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criticallyacclaimedstranger · 1 year

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Stonemilker [Joel x f!reader]

Read on Ao3

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)

Ship: Joel Miller x you (cishet f reader)

Tags/warnings: Heartache, breakup stuff, Ellie lives and Joel is lying to her, sad sex, you know this is ending sex, Couple fighting, idk what this is folks, it's a sad story with a hopeful ending.

Summary: When Joel returns to Jackson with Ellie, something has changed. Can your relationship survive it? Takes place after episode 9 of season 1.

Words: 3,967

A/N: The title Stonemilker is the title of the first track of Björk's Vulnicura (2015), an album solely about the end of a relationship. Cheers to @rambling-in-purple for reading it before posting <3!

Joel returned a changed man. A younger man. A less hurting man.

Ellie was with him, of course, hugging you tightly in the kitchen of the small house you had been given. You had been setting the dinner table for one when she had burst in and called your name, Joel striding in behind her. You dropped the plate, and the porcelain pieces spread around your feet.

Little did you know that your life was about to shatter in the same way.

Joel gave you a warm hug, nothing more. You wanted to hear everything about their journey, but they were both tired and hungry, so you gave them time to shower and change into clean clothes while you adapted dinner to feed three.

Later that night, when you went to bed with Joel, you saw the hideous wound on the right side of his stomach. He told you what had happened since he and Ellie left Jackson.

He told you everything: the abandoned college, the stab wound, and how close he was to dying. Ellie saving him. The resort. All the dead bodies. The hospital.

His decision. Hallways of dead people left behind. His lie to Ellie.

"Joel..."

He looked at you with shrouded eyes. Where there used to be an iron curtain, there was now a thin veil that showed depths of horrors, but also hope. It scared you more than the hard metallic gaze that you were used to.

You knew why he did it. You understood him. You would probably have done the same.

"You have to tell her."

"One day, I will."

"Sooner rather than later. She deserves to know the truth."

There it was, the unyielding steel in his eyes. He never appreciated being told the obvious. But when Ellie did that, slapped him in the face with inconvenient truths and poignant teases, he grimaced to keep from smiling. When you did it, you received a glare.

You had always thought that that glare was yours because Joel didn't have any other way of expressing his reluctant amusement. And it was, but there was a smile-hiding grimace as well, just not for you.

Something had changed. You didn't realize just how much until a few weeks later, when you were out with the hunting party, and a cougar popped up so suddenly that not even the horses had smelled it. It was a young animal, probably a male looking for a territory of its own, and you were the closest to it. Your horse reared, you fell off, hit your elbow on a rock that just had to be precisely there. As if by some miracle, your head missed it, though. The wind got knocked out of you while your brain was screaming frantically at you to get up and get your gun, but before you could move, a shot rang out over the plain, and the horses neighed in fear.

Deion was by your side a moment later, brows knitted together in worry.

"You okay?"

Breath returning, you began to feel the impact of your fall. Left elbow was smarting, your ass was probably bruised, and your heart was beating a mile a minute from the scare.

"I'm fine," you managed to wheeze. He helped you up, carefully pulling you on your feet. He held your hand as he inspected your face for discomfort. You let him. It's comforting, that big, warm hand holding yours.

"You sure?" He wanted to be certain before he let you go. You nodded and forced a smile.

"I'll have a bruise, but I'm good." You've had worse, so much worse.

The warmth of Deion's hand lingers on your skin long after he releases your hand. As you get on the horse and ride back to Jackson, you find yourself thinking about how Joel never showed such concern for your well-being. And he doesn't do it now, either, when you return sooner than expected, moving like you're in pain - which you are.

"You need to be more careful," he tells you gruffly. You know it's his thing, he doesn't do softness, and yet... he does to Ellie. He speaks kindly to her, laughs with her, talks to her about things beyond mere survival. Tells her about his daughter. That's a new one, he never even mentioned his daughter to you.

It's heartwarming to see him thawed. The glimpses of who he used to be melt together with who he is now. You always suspected he was a great kind of guy before the world went to shit and he was forced to become a version of himself that he himself hated. And it hurts you more than the bruising that he cannot be this new person with you, only with Ellie. She deserves the best Joel, you know that, but don't you? After all you've been through with him?

You argue with him later that night. That's also new. While you may have disagreed with him occasionally before, you have never fought about it. Maybe it's the comfort of Jackson, the fact that a disagreement no longer means the risk of death. Maybe you have just had your fill.

"You could at least say something that doesn't make it sound like it's my fault!" you yell, unconcerned with your voice carrying over to the next room where Ellie is asleep. "You could ask me if I'm okay!"

"I can see that you're okay," Joel replies irritably. "I've seen you take worse hits."

"I am not okay, Joel!" The words are spat into the half-lit bedroom and the silence that follows is heavy from the impact. Joel crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks at you with unreadable eyes. It's not his usual glare, the one he gives you no matter the reason, because it's all he's capable of. It's just... closed. Like he has nothing more to give you.

You sleep in separate rooms that night. Ellie is unusually demure in the morning, looking from you to Joel and back to you, clearly bothered by your fight the night before. You make a mental note to talk to her after breakfast but before you can suggest an activity, Joel asks her if she wants to go out shooting.

Okay, let Joel deal with Ellie.

You go to your chores, which consist of animal care for most of the day. Deion joins you. He wants to know how you're feeling.

How are you feeling? Bruised and annoyed. Sad and confused. Touched and frustrated. Abandoned. Lonely.

"I'm good," you assure him with a light smile. "A little sore, but I've had worse."

All day he sees to it that you rest. He takes care of the tasks that will aggravate the aches of your beaten-up body. He reminds you to take a break when it's nearing lunch time.

He cares so clearly. Is this what it's like, to be with someone who cares?

Ellie is bubbly that night. She and Joel have had fun, she tells you, and you're happy for her. Ellie is a child who was never allowed to be one. She deserves carefree days. She deserves a father figure, a dad. A mom, too, but you have no idea how to be that. Especially when things are so askew with Joel. Whatever things are, were, should be. You and Joel used to be about teamwork, survival, partnership. But life in Jackson is different. What you two had, were, is not needed here. What else can you be?

Joel watches you take your clothes off when you get ready for bed. You turn your back to him, maybe out of misguided, sudden shyness, maybe to show him the bruise that has painted half your back. It was dark red yesterday, now it's turning purple.

His feet are heavy on the floorboards when he walks up to you. His rough fingers are surprisingly soft when tracing the outlines of the bruise. You close your eyes, lean into his touch, sigh softly when he kisses you neck. You lie down on the bed and let Joel take you. He's gentle, more so than usual, but every thrust pushes you against the bumpy mattress, hurting you. Neither one of you speak but when Joel has finished, he cradles your face in his hands and kisses your forehead so softly that it's barely a kiss at all. You turn your back to him when you go to sleep. Your muscles are sore from the coupling, and you quietly love that tenderness like one would a bittersweet heartache. The bruise on your lower back throbs like a young heart in love, and when you turn onto your side, away from Joel, you wish he would kiss the miscolored blossoms.

But he doesn't. He simply turns away from you, just as you turned away from him. With a canyon between your warm, spent bodies, you both go to sleep.

Ellie accompanies you to your chores the next day. After a quiet hour of cleaning the stable, she eventually asks you if you're mad at her.

"No, Ellie, why would you think that?" you ask, immediately regretting your poor choice of words. She shrugs, leaning against a stall door, both hands gripping the handle of the pitchfork, the prongs scraping loudly against the floor.

"You've been weird since we got back. You and Joel have been fighting."

"That has nothing to do with you," you lie, hopefully convincingly. Ellie looks up at you, a hard glint in her eyes.

"I'm not stupid. You never fought before, not for as long as I've known you."

You stop your sweeping but don't know what to say.

"You barely talk to each other," she insists.

"It's complicated," you tell her feebly. "But it has nothing to do with you, Ellie, I promise."

"Then what is it?"

You shake your head. "I'm not going to talk about our relationship with you, Ellie. It's not your problem."

"It is my problem if my - " she stops herself, the word parents hanging in the air for a second, before she continues: " - if you two are going to, I don't know, get a divorce or some shit."

An amused scoff escapes you before you can stop yourself. "We're not married, Ellie."

"I know. But you're, like, together, right?"

"I don't know what we are," you blurt out, averting your eyes so you don't have to see her reaction at your confession. You hear the scraping of her shoe at the floor.

"Did you count on me not being here anymore?"

Her voice is small and sounds so different from its normal curious and teasing tone. A clump forms in your throat.

"Ellie..."

"I'm in the way."

You let go of the broom and focus instead on Ellie, standing in front of her and taking the pitchfork from her so that you can grasp her hands.

"You're not in the way," you tell her firmly. Ellie looks away, and you shake your head to stress your words. "Ellie, look at me."

She meets your steady gaze, and you see how conflicted she is. Poor girl. She is a child. You can barely remember what it was like to be that age and besides, it was another world ago, but you do remember that it was difficult and confusing for so many reasons.

"You are not in the way," you emphasize softly. "But this situation is new, for all of us. This place. This dynamic. We're not just surviving anymore, Ellie, we have a chance to live. And I... I've never had that chance with Joel before. So I'm struggling a little right now. But it has nothing to do with you, okay? You just... be you. You're so good for him, Ellie, you have saved him in more ways than one."

She purses her lips, and you see her throat muscles work as she swallows.

"Okay," she finally nods, quietly. You press a smile, try to look like this problem was resolved.

"Okay." You give her a quick hug before going back to your work. Ellie seems relieved but you can't stop thinking about how you pinned it all on your own back. You are struggling, you are having a hard time of this new way of life. As if Joel has nothing to do with it. As if his broad, once so safe, and reassuring back isn't now turned to you in cool detachment.

You try to bring the topic to him later that night, tell him that Ellie is noticing and worrying. It ends in a fight and this time it's Joel who sleeps on the uncomfortable couch. You lie awake, wondering what went wrong. Is it really you who changed? Are you being a selfish bitch, jealous of a 14-year-old girl? Do you really want life to go on as it did before, in the Boston QZ, fighting for your life with Joel by your side?

Why is settling down so hard?

Nothing changes in the coming weeks. Talking to Joel is like milking a stone. Every now and then the two of you fight, as quietly as you can when Ellie has gone to bed. You still think he should tell her. He refuses to, and you can see the fear in his eyes. Ellie will be furious with him; you both know it. The longer he keeps her in the dark, the worse it's going to be. You find yourself wishing that you'll be far away when the day comes.

One early spring day you ride out with Deion to check on the traps. You've spent most of your days with him these past few weeks. He appreciates you, sees you, wants to hear your opinion. He takes you to the movies. He asks you about your past. He shows interest where Joel barely even wants you at night anymore.

The snow has started to melt in the sunshine, and you find a sun-kissed clearing where the ground is yellow with glacier lilies. The air is warm, and you can smell the changing of the season. You dismount and crouch among the delicate yellow flowers, hover your hands over them, smile in childlike delight when you see bees buzzing from flower to flower. You can't remember the last time you saw bees.

In that clearing, you ask Deion to kiss you, and he does, almost immediately. Not until the kiss is over does he express regret.

"You're with Joel."

"No, I'm not."

He smiles, and kisses you again, and you remember those first pre-teen infatuations: the warmth, the excitement, the heart-stopping angst about whether or not the subject of your passions felt the same. You remember all that but only feel it radiate from Deion. The feelings are unrequited.

That night you collect your few belongings into your backpack and leave the house. You hug Ellie and ask her to forgive you. You say nothing to Joel, and he says nothing to you.

You do not go to Deion, but instead to the boarding house where new arrivals are placed while awaiting homes of their own. Deion is kind, and he showed you what it would be like to be with a person who genuinely cares for you, but you don't want to rebuild your shattered life around a man.

A week later you mount a horse and leave Jackson. You have no plan, no light to look for, but you can finally breathe freely. Heading west, you ride at a slow pace all day, enjoying yourself more than maybe is appropriate. Your saddle-sore backside in the evening doesn't put a damper on your joy when you sit by your small fire with a cup of herbal tea. This is the start of something new, maybe disastrous, but definitely different.

The dark woods around you don't scare you, neither does being alone. You realize now just how alone - lonely - you've been these past couple of months, smack in the middle of the warm and well-organized community that Jackson is. Its friendly inhabitants weren't enough: you only wanted kindness from one single person. To be alone out here, by choice, feels a lot better than the time spent in Jackson.

When you prepare to leave the campsite the next morning, a horse emerges between the trees. Instinctively, you reach for your gun before your brain has processed the face of the rider.

It's Joel. Your mouth falls open and your legs feel weak.

"What are you doing here?" you manage when he dismounts. His hunched shoulders tell you clearly that he's uncomfortable and also stalling as he, very meticulously, ties the reins to a nearby tree. You wait impatiently for him to acknowledge you. When he finally does, his nut-brown eyes are clear in the first rays of the sun.

"I'm here to ask you if you would consider returning."

You have to bite your tongue in order not to laugh out loud. Your hard stare tells him everything, and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I'm going to tell Ellie about what happened at the hospital."

You raise an eyebrow. "Why are you here telling me that?"

"Because when I do, she's going to hate me, and I can't stand losing both of you."

"It's a little too late for that, Joel."

He nods, wets his lips. Looks away and draws a wet breath. Rests his hands on his hips, purses his lips. You realize he's fighting against unwanted yet inevitable tears.

Joel crying. That's a new one.

Moments pass, minutes, maybe hours, days, you have no idea, but you keep staring at Joel as he stubbornly looks to the forest, as if there was an answer or saving grace to be had between the trees. You are relentless in the midst of the rising sun, the singing birds, the soft shush of the wind through the budding treetops. He has to make the first move, show something, say something. Offer an explanation to why he stopped listening. Where did the apathy in his eyes come from? Why did he suddenly decide to show no concern for you?

He brings his hand to his eyes, rubs them quickly with forefinger and thumb. He then turns back to you.

"Ellie misses you."

You stand your ground, implacable as you wait for him to continue. Finally, he confesses:

"I miss you. The minute you left I started missing you."

"Then why did you let me leave?" you ask flatly.

"I wasn't going to stop you if that's what you wanted."

You refuse to engage, even though you want to scream at him: Do you think I wanted to leave?

"Was it Deion?"

"What?" Your eyebrows meet in a surprised frown. "What about Deion?"

"You spent so much time with him. Did you... was there anything between you?"

Unable to play it cool anymore, you take a step closer.

"How fucking dare you? You have no right!" Your horse and Joel's shift their weight, ears twitching nervously.

He's a little taken back with your raised voice, but he doesn't match it.

"Sorry," he mutters instead, and now it's your turn to drop your jaw. For a moment, both of you just stand there, looking at each other, trying to find some common ground to share so that things can be resolved.

It's Joel who finally finds that little patch of soil to sow the seeds of reconciliation.

"You remember how I tried to make Tommy take Ellie to the Fireflies?" he asks, and you nod mutely. Of course you remember. The tension in the house had been so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

"But I took her. And everything that happened after that... happened. I have to live with the consequences. I just had to keep her."

He shakes his head, something desperate filling his features. "If I get to keep her, I can't keep you."

"What do you mean?" you ask quietly, not following. The long look he gives you is anguished, but he stays quiet, as if he has said too much. Your brain is working at full capacity until it has connected the dots.

"Is this some kind of 'can't have too much good shit in my life' bullshit?" you ask hoarsely, almost afraid of the answer. "Because that is just... Joel, you are an idiot."

You're shaking by now, and Joel bristles a little.

"Look, Ellie has nobody else. She's stuck with me, for better or for worse. She's a kid. But you are not. You can have someone better."

"What if I don't want anyone better, what if I happen to love a complete fucking idiot who doesn't deserve me but is stuck with me because I chose it myself!?" you scream, tears filling your eyes and escaping down your cheeks. Joel winces, as if you just slapped him, but when he sees your tears, he closes the gap between the two of you with a few long strides. The next thing you know, you're crushed against his broad chest, smelling his sweat and slightly woodsy scent with leather and horse and melting snow. He holds you so tightly it's almost constricting your breathing, but you don't fight back. You've fought back for long enough.

"Darlin'," he murmurs throatily. "Darlin'. You love me?"

"I did," you sob. "But I don't know if I still do."

He's quiet, his hand moving in slow, comforting caresses over your back. Something is broken in you and the splinters are pressing against your internal organs, making breathing near impossible. Your face against Joel's chest, you think you can sense something break in him as well.

"You're right," he finally whispers. "I am an idiot and an asshole."

Your only response is more tears because now he gets it, now the milk is flowing from that goddamn stone, and it just might be too late. You don't know if you can trust him to handle your broken pieces right, or if there is a second chance for him in you.

There is no telling how long you stand like that, entwined in a sad, desperate embrace. The sun's rays start to feel warm even when you're cold inside. When your tears finally dry up, you shift in Joel's arms, and he releases you. You can't look at him, can't let him see you like this, but he gently places his finger under your chin, and raises your face to his.

"Am I too late?" he asks. His eyes are red and there are wet trails on his cheeks. You swallow hard, try to navigate between your desires and needs.

"What would change?" you finally ask. He places his warm, slightly sweaty palm against your cheek and brushes his thumb just under your eye, catching a lingering tear.

"I would love you."

He has never said that word to you before, and you want to ask for a detailed description of what it entails. How will he love you? Will he listen, help, support, share?

If Ellie decides to hate him, will he hate you in return? Will Ellie?

On the other side is a vast wilderness of no coordinates, the unknown with all its dangers. What are your chances of survival, of finding decent people? Jackson is full of decent people, and now also Joel and Ellie. Joel, who hurt you. Ellie, who is torn between the two of you.

He waits for your answer, and you find that you don't have a definite one to give him. But you know what direction to take.

"We'll talk about it on the ride back."

If that direction is a way forward or a way back, you don't know. You just feel that it would be wrong not to try.

#the last of us fanfic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #my fic

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 3 months

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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x10 The New Neverland

(gif by just-be-magnificent.tumblr.com)

Summary: A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time. There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season. Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.

Word Count: 736

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Killian sat brooding on his bar stool at Granny’s diner nursing a mug of beer. As he watched Emma converse with her lad, his heart sank. He loved her, wanted her more than he’d wanted any woman in centuries. He wanted to be with her, be the man she came home to at the end of the evening, the man she confided in, loved, gazed at adoringly, the man she allowed in her life and in her bed.

But more than anything, he wanted to see her happy. They understood each other, that was true enough. Though the circumstances couldn’t have been more different, their lives were similar in a heartbreaking way. Like him, she’d seen too much pain, too much hurt, too much fighting just to survive. He deserved the fate he had, but she didn’t. She deserved everything, every happiness life had to offer.

Even if it wasn’t with him.

He’d had hopes when they were in Neverland that he could be a part of that happy future with her–especially after the earth-shattering kiss they’d shared. He’d been quite serious about pursuing her, courting her, winning her heart honestly and with no trickery.

But it had all been a beautiful but unattainable dream–as odd as it was to have one of those on a land seemingly built on nightmares.

He’d seen that clearly as soon as the Roger had touched down upon the waters of Storybrooke and his passengers had disembarked. He hadn’t expected a ceremony in his honor, effusive speeches of gratitude. He hadn’t even really expected thanks, but he had hoped for…something. Some acknowledgement, some camaraderie, some, any, sense of belonging in the group of triumphant heroes.

For a split second, he thought he’d get it. The lady Snow had spoken of someone they needed to give credit, someone they needed to thank, and his heart had lept, thinking it was he of whom she spoke.

But he should have known better. It was Regina who was the focus of her gratitude.

No, Killian could see it clearly at that moment. Pan had been right. He was, and would ever be in their eyes, nothing but a pirate, a villain, someone with whom they could make temporary alliances when the situation called for it, but someone to never truly trust or allow within their inner circle.

He couldn’t blame them, truly. He’d spent centuries committing the vilest of acts in pursuit of his revenge. There was far too much in his ledger that he could never wipe out. Swan deserved someone worthy of her. Henry deserved a better father figure.

Whether or not Neal fit the bill, he didn’t know. Swan hadn’t given him details of how Baelfire had hurt her, but it was clear he had, deeply so. Perhaps the wound would prove to be too deep to overcome, but Killian had to give the lad the opportunity to try. He owed him that much at least. He would not be the cause of another family breaking apart.

Maybe a miracle would happen. Maybe in the end, Swan would choose him, but in the meantime, Killian knew what he had to do. He had to back off for the sake of the boy–both the boy Baelfire had once been, the one Killian had betrayed, and Swan’s own lad.

Aye, perhaps a miracle would happen, but Killian didn’t trust to hope. He’d long since lost the right to wish for miracles.

Note: Grrr! If there’s one thing (other than Neal just being…well…NEAL) that makes me crazy about 3x10, it’s the fact that the heroes just seem to dismiss Killian. Look at what he did for them: He went back to Neverland, the place he’d spent centuries of the worst years of his life. He chose to bury the hatchet and work with his sworn enemy. He’d offered his ship and his services for as long as they needed them, and in exchange? In exchange they took it all for granted, not even thanking him, barely even acknowledging his presence. They’ll give Regina credit for the role she played in saving Henry, but they won’t even acknowledge the far greater role Killian played, and it just makes me both sad and angry for him. Thus this fic. We know Killian suffers from a good deal of self-loathing. This is what I assume led to his decision to back off when it comes to Emma.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#season 3 rewatch drabbles #cs fanfiction #ouat fanfiction #my fanfiction #3x10 the new neverland #killian jones

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lilaccatholic · 3 months

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Spoilers for season 4, episodes 1-3 of The Chosen below the cut

Holy crap. I knew it was going to be painful, but I didn't know it was going to be THAT painful. St. John the Baptist's death was masterfully done, weaving in his naming with his death, his comment about how he was going to a wedding feast, and him seeing a lamb (foreshadowing much? lol) right before he was killed. Andrew and Jesus's grief was also so, so beautiful. The scene with them breaking out in laughter as they eat the awful bread and Andrew immediately wondering if it was okay to be laughing, and Jesus's words about how in times of grief, our emotions are in their most raw state, brought me to my knees. I've been there with grief, giggling hysterically one minute and shattered and sobbing the next. I knew logically that there's no wrong way to grieve, but hearing *Jesus* say it? Even just tv Jesus? That soothed something deep inside me.

As for the wow moments, Simon being named Peter and his subsequent stepping more fully into a position of leadership, including making the choice to forgive Matthew? Wow. It was something I didn't know I needed to see, but once I did, it was beyond compare. That, Gaius's softening towards Jesus, and all the healing and miracles and the sacrifices people made to follow Jesus absolutely blew me away. I literally don't know how they're going to top this.

Given what happened to Ramah, I imagine grief is going to continue to take center stage for the rest of this season. Probably next season, too, if my suspicion that next season is going to be the Passion narrative is correct. But oh, Ramah...her loss was so sudden, yet beautifully foreshadowed. I'm not surprised she died because I knew they'd have to do away with her character somehow, but that didn't prepare me for how raw and real everyone's grief over her was going to be. I'm both desperate for and dreading the next crop of episodes. I don't know how I'm going to survive this!

Whew, there are my first thoughts on all of this. I'll probably say something more educated and meditative on this at some point, but I had to get my raw, honest reaction out while it was still fresh. If you've read this far, come scream with me in the notes!!!

#the chosen #the chosen season 4 #come and see #binge jesus #lilac goes to the movies

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artsy-hobbitses · 9 months

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TTB Opening themes by season

Because my head goblin got riled up from that last ask and I am but a mere flesh jaeger. Thought went into this, goddamn thought went into this.

SEASON 1 (PRE-WAR) Opening: Link by L’arc en Ciel (FMA movie)

Do you remember? Ever since we were kids there was a door we couldn't reach Even on tiptoes Forgetting about time Exhausted with endless wandering This maze we walked Always seemed to be there I can't stop unconsciously Searching for your smile. Not a single thing has changed I would bet on that Even if we were separated by a thousand miles, These memories will connect us Even if we should be fooled by the cruel tricks of fate It won't break us I wish that someday I could see with my own two eyes Our world born again

- Chosen because the MegOP as childhood friends vibes were TOO STRONG look at those fucking lyrics holy shit. Also, it sounds a LOT like OP speaking/singing to Megs! And. very sadly attempting to reassure himself/Megs that yes, they can still be friends despite everything they’ve gone through. He wants to hold on to that hope.

SEASON 2 Opening: I am just feeling alive by Umi Kuun (Young Blackjack)

I am just feeling alive! The tears… the scars… from that night, Change to new vows in this moment.

This simple heart has simply gone on making decisions, Thinking there’s no way justice could ever exist. But nonetheless, I’m searching for it somewhere in my heart, (Give me Give me One More Chance!)

We only really need one thing we can believe in, always Hey, don’t you think?

I am just feeling alive! It’s a patchwork destiny But I want to try betting on that future! I just want you to survive! In the space between a cruel world and hope, This dreaming heart flaps its wings!

- Chosen for the ‘alive’ theme since OP has basically returned from the dead last season with the Matrix giving him ‘new life’. Also OP still seeking for a better day despite the shit he’s gone through AGAIN, and shifting his priorities from Megs to the team he now has to lead, who he’s determined to keep alive. - Thematic support from Prowl, who’s also learning how to live as a free man for the first time and is likely realising the mountains he’s willing to move for Jazz (and his shifting mindset).

SEASON 3 Opening: Unlimited by Nanase Aikawa (Samurai 7)

To understand each other And to share your feelings with each other Those things are like bubbles

Hiding themselves in the grains of time So I have lost all hope Believing it would be impossible to grab them Until I met you

How long have you been carrying This pain inside you? How long have you been hiding That sadness in your eyes when you smile?

If we now embrace the miracle of our encounter And look into each other's eyes, we can become stronger If this is not what is called love Then what is love?

- Female vocals chosen as this season introduces Windblade, Chromia and Lightbright as the Camien Valkyries, as well as Sari. - Fourth and fifth stanzas relating to Ratchet with Drift (defects to Autobots this season), Sari with Isaac (introduced this season, both are part of the main arc) and Windblade with Starscream.

SEASON 4 Opening: Missing Link by Novels (Tiger & Bunny)

I could have reclaimed that torn page Now I don't remember where I dropped it Yet what bothers me most is that there's no beauty looking forward After all, I did have a dream as my spell

What can I hate? My past? Myself? I only wish it could be someone else

We imagine such a future But even if we lose it We'll still be the heroes of our story

And even if the future is bleak So long as we have the present We will write as many chapters of this dream as we need

- The talk of past and futures plays into the Time Travel/Functionist Universe episodes which features as this season’s main arc. - First two stanzas relate to Megs coming to terms with who he’s become (and the torn page he dropped, ie. his old, hopeful miner self). Also concerns Sunstreaker, who leaves the Autobots after a massive crisis of self. - Last stanza concerns Prowl/Functionist Universe Jazz, basically Prowl telling F!Jazz that as long as they have the present, there’s still hope even if the future looks bleak.

SEASON 5 Opening: Rain by SID (FMA: Brotherhood)

The new morning we've finally found Is being hampered by the past What we chased after wasn't the future But the past so full of remorse

The ruthless memories won't stop playing They won't be forgiving us for a long time

It's now that a teardrop Begins to roll down my fatigued cheeks

Will this rain ever stop? I've been freezing for a long time Why does the rain continue to fixate on me? I wonder if it could embrace me

Today the rain falls again Endlessly it falls, knowing no end We nestle close to each other to share the warmth Under this umbrella you gently held out to me

- Chosen because EVERYONE is a little fucked up and tired by this point. - First two stanzas concern the 12 Primes, the reveal of what Unicron is and how they tie into all the terrible things the the system has done finally coming home to roost in an apocalyptic manner, so to speak. - 0:28 to 0:32 played similar but much more benevolently w/the 10 Primes choosing their avatar/champion for the final battle. - 0:13 to 0:18 for massive cast shot which combines Autobots AND Decepticons loyal to Megs who are, once more as they had in the beginning, fighting side by side.

#Humanformers AU #Save For Later #TTB

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lemon-inferno · 1 year

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Reborn Rich the final episode

What an ending.

It's so bittersweet but I love it. Maybe it's my obsession with Jin Do Jun, but if you follow the actual chronology of things - Do Jun was reborn as Hyun Woo first. Because he died first. And if fate cannot be changed then he was meant to recover his memories as Jin Do Jun, which had alread been burried within him. Even before Hyun Woo "died" (for a week), it was meant to happen. So who is really who at the end? As Hyun Woo called it, you could think of it as repentance, but for me personally, Do Jun existed in Hyun Woo long before Hyun Woo got "reborn" as Do Jun.

All that being said, I do have some very smaaaaaall issues with the ending.

First, it felt rushed. Honestly the last 3 episodes or so felt really rushed compared to the rest of the drama's pace. Everything that needed to happen still happened, but it was just.... I don't wanna say half-baked but.....

Second, Hyun Woo got shot straight in the head point blank. You're telling me he miraculously survived that? Sure there are some miracles that happene even in real life, but it's a patter I hate with tv shows, nto just kdrama. At the very least, he would've needed years to recover. Although, if I really want to defend it, I could say the years he spent as Do Jun somehow changed Hyun Woo's brain's perception of time which afforded him just enough time to recover. Still, between Do Jun's and Hyun Woo's death, Do Jun would've had a much higher survival rate than Hyun Woo. Sure, Do Jun's car got slammed pretty hard, but it's not comparable to getting shot at point blank IN THE FREAKING HEAD, now is it? :/

Also I would've loved to see the actual process of Mr. Oh Se Hyun working with Do Jun's mother, instead of just hearing about all the things they're gonna do..... but we don't get to see them.

Jin Sung Jun's character deserved more too. Sure he was greedy, but he was not guilty of ordering Do Jun's murder. Both times he was innocent. He knew everyone would've suspected him, which is was exactly what his father wanted. It's the reason why he got the company in the first place. Sung Jun deserves some justice too. I feel like it would've been that more epic if the show had gone back to the conversation between Hyun Woo and Sung Jun from episode 1 and committed to the bond that was forming. Imagine if we had Hyun Woo and Sung Jun working together in the final episodes. Hyun Woo gets to finish Do Jun's deed and Sung Jun finally has a change of heart and pays tribute to his grandfather and runs the company with the same heart his grandfather had.

On a more positive note (says anticupid), Hyun Woo did not end up in a relationship with Min Young! Which makes logical sense, for once. I'm not saying I'm happy that they didn't get together, I'm saying it happened for the right reasons. But I'm sure most of the ship's fans will be satisfied that she seemed to recognize Do Jun in Hyun Woo in the end. One could imagine they did end up meeting up and like.... making babies. Idk.

I liked the future Min Young a lot more. Although for her to become the Soonyang Grim Reapper and wear only black because she was mourning for Do Jun, I really would have loved to see more of their relationship developing at least? As it was all based on only a few times they talked? Briefly? But I guess human emotiones are unpredictable, so it's possible. Anyways, there's that.

A little sad the endings of the rest of the characters were rushed by too, but I didn't see anything that made me think "hmm this doesn't make sense". Honestly, is there not going to be a season 2? Now I'm kinda disappointed, because I wish we had spent more time with how the other characters' life continued. As well as more to see of Do Jun with his family. But I get it, it was never the focus of the show.

All my other thoughts about this drama flew out the window.

I can say it was a lovely experience. I enjoyed this so much despite constantly finding something to nag about. I loved following Jin Do Jun's life, and that particular era in South Korea's history. The real footage they used. I loved Jin Yang Cheol's character, I loved Lee Sung Min's acting (as well as Joong Ki's, always).

It made me cry a couple of times and any drama that invokes real emotion in me keeps a spot in my heart. Especially when Ha In Seok went to testify and thought Hyun Woo was Do Jun (was he wrong though?) and wanted to protect him. The unspoken hero of this show. It was a fantastic story, even if we look at it only from Do Jun's perspective, it makes for an amazing story. Had Hyun Woo not even been a part of this drama, I would've still loved just watching Do Jun and his grandpa. Hyun Woo's growth at the end was the bonus for me. I get to exprience something which unlocked his cage and his heart. The boy who grew up in poverty and had many hardships because of it, the boy who willingly walked into a cage because of his trauma caused by poverty. He put his emotions aside, thinking that money was more important than them. Finally, he was freed from it all.

With a new look on life, a new heart and a new dream, he was able to leave all of his hurt behind and live in a way that not only fits him better, as a human, but also a life that Do Jun would be proud to see him live.

Ugh. I'm gonna miss Do Jun's smile though. I know Joong Ki plays both, but that smile is now Do Jun's until the day I die and there's no changing my mind.

Alright, time to go cry in a dark corner. I love-hate this ending.

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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i know i've converted my blog into asoiaf meta for the most part, but now that the champions league is back and madrid are set to face liverpool again next week, i remembered this article and just... with all this talk of meta-narratives and arcs and symbolism... can you feel nostalgic for something that happened just last year??? this is going to be super indulgent but i am most definitely feeling thoughts & thinking feelings right now !!!

so for anyone who has no idea what i'm talking about, how about i introduce you to a tale of uncanny resilience in the face of the impossible? not just of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, but of the over-praised, overachiever, drenched in privilege and exposure, that the rest of the world learns to despise, bc they become sick and tired of their (supposedly manufactured) success? what happens when you're the villain in everyone else's story and the world is rooting against you anyway but you also just kind of stop performing for whatever reason?

do you just lay down and take it? accept that your luck has run its course and endure the critiques and the slander with gritted teeth?? once you reach that level of transcendence, is there truly any going back? are you even of this earth anymore?

so that is how madrid dragged itself through the champions league in the 2021-2022 season. the undisputed queen of europe, with an unequaled (then-) 13 titles under her belt, the team that had achieved the impossible feat of winning 4 titles in 5 years, now became the team that everyone wrote off. cursed with the most onerous bracket in the history of the knock-off stages, doomed (blessed??) to face-off the most nefarious avatars of modern footballing culture - first paris saint germain, a PR-sanitizing tool for the crimes of the qatari political elite, then chelsea, a team owned by a russian oligarch with a similar function - also the acting champions of europe, to boot.

four difficult matches that no one expected madrid to survive and nearly took us out so many times. until they didn't. until we opened our eyes each time after the final whistle and there we were, still standing. and there they were, gone, vanquished. a nightmare you wake up from, disoriented, asking for the date, time, place, context. what year is this. is it safe to come out? is this real? have we done it again? what are the odds to us, other than mere suggestions, foolish calculations that only heretics give credence to?

Against PSG they had come down from 1-0 down, 2-0 on aggregate to win 3-2, gifted a way back and scoring twice in a minute, three in quarter of an hour. Against Chelsea they had gone from 3-0 down on the night, 4-3 down on aggregate, with 10 minutes left to win 5-4 on aggregate. It had been extraordinary that they were even standing, but this is the team you have to kill a hundred times. If not, know that they’re coming for you.

the whole world knows that you never, absolutely, under no circumstances, let madrid worm their way into the final, because that's as good as surrendering the title to them and calling it a day. as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. if divine intervention is needed, it will come. inexorably. real madrid are god's team, baby.

so the world throws the hardest hurdle at us for the semi-final. the greatest obstacle. the best chance at making us fail. pep guardiola's manchester city. another such propaganda toy, this time for the UAE, a soulless, plastic club. the embodiment of manufactured apathy. but who's counting. the first leg ends 4-3 for them. the goals didn't stop coming, so i remember asking myself why were they both dressed in blue. light for man city, dark for madrid. what a peculiar choice. what a peculiar year.

In Manchester Real Madrid faced 16 shots. They were beaten 4-3, but celebrated that almost as a victory given how overrun they had been, aware that the difference could have been far greater; rarely can City have felt more like they had lost a game that they had won.

but it is in the second leg that they remembered who they were. we had just forgotten, you see!! a momentary lapse of judgement. it is just before the finish line when you muster up that last ounce of strength and command your feet to press you forward. undaunted visionaries violently upturning any kind of logic or common sense! what was supposed to happen candidly did not happen. it's that easy. it's that simple. flippantly refusing to capitulate!!! our white flags don't mean the same thing as everyone else's! how silly they were to think... !

There were 39 seconds left and Real Madrid needed to score twice or they were out, halted at the gates of the final, their luck running out at last. Eighty-eight seconds later they had done, collective madness taking everyone. Somehow, they had forced extra time; soon, they had the winner, which by then you knew they would. Look in the top corner of your screen. It had shown 89:20 RMA 0 – 1 MCI (3-5). Look again and it showed: 94.13 RMA 3 – 1 MCI (6-5). And it had taken a few seconds to update the score.

delusion that becomes truth itself??? because you make it so???? sometimes seeing truly is NOT believing, you need to re-make reality in your image and according to your own hallucinations of grandeur!! sometimes you are pygmallion and that scoreboard is your galatea goddamn it. you're not lying to yourself, you're prophesizing what you will create out of this world!

The champions of France, Europe and England all eliminated at the Bernabéu.

What happened was the most ridiculous resurrection of them all: even more implausible, the margins finer, the race against the clock more frantic, like they were watching that video back again only on fast-forward, everything flashing by.

There was something mystical at play; some fate, some force that means that the more you fight it, the more inevitable it becomes.

liverpool surely hate our guts. two lost UCL finals against us, the first fraught with enough controversy to last a generation. i don't know what's going to happen next week. we might as well lose & forfeit this season. but, even so, we'll always have something other teams don't. that bright, celestial belief in our strength and our resolve, that vision that only we can see and deliver forth, even in the face of the absurd, of the hopeless.

and i think that there's inspiration in that. i think it's a neat reminder that we have so many stories of our own to tell and there's a power we wield in fleshing them into existence.

The players knew: they had seen the video that proves it.

so go forth and be brilliant!! bring around your own remontada!

“We’ve come back, we’ve come back!” he shouted, leaping about celebrating. There’s something about that “we” that stuck in the throat. He wasn’t alone, some fans turning and trying to get back in. Had they learned nothing? Do they not know this team they support? Of course you have come back, you fool.

#to make an asoiaf comparison #real madrid are SO aegon/sunfyre coded it's not even funny #god's team baby #godchosen; anointed by the high septon himself #and the gods are cruel are they not?#i was really going through it last year and not in a good way so seeing them pull this off week after week #ngl makes me emotional to think about #if they can do it i can do it #real madrid #sports journalism #UCL 2021-2022 #sid lowe #the kingdom of god is within you because you ate it

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mylittleredgirl · 2 months

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Hawkeye/Trapper?

I Ship It

1. What made you ship it?

what DIDN'T!! i mean really it's the miracle of writing-acting-miracle-chemistry, but they're so physically and emotionally comfortable together in how they touch and move around the space, with none of the no-homo manly posturing i expected to see, right? (like there's a joke about it sometimes, but it's never a hard stop.) there wasn't one particular aha moment i can point to, but all the scenes when they are basically playing doubles against frank and margaret really got me there (especially that one where they're nudging each other at the sink and laughing before hawkeye ends up punching frank). they ARE uncle trapper and aunt hawkeye!! sold as a set do not separate!!

and that "you let me lean on you" moment.......... ahhhhh sealed the deal.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

i loveeeee how intimate their friendship is, both physically and emotionally. they genuinely like and trust each other so much, and there's that sense of like Thank God It's You -- because they could be here with anyone (they ARE here with frank!), but they happened to find the perfect friend and support to survive this situation, and hawkeye especially seems sensitive to that. they could be toxically competitive (high achieving surgeons in an extremely stressful situation) but there's so little ego, and even when they do compete it's playful. they're always each other's first laugh and the automatic partner for any shenanigan. committing to the same bit as a love language!! you know that thing stephen king said about having an ideal first reader who you have in mind and always want to impress, and in his case it's his wife? that's them!! but there's also this real core of honesty and affection and support. they've seen each other at their worst and don't mention it. i could go on!!!

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i just walked in off the street here, so i have no idea what the opinions are! but i can imagine this one being unpopular in most m/m fandoms: i don't think trapper would stop sleeping with women, and i don't think hawkeye would mind. (before season four and seeing a less sexual version of hawkeye, my stance was that they would both keep racking up bed notches at the same rate, but now i can also picture a version of hawkeye that is satisfied and mostly just pretends to still be on the chase for the bit.)

i don't see this as a traditional Gay Awakening (or a Monogamy Awakening) story for them -- i think it will be a surprise when they first have sex and really like it and want to do it more, but they understand and care about each other so much (and are in such a strange situation! they can't avoid each other!) that i think they could navigate this and end up with something bespoke that satisfies what they both need, and which evolves over time!

#chatter post #Anonymous #traphawk #mashblogging #ship asks

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madqueenalanna · 3 months

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sorry i'm actually not done making 0 note posts rambling pepe silvia style about history tonight. i just watched a video of two doctors looking at historical medical devices and guessing what they're for, reacting to them, etc and like. it's bad enough that imo the average person has zero idea how the body, medicine, the healthcare system, hospitals etc works NOW but like. pre-google? pre-encyclopedia? pre-presumed literacy?

i mean, we make fun of ancient medicine but. imaging living in the first century ad. you were born with asthma. sometimes, maybe in certain seasons, maybe if you exercise, maybe for no discernible reason, you just. can't breathe. you're in the market buying produce and now you can't breathe. you're wheezing, gasping. your vision goes dark at the corners. you think you're about to die. and eventually it clears, and you're okay. you don't know what that was, what triggered it, what stopped it. wouldn't you look to religion, or miracle cures? wouldn't you give anything to not be oxygen starved?

let's go back a little further, bc times. you are a wealthy, well-connected roman noblewoman. you live a life of extreme privilege, with the best access to anything resembling healthcare. you give birth to twelve children. only three survive until adulthood. of those three, two are boys and one is a girl. you are alive to watch both boys be murdered. so you gave birth twelve times, and die as a mother of one. there are no words

go back even further. since we were classified as humans, half of everyone who has EVER lived– dating back tens of thousands of years– has died of malaria. not just massive outbreaks, not like the black death killing 1/3 of europe in the 14th century, but one half of EVERY HUMAN BEING WHO EVER LIVED died of malaria. malaria has plagued us since we were still australopithecus, or older. today, still, a thousand children die EVERY DAY of malaria. we came out with a vaccine just last year that, in combination with anti-mosquito measures, might reduce the malaria death toll by 90%. the death toll is 750,000 per year, still. how many thousands or millions of years we've walked this earth and every generation has had mothers crying and praying over their babies' fevers. who wouldn't pray? who wouldn't try anything?

i've read medieval midwifery texts. hundreds of years after those were written, a doctor noticed that births attended by midwives, instead of doctors fresh from the morgue, had much better survival rates for both mother and child. he realized that handwashing saved lives. he was so soundly mocked for this theory that he committed himself to an asylum and died there. that was the state of medicine? even washing your hands was an insult?

no x-rays to notice broken bones or clouded lungs. no antibiotics to treat stds, tooth root abscesses, garden variety infected cuts. no birth control to soften the pain of agonizing menstrual cycles, or to prevent more agonizing pregnancies. no prenatal care, no cesareans unless mom is dead. no chemotherapy to treat cancer, letting tumors grow and metastasize and cut off organ function. no anesthesia!! no opioids!! of course many places had some form of herbal pain control but it's not the same. cataract surgery, trepanation, episiotomy, and here's some beer or a stick to bite for the pain

i don't mean all this in the sense of like, people in the past were barbaric who didn't understand medicine. how could they? they had no imaging, they didn't know what germs were. some stuff was clearly batshit but medicine was so rudimentary for so many years that many eras were better off NOT calling a doctor when someone was ill. leeching, etc. i don't blame people for doing anything that might work, for trying anything, for begging the gods for relief. they had no way to know how to do anything else. it's just sad, mostly. we should be so much grateful than we are for the medicine we have

#History #I mean the field of neurology is only ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD #Created in the wake of WW1 to study both shell shock and that weird outbreak of sleeping sickness #Like it's easy to blame doctors for not understanding brain/mental stuff. And some of them do suck but #Modern medicine is really really really recent. We've made UNBELIEVABLE strides in the past century #Only a handful of decades separated the existence of penicillin from IVF. It's incredible!#And of course. Badly. Only a handful of decades between lining up for the polio vaccine and declining MMR #I hate 'free birth' shit too IT KILLS PEOPLE!! HOW MANY WOMEN AND BABIES HAVE DIED IN BIRTH?!#I can't IMAGINE taking that for granted. Privilege at its FINEST. Fuck you people

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wenisstuff · 8 months

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Instructions in the season of endurance

When you've had patient endurance God gives you an instruction that brings your breakthrough.

Ruth after she stayed months with her mother in law Naomi for months. Naomi finally gave her an instruction for her breakthrough;

"THEN NAOMI her mother-in-law said to Ruth, My daughter, shall I not seek rest or a home for you, that you may prosper? And now is not Boaz, with whose maidens you were, our relative? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. Wash and anoint yourself therefore, and put on your best clothes and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. But when he lies down, notice the place where he lies; then go and uncover his feet and lie down. And he will tell you what to do. And Ruth said to her, All that you say to me I will do." Ruth 3:1‭-‬5 AMPC

Hannah after weaping and being tortured year after year she finally got an instruction from Eli;

Then Eli said, Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him. Hannah said, Let your handmaid find grace in your sight. So [she] went her way and ate, her countenance no longer sad. 1 Samuel 1:17‭-‬18 AMPC

For both these women it wasn't instant they followed the instruction as it was given and in due time God gave. Your obedience causes your miracle to ripen. It is the ladders on which your desire descends to you from heaven.

My instructions

1.) The thing I learned at local church posted on my previous blog

2.) Finding my delight in God. Finding my happiness in Him coz at the end of the day happiness is individual and we all come together already happy to share in it. If you're not already happy and fulfilled as you come to your family you will only drag them down as what they do will determine your state. Secret to being Joyful is God being the reason. Coz He never changes

3.) Serving God

4.) Learning basic life skills e.g how to survive without enough sleep,

5) waking up early,

6) being a good cook.

7) personal hygiene

8) kindness

9) how to live selflessly

10) how to control emotions

11) practical ways to manage a home

"Every day that you are single can be a chance to love your future spouse by preparing for your life together. Don’t waste this season, but let God help you cultivate every opportunity to become the man or woman they are dreaming of"

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andybondurant · 1 year

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New Post has been published on Andy Bondurant

New Post has been published on https://andybondurant.com/2022/12/20/christmas-a-season-of-miracles/

Christmas: A Season of Miracles

Twenty years ago, our family experienced a miracle. My daughters (3 years old and 6 months old at the time) were buckled into their car seats traveling down the highway at 65+ miles an hour with their babysitter. They were on their way home when something fell out of the truck they were following. The car they were riding in hit the object and flipped in what some bystanders described as something they had only seen in the movies.

When the EMT personnel arrived, they assumed the worst. This was the kind of accident that included fatalities. People didn’t leave the scene walking…much less alive.

The babysitter and both girls did walk away alive. The worst injury was a broken foot, soreness and a few scrapes.

A Season of Miracles

God was with my children that day. He performed a miracle. Even the smallest details were looked after. The way the car flipped caused it to land more on the passenger side. Had the car landed on the other side, my older daughter would have been crushed as she was sitting upright in her toddler car seat (as opposed to my younger daughter who was laying down in her infant car seat).

Christmas is a season of miracles.

“This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit.” -‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1:18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It’s easy to skim that last sentence about the Christmas story. Mary had never had sexual relations, yet she became pregnant. It’s common knowledge among most of us, so we jump past it. You know this, but that is a miracle. Add this to a baby born to a virgin: an angel appearing to Mary, an angel appearing to Joseph later on, earlier an angel appearing to Elizabeth and Zachariah, Elizabeth conceiving and bearing a child in her old age, a star led a group of astrologers on a path to Bethlehem to witness the Christ-child, a host of angels serenading shepherds in the fields.

Christmas is a season of miracles.

Miracles…today

The miracles aren’t limited to 2,000 years ago either. It’s a season to remember and reflect on the miracles God is doing right now. It might be a miracle that you experience today, or it could be remembering the miracles God has performed in your life in the past. The miracle could be life and death like the birth of Jesus or my daughters surviving a wreck. Or it could be a little less dramatic.

I think about how God helped our family sell property and homes in order to find and move into our current home. It’s good for me to reflect on God leading Kia to her current studio building which she rented for a while and purchased a few years ago — all a miracle. I think about how time after time God has provided for our family; we rarely if ever are in need. Sometimes I consider the incredible group of friends my son has…after he prayed for them. I remember how God used science to heal Kia’s body from some serious physical issues.

Miracles for when life isn’t easy.

Christmas is a season of miracles, but it doesn’t guarantee a life of ease.

Mary gave birth to the savior of the world…in a shed. Mary, Joseph and Jesus fled from Israel to Egypt because a crazed ruler committed genocide to eliminate potential rivals. By the time Jesus was in the world ministering, Mary was a widow. Mary watched her first born child die the death of a criminal.

That’s a lot of pain for one woman to bear. Mary did bear that pain. And consider this: Was Mary able to bear her pain because she remembered how God worked in her favor early in life? Is it possible Mary reflected on the miracle of Jesus’ birth, so she was able to muster the hope for a miracle in his death too?

Remember your miracles!

My encouragement for you this Christmas season is to reflect on the miracles from your life. What has God done in your life for which their is no logical explanation?

Take a few moments today to write down these acts of God – big and small. Hold onto these miracles, because they will help you to muster hope when life isn’t easy.

#Angels #Christmas #Elizabeth #Jesus #Joseph #Mary #Matthew #miracles #Zechariah

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starbuck · 2 years

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Let’s take a closer look at the “You’re Spanish Jackie?” “Yeah.” “Are you Spanish?” “No.” “Then why do they call you ‘Spanish Jackie’?” “I don’t know.” interaction from episode 7.

There’s no way in hell that Spanish Jackie doesn’t know why she’s called ‘Spanish Jackie’, it’s only that she doesn’t want to say why for some reason, and I would like to propose as theory as to what that reason is.

I think that Jackie is far more involved with the Siete Gallos than she lets on to Jim in ep 8. I mean, what are the chances that she’s married to TWO of them, yet has NO idea about the whereabouts of the rest? Pretty unlikely, I’d say.

More likely, to me, is that the rest are also among her (as of yet unseen) husbands and she’s either also one of them herself or she’s in command of them (or both). So her telling Jim they’re probably all dead anyway so Jim should “get over” their need for revenge is a means of protecting herself by throwing them off her scent.

And you might say “but why did she kill her own husband to avoid a fight with Jim, then?” Well, I think that’s pretty simple too. From what we saw of her interactions with Ronaldo, she couldn’t stand him. He disrespected her by calling her terms of endearment in public when she’d told him not to (ep 3) and gave her unsolicited advice about how to run her establishment (ep 6). From all we know about Jackie, it’s a miracle she hadn’t killed him already (even he thought so!).

So her killing him, one of the seven, seemed like an act of solidarity to Jim but, in reality, it’s just what Jackie was looking for an excuse to do anyway and, helpfully, doubled as a means of making Jim stop suspecting her of having any further involvement with the Gallos.

I would not be at all surprised if Jackie encourages Jim to return to the Revenge, without telling them about the plot with the English, expecting that to be their end without Jackie needing to get her hands dirty at all. But things won’t go according to plan and Jim will survive, setting up a continued and heightened antagonistic relationship between Jim and Jackie into next season.

#our flag means death #ofmd #i reiterate: i am VERY concerned about Olu #like. the Gallos slaughtered Jim’s entire family right? but now HE’S their family too!#which means that ~symbolically~ he’s now in the line of fire #i REALLY do not want to believe that the show’s gonna kill him (because i’ll die too if that happens)#but I still think my theory that he’ll get injured trying to protect Jim might hold some water #gotta give Jim something solid to beef about with Jackie into next season after all #PLUS injury-recovery is a GREAT place to explore romantic tension - especially if it at first seems like he might not make it #as a sort of parallel to what Lucius and Black Pete had going on in ep 6 #but even more romantic bc (in this scenario) Olu’s injury happens while he’s protecting Jim #and maybe Jim witnesses it and it’s like a flashback to when their father was killed and they freeze up #and then feel like a failure bc they didn’t do more in that moment to protect him #but he’s like ‘no it’s not your fault - you’re not weak for not being a killing machine 24/7 - ilysm’#(i’m writing fanfic-long predictions again - help me)#but YEAH!!!!!#i think i need to update my bingo card… it’s NOT cheating - it’s not like i know any more than i did last week #i’ve just had more time to Think #i also think that Jackie was lying about her age to Jim - again - to try to throw them off re: her involvement with the Gallos #def getting the Vibes that she’ll be a major antagonist in s2 - if not THE main antagonist #and god i hope so bc i love her a lot and i want to see and know EVERYTHING #ofmd spoilers

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billiewena · 3 years

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since I never made a post for these, here are all of MY ideal endings for sam (and how I would do them) that I spite-wrote after a coworker told me about how perfect his finale was <3

HUNTER NETWORK ENDING: Sam establishes an official network for the American hunters, leading a new generation of hunters as the antithesis of John Winchester. One of the final shots is a montage of all the hunters working and saving people all across the country, proving the Winchesters are no longer alone in the world.

SAMWITCH ENDING: Sam becomes a full-fledged witch thanks to all the magic supplies he inherited from Rowena and blends hunting/witch shenanigans. He can still be powerful but now he gets to choose where that power comes from. Okay this is basically Goldenrod Revisions, leave me alone.

SEPARATE WAYS ENDING: Sam and Dean both alive but living / hunting apart, going their separate ways like a parent and child who is finally leaving the nest. Sam gets the independence he always wanted while also getting to keep his brother in his life, because this is the ultimate proof that Dean trusts him. For the first time, they can move on without the reason being the other is dead. They no longer doubt they will always be there for each other even if they’re not living under the same roof anymore. The episode ends with Sam breaking into Dean’s [insert post-finale residence of choice here] in a callback to the pilot, saying he was in the area for a hunt. The last lines are Sam asking if he wanted to reunite for the hunt for old’s time sake and Dean saying “looks we got work to do.”

PODCASTER ENDING: Sam starts a podcast about the supernatural discussing urban American legends, myths, and mysteries that also helps viewers know what to look for and maybe even teaches them to defend themselves. Some take it as fiction, some use what he tells them to save their lives. It hits the top of the paranormal/mystery charts. The Ghostfacers, whose attempt to get into podcasting failed, ARE livid.

THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END: Sam and Dean both die in a blaze of glory, sacrificing themselves to defeat Chuck and bring back the rest of the world. They both get a moment to say an emotional goodbye to Jack and to each other. The two get a massive hunter’s funeral where all the past hunters come to mourn them and talk about their impact. Jody’s speech probably makes us cry. They get to Heaven at the same time, where they are greeted by all their past friends and family at the Roadhouse. On Earth, they live on forever as urban legends and heroes.

SAM & ROWENA ENDING: Sam says #FuckHeaven and spends his afterlife in hell as the consort to Queen Rowena, drinking margaritas all day, living his best life and stopping any demon uprisings in their tracks. Anytime they give him a hard time, he reminds them that he was Azazel’s boyking and they’re just Random Demon #489. What are THEY doing with their life.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #1 - MARRIED HUNTER LIFE EDITION: Sam and Dean both survive and continue to hunt / live together, except now Eileen and Castiel are around and live in the bunker with them too after Cas was saved in [insert Empty rescue scenario of your choice.] Sam has some deja vu to the vision he had of all four of them living together in 15x09. He realizes that this is actually real and not a vision; that they are actually together, at peace and beat Chuck. The episode ends with them going to have the movie night that they never got to have in the vision. As Eileen takes his hand to go to the movie room, you see two engagement rings on their hands. Sam realizes that his journey may have started with losing Jessica but he found love again, and that while once upon a time all he and Eileen wanted was revenge, they’ve finally both found peace.

SAFE HOUSE ENDING: Sam starts a trauma center/safe house situation for hunters and ex-monsters to recover and heal, dedicating his life to proving that no one is beyond saving and everyone can redeem themselves and defy fate like he had. Mia Vallens, the shapeshifting grief counselor, is on payroll.

SAM IS THE AUTHOR NOW ENDING: Sam narrates the finale the same way Chuck did for the original series finale "Swan Song", further proving that they are now in control in their story. We get Sam's POV as he tells us what happened to all the other hunters and side characters, as well as him and his brother, with flashbacks from all fifteen seasons and young Sam & Dean growing up together. The episode ends with the reveal that Sam actually finishing the journal entries for the Winchester family's edition of the Men of Letters Bestiary, putting the finishing touches on some monster entries and his own personal anecodotes. He treats the Bestiary like a journal, in a callback to After-School Special where Sam almost became a writer and wrote about his and his family's hunting stories.

BABY JACK ENDING: Sam raises Baby!Jack after he is de-aged and “falls” to Earth in the same fashion the angel Anna once did. Baby!Jack wears overalls that don’t say his name in giant letters because Sam is a good parent who would never do that to his child. The two have a happy life as an adopted father/son duo who defied everything Lucifer and Heaven wanted them to be.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #2 - EUROTRIP EDITION: Sam going on a year-long vacation around the world now that he has a cool Irish girlfriend who is not afraid of planes, leading to a fun exploration of the supernatural in foreign countries. Who is Dean.

DOG SHELTER OWNER: Sam owns a dog shelter and gets to walk at least ten dogs a day. Jack helps out and Miracle is the HBIC. Life is good.

CHUCK WINS ENDING: Sam lives and Dean dies, Sam throws a funeral for him that no one attends but him and a dog, and moves to the suburbs to live a generic white picket fence life with an unidentifiable wife. As a montage of Sam’s life plays, the camera pans away what looks like a computer and Chuck’s old office. A string of quotes can be heard in the background (“we’re just hamsters running around in a cage” “what would you rather have: peace or freedom?” “I can do anything...I’m a writer” “We will never give you the ending that you want / We’ll see”). The final shot is Jack, dressed in Chuck’s clothes and glasses and using his mannerisms, typing away at a typewriter. He writes “The End” but punctuates it with a question mark instead of a period. His computer screen and our TV screen both go black.

#if you saw this in my yockeynatural uquiz already no you didn't <3 #credits to sammyblep for the dog shelter ending tho that was is a new one and not from the uquiz but he's so right for that one #anyways the moral of the story is here..both the writers and y'all could get more creative about him lol #not gonna tag this in the actual sam tag so if you see it you see it!#saileen #samwena #ntjdmakesthings #long post #these are obviously all the more canon friendly ones btw.. like if we're talking pipe dream endings than number one is magda is alive again

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ick25 · 3 years

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Net Navis and Backup data.

Uh...Rockman...

And didn’t you delete Plantman just a few episodes before?

Or are Darkloids not Navis?

Hear me out, this post is not to show how hypocritical Axess was compared to the first season ( even though it is), its to give one last look of how hardcore Rockman was back then, and how Navis can be revived with a backup data, as well as trying to solve the mystery of how Rockman came back after being deleted, because it didn’t made much sense if you think about it.

First, though, let’s see why these Navis count as deleted and how were they able to come back in later seasons.

Bombman and Stoneman.

The “Miracle Net Navis” could be able to fight using chips without the help of a human operator, but they can’t revive by themselves. True, in episode 21, Stoneman was able to regenerate himself with a program he had hidden inside of him, but if said program is also destroyed, then Stoneman can’t regenerate anymore.

Random fan: “But Blues couldn’t have deleted Bombman and Stoneman then because we see them again in episode 23 and 25.”

I said that they can’t revive by themselves. Meaning that if Blues DID delete them, Wily could’ve brought them back with a backup data and even used that same backup to make copies of them. It would be until Rockman used the new style change to delete them completely because they don’t come back until Stream, and it has been established in that season that Duo revives Navis who have been deleted by Rockman and friends.

Airman.

Ok, the only reason I say Airman was deleted was because of the defragmentation effect after Rockman blasted him with the Heat Guts Style, which is something we’ve already seen twice, when Rockman was deleted and in the uncensored version of episode 24 when Gutsman got crushed under a boulder to save Roll. Luckily, Gutsman’s data was recovered along with the Scilab servers.

This also means that Airman was brought back with a backup data only to be chow for Gospel, and I still think that’s funny. XD

Even though he came back along with the other Navis eaten by Gospel, Airman returning in Stream could mean that he was eventually deleted by something or someone else. Who knows?

Cutman.

One can not be sure about Cutman since we clearly see him disappear with the Log Out animation, but in episode 36, the elder Cutman says that Cutman was deleted by Rockman and we don’t see him again (canonically, at least).

The brief cameo as an army of Cutman in Stream wasn’t because of Duo, it was because Shademan changed the past, and being a Navi without an operator technically makes Cutman a Darkloid, even though I still think Darkloid origins make NO sense. The Cutman we see in Beast was from a parallel universe, where he was ironically deleted again by Rockman with the help of a friend.

Napalmman.

It was never established if Napalmman had an operator or not, or if he was deleted, but there was no way he could’ve survived a direct Electric Royal Wrecking Ball attack to the face! (The defragmentation effect helps too). Napalman is revived by Duo as an Asteroid Navi, which was a clever way of paring him with his actual operator from the 5th game. BN2 postgame might not be canon.

Planetman.

Just like with Planetman’s origin, whether he was deleted or not is a real mystery. I just assumed he was deleted because his body turns into stone and it then crumbles away releasing what looks like a shooting star.

Wish I had more information about Planetman, but a program advance powered up by the Aqua Custom Style doesn’t seem like something you can avoid. Speaking of that...

Magnetman and Elecman.

The actual scene where Rockman deleting Navis is confirmed. After Magnetman was brutally kicking Rockman in the floor, Elecman fights him while Rockman recovers with the Extra Code, and the Style Changed Rockman starts beating the ever-loving c*@p out of Magnetman.

Obviously cut from the dub.

The bug affecting Rockman during this was interfering with his aim to finish off Magnetman, but Elecman steps in and holds Magnetman in place so that Rockman won’t miss. Both Magnetman and Elecman are deleted because the Count’s PET said Deleted on screen, meaning that Rockman deliberately deleted two Navis to save his friends.

Sometimes heroes have to make tough choices, not everyone can be spared, we have to remember that Navis are computer programs that can be brought back easily because we see Elecman and Magnetman again after this episode meaning that they must’ve had backups.

How does the backup data work?

Both the games and the manga mention repairing Navis with a backup data, every computer program must have a backup to prevent the loss of important information. In a Navi’s case, a backup can be used to restore defragmentation of limbs by using the copy of the Navi’s structure as a base.

However, we’ve seen in later seasons of the anime that many operators are against using a backup when a Navi is deleted, because humans can get emotionally attached to things, bringing a Navi back from deletion wouldn’t feel the same.

Its not confirmed in the anime that backup datas are a thing, but if they were, then why would they not use it to bring back Silk or Nenjiro who sacrificed themselves to save their operators?

My theory is that their memories and experiences wouldn’t go beyond the last time the backup was made, so if a Navi was revived, it would have the same personality, but it wouldn’t have any memory about being deleted or of anything it had learned prior the deletion.

For something as important as a Navi, and the Net being established as full viruses, the PET should automatically copy the Navi’s data at the end of each day, so if a Navi is deleted, it would only have the memories of the day before. If this was the case for Rockman, then why wouldn’t Netto bring back Rockman with the copy his PET made at the end of the previous day? The only difference would be that Rockman would have no memory of his battle with Blues. One can argue that it just wouldn’t feel right because the Rockman that experienced everything along Netto until his deletion was gone forever and that he would only have a copy of his dear friend instead. It could be that, or that PETs just don’t save backups and it is something an operator is supposed to do, but knowing Netto, doing this would also feel wrong because he would never see Rockman as just a program.

I think there was an argument about Silk being corrupted by the dark aura and that it prevented her from being restored, but I don’t buy that, unless the PET was corrupted as well, the backup would still be intact. The anime was simply making an excuse for teaching children about moving on after the death of a love one, but that just doesn’t work for Navis knowing how computer programs function.

The anime wanted to follow the end of Battle Network 3, when Rockman was thought to have been deleted and Netto had to move on, but in the games, Rockman was Netto’s dead twin brother back as a Navi ( Which I don’t like), and that made him unique and irreplaceable because he was basically human. Since that relationship doesn’t exist in the anime, they had to change things a little, the viewers had to see Rockman as a person so they made it that only his body was destroyed, his memories were placed in Netto’s PET, and for some reason he had other pieces of memories in his friend’s PETs. So Rockman’s personality and memory datas where still intact, and that all they needed was his structure aka his body which was a back up that Netto’s dad had, unfortunately, save in a Scilab server because Rockman was created there.

I personally dislike it when shows change the rules that were stablished in previous seasons just because they wanted a story that the viewers can relate to. To have a fantastic story have one idea and have it suddenly change because we need children to learn about real life topics, even if the show is not about that. So I want to know what others think about this idea and inconsistencies in a story, in the meantime, here are some images of Rockman possibly deleting security Navis.

I’m starting to think this is the real reason why Rockman doesn’t Style Change anymore.

#Rockman.exe #MegaMan NT Warrior #Megaman exe #anime #my thoughts #megaman battle network

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deafchild2000 · 3 years

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Things I want in Legacies

(Forgive me if it sounds redundant!)

Confession: Alright, if Legacies started off the TVD hype, I could think of a few ways it could have worked:

1). Bring in the Fells already! The Kardashians of Mystic Falls almost always have a hand in certain events and a certain role in history.

2) Goes back to the first one, but during Legacies' Miss Mystic Falls Event, they introduced "Bartholomew Fell Jr" (who if you go back to the first shown MMF pageant, Tina Fell's escort was one Bartholomew Whitmore - concluding they married and had a kid).

3) Speaking of the Whitmores if you wanted to phrase say Bartholomew was raised by the Aunt Sarah, aunt of Aaron Whitmore - meaning Damon spared him for not being a pureblood Whitmore - and as a result, Bartholomew's son has assets to the college and maybe revisits the Augustine Society.

4) Season 2 is still the same, but Jade and the other two (Wendy and Diego) stick around. The unholy trinity of the supernatural species living under Kai has so much potential as the evil mentor.

5) Jade is revealed to be the descendant (distant granddaughter) of Stefan and Valerie. It wouldn't be retcon if you say a miracle happened or that the fetus (dub "Jacob") had magic Valerie siphoned from and unknowingly saved it and with Jade alive, bringing Valerie back to claim her.

6) Diego. You had a werewolf with control over his shifting/had more strength than any shown wolf ever/and didn't need a moonlight ring or hybridism to be powerful + he was like Klaus and Tyler (so much potential!).

7) Wendy. You had a witch with immense fire abilities left in Kai Parker's care. Hello? Evil witch mentor coming through! (With various Bonnie references -alluding he tried to start something but settles for Humanity-less!Jade!)

8) Because I'm petty over Tyler, reveal he has a kid. The character was gone long enough before his death that he might have left a secret child behind!

9) Just acknowledge the origins of the Merge. Seriously, follow the timeline, and I bet you the answers lie in the Ancient Greek/Roman era! Either do a time skip or have Caroline come back with the origins so we can find out if both Lizzie and Josie can survive or does one of them need to be a Heretic!

10) Basically, just bring back roles the actors and actresses are willing to reprise! From my knowledge, Claire Holt (Rebekah), Elizabeth Blackmore (Valerie), Steven R. McQueen (Jeremy), as far as I know, are willing to come back.

11.) Skeletons in the Closet. I dubbed this that because TVD started 2009 and Legacies is in the late 2020/early 2030s. Would it be so terribly inconvient if bodies that that got stashed around by Damon and co. stashed over the years just do happen to be found? Sorry stans, but this chaotic neutral wants to see how those Vampires-turned-humans like Damon and Elena deal with not having magic abilities when those deaths suddenly point fingers at them!

12.) Honestly, I can see why fans are tired of the Malivore plot. So, I see Malivore dying in S1 and one of the repercussions of its death be the release of all those monsters (and humans) that were once myths be brought back into the modern world and see Mystic Falls residents (Salvatore and Mystic Falls students optional) deal with hunting them down or making friends with the intelligent ones.

13.) Bring. Back. Rafael. And. Give. Him. An. ARC!

15.) Kill Alaric. Plain and simple.

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ambiguousdisorderken · 3 years

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in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel. Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” // Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23 – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references.

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is).

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

#Anonymous #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im posting this at 2:30 am so i'll most likely reblog it at a more reasonable hour ..in case anon is closer to my time zone #why am i even saying this..im sleepy #destiel #answered #destiel episode guide #there might be number/name mistakes because again sleepish.forgive me #long post

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