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sneezefiction · 4 years

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daichi x female reader where they both had a crush on each other in hs but never let the other know (but everyone else knew heh). she didn't want to distract him from volleyball and he was scared she would reject him since a lot of other guys liked her. now they're both out of college and single and run into each other!

Daichi x Reader

an absolutely precious request!!! thanks for the idea and I hope you enjoy it uvu (i decided to make them freshman at university in this fic, just fyi)

a/n: aghh I love Daichi so much. the first words that come to mind when i think of him are “warm, genuine, and protective.” here’s some campus cuteness!! i tried to do a bulleted list, but got carried away and wrote a short one-shot heh <3

warnings: none, read freely!

wc: 1950

---

There are two kinds of people: Those who don’t fear rejection and those that do. Unfortunately, you and Daichi both fell into the latter category.

From the moment Daichi laid eyes you, he couldn’t take them off of you. The scrunched up face you make when you laugh, the empathetic glance you gifted someone with when they scored a bad grade on a test, and the sweet smile you would shoot his way if he ever caught your gaze.

It got his heart racing, bearing a side of him no one had seen before. It was an aching mixture of the protective feeling he got when furiously defending his team on the court and the overwhelming joy he drowned in after a volleyball victory.

Both fiery and vulnerable.

You on the other hand hadn’t noticed Daichi until your 2nd year.

Yeah, you were both in the same year, but your classes never seemed to match up so he didn’t stick out to you. Your infatuation with the boy truly began at a practice game against a guest team in the Karasuno gym. You’d only gone to appease a friend, but Daichi hooked you immediately. His voice deep, full of command and confidence. You so admired his ability to control the spirit of the court and it was thrilling to witness his powerful, fearless receives.

He’s also built. Just sayin.

The both of you were hooked on each other, but there were a couple of problems.

First, you knew how much he loved volleyball. The way his eyes lit up at the sight of the court would give anyone chills. You couldn’t bear to distract him even in the slightest with some kind of confession. It felt obvious that rejection would be in your future if you even tried to ask him out, something you would be nervous about even if volleyball weren’t an obstacle.

Second, the confidence that Daichi exuded on the court didn’t fully translate outside of it. He knew that so many guys were after you. You’re absolutely gorgeous, talented, and witty, able to make an entire class laugh. Traits that any guy would be lucky to find in a girl. So it wasn’t a surprise that half the team, half the school really, thought you were cute. Daichi wasn’t sure he could stand up to that. Even with Asahi and Sugawara’s attempts to convince Daichi that you definitely liked him back, he didn’t want to risk it.

“Daichi-san, what’s the worst that could happen?” Asahi pushes, “You do realize that she always cheers for your number right? She’s always looking your way in class and on the court.”

Sugawara huffs, “I would have asked her out myself if it weren’t for your stupid crush.” Daichi sends a sharp glare at Suga, making him snicker through his signature smile.

It was clear that the two of you had a crush on each other, but timing really is everything. Daichi had to focus on finding his confidence off the court. You needed your own wake up call: the freedom to make your feelings known without fearing the outcome.

---

Flash forward to your Freshman year at university. Spring brought cherry blossoms and fresh feelings, contrasting perfectly with the dreary Winter months you’d just escaped from. You wish you’d worn an extra layer, but you’re simply stuck with a thin, long sleeve shirt today. The 1st semester of college went by quickly, not leaving you much time to make friends or establish a social life in general, but you were determined to make the 2nd semester memorable.

You decided to join a study group that met regularly at the library. It’s pretty early in the new year, so you didn’t expect many people to show up, so you tried not to get your hopes up. The chilly air outside made you walk a little faster up the concrete stairs. Taking a deep breath to calm your heart rate, you reach for the grand wooden door to the library. Finding the meeting room wasn’t difficult, but what you didn’t expect was to be the only one there. So you wait a while, pulling out your books and holding out hope. You weren’t banking on any more surprises, but wow you’re about to be in for a real treat.

Daichi peers in through the door window to the meeting room only to see the back of a girl's head. He sighs, I’ve probably got the wrong room, but decides to check with her just in case.

He cracks open the door, “Excuse me, is this the… uhhh…” You turned your head toward the male, your (h/c) hair whipping around with it. Both of you do a bit of a double take, eyes widening in recognition.

“You- you’re Daichi, right?” You asked, your eyes bright with silent excitement and cheeks getting pinker by the second.

“Ah yeah, hey! Y/n?” He responds, scratching the back of his head with his own dimpled smile.

You smile wider at his remembrance, “That’s me!” You both turn to look around the room, unsure what to do next. You decide to add, “But apparently it’s just me,” you laugh a little, “I don’t think anyone’s gonna be showing up anytime soon either, sorry.”

“I don’t mind!” He says a bit too eagerly. “I mean, um. I was honestly just looking for someone to hangout with anyways.” He straightens up, doing his best to be honest about his appearance.

“Ah, me too actually. I had a long semester and I still don’t really… know anybody.” You tilt your head cutely, but you can’t help but sound a little down about it.

Daichi just nods in understanding. “It hasn’t exactly been eventful for me either. Sugawara and Asahi are both at different universities, so it’s odd not knowing anyone at all.” You sigh and nod back.

He takes a moment to think, face getting a little flushed at his idea. There’s a coffee shop a couple blocks off of campus… and judging by the lack of faces, there won’t be a meeting here today.

“Hey, y/n, would you want to maybe walk to get a coffee with me? My treat of course.” He offers while adjusting the sleeves of his black, fuzzy jacket, doing his best to hide any hint of nervousness in his voice.

Your heart starts to beat faster. It’s not a date. It’s not a date. It’s not a date… but wait it kinda is? I mean he’s paying?

You let yourself stare off for a moment too long without saying anything and Daichi puts a hand behind his head, with an apologetic look. “Hey, no worries if you don’t want to, just thought I’d offer. I feel like we might have some stuff in common.”

“No, no, I’d love to! Really. Just let me pack up my books and we can get going.” You turn to pack up your book bag, collecting the papers you let loose and gathering stray pens. Daichi waits patiently in the doorway, secretly freaking out a little that you actually want to go get coffee with him??

You both make your way out of the room, back out the door, and onto the brick path toward the cafe.

One look at you and Daichi can tell that you’re shivering from the biting wind chill. “Are you gonna be okay, y/n? You look cold.”

“A-ah no I’m okay, j- just kind of chilly.” Your teeth chatter through the entire sentence, all of your lying creds dropping way down.

Before you can stop him, Daichi is shaking off his big, cozy jacket, grabbing your book bag from you, and placing the coat over your shoulders.

It’s warm… and smells warm too? If warm and snug were a scent, it would be Daichi, you decide.

Meanwhile Daichi is doing his best to hide a smirk at how smooth that was. Thank you, wind god, he acknowledges soundlessly.

As you both make your way to the road, he stretches out his arm, offering you something to link your own arm onto.

You take it gratefully. You begin to relax as you fall into rhythm with his own footsteps and begin to make conversation.

“You know, I remember you pretty well. I would go to a lot of Karasuno’s games. You really are talented, Daichi.” He turns his head down toward you, his short black hair getting ruffled by the wind and a sweet grin forming on his face.

“I remember! You were kinda loud actually.” He chuckles and you elbow him gently followed by a feigned indignant, “Hey, rude!” Then joining him with a giggle that makes him go oh so soft.

“But really, y/n, you encouraged us… me, a whole lot back then. I really appreciated the support.” You flash him a grin, “That’s what I’m here for.” You reply.

Despite his nerves, Daichi feels brave for a moment, choosing to be honest, “Y’know I meant to speak to you more then. I just wasn’t sure how… something about highschool really screws with your head, y’know? It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else’s business.” He sighs, attempting to sound thoughtful, but he’s entirely focused on your response.

You look ahead, stepping up to the next crosswalk, making sure to watch your step before commenting.

“Same here. I really… just didn’t want to get in your way.” You explain.

He looks back down to you questioningly, inviting further comment.

“I can tell how much you loved the team.” You smile warmly, looking down at your feet as they hit the pavement. “And I loved watching how seriously you all took the games. I felt like I might’ve been intruding.”

“It’s not intrusive to start a conversation y’know.” You’re one to talk, he shoots back at himself.

You both approach the coffee shop, he lets you walk in first, taking the jacket off your shoulders as soon as y’all find a seat. He asks for your coffee order and walks up to order while you get comfortable at the shiny, wooden table. Cute atmosphere, white ceramic mugs, and a sweet date? This might just be my new place. You nod to yourself.

Daichi, looking really smart in a brown wool sweater and black jeans, makes his way back to the table with your and his coffee. Once he gets himself settled, you continue where you left off.

Coffee in hand, it was time to subtly shoot your shot.

“I didn’t start a conversation with you because I wanted you to be able to focus completely on what you love. Daichi, I really liked you. How could I get in the way of what you’re so passionate about?”

His mouth slightly agape, he lets himself get slightly flustered. Wow, she got to it before I did… wait a second??? She actually did... does like me? Am I an idiot?

“W-wait really?” He stammers, then attempts to compose himself.

“I mean, same here. I, uh, liked you a lot. I just thought you would find someone before I could say anything… and I… guess I didn’t want to totally shatter my ego.” He says candidly, placing a hand on the side of his flushed face, squishing it slightly.

You laugh a little at his honesty, but you’re blushing now too.

“So do you still, y’know- are you interested in making this a regular thing? I just want to get to know you better, really.” He expresses with a genuine sweetness you’d never encountered in a guy before. “I know it’s been awhile since then, but I think it’d be fun.”

“Yeah, let's take it slow, but I would love that.'' You gift him with your most charming smile, brushing a stray hair away from the front of your face.

“So tell me about more yourself…”

#daichi x you #daichi x reader #daichi sawamura #ask #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!#haikyu #haikyuu fanfiction #hq headcanons #hq fanfic #hq #daichi sawamura x reader #daichi headcanon #sneezefiction

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #416

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one to blame / don’t think of me when you go up in flames”

Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? Not close enough for us to actually go there for groceries, no. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? Well no, given Mark's been in a serious relationship for like six years, and I'd feel disloyal to my partner. I can just dream about it, ha ha. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? I tend to be drawn to people I'm more similar to. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? *shrug* If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? Tbh, odds are I'm making up an excuse. Would you like to meet an alien? That would depend on its motives. It might have wisdom to share, or it may be nefarious, in which case I don't wanna meet it obviously. If so, would you trust them enough to go back with them to their planet? That's a no no matter how it acts. Trust issues, my friend. And that's with humans. What do you think is at the end of space. It's kinda science that space is infinite... Do you like D&D or Magic: The Gathering the most? I've never played D&D because I know I would be way, way too awkward to actually do it. M:TG is fun, though. What is your favorite Disney movie? TLKKKKK. What’s your favorite book series? Wings of Fire tops the list right now, but Warriors will always have a very special place in my heart. What’s something you wish they’d build in your neighborhood? Idk. Do you usually keep ponytail holders around your wrist? No. I don't even wear my hair in a ponytail because it's too short. Sunny D or orange juice? Orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for Sunny D. Can you snap out of a bad mood fast? Nooooo, unless something drastically good happens. How can a person tell if you’re mad or annoyed? My face will probably give it away, mixed with me being short and snippy or more awkward than normal because I'm trying to not be a bother. What’s something you enjoy that’s outside your age level? Certain TV shows. When your friends come and hang out at your house, what do you get up to? The only friend I have that I hang out with once in a blue moon is Girt, and we'd usually play board games or watch TV. Do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child? Yes. Like yes, I'm pro-choice so won't look down on someone getting an abortion, but I still think you should be willing to act to prevent things from getting to that point where that procedure is chosen. For it or against it, abortion is a serious decision and should be treated as such. What were your favourite things to do as a child? My favorite thing had to be video games, specifically Spyro, and I also adored Webkinz and Neopets on the computer. I also loved playing make-believe with my toys like every other kid. I loved watching Dad play video games, too. I've also been a drawing fiend since I was very little. If you were shopping with your best friend, and they picked an outfit that was completely unflattering, would you tell them? I honestly don't know if I would. Her being comfortable and happy in it is what matters, anyway. Do you prefer using air-con or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day? Team A/C for sure. I hate the feeling of wind just slapping the hell outta your face and making a nest out of your hair. Can you ever manage to finish three courses when you go out to eat at restaurants? No. What would you say your favourite farm animal is? Pigs! They are so incredibly misunderstood. They're very intelligent, CLEAN (I know, can you believe it?), silly, and happy animals that I just adore. Is your ex currently in a relationship and if yes, how do you feel about that? Idk if "the" ex is with anyone, and it's for the better I don't, probably. Which one of your friends should be a stand-up comedian? Girt. Is your mom a better driver or your dad? Oh yeah. Dad tailgates like a motherfucker. What's your least favorite genre of music? Either rap or country, idk. Do you like poems? I do. Do you enjoy drawing? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I LOVE when something comes out the way I wanted it to, but if it doesn't, I feel very disappointed in myself and bash it into my head that I could do better. Do you even have any drawing talent? So I'm told. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music? Yes, in elementary school's music class. Ever seen Beetlejuice? If so, did you enjoy it? Oh yes, that was one of Jason's favorites. I liked it. How do you deal with oppressive heat? Complain, sweat my ass off, do anything I can to cool off that doesn't involve taking clothes off. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember pretty much anything whatsoever. What about something they definitely can count on you for? An ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. How do you feel about your handwriting? I like it. Is there a store that bothers you immensely for some reason (people who shop there irritate you or the employees who work there are rude, etc.)? Uhhhh I don't think so. What’s something you complain about frequently? If I'm hot, or my legs hurting. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? Ignore it. I'm not answering. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It's an anti-war pacifism novel, which is something I'm very much passionate about. Would you ever get one of those old school “mom” tattoos with the heart? No. I know with certainty I want a tribute to my mom when she passes, but definitely not that design. Are you a Giants fan? I don't care for sports, but the NYG always make me think of Jason's dad, who is like, obsessed with them. So I guess I feel a bit of warmness towards them just for memory's sake. Last time you went pumpkin picking? Never. Do you prefer eating corn straight off the cob or corn already taken off the cob? I think corn on the cob tastes better with all the butter and spices you can put on it, but I do enjoy off the cob too because it's just so much cleaner. Would you want your family to go on Wife Swap? Well, I live with my mom and she's divorced, so... I don't have to worry about this. How old is your current e-mail address? God, I've had it since I was a kid. Last time you conversed with someone in a language other than English? Not since taking a test for German in high school. Last video you favorited on YouTube? Oh my god, it was this video from my favorite reptile channel (Snake Discovery) of them taking their pet tegu to the park. She clearly had SO much fun. Now mind you I very rarely favorite things, so yeah, I adored the video. Do you like chocolate with coconut filling? Noooo, I'm not a coconut fan at all. What was the first thing you ate today? Mom made bacon, yuuuuum. Do you know how to play Mahjong? No. Mom loves it, though. Do you have any skirts longer than knee-length? I don't own any skirts. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone you weren’t dating? Just flirting. Ever had a promise ring? No. What about one of those “I’ll wait until marriage” rings (I think they’re called purity rings or something)? They're called abstinence rings, and yes, in HS. Funny how looking back I was definitely breaking that vow while I wore it lmao. What is the shortest time you’ve heard of people being together before getting married? My late grandma and her second husband got married SO fast. Like they were together for probably a couple months (maybe less?), then boom, the news came that they were engaged. Are any of your friends currently pregnant? Facebook friends, yes, which are mostly composed of old friends and acquaintances from school. One poor girl very recently got into a bad wreck, but thank goodness she and her unborn daughter are okay. Have you ever played golf? I loved playing putt-putt when I was younger, and then Jason and I once had a mini-golf date. It was really cute. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? It's been some years since I used to wax my eyebrows. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. A minor one, but still. Can you honestly say you love the last person you kissed? Yep. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yeah. Would you ever go on Fear Factor? Noooo. I would NEVER get past day #2 where they tend to do the disgusting shit, and I'm way too out of shape to do the wild stuff they do. What colour was the last mask you wore? Blue. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Oh yes, Sara has an absolutely beautiful voice. When was the last time you had a nightmare? I had two last night, actually. I have this habit of taking my APAP mask off in the middle of the night because it's a nuisance, and I never remember doing so. When I do that, I'm much more prone to have nightmares because the mask helps my sleep apnea, which causes my nightmares/terrors. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I do NOT want to imagine this. It's either going to be beautiful or a fucking catastrophe, of that I'm sure. Does your family have traditions? Just pretty ordinary holiday ones. Have you ever met anyone half-way famous? Tez is famous, as far as I'm concerned. :') I also have some musician friends trying to make it, but idk how far they've actually gotten in the industry. Is there a celebrity that you are related to? No, just ancestors. Would you call your last relationship a mistake? Definitely not. Would you ever take up a job in photography? Ugh... that's the fucking dream. But I'm massively losing hope. Do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back? When I was in school, it depended on whether it would serve as good study material or not. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? My old friend Jenna messaged me a few days back just to say she was thinking about me and wished me well, which I really appreciated. Of course I messaged her back wishing her the same and all. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? Don't believe so, no. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I used to. She vanished. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Don't want to. I want to be alone when I shower.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''thoughts & prayers" by motionless in white

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pinktatertots99 · 3 years

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🔥 Feelings on the canon ships of Homestuck?

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

god am i gonna need to go with the sequals too? just og or all ships that’re considered canon by the end? whatever i’ll just go in order in what might be the ‘canon’ ships from all three of these categories. this is gonna be fucking long so anything and everything is under the cut. also i’m SO not gonna add hiveswap that can be its own separate ask. so:

roxygen: it’s a cute ship...but the sequal vers is garbage considering how inconsiderate roxy is to john’s feelings and his house burning down like damn rox this is the guy who sat with ya as ya mourned doom rose’s death give the guy some fuckin time himself.

rosemary: also cute ship...sequal versions are fuckin godawful tho. their barely a thing in meat from wha i can gather and then there’s candy...oh CANDY kanaya deserves better fuck this sense of her sayin she’s over it idc if it was off screen, even then half the cast ate stupid pills during that time so WHY must i be surprised that this is wha happens?

dave/kat: i dun like it. in either universe. meat is just perfect gay bois who have occasional deep talks and literally do nothing else while candy they split up thanks to jade which, geez ya guys must’ve been shit to tell her to fuck off like come on. og hs wise i barely consider them canon if we only get pictures and them just being on equal footing on quadrant talk. not to mention dave implied to be crushing on jade and JOHN not karkat, idk where this couple even came from other then love triangle situation with terezi but like, that’s barely much of a reason to become canon. i’d go with em bein pale/moirails more.

jadedave: i’m guessing candy and meat i thought meat implied they were dating but may aswell. so....it sucks but thats because candy and meat suck, meat dave’s basically cheating on her i didnt hear any implication they broke up and she’s like...chill??? and then there’s candy where she literally forced him and kar to break up and dated after dirk apparently died, i do not like the implications of this whole thing. course candy dave is dead and a robot now so...anyways canon wise dave had a crush on her and if jade does like him i’d hope it’s not cause of davesprite cause despite both being dave’s they were different. it’s cute otherwise.

davepetajade: it’s...cute? i guess? idk i kinda found davepeta a bit...idk overwhelmingly overrated? like i know where their popularity came from but readin the series now after all that hype i dont really see it anyways tho it’s basically davespritejade with nepeta in the mix. and idk nothin implied much of nepeta liking jade, or talkin to her much. and davepetasprite is a mesh of both so idk. it’s a ship with cute fanon works of em hanging with outfits but that’s bout it.

janejake: i hate it. legit. this is disgusting and completely throws out jane’s character. like even in the fixed timeline the talk she had with dirk probably still happened on the god bed’s and how she acknowledged wha she thought was wrong on wantin jake’s kids and so on trickster still happened and how she also realized she might’ve overhyped jake. but lets throw it ALL out the window to force jake in an unhappy marriage in both universes and possibly force him to stay in candy due to having tavvy if i’m reading the implications right. even then jake isn’t good for jane either both got their own needs this ship would’ve been sunked in canon and WAS but the sequals are beyond it so maybe that explains it but it disgusts me.

roseterezi: guess in meat specifically. yeah i kinda dont...care for it, like i still cant tell if rose and kanaya broke up or if she just fucked off without breaking up either one is fucked up on kan’s behalf. even then i just dont care for their kismesis it got brought up once and that was it.

jaderose: candy wise i guess even tho it was a fling. it disgusts me still mostly because of kan’s behalf on bein fucked over and both goin through a ‘surrogation’ process without her notice. like fuck this shit the jaderose fans deserve better.

roxycallie: idk if this one’s canon but it’s heavily implied callie lives with roxy least in candy. it’s cute, cant deny it even in og it was pretty cute, dont really care for candy vers tho but then again maybe their not a couple in it idk what’s canon couples anymore.

johnterezi: literally fucked in meat universe and john has kismesis feelings for her in canon. it’s...interesting, idk tho i feel like it’s one sided on john’s side.

ms paint/spade slick: i cant deny it’s cute, he’d least know how to treat a lady but god i’d hope it wouldnt be his only defining trait with her. also want ms paint to call his bullshit out pls and thanks.

dirkjake: honestly i cant tell if their STILL canon in og or not god forbid the sequals. in general though...i dont. i honestly dont really like em together much. they seem like the type to least stay friends but idk bout another relationship would be a good idea for em. maybe later down the line but otherwise canon wise they need a break.

and now for the canon one timer ships this involves any ships implied, uncomfirmed, ex-relationships, crushes, etc:

arasol: it’s cute, best ship. their quadrant was never confirmed but regardless their cute. sol tho in the sequals deserved better then to get abandoned by aradia goddamn.

fefsol: also cute, i live for both of em bein ass’s together.

erisol: oh boi this one...this was...yeah i cant even deny they wouldnt be too healthy, i like lookin at fanon ways tho for em. canon wise tho yeaaaah no these guys definietly wouldnt work.

gamtav: it’s...cute but boi gamzee needs some help i think.

gamsol: -sollux did imply he either wanted a kismesis or matesprit with him in one of the flashes- again same as gamtav.

aradia/equius: BIG NOPE nope nope nope equi that’s weird wha ya did never do it again thank fuck aradia hasnt been around him since.

karterezi: their actually kinda cute, looking back on em they could’ve worked. stupid doomed timeline bullshit.

daverezi: also kinda cute, idk tho if i got flushed for em tho i get more pale vibes but it was semi-a thing.

kanvris: it’s baaaaad kanaya deserves much better and vriska never seemed much the type for cementing into a relationship.

vristav: even worse, like i’d like to thank fuck tav one up-ed her in the end cause fuck wha he had to go through.

karmeenah: it...could be cute? maybe? only iffy part is the ages, i thought the dancestors were like sixteen tho since the kids said they were teenagers even tho they were at the time about fourteen? idk tho if eighteen is considered an adult in alternia or not tho it’s kinda implied to be? anyways tho it’s just off puttin maybe a bit tho.

meenahvris: it’s kinda cute, it was atleast, idk lookin back it does feel more unhealthy.

rufidama: baaaaaad i love rufi but he’s got some bullshit he needs worked out and damara deserves someone better.

rufihorr: just as bad as above, both deserve someone better or atleast horrus does with some therapy on it rufioh i think should just chill on relationships but it’s so obvious their not meant to be.

mitula: it’s cuuuuuute i cant deny it, ...okay fanon vers is canon is barely anything and tula does give more pale implications for tuna but with how protective she was over damara near him it’s sweet, but god do i wish canon tuna gave more feelings for tula.

kantula: it’s...creepy. like it’s so obvious the vantas bois cant communicate well but kankri’s crush feels almost pressuring on tula when he kept goin about them and goin “oh but we’re totally friends and i’m celibate so it’s okay its whatevs” like kan go to a corner give tula some air to breath.

crotuna: BIG NOPE cronus needs to learn fuckin boundaries thirsty fish bastard.

should i even add cro//eri due to the fact he literally asked an eridan out? regardless gross, ew, no, i’ll take the fanon ampora brothers anyday canon i didnt fuckin need that thx.

porrnea: it was implied to be more of a fling. idk considerin aranea’s track record i cant really say i’d trust her in many flushed quads. and porrim seems the type to have hers open and not a closed off thing so idk they got different cases.

aranea/jake: i cant deny it’s fuckin cute, i’d would’ve loved if they tried to do somethin but aranea was definietly uhhh not a good choice for jake. least she backed off when he didnt wanna be kissed but man yeah, it was cute while it lasted.

kurmeu: i cant deny the idea kur forced himself quiet due to hurting meu hurts me in a sweet way but as of rn them bein ‘pale’ and him mind controllin her when we dunno if she’s alright with this or not is...disturbing.

vristerezi: i am HIGHLY doubtful this is canon considering everything but i guess i gotta cement this. i dont see em as canon in og or sequal wise since vris is still gone in both, even then i dont like, see it, i see it but idk man i like em more pale then pail.

erifef: honestly no. both are much too different for a relationship, kinda glad they uh...got cut short cause honestly even their moirailship wasnt healthy what’s to say a matespritship would? on BOTH sides mind you.

rosejohn: thank karkat’s shipping board. anyways, i think their cute cause fuck it rose is a bi-con to me, canon wise probably wouldnt work but i’ll take fanon.

vriseri: kinda glad they got cut short of their kismesis cause boi eridan deserves a better one with how shit vriska was in breaking up with him.

johnvris: it was cute, i cant deny i’m soft over how the two talked things about vriska’s life and john’s it’s just kinda cute. it’s obvious tho canon wise with wha john went through it wont work out. would’ve loved if they became moirails tho but o well canon is god i guess.

spadePM: i dont like much of their implications, would be an unhealthy relationship regardless considerin spade’s flushed and PM’s pitch, they deserve some therapy and other people.

dadbert/momlonde: their cute i like the implications of em, sad they died though, it was cute while it lasted.

meowrails: may aswell count moirails in this shipping mess. anyways their cute, they gimmie sibling vibes course equius early into it was so...not a good moirail.

kurtuna: i guess it might be cute moirails? idk tho with kurloz’s implications it concerns me.

gamkar: as moirails...karkat was fuckin shit at his job i cant sugarcoat it. i get where it’s from he’s not gam’s lusus and shouldn’t be forced to check on him during his time of gettin high and such, i get they were kids, but god gam kinda deserved a better moirail. and then later on in the series it gets more fucked up between kar gettin stabbed by him and both in a pretty unhealthy moirailationship to the fixed timeline where gamzee is just shut into a fridge and kar doesnt fuckin care, like dude, wow. gamzee was bad yeah but damn, harsh a tad.

terezigam: as a kismesis it’s almost disgustingly unhealthy to me and honestly terezi deserved better and gamzee maaaaybe shouldn’t get a kismesis, ever, unless he can sort his shit out -the sequals tho wont do that lol-

minorly gonna count johndave in this: idk if i can see john reciprocating for dave so dave’s crush on him almost kinda hurts, especially since fixed timeline dave’s john is well, dead and our john is probably still different from his john, has angst but man i kinda dont mind it as a one sides crush it’s nice confirmation of dave bein bi atleast.

nepetajasper/jasprose: i cant see it, it’s disturbing i guess. i like em more as friends but jasprose is probably more creepy bout it.

signless/diciple: i think considerin the implications they were fuckin adorable and deserved the best.

summoner/mindfang: it’s kinda sad considerin its implied mindfang’s love for him might’ve been one sided, they could’ve been cute tho.

orphanor/mindfang: probably sounded like the best kismesis’s until he murdered dolorosa.

dolorosa/mindfang: BIG NOPE i dun like the implications.

condence/orphaner: since it’s implied orphaner had a crush on her, gonna say tho big nope considerin condence is a bitch.

condence/lord english: its hard to decipher their relationship in canon, but to cover all my bases it’s big nope to me somethin bout it makes me uncomfy despite both bein bastards.

#home stuck #hs #the pink one speaks

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seijch · 4 years

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just binge read ur previous asks for the sleepover and i was very much entertained😌 how would ur top 3 ACTUALLY dress? like we always see those “outfits the hq boys would wear” but they seem so... unrealistic😭🤚

whack me w a pillow or smth (sleepover event)

OK HI I WAS THINKING ABT THIS MY WHOLE SHIFT N ENDED UP HAVING ENOUGH BRAINROT TO TYPE A WHOLE THING IN THE NOTES APP SO HERE WE GO!!! 😈💯

ok im typing this after finishing the post but i rlly like the way this came out so everyone please read it if you want to see me brainrot over konoha kenji n kuroo ...

KONOHA is definitely a man who Knows his essentials ... knows the beauty of sweatpants and joggers and knows that he looks Good in a solid colored tee (but doesnt shy away from print ... its just that if you open his closet its literally black white n the occasional pop of color) i would LOVE to say he accessorizes but no he doesnt 💔💔 its his fatal flaw too ..... dont be shy aki let me buy you one of those chain bracelets!!!!! those are sexy as fuck and i PROMISE they would make him look even better!!!!!!! in general he gives me big silver or white gold vibes even if i cant see him wearing jewelry on his own :/ its ok if he were to date me id make him come around to the idea ...

he gives white air max 90 or air force 1 vibes does that make sense . if anything has color in his fit its maybe some print on his shirt but if not its DEFINITELY his shoes ... i was thinking abt this but i think hed look good in the bel air jordan 5s but maybe thats just bc i wanted to get a pair NJFKDSFS if we want to get a little less realistic (i mean not rlly bc i know ppl who do this) he probably keeps up w supreme drops n its less to resell and more to get the clothes at retail price which is MUCH more reasonable than resell (i think its 40 for a shirt? idk my friend keeps up w it n i love to hear him brainrot but that doesnt mean i retain ALL the information 🤕)

:: go-to outfit? say it with me ... white shirt/crewneck sweater if it’s cold with sweats. if he needs to dress it up, hell throw on some plaid or switch it up w some nice jeans. unlike the other two he has a good idea of how to dress throughout his life which makes looking Back a much . easier experience compared to the other two LMAO

FUTAKUCHI swears by the denim gods when he needs to actually Care abt his outfits and im MAD abt it bc how dare he look good .... im going to fucking kill him 🪓🪓🪓🪓 the image of kenji in a denim jacket w a hoodie underneath n some ripped jeans haunts my every waking moment you dont understand......... hes ALSO a plaid man which pisses me off even more .... but im going to be honest he uses outerwear to hide the fact that theres definitely a hole in the armpit of his favorite shirts ... hes had them since high school kenji PLEASE buy some new shirts!!!! probably suffers in summer bc he cant wear jackets n stuff without looking weird (has definitely said hes wearing plaid For The Fit when in reality its bc theres a stain on the back of his shirt from when he sat in bird shit. its Artistic baby speak your truth!!!)

at least you can convince konoha to wear jewelry if you keep at it ... while i think kenji gives silver vibes over gold i dont think you would be able to convince him to wear it unless youve already bought it and basically ambush him with it JKSDFDS if anything i think hed settle for those leather bracelets ... its ok his ego is fragile ❤ shoe wise idk he gives me vans vibes (so does konoha but he also looks like a nike stan so i said that instead). if he lives somewhere cold he probably owns a pair of those classic wheat colored timbs (You Know The Ones)

i can tell you RIGHT NOW that in elem and junior high he was one of those kids w the neon athletic fits that took pe too serious when he got in the groove 😐 shut the fuck up n pass me the ball kenji were in fourth grade i shouldnt be failing PARTICIPATION in PE 🗣🗣🗣

:: go-to outfit? a rlly comfy denim jacket (hell let you borrow it if you bitch enough n hell be like Sigh . The Things I Do For You but when you slip it on hes abt to combust) w a shirt that probably has a chili stain at the hem of it n ripped jeans. the white slip on vans. i hate that he looks good.

KUROO is . idk i feel like hes a lot harder to pin down but he probably shopped at hot topic in middle school 💔 is this projection? maybe. am i WRONG abt it tho ... ANYWAY like everyone who grows out of that phase, he has Taste ... post college or just at the club i KNOW he understands the effect a slightly unbuttoned black shirt has 👁 prob rode the eboy wave bc he thought the fashion was nice so he might have a few of those clunky rings ... rarely wears them but bitch he SHOULD!!!! otherwise, i think he keeps it pretty simple! lots of hoodies and sweaters bc if he has no one to rlly impress hes big on comfort. owns a good amt of athleleisure (is that how you spell that hjkdfds) bc he does work out regularly but if you were to come across him during an 8am lecture i can guarantee all he did before coming to class is brush his teeth ...

unfortunately not a chain man but while his rings may be black (yk like black titanium) or silver, if he were to wear a chain i think hed be fine with either silver or gold! i personally think hed look good in either 🙈 shoe wise i rlly cannot pin him down ... for running im seeing him leaning towards nike shoes but i like . cannot tell what hed wear regularly SHJFKDS

what i CAN say is that when he was younger (and i mean until his second year of high school) he was one of Those Kids that wore the Quirky printed button ups but like . this time its not a compliment . in junior high he definitely thought those ... and it PAINS ME PHYSICALLY to say this ...... fingerless gloves were the coolest things around ..... i hate that i had to google that now im going to get ads for hot topic

:: go-to outfit? black hoodie w maybe some design or print on it w sweats or jeans (like konoha hell dress it up or down depending on where youre going). if you make him wear them hell even bust out the eboy rings he bought forever ago <33 i think later in life when hes more sure of himself (and i mean like after hs ... hes good in his 3rd year but i feel like hell still deflect compliments in the form of teasing and not believe it in 3rd year) he Knows he looks good so he doesnt rlly have to try unless you want to be That Couple that takes over the world one fit at the time ... in the end the only one he wants to impress is you 🙈

#BITCH THIS ENDED UP SO FUCKING LONG I SWEAR IT TOOK ME OVER AN HOUR TO TYPE EVERYTHING OUT ESP BC I ONLY HAD HALF THE POST TYPED IN THE NOTE #is this realistic i hope so #i tried to peoplewatch at work but i forgot no one around here knows how to dress #starting a gofundme to buy kenji some new fucking SHIRTS!!!!!#anyway i didnt realize i had this much Rot its a little concerning .#thank you for giving me an outlet bc i dont think ive thought abt this for very long before this ask #super sesxy sleepover #abby 🧨#💌 love letters

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-04-13

Happy 4/13 upd8! Glimpsed part of the title when I was checking but otherwise blind.

Time to liveblog this quickly and pile into RevScarecrow’s first-readthrough stream of Cascade. It REALLY hurts to see him tortured having to read through long conversations with dyslexia, but at least he gets to draw purer enjoyment out of the huge flashes.

EDIT: Added an important clarification from a friend to the bottom, regarding the tail end of the upd8.

Well here we go. Whose daughter? Candy Vrissy as Rose/Kanaya’s? Or some weirder metaphorical Roxy/RoboRose thing.

> CHAPTER 8. A Daughter Astray

Huh, not where I thought we’d start a chapter named like that. We can’t leave Candy so soon after cutting to it though.

JANE: Assassinations, open warfare, so-called "revolution," and where has everyone gone? JANE: They've ABANDONED me. They've taken our precious son. And now...

Are we going to see some of the beginnings of John’s plan in action, from her perspective?

> (==>)

Steven King novels??? Like an IT joke? Sure, I guess?

DIRK: Itadakimasu.

I mean he would. Especially the Jake-imagined version of him.

JANE: "An eye for an eye." JANE: Once we have rescued our son from their clutches, I'm going to take something of my own; something as valuable to the rebellion as Tavvy is to me. JANE: Two can play at the hostage game. That loathsome daughter of theirs should fit the bill nicely.

Okay. That’s certainly a plan, I guess.

Wow, she really runs everything by the seat of her pants, doesn’t she.

(She seems less murderous than usual now that the spotlight of HS^2 is on her instead of Epilogue darkness, though, all things considered. Walking back some of the negativity of the Epilogues in general. That’s the impression I get anyway.)

> (Kids: Converse.)

Vriska, come on.

--Oh! Oh and there’s:

That middle photo! Harry, Roxy, and Calliope hanging out, yes! Glad to see Candy Roxy and Callie were definitely not as distant as they appeared throughout the Epilogues when we were being convinced everything was going out-of-character as a Meat!Callie-written fanfic instead of what Roxy would plausibly actually do. (Which... it kinda was, so they need to soften the blow by showing not everything was ruined by the way it was written.)

((And there are lots of cats everywhere, but this is outside Harry’s room so it’s all Roxy, no classpect.))

HARRY ANDERSON: so... HARRY ANDERSON: um. vriska? VRISKA: The one and o........ VRISKA: (Ughhhhhhhh) VRISKA: I mean, yeah. That's me!!!!!!!!

It’s hard to get enough of Vriska’s irritation with her reduced relevance.

VRISKA: From now on your name is just Harry. HARRY: o... k?

Dick move, but I have to thank you for shortening his chat handle there.

HARRY: but um, yeah. john and roxy are my parents.

Yeah, deal with that, Vriska. Nice job wooing John. :)

Aaaand then Harry’s Egbert genes kick in and he starts going off on a tangent describing a piece of media he likes with a situation barely mappable onto this one.

HARRY: ok, so have you ever seen the musical calamity jane? HARRY: i guess you probably haven't. HARRY: but so there's this part at the beginning, where the title character comes back from chicago, and she talks to all of the old-timey locals about how bizarre and new-fangled everything was, and VRISKA: Godddddddd it really is like talking to teenage John all over again. VRISKA: No I haven't seen Chastity Jane or whatever the stupid title was. It sounds like a total snooze!!!!!!!!

Calamity Jane and Chastity Jane. Probably means nothing.

VRISKA: And anyway, what are you trying to say? VRISKA: That I sound outd8ed?

HA. Now you’re a boomer! Eat that Vriska.

HARRY: i mean, we've done stage fighting before, but never the real stuff. HARRY: but i bet i could learn. i took kickboxing with my mom for a month and half when i was nine.

Yaaay Roxy-style martial ar-- oh wait only a month and a half, huh?

We’ll have to see if he’s really as inexperienced and kinda-thinking-too-well-of-himself as he looks, or if this is all just a joke setup for when he proves to be pretty combat capable later.

VRISKA: He totally freaked out the first time I told him I killed some8ody. HARRY: haha, that sounds like my dad.

Harry and Vrissy look clearer together by the minute, dynamic-ways.

But now he's not so sure. Ever since hearing that one of his dad's old friends had turned up, that border between past and present has felt fainter by the minute. And as they talk, he begins to think that Vriska seems so much... fresher. More real. An actual, authentic, bona fide god from another universe. Harry can’t imagine his dad even talking to someone like her, let alone punching her in the face.

Freaking out about murder, though; that's definitely something Harry can see his father doing.

Kind of like a fresh breath of relevance, huh? I mean Vriska had to carry a little in with her.

HARRY: i'm not allowed ONE vriska in my bedroom. HARRY: i don't even want to THINK about how much trouble i'll be in if she finds out i had TWO of them up there.

PFFFF.

And Roxy grew up the kind of mom to set those limits, huh? Nice. She’s definitely proving a less lonely and inscrutable mom than she was to Rose. (And Rose had the additional disadvantages of Horrorterror- and Gamzee-induced fear- and certainty-amplification to help drive her to believe her mother hated her, on TOP of all of Mom’s glaring flaws/abuses vis-a-vis drunken responsibility-aversion.)

HARRY: of course i am freaking out vriska! HARRY: i'm freaking out what i think is probably a good amount about this. the fashionable amount of freaking out.

I’m starting to really take a liking to this asshole.

HARRY: he's going to absolutely flip his fucking lid if he ever finds out about this!! HARRY: or worse, it might just make him as miserable as before, and he'll be really disappointed in me, and then he'll just leave again, or... or SOMETHING!!

Auugh. God damnit, Past!John, raising him to believe this. Luckily, Current!John will most likely disabuse him of the notion at least SOMEWHAT by the end of this story.

BECAUSE JELLICLES CAN AND JEEEEEEELLICLES DO JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN JELLICLES CAN AND JEEEEEELLICLES HARRY: oh fuck.

Why is he hiding the CATS poster in his room, but has a whole ringtone set up with it? Either a global one or a John-specific one?

Is it John-specific because he has to outwardly play it cool about how much he loves and needs his dad, just like Cats?

VRISSY: Check it out, someone's already cospl8ying my fit from tod8y.

Oh nice! Inborn popularity at work.

VRISSY: Good? It's Infuri8ing!!!!!!!! VRISSY: UGH! So many f8ke accounts pretending to 8e me. Stealing my hard-earned Clout. Fakey f8ke F8KES.

Mhmm, why give up any attention? She wouldn’t want to share it.

VRISSY: Damn Right it's import8nt Tavros! Image is a8out as Important as it gets.

(classpect blah blah)

VRISSY: Relax Tavvy. VRISSY: You're starting to Sweat Nervously. You know I H8te it when you Swe8t Nervously. TAVROS: Thank you,, VRISSY: Th8t wasn't a Fucking H8mance Complim8nt, I do genuinely Hate it and not in a Fun Way. TAVROS: Oh,, TAVROS: I'm,, sorry,,,, VRISSY: Ugh. Whatever. VRISSY: I'm just... 8eing a 8itch. Forget about it.

Look how INCREDIBLY much more mature Vrissy is right here than Vriska ever was.

And Vrissy’s understandably a lot more worried than we are about Vriska moving in on Harry. Even though with Vriska’s experience she would hardly be likely to see anything in him to--

Oh. Fuck, what am I saying. Of COURSE Vriska would be tempted to move in if it meant stealing attention from Vrissy. I keep forgetting this is ORIGINAL VRISKA we’re talking about. That’s got to be a conflict at some point, right?

TAVROS: I know you don't like to talk about these kinds of things,, TAVROS: Having said, on previous occasions, stuff like,, TAVROS: "Feelings are for adults and babies, not real people," TAVROS: And i'm not,, necessarily, saying that you have some unaddressed feelings, TAVROS: But,, maybe if we're going to be around her, TAVROS: You should try to be honest, about the feelings, that you don't have,,

Nailed it like a true Tavros.

VRISSY: It's Something about the W8y she Looks at him. VRISSY: The Rest of us too. VRISSY: Like we're not even Real.

That’s right. Making it important that you be extra careful that she doesn’t hurt you, because she’ll undoubtably or neglectfully TRY.

VRISSY: And to 8e Honest, I think I Understand why! VRISSY: Everything Here is so dwee8ish and 8oring!!!!!!!!

A little more complicated than that, Vrissy.

TAVROS: Because you're worried harry anderson thinks she's cooler than you,, TAVROS: Because you're jealous,,,, VRISSY: W8. VRISSY: What? VRISSY: No! VRISSY: Tavros, were you Listening to 8NYTHING I was Just Saying? VRISSY: I'm not worried a8out Harry Fucking 8nderson right now! VRISSY: Hell, I'm so Unconcerned that I think I'm going to start just calling him Harry from now on! It'll Save Everyone a lot of Valua8le Time! VRISSY: Listen Tavros, Vriska will get 8ored of Harry in a Heart8eat! VRISSY: That's the whole point!!!!!!!! VRISSY: She shouldn't 8e w8sting her Time on someone like Him! VRISSY: SHE SHOULD BE T8LKING T8 ME!!!!!!!!

Hm, jealous of the attention Vriska’s giving Harry, not the other way around. Huh!

And here come the Crocker cops...

> (Harry: Pick up.)

Wait, I don’t understand this picture. Who are those two silhouettes outside? Isn’t this Roxy’s house? (Is that Jake facing away on the left? Them being already here would be pretty good reason for alarm.)

HARRY: ok everyone, my dad's calling. HARRY: if he finds out you're here then he will definitely put two and two together, so PLEASE just keep quiet and let me do the talking.

Is John going to play along? That could be fun.

Hm. If Harry hasn’t turned off his phone’s signal, then that could be a way Jane can find and use him to find Vrissy. (Or already have.)

HARRY: er, HARRY: hi dad. VRISKA: HI JOHN!!!!!!!! VRISSY: Hi Mister Eg8ert!!!!!!!!! HARRY: oh god dammit.

THEIR NEED FOR ATTENTION BYPASSES ALL SURVIVAL INSTINCT.

JOHN: HELLO SON! JOHN: I AM JOHN: SO JOHN: VERY JOHN: PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!! HARRY: JOHN: PHEW, that felt good to say. JOHN: or to yell, i guess. heheh. JOHN: sorry about that, harry anderson. JOHN: i just didn't think i'd be seeing your handiwork all over the news quite so soon!

Yeah, John really needs to take a page or two out of his Dad’s playbook right now! Because Harry really fucking doubts that his father is proud of him, and John’s Dad would never have let him come under such a misconception.

JOHN: it looks like you tried to pull one of the biggest pranks i can think of. JOHN: and it backfired! HARRY: y... yeah. JOHN: but that's ok!!! JOHN: it could have happened to the best of us. JOHN: ok, so maybe it wasn't the most original idea. JOHN: and you should probably have steered clear of such a blatant nod to weekend at bernie's without seriously planning some of the logistics in advance.

John, please stop so aggressively framing this in terms of YOUR interests.

JOHN: heh. two vriskas is NOTHING. JOHN: when i was your age i lost count of all the vriskas i had to keep track of. JOHN: it was probably some preposterous number.

¬_¬”

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being.

Harry could really use some reassurance from YOU you know? That you’re working to make sure he’ll be okay through all this?

JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today. HARRY: dad... if you wanted me to KILL tavros, you only had to ask. TAVROS: (Um,,,) HARRY: couldn't resist.

What? Moved for custody in the divorce?

I feel like the divorce is SOMEHOW involved in whatever John is referring to here. Even though the Epilogues say that Jane initiated it. Maybe we’ll find out later that in the cut from then to now, Jane apologized a bit and didn’t go through with it, but he still had the papers to finalize it, or? No, that doesn’t quite add up with what Jake was afraid of before... hm.

> (==>)

Oh, the paparazzi. THAT’S a problem.

JOHN: the word "fuck" was invented for moments like this.

Nothing to comment on, just had to quote it.

JOHN: some guidelines that any budding prankster or newly fledged fugitive should know. JOHN: don't panic, JOHN: don't make a scene, JOHN: and whatever you do... JOHN: don't get caught!!

This is a reference to something, right?

> (High above the clouds...)

Jesus, that’s a visual. Hi, probably-the-only-source-of-happiness-between-Kanaya-and-Rose-we-might-have-onscreen-up-until-the-very-end. (Are those cat chairs, or just headrests with lil horns?)

As the world seethes with the acid sting of war, they have stood steadfast and resolute; when hope has seemed at its most distant, they have shone as a beacon of possibility.

Further cementing Hope’s ties to possibility, then.

Individually, they each represent immeasurable gains for the rebel faction. The rebellion's stratagems have never had a fiercer bite; their uniforms have never looked so fucking sharp.

Why you gotta do Kanaya like that, narrative?

> (==>)

Full glow? Kanaya must be nervous.

(I don’t think this short hair on Rose quite does the justice that short hair on her should. I suppose it’s punk to match her clothes, though. Still, I feel like short hair should look SO GOOD on Rose and the style chosen just doesn’t here.)

ROSE: I just wish I had answers!! My useless powers aren't being any help, and what's worse, ROSE: I can't see ANYTHING useful on this stupid news channel!!

I can imagine that a Seer of Light might find it harder to operate in a realm long void of most of its relevance, not to mention whatever measure of strength she gave up to concede herself into the “specific” and not ult-self manifest... but there are two Thieves of Light involved here and no Void players, beyond this being at Roxy’s house. Are they really stealing that much visibility from the situation to not blaze like beacons in Rose’s vision?

ALFONZ: excuse me mA'Ams

I don’t know how to feel about this troll’s name or quirk.

Kanaya’s ending every sentence with a shout pole, by the way.

> (==>)

ALFONZ: the reconnAissAnce teAm is bAck eArly, mA'Ams ALFONZ: the ship docked A few moments Ago ROSE: And the scouting party??? ALFONZ: i expect she's Zipping her wAy up here now, mA'Am

Karkat and Meenah? That’s just a singular “she”-- ah fuck it’s Jade isn’t it. The Jade here who had Dave ditch her suddenly to become a robot and abscond without telling her. That’s why there was so much talk about Jade in the background today, dammit. Please still be generally not despairing???

> (==>)

What is that bulky suit????? Is it seven layers of sweaters? Was she scouting the arctic??

> (==>)

Angry camo?

> (==>)

KANAYA: Jade It Is Okay JADE: its........ JADE: *sniffle* KANAYA: Please Take Your Time JADE: we dont HAVE any time!!! JADE: its too late!!!!!! JADE: janes forces were just too fast... KANAYA: Oh No ROSE: You don't mean... JADE: theyve taken her

Jade, you aren’t talking about Vrissy. Who the fuck ARE you talking about? Is this gonna be a punchline again?

> (==>)

JADE: THEYVE TAKEN YIFFY!!!!!!! D:

Okay, I’m hoping for the best but there’s precedent that this is Jade in full fucking despair mode right now. Having named pets like that and being this concerned about them.

Then again, if Dave and Jade had a pet they WOULD name it that wouldn’t they.

> (==>)

Sigh.

Well, let’s hope it’s mostly sunshine and rainbows on Jade’s front, unlike what it looks like?

That can be a caption for HS^2 going into the next two thirds of 2020 like this. “Let’s hope it’s mostly sunshine and rainbows.” Catch y’all another time.

EDIT: Oh fucking MAN, it might not be a pet after all. Quoting Discord:

[REDACTED] Today at 5:20 PM there’s a reason Rose knows but Kanaya wouldn’t possibly and look back at the chapter title BlastYoBoots Today at 5:21 PM I'll... correct that possibility. Did NOT realize it could have been a pet name for Dave instead of a pet. wait, what? no, they'd never have named a daughter that, Dave is NOT that cruel. (unless it could be nickname-shortened to that, that's just enough plausible deniability for Dave to hide behind.) [REDACTED] Today at 5:22 PM If it were a pet name for Dave, why would they use she/her in reference to him? JANE: Two can play at the hostage game. That loathsome daughter of theirs should fit the bill nicely. BlastYoBoots Today at 5:22 PM oh, and you're implying that the surrogate daughter thing happened with Jade and Rose-- [REDACTED] Today at 5:22 PM yes BlastYoBoots Today at 5:22 PM OH, and that they meant like, not Vrissy? [REDACTED] Today at 5:23 PM perhaps BlastYoBoots Today at 5:23 PM Why would Rose NOT tell Kanaya about her then? or is Kanaya just not interested in keeping up to date? [REDACTED] Today at 5:23 PM unless the yiffy ruse is a distaction BlastYoBoots Today at 5:23 PM it would be a pretty spectacular thing to spring on us though, a child the epilogues didn't mention, so...

SO, this could be a cheeky pet name for their daughter, who we’ve never met and Jane just legitimately planned to kidnap in front of us. Making Davebot’s abandonment of this timeline all the more dickish, essential as it might be. On the upside, new interesting HS^2-original characters that have nothing explicitly to do with the epilogues! (Beyond Jade hinting at how a surrogate child would be conceived possibly!) Plus another reason for Jade to steel herself and buck up about Dave not being there, to take care of her daughter, possibly. On the downside... Robo!Dave is going to be a little infuriating. Maybe to make him a little more palatable to miss if he goes down doing anything dramatic.

((EDIT2: "ROSE: Where is John? KANAYA: Where Is Dave" --ah FUCK, I missed that line. So if Kanaya's asking that, Dave probably only just vanished... I really was hoping she wouldn't have to deal with that onscreen.))

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots

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eye-of-enigmatic-thought · 4 years

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2019, a retrospective to this year and decade

Long post in-comin’

I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really sure how to describe this year and by extension, this decade, I guess that’s to be expected in a way, so many things can happen in 365 or more days to the point of a information overload, but I suppose the best way to describe this year was ‘complicated yet also stale’. Not much happened in the beginning aside from therapy and support group appointments, which were pleasant albeit I don’t remember much from them aside from drawings I’ve done that I showed to the other members, nothing of significance happened that I can recall during the middle of the year, and around near the end I took part in art therapy groups that I managed to make a few friends out of (though I sadly don’t chat with them often), at September I was beginning to try and get into college after being out of education for a year and managed to enrol (though court issues made me miss the first five weeks that I had to quickly catch up to), most of my memories of this year actually came from college.

College has been going good, so far! I have been learning a lot and my tutors are very kind, of course it can get stressful due to the long days I have and also due to some of my more rowdier peers, but I’ve managed to also befriend a few others that I am very happy to have met. Currently I’m in my break and I will use it to advantage as much as I can to post as much art as I can.

Also, I’ve just recently been exploring my gender, and well, I’m now transmasc rather than a demigirl, I still go by whatever pronoun and still see myself as nonbinary, but I am more masculine leaning now? I guess I might be a ‘demiboy’ but I still feel a bit more ‘fluid’ than that, sooo... masculine leaning demifluid? I dunno, but overall I’m not a girl anymore! :D

Rebirth is still being rewritten, admittedly I haven’t been focusing entirely on it due to some things in the way, but some of that is now gone so really my only enemy is my lack of motivation and poor time management, but even times where I’m not writing and/or editing the rewrite I’m still thinking of how I want certain scenes to go or what things I want the characters to say, so it’s still being worked on! I do feel incredibly bad that I haven’t been doing a lot of my Undertale-related stuff lately or even attempting to at least finish off the HS’ blog’s first arc (I at LEAST wanna finish that arc before I go on a official hiatus to fully know what to do with it), but you can rest assured that I have NOT forgotten about it and I do want to continue on with it, I guess that’s probably one of my goals for 2020, ‘more Undertale fanart’, yes, good, very good, mwahahahaha.

And now, a little something more personal, mostly in regards to this decade as a whole. Warning for mentions and discussions of pedophilia, bullying, suicide, and trauma for the next three or so paragraphs.

(Warning starts here)

My memories from around the beginning of this decade are hazy, but very notable, I’m not going to sugarcoat it by saying that from 2010-2013 were some of my worst years of my life, I was only 11-14 around this time, but when I wasn’t going through awful bullying at school that the teachers did nothing about, I would come back home to a toxic friend circle on DeviantArt that was filled with constant irrelevant drama and some REALLY creepy adults that would do smut rps with the minors in our group. Thankfully I never was a victim of this due to mostly staying in my corner and didn’t interact with others much, but I saw it happen to many of the other minors in said group, it left me disturbed but I rationalised it by thinking it was just some ‘teenager thing’ that I was too young for (because I was a little cretin that lied about my age and said I was 13 when I was really 11 when I first signed up haha), it was only when I was late into being 17 I realised ‘Oh my god the people who I called my friends and RP’d with were pedophiles and groomed the other minors what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’.

This whole shitty ordeal with that dA friend circle and the constant bullying I went through in secondary school were so bad that it literally led me to have a suicide attempt at the age of 13, I survived of course, and I’m really glad I did, because I wouldn’t have met friends that through them I would manage to get away and abandon the old dA group because ‘fuck you guys I have BETTER FRIENDS NOW!’ Unfortunately all of that dA friend circle are now deactivated or are no longer active with all the evidence deleted so there’s no use making a callout or name dropping any of them or even searching for the other minors in attempt to rekindle with them (and I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it in that regard...), but I did find out that one of them who was a pedophile apologist at one point commissioned a ton of Darkrai pregnancy porn with one of it being fucking mpreg, so I can at least get a laugh from that shit, doubt she’s reading this but if you are...

You may be gone, but your darkrai mpreg porn will live on FOREVER... Forever for ME to laugh at!!! >8DDD So anyway get rekt and suck my non-existent dick you fucking creep.

(Warning ends here)

Phew alright, all that nasty stuff out of the way... 2014 was where things began to improve, I had moved secondary schools and I switched from a mainstream to a specialist school for other autistic children and I found the people who would become my closest friends, through one of them I also got a tumblr blog, and when Undertale came around (so late 2015 to around 2016 when the fandom was most active), through it’s fandom I managed to gain really kind and lovely friends that I love dearly, it’s somewhat strange to me, in the beginning since childhood I never had any close friends and the only ‘close’ ones I had were ones that either kept me around out of pity (because I was a awkward autistic kid), kept me around to constantly bully and push my buttons, or (in this case with the dA friend circle) were potential predators that I thankfully was never THAT close to, and actual close ones I lost contact with too quickly, to this day I’m so thankful for these friends and I dunno if they’d be comfortable with me namedropping them here, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are <333.

I of course had rough patches throughout the years, recovery from my traumas wasn’t easy and I was constantly having issues with pretty much everything from my mental health problems to environmental factors that were out of my control, I’m not going to go into detail on this one because this post is long enough already, but I am much better now than how I was when I was younger, I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved and I hope I can still improve, hell, I’ve even improved my art! Wanna see an example?

I drew this back in 2011 on mspaint on a mouse! Yeah! Can you believe that? Whilst to me my art right now isn’t exactly ‘artist goals’ I have definitely improved a lot since!! And I’ll keep on improving forever because that’s what this decade was like anyway! I’m not sure what the future holds, but I want to set these goals for next year:

Create more digital art Finish my unfinished short comic ideas and parodies Continue to chip away at Rebirth’s rewrite and finish Hissterical Scientist’s first arc. Work on my original stuff Continue to improve my mental health Get proper time management skills Learn to do commissions (I be gettin munz lol) Thank you to all my friends and family who have helped support me and stuck by me throughout all these years, I am so happy I get to spend a life with you and I hope we’ll continue to go through the future together, you mean so much to me and I can’t say thank you enough. Thank you to any followers who have sticked by me for so long and if you’re new, I hope we’ll make memories together!

Onward and upward, and leave behind the pain! <3

#tara's text

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analytic-chaoticism · 5 years

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Who’s Going To Die In The Homestuck Epilogue Tomorrow?

Homestuck is finally ending for real now so, obviously, somebody is staring down the barrel of Hussie’s final Chekhov’s gun, except also for real now. After 10 years, the shed wall has more bullet holes than wood knots and the proverbial horse stands dutifully awaiting the next shot in a series of hundreds, but it might actually get put out of its misery forever this time, with John and Vriska - in my mind - the most obvious candidates for permadeath. I’ll briefly discuss the (de)merits of both outcomes - and how both could (maybe, hopefully, please?) be averted - under the cut.

For context, I’m assuming that John will meet Terezi and Vriska at the Green Sun/Black Hole before he goes gallivanting with them through time and space.

We’ve known John Egbert for 10 years and for all the characters and perspective switching we’ve done since 4/13/2009, he is our protagonist. Homestuck is a story about breaking free from fated suffering - the will of Lord English - and becoming an independent agent, so it should only make sense that the main character is an embodiment of that freedom: the Heir of Breath.

It’s for this reason that John dying forever at the end of it all - having survived the death of his dad, an omnicidal dog god, the reset of reality, misadventure in the bubbles, a solo retcon journey through Paradox Space, a fight with Caliborn and another on the horizon, killing the Condesce, and making it to Earth C - would be really bad narratively and philosophically! There are no merits! Let’s go over why it Just Won’t Happen.

1. As the quintessential bildungsroman character (a story requiring the survival of its protagonist to gain experience of the world, find their place in it, and mature with hope for the future) and audience surrogate, killing him in the final act would just be bad writing. It goes against the story’s holistic narrative and philosophical arc and totally undermines Act 7 thematically.

2. In a story about overcoming fated suffering, the depressed character with the most repressed trauma - who represents freedom and is working to help everyone escape that suffering - dying without coming to terms with sadness and reconciling with his friends and purpose to find happniness? It’s even worse writing. The only possible merit to his death is having to directly confront that trauma in a super sadstuck way; what stakes will it take for him to overcome his disaffected ennui, right? But killing him is a real shitty way of dealing with those problems. Dying with regret is just... super lame. It could be said many characters die with possible regret in HS but if a character doesn’t at some point get revived in one way or another and their death served a purpose, then, on word of God, they just weren’t that important.

3. It defies the narrative of fantastical escapism. At one of its many cores, Homestuck is a story about kids playing a crazy game about wish fulfillment: bringing the dead back to life, meeting their friends, having an adventure, and becoming super heroes. As the Heir of Breath, especially with the retcon powers, John is ALL ABOUT fantastical escapism. John dying for suffering, subverting escapism, is 100% counterintuitive thematically. Super unsatisfying conclusion to his arc.

4. People cite this scene with Scratch as evidence that John is going to have a permanent heroic death one day, but I would argue that the metaphysical way in which John would permanently be tying himself to the narrative to ‘maintain canonicity’ (whatever the FUCK that entails) would be a little bit more than a Just or Heroic thing. For me, this was more about Scratch acknowledging John as - though not infallible personally - a totally good guy. And note that reference to Vriska and her ‘Justness’ at the end there:

Instead, I imagine the whole situation, despite the seeming distinction between Meat and Candy, COULD go something a little more like this -

A story that is just meat - dense with exposition, action, violence, and tension (plotcentric) - is bad, and a story that is just candy - light with fluff, fanservice, frivolity, and comfort (charactercentric) - is bad. In isolation neither is of consequence to the reader, and reader investment is what this whole epilogue and the quest to avoid ‘dissipation’ is about. You need both to develop the other in a healthy and satisfying way, ultimately producing a well-developed set of characters. Homestuck is the best story of all time and it’s been meat and candy all the way, I don’t foresee that changing. For me, the ‘dual epilogue’ is a 1+1=3 situation. Typheus’ choice for John here was a practice for a metacosmic-scale third option regarding the meat/candy ‘binary’ he’s faced with now.

The whole story, John - though he represents freedom - has never made his own choice besides in this moment. He’s gone on quests for prophets, just like he’s doing now, and done whatever people told him or expected him to do. Becoming a free agent is the capstone of his character arc and what better way to realize that than assuming control of the narrative and Doing Whatever You Want For Real - the Ultimate Riddle (as many people theorize) which I imagine we’ll see more of soon being ‘do as you will.’

But let’s imagine that John does become in every way a martyr for the narrative itself in a Christ-like sacrifice befitting of the Easter Sunday I will probably be reading this upd8 on. How could he get out of it because, trust me, John Is Not Dying Forever:

Transcendence. We’ve descended and ascended, so what comes next?

Juju nonsense. The house or something else, who knows?

Denizen nonsense. I’ll get into this in a second.

A second John takes his place and we get ours back. ‘2 endings,’ right?

The Ultimate Self is gearing up to be important. It’s Jesus 101 people.

So I’m expecting Abraxas, Jake and possibly Karkat’s denizen, to make a significant appearance in the epilogue. The epilogue itself, as the rest of the story, is geared up (with it’s black and white symbolism) to basically revolve around the cherubs which I fully expect to get more lore on. As @revolutionaryduelist details in this video, Abraxas is “technically at the center of Paradox Space, as a deity that represents both everything in the multiverse that exists ever both physically and conceptually,and the very process which leads to the creation of those things.” Abraxas is, as the true god in enlightenment, the opposite of Yaldabaoth, the false god in ignorance: more relevant, truthful, and essential as a deity - representing the 3 pillars of canon. Yaldabaoth was Caliborn’s denizen, giving him the clock and juju he required to assume ultimate power in the first place. It makes sense that Abraxas would have a hand in his undoing. Abraxas also shares a connection with the cherubs physically and metaphorically, and considering the importance of the cherubs, I think it’s safe to assume this similarity will become relevant. In this way, Abraxas could Just Get Up To Some Nonsense to save John (who is related to Typheus, a potentially Christ-like figure within the denizen genealogy as John is to the story). Resurrection of Christ anybody? Our snakey parent who art above Paradox Space? As somebody connected to magic, it also makes sense that Abraxas could pull off the miracle of the century if needs be.

All in all, John’s not dying. So what about...

Vriska?

Vriska dying forever is almost ALL merits. This is NOT because I hate Vriska: she is one of the best characters ever written, has never done anything wrong, if she dies I will weep, and I NEED Vrisrezi to become Earth C endgame, but I can’t deny the narrative quality of a potential sacrifice.

Vriska has never had direct karmic comeuppance for anything she’s done besides Make Her Pay and getting killed by Terezi: all other forms of punishment for her actions were either problems with self-hatred or people she cares about suffering - there’s been little direct consequential action taken against her. Even when She’s 8ack with a second chance she gets to dominate and bully others and still be the leader. And look at what she did to Tavros. That was just mean (but will hopefully be relevant in the epilogue because I love GCATavros oops). Her character is also marred in the emulation of Mindfang, and being an inauthentic individual is a Great Crime in Paradox Space which you could say she has been punished for but we can always squeeze a few more drops out of the cloth. Key to understanding Vriska is knowing that she has little ill will. She said herself, she wants to be a hero. That’s why she’s obsessed with becoming the Most Important Person. She wants to save everyone. It just so happens this conflicts with her selfishness (coming in parts from Spidermom, Mindfang, and her caste) which sweeps people up as collateral damage. The important thing is that she feels really guilty about losing control to her ego/persona and hurting people.

And she turns to John for absolution. For freedom from her circumstance and misery.

EB: i guess i had no idea how different we really were.

EB: what i am hearing is seriously scaring the shit out of me!

AG: Yeah, I know. I wish we didn't have to 8e so different. I'm just trying to 8e honest with you, 8ecause like I said, I have nowhere else to go.

John is ignorant of her culture and her behaviour at large, and his kind, innocent disposition makes him the perfect person to tell her that she hasn’t done anything wrong, or - at least - can become a better person. That’s why his opinion matters so much to her when nobody else’s does.

And even knowing that she’s not a flawless person, she still doesn’t think that she deserved to die. She has never been truly absolved of her guilt, and turning to a stranger - and an alien, whom you manipulate even though NOT doing that is the WHOLE point - to do that for her is cheating in the same way Tricksterism was for the alpha kids.

That said, John does present a genuine avenue of character development and emotional vulnerability for the girl who would become (Vriska). (Vriska) became her own person free of Mindfang’s shadow, having overcome the trauma of her past and the need to be ‘the best,’ which is as close to well-adjusted as we could hope for Vriska to be. But this character arc - a form of redemption itself - ends with the death of (Vriska) with GO!Terezi as Paradox Space collapses around them in the most emotional and romantic moment in storytelling history. John’s effects have yet to take hold on post-retcon Vriska as they did on pre-retcon Vriska starting from the above interaction forward, as Vriska is still a 8ig 8itch. John has come to recognize this, and I’m sure it will come up at some point, perhaps inspiring some kind of change in our anti-heroine.

Sacrificing herself for canonicity - maintaining all relevance EVER in a mostly selfless but still kind of selfish act that represents a major step in a redemption she would never get to complete but may not fully deserve besides - is the perfect end for her personally and thematically. Vriska saving John would be wild after their entire relationship including but not limited to the pivotal moments of their ghosts meeting and him saving her life so she could once again experience relevance in the first place; she’d basically be repaying him: something she has never done willingly for totally selfless reasons in good faith and karma before. Wouldn’t that be the most bittersweet character growth to end on? John would FINALLY be a mechanism for her absolution. It was cheating when John didn’t know her. Now it’s been earned after their relationship has evolved so thoroughly and John sees her for what she is, presumably removing his ability to absolve her from the equation entirely. What a 180 that would be. Her arc would technically be incomplete as a character who never fully matured, but what a beautiful step in that journey to end on. It would also be a form of direct recompense to John, having manipulated him in the past as Scratch alluded to! The (Just) master becomes the (Heroic) student! What a great fuck you to Scratch that would be after he ruined her life and fucked up her personality (so would her surviving to become a better person outside of Scratch’s narrative but we’ll get into that).

Vriska has been primed to destroy the Green Sun for a loooooooong time.

Within the scope of the story before we were introduced to serious meta like ‘dissipation,’ destroying the Green Sun would have been the most significant thing a person could ever do. But there’s a reality beyond Paradox Space and a wider ‘canon’ that needs to be maintained both within and outside of the Green Sun’s influence. Vriska never truly got to cash in on the Green Sun imagery. What if she got a second chance to do so?

Assume in some way that the most significant object within Paradox Space and its resulting black hole eating all of reality - which, as Terezi showed us in the Credits (making it still canon) has something strange at its centre - plays a role in maintaining canonicity. I know, a bit of a gimme, right? Presumably,we’re going to explore the confrontation with Lord English as part of the ‘unloading’ of the house juju. If the mechanism for canonicity lies in all this green mess, we’re killing 2 birds with 1 stone! Her relationship with John serves its original purpose in a newly genuine context and the green sun foreshadowing would finally amount to something.

I think Vriska would be almost perfectly content to die like this. It fulfils her philosophy and places her in canonical lore as the most significant, undeniable hero. As Hussie discusses in the Viz book 4 author notes, one of the dynamics Homestuck revolves around is Vriska inserting herself into everything and the Scourge Sisters’ karmic cycle that arises from that, so wiping it all clean would be a fitting end.

That said, I don’t want Vriska to die forever, because I love her with all my heart and I would never want to do that to Terezi, and Earth C would be way more fun if Vriska got to fully develop as a character with friends outside of canonical restraints/pressures. Let her enjoy candy after a life of meat! (Vriska) got to enjoy candy with Meenah and Terezi after she gave up on meat. Vriska has never had true candy comparatively. All of her relationships and romantic leads have had undertones of contention and manipulation that it would be fantastic to be free of in a new world where she can leave the burdens of ‘importance’ behind. This happening, I feel, is one of (if not the best ways) Hussie can further the commentary on candy being just as important as meat: making someone who has prioritized meat her whole life happy with candy once she learns to let it into her life. Meat is NOT the only important thing, Vriska.

How could she escape dying forever if she wanted to sacrifice herself to save John from doing the same? Sounds pretty final. I can’t imagine the ultimate self is in her near future, she doesn’t have retcon powers, and unless she pulls a juju out of her ass (maybe auryn somehow???) then the only mechanism I can see working is denizen nonsense. Beyond this, we know Terezi would not be content to let Vriska be dead forever. I was thinking maybe, on Earth C once the dust has settled and canon is Gucci, the kids could use their god tier powers to recreate Vriska (Terezi/Dirk for memory and self, life from Jane, a body from Roxy/Jake/Jade etc.) but that might be a long shot. Who knows. But also resurrecting Vriska as a free person in a free world would be... really Cool. Like, wow... what a scene. Ultimately, I think both potentialities would be pretty rad and would make me weep like a baby. I’m open to anything here.

In the end, we’ll see what happens tomorrow! I started Homestuck when I was 12 and its influence on me for the last 6 years as both a person and a creative is incomprehensible. I cannot imagine who I would be without it, and I don’t want to. Making analysis/theory posts and getting involved with community discussion has been one of the best things ever and I’m glad I could squeeze this one in before the end of everything. I’ll have plenty more to write about Homestuck and Hiveswap in the future, but it’s crazy to think this is the end of theorizing for Homestuck proper. Homestuck as a property has plenty more to give and I’ll be here with ideas for all of it :)

Thanks for reading!

#Homestuck #John Egbert #Vriska Serket #Homestuck Spoilers #Homestuck Epilogue #Epilogue #Abraxas #Homestuck theory #My theory #Me

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galaxyacerodoesart · 5 years

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OOOOH BOY. GET READY ‘CUZ HERE COMES ONE LONG ASS POST, FOLKS C’:

OH MY GOD, I can’t believe i’m FINALLY done with this cursed thing. Well… after the first Sanderstuck thing I did, I decided to might as well commit to it fully adlakshdlkahdjah SO. HERE WE HAVE IT.

FULL SPRITE SHEETS OF EVERYONE IN THIS CURSED SANDERS SIDES AU. THAT IS SANDERSTUCK.

Ok, to be completely honest, Those are all just my ideas and all djsakdjaskdl If you have like, a different God-tier for anyone here,

THAT’S GREAT!

:DD It has actually been a few years since I did some good God-tier Analysis and all, so some of my choices might be weird and stuff, but hey, if it makes at least A LITTLE bit of sense, it’s good for me :v

I don’t think I need to say this AU WOULD have them all as Humans/different beings…right? :’v it should be pretty obvious but still. Being a Human AU AND a Homestuck AU, That’s why they each look different from one another, have more “casual” clothes And the reason to why I changed some stuff, Like, YES. I know, Thomas eyes aren’t anywhere near the mint color I gave him, BUT i a Homestuck AU context it makes sense since Eye color = Text color in HS. I could have given him brown eyes buuuut…Brown text wouldn’t be as fun :’) So, he gets a nice mint-green color! Oh, and if anyone is curious, Remy eyes are a Silver-grey color! c: Everyone always thought he was blind whenever they looked at him (he isn’t, his eyesight is a bit sensitive to light, but he can see without any problem) so to stop the staring and questions, he decided to just wear glasses all the time. :o

So, In order, We have the sprite sheets of:

Thomas - Patton - Logan - Roman - Virgil - Deceit(Dolian) - Remy - Emile

Now, Under Read more i’ll put some extra info about each sprite, so if you are truly curious go ahead and read it! c: I must say, this definitely was fun pff, Since I was going more deep into this whole thing, I figured I might as well give their trollsonas signs from the canon extended zodiac Even though, someone like Deceit might still keep the original idea I had for him and not show his sign at all, I made him showing in the sprite just for shows c: And I did change Troll!Virgil horns so they would resemble something more like a lightning bolt, due to the thunderstorm cloud that is his symbol! It was DEFINITELY fun to come up with Emile and Thomas troll desings, since I never did one for them in the past, Thomas being a Bronze blood is simply because…well..he’s a Taurus :’v I was going to make Emile the Bronze Blood first (Not even sure why anymore, Just thought it would fit at first??) but then decided to let Thomas have it and Emile as Mustardblood with psiionics in blue and pink, giving a little nod to both his ties in both cartoon therapy videos c:

Again, this was really fun, pfff If anyone ever want to talk to me about this AU or anything, feel free to! I am mainly doing it for fun, after all c: no matter how cursed I feel it is

Thomas Sprite sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style (AKA. Not that stylized sprite)

“Could be Gayer” Shirt

Steven universe Shirt

RETRIEVE ARMS. (Arms sprite)

Trollsona, Bronze Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Entrepreneur- Taurnius)

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Heir of Hope (Hood down)

God-Tier, Heir of Hope (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (”Gay Bacon” Theme) The idea came to me out of nowhere and it was TOO GOOD to not use PFFT

Patton Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Normal Sprite

Happy boio! (Arms sprite 1)

CAT JACKET ON! (Arms sprite 2)

Trollsona, Jade Blood ( Jade Blood, Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Foundation - Virlo)

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Maid of Heart Because screw gender-roled GTs (Hood down)

God-Tier, Maid of Heart (Hood up)

Grimdark (welp someone is heartbroken.)

Trickster Form (Sweethearts candy Themed, Would probably be the first one to actually go on Trickster mode.)

Logan Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Normal Sprite

“Allow me to pull out the fact to say how wrong you are.” (Arms Sprite)

Trollsona, Teal Blood (True Libra sign - Sign of the Watcher - Libra)

Trollsona, Just for funs, Troll!Logan with canon Terezi Pyrope horns.

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Seer of Mind i can’t believe I literally made Logan Terezi, holy fuck(Hood down)

God-Tier, Seer of Mind (Hood up)

Grimdark (a n g e r y a n d f r u s t r a t i o n . )

Trickster Form (Crumpets with crofters jelly Themed, Well… looks like it isn’t everyone that can get super hyped on a weird sugar overdose-indulced happiness. Huh. AKA: Logan is Basically Dirk and doesn’t get all hyped like every other trickster.)

Roman Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Casual clothes Sprite

Casual Clothes + Arms (Arms Sprite)

Princey outfit

Trollsona, Violet Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Campaigner- Aquaga)

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Knight of Space (Hood down)

God-Tier, Knight of Space (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (Raspberry pie Themed)

Virgil Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style (Though it is still rather complex because I didn’t want to get rid of the plaid…pff)

Standard/Normal Sprite

Ow the angst. (Hood Up, Arms sprite 1)

“I’m not ignoring you, it isn’t my fault that my phone is way more interesting than you right now.” (Arms sprite 2)

Trollsona, Purple Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Bold - Capries) If you think of making a dick joke because of the sign form, just know you are too late as it already has been done by half the homestuck/hiveswap fandom lmao.

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Page of Time (Hood down, Changed outfit because he sure as HECK wasn’t gonna go around wearing no pants.)

God-Tier, Page of Time (Hood up)

Grimdark (Oh look, i’m more dead inside than I already was. Wow.)

Trickster Form (Cotton Candy Themed. Too much positive emotions and completely lack of care surely seem to be rather overwhelming and awful when you deal with stuff like anxiety and paranoia on a daily bases, huh?!)

Deceit (True name in this AU is “Dolian”) Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Casual Clothes Sprite

“Why, I certainly have NO IDEA what you mean by that.” (Arms sprite)

Normal Deceit Look

Trollsona, Cerulean Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Doubtful- Scorittarius)

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Bard of Void (Hood down, and no fucking Cod-piece because I refuse to draw anyone that isn’t the canon HS characters with one, and because Deceit sure as heck wouldn’t wear it if you ask me)

God-Tier, Bard of Void (Hood up)

Grimdark (Someone seems…way too happy with this…)

Trickster Form (Lemons Themed. If you were around the internet before the word “sm u t/ ns f w” was being used, i know what you are thinking… D O N T .) The famous Twisted happy person.

Remy (Sleep) Sprite Sheet: funfact- Remy is the only one who eyebrows deceive logic and appear on top of his hair, mainly because i didn’t want to lose the chance to present more emotions and expressions to him.

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Normal Sprite

“GUUURL, YOU WOULDN’T GUESS WHERE I AM. But please try to because I personally have no idea how I got here, lol” (Arms Sprite)

Trollsona, (Mutant) Lime Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Vociferous - Canun)

Trollsona, Would disguise himself as an Olive blood (but never change his sign because he figured no one would be bothered to fucking look that stupid thing up, right?! Oh no, there goes my hive and my lusus is now dead, woops.)

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Thief of Breath (Hood Down)

God-Tier, Thief of Breath (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (Frappuccino themed. How does the cup stays in his hair and doesn’t spill or anything?! Trickster Magic.)

Emile Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Normal/Pink Tie Sprite

Blue Tie/Glasses Sprite

THE THERAPIST IS IN AND READY TO GO! (Arms Sprite)

Trollsona, Mustard Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Intimate, Gemcer)

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Sylph of Blood (Hood Down, again, fuck them gendered GTs, slightly modified so it isn’t much of a dress and more like pants, mainly for easier walking/practicality)

God-Tier, Sylph of Blood (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (Fizzy bubblegum bottles candy Themed)

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abundantchewtoys · 5 years

Text

HS Epi: Meat p25 reaction

---

Though, we might jump to Roxy & Calliope again. It might be that, now her Reload self is... verschwunden, she's going to regain consciousness to a certain extent again. We'll just have to see if her condition is any better than Rose's, but I would hope so.

---

"ROSE: Customarily, we speak in favorable terms about “getting to know each other” as people." Uh, wut? Rose... is talking coherently? I thought post-victory Rose would mostly have stayed to short sentences, in that discourse Dirk referred to. Talk about "working through the pain".

Well then! I suppose their discussion is more related to the ultimate self than Dirk was letting on. Of course it would be, I mean, Dirk is trying to get Rose in a favorable state of mind, maybe to break down her resistence to the ascension by convincing her of the validity of his point of view.

"ROSE: The more we learn about each other, the more the barriers between us fall and the closer we become." So, is that part of the ultimate self ascension, too? The more you understand other people and vice versa, the more even the barriers between your distinct ultimate selves fall away? ... Are they all evolving into their own story's version of Godhead Pickle Inspector?

"And to question this in any way is to succumb to dysfunction, to pathological insularity, to sociological sin. ROSE: It is to renounce humanity itself, is it not? DIRK: Yo, hold on a sec. This shit is dynamite, I promise. DIRK: Gotta take care of something..." Pffff, Dirk is half distracted. And Rose was having her groove on, too! For a moment I thought he was grabbing for a pen to take notes. :P

"Rose’s phone is ringing, and I know I’m in for an encore of my last dead-end conversation with Kanaya, so I block her number. I’d like to be able to attend to Rose in peace. It’s only cordial for me to give the greater percentage of my attention to someone I actually invited over. The nagging wife can hold her horses." Oh Dirk. You garbage bag of a person, you. He's quite literally full of himself, lately.

"Rose isn’t speaking to me directly. She’s been relocated to somewhere in the workshop a little more comfortable than the fucking floor." Having her talk out loud, drowning in her own thoughts. It's almost as if he's inviting her to become like him.

"Her head is in her hands again, hair falling over her shoulders. Her face is entirely hidden from me." It's as if it always comes back to Rose biting through her issues while hiding her face. An allusion to the blindfolded Seer?

"Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking." ... Is her shadow slowly detaching from her as a separate being?? That's some Peter Pan-type shenanigans. I'm not even surprised this came back to be referenced. So, what if that's what's happening, and it isn't just that her shadow is fading due to the light changing outside? If the ultimate self detaches from the body, doesn't that mean they're, like, closer to ghosts? Does Dirk have his old body stashed somewhere, if this has happened to him? I doubt it, since he was perfectly capable of fighting Jake, earlier.

"ROSE: If two people were to know each other in such a complete way, what remains of their individuality? DIRK: If you’re going there, we might as well start at the bottom and define what an “individual” even is. ROSE: Oh dear god." Rose might be afraid to let Kanaya in any more than she already is. But in the grand scheme of the ultimate self, it might also have a double meaning. Maybe Dirk is convinced they're all shards of the same self.

"I place my hand on my chin and broadcast the appearance of being deeply pensive about philosophy all of a sudden. She gulps hard, broadcasting her grim realization that I have indeed become serious as shit about this. Literally any kind of intellectual pablum could pour out of my mouth any second, and she’s not prepared. For all she knows, I’m about to start quoting Kierkegaard." Is Rose afraid her biological father is going to lay the philosophy aside and slamming psychology? ... No wait, Kierkegaard was a philosopher, I find. Then, she might not be prepared for philosophy as much as psychology, when I thought the former was taking place already, but apparently.

"DIRK: Hey, where I come from, Wikipedia is a venerated literary resource. So if I told you I boned the hell up on his pages, you gotta believe me. That’s not meant as like, a punchline or anything. DIRK: I’m a really, really well-read dude." His education came from Wikipedia. Well, it beats Uncyclopedia, I guess.

"ROSE: But there were only two human beings alive where you came from. ROSE: Who exactly were the academic cognoscenti of your era to determine which sources were deemed respectable? DIRK: That would be me, obviously." Rose already ruled out trolls at the beginning of this page to have a valid opinion in this matter, so )(IC was already out.

"DIRK: I suppose you’re going to tell me you haven’t read enough Wikipedia articles on loads of scholarly shit to fancy yourself an elite academic by 25th century standards as well? ROSE: No, I guess I have. ROSE: I’d be one of the top intellectuals by that measure. ROSE: A measure set by, I guess, literally one solitary self-absorbed teen boy for the express purpose of making himself feel clever." This. Such a good burn.

"apparently in any given era the standard for depth of intellectual mastery is inversely proportional to the depth of the ocean." Well, we don't know that it's true for ANY given era. I'm not sure the proportion of intellectici vs. plebs in ancient Greece was proportionally higher than in the 21st century. We just have a lot of philosophy of that age survive until today. Also, heh, ocean, makes me think of LOLAR and her denizen at the bottom of the sea.

"DIRK: Let’s have a totally amateur debate on philosophy. Hit me with the classics. ROSE: Um. DIRK: I’ll go first." Well, heh, okay, at least Dirk is aware his assessment of himself is full of crap. That continues to be one of his most endearing characteristics.

"ROSE: How about, ROSE: “Subjectivity is truth.” DIRK: Wrong, but valid. DIRK: Try this on for fucking size. DIRK: “Late 19th century existential phenomenology pre-supposes that free will is a thing.”" For all that these might apply to the ultimate self... They're just quoting/paraphrasing the Wikipedia page now, aren't they?

"ROSE: I don’t think I bookmarked that page. ROSE: Can’t back you up there. DIRK: But what if there’s no free will. ROSE: You didn’t put that in quotes." How does she even know? :P His tone of voice, presumably. And yeah, this starts coming back to the discussion about the alpha timeline and pre-destination in the existential framework of Paradox Space. I suppose it would make sense that the Ultimate Riddle comes back in the discussion of the ultimate self.

"DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident? DIRK: Our lives were meticulously planned from clone-ception up through this very post-canon moment we find ourselves riffing in about the very free will we probably don’t even have. DIRK: Don’t you think it’s all a little too convenient?" He's acknowledging his state as a fictional character again, without stating it outright. Does he want Rose to come to the same conclusion as him by herself? Though it is ironic how, post-realization, he's had so much more agency in the nature of his own life. Unless he realizes he still doesn't. Wow, that's really getting meta.

"ROSE: This seriously is just a conversation between two stoned people now." ROSE: The bad kind, where neither one even gets to be high."PFfffffff. Yeah, actually, we need Gamzee's input up in here. 'have you ever, like, really LOOKED at your life?'

"DIRK: Seriously, Rose. Do you think that you have free will?" Is it in essence the question that leads to ultimate self realization? That Dirk is hammering so hard on it? Ironic though, that the question is twofold no: one outside of the story, and one inside of it.

"ROSE: I... DIRK: Stand up." WOOOOW. He's going to show off his powers now, isn't he? What's that even going to do to Rose, realizing he can do that without so much as breaking a sweat?

She might resist similar to John though, which is proof that his influence isn't total.

"She tries to stand up, but I haven’t narratively allowed it yet." That's another application of his powers, apparently - to offset, to negate action. He hasn't used it a lot yet, though.

"She attributes it to exhaustion, an all-encompassing sense of weakness due to her condition. Of course, she has been weakened by her condition, and thus she suspects nothing." I like Blaperile's theory, that what Dirk can allow them to do is limited to what they believe they're capable of OR which they can rationalize away. I hope it's only the former.

"It’s done deftly enough that she doesn’t notice how close I end up sitting to her. To be honest, I don’t even notice myself until I’ve done it. I continue speaking, and she remains rapt. But now even I can’t help but wonder where I’m going with this." Uh... Has he really started to lose track of his own motivations? More proof that he isn't omniscient and still being narrated instead of being his own narrator.

"DIRK: Logically speaking, individuality is a collection of processes and properties, interrelations of matter and experience all bundled together. DIRK: Your experience and processes don’t want to be bundled together anymore." So, is it only that her selves are trying to merge, or that even her own 'self' is trying to become something more, merging with others? And if so, is that Dirk confessing to what he's going through himself?

"A moment goes by, and she’s quiet, perhaps puzzling over what I said. Then I remember I haven’t narratively permitted a response. I’m forgetting myself, like a fool. Distracted by the surprise my own actions have caused me. I resolve to stay focused, remain in control. I let her speak." He's getting distracted again. You can't be both a character and an author, at the same time, for an extended amount of time.

"ROSE: I don’t understand. DIRK: You do, though. DIRK: We’ve been talking about it, but using different concepts." I wonder if Dirk is trying to retroactively tell Rose what they've been talking about, filling in the unshown conversation.

"DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure." Ah, okay, so not like her self is trying to merge with his and other people's.

"The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that. DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness." Aka, with his narrative powers, he's stopping her body from breaking down further, because he doesn't allow it. Does she have to stay near him for that to keep working?

"DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes." I don't think her shadow is going to develop eyes. ... I like Blaperile's theory, that he'll give her limited control on the narration, guiding her to further understanding. It would allow her to develop her own idea about what her Ultimate Self should look like, with less influence from him.

"Rose opens her eyes. Not her physical eyes. She opens the others easily, internally, beholding a field of perception elsewhere entirely. They see what I want her to see. That which quietly desires to be seen." Rose's mind quest begins. 'That which quietly desires to be seen', is that the story, or at least the part of it that is narrated, aka relevant, true and essential?

"We’re not in my workshop anymore. Physically, yes, we’re still here. But on a higher textual plane, we’ve pulled back from that, from Earth C itself. Rose takes a shuddering breath and runs an invisible pair of hands afforded by her new sight over the narrative whole cloth, and begins smoothing out the wrinkles. ROSE: I see... John." Cooool! She's starting to gain the same understanding as Dirk, here's to hoping she does a better job with it than him. But hey, Dirk still acknowledges his physical form on Earth C, so he isn't a ghost, and he still thinks of the body as important, at least that's something and he hasn't started to think of himself as some immaterial conscience.

"DIRK: Doing exactly what you told him to do, like a good boy." Not sure if he's actually done everything John planned. Plus, yeah, Dirk's been influencing him along the way.

"ROSE: ..." She might notice that, too.

"DIRK: What’s there to be upset about? You knew this was how it was supposed to go down. ROSE: He could have made another choice." And he did, in the Candy path. I wonder how that influenced the rest of the story, and if Hussie really went and showed us that. Maybe Dirk 'knows' about the Candy path and the difference it would have made.

"DIRK: Then where would we be? ROSE: Who knows." Meanwhile, in another narrative context, at the same time... :P

"DIRK: If it can happen, then it’s been written. And if it’s been written, you can read it right now. ROSE: I... don’t know if I want to see." ... PFffff, that's directed to us. No, Dirk, not planning on viewing that path just yet.

"I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere." ... In the Candy path the people are also going to be thinking about what could have been, aren't they? :P I do hope this isn't implying we should read the Candy path now. I mean, it's a bit awkward, navigating back, plus I would rather think Andrew'd bring the two paths together or add a REAL indication, before making it relevant to have read both.

"DIRK: So, what do you think? ROSE: It’s difficult to say. ROSE: I suppose there are negatives and positives. I can’t say if that option would be any better or worse than what we’re experiencing now. ROSE: Whichever way our fate unravels there’s too much of... something. ROSE: Too much blood, too much sugar." I think there might be a bit of a 'sugar overload' in the Candy path, in that it might seem there's too much fluff? Maybe inertia is taking hold of them over there, and people are slowly coming to regret not taking control of their lives. Even though, in a meta sense, only John could and did.

"ROSE: I almost can’t see through it. ROSE: It’s as if our extra-canon reality, our surroundings, our actions and their consequences... ROSE: They’ve all lost the ability to blend the ingredients responsibly. ROSE: Do you know what I mean?" It's like their fate has split like a cherub: a violent and a passive path, no inbetweens. But then, like a cherub, will one path 'devour' the other?

"It’s growing dark around her again. The apparition she’s been projecting behind her fades, and she starts to bleed light and shadow in all directions. Her physical eyes are open now, and shining bright. It’s a striking sight. She’s beautiful, actually—diaphanous and disheveled and filled with the limitless light of metaspiritual curiosity." She's literally starting to project light. Cool! And if she overcomes her current issues, it would definitely be a useful tool, and something to bond over with Kanaya.

"She’s my daughter in every sense of the word. My equal, my mirror.

It used to be odd to consider it. A technical fact I’d accepted as a genetic reality, but nothing that could ever quite penetrate down to the soul. But in this moment it doesn’t feel strange at all. It feels right, suddenly. And I know she must feel the same way. There’s no way she doesn’t. All she needs is a nudge in the right direction." Is that Dirk knowing, or projecting? Still weird how Homestuck made it so parents and progeny can interact as equals in age and demeanor alike.

"We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?" ... He really wants to co-narrate with her.

"ROSE: But what if the person you catch... ROSE: Isn’t me anymore? DIRK: Who gives a fuck. She’ll be better." I hope and suspect Rose will be a better omniscient narrator than Dirk. But I understand her concerns. If your influence is so total, it can become totalitarian.

"Would it not be to renounce humanity itself?

And yet, ironically, renouncing our humanity is exactly what we have arguably just done. Good riddance, I say.

Her body should be dead now. But I’m holding it together until I can implement the more permanent solution I have in mind." Has he done that to himself as well? Made a connection between his ethereal ascended form and his corporeal body? If so, he at least had the good sense to want to remain grounded. Still, Paradox Space, what the fuck? Having people die at 23 is only marginally better than 13.

"She regards me with an almost unbearably bright adoration. The kind that’s difficult to look at directly, but you can’t manage to look away either. It’s like the first time you see the Green Sun. Of course it is, because that’s the way I’m describing it. The truth belongs to me. And as of now, so does she." ... Eeeesh. I hoped he'd say, the truth belongs to Rose, too, but this. It's as if by ascending, she gave away a part of her agency to him??? He planned that, the bastard. Dirk, I really don't know what to make of you and your intentions.

"ROSE: I see it now. ROSE: You’re right. DIRK: Have I ever not been? ROSE: You...

A wrinkle in her brow. It smoothes out quickly. She murmurs to herself, trailing off quietly." Him, okay, I hope that means she can still cut loose in due time.

"ROSE: What... time is it...?

I step forward and steady her, hand firm but gentle against her cheek. That’s all she needs: a stable anchor. DIRK: Rose, does time even exist?" Dave (and Aradia, and Damara) would disagree.

---

Wow. I mean. Damn. Nice way of keeping us on the fence on Dirk's motivations. At least it should be a good thing he's no longer alone on that plane of existence. I'd rather have seen Rose immediately take control of the narration, but I can only hope it's due for the next page. It'd feel like reading her draft of CotL all over, her narrating in her longwinded fashion. :P

#homestuck #upd8 #reaction #spoiler alert #homestuck epilogues #homestuck liveblog #rose lalonde #dirk strider

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mika-shion · 6 years

Text

My grammar sucks but f*ck you, I'm tired, ignorant, and fed up with life...

Kinda feel like I'm disappointing ppl.... Letting friends n stuff down

Since HS I've been in this mindset + routine(sorta) of talking to my friends online

E V E R Y D A Y

But having actual important shit to do now, along with many more obligations than I had back then, I just can't. Either due to energy, unexpected changes in my schedule, or simply just not enough time in the day/week/ w/e.

Some ppl might say "learn to manage your time then, and go to bed on time", to which I reply - No shit.

Srsly though, that's on the list for shit I need to do, it's just a rough process that I (ironically) can't find the time for.... Though I'm still trying my damnedest.

But then there's the fact that I a) don't have a job (and therefore:) b) am at home a lot (which, to my family means:) c) I'm obligated to do every minute thing I can to help out around the house. Ofc it'd help if everyone else was helping a bit too- y'know, okay;

My family get the same reprimands from my mom for not doing shit around the house (cleaning uo garbage, doing their dishes.... Think that's about it) and still do nothing about it... I mean occasionally my sisters will get off their asses and do smth productive (mostly my little sister cuz my older sister is either working, sleeping, or not home), but not nearly enough to make up for the mess they make.

My "dad" (quotations cuz he's a lazy, inconsiderate, worthless, slobby, waste-of-space cunt) doesn't do anything but rarely wash his own dishes. Thinking cuz he pays barely half the rent (and no other bills that I know of. At least not consistently), that that's more than enough to make up for the LITERAL YEARS OF NEGLECT, THEFT, HARDSHIPS AND NEAR HOMELESSNESS HE'S PUT US THROUGH.

Honest to fucking GOD, there's no conceivable, realistic way I can think of that we could've survived these past several years w/o my mom being as determined as she was and the little bits and pieces of help she's received from some of her family.

(Okay completely different story, getting side-tracked)

My point is - I can't keep up. I mean I'm fumbling through legal, financial, and often my own paranoid bullshit - desperately trying to get my feet off the ground for like... 2 seconds.

AND BECAUSE Of all this bullshit I'm expected to keep up with on a daily basis, I can't work through my own personal demons to get that process started.

i.e. showering consistently (horrifying and gross, believe me - I k n o w), keeping my room clean and organized(so that merely existing in it doesn't cause anxiety and unease), going to bed, waking up and moving around at decent fucking hours(again though, working on it), socializing on a daily basis, finding a job, LEARNING HOW TO FIND A JOB, LEARNING HOW TO BE A GOD DAMNED ADULT

O N M Y O W N.

I mean... You know the list goes on...

I just can't keep up... The world shouldn't be like this... and that fragment of what vaguely resembles child-like wonder and hope is the only fucking thing keeping me afloat these days. It's killing me...

I've said it before, but I used to be so hopeful, happy, cheerful, optimistic, etc.

Now, thanks to negative remarks, hate, hopelessness surrounding me on all sides constantly.

Yknow - L I F E.

I've become a cynical, hateful, angry little bitch who can't even raise her upper lip without getting negative or swearing in some way.

On top of that - I wasn't taught what I needed, or likely wasn't taught right, in order to live on my own and.... Yknow... Thrive?

....I know only like... 3 people max might take the time to read this whole mess (to those 3, tysvm) so I don't expect any of what I said to mean a damn thing to much of anyone.

But if anyone who is in someway affected by my problems + what I'm dealing with/ I wrote here.. To you guys:

· I'm tired

· I'm trying

· I miss you

· I love you and

· I'm sorry...

Anyway... Done screaming into the void. Have a beautiful night everyone!

Pleasant Dreams!~✨💕🌙💫🌸

#mika-talks #emotional rants

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

Text

BlackPink the KJI turn of K-wave, literally walk away. I don’t like to reprise my condescending voice from the past with phrases like ‘complete retard’ and ‘s-s---k Tory-toff’ but there were some brain-damaged individuals on 4chan KPG who really loved Rose from BP - three times love, tragically like... I was at Boy Scout camp at 13 learning to sail a ‘Sunfish,’ Camp Wakpominee, this kid couldn’t stop singing ‘You are my sunshine.’ Cram-school kids singing commercial jingles(?!). One of the best or the most ‘enriching’ of experiences in my life was learning Latin and sacred music in high school after an MS career of patronizing pedo empowerment-palaver but still it might’ve been better just to hang in with the United Methodist Church despite allowing women to teach and being clannish and political and [I don’t want to say] - it’s not really that but the desire for intellectual independence

I had a speech-impediment till HS and learned to pronounce things through singing; have come to think much of SLP (speech language pathology) was a predatory or dummy industry though I don’t really know - dept. of how do you utter real / authentic words to a fake face. Campaign to destroy authenticity / ‘let us now lay burdens on our children we are unwilling to share’ although it could be JFK RFK MLK assassinations, 1970s ennui / malaise, Carter telling everyone ‘you’re bad and sad’ but having no real plan, urgency, intensity, passion and sundry knife-fights had inflicted clinical depression on the Boomers first of all

I tried to make sense of ‘crucify with spiritual weapons’ but came back now to what’s the worst thing that happened to me but fretted I would invent something that didn’t happen or flatter my vanity with ‘career patient war-stories.’ I’ve been hazed again and again and still not ‘washed.’ Maybe the fault was all mine for a superiority complex or maybe for going out. Public school / Democrat or perhaps popular democracy philosophy of 2 wrongs make right, our wrongs make right, the more wrongs the better, ‘Pieta’ Tammy Baldwin.

‘MinjuSchizo’ (me) tried to bypass Rose-tard since xer had a ‘Gay and Melancholy Sound’ + could be a schtick but IDK. Bad people still want good things like Snoop having a diamonds are no longer good. IDK why I have been this student of the pathetic. ‘And it may that in 2221 they’ll say in 2021 Man once again feared his best dept. of Nelson Mandela ‘we fear we are strong.’ ‘Itching ears.’ I don’t like talking poetically about clear and present threats to well-being tho b/c it makes it seem like Broadway. ‘This is a God that is like us’.... am I missing the mark?

‘Converging and coalescing’ - Hayao Miyazaki anime was a mistake, 100% pedophilia; BlackPink, 100% obliteration. The best anime film arguably as Whisper of the Heart b/c it’s about wanting to be an adult but the guy who made it blew hiw own health out permanently (karoshi?), made ultimate animated motion picture, perished on 1st film. Asian adoption also pedophilia, Latin American dictator pedophilia. I’m ot even gonna say b/c Koreans discovered Freudian psychology like Freud’s read of Lear a bit too late and Freudianism makes some people in to demon-children. I’m put in mind if Spider Eaters and The Vagrants where at the end of the CultRev it as, ‘Nope! Red Guards got too mentally ill - time to blow them all away with general infantry.’ I kept telling my parents Maoism just leads back to old-fashioned hierarchy, authority, defined roles. This MO silences a lot of people; in KR saintly leaders got tortured, sat on death-row to make something better. In America they wanna dismantle everything or contract everyone or I really don’t even know.. No honest military police in ‘Waukee just go-getting careerists who joined up for pay. Another former president of the ROK said his mom refused to let him take pay for serving neighbors - my only mistake was asking anything lately..

But I don’t know what will happen one hour from now..

I was only following Yuna Kim and Taeyeon on IG b/c I don’t understand social media then my old friends who never quite included me started tracking me again IDK if it is just AI making them do it; I reduced from 2 to just Taeyeon... IDK if I should say this but her lower legs gave me a feeling, new flowers every day but IDK, I used to think of her as this celebrity whom my scholarly genius could surround but I sincerely wish she’d pull an Elizabeth Taylor or Christina Aguilera; I still remember ‘the Most Beautiful Journey’ though in retrospect; anyway I know guys from all over this world are sending her presents 24-7-365 but I bet she’s more sophisticated than me in retrospect or all celebrity-culture is ‘stupidly simple’ (Daul Kim) and female-fetishization / Goddess-worship really is just mother-fear or Fear of Men or ev1 really was just hoping to avoid Holiness and masculinity. Still listening to that wave-song I am like, ‘I know who you are,’ unlike my literal parents, and nearly ev voice in Milwaukee is just totally fake voice - I do not mean phony or what but just like, there was this Do As Infinity song ‘kimi wa dare, boku wa dare.... no yoru lose yourself’ - Night Falls Over Milwaukee, beyond respecting lies like KJI said ‘I raped and trafficked 11-year-olds to get nukes’ - that is kind of sincere’ I guess but being beyond whether a lie is a lie or not even neway I do still think a lot about ‘In Sunlight and in Shadow’ as ell and wanted to cast either SJH or Cha Yeryun (ultra-underrated) in the Korean version...

I guess ‘not care lie or truth’ alas is part o the condition of ‘fiction’ which puts me back with my cousins and the doll-house, endless make-believe and RPG’s..

My other ‘sacred possession’ in the past was SNSD’s ‘Sonyeo Tokyo’ photobook that I used to make poems for; Seohyun was my favorite when they kicked out and bullied her again and again. For a time I had a little ‘consolation-prize’ gesture I would tell myself which was ‘walking out of dinner party hand-grenade over left shoulder on to middle of munchies table cuz you guys are wife-bought-me-sex-slave-CCP-naked-sushi human trash’ - I also don’t know what they mean + it’s ancient history. The dream was not a dream / the style was not a style / love passed through here a while / and... that picture of the Japanese sea with its particular mercury but at times liquid gold; there are times as Blaise Pascal might put it to say ‘Sea of Japan’ as well as ‘East Sea’

When I taught at [Beauty School] my fav song was BTBAL with its repeated syntax ‘The reason’ like ‘The reason why the wind shines / the flower falls / night surrounds you’ - but that whole self-regard-system might be going out the window dep. on your reading of Isaiah and ‘ladylike’ ~ as back then I wrote giant lists about Seohyun, EA-A / teenagers, stress-management; now everyone’s just stealing my words. At times I feel I see their souls are just dangling them down through their spine with no real [avidity?] but I guess it’s getting better of late(?) ~ I took the escalator at Whole Foods and keep thinking of last ultimate love-rejection and how retard at HS was like ‘Teacher I don’t like your sock’ - Me, ‘IDC’ - but this was poor-in-spirit who probably knew exactly what he needs to know whilst I am like 9-gifted fortunate son and I can’t totally lock in if I believe my sister’s suitcase-nuke prophecy or its a joke-metaphor abt my fanfics and stuff on my drives / that I had a private life

+ also these beautiful disabled or simple people and communism is like leave none behind - like no Uighur to tell what happened or Khmer Rouge killing like 25% of pop, emptying the hospitals, glasses-wearers die, they still think Santa Mao is going to pull the homeless of the street; ‘Humana Vitae’ predicted this all so did GnR’s ‘It’s So Easy’ but guess what about ev1 pleasing you

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

Sk8er Girl CH2 (Trixya)- Squeaky Pink

Trixya!HS AU. Trixie is a nerdy, girly girl with bows and frills. Katya is a skater chick with scuffed knees and a Flazéda attitude. When they’re assigned as lab partners, can they discover chemistry together?

Or: She was a sk8er girl. She said see you later girl. She wasn’t good enough for her (or was she?).

[AN: Pink Shrooms aka Squeaky Pink. We’re writing this together but alternating chapters and POVs. Pinky is Trixie’s POV and Squeaky is Katya’s POV. We wanted to write the ending of this chapter based on the actual experience of a friend. The goal was to emulate life it its honest, messy way.]

PLAYING HOOKY

“You have to stop crashing at our place,” Alaska snaps as she throws open the curtains of the trailer. Katya groans and rubs her eyes. Ugh, she can still taste last night’s booze.

“But I thought you liked it when I warmed your couch? Doesn’t it get lonely without me?” Katya yawns as she grabs some cereal from the drawer. Sharon Needles greets her with the middle finger as she comes out of the bedroom in a leather studded jacket.

“Nah, bitch. ‘Lasky and I like to fuck without you a fart’s distance away, listening to our every creak.”

“I’ll close my ears next time.”

“Girl, you live right next to the skate park. So why are you constantly come crawling over to this dumpster?”

“The scenic view,” Katya says and gestures out the window to the pile of rubber tires. Willam zooms past them. Then the whirlwind of a girl kicks open the door, cracks open a can of beer from the fridge, and raises her eyebrows at the three of them.

“So we gonna skate or you blonde fucks too busy finger-popping each others’ assholes?”

“You’re blonde too,” Alaska points out.

“That’s bottle-blonde,” Willam burps. “AKA the dick sucking brand of blonde. Y’all be the lesbian variety.”

“I’m bisexual, bitch,” Katya says, flicking Willam on the forehead and stealing her drink. It’s too early to be drinking, especially on a Wednesday, but it’s not the worst decision she has made this week.

She sighs in relief as the LA sun warms her back, the wind whips her hair, and wheels happily hum against the concrete. Katya’s still a little sore from her fall a couple of days ago, but it’s nothing an early morning spin can’t soothe.

They practice new tricks. Willam finds a new trick and sneaks off into the bushes with him. Alaska tries to ride on Sharon’s back, but they end up collapsing on top of each other, laughing like idiots. Katya smiles up at the blue sky. In the distance, she sees the yellow school bus chugging by, and her easy smile falls away.

“Aw, shit, gotta get my ass to math class before princi-PAL Ru-PAL suspends me,” Willam says and snaps her fingers. “Again.”

“I’m just gonna stay here,” Katya mumbles as her friends grab their backpacks.

Alaska throws a friendly hand over her shoulder: “Can I assssk you a question?”

“Yeah?”

“How are you going to graduate if you don’t show up? I’m surprised that you, pardon the expression, have the balls to skip so much school with that Barbie doll as your lab partner.”

Katya rubs her fingers over the bandaid. She bites her lip as she remembers how gently Trixie had applied it. Sure, Trixie had come off as a bitch during class, but Katya also saw a softer side to her that afternoon. Fuck, then those stupid tampons and Katya had run away…

They’d made Katya anxious. Her? Anxious? Groundbreaking. She wasn’t ready to come out to Trixie as trans. Although she definitely liked Trixie, they just weren’t that close. Trixie was an out and proud lesbian…so maybe being a part of the LGBT community she’d be more understanding? Katya shook her head; she didn’t want to risk it. It’s none of Trixie’s business, anyway.

She sighs: Why bother, ‘Lasky? My brain’s full of small mice that run and run, but they’re going nowhere. You think my mouse-run brain’s gonna get me to college? Nah, fuck school knowledge. I should just take the GED exam so I can spend more time practicing my skating for competitions.“

Alaska squeezes her shoulder, but Willam gives the back of Katya’s helmet a firm smack.

“Now listen. Stop being stupid, stupid! Teachers want you to graduate, so they don’t gotta deal with yo ass. So just show up and show tits. Unless you have Michelle Visage, then wear a turtleneck. I’m saying this cause I love you, and I don’t want to see you sellin’ that ass on the side of road for a quarter when you’re worth a million bucks. Go to school. Get a diploma. Maybe get head from a hottie. And get the fuck over yourself.”

Katya laughs even as she shakes her head. God, why are her friends so amazing? Even though she’d rather spend the rest of the day here, perfecting her moves at the park, Katya goes with them to school.

Choices.

——

BACK TO SCHOOL (AGAIN)

First period is gym, and Katya’s secretly glad to trade in her helmet for a badminton racket. Coach Santino gives her a nod and tosses her a birdie. Most students think he’s a creep ever since that rumor that he took Violet Chachki to Red Lobster and ate her out, but he seems ok. Well, at least he doesn’t have a dildo wedged up his ass like Ms. Del Rio.

Katya plays a game with Alaska. Their shots fail to go over the net, but they’re giggling anyways. Gym has always been her favorite period. Besides lunch and study hall.

RIIIIIIIIIIIING.

Katya slumps into the back of English class, and they’re reading -surprise!- Shakespeare. More like Shakesqueer, Katya mouths to Sharon Needles. They fist bump. It’s Romeo and Juliet, and everyone groans except for this one girl with grey hair, Max, who’s a little too excited to do assigned reading. Oh, wait, she’s a theater kid, so of course she diddles herself to The Bard.

“It’s the most romantic play of all time! I can feel every line in my bosom,” Max sighs.

Bosom? Suuuure. Katya zones out and looks up a Sparknotes summary on her phone. Romeo is super in love with this Rosaline girl one day and then Juliet the next day? Wow, true love. Katya’s seen this exact drama played out behind the skate park bushes at least twice a week featuring less death and more herpes.

“Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs,” Max reads with a pathetic sigh. Katya wants to stab her eye with her pencil.

Katya is relieved when English class finishes. “If I have to listen to that British girl jerking off to Romeo’s monologues for the rest of this week…I don’t think I’m coming back,” Katya groans as they walk out back to the dumpster. She lights up Sharon’s cigarette and then her own.

“Love is bullshit,” Sharon agrees as Alaska arrives; she offers the younger girl a puff.

“You have a girlfriend though.”

“Nah, I gotta friend, who likes to fuck. Big difference. Romeo just wanted to stick it in, so he had to get married to do it to please the patriarchy. Worst thing that happened to us gays was when we started getting gay-married.”

“Are you sure?” Katya rolls her eyes. “Are you sure that’s the worst thing that’s happened to us gays in the last hundred years?”

“Ok, maybe not. But love is fake and marriage is an institution.”

Alaska snaps her fingers in agreement and gives Sharon Needles a peck on the cheek. Ugh, for two people who think love is fake, they look like they are going to elope and drive to Las Vegas any day now. They’re that one couple that everyone knows is a thing, but they pretend it’s not as serious as it is. Katya has a That’s-So-Raven moment where she sees their wedding invitations. Gross.

“I mean is capitalism’s corporate dick wedged deep inside our every sacred tradition, including marriage? Yes. Do I still think social equality for the LGBT community is important? Fuck yes.”

Katya and Sharon go back and forth. Katya wishes that school was like this- a real debate. She wishes that it wasn’t always regurgitating the teachers’ opinions for a grade. Then the bell rings and they head inside, but Katya stays to finish. As she deeply inhales the smoke, Katya rubs the Barbie Band-Aid once more. Why hasn’t she taken it off yet?

“Oh, good, look who decided to show up,” Ms. Del Rio deadpans.

“McDonald’s wasn’t hiring,” Katya jokes back as the entire class laughs. Laganja chirps ‘okuuurrr.’ Ms. Del Rio gives Katya a look like drop another test tube and you’ll wish they were hiring.

Katya forgot her lab manual, periodic table, and basically everything at home, so she just slinks down next to Trixie. She hates that her stomach twists up into a knot when the blonde smiles at her. Katya almost forgets how to smile back.

“I scared you off, huh? Sorry…I tend to have that kind effect on people,” Trixie softly whispers as Ms. Del Rio dims the lights.

Katya’s fingers brush against Trixie’s as they reach for their pencils. Katya may not believe in love, but she believes in the way her thighs clench with arousal at the touch. Electric. Trixie’s wearing a strapless dress, which is tight around her breasts, and Katya believes in the way her cock twitches at the sight.

Katya’s glad the lights are low enough to hide her heated face. What? She’s eighteen and horny, and Trixie Mattel is the world’s least likely girl to ever sleep with her. All things considered, Katya would do anything to bury her face between those thick thighs.

She tries to slow her breathing and concentrate on the video about potassium. Nothing like ions to try and take your mind off of your growing erection. Katya shouldn’t have worn denim shorts this tight, but it’s too late to do anything but squirm in her seat with regret and arousal.

Trixie leans in, breath curling against Katya’s ear: “Did the Band-Aid help?”

“Not without the expert care of my favorite Barbie nurse,” Katya says, trying for flirty, but she kind of stumbles at the end and lands closer to awkward. Curse Trixie and her breasts and bows and brains! If only Katya had that many B’s on her report card, her parents might actually want her to come home. Wow, now she’s horny and anxious? An all time low.

“What made you come back to chemistry?”

My asshole friends.

“You,” Katya promises with a wink.

Trixie snorts and rolls her eyes. She’s so frustratingly superior, and Katya should hate her for that. It kind of turns her on though. Katya likes when Trixie sasses her with a single look, and, wow, thoughts like that aren’t helping with the boner situation. It’s hard -pun intended- to think when Trixie’s around.

“Sorry about the tampons.”

Katya flinches. Ok, erection effectively killed.

“Don’t mention it. No, like, please, don’t mention it.”

“I thought it was weird that you ran, but I talked to my friends and…well, Max has a chronically shallow vagina, and she says that tampons won’t fit. So, I don’t know you or your medical history, and if I somehow triggered you, I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

Thinking about Max’s chronically shallow vagina has made Katya very un-hard. Wow, that’s the first time that Katya has ever been thankful someone un-aroused her. Chemistry class has taken a turn for the weird. Just how Katya likes it.

“It’s ok,” she promises. “I promise not to run away from you again, if you help me figure out how to pass this class. Da?”

“Wait…you know Russian?”

“I don’t just know it– I am Russian. I was brought here when I was six, so I don’t have an accent. Why?”

“Because I want to go to college in Russia!” Trixie whispers. “Please help me, and I’ll reach-around to help you.”

Ok, now that just sounds vaguely like a sex act. Courtney twists around at her lab table and gives them both a knowing look.

“Fuck, yeah!”

Wow, that was not her inside voice. That wasn’t even her outside voice. That’s her in-the-basement jerking off to porn voice, and now everyone in the room is staring.

Ms. Del Rio click-clacks over to them, and Katya wants to cower under the lab table. The woman hands them both a slip for lunch detention. Trixie gasps as she’s given the pink slip, holding it like it’s covered in poisonous chemicals.

“I see that I have a couple of clowns in my class this year, so let me repeat- all foolishness will earn you a detention slip. If you don’t want to behave, get packing.”

Katya doesn’t give a shit, but Trixie buries her face into her hands and doesn’t speak to her for the rest of the period. The lab is so simple even Katya manages to get it. Trixie’s face is blank, but Katya can see the hurt just under the surface. She wishes that she knew how to approach her or what to say. Once more, she’s reminded of what different worlds they come from.

“Hey, so do you still want to tutor-”

“You smell like cigarettes,” Trixie snaps and rushes out of the classroom, pink slip crumpled up in her hand.

Katya usually is the first to bolt after class, but she goes up to Ms. Del Rio instead: “I did everything! I cursed and came in late and- and please don’t punish Trixie for me being an idiot.”

“You were both talking. You both get detention. Next?”

“No! I wasn’t talking to Trixie I, uh, I was…talking to myself?” Katya stammers and it’s ridiculous even for her. “Please, don’t punish Trixie. She’s trying her best and school is so important to her-”

“Then she’ll go to lunch detention. I don’t believe in special treatment, Ms. Zamo. I’ll see you both in an hour,” Ms. Del Rio says, and her word is law. What is this? Prison?

Katya skips social studies to smoke behind the bleachers with Laganja. She rants about science class, omitting her erection, and questions why school is structured like the penal system. Laganja replies with her usual yes, mawma, preach, god.

Katya comes back, reeking even worse of smoke, and sits a lab table away from Trixie. She bought french fries and milk. Part of a balanced diet. Ms. Del Rio silently grades work at the front of the room, but then she leaves half way through to go to the bathroom.

“Pssstt,” Katya faux-whispers. “Sorry. Hey, are we even on the whole running away from each other thing?”

“Sure. It’s fine,” Trixie mutters, tearing her chicken nuggets in half and opening up her chem notes. That’s the least ‘fine’ fine Katya has ever heard. Fuuuuck, trust her to have a crush on the girl who’s in love with her school work. They’re in chemistry class, but this feels like a lesson in subtraction; Katya should just subtract her being from Trixie’s being. Maybe then Trixie wouldn’t look so miserable.

Katya sighs.

What bullshit did Shakespeare write? Love is smokey sighs? Accurate.

Katya wishes that she had asked Alaska and Sharon what to do. They were the most functional dysfunctional couple that she’d ever met. How did they manage it?

Remedial algebra passes in a blur of numbers. Tick tock. Katya wants to jump over the clock and punch Mr. Davis with a sock. That’s the gibberish that she texts Willam at least.

Suck his cock -W

U say that whenever anyone has a problem. Broken heart? Suck. Broken leg? Suck. Broken moral compass? Suck. -K

If it’s broken, sucking a cock will help. 10/10. User tested and reviewed. -W

How about if u…hurt someone’s feelings? -K

Hurt how? Fucked their mother kinda hurt? -W

Like if you accidentally got them into detention? And they don’t have a dick to potentially suck??? -K

Uhhhhhhhh, lick their clit -W

Metaphorically? -K

OK, MAX. -W

Hmm -W

Try ‘sorry’ -W

Tried that -K

Try it again but this time with your face in between her thighs ;) -W

Katya laughs and sends a gif of a burning hot dog because it feels right in this wiener driven context. She remembers when she came out as trans to her, and Willam was legit like ‘damn, you got the best of both worlds, Hannah Montana.’ Willam never failed to make her laugh.

She arrives at ninth period Intro to Psychology feeling like she’s lost ten years off her life. How has so much drama happened? On a Wednesday for fucks sake.

It’s started to lightly drizzle, and Katya jiggles her foot as she watches the rain streak down the window. Good thing she has a baseball bat, water bottle, and umbrella in her locker. It’s an ‘escape kit’ for a potential zombie apocalypse. Huh, guess Katya’s like Trixie in that way, always preparing for the worst.

“Write down five words that describe you and try to connect those different parts of your identities. Which one is most important to you? In this Unit of Psychology we’ll be exploring ourselves…”

Katya can think of a lot of words that describe her perfectly: skater, chronic under achiever, ADD, bisexual, trans, disappointment—

Disappointment. That’s the word that keeps repeating in her head as she doodles a tattoo design on the side of her paper. Her parents would never approve of a hammer and sickle tattoo, but Katya’s stopped living her life for them. She stopped the day she’d come out as trans ten years ago. Katya had already been wearing skirts around the house since she came to America, but, when she turned eight, Katya gave the middle finger to the world.

Now, she’s eighteen, and her middle finger is still firmly in the air. Her mother, Pat, understands, but her father doesn’t- he never did. He looks at her, silent, like she’s a mistake. Fuck. Katya excuses herself to go pee. She can’t think of words when her brain keeps racing around like a mouse from one thought crumb to the next. Katya stays in the bathroom stall longer than necessary, pressing her head into her hands.

By the time the bell rings, the rain is coming down hard. Katya can only see the yellow blur of buses and the distant green of trees. Alaska and Sharon are making out on top of her locker, and she pushes them off.

“Ay, this is the thanks we get for letting you stay in our humble abode?” Sharon grumbles.

“Please keep all hands and tongues inside your space while near my locker. This is a 'No Slobber Zone.’ Bitch needs to keep dry.”

“Mhm, that’s not what Willam’s been texting,” Alaska says and raises her eyebrow. “Says you want to make someone wet…with apology tears.”

“Willam’s a Willam.”

“And you’re showing all the signs of being in looove. Sighing? Lying? Laganja told Gia who told Alyssa who told me that you begged Ms. Del Rio not to give Trixie Mattel detention. What’s really going on with you and Barbie, huh?”

“Nothing,” Katya lies and flushes. Wow, it’s a good thing she’s a skater and not a poker player. Her red cheeks are a dead give away.

———

LOST KITTEN

The buses have left by the time Katya rolls outside, red umbrella above her. The pavement is slippery, so Katya forces herself to slow down. She can’t go to the skate park, and, after this morning, she can’t go back to the trailer park. Heart sinking, Katya directs herself home.

Just as she’s turning the corner, Katya sees the saddest sight. Trixie is walking without an umbrella. Her bow is soggy. Her Moschino backpack is practically dragging on the ground.

“Need umbrella? Da?” Katya says with a faux-Russian accent.

Trixie pushes a strand of wet hair from her forehead and smiles: “My knight on a shining skateboard.”

Katya jumps off and tucks her board under her arm. Trixie’s hand brushes hers as she reaches up to hold the umbrella. Katya can’t help it when her cheeks heat up. Her? Blushing? Unheard of.

They walk in silence for a bit, and Katya knows that the events of this morning are still weighing heavily between them. Katya wishes she knew how to break through all of Trixie’s many shields, but she’s…so confusing. Somehow, the more confused Trixie makes her, the less Katya can stay away.

Rain, rain, don’t go away, Katya thinks as Trixie’s hip bumps against hers. You just saved this horrid day.

Katya opens her mouth to say that and then closes it. Everything she wants to say sounds dumb compared to how brilliant Trixie is. Everything might mean nothing when Trixie doesn’t know she’s trans. Why can’t she just say that? Just be the usual middle-finger-to-the-world girl that she is at home and with her friends?

Instead, Katya clears her throat. Pathetic. They pass by the town stores, and she wrinkles her nose at the reek of wet dog. There are too many strays in this town.

“Wait. Did you hear that?”

“What?” Katya stops, but there’s nothing but the rush of cars, splashing through puddles, and the roar of motorcycles. In the distance, she can hear the rumble of thunder. Trixie heads towards the dark alleyway, and Katya follows her.

“Look,” Trixie whispers, breathless.

Katya hears the most pathetic ‘meow’ as she leans down to see a cardboard box. On the outside it says ‘Lucky’s Treats,’ but, inside, there’s the most unlucky looking kitten. It sadly mewls as Trixie carefully reaches down.

“A kitten,” Trixie sighs as she hugs it to her breast. The motherly act makes Katya’s heart twist.

Suddenly, Katya can see the girl who fell to her knees to help her at the skate park. Trixie’s eyes are soft and lips parted when she looks up at Katya. How can one girl hide so much beauty?

“My mom is allergic to cats,” Trixie confesses as she looks up at her with pleading eyes.

“Well, I live in the basement cause my parents are allergic to me, so…yeah, come one, let’s sneak this kitty cat in.”

Trixie’s eyes light up, and she gratefully presses a kiss to Katya’s cheek. It might just be a friendly gesture, but Katya’s toes curl in her wet Converse. God, the sight of Trixie with that little kitten snuggled into her big chest is the best thing she’s seen all day. They debate over names before finally settling on ‘Lucky’ because that’s what it said on the side of the box. Besides, the little scrap of fur is lucky to have found them.

“Shhh,” Katya presses a finger to her lips as she slips in through the back door. They’re tracking water everywhere, so it will be obvious. Still, Katya’s main priority is helping Trixie and Lucky.

They give him milk and watch as he happily laps it up. Trixie’s head is in her hands, face still unguarded, as she happily watches. Trixie tells her a story about how she used to sneak into the animal shelter in the town over on Sundays, spend the whole day there, and tell her mom she was at church. Katya laughs; she thinks that she could listen to Trixie all day.

“Your turn,” Trixie says and nudges her knee. They’re pressed up close on the couch now, with their science homework spread out on the table. Fuck, she likes Trixie so much. She needs to be honest with her so that if Trixie pushes her away, it’ll be sooner rather than later.

“When I was a little kid, I…came here from Russia. So I never felt like I fit in. Everyone saw some stranger, who didn’t speak how they spoke. Who didn’t look how they thought a- a “boy” should look.”

Trixie’s eyebrows shoot up and she covers her mouth. Then she laughs-

“Wait, you’re joking, right? You mean you were…a tomboy? Right?!”

“No, I…I’m transgender,” Katya says to her hands, afraid to look up at Trixie’s face.

Silence.

Lucky yawns and curls up on the carpet to sleep. The clock angrily ticks as Katya waits for Trixie to say something, anything. Oh god, everything had been going so great and then Katya had to fuck it up.

“That’s great,” Trixie says, face blank. “Great. Uh, I think I have to…my mom wants me to come home…”

“Right,” Katya says, blinking away tears.

Wow, this couldn’t have gone any worse.

“I’ll see you in class-”

“Wait, but- but how about we go over some of the Russian declensions? Or you show me the element symbols again-”

“See you in class,” Trixie repeats, gives her an awkward side hug, and then she’s gone. She leaves Katya shaken and alone. Katya feels like she’s been stripped naked, raw, and then left out in the rain. She curls up on the floor, cradling Lucky to her chest. Katya has already cried once today, and she hates that the tear count is this high.

Disappointment. That’s the word that keeps repeating in her head. Katya gets up, and, even though it’s too early to sleep, hides in bed. Katya buries her face into the pillow and screams. Louder. She can still see Trixie’s eyes, judging her.

Maybe it would have been better if Katya had gotten Laganja or Sasha fucking Belle for a lab partner. Then they could have just failed together. Katya wants to live in a world where she never met Trixie or opened up to her.

The kitten licks her hand, which is hanging over the edge of the bed.

Katya lifts Lucky up and cradles him to her chest.

“There are too many strays in this town,” Katya whispers. “You. Me. They left you in a box. They left me at the airport. I was six. How old are you, Lucky? They also told me I was ‘lucky’ to be taken in by such a nice, middle-class family. Why don’t I feel that way then? God, we’re both so alone, Lucky, so let’s…let’s be alone together? You and me. Just you and me against this world.”

#trixya #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #squeaky #pinky #sk8er girl #cis!Trixie #trans!katya #high school au #lesbian au #angst #rpdr fanfiction #submission #tw transphobia #tw internalized transphobia #tw coming out

165 notes · View notes

nora-reads-homestuck · 7 years

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 67

Pages 6094-6153

Heya, guys. I’m working on some hectic personal projects at the moment that are eating up a lot of my free time, but I’m on a staycation today and have decided to devote it to Homestuck! So, last time we got a closer look at young Mom, a.k.a. LittleLonde, and learned that Bro’s auto responder isn’t just a glorified answering machine, but a shades-dwelling AI with a level of intelligence seemingly on par with a human’s. We were also treated to the hilarious revelation that LittleLonde’s chat style is more like Dave’s than Rose’s, and Bro’s (or at least the responder’s) style is more like Rose’s than Dave’s. Will the two of them share other similarities with their opposing ectobiological offspring? Will Bro like knitting, in addition to making weird robots, and LittleLonde enjoy laying down some choice rhymes? And what on earth is the Condesce up to?

Let’s find out!

*click*

Jake: Exit.

...Aaaaaand it’s another character select screen! And I still can’t click on LittleLonde or Bro, rrghh. I guess I’ll click on Jane first, as much as I want to know more about Jake’s merciless stalkerbot.

But if you've been her already, there's really no point to this thing anymore. Time to move on.

...Oh. Wow dang, I’m dumb. OK THEN, MOVING ON.

Michael Cera??? Is this because of that poster in John’s house that kind of looked like... Hussie, you beautiful motherfucker. On the other side of the hall, we’ve got a Bing Crosby instead of a harlequin. So this is what the Crockbert decor looks like without the influence of Gamzee’s chucklevoodoos.

You are suddenly Jane again. Or, you suddenly keep being Jane. Who can say for sure???

Maybe next time I’ll be paying enough attention that I don’t keep cycling back through the same character select pages. :|a

Hopefully your dad is still out back washing the car. Ideally this is one of his legendary infinite car washes. What can you say? Dad fancies his automotive ablutions.

Both Dad’s and adult!Dave’s water bills must be outrageous. Luckily they’ve probably got assloads of money to cover it.

...Wait a sec, since Jane’s dad is alive, why isn’t HE the heir to Crockercorp?? Unless it can only pass down to females, who have to take up the mantle of Betty Crocker?

You slip the HALLWAY CERA a furtive wink for good luck.

Ahahaha.

Just one of your dad's bland HALLWAY DOUCHEBAGS.

FUCK I JUST SPIT WATER EVERYWHERE

Another example of his cornball dad tastes, which make you roll your eyes and shrug. Still, it's preferable to how it used to be. Years ago he would work really hard to mimic your interests throughout the household. Gaudy paintings of sitcom legends covering the walls, hideous detective figurines littered everywhere. You think it's better that he embrace his own interests rather than try to pander to yours.

Huh, that’s interesting. Could it also have been the case with Rose’s mom that she was trying to connect with her through sharing the same interests? Or is this simply meant to tell us that Dad is so much of a non-person that he automatically reflects the interests of whatever kid he’s got under his roof?

It felt a bit forced, and your early teen years were filled with daily rounds of familial STRIFE. Not so much anymore. Now whenever there is a father-daughter disagreement, you settle things in an adult fashion by being honest about your feelings and talking it through,

Ah, good! Hopefully this means LittleLonde and Bro will have less enmity toward their guardians than Rose and Dave.

and also by sneaking around the house in silly disguises.

Pfffff.

Jane: Take a peek into living room.

JOOOHN, NOOOOOOOOOO, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIE???

Ahem. Who’s that douchebag in the pork pie hat on the left? Fred Astaire maybe?

There's a familiar face. A friendly face. Old poppop Crocker, smiling from beyond. Your dad sure misses him. He doesn't like to talk about the day he died. Some incident involving a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and a mysterious young woman in a suspicious looking hat. You have often fantasized about putting on your dirty old fedora and your Frenchest looking mustache to go tracking down this felonious broad and bring her to justice. But your dad always says best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Oh jeez. What will she do when she realizes the felonious broad is none other than herself?? >:O

There's some other plucky looking tool there next to him. Dunno who that guy is.

Yeah, I can’t really tell.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT ASTAIRES, BRO.

You were afraid this might be the case. Your dad has blocked the front door with the REFRIGERATOR. Looks like he's taking the grounding seriously this time.

Holy shit, Dad, overboard much. How the heck is LittleLonde supposed to put the cruxtruder there if the fridge is in the way??

You aren't about to go smashing glass and making a ruckus though. You'll need a solution involving more stealth. You guess you have a plan in mind as a last resort, but you'd rather it not come to that.

> Jane: Consult with poppop.

...Um??? What is an urn of ashes supposed to do, other than get toppled at the most hilarious and inopportune moment?

OH GOD OH NO, OH NOOOOOOOOOOO. So apparently Dad’s taken a page out of Jade/Grandpa’s book and had John stuffed. What do you want to bet he stipulated in his will that if he were preserved, his descendants had to do hilarious things with the corpse?

...Also, if he died the same fiery, explosive death Nanna did, how is there enough left of him to stuff?

It practically went without saying your dad keeps poppop stuffed and mounted in front of the fireplace, as is the family tradition. Poppop grew up with his legendary humorist grandfather stuffed in front of the fireplace, and so did his grandfather. This was stipulated firmly in the will, at the end of a long list of joke stipulations. (Dad knew this was a real stipulation though.)

Ahahaha, almost right on the money. So John lived with a stuffed Colonel Sassacre, but who did Colonel Sassacre have stuffed in front of his fireplace?

You always did find it a little macabre though, trying to watch tv and eat dinner on the couch with a dead old man standing about five feet away. You'd honestly prefer he not be kept here in the living room. Sometimes you tell dad you really want poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready.

The mere fact that she calls what what? That she calls the attic an attic? What else is she supposed to call it; the super-hive storage compartment??

What's that, poppop? It seems he's concerned that you may not be properly equipped. You prove to him that you indeed had no intention of leaving the house without your trusty joke book.

Oh wow. So if I’ve got the timeline right (and I’m not overly sure that I do), the Sassacre’s John is holding is the same one that actually went through the game with him, and not just the one that got sent down on the meteor with him. The meteor Sassacre’s was much cleaner and wasn’t yet covered in oil.

Hah, fun call back!

YES, I am going out with this book! No, I will not go get an unabridged copy! No, I will not take yours! I can hardly even lift it! Oh, that is so preposterous. Do you even hear what you're saying? I will be fine! This is a perfectly funny book and it contains many incredibly funny jokes! Oh, will you just stop it. I am going now. Good day!!! >:B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a passive-aggressive smiley to top it off. >:B

OH DEAR GOD.

You just remembered something your alien friend said about the big old book downstairs, and trusting words written by your own hand.

My god, that thing looks like shit. How many trips has the poor book taken by now? How is it not falling apart??

Uh, whoops. Sorry, poppop.

Yeah, “”whoops””.

> Jane: Retrieve arm.

This may be the very first time this command was actually 100% literal, and it’s beautiful.

Looks like it got used to wipe an ogre’s ass.

Is your friend suggesting that you were the one who wrote this inscription? You find that idea a bit hard to swallow. Still, your friends are always babbling about time travel...

Friends, plural? Just how much do Bro and LittleLonde know about the game??

You always thought this inscription was written to your poppop by his nanna, who was your great great grandmother, founder of the corporation you'll inherit in a few years.

Hah, that’s a laugh.

In any case, this message to poppop from his sweet old nanna is the best evidence you have to dispute all this evil batterwitch nonsense. She clearly cared for her grandson very much, and would never start a company responsible for the things it's accused of, let alone be alive today to perpetrate them. But then, what if she wasn't the one who wrote it? This thought makes you very nervous.

What if, indeed? Oh lawd, is she going to have one of those heroic BSOD moments John is prone to at the slightest revelation?

You suddenly remember your dream. What did it mean? You should talk to Jake about all this.

YES. YES, GOOD. *rubs hands together furiously*

Oh god, they’re both gonna get brainjacked, aren’t they.

GG: J, how goes the bunnyquest?

No need to be coy, Harley Quinn, we already know his name!

GG: What is it that has you hamstrung? Did you ever track down the slippery Mr. Strider?

And now I’m picturing young Bro slathered in Crisco. Great.

GT: Not exactly. GT: His stupid doppelglasses have set me on a wild goose chase to go pry his dumb robots chest open and swipe its uranium. GG: Sounds dangerous! GT: No shit. GT: I think id rather deal with the monsters.

With... the... what now?? I don’t remember the island having anything living on it besides Jade and Bec. ...We haven’t seen Bec, I presume, because he’s not the First Guardian anymore. So who raised him after Jade died??

GG: Why is it that our two best friends in the world always seem to place themselves at the source of all our problems, while simultaneously presenting their only solutions?

The M.O. of many a movie villain, just waiting in the wings with their million-dollar wonder drug or superhero-killing ammunition. Hmmm...

GG: I'm debating whether or not to enlist his help in the matter of my current imprisonment. But I'd rather keep it as a plan of last resort. GT: Dont do it jane its a trap!!!

Two questions here: how is Bro going to help, and how/why would it be a trap?

GG: Right. Well, not to keep you too long, since we both still have our missions ahead of us, but I wanted to tell you about that dream I had. GT: Oh yeah! GT: I was curious about that. Tell me everything and make it snappy!

I guess the ‘shitknickers’ is implied. Is she going to start her story with “It seems”?

GG: Ok, but, I should say that the nature of the dream was a bit worrisome. GG: And I'm concerned it may have implications for the game we're about to play. GG: So it's probably best that I tell you about it before you leave.

Oh jeez. What exactly did she see?

D’aww, how cute! I love the Prospit dreamers’ dresses.

GG: I woke up on the planet which we have been told about by our mutual acquaintance. GG: The one covered in golden cities. Prospit, remember? GT: Oh. Wouldnt it be prospits moon? GG: Yes, you're right. It was the moon, actually. I could see the planet on the dark horizon.

Wow, not only do LittleLonde, Bro, and mystery!troll know more than they should, but even Jane and Jake are familiar with the game’s constructs.

GG: Are you sure you haven't woken up there before? GT: Haha i WISH. GT: I have received reports from jade about this as well. She liked to talk about her dreams on prospits moon a lot. GG: I see. The impression I have developed is that this is supposed to be a real place, and all who dream there have shared experiences. GG: Did Jade ever mention seeing us there? GT: No but why would she? This was long before we were born! She was dreaming there like a hundred years ago or something.

Are you sure?

GASP! Those Prospitians are all naked!! Is that what they look like before prototyping occurs?

GG: I explored the moon, and began to notice people gathering in the streets. GG: But they weren't human. They were funny looking, perfectly white creatures. GT: Yeah those are prospitians. GT: They have these hard carapace shells and also have something to do with chess i think?

Well at least we don’t have to endure everything getting explained in excruciating detail all over again.

...WAIT DON’T FUCKING TELL ME MYSTERY!TROLL IS GOING TO GIVE ANOTHER SPIEL ON TROLL ROMANCE.

GG: Well, I don't know if they had much to do with chess here. GG: The more closely I observed, the more they appeared somewhat despondent. GT: Like... GT: Sad? GG: Yes. GG: I determined they were in mourning, actually.

Oh, shit. There’s only three people I can think of that they might have been mourning, and none of them is a good person to have die before the game even fucking starts.

GT: Hey. GT: Jane you said i was in this dream. Where do i come in? GG: Shoosh! I'm getting there.

OH FUCK.

Ah okay, so they are wearing clothes, just boring monochromatic ones.

GG: More and more Prospitians were filing out of the buildings every moment. GG: They all began to form a single, major procession. GG: When I got closer, I could see that some were in tears. GG: I realized this was a funeral.

If it’s not for the White King or Queen, then...

GG: I heard whispers, but couldn't make out what they were saying, so I got closer. GG: They were all saying the same thing, over and over.

All work and no play makes... Jack... an omnipotent god dog?

GG: "The Page is dead." GG: "Our hope is lost."

OH NOOOOOOO! How the heck is he ever going to go god tier?? :’(

GT: The page? GT: Whos that?

It’s you, Jake. :’( :’( :’(

GG: Jake. GG: The Page was you.

A beautiful image, and somber words, made only slightly more humorous by the fact that they echo Toby Fox’s illicit masterpiece.

GT: Oh. GT: Drat.

About as expressive as Dave’s ‘welp’.

GT: Are you sure?

Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

GG: Yes, I saw your body lying in a sort of coffin, on a bed of flowers. You were dead as a doornail.

If he were actually named Jake (Jacob) Harley, that would have been quite clever. Ah well, near miss.

GG: Everyone was so distraught! GG: Including me. :(

Awww. Either they’re totally destined for each other, or... well, we’ll see. I ship it, I guess.

GG: I hope I'm not too late to "warn" you, though to be frank I don't have the foggiest clue what it is I'm warning you about. GG: "Dear Jake, oh please do try not to... have already... died in my dream? Likely while you were sleeping, perhaps peacefully?"

Yeah, you’re a little late on that one. Unless we missed something about this all being in one of Skaia’s dream clouds... in which case it would inevitably happen anyway. Gosh, this is bad!! We know there’s an alternate way to get to the god tiers in the form of the quest slabs at the center of Prospit/Derse, but the few times we saw that in action, it was the players’ dream selves that died on them.

...Come to think of it, why not use the quest slab for a funeral bier instead of the coffin? It might have made for a far more interesting and, uh, lively funeral.

GT: And um same goes for you about being careful what with these various rogues accosting you with foul play lately and whatnot...

Rogue... player class? Eh, could be reaching.

GG: Now let's get this silly old adventure off to the races before the coat of dust it's growing gets any thicker.

Coat of dust? A coat antithetical to Lord English’s technicolor dreamcoat?

> Jake: Get silly old adventure off to the races.

And it looks like we’re Jake again!

He’s wearing cleats? How fucking dorky. Now PLEASE don’t fake us out the second he steps outside, unless it’s to show us LittleLonde or Bro. I could live with that.

Ok, something REALLY weird is going on here, and I don’t just mean the pumpkins. That doesn’t look like Jade’s house as I’m used to seeing it. It looks like... the arm that connects the bedroom to the main body of the house broke off? What’s the deal??

SHIT, I was right. And not only are there a metric fuckton of pumpkin vines, but also... a whole forest? I don’t remember seeing a single tree on Jade’s island. So things post-Scratch are different, in ways that aren’t yet quite clear. What was the catalyst for change?

Although these pumpkin vines are amazingly prolific, every morning when you leave your bedroom, you'd swear half the pumpkins vanished over night. It's probably just the FAUNA eating them. Not that it matters, because they keep growing right back.

Are these ‘fauna’ the monsters he was talking about with Jane? Did Jade have a whole safari imported or something?

It wasn't always overgrown like this. When you first discovered the TRANSMATERIALIZER, you started messing around with it haphazardly. You kept appearifying pumpkins from somewhere.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS JAKE ALL ALONG. And Jade never knew, did she?? That’s fucking priceless.

It was just pumpkin after pumpkin, until one time a copy of the bunny you inherited from grandma showed up, much less old and tattered of course.

Aha, so that’s how their communication started! And presumably also how he had two versions of the bunny, one to give to John, and the other to send to Jane. One question down, 99 million to go.

You brought all the surplus pumpkins home and left them lying about. Then the seeds sprouted and started growing out of control. You guess that's what happens when you introduce nonindigenous FLORA into the wilderness.

Ok but pumpkins don’t grow on trees, so that still doesn’t explain the forWHOA WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT IN THE BACKGROUND??

“”FAUNA””?????

KARKAT’S LUSUS???????

HOW THE FUCK

DID THAT EVEN GET THERE, I DON’T KNOW

> Jake: Be completely oblivious to thing in background.

Hah, that almost sounds like a user submitted request.

You successfully fail to notice it.

Pfffahahaha.

Wait notice what? You don't even know what we're talking about here. But it doesn't matter for now because suddenly a wild chum assails you with banter!!!

Woo, more LittleLonde!! Yes, yes, I am ok with this.

Oh my god, it IS Karkat’s lusus, except horrifyingly even bigger. And it looks like it’s got it out for Jake...

TG: holy shit jaaaje TG: lol *k

Jaje. Yes. Totally should have been his name.

GT: Howdy! GT: What is all this commotion about? TG: nothin TG: just your basic run o the mill holy shit TG: and also TG: hi

OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE’S ADORABLE. I haven’t even known her that long, but she’s quickly rocketing up my favorites list. I’ll have to do a recap of the list when I’m done with this Act Act.

TG: also TG: want 2 know TG: what do you want for ur wigglin day

Awww, that’s cute too. Did she pick up that term from mystery!troll?

GT: Im not really abreast of the raddest jargon that the cool kids toss about these days. GT: Maybe because i live alone on an island? I dont know but in any case are you referring to my upcoming birthday? TG: ys GT: I see. Very thoughtful of you to consider so early! GT: I dont wager i could advise with much specificity but i can all but assure you i will find any gesture of yours to be totally capital! TG: eeaauuuuurghh you are so fuckin adorable

NO U.

GT: Um... *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts* TG: YOINK nabs kerfief an stops RPing for rest of chat

Ahahaha, shut the fuck down.

TG: i wouldnt get the chance TG: unless we play this game like a bunch ofsuckers obviously

*[S] Cascade flashbacks*

TG: if you want 2 know what i think.......... GT: Yes? TG: do ya? GT: I do want to know what you think! GT: I always want to know. Because you are always smart and sassy.

Truth.

TG: i really dont think we should GT: Should what now? TG: play the game GT: Why not? TG: the barnoness wants us to TG: * baroness TG: i dont know why TG: everything i know about it says it should be a good game and real important and itll let us all get togehter and do somethin great and be besf friends for maybe eternity? TG: but she took all that and twisted it somehow

On the one hand, I know that they really do have to play for the story to go anywhere, but on the other, if the drunken Cassandra gets a bad feeling about it, you know shit’s gonna go wrong.

TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen TG: * horbible TG: * whore bible TG: ^ bullseye

PLEASE CAN I JUST MARRY HER???

GT: Well... GT: Whore bibles notwithstanding i have it on terrific authority that playing this game will be incredibly important! GT: So perhaps youre right maybe we are part of her evil plan? But does that also necessarily rule out that good will come of it? TG: i guess not TG: i just have a bad feelin

...Aaaand she said the words, so it’s pretty much guaranteed. But Jake’s not wrong, in any case; some good will come out of it by the end. I hope.

TG: maybay im just like this nutty ass bitsh twirling yarn from a shitwizards nappy brown beard but i cant bring myself to trust a cake sellin genocidal alien overlard sea queen TG: * overl... TG: n/m that santence chx out GT: Agreed. :D

ALRIGHT, that’s it, I’m setting a date. You’re all invited to our wedding this upcoming 4/13.

TG: so what is the itinerary again GT: Intinerwhosit? TG: regarding the game TG: whosplaying in what order etc GT: Oh. Is there such an itinerary? TG: yeah i think so i think its going like TG: i start with jane and bring her in the session TG: then ds brings me in and you bring him in and them jane does you and closes the loop

That makes sense, although if we go the way of the pre-Scratch session, “”DS”” will be serving more than one player. Ugh, ENOUGH with this initial shit, JUST GIVE ME THE D!!!

...Ahem.

GT: Where are you getting this intel? Did you guys make a plan or something? TG: nah dont wory about it

From mystery!troll, I guess. Though for all her talk of causal spoilers, she sure has imparted just about everything ‘nonessential’ down to the finest detail.

GT: Ooh, these illicit hacked warez which i heartell were recently jimmied piping hot off the interclouds? TG: ahahah i love that you were barely even joking with that statement bup yeah basically GT: The silicon pickpocket strikes again!!! Whom is the wiser? Nobody. TG: ffffffffff <3

FUCK I love these kids. Almost makes it acceptable that I’m probably not going to see the original human kids for a while yet.

TG: k ill send it but GT: Yeah? TG: jake GT: What? TG: jjjjjaaake GT: !!!!!? TG: youre wearin one of ur dumb computers now arent you GT: Uh... TG: you are all thinktyping at me right now while wearing something rudiculous TG: * RUDEdiculous (hi five 2 self) GT: Hogswallop! Why would you even think that? GT: Thats so stupid.

Eeeeee, call back! Also, is it totally pathetic of me that I fucking teared up laughing rereading John and Rose’s banter? I LOVE ALL THESE KIDS SO MUCH.

W’uh oh. I’d bet that’s not just a friendly tap on the shoulder inbound.

TG: im not letting either of you run this file on your shitty brainwashy propaganda helmets or anything else u got to wear to run TG: tis my one condition

YES, AND A GOOD AND REASONABLE ONE, TOO. Listen to the drunk, Jake!!

GT: Then you have decided to play in spite of your reservations? TG: i dunno i guess GT: Bravo! TG: dont all bravo @ me man youre just bravoing a big ass shrug TG: i mean maybe TG: i have every reason to want to play it TG: im actually dying to play it ok

Well fuck, I hope that’s not foreshadowing. Of course, the chances of that being true are like, infinitesimal.

TG: ahh CHRIST waht a geneltman TG: *fixfix

Huh, this must be awful to read for dyslexics.

TG: but thats the thing with you TG: you belvieve in people and also the things they tell you TG: jane never believed my crap TG: never any of my warnings about the baroness TG: didnt believe any of the stuff about my mom TG: and so on and so on and soon

Makes sense, since he’s a Page of Hope!

TG: til after awhile i just stopped even trying to convince her hard or bring up any crazy shit TG: because u know doing a lot of songs and dances to convince somebody who thinks youre jush shitting them all the time kind of wears on a friendship TG: and who even needs that

Awww, that’s actually super sad. I know how frustrating it is when you need somebody to believe you, and they don’t, or they refuse. It’s pretty terrible.

TG: but you believe in stuff TG: probbly because the more crazy fake shit you believe in the more open the world gets and the more chance there is for adventures being real right GT: Right o! If a man believes hard enough in imaginary things then i dare say that makes them slightly less fake!

The power of a Page of Hope, I presume? I wonder if we’ll see this in action! It could have some great applications in-game.

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection?

OH NOOOOOO. Cat’s out of the bag, I guess! How will he react? Did he already have an inkling, or is this a surprise? And does he like Jane baaaaack?

TG: nope nope nope nope nope nope TG: hey look who didnt say nothin about that why it is this silly fuckin drunk girl over here

YOU’RE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE, LITTLELONDE.

GT: Its a tricky issue. And you know i adore jane and please dont think i havent given some thought to... GT: Well that angle on our relationship i guess.

Oh jeez, I’m sensing a ‘but’.

GT: Oh. Yeah i can see the dilemma this causes for your friendship with her. GT: Ill drop it. TG: whew TG: ok ont this topic TG: i am now an forever TG: miss zupperlips TG: * zupperlups TG: * ziperlups TG: sjkhfskjf TG: * MISS ZUIPPERPIPS TG: fuck TG: k this is me 4 futref TG: ZIIIIIIIP TG: ^+++++++^

I, NORA, DO THEE WED, ET CETERA ET CETERA

...Shit I don’t even know her name.

GT: Haha oh my. GT: Nothing is escaping that lovely ladys whistlemaker! Its shut tight as a drum!! TG: mmmmrrmmmnnmmm GT: Whoa wait i hope that didnt sound dirty...

Well it didn’t until you said something, JAKE.

GT: If in the future i would like to bring up certain topics completely unsolicited by one who may be sworn to secrecy on those very matters... GT: And im in need of i guess neutral and totally non compromising advice from a friend do you think that miss zuipperpips might unseal those scandalous metal choppers for a bit? GT: Fuck that also sounded kinda dirty!!! God dammit. TG: rm TG: unzip yeah of course TG: im totals your bee eff effsy jake TG: i am like TG: AT PEACE with that reality fromerly known as a raw fuckin deal for what avenues it closes betewen u and i that bein your bffsy has got to mean but yeah

GT: Wait what? TG: i am just chill as fuck about being a pale friend to all varieties of cute and eligible as hell peeps TG: do you see my shoulder and how it says hey friend plz deposit tears here? TG: that is a LEGIT invite and is like sincere as fuckin BANANAS

Ok so I’m laughing at this, but at the same time, that’s another troll concept she has no business knowing about. Damn, I wonder how the story would have gone if the original four kids had been as friendly with the trolls as these kids are. Would have saved a ton of time, I bet.

GT: Oh. Im sure it is but i dunno how much crying im going to be doing... GT: Probably none i think.

Pfffahaha.

TG: up to his neck in TG: all the wopes TG: * woes GT: Nah its cool. TG: speaking of which TG: i heard hes making u track down his roboself TG: to kill it or something for uranimum

So... she used ‘speaking of which’ to bridge a conversation about people liking Jake to talking about Bro without even mentioning him by name. I guess that means everybody really DOES want the English booty.

GT: Sigh... TG: and TG: the AR disabled the novice setting??? GT: Yes. TG: hahahahahahhahahahshshshjsjsj TG: *hahaha TG: u r so fucked

I know it’s getting redundant, but AHAHA I LOVE HER.

GT: I was actually just getting all of my final affairs in order when you messaged me. GT: I was to bequeath to you all my WAB posters. TG: wab wut GT: Weekend at bernies dammit!!!!!! TG: oh fuck yeay TG: im always in need of something to put under my cats shit box

HEEEEEEEEE.

TG: ok tell you what TG: as an early wigglin day thing u know what ill do GT: I still dont really get the wiggling thing but no what? TG: ill enable the brobots novice setting again for you GT: Wow... GT: Thanks i think???

How the heck is she going to do that? Convince the auto responder? Or is she really as technically inclined as she jokes about being?

Look, LOOK, IT’S EVEN GRUMBLING IN KARKAT GRAY.

It is time to get DEAD SERIOUS about hunting down a robot that looks exactly like your best friend, destroy it with your guns somehow, and steal its uranimum.

Well, it’s a little disturbing when you put it like that. Somehow I didn’t realize that the robot actually really looks like Bro...?

You totally forgot about the FRIGHTENING FAUNA on this island, and its regrettable REALNESS ATTRIBUTE.

OH M YGOD, HIS FUCKING BEDSHEETS. I HAD THE CLUE RIGHT THERE AND I MISSED IT.

> Jake: Turn around.

I smell another psyche or a character select screen...

WHOA OR NOT. WOW THAT THING IS HUGE.

> [S??????] ==>

Hmm, that’s new. *click*

...Eh? It’s just a static gif page. Is this a call back to Karkat not having an actual strife flash?

You leap into the tropical island fray in an attempt to violently pacify the gigantic Earth crabdad.

CRABDAD. CANON. And it’s not even that far out of the realm of reason for a non-troll to call it that, like how weirdo Yankees call crawfish ‘crawdads’. Also, that’s NOT the correct method for shoosh-papping, Jake.

What is he even doing here? The question doesn't even occur to you. The island has been crawling with these things for as long as you can remember.

HMMM. So... LittleLonde is spouting troll slang, and Jake’s island has Alternian lususes (lusii?) all over it. HIC is pretty much fucking guaranteed to be Earth’s new First Guardian.

You glance at the crudely rendered battle, direct your browser to the HOMESTUCK BANDCAMP PAGE, and browse for suitable battle music. Oh god, there are so many songs. Which one would be a good fit for this duel? Wait, yes, there's one. That's perfect. You hit play, close your eyes, and become lost in visions of gnashing crustacean carapace, smoking M9 casings, and Jake doing that thing where he flies through the air shooting two guns at once. Yes, so awesome.

Ahahaha, totally a call back. I’m not clicking that link, though, because it looks like it goes to the Bandcamp’s main page.

You do the thing where you fly through the air shooting two guns at once. That thing isn't even that big of a deal for you. You do that thing practically every day on hellmurder island. Your furious salvo of deadly bullets scares the FRIGHTENING FAUNA off into the jungle, REALNESS ATTRIBUTE and all.

That, or it’s just running away from an even bigger monster, like in that stupid fucking scene from Episode I.

...OR IT’S RUNNING AWAY FROM TINKERBULL. :D :D :D

Another triumph for adventure. Time to blow the smoke off your berettas and saunter off into the... whoa not so fast! Behind you, Jake!!!

What’s it gonna do, make him sneeze with its tinkerdust??

AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT.

WHAT????

NO, OH NOOOO, GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVEN... FUCK!!!

D: D: D:

This is almost as bad as the FIRST time Tinkerbull got killed.

Oh nooo. It was only one of those sweet little fairy bulls. You just murdered him inappropriately with your multi-bullet device. You love those little fairy bulls. You feel just awful.

Well at least he’s appropriately upset about it. And it seems there’s more than one Tinkerbull-like lusus on the island?

OH SHIT BROBOT. Yeah, it’s stalking the shit out of him, isn’t it.

So we’ve got a silhouette, which, unsurprisingly, looks just like the halfway point between baby Bro and adult Bro. HOW IS THAT HAIR EVEN POSSIBLE.

So like... I’m looking at this and trying to figure out the geometry of how dat coif would actually work in 3d, and... yeah. I got nothin’.

> Jane: Implement plan of last resort.

A wild Jane appears! Maybe she’s got her own brobot or something that’s going to help her escape?

You have waited around long enough. Dad's legendary car wash won't last forever, and the day isn't getting any younger. You pack up poppop's book and bust out your trusty HOMING DEVICE.

Homing device for...?

Here goes nothing.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?????

WAIT, OH GOD, WHAT’S HAPPENING.

ILHGHKSDJKGHSKDHSKDD

*hurk*

IT’S NOT A SMUBBIT. IT’S A FUCKING SHITKICKING BITCH ASS BROBOT BUNNY. HE BUILT HER A BROBOT BUNNY.

...I debated ‘bronny’, but that’s too close to the Subculture Which Shall Not Be Named.

Anyway, it’s as cute as it is horrifying and I kind of love it. I mean, look at its eensy little sword!! Also, interesting that the blue of it and the brobot’s hat logo is a perfect inverse of Bro’s orange.

God he is such a little troublemaker. Hopefully he will mind his manners today.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, her face. <3 <3 <3

WHOA WHAT THE SHIT, Jake’s whole house is destroyed!! How did this happen???

Not only is the island forested now, but the volcano on Jade’s island that was dormant is now active, and there’s a fucking PYRALSPITE flying overhead. Also a whale lusus like the one Eridan killed, and... fucking... Those are a bunch of Aurthours, aren’t they.

I just... I don’t even.

Jake: Behold zoological splendor.

JESUS UDDERFUCKING CHRIST. Fuck, I’m having Humanimals flashbacks.

Looks like the centaur herd is out in full force today. You have to be careful about walking under them. There are extreme hazards involved, such as the threat of falling manure, or milk.

UGH UGH UGH, I just had one of those really unpleasant full body shivers.

HOLY SHIT. It just occurred to me that the frog temple has EIGHT PILLARS. Did it always? Did I just miss it way back in the day? If so, shame on me.

There are the ruins you'll be making your way toward once you've got the uranium.

Aha, so the transmaterializer is inside the temple!

Still need to locate that enigmatic brobot. He's out there, somewhere. Just watching. You can feel it. Can't let your guard down for a second, or you'll get served like a dude on butler island.

...Considering it’s populated by a herd of Aurthours, it basically IS butler island.

Aaaaah, it’s a whole flock of Tinkerbulls!

Uh oh. Something's coming up.

Wait, if the whale lusus is in the sky, then what’s this?

OH FUCK, IT’S GAMZEE’S CAPRICORN SEAGOAT.

AND IT IS NOT HAPPY.

Unfortunately, that’s where I’ve got to leave it for tonight! Not as long a post as I’d have liked it to be, but I ought to have time to finish up the stretch before my next audio reaction very soon. Looks like we’re switching back over to Jane next, which is fine, because as much as I want to see how this fight plays out, I’m curious as SHIT about the robunny.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 67 #Act 6 #A6A1

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

Text

Episode #10: “He wanted to have this ginormous dick energy" - Brian

Well losing Keaton wasn't in the plan. He was one of my closest allies. I may have screwed things up with Brian. Maybe if I can come up with a lie good enough, we could believe me. Sharky knows that I liked Keaton so maybe theres still trust there. Hopefully. Im still working with Nathan but hopefully he still wants to work with me even though Keaton is gone. I know for sure that I have Bryce. At least that's one ally but who knows.

OKAY OKAY OKAY. Thank fucking GOD. Everything worked out. All the other votes were for Matt so there is no question who is a liar. Because everyone is a liar. But it doesn't matter because our plan worked. Matt is still here. I'm still here. AND KEATON IS NOT!!! Now of course everybody is scrambling to apologize to me. Nick is like oh it was so last minute. Maynor is like "i liked you both so it would keep you both". Nathan is spewing some nonsense. Bryce honestly kind of owned up and laughed it off which tbh i respect. And of course my girl Anna checked in and I told her we are golden. Because we are. Anna was 100% up front with me about this plan so I trust her A LOT now. I told her Brian and I didn't tell Matt about the plan, which is a lie, but it's the smart thing to tell her because it keeps her from being put in another tough position. And I never told Matt Anna was the leak. So Anna should be safe from any fallout after this vote. Nothing to do now but move forward and hopefully Matt or I win immunity and the FB Bois can carry on.

Update: I'm sure as hell not winning immunity because I only got 3 out of 25. Embarrassing. Physical threat who?

Bryce is my final 2. There, I've said it. I'm 100% solid on this man as my fellow finalist! I really hope that we are able to navigate our way to finals together... like, we have our plans, we spilled all the tea... basically Nick and Maynor just continuously lied to me, and like... idk... I feel like Bryce could be lying, but I just feel too good about this connection that I think it's a real final deal.

So fuck me with a spoon and call me Sally because I finally feel amazing about an ally to the end.

Also, we have our "potential vote order."

8. Nick - A goat that could just be brought to the end. He's not too bad, but he's also someone who could easily replace me in the Sharky-Matt-me trio. 7. Annabelle - Break her duo with Nathan up while also breaking her trust circle with Sharky. I think it would be ideal for me to take her out now. 6. Sharky - He's the biggest threat and you can't keep the biggest threat around for too long, no matter how much you trust them.

Top 5: Me, Bryce, Nathan, Matt, and Maynor. This isn't the cutest final 5 ever, but I feel like this sets me and Bryce up for the best final 2.

5. Biggest challenge threat, whoever that may be. 4. Biggest challenge threat now (if it's final 2). If it's final 3, then biggest jury threat. 3. Final loser (if it's final 2).

1+2. Me and Bryce. Kings.

omg so brian is my f2 now and thats so iconic... so we think the boot order is gonna be like nick anna sharky and then reevaluate for comp threats.... like so i didnt want to vote matt bc i didnt want to lie to brian bc i really wanted to work with him but nathan convinced me to anyway esp bc we knew anna voted matt already and then GHOSTED. but then matt played idol so someone (maybe nick) prob told him/sharky about the plan... sketchy anyway it worked out bc i hate keaton and am happy hes gone. so when tribal ended i noticed sharky brian matt werent leaving call and they were all the minority voters... well majority bc of the idol... so i went into damage control. it was so iconic bc i didnt even pm sharky or matt just brian bc i really only felt bad about lying to him bc i wanted to work with him so much and matt doesnt respond that much and well sharky maybe i was a lil bad feeling about lying but w/e. i just joked around with them didnt hide anything and was my usual charming self... so i was honest with them about what happened bc i realized like i dont want to work with ppl who lie to me. i forgot if i mentioned this but like keaton and nick refused to tell me they were voting matt even tho we were all supposed to be in on it. and while everyone else was lying about why they voted or when the plan was formed i decided to be forth right. idk if thatll come back to haunt me but hope not NNNN. i was on that call for 7 hours. thats dedication NFJAJDFSHKAJS although they were all iconic and fun to talk to anyway so wasnt that hard but i sleep at midnight the latest usually and it was 2am. but w/e i pushed through bc tiredness is passing but positioning myself properly is NECESSARY. once it was just brian and i we shared everything or at least i did KJFASDKJFA he kept being a lil shady but i think it was fair bc i did just lie to him. i told him about nathans vote spy and the og absolem (minus nick) alliance and all the stuff ppl were saying and he told me about how he knew of matts idol bc he himself had a vote steal and they traded info. so loved that tbh!!! like if we have to use it this round itll set us up good it think, plan is to take out nick bc he can be goated to the end and flipped to and we dont want that. then anna bc shes good at comps and wanna split nathan/anna up. then hopefully work with maynor/nathan/(maybe matt) to vote out sharky bc if he gets to the end he'd win we feel like. after that we gotta see who we can beat in comps so we can beast our way to the f2. we think its f2 bc how days line up but like im bad at math so KFJASDHFJSD. anyways me and brian are like the michele and cydney that make it to the end so get ready for that. sorry nathan, thank you next!

I dont know if i said it last confessional but losing Keaton at the moment was really bad. He trusted me and was working with me. But now it looks like Matt want to start a little alliance. Sharky wasnt bad, was just happy it wasnt him, and Brian not mad but upset. I think i literally may be working with everyone left. Scream team with Sharky. OG Dinah with Brian. Shatter but still together me nathan annabelle and bryce. My rams alliance with bryce. And nick talks to me but is only one who hasnt said we should work together.

So we out here still! I am really happy that the idol play worked and it seems to have shaken the 5 who voted against myself, brian and sharky a lot. they are all seemingly panicking and its quite amusing to watch ngl. However, I am pretty sure I can capitalise on this to my own advantage, to swing the numbers my way or at least to take myself to like 5th (which for me is always a good placing). I am sure as hell not done playing yet so woo lets go bitches!

worried brian is closer to matt than me... annabelle once again ignoring. i dont know how to have a convo with matt like on call sure easy love it on discord? not happening. nick... maynor seems off today but we still chatted for a while... maybe im over? whomst knows! love ain

These questions were all out of left field like wow. I didn't even get to read all the questions. I randomly looked at a question and picked a number. I actually knew more of them than the ones I picked. I only got one right and that was Mickey Mouse and I don't even like him that much. Lets hope people are thrown off by these questions and panic like I did.

So Nathan has come and apologized. I really do believe his plan, although it was super selfish, was to get our group of 4 further. So I'm not mad. But the thing is that more so than Nathan lying it showed that he has real POWER in this game. He was able to get a 6 person majority to do what he wanted and convinced them all to lie to me and Brian. So he won't be my next target because he has my back but I don't have his anymore so he better watch out. Nathan is the biggest threat left in this game.

Okay so it's seems all is at peace. Anna had been worried that Nathan would come after me but it seems that passed. And The Jock Destroyers Alliance actually seems to be on the same page for once. Nick is just seeming like an unknown to all of us and we want to cut down on unknowns this late in the game. None of us can guarantee Nick is with us and that is worrisome. So as much as I've tried to work with Nick these past few weeks it might be time to cut my goat loose and move on with a new flock. I guess we'll find out.

I WON IMMUNITY!!! My wig is flown... now I can be more ballsy over the next 24 hours. I want Nick gone. For Nathan and Sharky to think that they're the ones doing this, though, is so annoying because I was literally the one to open this can of worms. In addition, the reason I want Nick gone is because I want him out of Sharky's ass. I don't need the two of them to be besties anymore! I know Sharky is OK with voting him out, but I know Nick thinks him and Sharky are like besties so...

I think that 5 that voted Matt last round were thrown into a tizzy when Keaton went, and so I'm just out here like... lemme revel in the chaos! Maynor and Nathan both were so anxious for my reaction... Nick went explaining to me right away what happened... ugh!! My mind is so big... Sending Nick home this round will be one step closer to fulfilling my top 2 fantasy with Bryce. I love it so much. I really hope all goes to plan, but I am immune so I can't really be too worried since I'll still be here after 24 hours lmfao!!

I would love to be the hero by the end of this season, but I already see my villain arc coming up, and I'm left sitting here like... well, it was bound to happen. The second I turn on Sharky is the second I hit that arc, and it's a plan that's coming sooner rather than later!!

i feel like... im going home its so quiet like brian won immunity and pushed on nick so like he should go but its just so quiet hm.

Well. It looks like it might be me. 🤷‍♂️ No one hs been talking to me so I guess its may be my last day!?

So the vote is either between Me or Nick tonight. And i dont like that. Going to see if I can get Nick and atleast 2 other votes to atleast make it a tie. The only other option right now is to take out Sharky. Im looking to try and get Bryce, Nick, and hopefully Nathan. Brian is safe. That leaves Matt, Annabelle, and Sharky. So like 🤷‍♂️ Imma go out fighting if its me.

So like, this tribal is really quite quiet, but seems to have a clear target in Nick. SOmething of which i will HAPPILY take for myself, as I am just fed up of getting voted atm lmao. Like yes please just give me 1 round of respite then you may come for me again cause I will be ready. I feel close to Maynor and Nathan, mainly cause I have worked on them over the past few days so i feel good about myself and where i stand. will I win? probably not. Am i ok with that? no but if I have to settle I will

Okay for once it seems like there isn't much scrambling. I could be completely wrong and I'll get sent packing but who knows. It should be a quick and easy vote for Nick.

I jinxed it. The moment I said it should be easy NICK GOES OFF IN THE TRIBE CHAT. Trying to basically threaten all of us with the idea that he may have another idol. THEN BRIAN CALLS HIM OUT. And he puts Nick on blast for leaking the Matt plan to us. Which he did do. BUT Anna is actually the one who told us. So Nick either actually has an advantage and will save himself (in which case I don't think I'm his target) or his whole game just BLEW UP. It's messy messy messy.

Well Nick just ruined all the possibilities ih trying to save him. Nathan doesnt seem like we could get the votes so that also gets rid of Annabelle because they are very tight. So my vote is gunna be Nick but just watch its actually me. 🤷‍♂️ I would die but nothing i can really do know.

maybe im boo boo the fool??? theres been iconic fights and stuff and now nick is gonna vote me which is rude but he says hes voting maynor but i doubt that bc maynor tried to save him earlier this round so idk whats happening ppl are saying like dont worry he doesnt have the votes but what if he idols or what if ppl flip or like i dont want any vote against me in the first place. all these ppl so stable bc they arent the ones getting voted. the AUDACITY nick has when ive put up with his bland unanswering self for all these weeks to vote me on his way out??? no ty!!! maynor is like the most NNN idk he just has the worst pokerface i went with his annoying save keaton plan last week and im pretty sure he is going to vote me now too like... maybe dont do that what happen to the stupid :rams: :rams: aries thing we had going... make it add up!

Looks like I’m going home... the only chance I have at staying is if bryce gets out but I’m worried that’s not going to happen... I guess we will see wha happens in a few hours…

AHH!! So I got into a fight with Nick earlier. He wanted to have this ginormous dick energy in the main chat about powers he has and how he KNOWS who mentioned his name... girl, you know NOTHING! He still thinks I've voted for him twice, and highkey if I had read my PMs about the idol before 7:45pm, then I would've voted for him exactly Z E R O times. So fucking ugly...

So yea, I fought him. And I'd say I won. I just hope everyone sends his ass home. Bryce and Nathan are updating me on, like, everything, and we have Maynor who just is beyond sketchy with his PMs.... I really just... WHEW.... I hope Nick's straight ass goes home and it isn't Bryce.

This tribal is going to be one big fat mess... but like i’m ready for it

I dont really want to do Nick tonight but its the best thing for now not to rock the boat. Im just hoping that everyone isnt lying and its some how me tonight. 🤷‍♂️ Just need to trust people who are saying they are doing Nick. But having a weird feeling and hopefully its a false alarm.

Tbh Brian not voting makes me feel sketch about tonight. It may be nothing and just me being worried that my name was thrown out. He said he was going to sleep early but he could have voted early for Nick so like. 🤷‍♂️ Paranoid and im going to die.

Nick is voted out 5-1-1.

#episode #allmadhere

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