#honestly sorry for this but i have just gotten sucked into this drama like a black hole and help i can't get out
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intrigue (Tom Wambsgans x f!reader)
warnings: infidelity, fingering, unprotected piv sex, soft!dom tom, size kink kinda, biting, greg, do NOT have sex with the head of conservative news organizations irl!!!, i am a shivcel fr anything negative abt shiv in here i didn't mean it ily siobhan 🫶, NSFW UNDER THE CUT
word count: 4,740 (i got carried away)
A/N: this is loosely based on s4 e7 but there's no real timeline so it probably takes place like somewhere around season 3 or 4? this is my first succ fic so...enjoy 🤗 & also this took me SO long to write i'm so deeply sorry to anyone who was waiting
also posted to ao3
Tom had never been a fan of the whole “open marriage” arrangement. When he thought back to that fateful night (fateful night…who else would say that about their wedding night?) what he remembered most was the look on Shiv’s face when she told him that she wanted an open marriage. On their wedding night.
It was more for Shiv anyway. Tom rarely thought about actually acting on the arrangement, whether it be out of love for Shiv or loyalty to her father, he wasn’t sure. Sure, he had kissed someone here or done oral there when high on coke, but he had never actually fucked anyone else.
Something was different, though, tonight. Firstly, they were hosting a Waystar/ATN event at their apartment, and despite being chairman of ATN, he wasn't even sure what the evening was for. Shiv had told him about it last minute, casually mentioning it as they were being driven to work, like it was dinner at Logan’s rather than hundreds of media moguls and politicians to host. Actually, dinner at Logan’s felt equally, if not more, important than tonight. A better equivalent for how nonchalantly Shiv had mentioned it would be Connor inviting them somewhere.
Secondly, Shiv had suggested, outright, that they both find someone to hook up with at the party tonight. Earlier in their bedroom, after getting dressed in silence, Shiv had turned to Tom while putting her earrings in to share the idea. He knew she would be acting on it whether or not he did, and why shouldn’t he? It had been a while since he had gotten laid and was verbally (and physically) assaulting Greg a lot more as a result.
Did he just pick someone? How did you approach someone and say, “Hey, I’m in an open marriage but I’ve never actually done anything more than get my dick sucked with anyone else…anyway, let’s fuck!”
Tom fidgeted with his glass as he surveyed the room.
Despite your personal beliefs and the endless human rights violations that Waystar was affiliated with, their (and by extension ATN) events were some of the most lavish you'd ever attended. As a political journalist, it was standard for your company to send a journalist or two to whatever soirée the Roys were throwing. Everyone took turns, and this time you had drawn the short straw. It hadn’t been too bad so far, you thought, although perhaps you were jinxing yourself. You had kept to yourself mostly, chatting with other journalists you frequently saw around the city on assignments, snacking on the hors d'oeuvres, and listening to the ridiculous conversations political and media bigwigs were having.
You had been to an event hosted by the Roys before, but they were usually at ATN, Waystar, or some expensive venue. Being invited as a member of the press to Shiv Roy’s apartment felt strangely intimate. You were certain this was some calculated business move on the part of one Roy or the other, but you honestly didn’t really care. Whatever drama was happening within Waystar Royco was contained within the Roy family. You were simply here to supplement a piece your coworker was writing on the atmosphere of this political season.
It was only an hour into the party when you had collected all the quotes and interviews you needed, and sampled almost all of the hors d'oeuvres. Your boss expected journalists to stay for most, if not all, of the night for these things, in case some political bombshell were to happen. You were pretty sure nothing too monumental was going to happen in this room full of suits, especially with all of the Roys notably absent from the festivities. Even Shiv, whose house it was, looked like she wasn't paying any attention to what was going on in her home. In fact, she had been in the corner all night, talking to some prominent New York and D.C. women, important enough that you knew their faces but not important enough for you to attach any names to them.
You checked your phone for the time. You could probably get away with leaving in another hour if you made up some family emergency as an excuse for your editor. Even another hour seemed like ages. Maybe you could re-interview some people? Speak to some guests whose quotes would never make it in the article just to kill time? Sighing, you opened your messages, thumbs hovering over the chat with your editor, putting your journalism degree to use by brainstorming an excuse to get you back home in your bed before ten o’clock. When you turned around to pace while you typed (a nervous habit), you found yourself face-to-face with one of your hosts.
It felt like a fucking cliché. Literally bumping into someone at a party? If one of your writer friends wrote something like this, you'd tell them it was bullshit and things like that didn't happen in real life. Yet here you were, inches away from–
“Tom Wambsgans, Chairman of Global Broadcast News at ATN.” He introduced himself, reaching out a hand for you to shake.
You returned the handshake, grateful that he wasn’t offended by you bumping into him. “I know who you are.”
“And I know who you are.” He paused. “That sounded stalkerish, didn’t it? I meant, I know who you are because I’ve read your articles.”
“You have?” You were surprised. Your company and your articles in particular were considered left-leaning, the very opposite of the stories ATN ran.
He nodded. “Gotta keep up with the competition. I’ve seen some of your features on the network, as well.”
“Really? I would have thought you would just watch ATN all day,” you teased.
Tom made a face and then shook his head. “No, no, no. Plus, I wouldn’t really call any of our journalists ‘journalists’ so much as pretty faces. You do your own research and look good on the camera. That’s impressive.”
You raised an eyebrow and Tom’s eyes widened, processing what he had just said.
“God, I do sound like a fucking stalker.”
You laughed, “Just a little bit.” You let him cringe for a second, then smiled to reassure him. “No, but I’ve seen some of your interviews since you took over ATN. You look good on the camera, too.” You paused, before adding, “Maybe that makes us both a little stalkerish.”
His eyes lit up at your response, earning a genuine laugh (the first one that night not faked for some suit, he noted).
“Uh, sorry for bumping into you. I wasn't looking where I was going,” you explained, waving your phone in your hand for context.
“Ah, cell phone. The curse of the twenty-first century.”
You furrowed your brow involuntarily for a moment. He wasn't how you expected the spouse of a Roy to be like. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you weren't yet sure.
“I’m making a huge ass of myself, aren't I?” He sighed. “I’ll leave you to the party–”
“No! It’s okay. Stay,” you heard yourself say. It was Tom’s turn to raise an eyebrow. Okay. You found him attractive. And even despite his eccentric comments, you also found yourself wanting to talk to him more. You were, however, purposely avoiding looking at the wedding ring on his finger.
To Tom, it all seemed too perfect. You, for example. He was being honest when he said he had seen and read some of your work and that he enjoyed it, and he did sometimes watch other networks to get an idea of the competition, but he had left out the fact that there was something about you in particular that made him watch the entire segment when you happened to be on air. And the fact that sometimes he'd scroll through your articles online and imagine you reading them aloud to him. But he wasn’t a stalker. And now you were here, in his house, on the night that his wife had all but shoved him into the bed of anyone that he wanted.
But still; one pleasant, slightly flirtatious conversation didn't mean you wanted to ride off into the sunset with him. Or, more accurately, go upstairs with him.
He scanned the room for Siobhan. Although it had been her suggestion, and he knew she had acted on the arrangement before, he still felt like it was somehow a trap. Like she’d hire someone to hide behind the bedroom door that night and catch him with his pants down (literally) to use as blackmail.
But sure enough, she was across the room, laughing at something some lobbyist had said, and resting her hand on the other woman’s arm slightly longer than a casual touch would last.
The longer he thought about it, the more confident he felt. If you were interested, he wanted to spend the night with you. And maybe more. But he was getting ahead of himself.
“It's kind of loud over here. Come on,” he gestured with his head toward the opposite corner of the apartment, one not occupied by any guests save for an elderly politician snoring on the couch.
You followed him, nodding when he asked if you wanted another drink before picking a champagne flute off of a passing server’s tray. He handed it to you once you reached the corner, your hands touching during the exchange. It seemed like even more of a cliché to feel sparks fly at this tiny touch, so you ignored that, as well.
“You host these kinds of things often?” You asked, leaning against the wall and taking a sip of your champagne. The room was full of very important people, though none of them seemed to be talking about very important things. You couldn't quite wrap your head around why a high-level executive who had married into one of the largest media conglomerates was wasting his time talking to you (flirting with you?), but you had seen stranger things in this city.
He grimaced and shook his head. “No, no. I’m usually just a guest.” Tom laughed and took a sip of his drink. “And not a very important one, at that.”
“I’m sure that's not true. I mean, how many people watch ATN? And you’re in charge of what airs or doesn't air.”
“1.89 million,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink, “Outside of the office, nobody’s really worried about what I think.”
“Not even your wife?” You stopped after you said the words, giving your brain a second to catch up with your mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect, I–”
“No, no, no, no, it’s okay,” he assured you, reaching out to rest a hand on yours consolingly. Tom leaned in closer so only you would hear him, unnecessary considering the secluded corner you two were in.
“But no, not even my wife.”
Your eyes darted to his hand atop yours, suddenly aware of how large his hands were. They almost completely covered yours, and they felt so comfortable and right there, like–
“We have an open marriage,” he suddenly said.
“Oh.”
Tom seemed disappointed with this reaction, quickly removing his hand from yours and adding, “That’s just to say that, our marriage is, uh, unconventional, so her not caring what I have to say isn’t that unusual.”
You were still processing the feel of his hand on yours, much less the revelation that he actually might be flirting with you and that it actually might go somewhere. By the time your thoughts caught up with you, it seemed like he was about ready to excuse himself and go scream at his reflection in the bathroom.
“Well, I’m sorry about that,” you responded, mirroring his gesture from before and resting your hand on top of his to comfort him. “You don’t deserve that, really.”
He scoffed. “You don't know what I deserve.”
You looked up at him, taking the time to absorb the look in his eyes that revealed just how much he was going through.
“Uh, Tom?”
Tom rolled his eyes and turned away from you to snap at the source of the interruption. “What, Greg? Can’t you see I’m having a conversation?”
“It’s just–well, Shiv is leaving with someone.” The taller man gestured at the door, where sure enough, Shiv was weaving her way through the crowd toward the elevators with the lobbyist from earlier, her hand guiding her by the small of her back.
Tom bit the inside of his cheek. “Well, Greg, we do have an open marriage. So, everything’s fine. Now, scram.”
Greg looked between the two of you and hesitated for a second before nodding and disappearing back into the bustle of the party.
Tom turned back to you. “That’s Shiv’s cousin, Greg. I’ve sort of taken him under my corporate wing, so to speak. Showing him the ropes and all that.”
You nodded, finishing your champagne.
“Well,” he said.
“Well,” you echoed.
He paused for a minute, though it seemed to last much longer than that. “You’re writing an article about this party, right?”
“Yeah,” you responded, unsure of where he was going with this.
Tom leaned in, lowering his voice. “What would your editor say if you got a behind-the-scenes look at the party?”
You raised your eyebrow.
“Of course, you'd have to come upstairs…” Something shifted in his tone. You were well aware of what the change implied, and you’d be lying if you said you didn't want to jump at the offer. This wasn’t you, though. Sleeping with a married man? On top of that, not just any married man, but the host of the party that you were covering for work. It sounded like a problem you’d encounter on an Intro to Ethics exam. But any moral qualms you had about the issue were pushed out of your head when you registered the way Tom was looking at you.
“Of course,” you repeated, nonchalantly, setting your empty champagne glass on a nearby table.
Something flickered in Tom’s eyes. “Shall we?”
“Lead the way, Wambsgans,” you replied, gesturing dramatically.
Neither of you spoke for the entire walk away from the excitement of the party to the quiet of Tom’s bedroom. It looked much like you had expected it to look: modern, chic, and impersonal. You were sure Tom (or Shiv) had some personal items somewhere in the house, but the bedroom was so clean and styled that the only indication anyone slept or dressed in there was some of Shiv’s makeup and jewelry strewn haphazardly on the vanity.
When he had closed the door behind you, Tom stepped closer to you experimentally, as if he was afraid you'd flee like a wild deer if he moved too fast. You stepped closer as well, which seemed to give Tom the permission he was looking for. Within seconds, his mouth was on yours, his hands cupping your face, all tongue and teeth. There was hunger and desperation in the kiss, but it was hypnotizing, beckoning you deeper and deeper. He was almost doubled over to reach you (god, he was tall), so you shifted your weight to stand on your tiptoes.
Tom broke the kiss, leaving you with a confused look on your face.
He shed his suit jacket, throwing it carelessly on the floor. Next, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. Tugging on the length of his tie, he loosened it enough to undo a few buttons at his collar, revealing an inviting expanse of chest hair.
“Turn around,” he told you, snapping you out of your male-stripper-fantasy gaze.
You did as he said, something in his tone going straight to your core. You felt him run his hands from your shoulders down your arms, then down your hips and up to your waist, the action bunching up the fabric of your dress. He moved your hair to the side, pressing hot kisses to your neck that made your eyes roll back.
“Can I take this off?” He whispered, his lips trailing up to your ear.
You nodded in response, trembling momentarily under his touch. Tom unzipped your dress, helping you push it down your body and step out of it. He unhooked the back of your bra without moving further. It occurred to you then how wrong this was, to be sleeping with someone else’s husband in their own bedroom, but to your surprise, you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about was the heat of Tom’s gaze on your bare back. You took your bra off the rest of the way and discarded it on the ground next to your dress. Once in only your underwear, you turned back around to face him, watching his eyes follow every curve of your body to drink in the newly exposed skin.
“Wow,” he said, simply, reaching out to grab you by the hips and pull you closer to him. “You’re gorgeous.”
Grinning, you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him again, cradling his face in your hands. You felt him smile back into your kiss. Before you knew it, he had you pressed against the wall, totally enclosed by his larger form. He went from kissing you on your lips to your neck to behind your ear to your chest, as if he couldn't decide which spot deserved the most attention or for how long.
One of his hands slid down to the waistband of your underwear, the cold metal of his wedding ring a shock against your hot skin. You made eye contact with him as his hand slipped between the fabric and your skin cup your cunt, whining when you felt his touch. He seemed to get off on that, capturing you in a kiss again at the same time he slipped a digit into your wet heat. You were too hot; you pressed your hand to his chest to stabilize yourself and pushed your underwear down your legs and kicked them off. Tom smiled at this, getting right back to pumping his finger in and out at a pace that almost made you melt down the wall.
It was probably a power trip thing, you thought, you totally naked and him almost fully clothed. You didn't mind because it was kinda hot, but it wasn't what you had expected from Tom based on the unassuming, Midwestern image of him that was circulated in columns and by the Roys themselves. But, then again, you hadn't expected to find yourself in this position at all when you left your apartment earlier that night.
The pace of his fingers felt so good, so intoxicating, that now that you had him, you needed more of him.
“A-another one,” you whined between kisses.
When you opened your eyes to look at him, Tom had a smug look on his face. Sure, it was arrogant, but it turned you on, so who really cared? “Yeah?” he asked, “You want another one?”
“Tom,” you hissed, gripping onto his shoulder as his finger curled in just the right way that it made your legs go numb.
The look remained on his face, but he added another finger nonetheless. Tom appeared to inhabit both extremes when it came to sex: he really wanted to pleasure you but he also really wanted to do what he wanted. Luckily, those two wants aligned.
He was making you feel so good that you needed to have more of him. Your kisses got sloppier, each so desperate to be further molded with one another that your tongues tried to push impossibly further into the other’s. Tom shifted his hand so he could angle his thumb to rub slow, tantalizing circles on your clit as he continued to pump his fingers. Your grip on his shoulder tightened–you feared your fingernails would leave dents in his skin–but like so many other things tonight, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You could feel the pressure rising in your middle, your cunt clenching around his fingers in anticipation of your impending orgasm, but then it stopped.
You opened your eyes that you hadn't realized were squeezed shut to look at Tom, who had his hand in front of your face, fingers glistening with your slick. “Open,” he encouraged. You obeyed, accepting his fingers into your mouth and licking them clean with a ‘pop.’ He stared at you like you had hung the stars in the sky. He jerked his head toward the bed. “Sit.”
There was authority in his commands, but you didn’t fear him; from the short amount of time you had spent with him, you knew he was at his core a sweet man. You would admit to yourself that you had been curious how his awkward, nervous energy would translate into the bedroom, but once alone, he seemed to be a different man.
You watched him strip off the rest of his clothes eagerly, smiling up at him once he rejoined you on the bed totally naked. He must’ve noticed you staring, because he asked: “Do you want me to put on a condom?”
You shrugged, shifting your eyes back up to his own. “No, it’s okay. I'm on birth control.”
He sighed in relief. “Good. I don't even know if I have one in here.”
“Then why’d you ask?” You laughed, encouraged by the smile that crossed his face when you did so.
“Seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do. If you said yes, I would’ve sent someone to go get one or borrowed one from–”
“Tom?”
“Yeah?”
“Just fuck me already.”
“Alright. If you say so,” he teased, leaning down over you to kiss you. Both your lips were red and puffy from all the kissing and some biting, but it didn’t matter. You could feel his cock pushing against your stomach from the angle, so you reached down to take him in your hand and pump his length.
“Fuck,” he murmured against your skin, face buried in your neck as he pressed kisses to the every inch of available flesh, “Fuck…Can I?”
“Please,” you responded, noticing a little desperate hitch in your voice that you ignored. Tom licked his hand and cupped your sex with it, running the pads of his middle fingers through your folds a few times to collect the wetness between your legs. Gently, he guided his length into your opening
inch by inch, watching your face for any sign of discomfort before bottoming out.
You should’ve expected his dick to be big from his height, the size of his hands, his nose, whatever, but you hadn’t considered just how big. It was quite a stretch to take him fully, but he gave you all the time you needed to adjust and get comfortable. When you were ready, you bucked your hips up into his to give him the okay.
Tom took your permission to move and ran with it, grabbing your left leg and placing it over his shoulder before pressing you down further into the mattress with his body weight so he could thrust into you at a deeper angle.
You lifted your head to meet him to return to making out, the sensation of his tongue down your throat even more erotic now that he was inside of you, as well.
His thrusts were deep but not as aggressive as he had been with his fingers. He wouldn’t vocalize this, or even admit to himself that he was thinking this, but he wanted this to last. As much as it was supposed to be a hookup–emotionless sex–he found himself wanting it to happen again, despite his attempts to push those thoughts deep into the recesses of his mind.
One arm was thrown around Tom’s neck, hand gripping a fistful of his hair. Your other hand went down to your clit, beginning to rub circles to match the pace of his thrusts.
“You wanna cum again?” He teased, “Again, when I haven't cum once?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, playfully, slipping your finger down from your clit to lightly stroke the length of his cock that wasn't fully inside of you.
He let out a moan, eyes twinkling as he snapped his hips a little harder, snickering when you gasped in response.
Tom caught you in another kiss, resting his weight on his forearm that was positioned next to your head. You arched your back up into him, urging him deeper, which he obliged. “Touch yourself,” he said, disconnecting his mouth from yours just long enough to give the command.
You smiled into his lips, rubbing your clit again as his thrusts became sloppier and jerkier. He was holding on until you came again, despite his earlier cockiness. The moment he felt your walls tighten around him, he let go, spilling inside of you with a grunt.
He pulled out, rolling off of you to lay beside you.
Tom was still catching his breath, and you watched his chest heave for a few moments. “Hey, you okay?” He asked. “Everything alright?”
You smiled, nodding and reaching over to kiss him again. “I'm good, yeah. You?”
“Perfect, actually.” Tom smiled back at you. He found himself lost in the moment, lost in your eyes, lost in the connection you two had just had, and it was too much for him. Quickly, he sat up, ready to change the subject. “You need to clean up?”
You furrowed your brow at the sudden shift in his demeanor, but going along with it nonetheless. Despite him just having been inside you, you didn't feel like it was your place to mention the change. “Yeah. Can I?” You asked, gesturing vaguely toward the bathroom.
“Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Towels are above the sink.”
You flung your legs over the side of the bed and stood, heading toward the bathroom. “I’ll just clean off real quick, then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“No, no, no. I mean, you can stay the night. If you’d like, that is. I could call you a car, though, if I’ve made some awful faux pas and you don’t want to look at me for another–”
“Tom.” He focused on you again after his brief spiral. “I would like to stay.”
He grinned. “Great, that's great.”
“Just let me–” You waved your hands around your lower body, “–clean all this up.”
“Yeah, of course, sure. I’ll be here.” He added the last part in a quasi-sing-song voice.
At the sound of the shower turning on, Tom rose to locate his clothes and try to clean up. He pulled his boxers back on, taking his dress shirt, pants, & jacket to be thrown into the hamper. They really should be dry-cleaned, he considered, but found that he couldn’t be bothered. As for your clothes, he wasn’t sure what exactly to do with them, so he laid your dress across a chair in the bedroom and left your bra and underwear on the floor. He was still considering whether he should pick them up or not when you came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your torso.
Once you had dressed in your undergarments again and Tom had given you an undershirt to sleep in, you started to wonder what all this meant. If it had just been a hookup, why were you staying the night? You had thought you’d feel dirty and disgusted with yourself, spending the night in someone else’s bed with someone else’s husband, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what that said about you, what it meant that you were perfectly comfortable talking into the night with Tom, both laughing and sharing stories long after you had agreed to turn the lights off and get some sleep. That almost made it worse, you thought, that it wasn’t just sex. That made it dangerous.
After you had drifted off, Tom spent a few minutes watching you sleep. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear, watching the worries of the day wash off your face while you slept. He knew it was wrong to be more comfortable in this bed with you than he was with his own wife. But that was something to deal with (or repress) in the morning. Here, now, with you wrapped in his and Shiv’s bedsheets, your form against his chest rising and falling with his breaths, he could pretend it was meant to be like this.
@swiftcession @greenwrldsz @zirrocom @lukas-matsson @ledtassoo @bluecruz97 @rita-lean @grainyimag3
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Viv, you had months to announce that the show was being delayed, but instead of being upfront about it, you just decided to put all your focus on Helluva Boss and ignore Hazbin entirely.
If she couldn’t say anything because of NDA’s, then she should have said so, but Viv doesn’t know how to act like a professional.
Does it suck that stuff gets delayed? Yeah, but that’s the nature of the business.
Seriously, the fact that it took her this long to announce that the show is being delayed is truly frustrating.
Because she rarely acknowledges Hazbin’s existence these days, not to mention the fact all the promotional material we’ve gotten for this series up until this point has been so abysmal, that I’m honestly shocked A24 didn’t hire someone else to do all the promotional work for the series.
And again, I know I keep bringing up the Lackadaisy donation drama, but any good will Viv had with the general public was completely destroyed when that happened.
Before the Lackadaisy drama, you wouldn’t see that many people dunking on Viv’s shows, but after that whole mess happened, you started to see more people making fun of Viv’s shows on Twitter.
At this point in time, I would be legit shocked if Hazbin Hotel makes it past two or three seasons.
I truly feel sorry for all the Hazbin fans who have spent the last four years waiting for more official Hazbin related media.
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I Never Wanted To Leave
Relationship(s): August Walker & Stella Walker, Liam Walker & Stella Walker, Abeline Walker & August Walker & Bonham Walker & Stella Walker, Abeline Walker/Bonham Walker, Bret/Liam Walker, Cordell Walker/Emily Walker
Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Major Character Death, Orphans, Legal Drama, Family Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Ghosts, Ghost Cordell, Ghost Emily, Anger, Grief/Mourning, Major Life Events, Angst
Summary: What if Cordell never came back from his undercover mission? How would the family handle it? How would Stella and August cope?
And how would the resident ghosts try to fix it?
Written for @febuwhump prompt 24: "I'm doing this because I care about you"
A/N: A quick note before we get into it: I've changed up some details about how things progressed while Cordell was gone. I wanted to lean into how temporary everything was supposed to be while Cordell was gone, so Liam and Bret still have a place to live in New York and Stella and August were still living in their main house in the suburbs and hadn't changed schools yet.
Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134
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Ever since Cordell took on the Rodeo Kings job, Liam was afraid he’d get a call like this. He prayed to God that it would never happen, but there was always a risk.
He just wished he knew how to tell the family. Especially the kids. After losing Emily, they didn’t deserve to lose their father too.
But that didn’t change the fact that Cordell had gotten caught up in the crossfire during the final arrest of the Rodeo Kings. That didn’t change the fact that Cordell tried to warn him that it would be bloody and get the arrests made sooner. That didn’t change the fact that he died before he made it to the hospital.
With a heavy heart, Liam quietly opened the door to the ranch house and prayed they wouldn’t have to lose anything else anytime soon.
The whole family was waiting in the living room. He’d hoped that the kids would’ve gone to bed by now, but he supposed their worry about their father kept them up. He couldn’t blame them. He just wished he had better news.
“Liam, is everything okay?” his mother asked, eyes filled with more worry than the kids’ combined.
Liam sighed. “We- We made the arrests. The Rodeo Kings are going away for a long time.”
“So the job’s over? Dad’s coming home?” The excitement and hope in August’s eyes put a pit in Liam’s stomach.
“Uh, well…. Your dad, he-” There was no easy way to say it. There never could be. There was no way to sugarcoat the fact that they lost both of their parents in the span of a year. “There was a lot of gunfire during the arrest and…. He got caught in it. He flatlined on the way to the hospital. They did their best but…. Cordell’s gone. I’m- I’m sorry.”
It felt like all at once, the air was sucked out of the room. No one spoke. No one moved. Liam couldn’t hear anything except his heart beating.
After a few long moments that felt like hours, Stella got up without a word and stormed off to her bedroom. August was hot on her tail.
Honestly, the torrent of tears Liam had been expecting probably would’ve been easier to manage.
“Liam…” Abby put a hand on his arm. “I… Your brother…. What happened, did he seem…. Okay? Before the arrest, I mean. I know- I know you talked to him….”
He sighed. “He wanted to come home.” He warned me he might not if I didn’t make the arrest sooner. “I’m sorry, Mama.”
She nodded slowly and pat his arm. “Why don’t you go on to bed? We’ll talk in the morning.”
“Mama-”
“Go to bed, son,” Bonham said gruffly. “There’s a lot to do in the morning.”
He knew better than to argue with that tone. “Yes, sir.”
—------
Mom was gone. Dad was gone. They were orphans in the space of one year.
August’s suit didn’t really fit him for Dad’s funeral (somehow he was still growing) but he didn’t want to bring it up. There was already so much going on with planning the funeral and finding a time to look at the will and all those talks no one thought he heard about child custody.
It was just a few hours. An uncomfortable suit was manageable for that long.
At the very least, it was manageable in comparison to Stella’s attitude.
“I can’t believe they’re actually making us go to the will reading,” she grumbled as they left the cemetery. “I feel like we’re about to be auctioned off or something.”
“I’m sorry, is today not shitty enough for you?” he snapped. “Do you have to keep making it worse by being annoying?”
“At least I’m showing an emotion! You don’t even-”
“Are you two ready to go?”
Uncle Liam’s statement shut them both up, August turning away from Stella fully. “Yeah, let’s get out of here,” he muttered, following Liam to his car.
August didn’t pay much attention to what was in the will. Most of it was expected; the house and the money was going to them but being held by Uncle Liam until they were old enough to take it. They were also beneficiaries of the life insurance. There were a few sentimental items that went to certain people. The only thing he was nervous about was who would get custody. He wasn’t sure if that would even be in the will; it’s not like any of them expected Mom to die like that. What if they ended up in foster care and got separated? What if they got handed to Liam had had to move to New York? August didn’t think he could stomach losing his home on top of everything else.
Fortunately, Mom and Dad had thought ahead. Gramps and Mawline got custody of them. They wouldn’t get to stay at home but the ranch wouldn’t be too bad. It was practically a second home anyway.
Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. That was what he tried to tell himself as he started a list of what to pack to take to their new home. At least they still had a home. At least they still had some family.
August could work with that. Everything was gonna be fine.
—---------------
Settling in at the ranch went smoothly. At least, August thought it did.
Their grandparents had set up rooms for them, boxing up a lot of Dad and Liam’s old things for storage to make room for the grandkids. Mawline even offered to repaint the rooms if they wanted- “Within reason; no neon colors.”
By the time he finished unpacking, he could almost convince himself he was right at home. He offered to help Stella get through her room of boxes but she wouldn’t let him. “I have a particular way of doing things. I’ll figure it out.”
It stung that she was still shutting him out, but at least she was less prickly than before. Maybe the ranch was doing her some good.
Honestly, he liked living there. There weren’t any nosy neighbors buzzing around and he could feed snacks to the horses whenever he wanted, despite Gramps’ griping that he was spoiling them. And since they’d taken time off school to settle in, he had all the time in the world to mess with Mom’s camera.
It was nice.
He should’ve known it wouldn’t last forever.
“When are we going back to school?” Stella asked over dinner one night. It was an innocent enough question. He’d been thinking to ask too.
“Soon. Why? You in a rush to get back?” Mawline asked.
“Just curious. My friends are wondering and I’ve probably missed some tests.”
Mawline glanced at Gramps before responding. “Well, we were thinking sometime next month. There’s still some things we have to do while we get you set up at Sacred Heart.”
“Sacred Heart?” August asked. “We don’t go there….”
“I know, honey, but your grandfather and I thought it would be a good idea. It’s a good school, smaller than what you’re used to, but we know the people there and we think you’ll fit right in.”
Stella pushed the vegetables around her plate. “And you just…decided to send us there without talking to us first.”
“We know things have been a little hectic for you both-”
“And making us change schools without notice is supposed to make things less hectic?” Stella snapped, standing up abruptly.
Gramps glared at her. “Young lady-”
“I’m not hungry anymore; August can have my desert.” She stormed off to her room without another word; August flinched when she slammed the door.
After a very quiet and awkward dinner, he tentatively knocked on his sister’s door. “It’s just me,” he said.
Stella opened the door and let him in. She was barely unpacked still, despite being on the ranch for almost a month. Her clothes and bedsheets were put away but all the books and knick knacks she had remained in boxes. “How was dessert?” she asked, ignoring the elephant in the room. “I saw Mawline making pie earlier.”
“It was good. She made cherry pie; your favorite.” August chewed on his bottom lip. “Why are you fighting with them?”
“I’m not fighting with them; just voicing my opinion.”
“It sounds a lot like fighting.” It felt that way too; especially with him stuck in the middle of it.
She rolled her eyes. “Why does it matter if I fight them? They won’t listen to what I say anyway.”
“That’s not-”
“It is true and you know it!” Stella crossed her arms. “If they gave half a damn what we wanted, they wouldn’t make us switch schools or live on this stupid ranch!”
“They just want what’s best for us, Stel. And maybe we should just count our blessings that we have them at all. I mean, it could be worse; we could have to move to New York with Uncle Liam without-”
She snorted. “Honestly? I’d prefer that. At least Uncle Liam listens to us.”
His heart dropped. “You don’t mean that.”
“Don’t tell me what I mean,” she snapped. “Are we done here? Or did you have more to lecture me about?”
“Sorry,” he muttered. “Goodnight.”
He padded down the hall to his room and curled up on his bed with his back to the door. Tears crept up on him and he let them fall. August just didn’t understand her. After everything they lost, he just wanted to hold tight to what they still had. Why did Stella seem determined to push everyone away?
At some point, he fell asleep to dreams of a better tomorrow.
—---------
“So the lease on our apartment in New York is up for renewal,” Bret said over dinner. “I know the place we’re at is nice but I was thinking we could get something closer to your work. I found a nice place…. Are you listening?”
Liam stabbed his chicken a little too hard. “Yeah, I’m listening. What did you find?”
Bret huffed and put his fork down. “Something’s been bugging you since you came in. What’s going on?”
Liam sighed and put down his fork as well; he wasn’t that hungry. “Stella called me earlier today. She…. She asked if she could come with us to New York.”
“Like as a vacation or….?”
“She wants me to take legal guardianship of her if necessary.”
“Ah. And what did you tell her?”
“That I would think about it.”
Bret hummed. “Is that a way of letting her down gently or are you actually thinking about it?”
“Of course I’m actually thinking about it.” He just wasn’t sure what to do about it. He wanted to do the right thing for Stella and he could tell she was struggling to adjust. Maybe a move to New York would be a good thing, or maybe such a big shift would just make things worse. Not to mention the effect it would have on his and Bret’s lives. They’d have to get a bigger apartment, somewhere close to a school so that she could get there and back by herself if needed. This was all assuming he could even get his parents to agree to it, which they probably wouldn’t. “I’m just not sure my parents would go for it.”
“I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one,” Bret said. “I think we both know you’d probably have to take this to court if we decide to take her in.”
Liam was afraid of that. “Do you think I should?”
Bret shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, she wants to go, sure, but I’m not sure if it’s the right move for her. I mean, moving halfway across the country, away from her family, right in the middle of junior year….. Just seems like the kind of thing that could cause trouble.”
“But maybe it’s what she needs,” Liam argued. “I mean, staying here on the ranch, constantly surrounded by reminders of what she’s lost doesn’t sound like the best idea either.”
Bret sighed. “I understand you’re worried about her mental state, but she is grieving right now. And she’ll still be grieving if we take her to New York. Changing her physical state won’t necessarily fix her mental one.”
“So you think I shouldn’t take her?”
“I think if you really think this is a good idea, you’ll need to base it on more than what Stella wants. You’ll need to prove to your parents- and possibly a judge- that making this move is really in her best interest. And we’ll probably have to have an apartment ready for her to move into and find a good school to enroll her in….”
Liam nodded, a plan formulating in his mind. He wasn’t going to give Stella an answer yet; he needed to do research.
But he wanted to do something right for her. After everything, his niece needed someone in her corner.
—-------------
By the time he had the nerve to bring it up to his parents, Liam was pretty much convinced that taking Stella to New York was actually a good idea.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Liam sighed. He knew they wouldn’t agree. But what they thought wasn’t important; Stella’s wellbeing was. “I haven’t decided anything yet, but I think this could be good for her. She’s clearly not happy here and I can take care of her just fine in New York. There’s plenty of good schools there and-”
“Plenty of good schools here too,” Bonham muttered. “We’ve got them enrolled in Sacred Heart; it’s a fine institute. And it doesn’t involve shuttling her halfway across the country.”
“I understand your concerns, I do. But Stella isn’t happy here. She asked me about coming to New York because she doesn’t want to stay here, surrounded by what she’s lost. I can’t blame her for that.”
“We don’t either,” his mother said. “But we have to think about her future too. Stella has lost a lot, but not everything. She still has us, her brother, her friends. Taking her to New York would take her away from all that. She’d have to start completely over at a new school, in a new state, with a new climate…. I don’t see how any of that is going to help her grieving process. What she needs is stability; that’s going to help her more in the end than a completely new environment.”
“All the stability in the world won’t do her any good if she doesn’t feel like she’s being supported,” Liam argued. “What she really needs is to feel heard. Understood. I’m trying to do that for her.”
“You can listen to her without taking her to New York,” Bonham countered.
“But-”
“Liam.” Abby sighed. “We understand that you want to help. We do. But Cordell and Emily named us as their legal guardians. We’re the ones who have the right to decide what’s best for both of them.”
Liam nodded. “Yes. But Stella’s also old enough to make choices like that for herself. If she doesn’t want to stay with you, she doesn’t have to.” He hadn’t meant for it to come out like a threat. Not really. But…. It did.
Bonham glared at him. “I guess we’ll have to let the judge have the final say on that.”
“I guess we will.”
—---------
“I think Uncle Liam is gonna take me to New York,” Stella said. “I hope he does. I hate living here.” She spun in August’s desk chair and he tried to pretend his history reading was more interesting than her. “I told him you might want to come-”
“Don’t speak for me,” he said sharply.
She raised a brow at him. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Just thought you might wanna stick together since it’s just the two of us now.”
August put his book down. “Why do you want to leave so badly?” he just couldn’t understand. This was their home. They had Gramps and Mawline and the ranch. Couldn’t that be enough?
Stella scoffed. “Why do you want to stay? I- We’ve lost everything here.”
“Not everything…. We still have-”
“What? What do we have? We have a bunch of people who don’t listen to us and some hand-me-down rooms. Mom is gone. Dad is gone. And-”
“And whose fault is that?!” August finally snapped.
Stella balked. “What?”
“That stupid ‘car accident’ was your idea! You pushed Dad to go on that stupid undercover mission! And now he’s gone.”
She stared him down, fists balled in her lap. “I don’t remember you correcting the record when he decided to leave us,” she hissed.
“Don’t push this on me,” he snarled. “That was your idea. You should’ve known better. You should’ve owned up and stopped him. This is all on you.”
Stella flinched and August couldn’t bring himself to care how much he hurt her.
“Maybe I should leave then. I wouldn’t want to ruin your life any more than I already have.” With that, she got up and left his room, slamming the door behind her.
August dropped onto his bed, head in his hands, and willed himself not to cry.
—-----------------
Liam took a deep breath before knocking on August’s door. He’d already decided on taking Stella to New York with him, no matter what his parents or Bret thought. He’d hoped August would come too, but Stella had suddenly done a 180 on that idea and he needed to figure out why. He knew things were rough for both of them right now; losing their parents, moving homes, changing schools all of a sudden.
But whether or not moving them to New York was a better idea, he knew it would be better for both of them if they went together. Whatever had happened between them, Liam needed to get it sorted out before the move.
“Hey, buddy. Can we talk?” Liam said, slowly opening the door.
August glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. “Sure. What’s up?” he said, turning in his chair.
Liam smiled. “I just wanted to talk to you about something. Did Stella talk to you about coming to New York with me?”
His nephew’s face dropped for a moment before settling on “nonchalant”. “Yeah, she brought it up. Why?”
“I was just wondering what you thought about it. I know things have been rough for both of you here lately. It might be nice for you to get away….”
August shrugged. “Maybe. But I like being here. It’s home.”
Liam expected something like that. “I’m sure you do. But your sister seems set on leaving and I think it’d be better if you two stayed together-”
“Then she can stay here,” August said sharply. Then, he deflated, looking at the ground. “Why are you taking her away?”
Liam sighed. “It’s not- Look, your sister just wants a fresh start and I can’t blame her for that. I’m doing this because I care about her. And you. Both of you. Which is why I think maybe you should-”
“What if I don’t want to leave?”
Liam swallowed. “I think you should think about it. But if staying is what you want, that’s okay too.” At least Abby and Bonham would agree with that. “Just- Think about it, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever.” August turned away
—----------
Stella was going to New York. August didn’t like it. Bret was unsure about it. Bonham and Abby didn’t care for it one bit but the judge had said Stella was old enough to choose her legal guardian and she’d chosen Liam. If Liam was questioning his decision, he didn’t show it as he helped Stella load the last of her bags into the trunk of his car. “We’ll be back for the holidays,” he promised his parents before they left.
August didn’t see them off, despite Abby’s attempt to convince him he would regret doing so.
With barely a few words of goodby, the Walker family was fractured in a way that left them wondering if they could ever recover.
In the background, on a plane no one else could see, Emily and Cordell Walker watched in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, Em. I- I was supposed to look after them and- I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t mean to leave them like this,” Emily said gently. “And it’s not like either of us saw…this coming.”
“I know.” Watching their kids be separated was awful. It was never supposed to happen like this.
Cordell looked over at his wife and saw a look on her face that he knew all too well. It was the face she made when she decided on a theme for the nursery, when she kindly informed her parents that she wasn’t taking payment for the wedding if it came with strings, when she argued with a teacher over an unfair grade. It was a look that said she’d set her mind on something and nothing would change it.
“We have to fix this, Cordi,” she said firmly. “We have to get them back together; it’s for their own good?”
He loved Emily, in life and in death. But sometimes she was a little too ambitious. “Do you really think we can? In case you forgot, we’re dead!”
“I didn’t forget that!” she snapped. “But we can’t just do nothing. There’s gotta be a way to get them back together….”
Cordell sighed. “I…. Maybe we can try? I know I can sorta affect things on their end. Maybe we can…send messages? Or something like that.”
Emily nodded. “Alright, perfect. We should split up since they both need our help. I’ll take care of August, you follow Stella.”
Before Cordell could agree or disagree, Emily was gone, presumably to August’s room. He sighed and “got in” the backseat of Liam’s car next to Stella.
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Every time I look back at Star Vs. The Forces of Evil I just get so depressed because it was a show I actually loved only for it all to go to shit in the very end and that’s kinda all people will remember it as when time moves on. It was such a banger show in the beginning, with likable characters, good animation, and interesting villains and obstacles ect, season 1 and 2 was where the show peaked, season 3 was very flawed and wonky but it still kept me at the edge of my seat, and then season 4 was just a fucking disaster, with things that were drawn out, lore stuff that was never explained, zero buildup over most of the events going on, and of course the infamous shipping drama. It really felt like the writers dropped EVERYONE and everything all to make Starco happen, like it didn’t care if it would fuck up the world or characters around them, so long as the ship becomes canon everything is okay…..and like…no. As a past starco shipper myself, the way they executed it was just…..beyond bad, and this is the only SURFACE of issues the show had, like things ACTUALLY being built up but the climax being underwhelming, VERY important lore points that legit SHOULD have been in the show but instead got stuffed in a Disney book, Star as a main character just fucking downgrading and turning into a shallow teenage brat as the show progressed, there was honestly a LOT of issues I had with the show, even if I was young and naive when watching it. I still think in general the show is good, or WAS good at least. It was a huge part of my childhood and had the show gotten another season or two, and Daron wasn’t writing the damn script as the show progressed, it would have been better. There’s like…..a LOT of video essays on Star so like…I wouldn’t be able to go into detail in one post.
It’s honestly just sad that certain shows I grew up with that I loved the hell out of eventually just got either bad or underwhelming, like…Gravity Falls is STILL the only show from that cartoon era that managed to have an actually satisfying ending, and ended at the perfect moment. Shows like Regular Show and Adventure time were also shows I loved in the beginning, but Adventure time just dragged for WAAAY too long and started turning ridiculous in my opinion so I stopped watching, and Regular show I just grew out of. I remember coming back for both finales to pay respect to the shows even if I wasn’t caught up with either of them, and while I can say Regular Show’s finale was decent, I didn’t like Adventure Time’s. Then there’s Steven Universe, and we all know how THAT went. Why did these four shows that were famous for being actually good had to turn bleak for me? In my opinion, one of the main reasons is that when you’re making a show similar to the whole “This is a story driven show that has some filler but at the same time follows a story leading to something big” (Amphibia and The Owl House are also examples of these) the main important thing you have to make sure you’re able to do is perfectly balance filler episodes AND story driven episodes, (something that Steven Universe and Star Vs. The forces of evil SUCKED at I’m sorry) and you have to make sure the show doesn’t drag on for too long, which is what happened with Adventure Time, Regular Show, and even SU. Of course you also need to be a good writer and storyteller, but that’s a requirement lol. Keep in mind these are just my personal opinions, but I’m certainly going to miss the shows, mainly Star. Even if I haven’t seen The Owl House and Amphibia, I’m glad they’re both new shows of this era that have entertained others and seem to be VERY good. Oh…and there’s Infinity Train and Over the Garden Wall. Those were REALLY good.
#rant#star vs. the forces of evil#regular show#gravity falls#cartoon network shows#Disney shows#world building#criticisms#writing#steven universe#unrelated
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Volume 9 Thoughts
Okay, how is Joyo so cute?! I just love him so much
Ohhh, new swimsuits. I love the dark red one (even if it's a cross between Geri and Uma's suits)
Bonnie and Bryson are the most confusing thing ever. Are they a friendship couple? Cause they act like kids who think they know what dating is but have no clue.
And I'm sorry FB, me and Joyo not being on the same page when we never even talked about it is not drama. And it's sure as hell not gonna make me doubt out connection, I don't need to be able to read his mind in order to be a good couple.
Kissing challenge so late feels weird, but okay. I actually don't mind the awkward kiss (although the reasoning was a little iffy imo), not every kiss is going to be amazing every time
I really need Geri to get a grip though, homegirl Joyo doesn't want you. And he's too nice to tell you your kiss was average at best.
Winning the challenge after doing mostly cheek kisses, ah, a FB classic
That Bryson/Bonnie announcement was... a little cringy
The pool game is fun though. I really love the fluffy, goofy moments
I love that the little things have carried through. I said I used to do roller derby back in casa and it comes up again when I'm battling Geri for the ball
I so need FB to stop using the word 'smooch', it has lost all meaning. But at least Joyo having always dreamed about an underwater kiss makes sense for him
Okay, that story about Joyo's dad accidently standing up his mom is adorable (I know it's probably shared dialogue, but it actually made me aw out loud)
Definitely not complaining about Joyo laying everything out for me either
Evan and Travis have gotten zero attention from me, so why are they trying to make a last ditch effort? I am giggling about the fact that everyone knows Bryson likes me though and he still won't tell me.
Being able to kiss Joyo on the cheek in front of Geri and rubbing it in a bit has me happier than I have any right to be
Joyo is secretly such a drama king and I'm kinda here for it
Seriously, are Bonnie and Bryson a real couple or not? I'm so confused by them
WE'RE BACK TOGETHER!!!!!
A part of me really wanted Geri to pick Alex just for the drama, but her and Travis are already a bizarre couple
Hideaway next week! Suck it Geri
Say what you want about this season, but the MC can be an absolute bitch and I love that for her. Honestly this week felt like a lot of filler, but it was still cute, goofy fun. Beyond happy to be back with my man and get to sleep in the same bed as him.
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I genuinely liked all the obscure Sonic Facts that Greeny would post about! It sucks, but I found them really interesting!
However, the constant Ian Flynn bashing was really annoying. I understand not liking his writing style, it’s not perfect and can be criticized. But I swear to fuck, he would complain about the tiniest things!
Then he would talk about Flynn stans and how they sucked his dick constantly. I’m sorry to say this, but Greeny was hate-sucking Ian’s dick constantly!!!!
I don’t usually follow drama in the Sonic Fandom, since I’m too old to be getting angry over stupid things. I just stay in my lane, occasionally read fanfics for my ships, reblog theorizing/positive posts and cute fanart. Like, I think fandoms should be fun, so I try to have fun.
I followed Greeny since, as I said, I like the trivia they posted about and wanted to learn more.
At some point though, I think I became embarrassed to like IDW Sonic because of how much Greeny and their group would criticize Flynn and Evan. I took a break from the comics because the zombot arc had exhausted me, but I think reading the constant criticism made me not want to pick it back up. I still haven’t picked IDW Sonic back up.
I also feel like it’s gotten worse over the years. Like, I don’t remember seeing this type of stuff, or at least not as much complaining, back when I first started following Greeny.
Eventually, I stopped having fun and enjoy my time with Greeny’s posts. I felt like it made me more ashamed of what I enjoyed, and that’s not how I want to spend my time. It wasn’t even thoughtfully negative, it was just mean-spirited.
I recently stopped following Greeny, I think before Frontiers came out. He had made a post bashing the Flynn’s dialogue in one of the leaked cutscenes at the time (when Sonic first encounters the voice). Then he made another post translating the Japanese of that scene… and it was literally the exact same fucking sentence!!!!
I realized then that I was done with Greeny, that he was going to criticize the English dialogue for the entire fucking game. And I didn’t want to deal with it.
I wanted to try and enjoy Sonic Frontiers with being ashamed!
Sorry for the super long rant. Didn’t expect this ask to be a novel. I know you weren’t really talking about Greeny, but I’ve been holding this in and I just needed to air out my grievances.
You don’t have to answer or even post this ask, I just needed to get this off my chest. Again, sorry.
Honestly anon, I'm glad you posted this because my experience was very similar. For a long time I followed Greeny because they had good insights and made good posts, and even thought they acted cunty sometimes and had opinions that I thought were outright ignorant, I generally let it slide because things were relatively civil
But then yeah, the Zombot Arc brought out the worst in her and a lot of people, including me. God going back to my posts from that time is exhausting because I was furiously debating every one of these people and we were all being brick walls about it, and I could feel the discourse get naster and nastier.
It was around that time I remember her and the other people in her group just getting meaner in general and becoming very hateful towards Ian specifiaclly. Like they didn't like him a ton before but it became downright vitriolic and it felt like even discussing the guy in anything other than a negative light was a reason for them to jump down your throat
Even after the Zombot arc ended, shit remained so toxic that it was one of the reasons (well that and just my focus shifting from Tumblr in general) I just kinda left this site and didn't really look back, because it was getting to the point where I was dreading every issue coming out for the inevitable fucking discourse.
From the looks of it, it seemed like it only got worse with time, especially with the release of Frontiers.
Here's my ultimate fucking take. Greeny is entitled to her opinions, however crudely worded or wrong or bad faith they may be. But people are also entitled to call her out on her opinions and attitudes or just flat out ignore them, much as they are with anyone else's opinions, including mine.
The only reason I got involved in all of this shit was because I vented an opinion on Twitter and it got out of hand. Most of the time, I'm like you and just content to vibe in the fandom and talk about whatever, and I'd like to go back to that. I'd much rather be talking about my fucking OCs and my verse than dumb fandom drama bullshit
But like I said, I'm glad you sent this both to get it off your chest and to give me the chance to do the same. At this point I've just had so many bad experiences in this fandom (some of them of my own doing I will freely admit) that it's hard to care anymore. But I don't think anyone should be afriad to speak up about anyone in this fandom, even someone like Greeny or Crusher or a popular artist or whomstever the fuck
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Shadow and Bone 2x02 Review
Episode 2, done. Again there will be spoilers in this review so beware, book spoilers with be marked with * before and after so that you can skip over that bit, if you don’t want to see book spoilers don’t read anything between those two * and I suspect I am going to get very bored saying this line by the time I’ve gotten through all 8 episode reviews. But anyway this was another good episode and things are moving along at a good pace so far. A large part of this episode was taken up by the search for the sea whip. We also had a lot of drama going on with the crows, so lets dive in.
Sturmhond’s Crew and The Sea Whip
Ok I love Sturmhond and his crew they are just so entertaining to watch and you can see that they’ve all got a really strong bond. But I also really like the dynamic between Alina and Sturmhond. I like that she matched his energy and didn’t just bow down to him or let herself be intimidated by him and that lead to some really great scenes between them.
One really great scene is when Alina comes to Sturmhond to confront him about changing cause and he picks up that she doesn’t trust him, I do feel like trust was a recurring theme in this episode. Trusting other people but also trusting yourself. As Sturmhond points out Alina, I think largely because of the betrayal she feels over Aleks, is already acting like she has been betrayed, this is likely a defence mechanism on her part and honestly can’t blame her. * Also as much as I appreciate the sentiment about trusting he doesn’t have ulterior motives, us book readers know that he isn’t really being truthful about who he really is and that’s going to suck for Alina later in the season, it certainly isn’t going to help with her trust issues either.* Similar to the scene with Aleks in ep 1 this question of whether Alina truly knows herself comes up. It seems like many characters are going to be questioning her over this, he points out that she doesn’t really understand why she is so valuable to so many people, that its not just about tearing down the fold or because she can summon light its because of that hope she represents, something that she has yet to believe herself.
Ok I am about to be petty again so malina shippers look away, but I just have to say it Alina and Sturmhond have more chemistry than malina do. I’m sorry its the truth. I mean it still doesn’t match the same level that is darklina but its heaps better than malina. I just think at this point it is kind of embarrassing that the main couple you are supposed to root for is the one with the least amount of chemistry and appeal and that’s out of all of the ships on the show.
But speaking of Mal I did think his interactions with Sturmhond were really funny, like poor mal felt so put out that Sturmhond wouldn’t even try to remember his name, I mean this is the sun summoner and sun summoner’s guest was kind of funny but I also thought Mal was really funny when he said it wasn’t even a long name to remember. But I also like that towards the end of the episode when he chooses a weapon that Sturmhond approves of that mal earns a bit of his respect and vice versa, they’ve still got a long way to go before they are buddy buddy but I still enjoyed the dynamic they had.
I don’t know if I would call this a complaint but there was one line in this that made me wary, shall we say, and that is when Alina remarks on how Sturmhond’s crew is made up of both otkazat'sya and grisha and talks about how hey imagine if you combined first and second army. I saw this one coming a mile off, the whole lets unite the two armies rhetoric. Look I am usually all for unity and all that but the problem I have with it here is that thus far the only main first army character we have seen so far is mal. The rest of the time the first army are shown as antagonists to the grisha, they are the ones hunting Aleks and the grisha in the flashback of 1x07 and they are the ones locking grisha in cages currently. So we keep seeing the first army do horrible things to the grisha and then you’ve got alina going hey lets get the grisha to make friends with the first army. I get the sentiment behind it I really do but I also feel like the first army are going to have to put in a lot of work too. I also just know that they are going to use this as a way of showing that Aleks is bad because he didn’t unite the two armies, whilst also completely ignoring the fact that the King also wasn’t rushing to unite the two armies either and that of course Aleks isn’t going to trust the first army considering his past with them.
But moving on lets talk about the sea whip. It looked as gorgeous as I thought it was going to from the trailers. But it was also alot more vicious than I expected it to be, though thinking about it more I don’t know why, maybe it was because of how calm and peaceful the stag seemed to be. But the Sea Whip was definitely playing with them and it did kill at least two people. Eventually it attacking mal does lead to Alina killing it and it is kind of ironic that Alina has this whole, we don’t need to kill the amplifiers to get there power thing going on and yet she has caused the death of two amplifiers now because she was protecting mal. *But I do suspect that they might be doing the whole you don’t have to kill an amplifier to get its power because of that plot twist with the third amplifier.*
The scene when Alina takes the amplifier was stunning and loved how her powers looked and how you kind of hand that steady glow that was similar to the Stag but then there were these wisps of golden light that were slithering like the Sea Serpent. It just looked visually spectacular. I also loved how joyous Alina looked, she looked almost drunk on the power. I also thought it was interesting how the scene where the amplifier is being put on her was intercut with scenes of the darkling and that hot poker trying to heal the wound on his hand from the stag and then mal through the eyes of the sea whip. I definitely think this is foreshadowing, book readers will know.
The Crows
So much was going on with the crows this episode. We got more flashbacks of Kaz’s backstory and it turns out I was right in my previous review the older boy in the flashbacks is Kaz’s older brother. It looks like the connection to Rollins is that he offered them some kind of job which I am going to assume was actually a scam of some kind. I also do wonder if it is linked to the plague cemetery that the crows use as a meeting point as in ep 1 we did see what look like some kind of disease and now I am even more worried about Kaz’s brother. I am wondering if the job Rollins offers them somehow gets them exposed to the plague and his brother dies and that’s why Kaz wants to get revenge on Rollins so badly.
As I mentioned before, trust is a theme that comes up a few times in this episode and this can be seen within the crows too. The crows seem to be struggling to trust Kaz because of how secretive he is being. It also seems like Kaz is struggling to completely open and trust the other crows. I really loved the scene on the rooftop between Kaz and Inej when she pushes to tell her his story with Rollins. It was interesting when he talked about secrecy being about survival and I do think on some level this is relatable. I mean I guess that is why people keep secrets, to protect themselves or others they love. But I also like what Inej said about trust being the opposite of secrecy, it was basically her saying he could trust her and she’d be there when he was ready to open up, at least that’s how I read it.
I love Wylan, just wanted to point that out. I also really want to know the story of his connection with Jesper because they clearly have met before. Also maybe its my dirty mind get in the way here, but the fact that Jesper suddenly recalled that he had met Wylan before whilst lying on top of him, I mean, did these guys like sleep together at some point in the past? Or am I just reading too much into that. But it would explain why Wylan seemed kind of infatuated with Jesper in ep 1. Either way they do have some really good chemistry and I really so think these guys may have a romantic plot line this season.
Speaking of couples I have to talk about Nina and Matthias because they are breaking my heart right now. I mean poor Matthias is locked up in hellgate. But there was that, well I don’t know what it was but it seemed like a flashback and it was a really steamy moment between him and Nina. Honestly my immediate reaction was hey up when did this happen? Which made me wonder if it was just him fantasising about Nina in that moment. But what makes me doubt it was just a fantasy is that right before the steamy scene Matthias’ cellmate says that their god will forgive his sins, then it shows the possible flashback, and then Matthias says the god could never forgive his sins. We also know from season 1 that Fjerdans have very different views on intimacy between a man and a woman and how its reserved for marriage so if he really did sleep with Nina offscreen in season 1 then his culture and upbringing could be resulting in him feeling some guilt about his relationship with Nina, especially as at the moment he believes she tricked and betrayed him.
As for Nina she too is struggling with feelings of guilt and she is also thinking about Matthias but her guilt is wrapped up in the part she played in getting him sent to Hellgate and its clear that she is desperate to get him back and that really does tug at my heartstrings.
The crows do get hit with some blows this episode and it is another one of those situations where their plan just does not go according to plan and yet somehow they still work their way out of it. The guy that Rollins sent after Inej, the Taxidermic, was really creepy, somehow I think we might end up seeing him again. I loved the scene where Jesper had a shoot out with Rollins guys, those gun tricks just look so cool. But once again I am very curious to see what their next steps are going to be but also what Rollins is going to do next.
Aleksander and Darklina.
So we got another dream, mind scene between darklina this episode and once again it was really great. They just have so much tension and angst in their scenes together and even when they are angry with each other they still have chemistry and sexual tension between them.
I’ve said it before but darklina have this dynamic where even when they are arguing they are still communicating and I do think Aleks was spitting out some truths in this scene that Alina didn’t want to hear. He points out that she may think that she has found a family and love with Mal but that it will all fade away because mal will grow old but Alina will only grow more powerful. I do have to keep reminding myself that whilst as the audience we know Aleks’ past Alina does not. So when Aleks talks about knowing how she feels when she’s with Mal, Alina scoffs and I do think this is again a defence mechanism, she doesn’t want to believe that Aleks is capable of love or that he could love her because that would make things too complicated. There was a time when she thought he felt those things for her and she felt them for him, where she thought she might have found that family and future with him, she says it herself in 1x07, ‘we could have had this, all of it.’ But now she feels betrayed and hurt by him so it is easier to imagine that he is someone who is incapable of love. It make sit easy to make him her villain.
I do think that when Aleks begins to describe the loneliness and the weight of their immortality, the ache that comes with it, that it strikes a nerve with Alina because deep down, despite her denying it, she does know exactly what he is talking about. I do think that Aleks feels very frustrated by Alina’s naivety because he has already experienced everything he is warning her about and despite his anger at her I also do think some part of him still cares about her and he can see that her denial will only lead to her getting hurt in the same way he was.
Alina however is vey much in denial and she want’s to make it clear to him that they are not the same, that she doesn’t want to be like him, but at the same time I don’t think she can completely deny the truth, which is that she is more like him than she wants to admit. I said in last ep review that when she came to the mind palace in her blue kefta it might have been an act of defiance on her part to not wear his colours. Well in this one she is wearing the black kefta but she decides to take it off and this moment is really interesting because all though she is making a statement and saying I’m not like you and I won’t wear your colour again, she has to turn her back to him before taking it off, like she can’t look at him as she does it, and Aleks too has to look away and you can see that it is hurtful to him that she is doing this. What also interests me about it is that I’ve talked in the past about this metaphor of shredding their kefta, like Aleks does in 1x04 and how they come to each other without their keftas in their nightclothes and how this symbolises them shedding their armour in a way and how they usually have very open and vulnerable scenes. Well its the same here after she takes off the Kefta Aleks goes on this rant where he’s just letting all his feelings pour out, similar to that war room scene in ep 4, he talks about how he’s had to change his identity over and over and watch loved ones die from sickness, desperation, hate and time itself. This is what makes Aleks such a sympathetic character because of moments like this, you can’t help but feel bad for him, he’s been through so much pain and suffering. Ben also does a phenomenal job in these scenes and is so good at bringing that vulnerable side to the character and that humanity. You can see when he is giving this rant that Alina is feeling complicated feelings, its clear she hates to see his pain, you see her look away, but she also doesn't want to feel sympathy for him or care for him so she pushes it down and hides it behind her anger. What is interesting is next she kind of mocks him a bit, asking if that’s how he justifies his actions, her tone when talking about his loneliness and open wound is very mocking. But despite her mocking she still seems drawn towards him and moves closer. It’s like she is saying one thing but her body is communicating something else entirely.
Aleks doesn’t back down from this kind of challenge Alina is making and instead also moves closer until once again there is zero personal space between these guys. When he calls her ‘my Alina’ this does get a reaction out of her and she has to look away but as is par for the course with darklina she can’t keep her eyes from his for long. Throughout this whole scene I did wonder if Alina had figured out yet that Aleks was still alive but from the way she says ‘you’re already dead’ its made clear that she hasn’t so I’m guessing she thinks she’s just dreaming these conversations between them.
Another subject that comes up in this conversation between them is this idea of the past being an open wound and Alina saying Aleks’ past is the cause of all ruin. In a way she is kind of right but unlike the audience she thinks his past was him deliberately creating the fold whereas we know the wound that won’t close is him and his people being hunted, Luda getting killed and him accidently creating the fold. Its his trauma from the past though that has made him the way he is now and why he is so desperate to safe the grisha at any cost.
This idea of a wound that won’t heal those is carried over into Aleks reality as he literally has wounds that won’t heal. Despite Genya trying the wounds left by the volcra and the stag antler won’t heal completely. It is obvious that he is in alot of pain as well and that the nichevo’ya are having a direct effect on his wellbeing. We see him go to a alchemist grisha looking for a cure for a splitting pain in his head and that alchemist suggests that they only thing that can heal merzost is more merzost. This leads to Aleks going and getting morozova’s journal and it is revealed that he has also hidden his mother in a cave, honestly that scene with baghra was funny the way she tsks him and pretty much tells him he looks like crap, but also what was with that smile Aleks gave after Baghra said he had kept her locked up there for weeks? He looked so damned pleased with himself. I am calling it now though Baghra is so totally stealing that journal and taking it to Alina.
Anyway that’s another review done onto the next episode!
Favourite lines of the episode.
‘The past informs everything, its the wound that will not heal.’
‘Trust is the other side of secrecy.’
‘You’re not just sunshine, sunshine. You’re hope for the future.’
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the lack of outsiders is mostly likely because of everyone bitches that they wanted to see the orginal team. well bitches, i want to tell you something; the show is called YOUNG justice. one of the orginal team mates now has a god damn baby! They are grown ass adults! some of my fave characters, tye, asami, ed, and vilote, only exsits in this world and we barley see them. Oh and then there are thoose fucks that say the show is more about romance than it is about superheroing. the show focous on romance most at it's 1 fucking season! maybe you all were just blind to it because it involed only m/f. One of the couples there not even allowed to show. HOW IS THIS SEASON FOCOUS TOO MUCH ON ROMANCE? Sorry, yjwhat if, I freaked out for a second. But I think you agree with me for the most part.
(Hey anon, so I thought I’d already sent this response out but it apparently got lost amongst my drafts instead - so I apologise for how delayed this is!)
Honestly, while I probably wouldn’t phrase things quite as strongly against the opinions and wants of others, I do agree with a lot of your points Anon… ever since it was announced that there would be more of a focus on the OGs, I was kinda bummed because I had gotten really invested in the outsiders and really wanted to continue with them - but I get that others have that same connection and same wants with the OGs and grandon do like to change things up every season… which is one of the things I find most interesting about this show. Whilst I worried I may not enjoy the season as much without outsiders content - I can genuinely say I have very much enjoyed it - it has been nice seeing the people/heroes the OGs have become, whilst still finding struggles they must work through and though they’ve gotten older they are still growing with each experience they encounter. Of course, while my overall opinion on this season is positive, I will definitely admit the lack of outsiders content has rather sucked and actually felt a little off… though I’m hoping that may be rectified within the upcoming comic storyline - which certainly looks to be more outsiders oriented… but I guess we’ll have to see.
Also, as someone who’s favourite characters is Eduardo, I absolutely feel the pain of having no other place to go to get my (insert lesser seen character here) fix… it tends to be when there’s less canon content - there’s less fandom content - so it gets seriously hard to find any kind of content for those characters unique to the show when they’re not seen… which makes me really sad! I just want all the Eduardo content in my life!! My hope is, with all the OGs being more central in phantoms, the rule of changing things up every season will allow for the S2/3 characters to get their focus next season — it’s only fair… though again, we’ll have to see what happens.
In terms of romance - the show has it, yes - but it definitely doesn’t outfocus the superheroing - even in s1 when there was a bit more focus on it. To me it’s mostly, if not, always there as a means to develop the characters - people can learn and grow a lot through their relationships — as was said by both Conner and M’gann in their wedding vows to each other. If you have that kind of emotional investment in someone, you’re gonna care about what they think about you - enough to open your mind to understanding another’s perspective and evolving to think beyond yourself. The same goes for non-romantic relationship as well - people learn from people - and that’s what I personally take away from how the show uses all of its relationships. Though something I actually like quite a bit about how the show uses its romantic relationships is that they’re not there just to create drama and conflict between the characters. Unless they pertain to the main plot - like supermartian stuff, they kinda tend to just exist and work without much issue. A lot of the time it emphasises that a relationship isn’t a hindrance - that the characters can date each other without falling out every five minutes and can still perform their hero duties without major consequences relating back to the relationship in some way… in so much of the stuff I watch, relationships are ultimately characterised as something that hinders instead of strengthens and I honestly can be arsed with it at this point…
Okay, at this point I am officially rambling and don’t think I’m making actual sense - so I’m calling quits on whatever it is I’m trying to say… basically everything can be solved by giving me more Ed… preferably in an officially unrestricted relationship with Bart!! That’s all I want!!
These of course are just my personal opinions!
LB
#thanks anon!#my response#ask box#personal opinion#this got a bit long#eduardo dorado jr#bart allen#young justice#yj#young justice phantoms
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Thoughts on Summerslam?
Hey lovely anon! Thanks for asking and being interested as always 💜 I appreciate you!
A little warning: this contains a lot more complaining and bitching than my opinion pieces usually do, but I honestly expected more from this PLE and I’m feeling a little meh about it, cause a lot of it didn’t live up to the hype for me personally (if you wanna read mostly positive things start reading from the Gunther vs Drew portion onwards).
As always, these are my personal views, other's might differ from that and that’s completely fine and valid. We all enjoy different things and it’s good that we do. (Disclaimer, cause I don't want any drama in my inbox from anyone reading this.)
I thought the first half of the show pretty much sucked. I wasn’t invested in it at all and had a tough time sitting through all of it.
Match by match under the cut:
Logan vs Ricochet: Anyone who knows me or has been following me for a while knows that I fucking hate LP’s guts. I wish he’d walk out and never come back, cause yes, he’s a fucking terrible human being and a quick google search will tell you all the reasons why. He doesn’t deserve the spotlight he gets, he deserves jail time. I’m glad Ricochet got an opening match at a big PLE though. He’s one of the best in-ring guys of this generation and seeing him perform is always a blessing. I fucking hate that he lost, but we all knew he would, didn’t we? And Samantha having to announce LP as the winner had me 🤢🤢🤢 As for the match: It was okay. Too much posing and showing off for my taste. Classic LP. And don’t get me started on that screwy finish or the commentary about Samantha. (+ As much as I’m happy Ricochet got to be on the card in that manner, I’d rather have seen Becky vs. Trish or a Rhea title defense in that spot.)
Brock vs Cody: Y’all know my stance on Cody. I don’t like him. I don’t care about him. I fucking hate the “finish the story” narrative and how he forcefully inserts himself into shit all the time. He’s not as great or talented or charismatic as he thinks he is and I cringe so hard every time he opens his mouth. I don’t know what other people see in him, but I guess to each their own. I for one wish he’d leave and never come back. But that’s just me. He called himself “the best wrestler in the world” in an interview recently and I’m sorry, you’re not the best wrestler in this company and there’s many more wrestlers from other promotions who are way above you on that list, sir. Plus your acting and selling sucks. Sorry, sorry, this wasn’t supposed to be an anti Cody rant. If you like him, go ahead, but I’m not gonna hide my dislike for the man. Brock is awesome, I’ve always respected him immensely as an athlete. He’s always been very legitimate and very protected and rightfully so. I don’t know when opponents (other than Roman) started getting up and walking off an F5 through the table, but apparently that’s a thing now… The highlight of that match for me was seeing all of Daddy Brock’s good parts lmao 😂
(I’m still bitter about Becky vs Trish not being on the card. They had time for 10 minute video packages between all the matches, but they didn’t have time for this highly anticipated match? If I speak 😶 That feud could have been one for the ages if it had gotten the proper booking it deserved)
Battle Royal: I know they had to do this one for sponsorship reasons (and probably to give LA Knight a win and appease the audience, which don’t get me wrong, I LOVE LA Knight, but what good does that win do him?), but I could’ve done without it. Again on my women’s matches agenda here. With how over he is, the crowd wouldn’t have accepted another winner, so it was predictable. It gave the audience a feel-good moment though, so I’ll take it.
Shayna vs Ronda: I love Shayna ❤️ 100%, no questions asked. As for Ronda… I’m not gonna say much, other than I hope this really was her last match in WWE. I still don’t get why we got an MMA rules fight instead of a proper wrestling match, but then I haven’t been following the build to this very closely. I’m glad Shayna won and I hope she gets to move on to bigger and better things in WWE now that she’s out of Ronda’s shadow. But that’s probably wishful thinking.
Drew vs Gunther: Was exactly what I wanted it to be. Just two big meaty men hitting and chopping away at each other, manhandling and throwing each other around. Beautiful. I knew I was gonna like this and I did. I love seeing both of these men in the ring. Gunther winning was no surprise, but this time I didn’t mind. He deserves breaking that record. He’s been doing incredible incredible work for a long time and he deserves all the good things he gets.
Seth vs Finn: You have no idea how much I love Seth and Finn, no idea 😭 These two (+Sami +Bryan Danielson) to me are the best technical wrestlers of this generation. No matter what, they will always be able to put on a banger wrestling match, so I’m always always always loving it when they get into the ring together. It’s just beautiful to watch them move. Art art art. I love Seth’s mind games, I love the whole arena singing Seth’s song, I love the history between them. I love everything about it. Either of them deserved that win and that title, I’m glad Seth retained though, he deserves a good long title run. (Also can’t wait to see what TJD getting involved in the match will stir up. That ever growing tension between Damien and Finn is delicious to watch 👀)
Asuka vs Bianca vs Charlotte: The build to this match was terrible, not gonna lie. The match delivered though! The crowd didn’t appreciate it enough, which is a big L on their part. These three did amazing! Sure it wasn’t all smooth sailing and some of it was visible (also thanks to some not so great camera angles), but the quality of the match was still awesome!
Cash-In: I’m so so fucking happy for Iyo!!! She deserved this for such a long time and I’m so glad they made the decision to put that title on her (I was fully expecting Bayley to cost her that title, so it was a nice surprise that she didn’t and that she was actually the one taking everyone out, so that the path was clear for Iyo. A beautiful showing of friendship 😭 And I loved seeing Dakota and the sweetness that was these three friends celebrating together ❤️ For me this was the highlight of the night!)
I’m also hoping this will be the final straw in turning Bianca heel. She looked like she reached her breaking point during all this, so I’m carefully optimistic. I’ve been wanting it for a long time and with the Profits now having turned heel the dream of heel!Bianca feels closer than ever 👀 WWE I’m begging you!
Jey vs Roman (aka Jey vs everyone in Tribal Combat): Moment of deep deep appreciation for Jey’s beautiful beautiful back ink and the man who put it on him. Incredible 😍 As for the match: I’m not gonna lie, I had my difficulties with this match. The buildup was so epic, the match itself felt a little disappointing to me in comparison to their earlier bouts. I adored Jey vs Roman at Clash of Champions and HIAC and I loved the tag match at MITB, so I had very high expectations for this match and maybe they were too high. Idk to me it felt a little off and very much not like Jey’s usual pace and what these two are usually capable of.
Don’t get me wrong, it had some very good spots and some very emotional moments (and some highly comedic ones too, Jey telling Paul to grab the other side of that table? I was cackling! Solo screaming at Roman and looking seconds away from murder after that spear? I was pretty much on the floor, cause it was too damn hilarious!), but overall it felt to me like something was missing. Plus most of us saw that Jimmy return and him turning on Jey and costing him the match, the championship and the tribal chief position weeks ago and from a million miles away. I still think it’s too soon for this and I would’ve loved to actually see this for WM40 next year, just the way Josh and Jon have been dreaming about, but we’ll see.
Seeing it coming doesn’t mean I’m not devastated about it. That ending with Jey crying and screaming all alone in the ring? OH MY GOD. I’ve been watching them as a tag team from the day they arrived in WWE with Tamina and I never thought we’d see the day they break up, but I guess I’m comforted by the knowledge that Josh and Jon are going to have the time of their lives with this feud. For us though? Emotional pain awaits, but what else is new
I’m very curious to hear Jimmy’s reasoning (I'm guessing jealousy or Jey leaving his side when he got hurt to challnge Roman) and to see where Solo fits into all of this if Roman is really taking a break for longer. I can’t see Jimmy realigning himself with Roman or Solo tbh, cause that would make everything that happened since NOC pretty much useless. I’m pretty happy if he goes down the lone wolf route for a while. As for Jey? We know that man had deep trust issues before, but now that his entire family has turned on him, imagine how bad it’s gonna get. Sami come help your man! He needs you and you’ve got nothing going on anyway. WWE please make it happen! We need this! Give Jey back the only person who never turned on him! It could be epic! (doesn't convince you? it could make you loads of money!!) Don’t fumble this, idiots!
All in all: Hated the first half, loved most of the second half. And the parts I didn’t love… well, it is what it is and we’ll deal with the aftermath of it as we always do - by being delulu while writing copious amounts of fix-it fic and crying about it 🤷
Hugs to you anon 💜
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OC test:Confessional pt1
[Warning: It’s depressing]
In the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Month, everyone shall confess a deeply personal thought to one other person not from their universe. It’ll just be those two people in the room.
Veronica:Crap…
xxxx
Mona:Yo.
Lucas:Uhh hey. Color me shocked. Why me?
Mona:I don’t know. Why not? Honestly not quite sure what to say. I’m pretty numb by most things or have aired out my baggage. I was groomed and sexually abused. Big whoop. That’s no secret.
Lucas:…That must’ve been a lot to deal with.
Mona:Not particularly. The only silver lining of it happening so young is most of what happened was too big to really comprehend entirely. It’s fucking awful for sure but better than…hmm. *sits down* …..Heh.
Lucas:*sits* Found something?
Mona:Not many know this but I’m not an only child. I have a little sister. Has to be twelve by now.
Lucas:Why isn’t she here?
Mona:If she was, Ahlai wouldn’t say anything. She’s broken. Like…shattered. Dear old mom just never let up for anything. By the time she turned seven, Ahlai was already gone. Hardly blinked let alone ate. I only remember that because it’s the reason I gave myself to leave her behind when I finally ran away. I was fourteen.
Lucas:…
Mona:…..
Mona:I’ve never pretended or acted like I’m a good person, but every time I think about that, I can’t shrug off how fucked up that was of me. Maybe that’s why I like sticking my neck out for street kids?
Lucas:Not sure how far a fourteen year old girl would’ve gotten if you had grabbed her. Sounds like an un-winnable situation. If it makes you feel better, escaping at all is a feat.
Mona:Heh, I knew I was right to pick you.
xxxxx
Sienna:Hey Frosty.
Summer:That’s…surprisingly a new one. Why me?
Sienna:You’re pretty gentle, like a snow rabbit.
Summer:Thank you? Well, I’m no stranger to therapy. I’ll listen to you.
Sienna:I can’t remember my real name, and that gets to me sometimes.
Summer:…..Sienna isn’t your real name?
Sienna:Hehe, no. It’s what Adam gave me, or…the name I gave myself? My memories are pretty hazy around that time and everything before. Not just my name, but family too. I remember the mines, bits and pieces anyways. I also know…I killed my brother. No face, voice, or even how, but I know it was me.
Summer:That’s…a lot to take in. I’m sorry you went through that.
Sienna:Anytime I try remembering, or even think about asking anyone who does know, my head starts feeling like it’ll split open. My heart races and I can’t stop shaking. Wearing jewelry freaks me out too; my body remembers those days vividly. Just not my brain.
Summer:Our minds can block out traumatic experiences as a way of protecting us. I only recently went back to the lake I nearly died. Immediately had a panic attack, my head remembering the moment I fell in. It was terrifying and I had to leave. There are times our body knows what’s best.
Sienna:Isn’t that just a nice way of saying we’re too weak to handle the truth?
Summer:…Sure feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
xxxxx
Canary:I take it you’re no stranger to Ruby drama?
Carmine:I could write a book about it. Rant.
Canary:When I needed a hero, a person who truly understood my sorrow, Ruby Rose wasn’t there. Not only that but she took away other people with her! I didn’t have to be a girl with limited memories of her dad and no scythe knowledge. I don’t even blame her for the death. I just….it would’ve felt like he was still there if she stood by me. *rubs eyes*
Carmine:Mo- Ruby is never at her best when she’s highly emotional. Sadly, being a mother, daughter, niece, anything of the sort is ripe with emotion. Ironically, it makes her the best hero for everyone else because she understands the weight of those familial ties.
Canary:I don’t hate her or anything. It just sucks. They say never meet your heroes. But when your hero is family…
Carmine:Disappointment comes with it. Yeah, it’s the worst. It’s ironic. You would think out of anyone it would be her family that sees her through rose tinted glasses.
xxxxx
Nick:Hi Yujin.
Yujin:What are the odds? I was gonna pick you too. Heh, same brain cell. *smiles*
Nick:Ha, guess so. Honestly I don’t have many things I haven’t aired out before. I’ve actually gone to therapy, so that helped. *lays on his back*
Yujin:I’m sensing a “but” is on its way.
Nick:Heh, but, I’ll admit I’m pretty upset with myself. I wish I could be rude. Like unapologetically rude. It’s annoying how many people look up to me or expect things. I’ve been surrounded by hundreds before but felt completely alone.
Yujin:I get that. *sits* I can’t count how many times someone said “Yang’s daughter” and I wanted to scream. Not our parents fault that they’re amazing, but it can blow.
Nick:How do you deal with it?
Yujin:It helps when my parents are there watching me do something. Yeah, I am Yang’s daughter, and she’s currently losing her mind over it. I love that.
Nick:Hmmm never looked at it quite like that. It is always nice seeing mom and dad cheer. Can’t undo blood. Guess it really is about changing perspective.
Yujin:Also I’m pretty sure anyone who actually cares about you would understand if you asked them to leave you alone. Anybody else are the actual rude people.
Nick:What’s your confession?
Yujin:Truthfully? I feel like a brat. Always have. People try consoling me and I’m aware bigger things in the world take priority, but I still get upset. I feel like I’m making things a hassle a times. What’s worse is when I’m ignorant about information so now I don’t know I’m making things rough. I want to be better than that.
Nick:Unfortunately…I’m just as lost as you are on that front.
Yujin:That’s okay. Thanks for listening to me. I appreciate it.
xxxxx
Aero:Of all the people to call…
Jael:You seem like a straightforward individual. Kinda like my sister.
Aero:Oh. *red* Thank you. Also I’m terrible at advice so…sorry in advance.
She leans forward until her forehead of his chest.
Jael:It’s alright. Neither is she. My sister lives a life of secrecy to the point she doesn’t actually exist, fake name and all. Mom is maiden and her family is gone, so she’s off the grid. Then there’s dear old dad, who officially dead more than two decades ago. The only person who really exists is me, and I’m basically on borrowed time.
Aero:….
Jael:*tearing up* If I don’t make something of myself, it’ll be like my family never existed. The name Taurus will remain infamous. *crying* It’s not fair. Not when so much more has happened.
Aero:*pats head* My mom believes things happen for a reason. If I were to guess, I’d say you’re on borrowed time because the world knows it’s still more than enough to leave your mark. So don’t sweat it. You’re ahead of schedule.
xxxxx
Tenzen:Helping people is hard.
Sparrow:Truer words have never been spoken. I take it you help a lot of people?
Tenzen:I try to, but I never really feel too good at it. I always feel like I don’t really understand their pain and it only makes things worse. I’m always outside looking in.
Sparrow:Kid, you have your entire life ahead of you. You’re not supposed to have all the answers and solve everyone’s problems. If it comes from a place of sincerity and love then you’re doing the best you can. I’m sure Yujin thinks you’re doing just fine.
Tenzen:I didn’t say it was-
Sparrow:Didn’t have to.
xxxxx
Jackie:What’s with the face?
Sparrow:I was just here. I must be popular.
Jackie:I can’t burden kids with my hang ups! You’re the obvious choice.
Sparrow:Do you have hang ups? You seem pretty put together.
Jackie:At my point in life, only one thing troubles me, my family. Each one of them as their own personal demons in one way or another. I’m doing my best to help them. Together we’re pretty happy. But…eventually we’ll all be apart. It scares me to think that if I were to get hurt and go away to soon, they wouldn’t handle it well. I made a home filled with love. What happens when I can’t give them it anymore?
Sparrow:…Well, did you forget your mother’s love?
Jackie:….*tearing up*
Sparrow: *smiles* That’s the thing about parents. Kids never forget them, for better or worse. You built a home with what you remembered love felt like.
Jackie:I’ve made so many mistakes. I wasn’t a good person for awhile. That love she gave didn’t stop the anger. My demons, they’ve done things.
Sparrow:So you’re just like my mom then and if your kids take after you, they’ll find their way eventually. Right back to the love.
Jackie:….Can I cry?
Sparrow:Heh, you need permission?
Jackie:No. Just giving you a heads up.
Sniffles turn into whimpering as Jacquelyn starts crying softly. Sparrow was kind enough to offer her a warm hug in her moment of stress. He really was raised well.
#rwbabies#oc test#lucas belladonna#mona paulo furem#carmine arc rose#yujin xiao long#nicholas schnee#summer schnee#jacquelyn frost#sienna frost#sparrow branwen#aero amitola#lie tenzen#I have a lot of characters lol
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Actually, DS9 is pretty much the only show I have watched where I have had opinions on ships besides “I hate them” or “They seem good for each other so I GUESS it’s fine but I’d rather look at something else.” These are as follows:
Most of the canon endgame ships, including Jadzia and Worf because I think getting married and remaining married until one of you dies counts as endgame, are actually pretty cute and I did not hate watching them (this is high praise for a ship coming from me). My favorite of them from a character standpoint is Ben and Kasidy, which tbh is also the only one I wasn’t immediately irritated by when it first started. The others I was annoyed with at first but eventually came around to, and ultimately they are mostly pretty well written too.
The only major canon ship I REALLY DON’T like at all is Ezri and Julian. I feel like they will commit so many medical ethics violations because due to lack of other providers they are literally each other’s doctor and therapist and both have a HISTORY of committing medical ethics violations when treating people they are close with (Ezri just generally, Julian specifically with romantic interests). Also it was so forced and rushed. Maybe it could’ve been fine if they’d had like an entire extra season to flesh it out but I would honestly have preferred if they just didn’t do it at all. Also I feel like poor Ezri should’ve gotten like a year to just exist and figure out her issues before being shoved into any relationships AND before returning to work as a therapist because holy shit she fucked up administering therapy so bad so many times.
The one non-canon ship I most think should have been canon if the writers had dared to because it would’ve actually worked really well is the O’Brien polycule. Miles and Keiko clearly care about each other a lot yet have kind of an unstable relationship as it is, but every time they bring a third person into it, it seems to help significantly. They should stay married but Miles should also date Julian and Keiko should also date Kira who is also dating Odo. I think this would eliminate like 90% of drama in these characters’ relationships and generally improve station morale.
Julian and Garak was fun when I was watching the show and discussing it with friends, I guess I would’ve liked to see it in the show if it was handled well because they have an interesting dynamic and it would’ve presumably put an end to the parade of really insufferable “Julian has a crush... on DAX and/or a GIRL WE NEVER SAW BEFORE” events, but at this point I have seen way too many out of character incorrect quotes posts about it clogging the tag and so now I’m kind of tired of it. I get the appeal but let’s post about something else sometimes. Alternatively, let’s make posts about the ship that incorporate the characters’ actual personalities even a little bit. Either is fine.
Quark and Odo should NOT date because Odo would not treat Quark right and Quark would not treat anyone right. Quark wants a relationship so bad but I think he is just way too much of an asshole to everyone he cares about and should be banned from romance forever, sorry Quark. However, and this is crucial, the ship is such an incredible comedy setup that I am still generally happy to see posts about it anyway. “Quark and Odo try dating but they are really bad at it and have a nasty breakup” would also have been a viable episode plot and a fantastic addition to the “Quark fucks up an attempt at romance really bad” episode collection.
Sisko and Dukat is a terrible ship if it’s requited, because Sisko not only deserves better than that but also has too much of a moral backbone to ever even consider dating a person who sucks as bad as Dukat does. HOWEVER, it is funny when people write Dukat as having just an absolutely doomed and miserable one-sided crush on Sisko, who just straight up hates him and has no positive feelings towards him at all. And honestly? Considering what we know about Cardassian flirting and what we know about the horrendous way Dukat treats women he canonically has massive unrequited crushes on, you could make a good argument that "Dukat has a massive unrequited crush on Sisko and is handling it so badly and that’s at least partially why he did this” is a valid read of several of his actions in the show.
I have no real interest in a ship between Jake and Ziyal for its own sake; it’s been boring in every way I’ve seen it presented even though one could in theory do interesting things with it. HOWEVER since the writers were so determined to introduce weird fucking horrible to watch romance subplots for these characters (all of which were thankfully brief, but like, still awful), I think it would’ve improved the show if they were in a relationship simply by virtue of the fact that they were around the same age.
#even my favorites of these im not super invested in in the way people tend to get invested in ships but like.#i think they work.#you probably wont ever see any content from me about them but im happy to see other people's content. you know#i'm not tagging this and have carefully avoided using actual ship names in order to avoid bothering people who ship these.#so please keep that in mind and do not send me bitchy anons about it <3#also this one i dont have strong enough feelings about to include in the main post but bc it's fairly popular and so people might ask?#weyoun and damar as it is shipped on tumblr is a ship between two characters who are straight up not in the show#it doesnt bother me but i dont get it#like when i see people shipping this they've pretty much always completely changed both characters' personalities#and sometimes also redesigned them????#and like. have fun i guess. but also maybe you should try making ocs
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Hi, I was the anon that wrote in after Part Two of the Caelum Corruption Arc and talked about how it sucks people won’t just leave you be.
I am here, again, hating how fucking much the same people persist and admiring and how you persist in sharing your opinion and your voice in spite of it. I can’t imagine how discouraging the trash you must have in your inbox must be and how disheartening it is to have rampaging opponents in your replies when they should have just blocked you if they didn’t like you.
I just wanted to let you know, again, that I think your thoughts and art are well-spoken and eloquent and fantastic and perfectly within your godgiven right to create even if they’re not all for me. I hope you continue to do so, and I hope people stop shading you in the main tag and being mean in your inbox anonymously when you do, cause you’re kind of fuckin cool.
Even if you weren’t cool, that’d still be an abhorrent way to treat you when you mostly just mind your business.
I hope you have a good, nice, peaceful day.
-Lexi (AutisticEmpathyDaemon)
sorry if I didn’t send it through anon it would have sent through my main and that whole system irritates me so that’s why I did it this way I hope that’s okay also sorry if this is rambling and incoherent I got flustered
@autisticempathydaemon
Hewwo, this was so so so incredibly sweet that it actually made me cry a lil bit last night. Thank you so very much for the kind message, i appreciate it so much.
It meant so much to hear you say you admire my persistent, every time i get a compliment like that or someone tells me they admire me it really makes my heart just swell with warmth. I tried very hard over the years to cultivate my assertiveness and persistent, and i absolutely refuse to lose all that work now by backing down because some (lets be honest, most 💀) people in this fandom disagree with me or don't like me or whatever. I can only hope that it emboldens others in this fandom to keep honestly speaking their minds.
To be quite honest, i haven't gotten a lot of anon hate or other such trash in my inbox. My anons are generally so amazing asdfasd, but that's one reason this latest resurgence of the Caelum drama really got to me. Random proship/profiction redacted fandom goers were getting disgusting messages in their inbox without even shipping him with people, whilst I, a Caelum shipper, sat in the corner unbothered. Not to sound savior-y or anything, but i really would have preferred if i got the messages instead of you guys. I saw what they were sending to you guys, and im deeply sorry you had to read them, much less entertain them with responses.
Thank you for calling my responses and art and whatnot "well-spoken and eloquent and fantastic," it honestly makes me wanna cry??? Long long story about why it means so much to me, but it makes me very happy to know im articulating myself efficiently.
Also you think im cool????
I hope you have a good day as well! Thank you so much again! ❤️
#ask#not gonna tag as anon bc i know who ya are now 🥺#(went back and realized i did it anyways on accident. instinct lol oops)#you are not the first person in this fandom to say they admire me i am having a very hard time processing it (positive)#again one more time thank you
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I am so angry rn.
I finally decided to delve into the drama that's going on around MTÜ Slava Ukraini and. "Drama" is lightly said about this situation. This is massive. As far as we know, this woman has a track record of stealing from people!! What the hell!!! And at such a large scale, too! Its "impressive" for all the wrong reasons fr 😭😭😭
As an Estonian I am so sorry that we let a fucking scammer do this in the name of "helping" Ukrainian people while in reality she was stealing the money for herself 😭😭😭
Like, I dont get why its always the grifters who are doing this. Logically I can see a "reason", yes, but its always so vile to think and remember that some people will see a war happening somewhere and be like "huh, lets see how much I can profit from that" 😭😭😭.
In other news nothing is fucking new under the sun but it. Just sucks so much. Especially since the charity grow to be the biggest one most widely known in Estonia, too. Honestly I felt some sort of national pride over seeing just how many people donated and knowing that we were actually doing so much and did create a splash to help even as a small country. But no! Even that kindness had to be misused! And the joy ruined!! By a fucking grifter no less!!!
I still feel proud of all Estonians who donated even when they themselves were not in a great financial shape bc tbh most of us arent. It is just so sad that not even half of that money might have gotten to where it was actually needed.
#ety talks#2023#and to johanna maris lehtme#if i ever see your mug on a street i will fucking deck you in the face#it wont get me back my 25 euros but it will be satisfying at least
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I posted 205 times in 2022
32 posts created (16%)
173 posts reblogged (84%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@aftersun2022
@milkcrisis
@thefoetusallnuderevue
@bastardiando
@lesbianjinbe
I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022
Only 6% of my posts had no tags
#pics - 94 posts
#phorustalk - 36 posts
#art - 31 posts
#tv tag - 28 posts
#one piece - 15 posts
#roronoa zoro - 9 posts
#video - 9 posts
#spn - 9 posts
#spnposting - 9 posts
#tvposting - 8 posts
Longest Tag: 124 characters
#i have a bunch of og posts (from march 2022 and prior) that arent tagged at all and ill go through and tag them another time
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
this show is so fucking funny. the winchesters are the only family ever that held the neurotypical child in a worse light than the very AutDHD one. “because i didn’t wanna bow-hunt or hustle pool because i wanted to go to school and live my life, which in our whacked-out family made me the freak.” like that’s hilarious. i just KNOW dean was getting a 60 or below in every class and his dad fucking loved him for it but sam gets straight As and Bs and his dad couldn’t give less of a shit. dean has never completed a piece of homework in his life but sam would always do his AND get it in on time and their dad discouraged sam’s way of thinking because he liked it better when they slacked off. dean’s only friends were other warriors cats kids and they were only friends for like a week because he was too weird even for them. sam made friends with or at least was acquainted with most of his classmates and that was seen as bad because he had less time to hunt monsters. literally magical.
6 notes - Posted July 10, 2022
#4
sorry for theaterposting but the the general impression i'm getting from the rtc fanbase is that not a lot of people like or agree with the idea of noel catfishing mischa but i for one am super on board with it. i think it's hilarious.
think of your high schools soundcloud rapper (there's at least one of them). you don't know him that well and he's got goofy ass rhymes and he's just a funny character. now imagine your school and town are small and insanely boring, and you're the only gay guy there. you're bored as fuck and one day on youtube you see one of this soundcloud rapper's videos in your recommended and you think "hey, wouldn't it be funny if i pretended to be a hot girl and trolled this guy?" so you do and it's funny and you keep it going for a while because what else do you have to do. then it's been a couple months and you realize this guy is super serious about this relationship and you don't want to end it because you're still having fun, and also because deep down you know it'll hurt him and you've kind of gotten to know him. he ends up proposing to you and you don't know what to do so you say yes and you guys are having cringy google translate internet sex on the regular and he starts talking about saving money to go to ukraine where you don't live to meet you and you realize there's no way to get out of this without him getting hurt. you're vaguely considering faking either your death or your catfish persona's death because you love drama. then you go on a choir trip and the guy is there so you do what you usually do and reply to his texts whenever he's not looking. then you fucking DIE and you're like, this sucks but at least i don't have to deal with that fake online relationship i got myself into.
and then you look over and he's there next to you.
7 notes - Posted December 11, 2022
#3
izzy hands is so workingclass bitter prolegirl mindsick cripplerage.
10 notes - Posted November 28, 2022
#2
honestly from now on im considering it a hate crime to think of zoro as straight. and cis for that matter.
13 notes - Posted April 25, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
i love ruining zoro for dudebros. you dont understand him like i do. i know that hes fat and trans and autistic and gay and mentally ill and disabled. but even more importantly i know he likes math.
14 notes - Posted July 6, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#phorustalk#hrm.#i was very erratic with my posting this year
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Is everything okay? What's going on? I hope all is well ❤
hrrgg
i don't know if i should talk about it considering i could be overreacting and this might not even be about me. i have a feeling it was about me though and. basically, apparently multiple people have sent messages and asks to a person saying that i was vagueing them (probably with certain posts about winx). however, i'm mad because this isn't the first time. if it was then sure fine, i can deal with a little misunderstanding and i can understand why people would think it was a vague about them. like. i get it yknow? but this wasn't the first time.
this person messaged me a couple months ago explaining that apparently multiple people contacted them saying that i didn't want them to reblog my posts? and it was so weird?? i remember writing a post around that time (and i found it) where i basically said that sometimes in fandom discussions i can't tell when someone is mad or just really serious because tones don't always come across through written text? yknow? that's basic and a lot of people understand that. somehow i think that post got misunderstand (or purposely exaggerated) as me saying that i didn't want That Specific Person to reblog my posts. i wrote that post after i responded to them and yes, while it was partially about them, it wasn't anywhere close to a vague about not wanting them to interact with me? it was literally just me saying that sometimes i can't read tones through text?
and yknow that was weird enough but i was happy that that person reached out and cleared things up. i've always liked their stuff so while hearing about what they got sent was weird, i was glad they brought it up so i could clear up what happened. and i Thought that everything was fine and dandy until some recent fandom discussions came up. multiple people happened to be talking about the same thing for a few days, yknow, as is in small fandoms. we all tend to hop off the same topics. and i happened to make a couple posts disagreeing with the majority of them. and that's fine yknow i make it very clear that my opinions are just my opinions and that im fine with people disagreeing with me and explaining why as long as they're not rude about it.
but i think this same thing that happened last time is happening again with people either misunderstanding my tones or purposely making me sound like a jackass but apparently multiple people have sent them messages again about someone vagueing them from that recent discussion. and one, i'm pissed because hello??? but im also a little mad because i literally wasnt the only person talking about that or disagreeing with their opinion? i read their post and i could see their points but i didn't agree with them or the others and i decided to make my own post since i had already made one not too long ago. ik im not the only person that disagreed and was vocal about it because people literally reblogged both of the posts i made.
it's weird to me because i was singled out and this isn't the first time someone (or multiple people) has sent messages trying to start drama between me and this person. and it's really pissing me off because now i feel like i can't even Look at their posts without someone reporting that to them too. i like that person and i already don't interact with them so it's hard to interact with them even less. it's just such a weird fucking situation and again, i'm already pissed enough but i'm double pissed cause ik i'm not the only person this happens to. multiple people have gotten weird asks about other users trying to start drama with them and it's like. give it a rest yknow? again, i don't know if its the same person. but its weird and ik it's been happening for a few years. and yknow maybe they're getting what they want because it's making me want to leave the fandom again. someone already drove me out years ago and i don't know if they've realized im the same person or what but it's happening again and im not gonna stick around for them to start saying worse shit about me. so yknow hoorah to them they win i guess.
#sorry for being such a downer but its a little hard to be positive about this#honestly really hoping that i Am blowing things out of proportion and that it wasnt about me but like#i dont even know anymore#the 'history' i have with them is making me think it is about me#and again im not gonna stick around for this again#someone already tried to start shit between me and other people#and it literally caused someone to tell me something absolutely horrendous (and false) about another user#and personally i dont want to wait around to watch that happen#surprised i havent gotten weird shit about that person yet considering this follows the exact same pattern as the last time but#is this even fandom drama at this point. like what do you even call this.#like. this situation is just so fucking weird#stop making assumptions about people and then telling others about it??? in what world is that okay???#unless someone specifically singles a user out (which at that point its not a vague its just a hate post) you shouldnt be assuming who its#-about and then telling them about it?? it creates unnecessary drama and weird misunderstandings and quite frankly it also#-literally causes those users to be super uncomfortable with each other and can cause Worse situations#even if they do clear it up its still extremely uncomfortable and way too much energy to put into social media relationships??#and at that point their relationship is changed forever like you cant bounce back from that#its especially weird when those people Dont Even Interact With Each Other Like Hello?????#ugh sorry i just get so frustrated with this fandom sometimes like its amazing but it also sucks so much#i say all the time its literally no wonder the fandom is so small everyone gets driven out of it#answered#anonymous#but thank you for checking in! i feel better and i think im gonna try and take my mind off of this now#its just hard cause this is supposed to be a safe space and this fandom continuously reminds me it isnt#ugh gross that last tag sounded so dramatic aljdhgljadhgjl#man.. i was gonna post my blo.om meta soon too >:(
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thin walls. (m)
pairing: softdom!jaemin x sub!reader
words: 1.8k+
summary: you try your best to keep quiet since you know jaemin’s room is right next to yours. turns out you’re not as quiet as you think.
genre: fluff, smut
warnings: dom!jaemin, bestfriend!jaemin, roommate!jaemin, oral sex, daddy kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie
“Isn’t it weird?”
“Is what weird?”
You’re having your weekly video call with Donghyuck and Renjun, the latter actually paying attention to your conversation while the former furiously clicks away on his keyboard.
“We’ve been quarantining for almost a year now. You haven’t gotten any dick in months and your roommate is like the hottest guy we know,” Renjun clarifies, raising an eyebrow. You both ignore the sound of Donghyuck grumbling loudly as he loses another game.
You roll your eyes. “And you’re so concerned about my sex life because?”
“Because clearly, neither me or Donghyuck have one. I’m living vicariously through you.”
That gets Donghyuck’s attention. “For your information, I am supporting many lovely women through OnlyFans. It’s only Renjun that has difficulties with sexual partners.”
Renjun scoffs. “I could have anyone on their knees for me, and we all know it.”
There’s a knock on your door and you take an earbud out when Jaemin pops his head in. He looks like a mess — his hair springing up in different places and eyes puffy. You frown at his disheveled state.
“Hey, are you still busy?”
Your fingers move at the speed of lightning, barely registering Renjun’s protest when you quickly leave the meeting. You toss your laptop and earbuds aside to give your best friend your full attention.
He chuckles and scratches the back of his neck. “If you’re busy, I can come back later.”
“Nope, not busy anymore. Are you okay, Jaem?”
He fully enters the room and shuts the door behind him. He smiles softly at you as he takes a seat on your bed.
“Not feeling too great. Just wanted to see you.”
You ignore the swell in your chest at his confession, worriedly stroking his cheek when you realize how red his eyes are. His hand comes up to play with your fingers, eyes moving in and out of focus.
“What’s wrong?” You finally ask.
He shrugs. “Didn’t do so well on my test today. Feeling a little hopeless.”
Your frown grows deeper. You move closer to him, wanting to soothe his pain.
“Don’t say that. It’s just one test, you’ll do better on the next one. I’ll help you! We can make flash cards and create some trivia games to help you remember.”
He chuckles, eyes still staring down at your connected hands.
“You always know what to say. How is that?”
You giggle. “I earned the title of your best friend for a reason.”
“I suppose you did.” His eyes move upwards to lock on you. “Can I stay here? Just for tonight.”
You freeze. You haven’t slept next to Jaemin in months, the two of you only doing so when you were really drunk or really sad. You don’t even remember what it’s like to fall asleep in your best friend’s arms.
“Sure.”
And you two fall into a quiet rhythm, Jaemin’s arms circling around you as he brings your back to his chest. Your eyes flutter shut, focusing on his steady breaths as you try to fall asleep.
You’re startled when you suddenly feel a pair of lips ghost over your neck, pressing a small kiss to your collarbone.
“J-Jaem?”
He hums in response, not showing any signs of stopping while he continues to pepper kisses on your shoulder.
“Jaem, w-what are you d-doing?”
“I heard you last night.”
You pause. You try to register what he’s saying, which you find is incredibly hard to do when his tongue darts out, licking a stripe up your neck. You backtrack to last night, when you were feeling so drowsy but struggled to get to sleep. You don’t remember much, except for the fact that you reached to your nightstand to grab your vibrator-
Oh. Oh fuck.
“Y-You heard that?”
He hums again, moving to suck your neck with vigor. When he finally parts from his masterpiece, he chuckles.
“How could I not? The walls aren’t exactly thin, you know. I hear everything — all your silly commentary when you rewatch your favorite dramas, your weekly conversations with Renjun and Donghyuck, the pretty little noises you make when you turn your vibrator on, and the unmistakable sound of porn you watch when you’re really aroused.”
You feel more than embarrassed, stuttering as you try to offer an explanation. Jaemin chuckles against your ear, biting softly down on the lobe. A whimper tumbles out of your mouth before you realize it.
“I couldn’t sleep last night after listening to you. You made me fail my test, baby.”
“I’m s-sorry.”
“If you’re really sorry, you’ll let me eat you out.”
You swear your heart stops. “W-What?”
“I’m hungry. You wouldn’t want me to go to bed on an empty stomach, would you?”
“U-Um, no.”
Before you know it, you’re on your back with Jaemin between your legs. His fingers thumb over the fabric of your pajama shorts and he looks up at you, his eyes glimmering with a question.
You nod. “It’s okay, Jaem.”
With your permission, he slides your shorts down your legs and throws them haphazardly across the room. His gaze darkens at the sight of your lacy panties, which you honestly wore unintentionally today. You’re glad you picked them this morning though, because Jaemin looked like he was about to go insane at the sight.
“You’re so fucking perfect.”
And then his tongue licks a stripe up your clothed core and you yelp. He’s almost predatory, shoving your underwear aside and diving into your sopping pussy. You moan when his tongue furiously licks your folds, curling in on yourself while he holds you down.
“Jaemin!”
He parts from you briefly and raises an eyebrow. “I think you have another name to call me.”
You’re confused yet again. “W-What?”
He snickers. “Forgot already? I listened to all those dirty videos you were watching, baby. I know all your cute little kinks. Now, I know you have a different name to address me as.”
“J-Jaemin, I-“
He clicks his tongue. “That’s not right.”
You gather all the courage you have inside of you, ignoring the clear embarrassment on your face by the fact that Jaemin has discovered all of your secret fantasies.
“Daddy, please eat me out.”
He smiles mischievously. “Good girl.”
You have no time to dwell on your self-consciousness before he’s sinking a finger inside of you, tongue lapping at your clit. You feel like a dog in heat, warmth spreading throughout your body as you struggle to comprehend the fact that your best friend is currently eating you out like his life depends on it.
“D-Daddy, daddy!” You scream when he slips another finger inside, curling them upwards while he sucks on your clit furiously. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna-“
You cry out when your orgasm sweeps over you in waves, thrashing and whimpering under Jaemin’s hold. He uses his other hand to hold your hips down when the oversensitivity crashes into you, desperately trying to push away from him.
“D-Daddy, no, I-I’m sensitive-“
Jaemin growls and holds you tighter, fingers still drilling into your pussy and mouth wrapped around your sensitive bud. You don’t have time to warn him when your second orgasm comes just as quickly as the first, convulsing around him. You try to gain a sense of strength to push him away before he can launch you into a third, and Jaemin gets the message as he parts from you.
His chin glimmers with evidence of your arousal, fingers slipping into his mouth while he tastes the remnants of your two orgasms.
He pounces on you, lips crashing into yours and you moan. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and the fact shoots another spike of arousal to your core.
“What else did they do in that video, baby?” He whispers breathily. “Tell me.”
Your brain is a little fuzzy as you try to remember.
“H-He fucked the girl until she was crying and she took it. Anything to please her d-daddy.”
He smirks. “Is that what I should do to you? Fuck you until you’re crying? Will you do anything to please me?”
You know you trusted Jaemin with your life, so you nod.
“Anything for you, daddy.”
He grins. He quickly pulls down his sweatpants and his cock springs up, already half hard. You gulp at his size, and you’re suddenly reminded of why Renjun calls Jaemin the hottest guy you know. Jaemin’s girth wasn’t exactly a secret in your friend group, many rumors spreading around after Donghyuck discovered how well endowed your roommate actually was.
His fingers grip his base, slowly pumping himself while keeping his eyes locked on you.
“Like what you see, baby? Do you think your pussy is ready to take daddy’s fat cock?”
“Y-Yes, d-daddy. I c-can take your c-cock.”
He chuckles at your response, brushing strands of hair away from your face to fully look at you. His look is almost endearing, and you would swoon any other day if he wasn’t about to fuck you.
He lines himself up to your entrance, pausing for a second.
“Do I need to get a condom?”
You shake your head. “I’m on birth control. We’re fine.”
He doesn’t hesitate any longer, pushing into you slowly. You whine at the stretch. You haven’t been taken like this in months, and your vibrator is no match for his huge cock. He coaxes you through the pain, whispering softly in your ear and kissing your neck again to help ease you up.
Once he bottoms out, he waits patiently for your go ahead before moving. You can tell it’s killing him on the inside, brows pushed together as he tries his best not to pound you deep into the mattress.
“P-Please, daddy.”
Jaemin builds a steady pace inside of you, groaning and grunting into your ear as he sinks deeper and deeper. Your mind draws a blank when you struggle to form any coherent words, babbling while he impales you with his cock.
“You’re such a good girl for me. Always so good. Been waiting for this forever, baby. Dreamed so long of having you underneath me like this.”
“Daddy,” you gasp at his unexpected confession, hissing lowly when his fingers circle around your clit. Tears spring up in your eyes from the pleasure.
“Especially all those mornings when you were wearing practically nothing in front of me, you don’t even know how many times I wanted to take you on the kitchen counter.”
You cry when his cock hits you harder and faster.
“But you’re so good for me now, aren’t you, baby? So pretty and perfect for her daddy.”
“Y-Yes, daddy,” you whimper. “I’m all yours. All good for daddy.”
Jaemin groans loudly. “Cum for me, baby. Cum for daddy.”
Your orgasm is blinding, your nails digging into his shoulders as you ride out your high. He follows shortly after you, grunting when he shoots his cum deep inside your waiting womb.
You both lay in silence before you suddenly burst out in laughter. Jaemin eyes you.
“What?”
“We just fucked. I just fucked my best friend and called him daddy. This is so surreal.”
He chuckles, leaning down to press a kiss against your lips.
“Better get used to it. Who knows how long we’ll be stuck in quarantine together.”
You smile. “Doesn’t sound so bad to me.”
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