#hey guys! just wanted to say. to any NEW followers; please skim over my rules before following. ;v ;

[twitchstoleyourbagel]

So I’m posting my fic here until my AO3 account gets approved :) this is my first fic, please enjoy!

EC - 8538

Gender - Female

Chapter 1

85 walked down the blinding white, lifeless halls of the Kaminoan cloning facility. Most if not all of the cadets who had passed her raised a brow or stared at her as they passed, and she didn’t blame them. A human female living in the same facility as a bunch of boys who had probably never seen a girl before would be an odd sight. 85 was an experimental clone, she had been told there was another experimental female but she never had the chance of meeting her.

There had been a few batches that the Kaminoans took creative liberty with but none survived. All but one anyways. Though she didn’t know if the squad had a name or not (she wasn’t told much) like most batches such as the Domino squad, or Hurricane squad, she did know that they had enhanced senses or something like that. One had good eyesight, the other was really big and apparently strong, one was smart and the other could feel things. She didn’t even know if those were the actual enhancements of the squad, she had only heard it from other cadets talking about them.

Finally she reached the training facility, apparently she was going to train with the Spirit squad today, hopefully she stays with this one. After so long of jumping around, training with different squads trying to see if she got along with any of them, this better be the last one. She quickly changed into her training gear and ran out to meet the clones. They turned to meet her and their eyes grew wide.

As expected. She internally sighed to herself.

“Hey guys, I’m EC - 8538, or you can just call me 85.” The girl with fluffy purple hair stuck her hand out for them to shake which instead they just stood there, glancing at one another. That was until one of the clones with longer, curly hair, stepped forward and shook it firmly.

“Pleasure to meet you, 85. I’m Hopper, that’s Quill, 77, and 24.” He gestured to himself and then pointed to the men behind him. They had to be 7th or 8th year cadets, Hopper was extremely professional and cut to the chase. 77 gave her an awkward wave and a lopsided smile, his messy hair fell down into his eyes and he reached up to fix it, not looking as happy as he did a second ago. And 24 nodded but kept quiet

Huh. He looks a little shy? Or just reserved?

She brought her hand back to her side and it twitched, soon her neck followed suit and she cursed under her breath. Damn Kaminoans and all their testing. Hopper raised a brow when her face scrunched up while her neck twitched.

“Hey she twitches!” 77 called out like they couldn’t all see. He received a smack in the arm by the brother standing next to him. “Ow.”

85 cleared her throat and rolled her neck, trying to shake it off. Hopper still looked at her as if waiting for an explanation and Quill had a concerned look on his face.

“It happens all the time, don’t worry it doesn’t affect my fighting if that’s what you guys are worried about.”

Quill glanced at Hopper and then back at the girl.

“Are you an experimental clone? Are you even a clone at all?”

She barked a Hah! At his question. It wasn’t a bad question, in fact his curiosity was to be expected. However she made a bet with herself on the way to the facility. The bet was if someone was gonna ask something along the lines of that question.

“Yeah, I am. I know there’s been a few batches before me but none made it. I know of one that is out on the field, I think there’s also another female clone who’s been dispatched with a squad but I never met her.” She frowned at the thought, staring at the ground thoughtfully.

The doors hissed and the trainer walked in. Joy. A tall, red, Togrutan male walked through the doors with his hands folded behind his back. Reese glared at them and they immediately snapped to attention, staring straight at the wall. 85 tried to hide the shudder that the trainer had sent down her spine as he walked by. She felt a twitch coming on from nervousness but tried her best to keep it down, however her hands did begin twitching.

“You are going to be doing a level 8 difficulty training exercise today. With a new.. addition to the team,” He flicked his eyes to 85. “I want to see how you 5 will work together as a team dynamic. EC - 8538 is an experimental clone, her particular… difference and skill I want to see today is her enhanced reflexes,”

Quill shot a quick glance at Hopper while the trainer wasn’t looking.

Kriff kriff kriff-

Her neck jerked to the left and her arms were brought up to her chest. Rule number one when a trainer is addressing you (especially one as strict as Reese) do not break attention. And that’s exactly what she did.

“Is there a problem, EC - 8538?” Reese snapped in her face. She tried her best not to flinch and get back to attention.

“No, Sir.” She stood straight, chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.

“Stay at attention when I address you. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Now, as I was saying, you will be running a level 8 training course today, and if you do not pass, you will restart.”

Tension arose in the room after 85 was yelled at by Reese, it only escalated when he threatened to restart the simulation if they failed to complete it.

“Grab your guns. The test will begin momentarily.” With that, he turned on his heel and made his way to the top of the room where he could oversee the course.

Hopper glanced at her before picking up one of the training blasters provided and handed another one to Quill. She sighed and found one for herself. 77 came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder and nodded to her. What kind of nod it was supposed to be was unknown, but she liked to think it was a ‘you got this’ notion. She smiled at him before taking her place on the floor, waiting patiently for the rest to join her. Hopper stood next to her and the rest followed after him.

“Alright everyone, take your positions. 85, I want you with me.” He glanced around at the squad and then to her.

“Yes, Sirrrr.” She raced after him behind cover and the simulation began. The ultimate goal was to take the ‘capital’ preferably without losing a team member. Granted they would only be stunned but it still didn’t help much. Hopper peeked over the cover they were standing behind and landed a few shots on a B1 training battle droid, taking it down. Across the left to them, Quill yanked 77 down just in time for a blaster bolt to skim over his head. With wide eyes he nodded his thanks to his vod before peeking over again.

The girl stayed by Hopper through most of the simulation. After 30 minutes they had finally advanced to the capital, all they had to do was to take out the droids inside. Rushing into the building, a battle droid aimed and shot for her. A bolt skimmed right by her nose but due to her enhanced reflexes she had dodged it just in time, right after it had passed she raised her blaster and killed the droid.

“Nice work, 85!” Hopper praised through comms. Across the room she could see him take down two droids

“Yeah! Twitchy here is doing pretty good!” 77 chirped in her ear as he pushed 24 out of the way of what was going to be a direct hit.

Twitchy… I like it.

“Why thank you, gentlemen. Not so bad yourself.” If there was one thing she was certain about in life it was that she liked this squad. When she was first told she was training with the Spirit squad she had low hopes. Like the rest of the squads she had trained with, they had seen her differently, not as a sister but a freak.

“Man, they really weren’t joking when they said level 8!” Quill yelled while running from three droids, all firing at him. 85 whipped around and downed two of them, Hopper finishing the third one. He bent down to help his brother up from his hiding spot from the floor. “Thanks, vod.” With a nod, he ran off with Quill following close behind.

“Almost there, boys!” She ran down the hall and began to vault herself over the wall to reach the mark that ended the simulation. Sudden searing pain in her abdomen sent her crashing into the ground, her gun falling out of her hands. When she looked up to see what had hit her, a training commando droid was rushing towards her.

“Commandos!” She was able to choke out through the pain. It wasn’t as painful as a real blaster wound but man did it still hurt. Her neck jerked to the side and her legs seized up.

Not good, not good, not good-

77 came crashing through the course, shooting the commando droid with Hopper to his left, taking out any threats. Once the droid fell he rushed over to 85s side and tried to help her, but he wasn’t Quill. He didn’t know what to do in a medical situation! Nervously, he tried to hold her legs still and calm her down, which seemed to work a little. “C’mon, twitch. We’re almost there.”

She groaned and slowly sat up, after a few seconds she braced herself on 77 arms and stood up. He bent over and handed her the gun she dropped, giving her an encouraging smile. “Alright, let’s go! I don't wanna do this again!” They ran side by side, shooting droids and climbing over the obstacles. After a few more minutes of running and vaulting, the pole was in sight. All they had to do was show Reese that they had the pole and he would end the simulation. Sweat trickled down her forehead as she and 77 booked it for the finish, soon enough she could hear the rest of them following.

77 was the first to reach the pole and yanked it out of its place cheering in excitement, Hopper, Quill, 24, and 85 all gave each other pats on the back.

“Great job everybody!” Hopper praised everyone and playfully punched Quill's shoulder. He looked back with a smile but his focus remained on the girl, she had taken a blow from one of the blasters and it seemed to have a decent effect on her. The training simulation shut down and the squad was released to their barracks to change and head to the mess hall.

_______________________

85 slipped on her boots and hurried to catch up with her new squad. “Heeeyyyyy!” She raised her hand for a high five at 77 once she saw him in the hall, instead he just stood there. “... you’re supposed to hit my hand. It’s a high five?” If these boys didn’t know what a high five was, there might be a slight problem. He hesitantly tapped her hand with his and she smiled.

“Nice job back there! You got some good reflexes.” He began walking down the hall that led to the cafeteria.

“Thanks. That’s my ‘enhancement’ or whatever you wanna call it. I got freaky fast moves.” She wiggled her fingers. Before 77 could reply, the rest of Spirit Squad came up behind them. They walked through the doors to the cafeteria and got in line with their trays. 85 could practically feel the others' eyes on her but she tried her best to just ignore them and get her food. Once she filled her tray, she followed Hopper to an empty table and sat across from him. The rest followed, 77 sitting next to her while Quill and 24 sat on Hopper's side.

“Welcome to the squad, 85.” Hopper smiled at her, happy to have a new addition.

“Twitch.”

“What?”

“Twitch, my name is Twitch.”

It was at that moment she saw 77 grow the biggest smile she had ever seen on a person, he was pretty much grinning from ear to ear.

“Well, Twitch,” Hopper's cup rose in the air. “Welcome to the Spirit Squad.” They all raised their cups and clinked them together before taking a sip. Everyone was smiling, even the more shy, 24.

“It’s good to be her-“

“Well well well, if it isn’t the freak. How did a lab rat end up in a squad like this?” Another clone squad passed their table, taunting Twitch. They laughed at the clone's harsh words but were cut off when Twitch replied.

“You lookin’ for a smack in the face, shabuir?” She had turned around to fully face the clone and stare him directly in the eyes. No bullying today, she would not let these idiots ruin her good day. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the rest of her squad stiffen, they seemed shocked like this wasn’t a regular occurrence.

“Oh it talks!”

It? Oh you’re dead.

Anger bubbled up inside of her and she reached up and grabbed his wrist, twisting it backwards causing him to drop his tray and food. He broke free from her grip and if looks could kill, she would most definitely be dead right now. The squad behind him puffed up their chests, ready for a fight. While she really didn’t want to fight, she was having a nice lunch with her new squad, it was their fault they picked on her. She couldn’t help the way that she was. Her neck twitched to the left and she sighed when they started snickering,

Hopper stood up from the bench he was sitting on to speak. “Listen, Fellas. We don’t want any trouble, just go your own way please.” The clones looked at Twitch once more before walking over to their own table, still side eyeing them occasionally.

“Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to start trouble-”

“Why are you apologizing? They should be the ones asking for forgiveness, you don’t deserve that. No one does.” 77 placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to get his point across.

“Yeah, Twitch it’s okay. We’re not mad at you, but… does that happen often?” Hopper scooted back into his seat.

“Uhm…” She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, it did happen a lot. So often she just accepted that it was normal. “Yeah… yeah pretty often, but I shouldn’t have grabbed him, I don’t know.”

“Well he deserved it.” 24 piped up. That was the first time Twitch had heard him speak, and it was defending her. “Next time anyone does that to you, you have every right to fight back.”

“Thanks guys.” She took a bite of the food that was on her plate, casting a glance at the table that the clone who mocked her moved to. One locked eyes with her for a second but quickly looked away, snickering to the table.

Yeah, you guys are real comedians.

77 slid his hand off her shoulder and continued to eat. Quill had that look on his face, one he had seen too many times, the one where he wanted to ask a question but was unsure of how to approach it. He very slightly motioned to Twitch, who was very focused on her food, all her spark had fizzled out. Oh if he could beat up those clones right then and there he would’ve, but he didn’t want to start a mess hall fight, those happened too often and he didn’t wanna get written up for misbehavior.

“So… if you don’t mind me asking,” Quill finally voiced his curiosity. “Why do you twitch? And wouldn’t it throw out your neck if you did it enough?”

“No, I don’t mind at all. You actually have a really good question there. I personally have no idea why I twitch, it could be the result of testing or just that I’m an experimental clone. It could just be a defect,” She shrugged. “My neck takes the brunt of it and it’s sore sometimes, some days worse than others. Apparently,” Twitch rested her elbow on the table, holding her fork. “I twitch a lot when I’m experiencing ‘extreme emotions’ at least that’s what the Kaminoans say, I’m not told much.”

“Oh…” He wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to that. “W-Well if you have a sore neck sometime I might be able to help.”

“Quill here has a dream of being a CMO so he takes whatever chance he gets to practice medical.. things.” 77 explained.

“Hey, that's not the right term!”

“Oh who cares.”

“Uh- I do??”

“Guys, guys. No bickering.” Twitch raised her hands to shush them before anything else could be said. “Quill, that would be awesome if you could help my neck sometime, it’s been giving me some problems lately.” His eyes lit up and he nodded.

Hopper sent a kind smile her way before he continued to eat his food.

Once they finished in the mess hall, Twitch was summoned to the medical bay. With a very heavy sigh, she waved bye to her squad and trudged down the cold halls reluctantly.

If you got this far, thank you! ♥️

#the bad batch #star wars #clone wars #oc story #star wars fanfiction #this is gonna be a bad batch fic #just wait #bad batch fic #Twitch_oc #clone ocs #bad batch oc #clone cadets

[megalony]

She’s a good girl

This is my new murderer! Ben Hardy series that was requested by the lovely @peterquillzsblog​ thank you for the request, I hope you all will like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg

Murderer! Ben masterlist

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Joe!" The surprise in (Y/n)'s voice was evident but the smile on her face showed it was not an unhappy surprise to find her eldest sibling sitting at the small dining table in the back room. With the odd shifts he worked, Joe tended not to tell them whenever he was coming round, he just turned up unannounced but always welcomed with open arms.

"(Y/n), hey I didn't know you were here." Joe spoke as if he temporarily forgot that (Y/n) still lived here with their parents but she knew what he was referring to. He thought she would be out somewhere with friends or at the cinema or just somewhere doing something. It never seemed to dawn on Joe that he had more freedom than she did because he didn't live at home anymore and he had a demanding job.

"Where else would I be?" (Y/n)'s voice was tender and there was a smile on her lips that showed she was trying to make a lighthearted joke when in fact her heart was weighing heavy in her chest.

When her arms wrapped around Joe, it made the pain in her chest subside until she almost forgot it was there entirely.

(Y/n) knew she was much better off than some people and her life was by no means horrid or gruelling, but it could be oppressive at times. She was the daughter of a Reverend and her mother was highly respected so it fell to her to make a good example and be a good and respected girl. Being the youngest also seemed to put more pressure onto (Y/n), like she had to live up to everybody in her family and try to be the best.

She helped her mother around the house, as per her mother's request, she helped her father with church events and making pamphlets and setting up the church ready for sermon on Sunday's. When family friends came round they awed and smiled at her like she was ten years old and they treated her like a little girl.

It made (Y/n) want to be rebellious, it made her want to go out without telling anyone and stay out late or all night. It made her want to have secrets of her own that she wouldn't tell anyone.

(Y/n) had no secrets.

She had no place to go that was her own, her parents always knew where she was when she went out and she came home at the stated time. She was the model child that she was tired of being now. Even Cora, her elder sister, wasn't this oppressed by their parents. But then again, Cora was going out with a lawyer and their parents deemed that as very good and he was 'respectable' so Cora was given more leeway and the benefit of the doubt.

Joe was a police officer and he worked hard and was good at his job so he was excused from everything. He wasn't obliged to come home on Wednesday for dinner like he used to when he went to college. He wasn't obliged or forced to go to church on Sunday or come home for Sunday lunch and dinner because of his work.

(Y/n) envied him so badly and the worst thing was that he didn't even know how lucky he was.

"What are you up to?" (Y/n) looked over Joe's shoulder, trying to be inconspicuous and not let him see how curious she was being. 'Curiosity killed the cat' (Y/n)'s mother would always say, but for (Y/n), 'satisfaction brought him back'.

Her eyes zoomed in on the brown paper file that was sitting almost untouched on the dining table. She couldn't see what papers were held within the file, but she knew enough to know that this was a personal file that was most likely about a criminal Joe was trying to catch. (Y/n) knew her brother all too well and when he was assigned someone to bring to justice, Joe stopped at nothing until he got them.

"I've got the afternoon off so I thought I'd come round, mum's been nagging me to come for dinner." Joe pulled back form the hug and leaned against the chair he had previously been sitting on, looking like he forgot there was a file behind him.

"Been busy at work?"

"God, I'm so close, (Y/n). There's this guy I've been after for weeks, he's the worst kind of guy to put in prison, there's never any evidence to put him away and he knows it. I can't figure him out but I know I'm this close to catching him." There was a yearning in Joe's voice as he pinched his index finger and thumb together to show just how close he felt he was to getting this man.

(Y/n) knew Joe couldn't tell her any details about whoever he was searching for but the passion in her brother's voice made her hopeful that this would work out in his favour.

"Joey, could you come here a minute?"

A smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips as she shared a look with her brother, no matter how many times he told their mother he wanted to be called Joe, she insisted on calling him Joey like she had done since he was a baby.

(Y/n) watched her brother walk out of the room and turn left to go into the bite size kitchen to find their mother. No matter how crude, inconsiderate or annoying their mother could be, Joe was always as sweet as sugar with her. He could do no wrong in her eyes and he always had the magic affect on her to calm her down. If she rowed with (Y/n) or Cora, Joe would diffuse the situation completely.

Pressing her lips into a thin line, (Y/n) leaned to look into the kitchen to make sure Joe was occupied and wouldn't be back any second before she cautiously moved over to the table. Her stomach buzzed with anticipation when she walked closer to the table until she was within reach of the file resting there. She knew she shouldn't, she knew it was wrong and against the rules and (Y/n) was a rule follower, not a rule breaker.

But she was so tempted. Just a sneak peek, just to see what kind of man Joe was after and what he had done. (Y/n) hadn't met a criminal before and she wanted to know what kind of people her brother helped to put away.

When her fingers skimmed over the file, (Y/n) felt like she was going to burn at the touch for how wrong this was, but she persevered and slowly pulled open the file. She knew she couldn't mess with the orders of the pages or scatter them on the table or Joe would chide her and get mad with her for even attempting to read the file he mistakenly left out fir her pleasure.

The first thing she noticed was a picture clipped to the left hand corner of the first page. It looked like a photo from a distance, it wasn't a mugshot but then again Joe had said they didn't manage to arrest this man. He didn't look how (Y/n) thought a murderer would look, this man was almost normal. He was very tall, he seemed to be muscular, he was well-shaven and had a sharp jawline, he had hair that was rather long on top and formed into waves and he had the most enticing eyes (Y/n) had ever seen.

She could feel her hand shaking when she cautiously reached out to lift the picture so she could read the first page.

The list seemed never-ending.

Murder, at least five counts that they knew of which he had never been convicted for. Blackmail on what seemed to be a very large scale, public violence, threatening behaviour, money laundering that he was actually caught for but somehow didn't get more than two months in prison for. GBH on numerous accounts but each time the victim backed out of testifying against him.

This man owned a boxing club and gym but Joe had written a question mark next to this and (Y/n) could faintly read his scribbled handwriting that said 'a front?' Maybe things were happening at the club that Joe couldn't explain or seemed dodgy.

(Y/n) dared to see what other pages were in this file and the first handful were victims. Some were postmortems, others were hospital records showing what he seemed to have done to people, broken ribs, broken nose, fractured and splintered arms and legs, shot in the kneecap, shot in the lung, broken sternum, pulled tendons and torn ligaments.

Looking back to the first page (Y/n) scanned over the information to find this man's name. Ben Hardy. That didn't sound like the name of a killer, it seemed rather pleasing to the ears.

When footsteps caught (Y/n)'s attention she quickly closed the file and took a few steps away, turning herself to face the bookcase up against the wall behind the door to hide what she had just witnessed. His name kept rattling around in her head and the list of his crimes were so horrid and long but it shocked (Y/n) that they had all the information of his crimes but he was hardly punished for any of them. He certainly got away with a lot.

This man killed people, he hurt whoever he liked, he threatened and blackmailed them to carry on doing what he wanted and he evaded the police at every turn. His life was something (Y/n) could barely comprehend or imagine after the sheltered life she had lived and the way she had been brought up. (Y/n) couldn't see how someone could ever turn out like that.

He was the total opposite of her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fresh air hit (Y/n) like a wave rolling over the sand, it consumed her lungs until she felt like they were going to explode. The church was a sanctuary for many, it was a safe place to sit or hide or confess or just try and wait for a premonition or a sign. When (Y/n) was little, the church was a castle she wanted to explore but at the same time was far too afraid to drift from the alter or stand from the aisles once she was sat down.

There was never any need for (Y/n) to confess, she hadn't any crimes or worries weighing down on her for that. She didn't need sanctuary nor a safe place and she wasn't waiting for a sign. The church wasn't a hiding place or a second home to (Y/n) but it was her habitat for an hour every Sunday and for a while during the week when need be.

Every Sunday, eleven o'clock without fail, (Y/n) could be found in the second row on the left hand side, listening to her father recollecting a different story from the bible, giving his thoughts about a certain topic in a speech and reciting hymn numbers to them all to sing. Sunday sermons were an instinct and a habit ever since (Y/n) had been born, it was her way of life but sometimes she still felt that she didn't truly understand or appreciate it enough. On days when the world was tough on her, the sermons were a blessing. On days when she wanted to explore or find herself or do something, they were a drag that she couldn't escape from.

But today her mind wasn't able to focus on what her father was saying and she knew he noticed she wasn't singing along with all the hymns either. Being able to escape the beacon that was the church and feel the fresh air made (Y/n) feel somewhat faint after being in the musty air of the church that was suffocating.

Smoothing down her usual baby blue dress that she wore to church, (Y/n) walked over to the willow tree in the church ground and perched herself on the brick wall separating the grass verge from the pavement.

Her father would still be tidying up, collecting the papers and any donations, then he had to tidy the alter and get changed which took roughly twenty minutes that (Y/n)'s mother spent gossiping with friends. Joe was at work so he wasn't here for (Y/n) to talk to and Cora was yapping away with her friends. When everyone was ready, they went back home and had their usual Sunday lunch, and then (Y/n) helped her mother make Sunday dinner.

Sunday's were the most calming day of the week but they did drag and they made (Y/n) feel uneasy but she didn't quite know why.

(Y/n) let her eyes wander her surroundings, she could see her house from here. With her father being the Reverend, they automatically had a house as close to the church as they could manage and that was daunting to (Y/n), growing up so close to a place of worship that everyone said was a house of God. Like God really lived there and any sin she committed, any act she made, would be seen and judged by the being himself.

A shudder ran down her spine at the thought and her hand absentmindedly reached up to touch the small golden cross pendant hanging around her neck. Just as her hand touched the pendant, something caught her eye and her head leaned to the side, her eyes narrowing to focus on what moved in the corner of her vision.

It was him.

It was the man Joe was so close to catching, the one he was hell bent on taking to court and locking away in prison and throwing away the key. It was the man who had committed unspeakable crimes that haunted Joe in the middle of the night.

She was sure her face didn't resemble any panic or fear but she had caught his eye, maybe with the way she was staring in his direction. It felt like the world had slowed down around her and she watched him approach her in slow motion.

(Y/n) could hear his dark black shoes clicking against the pavement like horse shoes clobbering on the cobbles. He wore a plain white cotton shirt that covered his shoulders but exposed the rest of his arms to her view and he wore brown trousers with matching chocolate brown braces secured on his shoulders. He had a symbol on his right arm that didn't make any kind of shape that (Y/n) was familiar with yet it enticed her vision so much. He had Roman numerals, one on each knuckle on his right hand but (Y/n) couldn't see what numbers they represented.

The stranger- the killer, has shorter hair than he did in the picture she had seen in Joe's file, his hair was sticking up but it curled very slightly at the ends near his forehead. His green eyes were sparkling but the light caught the darkness of his pupils rather than the colour of his iris'. And his lips, (Y/n) had never seen lips that were such a dark shade of red with swirls of pink etched into the middle.

The way she seemed to be staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers made him grin and his smile was not normal. It wasn't sinister or crooked like a murder's smile should be, but it wasn't as kind or concerning or genuine as a humble man's should be. His smile was sweet, it was sickly sweet like chocolate with far too much sugar added into the mix. He was the cat that was eyeing up the cream.

How could such a dashing and seemingly respectable man be a killer?

"Hello." His voice was calming like the sound of the sea calmly lapping at the shore or at the sides of boats it was guiding to their destinations.

"Ben."

As soon as the name passed through her lips, (Y/n) bunched her hand into the hem of her dress, feeling like she had just spilled a secret to someone who should not find it out. She surprised the man towering over her, the smile didn't fade from his lips but there was a look of caution in his eyes as he wondered how she could know his name when they had never met before. He would remember a pretty face like hers.

"Now I'm very sure that if we met, I'd remember a lovely lady like yourself... so how do you know my name?" Ben stuffed his hands into his pockets, leaning his side against the brick wall the girl was sitting on, looking at him like she had just hurt him or told some kind of revelation to him.

His words were kind and his tone was reassuring, but there was something behind his voice and his carefully chosen words that made (Y/n) cautious. It was like he was throwing her a lifeline and she had to take it, she couldn't go against him or lie. She felt like she was trapped and he was offering her a way out... or maybe he was putting her into the trap.

"I... um, I think my brother knows you."

What was she doing? She was conversing with a criminal- a murderer, no less. If Joe was here at church right now and he saw this he would scold (Y/n) until she had third degree burns. He would be yelling at Ben to step away from his baby sister, he would find a means to arrest him right here, right now. If (Y/n)'s mother or even her sister saw her talking to a stranger they would be wary and tell her off.

But somehow, (Y/n) couldn't find it in herself to walk away.

"Does he now, who is he? I should ask him why he never told me he had a sister." (Y/n) couldn't fathom why he was talking to her, he was leaning so close to her so casually like it was nothing, he was smiling at her like she was the only person here worth talking to. He was taking some kind of interest in her when he had no need. How could this man be a murderer?

"I should go... h-he won't like me talking to you." (Y/n) tipped her head down to face her shoes, biting her lip so hard she could feel blood.

What was happening to her? Here she was, talking to a murderer without feeling afraid of him, instead she felt pulled to him, intrigued by him and fascinated, wanting to get closer. Yet when she tried to do the right thing and force herself to push him away, she ended up sounding like the child everyone was making her out to be.

(Y/n) wanted to be seen as a grown up, she was eighteen, she could go out and drink, she could drive, when she had the money she wanted to get her own place to live just like Joe. She wanted to meet people and talk to them without supervision or being told it was wrong or she was too young. (Y/n) wanted to make her own choices, she wanted to have a boyfriend and go out and do what she pleased without her family telling her what to do.

"What's so bad about me, lovely lady? Do you have to run everything past this brother of yours, or can you bend the rules just a little, for me?" Ben ducked his head down until he could look at (Y/n) properly since her head was bowed down.

His gentle yet somewhat cheeky smile made (Y/n)'s heart jump and when she lifted her head to look up at him, her breathing stopped when his thumb reached out to smudge away the blood on her lower lip.

"He's a policeman, officer (Y/l/n). But I guess he doesn't have to know everything."

(Y/n) could see the realisation dawn on Ben's face showing that he must have had quite a few run-ins with Joe. But instead of Ben retreating, pulling away or even becoming angry or hostile now that he knew who she was related to, he simply smiled. It didn't seem to bother him that (Y/n) was related to an officer trying to get him put in prison. A small part of (Y/n) wondered why Ben wasn't leaving, she could be trying to get information on him for all he knew, but then again, Ben had been the one to approach her.

"Does this lovely lady have a name?" Ben watched the way (Y/n) looked behind them at the church and the sea of people that were hovering around like bees. She was checking no one was watching or noticing. Stuffing his hand into his pocket, Ben pulled out a cigarette and a deep red lighter. He placed the smoke between his lips before motioning to the lighter. "Do you mind?"

(Y/n) noticed how he could speak almost perfectly despite the cigarette between his lips. Her head nodded to confirm that it was fine if he smoked around her, she had friends who smoked but had never had the privilege herself, her parents deemed it was not a habit she should pick up and so she never did.

When she watched the smoke pass through his lips and the way his perfectly round lips moulded around the stub of the cigarette, (Y/n) almost lost herself in thought until his head dipped down to look at her better again and he smiled around the cigarette.

"(Y/n)..."

"Do you wanna try it? I won't tell him if you won't." For a moment, Ben could see his words confused (Y/n) until he removed the smoke from his lips and held it out towards her. He could see the way she was watching him take drags and bite the end between his teeth, she was wide-eyed and enamoured by such a trivial habit. He could also see she thought he meant Joe for a moment until his eyes darted upwards and showed he meant he wouldn't tell 'the man upstairs', he wouldn't tell God if she didn't in case she wasn't smoking in fear it would be a sin.

(Y/n) flitted her eyes between the cigarette and Ben until he cracked a grin when he understood. He was hunching his shoulders over and leaning his head down so they could be level but she knew if she stood up, she would be even smaller than he was. Ben put the cigarette back to his lips and inhaled deeply, breathing the smoke into the air before he held it out to her.

His eyes watched the people around the church like he was keeping watch and they were committing a crime.

She gingerly took the bad habit from his fingers, trying to hold it between her thumb and index finger in the same way he did before she brought it to her lips. (Y/n) didn't take a long drag, just inhaled a small amount and tried to hold it in her lungs. She could feel the nicotine and smoke battling around in her lungs for the first time and it made her chest shiver in wonder. When she breathed the smoke into the air, her lungs quivered and she coughed quietly but still smiled all the same.

It wasn't as bad as her mother always made it out to be, it didn't even burn her lungs like she thought it would.

"Thanks." (Y/n) breathed quietly as she handed the smoke back over to Ben who took it gratefully, grinning like the Cheshire cat when he realised a small lipstick stain was left at the end.

When the growing chatter reached her ears, (Y/n) turned her head to look over her shoulder and noticed that her mother was getting ready to go inside the church again. That meant her father would be ready to go home in a minute. She couldn't help the sigh that passed through her lips when she realised she would have to go back home to a boring Sunday lunch, then prepare for a boring Sunday afternoon and evening, just like every other week that had happened all her life.

"Why the long face, doll?"

"I need to go home in a minute."  (Y/n)'s tone told Ben that she didn't want to go and that made a sense of pride swell in his chest. She was talking to a complete stranger and he guessed she knew he wasn't the saint she should be looking for, and she didn't want to leave.

"Well, I'll be walking past this spot tomorrow at one o'clock if you think you can disappear for a while."

"Disappear, with you? I don't know if that would be wise, I mean, I've heard things." (Y/n) looked up at Ben through her lashes, letting a small smile form on her lips when he seemed to think she was being serious. It was an offer she knew she wouldn't refuse, no matter how badly her mind was telling her that it wasn't a good idea to fraternise with the man her brother was determined to arrest.

If Joe got his way, this would end badly for her and Ben- if anything even came of this. But if Joe found out, (Y/n) would face more than a lashing from her brother for this, her whole family would be against her.

But this was (Y/n)'s life, she could take the risk.

"Don't believe everything you hear about me, doll." The words were whispered against the shell of her ear and Ben could feel her shivering against him.

A gasp escaped (Y/n)'s lips when she felt the lightest, gentlest of kisses pressing against the junction between her neck and jaw so light that it felt like butterfly wings caressing her skin. (Y/n) had never been kissed there before- Hell, she'd never been kissed at all, but something about the feeling was intoxicating. One moment the butterfly wings were fluttering against her and the next they were gone, just like that. Her eyes were as wide as planets as they followed Ben, watching him pull away from her with a grin that made her stomach flip before he started walking past her.

"Until tomorrow."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #imagine #BoRhap #joe mazzello #joe mazello imagine #murderer! ben #shes a good girl

[iamartemisday]

Pepperony Week Day Seven- AU

A/N: This will be a Nanny AU. Hope you enjoy and I hope you all had an amazing Pepperony Week!

**

Everyone hits rock bottom sometime.

For Pepper Potts, rock bottom was standing on the porch of an Upper East Side Manhattan townhouse ready to hock cheap makeup products to another bored housewife. Either that or get the door slammed in her face. Currently, she had a three to ten ratio.

"This is why you don't take a job in your cheating boyfriend's law office," she told herself again, just in case she didn't get the message the other six thousand times. "This is also why you don't date cheaters."

She knocked on the door and listened for footsteps. A tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes answered. He was dressed in what she'd come to find was a standard butler uniform. Great. One more door in the face.

"Hello," Pepper said, her well-rehearsed sales pitch ready to go. "My name is Virginia Potts, and-"

"Yes, we've been expecting you. Right this way, please." The butler stood aside, motioning for Pepper to come in.

She gripped the make-up case tighter, blinking stupidly for a moment as she processed the wide expanse of white marble interior and the well-dressed British man expectantly watching her.

"Uh… okay." There was a script for this, but she'd only skimmed it.

Entering the home was like walking into a cave. As Pepper took in the winding staircase and cathedral ceiling, she felt like going back outside just to check that the house wasn't bigger on the inside. Through one doorway was a dining room with a table built for twelve and an elegant chandelier. The living room was to the left. A boy sat on an onyx couch by the fireplace. It crackled merrily even though it was early August. The flow of central air didn't seem to be coming from a vent. At least, not one Pepper could see.

As she marveled at the sheer scope of this fairy tale dream home, the boy glanced up from his book. "Who's this?"

His tone wasn't rude, but it wasn't warm either. Pepper's first impression of the boy was aloofness, a common trait among teenagers if she remembered correctly.

"This is Virginia Potts, Harley," the butler said. "She's here to interview for the nanny position."

He glanced at Pepper to confirm. As she was now occupied with a decorative mirror on the wall which she was sure she'd seen in a movie somewhere, all she could do was nod her head. She barely heard the exchange anyway.

"I'll let Mr. Stark know you've arrived," he said, gliding down the hall as graceful as a gazelle. "If you'll wait one moment please."

There were no chairs anywhere except in the living room. The boy had returned to his book and didn't acknowledge Pepper when she stepped over the threshold onto the lushly carpeted floor. She didn't know if she should say something, or if she should even sit. If her grandma was here she'd coat this whole room in plastic covering and then never set foot in it again.

A second boy raced down the stairs, reaching the sixth step and jumping to the bottom. "Harley! I got it working. Now we can-" He stopped short of running into Pepper. In her heels, she was half a head taller than him, but he looked no younger than the boy on the couch. He also looked like he'd just broken about fifty rules. "Uh… sorry. I didn't know we had company."

"She's the new nanny Dad's going to hire to keep track of us," said the boy on the couch. "Because it's not like we're teenagers who can take care of ourselves. No, just have to get us a handler."

"Maybe he's still mad about the alpaca thing," the second boy mused.

The boy on the couch scoffed. "He was just pissed that we thought of it first. If anything it was the riverboat thing at the Summer gala last year."

As they ran through a list of unintelligible incidents which might have led them to this point, Pepper replayed the word 'nanny' in her head a few hundred times. Try as she might, it never sounded like anything else.

A door opened and a man stepped out. He wore an expensive suit, yellow-tinted sunglasses, and a thousand-watt grin made for magazine covers. "Good morning, you must be the new applicant Jarvis was telling me about."

Pepper shook his hand, trying to act as though he was a supervisor at the makeup company and not Tony Stark. The actual literal Tony Stark. Ridiculously rich genius inventor all of her friends had at the top of their celebrity crush lists. The last time she saw his face, he was on Ellen. Now he was talking to her.

"Hi, I'm Pepper," she said, forgoing all formalities. "It's… nice to meet you, Mr. Stark."

He grinned wider. "My reputation precedes me. Awesome. Let's talk." The doorbell rang. Jarvis approached but Tony stopped him with a hand. " That will be my daughter and her escort. Give me one second Ms. Pepper."

"Ms. Potts," she said, but he didn't appear to have heard. He opened the door and a pale young girl with a bright red pixie cut and a dark purple hoodie stood sullenly at the entrance. With her was a police officer.

"She was tagging dumpsters," the officer said, arms crossed.

Tony pursed his lips. "Thought she'd graduated to bridges. Guess I was wrong."

"That's the third time this month, Mr. Stark. Any more and I will have no choice but to arrest her."

"Hey now, let's not use the 'A' word in front of impressionable children, huh?" Tony stepped aside as the girl stomped past him. "This is a phase and she'll grow out of it. Now I'm sure you have lots of grocery store robberies to stop and kittens to rescue from trees, so I'll just let you go."

"I'm serious, Mr. Stark. Keep her in line."

"I assure you, no child of mine would ever cut in line. See you later, Stan." He shut the door and locked it. Pepper thought she heard a beep like a computer booting up. "Okay, that was exciting. Let me introduce you to your potential charges-to-be. Over there is Harley-"

The boy on the couch raised a hand but didn't wave.

"-this right here is Peter-"

"Nice to meet you," he said, his smile lighting up his face in such a way, Pepper had to resist hugging him.

"-and this bundle of sunshine is Nebula. Hey Neb, say hi to Ms. Pepper."

The girl was already halfway up the stairs with no signs of stopping. She mumbled a quick, "hello Ms. Pepper," and then she was gone.

"Don't mind her. It's a teenage thing. She'll write a few goth poems and be right as rain by tomorrow." Despite his dismissive tone, his eyes lingered on the top of the steps, as if he thought maybe she'd come back down. When she didn't, he rolled his shoulders and sighed. "Okay, let's go talk in my office."

Pepper followed him down the hall past a number of doors until they reached one hanging open. Inside was a room full of metal parts with bookshelves lining every wall. A couch and coffee table added a homey feel and by the windows was Tony's desk. A man and a woman stood by it. The man was tall and lean with sharp, handsome features. The woman petite and skinny, with a face that would make most men look twice.

"Hey guys, you mind if we take a break?" Tony sat in his plushy desk chair, spinning it once for good measure and propping his feet up. "Need to do a job interview. Ms. Pepper, allow me to introduce Loki Odinson, my business partner, and Dr. Jane Foster, our favorite benefactee."

The man, Loki, nodded politely but had nothing to say. Dr. Foster, by contrast, smiled and took Pepper's hand. She was overall quite personable and Pepper didn't miss the way Loki kept looking at her.

"I can bring you more information about the project tomorrow, Tony," Dr. Foster said. "I think this might be the big one."

Loki chuckled. "Yes, with a little hard work and elbow grease you'll finally defeat those baking soda volcanoes at the science fair."

Dr. Foster blew air out her nose. "Gee, thanks. Anyway, I need to head out. Have to be at the university in an hour to discuss my lecture and you know what Manhattan traffic is like this time of day."

"Be careful you don't get stepped on," said Loki.

"Don't mind them," Tony fake whispered as they glared at each other all the way out the door. "They act like they hate each other, but it's really just unresolved sexual tension. Pretty soon they'll snap and fuck on my desk or something."

"I can hear you," Dr. Foster shouted.

"That's good. Use a condom," Tony shouted back. He took his feet down and laced his fingers together, slipping into business mode like it was a second skin. "Okie Doke. I assume you have a resume somewhere in that makeup kit."

As it happened, she did. One never knew when they'd pass an office building with a help wanted sign in the window. Pepper had learned long ago to always be prepared for anything, and she hadn't made an exception here. Opening the case she whipped out a folder full of crisp white linen pages listing all the qualities that would make her an exceptional businesswoman. She handed it to Mr. Stark, hoping it could get her a job in childcare.

"Hmmm…" he rubbed his chin as his eyes raked across the page. "Mmm. You're in grad school. Working on your thesis, I see."

"It's a process. I'm almost done, but you know… one day at a time."

"Business management." Mr. Stark dropped the page. "I guess you could say raising a family is like running a business in a way. Communication and cooperation are key. We've all got to work together and respect each other."

"Of course," she said.

"We can't be afraid to let our colleagues know when they've made a mistake or are getting ready to set off a homemade explosive in the house."

"Yes sir," Pepper nodded. "I mean… what?"

She caught a whiff of the air. Ashy like something burning. A trail of gray smoke floated down the hall. There was a popping sound and one of the boys cursed. Pepper crossed the hall to find Peter on his knees tinkering with a miniature rocket booster. Said rocket was currently cradled in Harley's arms.

"Why don't these figures ever add up," Peter groaned, typing furiously.

"Did you carry the one?"

"Yes, for the hundredth time. I always carry the one."

Pepper looked to Mr. Stark, mouth wide. He maintained total serenity and motioned for her to step up. At first, she wanted to scream. He was the parent, not her. It was his job to stop them.

Except it would also be the nanny's job, and she was the nanny.

'I knew I should've taken the west end,' she thought, shuffling forward on uncertain feet. Neither boy acknowledged her until the toe of her shoe bumped their device. "Hey guys, you can't set that off in the house."

"Have you checked telemetry?" Harley asked Peter as if no one else had spoken.

"Everything's running normally. If I could just get this thruster to work."

"Excuse me," Pepper, kneeling to Peter's level. "Do you really think it's a good idea to launch a rocket indoors?"

"It's not dangerous," said Harley, rolling his eyes.

"It's just supposed to fly into the kitchen out the window and land in the yard," Peter explained. "We've calculated the distance based on the positioning of the booster and triple checked our math. There's no possible way this could go wrong."

"Well as long as the fuel doesn't leak out, but that probably won't happen," Harley interjected. "I'd say we have about a ninety-seven to ninety-eight chance of success."

Peter grinned innocently, trying his best to look cute and unthreatening. To his credit, he was good at activating those motherly instincts, but he was about seven years too old for it to stick.

"Okay, how about we try this another time?" Pepper pushed the booster into the wall, well of course for its intended trajectory. "Maybe out in the park would be better."

"It was made for this house," said Harley.

"The whole point is to get it out that window," Peter argued.

"And what if you miss and break something?"

"Dad won't mind. Right, Dad?"

Harley shot his father a pleading look, and to Pepper's consternation, Mr. Stark did not immediately shoot him down and send him to his room. He had a hand on his chin and seemed to actually be considering it.

"I don't know. Maybe it'll work." He eyeballed Pepper. "You sure they can't do it?"

There was that grin again. Either he really was screwing with her or her expression was just that hilarious.

"Are you kidding me?" she snapped, forgetting for a moment that she was talking to a guy rich and powerful enough to destroy her life with a snap of his fingers. That was the other thing about hitting rock bottom: you just plain stopped giving a shit. "They could destroy this whole house! Burn everything to the ground. They are not shooting that damn rocket in here." She rounded on Harley, who took a step back in surprise. "Give me the rocket."

He held it tight to his chest. "It's mine. I spent weeks working on it."

"Then you should've gone outside. Give it to me now."

"No!"

"Harley. Now!"

The moment seemed to drag on for hours. Harley stared defiantly at Pepper and she stared back. If he thought his scrawny teenage self would cow her, he should've spent a night babysitting her sister's kids. After that, there wasn't a child in the world who could bring Virginia Potts to her knees.

After a while, he seemed to realize that. Even with Peter offering silent but steady encouragement, his stance had weakened and his grip on the rocket's base had grown slack. Slowly he unfurled his arms. The rocket was heavier than Pepper expected and appeared to be full of liquid. Whatever it was, she didn't want to know.

"Let's go, Peter," Harley grumbled.

The two boys scurried upstairs without another word. Doors slammed and that was the end of it. Pepper let out a sigh which was cut short as she remembered the children's father standing right behind her.

'You just told off a pair of kids you just met like you're their mother,' her inner voice said. 'Are you ready for a tidal wave of pissed off entitled rich parent crap? Because you're about to get it.'

Except when Pepper turned to face the music, Mr. Stark was not scowling. In fact, he wasn't angry at all.

He was smiling.

And then he clapped.

No, he was full-on applauding her.

"Perfect," he said, that world-famous grin returning with a vengeance. "Absolutely stellar! You are exactly what I need, Pep!"

Pepper held her breath, but it never came. "Y-you're not mad?"

"Mad?" Tony laughed. "How could I be mad? What do you think I need around here, a yes man who will roll over and let my kids do whatever they want? Or someone to be, y'know, responsible and mature? And tell them 'no' when they have to?"

"I…" Pepper swallowed. "Family is built on cooperation, right?"

"Exactly!" Tony put an arm around her and led her back to his office. "Now, if I haven't made it clear, you're hired. Let's go discuss moving you in and the six-figure yearly salary I'm going to pay you."

"Well, I still have a few months left on my lease," Pepper said. "I guess I could break it, but I'd really rather… I'm sorry, six-figure salary?"

"Uh-huh," Tony spun and struck a pose against the wall. "I compensate my nannies very well for dealing with my children's antics. Let me make it clear, they're not troubled. They're all good kids at heart, but they're smart. Like, really smart. The trick is to always stay one step ahead of them. Are you up for it, Ms. Pepper? Or would you rather go back to selling makeup door to door?"

Her pink, heart-shaped makeup case stared at her from the desk inside, as if issuing a challenge. Pepper refused to look at it. Inanimate object or no, she'd never give it the satisfaction. "Yes sir, I am."

Tony pumped a fist. "Great. Let's talk contracts. Also, feel free to fall madly in love with me and have a whirlwind romance that ends with you properly joining the family."

Pepper gawked at him, a laugh bursting forth. "That is not going to happen, Mr. Stark."

He shrugged. "It might."

"It won't."

"But it might."

"But it won't."

He smirked at her but didn't respond. The next hour was all business with a few well-intentioned barbs thrown in. As Pepper signed and initialed a dozen pages, she wondered just which kind of insanity she was getting herself into.

Either way, things were finally looking up.

#Pepperony #pepperony week #pepperonyweek19 #Pepper Potts #Tony Stark #AU

[softforcal]

listen i'm an absolute hoe for your headcanons and maybe one of a slytherin!ash and hufflepuff!reader? (as hufflepuff as ashton is that boy is a fucking slytherin to the core i swear)

Slytherin!Ashton x Hufflepuff!Reader

-bae. i love you so much. you are such a fucking queen. like your blog really inspired me to create mine so i just want to say like, im dying that you trusted me enough to send this request and hopefully do it justice

-you are bae

-okay. lets go then :)

-so you’re a Hufflepuff and it’s funny because all the girls in your house have a thing for Ashton because he’s this kind of odd Slyther-puff mixture

-like he’s super sweet and funny and charming and definitely has Puff traits

-but at the same time this guy is loyal as fuck to his friends and he can be pretty sarcastic and intimidating when he needs to be, plus he’s a mischievous little fuck so there’s that too

-and he definitely has this whole bad boy vibe

-then there’s the whole thing about him being an absolute savage on the Quidditch Pitch

-like, he has a reputation for being such a brutal, conniving, ambitious, Quidditch mastermind and anyone who has to play against him knows that he will 100% hit a ball your direction and not worry about hurting you if it means getting his team a victory

-and you? well you’re just a little Hufflepuff squish

-so you’ve been going to school together for a few years, you’ve had similar classes and you’ve definitely noticed Ashton a lot, he’s pretty good friends with your friend Hufflepuff!Calum

-Ash also hangs out with Slytherin!Michael and Gryffindor!Luke

-those four are always getting in trouble because Ashton has some sort of plan and then Luke wants to do it because he’s the ‘brave Gryffindor’ and Calum always comes back laughing his ass off about the whole thing and sharing the details

-one day you’re in a hallway studying when Ashton runs past you, then stops, turns around and sits down on the floor next to you, “i need you to pretend we’re studying.” he states

-you’re about to ask what he means when Filch comes hobbling down the hall, his eyes fixed on Ashton, “what do you think you’re doing?” Filch asks

-”studying with Y/N.” Ashton says

-Filch looks to you and you take a breath before saying “it’s true. we’ve been studying.”

-Filch glares, “mark my works Irwin, i will catch you next time.”

-as soon as Filch is gone you turn to Ashton and he’s just like “so what are you studying anyways?”

-you give him the book to look at and his eyes skim over it, he notices you looking at him and he grins, “i enchanted one of his dust pans to not be able to pick up dust.” Ashton explains, “thats why he’s mad.”

-Ashton hands you the book back and stands, “anyways, thanks for the save, see you around.”

-you watch him go and are still kinda flustered, i mean, he just coerced you into helping him get away with Mischief. now you know why Calum is always covering for Ashton

-your day continues and when its over you head to the Hufflepuff common room, Cal is there and grins when he sees you “there you are! hows it feel being bad?” he teases

-you get a little flustered, “i’m not bad-”

-”Ash says otherwise.” Cal grins

-your heart is pounding like out of your chest, “what did he say?” you squeak

-”aw, nothing bad, i’m just playing.” Cal assures you, “Ash just said you looked really cute all flustered and lying to Filch.”

-Ashton fucking Irwin called you cute?

-yeah, your little Hufflepuff heart can’t handle it

-”don’t tell Ash i told you though.” Calum says

-”i wont.” you say before scurrying away

-not being able to sleep that night because wtf, Ashton thinks you’re cute

-going for breakfast the next morning and Cal sits down next to you, you’re shocked when Ashton sits down across from you

-like Ash has sat at the Hufflepuff table before with Cal, usually their group sits either at Slytherin or Hufflepuff (never Gryffindor) and usually when he sits at the Hufflepuff table all the girls swoon around the group of gorgeous guys

-and now he’s sitting across from you

-”up for another adventure?” Ash grins at you

-”we can’t drag her into this again Ash.” Cal sighs, “she’s too innocent.”

-”i bet she has a dirty side, don’t you Y/N?” Ashton grins at you

-you die inside because how the fuck is this even happening

-”stop picking on Hufflepuffs.” Slytherin!Michael says as he sits down next to Ashton, “you’re going to give one of these girls a fucking heart attack some day.”

-Ashton rolls his eyes but is just like, “so, Ravenclaw vs Slytherin Quidditch match this weekend, you guys coming?”

-and its an odd question, because of course Michael is going (he’s the announcer) and Calum always goes… so the question is more directed towards you? but he’s trying to be nonchalant about it?

-of course his friends don’t play along because they both turn to look at you

-”i think i have school work-” you begin to say

-Ashton laughs, “wow, okay, didn’t realize Hufflepuffs could be so harsh.”

-you try to fix your mistake but they all are laughing

-”she would rather do homework than watch you play mate, that’s sad.” Michael is giggling

-they change the topic and conversation continues, it’s mostly them talking to each other about stuff that they’ve done, Ashton explains the incident the day before, it’s just good conversation and then the breakfast is done and you all get up to head to class

-”hey, Y/N, wait up.” Ashton says, catching up to you, “we have class together.” he states

-you know that but you had no idea he’s even noticed that this is one of the classes you share, he usually sits in the back with the other Slytherins while you’re somewhere in the middle with the Hufflepuffs

-”what can i do to convince you to come to the game?” Ashton says as the two of you walk to class

-”i’m really sorry if it seemed like i don’t think its interesting to watch you play-” you begin to apologize again

-Ashton waves his hand, “don’t worry about it, what will make you come?”

-”i’m sure you have enough Hufflepuff fans coming already-”

-”so? i want you there.” he states.

-wow, he is going for it. you’ve never had a Slytherin chase after you before but now the stories about Slytherins who are ambitious and do whatever they can to get what they want are true

-”i guess i can make time-” you sigh

-”great.” he grins as the two of you enter class

-you’re about to go to your regular seat but Ash grabs your hand, “nah, you’re sitting with me today.”

-and he leads you to the general Slytherin area while they all stare at you and your Hufflepuff friends watch with big eyes

-it’s the back corner of the class

-everyone knows Ashton always sits in the back corner because he usually slacks off in class or sleeps (word is that he has a different girl every night and thats why he never gets any sleep but you are really starting to doubt that rumour)

-so you follow him to the back of the class, “i’m not taking someone else’s seat am i?” you ask awkwardly

-”Luke usually sits here but he’s sick today.” Ashton answers

-so Ashton has always been flirty with Hufflepuffs, hell he has a whole Hufflepuff fan club of girls who love him, but he never really sits with any of them except Calum

-and yet there you are

-you see girls from his fan club looking at you

-and of course the Slytherin girls are giving you the evil eye as well because Ashton is big news

-you’re trying to pay attention to the teacher and Ashton is kinda just sitting there looking bored

-he tries to talk to you a few times but you make it really obvious that you have to pay attention

-”Classic Hufflepuff.”

-finally you’re just like “yes Ashton, i am Hufflepuff, i pay attention in class and i don’t break the rules, i like getting school work done and yes, if that means missing a Quidditch game, then i do, now if you would please stop distracting me.”

-his eyes kinda widen and he laughs a little but leans back in his chair and doesn’t say anything for the rest of class

-you can’t believe you snapped at him?

-is his Slytherin-ness rubbing off on you already?

-lied to Filch and now you’re snapping at people?

-class ends and you immediately turn to apologize to Ashton and he just laughs, “stop apologizing so much, you’re right. you are a Hufflepuff and i need to respect that.”

-”you’re not mad at me?” you ask nervously as the two of you leave the class

-he shakes his head, “no, besides,” he does that super sweet thing were the guy kinda grabs your cheek you know? “you’re cute when your angry.”

-and then he’s turning and going to his class and you’re standing there shooketh

-classes continue and your last class is also with Ashton, you enter the room and he’s already in the back so you take your seat in the middle

-you’re surprised when someone sits next to you and you turn to see Ashton, he doesn’t look at you though, just looks towards the board where the homework is written down and he begins to scribble it onto a piece of paper

-”what are you doing?” you ask

-”i’m writing down the homework.” he answers

-before you can say anything else, class starts.

-he doesn’t interrupt you at all. in fact, he actually is taking notes and being a good student?

-more shook

-class ends and Ashton turns to you, “i’m thirsty.” he states, “are you thirsty?”

-being kinda confused for a moment because Slytherin’s have been known to say kinda odd shit that is secretly sexual or sometimes talk in weird code and thirsty might mean dtf but you don’t know

-Ashton can see that you’re trying to figure out what he’s saying

-”by thirsty i mean actually thirsty, like, do you want to go get a Butterbeer?” he clarifies

-”um yeah, sure.” you say, laughing that he needed to clarify the whole thing

-so the two of you begin to walk down to the Three Broomsticks

-he tells you about this new secret passage he found and how it makes it easier to get to some classes, he talks about Quidditch for a bit, he talks about Michael almost getting caught in a prank the other day and how he had to step in and protect him because Slytherin’s are loyal

-”i honestly didn’t expect you to help me out with Filch.” he states, “lying out of loyalty is more of a Slytherin thing so i didn’t expect you to lie for me. but you did. and i wanted to say thanks again. i appreciate it.”

-”no problem, it was just a little white lie.” you grin

-continuing to talk until you get drinks then just hanging out and having a good time, walking back to the school and Ashton drops you off at your common room, saying hi to Cal as you get eye-murdered by some Hufflepuff girls, then he leaves

-”so you and Ashton.” Cal grins

-practically dying on Calum’s shoulder because you’re finally able to let out all your anxiety and be super wtf about your whole day being insane

-”not going to lie Y/N, always thought you’d end up with a Hufflepuff but Ashton’s a nice guy, for a Slytherin.” Calum shrugs

-the week continues and Ashton sits with you in all the classes you have together, something Luke was not a fan of when he came back from being sick

-Luke coming back and realizes Ashton is flirting with a Hufflepuff and suddenly Luke is roasting the shit out of Ashton

-”so you and a puff?” Luke grins, “never saw that coming.”

-”i’m not surprised,” Michael laughs, “Ash and Cal have been practically married for years.”

-”it’s not Ashton’s fault he has a soft spot for Hufflepuffs.” Cal shrugs

-so it’s game day and at breakfast you’re sitting with all four of them, something thats become almost normal for the five of you

-Ash has to leave early for warm up but before he goes he turns to you, “here, a final incentive for you to come to the game.” he states, wrapping his green scarf around your neck

-”great, now you’re guilt tripping the poor Puff.” Luke laughs

-Ashton rolls his eyes and leaves

-you are wearing Ashton fucking Irwin’s green scarf

-it dawns on you after a little while that usually only girlfriends wear scarves

-the looks of jealousy from other girls are insane

-going to the game and Ashton is fucking gorgeous as a beater, lets be serious

-Slytherin wins and the four of you go down to the pitch to congratulate Ashton  

-as you go in for a hug he grabs your face and kisses you while his friends all whistle

-pulling away a flustered mess because holy shit

-he just thinks you’re the cutest fucking thing all flustered

-he just loves seeing you flustered

-no other house gets as flustered as Hufflepuffs do and you are the cutest flustered little Puff he’s ever seen

-he’s always felt protective of Hufflepuffs but with you it was almost instant, from the first time he saw the look of panic when you realized you had to lie to save him from Filch, but then you had?

-yeah he’d known it since that moment that the only Slytherin he ever wanted corrupting you, was him

-”you’re so cute.” he says, looking down at you as you attempt to hide your flustered Hufflepuff self against his chest

-”sorry i’m so flustered.” you laugh

-he lets out the cutest giggle and is just like “you’re perfect.”

-and thus begins the relationship

-this was such a long build up i am so sorry. wanted that semi-slow burn for this one because this is such a cute pairing

-and Hufflepuffs be flustered ya’ll

-after that you two are practically a couple

-it’s not official

-but like, you go on super cute dates where his one goal is to make you smile so much your face hurts, and get so flustered you have to hide against his chest, he loves that

-lots of hugs

-he’s such a softy for you

-and he’s loyal as fuck. so like. he doesn’t even look at other girls anymore

-and people are shook

-little corruptions

-like him showing you a secret passage to get to class early

-but of course this boy would rather make out with you in said secret passage, so actually arriving to class slightly late

-you getting all flustered because you’re late and he just giggles at how cute you are

-secret passages definitely being a thing for you two

-because the fact that the two of you probably shouldn’t be in the secret passage gets your heart racing even more than the gorgeous boy kissing you, so together? your heart is practically leaping out of your chest

-Ashton has been best friends with Hufflepuff!Cal for ages so he’s already welcome in the Hufflepuff common room and he knows his way around so people seeing him there isn’t an odd thing

-but it still gets your heart racing to try to sneak him up to your room

-he’s so chill with it and laughs at how sneaky you try to be about it

-he just thinks everything you do is adorable

-the first time you have sex being super sweet and loving because you’re his soft Hufflepuff and he doesn’t want to hurt or damage you

-but after the first time? if you have a kinky side he almost has a heart attack

-His sweet Hufflepuff? has a kinky side? oof

-he’d find it so fucking hot

-like Jesus Christ, seeing his normally innocent Puff get wild would definitely do things to this boy

-but you only get freaky in the bedroom

-so like, if you’re in class and he even puts his hand on your upper thigh you get all flustered and cute again and it makes him laugh

-its his little secret that you’re secretly wild behind closed doors

-he would feel so fucking honoured about that too

-he’s just so soft on you

-lots of face kissing because it makes you laugh

-yeah, your smile is his top priority

-and if anyone messes with you, Ashton will fuck them up

-wearing his scarf to games

-never missing a game after the first kiss because you’re his good luck charm

-he knows you so well

-this soft Slytherin just wants some cuddles

-so at first you had a good influence on him and paying attention in class but after a while he gets too distracted by you and likes playing with your hair instead

-and you can never study with this boy because studying always leads to sex

-Ashton coming to a study sesh to see the other guys there too and he whines because it’s obviously a tactic to get him to actually study and not just jump your bones

-and they all know it too

-Cal and Michael always groaning about the two of you because they both have to hear it about it all the time

-Luke living in a nice bliss where he gets to see the two of you being cute but thats it

-Ashton trying to teach you to be meaner to people and not apologize so much

-”and then you say ‘fuck you.’” “Ash i really don’t want to-” “come on Princess, repeat after me… ‘fuck you.’” “fuck-Ash is this really necessary? what if i just say ‘you’re mean’ that will get them for sure.”

-so much laughing because you’re such a sweetie

-the first time he hears you swear at someone his heart actually stops and he takes you to celebrate in a secret passage way ;)

-okay so this is 3000 words and i have to stop because wtf, this pairing though is just so fucking cute wtf

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin x reader #hogwarts!au #hogwarts!5sos #hogwarts!ashton irwin #hogwarts ashton irwin #au #hc #softforcal #slytherin! ashton #slytherin ashton #slytherin ashton irwin #slytherin!ashton irwin #5sos #5 seconds of summer

[snakescript]

make the devil cry | lee taeyong

pairing | lee taeyong x reader genre | light angst, smut warnings | mentions of alcohol & smoking, cursing wordcount | 15.8k 

lee taeyong, the local heartthrob, the guy every girl dreams to date, and coincidentally, the owner of the bed you might have rolled around in - more than once. yet you might be the only one who's heart he hasn't claimed.

“Another round, please!”

You turn your head around to the guy next to you as he hollers the words to the waitress that just walked past your crowded table. A simple coming right up is heard as an answer as she disappears behind the counter, and Yuta now turns your attention back to your stern face. “Oh, come on, don’t look at me like that.”

“I told you, I had enough already.” Rolling your eyes, you slump against the backrest, arms crossed over your chest. The table in front of you is littered with empty glasses, crumpled cigarettes packages and a full ashtray, an array proving the hours gone by since first entering the usual, slightly shabby bar you tend to frequent on weekends. Reaching forward, you shake the carton nearest to you, delighted when finding a cigarette left in it. “I’ve got shit to do tomorrow, I can’t be dying from the hangover of the century.”

Yuta just waves his hand as if brushing both your words and worries away, leans forward and gives you his signature full-of-tooth smile. “You aren’t even drunk right now, so stop being a cry baby. Also, that one’s on me.”

“Well, in that case….” You raise your glass to your lips and tilt it back, draining the remains in one shot, just in time for the waitress to come back with freshly filled drink on her tray. The empty glass is exchanged for a new one, and a thank you falls from your lips, directed at both the waitress and Yuta, as he is the sponsor of the liquor you are now toasting with. You don’t turn down free alcohol, that is a rule you live by.

“Need a light?,” the voice next to your other side asks, just as you put the filter in between your lips, your fingers coming to skim over your tights to see if a lighter hides in your pockets. Nodding, you turn your head towards him, tilted just a little bit so he can light up easily. The flame comes awake with a small click, its dancing reflected in his large, mesmerizing eyes. Taking a drag, you close your own eyes to turn them away from him.

“Thank you,” you grin through the smoke curling out of your mouth. Through the hazy air, Taeyong looks enthralling, but then again, he always has does. It’s one of the things that makes him stand out so much, his appearance always mentioned as a footnote following his name.

He just returns your smile, eyes naturally narrowing as the corners of his mouth move upwards. “No problem.”

His eyes linger on you - or rather on your red stained lips curled around the thin cigarette, just for a split second, but long enough for you to notice. He is back to conversing with someone else before you get to react, though. You aren’t even sure what you were going to say. And, anyway, before long you are drawn back into the debate occuring on the other end of the table, a stupid topic, one only people who have too much booze in their system (as well as loosened tongue and softened brain as a byproduct) can have. Yet, you join too easily to judge them on it, adding your own arguments on what exactly is the difference between crunchy and crispy.

But with lots of talking comes a parched throat, that is only relieved with a liquid smoothing over the roughed up spot, and so another glass loses its content and a haze starts to grow in your mind. A pleasant one, though. It’s not a everything-is-getting-too-much feeling, but rather the electric buzz that accompanies the perfect degree of drunkenness, not too gone but gone enough to let loose and have fun. Somewhere next to you Yuta reminds you of your earlier words -  I thought you weren’t going to drink much tonight? - but it doesn’t sound something like you would say, and also it’s Yuta and you never took him seriously before, anyway.

It goes by so fast, you don’t fully realize you have gone through yet another drink until you prepare to take one more sip and nothing hits your lips. You look up to search for the waitress from earlier. She is busy on the other side of the crowded bar, but it serves you just fine. You feel your bladder starting to complain and you can just order on your way back from the toilet.

Excusing yourself, you squeeze yourself past Jaehyun, who has occupied the vacant spot next to you that you swore Taeyong was sitting in just a minute ago. Yet, when you leave your little corner spot, you find him leaning against the bar talking to a small blonde you never saw before. Which isn’t unusual, you hear from others around campus. A gentleman and a damn handsome one at that, every girl wants to cop at least a look - even if they always hope for more. The few times you saw him around, there was always someone waiting to talk to him.

He doesn’t notice you passing by him, but you take the chance to steal a glance at the two of them. She’s a pretty one, you notice, sharp eyes paired with a petite nose and plump lips, which get dampened by her tongue that keeps darting out to lick over them whenever Taeyong seems to meet her eyes. You manage to stifle your laugh just about as well as she manages to hide her thirst.

Walking the way to the restroom proves a slight challenge, your legs just a little unwilling to balance quite as well as usual, and once inside the stall, the absence of the blaring music highlights the cotton state of your brain. It doesn’t veer your mind away from the wish of another drink, however. Giving yourself a smile in the bathroom mirror, you wipe away a mascara smudge and reapply the ruby color on your lips.

They haven’t moved much by the time you return, except she has gathered some (liquid) courage, each laugh that passes her lips she now accompanies with a touch of her hand on his arm. Discreet. It’s quite a spectacle to watch, her painfully obvious flirting and his collected demeanour. But you don’t plan to interrupt, so you quietly stand next to Taeyongs back at the bar, waiting for someone to take your order. You mind your own business, but the closeness lets you eavesdrop involuntarily, and you hear her saying she’ll be right back. The bartender finally spots you, and the sound of your voice as you order let’s Taeyong turn around to look at you - more specifically how you rest your weight on the counter to keep you upright.

“Hey, I don’t think that drink is such a great idea,” he says with a pleasant tone but there is something akin to concern lining his eyes. His body is turned towards you at this point, his full attention on you.

“How come?”

“I don’t know, you just seem pretty…” His lips press together for a second as he extends a hand to motion to the way you are standing not so much on your own. As serious as he sounds, there is still a hint of mirth glinting in his dark eyes. “... gone?”

You just wildly wave your hand in a motion that should communicate a nope-it’s-not-like-that-at-all, smiling widely at him. “Don’t worry, I am completely fine!”

To prove your point, you try to stand up straight, relying only on your own two feet, but you should have known it wouldn’t work as smoothly as planned, stumbling right away. His hand darts out to grab your shoulder, keeping you from falling and immediately blood rises to your cheeks in embarrassment at your failure. If at least you’d have heels to blame. “Ignore this, you did not see it.”

Your words make his face light up, a laugh stemming from deep in his belly filling the air and you wink at him in return. You faintly notice how his hand is still resting on your shoulder, but at the same moment your drink gets placed in front of you. Nodding your head towards it, you grab it and start to make your way make to the table.

“Are you sure you don’t need my help?”

“Yeah, stop worrying. I can actually handle my liquor, even if doesn’t look like it right now.”

He lets you be with a sigh at that, letting his body slump against the bar. You notice his eyes darting from you to someplace behind you, and as you turn into that direction, you find the blonde from earlier glaring daggers at you. You pay her no mind and make your way back to your table (surprisingly without stumbling or spilling your drink).

No one else seemed to have left, and you just make Jaehyun scoot over so you can place yourself next to him on the bench again. Just as you are about to join Yuta in his conversation, Jaehyun asks for your attention again.

“y/n, why did Taeyong just text me to make sure to keep you from drinking any more?”

You don’t respond but whip your head around towards the bar, only to find both Taeyong and the girl gone.

“Well, I don’t want to say I told you so,” Yeri says, leaning against the frame of your open door, one eyebrow raised at you. Her voice is the only reason you look up from where your forehead is firmly planted on the hard surface of your desk, your arms resting around it in an attempt to stop the horrible headache that renders you useless. “But I told you so. There was no way you would not get drunk.”

She ignores the noncommittal grunt that is your answer and walks over to place one of the mugs in her hand next to your head which has returned to its miserable position. The thud that the ceramic makes echoes in your skull and lets you sit up for good. A complaint is already on the tip of your tongue when the scent of coffee hits your nose, and you swallow your pride along with your annoyance and mutter a thanks as you reach out.

“Please tell me you at least got laid.”

“Um…” You avoid her eyes, picking up on of the pens scattered around you to twirl between your fingers as a distraction. Not that it helps, you can feel her accusatory stare burning into your profile that hides behind a curtain of unbrushed hair.

Sitting down on your bed, legs crossed, she makes herself comfortable, and you know this conversation is far from over. Time for a scolding from your far too nosy and too crass roommate. “So you are really telling me you got drunk, even though you assured me the whole day you wouldn’t so you can get some work done today, spent the night in an overcrowded bar, got brought home by a guy and still did not manage to find yourself sitting on someone's dick?”

“For fucks sake, I hate you.” She only rolls her eyes at the insult and takes a sip of her own coffee as she waits for you to go on. “Jaehyun brought me home. Like I’d end up in bed with him.”

“Okay, but consider this: Jaehyun is hot and I wouldn’t put it past you to fuck him. And you literally haven’t had sex in ages, I feel like you’ll implode soon. I mean, I see the way you started to drool anytime you see some nice abs on TV.”

“I’m not drool-”

“Also,” she doesn’t let you finish your protest, talking right over you. “You go drinking with the guys often enough, you always come home alone. So, Jaehyun actually accompanying you must mean something.”

“Firstly, I do not drool over anyone ever, thank you very much.” You send her a pointed glare that she evades by snickering into her coffee. Yes, you might have gotten a bit subjective to shirtless guys in the absence of seeing it in person for quite a while, but you have yet to stoop so low. “Secondly, guess what, my existence doesn’t revolve around sex. I can survive without having someone stick their thing inside of me. At least as long as vibrators exist. Thirdly, Jaehyun was forced to bring me home.”

“Did he lose a bet or something?”

“No, Taeyong asked him to.”

Her jaw falls down at that, eyes going wide and it’s a reaction straight out of a cartoon that you cannot help but smile over. “Wait, wait, Taeyong? Lee Taeyong? Half of the female population want to get in his pants Lee Taeyong?”

Now it’s your turn to snicker as she scrambled to find the words for her disbelieve. But it is only understandable. The infamous Taeyong, face straight out of a magazine cover and manners that surprisingly match, it’s rare to find someone not going all heart eyes over him. A bit of a lone wolf, he is usually found off to the side, mysteriously brooding, yet if stricken up a conversation, he is captivating, engaging - and apparently, quite the flirt. Most girl either want to share the night with him or already have done so. “Yup, that’s the one.”

“I didn’t know that you were close?”

“We aren’t, barely know him,” you muse. Because that’s the thing, of all the girls that want nothing more than to be with him, you are the exception. “He’s friends with Johnny so he tags along from time to time. I don’t think we even ever talked before last night.”

“But he made sure you got home safe?”

You nod, ready to drop the matter. But you should know better, with how stubborn and nosy Yeri is, this is not something you could just gloss over. So, you end up summarizing last night, telling her about the short, yet caring conversation you had with him at the bar, and the aftermath of it.

Even looking back at it now, it doesn't strike you as weird. As much as a player Taeyong seems to be, in the same breath he is still remarked as an utter gentleman. Finding a way to get you home safely does not seem out of character, and neither do you take it as a sign of interest.

Yeri, on the other hand, finds to find a lot more interest in it, deducing things from your story you did not even consider. “Well, he totally wants you. You should go for it. Especially since you are in desperate need of it.”

“Okay, but, desperate or not, I’m still not jumping into bed with anyone?”

“But he’s not anyone. It’s Taeyong, and you know him. And casual sex is your thing, right?”

“I barely know him, which means I might as well not know him at all.” You sigh. She is right on one hand, no matter how little you care about him, you cannot deny the fact that he is incredibly attractive. But then again, that doesn’t mean anything more than that he is pleasing to look at. Because, while yeah, you aren’t the relationship type, choosing to stay single and unattached, you do indulge in hook ups, but those never happen to be one night stands. It’s always with a good friend, purely platonic and tension release driven, no strings attached. But it needs to be a friend, someone you know well, someone you can trust.

With an exhausted exhale, Yeri stands up, stretching her arms out in the process before turning to leave. She throws one last glance at you, and then she is gone, leaving you with your now spinning thoughts, and a headache that has only gotten worse since she first came in. “I’m just saying, there’s a chance there.”

Another week, another drink. It's the same as always, same run down, yet cozy place, same corner table, the same people. Yuta and Jaehyun are already there when you waltz in, half empty glasses and laughter ringing in the air. An enthusiastic yelling sound suffices as your greeting when they spot you stepping through the door frame, and a minute later you are sat down beside them.

Conversation immediately resumes, catching up over the last few days, complains about work and school, teasing jokes. It's scarily easy to talk and have fun with them, the alcohol only serving as an added bonus. You don't realize over half an hour has passed until the ones last to arrive complete your party.

"Doyoung is passing our wonderful company today because of some family reunion, or something," Johnny says as he takes the seat opposite of you, leaving out any welcoming words, but then again, you are starting to think they aren't really that common in your friend group. "I dragged Taeyong along instead, though."

The person first hidden in his shadow that you did not give a second glance to, thinking it was just Doyoung, turns out to be a bashfully smiling Taeyong. His grin widens a bit once your eyes lock and then he is awkwardly gesturing to the space next to you in an attempt to ask for your permission to sit down. You immediately scramble to move your bag out of the way, even scooting further to the side so he can make himself comfortable. He mumbles a quiet thank you, that gets lost in the background noise of blaring blues and the rest of the boys laughing. You never saw him acting shy before.

A question is thrown in the room by Yuta, asking about what Taeyongs been up to, and the conversation goes from there. Talk about classes and part time work, private projects and mutual friends, the topics blur together, a seamless transition, and you find yourself fascinated. Not necessarily about what is being said - you could care less about Jaehyuns failed math class - but by the way Taeyong says them. He has a way to string words together, just the right intonation to precisely settle on the emotion he wants them to be said with. You think you could listen to him talk for hours on end.

It's something you become more and more aware of throughout the night, how great he is at expressing himself, and just at holding a conversation. At one point the two of you had separated from the others, leaving the table in favor of standing in a quieter corner. Neither of you had much to drink, just enough to keep your mood light, yet the words are flowing with ease, no awkwardness or stiff silences in between you. He listens attentively to every word you say, showing small reactions to your words without ever interrupting you, and asking questions when appropriate. You do the same to him, keeping eye contact as he tells you story after story.

You find out that you have quite a bit in common.

It's something you would have never even thought of, not after hearing the hushed whispers of girls that claimed to have spend the night in his bed, or those that have failed to do so. Even though all of them speak highly of him, but none make him seem so... normal, human. Just another regular guy, with the same taste in movies and music as you, one that likes to cook and often spends evenings all cozied up in his room alone. And it makes you realize how much you treasure a good conversation partner.

"There you guys are," Yuta barges into your carefully created bubble, snapping the silent connection you had going. He doesn't seem to notice, as he keeps talking, booze having loosened the tip of his tongue, making his sounds sound a bit slurred. "We are doing shots, come on."

You let yourself get dragged back to the table where you find five small glasses filled with a clear liquid, lemon wedges balanced on top, a salt shaker and the other grinning, drunk guys.

"Okay, I am all for shots, but why does it have to be Tequila?" You sigh, letting yourself fall down on of the chairs, yet sliding on of the glasses over to you out of habit, anyway.

Jaehyun looks at you with a horrible grin that means nothing but trouble as he grabs your hand to first lick it and then pour salt onto the wet patch. "Because you are incredible fun after a couple of Tequila shots."

"So, I am guessing this won't be the only round?" Taeyong asks with a skeptical look on this face. Maybe he has the same hyper, too carefree reaction to the drink as you, or maybe he is just one of those people that prefer to keep their dignity with a shot that doesn't include licking something off your body. At least, no one has gotten the idea to lick someone else, so far.

"You got it," Johnny grin, sending a wink your way as he raises his glass to toast, the others following suit. Clinking glasses, you down your shots, faces twisting up at the mix of extreme flavours and bitter aftertaste, but it leaves behind a giddy feeling in your stomach.

It doesn't take long for the woozy buzz to spread from your stomach to the rest of your body up into your mind where it takes control, letting worries disappear and pulling mindless pleasure into the front. Especially with round two and three following only minutes later, leaving everyone a bit more flushed and cheerful than before.

Time passes, a giggly, hazy atmosphere taking over as jokes, now stuttered and slurred, fill the air, cigarettes get smoked, more glasses get drained. It all feels like a dreamlike state, maybe, just maybe, starting to border turning into a nightmare.

So you excuse yourself for a minute and make your way outside to let the chilly night air out your foggy mind. Leaning against the veneer of the bar, you take a couple deep breaths until your world has stopped spinning again. The cooler temperature helps too, letting your reddish, heated face return to normal as you keep your eyes closed.

"You okay?," a familiar voice pulls you out of your daze. Incredibly large, dark eyes right in front of yours laced with concern staring down on you, and you realize, you have seen that exact expression on that exact face a week ago.

"Yeah, just needed a breather. Thanks for checking up on me, though, Taeyong." You smile up on him, and you aren't sure if it is your inebriated state, but he seems different from earlier. Less timid and... nice for a lack of better words. The drunken flush and messed up hair gives him an edgier look, and as he rest his back on the wall next to you, looking up at the clear sky, you are sure you can see a smirk play around his mouth.

"Mhm, no big deal."

Silence falls over you after that, but it feels natural - just the two of you enjoying the quiet night, his shoulder next to yours, not quite touching, but knowing it’s there. You can't tell you how much time passes like that until you eventually let out a content sign, breaking the unspoken calm.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?," you respond, allowing your head to become heavy and drop onto his shoulder to rest. He carefully itches closer, moving as little as possible as to not disturb you. His hand, that's loosely dangling next to his body, brushes yours and it feels like a spark burned your skin.

"Y/n." He seems to be aware of the electric impulse between the two of you two, your name shifting from a question to a command, and you look up to meet his eyes. Moving in a flash, he cages you in between his body and the wall, one arm next to your head propping him up. His eyes search yours for a sign of resistance, but you suddenly realize just how badly you need this. How long it's been since you felt a body against yours, how much you crave a pair of lips on your own. Your hands grab the seam of his jacket, pulling him against you.

So, he leans in, closing the distance painfully slow. You can feel him graze your lips, not yet applying any pleasure when-

"Guys, we are leaving!" Yuta interrupts the two of you once again. This time, however, he is aware of the moment he just destroyed. Taeyong jumps away from you immediately, bringing distance between the two of you as you ran your hand through your hair clumsily. Yuta awkwardly coughs in a bad attempt to dispel the obvious tension in the air.

"Um, what we were saying is," Johnny steps in as to not let the forced hush continue, "that we are leaving, if you want to come with us. You can stay, though, of course."

Shaking your head you step away from the wall and next to Johnny's tall frame, avoiding eye contact with everyone, especially Taeyong. "No, I'm going too, let's share an uber."

And so your night ends, but the feeling of Taeyong pressed against your body follows you into your dream, awakening the next morning with a strange sense of loneliness, as if your mind had tricked you into thinking you would open your eyes to someone else in you bed. There is something about Taeyong you cannot shake.

I’ll be there in twenty.

You hit send, placing your phone down on your vanity as you check your make up. Swiping a tinted balm over your lips, you straighten out your appearance and go to grab a jacket to finally leave. Not that you are too concerned with the way you look, you are going to end up curled out on a couch in the dark anyway, the plan being to watch a movie. Besides, it’s not a date.

Yelling goodbye to Yeri, who only replies with use a condom and probably a roll of her eyes, you slip out of the door making your way to the bus stop to get to Taeyong’s apartment. Having texted you a few days ago, claiming he begged Johnny to give you his number, you have kept in contact ever since, actually, there hasn’t been a day during which you didn’t talk, much to Yeri’s annoyance and joy. It has been a constant teasing each time you reached for your phone, accompanied with a strict comment by you that you don’t like him like that. He’s just fun to talk to. And then came the invite to come over to watch a movie, which you happily accepted.

So, here you are, standing in front of his door, waiting for him to open up, thumbs twiddling hesitantly. A nervous habit. Not that you are. Excited would be a more fitting word, but then again, you don’t want to let that show. Don’t want to admit that you might be affected by him in any way. But then the door opens, and your breath hitches slightly. You thought he looked good in a pair of jeans and the oversized jacket he wore in the bar, but it is safe to say he looks even better in sweatpants and messy hair.

“Hey, you made it!” He opens the further to usher you in, leaning against the wall as he waits for you to take of your shoes. “Want something do drink?”

“A glass of water would be nice.”

“Are you sure? Because I have this really nice bottle of white chilled in my fridge that I got as a present and have been wanting to try,” he replies, a smirk playing around the edges of his mouth and you let out a little laugh.

“Well, if my presence is enough of a special occasion, I am not saying no to that.”

“Great.” He smiles and disappears around a corner. Putting down your bag somewhere on the side where it isn’t about to disturb anyone, you slowly follow him to the back of his one room apartment. The furniture lining the walls, along with the carpets, are all kept very discreet, simple shades of black and grey giving the whole room a very modern and chic appearance. It’s bordering on being cold, even, if it weren’t for the pictures, book and plants taking up free spaces, bringing a personal, lived in touch to it. But the most impressive thing is that it is spotless, everything in its place and not a speck of dust to be found. You wonder if he cleaned up for you or if he actually is that tidy.

You find him hovering over the kitchen counter, struggling with the bottle opener, and you decide to settle on the tiny breakfast bar that rounds of the kitchen area, and what seems to be a compromise of the missing dining table. “Your place is really nice, I like it.”

“Ah, thank you,” he replies, turning around with a now open bottle and two glasses in hand. “I got super lucky with it, actually. It got renovated fairly recently, but the rent isn’t that high. Here you go.”

He hands you one of the glasses, and holds his own out to clink it together. You give a toast and taste the pearl liquid. It’s quite strong for a wine, but it tastes sweet with a fruity aftertaste - you don’t doubt it must have been on the more expensive side. “Mhm, it’s good.”

Agreeing, he takes another sip before settling his glass down. “So, what do you want to watch? Still up for ‘Howl's Moving Castle’?”

Right, the movie. The reason you are here. Somehow during one of your texting sessions, you revealed to have never seen his favorite movie, leaving him in shock and with a desire to fix just that. Which lead him to invite you to watch it because he wanted to make sure you actually see it, and also to gauge your reaction. “Yeah, sure.”

“Let’s settle on the bed then? Sorry, I don’t have a couch to offer,” he mumbles and laughing, you follow his order, taking your glass with you to place it on the bedside table. The bed is carefully made and it nearly seems a shame to destroy the setting with you sitting on it, but you quickly shake that thought out of your head and lay down on the fluffed up pillows. You are faintly aware how intimate it is, you being on his bed, knowing you could bury your nose in the bedding and indulge in his smell, letting yourself take up his personal, private space. But then you are reminded by how many girls probably already had the pleasure of being here before you, and weirdly enough, it makes you feel better.

While you make yourself comfortable, he hooks up his laptop to the TV standing on a small table at the end of the bed, starting up the movie while drawing the curtains to dim the light. Once he is happy with the volume adjustment, he comes to sit down next to you. It’s a bit of an awkward situation, you not sure if you can let yourself slump against him, he not sure if he can put his arm around you. You settle for hugging a pillow instead, and he clears his throat as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

Yet, once the film gains momentum, sucking you in it’s homey, warm atmosphere, the two of you naturally melt together, your head ending on his chest and his hand resting on your waist. His scent fills your nostrils, clean cotton with an undertone of a heavier musk mixed in. It’s nice, persistent but not overbearing, and it makes you want to itch closer to him, make yourself smell like him.

Maybe, he can read your thoughts, because his grip tightens, bringing you against him in a tighter embrace. You smile into his shirt and bring your own hand up to rest against his chest, firm under your touch.

The movie progresses, Howl gaining courage, Sophie turning younger again and the Witch of the Waste becoming a harmless grandma. The two of you stay cuddled up, saved for the times you reach out for your glasses that empty and refill again. By the time the credits roll, the bottle is finished.

“How did you like it?” He asks, the monitor having gone dark, but neither of you attempting to get up yet.

“It was really cute.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you hum, neck craning to look up at him. His hair brushes into his eyes, making his features look softer than usual, but the smirk - the same damn smirk that he wore before he tried to kiss you last time - is ruining all traces of innocence. The hand not on your waist comes to cup your jaw, making sure you keep your face towards him as he slowly leans down, and you immediately close your eyes and pucker up, waiting.

Only he never closes the distance. When you reopen your eyes, you find him staring at you with a amused expression, mischief prominent in his eyes. The aura around him has changed, a cold edge to him now that burns just as much as fire would, and suddenly you have no problem understanding how easily it is for him to find someone to fuck.

But before the thought of how obvious he made it just how desperate you are for him, before you get to complain, he swoops down and swallows you whole. He easily maneuvers your body so you are sitting on top of him, straddling his thighs, chests pressed together. His lips are plush and soft, moving against yours in languid motions that leave you wanting more.

He waits for you to let out a small whine before finally swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, asking you to open up and letting him explore your mouth.  You agree all too easily, and you hear him chuckle at your willingness.

But somehow, this little laugh of him flips a switch in you. You are not going to be another toy he plays with for the night to discard later on. Oh no, you are going to give him a run for his money, challenge him as well.

So, you sneak your hands into his hair, pulling at the silky strands and bite down on his bottom lip, eliciting a surprised moan from him.

Grinning, you pull his head back, placing wet kisses along his jaw and down his neck, enjoying the way you can feel his chest rise and fall with labored breaths. He doesn’t let you continue for too long, though, flipping the two of you over. His body weight presses you into the mattress, and you hold onto his shoulders to keep him close as his mouth is on yours again.

He breaks away for a quick moment, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding it somewhere in a corner. You immediately let your hands wander over the freshly exposed skin, exploring the way his muscles move under your touch. His own hands glide along the outline of your body over and over again, as if he is trying to commit them to memory. They creep underneath your shirt, his thumb tracing the underside of your bra, until you get too frustrated with the shy touches. Pushing him away you get rid of both, the shirt and bra, and he wastes no time letting his mouth and tongue run over your chest.

The combination of his warm breath on the wet traces he leaves draws constant sighs out of you, back arching further into his ministrations. His fingers come to undo the button of your jeans, dragging the stiff fabric down far enough until you can kick them off fully. Settling in between your thighs again, he lets his mouth drag down further this time, kissing down your stomach until his nose is rubbing against your still underwear covered clit.

Pulling the offending clothing to the side, his tongue peaks out to lick over your slit and your hands immediately come to grab his hair as a moan escapes you. His fingers spread you open, releasing the wetness trapped there that is now mixing with his saliva as his tongue circles around your sex, slowly closing in on your swollen bud.

It doesn’t take long for you to start squirming, and he has to grip your hips to keep them still, but not before he finally gets rid of your underwear, giving him full access. A mix of swirling circles, teasing flicks and broad stripes soon has you a breathless mess that is gripping the blanket underneath you for dear life. Broken moans of his name are lacing themselves in between your sighs as he starts sucking, lips wrapped around your clit, tongue still not letting up as it flicks harshly.

You can feel the tight knot forming somewhere deep in your gut, winding itself further up with each lick and stroke, your muscles tightening and back arching. Taeyong's fingers dig into the dip of your hip bones with an iron grip - you wouldn’t be surprised if you wake up to bruises tomorrow. But then he shifts position, letting on arm sneak around your waist to keep you where he wants you, while the other comes down to join his mouth. His fingers probe at your entrance, and you can tell he enjoys how wet you are for him as a string spans between his fingers when he spreads them apart.

“Taeyong, please, stop teasing,” you say, somehow managing to bring the words out in between labored breaths. You can feel him grinning against your core, but he is nice enough to follow your plead, two fingers finding their way into you and letting a mewl fall from your lips.

Your sounds soon turn into staccato moans as he speeds up, pumping in and out of you, occasionally curling them. His tongue is still going hard, restless in his approach to make you cum, and it’s working. You are walking the silver edge, so incredibly close to tilting over. He knows it, too, your moans that are spiraling higher and higher a good indication, and with one finally curl of his fingers he pushes you over.

Jaw going slack and torso darting up, a silent scream chokes you up. You are tightening and tightening around his hand, thighs coming together and trapping him - not like he seems to mind. He keeps his rhythm going, milking out every reaction out of you to fuel the white bliss that you are drowning in.

It takes a couple dozen seconds before you starting calming down again, gasping for air. He pulls away from you with a huge smirk, licking your remains of his lips, but his chin is still glistening with them. You reach down, brushing his hair out of his face as he comes back up to kiss your lips. With his hips pressing on top of yours, you feel his hard dick pressing against his sweatpants, and you don't care how tired out you are, you want to feel him inside you.

Your hips grind into him on reflex, and you feel his breath that hits your neck hitch. He rolls off you, getting a condom from the bedside table, and standing up to rid himself of his clothes. Stretching out on the bed, you watch him strip, watch the bulge prominent in his boxers, that he quickly steps out of. His cock is flushed red, and you see Taeyongs jaw clench as he grabs it to put on the condom.

Grabbing his arm, you pull him back down the second he is done, not wanting to wait any longer for him. He twists his shoulders as to make himself hover above you, but you react quicker, pushing him down and straddling his thighs. You push your hips upwards, letting his dick slide between your folds, flinching slightly as it rubs against your oversensitive clit.

He has given over control, looking up at you from underneath his lashes, irises blown wide and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Smirking, you lift yourself up, aligning his member with your entrance, slowly sinking down on him. A groan escaped him as his hands fly up to grab your hips, fingers digging into your skin. Your own come to rest on his thighs, torso tilted backwards so you can easily roll your hips as you ride him.

You can tell he tries hard to stay calm, to keep himself from bucking up and fucking you senseless, but at the same time, he enjoys you doing all the work. With his eyes closed and lips pink and swollen from all the biting and kissing, he looks like a piece of art. Something that should be eternalized in a renaissance painting, a face sculpted by the great masters themselves.

And then there are the noises, breathless sighes and rough, hoarse moans that mix with your own whines and the slick sounds of him slipping in and out of you, all echoing in the open space of his apartment. It spurs you on even more, ignoring the strain in your thighs as you keep your rhythm, keep your speed, keep riding that heightened edge that is left over from your earlier orgasm.

But then you slip up, slowing down as you arch your back further, and he snatches back the dominance. The grip he has on you tightens as he starts fucking up into you, fingers sneaking to rub over your clit, and you slump forwards, hands now resting on his chest, nails clawing into the skin to keep your upright as he overwhelms you.

You don’t even hold out a full minute. Setting off your second orgasm, this time everything in you goes limb, you are nothing but a boneless ragdoll in his grip as you pulse around him, every nerve in you on fire with pleasure. But he keeps going, keeps you in that state until you are burning up, a broken sound resembling his name what finally sets off his own orgasm.

He pulls you down, holds you tight as his muscles flex and his hips buck up, now without rhyme or rhythm. Your head is buried in the crook of his neck, while his hands brush lightly over your back in soothing circles. The two of you are sweaty and reek of sex, both too hot for all the close contact, but it feels nice, comfortable, just right to come back down from the high. You can feel him go flaccid, still inside you, but still neither of you get up just yet.

Only when your hearts beat at a normal rhythm again do you get out of the embrace. You excuse yourself to the bathroom, throwing your shirt back on the way, glad that the seam hits the top of your thighs, making you feel less indecent, while he rids himself of the condom and cleans up. Looking at your reflection in the mirror, cheeks flushed and makeup smudged, you feel a weird sensation in your stomach.

You fucked Taeyong. It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? The impossible idea that Yeri planted in your head, that grew from there into an independent thought, into something that you actually craved. But now you are just one of many, one of all the girls that did just that, that drool over him, that whisper about his charms once he left the room. Are you going to end up like that too? Was this a one time thing? Will your texting now cease to be after tonight, an awkward mood in the air when he joins your usual weekend drinking round?

No, not now. This is not an issue to worry about right now, not an issue to worry about at all. You can sort your thoughts out later, can just let time take its course. Splashing a bit of cold water on your face, you cool down, calm down, and make your way back into the bedroom.

Taeyong leans against the kitchen counter, back in his sweats, yet still shirtless - you can see the red streaks that your nails left on his chest. He drink a glass of water, when he spies you offering you one as well. While he fills your glass, you fully dress yourself, running your hands through your hair to comb it and sort it out.

It’s silent, none of you daring to speak, but it’s not as awkward as you expected it to be. You can feel his eyes on you as you down half of the glass, your dehydrated body aching for the water. The way he hovers next you reminds you of the moment outside of the bar, just the two of you sharing a space with something unsaid lingering between.

You wonder what that could be.

The cool september night breeze is a nice change from the stuffy air you just escaped from. With a booze filled plastic cup in hand you lean on the porch railing, light from the crowded house flooding the lawn that throughout the night became littered with empty cups and cigarette stubs. You don’t envy the poor soul that has to clean up the mess tomorrow.

“Found you,” Yeri murmurs before you hear the glass door slide closed again, and her familiar figure taking up the empty space next to you. Glancing over at her, legs wobbling sightly in the thin heels, the hair messier than you remember it being when you left, and the pink on her lips smudged, you raise an eyebrow. You don’t need to voice the question out loud for her to answer, the guilty grin and the nonchalant waving of her hand confirmed that wherever she disappeared to earlier, it wasn’t on her own. “What are you sulking out here on your own?”

“Needed some fresh air and an escape from an annoyingly clingy-drunk Johnny.” With perfect timing you can hear him laugh somewhere in the background, too loud and too excessive, probably over something unfunny as well. It causes both Yeri and you to giggle.

“Have you talked to Taeyong?”

“Not today, no. Should I?” You look at her, wary. It’s been nearly two whole months since you went to his place for the first time, but not the last time you ended up in his bed. Wordlessly, the two have slipped into this dynamic, his friendship and his body have become all too familiar, yet Yeri’s worry has not yet come true. Feelings aren’t involved.

After the first time, having gone home right after, Yeri had easily guessed what had happened, and wouldn’t leave you alone until you agreed to tell her all the details. Maybe, you had used a few too many dreamy adjectives to describe him, maybe it was her knowledge of what other girls had told her about him, but the grim expression on her face wouldn’t budge - not even for the juicy details you were spilling.

She ended up warning you, reminding you of how you did not fall for people easily, how you did not long for a relationship which made casual sex so easy for you, and why that was so dangerous with Taeyong. Because you did not expect to fall for him, you did not want to fall for him, and that is exactly why you would, and it will hit you hard, leaving you with a broken heart that is entirely your own fault because you knew from the get-go that Taeyong is the last person to settle down.

You had dismissed her, assuring her that none of it would become true. Independent till last, the thought of romance did not cross your mind with him once. It was sex, no strings attached, and it always would be, that much you were sure of.

“I don’t know if you should, but apparently he has been looking for you,” she says, sloshing around her drink. You are reminded of your own, slightly forgotten as you had sunken deep into your own inner monologue, taking a big gulp and enjoying how the vodka mix burns down your throat. “Why would he even be looking for you? It’s not like there are a billion people that could blow him at this party.”

“Thank you for implying that he only enjoys my dick sucking abilities, and not my actual company,” you reply with a sharp tongue, sarcasm lining the edges of your tone. Emptying your cup, you turn around. “And I don’t know why he’d be searching for me, maybe he just wants to say hi. I mean, we are friends after all. Also, I’m going to get myself another drink.”

“You went from one conversation to bed buddies, I am sorry that I doubt your underlying friendship here.” You just scoff at her words, pushing your body away from the railing. Following suit, Yeri downs her own drink, a clear statement that this conversation is not over and she is escorting you into the kitchen of this house party. “Listen, I don’t trust him. Did I hype you up for a one night stand? Hell yeah. But you don’t know how many rumours there are of him breaking girls hearts, deliberately. He knows what he is doing, getting close to you and all that. You are setting yourself up to get hurt.”

“Oh please, Yeri, I’m not a heart eyed idiot. I won’t get hurt because I literally don’t care,” you say maybe a little too harshly. Yeri has done nothing wrong, she is just looking out for you, but you feel like a child getting talked down to about having tried to touch the hot stove. “He can fuck every single person in this house, and I would not be bothered, we aren’t exclusive. Hell, even if he blocks me and never talks to me again, sure, I’d be a little taken aback but I would get over it without much fuzz? There are no feelings involved.”

“Okay, okay, I trust you.” She raises her hands in defense, finally dropping the topic. She must have sensed your frustration by how hard you set down the Vodka bottle, the dull thump heard clearly, even through the booming music. “On another note, have you seen how good Ten looks today?”

“Um, haven’t seen him yet, I think. Wait, did you two…?”

“What? No! It wasn’t Ten! I just mean, he’s been checking you out all night, I just thought I’d let you know.”

“So, you are on my ass all night because of Taeyong, and then suddenly send me into someone else's arms?”

Grinning, she shrugs before idly walks out of the kitchen, making sure to walk past Ten who is chatting with someone in the corner of the room. Nipping at you drink, you absentmindedly stare at him, the way his black hair is carefully styled out of his face, and the way his clothes hang of his frame. Yeri was right, he does look good, especially with the smirk that he has on his face right now as he seems to be telling a story.

His eyes snap up to meet yours - he probably felt your stare - and he smiles at you, a nice, friendly one, not the cocky grin he wore a second ago, and you return it. And then he is excusing himself, making his way over to you.

“Hey,” he greets, eyes dark and sparkling. There is always an air of mischief around him, fun and light, always riding the edge of getting into trouble. It is impossible to dislike him.

You start chatting, catching up about what happened in your life since the last time you ended talking at a party, or in a bar, or wherever - it just included alcohol. Ten was one of those people, somewhere between friend and acquaintance. Well known enough to draw out a smile at the mention of his name, but unfamiliar enough to not know his phone number, not know how to hit him up at any other time. But he is always spotted at every party and every event.

And it’s always fun talking to him. Always a joke on his lips, always bordering on the edge of flirting. But today, today he is more on the offense. Words dripping with honey and a sultry glint in his eyes, he claims your presence in this lonely kitchen corner. You play along, giggling at his words, your arm brushing against him. It’s shameless and cliche, and it’s easy. Not even sure if you are just playing or serious, it doesn’t even matter, you let him cage you against the counter. Drunk foolishness, you lean in and kiss him.

He reciprocates, lips moving languidly against yours, a hand coming to grab your ass and you sigh into the kiss. You are very aware that you are making out unabashedly in public, that anyone could walk in on your indecency, but the vodka in your system is encouraging and the overall mood is hazy. It feels good to let go, like a high school student at her very first party. And Ten’s lips are soft, his body warm and his touch firm. You no longer care who watches you.

But, still, you cannot shake the feelings of eyes on you, it’s letting the baby hairs in your nape rise. Opening your eyes, you let them glide through the room, finding none other than Taeyong lean against the door frame of the otherwise empty kitchen, arms crossed in front of his chest as he stares at you. A couple seconds pass, the two of you just looking at each other, you still kissing Ten who is unaware of the situation, before Taeyong turns around and leaves, a certain tenseness in his shoulders and jutted jaw.

It leaves a bittersweet taste behind, seeing him storm out like that.

“He hasn’t texted me back all day,” you announce, plopping down onto the couch where Yeri is spread out, watching a rom-com to help her suffer through her hangover.  She groans at your loud voice, but is nice enough to lift her legs to make space for you anyway - or maybe she just wanted to use your lap as a resting place for them.

“He’s probably dying, just like me,” she says. Her hair is a mess and you see dark shadows lining her eyes, and yeah, she does look like she’s in pain. “I mean, after all the shots we took.”

“Yeah, he’s a lightweight,” you murmur, thinking about how he is always the first to slow down, the first to demand a water in between. It’s quite funny considering how much it clashes with his image. “Wait..., ‘we’?”

“Mhm, a bit after I ditched you I ended up with Mark and Jaehyun. Taeyong joined.” She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, reaching for the popcorn bowl on the table. But before she pops the handful into her mouth, she hesitates, as if wanting to add something, deciding against it the very last minute. You stayed silent, eyes idly following the figures on the TV screen.

It took a couple minutes before she spoke up again. “Did you really make out with Ten?”

Letting out a hum as a confirmation, you stole some of the popcorn from her, slowly eating one at a time. You haven’t told her about it yet, but Johnny saw you, and already send you a bunch of teasing texts (you only replied with an emoji, flipping him off). You have no doubts that he didn’t keep it a secret, letting the word spread to all of your friends. It must have trickled down to her, as well.

“Oh.”

“Oh? Oh? What is it with you, pushing me towards guys and then getting weird when I actually follow your advice lately?” You turn to look at her, eyebrows raised. It’s so unlike her, she is usually the one spurring you on, encouraging to take the risk, wanting to know every little detail after. Her lack of curiosity, or maybe rather, her lack of positive reaction worries you. “First you got all worried that I’ll fall in love with Taeyong, and now you are weird about Ten.”

“It’s not like that, I just…” She trails off and takes a deep breath, as if she needs to gather her thoughts, arrange her words, before continuing. “Taeyong mentioned something about you sucking face with Ten and I don’t know, I didn’t think you’d actually do it. Maybe because I did actually think you had feelings for Taeyong even if you were denying it. But I got it wrong, okay? I got it completely wrong.”

“I told you I didn’t like h-”

“Y/n, I know. And I am sorry for not believing you. But honestly, my head is killing me so can we please just continue this conversation later when I am less in pain and not as likely to bitch at you?”

“Yeah, sure. Sorry.”

Silence falls over you again as you watch the on-screen couple fall in love, everything so sweet and happy and perfect. Her words replay in your head - I got it completely wrong -, confusing you. There’s something else there that she refuses to tell you, and you can’t imagine what it would be. It’s connected to last night, sure, but the only possible option that you could think of is that she got it the wrong way around. You might not have fallen for Taeyong, heartbreaker extraordinaire, a charming player that seems too trustworthy to doubt, the one that never gets attached, but that somehow, he has fallen for you.

It seems absurd, impossible even. Why would he fall for you out of all people? A dumb thought - but then again, it makes sense, doesn’t it? The way his body tensed as he saw you with Ten, a jealous rage making him leave the room, going to find Mark and Jaehyun to blow of some steam. Telling them about what he just saw, Yeri there too, hearing every word. And then knocking back shots to no end when he isn’t much of a drinker in the first place.

It all fits so well.

And it fills you with a sense of pride, weirdly enough. The fact that you were the one to make him fall, to dethrone the king of no emotions, there is a satisfaction in that. One that you cannot quite grasp nor fully understand, but it certainly makes you want to feel it again and again. See the way he clenches his fists and squares his shoulders, as you smirk at him from behind another guys chest. To have him wrapped around your finger.

“Hey, Yeri, one more question. When Taeyong joined you guys last night, did he seem … mad?”

Maybe, you could not fully hid the amusement in your voice, because the look she sends you is irritated, as if something about the way you said it irks her. But she slowly nods, furrowing her eyebrows in a way that you know means she is recalling the moment in her mind. “Yeah, kind of. Jaehyun seemed taken aback, too, especially because it was Taeyong that asked for the drinks. Why?”

“Nah, nothing. Was just curious.” Just in time your phone vibrates in your pocket. You take it out and can’t stifle the laugh, that sounds too much like a cackle. Yeri just sends you a pointed glare, having sensed your change in demeanor.

Lee Taeyong hey, sorry for the late reply. i’m good. do you have time later today?

Your heart is pounding against your ribcage, reverberating in every single bone in your body. The spot between your legs is throbbing, and its slickness has spread down your thighs, even down to stain the bed sheets, sticky and uncomfortable, but you are too exhausted to get up. Taeyong lies next to you in a similar state, eyes closed. You watch his chest rise and fall with each deep breath he takes.

You are back at his place. Of course you are, it’s become one of your favourite places to be, and his lack of roommates makes it ideal for your arrangement. Nothing to explain, no one to consider, no interruptions - always just the two of you.

Unless someone else is occupying your mind, and it seems like Taeyong isn’t alone in his thoughts. The way his grip was a little tighter, his thrusts a little more forceful, how he tried to please you even more today. It all seemed like he had something to prove. Yes, you are clinging to your theory, a jealous Taeyong trying to keep you by his side. So far, it just seemed to have proven true, his fists clenching as you talked about last night’s party.

He didn’t mention anything to you, no word lost about Ten, but you can tell he is thinking about it.

So, here you are, in his bed, his taste still on your tongue, the memories of his touch still warming your skin, and your heartbeat returning to a normal pace. It’s your sign to leave, like you always do. The textbook fuckbuddies, no cuddling, no staying overnight, no kisses outside of the bedroom. But today is different, today (or maybe last night) something shifted. Because when you roll out of bed, reaching for your clothes to get dressed, he stretches out his hand, stopping you. “You don’t have to go, you know?”

Turning around to him, he lays there, eyes wide and almost begging. You don’t have to go, you know? We don’t have to keep doing this, you know? I can be yours, you know? The simple question is anything but that, and you are not sure how to react.

He senses your hesitation, but what has already been said, cannot be taken back, so he does the next back thing. “I mean, it’s really late and the weather is shit, so you can stay for the night if you want to. I don’t want you to get sick or something.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” you murmur, letting yourself sink back onto the bed. “I guess I can stay.”

It’s stiff, awkward, the air between you, everything it hasn’t been before. Where you had just shared warmth and kisses, skin searing with each others touch, no inch left unexplored, you are now painfully aware of how close he is. How, if you spread your fingers, your hands will touch, how his weight dips the soft mattress, how you both smell of each other.

Damp sweat still sticks to your skin. You usually hopped in the shower first thing once you got back home, but now you are here, feeling trapped, and it feels so uncomfortable, so suffocating.

“Hey, um, do you mind if I shower real quick?” You ask him, and he shakes his head, quiet. As if he had not only swallowed his tongue, but his pride as well. It’s not a good look on him, you realize, the humiliated, beaten down boy.

He grabs you some towels, hands it to you along with a clean shirt and underwear of his, quickly explaining the shower mechanism. And then he leaves you to yourself. As you scrub yourself clean under the stream of water, you carefully inspect your body, rubbing at each scratch and mark you can blame Taeyong for, as if damned. It feels too intimate being in his shower, using his soap, smelling more like him than you ever did before. His clothes do not help.

But deep down, a warm feeling comes with the situation, you using his products, wearing his clothes, sleeping in his bed. That’s new, for him too. Other girls don’t get to do this, other girls don’t get this attention, this treatment.

Letting your hair down and brushing it out, you look at yourself in the fogged up mirror. Taeyong is a good look on you. As uncomfortable it all first made you, his clothes fit you well, you even deem yourself cute in them. Especially with the blush that has tinted your cheeks.

Stepping back out into the living space, you find him sitting at the kitchen counter, phone in hand. He is still shirtless, and as always, you spy the scratches you left on his shoulder blades. Hearing your bare feet tap on the floor, he turns around with a bashful grin, but he bares a bit more confidence that he did earlier. Excusing himself, he brushes by you and disappears the bath you just left. You hear the shower turn back on right after.

Taking your phone out of your bag, you let Yeri know you won’t be coming home, but yes, you are fine, explanation will follow later. After that you turn it off, saving some battery for tomorrow. You make your way back to the bed, surprised to see its sheets and bedding changed. Sliding underneath the blanket, you breath in the clean smell of laundry detergent. It mixes well with Taeyongs scent that clings to you, and strangely, it comforts you. This could smell like home. You quickly shake off that thought.

Taeyong doesn’t take long, hair haphazardly rubbed dry with a towel, remaining slightly damp and standing up in every direction. He looks at you, curled up and waiting for him to return, and he cannot help a small smile. Turning of the lights, he joins you, but is cautious enough to not come close, making sure he isn’t touching you. You know, your hesitation, your shocked reaction to his plea, it hurt him deeply.

So he lays next to you on his back, while you are turned away from him. You doubt it’s the position he usually falls asleep in. At least he is honest in his failure, he isn’t pretending to fall asleep right away, no matter how amicable and nonchalant he seems, his thoughts are racing on how to act from now on. The restlessness is radiating of him, but he keeps still, gives you to the room to fall asleep, stays quiet as to not to disturb you too much.

It’s ridiculous of him to think you could just rest without a worry when he is next to you, mentally twisting and turning. It feels wrong, anyway, after all the sex, all the grabbing and pulling each other close, to be in his bed and have him so far away. So really, it’s just instinct that you roll over and use his chest as a pillow, hand next to your cheek, feeling his heartbeat. The way he flinches is a clear indication that he did not expect this, didn’t expect you to come close. But, even with hesitation, he places a hand on your waist, the other brushes over your hair. You let out a content sigh.

You fall asleep like that, in his arms, and you don’t think you have rested that well in a long time.

“You are a bitch, you are aware of that, right?” Her tone is harsh, and you can tell just how mad Yeri is by how she won’t even look at you. Each time she does, she flinches, as if it’s unbearable, as if you are some kind of monster. “You are such a fucking bitch, I never expected this from you.”

Sitting on one end of the couch, you watch her circle the living room as she fires her insults at you. You sit quiet for now, taking it all. You’ll start arguing once she becomes a bit more reasonable. “Yeri, calm down.”

“No, I am not calming down. Someone needs to be mad at you and curse you out. How dare you fucking play with his feelings like that?”

Maybe you shouldn’t have told her, shouldn’t have mentioned how he obviously was in love with you, how desperate he was to keep you close, how you got off of it. The power, the control, the way he’s wrapped around your finger. And how you ended up sleeping over, ended up giving in.

The next morning was a little awkward - at least for you. You stayed for breakfast, Taeyong being a surprisingly good cook and whipping up some of the best pancakes you ever had. But before all of that, you woke up still wrapped in his arms, his face buried in the crook of your neck, breath fanning over your skin. You had thought about sneaking out, sending him a thank you text later, but you stirring in his arms made him wake up as well. He kissed you good morning.

After that, you couldn’t just leave. So, you let him cook, and you let him talk, and you let him kiss you goodbye once you finally found a reason to excuse yourself.

“I’m not playing with-”

“The hell you are! Don’t you fucking dare deny this. You said it yourself, you get excited having him be your little lap dog, but you have no desire to actually commit to him. That is the definition of playing with his feelings.”

“No,” you sigh, and she sends a glare at you just for even talking back. She is leaning on the kitchen counter now, making herself a tea, but you doubt it will do much to soothe her anger. “I would be playing with his feelings if I were to flirt with others in front of him, try to make him jealous and all that.”

“What about Ten, huh?”

“That was before I even knew he liked me!” Now you feel your own anger rising, because she should know that better than you. She was the one that pushed you towards Ten, and now she is flipping the blame on you? You don’t care if Yeri is made at you, don’t care what profanities she hauls at you, but you won’t let her lie. “Why do you even care so much? You barely know him, and everytime you did mention him, it was accompanied with a snarky comment about how much he hoes around.”

Her hair whips around as she turns to face you, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know, maybe because I have some goddamn empathy? Or maybe, I just can’t believe you stooped so fucking low. Taeyong is in love with you, actually has been for quite some time, and you failed to care or maybe even notice.”

“You know, what I think,” you say, a cold, arrogant smile around your lips as you push yourself up from where you were sitting to stroll over to her. “is, that you marked Taeyong as this devil, this beautiful fallen angel that you think will ruin everyone that interacts with him. That getting close to him is playing with fire, but guess what, I wasn’t the one to get burned. And now your little theory is ruined and you can’t handle that, so now you shift the blame on me. I didn’t do shit, we set up rules when we started and he was the one to break them, not me. He fucked it all up, and I am just trying to salvage what I can.”

“I can’t fucking believe you.” Yeri looks at you, her mouth slightly agape but there is ice in her eyes that bites and burns, and not ever has she looked at you with such a pure disgust and hatred before. “You know, I always thought your oh I don’t really fall in love, I don’t want a relationship schtick was some weird kind of defense mechanism, or maybe you just didn’t meet the right person yet, but turns out, you are just a heartless bitch. What else is part of your argument? That I am secretly in love with Taeyong, too, and that is why I am mad? Or that I am jealous because you got his attention and I didn’t? Go on, do your thing if you are oh so innocent and above all feelings. Go and burn your bridges, seems like you are good at it. I don’t care.”

You two stare at each other for a bit, waiting for the other to react, to have the last word. But no one does, and she shoves you to the side and storms out, leaving you standing in the kitchen with clenched fists and a feeling of guilt, regret and doom already bubbling in your stomach. Angry tears are prickling in the corners of your eyes, and you hastily wipe them away, too prideful to cry.

You are at a loss on what to do, because you know Yeri is right. What you are doing to Taeyong isn’t fair, you’ve known that since you first realized he might have feelings for you. No strings attached, the number one rule. He should have ended your arrangement, but maybe he thought it was more than just sex for you, too. Just as he never actually confessed, you never turned him down either. There is always hope lingering, isn’t it?

Guilt was weighing you down from the beginning, but you didn’t want to admit that. Hearing Yeri yell your own thoughts at you, you just lashed out. You couldn’t do anything but lash out, and you hate yourself for it. Because Yeri is right, she always is in situations like these, even if she is harsher than necessary, often riling you up as well. Your shoulders slump forwards as the tension caused by anger yields to defeated conceit, you become aware of all the apologies you owe.

Hearing a rustling sound behind you, you turn around to find Yeri still lingering in the hallway, cup of tea in hand and eyes turned to the floor. You look at her with contrite eyes, an apology already heavy on your tongue but she slightly shakes her head, before the words can ever leave you lips. “You should really go have an honest talk with Taeyong.”

You did talk.

Calling him up, you agreed on grabbing a coffee in a small coffee shop not too far from his apartment. With fidgeting hands that spun around the paper cup in your hands you crushed the hopeful look in his eyes as you laid out your truth. I am sorry, we can’t keep doing this. I think it was a mistake. I hope there are no harsh feelings between us. Simple, straightforward, no use in skirting around the topic for too long.

He had simply nodded, a smile on his face that nearly succeeded to hide the hurt in his eyes, and until you had emptied your drinks your conversation was focused on trivial things only. A pleasant talk that might be shared between old friends that have grown apart. A depressed mood settled over you.

There was a moment right before you left in which you shared a silence, holding each others gazes.

This is it, isn’t it?

I think so, yes. I can’t bear to just stay your friend, it’s no longer enough for me.

I am sorry it had to be this way.

I’ll get over you, just please, keep your distance to let me heal.

Smiles were exchanged, and you both left to go your own way. Yeri was incredible proud of you - you had apologized to her profusely and all harsh feelings were forgiven again. Of course, it’s going to be something that you will get teased about years down the road, but you think you can happily live with that if it means Yeri is staying a constant in your life.

She explained some of her knowledge about it all, too, having gotten a little too involved with Mark, the guy she disappeared at the party with. After Taeyong drowned himself in his misery, she helped him get the poor guy home safely and Mark, in his own inebriation, has run his mouth, telling Yeri about how you had caught Taeyong’s eye long before but how he had never dared to make a move as you never had shown interest in anyone. She had misjudged his character greatly, too. Through Mark she realized he isn’t the cold hearted player she thought him to be, and it really got to her. Seeing you act the way that was, in her mind, stereotypical for him, made her extremely angry. It was the worst timing, she achingly realized, to push you into another guys arms, but there was nothing she could do but have faith in you.

Having heard all of that, you just decided to put the whole ordeal behind you. You needed to destress, so the open invitation by your usual weekend drinking crowd came perfectly. Greeted with the usual lack of greeting, you have a face splitting grin on as you join your friends, toasting with a drink, which turns into two, which turns into many.

Yuta and Jaehyun are the same cheery bunch as usual, but in between the laughter, you could feel Johnny’s eyes on you, heavy and criticizing - being one of Taeyongs closest friends, there is no way he didn’t know about what happened.

To a degree, the others do too. You never disclosed your type of relationship, but they all saw you suddenly get closer to him, saw the way you left a little too little space between you when you sat next to each other, saw how you exchanged quick glances, how you left at the same time. You weren’t exactly secretitive. Not that it bothered anyone.

“Hey, Johnny, do you know why Taeyong didn’t come out tonight? He brushed me of pretty quickly earlier.” Yuta asks, and your gaze turns to the floor, a warmth spreading in your face. You didn’t even think about how Taeyong has become a fixed part of your little group, that, of course, they would invite him, too. And you basically forced him to stay home. Even if you try to keep your distance to him, you still end up hurting him apparently.

“I think he isn’t feeling well or something. Nothing deep,” he answers casually, but you can feel his gaze burning into you, doing nothing to ease your mortification. But the answer is wordlessely accepted by the others, and the topic of Taeyong falls under the table, allowing you to feel normal again. But while the others stop talking about him, he stays on your mind. Everything that is said, you relate back to him, you can practically hear how he would answer, what he would joke about.

You cannot get a rest from him like you hoped to.

The alcohol doesn’t help, blurring your individual thoughts until the only thing is him, him, him, and when Johnny asks you if you are okay, you ask him to step outside with you for a second. You end up standing on the exact spot that Taeyong tried to kiss you in - which isn’t helping your brain functioning, now the memory of his lips on yours on replay - and Johnny just looks at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for you to speak first.

“I… I can’t get him out of my head, Johnny. I am so fucking confused, I don’t know what to do.” You turn to face him and his unreadable expression, he’s leaning against the wall with crossed arms, looking down on you. You expect him to say something in return but he doesn’t, he just keeps staring at you, making you fill the silence instead. “I thought after talking to him this would stop. I called everything quits, but he is still there. Whatever I think about, whatever topic, Taeyong is always the end thought. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I can’t stand this.”

“Y/n, you are honestly so dumb.”

“W-What do you mean?”

He laughs at your wide eyed stare, completely oblivious to the obvious you just stated. “You shut him down because he got attached but here you are literally daydreaming about him. Y/n, you are head over heels for that boy.”

“I’m not, I can’t be…,” you mumble, hand running through your hair in distress. Your vision is zooming in, narrowing down after Johnny’s words, and you feel your eyes water. “This isn’t supposed to happen, this isn’t a thing, no.”

“Fine, okay, let’s do it this way.” He sighs and rolls his eyes, and your lips press together, forming a thin line. “Why did you agree to become his fuckbuddy in the first place? And don’t tell me you were that desperate because we both know you’d have tried to get it on with one of us.”

“I-, … okay, true. Um, he was charming. And polite, like when he made Jaehyun take care of me even though he barely knew me. It was so thoughtful of him. And he’s also really funny, and great to talk to. I could probably listen to him for hours, he’s so great to talk to. We have a lot in common too. And then there’s the fact that he is extremely attractive and one hell of a flirt.”

“The fact that you mentioned his appearance last should be hint enough. You’ve been texting him non stop and you literally couldn’t keep your hands of each other each time I saw you. You are in love, girl. We all know you are too proud to admit you could ever have feelings for someone and all that shit, but it’s time to stop running because at this point you are just bound to end up miserable.”

“But-”

“No buts, for fuck’s sake, just give it a try? If it doesn’t work out, break up and you are back to where you are right now, and, that one’s more likely, if it does work out, you might actually be happy. Sounds insane, I know.”

He gauges your reaction, watches as the words register in your brain. Hands on your head, you slid down the wall until you are sitting on the floor, trying to sort out all the thoughts that are spinning in your head.

His eyes, his smile, the way his hair sticks up when he nervously runs his hands through. His smell. How his body fits against yours so perfectly, as if made to keep you safe at night. All those things fill you with a warm feeling and make your heart beat faster and, maybe, what you mistook as arrogance was just concealed jealousy all along. How you wanted him to like you, how you enjoyed him being yours. How fucking stupid you were, that you never realized it was because it meant that you could be his, too.

And this time, for the first time in a long while, you allow yourself to cry, let the tears stream down and smudge your make up, let the sobs shake your body. It feels good, like you are finally letting something trapped inside of you out. Johnny kneels down next to you, a hand rubbing over your shoulder soothingly as you keep your face buried in your hands. “I-I think you are ri-right. But I already f-fucked it up. I already hurt him. I can’t m-make it undone.”

“Hey, hey, look at me. No, you can’t make it undone, but you can make it up to him. Go to his place, be honest and fix what there is left. This isn’t over just yet.”

With watery eyes, you look at his eyes and nod. You’ll follow his advice.

You frantically press down on his doorbell, again and again, with no regard of the late hour. If his neighbours hear it, you don’t care, or if he might already be asleep. You just need him to let you in. When the intercom speaker crackles, you don’t let him ask who’s there, words are falling from your lips before you can stop them.

“Taeyong, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t-, I don’t know why-, I really like you, too.”

A buzz rings out, unlocking the door and you are sprinting up the stairs to his apartment. Out of breath, you stop for a split second and look at him, standing in the door frame, eyebrows furrowed and in a pair of ratty boxers and a thin shirt. He is about to say something, but he doesn’t get to. You occupy his lips as you fling yourself into his chest, fistfuls of his shirt keeping him close, and kiss him as hard as you can.

It takes a second for him to realize what is happening, to react accordingly. But then his hands grab your waist and he kisses you back with such vigour, it draws a desperate moan out of you. He ushers your inside without ever breaking the kiss, and keeps you pressed against the now closed door. Only when your vision starts spinning and you start to get light headed by the lack of oxygen does he let you go, even if his lips remain on you.

Placing kisses all over your cheeks and nose, along your jaw and down your neck, shushing you when you try to speak, to explain, to apologize. “I don’t care, I don’t want to hear it, not now. Just, let me make you mine.”

He comes back up to kiss you again, this time his tongue poking through, and you open up immediately. Tonight, and maybe from now on, you are his, no resistance. He explores your mouth, each nook and cranny, his hands doing the same along your body. You somehow manage to toe off your shoes before he guides you over to the bed, and in your eagerness, you trip over your own feet, causing him to pull you even tighter.

“Sorry, I’m a little drunk.”

“I can tell.” He pauses for a second to take in your face, and it’s hard for you to look back at him. You know your make up is smudged, eyes rimmed red from your earlier tears, and you are about to start crying again. He has accepted you back so quickly, without any questions asked and you don’t deserve any of it, it’s overwhelming you. He should be yelling at you, kicking you out, and not making out with you. Tears well up once more, and your lip starts to quiver. But he doesn’t stop looking at you, his thumbs carefully rubbing away the mascara stains as he smiles softly. “Hey, it’s okay. I am here and I am not going anywhere.”

Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, willing the the tears away as you lean in his touch. Then, you close back in to kiss him again, hoping it will translate all the things you want to say to him but cannot. Grabbing his shirt, you make sure he stays close and you pull him down onto the bed. He flips the two of you around, takes of his shirt and crawls on top of you. Your legs wrap around his waist as he starts devouring you.

His kiss is going from bittersweet devotion to a hungry craze, aggressive in its approach. After the first time, the two of you started getting rougher with each other, even if there was no one in particular that called the shots, always an even balance. So when his hands start pulling at your hair, your nails start digging into his skin, scratching lightly. Your heels dig into his lower back, too, making sure your hips are aligned when you start grinding up at him. He barely stiffles a groan.

Rolling you around, you straddle his thighs, his eyes on you as you strip out of your shirt and bra, letting him place his hand on your breast, moaning when he pinches your nipple. But tonight isn’t all about you, so you lean down to kiss down along his body. When you reach them, you push down his boxers to his mid thighs, letting him kick them off himself, before you settle on your knees between his spread legs.

Usually, you would love to tease, nibble at his hip bones, place a few kitten licks on the tip until he growls at you to get going, but today you waste no time. His cock is already hard, with just a pearl of precum leaking, and you take him in your mouth without hesitation. His familiar, salty taste spreads around your mouth. You expected his hips to snap up, so you manage avoiding gagging on him as you take him deeper. Your tongue swirls around him as you bop your head, and it doesn’t take long for the first moan to fall from his lips.

He collects your hair, all the thin strands that fall into your eyes, and holds it in a makeshift ponytail. It’s such a thoughtful gesture, it makes you want to work even harder. Alternating between taking him as far as you can without choking on him and circling your tongue against his tip, you hollow your cheeks as he glides down your throat. When your jaw starts hurting too much, you take a quick break, using your hand to jerk him until you are ready to take him again. It has him working up a frenzy quickly enough, guttural groans and grunts spilling.

His eyebrows furrow as his back arches, his bottom lip folded under his teeth, the grip on your hair getting tighter and tighter, soon bordering on painful. But you are determined to rile him up further, so you relax your throat and take him all the way until your nose is squished against his pubic bone. It’s uncomfortable, hard to breath, but you bear it easily. You stay like that until your lungs are screaming for fresh air, swallowing and humming around him. The tension in his body increases, his thigh muscles flexing under your touch and you know he is getting close. Yet, he tries his hardest to stay still, not wanting to hurt you.

When you pull away to let your lungs fill with oxygen again, a string of spit connects from your bottom lip to his flushed cock, and he has enough. Using the hold he has on your hair, he tugs you up so, eyes focused on your swollen, wet lips and he growls. “I am not cumming until I fuck you senseless, baby.”

Distracting you with a kiss, he sneaks his hand between your legs, rubbing, but through the thick fabric of your jeans it just feels like teasing. It’s not enough for him (or you) and he flips you over, dragging all of the fabric left on your body off of you, so baring your body in front of him. He nudges your legs apart, and without warning, slips two fingers inside. You mewl and arch your back as he smirk down while pumping his fingers in and out of you.

With his thumb rubbing on your clit simultaneously, it’s incredibly hard to stay collected. But he doesn’t want you falling apart just yet. Taeyong rouses you up just enough to have you desperate, feeling annoyingly empty when he withdraws to go put on a condom. You whine for him to hurry up - even if you expect him to make you wait, make you say how much you need him -  and he complies. Crawling back on top of you in no time, he pushed into you with a content sigh. You have long figured each other out, falling in a familiar rhythm right away. He thrusts with just the right angle to drive you wild, and you know where to touch him to keep him going. The only difference, this time is he hits it harder than usual, not in any aggressive way but as if each move is to claim you, show you how good he, and only he, can make you feel. And caged under his body, you find yourself feeling incredibly stupid to ever have doubted how much you want and need him, so you just hold him tighter, moan a little louder, let yourself be taken apart by him to show him everything you are too afraid to say.

Taeyong comes first. Hips stilling inside of you - you clenching around him to tease out the most - he collapses on top of you, head buried in your neck, whispers of mine, mine, only mine fanning against your skin. He doesn’t rest too long, pulling out and replacing his cock with two fingers, pumping vigorously. His tongue laps at your clit, too, making sure to have you cumming quick and hard.

And you do, with shut eyes and an arching back, you let his name fall from your lips and the waves of pleasure crash together over your head.

When he kisses you after, it’s interrupted again by that word - mine - but this time your tongue bears the weight of it, too. A round two happens - more or less - in the shower after, your knees too wobbly to stand for long, and your bones too liquified for another orgasm, but he has fun with your oversensitivity and how easily he can make you moan his name.

And this time, you couldn’t be happier that you smell like him, that you end up huddled together in his bed. The last thing you take in before exhaustion whisks you away is the feeling of his lips on your forehead.

“You’re late!” Yuta complains as you walk into the bar, already a few empty glasses on the table. Jaehyun next to him and rolls his eyes, and Johnny warns him not to ask where you were.

“Yeah, you probably don’t want to know that I had her bend over the kitchen counter just before we came here,” Taeyong laughs and squeezes your hand, the two of you taking place on the empty seats.

“I honestly liked it better when the two of you were fucking in secret,” Doyoung mumbles, a look of disgust on his face, but he beams at you all the same when he sees how your body slumps against Taeyong naturally.

“Babe, please do not announce the details of our sex life to all of our friends, thanks,” you snap back, faux annoyance in your voice, but he winks at you and nudges you slightly, mumbling something along the lines of not all the details, they don’t know about the kinky stuff. “And secondly, Mark and Yeri aren’t here yet, either.”

“They are probably busy fucking right now as well.”

“Yeah, this is getting unbearable. I think it’s time for us to find girlfriends, too.”

Ignoring the jokes and complaints of the other guys, you turn to Taeyong and lean up to peck him on the lips. You still feel a bit weird doing it, especially in public. Sometimes even holding his hand seems too much to handle, but slowly you are getting used to it.

And you could no longer imagine a life without Taeyong by your side.

note | pinterest board this is the first fic i wrote in an extremely long time and wow, what a ride. also this turned into one of the longest ones i have ever wrote so r.i.p me lmao. anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed it! also a HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to @trbld-writer for beta-ing afksdhf i love u lunes

#taeyong smut #nct smut #nct fics #nct #lee taeyong #nct 127 #nct u #taeyong #nct angst #taeyong fics #taeyong angst #I AM YELLING AS I POST THIS #why am i sO NERVOUS dshfskdfhsdfs #nct taeyong #fic:mtdc

[thestudyfeels]

Failure. Such an awful word, isn't it? You might've flunked that test Miss Honey set last week (in my defense, Genghis Khan's goatee was giving me nightmares) or maybe your sis ate up all those donuts you bought on your cheat day. Either way, it’s easy to get hit by a few L's along the way because life loves throwing in lemons. Oh, just noticed, life and lows... they even start with the same letter L! (hobo logic, COMING RIGHT THRU)

But what if I told you that failure = success? And that sometimes, failure > success? Isn't that rad as eff?

What’s the time? Don’t look at your watch! It’s time to conquer our failures.

You’re probably thinking along the lines of: "Ok… failure. *scrunches face* Hmm, don't want to experience that! I mean the letter F has better words... Like food! And omg fishies!! BRB. Gonna get food." Stop. Also, since I’m so kind, I'll get you the first appointment with my counsellor.

Failure is simply a deviation from the ordinary. Things didn't go as you had planned. Oh, please. I'm an excellent planner! I planned for my fishies to fly, and they will! Um, hi. Welcome to the real world. Fishies don’t fly around here. And if they did, an eel would prob smack you in the face while doing so.

But believe it or not, failure provides countless opportunities for growth. How? Because it’s only in our darkest times that we are willing to go the deepest. Good days, we skim through them. Only when the seas get rough do we sit down to try and figure out why things turned out the way they did.

And even though experiencing a low sucks, it is necessary sometimes. Think about this. Without failure, success would truly have no meaning. If you can’t ever lose, what counts as a win? If you can’t make mistakes, everything becomes ‘ordinary’ as there are neither any highs nor any lows.

Now! If you are all warmed up, let's sit around the bonfire and have a story time about my failures. Bring some marshmallows too, it's gonna be a long one.

In my life so far, I have gone through many failures. Most were small ones, nothing to cry upon (my sis did take my cookies which I'm NOT happy about but I think I’ll let that pass). Two failures, however, completely changed my life:

Fail no #1: Two years ago, I was a completely naive and ignorant teen. I had a bunch of so called “friends”, was hella popular, and was basically living the life of a queen (at least that's what I thought at that time). Well, in between that, I had my first boyfriend (poor guy) and hey, it was another feather to add to my cap. It didn't however, last long.

We broke up and a few days later, I tumbled into a really dark hole. Went down in the dumps and became depressed (And that starts with the same letter again! Oh, I’m so good at this, all hail me). My ‘friends’ left me to pick other ones and I had no one whom I could trust or talk to. I was completely alone. (Gosh, looking back, I was such a sad child.) Now I don't talk about weird shit like this because I am grateful that I’m out of it and am now a lil’ happy unicorn. Those days weren't fun.

Anyways, during my days in the dark hole, I realized something profound. I couldn't love someone else with all my heart because I hadn’t learned to love myself. Heck, I didn't even know who I was. I was a complete loser.

Fail no #2: Months later, my family shifted states (around the time I started this blog). By now I had grown to be wiser and stronger. Popularity didn't mean anything and I found my solace in perfect A’s all over my report card. Everything was going fine and dandy, but then I was showered with a bagful of lemons again (no wonder I’m allergic to them). I met Prashasti.

Now, most of you know her as Prasati grandma who helps me with the Interviews (read: here!) and about whom I talk a lot, whether in awe or annoyance. She’s a grannie with sass. Coming back to the point, she had joined freshman year in the same year as I had and well, we become friends. (BTW, she’s editing this article for me so shout out to my binch! I love you!)

Um, ok. Anyways, after we talked (like grannies do, lmao) about life and shit, I realized that I was doing it completely wrong. Sure, I was happier and not a loser anymore, but I wasn't even close to using the potential I held. I'd gotten up after falling off my rocker (or horse, if you like horsies) and dusted my hands, but now I was just sneezing all over the place. I hadn't taken the reins just yet. I was still in what philosophers call the ‘bubble’ (read: The Bubble Trap for more on this).

Feeling like a failure? Commence part two.

Truthfully, failure hurts. I will neither try to minimize the pain nor tell you that it is easy to bear. Instead, I will try to make you realize that failure is important to experience in order to become more wise, kind, compassionate, and in the end, a better human being.

Now, consider this. When you break a jar full of water (reminder, your mom is about to kill you so hide while you can), the glass shatters and the water pours out, now free. In the same way, life sends failures to crack open your outer, fake shell and to allow your values, your emotions, and your finer self to come out and experience the sunbeams outside.

Failure is beautiful and sine qua non (and I’m poetic, thanks for pointing out Sally). But ironically, many fail to understand that there’s honestly so much to learn from it. I mean, you get to stay at home, eat burnt popcorn for breakfast, and cry your heart out, doesn’t that sound like fun? Here, let me explain.

Lesson from fail 1: I learned my most important life lesson which was to love myself completely.  Another thing I realized was that everything is temporary; friends, boyfriends, everyone is going to play their roles in my life and move on someday, citius aut serius. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s a fact of life. I simply had to embrace that and make the most out of our time together. This failure also hinted at my non-existent communication skills, which I had to fix. (Now I’m Bob the Builder! Ah, childhood.)

Lesson from fail 2: I learned that you can truly be what you want to be. Life is full of opportunities and trust me, life wants you to win. Don't just live, though. You must take a step back occasionally to see where you are going. Most don't do that, they are too busy checking off tasks from their to-do and moving onto the next one. For them, everything is just a chore to get over with. They turn a blind eye to the freedoms that lie ahead of them. You are capable of doing everything you want, go wherever you want, be the person of your dreams. Isn’t that freedom enough? Most are scared to take responsibility for that and hence they play small and are willing enough to sacrifice their true dreams, settling for stuff that doesn't excite them.

You see, some say I’m a bit too wise for my age. I‘ve even had people send me asks ‘advising’ me to wait till I’m eighteen before I give advice on so called ‘adult’ topics, like failure, life etc. Pah.

Do we not experience failure when we are young? Or do they not matter, huh? One golden rule of nature is that what you resist will persist. If you don't learn from your failures which come in smaller doses when we are young, a much bigger failure is going to hit you smack in the face later on. Teens don't learn from theirs, and lo and behold, we find ourselves a few years later in depression, midlife crises, and whatnot. How fun.

THAT'S the reason I don't listen to what those asks say. I mean, sure, I could ignore my failure now, they are not big ones. But do I look like dumb to you? Life is a wonderful teacher and I choose to learn. And so can you.

So coming to my point, failure hurts. But remember, failure teaches more life lessons than I’ll ever be able to teach you (welcome to life lessons 101, taken by Nani). Ergo, point to note, failure doesn't stop you, it's the quitting that does. It doesn't take your faith away, it TESTS it. Decide whether you want to pass or- once more, fail.

So does that mean you shouldn't feel the pain, sadness or remorse the failure brings? Nah. You should never hold back your emotions. Cry, beat up yo’ pillow, kill fishies if you have to, I support you (the campaign starts, #SaveTheFishies).

But don't let your emotions rob you of your growth. Learn to let go when you have to, and then use your failures as a slingshot to catapult you closer to your ambitions. Pluck up the courage to face failure and your fears, it's as easy as plucking those lemons.

See, there will always be an excuse NOT to learn from your failures. I could have stayed in that dark hole which no doubt wouldn't have been very fun and would have ended up becoming suicidal. I chose not to. I could have left Prasati and her wise philosophical shit to pick other friends while continuing to live inside the bubble (I still love you prash, put down that knife please). I chose not to.

In the end, even though your destiny is roughly mapped out, it all depends upon the choices you make. Whether you choose to learn or not. Thus yes, failure is not the opposite of success, it becomes a part of success.

So please, by all means, fall, dear friend. Fall, and then choose to get back up.

here are some related materposts if you want to read more:

One way to change your life: your perspective (out new!)

Musings on The Bubble Trap + how to get out of it

Why should you conquer: the value of your life (popular!)

Read my Interviews with my friend, Prash!

Want instant motivation? Here’s my #ThursdayPickup!

Well, it’s a wrap! I post new articles every week (the schedule’s here) so you can follow me if you are into killing the game & conquering life. I’ll do my best to help you in the tough yet amazing journey called life. ✨

If you want to go thru my blog, I would rec picking your choice of post from my masterpost list! Or, if you want to read something insightful on your cozy afternoon while chilling under blankets, I would rec reading one of my interviews. Feeling spoilt for choices? Here’s another! If you want to implement the ideas I share in my masterposts by taking action, take on one of my challenges! + you can also request a blog post! For that, leave your question in my ask box.

I hope you are well, stay strong and conquer life, you conqueror.

- Nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

#bouncing back from failure #how to deal with failure #inspiration #motivation #unicorn studying #*life #obsidianstudy #studyquill #studyplants #studyblrmasterposts #uglystudies #cielstudies #athenastudying #artemistudying #moonshinestudies #ahsteria #elrood #jiyeonstudies #have a good day y'all <33 ily #*work

[coffeeandcas]

To continue this? Or? It's gonna be super angsty, like Dean-Winchester-has-an-awful-past angsty. WDYT? Destiel AU, obviously.

“Six dollars? For coffee? Is that a joke?”

The girl, pigtailed and snub-nosed, stares at Dean in utter indignation as he holds out her decaf, sugar-free, no-foam monstrosity. It’s got so much fake caramel syrup in it that it barely even qualifies as coffee at this point and it definitely isn't worth six dollars but hey, he doesn't make the rules. Bored, Dean wiggles the paper cup at her.

“Yuh. Don't like it? There's a Starbucks across the road, go get diabetes there, instead.”

Affronted, the girl huffs and puffs at him while she digs in her purse and Dean dumps the coins in the cash register with an extremely fake, ‘Have a great day!’ before leaning back against the sink and rubbing the back of his neck. Outside the sun is shining but it's chilly and autumnal and red-brown leaves skitter and swirl along the sidewalk, carried by a gentle breeze and stopped in their journey by people’s boots and sneakers. It's warm in the coffee shop and he tugs restlessly at the deep V of his black t-shirt, leaving a smear of wet coffee grains on his collarbone. It's a rare moment when the shop is quiet, and he takes in their few customers listlessly. Two girls sit huddled together on their iPhones, giggling at something, wrapped up in scarves and mittens despite the indoor warmth. An Asian kid, Kevin he thinks his name is, is dozing off in front of his laptop and a pile of textbooks in the corner. A couple sit in silence, both staring out of the window with empty cups in front of them, tension pulling into faint lines at their mouths. And a cute guy with short, military-cut hair and pouty lips talks on his phone loudly, laughing as he talks about some woman named Anna. Dean rolls his eyes. One of his many, many pet peeves is hearing someone yack loudly on their cell phones in public. He turns away, washing his hands under too-hot water and wiping down the bar. He had averted his eyes from the father and son sitting near the door, the kid colouring in a picture energetically and the father ruffling his hair with a fond smile. The boy only looked about eight years old. He swallows bitterly and grits his teeth, muttering to himself. Only two hours left of his shift then Ruby will be here to take over from him and he can head home to catch up on Dr Sexy and maybe hit the gym.

The bell at the door signals someone’s arrival and Dean plasters on his usual fake smile, feeling it melt into a small, more natural one as he sees his customers. He even manages to ignore the flurry of leaves that have blown in with them. These two are regulars, coming in together most days, sometimes twice a day if it's cold and blustery like today. They're both blue-eyed and painfully handsome, and today wearing matching blue scarves; one of them is in a slightly ill-fitting tan trench and the other in a long wool thigh-skimming coat with a black beanie covering a shock of dark hair. They're twins, and the most identical twins Dean has ever seen. They're talking intensely about something as they approach the bar, one of them shaking his head and laughing, and their faces split into identical smiles as they see their barista.

“Dean! Hi!”

“Hello, Dean.”

And Dean’s lips incline just a tiny bit, the closest to a genuine smile he ever manages when it comes to customers. Or to most people, really. He doesn't exactly like these two; they just annoy him less than most people. They're… he has no other word for it. They're both sexy. Nice to look at. Some might say intimidating. They seem to walk with the kind of purpose that evades most people, like they're constantly on some sort of heaven-sent mission, and he's forever watching other customers follow them with their eyes whenever they leave with their coffee cups clutched in their hands.

“Hi.” He wipes his hands and tosses the towel. “The usual?”

“For me, yes. Please.” Tan trench-coat smiles at him, pulling a black leather wallet from his pocket. Black beanie is tapping his teeth wth a manicured fingernail and looking up at the board behind Dean’s head.

“You've got plenty of new drinks. Pumpkin spice season is always my favourite. Is there anything you recommend?”

“No. Are these to go?”

“I'm so glad I asked, thank you for your expertise.” Black beanie grins at him, displaying a row of flashing white teeth, and trench-coat elbows him.

“Jimmy, be nice. And choose your own drink. Yes please, Dean, both to go.”

He knows they're called Cas and Jimmy, and he knows they own Novak & Novak, an art gallery a block away, but he can never work out which twin is which. Normally he has to wait for one to say the other’s name, because firstly it feels rude to ask but secondly, he doesn't really care. They're Cas and Jimmy. Why should it matter to him which one is which?

“Fine, I'll have… a vanilla brûlée latte with foam and extra whip please, Dean-o. And a slice of carrot cake, or whatever that is.”

Jimmy smiles at him again and Dean’s teeth ache from the amount of sugar in the drink the man is requesting. Around Jimmy’s neck is slung a camera, a white and tan Olympus with matching strap, which he has to push aside to find his wallet in his pocket. Cas elbows him before he can pull it out.

“My treat. Your turn tomorrow. And what about you, Dean?” Cas’ smile is more reserved, almost shy, but his blue eyes twinkle as he turns back to the bar. Nonplussed, Dean just stares at him.

“What about me?”

“Can I buy you something? You look like you've had a long day.”

“Oh, gee, thanks pal.” Dean rings up their order, irritably. He hates being told he looks like shit. “Way to make a guy feel good about himself. And no. I don't want a coffee. I get them for free anyway.”

“Oh. Right. I…” Cas has gone pink all the way to the tips of his ears. Jimmy is staring at the floor, a lock of dark hair curling onto his forehead, and he looks like he's got his lips clamped tightly together to suppress a laugh. Or a giggle. Jimmy Novak looks like the type to giggle. “I apologise, Dean. I didn't mean to offend you-”

“Whatever.” He hands Cas his change and turns away. “Your drinks will be ready soon, gimme five.”

“Alright.” One of the twins responds, then Dean is sure he can hear whispering over his shoulder. Or hissing, more like. One twin berating the other about something. Their voices sound so alike he can't tell who's speaking, and he doesn't really give a shit anyway. He's used to being talked about. People have been talking behind his back ever since his thirteenth birthday, he's grown a thick enough skin that it doesn't bother him any more. He doesn't care what they're saying.

He slides Cas’ extra-shot latte across the bar to him, frowning when the other man offers a shy smile. Cas is possibly, maybe, potentially the more attractive of the two, at least in Dean’s eyes. He's got to know the twins a little since they moved to Vancouver last year, after Jimmy almost fell into the coffee shop with an exaggerated gasp about his need for caffeine, and in that time he's noticed a few subtle nuances about the men that make them different. They're so subtle, however, that most of the time he still can't tell them apart at a first glance. Jimmy is the more talkative of the two, and seems the more energetic. Cas is shyer and more studious, and has a few more fine lines at the corners of his eyes than his brother, lines which Dean notices now as he looks at him and immediately feels irritated with himself. Why has he even noticed? Stupid of him. Cas must be at least a decade older than him. Eight years, maybe.

He finishes Jimmy’s drink and hands it over, turning away abruptly before either of them can attempt a conversation with him. He isn't interested. He's tired, crankier than usual, and just wants to be left alone. Honestly, he feels like Shrek half the time, wanting to be left in peace in his own solitary life. But, annoyingly, people do keep insisting on talking to him.

“Well, bye Dean-o.” The nickname grates on him. Jimmy sips his drink thoughtfully then nods, apparently satisfied. “See you tomorrow, I'm sure!”

“I'm already looking forward to it!” Dean matches Jimmy’s cheerful tone with unconcealed sarcasm and both twins bark out identical laughs. Jimmy gives him a two-fingered wave and saunters off, fussing with his camera, while Cas lingers.

“Did you forget something?” Dean asks, blunt as ever, and Cas turns his blue eyes on him, eyes as clear as the ocean and for a split-second Dean is captivated. Then he coughs and looks away awkwardly.

“No. I just wondered… I just thought…”

Cas is tracing a swirl in the rustic oak bar top with a finger and Dean follows its path. Cas has nice hands, objectively. If he were interested in peoples hands, or in Cas, he would say they were nice. Strong. Artistic, if the dents in his knuckles are anything to go by. They look like they would be nice to hold, his fingertips smooth and his palms soft, nails short and well-kept but not groomed like Jimmy’s. Dean would think those things if, you know, he was interested in Cas at all. Which he isn't.

“If maybe you, uh,” Cas falters and stops and Dean has to resist drumming his fingers on the bar. The bell at the door rings again and a small gaggle of teenage girls come in, jostling each other out of their way as they approach, all clutching their phones and with a little too much make-up on for Dean’s tastes. Cas, oddly, goes beet red and seems to think better of whatever he was about to say.

“See you, Dean.”

“Uh, OK, bye…” He scowls, watching Cas walk away to join his brother by the door then they both leave in another flurry of leaves. The hell was that about? “Weirdo,” He mutters under his death then turns to the teenagers with his fake-happy smile plastered on his face.

“What can I get for you guys?”

#Destiel #destiel fic #destiel fanfiction

[dorothyd89]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry&hellip;

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates! 🙂

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

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[johnclapperne]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates!

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

http://ift.tt/2phA9sT

#That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

[almajonesnjna]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates!

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

http://ift.tt/2phA9sT

#That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

[ruthellisneda]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates!

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

http://ift.tt/2phA9sT

#That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

[joshuabradleyn]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates!

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

http://ift.tt/2phA9sT

#That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

[albertcaldwellne]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates!

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

http://ift.tt/2phA9sT

#That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

[neilmillerne]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates!

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

http://ift.tt/2phA9sT

#That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

[fitnetpro]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates! 🙂

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

###

photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry… published first on http://ift.tt/2kRppy7

[denisalvney]

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry…

Hey, I was young. I didn’t know any better!

And the money was good. So, how could I turn it down? As a high school kid, you make money any way you can, even if it’s something you’re not thrilled about.

And that’s how I ended up spending two summers with my older brother Jack working for Coca-Cola, which I talked about on Steve’s Instagram:

That’s right, your boy Steve – a guy who once wrote an article explaining why Sugar is Worse than Jar Jar Binks – used to work for the enemy!

For two summers, my brother and I would wake up at 5AM, put on the sweet Coke polo shirts pictured above, hop into our Coca-Cola cars (old station wagons with Coca-Cola logos on the side), and stock shelves full of Coke products for 50-60+ hours a week on Cape Cod.

Now, hopefully you know that the above “enemy” comment is in jest.

If you happen to be currently employed by Coca-Cola or a company that sells products or services that are unhealthy, I don’t mean to pick on you or your employer…kind of. After all, Coca-Cola is a company that aims to make a profit by selling products that are delicious. I get it. Give me an ice-cold Mexican Coke made with real sugar in a glass bottle on a hot day, and it’s heaven. I also know they donate lots of money to charity, employ thousands, and do plenty of good things, and blah blah blah.

Okay! Now that that’s out of the way…

Twelve years after working indirectly for Big Sugar and seven years after starting Nerd Fitness, I now know just how detrimental sugar can be to our health, and it brings me to the point of today’s article!

We know sugar is bad for us (right? I hope?), but I wasn’t aware just how insidious this stuff has become in society and until I learned the history behind sugar’s rise in our day-to-day lives – and the rise in our obesity rates.

The History of Sugar

The history of sugar is both fascinating and pretty messed up. For starters, in the 1960’s the sugar industry actually paid scientists to downplay the connection between sugar and heart disease and instead promote saturated fat as the culprit.

Screw facts and data; there’s money to be made!

This is how we ended up with hilariously depressing ads like the one below from the 1970’s, touting sugar as a great path to weight loss and healthy living:

If you know anything about sugar, you can’t help but look at that ad and start laughing. “Use sugar to help you BUILD willpower? And NOT overeat.” Seriously!?

Fortunately, these days we’re MUCH better off and way smarter, and silly tricks like that can’t work anymore.

Right?

Wrong! As pointed out in “The Case Against Sugar” by Gary Taubes: “Academic researchers in 2015 were doing the bidding of Coca-Cola by taking its money to fund a Global Energy Balance Network and ‘shift blame for obesity away from bad diets, and instead only focus on not enough exercise.’”

We know here at NF that you can’t outrun your fork (it’s one of our Rules of the Rebellion), and you can’t out-train a bad diet, so telling people to ONLY focus on exercising more without worrying about what you put in your bodies is horrible advice.

Luckily, this group was shut down amidst widespread scrutiny and pressure by the public!

Also, pesky things like “facts” and “experimentation” kept getting in the way.

With all of the information coming out about how unhealthy soda can be in recent years, soda sales have steadily dropped to 30 year lows. This is AWESOME news, but don’t expect Coke and Pepsi to go quietly into the night.

Like any animal or company that’s been cornered or attacked, they’re adapting and fighting to stay relevant.

Thus, the strategy they’ve adopted is marketing “healthy” soda alternatives to find another pathway to connect their sugar water with our bloodstreams.

If you’ve picked up a Vitamin Water, a Naked Juice: Green Machine, or a Smoothie King fruit smoothie lately, and patted yourself on the back for making the healthy choice, your head is in the right place…but your blood sugar level will say otherwise!

These beverages, despite everything you’re told on their labels and what they advertise, are as bad for you (or worse) than drinking a soda:

20 oz Vitaminwater Power-C: 120 calories and 31 grams of sugar

20 oz Smoothie King “Pure Recharge” Mango Strawberry: 210 calories and 50g of sugar

20 oz Naked Juice Green Machine (100% real juice, no sugar added): 270 calories and 53 grams of sugar

At least when you drink a soda you know you’re making an unhealthy choice!

Shame on these other companies for convincing you their products are pure and healthy when they often have as much or more sugar as a can of Coke.

If you’re currently pissed off that you’ve been dutifully chugging Vitaminwater for the past few months instead of soda, assuming it’s healthier, I don’t blame you! The marketing and packaging leave you no choice BUT to assume it’s healthy and good for you.

What’s as funny as it is depressing is that even Coca-Cola executives themselves know their “healthy” marketing of these beverages is horseshit.

In 2015, when taken to court over the unsubstantiated health claims of Vitaminwater, Coca-Cola actually used the following defense (seriously): “No consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking Vitaminwater was a healthy beverage.”

I read that quote and my eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Are you furious yet? I am. Let’s fix it.

How to Not Let Sugar Run Your Life

I get it. Sugar is awesome. It’s delicious and makes us happy…temporarily.

It also makes us fat.

And holy **** is it addicting. It targets the pleasure centers in our brains, and is more available now than it has ever been in the history of our species. Unfortunately, our lizard brains have not adapted to its widespread availability instead of scarcity, which means our bodies can’t say “no” or “just a little.” This means we can ACTUALLY get hooked on the stuff. There are even studies that claim sugar can be as addicting as cocaine.

So the solution is simple: do more cocaine, less sugar!

Hahahaha, kidding. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t currently have pants on as I type this, but my advice would be to probably avoid both sugar and cocaine as much as possible.

Unfortunately, avoiding sugar is more than just giving up soda (though that’s a DAMN good start!). Other problems arise because sugar is in EVERYTHING and often hidden.

Why can’t we just tell the truth, people?

We talk a lot about a nefarious shadow organization making us fatter and lazier in our monthly story-driven adventure, Rising Heroes.

I thought it would be fun to create a dragon to slay. However, when you read that stuff above about:

scientists being paid off

calorie sugar bombs being marketed as healthy

companies claiming “there’s no way anybody could consider these drinks healthy,”

It’s like there really is a conglomeration of bad guys aiming to make us unhealthy.

Here’s how you can fight back. Follow these 4 quick rules to keep sugar from ruining your life:

1) Whenever possible, minimize liquid calories. This includes frappucinos and sodas, but also “real fruit smoothies” and “healthy” Naked Juice drinks, Gatorade, and even things like apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice, etc. Every once in a while? Sure. Just make it a rare treat (“treat yo’ self!”) – you’ll actually enjoy it more and be healthier!

I personally prescribe to the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy because I have the willpower and restraint of a 5-year kid in a candy store. I don’t keep sugary beverages in my house so I’m not tempted and have to waste willpower trying not to drink them.

I’ve found that drinking sparkling water like LaCroix can really help me THINK I’m drinking soda, and provide me with the same level of happiness and fizzy satisfaction – without the sugar.

To answer your next question: here’s a whole article on “Is Diet Soda bad for me?” High five!

Still here? Good. Here’s a picture of a puppy:

Okay, back to business.

2) Don’t trust the front of the label, and learn to recognize sugar’s aliases. A label is required to list ingredients by amount, so by adding multiple types of sugar with weird names, a company can get away with moving sugar down the list.

Look for the following names: Agave nectar, Brown sugar, Cane crystals, Cane sugar, Corn sweetener, Corn syrup, Crystalline fructose, Dextrose, Evaporated cane juice, Organic evaporated cane juice, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrate, Glucose, High-fructose corn syrup, Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, Sugar Syrup.

If you only look at two numbers on the back of a box, look at grams of sugar and total calories. You want minimal sugar and fewer calories. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Do the best you can!

Oh, and if a product says “no sugar added” on the front of it, you can bet your life savings on it having a RIDICULOUS amount of sugar.

Note: please don’t bet your life savings on this.

3) Be skeptical, because sugar is in practically everything. When in doubt, eat things with fewer ingredients. We consume 130 pounds of sugar per year on average (holy crap), which means the white stuff in in way more foods than we realize. Not just candy and soda, but practically everything.

Nature Valley Granola Bars? Plenty of sugar. In fact, most “protein bars” have tons of sugar. And, until outraged customers complained, “Nature Valley” Granola Bars were made with high fructose corn syrup. Mmmm, nature.

Pasta sauce? Should just be tomatoes right? Nope. Add in heaping tablespoons of high fructose corn syrup too and you’re getting closer.

Wheat bread? That’s gotta be healthy, right? Check the ingredients. I bet one of the top 5 is “high fructose corn syrup” too.

Hell, look at what’s advertised as a “balanced breakfast” these days on TV! Cereal and skim milk, fruit, a glass of orange juice, and toast. Or, in other words: sugar and sugar water, sugar, sugar water, and pile-o-carbs.

4) Track your sugar intake, and minimize it over time. As I cover in “Star Wars Explains Why We’re Fat,” everybody has a different amount of “gimme gimme gimme” in our brains that craves instant gratification.

This means we all have different abilities to get addicted to things, including sugar. Some people can eat sugar (or have one drink, or try drugs) and not get hooked, while others struggle with addiction instantly – once is enough to get hooked for life.

This comic explains human behavior and addiction quite well…with dinosaurs.

If you are somebody who is actually hooked on sugar, start by tracking your sugar intake each day (actually look up the sugar content of everything you consume!), and see how many grams you’re eating every day. Don’t worry about total numbers, just focus on eating less sugar than the day before. Repeat.

Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore’s Dilemma said it succinctly: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Eat real food (meat, vegetables, unprocessed stuff), keep your calorie total down, and stick to mostly plants along with healthy protein. Done!

We’ll continue digging into this battle against Big Sugar, shadow organizations, and false advertising in future posts. It’s amazing how heavily the deck is stacked against us when we try to be healthy, and how tough it is to find the actual truth!

I have no problem with sugar and people making choices that don’t line up with their health goals occasionally.

What really grinds my gears is when sugar is snuck into products and falsely marketed as healthy. We’re going to fight, and it starts by educating ourselves on how much sugar we’re actually eating.

Over the next week, your mission is to read the labels on the food and beverages you’re consuming. Specifically keep an eye on how many grams of sugar you’re consuming. Then over the next few weeks, try to drop that amount down by 10% each week. And then let me know how you did!

I want to hear from you: did you find this post useful? Hit reply and let me know if this article is actually gonna help you start to remove more sugar from your life!

-Steve

PS: We’ve recently overhauled our monthly story-driven experience, Rising Heroes. We’ll be opening doors for it next Monday, a few weeks later than normal – if you were waiting to get in, sorry for the delay. I promise it’ll be worth it – we’ve unrolled some big updates! 🙂

PPS: If you want to learn about the history of sugar and a contrarian viewpoint to “calories in, calories out no matter what they are,” check out Taube’s book “The Case Against Sugar.” It’s thought provoking and entertaining.

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photo credit: Julien.Belli: Always Coca-Cola, wuestenigel: Macro of Decoration Crystals

That Time I Worked For the Sugar Industry… published first on https://www.nerdfitness.com