#i actually crack up

[beybuniki]

best friend with social anxiety

#idk what prompted my brain to come up with this but bakugo finds deku cowering in the communal room and he just knows whats up #and he stays there and cracks some jokes until deku feels a bit better #because he actually does that in the manga i love how bakugo tries to help his peers u can literally see his brain fuming #and he always comes up with sth! #and he knows deku so well like he knew damn well deku said sth cringe and it has been haunting him the entire afternoon #anway #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #all might slippers yyeeeeeeeeeeeeesssss

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[buppkizz]

these 2 dragging sniper out of isolation to come hang

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 sniper #they are the bros of all time 2 me #they watch everything together and i feel like they'd appreciate each other's tastes in a lot #sit by the campfire crack beers n shoot the cans while talkin about the latest gunsmoke ep that just aired on the outdoor tv engie set up #demo is swinging his sword around drunkenly while they are doing this and has almost cut their heads off god knows how many times #maybe actually cut their heads off a couple times #all in good fun!!

[changelingirl]

"you are HARASSING A CRIPPLE" ".....foot." "a shark ate it." for some reason this genre of humor (making everyone else vaguely uncomfortable by joking about your disability/bringing it up on every occasion a la "the weather is homophobic because it's inconveniencing me") is my favorite fucking thing. god i hope it continues. i hope izzy tells everyone he meets a different story about how he lost the leg (fought a lobster, cannonball incident, cursed by a witch, "what do you mean? my leg's right h--OH MY GOD"). i hope he has a spreadsheet entitled "jokes i can make now that i only have one leg". he's completely deadpan and no one knows whether they're allowed to laugh or not. it's great.

#izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #one of the few youtube people i watch is goodtimeswithscar and every time something like this happens i crack the fuck up #“i've invented a new way to play called handicap mode” “oh yeah. yeah. this'll be great for me.” #“you can't disable a friendship pass; i'm actually an expert in disability.” #“i'm great at running! ...that's a lie.”

[greghatecrimes]

Thirteen.exe has stopped responding

(warning for slight flashing)

#saturdays are for shitposts #her brain is on dial up internet so she needs extra time to process #slight headphone warning but its not as bad as my crack video was #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #greg house #remy thirteen hadley #an anya original #anya's bs (badly edited shitposts) #this one is actually edited really nicely i just keep the badly edited tag because 'BS' is a funny abbreviations for my shitposts #4x12 #gregory house #remy hadley #videos #my edits #autistic thirteen #<- it's close enough she has the processing delay lol #100 #200

[little-pondhead]

The Curse Of Hope

_

Danny is in another universe. He had a reason, but he doesn’t remember anymore. He can only stare, horrified and disgusted, at the sickest city spirit he’s ever seen. Shivering and swaying with every step, core exposed, and ectoplasm leaking from wounds that are decades old. A ratty blanket was thrown over their shoulders, barely hiding the spirit’s pale grey skin and protruding black bones.

The spirit didn’t even sense him until he reached out to touch its wispy shoulders. The spirit flinched, clutching at the dozens of trinkets hanging from their neck and tucking in on themselves like they were expecting a blow.

“Oh, shit,” He swore, floating back a few feet, hands in the air, to show he meant no harm. “I’m sorry. I promise, I’m not here to steal from you.” The spirit shivered again and rolled a pearl necklace in between their fingers. A nervous habit. “Uh, I like that pocket watch? It’s very nice.”

That got their attention. They peeked at Danny, and he saw that more tattered cloth was covering their eyes, blending in with the stringy hair that reached the ground. Their blanket fluttered weakly, revealing hundreds of thousands of tiny marks etched into their skin. Scars, really. Scars that wrote out curse after curse onto the spirit’s very being. They burned with evil intent, and even reached inside the spirit’s body and wrapped around their core.

Occasionally, blinding specks of color raced across their body, temporarily erasing the writing, but it always returned quickly. He watched, a little detached, as one particular line rewrote itself across their rough forearm, drawing fresh ectoplasm like someone was writing it with a thin knife.

“Are you…alright?” Danny stuttered. A stupid question.

The spirit cocked its head. He couldn’t see their eyes, but he felt their burning gaze as they pondered the question.

“The pain of others becomes mine own.” They rasped. “The lights of the city dim as rotten wealth clogs mine veins. Magicks long forgotten have eaten mine skins, pulled mine cloak, and darkened mine skies. Helios has refused to grace mine doorstep, and the seasons of the Earth have revoked their kindness.”

Danny held his breath. It felt like he was the one with the exposed core, not the spirit.

The spirit shivered once more. “Tell mine soul, little lamb. How could this Forsaken City know peace, when it was long since ripped from mine hands?”

Shit, he needed Frostbite. And maybe Clockwork. Now.

-Or-

Danny meets the spirit of Gotham City. The villains and rogues that have plagued the city for decades are literal curses that are taking quite the toll on Gotham, and honestly, Danny isn’t sure how much longer they can hold out. The heroes seem to be doing some help, and are probably the reason Gotham made it this far, but the poor city needs help from the Realms if they want to get better.

Luckily, Danny can provide that help.

But only if he could get Gotham to leave their city behind. Because recovery is going to take a very long time.

#dpxdc #pondhead blurbs #Gotham is very lanky and tall and had dozens of necklaces around their neck #the necklaces are just cords filled with lost things the citizens have lost over the years #like bits of glass or wedding rings or hag stones made from a destroyed gargoyle #actually I have a weird picture of Gotham in my head I might draw it #it’s giving Bloodborne to me but idgaf #basically Danny meets Gotham and is trying to convince them to go with him for medical help because what the fuck #those curses are the equivalent of leaving hundreds of leeches stuck to your body for ten years #Danny is BEGGING Gotham to come with him #there’s potential for angst but if you want crack then Danny probably replaces Gotham #I think there’s already a similar fic where he becomes the new spirit of Gotham but I haven’t read all of that #anyways the Batfam are like #invasive animals that are actually helping the ecosystem recover from an even WORSE invasive species #but they aren’t supernatural heroes and they don’t understand that the issue is deeper #I’m calling this the Curse of Hope because Danny is offering hope to Gotham #but Gotham is just so tired and sick and hurt that they don’t want to risk it #they think Danny is another curse come to plague them #should he just straight up adopt the city at this point? #idk it probably depends on how it’s written #sad course is to let Gotham die. happy ending is where they are treated and returned #crack ending probably has Danny adopting the city and introducing them to his own city spirit Amity Park #oh shit is that a new ship #guys please I can’t keep doing this #Gotham City x Amity Park #how the fuck do you come up with a name for that #Burger Joints? #Wet Pavement? #bro idk I’m putting this down before I make something I might regret #low key wanna write this but like. I have so much to do

[moghedien]

Things that have happened in the last 48 hours

Tucker Carlson fired from Fox News unceremoniously and without warning, apparently directly at the command of Rupert Murdoch. Reason isn't clear but Dominion claims with wasn't because of their recent settlement with Fox News for over $700 million. Considering all that Fox News hosts get away with saying regularly, something pretty wild has to have happened for them to suddenly fire their number one money maker and the host of the highest viewed tv program in the country, on any channel.

Don Lemon fired from CNN possibly without warning, though CNN claims they tried to meet with him. Possibly due to sexist and/or racist comments, but the reason isn't currently clear and CNN is just not wanting to talk about it

Nate Silver was laid off by Disney and ABC and is no longer part of FiveThirtyEight, which he founded.

Steven Crowder announced that he has been divorced since 2021 when his wife filed a no-fault divorce, openly bemoaned the fact that the laws of Texas allowed her to divorce him without his permission, and then publicly accused Candace Owens of trying to use his divorce to extort him for money.

Candace Owens started commenting back at him, denying the accusations of extortion and has now officially begun another far right media civil war as people are taking sides, because she took the bait. She may or may not have sent him a cease and desist and be planning to take legal action.

#basically I've been laughing since yesterday morning #can't believe all the worst people I know are having terrible times all at once #you love to see it #Sam Seder on the Majority Report saying that he didn't mean to diminish Steven Crowder in the eyes of his wife #and he had no direct hand in this #but also this actually lines up right when Crowder ran away crying when Sam tried to talk to him #just waiting for Jordan Peterson to like smoke crack in public or something

[staroryx4]

#I actually pulled myself together to draw this lol #i had a shitty week #so drawing this kinda cheered me up #obey me fanart #obey me leviathan #obey me crack #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me levi fanart

[starrysharks]

hotel manager

#zeno's art #i'm not sure if i should tag the show itself as i'm not a fan but i guess its “fan”art so i will #hazbin hotel #charlie hazbin hotel #vivziepop #i was bored and wanted to draw something #my main goal here was to create a design that looked distinct and could (potentially) be moderately easy to animate #of course based on charlie's character i added as many angel images as possible through the hair and bowtie #(i know white on white is a character design sin but i wanted to show the angel wing detail ;w;) #also to express the personality and juxtaposition of a sweet devil her horns are supposed to curve into a heart shape #of course the garterbelts are upside-down/st peters crosses because of her satanic themes #i also tried to go harder into the goat theme but its still subtle i think #i actually think the goat theme is really interesting because of the story of the sheep and the goats in the bible #but i cant remember if it was actually something intended in her original design #i'm not going to draw anyone else so dont even anticipate that #this was basically a cooldown? ok i think i'm rambling now #goodbye #ok edit to say it clearly: i am not a fan of vivziepop or her work. i just wanted to redesign charlie as a cooldown/exercise for fun #because i used to be a fan of the character before i wised up about what vivzie had and has done #and before i matured and noticed the cracks and fundamental flaws in her works #so yea i dont support her at all and this redesign is critical i guess #also the reason why the tag “vivziepop” is there in the first place is so that anyone who has that tag silenced can scroll past #without seeing anything related to her work. in case that clears anything up #its the same reason why i tag “long post” and “food” and the like

[vic-does-battlecats]

Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind

#a starless clan #a starless clan spoilers #wind spoilers #asc spoilers #warrior cats spoilers #warriors #warrior cats #tigerheart #tigerheartstar #tigerstar 2 #tigerstar #Squirrelflight #squirrelstar #frostpaw #Nightheart #I’ve been wanting to draw this ever since the chapters were revealed and what better time than like two days til the book comes out #i actually think tigerheartstar is an interesting character in this arc he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing and he does honestly #want to help. he just does it by trying to crack dad jokes to lighten the mood while trying to run a group that doesn’t want him there #i also think it’s funny that he’s consistently just chill with taking in cats thrown out of their clans. ESPECIALLY from RiverClan #don’t get me wrong he’s super weird in omen of the stars and avos and I think in his super edition (I haven’t read it in a while) #but he’s also a good dad. he’s such a perplexing character I can’t help but find him interesting. at least he DOES stuff yknow #I’ll eat my words if he does turn out to be completely evil or something. but I’ll hate if he does his behavior really isn’t like Tigerstar #-the first. this guy isn’t out here trying to seize power #but ENOUGH ABOUT HIM!! Nightheart asking squirrelstar if frostpaw could come to thunderclan with him was so sweet #i wish she’d accepted I don’t want them to split up I’m worried the writers will forget the entire last book and they won’t be close again

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Perhaps even,,, pink LaughingStock,,,,? 👀👀👀

ough....yeab....

#in my mind they're barely even dancing theyre basically just Standing There #both cause every time they try to actually dance howdy trips the both of them #hes got too many legs for such close proximity action... #also they get too caught up in Talking methinks #theyre just standing in the middle of the dance floor chatting away. cracking jokes. being Soft. #or rather barnaby keeps being Funny bc howdy keeps laughing and its really cute and he cant stop bc then howdy would stop- #ohhhhhhghhhh im unwell Im Unwell #scribble garnish #laughingstock #welcome home #howdy x barnaby #barnaby x howdy #it took so many sketches and several hours to get to this #and its the simplest fucking slow dance pose ever lmfao #i couldnt make anything else work!!! #and i even cropped this bc the full was Not Great #i wanted them to be like.... visibly going in opposite directions?? like turning in a circle yk yk #i need to practice more #THIS GOT SO OUT OF HAND IMMEDIATELY THOUGH #i saw 'pink laughingstock' and blacked out #i instantly resigned myself to fully lining and coloring #didnt shade tho! held back on that thank fuck!!! #kept periodically making dying animal noises while sketching #the serotonin they bring me is too much. i cant handle it #who will win: my brain's chemical imbalance or Two Gay Puppets #hint: not the imbalance #anyway im gonna go stare at a wall and feel Choked Up from the emotions i have over them

[yeh-shuhua-realone]

poor girl in her 30s had to deal with traumatized teens posessed with other traumatized teens trapped in a time loop who were tricked into it by dead ww2 soldiers. nuts!

#i think i drew her the exact way i wanted to #i think #art #oxenfree #oxenfree lost signals #actually it's wild that og crew were living through all that shit that happened again and again all that time #like all the deaths and bone cracking and trying to escape #and people from ship probably were sinking again and again for decades #no wonder they ended up mad and wanted to kill everyone

[lucascsinclairs]

Lucas Sinclair in Stranger Things 2 | Chapter Eight: The Mind Flayer

"We are talking about the destruction of our world as we know it!"

#st edit #stedit #stranger things #strangerthingsedit #dailystrangerthings #strangerthingscentral #tvstrangerthings #stranger things edit #my gifs #mine #g:s2 #lucas sinclair #lucas sinclair edit #caleb mclaughlin #the 'that's the best metaphor--' 'um actually it's an analogy' bit never fails to crack me up #if that isn't me in middle school then i don't know what is #like i know the fate of the world is at risk but let's not forget the proper terminology guys!

[toothpastemaker]

hello there its me again and i have a question if scarab and sawyer are siblings does this mean they have parents or there parents just died and i totally didnt simp for sawyer in my mind lately:>

I don't think they where loved

This was an excellent chance to design their child selves, not to be dramatic, but this may be some of my best work

Headcannons for them! Feel free to ad your own

Sawyer

is a dino kid, like it's literally all he can think about all day

relentlessly plays his DS, major ipad kid vibes

he dresses himself, takes it very personally if you critiqued his outfits. His fashion sense aged like wine I'm telling you

loves action movies

wants to be a cop because of said action movies

Scarab

evil

he hasn't matured yet so his anger issues are 10 times worse than they are in the show

Sore looser, Sawyer has to let him win when they play board games otherwise Scarab throws a tantrum

"Scrabby"

Wants to be seen as mature so he has a really good vocabulary, among other things, unfortunately no one takes him seriously, some things never change

Bonus: meeting Orbo for the first time

#scarab au #scarab fionna and cake #scarab the god auditor #fionna and cake au #the scarab #scarab #orbo fionna and cake #orbo supports child labor #I'd like to inform the lot of you that I actually don't think he's as bad as the fandom cracks him up to be btw #it just kinda happened