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regryrth · 8 months

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#drdtdevappreciation

Im so proud of how you all as a fandom handled this so well 💙 I know things are still pretty shaky in places and no one can rlly say this problem is “solved” or “forgiven” unless DRDT Dev specifically says so (which I dont mean to say they should or have to comment on anything, I know they mentioned theyre nervous and now uncomfortable interacting which I understand and accept responsibility for) But it really makes me happy to see how for the most part We’re turning something bad into appreciation. So for the fandom here. I appreciate all of you.

Even the ones who mightve gone too far. Just like me u had good or at least non malicious intent. Which turned out bad but there are still ppl who respectfully understand where youre coming from. Maybe its not wanted- But I appreciate and care for you too. I dont know how youre handling this all, But if its anything like how I did, I hope you understand nothing is ur fault just like how people have said it’s not entirely mine and not DRDT Devs. Even if it wasnt the best thing u couldve said in the moment. I understand u didnt want to harass anyone. It was a mistake made cause it’s human to act emotionaly have opinions and want to be understood with that. That can make ppl say and post things online that get deserved back-lash like I did. And the things u say can seriously hurt people like I did. I cant say how anyone else feels with everything thats happened But if Im right about everything so far. Its okay. To me at least which I guess isnt much. Even If u dont feel real remorse- You feel u were justified- But just dont want to be lectured in paregraphs over and over. Thats ok to me too. No one has to be completely justified in how they feel and it would be hyppocritical of me to say u do. And you shouldnt have to be looked at as any worse then the rest of us for stating your mind. Ur a great DRDT fan and person too and no one should claim any different for anyone. So while no one can throw around the word “forgive” for an incident that isnt ours to forgive- I “understand” u.

On a lighter note- The people who defended DRDT Dev without harassing anyone. U all acted so maturely in response to everything I honestly envy u a little. Does maturity and not making mistakes like these come one by one for you? When I make mistakes like this I feel like something with no real sense of right or wrong- Then I mess up and ppl come out to tell me where I went wrong and the “right” thing to do- And I piece together all the life lessons and “right” responses little by little until I feel safe with myself. Like a kintsugi piece. And like the cake in chapter 1! Did u have to do the same? I wonder if everyone experiences this. But thats not so relevant to appreciating you- So thank you for seeing every side. Even mine. Thank you for taking this whole situation and turning it into something good for everyone. We should talk about stuff like this more- While I still wish I hadnt posted that confession Im happy with whats been made of it- Even if the damage was still done. Because disrespecting and dehumanizing creators like DRDT Dev who put themselfs through so much to make wonderful content for us is never ok and to sweep it under the rug Like nothing ever happened is even worse. I know I requested the original post be deleted But Im ok with it being up on other blogs and posts because its important to hold stuff like this accountable and talk about it. And u guys did just that which is why Im so proud and thankful for u. This isnt a Thanksgiving dinner But u all deserve to be appreciated for doing good things too and supporting DRDT Dev.

And that brings me to who I appreciate the most- DRDT Dev. Everyone has said it so perfectly already I cant think of how to say it myself. But theyre so strong for going through all this. With their health. And going through and finding things like what I said. And other things none of us know about because they work to prioritize us over themself. And yet they still dont give up. They still keep going even with everything. They dont have to do this. But they do anyways and we should all appreciate them so much for that. Because sometimes we forget they and there team are human- I forgot that too. Doing things like my confession and taking their work for granted and other things is never ok. Im so happy we can do something to share our appreciation for DRDT, DRDT Dev and their team. Bad things and arguments and DRDT Dev being hurt by me had to happen first. I wish it didnt and that fandoms would give this much love and support to their creators without some incident happening first. But Im happy what happened let us appreciate the dev for there work now. And even if the DRDT Dev doesnt create side content anymore because of this- Its alright. They shouldnt have to push themselves past their boundaries or limits for us cause they already do so much. Even if we dont know much about them- We know enough to say theyre a wonderful person and we all love their content and them so much.

I know a lot of ppl apologized on my behalf and I suppose I wrote a longer apology to DRDT Dev and the fandom. But Ill say again as the anon themself- I am deeply sorry DRDT Dev for what I and others have said and done. I hope that you are well. And that youre able to see our appreciation through these posts.

I love you all 💙

#drdtdevappreciation #drdt #danganronpa despair time #despair time

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maschotch · 1 year

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Few different thoughts on 701 and 702.

The unsub in 702 is so creepy and f'd up. It was pretty good writing.

I don't really understand the fued between JJ and Reid because at the end of 701 everyone is in the meeting room and looks fine. If they had written that Reid wasn't there then it would've made more sense in 702.

Also I didn't like the writing when Reid yells at JJ, it just didn't flow well.

I don't understand the whole "what if I had started taking Dilaudid again would you have let me part?"

Specifically the "would you have let me" part.

It should have ended at "What if I started taking Dilaudid again?"

And going to JJ's house crying. That's not really Reid's character...he doesn't really ask for help, people usually ask him if he's okay and eventually he may say something...like with the drug problem or the headaches...

What do you think?

701 was one of their worst episodes honestly. the whole doyle arc was done so well, which makes it so much worse when the finale falls flat. i think bringing declan’s mom as a foil for lauren was cool (and low empathy emily interacting w no empathy doyle is fucking hilarious), but other than that, it was just so… disappointing. all that build up for nothing. even the reunion felt insincere (other than shemar who acted his fuckijg ass off w that kicked puppy look). no one really reacted. idk they just made that whole ep so… uninteresting. like it wasnt entertaining at all and made absolutely no sense for anyone. truly a waste. the doyle arc couldve been so good if they just managed to stick the landing

702 was definitely the most blatant ableism in a while.. that being said, it’s a fun episode bc they make him so vile. and tbh i kinda like the little reid jj drama.. it does admittedly feel like it comes outta nowhere, and it’s not even bc the last episode didnt build up to it—we just haven’t seen jj/reid interact in an emotionally vulnerable way? like of all people, jj feels like the last person reid would go to if he needed to cry. she’s shown him nothing but disdain or indifference when he’s ever emotional around her. but i do think it’s fun that they played w the betrayal. jj’s annoyance that reid hadn’t forgiven her yet was so in character and it was interesting to see that confrontation

i dont mind their fight honestly. yeah it’s a little choppy and all over the place w reid jumping from one point to another, but i think it works bc 1) when anger reaches a certain point it becomes difficult to think linearly and 2) reid in particular isn’t exactly known for being in touch with his feelings, so he’s dealing with it while arguing. all his emotions are bubbling up at once, all the different reasons he has to be (rightfully btw) upset. reid is already a little scatterbrained and has a hard time focusing—he has so much going on in his mind at any given time that it’s hard for him to control when he’s this frustrated. all things considered i think he got his points across pretty well

i think it’s interesting that he brings up his addiction now when it’s gone unmentioned for like three seasons. i think it shows that (yeah the writers probably just forgot/didnt care) he’s pretty private about it. it’s something that was embarrassing for him, and we know he doesnt have the healthiest standards for deserving self respect. it’s partly bc he wants to be private about it and partly bc his attempts to reach out went ignored in the early stages of his addiction. so he’s been quietly struggling in the background all this time—recovery isn’t linear either. it’s definitely realistic for him to want to turn to a familiar sense of release. i think that’s what he was trying to convey: how deeply this hurt him. he was in genuine pain, and he resents jj for letting him suffer when she knew emily was still alive. to be fair i dont think he’s processed that she didnt really have a choice, or thought at all about the repercussions of jj telling the truth. bringing up dilaudid was his way of saying “what if it got that bad? how miserable do i have to be to earn mercy, to earn the truth? do i have to risk ruining my life for you to be honest?”

idk. jj was doing what she could (what she had been ordered to do) to protect emily, so i dont blame her for keeping quiet. but reid is also entitled to his anger—it’s very fair of him to be upset at the perceived betrayal from a (supposedly) close friend. the problem is that jj is rejecting reid’s emotions for a second time, this time without reason. she expects him to be perfectly understanding and everything to go back to normal as if nothing has changed. but that’s her own fucked up little coping mechanism lol. im actually a big fan of this moment (even if they didnt provide any fucking context)

#asks #cm crit

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goremet-chef · 11 months

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vent/rant

its so fucking ABSURD man. "whats with the attitude?" you want me to kill the mood even more? want me to say im depressed cuz my cat is dead and i didnt even realize that on the 21st, that would be the last time id ever see her again? is that what you fucking want?

its so NON EXISTANT to EVERYONE, it means fucking nothing to them!!! how could you care so little, just because we didnt live with her? she was the last remnant of my home. a home free of yelling and violence and blood, home where my friends live, home where i was safe and now shes gone, she was the last one. i thought i had longer with her, at least with riley i got to say goodbye properly

the same thing happened with domino, when i was younger. i felt so betrayed that they didnt even let me say bye to him, i feel a similar anger now.. but i live 2 hours away, there was no convenient way for them to let me do that. i think just..

the SUDDENNESS of the decision is what breaks my heart. she didnt know she wasnt gonna wake up ever again, she probably had no idea what was happening and its. its not like i wanted to see her die, the same way we watched riley get worse until we realized there was no saving him and he wasnt gonna get better, but.. was there really nothing we couldve done? nothing at all? was euthanasia the ONLY course of action? maybe we could have saved her, but its too late now. it doesnt matter anymore

im still kind of in denial, honestly.. it doesnt feel real. some part of me thinks it was a sick joke from my sibling. i know its not, i know its real, but with how everyones acting like it didnt happen at all, you couldnt blame me for feeling that way. part of me really hopes it was a joke but. i know if i ask ill just get confirmation that it wasnt

i wish i was there at least. that way i wouldnt be stuck in this limbo of thinking its not real. i know when riley was put down, id still go to my grandmas room and go to the living room at night somewhat hoping that he'd be there when i looked, but of course he never was. one time i was zoned out and i subconsciously reached over to pet him and feeling time stop when i froze and saw i was reaching for nothing, it hurt so fucking bad, it still hurts so fucking bad man. looking up and seeing the little box he was inside, it fucking sucks i hate this so much

i wish i was there, because at least my grandma gets it. those were her cats, have been for years. she always played it off like they werent because technically artemis and riley were OUR cats, but my mom lost her home and my grandma took us in when i was like.. 8 or 9. and she decided to go back and get them for us. im so grateful she did, because they wouldnt have lived as long as they had out there.

she gets it, because she loved them too. my mom didnt love them. my brother didnt love them. my older sister literally just completely abandoned and probably forgot about riley, who was HER cat. i remember he used to attack my feet from under the bed, when i was a little kid. the only one who came close to loving them like how we do was my oldest sibling, and even still he doesnt seem sad about it at all. like i know hes sad cuz he loved her but he rarely ever saw her, it was more like a passing claim of "oh, thats my cat", yknow?

my grandma gets it. i know she knows its really hard for me. it was so hard when domino was gone. when riley was sick, she tried to be lighthearted about it and even when i saw him for the last time, and we were both crying, she told me to say bye to him in kind of a goofy voice. i know she doesnt want to see me hurting like that, and it was kind of dreadful at the time, but im really glad she let me say goodbye to him, because it was a goodbye i meant. it wasnt "goodbye, see you later", it was the real one and i didnt get to give that to arty. i just said bye like normal, because i thought shed be okay! i thought whatever was wrong with her, we could fix. i cant believe it was so cut and dry

and i cant stand it here, they dont have and kind of sympathy, i think my mom doesnt even KNOW that i know. which means she just didnt plan on telling me at all. even my sibling was confused as to why she wouldnt have. its like they cant fathom why id be sad for more than a day or two, but i loved her! i fucking loved her, i loved all of them

i dont believe in the afterlife, but part of me wants to believe that they can at least know how much i miss them, how much i love them. its the only sort of comfort i have, even if i dont really believe it. i hope they can hear me cry and they know that its because i love them so fucking much and i want to see them again

it doesnt help that, exactly like when riley was put to sleep, im having dreams about her. dreams where shes dead, but im hallucinating her and i can see her again and im petting her and its so real.. shes there in my head and everyone around me tells me "its not real" but i dont even care! i dont care if its not real, because seeing her is enough. arty, i love you so much girl, im so fucking sorry we couldnt do anything. im sorry to riley too, and domino, and talcum. im sorry marceline, im sorry ellie. i know its not my fault, there was really just nothing we could do, but man i wish that wasnt true

they lived their whole lives with us, which is why its so crazy to me that most of my family doesnt really care. no one is gonna remember them, so ill drown myself in the grief just to honor their memory, because they deserve to be cried over. they deserve to be missed, to have someone who loves them after everything. their loss should be mourned, how could i think back on their whole lives and do anything but? i know people say "oh, remember the good times! they wouldnt want you to be sad" but the good times are gone. crying affirms the fact that i loved them and ill keep loving them until im dead too, because they deserve that

#pet loss #tw pet loss #pet death #tw pet death

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myriadsystem · 2 years

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Any systems out there that have maybe advice or anecdotes about non-corporeal alters, please if you feel comfortable sharing im in a tight spot and could use guidance:

So, I am a ghost. When we were little our hosts had always been human, during our teen years i co-hosted with a human. During our late teens/early 20s i was considered less of a co-host and more of just only being out when we interacted with our abuser, and the human co-host became the only host for a while. Since then that human is no longer host and isnt able to be considered co-host anymore (atleast not for the forseeable future until we get therapy and can unpack some stuff for her) and the role of host falls solely on me. The ghosty hostess with the mostess 😎

So basically tl;dr the first part, ive been in the body fairly often before but its only the last few months i have been here all the time with 'just me' (obv not including random switches/lurking but like i mean in a sense of the body primarily belonging only to me without a break.)

The body deals with a l o t of chronic pain.

Basically i had some thoughts recently where i couldnt tell if i could feel the body pains more these days just because i dont have a co-host/have someone to take it from me when its overwhelming, or because im becoming more connected with the idea of having physicality? Or the pain is just worse/increased because whatever is causing the pain hasnt been medically adressed and my condition has decreased. I have recently stopped taking my uh, 🍀 medication due to financial reasons and since not having it the body just feels worse and worse every day, i honestly didnt realise just how much it was doing for me in regards to just like. Allowing me to go for a tiny 10min slow paced walk without wishing to scream and howl in pain with every step. To let me function, essentially, on a physical pain management scale.

The last two ideas stress me out. I still feel like a ghost, not to get too personal but my ghost form wasnt formed out of a near death experience it was out of a need to have certain words and events 'go through me,' and a deep connected sense of lonelyness and abandonment like those things and people and places who are gone and forgotten. And i carry much trauma related to those feelings which i will not be going into detail about here. But the thought that i have been in this body so long by myself, and have over the last few years found friends and connections to other physical people i want to be around, couldve caused/be causing me to slowly become less ghost and more physically real? That scares and worries me. I still very much feel like i need to be ghost to stop us getting hurt in that way. I worry if i become corporeal, it will be easy for other people to hurt us in that same way again. I worry if i am corporeal that i will have to deal with the bodys physical pains much more intensely than i already do if i am so connected to it, and that i cannot do what i do best to allow painful things to pass through me. Like im made of nothing but smoke because i essentially am. Thats my entire reason for being. I worry if this is the case and im becoming a more physical embodiment of my former self that its out of my control and i dont get a choice. Because i would chose to stay ghost if i could.

The other option is also scary. The body is only 24 years old dude. It shouldnt hurt this much all the time over comparatively small tasks. Or no tasks. It shouldnt hurt this much just to be 'alive'. And if it is because the condition has progressed since the last time i was aware of the body for real and ive gotten worse? Thats almost too much to think about. How quickly is it progressing? Why cant i do anything to stop it? Why wont doctors do anything to stop it, or atleast identify it so i can work on managing it myself? Ive only ever split once (personally i mean not as a system) and the poor entity is full of medical trauma. It makes it so hard to keep going to doctors to keep begging them to take me seriously when they never do. Its so much pain and effort (let alone money) and exhaustion just to get to a doctor. Not even a specialist just a gp. Only for them to tell me every time that i brush my hair and dress nicely and usually wear makeup and i couldn't possibly be struggling in any way, especially physically. Its too much effort, more effort than its worth for that. So i dont really go to a doctor any more, but i need to, i need just one of them to take me fucking seriously. Because i have no good way of knowing if this pain seems so new and intense to me because im more 'real' (physical) than i ever was, or because there is more pain.

Both options suck

So yeah idk any ghostly entities or fluid/non-corporeal/shadow type alters, do you have advice how to tell if you might be becoming physical? Or those of you who used to be floaty who did transition into a more 'sturdy' being, what did it feel like? When did you know you werent the concept of see-through anymore? Do you prefer not having a graspable form? How has this change benefited your sys?

Idk i have a lot of questions just any sort of advice might be helpful here bc im having a rough time lately managing physical body pain in relation to the literal reason i exist and if i still exist like that.

#thats so fkn long im so sorry i so rarely post actual longform stuff on here but ive been thinking about lots lately #plus this is my blog i get to talk about my stuff here. this is my blog i have to keep reminding myself the social rules ive built myself #do not have to apply here. i can be a nuisance on my own damn blog if i wish #im also sorry idk how to do a readmore tho #i tried. i do not know if it will work its the first one ive done and i am on mobile app so im just reslly sorry if it doesnt work #and you get this huge text wall comin at ya #thats a lot of personal stuff i fe a bit weord abt posting so much private stuff openly but i needed to get these thoughts out #in a way where i can maybe get advice without judgement and not just a one sided journaling entry #personal #did #osdd #tw: death mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: drug mention #endos dni #tw: split mention #? idk what to tag as trigger warnings theres a lot of heavy implied stuff here but no actual real details i think #tw: ghosts #gross fuck you if you expect me to tw my fucking self but also. like i get it. i get not everyones cool with ghosts #bc theyre so often linked with deathy concepts #tw: trauma #tw: trauma mention #again not specifically with detail but i just dont wanna upset unprepared folks #next question for myself. if i click dont allow reblogs can people still reply? we will find tf out i suppose #if youre 'endo' you will be immediately blocked upon my finding this out or if youre just a dick about this post or my situation in general #im in a bad place. i have zero fucking tolerance for any kind of hate or even criticism right now. friendly discussions please only #im happy for you to share your stories if you think it relates or you might have insight into my situation #and im asking for advice so unless its very obviously unsolicited or unapplicable to situations like this(airy alters becoming less airy)#please feel free to share whatever you think might help or work within context #system

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ninjayuri · 2 years

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warning. past fae was a lot less afraid of talking. dr3 hope arc the anime spoilers uh. i'm just copy pasting from discord idk man. and im NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THIS IS FUCKING LONG

ruruka + seiko (a bit of sonosuke)

honestly, this dynamic is really, really well written. in fact, their toxicity/issues are focused on more than ruruka x sonosuke, and theres reasons for that, because this relationship has influenced their personalities and world views a lot, and explains some things too. ruruka, sonosuke, and seiko were childhood friends from the very beginning, with sonosuke and ruruka having a dynamic with more romantic undertones, while ruruka and seiko had,,,a lot of history. okay so ruruka? her whole candy making thing is actually a lot deeper than it seems, i feel like. like,,,,it's literally her only talent, so she feels like she isnt much good for anything else. on the other hand, seiko is seiko and shes very talented and stuff so what ruruka used to do is, she used to like ask favours of seiko a lot. and i mean a lot. seiko isnt dumb though, so she assumed that she was being used. but the thing is, she wasnt. ruruka was just glad to have someone to depend on, i think.

and like i mentioned earlier, candy making is ruruka's only useful quality in her mind, so the only way she can really think of paying seiko by is by giving her candy. so despite seiko repeatedly saying shes allergic to candy, and that consuming it can literally kill her, ruruka has trouble believing that, thinking that seiko probably looks down on her or something?? cuz ruruka doesnt have anything else to offer?? eventually i remember in the manga, seiko felt really bad so she did eat one of the candies, but then ended up hospitalized,,,,ruruka then ended up feeling bad and she visited seiko in the hospital a lot, etc etc. and despite all of these conflicts, they really did want to be friends. evidence for which i will present in this next essay

remember that one episode? the bombing and stuff? right, so nagito ended up taking the other bag blablabla, ruruka got blamed for the drugs and things, and because there was no way to tell that it was a different package, ruruka naturally assumes that seiko did this on purpose, gave her the wrong drugs, to make ruruka look even worse than she already feels. this is when they both really snap, and all the toxic aspects of their relationships that theyve been ignoring this whole time to focus on their caring for each other, all this pent up anger comes out. ruruka ends up blaming seiko for everything, and seiko responds in an equally hateful manner, they both end up saying things they dont mean, they get expelled, you know the story. this part is really important because this is the real point where theyre both too like,,scared?? of what the other thinks now??? so despite them both heavily regretting the things they said, this is waayyy too big of an event for them to just push aside like they used to. after this, theres really no easy way for them to reconcile, and they both believe the other girl will never forgive her because it was all jsut so,,,true? they both did mean it and i feel like, if they had the chance and things happened in a slightly different manner, this actually couldve been good for their relationship, because theyll both realize what the other girl is feeling and theyd be able to target those issues and heal their relationship. unfortunately, nothing is actually that easy, so they both take the easy way out: ignore each other, cut all contact, blablabla. but like i mentioned. they both DID feel extremely regretful as despite the toxic parts, they did value their relationship,,,it was just too far gone for them to fix easily after that

okay NOW we're getting to the real part. so the bombings happened, they arent friends anymore, they both think the other girl is a traitor, you know the story. but yeah, they feel regretful, yeah, they still want to be friends, but they kinda end up ignoring that because how could they?? after all theyve been through, after that other bitch messed up their life, they shouldnt care. they SHould hate each other. and so, seiko challenges sonosuke and ruruka in super beast mode. during this, seiko remembers the very beginning, where ruruka wanted to be her friend. she kinda gets really regretful at this point, because like. where did it go so wrong?? they were best friends. they really cared about each other. so why did it go so wrong?

however, seiko doesnt know that ruruka wasnt using her at all, she doesnt know about the fact that ruruka was just glad to have someone to trust and depend on. this next part isnt technically canon, but in the manga, they do get the reconcile scene they deserve, where they explain their feelings and fixed the relationship. seiko asked if she could have a candy, like ruruka always wanted, because she's gonna die in this death game anyway and shes at least like to do the one thing ruruka always wanted before she dies. and then in the anime again, right before seiko commits s//icide, she hears ruruka saying that all she wanted was to be seiko's friend.

some other uncanon things: i feel like ruruka probably has some kind of unexplained trust issues, because it shouldnt be so hard to believe that seiko genuinely was telling the truth with the being unable to eat her candy, like it shouldnt be something she feels she has to repeatedly state unless theres soemthing there. she obviously had some issues with being able to take seiko's words at face value despite caring about her, until seiko actually got hospitalized

SUMMARY: they had a very complicated relationship, that they both wanted, but with all of their struggles with not telling their feelings before something big broke them up, the potential caring dynamic they couldve had, unfortunately, never had the chance to happen.

it's realistic too. not the BOMBINGS AND STUFJHDFS i mean the dynamic. like sometimes? its easier to blame the other person, to ghost them, even if you deeply care and regret it, because explaining and all that is so incredibly difficult

#this is from! january of last year??????#I STILL TYPED THE SAME SEE oh mein gott why #i never even finished watching the fucking anime myself by the way what the HELL WAS I ANALYZING

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sushisocks · 8 days

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sushi socks IS so 2015 concept lord almighty

LMFAOOO LISTEN MAN

i remember a time of joyful silly socks, many pairs owned by yours truly, a pair with sushi motifs among them. those socks are long gone, and in an age of absurdism and post-post-post irony, i keep this url as a badge of honor

besides, for a 2015 url it couldve been so much worse, honestly

#this made me cackle so hard #i think i get away with sushisocks bcz its not overtly 2015 until i SAY i came up with it in 2015 #and imo as an url it's got a good look/sound to it #im not one to do fandom specific urls so yk #teki talks #asks

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toxicsamruby · 3 years

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mystery spot in my head: the cold open with asia, works like a regular case with multiple suspects and dean dies right at the end of the episode, second episode is asia open number two and that’s all time loops up until san finds the trickster and we end with the wednesday death, and then a full episode of sam alone

I WAS LITERALLY ABT TO SAY IT COULDVE WORKED AS A MULTI EPISODE ARC!!!! cuz its clearly such a gimmick like its the Groundhog Day Episode!!! and so none of it really has long term consequences cuz its basically reduced to the gimmick. but especially if s3 had never involved lilith at all and the entire 16 episodes was just a few arcs exploring sam and dean and their relationship and how they’re dealing with how close the end is.....man........multi episode mystery spot arc my beloved............like each part would have So Much Weight!!!

like im imagining the first episode of this arc where theres a one off character who lost a relative or something and we have the connection btwn this character and sam where she’s dealing w the death in her family in a healthy way like yeah he’s gone but i’m still here and i need to keep going. and its a little fakeout like hey maybe sam is gonna be okay maybe he’s learning how to deal with death and then. dean dies suddenly at the end of the episode

and then in the second episode! sam’s getting progressively worse as he sees dean die over and over eventually he snaps at the one off girl who he connected with in the first part and for the first time we see this ugliness in him that we really have never seen like this, the selfish my family is the only thing that matters that we thought he’d escaped inheriting. and then we meet the trickster and sam is genuinely scary w the way he's threatening him

and then the third ep......just a continuation of sam’s descent.....he scares the one off girl really really badly and theres a moment where she and the audience ask sam What’s wrong with you how did you become this and for a moment he seriously reflects on the fact that 2 or 3 years ago he was completely Out of this life and now he’s back in this perpetual cycle of vengeance and rage. like he has a moment of serious and self aware reflection. and the crux of the episode is that he leans into it. he’s self aware that he’s taking after dean and john and he doesn’t care he doesn’t even try to break out of the cycle. and the episode culminates with him honestly thinking that he’s killed bobby to bring back dean. and the trickster doesn’t explicitly say the thesis statement of the episode they just look at each other for a minute and sam tells him to bring dean back and the trickster just does it no arguments. and then dean’s back and everythings fine and sam does his sammy smile and lets dean baby him a little more than usual bc he missed him so bad and he never tells him a thing. and we finish the arc (and eventually the season) with the knowledge that sam can and will continue the family cycle of violence

#IMAGINE IF SUPERNATURAL WAS A HORROR-TRAGEDY #asks

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klonoadreams · 2 years

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i dont think inosuke can lie either, and he couldnt speak too! i know he spread them out to cover more ground but like he really should not have cause this whole thing couldve gone so badly. if they were both with zenitsu he coulve done all the talking and lying for the 3 of them but the mission went pretty okay anyways so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I mean not speaking is already good enough as is. Can't lie if you can't speak.

vhrejvhrjkebvf

But Zenitsu would've certainly helped a lot if they were put together. Honestly, that would've been great, but it also would've pissed off Zenitsu because Inosuke out here, getting a nicer kimono and better makeup and attention.

Everyone relies on Tanjirou, and he's just there, helping the ladies out with the shamisen.

Zenitsu would've been simmering too much in his jealousy and annoyance, paired up with how hot Uzui is and the fact that he has THREE wives.

Truly, this was done out of consideration for him.

Thankfully, this mission went pretty okay. I mean, it could've gone worse, but...make the most of what you have. :V

#ask #kny #kny spoilers #kimetsu no yaiba #agatsuma zenitsu #hashibira inosuke #kamado tanjirou #uzui tengen #entertainment district arc

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hazydaaze · 3 years

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i just read your article about kate and jo and i dont think i couldve put it better myself. ive been thinking it through and honestly come to the conclusion that jed just..isn't that great at writing women (or just somehow forgot for this season bc lindsay denton and even roz huntley were compelling female characters). if you look at every single female character this season, they were all kind of criminally underdeveloped- chloe served as no more than a plot device, as did farida, patty c came in all guns blazing and then..did nothing, and even jo's storyline fizzled out after her interview. kinda seems to me looking back that he often starts semi-emotional plots for kate (which lets be honest has always just been the one note plotline about her husband and son) and then abandons them to focus on some irrelevant aspect of steve's life instead. she arguably had the most interesting emotional storyline this season with her connection to jo, but seems like steve's painkillers were more emotional to jed!

I read this comment aloud to my girlfriend last night and we had a long, really interesting conversation about Jed Mercurio's treatment of female characters :) :) thank you so much for your words!

You are SO right. Jed creates compelling female characters, yet fails to arrest them emotionally in any way, so they float and then eventually sink under another unnecessary and pointless storyline. This happens to basically all of the female characters you mentioned, in some way or another - they just fade into the background. So much wasted potential gone, so under-utilised.

Chloe was an actual WOLF. A pure leader of the pack and a diamond. She was so motivated, so clinical, she always hit the mark and delivered the goods. She could've soared. They brought up this Christopher Thompson case which could've tackled institutionalised racism, and it didn't go anywhere. What was the significance of showing the case, revealing the faces of those 5 white boy thugs, if they were going to drop it straight after? It would’ve been pretty special to see Chloe step up and lead the way on this case, being one of the few black women on the show. She stood in perfect contrast to Steve this season - when he was hitting ignore on his emails from occupational health and looking HAGGARD trying to chat up Steph in Merseyside, Chloe single-handedly cracked a ten-year long case. And yet Jed had the audacity to include a scene of Steve and Kate at the pub clinking their pints like, "well done mate." FOR WHAT? IT WAS ALL CHLOE. YOU DID NOTHING.

Without being too controversial I have always found Steve's character to be overwhelmingly one-dimensional. We never get to see his emotions, really. He is canonically boring. I don't care if he has a bad back - if that is the extent of his storyline (which it basically was) and it doesn't lead to a big reveal in the Fourth Man case, why should I care? The female characters are all like bright spitting fireworks in comparison to him. He needs those jazzy waistcoats to spice him up, and even that doesn't really work. (Sorry to Steve fans.)

I also 100% agree about Farida Jatri. She served as a plot storyline only and then dropped her pronto. It would've been interesting to hear what her thoughts were about getting set up by Jo. What's she going on to do next? What was she referring to when she said 'you don't know what she's capable of?' What about all the other women that work in AC-12?

For queer women particularly, Jed clearly doesn’t know what to do with them. The palpable queer dynamic between Kate and Jo could not have been handled any worse. Not only did he disregard their goodbye + any connection HE HIMSELF had embedded into their storyline in the finale, he also tainted Kate’s character by insinuating that she was capable of manipulating Jo when she was clearly emotionally and physically vulnerable (at risk of being killed), and she was constantly dealing with past trauma. We see Kate act this way with Gates in series 1, but it hits differently this time, given that Jo is the show’s first guest star who is a lesbian, the implications have far more wide reaching impact on our representation - it’s cruel and it was so unnecessary. Honestly what was the point?

The fact that hurts the most about all of this is no one from the Line of Duty cast and crew is talking about why they did this. They don't even realise how wrong it is?

#line of duty #kate fleming #steve arnott #flemson #jo davidson #line of duty series 6 #vicky mcclure #kelly macdonald

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pinksparklelps · 2 years

Text

Bluefur and gray wing time

Spoilers for dawn of the clans and bluestars prophecy.

Bluefur

Shes gone thru a lot throughout her super edition and into the wild

She lost her mother very early into her life which would greatly impact anyone. She closes herself off and struggles to do her apprenticeship, even internally berating snowpaw for moving on. Its not nice, but shes young and is blinded by grief that shouldnt be on anyone at such a young age. Sunfall goes about it correctly imo. Telling her moonflower will always be with her and that she needs to help the clan without yelling at her to “cut it out”.

Shes correct to not trust thistleclaw. Hes arrogant and makes no attempt to change his actions. He yells at bluefur about snowfurs death when it literally couldve been anyone out on the thunderpath. It couldve been one of the shadowclan warriors, it couldve been bluefur herself.

She helped look after whitekit, snowfur later telling her it was easier to leave knowing he had her. She lost so much in her life and tried her best to make things right and ok. She has a prophecy hanging over her constantly, goosefeather making her aware of this constantly.

The prophecy also COULD allow room for kits. Tawnyspots wasnt dying for a while. She couldve raised her kits (maybe with thrushpelt if she had been told she could have kits or with oakheart if they had met earlier in the book) early on. Even if it was earlier but still ‘too late’ she couldve gotten them grown to be weaned and still be deputy. Squilf had kits WHILE being deputy so why couldnt bluefur?

Even still, without that interjection, she gave up her kits to save her clan and them from eventually being under thistleclaws rule. She even lost more through that sacrifice. Not only could she not raise her kits, she lost mosskit on the journey to sunningrocks. That mustve haunted her for her entire leadership. But it was at least eased during her lives ceremony when mosskit let her know it was okay with no hatred in her eyes.

Later on, in the first arc, she does get worse. Losing faith in starclan and her own clan. She takes it own on poor brightpaw naming her ‘lostface’. She calls her clanmates traitors. Her actions honestly have no excuse and i cant see and justification anyone could come up with.

Bluestar isnt perfect. No one is. You can like her, i DO like her. Just like for any media, you can like it while still seeing the flaws and criticizing it. You can like characters who do bad things while not condoning those bad things. I also like mapleshade!

I have a lot of feelings about bluestar and cant write them all here so onto my boy

Gray Wing

Hes amazing. I love him dearly.

Hes gone through a lot as well but doesnt let his bad experiences control his actions. He loved storm, she took clear sky as a mate, he rejected her and thunder, and gray wing took care of thunder. He never hated thunder for wanting to be with clear sky too. He took care of turtle tails kits as if they were his own. He would risk his life for her and the kits. He moved on from her because she wanted him to be happy, and gray wing knew he should and deserved to be happy too. He protected those kits with his life as well. He died happy, reassuring his kits as he died.

He loved clear sky, even when clear sky was a complete jerk to everyone. He helped starflower and clear skys kits without expecting anything. He knew it was right and went ahead and helped. Even when starflower betrayed them all earlier.

He was unintentionally smothering because he wanted thunder and jagged peak to be happy. When his faults were pointed out, he apologized and gave them the space they needed.

When pebble heart was getting visions, he comforted him, letting him know it was ok and letting pebble heart tell him about them. He tried to be a good leader for his friends when tall shadow was taking care of moon shadow. He knew he didnt want to be a leader, and wasnt ready but he tried.

Hes changed camps so many times but finally could be comfortable with wind runners cats. He was sad, but completely okay with his kits (turtlr tails) joining different groups because he wanted them to be happy as well.

Gray wing is my definition of a good cat. He took care of so many, loved those that sometimes hated him, went after jagged peak to let quiet rain know her sons were gonna be ok and rest easy while in the mountains. Hes made so many sacrifices and been through so much pain, but was able to live happily and die in peace with those who loved him.

Adoption needs to be more normalized in wc. Holly jay and lion shouldve been grateful to squilf for raising them, just as turtle tails kits were grateful to gray wing for raising and being there for them.

Gray wing is a big fav of mine

#warrior cats #bluestar #gray wing #dawn of the clans spoilers #bluestars prophecy spoilers

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lettersfromkokichiouma · 2 years

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ehehehe hEYyyyyy Kokichiii~~~ I, 🍬 anon have returned!!

ik i sent in an ask not too long ago but likE-

i lowkey needa vent rn and srry if this ends up long as hell lmao (feel free to answer this whenevr you want mod no pressure <3 )

just for some context, a few months or so ago (i have no clue lol) i realized that im a trans demiguy instead of being genderfluid because i realized i was forcing myself to accept she/her pronouns cause i didnt wanna be an inconvience to people but i still liked really feminine stuff which is why i thought i was genderfluid at first, but i just needed some time to really think about it yk? also in case you wanna know my pronouns are he/him or they/them <3

aNyWaY sooo a few days ago i bought a chest binder on amazon and not even a day after it arrived, my parents sat me down and asked me why i bought it behind their backs. cause i never told them i bought it in the first place. they ended up practically forcing me to come out to them because there was no other way i couldve gotten out of the situation, and the reactions i got wheerrreeee mixed to say the least. it could've been much worse, but it felt like it couldve gone so muhc better. my mom started crying and said that she'll accept me no matter "whether you have short hair, long hair, or whatever you wear" which like.... lowkey feels transphobic to me??? like being trans (in my opinion) is hardly ever about what you wear or what you look like, wear whatever the hell you want whether its feminine or masc or whatever. all that matters is what your comfortable with yourself yk? it just kinda feels like she has this incredibly shallow understanding of what being trans is and doesnt even want to try to learn more about it. she was also more concerned about the fact that i didnt tell them before hand which in my opinion isnt something i have to do. just because i didnt come to them about it doesnt mean i dont trust them. she said that she doesnt think she'll be able to use my preferred name and pronouns too soo thAnKs mOm. my dad on the other hand was much more understanding, but still said stuff like "your young" and "your feeling lots of different emotions right now" and my mom said similar things as well. bUUuUut it kinda gets a bit worse... the day after all of this happened, for the entire day, my mom completely ignored me, not even bothering to look me in the eye or even speak to me. while she and my younger brother had a full conversation about his day when i got back from school, she never said a word to me. she didnt even talk to me for the rest of the day until recently where she said "good night". IS THAT IT- its honestly like she doesn't care that she practically ghosted me the entire day. id probably understand if she had a rough day and didnt feel like talking, but she was just fine talking to my brother, so now im wondering if she's transphobic. and ignoring someone let alone her own kid the whole day is something thats really really not like her usual self, so yeah. tbh, i had a gut feeling that she had at the very least internalized transphobia, so now i really wish that i had gotten to test the waters first but instead i was flung straight into the deep end of the pool. metaphorically. although, im not completely sure how this will all play out... in the meantime though, thank you so much for listening kokichi~~ <333 can i have some comfort cuddles please? 👉👈

*covers your face in kisses and cuddles you softly*

“wellll first of all, im super glad you figured that out about yourself!

congratulations! im really proud of you!

...but im sorry your parents didn’t have a good reaction.

if my child came out as trans, i’d throw them a party and buy them anything they want! buuut some parents aren’t like that....

sometimes they do accept you but they’re just reallllyyy bad at understanding what’s going on.

orrrrrr they’re transphobic which is totally awful! i don’t tolerate those types of people!

and you shouldn’t either! you shouldn’t have to deal with dumb people like that or dumb things like transphobia!

you are who you are! and i think you’re amazing!

the easiest thing to give people is respect y’know? and it’s soooo dumb that they can’t give you that right away!

...you’re valid, whether or not they choose to respect you though!

that’s the most important thing to remember! no one can hurt you if you know how incredibly amazing you are y’know?

and im not lying about that. i think you know me enough by now to know i don’t lie about stuff like that!!

and yup! of course i’ll give you comfort cuddles!

*opens arms*

you deserve them after all.”

-Kokichi Ouma

#(me when im trans-)#(and sorry this is so late!!! i know you said no pressure but you deserve a quicker response!!)#(and i completely get it i think my parents might be the same way when i come out)#(but our gender identities are valid no matter what anyone says. it’s our identity not theirs :))#kokichi oma #kokichi ouma

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skeetlehand · 3 years

Text

ghost!tommy au masterpost #2

ghost tommy au masterpost part one

I made another one. w hhh

au summary: tommy loses his final canon life during the explosion right after the pogtopia vs. manberg war

Nobody really knew where he’d gone either - Tommy had allegedly gone “missing” after the festival. In L’manberg, everyone figured that while it was odd, since tommy would usually be running down the Prime path shouting, or just being generally loud and annoying... he was just... missing. Nobody had seen him all week, but everyone had thought they were the singular individual who hadn’t seen him lately. Eventually when one of them asked where he’d been, everyone came to the consensus that they weren’t the only ones who hadn’t seen him. At first, they thought he was just grieving, since he spent the most time with wilbur. But then ghostbur shows up, which, while was a pretty sad/happy moment, it raised some sort of unease....

.... and then, ghost tommy shows up.

I put more details under the cut!!! enjoy pain yall

feel free to send asks about... well, anything! if you found something interesting here, share it! if you’ve got a completely unrelated idea, share it! i like to read your asks. I promise i’ll answer... eventually... (the five asks in my inbox @ me: 👀)

courtesy of @gheysnakelady and their great ideas 👀❤️(you have so many good ones!!!)

current table of contents:

ghost tommy’s appearance

relationships with the rest of the sbi

ghost tommy’s memories

other ghost tommy stuff (misc i guess)

a) presence

b) connections

c) blue/yellow

d) body found

”””pranks”””

dreamon hunters...? (become basically bootleg ghostbusters. but just only one of them.)

TBC: to be touched upon in the next masterpost/page set

relationships with the rest of the smp

a) SAM SAM SAM BIG BROTHER SAM AAA; b) the cabinet + lmanberg... hhh tubbo n big q,,, fundy and niki,,, dream,, the badlands... i need ideAS

reactions to the reveal (at some point... big oof)

.... a revival? phil no -

1. Ghost!Tommy’s Appearance

(should... should I be calling him ghostinnit now? yall use that term a whole lot...)

before he meets anyone (excluding ghostbur and maybe philza. some others might’ve seen him lingering around certain places, faintly), he looked simultaneously exactly as he did before he died, overlaid by his prior deaths (an sword/axe(?) to the back when trying to escape dream during eret’s betrayal, an arrow wound that goes in deep, and currently, visible blast marks and the wither effect). He hadn’t figured out what he looked like yet, other than the noticeable vision problems, but when he did, he did his best to change his form (it’s my current theory that ghosts look like what they want to look like - ie. ghostbur’s nice yellow sweater being a choice on his end). It’s an effort, to look “okay”, and when he goes off the rails, there are hints to what he looks like.

it’s mostly because... Tommy remembers his death vicariously. All of them. This is not a good thing.

when he does meet people, his form is slightly transparent, but he looks almost normal. there’s that new hairstyle, which really isn’t a stylistic choice on my end ;’] ... there is a lot of sooty(?) grey patches on his sleeves, and a large black mark smack dab in the middle his shirt. The wither markings on his hands aren’t clear, but that they are there is visible. He hates the wither effects the most - no matter what he does, how hard he concentrates, they. don’t. go. away.

He’s got hair over his eye, like wilbur. Gets uncomfortable when it’s joked about, because that’s a part of his face that’s.... yknow.... and he can’t hide it otherwise

Since ghost!tommy is more emotionally gripped than ghostbur is, unable to let go of the past and all the memories + emotions from it (while ghostbur lets go of it Very Easily), his form shifts a lot. Not only to his “death form” (all of his canon deaths on one ‘current’ form), but to that of the different arcs - dirty long sleeves for pogtopia (it’s cold in the ravines, and he don’t got a coat), ripped revolutionary outfit (eret’s betrayal and the arrow both happened here)... and during his more mellower moments, a green bandana that goes around the neck. He’s constantly changing in clarity, too. It’s hard to focus on him at times.

2. Relationships with the SBI found family gang: pain

did you really think we could have nice things in this au? if so... ouch

Phil

tommy did see him sort of as a dad/some sort of older figure to come to for help. but phil has a history of not exactly being a Dad. sure, he basically adopted techno, and wilbur definitely saw him as a dad, but for tommy, it’s an unspoken relationship that they should be like that, that phil should have his back, that tommy can ask phil for help. yet, they don’t. Phil showed up way too late in the game to make an effort on all of the impacts the wars and pogtopia and wilbur have created, and maybe tommy resents him a little, for leaving him and his brothers alone on the server. maybe tommy saw wilbur die by philza’s hands, moments before he did the same point is, tommy was never a “difficult child” persay, he made all of his complaints loud and clear. philza didn’t expect to do any “underneath the underneath” with him... and didn’t feel like tommy needed the attention all that much, since he could basically occupy himself.

Think of it like this, at least in my au, that phil was never meant to be a dad. He just chose to be some sort of strong figure in the boys’ lives (found family!!!!) - but he was a survivor first and foremost, and sometimes it shows. His habits rubbed off on his boys, and that shows too - him avoiding talking about Big Things with ghost tommy is reminiscent of how ghostbur dances around questions, and being pressured into doing things is reminiscent of techno.

Tommy, on the other hand, felt as if phil always favored techno, and if not techno, then wilbur, over him. it’s okay though! he doesn’t need phil, he’s a Big Man™! Look at him... dealing with... a war... exile... funky brother problems... more war... okay maybe if phil showed up sooner things would’ve been better but he didn’t so tommy had to be the bigger man! that’s... that’s okay...? hmm. okay maybe he’s mad at phil a little bit,,,,

techno

ahh, complicated relationships *rubs hands*.

tommy was proud of his brother, at first, the way only little brothers can be, bragging about their cooler bigger bro - that, and tommy lowkey thought there’d be someone to help him with wilbur’s decline. haha NOPE. techno don’t do emotional. thanks,,,,,

on the other hand, all ghost tommy can remember is techno being the unspoken favorite, the favorite child, the favorite brother, teasing and feelings of inadequacy (techno wasn’t a bad brother, though... just... better). And then…he remembers techno showing up well into wilbur’s long decline, techno’s silence when he could’ve used someone to speak up for him, techno’s passiveness towards the paranoia, techno’s stoicism when all tommy wanted was someone to be strong, someone else to be the better man. instead, the job was left to him. why was it always left to him? he wasn’t supposed to do all of this, right?

Techno doesn’t feel all too bad about it, before tommy’s death is discovered. He thinks that the impact of the statement was made through humiliation and violence enough (tommy being pinned down, the hero speech, the ruined victory, etc). What did tommy expect, using the Blade like that? honestly, techno’s a little offended, that tommy thought he could use his brother that easily, like some weapon made of more skill than any of them know what to do with. Techno had made his opinions very clear on government, and then they go on to appoint another one? (even though, it was sort of clear that the goal was to “go back” to the old lmanberg, government and all) so tommy kinda had it coming. besides, he’d respawn and they’d go back to normal.

but then wilbur dies, permanently, and techno has to watch his brother come undone into something else barely reminiscent of what he was momnents ago... ghostbur barely even resembles the wilbur techno used to remember. death matters, on this server, which is two blows in themselves that techno will have to deal with. and then... tommy doesn’t respawn.

techno was sure he’d seen tommy around lmanberg. albeit, like, kinda quiet, but maybe the kid was going through rough times since wilbur died. it wasn’t like techno was going to talk to him about it or anything, since his presence probably wouldn’t be welcomed anyway. tommy was kind of immature, in that regard - he’d be really annoying and yell, like he always did when something didn’t go his way. that, and he wasn’t exactly welcome in lmanberg anymore...

besides, if tommy had a problem, he’d make it clear himself, right?

wilbur/ghostbur

There’s a lot tommy isn’t willing to talk, about wilbur. What could he even say? more than half of the things he did, challenges he stepped up to, were to make Wilbur proud (as he remembered him). He hated losing, because he liked winning more, sure, but also because he wanted to make wilbur proud of him. See: the bow duel, giving up his disc for freedom.

but pogtopia wilbur, well... things only got worse. sometimes, things looked a little better, but over time, tommy learned to expect what came after. even with techno there, tommy was always left to be the “bigger man” - in the aftermath of the festival, the pit, the final pet war - no matter how much he lost, it was always him having to move forward from that point. nobody really helped. it was just tommy and wilbur, and the sound of silence in the ravine.

tommy saw the final explosion of lmanberg as both the ultimate betrayal (the worst thing wilbur could’ve done, couldn’t he have waited, phil was here, surely phil couldve done what tommy spent months trying to do, what techno wouldn’t do, why couldn’t wilbur have this?) but at the same time, he... figured wilbur would pull sometime like this. at this point, the victory might’ve lightened his spirits a whole lot, but he spent months with wilbur alone and in the course of the preparatory week, wilbur didn’t miraculously get better. tommy wishes he did, and he can wish all he wants, but deep down, he knows that he didn’t. the others might’ve not noticed, since they weren’t there for that long.

as for ghostbur, it’s... awkward.

With ghostbur, he’s stuck between wanting to reach out to his big brother and stay away due to alivebur’s memory living in constant loop in his head. Sad as it is to say, he was sort of… relieved, when ghostbur revealed the extent of his memory loss. after that point.. if ghostbur remembers all the happy bits of their time on the server, surely he could help fill in the gaps?

Ghostbur was kind of the first person he saw when he resurfaced, and ghostbur then couldn’t really understand the gravity of the situation, nor who tommy was because of how he acted and looked before. tommy didn’t approach him either, mostly out of fear and anticipation. (he couldn’t imagine this of all things, being stuck with wilbur for all of his undying days, hadn’t he had enough?)

At first, it’s awkward. He doesn’t know what to say, or when to say things, and he’s a lot quieter than in life, so it’s noticeable. He meets Ghostbur, who greets him with joy, until he realizes that Tommy is dead. Memories of the manberg v pogtopia war arise, and he flees. He does not come back, because looking at Tommy hurts. tommy doesn’t get it, really... but.....

and every moment after that, the way ghostbur looks at him, with the guilt in his eyes, the way that he looks away, unable to bear looking anymore… well, tommy is starting to think ghostbur remembers a lot more than what he’s willing to let on (he’s afraid he is). If wilbur doesn’t like him, that’s not… that’s nothing new, anyway. it’s probably one of the few things that didn’t change.

3. Ghost Tommy’s Memories

Going by the HC that they’re caused by how you feel when you die. ie. Wilbur dies happy because he is relieved by Phil stabbing him. That he can rest, while Tommy gets the opposite. Wanting to live but having it so cruelly taken by a loved one that you trusted, only feeling pain and betrayal and the feelings when they had while dying is the reason why they only hold certain memories.

Basically: like Wilbur, only remembers memories associated with a type of feeling. However, unlike Wilbur, Tommy only remembers the bad things.

Ghostbur suggested to phil, who in turn, suggested to tommy that he recorded his memories in a book, like he did! thus, tommy’s “What I remember” book: which is full of stuff he just wants to remember

Dream Good Times (this is just a lie, haha... but refers to the time (read: blank space) before the first disk war)

jokes! (when you make fun of someone, even in good jest, it’s possible they won’t take it that way themselves.)

My home (because it’s been griefed and destroyed so many times at this point)

The disks (not what they sound like though, just that they were apparently important, that he fought for them. he can’t remember what they sound like)

My pets (pet wars. can’t remember whose pet was whose. he remembers mars, though. he talked to mars a lot, on days that pogtopia was quiet... empty...)

the duel

Winning the war (trading the disks for freedom)

L’manberg (manberg)

… Tubbo (? ...dying at the festival.)

Techno & Wilbur (and phil, and what they did to him, and what they didn’t do.)

pogtopia hanging out with friends (there was nothing good about pogtopia, so he crossed it off and wrote the most blandest happy thing he could replace it with. he wishes pogtopia was just that)

the pit

winning the war (the victory, the explosion his death. if you ask why he wrote it twice, he just.. hesitates. “we won, right?” you might nod along, assuming his memory was just being faulty, that all he could remember were the two victories, that like wilbur, nothing beyond the election/exile registered... but you could also note that neither of those “victories” really felt like winning, in the end. consider the cost...)

i have a secret second list for his “actual memories”. i call it “the list of grievances”. i am so clever haha

4. other ghost tommy stuff

since ghostbur had to go and add some stuff to ghost Lore™, i guess ghost tommy now melts in the rain and snow. not that he really... cares...

other things! these are ideas, idk...

1. presence

maybe whenever he gets near someone, the temperature drops and people feel overwhelmingly negative emotions (ie. sadness, pain, anger, guilt, etc). the intensity of the sadness effect depends on the person or if the person is near - the more that person had done, the more they felt.

Wilbur just feels like melancholy. nobody really notices, since it’s .... well.

2. connections to things?

maybe he’ll be found at certain locations, like his house/jukebox, the election podium, pogtopia, etc, etc... just, ghosting...

4. maybe he’s not actually dead

3. have some blue .... or yellow

either:

a) ghostbur gives tommy some blue to hand out, trying to be nicer to him anyway, like “give people this, it makes people happier if you give them something to drain the sadness”!! but when tommy tries to hand it out, it’s already fully blue. If asked if it was supposed to be transparent, or why it’s already blue, or etc, he responds with “no it's always been blue for me!” because when he’s given it, it turns blue instantly. maybe he seems little sad it doesn’t work on him, but it must be because he’s a ghost, right?

b) maybe he makes yellow that gives people happiness (it turns transparent as it’s used), but when he holds it it stays yellow.... because really all it does is draw up previous feelings of contentment, but... can't feel happy if you've never felt it before :’]

4. his body discovery

his body can be found where it was last... left. since he didn’t respawn.

They find him while cleaning up the rest of the rubble. and it's evident how he died, because there are wither marks, explosion burns, and... a final injury that must’ve been the killing blow, since there’s no way he would’ve survived that. it's evident he suffered, but not from the killing blow. his face has that... expression. he looks as miserable as his ghost does, at times (contrary to wilbur's exact opposite). maybe techno is there. they're not sure if tommy just got caught in the crossfire. they think he did, because he was buried under all of this. who would have ... intentionally done this to him...? while he was trapped?

maybe techno approaches to see what everyone looks so wicked out by. and he sees his brother or more like, what was left of his brother. oof.

5. Pranks: completely out of chronological order i guess... BUT I WANTED TO INCLUDE IT AAA

tommy isn’t... peaceful. he’s not at peace. he’s surrounded by the people who he can remember taunting him, hurting him, betraying him, all he can remember feeling is anger, grief and resentment - how long do you think he’ll play nice for? even though he wants things to go back to normal, either he feels like he’s much too dead for anything to ever be the same, and/or everyone ... moved on pretty quick, huh.

tommy begins to prank the server, like he used to. but there’s a pattern to it, and it quickly devolves from seemingly light-hearted to borderline malicious and definitely inconveniencing/annoying.

ghost tommy filling dream's current base/go-to-residency (since this man canonically homeless) with clay... and then, later, other blocks, like tnt, obsidian...

he sets up multiple jukeboxes when dream goes to sleep and have them all play cat/melohi at different intervals at once, kind of like. "you wanted this so bad, now eat it”.

misplace sapnap's current pets (if he has any). fill sapnap's house with horses, cows all named "h" names, and eventually turn it into an elaborate aquarium filled with tropical fish.

George’s house gets scrambled: like the blocks all get swapped and stuff, or replaced with lime wool/clay. maybe fill his house with alarm clocks or something? idk

He's hesitant about techno... so one of his earlier steps is: collaborate with sam with the horse maze (who sees it as a bonding activity! fun for the whole family!), but in the books, on the last page of all the books, he writes notes like "you know what you did" and stuff idk, i gotta come up with 8 of those. at the end, skeppy brings back the books and the hornse and techno's like haha i didn't write those books! and skeppy says, that makes sense! why would your write this... (he assumes the first few are threats, but then they reference techno in diff ways, so he gets confused), and then techno's like: wait what

maybe he probably releases all the horses n cows and other things techno’s got. or relocates them (cause he still cares about animals, he doesn't want to hurt them... he's not sapnap after all)

at first it's funny, normal. then it's annoying. and then it becomes worrying. it elevates in destructive tendencies, and also escalates in amount so people start going "tommy this is so annoying"-> exactly the reaction he wants, so he continues -> "this isn't funny anymore, tommy!" well, it never was supposed to be :)

....and they realize suddenly that none of it was meant to be a "prank" or a joke, tommy genuinely was trying to make their lives as hard as they did him.

ALSO EDIT: i bring you: dreamon hunters! part two! tubbo n fundy fight over what to do with ghost tommy, as tubbo doesn't think there's anything wrong with tommy (it’s his best friend, of course nothing’s wrong!), while fundy thinks he's a malicious poltergeist (with all the pranks.... that’s... that’s not tommy. tommy isn’t that spiteful... is he? )

#dream smp #dream smp au #ghost!tommy au #ghost!tommy au masterpost #2/?#warning: this is a LOOOOONG post #h #tw death #tw death mention

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