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#he's actually so rude
redwhiteandmorallygay · 7 months
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this man needs to be put in his place, be humbled bc he can't be doing this. he like honestly is too gorgeous and is too aware of it. i'm actually unstable.
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hellenhighwater · 1 year
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you said you had a script for negotiating for secondhand things. What is it?
For me, for these kinds of small person-to-person sales, the goal is to get a good deal but also leave the seller feeling like they didn't get hosed, like they talked me into a deal. So there's strategic reasons for this script, but it's also honest. I'm not going to lie to the seller, and I'm not going to be rude.
I mostly use this on Marketplace. If someone lists something as a firm price, I'm not going to ask them to reduce it; if it's been listed for a long time I may ask if they're still firm on price, and if the answer is yes, I respect that. If it's something awesome and it's a good price, I don't bother with this. Otherwise, here's how it usually goes.
Availability: Still for sale?
Inquiry: I have a question about _____. (Size, color, function, etc. Not a question already answered in the description.)
Gratitude: Thank you for answering the question, that makes things clearer for me. This, and the inquiry, are about building rapport and investment in the conversation. They've put a little time into talking and they don't want it to be wasted.
Reservation: I have a concern about why this may not work for me. (Indicating you're on the fence on the sale, and they should move their price point to hook you.) This can be concerns about matching with other things you have, functionality, whatever.
Opening Offer: Your ideal, too-good-to-be-true price. For me this is often about a third below the listed price.
Answer: The seller either counters with another number, agrees to your opening offer, or says they're firm on the listed price.
Counter or Close: If they're firm on price, take it or leave it. If they countered, you can make another offer (typically somewhere around the halfway point between your two numbers) or accept the number they gave. You can continue making offers as long as you want but for most people it'll be offer-counter-final offer.
Say thank you. Arrange payment and pickup.
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parisoonic · 10 months
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blanketorghost · 8 months
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POV: You're Azul Ashengrotto.
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natjennie · 5 months
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the captain's top ten cuntiest moments. numbers 1-10 "these builders make the luftwaffe look like a youth group- no offense pat, we know your lot were capable of killing"
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thetarttfuldickhead · 2 months
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I think there’s a lot of unmined potential in Jamie being conditioned to prick out when he’s flipped off, ‘cause if the team’s doing the rounds some late night after a win and some random dude decides to give Jamie the finger then—
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ohitslen · 10 months
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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)
#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell#and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling#Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy#he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore#fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors#so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested#as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments#and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group#separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader#and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him#but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line#like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security#one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again#“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying#education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy#Trigun Uni! AU#because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#wolfwood#vash#Nai saverem#millions knives#lenssi draws#pen!
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newttxt · 2 years
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hubert learns(?) faith
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dantelionwishes · 8 months
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neurodivergent people convention
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iheartjameshetfield · 7 months
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don’t look at me like that i’ll cum
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oceanwithouthermoon · 3 months
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people who dislike saiki kusuo i need to pick and prod at ur brain. whats going on in there?
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tennessoui · 4 months
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Number 19 for the prompt thing. The parents meeting because of their kids. I’m kinda imagining Korkie being like a tutor/school reading buddy for the twins or something but you can just ignore that if it doesn’t match your thoughts on it.
hello!! i thought back as much as i could, and i don't think i actually did this prompt the first time around a couple of years ago, so there's nothing to link to save for the prompt list!
i stuck with korkie as obi-wan's kid and the twins as anakin's, but made the kids the same age and then took...a few more liberties with the prompt haha
(19. parents meeting while taking their kids to class) (sort of)
(2.8k)
“Leia, baby, why do you always decide to get into fights at school when it’s my week with you?” Anakin asks the steering wheel as he buckles himself in and turns over the engine. “They’re going to start thinking I’m raising a truant. Then they’re going to start asking about your home life, then they’re going to bring in experts to ask me more questions, then Padmé’s parents are going to throw their considerable legal weight around and get my partial custody revoked and then where will we be? Is that what you want? To only see me on your birthday and Christmas?”
Anakin pauses and reconsiders. Knowing his daughter, she may very well only want to see him for birthdays and Christmases. It would mean double the presents.
Thankfully the silence of the car doesn’t offer much in the way of constructive critique.
At a red light, he puts his head down on the steering wheel for a long enough moment that the car behind him honks when the light changes to green.
“They’re going to stop letting me leave work to come get you,” Anakin mutters a few minutes later as he turns the car into the school’s parking lot. “I have a partner meeting in thirty minutes that I really can’t miss, baby. Can’t you at least schedule your schoolyard fights around my calendar?”
It’s all rather pointless, but it feels good to grumble and bitch in the time it takes him to leave his office and arrive at the school, before he has to put on his adult face and demeanor to sit through another round of We’re Worried Your Five Year Old Is Too Violent As She Seems To View The Monkey Bars As Sacrificial Zones.
“Maybe she’d like hockey,” he says under his breath as he grabs his jacket from the other seat and swings it over his suit. It’s fucking freezing already, not even December. It’s indecent, that’s what it is. Surely a place as cold as this has a peewee hockey team in need of another angry little girl.
“Thank you,” he says when a woman holds the door open for him on her way out the building.
He’s stil sort of freaked out that the elementary school his children are going to is fancy enough to have an entrance hallway with a chandelier hanging from the ceilingk, but it’s not him that’s paying for their private school education that doesn’t offer discounts for all the collective hours they’ll spend napping on the floors.
To the immediate left of the door is the receptionist’s desk—behind her, the nurse’s room. He’s quite familiar with both. Mrs. Whitsdale even waves when she sees him, which means, unfortunately, she’s just made the shortlist of people Anakin needs to make Christmas cookies for. She joins the ranks of everyone else that’s been made to deal with his son and daughter in the tumultuous year after the divorce.
“Hi, ma’am,” he says dutifully, sticking his head into the receptionist area. “Do I need to sign in or can I just go up?”
She waves him away. “I’ve already got you, sweetheart. You’re late anyway, they’re waiting for you upstairs.”
“You’re a miracle amongst men,” he calls out as he turns instead to the right of the door and up the old staircase that leads to the principal’s office. This is also a route he is incredibly familiar with.
How can he be late? He practically flew here on light feet and broken speed limits. It’s enough to take his mood from bad to worse, which isn’t optimal for a meeting with the principal of the school when it’s his kid who caused the fight. Anakin’s role is to nonconfrontational, contrite to the point of groveling—because he knows his daughter won’t. 
That’s already hard enough when he’s feeling normal. It’s practically impossible when he’s feeling foul.
But Padmé did always say Leia got her stubbornness and temper from Anakin.
Anakin’s always said Leia never really had a chance considering who her parents are. 
After all, someone threw a hairdryer at the hotel mirror before they got divorced and it wasn’t Anakin. But he’s not stupid enough to even think that when Padmé’s around.
The big oak door at the end of the hallway on the second floor is elaborate, looks heavy, and stays closed. He knows that this is the headmaster’s office, but he’s never seen the guy around. He doesn’t even know what the guy does. What’s a headmaster of an elementary school doing every day? 
It’s an elementary school.
But, again. Anakin’s not paying for all this pomp and circumstance.
He takes another right instead, down the corridor in the opposite direction to the principal’s office. The door’s left ajar, and Anakin knocks politely before entering at the call to.
A couple of things bring him up short as soon as he steps into the room. For one thing, it’s not Principal Cinoff behind the desk, but a stranger who has the remnants of a three-piece suit on, jacket hanging neatly on a coat rack in the corner of the room. His vest is a deep red that should do nothing but drain his complexion—all pasty white skin, freckled and sun-starved, paired with his reddish hair and beard. It doesn’t, which is unfair to the point of duplicity. Or–something.
The way he’s sitting at the desk, hands spread wide on the wood and shoulders back, leaves no doubt in Anakin’s mind that the stranger is in a position of power here at the school. And probably in, like. Life. He looks like the kind of guy who gets his groceries on discount even without providing a loyalty card. He also looks like the kind of guy the system bends to accommodate. As a lawyer, Anakin is offended and deeply disturbed. That’s why his stomach does two or three flips in quick succession when they make eye contact.
The stranger’s eyes are cool and focused as they run over Anakin, and he gives him a perfunctory incline of his head. At least his eyes are warmer when they fall to the kids in front of him. 
And that’s the other thing that shocks him.
The amount of children in front of the desk. One pouting ginger kid off to the side, arms crossed and staring down at his light-up sneakers.
And then two very familiar heads of hair on the other side. 
“Luke?” He asks before he can stop himself, surprise dripping from his tone. “What are you doing here?”
At this rate, he’s going to give his daughter a complex, he knows it.
But Luke has never been in trouble before. Sure, they’re only five, and it’s only been three months of school, but in that time, Anakin’s been called down here six times to deal with Leia-related emergencies. He’s always imagined that meanwhile, Luke was in his classroom, chewing on crayons or diligently helping the teacher pass out homework assignments.
The stand-in principal coughs slightly and rises. “Ah, Mr. Skywalker-Amidala. Thank you for being able to join us today.”
Anakin scowls automatically before schooling his face into something far more diplomatic and pleasant when his children whirl around in their seats to look at him. The last thing he needs is for his children to think they can sneer at authority figures, given that he’s one of their main authority figures. 
Luke leaves his chair to hug onto his leg, pressing his small face into the fabric of his pants, presumably seeking comfort and also to wipe his face dry of tears and snot.
Anakin puts a hand on his head and strokes through his hair, darting a curious glance at Leia, who has turned around to glare forward again, arms crossed over her chest.
“It’s just Skywalker, actually,” he tells the stranger. “Amidala is their mother.”
The man’s eyebrow goes up and he picks up a pen to make a note on the papers before him. An actual note. Regarding Anakin’s divorce. “Ah, apologies then,” he says. “Our contact list notes you as the father, Skywalker-Amidala, and their mother as Amidala-Organa.”
Anakin squints, trying to decide if the stranger is just trying to correct a clerical error in the school’s records or fishing for gossip. He gives him the benefit of the doubt. “Amidala is their mother, recently remarried to Organa. Organas. And she’s always been better at remembering to file paperwork than I am.”
The stranger keeps his face admirably placid. “Ah,” he says. “Well, Mr. Skywalker. Should we begin?”
“Uh,” he says. “What about the other parent?”
The stranger blinks at him, both eyebrows raised. “I’m a widower.”
“Uh,” he says. “I meant…” he gestures at the other child, the surly looking ginger kid.
“I’m afraid it will just be us, Mr. Skywalker,” the stranger says. “Please, sit.”
Anakin sits, and Luke is quick to scramble up into his lap with a very plaintative, “I didn’t really mean to.”
“So at recess today, the children were playing on the swings,” the stranger who must be the principal for the day says. “And—”
“Sorry,” Anakin interrupts. “Can I get your name please? I was expecting Principal Cinoff.”
The man pauses. “Sheri has been put on sudden maternity-leave a few months early,” he says. “For the next couple of weeks, I’ll be dual-hatting as both principal and headmaster while we continue to search for a temporary replacement.” He raises an eyebrow at Anakin. Anakin really doesn’t appreciate that. “This was in an email the school sent out to all the parents recently.”
“Yes, well,” Anakin says. “I get a lot of emails.”
The man looks unimpressed. “I encourage you to prioritize the communications from your children’s learning institute.”
Anakin bristles. What a dick. Who the fuck says learning institute?
“I’m sorry, what’s your name?” he asks in his best unimpressed voice.
“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” the man’s unimpressed voice is ten times more chilling than Anakin’s, which is also not fair. “Please, call me Dr. Kenobi.” Anakin scowls. “I appreciate the fact that you feel as though you can cover the extremely busy roles of both headmaster and principal of an elementary school, but I would really rather wait until the other parent gets here so we can most productively discuss the altercation, Mr. Kenobi.”
“Please, Mr. Skywalker,” Kenobi says. “Leave the litigation to the court rooms, we—”
“It’s Esquire, actually.”
Kenobi’s face grows very pinched around the mouth and eyebrows. Anakin feels a vicious thrill course through him even as his stomach flips again.
“I suppose I should have made it clearer at the beginning of this session,” Kenobi says, tone dripping in you idiot. “This is my son, Korkie.”
Anakin’s mouth falls open. His immediate thought is, of course, Korkie Kenobi? And he thought Luke and Leia were too cutesy for twin names.
“Korkie is a family name,” Kenobi adds rather dryly. “My late wife’s grandfather’s.”
Anakin doubts that’s even true. He bets it’s not actually, that Kenobi just plays the dead wife card to get out of judgemental questions about his naming abilities.
But then another, worse thought occurs to Anakin. “Wait a second, you can’t be the parent and the principal!”
“I assure you, I am impartial.”
“Like hel—heck you are!” Anakin straightens in his seat and Luke lets out a grumble, clinging tightly to his front. “I demand a different authority.” “No,” Kenobi says firmly, as if the matter is at rest. This, of course, is absolutely infuriating.
“It’s unfair bias and I will not see either of my children punished in a tyrannical and self-serving institution—”
Kenobi pinches at the bridge of his nose. “Mr. Skywalker, unless you would like to have me call Mrs. Cinoff away from her pre-mature baby, I am the best option this school has. Please. Settle down.”
“Dad,” Leia says, “I don’t want to miss reading time.”
Anakin breathes out in disgust. Shitty, overpriced private school. This sort of thing would never happen at a publicly funded school.
“The fact of the matter is that Luke pushed Korkie off the swings,” Kenobi says with a stern look at both Luke and Anakin. He holds up his hand when Anakin opens his mouth. “An incident that many were witness to. And before you make an accusation, there were many witnesses who were not on the school’s payroll, Mr. Skywalker.”
Anakin closes his mouth sullenly.
“Korkie could have been very hurt, Luke,” Kenobi says, clasping his hands in front of him and looking down at Anakin’s son. “He was swinging pretty fast when you pushed him, and he could have broken his ankle in the fall.”
Luke’s bottom lip trembles. “I didn’t want to hurt him,” he mumbles, turning his face back into Anakin’s sleeve. “He was being mean. I just wanted him to stop.” “I wasn’t!” Korkie cries, sitting straight in his chair for the first time since Anakin’s arrived. “I wasn’t being mean, dad!” “You said Leia’s hair looks like cinnamon buns on her head!” Luke shouts back, pushing away from Anakin’s arms to glare at the other boy. 
Anakin winces. When it’s Padmé’s turn with the kids, Leia always turns up to school with elaborately braided hair, twisted on top of her head in elegant formations that look effortlessly pretty. He knows that’s not Padmé’s work, but he also can’t figure out if Breha or Bail is responsible. It’s not something he wants to ask.
The fanciest Anakin can do, after all, is two buns on either side of Leia’s head. 
That do, truth be told, look rather like cinnamon rolls.
“Ah,” Kenobi says. “I believe I understand the miscommunication here. Korkie, would you like to tell the Skywalkers what you meant when you told Luke that Leia’s hair looked like cinnamon buns?”
If possible, the kid turns even more red, blushing furiously. “I really like cinnamon buns,” he mutters, crossing his arms tighter. “They’re my favorite.”
“He’s started asking for them for breakfast several times a week,” Kenobi tells Anakin with a smile lingering around his lips. “I’ve been wondering why.”
Anakin isn’t sure he likes the explanation. Sure, Korkie can have whatever sort of crush on his daughter that he wants to have, but likening her hair to cinnamon buns isn’t very kind, and he’s pretty sure that if someone else was the judge in this trial, they wouldn’t be so quick to justify the other boy’s words.
Luke seems to agree with him. “Your hair looks like carrots,” he snaps, crossing his arms.
Because Anakin is an intelligent adult who understands that making enemies with the headmaster’s son isn’t the best move, he adds on the Skywalker family’s behalf, “Luke loves carrots.”
Luke, in fact, hates carrots. 
“There is still the matter of Luke pushing Korkie off the swing,” Kenobi says, eyebrows raised like he understands exactly what’s going unsaid here. “We do not encourage physical violence of any sort here, and it was dangerous. Korkie could have been hurt much more badly than a scraped knee.”
The words are very serious and grave, and Luke wilts under the headmaster-principal-father’s disappointed stare. Anakin bristles.
“Well, it’s his first infraction,” he says. “And he was sticking up for his sister. I think that’s fair. He won’t do it again.”
“Hm,” Kenobi says, pushing papers aside and pulling out a glossy leaflet. “Now, I cannot force you to consider this, but I noticed that neither Luke nor Leia are currently enrolled in any of our extracurriculars.”
“They’re five.”
“We have many on offer at Jedi Prepatory School,” Kenobi continues as if Anakin hasn’t said anything. “And I wanted to highlight our peewee hockey league. I think both Leia and Luke would enjoy the rigorous schedule, and they may…benefit from the…structure it offers. And team activity.”
Anakin glowers. He can read between the lines. Kenobi’s just called his parenting style structureless and lazy. It makes him want to grab the pamphlet and rip it to shreds in front of him. “I would have to talk about it with their mother,” he says stiffly instead.
“Of course,” Kenobi says cheerfully. “When you do, please give Bail and Breha my well-wishes as well. It’s been far too long since I’ve had the time to see them, given how exhastingly busy it is to be the headmaster and principal of an elementary school.”
“Right,” Anakin grits out. “Yeah. I’ll let my ex-wife’s new partners know.”
Kenobi’s smile is all teeth. “I look forward to seeing you in the rink, Mr. Skywalker Esquire. My son plays on the team.”
Anakin wonders if there’s another peewee hockey team he can have his kids join. Just so they can beat Jedi Prepatory school and then laugh in Korkie and Dr. Kenobi’s faces.
Yeah. That sounds really nice.
He’ll look when he gets back to work.
This takes priority.
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wodimewoahtime · 3 days
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the way ivan has "sparking flames from stones" as his talent😭😭😭 he's so weird we need to destroy him (laser beam of love)
the most amazing thing to me isn't that he can make a fire from stones (very hard) but that he put that as a talent at all???? ivan????????
bro could probably not blink for 10min (honed from till watching) or do triple yaoi backflips (raw yaoi power) and he chose this.....
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trader-scars · 7 days
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i don't know how to explain it but tangotek is like, the gordon ramsay of redstone
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starcurtain · 3 months
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Silly DiluVen Fic I Want to Read
That feeling when Jean shows up at your bar with your two-inch-tall fairy archon in the palm of her hands because apparently he's sick??? (Mona, please scry, can cat scratch fever actually kill someone--)
And apparently the Knights of Favonius Headquarters is not an acceptable place for him to recuperate because Klee exists? ("Hmph, a fair point. Kaeya is there too." "Wowwww.")
So the only reasonable alternative is to keep him at the Dawn Winery??? (Is this actually reasonable? Diluc doesn't think so, but then again he also thought a four-year-long murder spree was reasonable, so he is, perhaps, not the best of judges.)
Or: Google doesn't exist in Teyvat anymore, so Diluc just spends a week searching for cures and experiencing exponentially-increasing stress levels, because archons aren't supposed to get sick, they're definitely not supposed to turn into handkerchiefs with delusions of grandeur, and it turns out that it is much, much harder to keep comatose fairies out of trouble than anyone could ever have imagined.
(Also known as: "What do you mean you LOST him--" + "Lisa, what do wind sprites even eat--" + "My archon cannot be this cute" + "Is that our god in your pocket or are you just happy to see me" + "Die" + "I assure you, this is a doll. I just like dolls now. Please stop asking questions." + "This is weird" [builds a pillow nest anyway] + Of course he gets the human body back on the one night I cradled him in my arms--)
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girlwithonegoal · 6 months
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sorry but the only reason destiel even works is because wincest did it first and also better
i've been thinking a LOT about this and want to get it all out so here it is. if dean was truly in love with cas, he would not have hesitated to tell him so when he literally knew cas was about to DIE. we don't see that. we see shock, grief, disbelief (an angel loves me!), we see him trying desperately to process his best friend is leaving him but nowhere does dean say, or imply, with his eyes, or words, that he's in love with cas. of course he loves cas - cas is family - and cas is not exactly his brother, (closest is brother-in-arms), despite his insistence in an earlier episode - but he's not in the kind of soul-crushing love that cas is with him. he's not in love with cas, and can't be, because he's already in love with sam.
when dean dies, he gets as close as he possibly can to confessing to sam he's in love with him without actually crossing the line. he would never to that to sam - he would never do to sam what cas did to him - because he would NEVER do anything to make sam lose his agency (sidebar: not that cas doesn't respect dean. but his love confession is almost wish fulfillment - i'm going to confess to dean i love him and go out in a blaze of glory and then leave without dean ever even having to reciprocate because i know he doesn't love me back. and he's absolutely right).
dean has already had years and years of not having his own agency from john his whole fucking life! john did whatever he wanted to dean and dean took it because like hell was he going to subject sam to that bullshit. which brings us to sam and dean's childhood - not much is known of their early years before sam went to stanford and that's fully on purpose. we can almost see dean as not only a brother figure to sam but also a father figure. john leaving for weeks maybe even months at a time - how the hell did dean and sam manage to survive? by dean doing whatever he had to do. emphasis on whatever.
you see, john absolutely knows that dean is beautiful. whether you read their relationship as purely abusive or abusive with a sexual component - dean definitely did questionable things to get food on the table for sam, an aspect that's more in fanon that canon but reads true to the heart of the show. sam doesn't know because dean wanted a normal childhood for him. and dean would rather die and go to hell for 800 years than force sam to make a choice, make any choice, of a romantic and/or sexual nature related to him.
back to dean's death. this is again the closest thing to a love confession that dean can make - my baby brother - take out the word brother and it would be not only romantic but stunningly true - he raised sam, this child who grew up to be a man, this child who loves him - waiting outside sam's dorm for hours - can you picture him pacing in the snow, waiting for the one thing he wants but can't have??? why does that sound familiar? oh, right, because that's what cas said but in dean and sam's case it would be actually true. how cruel and unbelievably insane it is to find your soulmate in your brother, the one person you have that you love unconditionally, not just because they are your family but because you are in love with them, and you can never have them as long as you live.
re: american gothic and soulmatism. very different from crimson peak where thomas fully realizes the unhealthiness of the codependent incestuous relationship with his sister and wants to be free and happy with edith. but sam and dean don't want to be free. in their minds, they already are free as long as they have each other and only each other. not getting in all the other romantic relationships that the brothers have with other people bc it would take too long, but they already fulfill that need for each other and don't need anyone else...like i'm sorry i love my sister but i want to get married one day to someone else. if you read their relationship as purely platonic, it doesn't work at ALL.
the kripke early seasons fully leaned into the gothic horror aspect of it all and incest is definitely a part of that...dean and sam literally cannot live without each other. they can't do it! sam dies in dean's arms and dean can't even wait five fucking minutes without making a deal with a demon lmao. he can't eat. he can't sleep. their love is a perpetual resurrection; they keep killing each other and bringing each other back to life. because they don't know how to stop. they are a singular mangled fucked up entity. i read a fic once where the author described sam as hating his own body because it was separate from dean's and dean's whole presence was a phantom pain. and yeah. just yeah. they can't live without each other because they ARE each other.
seasons 1-3 to me are spn at its soul. that's it. cas only works as a side character, if he's a brother (like, purely platonically) to both sam and dean or just unrequited romantic love for dean. the trope of an angel falling in love with a faithless man who can't pray only works if dean hasn't been in love with sam the whole time.
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