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unhelpfulfemme · 6 months

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Damen's also a victim of gaslighting if you think about it, and it explains so many things about him.

Kastor seems to have taken care of him a lot while he was growing up (based on the amount of childhood memories that Damen has with him) and Kastor also fucking hated him. A child in that situation will sort of self-gaslight, they'll convince themselves that they don't see what they do so they can maintain a fundamental sense of safety despite their objectively unsafe environment. The end result is exactly what Damen is - someone who's pretty bad at telling apart those who love him from those who mean him harm.

If Kastor treats him like shit - Kastor fucking stabbed the barely teen-aged heir to the throne in the guts, mind - that's because Kastor is treating him like a man, he's giving him tough love and not coddling him because a prince doesn't need coddling, he needs tempering and seasoning instead. Damen is lucky to have a brother who'll stab him in the guts so he can become a better man and ruler, unlike those arrogant, spoiled other princes who get *checks notes* affectionate relatives.

And if Kastor is treating him like a man that's because Damen's earned it - Damen has a particular fixation about "earning it", whatever "it" is in a particular situation, because the main issue of contention between him and Kastor is that Damen gets the throne by default, regardless of who deserves it more, and therefore (in Kastor's view) Damen is a Bad Person who's screwing him over by his very existence. Damen's answer to this is to make sure that he works hard and is the best at everything (and working hard for things is actually a genuinely good value to have, mind), because this way he DID earn it, he DOES deserve it more, the better man has the throne, so peace on planet Earth, right? But he doesn't understand how this just further humiliates and angers Kastor, who then vengefully retaliates, the truth of which Damen, who loves Kastor and seeks his approval, can't handle emotionally, necessitating the "this is tough love, because I'm a strong man" mental defense.

I think this is interesting because it really spills over into Damen's incorrect conclusions about Laurent, sometimes in kinda embarrassingly stupid ways - because Veretians are Bad and being a spoiled cunt who's never had to work hard for anything is also Bad (in a very visceral way, because it's what Damen is desperately trying to avoid being), the Veretian prince must be both, concludes Damen after a 0.5 second glance at Laurent's resting bitch face. "A prince doesn't need to be coddled, he needs to be seasoned," says Damen to Paschal about Laurent, even though he's only in the position to have this conversation in the first place because Laurent's entire family died by the time he was 13 and he is currently being hunted down like a dog by his only remaining relative.

I also think that this is the foundation on which Damen's attitudes about slavery are able to change and develop - if his idea of someone deserving something is based in whether he's earned it (as opposed to birthright), becoming a slave is an easy way to disprove his current worldview about how much "earning it" matters in a fundamentally unjust society: first of all, Damen can't earn anything if Laurent doesn't allow him the opportunity to. Once Laurent does allow it, no matter how competent Damen shows himself to be, no matter how much Laurent treats him as an equal, no matter how much Damen earns Laurent's respect, this is all still happening at Laurent's whim and Laurent can turn around and treat Damen like a servant again, praise his military prowess with one breath and threaten him with a whipping with the next, and there's very little Damen can do about it. Damen goes from a privileged man's idea of meritocracy (I worked hard for it so I deserve it) to a more 360 degree one (some people can never have what I have no matter how hard they work, because I am fundamentally privileged).

Finally, it's really obvious that Damen also loves working for it in his romantic relationships, which probably stems from the same roots as all of the above, but it's a particularly interesting framework for drawing parallels between Laurent and the rest of Damen's life. Not only is Laurent the undisputed champion of Being Hard to Get, Laurent also hates Damen because Damen unthinkingly took something precious away from him (just like someone else!), and Laurent is also very punishing towards Damen over it (just like someone else!). But this time, Damen is actually capable of earning Laurent's respect (because facts will always take precedence over pettiness for hyperrational Laurent), and then his love, because Laurent is willing to see Damen as a person with feelings- as a man who loves him and cares about pleasing him - and not just as his role in the tragedy of Laurent's life.

I just think it's interesting to think about, is all, because I feel like the knee-jerk instinct is to analyze Laurent's more overt fuckedupness while not thinking about how Damen needs to also be kinda fucked up to find the thornbush pleasing to the extent that he does.

#captive prince #damianos of akielos #these books had such a visceral grasp on me that for a while I didn't trust myself to engage with other people's opinions on them #but now I am slowly easing into it and sometimes I see the usual reaction that you typically get in competence-porn-driven stories #where a character acting in stupid ways because of emotional hangups is #Bad Characterization #and I just felt like writing this I dunno hope someone finds it useful

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years

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The thing about assigned sex labels (AFAB/AMAB) is that a lot of its usefulness comes from discussions around medicine (though there are still issues with this). In a social sense, AFAB/AMAB isn't very useful to describe peoples' lived experience.

Assigned sex happens to people as babies, and "AFAB" and "AMAB" describe very broadly sex categories. Assigned sex acknowledges past assignment, not current reality with regards to one's sex and/or gender.

I find that when people try to apply sex assignment to social settings (e.g., "all AFABs experience this!"), it comes very close not only to misgendering, but also to sex essentialism in many cases.

I simply think there are too many assumptions made about what every person AMAB has (such as a certain body, a certain gender, and certain lived experiences) and what every person AFAB has. We cannot make sweeping generalizations about people, and I think a lot of people seem to forget this especially with regards to transition and/or "rare" sexes.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #all this to say that i don't really like how people slap afab and amab around for social things #like it comes across (to me) like just saying 'women' and 'men' but as an acronym instead...#...and you can see why i don't like that as a trans person i hope...#...i also don't think it is my responsibility to tell y'all my sex or what my sex entails as a trans person...#...(it also bothers me when people say 'afabs' and 'amabs' like idk)#the only people who theoretically NEED to know your sex are certain doctors (like a gp for example) or a partner you are with #i don't think the general public is entitled to your private information - including your sex/transition status/anything else #you are NOT required to tell people if you're transitioning or if you're a trans man or trans woman or literally ANYTHING #in fact that information can put you in danger ESPECIALLY if you have other identities (e.g. being Black/disabled/queer/ect)#i'm sorry if this sounds disjointed ummmmm i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about this and it's sometimes hard to get that across well

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thormanick · 1 month

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All the Kavetham/Haikaveh ideas I don't have capacity to currently write, a very detailed list:

(Which I am humbly placing here before you. Be warned: this post is an incredibly long one!)

1. Fatui!Kaveh AU, where the night before the meeting happens between Kaveh and Alhaitham at the tavern, Kaveh gets a deal from Fatui representatives to work on a huge project in Snezhnaya. Kaveh is sceptical about it, but decides to accept the offer during the dialogue with Alhaitham (seeing himself as a burden, Kaveh decides that he will cause more trouble to Alhaitham than the Fatui, thus he decides to accept their offer even if it seems too good to be true). He tells Alhaitham about his decision to leave for Snezhnaya, and so the two relatively amicably/peacefully part their ways (not without Alhaitham testing Kaveh's reasoning a bit, but Kaveh's resolve remains strong).

And so, Kaveh leaves for Snezhnaya, where he gets to work on several huge projects for the next several years under Sandrone. Most of them are related to construction, engineering and reverse-engineering of Khaenri'ahn and Khaenri'ah-inspired technology, and he gets barely any time to work on his personal projects (he's overworked and exhausted and doesn't get much time and opportunity to be creative; however, the payments are good and he's on his way to getting out of debt, which is practically the sole reason driving him forward. The projects get progressively more complicated and, in a way, unhinged - engineering military equipment is alright, but working with the remains of Khaenri'ahn technology, dead gods and such proves to be... mentally taxing. Everything happens very gradually though, so Kaveh does not immediately notice the true scale of where the Fatui are ready to go to achieve certain goals). Kaveh doesn't really like the work environment of the Fatui, but he does his best (the Harbingers creep him out whenever he gets to see them on a rare official occasion (he might specifically dislike Pantalone because the Harbinger keeps picking at him for his debt, given a chance), but Sandrone's a decent boss who is somewhat encouraging and invested in his work and personal projects. She might be especially interested in Mehrak's existence and operation). Overall, everything goes quite smoothly for Kaveh, even if he doesn't feel quite at home in Snezhnaya and is aware of how dangerous the Fatui can be. He does not consider himself to be paranoid, but the other shoe has to drop at some point - and that happens when the new Acting Grand Sage of Sumeru gets to visit Snezhnaya on a diplomatic mission (aka: Kaveh reconnects with Alhaitham & Co for the first time in what feels like forever). The situation gets complicated when Kaveh realizes that Sandrone encourages the reestablishment of his connection with Alhaitham specifically - and she never encourages an action if she doesn't directly contribute from it.

Feelings, emotions and shenanigans ensue.

TLDR: Kaveh's doing his best despite being restricted in his ways of work, prevented from realizing most of his creative projects and slowly but surely building emotional walls around himself because Fatui and Snezhnaya; Sandrone being a kind of decent boss with sorta good work ethic but horrendous morals who is not exactly a good influence on Kaveh's idealistic tendencies and guilt complex; Fatui being contextually horrifying but kinda normal coworkers if you don't look at them too close; Alhaitham trying his best as a political figure (Nahida help him) while also trying to get Kaveh to return home with him (because he misses him); the main conflict revolving around Kaveh and his life choices with Sandrone and Alhaitham being kind of foils to each other (with Sandrone gradually destroying Kaveh's idealistic morals and playing on his guilt to get the most out of his potential as an innovator, and with Alhaitham actively trying to resolve Kaveh's guilt and show him that, despite their arguments, Kaveh's idealism still has place in the world and can co-exist with other philosophies). There might or might not be some macguffin-esque Deshret relic that both Akademia and Fatui hunt for that eventually brings the whole crew back to Sumeru. Kaveh might or might not get a chance to meet a fragment of Deshret's spirit within the mentioned relic. But there definitely will be a happy end for everyone here (Deshret will make sure of it).

2. Calamity!AU. The new Cataclysm comes, enveloping all Seven Nations, and so Sumeru does its best to survive. The cities are ruined, and the people gather together in random places to survive. Alhaitham gets to live within one of the settlements, established by the Akademiya. While trying to survive the first wave of the new Calamity, he is also looking for Kaveh; after an argument between the two the architect left for an expedition to the Desert, right before the new Calamity began. Unfortunately, the news comes that his group should have been around Tunigi Hollow - one of the spots in Sumeru where the first wave of the new Calamity hit the hardest. There is no concrete information on whether Kaveh's group survived or not. Alhaitham, not loosing hope, does his best to find any information on Kaveh's whereabouts, but due to Sumeru becoming extremely dangerous to traverse and disjointed as a result of the new Calamity, the search stretches out for almost a decade.

One day Alhaitham helps a caravan, traversing the forests to get to one of the settlements, to fight off the monsters. Unexpectedly, Kaveh turns out to be one of the members of the caravan. Their reunion is almost cut short by the caravan's need to keep going, but Alhaitham convinces Kaveh to join him instead. The two return to the new Sumeru city settlement, where Alhaitham lives and works under the watch of Akademiya and Lord Kusanali. It appears that during his years of travels around the destroyed Sumeru Kaveh learned new ways of architectural construction that would be more efficient against the monsters, born by the Calamity. He also seems to behave quite differently, hardened by the experiences of the past years. Alhaitham proposes for Kaveh to stay with him in the city, and Kaveh accepts. The feelings, new routines, dealings with the changed versions of each other and attempts to find new pace of life in the new world ensue.

TLDR: The world might be ending and impossible to live in, but even so each new day is brighter when the person one loves is by their side.

3. Another Cataclysm!AU, where Kaveh and Alhaitham get assigned separate missions in the grander scheme of things created to prevent the coming of a new Calamity. The plan succeeds and the world remains safe, but not without heavy losses: amongst many others, Kaveh does not survive while carrying out his mission.

Decades pass as Alhaitham goes through his grieving process. Eventually, one evening on the anniversary of the Calamity's prevention, Alhaitham wanders to a place he and Kaveh used to visit together. A Ley Line disruption occurs, and he gets to see a glimpse of Kaveh through it. They have a conversation; the Ley Line apparition (a memory of Kaveh) is convinced that Alhaitham is from the future, and so they talk a lot about the Calamity, whether it was prevented, and about each other's futures. Alhaitham can't bring himself to tell Kaveh that he does not survive the Calamity, but he does tell Kaveh that his architectural legacy lives on. Kaveh commends Alhaitham on his achievements (though not an acting grand sage for a very long time, Alhaitham kept playing an important role throughout Sumeru's history, helping to keep it safe).

Eventually, their time runs out. Ley Line disorder starts gradually disappearing. Alhaitham urges Kaveh to be careful and stay safe, knowing that the Calamity (on Kaveh's side) is yet to come. Kaveh laughs and tells him that on his side, Alhaitham just told him the same words after they finished the debriefing session, related to the Calamity. He says that he was feeling very nervous, but that seeing future-Alhaitham made him convinced that they are on the right path.

And so, the Ley Line disorder disappears. Alhaitham spends some more time at the spot before returning home. Despite painful memories having been brought up, his heart feels a bit lighter.

TLDR: closure comes unexpectedly, takes many forms and does not erase the pain in an instant, but, nevertheless, it heals.

4. AU! where Kaveh and Alhaitham are both magical birds that can transform into humans (and half-humans).

They live together in the depths of Sumeru forest - a domain of a long lost God of Wisdom. Kaveh's feathers are rumoured to bring blessings, while Alhaitham's feathers, on the contrary, are said to bring bad luck or even curses. Humans, living at the edge of magical forest, kinda worship them, but also prefer not to interact with them, primarily because Alhaitham is not happy when others trespass on his lands, and because searching for Kaveh is extremely hard (he's often off working on his projects deep within the forest), and the magical forest is very dangerous on its own. So, the humans build their cities outside of the Sumeru forest, and Alhaitham and Kaveh peacefully live together in the depths of it.

Despite Kaveh and Alhaitham living together for a long time, their opinions on humanity are diametrically opposed: Alhaitham barely tolerates humans, finding them to be reckless, meddling, cowardly and deceitful; Kaveh, on the contrary, finds humans to be creative, inspiring, free and beautiful in their own way. Throughout the years, Kaveh manages to build somewhat of an amicable relationship with the humans, living at the edge of the forest: he learns more about their traditions and arts, while the humans receive his guidance and blessings in various matters of living, craftsmanship and arts. Eventually, Kaveh's knowledge and magical powers catch the eye of Lord Sangemah Bay, who resides in and governs one of the bigger settlements at the forest's border. She makes a deal with Kaveh that, despite providing him with valuable (in his eyes) experience of working with humans on some of his grandest architectural projects, costs him a lot - meaning he has to give away lots of his blessed feathers, which makes his remaining magic much weaker (and generally undermines his health for a bit). Alhaitham is not a huge fan of such approach (in his eyes, Kaveh is wasting his powers and time for nothing, endangering himself), and so a conflict between him and Kaveh breaks. As a result, Kaveh flees their home, secluding himself while he's focusing on other projects he finds curious. Kaveh keeps working with humans, and though Alhaitham certainly keeps an eye on Kaveh's wellbeing, he does not make it easy for humans to reach him. So what if there are new random magical seals, obstacles, almost-traps and riddles appearing here and there when people try to get to Kaveh? It's a magical forest, things happen! (Kaveh knows that Alhaitham does this on purpose, and Alhaitham knows that Kaveh knows, and it leads to them indirectly, and then directly bickering and arguing. The magical forest quite possibly grows very tired of them. Their friends Tighnari and Cyno certainly do, but alas.)

The new equilibrium, found by Alhaitham and Kaveh, is challenged once more when Kaveh leaves to the Lord Sangemah Bay's city to direct yet another one of his grand projects. They do not see each other for a long while. Despite all the challenges, Kaveh's relationship with Dori gradually grows stronger - the two value their partnership - and Kaveh ends up making friends amongst humans. However, not everyone is happy about Lord Sangema Bay's growing friendship with the "deity of blessings" personified. As some people come to despise her for her wealth, influence and ever growing power, so do they come to despise the bird of paradise.

When the project is complete, the time for celebration comes. Kaveh gets to attend a feast by Dori's side as a guest of honour, and is invited to stay the night in her palace before returning to the forest. Kaveh agrees: he's been spending all his days and nights at the building site, and resting a night before returning home would be nice. As the night goes on, however, Kaveh begins to feel weary and unwell - the new type of wine he was served did him no good. He excuses himself early for the night and, as soon as he gets to his bed, he's out cold.

After an undetermined amount of time (in what appears to be the middle of the night), Kaveh wakes up because of immense pain in his back.

As he gradually comes to his senses, he has a horrible realization: one of his wings was cut off when he was asleep. Alerting the guards and Dori yields no results: the intruder escaped, presumably with Kaveh's wing, and there are no traces of them left. While Kaveh gets immediately attended to, he goes in shock and, eventually, loses consciousness.

When the messengers form the city arrive to the forest, Alhaitham receives them reluctantly at first, but as soon as he hears of what happened, he rushes to the city. He ends up taking Kaveh back to the forest, hoping that its healing magic will help restore his wing. However, nothing seems to work: neither spells, nor the powers of nature, not even Tighnari's medicine. Though the wound is slowly healing, Kaveh remains unconscious for days. To get more information on what happened, Alhaitham returns to the city to question Dori together with Cyno (who's also to continue the investigation within the city once Alhaitham returns home), while Tighnari stays with Kaveh.

Though the questioning concludes that Dori knows nothing and is willing to assist in the search of the perpetrator, Cyno concludes that she was not thorough enough in ensuring Kaveh's safety and overall security of the celebration in general, revealing that Dori recklessly cut corners here and there. Furious, Alhaitham leaves Dori his cursed feather, giving her an ultimatum: she has to find the perpetrator and give them to Alhaitham to deal the final punishment. Until then, her city is doomed to slowly crumble into decay and oblivion. Dori accepts the deal.

Alhaitham returns to the forest to look after Kaveh, while Cyno remains in the city to continue the search. When Alhaitham comes back, Kaveh is finally awake. However, he remains extremely closed-off, practically a shadow of himself. The recovery process is slow and challenging, but Alhaitham does his best to support Kaveh in all ways that matter. Kaveh struggles with healing: the loss of a wing affected not only his body, but also his mental state and magic. He cannot transform, he can barely use any of his magical skills, and he cannot fly anymore, which hurts him most of all. It takes a while for Kaveh to get on his feet (quite literally), even longer to finally leave his room. He also feels guilty for being in Alhaitham's care, because he remembers all of the Alhaitham warnings about the humans he didn't listen to, and so lots of internal conflict ensues.

Meanwhile Alhaitham does all he can to try and navigate the situation. He looks after Kaveh's healing process; brings back his blueprints and equipment from Kaveh's place so that he has enough to work with if he wishes; he also (to the best of his ability) remodels their home to make it more accessible to Kaveh. Given that their natural method of moving around their house was flying (whether in form of birds of half-humans), Alhaitham now implements more adjustments for walking or climbing. (When Kaveh feels good enough to leave his room, he's amazed by what Alhaitham managed to achieve. He also helps fix some of the constructions, given he's the one with the experience in architecture.) Alhaitham and Kaveh grow closer, slowly unpacking and mending their relationship, turning it into something new and beautiful.

At the same time, Alhaitham continues to watch the forest borders - to make sure that no intruders interrupt Kaveh's recovery and their peaceful life together. One day he notices an interesting sight: a small, but beautiful shrine appeared right by the forest. He decides to investigate; upon approaching the shrine, he meets Nilou (whom he saw in the palace when he visited Dori). She explains to him that, after he and Kaveh left the city, a group of people decided to organize a shrine, dedicated to Kaveh, to pray for his recovery. Nilou explains that in their eyes it's the least they can offer for all the help that their city received in the past and as amends for the pain they have caused. Alhaitham warns her not to get any closer to the forest, but the action of people leaves a lasting impression on him.

Meanwhile, Cyno's investigation progresses. Cyno writes to Alhaitham that together with Dori they managed to find and capture the perpetrator. Questioning reveals no useful information, but Cyno suspects that there might be more to the attack on Kaveh than they anticipated. To uphold his end of the deal Alhaitham goes to the city to deliver the punishment to the attacker and to undo the curse he put on Dori's city. Before he leaves, Kaveh, scared of what might happen to Alhaitham, sews into his cloak a blessed feather for protection (because Alhaitham wouldn't accept it outright). While Alhaitham is away, Kaveh begins working on a new project: a mechanical wing.

When Alhaitham gets to the city, he is led to the cell where the attacker is being held. Cyno and Dori are by his side for the final questioning. The man - a mere mortal (with strange red-ish eyes), one of Dori's citizens - keeps talking in circles, making less and less sense with each new word. Alhaitham lets Cyno and Dori go before rendering the punishment. When the curse (one of Alhaitham's darkest yet) is finally prepared, suddenly, the tables are turned. The perpetrator attacks Alhaitham, but his movements seem unnatural, almost like those of a puppet. Alhaitham realizes, that the man is being controlled by someone with prowess for strong, incredibly dark magic that seems similar to that of the Desert. The strange puppet manages to overpower Alhaitham in a fight, but cannot harm him (due to the protection from Kaveh's feather). The perpetrator manages to escape, taking with him Alhaitham's cursed feather (they seemed to be pleased to receive it. Alhaitham fears to think what they will use it for).

Dori and Cyno pick up the investigation, with Cyno going straight to the Desert. Dori begins reinforcing the city (her people discover that Alhaithams curse (now lifted) awakened Miasma deep under the ground. The Miasma begins to slowly spread, seemingly in the direction of the Sumeru Forest). Cyno sends back a message, confirming that strong and dark magic seems to be gathering within the Desert, possibly for the purpose of destroying the magical forest.

Alhaitham manages to get back to Kaveh and tell him of what happened in the city. In order to be able to protect the forest together with Alhaitham, Kaveh doubles down on his efforts to create a mechanical working wing. Everything works, besides the golden feathers - they need to be blessed in order to allow the mechanism to work as intended, but Kaveh does not have enough power for it. Alhaitham takes a risk and brings the feathers to the shrine, created by Nilou and other humans, so that they could bless them for Kaveh. (They are short of one feather eventually, and Alhaitham gives Kaveh one of his own, his first blessed feather, to complete the wing.)

TLDR: Kaveh works on restoring his wing and faith in himself and humanity; Alhaitham learns that humanity is not always evil. Dori and Cyno discover that the escaped perpetrator (caugh controlled by Dottore caugh) used Kaveh to get to Alhaitham to gain his cursed feather for completing some sort of ancient ritual to unseal the forbidden knowledge magic deep within the Desert in roder to unleash it on the magical forest, slumbering God of Wisdom and human cities. Kaveh learns to curse his feathers (while opposing Dottore in a final fight), and Alhaitham learns to bless his. Humans and Sumeru Forest continue to coexist peacefully. Alhaitham and Kaveh live together happily ever after.

5. Pacific Rim!AU, where Kaveh and Alhaitham used to be pilots of a Jaeger, but during one of their battles they suffered too much damage. In order to save Alhaitham and what remains of their Jaeger, Kaveh takes most of the damage by severing already unstable connection between Alhaitham and Jaeger's system. Both barely survive the encounter, but meanwhile Alhaitham manages to recover fast, the damage Kaveh has taken leaves him in a critical condition, eventually resulting in him being unable to ever pilot a Jaeger ever again (and putting many new restraints on his usual daily life).

As soon as Kaveh comes to his senses, the two have a huge fight about Kaveh's rash decision, and eventually break off their friendship. They don't see each other for a long, long time.

As the time goes on, Kaveh learns how to live with the changes that his body sustained with the help of his service dog Mehrak. Eventually he takes on a job at one of the Jaeger construction facilities (together with his friend Tighnari), studying Kaiju and creating new Jaeger modifications - though no Kaiju has been seen in the past several years, the world is still afraid of their return.

When the suspicion of the new Kaiju appearance arises, new pilot recruits and ex-pilots are summoned to the facility. There, Kaveh meets Alhaitham for the first time in years. After their fallout, Alahitham resigned from piloting Jaegers, yet now he had no choice but to return to train new recruits (and possibly resume his role of a Jaeger pilot). Now once again the two have to work together as a part of a team in face of approaching danger, trying to resolve their past conflicts and overcome their fears and insecurities along the way (when deep down they simply want to keep each other safe).

TLDR: Kaveh & service animal Mehrak is a neat concept I'd love to see more of, just as a concept in general. I think this one could be an interesting story idea centered mostly around Kaveh's day to day life. Additionally, Alhaitham who used to be only drift compatible with Kaveh but now suddenly discovers he's drift compatible with Cyno. I need more Cyno & Alhaitham camaraderie I think it would do them lots of good (at least in this specific AU setting lol).

6. Oxenfree!AU where Kaveh and Alhaitham are two ex-best friends turned reluctant coworkers (photo-journalist and journalist respectively) working on writing a piece about the disappearances of a group of teenagers that happened at the Edwards Island several years prior (timeline somewhere between the first and the second games). The radio shenanigans ensue, making the two face their past, possible futures and, most importantly, their present. (In Oxenfree tuning into certain radio sequences can temporarily mess up time-space shenanigans, just fyi).

TLDR: I just think that this setting could facilitate some character exploration that would be very fun.

7. Modern MermanKaveh!AU, post-fallout, where it's a little bit more about haunting Alhaitham (and the narrative), than being a merman. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, Kaveh drowns one day, trying to save someone from the water. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, he doesn't really die, being stuck in between (existence and death, normal life and the necessity to live in water). Kaveh manages, for quite a while even!

But of course Alhaitham has to come back and turn his world upside down once again.

TLDR: can you tell Alhaitham's quote about drowning stuck with me huh (and I made it literal lol). On a serious note... Idk, vibes??? I want to see the "stuck in the middle" Kaveh, whatever that entails. Some existential explorations. And the development of his relationship with Alhaitham, of course. // Kaveh is a merman unable to fully live the life he used to have, and Alhaitham doesn't know that he survived (for a while), alternatively "let me help to save you from metaphorical and literal drowning" Alhaitham and "I learned to live like this, this is what my norm now looks like" Kaveh.

8. Another Modern MermanKaveh!AU/DrownedGhostKaveh!AU, because I apparently have no self-control (I feel like I should also clarify that whenever I mention a mermaid, I think of them more as of ghosts of drowned people and less as mermaids-mermaids, the half-human half-marine creature ones). This idea was initially prepared for chili/zhongchi but it's been sooooooooooooooooooo long and I still haven't done anything substantial for it so I'm borrowing it from myself for myself and tweaking it for kavetham because I figured it could fit them. So here it goes,

Alhaitham is a scientist/marine biologist that moves from the city to a much smaller port town, getting himself a place in a local partially repurposed lighthouse. Kaveh is a merman, who has been dead for a long while and who's been living within local waters ever since he drowned. Alhaitham leads a very isolated life, going through a rather rough patch emotionally (maybe a badly ended past relationship and relocation from an established group of friends to a remote place brought up past negative emotions related to loss that were bottled up for a while. who knows, not me). Anyways, Alhaitham's not doing too well, but seaside walks help him unwind, even if for a short periods of time. During one of such walks, he finds an old pendant washed ashore. He picks up his find, hoping to do some research on it outside of his work time (because research is his fun-time).

He expects this to be a brief excursion into local history. He does not expect to become haunted by the ghost of a man to whom this pendant belonged to way back when.

Kaveh, in turn, is extremely excited to finally, finally be able to get out of the sea to the surface. He intends to stay ashore as long as possible and, well, if he just so gets to amuse himself by haunting a grumpy marine biologist that refuses to believe in merpeople, ghosts of drowned and other supernatural occurences - who's he to say no?

TLDR: this AU can go two ways (in my eyes): the happy ending way and probably more gothic-horror-story-esque ending. So, Alahitham is cursed to be haunted by Kaveh: for a while he's the only one who can see him, with Kaveh being something akin to a ghost. However, the longer Kaveh haunts Alhaitham, the more human he becomes (others can see him, he cannot phase through walls anymore, etc.). The curse in itself goes something like this: the cursed thing, after being picked up/taken in, cannot be thrown away and will always come back. The ghost, tied to the haunted thing, shall haunt whoever picks the cursed thing (the thing should be tied to the ghost, but may not necessarily belong to them) and drain their life energy. The ghost can become free and human again if the haunting goes long enough and they kill the human who picked the cursed object in the end during a very specific time that doesn't occur too often (proverbial blue moon, idk). If they don't kill the human and decide to let them go, then the ghost will seize to exist and the human will regain their strength. (An alternative option to the ghost dying for a less angsty au: the ghost voluntarily takes back the cursed object and returns to the place where they died, but then they will never be able to haunt anyone ever again. The effect of the curse on the haunted remain, but much weaker).

In this case, let's say Kaveh and Alhaitham stay by each other's side from half a year to a year, idk. They grow closer, eventually becoming friends and maybe more (the usual kavetham shenanigans Kaveh falls first but Alhaitham falls harder). Alhaitham's mental state gradually improves, yet overall he becomes weaker because of the curse (to the point that it becomes a serious concern), which Kaveh blames himself for. The appointed time approaches (both Kaveh and Alhaitham are in on the details of the curse), and Kaveh, seeing it as an opportunity to set Alhaitham free, manages to separate himself from Alhaitham. Kaveh is ready to return to the sea/merge with it (ah yes the classic Little Mermaid influence does anybody feel it lol). However, Alhaitham sees through his plan and arrives just in time to stop him. They have a confrontation. Eventually, they manage to lift the curse (as you can see I have not figured out exactly how this can happen but! it definitely can!) with Kaveh becoming human again and Alhaitham regaining his health. The two continue to live together happily ever after.

The other scenario is practically the same, but it's more ghothic? and abstract (and probably more suitable for the og pairing it was made for, but i'll throw it in anyways). I have not engaged with gothic literature much and thus don't have much experience in how it works/how to write it, but the idea is that Kaveh is more of a projection of Alhaitham's grief than a ghost fo a drowned person (in other words, he's definitely a ghost, but his presence is also much more symbolical). The story follows quite similar beats, except the setting of the curse is a bit different: it's more of a "kill first or be killed" thingy with a deadline. Kaveh earnestly tries to drown Alhaitham at first through various means, but the more time they spend together, the more Kaveh sees of Alhaitham's life and pain and feels sympathetic for him. Despite the curse, Kaveh tires to help Alhaitham in various ways; and it works! Alhaitham gradually begins to feel better; the two grow closer to each other (more in a platonic way).

So now the precedent is that though Alhaitham's overall doing better, the curse still preys on him, hindering his life in various ways that become more and more serious/dangerous (the curse's deadline approaches, and it tries to survive the best way it can through Kaveh's influence on Alhaitham). Eventually, Kaveh lets Alhaitham go, merging with the sea (once again, yes, it was partially inspired by the Little Mermaid). Alhaitham realizes what happened and tries to look for Kaveh, but it is in vain.

Eventually, life goes on.

Bonus Elden Ring AU (because guess who suddenly went on a lore video watching spree): Kaveh is a craftsman and one of the inhabitants of Castle Morne who managed to escape before it was overrun by Misbegotten. He's a follower of St. Trina and Miquella (he doesn't follow Miquella at first, but slowly he comes to suspect that the two are one and the same). After escaping from Castle Morne, he finds his way to Jarburg, where he is welcomed to stay and be the new Potentate.

Alhaitham is from a distant branch of Carian royal family and a scholar at the Academy of Raya Lucaria. Quite possibly explored an area of studies similar to Sellen's. Eventually he separates himself from both Academy and his family, becoming a wandering scholar.

The two meet somewhere nearby Jarburg when Kaveh gets ambushed by the same people who were trying to get to Alhaitham. The two fight them off. Kaveh, trying to help injured Alhaitham, leads him to Jarburg. The two continue living together there ever since (not without hiccups, but they're doing their best).

TLDR: this one is short and very simple because I just started diving into the Elden Ring's lore, but I just. Really wanted to make some AU for them. I also desperately wanted it to be peaceful and happy one despite it being a seeming impossibility for anything dark souls/elden ring related, but one can dream. If I were to make this one darker I'd probably expand on the duality of their two characters here, and how Alhaitham probably used to conjure spells on humans (with gaining knowledge being his sole life purpose for a long time) and has challenges with comprehending the world outside of a framework of pure logic, and how Kaveh gets an increasing tendency of escaping to the dream world/wherever Miquella is in order to alleviate his mental turmoil (maybe he witnessed too much during his escape from the Castle), and how the two have opposing perspectives on the idea of worshipping gods, and- like, there's a lot that can be done. But I also just really really really want them to simply be happy together in a jar village, leading a peaceful life.

That's it for now! Thank you for reading all of this, I can't commend your patience enough if you got to the end of this list!!!✨🎉✨

Maybe in the future I will unpack some of these aus. who knows.

#if you made it till the end you're officially a hero #sorry for so many words lol #genshin impact #afinna explores teyvat #genshin impact kaveh #genshin impact alhaitham #kavetham #haikaveh #alhaitham x kaveh #genshin impact writing #genshin impact writing ideas #magical birds au my beloved (can you tell lol)#maybe one day #one day i might write it #i was sure i'd never write the inquisitioner x witch kavetham AU but guess what #istg the first chapter should be ready sometime this year. probably. i hope. i dream of it...#pacific rim au is also something i just cradle gently in my hands. weird apocalyptic-esque setting but make it more a piece of life thing #in order to better unpack the relationships between people and various internal turmoils #and the fatui au!!! i want fatui to be weird menacing coworkers that end up being weirdly decent!!! sometimes!!!#idk i just think kaveh and sandrone could be a great work duo #and just the interactions with others could be sooooo much fun #anyways hope these ideas are. decent #also lowkey i need more dori-kaveh-alhaitham shenanigans #like alhaitham is canonically banned from seeing dori as far as i remember [well. blacklisted from the market or something similar]#granted it's probably bc he's with the Akademiya but like. Are We Sure [glances at Kaveh's debt]#anyways i just think there can be some exploration done here lol #also a hot take probably but. we need more 'Dori the Scary Businesswoman that Seems Inhumane But is Actually Wise'#like I want her to push others to their limits for mutual/personal gain BUT doing so knowing exactly when to stop and not cross the line #she is The Monkey's Paw for people who come to her. anyways i just find her interesting #yay that's it thanks for reading all of it have a great day byeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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sluttylittlewaste · 19 days

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One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.

Follow me now-

I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.

Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.

-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.

(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)

I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:

"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.

I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.

Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.

In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."

While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.

That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).

The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.

#this is barely coherent #there's just this wild juxtaposition that I feel like comes up a lot on Tumblr #it seems to happen specifically with ND characters that people see a lot of themselves in #where even if the flaws and complications of that Neurodivergence are being assessed and deconstructed #people will plant their feet on “she can do no wrong!”#and sometimes it's whatever because it's just a fictional character #but other times #like with Kristen Applebees #where the defensiveness has the flavor or being deeply honest #which concerns me #like I truly hope y'all are putting more effort into handling real world criticism than you do with fictional shit #the instantaneous demonization of anyone who isn't tooth grindingly supportive of the Bad Kids (namely Kristen) is worrying #kipperlily is allowed to be mad at Kristen for winning! She may have done some shifty shit #but you can't say she didn't try really hard to win #and Kristen didn't even do her own shrimp jump. she only ran because she immediately disliked kipperlily #and ever Kristen's reason for disliking Kipperlily isn't fair???#Like it started before they realized the whole rat grinder conspiracy #she just didn't like that Kipperlily was a Type A overachiever #which has nothing to do with Copperkettle #and everything to do with Kristen's own insecurities #as for the relationship aspect #i have a lot of concerns about how people on Tumblr talk about relationships #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #rant #kristen applebees #i guess

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spacedlexi · 2 months

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Hi Lexi

What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.

I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?

But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.

i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons

violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)

so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as

the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)

kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses

neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it

#twdg #like idk to me kennys eyepatch symbolizes his descent into madness. its the impact carver had on him #hes 'lost his sight' hes losing his way. becoming a danger to the people he says he cares about #kenny gets waaaay too much forgiveness in the fandom and i cant take it honestly. his motivations dont justify his actions #i dont hate him but god do i hate the way the fandom talks about him #esp when certain kenny stans ignore all the protagonists and hate all the women/anyone who opposes a protagonists views/actions #EXCEPT for kenny for some reason???? like when he opposes lee its fine but no one else can do it #you cannot deny hes a scary man by the end of s2 regardless of his motivations and people loooooove to handwave it away #i hate that 'family is family' crap #have none of you ever had a family member do something so horrible that you cut them out of your life completely?#HES NOT EVEN BLOOD FAMILY like that idea doesnt even apply here!!#the whole point of that phrase is that you cant choose who youre related to. twdg is LITERALLY about choosing your family #s3 is the one that makes a point to address blood relations and what worth they have #ok unexpected kenny rant over sorry but boy does the overwhelming kenny love get to me sometimes. there are other characters #sorry i hope this doesnt sound directed at you personally its just the overwhelming fan opinion i see and it drives me mad #where is the NUANCE??#replies with lexi #plamglam

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redheadarcher · 9 months

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I'LL BE DOING AN UNFOLLOWING SPREE !

i want to follow & write with every single one of my mutuals but. i’ve come to realize that i’m following a lot of people who just… don’t seem too interested in writing with me. people who never send memes or like starter/plotting calls or never interact with my posts in any way and after a while it does gets a little bit boring to be the only one trying. this is a two way street so if you’ve never showed interest in start anything i’ll most likely unfollow because i’m here to write & develop stuff, not to be just a number.

that said—IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN STILL BEING MUTUALS / WRITE WITH ME, GIVE A LIKE ON THIS POST ! otherwise i’ll mostly likely unfollow. if i unfollow you but you still wanna write, i’m more than okay with following you again

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mysticfemme · 1 day

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I've felt so... undesirable recently and I'm not sure why? And maybe it's hindered by the fact I live in a city with no queer community and I don't have much of a social life, so I never meet people who would actually like me. But it just makes me worry that I'm really that undesirable that not even queer people will find me attractive.

#it feels like I'm grasping at straws sometimes when i hope that even one person might see me and think I'm pretty #and I'm just so tired of the only looks i get being from mid 60s men looking me up and down #some car honked at me the other day when i was wearing a minidress #and this guy today drove past me as i was walking along and physically turned his head to stare at me #and I'm just so tired of only getting noticed by old creepy men because those are the only people who look at me #idk #delete later

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chaos-in-one · 5 months

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Oh my god my fellow psych majors need to pull their heads out of their asses

Being a psych major is not the same as being a professional in the psych field. You are still studying to be one, you do not have your degree yet.

Being a psych major does not mean you know as much as, let alone better than, the actual professionals.

Being a psych major does not mean you are a specialist who is an authority on any specific disorder. Hell, having a degree does not even mean that. Unless you are an actual specialist, you do not know better than the people who specialize in that disorder.

Being a psych major does not make you an authority on what people have going on in their brains. You are not a professional yet.

Being a psych major does not mean you are automatically right on anything psychology related. There is a reason you do not have a degree yet.

Psych majors cannot determine who has what disorders. You are not licensed to make a diagnosis, because you are still a student, not a professional.

You cannot know what is going on in a strangers brain just because you major in psych. Even licensed professionals cannot do that. No matter how long they studied, or have been working in psych. There is a reason the diagnostic process for most disorders takes so long. So you, as someone who does not even have a degree yet, definitely cannot make that call where professionals cannot.

And, most importantly, being a psych major does NOT give you a free pass to be an asshole to mentally ill people. In fact, the opposite, really. People like them are the exact type of person you will be treating once you get your degree. Mentally ill people like that entrust psych professionals with their wellbeing. If you cannot be decent to mentally ill people that you do not even know, you should not be treating their mental health.

#I already got my application filled out for college to go into psych #and sometimes seeing how other people going into psych act really makes me question my choices #so many of them are so far up their own asses #and also VERY CLEARLY do not actually give a shit about mentally ill people #which makes me feel really bad for any future patients of theirs with anything more complex than the most accepted shit #honestly with some of them I hope they don't get their degree for the sake of the mentally ill people they would be treating #because some of them do NOT treat them with basic decensy #psych major #psychology #psychology major #ableism #ableism in the psych field #rant #psa

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bumblingbabooshka · 11 months

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This is literally one of my favorite moments for both Harry Kim and B’Elanna characterization. I think a lot of people forget how soft hearted and altruistic B’Elanna specifically can be while Harry, of course a friendly and sweet individual, devotes himself most often to the mission, his friends and Starfleet’s ideals. Harry’s been shown to be much more down-to-earth and less fantastical in his thinking than either Tom or B’Elanna. The only time he gets in major trouble with Janeway and breaks protocol is because he wants to be with a woman. This is distinctly different to me than Tom’s (attempting to save an alien world) and B’Elanna’s (giving a robot race the ability to reproduce) transgressions. His other biggest infraction is begin a mutiny which he does in order to save Janeway & Chakotay. He doesn’t get in trouble for this which is why I put it last but again it seems different from Tom or B’Elanna to me because it’s For The Ship it’s For The Captain it’s a crime which displays his loyalty to Janeway instead of one which demonstrates him going against her ideologically (as shown by the lack of punishment). In that way I think B’Elanna and Harry balance each other well. B’Elanna is a person who seems very nervous and defensive when in conversation with others, who thinks of herself as a person who is ‘bad’ and doesn’t believe in herself much. Meanwhile Harry seems to be at ease with most anyone he speaks to, attempting to befriend even Seven of Nine right away. He’s confident in himself and his abilities and out of everyone (yes even Tom who seems most often to just become frustrated) would be the one to push B’Elanna and break through her defenses. That’s to say it makes perfect sense that B’Elanna would be absolutely enamored by this person who views her as inspiring, would be struck by that while Harry views it as just a weird question.

#I do n't know if I'm being coherent enough...but I really like this scene!!!#and I really like both B'Elanna and Harry Kim!!#st voyager #You might say 'It's just bc B'Elanna's been with these people'#BUT I REALLY think that Harry wouldn't have gone through with the whole 'participating in a play exit'...I think if it was Harry the episode #would have been one of those that ended with him looking sadly out a window like 'It's damn hard to follow protocol sometimes...' but he'd #see no other option #I REALLY hope I'm being uhh understandable HEHEH #whenever I ramble like this I'm like 'Bea you're not making any sense'#also thispost is dedicated to the folks who yell at me (affectionate) about putting the majority of my post in the tags HEHHEHE #I finally di d it...I put the whole post up there...#I was really going to just put 'This is one of my favorite characterization moments' up there and put the rest of that in the tags #but then I was like no...they need the whole thought process #labeling Harry Kim as just 'sweet boi uwu' and B'Elanna as 'fiesty angry lady' is a real disservice to their characters #and might be rooted in some OTHER things #like CERTAIN preconceptions #I think Harry's biggest established fears are not being particular special and being underestimated or babied #But none of those fears seem to drive his behavior the way B'Elanna's do #....God I hope this information is correct I always put this shit in the tags bc I'm afraid someone's gonna reblog this like #'Bea none of this happened what are you talking about' and I'll look it up and I'll be like what WAS I talking about #B'Elanna Torres #Harry Kim #Harry's fears also demonstrate that he thinks of himself as 'good' and more worries others won't be able to see it or he won't stand out #enough for it to matter - again much more confident than B'Elanna

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