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writeshite · 1 year

Note

would you write more of the smart cookie fic? im just very very into it and would love a part 2 🫶🏻

Love You To The Moon & Back

Summary:

“Good morning to you, too,” you kiss his forehead, and he mumbles something else, snuggling deeper into your arms. “What happened to the early bird catches the worm, hmm?” “....not a bird…no worms please….” he mumbles. “Hmm,” you respond, rubbing circles along his back, “How about pancakes? I think I might have some blueberries or chocolate chips,” you muse; Spencer peeks up at you. “Ah, I see I’ve piqued your interest.”

Pairings:

Spencer Reid x Male Reader

Tags:

Words: 4690

Author's Note:

Yes, you may 😌. I've been thinking of doing some more stuff for the AUs I make, cause it's fun, and I think male & gender-neutral readers need more AUs. Sorry for making this long 💀.

I found the experience of falling in love or being in love was a death: a death of everything. You kind of watch yourself die in a wonderful way, and you experience for the briefest moment - if you see yourself for a moment through their eyes - everything you believed about yourself gone. In a death-and-rebirth sense.

- Hozier

Around Spencer, the kitchen felt like a world away as he took in the feeling he was experiencing; with light, frivolous laughter, he hid his face in your chest to stop himself from falling into giddy hysterics. You were equally as giddy, chuckling when Spencer met your eye, “So…what now?” he asked.

“Well, we’ve got a few more hours of work,” you respond, chuckling when his face scrunched up in mock irritation, “but after, we could go on a date,” you suggest.

“Date?”

“Hmm, you know,” you respond, “that thing people do when they want to pursue a romantic relationship.” He smiles; admittedly, he hadn’t thought past the kiss, now surprised to find you wanted to cultivate something along the lines of an actual romantic relationship with him.

“Yeah, I know,” he responds, “what do you have in mind?”

“Well, the museum has a new Classics exhibit,” you reply, and Spencer is amazed that you’d genuinely been paying attention when he’d dumped his knowledge of 15th Century literature on you. “What do you say?”

“Yes,” he nods enthusiastically, excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet. The hours left at work breeze through fast, and Spencer spends most of it with dancing hands, a wide smile on his face - your date is set to 9:30 AM, Saturday morning. He goes home with a prep in his step, and when the weekend comes around, his enthusiasm soars; Saturday morning sees few clouds in the sky and the promise of sun. Spencer kept to his usual attire of casualness; the streets were averagely busy, and he twists the strap of his satchel on his way there, quelling any anxieties that manage to break past the excitement. Said anxieties are set aside when he notes how well your leather jacket hugs your arms.

“Hey, cookie,” you greet, hand reaching out to hold his.

“Hey,” he threads his fingers with yours, thumb rubbing circles on your skin as you make your way through the museum. The Classics exhibit displayed several kraters from c. 520-500 BCE, Etruscan figurines, Greek and Roman sculptures, and various other artifacts. Classics isn’t as interesting a topic it seems, as the crowd is relatively small, but Spencer is thankful for that - the overcrowded dinosaur exhibit you’d passed came to mind, and he shuddered at the thought of being caught up in that.

“Etruscan tomb painting….” You read off one of the displays before turning to him with a knowing smile.

“Oh, the Etruscans were a civilization that flourished in Central Italy between the 8th and 3rd Century BCE, renowned in antiquity for their rich mineral resources and as a major Mediterranean trading power,” he speaks easily, basking in the fondness you directed towards his rambling. “Much of their history and culture was either destroyed or assimilated into the conquering Roman Empire. Tomb painting is considered one of the Etruscans' greatest legacies, with beautifully painted tombs in Tarquinia, Cerveteri, Chiusi, and Vulci.”

The exhibit didn’t have the actual paintings, instead displaying photographic copies with annotations and interactive maps; the sculptures are set up to mimic the inside of a temple, leading to the back where the kraters are set. The other sculptures are scattered about the room, and Spencer beams when you turn to him for information, having spoken more today than he has in a long time. He coughs in the middle of his tangent about pediments; he rubs the back of his neck and apologizes for the scratchy throat.

You chuckle, “Come on, let’s get something for that cough, eh?” The museum’s cafe is surprisingly empty, with a few people milling about here and there and the majority off at the shops. You both get iced teas and take a table away near one of the window walls. Spencer keeps hold of your hand and drums his fingers mindlessly. He is saddened when the date comes to an end. “C —can we do this again?”

You nod enthusiastically in response, and still riding on the coattails of joy, he asks, “Can I kiss you again?”

“As many times as you like, love.”

He beams, leaning into your space to do just that, his thumb rubs across your skin, and even after you part for the day, Spencer is ecstatic - the joy persisting into tomorrow as he skips with every step. “Well, well, well, someone’s happy,” Derek remarks. “I hope this means you finally said something to loverboy.”

“Yup,” Spencer responds, “we, uh, had a date yesterday.”

Derek pats Spencer’s back with a proud smile, “You know what this means? I, Derek Morgan, was right.” Spencer shakes his head; any attempts to clarify to Derek that this wasn’t exactly an I told you so moment fell on deaf ears as the man smugly waltzed from the elevator with a cheer. Spencer follows after; when you arrive some moments later, it’s with two coffees as usual, and the day begins as the first of many days chasing an unsub through the Appalachian Mountains.

“It’s almost like some twisted sightseeing event,” Derek mumbles. “The unsub’s earliest activities can be traced in Alabama; they kidnap two people, and from what the surviving witnesses have said, make both victims fight to the death, the winner gets to live.”

“Ties get both killed, and refusal to fight does the same,” you add. “They’re patient, willing to wait for months if need be to strike again. The murders between Kentucky and West Virginia had two years between them; if they are following the mountains, then there’s a chance they’ll cross over into Canada and most likely out of our hands.”

“Alright, then, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen,” Gideon says, “What else do we know?”

“They’re also meticulous, the locations, the methods, the choosing of victims. It’s all so careful, like some form of entertainment,” Spencer responds.

The facts are as follows:

The unsub has little regard for other people, seeing them as pawns for their own amusement.

The victims appear randomly selected, but on closer inspection, all seem to play into their disturbing amusement. Features vary, but all work in the retail industry - the unsub walks through retail stores for hours before picking. They’d do the same company for two states before switching to another, then another, and another.

Victims had a week; after that, survivors were left tied, with a sack over their heads at their place of work, and corpses were left in the same place as well.

The unsub didn’t care for publicity and seemed to want to keep it as something private.

Pennsylvania is the next destination; the first victim is already chosen by the time of landing, which leaves one of hundreds if not thousands of other potential candidates. Spencer and Gideon stay with the local police department, you split off with Ellle, and Hotch goes off with Derek. Spencer bounces off theories and facts with Gideon; the profile becomes clearer but comes with a few more holes. The unsub seems well-red, familiar with police procedures, not intimately, more so like someone who’s read and heard extensively enough to understand.

“The space between murders suggests they must have traveling involved in their day-to-day life to be able to do so with such ease. Said life must offer them some satisfaction if they’re able to handle their urges so well.“ Gideon pointed to the mapped-out route of the unsub, “They could be in the tourism field, a flight attendant or a business consultant, something that lets them go from state to state easily enough.”

“Business consultants are sought after for their professional advice and services; they locate challenges in businesses and strategize plans to find solutions; they essentially come in and take over control, in the same way the unsub takes power over one’s life from their victims.” Spencer rambles, “but why target retails workers?”

Gideon sighs, “The higher up the chain you go, the less regard you have for your fellow man,” he states, “83% of retail workers report harassment from customers, the higher the social class, the worse the abuse can be. Our unsub’s disregard for human life may also be intrinsically linked to their social class as well as their occupation.”

“So everyone below a certain point is no better than cattle to them?” Gideon nods in response to Spencer’s question.

“Can I help you folks out?”

The Goodwill of the first victim’s kidnapping was small, residential houses all around; the community around it wasn’t small per se, but close enough to take note when outsiders came about. The manager, Naomi Hughes, is a kind middle-aged woman of relative height, hair in a neat row of braids along her head.

You and Elle introduce yourselves and draw out your badges, “We’re here about Hayden Mullins.”

She nods, “Oh yes…uh…come with me.” She leads you to the back and into her office, “Hayden was working the closing shift when he was abducted, I told him not to work it alone, but he was determined. Home isn’t the happiest place for him,” she explains, “I’d let him sleep here when his dad was making a ruckus, get some food in him. He’s a good kid; I don’t know why anyone would go after him.”

“Did he have any hostile interactions with customers in the days before he was taken?” you ask.

“Who doesn’t? Folks get real snappy when you can’t get them what they want.” She rubs her temple, “I had a customer scream at me 'cause we didn’t carry non-salted water,” she exclaims with quotation marks, “what the hell is non-salted water?”

Elle huffs and shakes her head, “What about friendly customers? Did you notice anyone who didn’t act the way you’d expect? Anyone who stood out for a different reason?”

Naomi purses her lips, “Now that you mention it,” she opens her desk and pulls out a file, “There was this one woman; she was nice, like really nice. She said she’d just come off a four-hour road trip, so we was ready for all sorts of tantrums, but….”

“But what?” Elle asks.

“She was sweet. Smiled at me and said it was alright when we couldn’t get her what she needed,” Naomi’s face scrunched up a little, “I was a little spooked if I’m being honest; I mean, I’ve had nice customers, but she was something else.” She shuddered, passing over the file to you, “I was gonna forget all about her, but….when she looked at Hayden,” she shook her head, “I got a bad feeling.”

Inside the file was a woman’s side profile - hair clipped back into a bun, light makeup from what you can note in the black and white frame, a neatly kept suit - for all intents and purposes, a regular businesswoman.

“Hayden was stocking the shelves, I think, and she got mad when he couldn’t man a checkout. Had to have her escorted from the premises, but she came back again —oh my god, do you think she—”

“We don’t know that yet, ma’am,” you interject, “this is still an ongoing investigation; we’re just looking into all the facts as of now.”

“Don’t blame yourself for anything that happened,” Elle tells her.

Naomi nods, “Promise me something, if…if anything happens, you’ll tell me before you tell the news, understand?” You both nod to her request and leave with the security footage and any receipts linked back to the woman.

“If this, April Walsh is our unsub,” Elle points to the picture, “it sounds like she doesn’t like to lose control, the ties, the refusal to fight, it was in the hands of the victims, it was anarchy….”

“....she can’t let it thrive,” you finish. “The store is already out of her comfort zone and control; what if she assigns roles to the people around her, say Naomi? Managers are notorious for allowing bad behavior, but when Naomi didn’t….” You get behind the wheel and drive while throwing around more theories.

“....she got angry. April told Naomi she came off a four-hour drive; how far is the last crime scene?” She pulls out her phone, and minutes later, she cheers, “Four hours, and eighteen minutes, it’s not much, but….”

“It’s something; let’s get back to Spencer and Gideon with the info.”

“Speaking of Spencer,” Elle chuckles, “a little birdy told me the two of you went out on a date.”

You groan and roll your eyes, “Seriously?”

“Come on, I mean, Derek’s been bragging that he got Mr. Lovebird and the Resident Genius together,” she quips, “plus, you two make a cute couple.”

You smile, “Thanks. At the very least, I know there’s another date somewhere in the future, so good things to come, I hope.”

“Oh, they’re definitely coming,” Elle remarks. You lightly smack her arm and laugh as you pull up to the local precinct. She raises her eyebrows when Spencer greets you laughing when you stick your tongue out at her.

“Hey, cookie.”

“Hey,” he responds, grinning at you, “did you bring me anything?” he quips.

“How does a potential name for our unsub sound?” You give him the file, “and also, a few more details to add to the profile?”

“I’d say it sounds good,” Gideon responds with a small smile. You and Spencer huff, amused and bashful - Elle relays the theories you’d bounced off each other in the car as Spencer pins April’s image on the board, while Gideon does the same to catch you up on what he and Spencer discussed while you were away. “We can brief the officers when Hotch and Derek get back.”

“It’s about two things,” Gideon begins, facing the “control and entertainment. The unsub does not care for anyone but herself; at best, anyone outside of that is a form of entertainment and, at worst, an annoyance.” He points to April’s security image, “April Kennedy Walsh is a business consultant, highly sought after from what we’ve gathered, and meticulous with just about everything, from her schedule to her wardrobe.”

“Her method of murder calls back to the gladiatorial fights in the Colosseum; the emperor and the people of Rome would watch as gladiators fought with each other or animals,” Spencer adds, “she feels no remorse for her victims and rewards winners with their life. Refusing to fight for her amusement might insult her in some way, as though she were an actual Roman emperor.”

“She fits in easily with the crowd from a distance, but up close, her disregard peeks through during moments of loss of control. She’s not shown any violent behaviors during those times, but it can’t be ruled out,” Derek passes copies of April’s photos, “and judging by how she took little time to disguise herself in any way, she’s not afraid of being caught. In fact, this whole chase could be another form of entertainment for her, the same way you or I sit back and watch TV.”

“The potential want to be caught doesn’t mean she isn’t using an alias and could be a way to challenge us, so be on the lookout,” Gideon finished.

The officers split off after the debrief, and you gather back as a group, “There’s a few other Goodwills from the first and a bunch more in Pennsylvania; we can’t search them all,” Elle points out, “and even if we did, she’s patient, she could just as easily wait until the smoke blows over before coming back.”

“We don’t have much of a choice; handing out her photo to the media could cause her to abandon the hunt too, and then we’d have no easy way of finding Hayden,” you say, “there has to be some kind of pattern between the stores she chooses.”

“She chooses the same two stores for each pair of victims, always employees, never managers; after two pairs, she changes stores,” JJ reiterates, “what if she’s following the road? Picking whatever store she sees on her way?” She looks at the map, hand trailing over the red pins set on the previous stores, “The first incident was in Huntsville, Alabama, from there, and according to her schedule, she had been on a back-to-back business expose.”

You pick up blue pins and place them outside the border of the Appalachian Mountains, “In that two-year break period, she was in Lancaster, Ohio.” You put a pin there, “then Richmond, Virginia. Maybe, the two-year gap wasn’t by choice or lack of available victims.”

“Personal tragedy? But we couldn’t find anything like that,” JJ sighed, “then again, we could barely find anything about her personal life. Her parents are divorced, and when I called and asked about April, they hung up on me really quick.”

“What are you thinking?” You ask.

“Well, what if this disregard for people started early? Her mother was a judge, her father a surgeon; I’d say that’s enough money to cover up any accidents,” JJ theorizes, “both high-pressure jobs might have caused the divorce. But why not speak about their daughter?”

“One or both parents could have felt guilty, argued with the other about covering it up, then,” you shrug, “divorce?”

You dial Garcia’s number and wait as the tone rings, “Mistress of all knowledge, how may I enlighten you today?”

“Hey, gorgeous,” you greet, she scoffs on the other end, and you can imagine she’s rolling her eyes.

“Ah, my favorite work of art,” she greets back.

“We need to know if April has any juvenile records, sealed records, anything like that, and if her mother was involved in having them buried.”

“Okie dokie.” She types fast a few clicks later and, “Wow. I’ve found a couple of things, most of them cited as isolated incidents and common behavior among children, but one sticks out, November 23rd, 1999, the same year Judge Walsh resigned from her post.”

“She give any reason why?” You inquire.

“Nope.”

“Alright, thanks, Garcia.”

“Anytime.”

You relay the information, “The divorce happened the next year,” JJ mumbles, “let’s see if we can get those records open.”

November 23rd, 1999. April K. Walsh attended a camping trip near Lake Michigan; during a scavenger hunt, one of April’s buddies - Sam Goodwin - was found face down in the waters; the leading theory was Sam had gotten distracted and veered off the trail, with little experience swimming, Sam may have slipped into the water, panicked then subsequently drowned. The children had been paired into groups of three; the third child, Emma Chavez, had insisted that April had done it, and one detective had shot in the dark - months of investigation, and it looked like April would be facing time in a juvenile detention facility.

“What juvenile detention facility did she get sent to?” Gideon asks.

“None; close to the trial, the whole case fell apart; the next year, Judge Walsh resigned from her post and got a divorce.”

“Phone calls won’t cut it,” Hotch states, “we need her parents down here now.”

Joshua Walsh - now a retired surgeon- stayed close to Lake Michigan after the divorce and never remarried. Sofia Phillips - previously Sofia Walsh, post-divorce, she moved to Vermont, remarried, and had two more children before returning to work as a judge in a more minor position. Both refused to look each other in the eye; Joshua appeared more saddened, while Sofia was irritated.

“I’m sure you have a good reason for dragging me all the way here,” Sofia grumbled.

You knew very little of Sofia Phillips, but from what you could gauge, she held herself higher than others and regarded the investigation with about as much regard as buying the wrong flavor of juice.

“Yes, ma’am, we wanted to ask about your daughter, April,” Hotch replied.

“April? Please, I don’t have a daughter called April anymore.”

Joshua scoffed, “Yes, you do, April Kennedy Walsh,” he turned to her, pulling out his wallet with shaky hands; he riffled through it before holding a picture in her face. “She had your eyes, remember?”

“Yes, I also remember her being dead to me, Joshua,” Sofia responds, glancing away. “She was always troubled. I tried to be a good mother, but sometimes you just can’t beat that attitude out of them.” She crosses one leg over the other, “I thank god I was blessed with two wonderful children after her, kind, obedient, nothing like April.”

“Hypocrite much? Where do you think she got it from, huh?”

Sofia rolls her eyes and glances at Hotch, “Are we finished now? My son has a recital in a few hours.” Hotch nods, and she leaves without a second glance; Joshua stays seated, shaking his head with a sigh.

“April…she’s not a bad kid…just lost. Sofia and I didn’t expect to have kids that early…I mean, we coped, but our jobs….” He looks at the photo again, “I tried as best as I could to be there, but Sofia…I wish I did better."

Joshua reluctantly recounts the event of November 23rd, 1999, alongside his divorce and any other moments before and after that point. The Appalachian Mountains had been Joshua’s dream destination, Sofia, to no surprise, had constantly been vocal about instilling the appropriate life goals in April - high grades, top careers, appropriate connections. The stores chosen all had qualities Sofia had cited as detestable, with Pennsylvania’s first Goodwill reminding her too much of her least favorite architecture - brutalist architecture. So going off that, the next Goodwill would have to be similar in style as well. This new detail leads to a few counties over.

April Walsh doesn’t fight when caught; appearing exhausted, the only other emotion she shows is a mix of relief and joy when she sees Mr. Walsh again, but it’s brief. She sits without prompting, crosses a leg over the other, and makes her only demand, “I’d like to speak to my father—”

“Give us Hayden,” Hotch counters.

“Who? Oh, the retail worker,” she scoffs, “he’s perfectly safe, tied and unconscious in room 345, Liberty Hotel. Now, can I please talk to my father?” Hotch nods, leaving for Hayden with everyone but Gideon and Reid. Hayden is unharmed, drowsy, and confused when he awakes.

You slump into your seat on the airplane, Spencer sits by you, and you lean your head against his shoulder. “No one wake me up for anything,” Derek mumbles across from you, lying across two seats to nap.

“You look bored, cookie.” Spencer glances over at you; the others on the plane have either gone to sleep or relaxed in their seats.

“Maybe, but I’m not sure there’s much to do in an airplane.”

“We could play a game —not that kind,” you remark; he’d raised his eyebrows, and a light blush had dusted his cheeks, “we can do that at a later date, Dr. Reid. Right now, I was thinking of something like the ABC game.”

“ABC game?”

You sit up, “On long car rides, my grandma loved to play it; we choose a topic or theme and go through the alphabet. Say the theme was food, I’d say apricot; then you’d say bread; we can narrow down themes like food to fruits or vegetables.”

“Ooh, that sounds interesting; ok, what’s the theme?” he asks, turning towards you.

“We can stick with food; it’s pretty easy and fun for a first-timer,” you reply, “We’ve got apricot and bread down, so, C, carrot cake.”

“Ok, donut.”

“Éclair.”

“French onion soup.”

You breeze through the first round, and Spencer picks the next theme - countries - which you manage through a quarter of before landing; you carry on while on the tarmac and finish just before leaving for home. It’s late afternoon in Quantico; Spencer bumps his hand against yours as you walk, smiling when you hold his hand in response. Paperwork is easy enough, and once done, you collectively sigh in relief when no other case comes up. It’s not night yet, and hearing everyone else make plans or detail what they have in mind when they leave has Spencer debating on whether to have that second date now.

“Thinking hard?” You ask, laughing when he comes out of his thoughts to find you standing close to him.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, “do you…uh…can we have that second date now? I know this great Indian restaurant, it’s a bit out of the way, but it has very good chicken tandoori.”

“Sure, lead the way.”

The restaurant is nice, getting there just half an hour after it opens at 5:00 PM; there’s plenty of space to choose from; Spencer leads you to his favorite seat by the fish tank. It’s a nice date; Spencer finds his legs close to yours after you split the bill, leaving just after seven. “Did you like it?”

“Loved it,” you respond. “You sure know how to treat a man, sweetheart.”

Spencer tugs at your arm, smiling into the kiss you give him. “Goodnight, love.”

Spencer is soft.

It’s what you repeatedly note - when he smiles, leans into your space for a kiss, or drums your fingers along your hands. When he snuffles in his sleep, a moment before waking up, “Morning….” he’d mumble before dozing off for a few odd minutes.

“Good morning to you, too,” you kiss his forehead, and he mumbles something else, snuggling deeper into your arms. “What happened to the early bird catches the worm, hmm?”

“....not a bird…no worms please….” he mumbles.

“Hmm,” you respond, rubbing circles along his back, “How about pancakes? I think I might have some blueberries or chocolate chips,” you muse; Spencer peeks up at you. “Ah, I see I’ve piqued your interest.” You laugh as Spencer ponders between the comfort of the bed and the prospect of pancakes. You leave him to his decision-making; by the time you’ve made the batter, Spencer shuffles from the bedroom - donning one of your hoodies and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Spencer hugs you from the back and pecks the space between your shoulder blades, “Süss,” he says.

You purse your lips and glance over your shoulder at him, “Süss? Come on; I thought you liked a challenge?” You switch off the stove and turn to face him, “German. Sweet.”

“I wasn’t looking for a challenge today,” he clarifies, “I was stating a fact.” He points at you as he repeats the word. “Mein süss.”

You grin, “I’d say you’re the sweet one, cookie.” He scrunches his nose, “Mein süßer Keks.” You wink when he stares at you, “You’re not the only one with a knack for languages.” He sticks out his tongue, leaving the kitchen with the pancakes; you join him at the dining table - he sits with his back to the window, soaking in the sun like a cat.

“Fun fact, chocolate chips melt best at temperatures between 104 °F and 113 °F; the melting process starts at 90 °F when the chips’ cocoa butter starts to heat. For milk and white chocolate chips, the temperature shouldn’t exceed 115 °F; for dark chocolate, it’s 120 °F; otherwise, the chocolate will burn.”

You nod, “Which flavor’s your favorite?”

“The classic chips, made from small chunks of sweetened chocolate, I like to eat them in winter when there’s less chance for them to melt in the bag,” he answers. “What about you?”

“I don’t mind, but I suppose I prefer the classic ones too.” The pancakes were long gone by now, and coffees almost finished; Spencer had come previously to visit but never slept over before, “How’d you sleep?” You ask, placing your arm around his shoulders.

“Good,” he yawns, “you’re really comfortable.” You chuckle as Spencer snuggles closer, “Can we go back to bed?” He asks with another yawn.

“Hmm,” you stand, “you head on in; I’ll take care of the dishes.” He nods, shuffling back to the bedroom; you gather the dishes, rinse off the food, place them in the dishwasher, and leave them to clean. You find Spencer nestled comfortably under the blankets; when you slide in alongside him, he latches onto you, not fully asleep and not fully lucid. You comb your fingers through his hair, and when his breath evens out, you close your own eyes and doze off.

End Note:

This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, and also, not that I think it needs mentioning, but this and the previous fic takes place somewhere in season one. Stay Hydrated.

#spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid x reader #smart cookie universe :)#shiterequests #this is my reward for finishing my assignment :) i say as i ignore the other assignments. i couldn't find cookie love quotes or titles :(

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safetycar-restart · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/safetycar-restart/700563954469109760/idk-if-this-is-like-too-much-but-i-cannot-get-it

I’ve been reading all of your poly!piarles fics and literally as you posted, ‘can we have a porn AU?’, I was reading this.

Yes, absolutely yes. We should have a porn AU because this fic is golden

-🎞️

OH MY GOD I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT??? Yes absolutely okay I am reviving the porn au because we all need in our lives. So I'm gonna go over what I think I think would make a solid background for the porn au and then also do some random head cannons for it and we can go from there!

WORLDBUILDING:

So my immediate thought here is that you own a porn studio and all the drivers (and riders, we can add the motogp lads too) are your employees? So they're the pornstars and you're the director/owner of the company. However, you will sometimes be seen in videos as well, particularly when they get all pouty and bratty and beg for you to join them.

I really like the idea that you're their dom off camera, but their director when they act in porn films? So you tell them all what to do, how to fuck each other, etc and they do it not only to make money because they want to be good for their dom and they trust you to never push them outside of their comfort zone.

We can do SO much with this, because we can include other AUs with this setting too? Like we can have boypussy, we can have a/b/o, we can have hybrid!au, we can have poly relationships! Everything! There's truly endless possibilities.

SOME HEADCANNONS:

(I'm jumping to different AUs being included here too just for vibes and I'm doing all sorts of different drivers, just whatever I think of)

-- Lando is a size queen and is known for toy reviews (he also won't do any size queen activities unless you prep him for it, it must be you, yes he knows you're very busy running a very successful porn business, and no he doesn't care)

-- Charles requires the most aftercare, and he's known to simply curl up on the couch on your office after he finishes a shoot.

-- you have a whole series with Carlos where you tie him up and just have your way with him and it's very popular, so popular that the other guys will come and watch the shoot.

-- Lando and Charles have a whole series where they pretend to be innocent little things playing with each other, there's always cute lingerie involved.

-- boypussy Mick is a squirter

-- poly!piarles where the editors have the hardest time editing him and Pierre because he tends to randomly moan 'mommy' even if you arent even in the room

-- Lewis's cock is absolutely huge and he's a fan favourite for obvious reasons

-- you have a version of hysterical literature where they must read with a vibrating butt plug in. Lance is startlingly good at it. Charles has to manage a single sentence.

-- bunny!Charles making videos where he bounces on dildos and his ears are flopping and he sticks his tongue out and it's fucking obscene.

-- Logan is extremely good at the pizza delivery/pool boy porn stories, like insanely good.

#porn!au #sub!charles #sub!lando #sub!pierre #sub!carlos #cs #lh #pg #cl #ms #ls #lsarge #oscarp #🎞

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 11 months

Text

3zun-Centric One-Shots - MASTERPOST

These fics are either 3zun properly or else focus on one of the pairings within the ship. They're spread across multiple collections, including: Xiyao One-Shots, Prompt Fills, MXTX Reverse Trope Fest, Polyship Week 2022, and Polyship Week 2023.

XiYao:

Take Care Of Me - A quiet but important morning spent together on the run from the Wens (read it on tumblr: X)

Close Your Burning Eyes - Lan Xichen comforts Jin Guangyao the day after his birthday (read it on tumblr: X)

Bite The Hands That Feed - NSFW Dark, possessive Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen who wants to give him anything he wants (mild body horror) (read it on tumblr: X)

Restraint - XiYao must part ways at the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign (inspired by art by littlesmartart) (read it on tumblr: X)

NieYao:

Sworn Protections - Canon divergence in which Jin Guangyao runs from Jinlintai and finds a reluctant home in Qinghe again (based on art by asparklethatisblue) (read it on tumblr: X)

War Manners - Meng Yao loses control of himself for one second and kisses Nie Mingjue on the battlefield during the Sunshot Campaign (read it on tumblr: X)

3zun:

Ring My Bell - NieLan watch Jin Guangyao do some rock climbing at a work retreat (read it on tumblr: X)

Professionally Unprofessional - NieLan compete to see who can headhunt Jin Guangyao away from his father first (read it on tumblr: X)

Performance Art - NSFW, based on the Hysterical Literature performance art project (read it on tumblr: X)

You'll Have To Trust Me - NieLan are injured on a nighthunt and need to rely on Jin Guangyao to get them to safety (inspired by a post by guqin-and-flute) (read it on tumblr: X)

The Shadow's Call - Hurt no comfort, Lan Xichen is in mourning long after canon is over, and fierce corpses NieYao come to claim what's theirs (inspired by a post by universesvisiting) (read it on tumblr: X)

Jaegers Are Not Meant For That - Pacific Rim AU where 3zun learn they're Drift Compatible and sort out their issues real quick in the Drift, written for the trope 'Communication' (read it on tumblr: X)

The Last Piece of a Really Shitty Puzzle - Reincarnation AU in which this isn't the first time they've all reincarnated together and Meng Yao's memories of other lifetimes come back when he sees Nie Mingjue, written for the trope 'Soulhates' (read it on tumblr: X)

Pull No Punches - married XiYao pick up Nie Mingjue as their third, written for the prompt 'Compersion/vee' (read it on tumblr: X)

Awkward and Uptight - broken-up NieYao hook up 'for Lan Xichen's sake' while they're snowed in at a hotel, written for the prompt 'Only one (big) bed' (read it on tumblr: X)

Starlight Within Will Guide - Android!Lan Xichen keeps watch over his beloved human crew as they sleep through deep space flight, written for the prompts 'Sci-fi AU' and 'Growing old' (read it on tumblr: X)

Looking For My Family - Meeting each other's families, with mixed success, written for the prompts 'Meet the family' and 'Domestic fluff' (read it on tumblr: X)

Cut From The Same - Reincarnation AU in which NieYao find themselves returning to a hard-to-reach shrine over and over again, unsure of what they're waiting for until they finally meet him, written for the prompt 'Soulmates' (inspired by a post and art by guqin-and-flute and littlesmartart) (read it on tumblr: X)

#the untamed fanfic #Masterpost #XiYao #NieYao #3zun #One-Shots

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littlemousejelly · 10 days

Note

Your fics bring me so much joy. They're among my favorites and I re-read a lot of them so so often. I didn't say in the post but the stabby fic and the hysterical literature au are also among the favs. I always get really excited when I see you've posted something. Thanks for all that you do and all that you write!

ahhh thank you so much for the kind words! also, i'm so glad you like those fics too!! 🥰 i'm still writing/have wips that exist, i just. need to actually write again 😂 i hope i'll eventually have something i can post though!

#anonymouse #casualkoalatea

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clandestinegardenias · 2 years

Text

So I love the fact that Kinnporsche is a wild departure from the typical BL university storyline but...please consider, for a moment, the hysterical potential of forcing them back into a University AU.

We’ve got:

Kinn and Vegas as competing new assistant professors in the Criminology Department, with wildly diverging major lines of research, constantly trying to steal each other’s students

All the bodyguards are either grad students or postdocs. Pete is taking a literal decade to finish his degree because he’s triple majoring in crim, history, and English literature.

Korn and Gun are the Dean and Associate Dean of the College of Life Sciences and Humanities

Tankhun was a rising star doing his dissertation work as an ethnography of gang violence but ended up actually getting kidnapped and tortured and never finished his degree.

Kim jumped ship and is majoring in MUSIC of all things (Chay is an incoming freshman in the music department).

Porsche didn't even go to undergrad but he's got the real-life experience and connections needed to gain trust in the illegal underground fighting world, which is what Kinn's research centers around, so Korn pulls some strings to get him into grad school with Kinn as his major prof. (The kidnapping and forest plot happens when a focus group they’re conducting with some informants goes sideways)

And crim is such a perfect department, half of all crim profs have super sketchy criminal backgrounds and half are like...actual cops. So you’ve got the minor family branch on the criminal side and the main family branch on the cop side, but the truth is that both are equally dirty and brutal, the cop/main family side just has this veneer of legitimacy and respectability.

Vegas’ research is on deviance and violent offenders and prison abolition and the functional role of crime in society, and Kinn is trying to steer his students towards enforcement and prison 'reform' and how profiling people actually works and how if you ARE the law then you’re ABOVE the law and not only can but should break the rules to enforce what you believe is right.

Anyway tagging @yeetlegay cause this SCREAMS our Foucault conversations and @stormyoceans because I conceived of this while talking to her, true muse material.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche AU #vegaspete #i'm gonna make these assholes have to publish peer reviewed articles #out there trying to do interviews with illegal boxing ring competitors and struggling through the IRB #god they'd have to do the special populations review for working with prisoners #this is how i punish kinn for being a rich asshole -- Human Subjects Research approval #kinnporsche university AU

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bokettochild · 6 months

Note

Hello! Hope you are doing well. I am not sure if you've answered something like this before or not, but I am wondering if the Opera House AU ever put on a Shakespearean play before?

They most certainly have!

*has never actually read a Shakespeare Play*

It's less of a feature that they commonly perform though. Seeing as Shakespeare is a classic and while still famous, not as often sought after form of entertainment, they tend to focus on the sort of things they think their audience would find the most entertainment in and which is most feasible for their group. That said, Lullaby does adore the classics, and once every few months will have the gang putting on one or another of his plays. Their group has a lot of fun with the tragedies (Wild is really a pro at dying on stage and it has the younger ones in hysterics sometimes how he can drop dead on command) and the comedies are ever a source of debate, discussion and insanity (they're so screwed up?).

The audiences love that there is a classic play every few months and it's really made into a big event for the classic lovers and literature nuts (affectionate) in the city. To the point where there's basically a festival for literature in the town at the same time as their fall play.

Additionally, their last Spakespeare production of the year isn't classic Shakespeare. Have you ever seen the Reduced Shakespeare Company? No? Here's a Link. Time, Twilight and Wild do this thing together. Yes Wild is the dude who has to keep wearing women's clothes. Yes, Time did in fact perform fire eating on stage. No, nobody knew he could do that.

They have Flora as an audience plant for Hamlet (since she's not as recognizable as the other gals and down for the chaos). Se has the time of her life and so do the guys. This thing sells out stupid fast and the whole team is in stitches (especially when Time and Twilight have to start rapping to avoid being racist).

#shakespeare #asks and answers #linked universe #linkeduniverse #opera house au #lu wild #lu twilight #lu time #lu flora

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cluz1babe · 1 year

Text

Hysterical Literature

Drabble, very short. Current Day au. Eddie & Reader are 25, living in California after Eddie’s band makes it big. Reader gets a chance to be in an art piece, but Eddie is unsure if she should. Sort of NSFW minors DNI. 18+ only.

Y/N walked through the door, excited, but a little nervous. Eddie was sitting on the couch watching TV.

“Hey babe. What’s up?”

“Today I was asked to be in a video.”

“Ooh. What type of video?”

“Well… Here’s the thing… Damien is doing an art installation and he wants me to be one of twelve women who have a real orgasm on camera.”

Eddie’s brows furrowed in confusion, “Orgasm?”

“It’s not porn, I promise. I would never do that anyway, not that there’s anything wrong with porn…”

“What is it?”

“It’s called ‘Hysterical Literature’. It’s a ‘viral video art series exploring mind/body dualism, distraction portraiture, and the contrast between culture and sexuality.’”

She thought she did a very good job at memorizing that bit, but Eddie leaned back to look at her like she was crazy. “Babe, orgasm on camera, though?”

She sat down next to him. “You won’t be able to see anything from the waist down because all of the actual…stimulation will be under a table that I’m sitting at.”

“What’s this literature part?”

“I read a book while being stimulated.”

Eddie knew he was asking a lot of questions, but he had at least one more. “What book?”

“I thought you could help me with that part.”

“Hmm… If it’s something you wanna do, I’m not gonna stop ya. And I have the perfect book.”

“Oh, and by the way, you’re invited. If you want to, you can give me the orgasm.”

——————

Y/N sat at the table with the book. Everything was already set up. Eddie got under the table with a magic wand and it began. First, she opened the book to a random page and started reading. She didn’t know when Eddie would turn on the toy, let alone use it on her. It was after the first two pages that he finally turned it on.

“Maybe perversion was not illness at all. Maybe every form of deviance was just a potential force of union and community,” She heard the buzzing of the toy turning on. “one that had not yet organized itself into— POLITICAL LOBBIES,” he had pressed the toy to her cunt and she was shocked by how strong it was. She had never used a wand before. “self-help groups, bowling leagues... Once you grant legitimacy to, oh fuck, to one sexual proclivity, what's to stop the others from demanding their rights too?” The last word was high-pitched because he had turned up the intensity.

Y/N was struggling to stay in the moment, to keep reading. Every time she paused, was because she almost lost it. “God forbid… God forbid we should… both go to heaven. … Its endlessness would make us…hate each other. …Better for you to be in heaven and me in hell. …We would long for each other, dream of each other, …idealize each other. You would rail against God, …since he was keeping you from …consummating your love. …I would send smoke signals …from my pit of brimstone - love… love… love letters that smelled like sulfur …and made you choke. …Maybe …Maybe we would …even try …to sneak off to purgatory for illicit rendezvous! FUCK! Oh my god!” Her entire body stiffened then shook as she orgasmed.

Eddie turned off the toy and sat back, smiling at what had just happened. Her entire face turned red and she laughed as the camera stopped recording.

————-

This drabble was inspired by “Hysterical Literature”. The book is “Necrophilia Variations”.

The Art

The Book

This was crap, but I needed to do it.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #hysterical literature

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crybaby-bkg · 2 years

Text

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐺𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑠 (𝑚𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑖𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑠)

𝐷𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑠

Giving them lap dances

Sleazy masseuses (KiriBaku)

Big boobs and bumpy car rides (BakuSquad)

Fighting over you at a party (ShinBaku)

Polygamy with two heroes (DekuBaku)

Threesome (BakuKami)

Hysterical Literature (DekuBaku)

Hitchhiker AU (HotWings, Bakugou, Deku)

Drunk, sloppy sex with Perv Deku (DekuBaku)

Blackmail (BakuSquad, Shinsou)

Deku‘s a little obsessed (BakuDeku)

Cute little nerd (ShigDabi)

Physical therapist AU (Baku, Kami, Shinsou, Kiri, Shouto, Dabi, Deku)

Being a brat (KiriBaku)

Bullies (BakuSquad)

Lingerie party (BakuSquad)

Cheesy porn but good role play (KiriBaku)

Platonic nudity (KiriBaku)

Referring to your family as ‘my girls’ (KiriBaku)

𝐹𝑖𝑐𝑠

“On It” (ShinBaku)

#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#mha sweets! 🍬#I use ship names but these are all still x reader!!

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colonoscopys · 1 year

Text

seven sentence sunday

thank you to the lovely @henswilsons @sibylsleaves @spaceprincessem for the tag!

unfortunately for a couple of months there i didn’t have access to my library so i was severely limited to those type of kindle unlimited books that puts like any type of literature to shame—hence the reason I can’t stop writing trope-y modern aus. here’s another one!

“Oh my god,” Buck continues, almost hysterically as a laugh bubbles up in his throat, “Eddie there’s something wrong with me. I keep hearing you say—”

“I am saying it. I need you to marry me, Buck.”

Buck laughs. So hard. It just starts, and then it doesn’t stop, until he’s half keeled over and wheezing.

“Buck,” Eddie says, but Buck has to grab his chest and start inhaling deep breaths, because he genuinely can not find air in his lungs. He swears there must’ve been something in his coffee, because he’s pretty sure Eddie Diaz just asked to marry him.

Buck sobers up real quick when he stands straight and finds Eddie looking at him, completely serious and without an inch of levity within his eyes.

“Eddie,” Buck whispers, clutching his iPad to his chest and leaning forward, “are you high? Because that’s okay.”

“No,” Eddie says flatly. “I need you to marry me.”

Buck keeps staring at him, his mouth wide open, as he tries to comprehend the words coming out of Eddie’s mouth. In all the moments he’s imagined this moment, it has not been like this. And Buck has imagined this plenty of times—on a yacht, on a helicopter pad, in a fancy restaurant next to the Kardashians (he doesn't like them, but it’s about the principle, you know?), even in bed on top of crumpled sheets (don’t look at him).

shall tag @markofalover @fallingthorns @eddiediazes if any of you kids are interested

#yes its a marriage of convenience #tried so hard to make it a workplace romance but i simply just cant do the whole assistant dates the boss trope so buck is sadly switching #jobs at the end of the week #my stuff

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moonsluvr · 2 years

Text

— spelling mistakes in literature class (and other hell-bounding sins)

synopsis: passing notes in class with the cute boy in your class lands you in detention with him. but why is he so sweet, and why does your heart feel like exploding when he smiles?

pairing: classmate!riki x gn!reader.

word count: 1.9k

genre: fluff, highschool au.

warnings: bad grammar, vv cliché, i probably made a million mistakes

authors note: i don't know if u guys can tell but i love writing (endearingly) awkward characters just as much as i adore awkward people irl

Your fingers move quickly to copy down the endless notes and assignments you have today. It feels like time is moving slower than usual today, and your fingers are starting to grow numb from how you’ve been tirelessly writing everything. You check the clock. There’s still 15 minutes left of class. If there wasn’t a cute boy in your class, you’re sure you would’ve skipped. You look behind you, where he always sits. Right at the back corner of class. You’re not much better, sitting only one seat in front of him.

He looks up, catching your eyes. You awkwardly avoid his eyes, pretending to look at the poster behind him, the classroom rules looking much more interesting right now.

To really sell the act, you start mumbling the rules out loud, making sure he knows you were definitely not looking at him.

“Rule one.. Respect everyone else, two, be prepared… Always do your best…”

As he looks back at his notes, you let out a silent sigh, and turn back around. You continue to write down the answers to your assignment when you feel something hit you before falling to the ground, landing right next to your shoes.

You bend down to pick it up, noticing it’s a piece of paper that’s been torn off some journal.

“i like ur face.” it reads. You smile to yourself, knowing there’s only one person this note could’ve come from. You write back a note of thanks, and throw it back at him.

When it’s sent back to you, you excitedly unwrap the note that contains a new message, “i found the answers online btw. do you need them? you look like you’ve ben working really hard today :)”

He’s noticed you’re working hard? You fix your appearance, suddenly aware of how you look. You can’t help but wonder if he looks for your presence in the class like you look for his.

You go back writing on the note you’ve been passing, when it suddenly gets snatched from under your fingers. Looking up, you find your english teacher staring at the note judgingly.

“Ah, yes, you must have ben working very hard today?” She emphasizes the error in his note. “Stay after class. You too, Riki.” she says, shifting her gaze to him.

He looks away and just when you think he’s feeling embarrassed, you catch a snort come out of his mouth. The two of you are definitely ending up in detention today.

She doesn’t comment on how Riki found the answers online. You realize there’s more scolding in your future.

Riki catches you packing up once class is over, flashing you a smile. He stands in front of your desk to wait for you to finish packing up.

He seems to hesitate for a second before speaking up, “Sorry for getting us in trouble.”

“It’s okay. I guess I should’ve been more subtle. How did she find out it was you, though?”

“I guess I could’ve been more subtle too.”

Your conversation dies down as you see your teacher approach the two of you.

“Riki.” you assume she’s trying to sound intimidating. And you would’ve been intimidated if it wasn’t for the menace standing next to you that was about to burst into laughter.

You quickly clear your throat, signaling for Riki to speak up.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You found answers for my assignment online?”

When he doesn’t respond, she turns to you expectantly. “Sorry ma’am.” you say on his behalf.

She nods at your response, “okay! You two, detention. We’ll talk about academic dishonesty and staying on task tomorrow.”

As you and Riki walk away to lunch, it takes only one glance at each other for you both to start laughing hysterically.

When you walk into literature class the next day, you find a sticky note attached to your desk. Setting your things down, you look at what the note says, “i have a surprise for you in detention today!! look forward to it ;)”

What a cutie. He really topped it off with a winky face, you thought.

You pick the sticky note off your desk, and carefully place it into your pocket instead of replying today. You’d see him after school, anyways.

His friends drop him off to detention, one of them messing up his hair before sending him off. You greet him from inside the detention class.

“Hey!” He greets you cheerfully. You wonder if you’ve ever seen someone so happy about being in detention.

“What’s up, Riki?”

“Excited” he says, drawing out the vowels, “are you excited?”

You recall his promise for a surprise and nod, “what do you have planned for me?”

He just smiles, taking a seat next to you. A few minutes into detention, after both of you were reprimanded for cheating, you find Riki glancing up and down from the teacher to his desk. Finally, once the teacher turns his attention towards the computer, Riki pulls something out of his pocket.

He slides it over to your desk, whispering, “it’s an upgraded note.”

You pick up the neatly folded paper airplane, appreciating how creative he was getting with his notes now. Along one of its wings, a cute, “read me ^__^” is written. So, you unfold the paper airplane to find another sweet message for you, and a polaroid of himself.

You can’t stop yourself from laughing. He looked cute, and you would definitely keep this safe, but why did he think you’d need a polaroid of him?

“It’s so you can admire me whenever you want.” he says, winking when you turn to him.

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to take good care of it.” you whisper back before finally reading the message written on the inside of the folds.

“take good care of urself!! get good grades but don’t study 2 hard. young brains arent supposed to have wrinkles yet.”

You laugh a little too loud at this message, and this catches the teachers attention. You manage to quickly stuff the now crumpled note into your pocket before clearing your throat.

“Sorry, sir.” you apologize before he can scold you.

He raises an eyebrow as a warning, before turning back to his computer. You turn to Riki just as quick as you look away. He looks like he was about to cry from how hard he was holding in his tears, and if you were to look at him for a second longer, you might’ve ended up in even more trouble.

You find that you’ve upgraded from ‘classmate’ to ‘friend’ when Riki starts inviting you to sit at lunch with his friends, and the two of you naturally find yourself being comfortable being with each other.

You also find that, for a shy kid who typically takes the back seat, he talks a lot. Conversations with him never run dry, having a good time with him comes easy, and your growing crush seems more and more difficult to hide.

You wish you had the courage to confess, but having him as your friend felt so great, you didn’t want to lose that.

“You should join us after school!” Riki suggests, jumping a little in his seat.

You pick at your food, unsure if your heart could handle that. It’s already been difficult to keep your feelings at bay. If you now had to do that outside of this eight-hour-hell, you might just combust.

“Okay.” your mouth decides, completely disobeying any logic your brain was offering. So it was settled. You would now have to endure a full day out with your crush and his friends without letting your feelings for him show.

Okay, good news! Riki had absolutely no clue. You didn’t know he could be so oblivious.

“Wow, you’re whipped.” Sunoo says, following your gaze towards Riki.

Oh yeah, bad news. His friends figured it out too quickly. And maybe it’s because you weren’t exactly subtle about your loving smile, or the fondness in your eyes. The looks you could only give him when he wasn’t looking at you. But his friends caught on immediately.

It might’ve made you panic at first, but as the day progressed, you were grateful they knew. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about your helpless crush instead of staring at his polaroid, confessing the same things to it over and over again.

Your day out with Riki and Friends was coming to an end, and you said your goodbyes to his friends before Riki turned to you.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I mean, are you okay with going home by yourself?”

“Oh, uh… I’m, yeah. I’m okay with it.”

“Ah, okay. Stay safe!” he says with a wave, “but, um, y’know if you need someone to walk you home just in case.”

You nod quickly before he thinks you’d reject him, “yes, please.”

Riki almost gets brave enough to hold your hand multiple times throughout your walk home, but he settles for a stable heart instead.

It seems that much couldn’t be said for you. The constant brushes against his knuckles easily made you flustered, noticing his efforts to be closer to you.

“Wait.” you say, suddenly stopping. He does as instructed, stopping himself at your words. It takes you a few moments to mask your embarrassment, “my house is a few houses back. Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

He smiles, finally finding the strength in his hand to hold yours, “that’s okay, let’s just walk back.” he says softly, waving your hand back and forth as you walk back to your house.

Butterflies had officially evacuated your stomach, replaced by an entire tornado.

The boy was sweet. It was expected of you to fall fast. What you didn’t anticipate, however, was just how hard you could fall for him. Every day, you would find random pieces of papers on your desk, beautifully crafted into different shapes for you. And they would always contain words of encouragement, compliments, or jokes. If he was aiming for your heart, he hit bullseye with each and every single note.

You look down at the piece of paper lying on your desk today. It’s been folded in the shape of a cute heart, and you smile at how much effort he must’ve put into it.

It almost hurts to unfold it, but your thoughts are all put on pause as you re-read what’s on the note over and over again.

“i like u hehe<3.

date? (circle one)

yes.

maybe.”

Giggling at the lack of a ‘no’ option, you pull out your pencil, and draw a circle around the obvious “yes” before passing it behind you. Riki doesn’t open it right away, and you conclude he’s nervous of what your answer may be, even though he really shouldn’t be.

You give him a thumbs up as he sighs. Taking it as a good sign, he calms his nerves before looking down the piece of paper. You watch a soft yet excited smile form on his beautiful face as he finds your circle where he wanted it to be.

You can’t help but smile too, feeling your heart soar at the presence of his.

+ a lil bonus bc i think u guys deserve it or wtvr <3

#my baby whom i love so dearly </3 #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen x you #enhypen x y/n #enhypen fluff #nishimura riki #ni-ki #riki x reader #riki scenarios #ni ki fluff #niki x reader #niki imagines

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thatbritishactor · 2 years

Text

So, this recording became quite popular a few days ago, and my French ass was delighted (hysterical) to hear Ben speaking my language. Then, curiosity got the best of me and I couldn’t resist writing a tiny essay about what he’s saying, why it’s in the book and the most burning question... is Ben’s French good ???

OKAY ALRIGHT TIME TO TALK ABOUT FRENCH AND LITERATURE NOW.

*cracks neck*

So let’s answer the most pressing questions, shall we ? what is Ben saying here?

LET'S ANSWER

1. I found this article (in English) which analyses the way Wilde inserts French literature and poems into Dorian Gray. The exert here is from “Sur les lagunes” by Théophile Gautier. It says :

“It is the second of Gautier’s “Variations sur le carnaval de Venise,” a title inspired by musical composition, which suggests the poem should be read as if it were a musical score. Wilde gives it to his readers to play and interpret,(...) meaning both a musical scale and a range of colours—by making it the opening line of his quotation: [Dorian] came to those lovely stanzas upon Venice: — “Sur une gamme chromatique, Le sein de perles ruisselant, La Vénus de l’Adriatique Sort de l’eau son corps rose et blanc.” […] The mere lines looked to him like those straight lines of turquoise-blue that follow one as one pushes out to the Lido. The sudden flashes of colour reminded him of the gleam of the opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter round the tall honeycombed Campanile, or stalk, with such stately grace, through the dim, dust-stained arcades. Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he kept saying over and over to himself: — “Devant une façade rose, Sur le marbre d’un escalier.”

The whole of Venice was in those two lines. (Dorian Gray, 304-5) Dorian’s concluding commentary on the poem is a loose translation of Gautier’s line: “Tout Venise vit dans cet air,” which muffles the musical ring in the original by deleting the word “air,” meaning “tune”.

Dorian’s incessant repetition of that line seems to produce the soothing effect he seeks, suggesting that he finds consolation in French art.”

“ In Wilde’s text, French words are like ornaments in music: they add a flourish"

2. What about the lines, what are they saying ? Here they are, followed by the rough translation by yours truly:

Sur une gamme chromatique, On a chromatic scale

Le sein de perles ruisselant, Breast trickling,

La Vénus de l’Adriatique The Adriatic’s Venus,

Sort de l’eau son corps rose et blanc. Emerges from the water, her body pink and white.

Les dômes, sur l’azur des ondes The domes on the azur of waves,

Suivant la phrase au pur contour, Following the sentence of pure outline

S’enflent comme des gorges rondes Swelling like rounded throats,

Que soulève un soupir d’amour. Lifted by a lover’s sigh

L’esquif aborde et me dépose The skiff boards and drops me off

Jetant son amarre au pilier, Throwing its mooring on the pillar

Devant une façade rose, In front of a pink façade

Sur le marbre d’un escalier. On the marble of stairs.

3. Is Ben’s French good ?

I'm not going to lie, his accent is pretty good. Some words are pronounced flawlessly, especially " Gamme Chromatique " and "adriatique". Ben handled the stress on the "tique" perfectly and IT MADE ME FEEL THINGSSSSS. He also nailed "Devant une façade rose, sur le marbre d’un escalier.”

Otherwise, his english accent really shows (it’s okay, I forgive him, french is hard). , He’s trying his best but he mashes most of the words together, I had to focus to be able to understand what he’s saying. If Ben ever needs to speak French for a movie, he'd have to work on his accent, but the man loves accent and he's good at them, it wouldn’t take him long to nail it, I’m sure.

He mostly alternates between his English accent/ a pretty good french accent in the ending of the verses. Some words are easier for him to say than others, and that some point on this verse : “sur le marbre de l’escalier” he speaks with a Quebec accent (it's hilarious). it’s in the way he says “maaaarbre”.

I could record myself reciting the words so you’d know what they sound like in a french accent and compare, but I doubt it’d interest anyone.

Okay I’m done obsessing now, I will go and listen to this on a loop til the day I die.

Goodbye.

#ben barnes #dorian gray #ben speaking french #me obsessing #it's fine #IM FINE

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littlemousejelly · 10 months

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Just reread hysterical literature au and god bless 🙌🔥

heehee thank you! i'm so honored and glad you like hysterical lit au enough to reread!!

#anonymouse #OUGH #PEEPO?? REREADING MY SILLY LITTLE FICS?? OUGH

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theroomofreq · 3 years

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can you give me muggle jily recs pleaaseeee <3 :D

HOW MANY HIGH-QUALITY MUGGLE JILY FICS ARE THERE?? TOO MANY TO COUNT. *cracks knuckles* BUT I am here for the challenge. Jily AUs are my JAM.

Again, shoutout to our amazing @jilyarchive friends who tag every wonderful muggle jily au they come across. here is the link that will take you to their tags page. You'll find links to specific tropes and AUs :')

I've searched through my own AO3 bookmarks and history tabs, and I present to you 28 jily muggle fics that I LOVE. I am THRILLED thinking about all the good things in store for those that read these wonderful stories. This list took me ages to make because I went through and reread most of these brilliant fics. Happy reading !! xx

properly improper by @lizardcookie

“Marry me,” Mr. Potter repeats, closing the distance between them by striding back up towards the sofa, only to stop and crouch to one knee right there at her feet, looking up at her. Burning. “Pick me,” he elaborates. “Pick me, choose me, love me instead.”

- this fic is the reason why I comment the way that I do (spoiler it's because it's amazing)

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl

What is undeniably worse than attending your sister's wedding looking as desolate and forgotten as a wilted houseplant? Drunkenly ringing your ex-boyfriend and asking him to be your date.

- SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE PERFECTION

Oh my god, they were ROOMMATES by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world

Silly one-shot, Muggle AU with Fem!Jily as pining roommates and Marlene as their matchmaker.

- the fic that brought me back to jily and inspired my deep obsession of fem!jily

Swipe Right, Swing Left by @downn-in-flames

The unspoken rule of using dating apps in D.C. is that you always start with where you work.

James Potter, it seems, never picked up on that one.

- giddy just thinking about this gem

'Tis the Damn Season by @petalstofish

It doesn't feel like Christmas for Lily Evans, not after losing her parents to COVID before the Holiday season. She anticipates spending Christmas all alone until a boy from her past shows up and offers her a mutually benefiting deal that has her calling him 'babe' just for the weekend. 'Tis the damn season, after all.

- cries in respect for lyrical writing

Watch Me Unwind by @maraudersftw

Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight. (Rated: M)

- obsessed with the way the plot jumps around the time line in this

oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic

Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.

- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAB THIS IS

a matchmaking mission by @downn-in-flames

James Potter has a mission: get Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to finally admit that they both fancy the pants off each other by Valentine's Day.

His partner in crime? Lily Evans, Remus' flatmate, who he also happens to be slightly in love with

- DOUBLE the amount of pining idiots in love :")

about time by @jilyss

'sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. wait. why are we on a red carpet?'

- this is my emotional comfort fic, your honor

whiskey business by @elanev91

Sirius Black has a (bad?) habit of picking up hobbies that take over his and James' flat -- this most recent one? Homemade vodka that James now has to try and peddle to everyone in the building.

- hysterical! must read!

Fashion Disaster by @maraudersftw

James Potter is roped into an awful dare by his best-mate, which involves him wearing atrocious pieces of clothing for all days until Christmas as dictated by Sirius. If this wasn't terrible enough, he now has to contend with his maddening crush on the beautiful saleswoman at the clothing store.

- classic hijinks that I live for

it wasn't a pity invite by @elanev91

Part of the December "Winter Tropes" Jily challenge. Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omG i’m so sorry

- awkward Christmas date that owns my heart

spice and honey by @clare-with-no-i

tagging along with her food reporter sister to profile James Potter, London's hottest young chef, is not how Lily Evans pictured her Monday going - especially if he's anything like Petunia’s described.

needless to say, she's in for a whirlwind at Chez Maraudeur.

- I'm one re-read away from printing this out and putting it on my bookshelf.

Waffle Wars by @elanev91

There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.

- the witty narration in this fic can not be matched

You Can Hear It In The Silence by @alrightginger

Lily is non-verbal and deaf in a world where the things your soulmate says about you end up written on your skin. She has known about her soulmate since she was seven, but knows they don't have a clue she exists and possibly never will.

- exquisite, cue me sobbing forever

out the window by @displayheartcode

A new family moves to Ottery St Catchpole.

- everything I could ever want in a fic, forever in my mind rent free

The Christmas Guest by @thegodmachine

An Evans Family Christmas: Petunia is bringing her fiancé and Lily is bringing her…Friend…

- petunia pov that gives me WINGS

Football, Calculus, and Cappuccinos by @moonawrites

At eighteen years old, James Potter has a lot going on. He's a rising star navigating the politics of professional football, the pitfalls of sudden fame, the fallout from choosing his dream over his father's company... and a serious crush on the red headed new barista at his favourite coffee shop.

- I'm still working my way through this fic, but trust me when I say its a GEM

if u like pina coladas by @zephyrcove

Lily is desperate for a date to Petunia's wedding, James has been pining, and their friends meddle ;)

- explain to me how characters can be so perfect via texting fics?

Shelf Awareness by @ghostofbambifanfiction

It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there.

- you absolutely must know that I binge read this and then immediately REREAD it

How to win a witch in 10 days by @adenei

“She’s going to find some unsuspecting wizard, get him to fall for her, and then do all the things that turn men away to get him to break things off! Won’t it be the best way to see what witches do that drives men crazy?” But what happens when the man in question is a blast from Lily Evans's past? A Jily Magical AU based on the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

- fic based off of a rom com? YES PLZ :’)

The Fight Before Christmas by @ghostofbambifanfiction

The heartwarming Christmas tale of Lily Evans and James Potter - two plucky kids who hated one other, until the day they really, really didn't.

- complete sucker for this one

All This Time by @thejilyship

James and Lily grew up next door to one another. Their bedroom windows giving them glimpses into the others life, and also offering prime opportunities to argue with each other over every little thing. They never figured out how to be friends when they were kids, but now that they've graduated from college and are home for the summer, they have a second chance to get things right.

- one of my favvvv tropes

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.

- cries in princess diares AU

The Fabulous Baker Brothers by @frustratedpoetwrites

Lily walks a different route home from work and stumbles upon a cute little Bakery with an even cuter baker in the window.

- yes yes yes to embarrassed pining.

Marigold Mornings by @mppmaraudergirl

This is a fun game she thinks, as she removes her hand from his side and reaches up to run it down his chest. He catches her hand in his own, takes a step forward so that her nose nearly brushes against his shirt. She can feel the heat radiating off of him—or maybe it’s from her. He licks his lips and her eyes are drawn to the motion. She knows it is a bad idea, absolutely knows it.

- incredible storytelling featuring dynamic characters :') a favvv

Welcome to Pettyville by@women-inthe-sequel @alrightginger

When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?

- LOVE SQUARE ANYONE

The Kiss a Stranger Project by @alrightginger

“What’s your name, then?” she asks, realizing they haven’t even properly introduced themselves yet. She nervously crosses her arms.

You shouldn’t kiss a guy without knowing his name first.

Right?

- THIS ONE WILL LIVE IN MY MIND FOREVER

#ror reqs #jily fic #mugge fic recs #jily fic rec list

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