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rowanswriting · 5 months

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“CALL ME, BAMBI.”

Rockstar!Eddie x Fem!Reader smut

this idea came about from a conversation that Mariah and I had @reidsbtch she also beta read for me for this one ((and helped me out so much I love you mar mar!)) I hope you all enjoy it I am so nervous about this, but have poured myself into it! Once again, only read if you’re 18+ please!

Warnings: basic dirty talk/name calling, mutual masturbation, mentions oral male receiving, degradation, if there’s anything I miss just let me know!

Summary: Eddie gives you the best gift you’ve ever gotten before heading out on tour.

word-count: 2.4K

“What’s this baby?” You ask curiously, looking up at Eddie his smile was so big you didn’t know how his face wasn't hurting. “Your last present, had to get you one more Doll and this one is very special.” You squint at him, slightly nervous at the tone of voice he was using. You shake the box slightly, hearing something heavy thump around in it. “Go on Bambi, open it.” He says, sitting down next to you on the plush carpet of your bedroom floor, your cat rubbing up against his leg lovingly before walking away somewhere, seemingly uninterested in the gift exchange.

You slowly rip the paper off of the box in your lap, smiling fondly at your boyfriend, you had emphasized that you didn’t actually need anything for Christmas but Eddie couldn’t stomach not getting you something. He spoiled you instead, before taking you to your room for your ‘big surprise’ or at least that’s what he called it. Once the wrapping paper is scattered over your floor you gently pull the box top off, looking down inside of it as your mouth drops open. “Eddie….” You trail off slowly reaching inside the box and pulling out a silicone dildo, only it wasn’t a store bought one, this was custom made. It looked just like Eddie’s cock, same vein on the underside, it even had the piercing at the top. You slowly looked over at the devil sitting next to you known as your ‘boyfriend’, shaking your head. “Baby, how did you even make this?”

He smirks at you while launching into this story of how he had to order this special kit at the sex shop, and wait until he was hard so he could stick his dick into the material, creating an exact replica of himself. You can feel your cheeks getting hotter and hotter the more he talks, you put the box down next to you quickly before grabbing onto his shoulders, swinging your leg over him to straddle his lap. He stops his rambling to look at you, his eyes full of the mischief that you fell in love with the first time you saw him. “I love it so much, love everything you’ve given me, baby, but I have to ask why? I already have the real deal right here.” You say, giggling slightly as you grind your ass down against his lap. He groans quietly, grabbing onto your hips and digging his blunt nails into them.

“My tour is coming up soon, and I just didn’t want you to go without. Couldn’t leave my sweet little Bambi with nothing to play with now could I? That wouldn’t be very nice of me.” He said darkly, his eyes lighting up at the shiver that physically made its way through your body. “I want you to have fun with this baby, want you to ride it and think of me while you do, it’ll fill you up just like me, well I mean it is me, but it still won’t satisfy you enough. I want to leave you aching for more.” You slowly pull your face away from where it was resting against his chest, looking up at him and biting your lip, running your hands down his chest down to his belt, playing with it gently. “I promise I’ll think of you every second, there’s nothing else I could think of, baby, you’re all that’s in my head.” He kisses you softly, moving a piece of your hair behind your ear before you’re slowly getting up from his lap. The both of you were exhausted after getting up early to start your Christmas traditions together, there would be time later for intimacy for now you needed sleep, all you could think about was calling Eddie while he’s away, taunting him with the fact that your dildo is deep inside of you, this was possibly the best present ever.

“Have everything you need baby?” You ask, mentally going through the checklist you had created to make sure that your sweet metal head didn’t forget a single thing he needed for his tour. He nods, pouting slightly as he stands by your front door, shuffling his feet around nervously. “No I really don’t, I need you to come with me.” He says, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace, one that makes your heart skip a couple of beats. You sigh, feeling a lump in your throat. You wanted nothing more than to drop everything and go with corroded coffin on tour, but you needed to work and your job wasn’t accommodating for extended vacations. “I wish I could baby, but you know I have to stay here, besides who’s going to keep Steve in check with the kids, Robin’s at college so someone has to help out.” You chuckle as he rolls his eyes playfully. You wrap your arms tighter around him, leaning up to kiss him sweetly. “I’ll miss you so much, call me as soon as you get to your hotel so I know you’re safe.” You whisper as he lifts your chin gently, planting a firm and wanting kiss against your lips. “I’m gonna miss you too babydoll, don’t worry I’ll call as soon as I get there, we can fall asleep together on the phone just like we used to.” You smiled at the memory, when you first had met you spent a lot of time apart so long distance phone calls were all you could cling to. You feel yourself tear up as he kisses you a few more times , whispering goodbyes over and over before opening the door and slowly making his way over to the tour bus sitting in front of it, the rest of the band already on board and waiting for him. He turns around as he rests one of his hands on the bus door, smiling at you. “Bye, bye Bambi my love, don’t forget to call me.” He yells, blowing you a kiss. You giggle before blowing one back, he dramatically catches it and pretends to fall back against the bus as he holds his chest. “Bye, bye rockstar!” You yell, watching him get onto the bus, the door closing behind him. You sigh quietly, walking back inside and closing the door, slowly making your way to your room to make use of the gift Eddie just gave you on Christmas, you weren’t sure how you’d last months without him.

It’s been four weeks since Eddie left on tour, you haven’t used ‘the gift’ much to say the least, each time you look at it all you can think about is how you want Eddie here. You needed him, his touch, his kisses, his actual dick. You had made up your mind one night to call him and use it, he had been waiting this whole time for you to finally let him hear what you think about when you ride it, and if you were being honest you missed hearing how he talks to you when you were all worked up. You glance at yourself in your bedroom mirror, you look good, dressed in your best lingerie even though Eddie wouldn’t be able to see it. You ran your hands down your chest, teasing yourself before shuffling your way over to your bed, opening the drawer of your nightstand and pulling out the pink silicone toy, before you’re slowly laying back on your bed, grabbing the phone to punch in Eddie’s room number he had given you before their show tonight. You bite your lip nervously as your other hand that’s not holding the phone slowly makes its way into your panties, teasing your own clit as the line rings. Your breathing picks up every second, partly from touching yourself, but the anticipation of hearing Eddie speak to you like you’re some cheap whore also has you reeling.

The phone rings a few times as your heart pounds nervously, you aren’t sure why you are this worked up over phone sex with Eddie, but you needed him to pick up now. On the other side of the phone call, Eddie is rushing over to pick up, he knows it’s you and he can’t wait to tell you all about their show tonight. “Hey Bambi, I’ve been expecting your call.” He says into the phone, your breath hitches, his deep voice causing shockwaves throughout your body. He sounded slightly raspy from singing, and it was extremely hot. “H-hey Eddie.” You whimper out, trying to keep your moans at bay as you pull your panties off, throwing them across the room before you grab the dildo next to you. You run it up and down your slit a few times, teasing your clit before you’re sinking it into yourself slowly. You let out a quite ‘fuck.’ That doesn’t go unnoticed by your metal head. “What’s that sweetheart?” A knowing smirk breaks out over his face, he can hear you, the desperation, the way you’re trying to hold yourself back so he won’t catch on. He caught on very quickly, it wasn’t hard when all he could hear as soon as he picked up was your wet pussy and your breathy little moans that slipped past your lips without you realizing. “I- said fuck.” You mumble out, pushing the toy deeper inside of yourself as Eddie lets out a raspy laugh. “Oh baby, you’re finally using it huh? How does it feel, sweetheart? Are you all stretched out and ready for me?” He asks, you nod and realize he can’t see you before you let out a soft ‘yes’ as you buck your hips up, pulling the fake cock in and out of yourself as fast as you can go. “Need you.” You whisper, moaning as you hit the spot you’ve been searching for. Your legs shake as you try to keep moving your arm but it’s all becoming too much. “You sound so cute baby, all needy for me, it’s too bad I’m not there honey I would have my cock so far inside that cunt, fucking you so deep you’d feel it in your fucking stomach.” Your eyes roll to the back of your head at his words, you quickly pull the toy out of yourself before you’re sliding off of your bed, bringing the phone down with you as you push the dildo against the floor, suctioning it before you’re hovering over it. “Are you going to ride it for me like I asked you to?” He says, you can hear a slick sound from the other end of the call and you know his fist is wrapped around his cock right now, furiously stroking himself as he imagines exactly what you look like right now. “Yes-sir.” You say, sinking yourself down until you’re resting against the fake balls at the bottom of the dildo, you’re so full you can feel yourself throbbing harder and harder as the seconds go by, listening to your boyfriend tell you every dirty thought he’s had about you while you’ve been away. There’s one particularly naughty one that has you reeling, he’s telling you how he wants to fuck you on stage, in front of everyone to show them who you belong to, he asks if you’d like that and you can’t even get out words. You’re a babbling crying mess as you bounce yourself down onto the cock, over and over, tears rolling down your cheeks as Eddie taunts you. He loves it when you’re this way, he’s laughing at you as you whimper, and beg him to let you cum. “Hmmm, I dunno sweetheart, do you think you deserve to cum on a cock that’s not mine?” Your legs ache as you hold onto your nightstand with your other hand, going as fast as you can without falling over, your body is getting weaker by the second, you can hear Eddie trying not to moan, his breathing is ragged and all you can imagine is his sweaty chest heaving up and down as he tries to hold back from cumming for you.

“Yes! Fuck yes please sir, I can’t do it anymore let me cum on this dick Eddie please.” You whine, your own slick is running down your thighs, causing the floor to be a mess, your heart is pounding as you look up, catching a glimpse of yourself in your floor mirror, your pussy is stuffed full, clenching around your toy. You look like a complete whore, cheeks flushed, your hair is stuck to your face, drool is running out of the corner of your mouth that you didn’t even realize was there. “Fuck, you can cum Bambi, I know exactly what you look like right now and it’s delicious, I can’t wait until I come back home from tour baby, gonna fuck you on every surface of your house.” You almost drop the phone as you stop bouncing, your clit throbs as you begin to cum harder than you can remember cumming for a long time. “Thank you, Eddie oh-oh my god!” He laughs again on the other end, jerking himself a few more times before his jaw is clenching, his stomach tenses as he cums to the sounds of your pleasure. “That’s it baby give me all of your cum, little whore.” He moans, his fist now covered in his own release.

The only thing that can be heard is the both of you coming down from your highs, your heavy breathing in sync as you pull yourself up and off of your floor, the dildo slips out of you easily as you stand up on your wobbly knees, gripping the phone as if your life depends on it. You fall back onto your bed, shockwaves still running through your body as you curl yourself up with Eddie’s pillow. “I miss you so bad.” You say, closing your eyes and sighing. “I know baby, I miss you more, we only have two more months and then I’ll be home for a while, I don’t think we’ll leave the bedroom if I’m honest.” You both laugh, as you roll your eyes at him. “Okay horndog.” He snorts, “Says the one who just rode a replica of my dick so hard that she couldn’t speak.” You feel your face heat up as he laughs on the other end. “Okay Mr. Rockstar, no one asked you.” The both of you bicker playfully back and forth, talking for hours slowly slipping into a blissful sleep. You couldn’t wait for Eddie to come home, you knew his jaw would drop when you tell him that you want to ride your dildo and suck him off at the same time. Your little rockstar needed to hurry up and get back to you, so you could thank him for the best Christmas present you’ve ever had.

#eddie munson smut #rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie munson x female reader smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie smut #rockstar!eddie smut #minors dni

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rafecameronsgun · 22 days

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Birthday princess

inspired by this(pornlink)

‼️warnings:rough sex,breeding kink,little of overstimulation,smut

aftercare in the enddd

So first of all,its my bday yey!!! Soo here is a little imagination of how i would like to celebrate it with him😚

very messy and not well edited btw :(

You felt both joyful and excited when Rafe offered to tie your hands with your ankles and give you hard backshots as a birthday present.

Your face pressed into the mattress,ass up in the air, nipples getting harder through the touch with the smooth sheet beneath you.

“Ready,princess?”he asks behind you

“Mhmm,fuck yes!”you muffle

He spreads your legs a bit wider to open up your pussy as much as possible because he wants to feel every inch inside you. He tightens the tie.

“Uh-uhmmm”you whine dramatically when he pushes the tip inside. He lets out a chuckle.

“What’s gotten into you?”he pushes it deep in your cunt with a long trust.

“Its just…feels so good!”you moan loud,needing to grip into something but its impossible since your wrists are glued together behind your back.

“Shit,so tight for me”he starts moving slowly,his cock devouring your insides perfectly,your wet mixing with his pre-cum.

“Faster!!”you raise your voice a bit when your pussy starts aching because of his teasing.

“Okay,miss impatient”he chuckles before grabbing on your hip and swinging his hips roughly forward.

“Holy shit”you moan out, clenching your walls around him”you fuck me so good,daddy”

“Then be a good girl and take it!”his breathing quickens with each thrust,his fingers so deep in your skin it will probably leave marks later.

Wet sounds and clappings filling the room each time you and his skin matches. You let out loud cries,pornographic sounds as he completely fills every little piece inside you. You two connect like a puzzle.

“Fuck baby,pussy so good i might breed you tonight”he groans out loud,reaching for the roots of your hair then pulling it back.”You want that,huh?Want me to feed your little pussy with my cum,yeah?”he talks in a hoarse,deep voice.

He fucks you so hard and good you are starting to loose your mind.

“Yes!!Daddy please,want you to grow inside me!!”you roll your eyes, a “fucked-out”feeling kicking in which would make you fall onto the bed,if you wouldn’t be wrapped up like a gift. His large hand lands a harsh slap on your ass-cheek.

“Mhmm!!so good!!”you keep moaning,whining.

“Gonna fill this cunt with my child,shiitt!”he groans hoarsely,his hand forming a tighter grip on your hair while his free hand reaches between your open lips to your clit,circling on it gently.

Now this is very over the edge,your cunt burning and your legs start to shake,needing to close them but he forces you open. A single tear running down your cheek from the overwhelming pleasure with little pain he causes.

“Cum for me,baby girl”he works his hands faster,your legs shaking and your whiny voice loud as you cum on his cock.

Two more thrusts and he holds your hip tightly into his own,his dick throbbing inside your sensitive hole,head falling back with a loud growl as he fills your womb with his hot seed.

Now you are laying on top of his huge body,both of you are naked and still hot because of the latest orgasm. He gently strokes ur hair,kisses your head.

“Happy birthday,little girl”he cages you in his arms,fingers caressing your back.

“Mhmm”you muffle with your eyes closed,very tired you could fall asleep right now.

“I love you so much,you make me so happy”he gives another kiss into your messy hair.

“You are a very special person,you know that?You are always so good for me.”

You bury your face more into his naked chest,not being able to form a single word but giving a little kiss to his skin,which currently means “i love you too”.

“Need some water?”he keeps comforting you,making you feel loved with every touch he gives you.You nod.

When he comes back from the kitchen he also brings a little plastic tiara with himself.

“Here you go”he hands you the water with a big smile,placing the tiara on top of your head.”My birtbday princess did such a good job for me,have to reward her”he kisses your stomach,then your lower stomach…going lowerrrr,his fingers opening your knees again. The little kisses on your inner thighs wakes you up in a minute,you slightly grab onto his hair with a sweet moan when his lips touches your pussy.

“I love you”his fingers locked with yours as he eats you out,his thumb caressing your small hand.

@sadfury @rafeinterlude @rafescurtainbangz @rafesmuse @starkeyisthelastname

#outer banks #rafe cameron #outerbanks #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron smut #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #smut #rafe imagine #rafe outer banks #birthday #birthday girl #happy birthday #happy bithday to me #helloooo #so badddd #anywayyyy

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dioriya · 15 days

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home, bakugou katsuki.

1.01k. fluff. sappy feelings and speaking through actions. pro-hero!katsuki. did i mention sappy feelings? this little guy is so important to me.

it’s warm at this time of night, the cool breeze through the open window providing just enough chill as to not be too overbearing. the curtains sway to and fro in its graceful dance with the wind. it’s light and curious, almost toying and catlike, and it’s entrancing.

the earth is still. no noise but the wind and its newfound partner, quiet sounds blending into the background. the coffee’s gone a tad bit lukewarm, and your phone lights up momentarily before slowly fading out.

you feel his presence before you see him.

katsuki bakugou is a plethora of surprises you’re still trying to figure out. gone is the boy who pulled pigtails and spoke with his fists — although a select few would disagree with this statement — and in his place, is acceptance. a gathering of discovering who he once was and emerging as something to be proud of. he’s still boyish grins and declarations of war and promised destruction to his path towards the glittering promise of success and fame that comes with japan’s number one are all still there, but there’s no denying the maturity steadily growing at the seams. unbridled anger has been confronted and recognized at last instead of being pushed to the side to fester at an alarming rate, his past catching up far too quickly than he would have time to prepare for, and it cost him.

it cost him a lot. far more than he would have realized. he doesn’t regret it though, and you’re proud of him.

a familiar warmth signals his arrival. heat spreads through your bones, unrelenting, and you lean into that feeling instinctively. a faint whiff of something sweet and a bit tangy fills the air, settling in with the heat, breathing in deeply the aroma of assured comfort and safety. exhaling slowly, you hum content, a soft sigh emitting past your lips as you set your mug down. the coffee’s no good now that it’s gone cold, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to make another.

fingertips graze over your skin and leave goosebumps in their wake, the pads of his fingers trailing over the sliver of skin between your sweats and t-shirt before his arms come to rest around your waist, your back hitting his chest with the faintest rustle of clothing. his warmth becomes shared warmth, and your body naturally curves into his hold like two puzzle pieces finally slotted together to paint the portrait of unbothered tranquility.

his chin hooks over your shoulder and he gently noses into your neck. hello, he says, thumbs skimming over soft cotton made material and rubbing circles into your hips.

missed you, you reply, eyes closed, your hands moving to overlap his. three squeezes in an unspoken form of i love you that doesn’t go unnoticed by the blond, who hums and squeezes your sides in return.

it’s moments like this that you cherish the most with him. where pagers are silenced for a suspended minute in time. where the world is dimmed for a brief second, motionless in its repose, and didn’t need a hero. didn’t need him. here, the word was blissfully narrowed down to comfort in his arms and silent shows of gratitude, and it meant more to you than anything else.

“you smell good,” he mumbles into your shoulder. you feel the faintest bits of a smile against skin when your quiet laugh fills the air, squeezing you once more. “stop laughing.”

“you’re tired,” you offer instead, and he grows quiet, slowly picking your words apart. it’s an old habit of his, not one of your favorites much less, but you allow him to peer between the lines and search for any double meanings. it’s routine, no matter how many times you reassure him you don’t mean any harm, but it’s more for him for you, anyway. who were you to judge? “you came home later than usual.”

you worry for him, and he still has a hard time letting someone other than himself care for himself. it still prickles at his skin, makes him feel scrutinized. the feeling of being held under a lens returns, but he immediately squashes it out. they care, so you’re okay. it’s okay.

“patrol’s kickin’ my ass,” he sighs out after a moment, and the admission is a whole other feeling he has to process. opening up took ages, but somehow, you had the patience and.. understood that things like these were hard. and he couldn’t be more grateful. “..missed you, though.”

he sees your smile without even looking up. maybe powering through weird emotions was worth it if he got to see it over and over again.

“you’re a sap.”

“you’re hallucinating,” is his quick rebuttal, and he feels your smile grow even wider, and a foreign tug pulls at his heartstrings.

comfortable silence falls between the two of you once more. you can see the sun beginning to sink below the horizon through your little window to the outdoors. the faint smell of coffee lingers in the air. the trees stand sturdy and trustworthy as their branches sway freely to a tune only they can hear, and it strikes a weirdly familiar feeling, almost like déjà vu.

katsuki stirs slightly, so you wait. moments pass, and then:

“you feel like home.”

his few words are muffled into skin, but it’s clear enough to be heard in its sincerity. the thought alone is near tear inducing, and he pinches your sides gently to bring you back.

“lost you there,” he starts. nonchalance hangs heavy in his tone, but you know he’s waiting for a response. and so:

“you were already home.” it’s spoken just as soft and you wonder if you had even said anything at all, but he knows. he knows you, just like you know him. words have never been a strong suit for either of you, but it’s there. the connection exceeds the confines of words that can only speak on your behalf for so long.

you were already home, you’d said. and he knew you meant it, too.

#if you think you’ve seen this before-you probably have haha #bnha x reader #bnha x you #bnha x y/n #bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bnha fic #bnha fluff #bakugou fic #bakugou fluff #boku no hero academia #bnha #bakugou katsuki

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acourtofwhatthefuck · 1 month

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Name Your Price — Amren x Reader (Starfall Week)

Hiiii! Here’s my little piece for @starfallweek 2024. I hope you all like it 💕my beautiful soulmate @greeneyedivy helped me name it 💅🏻

I used the prompt “character A finally makes a move on character B”. I’ve never written for Amren before so this was quite fun!

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 3.9k

“You’re sure you don’t want me to fly you back up?”

Cassian cocks an eyebrow at you, the steadiness of his hold dissipating as he tugs his arms from around you. Though your feet are on solid ground, it takes a moment for your equilibrium to right itself. Being in the skies is something you haven’t yet become accustomed to, despite three of your closest friends sporting wings. And being flown on Starfall is an experience entirely of its own.

“You’ll miss the best part,” Cass complains, peering up at the dark canopy above you. The sky is beginning to stir as the stars ready themselves for their journeys. It won’t be long before they’re soaring and crossing.

And tempting as it is to stay and watch the sight that never lessens in its magnificence, you feel…different this year. Like there’s somewhere else you ought to be. Someone else you ought to be with.

“I’m sure,” you dip your chin. “You go, Cass. Enjoy it.”

But he doesn’t move. He studies you head to toe, studies every shred of effort you put into your appearance — hair and makeup perfected, a stunning outfit hugging your body. You feel beautiful, no doubt — and yet you’re leaving after a mere hour of drinking on the balcony with your friends.

“You know she’s just going to be holed up in her apartment with the curtains drawn,” Cass says. “She hates Starfall.”

You cock an eyebrow. “Who?”

“You know who.”

Amren.

Is it little bit humiliating that you’re so damn transparent? Perhaps. But Cass is one of your closest companions — you can hardly expect him to believe that you’re simply leaving to return to your own home and switch your stunning dress for your pyjamas.

You shrug a shoulder. “I just want to check on her, is all.”

“Hmm,” your friend’s lips twitch. “I’m sure.”

With a roll of your eyes, you swat his ludicrously huge arm. “Go back to the party,” but you lean up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you — for flying me.”

“Good luck with the tiny little rain cloud. She’ll be even crankier tonight than usual.”

With a lopsided smirk and a fond — and annoying — mussing of your hair, he launches back into the sky and heads back to the House of Wind. You stare after him, wondering if you’re making the right choice.

Because when Amren says she wants to be left alone, she means it. But…you don’t know. Things have been changing. Things have been…different.

This is your third Starfall, since your move to the Night Court after the war. A native of the Day Court, it had surprised you to find yourself so at home in a place of starlight, so opposite to what you’d always known. But as one of Helion Spell-Cleaver’s nearest and dearest, you’d worked closely with Rhysand and his Inner Circle during those fraught times of battle and bloodshed — and bonded with them far more than you’d ever expected yourself to. Become an honorary member of their unit, so to speak.

And when Rhysand had courteously invited you for a visit to Velaris after the war was over, you’d known from the second your feet had touched the cobbled streets — this was where you were supposed to be.

Three years later, with a home here, a job as a Night courtier…it was hard to imagine you’d ever been anywhere else.

And perhaps the most notable and unexpected connection you’d forged was the one you had with the with the tiny creature whose barbed, edged words were — you’d learned — a sign of affection.

You did not understand Amren one bit. She was a mystery you couldn’t puzzle out, a being that was sometimes so harsh, it was hard to believe she had any warmth in her at all. But Rhysand giving the two of you a subject he’d needed you to research together had brought you closer, over the recent months. Had shredded through that trepidation you’d once felt around her and shifted it into something…different. Something exciting.

You find that try as you might, you can’t stay away.

And that’s how you find yourself strolling those cobbled streets of Velaris, dressed up to the nines and stars beginning to burst above you. You could be spectating the brilliant sight with your friends, but something tugs you towards the other side of the city. To the loft apartment with the sloping windows and the strange, intriguing female who dwells within

Indeed, as you approach, you find those windows to be blacked out. Blocking out the sight of what is occurring in the skies. You almost smile, but now you’re nervous and second-guessing yourself a little. You could turn away, go home — in all likelihood, Amren won’t want to see you.

But tonight feels different. Tonight feels like a reckoning.

So you swallow your nerves and decide you’re doing this.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You knock once, and a voice that is both nightmare and fantasy calls out, “Go away!”

Not unusual for Amren. She tells guests to go away, even when she’s invited them.

So you brace a hand against the door and call back, “It’s me.”

There’s a beat. And then small footsteps are padding closer. There are the sounds of bolts being undone, locks clicking. Whatever it is Amren feels she needs keep out is little more than a distant thought as she yanks the door open just a tad and eyes you suspiciously through the gap. Her steely gaze takes in your dress, hair, makeup. She lifts her chin.

“Why are you here?” she asks.

You shrug. Feel a little pathetic as you answer, “I thought I’d come see what you’re up to.”

“Why.”

“Perhaps I find your company to be just slightly more scintillating than Cassian’s.”

At that, there’s the briefest twitch of her lips. She masks it expertly. “A dead rat has more to offer in the way of company than that boy.”

You snort, rubbing at your arms. Goosebumps are pebbling your skin. The air is too brisk to comfortably be stood in for too long.

Amren studies you again, and too quickly for you to register, she’s widening the gap in the door and yanking you in by the front of your dress. She slams the door shut and gets to work refastening the bolts, sliding across the chains, securing every lock. It’s all you can do to stand and watch.

And then she turns to face you with a neutral expression — one that says that if you find anything peculiar about her behaviour, shut the fuck up. You know she won’t tell you what’s got her so on edge, so you don’t bother asking.

Instead, you turn, still rubbing at your chilled skin, and study the general disarray of her huge, open-plan studio apartment. Her bed is unmade, her trinkets and baubles scattered across various surfaces. And on the numerous overlapping rugs that cover the floor, a gathering of books, some stacked in a pile, others tossed aside, a few open on certain pages. It would seem she is spending the night going over your recent research.

“Perhaps a drink?” you ply, angling away from the mess.

She quirks a dark eyebrow. “Tell me, what is it about you and the others barging into my home and making demands of me?”

“I believe it’s customary to offer your guests refreshments.”

“I believe I didn’t ask for guests in the first place.”

Her words, to anyone outside your circle, would sound so sharp, so harsh. But you know Amren, now. That last sentence vaguely translates another meaning: I wasn’t expecting guests, but thank you for coming. Of course I’ll get you a drink.

Not that she’d ever say that in a million fucking years.

She saunters past you, towards the kitchen area. As she goes, she closes the open books and throws them onto the stacks. Picks up empty glasses.

“Don’t clean up on my account,” you say, knowing full well that she isn’t.

“I’m not,” she confirms. “I don’t want your clumsy feet treading on anything,” she places the empty glasses in the sink and turns to you. “What do you want to drink? There’s wine, wine, or wine.”

“I’ll have the wine, then.”

With the barest incline of her head, she turns her back to you. While she’s occupied, you take a moment to study the covered windows, everything that blocks out what’s occurring outside. Even the skylights are covered, and your lips twitch at the thought of her wrestling her way up there to fasten drapes over them.

It’s all so methodical, so thought out. And though you know she’d probably never tell you, you can’t help wanting to break down that barrier and know the more vulnerable side to her that is so unsettled by this holiday.

A glass is placed in your hand, and you clear your throat, ripping your gaze away from the skylight — but not fast enough for Amren not to notice.

“It unsettles me,” she says drily, surprising you.

You try your hardest not to blink at the offered snippet of information. “What does?”

“Starfall. What it is. What it signifies.” Taking a slow sip of her wine, she sits on the rug. You follow suit. “Those stars, beings, whatever you want to call them…they are on a journey. Going from one place to another. Perhaps from one world to another. That was once me.”

“…and that unsettles you…”

“Perhaps I know one of them, from many, many years ago. Perhaps they are an associate of a time and a world long-forgotten. A past friend or foe or—”

“A lover?” you supply. You’re not sure you mean to say it.

But Amren’s grey eyes slide to you, and one side of her mouth lifts into a wicked grin, bearing sharp white teeth. “Does that surprise you?”

“Yes. No. I suppose I know nothing of your personal relationships. Of what you like.”

“I like what I like, and I hate what I don’t like.”

You stare at her, thoroughly annoyed and thoroughly entertained. Speaking with Amren is so often trickery and riddles. No matter how much you may feel like you’re getting somewhere, she always leads you on a merry dance that circles you back to the first step.

“And what of you?” she asks, surprising you.

Your eyes snag on the way her razor-sharp black hair moves as she angles her head. The ends tickle the column of her long, creamy neck, adorned with a jewelled necklace. For one moment, for some reason, the sight makes your head empty.

But you shake yourself out of the bizarre reaction and ask, “What of me?”

“What do you like?” Amren asks.

You almost snort as you take a long sip of your wine. Amren is simply not somebody who asks questions about other people very often. And the topic of your love life seems like one that would be trivial and pointless to her.

“Are you asking because you want to know?” you smile. “Or to be polite?”

Another flash of those brilliant teeth. “Have you ever known me to be polite?”

“I suppose not, no.”

“So tell me, girl, what takes your fancy?”

Draining your glass, you set it aside and lounge back, bracing yourself on your hands. And perhaps the wine is already commanding your mind and blurring lines — because it tells you to glance down at the full lips in front of you, painted with red that’s deepened by the dark nectar she sips at.

You do.

Amren watches. The air seems to shift.

“Pour me another glass,” your voice comes out huskier than you intend, “and I’ll tell you.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

“Lions?”

Rare, for Amren to sound like anything besides being perpetually bored. An hour or so later — and too many glasses later — the two of you are sprawled back on the rug, staring at the ceiling.

“Helion keeps lions?” she turns her head to quirk an eyebrow at you.

“Yes,” you answer with a laugh in your voice. “Very real, very fucking huge lions.”

“I rather thought that Pegasuses were his thing.”

“They are. But his lions are a prided jewel of his — and a court secret that I absolutely should not be sharing with you.”

Her petite, lithe body rolls onto its side. She crooks her arm at the elbow and rests her chin there, staring at you through glazed, grey eyes.

It takes only a beat of eye contact for you both to break into laughter.

This is…unusual. And nice. Though the two of you have undoubtedly been growing closer, Amren always has a glass wall up that allows you to peer through but not penetrate. Tonight is the first night that you feel that…that you might be on the other side of that wall. That she might be letting her guard down for you.

You like it. A lot.

The laughter thinning out, she stares at you. It’s a little strange to see those sharp, angled features not appear harsh and ready to slice at anyone. She appears…open. Almost normal.

“Lions,” she repeats, in something like wonderment. “And they just roam about his private estate? Are they tame?”

“He has sprawls of private land on which they can roam freely,” you tell her. “That land is guarded very well, from anyone he doesn’t wish to share the sight with. The lions are very tame. There’s a rumour — though I never got Helion to confirm it — that they once walked on two legs and spoke our language. That thousands of years ago, a curse bound them to their feline form that even Helion’s vast libraries hold no answer to cracking. And since they weren’t able to break the curse, he and his predecessors set to ensure that they would, at least, always be safe and accommodated and able to live comfortably as they are. If it’s true, they seem perfectly happy in their lion bodies.”

“So Helion allowed you access to them? What are they like?”

You smile — at the images that the question conjures up, and the fact that you hold Amren’s interest enough for her to ask it at all. It makes you feel…proud, somehow. Like the cat that got the cream.

“Amazing,” you rest your arms behind your head, taking yourself back to that private land on which you spent so much time — just you and the lions. “They’re just…regal. The males have huge, brilliant manes. The females are so lithe and elegant. The cubs are painfully adorable. There are families of them. Sometimes, they fight. Often, they play. They love to snooze in the sun and frolic in the long grass. The youngsters love splashing each other in the lake. If they recognise you as someone they can trust, you can comfortably sit with them and stroke their fur. They especially like you if you bring them food.”

There’s such a long pause as Amren takes in your words that after a short while, your eyes slide to her, half expecting to find her asleep. But she simply stares at you. Quiet. Assessing.

“I think I would like to see lions,” she says after a moment. To her, it seems to be a huge confession. Something not easy to admit.

You study the perfect lines of her face. That face that appears in your thoughts when you’re trying to sleep, think about absolutely anything but her. You’re not sure you like how drawn you are to her. She’s so unreachable that it only makes you reach harder. So difficult to work out that sometimes, you question if she delights in your company at all.

It is, after all, you who always seeks her out. Since you began your research together, it’s been you who has found excuses to see her.

You who barged your way into her home tonight, while stars collided above you.

And you who might do something unwise if you stay any longer.

You clear your throat, breaking eye contact. Your head feels as though it’s filled with cotton as you sit up and announce, “Perhaps I should go.”

Amren pauses. “Why?”

“I didn’t mean to take up your entire evening.”

“You could stay,” she also sits up, tucking her legs beneath her. “You never did tell me what it is you like.”

You take a moment to just…breathe. You’re not used to Amren being so…warm. It’s dangerous. Exciting. You don’t know if it’s safe.

Slowly, you turn on the floor to face her. “I’m not sure you’d appreciate the answer.”

A dark eyebrow arches. She likes doing that. “Tell it to me anyway.”

Should you? Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Maybe you’ll tell her that thoughts of her keep you awake, not in the forms of nightmares but in the allure of fantasies. Maybe then she’ll cease all work she does with you, and distance herself from you, and you can rid yourself of these feelings—

“You are what I like,” you speak quickly, flushing hot. “Who I like. I was thankful when Rhysand tasked us to work together, because I was already drawn to you. It seems I can’t stay away—”

A flash of dark hair, the potent scent of perfume and wine, are the only warnings you get before Amren is in your face, her perfect mouth sliding over yours. Wine is the overpowering taste of the kiss, but there are hints of other things behind it — sweet vanilla and something floral.

It takes you by surprise, no doubt. But you push the shock away and sink into the rightness of it. Your shoulders slump, body loosening. You slide a hand up to tentatively cup Amren’s cheek, and you kiss her back.

What starts out slow and explorative quickly builds into something that steals the very air from your lungs. Your bodies seem to move in perfect synchronisation, finding the right positions from which the kiss can deepen and grow. Amren kneels between your legs, and a sharp tooth gives the slightest, twinging bite to your lower lip — one that makes you gasp.

The act is deliberate. She slides her tongue into your mouth, folding it around yours. Your tastes mingle until you’re not sure which is yours and which is hers, and that simply will not do. You want her on your tongue. The flavour of her skin and that scent of hers that is quickly growing stronger, thicker, shifting into something else that you would commit sins to taste.

Your fingers sink into Amren’s hair, and she makes a low noise that could be a warning or a plea. The strands, despite always looking sharp enough to slice through rock, are silken, soft. You fist them in your palm and tilt her head back to kiss her deeper.

But she pulls away, her heavy breaths landing on your lips. Her eyes meet yours, and it’s the first time you see her looking anything besides…steeled. Composed.

She looks flustered. Like pulling away from your mouth was the last thing she wanted to do.

“I don’t know what this means,” she blurts.

The admission makes you pause. You agree, “Neither do I.”

“No—not just this. What you do to me. I don’t know what any of this means,” she narrows her eyes at you, almost accusatory. “Emotions like these have always felt pointless to me, but you…”

“…but me?”

“You…” the word is leaden on her tongue. “You are different.”

Her gaze slides to your mouth again, and you can tell that her comfort is in articulating her feelings with actions, not words.

And that is just fine by you.

Like she reads the encouragement straight from your thoughts, a breathy word escapes her. “Yes.”

And then she’s fastening her lips on yours again and stamping out every shred of confusion. No matter what either of you are unable to say, the dance of your mouths can speak it all. For now, no more than that is necessary.

Amren kisses you, and you kiss her. It’s deep, desperate, yearning. It’s bigger than anything and everything. The stars that race through the sky pale in comparison.

This is the real beauty of this night. The real thing you had hoped for. It could end no better way.

You kiss until your mouths are bruised and tender. Until the taste of wine is gone, and there’s nothing but the two of you on your tongues. For all you know, the rest of the world outside this apartment could have disappeared. You’re not sure you care.

You’re the one to pull away this time, but you don’t move far. You part your lips to gulp down breaths and press your forehead to Amren’s. Your voice is a rasp as you joke, “You better not be kissing me just so I’ll show you the lions.”

She laughs — actually laughs. It’s a short, brusque chortle, but it makes you glow with pride.

But she quickly sobers. Her face is serious once more, her eyes drinking you in.

“I’m kissing you, girl,” she says, “because I think about you too much. Because the very first time I laid eyes on you, it scared me — what I might do to look at you forever.”

You try to mask your surprise. You hadn’t realised—

“It was me who suggested to Rhysand that you and I should work together,” she admits. She pulls back a little, as if urging you to read the honesty on her face. “It felt pathetic and foolish, but I did it to be close to you. I can’t stop myself wanting to be close to you.”

Exactly the same feelings you had tortured yourself with all this time. To think that Amren had agonised over it just as you had is comforting, somehow.

You reach out a hand, pinching a strand of her soft hair between your fingers. She watches the action closely.

“Don’t stop yourself wanting it,” you say, not at all sure that it isn’t a plea. “Don’t stop yourself, when I want it, too.”

“…I’m not used to being…unsure of things.”

“Embrace it,” you offer a smile. “Have fun with it.” With me.

She stares at you, brooding and calculating. You wait for her to decide that this is too out of the realms of familiarity. She won’t allow herself to be so vulnerable.

But then she moves her hand to yours — the one still touching her hair. Slowly, tentatively, she laces your fingers together. She stares down at your joined hands as though the sight is alien, fascinating.

“Stay,” she eventually says, glancing up at you. There’s an undertone in her voice, an inference.

“…the entire night?” you hedge. You try to keep the hopefulness out of your tone.

Her red lips lift into a smirk, grey eyes glimmering. “On one condition.”

“Name your price.”

Your heart picks up as she leans in again. Her hair tickles your cheek, and she watches closely as your skin flushes at the proximity. Her lips hover against yours.

But instead of kissing you, she whispers four words that land straight on your waiting mouth.

“Show me the lions.”

#starfall week #starfall week 2024 #starfall #amren #amren acotar #amren x reader #amren fic #acotar #acotar series #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fandom #acotar x reader #acotar writing #acotar fanfic #acotar headcanon #acotar fic #prompt

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iamasaddie · 8 months

Note

Hey babe :)

So for your celebration, i would looooove to read some somnophilia. I'm sure you'd write something fucking hot.

Have a beautiful afternoon 😘

Hello, my darling!! Thank you so much for this! Somno is something I've never written before, so it was definitely a challenge for me! I hope you like the finished product, ILY !

sweet dreams are made of this

paring: Joel Miller x f!Reader rating: explicit (18+ minors DNI) word count: 1,2k~ warnings: ER; somnophilia; explicit sexual content; male masturbation; thigh fucking; dirty talk; no use of y/n. let me know if I missed anything a/n: a very special and intimate thank you to @johnwatsn for being an incredible person and beta-ing this work <3 dedicated to @milla-frenchy MY MAIN MASTERLIST 1k celebration masterlist

He didn’t know what was so alluring about seeing you sleep. Naturally, he understood that a normal person would either ignore their sleeping partner, or find it adorable and move on. They wouldn’t feel the scorching blast of arousal shooting through their system, making their skin impossibly tight, prickling with needles of need.

Joel tried to find a reasonable explanation for his dick getting hard whenever he saw your lips parted, small puffs of breath leaving your mouth as sleep claimed your body with its tight grip. Was it the excitement of finally seeing you so relaxed and unbothered after the distraught you've been living through for so long? The mellow curves of your body that looked even softer now that you weren't tensed with consciousness? Whatever it was, it slowly drove him insane. Insatiable.

He gave in one night, climbing out of your shared bed and sitting himself on a chair beside it so as to not wake you up. Not only was he embarrassed with the lengths his need led him to, but it would also ruin the whole reason because of which he was doing it. Dropping his boxers to his knees, he choked his cock with terrifying vigor, trying to find that needed release while also not taking his eyes off your sleeping form. Your hair splayed on the pillow - what a luxury in the world that had ended more than two decades ago - like a halo, naked body barely covered by a sheet, in attempts to get some comfort during the nights filled with heat and humidity. Joel jerked his cock a handful of times before spilling his seed all over his pouchy stomach, biting his lip to suffocate the guttural sounds that accompanied his orgasm. He did that once, then again a week later, and again the next day until it became a nightly occurrence and he even forgot to think about the depravity of it all.

Tonight, as he sat in his usual spot, long-forgotten shame even less visible in the darkness of the room, something was different. For the first time, your sleeping body wasn't facing him; you had turned away the moment you crawled into the bed. Joel hated when you fought, but the safety and the constant close proximity sometimes triggered something in him, it also triggered something in you. A small slip in wording would end up in your fists flying and his chest getting the hits. You'd both scream words you didn't mean and it'd tear his heart into pieces. Sometimes you and him both would wonder if you should've gone your separate ways once you’d settled in Jackson, but the moment he'd brush your hair out of your face in a quiet apology, you always accepted. Or when you'd come to him from behind, kissing his shoulder blade through his flannel, you both knew that apart you'd suffer more than together. You hadn't had a fight for a while, so tonight it was a big one, you even smashed his only cup centimeters away from his head before storming into your bedroom. He quietly followed you after finishing off what was left of the bottle of whiskey and laid on the farthest end of your shared bed in a crappy mood. But when he woke up in the middle of the night to open a window and let in some air, his cock informed him about his usual needs.

That's why now he was rubbing his cock raw with his fist, but the long-awaited release was both on the precipice, and also as far away as the happy past.

"Fuck," he quietly muttered. At this point it was painful. The saliva he used already dried off and he was nowhere close to coming. But there was no way he'd be able to fall asleep like that.

Still, Joel climbed back to bed naked, leaving his boxers on the floor. As he lay down, his stiff, burning cock hit his soft stomach, smearing the precum on the skin. Against his better judgment, he creeped closer to you, spooning your pliant body from behind and inhaling your gentle smell. Sometimes it was the only thing that could bring him comfort, just the way you smelled, so warm and homey. So safe. You let out a barely audible sleepy groan and he was ready to apologize, but then you pushed your ass back, unconsciously grinding your plush behind on his naked and needy cock.

"Oh, baby, fucking hell," his moan could wake you up. It should've woken you up, but it didn't. Joel's hands became braver, moving from your shoulder and underneath your t-shirt – his t-shirt – to cup your sex. "You're drenched already, my love." He chuckled lovingly, pressing his lips into your neck and eliciting soft breathy sounds from you. "You better be dreaming of my cock."

His thick fingers circled the wet patch on your panties, dragging your slick up and down your lips. Moved by only his need of you and release, he pressed your body closer still, moving a little and slipping his cock between the plush of your closed thighs. The tightness of their embrace could not compare to the choking grip of his hand, but it was so, so much more preferable. Losing himself in your body was close to a religious experience, he still marveled at how he got this fucking lucky. Maybe he deserved it, maybe he did something right.

Your skin slicked by his precum gave the perfect pressure and friction for him to start losing his mind. The sweat covered his temples as he tried not to make unnecessary movements and wake you up. His chest was almost flush with your back, a steady pumping of his hips the only motion he allowed himself.

"Fuck, baby, every part of you can get me off." He knew you couldn't hear him, but he cradled a hope that maybe his voice would appear in your dream. Joel knew how much you liked it when he growled filth in your ear. "Wish I could slide into your tight pussy, but I don't want to wake you up." He continued his shallow thrusts, feeling closer and closer to the edge. His heavy balls were drawn up tight, ready to burst. "Maybe next time, when you're not mad and don't sleep in your panties I will just stuff your pussy full of my cock. Bet a pretty cock worshiper like you would love to wake up with me buried deep inside her cunt."

Imagining himself sliding inside your warm wet pussy while you were still asleep was his undoing. His cock started pulsing, spurting one, two, three thick long ropes between your thighs, almost feeling them now sticking to your skin. Fuck, how he was supposed to explain that?

"Fu- fuck fuck fuck fuuuuck"

He licked his top lip, sweat beading in his cupid's bow, and kissed his lover's neck. Joel's breathing was labored, his heart practically breaking his ribcage with the intensity of its beating that he tried to calm down.

"You know, you could've just said you were sorry." Your voice was sleepy, barely louder than a whisper, but it deafened Joel's unsuspecting ears.

"Baby, I…–"

You turned around, tugging his hands around you in a tight embrace, and kissed him sloppily on his lips. "I'm glad you came, but now it's my turn. You got another one in ya, cowboy?"

"Fuck yes."

_________________

leave a comment if you liked that, ily

#i am not a saddie #1k celebration #iamasaddie fic #Joel Miller x f!reader #joel miller smut

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captainofthedauntless · 7 days

Text

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Rise Leonardo x Reader imagine

Info + Warnings: Reader's having a bad time. It's fluff anyway. No gendered language, pronouns, or Y.N used for Reader. Friends-to-lovers type beat, yearning era. Set a few years post movie. Suggestive comments, maybe.

Commentary: This is not proof read.

He loves this.

Not- not whatever your head's doing, with the grim skies and that far away look you get every now and again and the fact that your sleep's shit and- well, not that.

The way you're laying on his floor.

He'd left the room long enough to grab some snack mix- because it's easy, it's quick, you like it, and there's something almost like nutrition there, protein probably- and when he walks back in, you're on your back on the floor, arms draped by your head, one ankle tossed over the other knee as you stare at the ceiling.

He has literal benches against the wall of the old subway car. A bean bag chair. Your favorite chair is in the corner, the one he's all but verbally declared your seat, that he always throws a hoodie in (out of convenience, mind you. That's all. No ulterior motives here, no sir). His entire bed is free- and made, thank you- and yet you're sprawled on his floor as though social norms are nonexistent here.

He really, really likes that idea.

"Comfy?" He asks playfully, moving around you with ease.

You hum a yes, and he glances back at you.

You're tired. He knows that already. But somehow, the bags beneath your eyes look darker from this angle. The weight that's been holding your sunny smile back from its full force is almost visible here.

He gets hit with a wave of want- want to fix it, want to hold you, want to make it better- so hard that he feels it physically, just beneath his plastron, fierce and yearning in his chest.

An irrational part of him thinks you must feel it somehow, because you glance over at him as it happens. "What?"

"Trying to remember the last time I swept," He quips instinctively.

You roll your eyes- the way that means you're amused, the way that he chases like a dog after a ball- and they settle back on the ceiling. "Somehow, I think I'll manage a little dirt."

It's not quite right. It's off center. Off the mark. Your voice- it's just to the right of where it should be. It's missing its shine, the playful way you meet him where he lives and make his quips-and-wordplay house your home too.

Luckily, he's pretty damn mobile.

So he moves. He nudges you with his foot, and you move your arm to lay across your torso and clear a spot for him, and he easily drops down next to you and passes you one of the bottles of water he'd grabbed and sets the snack mix between you.

He lays down next to you in whatever this other house is, and he can feel the cobwebs trying to cling to you.

"Hi," He says softly, staring at the ceiling.

"Hi," You repeat, and it's monosyllabic and neutral and means nothing but he feels like you're making a space for him at your table.

It feels like an invitation, an acceptance, like a "why don't you stay for dinner?".

He thinks he'd stay forever, if it'd help. He's good with a duster. He can help tidy things up, if you let him.

Leo wants to ask why you moved in. What brought you here, to this dreary, haunted-looking old place.

"Wanna watch some Vine greatest hits?" He asks instead.

Not even half an hour later, your breathing has all but convinced him that you're asleep.

He's fighting the urge to check, not wanting to risk waking you up somehow.

Instead, he reaches up and into his little viewing-portal, turning his phone down slightly where it's resting on his bed. (No tired arms, no piecing together a makeshift phone stand, no risk of dropping it on your face. As easy as portals are to maintain these days, it's a no-brainer.)

The screen goes dark as another compilation ends, and instead of hitting "Play" on the suggested video, he finds your face in the reflection.

You look asleep. You look tired, and it aches a little to see.

He can let his eyes linger, now, with yours closed, so he reaches up to turn his screen off.

You're still gorgeous, he thinks with a fond half-hearted frustration. Even exhausted.

When he gets into these dark places, he looks like a wreck.

When you do it, he wants to pull you in by the waist and kiss it better.

Fucking ridiculous.

He finds himself trying to match his breath to yours. Inhale, small pause, exhale, longer pause, inhale, and in that second small pause he realizes this is how he always feels. Like you're synced, like you give him a rhythm to rely on, like you give him something to orbit around when he's knocked out of place.

It's not a new thought, but the analogizing makes something shift in his chest to make room for the sheer size of the feeling.

He loves you. That's not news. You're one of his closest friends- his closest, maybe- and he loves you.

But he's been having the dangerous thought that he might love you, lately.

Might be in love with you.

And when you do things like instinctively look at him right as he glances your way and play off of his jokes like a tennis match and text him pictures of the sunset just because you think it's pretty, he thinks it's more than a might.

But now, something's dragging rainclouds into your sky. And you've found your way to his floor, his space, his company. Again.

He'd barely even had to offer it on the phone earlier, hearing the gray in your voice and tossing the idea of company your way.

You'd barely even had to consider it. You'd just said you'd have to stop by your place, first, and set your stuff down.

You were tired enough to fall asleep, and still came.

You're comfortable enough on his floor, in his space, in his company to fall asleep.

And, if the way he knows in his bones he'd sit here for forever if it means not disturbing you is any indication, he's fallen into something else entirely.

Something that feels like listening to the ocean hit the piers, something that feels like the humming of all of Donnie's security gadgets, something that feels like brushing against his Ninpō. It's familiar, consistent, comforting.

You make a little moaning sound eventually, rolling your shoulders some and inhaling deeply as you rejoin the land of the conscious.

It sends blood straight to his cheeks, and he tries not to think about anywhere else.

"Sorry," you mumble, voice thick and syrupy from sleep.

For half a second, he thinks you're apologizing for the sound, and he's trying to figure out how to tell you to never apologize for that ever, and actually, do way more of it.

Then his brain takes over, shuts his body up, and points out that you probably meant for falling asleep.

"Nah," He says lazily, the picture of chill. You could commit a murder on his floor and he doesn't think he'd care much.

"Didn't mean to fall asleep," You continue, groggy as you dig the heel of your palm into your eye. "How long was I out?"

He has no idea. "An hour, maybe?"

He catches your eye in the reflection on his phone screen, and you tense, and then you soften again.

"You weren't just laying here, were you?" You ask, in that gentle hidden-guilt way of yours, and he kinda wants to shake you by the shoulders until your brain reconnects and realizes that he'd just lay there forever if you'd let him, attention span be damned.

He opts to tease you, instead. "Oh, so when you think the floor is comfy-"

"You have a shell," You point out dryly.

"You think a turtle can't enjoy the floor? Rude."

You grumble something about it being too early for this, and he doesn't even bother to bite back his grin.

"Thanks," You say after a minute, catching his eye again. Your features are soft and vulnerable and open, and he has to fight not to turn to you, to let you stay in the safety of a reflection. "For being here."

"Always," He says immediately, not even considering it. It's instinctive, reactive, true.

It makes you smile, and he thinks- knows- he's a goner.

He gets three proper laughs from you before you leave.

Two actual smiles, too. They're muted, but they're there, and he hopes he can keep his mental snapshots of them for forever. Longer than that.

You're still gray, still muted, still hazy, but you're here. You're bathed in the multi-colored light of his room and comfortable and safe, and he's wondering how he ever thought he might be in love.

And when you finally do leave- late, and only because you have life again tomorrow- he portals you straight to your room.

He catches your hand impulsively on your way out, giving it a quick squeeze, and smiling in what he hopes is a reassuring manner when you look at him.

You give him a small smile back, and it's resilient and strong and it feels like hope.

You're resilient and strong and feel like hope.

He's in love.

"Wanna do this again tomorrow?" He asks, sounding much more casual than he feels.

"I don't want to-" And you cut yourself off just as he feels an eyeroll building in his skull, bracing himself to hear bother you or be a pest or something similarly insane. "...Yeah. I do."

He squeezes your hand again and grins, and he has to swallow back something gooey and too-much. "Just say the word, and your chariot shall await," He says instead, tilting his head towards the portal.

You study him for a second, something calculating and scrutinizing in your eyes. "Thank you," You say softly, like you mean it.

"Always," He repeats softly, like he means it.

You step through the portal, your hand slipping from his, and he gives you a little salute before letting it close.

He glances at his bed.

He lays down on the floor, instead, and makes a mental note to actually sweep.

#leonardo #leonardo x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #aged up characters #idk technically he's also aged down bc of future leo. idc #imagines #*writing #2018

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tired-teacher-blog · 3 months

Text

Characters : Tattoo artist Aizawa/ Florist fem reader

Featuring : Eri/ Hizashi Yamada/ Nemuri Kayama/ Oboro Shirakumo/ Emi Fukukado

Warnings and Genre : Fluff/ Romance/ Smut and Angst in future chapters/ Multi Chaptered Story

Summary : In a desperate attempt to get closer to the tattoo artist dominating every speck of your brain, you decide to pay him a visit one evening as a client seeking his service. This encounter will prove to be the beginning of something much bigger between you two, but will this new found passion be enough to stand against the difficulties your future holds?

Notes : Loosely inspired by this/ Art below is by the wonderful @/ael-draw who gifted me this gorgeous piece.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist|Third Masterlist

Chapter Count : Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11

_ "Eri says hi, we're on our way to school now."

You hold the phone closer to your ear, smiling fondly as he speaks, and picturing them stroll their way there hand in hand while he carries her cute little school bag over his shoulder.

_ "Tell her I miss her." you reply immediately with warmth filling up your heart.

_ "Just her? What about her father?" and you can feel the smirk lacing his words.

_ "Of course I miss you Shouta, very much." you breathe out longingly, wishing you could see him right at this instance.

_ "Me too beautiful, I'll see you tonight." and with that, you both say your goodbyes and hang up your phones.

Hours later, and his voice still plays in your brain like a sweet melody, and that same wide smile still refuses to leave you, only a little bit more until you see him.

Time couldn't possibly go any slower when you're awaiting for the moment to be with him, and you rarely ever do on weekdays due to your conflicting schedules, but fortunately you were able to work something out for today and decided to have dinner together in the studio between his appointments, it's not much, but it's more than you can ask for..

_ "Hello." a delicate voice interrupts your thoughts, and your head immediately snaps towards its source.

_ "Hello ma'am, welcome." oh, she's beautiful.

The clicking of her expensive beige heels pierces the calm and resonates across the walls as she steps inside while uttering amusedly, "what a nice atmosphere you have here."

_ "Thank you ma'am, you are more than welcome to take a look around." you have never seen her before, so perhaps she's here for a visit?

She's truly gorgeous, and elegant too, and you're now wondering what could her story be.

_ "So I want to buy a bouquet but I'm not sure exactly what to get, everything here looks gorgeous." she's taking a tour of the shop while speaking, her eyes study the blooms carefully before shifting her gaze your way.

_ "I'm glad you like what you see," you offer her a genuine smile, "I can help you choose, you see each flower and each rose carries a different meaning, so if you have a message that's hard to convey, you can pick a flower that helps with that."

She blinks a few times while hearing you speak before breaking into laughter, "but isn't that a bit too much to ask of a measly plant?"

Your body tenses up as you did not expect to hear such words from someone who has willingly walked into your shop, but maybe she didn't mean to offend you.

_ "Not at all ma'am, if the person receiving the bouquet is someone who likes flowers, then your message wilI surely come across." your smile is now forced, and your palms are starting to sweat as you strive to remain collected.

_ "I never thought they liked them but maybe I was wrong," her eyes are casting a darkness that you cannot for the life of you decipher, "well then, which one says I'm sorry?" her attention is back to the colorful roses.

_ "White roses or white tulips are the perfect ones for that, they express sincere apologies and seeking forgiveness, offering them to someone signifies the desire to start anew." you gesture towards the flowers you're describing and watch as she approaches them slowly.

_ "Alright then, I'll have ten of each."

_ "Of course ma'am." you quickly run to the blossoms and start cutting them carefully, counting in your head so you wouldn't miscalculate the lady's order.

_ "So how long have you been running this business?"

Her question catch you off guard, and you almost miscount the white blooms in front of you, "oh, I've been here for almost a year," you turn her way for a second as you reply, before returning to the work at hand.

You walk back to your counter with twenty delicate whites in your arms, smiling again at the lady before starting to carefully organize them in a bouquet.

_ "What about you ma'am? Are you here visiting someone? Perhaps the lucky person who will receive these?" you try to soften the mood as you ask.

_ "Yeah, that's why I'm here, I need to clear things up with someone." her voice is monotone and for some reason it's making you a little uncomfortable.

_ "I'm sure everything will go well ma'am, this bouquet will be an ideal ice breaker." even with your unexplained uneasiness, you still give her a warm smile.

_ "You think so? You must have a lot of faith in your flowers then." she scoffs with a role of her eyes that you did not need to witness.

_ "Uhm well.. I do, and I hope I'm right." you have never felt this anxious with a customer before, but you have to remain calm and cheerful regardless.

_ "What a cute tattoo." she exclaims with a nod of her head.

_ "Oh, thank you, yeah it's really dear to me." somehow, for some reason, you've always found solace in your tattoo, and you're almost certain it's the thought of him that brings you comfort rather than the tattoo itself, in any case, it's working yet again.

The woman remains silent after that, and you can almost feel her piercing stare digging holes in your whole body.

_ "Here you go ma'am, it's wrapped and ready, I hope you like it." you carefully pick up the bouquet, mindful of the graceful blooms as you hand them to the woman in front of you.

_ "Thank you." she holds it in one arm and hands you her credit card with the other.

It's almost over, she's almost out of your shop and you're almost breathing easily again.

_ "Thank you for your purchase ma'am and have a nice day." you bow your head slightly while returning her card.

The annoyingly loud click of her heels is finally heading away as she walks towards the door, and you allow yourself to heave a sigh of relief.

_ "Oh by the way, say hi to Shouta for me." and that irked expression she had on since earlier, is now replaced with an amused one as she closes the door after herself.

… What?

Shouta.. Shouta.. , she called him Shouta, not Aizawa like most people do, why? Who is she exactly? How does she know him? Was her coming to your shop intentional?

You feel like a fool, she was obviously mocking you until the very end, and for some reason you know that it isn't over.

Shouta.. who is she to you? Is she a friend? A family member? A client?

Countless questions battle within your brain as you freeze in place for God knows how long..

To be continued..

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munsonthings86 · 1 year

Text

you call eddie ‘babygirl’ unironically.

the first time you said it, it was nothing more than a joke. you’d just returned from work, brain scrambled from the strain and troubles your job gave you. coming home, you kicked your shoes off, finding eddie plucking away at his beloved guitar. it was a tune you’d never heard yet, reminding yourself to ask him to play it again for you later.

the sun was setting, projecting a warm golden light across the surface of his freckled skin. he hadn’t heard you yet, as he was engulfed in his music, scribbling down notes every few seconds on a crumbled piece of paper. he looked so happy. so content just strumming away on his guitar, face lighting up as he found the right notes to string together, the puzzle pieces falling into place.

it made your heartache when you realized it was the same way he looked at you. eyes smiling from his cheeks anytime they met yours. “hi eds,” you mumbled, socks sliding against the wood floor as you trudged toward him. mildly startled, his head snapped in your direction. “sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.”

he grinned, elated to see you. though you looked tired and stressed from the eight hours of torture you’d just endured, he didn’t think you could be any more beautiful. “‘s alright. you didn’t scare me too bad,” he paused, strumming a few more notes as you perched beside him, legs folded under you.

“i missed you today,” he frowned as he set his guitar down before rolling closer to you, caressing your thighs. you caught his scent as he kissed your cheek. it was a mixed aroma of marijuana and your favorite shampoo. you almost questioned it before you recall him pouting earlier that morning that his 4 in 1 shampoo had sadly ran out.

you were very happy about it though. no shampoo should have that many purposes.

he watched you intently as your fingers raced to his hair, missing the way it tangled through your fingers in all its soft, curly glory. the sunset pouring into the window of you two’s shared apartment brightened his pupils from the usual chocolate brown to a much paler one. his lips were so pink and so plump, begging for your own to be pressed up against them to relieve their prolonged loneliness. you did just that.

he looked so pretty like this. you couldn’t help it.

“i missed you too, babygirl,” you smirked, doing your best to conceal your laughter. you had meant for it to just be an internal joke. something you could giggle to yourself about whenever it ran across your mind.

“baby-what?” he laughed in disbelief, pulling his head away from yours to observe your features. you simply shrugged your shoulders, truly not having an explanation. “you heard me.”

his giggles were enough to make your heart swell, more than grateful that eddie was someone who was so easygoing. never taking himself too seriously, or anything for that matter.

it quickly became you two’s favorite inside joke, earning you weird stares from passersby overhearing bits of your conversation. it never bothered eddie though, as he found the faces they’d made hilarious, mimicking them when you both got back home.

eventually, the term of endearment had found its way into your daily vocabulary, uttering it to him even when you weren’t trying to be funny.

you’d return home from having a girls day with robin and nancy, finding him towered over the stove, hard at work on dinner. “hi honey,” he coos, warmth filling his chest at the sight of you.

“hi, babygirl,” you sigh, arms cold from the night air, quickly heating up against his skin when you hug him. he chuckles into you hair, embracing you.

he’d always find it funny.

when dinners done, he pulls you onto the couch, channel surfing for something entertaining though he knows you two will make your own entertainment with each other, forgetting the tv even existed. he paints your skin with soft kisses down your jaw, wrapping your legs around his waist. he lays you down on your back, finding sanctuary between your legs.

when it was all said and done and you both were accompanied by the stars and the moon the Hawkins midnight sky had to offer, he proved over and over that he was the farthest thing from ‘babygirl’.

#this was just a dumb idea i had #pls don’t make fun of me #but you get it #eddie is bb girl #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson imagine

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happyimaginaryme · 8 months

Text

One Piece Live Action review

WARNING: SPOILERS DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS!!!!!!

I went into watching this thinking it was going to tank. I honestly thought it was going to be a disaster like Dragon Ball evelution. I was worried about only 8 episodes with first season orgonally having 46. I was worried they were going to change a lot and take away a lot. Make it more dumb. I really had no idea what they were going to do.

I was wrong. The first episode had me shocked. Was there differences? Yes. But they werent bad. They made sense. I rated the first epide 4 of 5 stars. It wasnt perfect but it truly was a good opening episode.

The actrors were amazing. When I seen the postrs and trailors Inwas worried. Sanji missing his eyebroe, Usopp his long nose, and some of the CGI looked a little weird. That was one of the reasons had me worried. Yet the actors did such an amzing job!

Zoro is just fucking perfect. I love him. I love Love love love that they included Mr. 7 and Zoro's fight. That was shook and let me tell you I jumped and nearly squealed when I seen that. They don't show that fight in manga or anime. Its only mentioned.

Mackenyu Did a great job betraying Roronoa Zoro. 5 stars.

Though one of my dissapoitments when it comes to Zoro are three things: First his missing fight with Hatchi and how Luffy is introduced with Zoro. And His fight with mihawk. (Not that it was bad but that 3 people who witnese it I always thought was omportant were not there)

Not seeing Hatchi is a disapointment. However I can see why they may have cut him out. The live action is following the manga as close as it can while also being realistic. But we see Hatchi again in later arcs. Before timeskip and right after. It would be hard to justify soneone who worked for Arlong (who pretty much inslaved Nami) make him a good and likeable charector? I mean I dont hate Hatachi from the manga/Anime but I never understood why Nami would be okay with associating with him regardless if he wasnt one who did anything to her or not. So that could be why they left him out? Another reason could be time. They only had 8 episodes to work with. Could they fit a third fight sceen in the one episode? Hard to say. Or even his 6 arms could have been an issue. Not sure. But still I really like his fight with Zoro. Still the fight sceen with Zoro and Sanji working wonders together is amazing and makes up for it. It was still a good part and yeah its a sisspointment not seeing Hatachi but at the same time The fight and banter with Sanji makes up for it.

Now one dispoinment which is me more nit picking when it comes to Zoro is his introduction with Luffy. Luffy wanted Zoro on his crew by just hearing about him. He didnt see him or know him he was like "yeah? Hes a good fighter? Ima make him my crew. Then he heard what Zoro did for rhe little girl. I really really likes that from the manag. That being said! The way the live action did it was still really good too. Is it a slight bummer? Yeah but not enough for it to be bad. It still good and the point across of Zoro being a good guy stands.

As for his fight witb Mihawk. It was amazing ok? I loved it. Now what is a bit sad to see is no Johnny and Yadaku and Sanji didn't witness the fight. Again its more nit picking but hear me out! In the Manga and Anime Sanji watches the fight and hes angry. He is angry its not him going after his dream but also because its like Zoro is Waisting his dream. I always thought that was important. At least for Sanji's charector. HOWEVER because of the things they changed with Sanji and his story it probably makes sense. Ill get to that when I get to Sanji. Its also a bunner Johnny and Yadaku isnt in this but I get it. Time and money sometimes minor things need to be cut.

Overall though. Every thing with Zoro is jsut so good. Even the things I got a Tad bumbed at (more me nit picking) but even though I was the changes they made I liked.

Lets talk about Usopp. Usopp again I was a little bumbed with no long nose. I mean. Okay. It probably would have been a pain to either CGI it or wear a prostrdic. So I get it. That being said Jacob Romero did a great job! And the only Usopp to get the kiss haha. Now I was happy Usopp got the kiss. At the same time I am like "bah. No romance in OP lol" but damn the Usopp Kiya shipper in me was so happy! Honestly 5 stars for Usopp.

My disapointment with Usospp's arc was no Jango. Like this one I did not get? It was Jango that hipnotized the impoten Kuru to believe he was Kuru in the first place. So unless they are going to bring that into play later? Yeah I have to say thats one of the biggest disapointments. Again not enough for me to hate on or dislike the changes. I really enjoyed the arc. It was more darker and honestly sad to! Like they killed merry! He's supposed to survive! They also cut out Onion carrot and pepper but to be fair a gron man playing with 3 children? Weird lol. Actually I forgot about them until I realized that they were also missing. My more concern was Jango! Even so it was fun to watch. Different and more thrilling.

Nami my dear I enjoyed her. She isn't my favorate in any addaption but I still like the charecter. I thought Emily Rudd played her well. 4.5 stars. My only issue is I felt like she was a little stiff at times at first? But she really started to shine towards the end. Like she was amazing. If it wasnt for the first episode or two where I felt she was off I would give her 5 starts. Its again nit picking! Because she was amazing!

Lets talk about Luffy though. I thought Iñaki Godoy was amazing. Like he was amazing Luffy. 5 stars. I almost almost want to say 4.5 of 5 stars because there were times where I think Luffy would be smiling or doing something dumb he was more serious? But I didn't care so much because this isnt the Anime and its not the manga. Its live action and some things need ro be realistic. So I got it. And he the actor loved being Luffy and you can see he did his best at ir. Like he was made for this part!

Now I want to get into Sanji. I kept Sanji for last because he's not only my fave OP char he is my fave Anime/Manga char of all the anime/manga I read and love. Like he is #1 in my book. He is the Goat! So out of the first 5 straehats, if I was going to nit pick anyone it was going to be Taz Skylar's betryal of Sanji.

I was not dissapointed. He did a fantastic Job. I was impressed to know that he not only learned kick boxing and cooking he also did his own stunts. Fucking impressive for any actor. 5 stars. Dude. I loved it. We still got to see that anger and cussing he does but most of all we got to see his kidness.

Was there disapointments in his episodes? Yeah. It sucks that we didnt get to see his fight with Ging. That is one great fight. The whole Gin crying because he cant kill Sanji and taking the poison gas? Holy hell. I get it they didnt have time to do the whole don kerig saga. But daaamn that is the biggest disapointments.

Howeever! The changes they made was still good. Because if this serious continued and we learn of Sanji's past with Germma then I think I underdtand. Yes I like the Sanji disagreeing with Luffy to join banter and Sanji in general being more angry at the start. But his nonchalant more easy going side is.... refreshing and part of Sanji we dont see much until later. I like that they are focused on Sanji's kindness! Hes always introduced in the manga as 'A kind hearted chef who lives woman' in every issue of the manga.

The Live action is really focused on Sanji's kindness but also his silly side that he can be sometimes. Still top fighter next to Zoro. But more playful. In both Anime and Manga Sanji is seen eating and enjoying rhe party. But here in the live action he is the one cooking and serving. Like they are really highlighting the kindess in Sanji here. So yeah I was dissapointed that there was no Gin fight but. Again it was changed in a delightful way! Like I like the change. It was like the writers went to Oda. "Hey. We want to highlight Sanji's kindess how can we change this without xhanging his actual past story and what not?" And oda was like "well...do this" or something. Because it worked. They made Sanji's intro still sad as fuck wirh him and Zeff on the rock. The two still share the same relationship and they highlight Sanji's kindness. Also I kinda like the tone down womanizing.

Also the Zoro and Sanji bantering? My ZoSan shipping heart is like Yuuuusss!

So yeah I had some dissapointments. I was hoping for Sanji to witness the mihawk fight. Even if it was out the window ya know? I do feel like it was important. Alas. But all that asside I loved it.

One more char I want to talk about it Buggy. This mofo is brillant betryal. Still Buggy but darker. More intresting!

So over all I give it a 4 of 5 stars. Not perfect but still fucking fantastic.

#one piece #sanji #zosan #one piece live action #roronoa zoro #nami #usopp #luffy

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frankthesnek · 3 months

Note

Stevetony as #9 for the soft kissing prompts 💖 maybe right before they go out for a mission????

Thank you for the prompt!

(A Not so) Long Kiss Goodbye

Rated T

Prompt: a kiss before work

650 words

Steve read over the mission brief again on his tablet before abandoning it on the empty seat next to him. Looking out the back of the jet, he saw Tony. He wished the other man was seated next to him instead of flying solo. Tactically, it made more sense for Iron Man to head out alone. It provided them better intel and more ground cover—still he would prefer his partner at his side.

It was this over protective nature that kept them from running missions together very often. It had been laid out in more subtle terms to them both but had been made clear enough by the directors at SHIELD. It was only big, full Avengers protocol level, missions that had them working together in the field nowaday. Those missions were few and far between, thankfully. A new potential lead on Loki's missing scepter was what had them called together now. Not a global disaster but a branch of one that involved them all.

“You gonna strap in or keep giving him puppy dog eyes?” Natasha questioned as she ran through the final flight check for the jet.

“I can do both,” Steve countered and stood, making his way off the loading ramp back to the hanger.

“Make it quick!” Her words floated after him.

“Room for you on the Quinjet, Tony,” Steve opened as he approached the other man.

“Well aware, I did design it,” came Tony's mildly sarcastic response. “And thanks to certain people, I have gotten very well acquainted with the different seating and space options in the back compartment.”

Steve's lips twitched up at the comment, a soft glaze of honey glow touching his cheeks at the call back to some of their spicier, semi-public encounters. “You don’t say?”

“Hmmmm, need a refresher?”

The sound of Tony's low tone and hum distorted by the touch of metallic echo form being suited up made Steve's gut clench. He liked Tony in the suit. He only wished it didn't mean they were heading into danger.

“You two wanna get a room or what?”

Both men turned to see Clint grinning at them from the back of the jet, an amused looking Bruce elbowing him lightly.

“If we didn't have a mission to run, I would gladly take that suggestion, so don't tempt me,” Tony drawled back, not phased by the heckling of their friends.

Steve grinned at the exchange, more happy over their friends' acceptance of them than bothered by the occasional teasing. It was a far deal better than the level of tolerance he had grown up around—which had been exactly zero. The ability to openly show how much he cared for Tony meant a great deal to him.

“Not even time for a quicky,” Steve gave a put upon sigh, playing up his disappointment for the sake of their onlookers. He tapped lightly at Tony's face plate, the pad of his finger running along the slit of its pseudo-mouth. The piece of armor slid up out of the way instantly.

“Oooh nothing with you is ever quick Mr. Marathon,” Tony chuckled and smirked playfully.

Grinning, Steve leaned in and kissed the other man, lingering and slow—the motion of their lips as meaningful as words. Tony cupped a hand around Steve's hip, the touch far more gentle than the cold, hard metal of his suit should have allowed for. It made Steve hum and press harder, the tip of his tongue lightly grazing Tony's lip.

A cat call and sharp whistle from their friends was what forced them apart. Without missing a beat, Tony flipped them off and replaced the face plate all in one motion. A split second later, he was moving a half step back and taking off, leaving only the soft hum on the repulsors in his wake.

Steve ignored the good natured teasing from his teammates, content to stand and watch until Tony was out of sight.

#thank you!#asks #answers #writing prompt #prompt fic #stony #goodbye kiss #stevetony #kisses #team as family #drabble #ficlet #fanfiction #fan fic #writblr

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cairavende · 7 months

Text

Worm Arc 7 thoughts (I probably should have done this as two posts but I didn't):

WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, look at how my wonderful daughter takes the steps to communicate with Rachel in the way that works for Rachel.

And then look at how Rachel reaches back to do the same thing!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!

Taylor needs to take a longer rest and should not be sparing Brian the morning after the gala attack, but she quickly loses the opportunity to take a rest so whatever I guess.

Alec backstory! His father is fucking horrible oh my god. Kill him with fire.

WOLFSPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god the fucking suit made of bugs I was screaming. And then having it keep shape while crouching to make it seem like you turned into bugs? Having the bugs all make noise while you talked to make it sound super weird?! I'm in fucking love, look at how amazing my little girl is!

Taylor stabbed a Nazi. And later she stabbed another Nazi! I'm so proud.

The E88 list. Oh my god Coil, way to not think things through. (I mean, he probably thought it through and was ok with the outcome, but given that he wants the Undersiders on his team it doesn't seem like the best action to take.)

And the fucking drugged 12 year old Coil keeps in his bunker to run probability numbers for him? I wasn't expecting him to be good but god damn he turned really fucking evil really quickly.

Grue kneecapped a Nazi and I'm so proud of him. Remember, every time you kneecap a Nazi an angel gets its wings.

Lots of interesting powers on E88 (Night, Hookwolf). Too bad they chose to be Nazis instead of something cool. I hope Hookwolf get's melted down to slag. (Stormtiger's power, costume, and name feels directly out of 80's comics and I'm here for it.)

Did I mention the wolfspider moments? Taylor got her lunch! And then Rachel gave Taylor the good fetch toy so she could play fetch the the doggos. And the worked together to save the one dogs life! WOLFSPIDER!

Shit got awkward with Brian.

I hope Sophia gets hit by a bus that crashes into another bus. In a volcano.

If Angelica doesn't recover I'm burning down at least 5 Nazis. I think that's fair.

I'm sad that babies are fighting even though I get why Taylor is doing what she is. Being a villain is hard.

And we end with an Endbringer showing up which kinda makes everything else seem small fries.

Interlude thoughts - I like getting to see Miss Militia's backstory. I wish she wasn't "Guns and America the hero" because I actually think her personality and the way her powers work beyond the making guns part is pretty neat. Also she remembers what getting her powers was like which is super cool. Everyone gets a god piece I guess. I'm sure I'll learn more eventually.

More interlude thoughts - I love Dragon I wish they didn't run a prison so I could love them more. I love that she basically got through Poley the Polearm Man's "heavy security" in like negative 5 seconds. Anything to make him look bad. I will never like him, I refuse.

#Worm #Worm Web Serial #Parahumans #Cairavende reads Worm #Taylor Hebert #WOLFSPIDER #I'm sure the “Endbringer” isn't going to be that big of a deal and everyone will be fine #THEY HAD LUNCH AND PLAYED WITH PUPPIES AND THEN BEAT UP NAZIS IT'S SO GAY!

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fountainpenguin · 4 months

Text

"But I am even more than the two of them; everything they care about is what I am- I am their fury; I am their patience..." (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 16 - “Flare (Sniff, Scott)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

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While the Dog's Life server plays Session 2, SnifferMyFeet fights the offline Etho for control of his body... Scott and Lizzie recover from the shock of a wild caving adventure, Grian and Bdubs pay the Sushi Boys a visit, and Sniff and Jellie spend some quality time together.

(First 1,200 words under the cut)

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SnifferMyFeet - Player (Unthreaded)

Quarry: Debatable

Hunter: Frequently himself

Allegiance: Whatever this is

🖤 🖤 🖤

"So I guess that's the story," Sniff says, pressing the last piece of gingerbread roof into place. He melds it tight with a flicker of his crafting ability. None of the houses in the ConVex storage room are decorated with sugarcane, frosting, or chocolate chips, but maybe that comes later. The agent simply wanders to the corner and pulls out more cookie pieces so it can work on the next rustic cabin in line. The fact that it's dark doesn't seem to be a problem. Sniff doesn't mind it either. "I don't know, Weird Grian Agent… The cuddles are nice and all, but let's be real… I don't have a chance with Scar or Etho. I mean, Etho called me 'Joel' when we were snuggled up… I don't know if we're coming back from that. Maybe I'm afraid to express my true feelings because I worry that he'll never see me for who I really am."

The agent beeps a few times, not even looking at him. Sniff rolls his eyes.

"Gee… Thanks for that vote of confidence. You don't have to be so snippy."

This time the agent turns full around, growling low in the back of its transmitters. Sniff watches idly, wondering how hard he'd have to punch the thing to knock it on its back. The agent bleeps once more, then turns away as though it scoffed.

"Yeah, all right… I just don't know where to go from here. I mean, look at me. Right now, I'm a charity case just getting by on the kindness Etho, Cub, and Scar have shown me. Oh, yeah- and Grian, I guess. Beef… I'm not in the system. I don't have my own flat. Maybe Pig will let me share, but he always said he lives in a really cramped studio. I haven't even seen him yet since I came to Between… and surely he would've asked around for me, right? I mean, he's usually come home at least once by now. But if I go looking for Pig, I might get answers to questions about his private life I really don't want to have. Like about whatever's going on between him and TwoMuchGrian. You look like you know Grian. D'you know if Pig and Two are married?"

The agent ignores him, kneeling down. It starts setting up the first wall on a cardboard foundation. Sniff runs his fingers through the back curls of his hair, sighing through his teeth.

"I guess deep down, what I really want is for everything to go back to the way it used to be. I want my husbands back, but I can't just say it to their faces… I mean, if they liked me, wouldn't they already be dating me? Err… Grian and Joel."

No response. Maybe a stifled beep. Only one.

"This is just a lot to take in. I mean, I probably shouldn't be worrying about it right now. I guess I should take my time to get used to Between and let the rest fall into place, but if there's any chance, I don't want to lose them, y'know? So it feels weird breaking up with them if it's not hopeless yet. Plus, I'm bored… I miss Etho and Scar. It used to be that I barely went anywhere without one of them hanging around me. When they were gone, I always knew they'd come back- I built our bases or whatever. But now they might never come back, and I'm probably about to get dumped twice back to back by two people I really like who've maybe kind of sort of been leading me on, and that's really gonna hurt…"

The agent starts work on the second gingerbread wall.

"And I already know that if Pig had to choose between spending time with me or all his cam account friends, I'd never win. I mean, I've never won him over in that regard. I guess he's got Two? I think that was implied. I'm pretty sure he only came home when all his friends were at work and he was off. And I guess I'm grateful, because he could've just left me on that server forever… but, like, he never mentioned unthreading to me as an option? What's up with that?"

And that's a hard pill to swallow (emphasis on the 'aha'). Sniff flops back against the doorframe, draping an arm across his eyes. It helps a little. It almost makes it silly, and then it doesn't sting so badly.

I mean, when Etho told me about unthreading, I jumped right up. Why didn't Pig ever…?

It would've been nice. If when Joel went under for surgery reasons, Etho knocked politely at the door of his and Pig's flat.

I guess if one of my lookalikes ever needs my code again, Etho will be back. Maybe someone should "accidentally" bump Joel or Grian off a cliff.

"Things seem pretty good in Between, and there are all these other servers out here. Pig can go have fun with his friends any time he wants. I don't know if he visited because he liked me? I think it was just duty, boredom, and pity. Like, geez… I'm not as interesting as a thousand worlds to explore. And we're not dating; Pig knew how I felt about my husbands, so he didn't make moves on me, I think. Or he's not interested, but I don't care about that as I like fighting him.

"Although, it is a bit messed up that he never told me they were off the market… Well, I guess I don't know if they're off the market, but you know what I mean. I really miss them, though. Scar's snuggles are the best, but Etho really makes you feel special when he's affectionate. I really liked their hugs. And our old bases. I loved The Relation ship… and the Red Velvet Keep. I actually do miss those pandas… not that I'd ever tell him that; he'd get such a smug look on his face. I miss chasing pillagers with Etho. And the carroting. The way he used to take me apart…"

He trails off, cradling his cheek against his knuckles. He never did carrot with Scar (Too scared; too stressed; reasons unclear), but he did carrot with Etho. A little. Mind your own blummin' business. He sniffs then, pathetically, which is miserable in the sense that it grounds him to his name (like a boot heel twisting him into the dirt).

He exhales. "I know breaking up's the right thing to do… because even if they want to date me, we'd be building that relationship on memories that only I have. Mine are wrong, apparently. I don't know what's up with that; Etho said I probably have roleplay memories without the context that it wasn't real, so my brain invented its own context, though that still leaves me with a dozen questions… My sneaking around the hub hasn't yet led me to some memory erasing business. I'm just not ready to get double dumped. They might not think I'm worth hanging out with anymore…"

They're experienced players. They don't want some oblivious newbie sniffing at their feet.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

#trafficblr #SnifferMyFeet #EthosLab #Scott Smajor #Grian #BdoubleO100 #Lizzie LDShadowLady #Skizzleman #NPC Grian #traffic life smp #Sniff and Pig #ridwriting #Dog's Life #fic announcement #apparently art #Dog's Life art #cubfan135 #mcyt #trafficfic

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elvensorceress · 2 months

Note

For the WIP game

Tell me more about bluebonnets, please 😊

🌼

Hi, Ty! 💕

So, Bluebonnets is the "Broke My Own Heart" story that @eddiebabygirldiaz and I were working on once upon a time. It's set in s2 where the boys immediately start sleeping together in a "you're hot and I'm mad about it" way. Later they of course start catching feelings, but Eddie has to talk to Shannon and she wants to make up and try again. Eddie figures since he and Buck are just having sex and its No Big Deal that the right thing to do is break it off and work on his marriage. But at this point he's completely fallen for Buck. He's stubborn though and refuses to admit it even though Shannon quickly realizes that Eddie's in love with Buck and tries to get him to admit it. He won't. But then Buck gets crushed by the ladder truck and nearly dies and Eddie breaks. (Shannon also lives because reasons.)

There are snippets we've both posted this one being the crux of it all but I'll give you another little snippet 😘💕

Below the cut is Eddie after he had to break it off with Buck. Buck had made them dinner and bought flowers for him. They get broken when the boys argue about ending it.

Ask me about my WIPs

It’s quiet when Eddie walks into the door. The house is empty, and it will stay that way for the rest of the night. Or indefinitely. He’s not really sure. He sets down his keys, takes off his shoes, and goes to sit at the kitchen table.

When he lays out the bouquet, a tumble of bruised petals and broken flowers spill all over the hard surface. Deep blue puddles and splotches of venous blood, deprived of all oxygen. The kind that will never again return to the heart and be restored.

Does he even have a heart anymore?

He gently unties the sheer navy ribbon holding the flowers together so nothing more will suffer. Carefully, he gathers the fallen petals, the banners and the wings, sets aside whole florets, dissects out the damaged parts of each stalk, and places the ones that aren’t too injured in a blue vase filled with water and a sprinkle of the packet of plant food that was tucked away in the stems.

He tries to stabilize the surviving stalks with wooden dowels and loose loops of twine he digs out of a box in the storage shed. There are a few that aren’t broken, a few that weren’t casualties of being carelessly discarded, but all of them have missing blossoms, bare patches, bent stems.

He could dry the fallen florets and keep them. Just. To remember. He doesn’t know what he’ll do with them once they’re dry and brittle, even more fragile, but he sets them on a paper towel and leaves them on top of the fridge.

The ribbon has wires in the edges but the fabric is soft and delicate. He smooths it out as best he can and then folds it neatly. He’s not sure what to do with it either, but he can’t throw it away.

He can’t throw it away. He can’t throw any of it away.

He threw it all away.

He tosses the broken pieces too damaged to salvage in the trash bin, lets them fall from his hands, and they ache. He aches. Everything hurts.

It was just sex. Sex isn’t anything. It’s selfish and momentary, and lots of people have casual sex all the time. That’s all it was. It doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t feel anything.

He cleans up until everything is put back where it’s supposed to be.

There’s a wedding band somewhere. With a heart and a flower engraved on the inside. But he’s pretty sure it’s still in Texas. He took it off because it was hopeless. And he can’t exactly put it back on now. It’s not here.

It’s all hopeless.

The flowers will die eventually. They’ve already been cut, butchered, mistreated, sentenced to death. They’ll wither and rot and it’s only a matter of time before it happens and they’re gone forever.

It’s gone forever.

But right now, they’re in his favorite vase that his abuela gave him. Right now they still look vibrant, bright, colorful, like they’re alive and wild and blooming. Parts of them are gone but they’re still propped up and beautiful. They still smell sweet, like home.

He smells like home. Like he should be here.

Except he’s not supposed to be here.

Eddie is married. He made vows. His son needs his mother. Shannon is his first and only love. Buck only offered him sex. It was just sex. It was fleeting comfort and solace, not anything real. It wasn’t anything more than momentary relief.

Eddie leaves the bouquet in the kitchen, mangled and shoddily patched together as it is.

And texts Shannon that it’s done.

#buddie wip #jenwyn wip #fic: broke my own heart #buddie #tag games #wip game

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 2 years

Text

Will the Wise

pairing: Steve Harrington x Female Byers!Reader

genre: follows show plot lines, but will diverge from canon, obviously

WC: 6.2K

warnings: cursing, billy being billy, the very last part of this is a bit graphic mentions of blood, throwing up, deformed bodies (its not for the faint of heart basically)

summary: well aren’t you getting a bit cozy with Harrington. also will is going through some shit. also where the hell did Jonathan fuck off to?

A/N: ALL PARTS UNDER THE TAG -The Byers Harrington Story-

series masterlist

many thank yous to @alecmores, my proof reader. they are the reason i don’t sound like an idiot. also they said this was their favorite👀

THANK YOU FOR 200 FOLLOWERS!💗

previous chapter next chapter

The ringing felt like it lasted forever, when in actuality, it was only two rings before someone picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sorry to bother-” “You need a ride home?” “Yeah. No one is answering the home phone and Bob doesn’t leave until later. I just wanted to see if the offer was still-” “Oh, actually I have last-minute plans. Sorry,” Steve hissed in apology.

Disappointment seeped in, “oh, okay. I’ll try-”

His abrupt laughter on the other end stopped your sentence short, “I’m kidding, Byers. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” and then he hung up.

…

“Uh, Steve Harrington is asking for you up front,” Randy, a senior who works with you, mentioned when he walked into the break room.

Gathering up your things, you state “Thanks, Randy. See you tomorrow?” he nodded his head at you and you left the small room.

With your coat, school bag, and books in hand, you headed up front to see Bob seated behind the counter, and just as you turned the corner, Steve’s back was the first thing you saw. The fabric of his jacket pulled against his wide shoulders and shifted at the muscle on his biceps. The ends of his hair caressing his neck, a couple of pieces tucked behind his ear as they curled upward, just an inch from tickling the skin.

Letting out a jagged breath, you continued your walk forward and stood beside Bob at the counter, “so, I’ll see you later, Bob?”

You saw Steve turn around at the sound of your voice, but you didn’t want to notice him just yet. You needed a moment to compose yourself.

“We’ll see, Joyce hasn’t been answering the phone.”

“Yep, that’s why I had to call in my chauffeur. Isn’t that right, Harrington?” pushing the joking tone hard onto the words.

Steve turned his charming smile onto both you and Bob, just the simple pull of his lips threw your heart off rhythm, “At your service, Byers.”

‘He has no idea, does he?’ the intense effect he inflicts on you, something he does with just breathing, or even looking in your direction.

“Uh, well, hope to see you tonight, Bob,” you gave a wave as your final goodbye.

Steve walked out the door first but waited until you left to release his hold on it. He then rushed to the passenger side of his car and threw the door open for you, “Miss Byers,” he continued to play up the chauffeur role.

You grinned, “Thank you, Mr. Harrington,” and you slid into the leather seat.

You took those two seconds to just admire him as he jogged in front of the car to his side but snapped back to reality with a shake of your brain. ‘He and Nancy are still together, I think’ ‘They just fought, all couples have fights’ ‘That doesn’t mean they just broke up, or did they?’ ‘Nancy couldn’t say-’

“Got any plans for the upcoming weekend?” Steve making light conversation stopped the train of thoughts.

“Uh, not at the moment. Might just catch up on reading, or clean my room. We’ll see where the day takes me,” it took a minute to walk away from the noisy thoughts.

Looking from outside the front windshield staring down the highway, to sneaking a glance at Steve as he distracted himself with the empty road, his hands fiddling with the steering wheel. His beauty was too distracting for your brain, you whipped your head to the forest speeding past the maroon car, the blurriness and stillness allowing for your mind to wander. You kept your head tilted towards the window, your arm going to rest near the glass with your fist smushing into your cheek.

With your mind slowly leaving reality, you almost missed the next sentence that Steve spoke into the quiet car, “Would you be down to hang out with me?”

You thought your heart stopped beating for five seconds, your eyes widening at the forest. You didn’t say anything back right away, you didn’t even know what you could say. Steve was taking the initiative with this friendship and asking you himself if you wanted to spend time over the weekend, you thought this was a dream for a moment.

“If you’re free, of course. I don’t want to disrupt your reading or fall cleaning,” the grin evident in his voice.

Your brain started to catch up, “and what- what would we do, if we hung out,” the flirtiness seeping into your words, unintentionally you might add.

The boyish grin made another appearance, “whatever we feel like doing. What if I just want to be out of the house and bother you this weekend? How does that sound?”

‘Dangerous territory’ is a reminder for yourself.

“Well, if you do want to come over, you’ll just watch me clean. My room’s a mess, and if I don’t clean it up now, it’s going to get worse and affect my mood,” trying to keep this from sounding anything other than friends hanging out.

A grin appeared at your reply, “let's say I do come over to your house and keep you company while you clean, how would- how would Jonathan feel?” he was hesitant at the end.

“Uh-”, yeah, the two of them are still estranged, “I can see what he’s up to this weekend. If you do want to hang out and be bored for however long you stay.”

“Of course, I want to hang out with my friend, we’ve barely hung out since summer, and that was work,” a breathy laugh followed.

Friend

The word stung as usual, but it was the unabashed truth of your relationship, “yeah, feel like that’s a bit on me,” a sullen reply.

“Why?”

“Uh, work, school, family stuff. Also still getting used to being friends with-” “Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington?” Steve replied in a bored voice.

You nodded your head. Those were all truths used to cover the only other truth you couldn’t say aloud. That you had feelings for Steve, duh.

The slow drive up to your house brought the conversation to its end. The two of you sat in his car for a few moments, the engine still running to keep the chill at bay. Not knowing if the whole conversation was at its end, you slowly reached for your bag and books. You tried to savor these next few seconds before you left the car.

“Hey,” his voice called out, “is it okay if I call Saturday morning? I do want to hang out with you, plus I don’t have many friends these days and I don’t want to be home,” he revealed the last part quietly.

A beat passed for a moment. You forgot about your bag and books, instead turning slightly in the seat to face Steve, your left knee resting near the gear shift, “do you miss…being King Steve?” a quiet question, “you were the most popular dude in school, girls practically drooled when you walked down the halls, and all the guys wanted to be associated with you. And it seems you mostly hang out with Nancy or sometimes you’ll talk with me, don’t you miss Tommy and Carol? Don’t you miss your normal?”

His head leaned on his shoulder to look at you and then he copied your posture, his body turned with his right knee sitting near the shift.

“Sometimes yeah. I miss the attention at moments, but I was lonely. Sure, I was friends with Tommy and Carol, but they were assholes and self-absorbed. Plus that Billy dude is Tommy’s new friend basically, I’m easily replaceable,” he scoffed.

‘Not to me’, you wanted to voice.

He continued, “but slowly I just was getting tired of being ‘The King.’ I didn’t even really care about the title, I was just happy to be noticed by people. But I’m glad I was there that night.”

A furrowed brow at the statement, “The night we had to fight an inter-dimensional monster? Why? You could still be living your normal life if you stayed away?”

“Yeah, but my normal life was miserable, even if I didn’t voluntarily choose to notice it. And, as it might sound, it helped me notice you and Jonathan in a different light. I based my thoughts on what my parents have told me about your family. But you guys, you’re a close family. Always there for each other, I wish I had even a sliver of that. And I get to be your friend, so I think everything worked pretty well.”

He smiled at you, the boyish grin mixed with a light warmth, it almost made you feel like the sun was shining directly upon you. The corners of your lips followed in his action, a tiny grin appearing along your chapped lips, “Yeah, I’m- I’m glad we became friends too.”

Another quiet bubble between the two of you.

“Well…” you broke the space first, “I should head inside. Uh, you can call around ten Saturday morning, is that okay?”

With a grin, he nodded his answer, “See you tomorrow, Byers.”

“See ya, Harrington.”

And something in the way the two of you used the other's last name made your heart speed up. It felt different this time, like a potential future something.

‘Dangerous territory’

…

By the time you woke up from school the following day, Jonathan had already left the house. If he was in such a rush, why didn’t he bother waking you up? Very rude of him, also, what was he in such a rush for in the first place? After your little moment of annoyance towards Jonathan for leaving you in the dust, you got cleaned up and dressed for the day. Walking to the kitchen to see Joyce on the phone, “Did he get any of my messages from yesterday? Did you give-” she was pacing the small space while the other person, probably Flo on the other side talked, “No, no, I need Hopper. Just tell him to call me the second he gets in. Please. Thank you,” and she hung up.

“Mom,” She turned around to look at you, “you okay?” “Yeah, I’m fine, honey. Hopper’s just not returning my calls,” she faked a smile.

“Okay… well, could you take me to school? Jonathan hurried out for some reason.”

Just before she replied you heard feet padding down the hallway, “Hey. How you feeling, sleepyhead?” Her attention was stolen by Will, “any better?”

“Mmm-mmm,” he murmured as he sat in a chair.

“Same as last night? Still weird?”

“What happened last night?” you were out of the loop.

Joyce was focused on checking Will’s temperature with her hand before replying, “oh, he had an episode yesterday at school,” she got up to look for the thermometer.

Looking at Will he shrunk into himself a bit. You crouched down and placed your hands on his knees for support, “you had an episode? Was it- was it the Upside Down again?” you whispered the last part.

He shook his head no, and your brows furrowed, confusion evident on your face. Before you could ask him another question Joyce came back to check his temperature, “Honey, why don’t you see if a friend could take you?”

“Or I could stay home and watch over Will with you.” “No, you’re going to school,” a firm reply.

Sighing out, you turned to the landline. You tried Robin’s place, but no answer. Eddie’s, no answer, and those were your only two friends. “Why don’t you try Steve,” Will sang his name with a teasing tone. With a roll of your eyes, you turned back to the phone, but with a shakiness to your hand. Breathing out, you dialed the Harrington number just like yesterday and waited for a voice.

After four rings you were about to end the call when it suddenly was picked up, “Harrington residence,” and it wasn’t Steve's voice.

“Uh, hi Mr. Harrington. I was wondering if Steve was there?”

He sighed, “yes, he’s home. May I ask who’s calling at seven-thirty in the morning?”

“(Y/n) Byers, I’m a friend of Steve’s.”

His voice was pulled from the phone, but you could faintly hear him calling for Steve and your name being said.

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise. Need another ride?”

You cringed to yourself, “actually yeah.”

“Taking the chauffeuring seriously I see.”

“Sorry. Jonathan left super early and my mom has to stay home with Will, and Rob-”

“(Y/n), it’s okay. Be there in ten to fifteen minutes, okay?” “Yeah, meet you outside.”

You hung up with a smile then turned back to Joyce and Will. Joyce was looking intently at the thermometer that showed Will’s temperature, “is it a fever?” you asked.

“No. Uh, actually, it’s a cold,” she said perplexed, “do you feel cold?” she asked Will.

“No,” he answered, “just a little out of it. Like I haven’t really woken up yet.”

You and Joyce both shared a look of concern at what Will just told the both of you, “you promised no doctor,” he told Joyce.

“And I meant it. No doctor. You know what? I’m gonna run you a nice bath and it’ll warm you up and hopefully get you feeling better. How’s that sound? Okay,” and she left to start the bath.

“Will,” you took Joyce’s seat, “if you start to feel weird, like extra weird, tell mom and just have her take you to the doctor.”

“But-” “I know, but this is something we might not be able to fix with just a warm bath and medicine. Just please- just-”

“Okay,” his small voice answered. You took that moment to gaze at his face, taking in his features. From his dark circles to the moisture gathering under his hair. You wanted him to get the help he needs for this, but you knew not to push it further now.

With a kiss on his forehead goodbye, you gathered your things and headed outside to wait for Steve.

…

“Should I start expecting more calls from you in the coming days?”

His teasing voice greeted you when you slid into your seat.

He was wearing the usual outfit, his denim Levi's that hugged his thighs, a collared polo that pulled against his chest, and his light blue jacket. His hair was done also, as usual, loose strands near the front almost kissing his forehead, your fingers twitched, but you clenched them shut into a fist.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what caused Jonathan to rush off,” you let out in an exasperated reply.

“Hey, I don’t mind,” he turned to smile at you.

“But you have your own things-”

“I said it’s fine, (Y/n). It allows us to hang out together,” he shushed your concerns, “did you ask Jonathan about his weekend plans? Or ask if it’s cool for me to come over?”

“No, I was fast asleep by the time he got home. He’s been acting weird lately and I haven’t had the time to talk with him about it. I’m a bit worried,” you fidgeted with your nails.

While staring down at your nails, picking at the skin in a mindless action, Steve’s hand settled over yours. His larger, warmer palm settled over your smaller fist stopping your actions from continuing. You bore your eyes into his hand, your breathing at the same pace, but your heart jackhammering inside.

“Jonathan is fine. He’s always-” Steve stopped his sentence short when he realized the direction it was headed.

He took his hand away after that, you missed the warmth he brought, “you’re probably right. Jonathan’s always up to something,” trying to save Steve from his mistake.

Silence followed after. Neither of you knew what new topic of discussion would be best, you had one on your mind, you being an idiot went for the topic that was top two for ‘not the best’, “Parents are back I hear,” you tried a joking tone. It didn’t land.

“Yep,” he popped the ‘p’, “came back a few minutes after I got home from dropping you off.”

“Happy to see them?” You don’t know why you’re continuing this topic.

“Ecstatic,” he lied, sarcasm dripping over the word like honey.

With your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, you made a swift glance at Steve. His jaw was tense, his head leaned towards the window with a hand rubbing his chin. You slumped into the seat, wishing to make yourself small at this moment. You fully know not to bring this topic up when you can, because you know it’s something Steve likes to avoid and when you avoid something it means ‘don’t ask’. You would have asked about Nancy, but that was one you wanted to avoid.

“Need a ride to work after school?” Thankfully, Steve changed it.

You huff a sigh, “if I can’t find Jonathan, then probably. You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all, if it keeps me from going straight home, I’m completely fine with it,” he assured.

You allowed for the silence and the radio to fill the car for a few minutes. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable this time, at least not severely. The air felt tense, it suggested that both of you wanted to say something, but the other was too afraid to speak or say the wrong thing. You were afraid your big mouth would slip something out.

When the idea of just asking Steve if he liked Star Wars or whatever popped up, he opened his mouth first, “How’s Will doing?”

You stuttered, “Uh, he’s uh,” you weren’t sure if Will was okay with you talking about his current state. So you just settled on, “he has bad days.” You thought back to this morning and Monday night when he slept in your room.

“Does the doctor know anything?” Steve was trying to understand what you meant.

“Uh, he has…episodes. Of being in the Upside Down.”

Out of your periphery, you could see Steve opening and closing his mouth like a fish, trying to find the right response to that, “uh, well…”

“Steve, can we change topics?” “Oh! Yeah, one hundred percent!” he chuckled nervously. Now the silence tensed completely. You worried that if you even moved an inch it would make it worse. Luckily your saving grace was seeing the school coming into view, quiet sighs of relief leaving the both of you. In a hurry to grab your bag and books, your hands collide with Steve’s as he makes a reach for them beside your legs, your hand pulling back like he was a hot poker.

“What are you doing?” “Grabbing your books, duh.”

As you were going to protest, he grabbed them and left his seat, leaving you flabbergasted for a moment. In those few seconds Steve made his way to your side and threw open the door startling you, “(Y/n), come on.”

Steve didn’t hand the books to you when entering the school and he didn’t depart from you right away, he carried the textbooks and walked with you to your locker. ‘He’s probably looking for Nancy, that’s all’ a swift kick to yourself.

“If you still need that ride to work, just meet me at my car. All right?” He stated.

With a nod of your head, he released the books into your care and left down the hall. You watched for a few seconds as he left and you could see the slightly hunched look on his shoulders. With a look to your left, you noted that Nancy wasn’t anywhere in sight. A loud thudding against the lockers stole your attention, “Hey pretty lady,” a sleazy voice drawled.

Cigarette smell overloaded your senses, it was like being hit with the air of a casino. And the shiver that brought goosebumps along your arms made you feel uneasy like you could be walking right into a bear trap. With a slow turning of your body, you were assaulted by the sight of the new boy, Billy, the one Steve mentioned yesterday. His blonde mullet was in curled ringlets that framed his face, a rat stache forming on his upper lip. His piercing blue eyes dragged themselves over your face and then your body, and not discreetly. He made it feel as if you were under a microscope, he was the observer and you were the subject, it made you want to squirm.

“You’re (Y/n), right? (Y/n) Byers?” He was asking for your name as if he didn’t already ask around the school.

“Yeah, that’s me, unless there’s maliciously another (Y/n) Byers in little old Hawkins,” you tried throwing a joke mixed with the annoyance of his presence.

A Cheshire grin appeared on his lips, his tongue poking at one of the corners, “Not that I know of.” Another pass of his eyes raked your body, “So, how would you like to go on a date with me?”

He leaned in closer, his lips a breath away from touching your ear, “I can show you a much better time than Harrington.”

You jerked away from Billy, a look of disgust on full display. You fully knew what this was now, he was just trying to get at Steve, get his perv hands onto a girl that had some type of relation with Steve. He was trying to prove some type of point. It made you feel like a toy or a trophy, “No thanks. I’m sure your dick would be jealous that your hand has a new relationship. Don’t want to be a homewrecker.”

With a slamming of your locker, you walked away from Billy. The heat of his stare could have left holes in your shoulder blades. The whispers in the halls sounded like they were directly inside your head, everyone watching and gossiping.

You made a beeline for the bathroom, any place away from unwanted attention.

…

“I hate boys, Eddie. Fucking idiots!”

“Babe, I do too, but we’re sadly attracted towards them,” a puff of smoke was released.

With your elbows digging into the cool metal of the table, your hands covered your face and you tugged them down resulting in your face looking horrid. Eddie was seated across from you, his curly hair blowing with the wind. A cigarette was placed between his lips and smoke would plume out with every exhale.

Once lunch rolled around you hurried outside the brick building and rushed into the dense forest. Robin also wasn’t present at school, but you knew she wasn’t connected to whatever reason Jonathan and Nancy skipped. So it was either your loneliness in the library, sitting with Steve causing more eyes to land on you, or hanging out with Eddie. The answer was obvious.

“Billy fucking Hargrove, that douchebag asked me out, just so he could hold it over Steve’s head.”

“Yeah, very gross-”

You interrupted Eddie, “it’s not like I would have said yes anyway. He creeps me out, just looking at girls as conquests, prizes to be won and then thrown onto shelves to never be touched again.”

“Well,” Eddie cleared his throat, “you know who else used to do that type of thing?”

Steve

“I know- I know that Steve used to-” you huffed, “but I personally know that he’s not the same anymore. He’s dating Nancy-”

“Uh, actually, I think they broke up,” Eddie stopped your rambling.

“W-what?”

It felt like you physically stopped in your tracks, or you abruptly slammed into someone’s back. It throws you off balance with reality having this confirmation being thrown your way, sure you’ve been thinking about it ever since you heard their argument, and they haven’t been seen together for two days now. But, Steve never mentioned it, or he’s living in denial right now, or they’re just going through a rocky patch right now and taking a break. Giving the others their needed space before getting back together, many couples do things like that.

“Yeah, I heard they had some fight,” Eddie confirmed the gossip.

“Well… they’re probably just on a break, you know. Lots of couples fight and then spend time apart.” “That’s called a breakup, (Y/n). They fight and it usually leads to the end of that relationship, plus why do you care so much if they stay together? Aren’t you in love with Steve?” You choked on your spit, “In love! I never- I- Who,” nervous giggles spilled, “I never said the L word.”

“But it was implied,” Eddie teased.

“When was it ever implied?”

A smirk grew on his chapped lips and you knew it was a bad sign, “Oh, I like to think it was implied when you wanted to kiss me twice.”

Your mouth was agape with shock, “First off! I was intoxicated both times, and second I don’t know why my brain keeps warping you into Steve.”

“Because you lov-” he was singing, annoyingly you might add.

“No! No!” you tried to cut him off.

“(Y/n) Byers loves Ste-”

A hand over his mouth muffled his screech.

…

With no Jonathan at school, today meant another ride from Steve. With the bell ringing and signaling the end of classes, you waded through the crowded halls for a quick book drop-off at your locker. With all your books switched out and finished homework put away, you closed the metal door, excited for the weekend.

“(Y/n),” whipping around, you were faced with Steve who was leaning against your neighbor's locker.

“I thought I was meeting you in the parking lot?”

“Yeah, but I noticed Jonathan wasn’t here today, so I decided to just meet you here.”

He looked a bit hesitant when saying Jonathan’s name, he knew something, “Ah, okay. Well, I think I’m gonna call out today actually, I was gonna help my mom with Will. So I just need to call work before we leave, okay?” He gave a nod accompanied by a tight-lipped smile. He definitely knew something, and it was bothering him. You wondered if Billy mentioned this morning when he tried to ask you out, or if it had something to do with either Jonathan or Nancy. You wanted to ask, ask if he and Nancy did break up and if they did, were they gonna get back together. But you chose not to, for your own sanity, better to not know certain truths.

So, with a call from the payphone outside of school, a forced cough, and one annoyed James (a twenty-something co-worker), you and Steve headed off to his BMW. Between the short distance from the payphone and his car, the daggers being thrown your way didn’t stop for one second. Everyone who was in the vicinity watched the both of you head off, the whispers and gossip already spreading like wildfires. You kept your stride forward and head down, not wanting to entertain anyone at this moment, just wishing to be home right now and watching over Will. But once your hand touched the door handle you lifted your head and caught the direct glare of Billy Hargrove who was leaning against his car hood. You gulped and threw yourself inside the car. With shaking hands, you fasten your seatbelt and release a shaky breath.

“You okay?” Steve’s concern shone through.

“Uh, yeah. Might just need a nap when I get home,” not wanting to mention Billy’s stare or anyone else for that matter.

After a moment of Steve hesitating he finally pulled out of the lot, leaving the school behind for two days.

“So, you think I can still come over and hang out, sorry, watch you clean your room?” a cheeky grin.

“If you so desperately want to.”

“I do.”

A tingly feeling grew within you with just those two words, ‘dangerous territory’ another reminder.

…

Once Steve dropped you off, you went to check on Will in his room. You were shocked once you entered your home, drawings taped to every surface, forming something that you couldn’t see right now. So, choosing to ignore that you hurried to check on Will in his room and you stopped in your tracks at the sight before you. Together he and Joyce were asleep in his bed, Joyce was cuddling him with her back facing the door. She was holding Will tight against her chest with one arm thrown over his torso and the other resting still in his hair. A small smile tugged your lips at the display. With quiet retreating steps, you walked to your room and worked on a bit of cleaning so it was less messy when Steve came over tomorrow, trying to work around the taped pieces of paper.

After about two hours of light cleaning, you headed to the kitchen to get a snack when the sudden noise of loud pounding on the front door made you jump. With hurried steps, you reached the door and unlocked it, when you threw it open Mike was standing on the porch.

“Hey,” he sighed.

“Hi, Mike. What are-”

He cut you off, “Is Will here?”

“Uh,” a quick look inside the house, “You know what. Now is not a really good time.”

“Is he okay?” He was deeply concerned for Will at this moment.

You sighed, “Yeah,” you walked outside the threshold and closed the door, “You know, he’s…he’s just not feeling real well.”

You walked closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “He’s laying down,” with the hand on his shoulder you used that to turn his body in the direction of his bike, “So, I’ll tell you stopped by, okay?”

Just as you turned and headed back to the door, Mike spoke up, “It’s about the shadow monster, isn’t it?”

You turned your attention back to him, “What shadow monster?”

“In the Upside Down.”

…

“Mom. Mom, wake up.”

Once Mike told you about the shadow monster you invited him inside and rushed to wake your mom and Will. Will had slowly developed a sweat in his sleep, his bangs sticking to his forehead and the front of his gray shirt was damp with sweat. Joyce woke up with a confused look across her face, so you pulled her into the hallway, leaving Mike with Will.

“Mike knows something about the shadow monster,” and just that sentence made her rush to the landline and dial for Hopper. With you following just on her heels, you paced the living room, your nails being chewed between your teeth. With a huff, she recalled the number. As she was doing that you looked at the drawings that you assumed came from Will while you were at school today. With some still sitting on a nearby table, you grabbed a page along with a roll of tape and walked around the house trying to see if there were any empty spaces in need of filling. None in the kitchen, or the living room, the hall was complete, so you went to check Jonathan’s room. With slow-moving eyes over the space, you paid attention to any free spots, and one caught your eye, on the wall opposite his bed. With it taped up, you walked back into the kitchen where Joyce was sitting at the table, hands stressing at her temples.

“Mom?”

Her head jerked up at your quiet voice, “Hoppers not answering?”

A sigh, “No. I’m both annoyed and worried, I even called the station, but no one knows where he is.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, mom. He’s always fine,” you tried to comfort her.

She worried at her lips, the anxiety making itself present in her eyes, “I’m gonna check up on Will and Mike, okay?”

She nodded her head absentmindedly.

With a final look at her, you left the kitchen and headed down the hall. You pressed an ear against Will’s closed bedroom door, trying to make out just a sentence of their conversation. Not being able to hear much on your side, you slowly opened the door just a crack. With just an eye being able to peek inside you saw at the moment you opened the door Mike grabbed onto Will’s hand that rested on his thigh, and told him with such sincerity about something involving their conversation, “We won’t let him.” Mike was looking directly at Will, a deep intensity to his words and the way he held himself, and the way he gripped Will’s hand. Will was breathing harshly, his body gave a slight shake as he looked at something in the corner of his room, his eyes both blank but fearful.

At that moment you made yourself present with a gentle rap of knuckles against the wood door. The boys looked up and Mike removed his hand from Will’s in a hurry. Your heart broke with just that small reflex.

“Everything alright?” your voice was just an octave above a whisper.

They looked at each other, having a silent conversation with just their eyes. They looked hesitant in telling you something, so you decided for them, “Why don’t we head to bed early? Mike, I can get a sleeping bag, if you want to sleep in here?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.”

You grabbed a rolled-up sleeping bag from a cabinet in the hall and handed it to Mike. He went to the side near Will’s desk and laid out the bundle. You took Mike’s spot next to Will and reached for his hand.

“Will, if you want, I could sleep in here tonight.”

You made the offer to him, but it was one you needed to ask for yourself, and hope he said yes. You had to keep him safe.

He didn’t give a verbal answer, just a slow nod of his head once. So with that, the both of you crawled into his bed, Will facing his desk, facing Mike on the floor. You were now the big spoon, the protector of the two of you, the first line of defense when danger came.

With an arm thrown over his fragile body, you tugged him close to your chest, your chin digging into his hair. You inhaled his scent, wanting to make sure you remembered every little detail about Will.

…

Blood.

It was everywhere.

The walls, the ceiling, handprints spotted everywhere, footprints leading in different directions. It was everywhere in the room. Its scent invaded the air, the metallic smell assaulting your nostrils, burning the scent into your mind. The wet feeling of it coated your hands, streaks of it stained your chest, and spots dotted your face. Your hair was matted against your temple, a mixture of sweat from running until you almost collapsed and blood that seeped from an open wound. Your clothes had cuts and holes in your shirt and pants, the claws that clung to you with a fierceness, a predator clinging to its prey.

Bodies.

Bodies covered the floor.

Mangled and shredded, limbs bent and broken in different ways. Faces crushed in, eyes popped out, mouths hang open in an endless cry for help. Skin ripped from muscle, muscle ripped from the bone.

The bile rising from your stomach burned the lining of your throat.

A hand raised to your mouth to shush your cries of anguish, but then the taste and feeling of blood made it worse. Your body shook like an earthquake, the fear and anxiety pooling over the edge and you had no time to work through any of it.

“(Y/n)?”

A quiet, choked voice echoed through the room.

You twirled in different directions, trying to pinpoint the one person still breathing in this lifeless room. You rushed from person to person, each dead and deformed face staring back at you, it was like the room was taunting you at this point.

“(Y/n), help,” the voice cried out, so broken.

With one last push of will, you saw movement in a far corner, the shuffling of a body, the titling of a head, the limp wave of a hand. You hurried through the bodies, almost slipping on the blood, and fell to your knees beside the still-breathing body.

“Will,” you cried out, tears forming within your eyes.

His body was intact, nothing broken on the outside, the inside could be a different story. His skin was pale, and sweat droplets traveled down his skin mixing with the blood that streaked his cheek.

Your hands rested on the side of his head, your forehead resting against his. Your breaths mixed between the two of you, your tears dropping and landing on his nose or his cheeks.

“You’re alive,” you exhaled the words like a prayer.

Then a tight sensation caught you by surprise. You pulled away from Will and saw his hands holding your wrist in an iron grasp, if he held any tighter he might break your bones.

“Will?” fright seeped into the way you spoke his name.

“It’s all your fault,” he hissed the words.

“What?”

“Every single one of them is dead, because of you.”

You tried tugging your wrist from his hold, but it was no use, “I don’t- I don’t understand.”

“Your friends, your family. Every single person you love is dead, and it’s because of you.”

“No, no. It’s not- that’s not true.”

“Oh, but it is, (Y/n).”

Will, but it wasn’t Will, lifted himself closer to your face. His features twisted and pinched, he looked nothing like the selfless boy who you would protect with your life. He looked like a monster who captured his prey in an unsuspecting trap.

“Just you wait and see, (Y/n). In due time, we’ll meet again.”

------------------------

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#The Byers Harrington Story #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x byers!reader #strangers things byers!reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic #stranger things season two #stranger things self insert

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spikeinthepunch · 9 months

Text

thinking real hard about that new content in Painful bc i really love it-- while Painful did work well without more blatant explanations on Marty, Lisa, or Brad's past, it also meant there was some stuff I just never learned if i didnt play First at least (and my second play through of Painful brought even MORE clarity to me), and well honestly I just enjoy the deeper explorations of these characters. I already rambled about this content in a 2am post messily but now I am thinking hard about the cycle of abuse- specific to Brad and the general theme of new content in general being about how deeply rooted abuse is, improvement of yourself, letting go of guilt & anger and the importance of love.

in order to better break down the new content and how it adds things to the story i transcribed the new content-- queen's campfire dialog, mad dog's campfire dialog, and two large pieces of dialog from the nightmare scene. parallels! parallels everywhere! I uploaded it as a text file if you want to read it all yourself :)

also this means this post will be long as fuck. there are so many cool things to connect here.

This new content in Painful does a lot to express the years of shit Brad went through that further fed his issues. And while most of this ends up focusing on Marty (which I do thinks its important to not just throw Lisa on screen, her purpose is still as being 'off screen' for effect) it greatly helps Brad's character and the flashback to Lisa and him playing together or their convo before Brad runs away- fantastic addition alongside Buddy's later instance of putting makeup on Brad (made me extra sad)- and it 'humanizes' Lisa more. She existed- she was a sister with a brother and they hung out and had fun and they talked. etc. They existed in the same house and they endured horrible things.

I feel like this new content kind of hammered in the family like... the affect of abusive families. And what Brad has been missing from a normal upbringing, what he's lost after all this time because of abuse, and what he is desperately trying to get out of Buddy. At the end of the fight with flesh-mound Marty (we will be talking about this A LOT), this part especially feels like it reflects Brad's inability to not see Buddy as the redemption he needs, what he feels is the only thing to save him:

But if you stop. …if you do this. It's over. Dead. You know what happens. We can't let her out. She… She's gonna hurt us so bad.

Which also, I think parallels to Lisa too-- honestly. so much of what alludes to Lisa works well for Buddy and vise versa, for obvious reasons.

But the nightmare really just... you really get the feeling for how fucking exhausting it is. Brad is so tired and he's trying so hard. But the thought that says he will be like his father feels deep rooted- its his blood, Marty lives inside him, he can't fight it hard enough.

this next section of the flesh-mound boss fight ending has a clear conflict in his own thoughts. He recognizes it's all so tiring and it needs to be let go. But then it turns into anger at himself. And more likely recalling the tough words of wisdom his father gave him (or his grandpa too)

I know you're tired. All this anger. These memories. So many scars. So many mistakes. It all stings… So let it all go. You don't deserve it. The guilt is gonna kill you. Why can't you just let go? Be a man. When they hand you their heart. You don't bare yours. You eat it. Consume everything. Puke it up. Then eat it again. Eat like a dog. You know it only takes one taste. You know better than me. It's so fucking easy. And if you never stop… It feels so good.

Fun fact! The "When they hand you their heart. You don't bare yours. You eat it. Consume everything." gets referenced slightly in the new Joyful content, where Brad's friends are trying to recall some words of wisdom which they only recall as "Sometimes you need to just... Eat your heart out. Or something." Which implies Brad likely told them this line to some extent.

Oof. Probably my favorite excerpt from the boss dialog. Consume Everything. Puke it up, eat it again.... You know it only takes one taste. You know better than me... Marty's own behavior comes out here as he encouraged Brad similarly in other scenes. He's the one that's is in fact forcing Brad to get a "taste" of this. (Look back at the 'father' epilogue in Joyful). But he also makes Brad think that this is always all on him- by giving him the responsibility of "this is how men should be", it takes blame off of Marty and puts it on Brad for not "being a man" and thus, repeating these behaviors in a way that is often told to him as justified and as the right way to act.

He is constantly guilted and programed to this behavior in an extreme way by Marty taunting him, belittling and validating his own abusive behavior.

Let me cut over to Mad Dog's campfire scene. Yep! I promise its related (to me).

[cut to here. He is referring to what (seems to be) something his father said.] When I'm ready to die. We fight. You have to beat me. Then you will eat me. A dog in a dog in a dog in a dog. Hellacious. Miserable cycle. Never stop. Make. Us. More. Madness is a small cost. For power greater than love. […] Strength is our family. [Scene pans down the cliffs showing more and more skulls of humans and dogs hiden under ground. the next text appears on screen]: I love you… But I really have to go. [At the bottom of the cliffs, a spider much like the Marty-spiders appears, but with Brad's face instead.]

While this is something Mad Dog is saying as if its something his own father said to him, it seems pretty clear you can see the parallel to Brad. Honestly its way too accurate to ignore lol. the first line is strangely similar to things Marty says in the nightmare fight, and the "Dog in a dog" clearly feels very similar to the "eat like a dog" in that earlier quote i gave. Whats even more weird is the scene is pans through.

(Again not taking away from Mad Dog's own story, just explaining the parallel). The skulls that become more and more in the dirt feel like a metaphor for all the years of abuse, and the cycle of it. Now the Brad-spider? That surprised me.

Taking-

I love you… But I really have to go.

Feels like something related to Buddy. And I think this as well because of the spider at the end. Marty-spiders always felt like they were supposed to show how his effect is always there and you might now know where. His abuse still exists even in the smallest form. For a Brad one to be shown like that- I would read into it as how Brad is still going after Buddy, while his behavior is in fact abusive.

The hardest of it all is the imagery and the use of plural dialog too is that we really get to see how Brad feels like Marty is and always will be a part of him and that's what makes it so hard to change. And considering the above I mentioned, it makes sense.

We can't handle that, Brad. It's too painful. I'm not ready. We'll never be ready! Don't fight blood! Please! I'm fucking scared!

The desperation towards the end fits the idea of letting go of Lisa in the regard that the grief for her is also ruining Brad alongside his need to have Buddy as a way to atone for his behavior towards Dustin in the past, and try to not be like his father. And getting rid of that source is terrifying because it means a lot of scary things to him. The "us" and "we" keeps forcing that feeling that Marty is part of him, and that it really wants Brad to keep holding on because thats who he is. It is what he has been for so so long and he is terrified of letting go of grief because its what remains of Lisa in his head. And that letting go of Buddy would mean he is losing that opportunity to be the father he needs to be in order to prove he isnt like his father. These two reasons to not let go aren't good! They are not ways he should be living and he HAS to let that go.

But hey, thats not all. Let's get through the sad as fuck analysis okay? It'll get better.

As you descend a long rope as child!Brad you start to read a poem of sorts that I can only assume comes from Lisa. This excerpt also pops up in Joyful...

No friends. No brothers. No fathers. No mothers. Just me.

This gets repeated three times. Its weird but it always made me feel uneasy, and I think that is because it kind of focuses on how Lisa ends up being the core. When you apply this to Brad alone, it connects in the way that Lisa is the center of his grief and how that cancels out so much else in his life. Though i want to point out real quick-- it applies to Buddy in an interesting way that fufills their comparisons with the statues you destroy in Joyful. Very cool. And for Lisa it applies very blatantly. (No friends (Berny), No brothers (Brad), No fathers (Marty), No mothers (her own absent mom))

there is a LOT to this poem and you should look at that text post I linked to read it all. So I am just bringing up a one other part.

Deep below. A dark endless sea. A pain slumbers. One we'll never flee. Give me the strength. Let your memories set us free. So that when next we meet. I may grow into a mighty tree. [...] I know this wasn't easy. Thank you. …And Bradley, Good luck.

Oh yes, a step back to the boss dialog here, it's relevant:

I know you're tired. All this anger. These memories. So many scars. So many mistakes. It all stings… So let it all go. You don't deserve it.

This perfectly reflect points I have made up to this point regarding the way Brad holds onto his grief and even the earliest lines of the boss is trying to show him that. It's interesting that as the very start he's being so forgiving to himself then is devolves into more anger-- but here, once Brad has regressed, Lisa is the one to remind him this. I think its important to recognize how Its not about getting rid of Lisa's memory at all and this poem being spoken from Lisa (assumed) fits that. It isn't easy to recognize or to do this, it takes a whole different kind of strength.

In that text file i transcribed the end conversation between Brad & Lise where Brad says he is going to run away, but I won't be referencing it here... Do read it/watch it though.

If you read this far, good job! Just one more depressing thing though! The actual last thing said in the nightmare is great actually- for story telling. Because of course if this whole dream was trying to show that Brad has let go... well, it would kind of mess up the ending still carrying out with Brad still seeming unchanged.

Bradley, my boy. It's just not that easy. You can't save her. You can't even save yourself. After all… I'm in your veins..

Yes, thats it- thats the last part in the dream, where Brad sees a small flesh-mound Marty in blood. It doesn't ruin the fact Brad had this long ass dream. Its a great look into his mind. And how it entirely loops back. He really just... he really is stuck. You can see how damn hard he tries. But this theme of it being "in your blood" is SO fucking strong and it hurts. Because I think we all know, its not true. You are not fated to become the abuser. But god you can see how hard it truly is to fight what has been beaten into you for so long.

Right.

So looking at the parts where forgiveness are present... This pops up a bit in the new content- from this, too another campfire scene. I think the forgiveness and love sprinkled in is important to notice. A lot of people in Olathe in general are alone and without family. Brad has already been... alone, however. His family situation left him without affection, and an upbringing that left no proper parent to attach to meant he'd already not receive the affection he needed in order to give that to others properly. He had no one, and when he did finally have someone- Dustin- he still never received the love he didn't know he needed because of what was taught to him. And he did it again to Buddy.

This is obvious when you get to the end of the game. When Brad wants buddy to hold him.

And, Queen's dialog with Brad pulls a lot more of that conversation to the surface.

Being held by someone you love is the best feeling in the entire universe. […] These men out here. All this strength. This power. Your respect… you can't take it with you when you die. It wont save you. It doesn't matter how powerful you are. No ideas matter. No experience matters. None of that shit that's consumed you your whole life matters. You're completely naked in the face of death. Its terrifying. Now, a good hug. That matters. Honestly, it ain't gonna change much… dead is dead. But the way i see it. You can die afraid. Lost in your own mind. Haunted by the guilt of all your mistakes. Tormenting nightmares wondering what comes next. Or… you can be in the moment with someone you love. Someone that makes you feel like nothing else matters. Nothing could be more important than feeling each other's warmth and love. No thinking. Just feeling.

Brad's earlier chat included him bringing up how he didnt let Dustin or Buddy get physical affectionate too- theres some earlier chitchat that you may want to see in a video. But honestly the realization of how little affection Brad has received, due to Marty's influence, makes things even more depressing when you see how hard it is to let go.

Everything, everything is tied together. He can't let go. So he cant end the abuse. So he fails to ever change. So he never receives the love he truly wants and needs. By the end of the game, when you have that option to hold him, that new dialog hits even worse. And I don't think it is even to try and sway people into hugging Brad. if anything it kind of just opened up to me why Buddy shouldnt need to hold him. And how it is honestly something so much deeper. His struggle has infected everything he wants in life that he just keeps failing to have.

It depresses him, it discourages him. I can't even find more words to explain how heavy the weight is on someone like Brad after years and years of horrible abuse and never getting the help he so much needed.

#we have reached um 2.7k words w this one lads #lisa rpg #lisa the painful #lisa

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