened so of course i have to help her do everything get up the stairs go to the bathroom change and the whole time im helping her scrambling to make preparations to get her into my car and stuff and shes taking selfies and posting on snapchat the whole time like dude we’re already late for your tax appointment this is the last day and then after I have to take you to the hospital anyway so like wtf  anyway finally after she calls and reschedules her tax appointment for an hour later and we finally go, everyone is so nice and caring and helpful and shes just rude to everyone and always has an attitude and is just so short and rude and loud to them and ugh anyway after that’s finally  done after an hour and I have no gas in my truck okay and I’ve literally already been catering to her every need and shes like “can you google places that take walk ins that don’t have insurance like where am I supposed to go” my sister just turned 28. She’s five years older than me. And she’s asking me where is she supposed to go that is cheap and will take her without insurance. While I’m already driving her and she’s in the passenger seat. like. so I tell her I have no idea she has to figure it out herself dude I’ve never even broken a bone okay anyway we go to UMC or whatever and like that whole thing itself is another story of me having to be her fucking mother and do everything for her and then she’s telling me she wants me to drive 30 minutes to Northtown okay, not the best area, go to her random friend’s house, some guy I’ve never even heard her mention before, to get painkillers and crutches for her. Unbelievable. Anyway after a million years of waiting she’s seen by the doctor and everything and we’re leaving and I still have no gas okay and they gave her a prescription so we had to go fill it and she only goes to the walmart pharmacy or whatever okay cool I ask, “when do they close?” so that I can see if I have time to get gas or if I just have to go straight to the pharmacy and she doesn’t say anything so I look it up, they close at 9 okay I start driving to walmart and she freaks out bc she was trying to call the other pharmacy to see if they could transfer something I don’t even know okay and idk literally she just always has a bad attitude and whenever she has to do anything herself or something doesn’t go how she wants, she just gets upset and awful and just horrible to even be around like i’ve been helping her all goddamn day it’s 8:30 at night dude I haven’t eaten all day, didn’t get to do my laundry or chores that I wanted to do on my day off and she always has to make a big scene so that other people think I’m so horrible to her fuck anyway she was rude to the walmart people she was in there for almost an hour, didn’t get her script, I have to go in and help her go to the bathroom and all this stuff all this stuff whatever she’s rude the whole time and expects me to stop and get her cigarettes and all this other stuff anyway finally after I had already cried and called my mom and told her I’m bringing Britt home and not helping her anymore I can’t do it, we’re on the way home and idk we saw this horrible accident happen like we saw the whole thing it was rpetty intense and actually really crazy but she’s in full on horrible bitch mode so shes like oh too bad that wasn’t me too bad I didn’t die idk so of course we’re arguing while I’m driving us home okay we’re so close to home dude and we’re just screaming at each other okay to the point where I can’t even scream because my voice just comes out raspy I can’t go that high okay anyway and we come to a red light and she gets out of the car she has a splint on her foot okay and she starts making a huge fucking scene close to our neighborhood in the middle of the goddamn street she stands out there trying to get hit by a car people start coming out of their apartments to try to help her of course I look like the bad guy because she’s like, “I BROKE MY FOOT AND MY SISTER REFUSES TO TAKE ME HOME REFUSES” screaming telling everyone that I punched her (I’m like a third of her size first of all, second, we were arguing my arms were moving and I slapped her arm lmao) anyway whatever I’m the bad guy I finally get crazy bitch back in my car (100% regret not just leaving her in the middle of the road so she can see what a fucking dumbass she is) anyway still screaming the whole time of course, I pull up into the driveway and I’m like dude get out of my fucking car and don’t ever fucking talk to me again and she got out but she wouldn’t get her stuff out so I tossed her purse out it’s fucking huge and heavy and i’m in the driver’s seat I can barely even toss it lol anyway I toss her shoe out throw it and she fucking leans in the car and tries to punch me in the face but she has shit aim I guess and missed and hit my shoulder/neck and she really hits like a bitch I didn’t even feel it my blood was pumping so my car is still on because I’m a dumbass but I’m just like fuck this I’m getting my mom to get her out of the car so I start going in and I turn and see her reach in my truck and get the keys from the ignition so I go in the house and say mom she has my keys she’s taking my truck she’s going to fuck it up and I go back outside and she threw them and I heard them land somewhere and so I go back over idk it’s kind of muddled idk maybe after she punched me was when I got out and like idk but like I was fucking done dude I was livid and she was getting in my face and I pushed her a few times and she got real in my face so I shoved her by the throat and like she was like oh you’re gonna choke me now like nah dude I’m just trying not to punch you in the fucking face anyway then she goes where’s my knife so I stand there and I’m like hell yeah get your knife you’re going  to stab me? and she’s like yep and she fucking takes it out and I start walking toward her like yeah dude fucking stab me PLEASE and my mom comes out and is like are you fucking serious I have to live here blah blah bc we’re loud as fuck making a scene in front of our house okay oh I forgot to mention before my mom came out and my sister was like yeah when you go to your room give me back that grinder I gave you and I was like you never gave me a grinder I’ve always had my own and she was like um no I gave you one and when you go up there and find it you better fucking apologize (I left out a loooooot of dialogue of her saying stupid horrible shit about how I’m selfish and need to respect her bc she’s older and all this like nah dude respect given is respect fucking earned and you’ve treated me like shit my whole goddamn life anyway) and she’s like yeah I gave you a grinder I don’t fucking lie I never lie blah blah anyway back to when my mom comes out trying to diffuse the situation, my sister immediately says, “MOM SHE CHOKED ME TO DEATH SHE CHOKED ME SHE BROKE MY FOOT TODAY” she literally said I broke her foot after I spent 10 hours catering to her every fucking need okay. Anyway she cut my aux cord in my truck, the only thing that brings me daily joy, being able to listen to my music, it’s an old truck I had a cassette tape aux cord thing and idk I ended up bleeding on my arm probably from her disgusting ugly ass huge fake nails I didn’t even know until after and like anyway I go upstairs, find the SCALE she gave me bc she said she didn’t need it (it was janky as fuck anyway and I had already gotten a new one from my friend) and I put it in front of her door and I hear her trying to come up the stairs and I was like I put the scale in front of your door and she was like “OH THE ONE YOU SAID YOU DIDNT HAVE YOU FUCKING LIAR” and I was like no you said GRINDER and it was a scale you fucking idiot and shes like oh i’m a stupid fucking idiot huh blah blah blah I was like no apology needed just don’t ever talk to me again and like I locked my bedroom door and went to go get gas and she texts me “YOU STOLE MY RED BAG MY RED BAG WAS IN THE TRUCK AND YOU STOLE IT IT HAS MY PIPE MEDICINE AND MEDICATION!!!!!!! (she doesn’t take medication she doesn’t even have insurance she has drugs yeah but she already had those on her and her pipe was in her room anyway) AND IT’S NOT IN MY ROOM IT’S NOT IN MY PURSE IT’S NOT IN MY POCKET IT’S NOT IN THE HALLWAY IT’S NOT OUTSDIDE i RANSACKED EVERYWHERE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR TRUCK THAT’S THE ONLY ANSWER I NEED IT. and I replied, “Nope it’s on the table downstairs where you left it before we left earlier today like I told you, earlier today. No apology needed again. Don’t ever talk to me.” 

and she was gone I was gone my friend picked me up and let me cry and vent while we smoked and she texted me yup same and then she was typing still so I blocked her and later after my night had already gotten so much better (I got drunk, went bowling, had steak and eggs with one of the coolest fucking people I know okay) and then later I got a text from my mom that she forwarded to me which was originally from my sister, which was telling my mom a bunch of bullshit to make me sound/look bad about me sneaking -people into the house and all this stuff and I was just like wow yeah okay I was like how would I even do that you have cameras everywhere? Like I remember Britt telling me she had her friend Cy over to the house and I was pissed bc she let him be around Link and I don’t know/like that guy? but it’s whatever so yeah my sister broke her foot yesterday and I helped her all day and that’s the appreciation she shows/has :) no more. 

I’m still always going to be a giving caring person, I swear to god I wish I wouldn’t, but I can’t help it, but I’m not giving any time to people that try to make me feel bad when I’ve never done anything but try to fucking help them. Already spent almost two years with someone like that and I’m finally recovering from it and I get hit with this lmao. Doesn’t matter who it is, next time, I‘m just going to leave them in the middle of the road. The people who know me well, always see the truth and who I really am and they’ve seen my ugly side too but they know that I’m not a bad person and I only get ugly and mean when I’m provoked. Literally I wish yesterday didn’t happen lol bc I don’t like acting like that, I never get like that she is literally the only person that gets that reaction out of me and it’s only happened maybe twice? Alec was the only other person who ever provoked like a smaller degree of that kind of reaction from me. I don’t like being that person and I don’t like people that force me and push me to be that person. People think they can keep pushing me and pushing me and I won’t push back but I do have a breaking point and when I reach it, it’s not good for those that push me. I’m not very intimidating and when it comes down to it, it’s my advantage when it gets to that point. I was always scared to get into a real fight with my sister but honestly I have 100% faith now that I could kick her ass. Like with two working feet lol. she talks a big game but she really is not shit. I wish I could love her. Never trying again.  

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