#how tired dark is sometimes...

[dnangelic]

sometimes i think abt towa and argentine in the very last manga chapter n cry

#*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT. #waaaa waaaa my lucifer my boy-king and the respect and power he doesn't even want but deserves sm #dark wouldnt want towa n argentine's help if he could go without it!! all his theft has been bc he cared #n its the fact he n dai care tht they genuinely deserve the sort of trust respect n acknowledgement from the niwa fam #that the rest of the world who doesnt properly or intimately know the likes of dark n dai doesnt afford them #i justttt wooooughhhh towa argentine gratefully graciously bowing themselves with fealty #to dark who's always been bearing all this insane burden and self-expectation alone #all by himself #afraid even of that solitude but nevertheless doing everything he could for the sake of #what he felt was right saving the artworks saving precious things even if he had to steal them away and disparage himself #more and more (the more he succeeds the more he disgraces himself as a villain and a criminal) #aaaa waaaa INNER NIWA FAM CHARAS r just so special.... THEY GET TO SEE IT ALL... #how heavy the pressure is on dark n dai both actually despite the superficial layers like elmroot says #the 'outer self' that enjoys being a phantom thief and then the inner that 'hunts his own kind' #how tired dark is sometimes... #well. w/e. point is niwa fam chara writers who ever take this into account ill kiss u forever #dark can be annoying or behave in spoiled/lazy/belligerent ways sometimes but it rlly makes him and dai more like the #rebel angel leader / boy king example i try to write them as. they still care ofc they doooo #it's just they're the equivalent of the highest seat holding together their little country #their miniature empire that dark n the niwa have built up over yrs n yrs n yrs!! #dark never claims himself a king or a prince he doesn't throw his weight or titles around like that #but between paradise lost and POTO's occasional angel of darkness/PRINCE of darkness #the vibes are there in between the lines. they r right there. this dude has so much hes taking responsibility for #even though he doesn't even Have To. but in doing so- he is. and SHOULD rightly be supported #in the manner of someone in service demonstrating loyalty to him #ok. ramble over

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it #like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting #why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol #and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim #*him looks of loving grief? #why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!' #why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts' #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #clark kent #dick grayson #jason todd #bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim #like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way' #dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up #batdad #text

[nestofthorns]

*spoilers ahead*

maybe it's because i was reading orv before reading dod but debut or die feels like a love letter to idols and fandom the way orv feels like a love letter to readers.

i just keep thinking about the world of the screen. keundal receiving strength through gun134's fancams, despite never meeting. moondae receiving keundal's wishes and help through the system screen.

idols and fans live in two worlds, but they meet through the screen. what connects them? what makes the two worlds connect? why do idols keep performing, why do the audience — the fans — keep watching?

it's fun.

just like testar's concept — it's because it's fun.

because it's fun, because it makes you laugh, because it makes you scream, because it makes you cry.

because you share those emotions, the two worlds are connected.

and when you meet the idols live, those two worlds overlap for a moment and those emotions spill out.

gunwoo, who captured idol videos just to make money. gunwoo, who helped keundal during the worst time of his life through the screen. gunwoo, who lived in an isolated world but still touched others' hearts through the videos he uploaded.

and when they met outside the world of the screen, he once again helped keundal. keundal who cast the wish to help the one who helped him and became the screen itself.

because ryu gunwoo was his idol even before he was park moondae. because park moondae (ryu gunwoo) saved his heart, even before everything.

gunwoo gave him the world of the screen that saved him, and then keundal cast a wish to give him a world that loves him through the screen

idk i keep thinking about how much moondae loves his fans and how much they love him. how their prayers and hopes reached him when he was comatose. how he's always planning to make sure the fandom is having fun and not tired to support testar. how he may not be the og "park moondae", but he's undoubtedly testar's park moondae.

#spoilers #debut or die #dod makes me go “thats right this is why i loved watching idols” #like i get tired of 3d idols and fandoms too #and there's a lot to be said about the “dark side” of the industry #but dod really reminds me #“thats right. it's because it's fun” #fandom is about having fun!!!! #and sometimes you just have to stop and be wowed at how the screen allows to connect isolated worlds

[sleepyseals]

[Image Description: A digital painting depicting Feldspar standing to the right of a campfire, facing away from the viewer and upwards. They are holding an arm outstretched above them and the other gesticulates as if they were telling a story. Several fireflies surround them and their shadow falls to their right. Wreathed in the smoke of the campfire is a scene of their campsite in Dark Bramble. Three large twisting brambles, the anglerfish fossil’s teeth, and three pine trees are suspended upside down, stretching downwards toward Feldspar and the campfire. A plume of stylized curling smoke stretches across the top of the scene from Feldspar’s ship in the top right corner. The ship is sparking with electrical failure. End Image Description.]

my piece for the @travelers-encore-zine !!!  I think this came out a bit more conceptual than I wanted but I still like it!

Thank you to the mods for making this happen, putting everything together and being an amazing support team!!! Thank you to my fellow contributors for being so lovely and making such amazing things and sharing this project with me, I'm really happy I got to be a part of it!!

#I'm so late to posting this omg sorry!! I got stressed abt writing the caption bc its hard getting the words out of my brain sometimes #but its already been a few days since the zine came out I can't believe it #expect some sort of process video or post for this maybe!! as soon as I figure out how I want to do that haha #idk I put a lot of work into this that I don't want to leave unseen but I don't know how I would even go about formatting smth like that #I dont know how to feel abt this piece lol I definitely got very tired of looking at it by the end but I think I'm still happy with it #there's so much going on for me atm but I'm happy! I'm so happy I have things to be passionate about #crazy how life is messy as ever but so much more manageable when you have something you care a lot about #videos game. <3 <3 <3 #I’m interested to hear people’s thoughts on what this means like symbolically ::] #both lonely and claustrophobic #Stories are the basis of so much in game but give feldspar room to breathe god damn it #I have to go to class and stop rambling in the tags now #outer wilds #feldspar #dark bramble #my art #outer wilds spoilers #ow spoilers #how did i forget spoiler tags... smh my head XD

[theflyingfeeling]

tomorrow-me: I'd really appreciate it if you could drag your arse to the grocery store so that I won't have to get up early tomorrow morning to do it you know?

now-me, wrapped in a blanket with tears in my eyes: but I'm just a baby?? 😭

#listen i am so so so so so so so so tired 💀 #my landlord's coming for a visit at 11 tomorrow and i have nothing to offer him #but i'm too tired to think about what to buy for the weekend (for myself) #grocery shopping was a burden as it was but then they shut down my nearest store (200 m from my apartment) #and now the nearest one is just far enough so that i don't wanna go there just for a pack of coffee and biscuits #i'm so tired i just had to check how to fucking spell 'biscuits' 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #feeling slightly better now that i rested my eyes a little and drank a glass of water and ate a clementine #but i don't wanna goooooooo it's cold and dark and i don't know what i want to eat during the weekend 😭😭😭😭😭 #it's times like these i hate living alone / being single because i can't just ask someone to go to the grocery store for me #i should also clean up my kitchen and bathroom a bit #i know i'm so brave for doing shit like this all by myself but sometimes i really hope i wouldn't have to #sorry for whining about my little life on main lol pls ignore #i need no advice (but sympathy would be nice. an encouraging headpat even)

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.

#I refuse to be upset at anyone. I have so much love in my heart #but I'm going to pack formal clothes for my sister in my own bag just in case. she doesn't need to know that. #you couldn't pay me to care or to stop caring. it's cognitive dissonance #because I know this won't always affect me but it's my whole world right now #I say I don't care and I mean it but at the same time I care more than anything else #it's actually almost scary how much I relate to dark alley #not in a ''I'm in a mentally dark or dangerous place'' way but in a ''yeah I compare myself to others too much'' way #and then I try to make excuses so it can make sense to other people so they won't think the worst of me #like literally I'm trying not to think about fall but it's right around the corner and I'm. falling into it I guess #pun intended of course. I don't want to lose all my friends #I want to be one of the kids who gets invited to people's houses for lunch after church and I know I never will be #because that's the kind of thing that's only for the kids who are going someplace. not the ones who stay #I'm feeling very selfish and it's probably bc I'm tired lol this happens sometimes #I'm gonna make dinner for my family and then I'll feel better skskskskk #Lu rambles #sometimes I think I could write poetry #I feel like once my vacation is actually imminent I'll feel better I just haaate the point we're at right now #which is like. it's SOON but not THAT SOON so I feel like I can't do anything bc I'm just waiting for things to get going :/

[autisticlee]

me: i'd like to have more friends so I have more people to share things with and someone to talk to every day since I spend 98% of my time completely alone

me, trying really hard to make friends: feeling very lonely like I can't fit in and don't belong no matter what I do until i get kicked out/pushed away. or immediately fucks up, without realizing or knowing why

me after that, in tears: actually I lied, I don't want/need friends. it's better to be alone 🥲

me for a long time after that: avoids people and spends all my time alone wishing to share things with others but too tired to try again

but eventually repeats the same nonsense cycle again and again because I never learn from it 🤦‍♂️

#autism things #autistic #autism #actually autistic #socializing #friendship problems #i wish i could accept that im either meant to be alone or better off alone???? because even tho its hard sometimes #trying to PEOPLE is harder and fucks me up further so....how do i stop giving in and trying again 🙃 #people will tell me dOnT giVe Up iTs nOt gOoD tO bE aLoNe but its also not good to be repeatedly traumatized!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 #arguably thats WORSE #IM SO TIRED AND BURNT OUT AND DEEPLY SAD. sad isnt even a good word. idk a good word. what do i feel? idk #can only describe as a forest that completely withered and decayed and theres nothing left but a dark murky sludge #i feel equivalent to that i think. a dead forest is very sad as someone who likes plants way more than people......

[coollyinterferes]

Today, I offer you...

🌟 he 🌟

#[been thinking all day abt how much jona happily infodumps abt az/te/c culture and civilization on others if he gets the chance lol] #[especially when you take into account he canonly has some kind of morbid fascination with the dead and w/occult stuff (ie. the stone mask) #[probably had a blast the first time he tried pozole (a dish that seems it was popular in that culture and still is nowadays in mexico)] #[and he'd totally throw in the good ole ''did you know it's believed az/te/cs used actual human flesh instead of meat to make this?!''] #[he wouldn't do it in an ill-natured manner tho! he wouldn't try to upset others on purpose (and possibly ruin their meal in the process xd #[it'd be just his nerd ass infodumping and throwing some very dark facts/stuff bc he's so used to all of it lol] #[but yeah. i can definitely see why he got invested so much into all that stuff] #[it's just perfect for him] #[and yeah. i will be making a more formal post about all this sometime (if my pea brain doesn't forget to do it)] #;ooc tag #[stilllll feel free to interact with jona if you wish to! (regular jona. not micro!jona lol)] #[anyways.. had a bit of A Day] #[but at least i got to see some hal/low/een and dia de muertos stuff!] #[so that was good] #[i'm tired but i'll be working on replies] #[might not get any done tonight but they will be worked on nonetheless!] #[hope everyone's having a lovely day/night!! <3]

[grapecaseschoices]

as the time approaches us, i just wanted to say that i am IMMEDIATEY sus of anyone who does not have an F mc (mainly @ those who have an mc for each ro EXCEPT F Hauville) and/or (doubly sus) doesn’t have any F content on their blog. 

as someone who's also black myself I definitely agree with the F hauville not being as popular, specially since friends to lovers seems to be quite a popular trope in if, specially when the character in question is white or ambiguously light brown/tan skinned, but the author never mentions where the character is actually from (I wish more authors put where the character is from in terms of ethnicity and nationality because the amount of white washed art/erased ethnic features in art I've seen generally in the IF community is not cute but anyways). I do have some problems with the way F and M are portrayed and treated by the author at times, specially when it comes to some of the racial stereotypes used and the portrayal of Sin, an assyrian character in Book 3 as a trapped man, but that's a point for another day. I absolutely adore Wayhaven but I do wish that F was treated better by the fandom. I think sometimes some fans kind of infantilise F and just brush them off as the sassy best friend with no other role in the story, which is kind of sad because if you actually play they're route you get to see that theres more to them than meets the eye in the same way that the other ros do.

why do i need to say more when you already said it all so well anon?

bloop! what more can i say to this? this is true facts. like i get that sometimes a lot of people ARE tired of that trope -- especially on tumblr; and people do love the angsty. But it is STILL a very popular trope for a reason. And I've seen with my own eyes how the sweet RO/best friend RO goes well over when they aren't black (and in certain circumstances, when they aren't a person of color period -- but especially when they aren't black*) that I can't fully buy that the preference argument isn't back with some racial bias. But whatever, people can make peace with themselves about it. I will remain sus.

have you been reading my brain anon? because that was going to be my NEXT bitchy/vent post. But I was like let me pace the dashes. But respect for put it all out there.

I need writers to bring back putting descriptions on their intro posts (they did it for a time but stopped) or doing a description post immediately. 1) Because of what you stated and 2) because I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time on a game that is fully white. /shrugs. I mean I guess it is good that, if they feel they can't write minoroities not to include them at all -- because as you said, I wouldn't want to invest in a story where the black and brown characters are then treated stereotypically. But that still doesn't mean that I want to read a story where the majority is white and the lone amibigously brown/East Asian RO is barely developed.

No, do go on anon. (When you feel like it that is!) I'd love to read your thoughts. I do think Sera has improved in respects of her writing of F and M as characters in the story, both in and out of their own routes. However, I do agree that the whole Sin thing did make me side-eye hard. I heard she's gotten sensitivity readers, so we shall see how that goes.

Well stated. This is, in the crux, is my frustration of the matter. That and the fact that this is STILL an issue. As I stated in my tags, I HAVE seen improvement -- but just going through the F Hauville tag shows how much F is still a general afterthought to the general tumblr fandom.

#f hauville #twc #interactive fiction #my anons are so big brained #how about yours? #grapecase answers #the wayhaven chronicles #twc meta #*now there are exceptions: leo from lure of the gallows is a very popular black best friend ro #(but from what i can recall leo isn't dark skiinned. and leo is also the ONLY one i can think of) #speaking of that infantalization is why i was hesitant to reblog that one f fanart #with the arrow #it is interesting how experience shapes one's outlook -- bc as a black person that was immediately in the forefront of my mind #like if reblogging an art where f looks younger was enabling the treatment #i ended up reblogging it bc i didnt feel anything malicious wa meant but it's a reminder of how different our fandom experience is from a #white person's. #especially re: characters that look like us #and it sucks. and its tiring #(i mean sometimes it can be joy. and i love being black and lauding black characters. but man fandom is such such an intense microcosm of #the real world. and taht can be so annoying. #especially with how some of yall engage -- smh.)

[stinkrascal]

i have a gameplay save for vlad and brie where i kinda just do whatever with them and in that save vlad is addicted to steroids which is just like something. but every time he takes steroids now this picture comes up and it kills me every time

#hes insecure about his masculinity so i think he would take steroids like it isnt canon but i get it #their gp save is so chaotic how was i ever a gameplay simblr with a vampire family of 9 sims its too much!! #everyones always tired or hungry and brie is stuck in her dark form and vlad is ADDICTED TO STEROIDS!!!!!!!! #sometimes he goes into their baby room and shoots it up and his little grey ass is out like SIR not in front of the baby!!!!

[lazer-cannon-deth-sentence]

siiiighhhhhh

#it's not that I hate myself it's just I am overcome once again with how useless I am #all I can offer to people is tiny donations from time to time moral support or questionable quality and sex #and art sometimes #whenever anything else and actually meaningful is needed it's ooh noo I am too tired my head is spinning I forgot to eat!!! #oh no I have to take care of myself!! as if that's important #and the government is killing us and killing them and they just don't care #and everyone has the wrong idea that everything is justified and they also don't care #they say in the dark times we must supply our own light and the good people are shining brighter and everyone's true colors are seen #and these are my true colors. laying in bed. having everything. doing nothing #being useless and not bothering to do shit about it.

[jedi-bird]

So because I'm on antidepressants now I'm apparently not allowed to have any bad days. Like, not sure how to explain that that's not how it works and that ignoring me and refusing to speak to me isn't going to help.

#vent post #personal #I'm just fucking tired today and need a distraction because yesterday sucked #i just wanted to go to a bookstore or a garden center for my birthday and instead i had to sit in silence while my partner played games #for literally the entire day while not speaking to me because they were concentrating #and half the time they wanted the lights off because the gets dark at times and they refuse to adjust the settings #so i couldn't even crochet or read without leaving the room which just made them whine about it later #and i know i don't expect anything anymore for my birthday but being ignored by the one person who promised to never do so hurts #it's like being a kid again and getting told that you're not important and that everyone else gets to dictate what you do on your day #when everyone else got treated like royalty on theirs #i sit at home all day every day with no one to talk to so it's not much to want to have some kind of interaction #and yeah I'm literally complaining about nothing but it hurts so much sometimes to be reminded that I'm not really worth much #i did get some presents and one way really nice #but to immediately after just be left alone and forgotten kind of makes me wish they had just actually forgotten #to top it off the night ended with my estranged family trying to text a different family member about how they forgot again to send a card #immediately followed by oops you weren't supposed to see that because we love and care about you #like please stop and just leave me alone #i don't want anything from you guys ever again because you expect too much in return #and i remember the shit you used to say about and to me and the blame you laid on me #just stop pretending like you care and leave me alone #so today is just hard for stupid reasons and i don't really have a reason for being super depressed but i am #and getting mad that I'm crying isn't going to help #i need a distraction and can't have one and just can't cope #might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't

[failfemme]

my pain is like dark matter (as i understand it as someone who failed a not insignificant number of science classes): i can’t see it but i know it’s there bc of the influence it exerts on everything around it

#if that’s not how dark matter works don’t fucking tell me i’m hot and that’s what matters #anyway i am so very good at not feeling my body but gosh am #i tired and tense and grouchy and sometimes my muscles give out on me seemingly out of nowhere

[keeps-ache]

HELLOOOOOOO WORLD [swings golf club towards the globe]

#just me hi #[it makes a really weird 'clonk' sound] #hi :> #i have eaten some vegi tables so i am Nourished!! i am Gassed! i've been Fueled! #not really tho i'm still a sleepy tired person of a blob :) #but at least i've been Fed :) #i also had a donut so that's nice #i'm gonna start sketching a silly ha-ha piece so i'll be back in maybe an hour w/ it if i can :D #also i dunno how but i ended up talking to my little sister about the backstory of one of my characters and she is Appalled with it lol #she keeps going 'but why did (this awful thing) happen to them???' and i get to say something along the lines of #'i dunno people suck sometimes and i like to make sucky backstories. wanna see them as a baby? :))) #' #kinda funny if you ask me #but anyway a neat thing that happened last night i had a Sentence pop into my mind and i wrote it down in the pitch-black dark #and i woke up the morning to find it more legible than anything i write when i can see it lol ;;;u;;; #one of the words very cleanly fades into being very light to average-darkness too which is nice #neat stuff :) #anyway gonna go find some ~music~ to listen to .u. #or maybe just like a video that's a couple hours long idk #it's harder to find videos like that on topics i like :/ #but ye #toodles i'll see you in the Between :D

[chillllii]

i regret getting a cat in my current situation

#vent #she always gets inti things that she's not allowed near #she gets on top of my pc she gets in my desk and my desk is messy so shut knocks shut around and off #if anyine tells me to just clean my desk i hope you get shanked stfu #she somehow gets randoms pieces of shit around my room and i dont know it's there ubtil i step on it #and she can only be in my room too otherwise she's outside and that's an absolute not #so she has very little space and i try to keep it dark so i can sleep cause i sometimes go to bed in the morning #and she wants to look outside so she will scooch over my makeshift curtain of an old sweater and towel plus my box fan i i #keep up there and knock it off on top of me when i'm trying to sleep #i feel like a tired baby rn i just want to sleep i just want to fucking sleep. ut instead my cat keeps me awake #i should not have my cat but teats start flowing the moment i thi m about rehousing her #i love that stupid fucking cat #i hate my home i hate where i live #i hate my stupid adress i hate how my house is not a house it's not even a trailer #it's a repurposed shed that i share with my brother #and then in seperate buildings there's a bathroom/mudroom #in a different buildong but the same room there's a kitchen that's also a living room that's also my parents bedroom #i fucking hate living here i hate living here so much please someone adopt me and my cat or smth so i can be out #ignore that i'm well past adopting aye just get me out if here #o cant even work cause i cant drive ti a job cause i dont know how to drive and anyone who could help me learn is busy with smth else #so i get stuck here with having to learn it on my own but i cant ever process when i try to stufy it all just turns blurry and into nothing #and then i jever learn it #please help me please please help me please

[desos-records]

suddenly struck with thoughts about the devastating concept of Jason Todd

because he was good. because he had a bleeding heart despite every reason not to. he loved school and was good at it. he was the first to be adopted, with little pretense of guardianship. he did everything he could to be a perfect Robin and live up to an impossible ideal. he only ever wanted Bruce and Dick to like him.

because he met Bruce in the same place and on the same day that Bruce's parents died--the single defining moment of Batman's existence. and he made Batman laugh. he hit the Dark Knight, Terror of Gotham, with a tire iron. he wasn't afraid of the man who turned fear into a weapon.

because he couldn't save his mother from herself, but he tried. because he was too good not to try and save the woman who gave him up. too good to play the Joker's game. the crowbar didn't kill him, the bomb did. he died knowing he wouldn't make it and tried anyway. he died a hero.

because other Robins have died, but none of them put an irrevocable tear in the mythos of Batman. because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe. he dies for the sins of his father. he was put to death by popular vote, sacrificed by the crowd. doomed by the narrative and doomed by the audience. the boy who only ever tried to prove he was good enough--wasn't good enough.

because he has every reason to be angry. because he didn't ask to be murdered, didn't ask to be brought back, and when he did everyone acted like he was better off dead. Bruce tried to kill him and nearly succeeded. he's blamed for his own death and blamed for his resurrection. he can never come home because the house is haunted by his own ghost.

because he's been the hero, the victim, and the villain. because his family and his writers and his universe don't know what to make of him. they don't know how to look his tragedy in the eye. and how can you?

it hurts to look at the hero who cannot be good enough, the victim who will only ever be angry, the villain who can sometimes be right. the audience hates to feel complicit and, in this exceptional case, they are.

#don't look at me #the writing potential of jason is so often wasted #death in the family still haunts me tho #jason todd #dc #red hood #he could be an exploration of tragedy #on the level of rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead #but nooooo #robin #batman #dc comics