#i am in a lot of old / dead fandoms i am aware

[wispscribbles]

Mw3 spoilers (just a long personal ramble)

Hiii. So

As soon as the pre-release came out on, I hunted down spoilers, because I know myself and knew that if someone died and I got that information out of the blue, I wouldn’t take it well. Jokes on me, because I still haven’t been taking it well lol

I won’t talk about how Soap’s death was handled or the quality of the game. Plenty of smarter people are doing so.

I try not to talk a lot about myself and irl stuff on here, but will just say: I am very unwell, mentally. (Cue silence because that’s not surprising at all) Something I am very aware that I do, is that I latch onto fiction with my whole being, usually one specific character. For some reason, I always latch onto the character that ends up dead, usually in a way that make them only exist to further the motivations of other characters. It sucks.

So my hope for Soap has never been great, but for some reason I was still so shocked?? I don’t know, I tricked myself into thinking this time was different. Such an iconic character with so much good setup for great character development. I knew someone would die, but ow. To me, he was the element that made 141 seem more like family than coworkers. Soap’s interactions with the rest just livened up the games so much and made them all shine. Especially Ghost. Their dynamic, man.

Soap was the character that intrigued me enough to jump into the cod rabbit hole. It feels very hollow without him.

I keep telling myself that it’s silly to be so hurt over something fictional, and that I can just treat it as a mcd fanfic and move on, but nope. Brain’s stuck in the bad stuff. It’s a bad habit of mine to let something like this affect me so much, but well. Logic vs feeling and all that.

I really did find so much comfort in Soap this last year, that I severely needed. It feels a little like losing someone I know, someone who helped me through a rough time. I related to something in him and felt inspired. I only started writing after getting into ghostsoap, I started working out and I got back into art after a very long burnout. It may be fiction, but the impact is not.

So that was pretty much the worst case scenario of what mw3 could be to me. I always knew the risk, but, once again, ow. But there also seems to be plenty of good stuff in the game that I enjoy. I’m happy with the Ghost and Soap dialogue, the whole team working together and seeing Laswell and Farah and Alex and Nik. I hope I can be inspired by some of the new content once I’m calmer.

And I was worried they would ignore Ghost and Soap’s relationship after their development in mw2, but they genuinely seem to have gotten real close. It’s nice. I thought the shipping might scare the game devs into never having them appear in a scene together again, so that’s a plus.

Bottom line to all this is: I probably need a little break to get my head sorted. The grief is surprisingly real, it’s triggered some old stuff for me (haven’t been sleeping or eating, been stuck in some old thoughts). I’ll need to calm down and become a bit more normal about this again. Part of the grief isn’t so much about Soap himself, but also just the safe space that this account has been. The very nature of how the fandom is going to interact with Soap and Ghostsoap is going to change now, and man… I liked how it was, y’know? Could’ve used a little longer in that bubble. There’s going to be plenty of new fics and art, lovely stuff as always, but many of them will be tinged with grief, and I’m not in a place where that won’t break me a little.

I will hopefully come back to posting and making stuff once my brain settles down. I have so many drafts for fics and ideas that I hope I can return to. I’ve gotten so used to drawing these lads that I doubt I can stop tbh

The version of Soap that we love is already evolved from the games due to all the time and care the community has put into the character. The games may have killed him, but luckily, he’s fictional. We can do what we want, same as before.

I’m not even saying that I wish they hadn’t killed him. The games are crafting a story that fits their audience. It makes sense.

But I will choose to live in one of the many universes we’ve created for Soap, where he is alive and cared for, with a found family and a spooky lieutenant with a soft spot for him. Good for him.

Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves. RIP canon Soap (again). Thanks to Neil for a wonderful portrayal. And no matter where we go from here, thanks for a wonderful year of creating with you lovely folks. Seriously, some of the kindest people I’ve met in fandom. <3

Lastly: fuck you Kevin O’Reilly, but more importantly, sincerely thank you. (CallMeKevin video about mw2 got me into this mess. Otherwise I was keeping cod at an arm’s length, but he’s my fav youtuber, so I watched it. And here we are!)

#if u don’t wanna read: I’ll be taking a small break for mental health reasons but expect to be back and creating for this fandom again <3 #mw3 #mw3 spoilers #cod mwiii #mwiii spoilers #call of duty mwiii #ghostsoap #wispy update #always feel anxious posting anything emotional but feel like this one deserved a proper update #you’re all wonderful ppl ily #hopefully see you soon !

[basiatlu]

On Theft in Art

First: thank you to the anon here and the other many people who brought this to my attention! I know you did it out of support of me and I love you for it.

I was ready to keep it private as I didn’t want anything negative to come up and be associated with my art. But as I was asked across different platforms concerning the art in question I realized it really bummed me out. I’m here to have a good time in the fandom and create with you all. We have a good thing here in the community and I didn’t want any smoke with another artist - a mutual even.

So to help me feel a little better about it I want to turn this into an opportunity to teach others on the differences between Reference, Inspiration, Reinterpretation, and Theft

Reference: (usually) a visual source of information in order to better understand something. Example here is of my reference board and the art I am currently working on.

My favorite example of a professional using reference photos is by Hirohiko Araki (creator and artist of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure), who uses fashion editorials and photoshoots ALL the time it’s awesome - tysm @yumiaiyuma for showing me this goldmine

Study and Inspiration: here is a great example from the wonderful Stephanie Pepper. Notice the caption stating these are studies, the movie it is from, and I will even go on to say that this artist is influenced or inspired by the prolific works of J. C. Leyendecker (but what’s key is that Stephanie Pepper has developed and practiced to the point of deviating from his work and become a style of art completely her own - and she’s so recognizable in my opinion!)

Personal Example for Inspiration:

An Example of Reinterpretation: note - Both these classical artists whose works are being recycled are dead and no longer missing out on potential work and income. Where stealing ideas and art from current artists hurts them financially and mentally and emotionally. Howl as The Fallen Angel by _mimimaru on Instagram is an interpretation of a 1847 painting by Alexandre Cabanel and is now considered public domain // the Mickey Mouse self portrait was by Charles Boyer and is a parody of the famous illustration by Norman Rockwell and was commissioned by Walt Disney, himself.

Now here’s the part that is concerning to several people, myself included.

Recently, an artist found the reference I used, and decided to draw Andromeda, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Regulus staring at Sirius getting supposedly punished by Walburga Black off screen.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a matter of tracing or claiming my image as their own. I do not mind at all if myself and another artist end up using the same reference. It happens all the time. Referencing and studying is not stealing. Reinterpretation is great for meme art challenges and paying respect to old classics. Even being inspired and doing one’s own version of another artist’s idea is totally cool, especially if you tag and/or shoutout the artist that inspired you.

I genuinely love and appreciate everyone who has brought this to my attention and who has been supportive and defensive of me with this. That reaction means more to me than anything else in this whole ordeal, if I’m being honest. So thank you all so much, with all my heart.

In closing: Do I hope this is all one gigantic coincidence? Absolutely. It’s one of those very uncool things that hurts my heart as an artist. I just want everyone to enjoy art and inspire each other so we can all grow. I do not want any malice to come from this either. I just wanted to inform everyone that I am aware of this, and give some of my thoughts on it. I also wanted to use this as a way to educate everyone on artistic process and why these things might happen sometimes.

Edit: me and the artist have chatted and we see it as a silly coincidence ♡ and honestly I'm happy and so relieved with that. But I think a lot of this info is still good to be mindful of in a creative community where we circulate ideas and content regularly.

#shushbosh #ugly business sorry #I’m happy to talk with anyone on this of course #art thoughts

[textsfromthetva]

i assume that's a hypothetical question, but the reason people are so much more defensive of Sylvie than other characters like Loki is that people are so much meaner about her. you really can't go a day in this fandom without seeing Sylvie slander – which is why I really appreciate that even though you don't ship Sylki, you still respect the character and you still make Sylvie into some fucking awesome memes

I guess my refusal to take part in fandom at large is shielding me from a lot of this overt hostility. I’m just sitting here in my sandbox with a couple of trusted mutuals while the world burns around us

having spent 22 years in fandom though, I am intimately aware of this strategy in relation to shipping. slandering the woman in a ship you don’t like is a tale as old as time. so in that way I can sympathise with Sylki shippers automatically being really on edge and assuming the worst at all times

what I do not understand is how you can look at my entire history of content and come to the conclusion that I hate Sylvie. she is all over the place! yeah there are posts that are anti Sylki, but I make a point of giving the character love and attention on a daily basis. I made the observation early on that most of my followers weren’t that keen on Sylki, or Sylvie herself, judging by average number of notes on edits about either. I wrote a whole goddamn post about it, and I am actually really sad about the fact that I will make a great Sylvie edit and then it will get next to no notes, because it’s about Sylvie. has that stopped me from making content about her? no! and it really should not be hard to figure out why I would continue to shower attention on a character even when the general response is crickets chirping

I’ll give you a hint. it’s because I adore her. her and Brad are special in that way. I refuse to stop making content about them, no matter the popularity of the result, and I will keep doing this until you pry my laptop from my cold, dead hands

#I hope this little essay also cleared everything up for followers who might be new #asks #anon

[carlosoliveiras-wife]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ hola, qué pasa. i’m chloë [she/her], biromantic[?]/ace-spectrum hispanic [white/mex] ladee who enjoys masc titles. here’s my main selfship carrd [still in progress]. here’s my general f/o list. here's my fandom ref drive. please like this post once read!

the guys shown above are My Darlin's, my main F/Os that I have super bad brainrot about and who are just part of my main squad but with a fancier label. rubs eyes. in order, they are...

Carlos Oliveira; Resident Evil 3 [Remake]

Pavia; Reverse: 1999

Miguel O'Hara; Specifically ATSV's Version*

Charles Smith; Red Dead Redemption 2

Lúcio Correia dos Santos; Overwatch

Lee; Arknights

Rei Sakuma; Ensemble Stars!!

the asterisk is that i largely use comic lore in reference to Miguel. in case that needed to be said. i just needed to put that out there i guess??

my terms on sharing are that i'm not comfy, and if you're too lazy(/nm) to read below, the gist is dni if we share, and if you reblog from someone who shares my f/os of any status, i'll just softblock for my mental health because i. am a bitch when it comes to sharing. sorry.

in the same sense: if you share any of my friends' f/os, i either will block or not follow just for their sakes and i have a personal bias when it comes to my friends' stuff. if that makes sense. probably not. here's the link to the list, which can be updated at any time.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ i’m specifically writing my new pinned to sound like i lack enthusiasm, because, y’know, i kinda feel that way a lot. don’t be intimidated, i don’t bite unless you give me a permit to do so, otherwise i’ll just stare at you from across the room. i’m not new to selfshipping in the slightest, and i’ve been doing this shit since i was a kid. i heavily love fictional characters and i see them as my bitches who should bow down to me. that’s a joke. i’m bowing down to them. sidenote: i put the question mark by biromantic because i have no idea if i’m aroace or not. sigh.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ i like a lot of things outside of fictional characters who make me wanna eat grass. i love to draw, i love to write, i love to design, i’d fucking love to not have seasonal allergies. i also really fucking love animals, however, don’t rely on me for knowledge because i obviously don’t know everything about anything. my faves are orcas and foxes! my favorite foods are salmon nigiri, tamales, and conchas. awkward thumbs up emoji.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ my dni and other stuff can be found on my main/introductory carrd. fandom-wise, you can find my info and trivia and all your need-to-knows on my ascendaries carrd.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ yes, i’m aware i have a rain theme going on. personal ties and i love the weather. shrug emoji.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ .ೃ࿐ ┈┈┈┈ : . . . . : ─ yes, i'm aware a lot of my selfships have repetitive themes and tropes. those themes and tropes are very comforting and also largely stem from personal things which is why i indulge them. tldr: if you hate childhood friends to lovers, hooh, you're gonna hate me.

little tidbits about me, i suppose. a good chunk of these are taken from my old pinned.

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i quite literally use myself in all selfships, and prefer each fandom variation to not be called a "self insert". it's legit just me befitted for a fandom (usually a f/o, ie, if a f/o is an eldritch horror then fuck it i am too) 😔 ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i have a lot of interests and tend to show an interest in a lot of things at once— while i may not know everything about a media, i do immediately go searching for character analyses as well as consume media as much as i can. i do have an attention problem which involves finding it hard to sit down and binge. but i will read the info as much as i can, i do tend to like reading more than watching/playing. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ again, as previously stated, i am a hispanic selfshipper. however, i look whiter than one would assume, and kinda act it as well. while meals and pronunciations are a big deal to me[minus the joking mispronunciations which earn me 'oh she's white' stares; listen it's kinda funny], i'm not fluent in spanish [i know a few phrases…] nor do i have many experiences many others may have. i admire a lot of the traditions, however i did not grow up with them. i’d love to meet other hispanic selfshippers though, y’all are cool and i’m giving you all a little kiss. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ yeah, it's actually spelled “Chloë”, in case you had to know. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i love to indulge my friends and mutuals as best as i can! my inbox is always open for rambles and such, so don't be afraid to talk to me. i also don't mind infodumps on any of my faves because you'd more than likely help me understand them more anyways, which is always welcome. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i do love to portray myself as the more affectionate one in any of my selfships— while everyone loves affectionate male/female f/o stuff, i like giving out more love and flustering my dumbasses. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ unfortunately, i am a lady who is very not okay with sharing. if that bothers you, just please do not interact. i know non-sharing selfshippers seem silly and childish, but it's just how i am. similarly, i do not care to interact with anyone who selfships with faves on the friend DNI list, meaning that i prefer their selfships above all else. i know that ain’t gonna stop anyone, but oh well. that list doesn’t apply to anyone following before that list was updated, so! yeah. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i'm uncomfortable with nsfw and if you are a nsfw account, please do interact on a different account. while i do have nsfw humor, indulging in actual nsfw makes me uncomfy, so please keep that in mind. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ don't be scared of interacting with me. i'm not gonna leap out of the water and bite your hand off. as long as we don't share f/os, i don't mind interacting. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ i don't mind being tagged in things. i find it quite fun, actually! and i feel honored! hehehe ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ fandom blogs PLEASE dni. there's nothing wrong with you guys...some of y'all, i mean. i'm just. i'd strongly prefer not to have fandom blogs follow me. likewise: ccxcc shippers for my f/os. sorry i'm still a person who's uncomfy w/sharing ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ edited last: 12/6/2023 — while this blog is by all means "private" (read: i have the settings that doesn't allow this blog to be searched up or something else), i don't think i'm too bothered by reblogs or stuff about my personal selfship content anymore. i had this rule in place initially so that way i did not burn a hole in my brain from too much attention, however, i will do my best in taking things easier so that way i don't hit that mark of burnout again, or at least, as fast. ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

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DNI

you fit basic DNI criteria, this includes being a zionist. i dont wanna see any proshippers or racists or pedos or lgbtphobes or islamophobes or anyone else who fits this bs criteria

if you share my f/os, this is just more of a comfort thing. im less likely to follow if you reblog from someone who does share my f/os just for my own comfort

if you associate with @/tealilii or @/glazelilii or whatever other handles she has. she's caused trauma for me and another friend of mine, and might still be doing harmful shit to my other friend.

you associate with @/lolthia. you can find posts on why you shouldnt associate with them.

javier escuella slanderers. i will throw you like a fucking dodgeball

people who like dark content, including but not limited to: yanderes, DD: DNE, noncon or dubcon, incest including stepcest, the glorification of abuse

see someone wearing certain things in fashion and immediately ask if theyre into nsfw things or why they're wearing "fetish gear". its weird, dont do that, esp not to me.

there's probably more but. hm. i'll update eventually

i don't know what else to add. glances to the side. so uh. yeahh. hi there guys...??

dividers are by @/cafekitsune!!

#⛈️: chloë's thunderstorm of info. #(pinned)

[rayshippouuchiha]

For me, The Prince Of Leaves And Deep Water, because, well I've been in the Naruto fandom for a long time and I've seen so many fics demonise and push Kushina to the side while focusing on Minato who's 'cooler' and we see more of in canon, and I've also seen fics that make her a really annoying loudmouth version of Sakura which I guess has context given Minato thinks it when they meet in canon, so for me her character outside of her love for Naruto is really nebulous y'know? I've just seen so many 2dimensional takes she's kind of just there for me usually.

But the prince of leaves and deep water changed that, it impacted me significantly with its characterisation of Kushina, her desire to believe in the home she loves warring with her deeper awareness of cruelty than Minato, her trust in Minato, her fucking rage at the unfairness of the day that was supposed to be one of their happiest ending with their baby orphaned and alone. The way she can feel her people dying around her during the 9 tails attack on Konoha, the way that hits knowing how uzushio was wiped out of existence, the way she grieves uzushio in an old aching kind of way and Konoha's dead in a fresh raw wound kind of way, the way she grieves herself and the love of her life and her son, her poor son who she'll never get to know grow up. It's fucking insane. It drives me insane when I think about it! This woman made of all the grief in the world hoping and gambling and praying that the world will be kind to her child. And that, all that contrasted with the softness of the nickname "my little prince of eddies and leaves".

So yeah that's the fic that sticks with me.

Also don't intend this as backhanded or anything but sincerely, I'm especially impressed as I am personally not mad on the kakanaru pairing in the least given Kakashi's failure to tell him fuckall about his parents in canon or really train him in any tangible way beyond helping with the rasenshuriken years after Naruto's been apprenticed with Jiraiya which is really just.. plot driven and not enough to make up for things imo and also the whole sensei student thing in canon making it iffy (for me). But the writing in this fic is in fact so fucking good and reflects so much of my own feelings about Naruto's childhood I can literally enjoy it past the notp which is incredible, very few fic are good enough to keep me locked in 100% investment despite a NOtp but this fic achieves that and then some. Also just, the way it highlights these facets of characters that make sense but for some reason I'd never considered being a thing? Great. I love it. And this fic made me love Kushina again despite her shaky handling by the fandom in general inuring me to her presence a lot. And by love, I mean I adore her and I'm grateful for it.

no but this is just one big ass huge compliment in my opinion because being able to get that emotion across with Kushina and then to even make you stick with the fic through a NOTP? That means so much to me

#RayRambles #Naruto

[steveybucky]

Here’s a little about me and what to expect

I’m Anna, she/her, 27. Welcome!

I’m on AO3 as kingandlionheart

I’m currently going 16 years strong with my love/hate relationship with the MCU (I was obsessed with Ironman after watching it lol)

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes have a special place in my heart and I cry over them daily. I have an arsenal of headcanons about them in my drafts that I’m sometimes brave enough to share.

I don’t ship much else in the MCU except Clintasha. You may see the occasional bitterness I still harbor over AOU.

This is not multi shipping blog. Personal preference is that it HAS to be Stucky or nothing 😂 If I reblog other ships (where Steve/Bucky are concerned anyway), it’s platonic because I love friendship.

I am very anti Endgame. I am not anti Peggy, but I am anti Steggy. Expect a lot of Endgame rants until further notice.

Other fandoms I love:

Merlin

Star Wars

ATLA

PJO

Harry Potter

Other random things idk

Anti JK ✌️

Here are the other ships nearest and dearest to my heart:

Merthur

Zutara

Percabeth

Jily and Wolfstar

Zelink (BOTW/TOTK mostly)

Other things may appear but not frequently. I love broadway musicals so there may be some of that here and there.

I went dead on tumblr in 2018 but recently reappeared after I found a fanfiction on Reddit called These City Walls that absolutely destroyed my life and made me come crawling out of my grave. Seriously read it. Amazing.

Expert fanfic reader but novice fanfic writer. I am working on getting back into writing fanfiction so I talk/post a lot about writing. I want to finish my stories first before posting because I know from experience that when I post a WIP, writing becomes more of a chore than for fun.

Minors DNI, however, I once was a tumblr obsessed 15 year old who would absolutely have ignored that. So just please please be aware of the strong warning I do have very adult headcanons and will share adult content.

Feel free to talk to me about anything! Cry about Stucky, share headcanons, or just rant about whatever.

#about me

[x-i-l-verify]

20 Questions For Writers

Was tagged by @kuraiarcoiris and decided why not. :V

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35. I have more on other sites, but since I've made my AO3 account, that's how many I've posted there.

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2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

656,547. Give or take a couple thousand.

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3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently? Dream SMP. But I also have an Inscryption WIP and a couple Kpop WIPs that I really should get back to one of these days. orz But I've written for all sorts of fandoms over the years.

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4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5) Its Suffering Was Real [Inscryption]

This is the one that came as the biggest shock to me when I went and looked at my kudos count in preparation for this write-up. Like, really? People like the fic where I torture the sassy robot trapped in the body of a stoat for 7k words that much??

4) A Shoulder to Lean On [Avatar: The Last Airbender]

WHERE did all these people come from, I have like 6 comments on this thing (not counting my replies)??? I mean, I'm flattered, but ??!!?!

3) Accepting Amelioration [Voltron: Legendary Defender]

I mean, it's a Voltron fic posted back when the fandom was in full swing, it doesn't really surprise me the kudos counter is considerable, though I am still surprised it got that much traction considering the fic is gen and not shippy. Am still proud I made the first daemon AU in the entire fandom, though, if this is my claim to fame, then I'm ok with that. :p

2) Temporary Shelter [Astro / VIXX]

I seriously have no freaking clue how this little self indulgent Kpop crossover fic became so popular, I really don't. I mean, Kpop crossovers are niche at the best of times, and these two groups aren't exactly the most popular Kpop fandoms on AO3 if you know what I mean. It basically started as "wouldn't it be fun if my two favorite Kpop groups were secretly friends all this time? How would I have that happen, tho?" and then snowballed from there. I, uh. I'm glad so many other people like it, ig? 0_0

1) Paved with Pawprints [My Hero Academia]

Of course it's the MHA pet AU fic. Of course. OF COURSE-

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5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely. It's only fair I reply if someone takes the time to read on my work and actually give me feedback about it, wouldn't you say? Plus, like most authors, I enjoy talking about my own work, so sue me. >:p

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6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually do angsty endings; I prefer happy or at least bittersweet ones. I guess by default, it has to be the fic where I slowly killed off America and China from Axis Powers Hetalia for 13k words, while the rest of the cast had already been dead for centuries at that point. So yes, the entire cast of that series was dead by the end of that fic. :))) IN MY DEFENSE, ok, I was actually trying to give them a bittersweet ending by reuniting them with all of their old friends and family by finally letting them rest after so long alone, but it still turned out really sad. TT TT It's basically my only fic where I can't go back and reread it more than once every couple of years, because I still end up a sobbing mess by the end.

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7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, I guess that's what you define "happiest" as. The most cathartic? The one with the least amount of trauma and extreme bodily injury incurred by the characters? 🤔 I guess by the latter definition, it would Kaleidoscopic Perceptions, a very fluffy USPH college AU that I actually enjoyed writing a lot despite me not usually enjoying romance or college AUs.

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8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No, thankfully. I've gotten a couple kinda weird comments, and of course the obligatory "It's been X months since you updated were you aware?????" comments, but no outright negativity.

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9. Do you write smut?

LMAO. Absolutely not.

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10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! I really love crossovers. I have a few common fallbacks that fit with a lot of fandoms (daemon AUs, Firefly AUs, etc.), but I also enjoy fandom-specific crossovers when I can figure out how to pull them off.

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11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea. I hope not!

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12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Just once for this Gravity Falls fic.

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13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes. It had a few ups and downs, but it was overall a really positive experience, and I think it turned out really well!

.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk that I have an ALL TIME favorite ship, especially since I hardly ever ship anything, but Frobin is pretty choice, I gotta say.

.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Er, none of them, hopefully? I hope that I eventually get to finish all my WIPs at some point, even if it might take me awhile. >.>; But I suppose if I had to pick ONE to abandon, I'd probably pick Written In, my D&D Inscryption crossover AU. I like the IDEA for it, but writing it out is like pulling teeth, and after the first installment where the party gets together, I don't really have a lot of ideas on where to take the plot. :/ Like I have the general overarching idea but no plot structure or anything but small disconnected story beats.

.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I like to think I do a pretty good job with descriptions while not bogging the story down too much with too much detail?

.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh, staying motivated ig. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if you're asking my weakness about mechanics, though, uh... exposition, I guess? Dialogue in general, sometimes.

.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If there is actual information included in the other language, then you better provide a translation. If it's just for flavor, though, have at it.

-

19. First fandom you wrote for?

TMNT, specifically the 2003 show. It's never been posted anywhere on the internet and never will. :)

-

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Becoming Real, a Kpop fanfic based on VIXX's Voodoo Doll MV. However, it can easily stand on its own as its own original work. I consider it the most accessible story I've ever written, and it also was just very easy for me to write. Writing is often like pulling teeth for me, but not this story.

Tagging: @breezy-cheezy, @quicktothebatjalopy, @hiding-in-the-vault, @variablememory, @bleue-flora, @theriu

#tag meme #xi yammers #fanfic

[leofrith]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

Tagged by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn 💖 I did this one a few months ago but a few answers have changed since then so I'll update those. 😊

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Six now! Four one-shots, a short-ish multi-chapter which was supposed to be a one-shot that got away from me, and my longfic which at this point I should have just waited to post but am definitely still chipping away at.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

33,030 which is almost double my count from a few months ago. Woaaaaaaaaahhhh

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still Assassin's Creed, now dipping into Baldur's Gate 3 as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Still the same five fics in the same order but with slightly different numbers:

Hideaway - 149

Bright Skies - 139

Press On, Move Along - 94

Out of the Cold - 43

Honor Bound - 29

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Still Press On, Move Along.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Still Hideaway.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Still hate-free, for now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do 💀 and I've posted some of it since the last time I did this. I think the only way I can really describe it is emotionally-charged, because if I'm going to horny jail it will at the very least be in service of some kind of character development. 😭

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Still occasionally poke away at the AC x Star Wars AU, but I'm not super invested in it right now. But I'm sure that will change as soon as a new Star Wars thing comes out. Since I last did this I also went digging through the depths of my writing folder and found a Walking Dead x MCU crossover that I must have started when I was like 14 years old. Absolute fucking horror show that I am so very thankful I never wrote enough to post. 🤡

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Still no, as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, except for yelling back and forth about ideas with friends. I would probably be open to it but also maybe not because I know I am extremely unreliable.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Saying "all-time" favourite feels a bit much, but as far as mental real estate and also just sheer number of words written, Leovor far surpasses any other ship I've been into. 🧍🏻‍♀️

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Since I did that ask game a few weeks ago, the Inquisitor Ahsoka/Rex starting a clone rebellion/post TCW AU has been on my mind. But I know that, realistically speaking, I'm unlikely to ever be invested enough to actually sit down and write it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm trying to make a point to read more fiction and while it's possible that the few books I've read thus far lately just haven't been particularly good, it's certainly made me way more confident in my ability to write dialogue that feels like it would be spoken by real live humans and not aliens pretending to be humans. Similar deal with internal monologues. I'm convinced that none of these authors read their work aloud.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Still generally the same—overthinking comma usage, editing while I write and therefore being very slow, going back and forth between being stuck because I didn't plan enough and feeling stifled because I planned too much. Etc etc.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to avoid it as much as possible, with the exception being words or phrases that are used a lot in canon.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Still Marvel :(

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Honor Bound is still my baby, but I didn't expect to actually like A Different Kind of Solace as much as I do, mostly because I didn't really go into writing it expecting to hit the emotional notes that it does. Also still Out of the Cold. There are some banger lines there.

Not tagging anyone because this one has gone around a few times recently but if you want to do it, you're welcome to pretend I tagged you. 😌

#ky posts text #tag games

[venusenvvvy]

FOREWARD

Introduction:

If you’re reading this, you either A) came across my fan-fiction on AO3 and are mildly curious about what you’ve just stumbled across, or B) you followed me a few years ago and forgot about it, and now this post is on your dashboard and you have zero idea who I am or what’s going on.

If you belong to group B and would like an inkling of context, feel free to check out Burning Houses now. It’s probably the most out there Harry Potter fanfiction concept you’ve seen in a while.

The Tragic Backstory:

In September of 2020 I was 17, and I had spent the past three years alone, in a walk in closet that had been repurposed to be by bedroom. I won’t get into the specifics of why. I spent my days and nights laying in bed and alternating between daydreaming and reading, until that’s what my life became.

Up until then I had posted a few short stories - things I had written quickly in the middle of the night and never expected to get much attention. The only thing extraordinary about me in my every day life was how utterly invisible I could become.

By the time September of 2020 rolled around I had been reading Harry Potter fan-fiction for years - this was before the explosion of the Marauders fandom, with the posting of ATYD, and then subsequently the resurgence of Harry Potter with Tiktok edits and the media attention garnered by JK Rowling - and the place was a graveyard. It was comforting, in a way. Just me, rooting through old tropes and ideas. My favourites were time travel stories that found Harry older, wiser and more powerful. Or the ones where everyone found out how the Dursleys had been treating Harry and, horrified, saved him from his barren, locked bedroom with the bars on the window, giving the Dursleys’ a piece of their mind the entire time.

Yes. I’m aware of the parallels.

The problem with dead fandoms is that you run out of content. So I started writing a story - just for me - about this daydream I had been having for the past several weeks. I wrote it in the notes app of my phone every night laying in bed until four in the morning, and then I woke up in the afternoon to start again.

Then, due to circumstances outside of my control, my phone was destroyed, and I lost 100,000 words of content and months of work. It was like losing a diary - the story was how I channeled my thoughts, how I expressed my feelings, wrestled with philosophies and debated by beliefs.

But there was one thing that survived - the first chapter. I wanted to make sure I could always read it no matter what, so I posted it publicly - stapled it to the wall of an empty room - and tried to rebuild what I’d lost.

And then people read it.

Three Years Later:

People read it, and liked it. They saw this thing that represented me and they liked it, and they wanted to know when there was going to be more. So I panicked, and I wrote another chapter and posted it. And then after months of people asking me when there was going to be more I posted >another< chapter.

But it didn’t feel right. It felt like strangers reading my diary. What had started as a (arguably unhealthy) coping mechanism for dealing with a reality I couldn’t face had become a silly little story for my readers, and I was beginning to feel embarrassed that I was taking it so seriously. That it was more for me than a story that I had made up, about these books with dull characters and a plot so tedious that I couldn’t make it through reading. This series that was beginning to draw more and more criticism as time went on, and JK Rowling continued to dig the franchises grave deeper and deeper.

Three years later has found me at 20 years old, a better writer, with a lot about my life having changed. I don’t need to read those fan-fictions plots to escape anymore, or daydream about going back in time, or being someone else - I saved myself in a very real, tangible way. I came out as trans and fought to be myself. I’m writing this essay from my own apartment with all the space I want. I attend regular therapy, and own a beautiful puppy service dog named Sirius. I go hiking and to parties, and I sleep at night then I go to work in the morning. I live in a world outside of my own head, surrounded by this beautiful life that I’ve built for myself from nothing.

So Why Start Over?

There’s a lot of reasons. I want to rewrite this story because I’ve gained more experience in life. Because I want to start again, this time without being embarrassed of how much this story means to me, or how long it’s taking me to finish, or being ashamed of taking it this seriously at all.

I want to challenge the idea of fan-fiction as being silly, or unoriginal, or illegitimate - something that needs to be hidden, or kept as a stepping stone before writing “real” novels. I want to be writing this story for the explicitly, publicly stated purpose of it being art on its own, because I have things to say that I want to express specifically through this artistic medium.

I wanted you to know more about me - the stranger behind the words, the man behind the curtain - what this story was really about for me, and where it came from. And now you do.

[khaotunq]

Do you have aye akk headcannons that you haven't shared with the group yet? Also who do you think would propose just because I dreamed about that and you talked about marriage in your tags. So I am completely innocent

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ASKED ABOUT HEADCANONS I'M GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO A VOLCANO

honestly, i don't know that i've got anything special up in the old bargain bucket. i was writing something silly the other day for my own entertainment with eclipse on for background noise and it did sort of slip in that -- and this is as close to controversial as it gets, i know; hold onto yer butts -- i don't think akk's neat? as in tidy. he's organised, sure, but i think his tendency to be a messy bitch extends beyond his personality.

this is a very, very tiny thing okay but go with me on this.

Edit, four hours later: ...apparently it's not a tiny thing. I have had to put a read more because now I've added pictures. Apparently I really do have thoughts.

I think I think of this as a headcanon because a lot of fandom portrayal has Akk as this ruthlessly neat Type A and Ayan as cheerfully messy... but I'm about to insist that this is not, in fact, headcanon: it's canon. I brought receipts.

(I'm kidding but pls nobody bother telling me I'm wrong <3 respectfully, i won't believe u <3)

So over the course of the show we see both Akk and Ayan's bedrooms, right? Prior to the show even beginning, these are rooms they've presumably inhabited for quite some time. There is a whole thing we could get into about their respective economical backgrounds and what the set dressing decor says in regards to that, but I'm not gonna. Not today, at least.

Aside from that and the fact that I have a running joke in my head that Ayan lives in a hotel room in his own home (there's another tangent here about the parallel of ayan not having "roots"/a true home/a "space" but I am trying not to write a dissertation here) - they're teenage boys, right?

However,

FIGS 1.1-1.4: Ayan's bedroom.

Ayan's bedroom has nothing in it. Other than his dead uncle, some Alien urn lamps and a whole lotta beige (potential tangent number 590384: characters and their typical/home surrounding's colouring -- Ayan in golds and brown tones; Kan and Thua surrounded in white; Akk and a whole bunch of blues until he goes home and we see his blues meet Ayan's golds, etc etc -- which i'm sure someone's already done).

Now, it's possible that this is because he and Patcharaporn have someone who comes in to do housework, but even if that were the case, you'd still expect some sort of reflection of it being a teenage boy who inhabits that room... but there's nothing. Yes, I'm aware that this is The Thai BL House, but set dressing isn't something that would be outside the realm of possibility entirely. The most you ever see of Ayan in his room is when he's getting all Conspiracy Cork Board and there are just piles of dictionaries on his desk, or when he's sitting around reading dystopic speculative fiction. A single dystopic speculative fiction book. There are no others.

Come on, Aye.

I could write essays about Ayan Sukkhaphisit and loneliness. Essays.

But this is not that day.

FIGS 2.1-2.4: Akk's dorm room.

Ignoring the fact that there are obvious differences due to Akk's being a dorm and Ayan's being a single room in a house, Akk's room is by contrast overflowing with Akk. Akk has crafted his dorm to reflect himself.

Or rather, to reflect the image he wants to portray, but there are little pieces of him everywhere.

(I'm sure there's meaning in the spoon print, I just don't know what it is yet. The spoon canvas, truly more than anything in Akk's room, Sends. Me.)

There are books everywhere - light sources (tangent 4012432: all of Akk's light sources are caged in some way), knick-knacks that speak to a character with far more to him than he presents to the world, a calendar that never changes from September 3rd.

I think Akk is neat out of necessity, out of maintaining his image; I think Ayan is neat out of never having anywhere to really have stuff. I think, if canon were to progress, we'd see Akk relax even further into his space because it's the only place he can be careless and Ayan begin to be unafraid to actually take up some space.

(Tangent 6535423420: all of Ayan's personality is on him, at all times - the necklace, the hoody: his home is himself. In many ways, while Ayan is a cocky little shit, he's potentially the more deeply insecure.)

(Tangent and class discussion topic 22871342: is Ayan's room being borderline sterile a way of showing that Ayan himself is exactly how he appears to everyone - in that, he has nothing to hide? Compare with Akk's ruthless self control and dogmatic need to be perceived as perfect contrasting with how unsterile his home is.)

(Tangent 900122156: The first time we see Ayan begin to truly inhabit a space is when he and Akk are placing photos of him and his mother in Akk's room)

I'm not getting started on Akk's bedroom at his parents' house because 1. it's a boat cabin, and 2. I have to go eat something, lmao. But, for posterity, I guess:

FIGS 3.1-3.3: Akk's bedroom.

I leave it to you guys to note the multiple and varied light sources (there's still a caged light!), light streaming in from several billion windows, the storage/units brimming with things on or in them, the same dang blue mug from his dorm, the bathroom door wide open to show the mirror and thus adding more light.

(Tangent 123019242222...: Akk standing at the stern/wheel in his bedroom as the above interaction begins and what it means about his need for control while Ayan's mere presence lures him away)

(Additional thought added an hour after I posted this because it was in my head when I started answering this and then it disappeared and then I was brushing my teeth and it's back for some reason so: I think there's part of Akk that actively revels in mess/chaos. Something about him being so externally orderly, something about Ayan throwing his world into chaos and that being what draws him to Ayan, something something something, going to finish brushing my teeth.)

#i tried to keep this concise #i failed #so very hard #mine: the eclipse #eclipse: discuss #anonymous #ask post #so it is decreed #if u read all that i salute u #i am full of nonsense about this show #i didn't think i had as many thoughts on this as i did #because this isn't even all of them #i cut so much out ahdafgjkagd #i don't think anyone was anticipating this #least of all me #amimOOORETHANYOUBARGAINEDFORYET.wav #the eclipse #akkayan #eclipse akk #eclipse ayan

[autisticgirliesbracket]

What makes Nagi Usui from The World Ends With You the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Nagi-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Nagi Usui in the bottom left corner, her glasses are all white and there is blue lightning coming off her. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"Has a special interest in EleStra, a mobile game, and it is her main motivation to live (or to come back to life, at least). Has an unusually formal, sometimes awkward manner of speech; often refers to others with Lord/Lady honorifics. Hyper-empathetic; can sense when people are masking their feelings, and is strongly affected by others' negative thoughts and emotions. Her power allows her to go into others' minds, but she dislikes doing it, both for their privacy and because dealing with their strong emotions exhausts her. Puts significant thought and care into her interactions, calculating every aspect of her behavior when communicating."

"Winner of the The World Ends With You autism bracket! Nagi is very emotionally perceptive and is easily overwhelmed by others' emotions, suggesting hyperempathy. She has a big interest in a game called Elestra, which she talks about often and relates situations from it to situations in real life. She particularly loves one character from the game, and pretends that someone from real life that she knows is that character. While Nagi is very empathetic, she struggles to see things from the point of view of those who are very different from her."

"Trapped in a death game and her sole motivation for escaping is to get back to playing her fave video game which she hyperfixates on. She has a speaking quirk where she talks very eloquently and overly formal and makes a lot of sounds/unintelligible noises to express when she’s feeling excited. Hyper empathetic and makes an active conscious effort to understand and communicate with people, calling it a skill that can be honed like any other."

"Literally died and landed in a death game, but was more worried about not being able to play the next chapter of her gacha game hyperfixation than y'know, being dead She is also hyperempathetic and makes So Many Noises"

" "I am simply aware of the importance of communication. And I take great pains to ensure my interactions with others remain as peaceful as possible. Asking questions. Gauging responses. Reacting aptly. I leverage every element at my disposal—actions, words, emojis, anything at all—to ensure everyone feels welcome.” - This is a direct quote from the game, which should be pretty autistic on its own. But wait, there's more! This is how she's able to Dive into other people's souls and help rid them of their inner demons. When she ends up in a three-week-long series of death games in another layer of reality played by the dead for a second chance at life, her motivation to get back is that there's a new chapter of her special interest mobile game and she can't play it until she's done with all of it. She joins the team because there's a dude who looks eerily like her favorite character who hangs around with them. Her arc resolves not by being less interested in EleStra (said special interest mobile game,) but by getting someone else who she'd previously had trouble getting along with because he spent the game masking INTO EleStra, on the grounds it'll help him cope with grief and improve his social skills. Nagi was voted Most Autistic Swag of the game duology in a fandom tournament, and this is saying something because you can make a case for like 60% of the cast at a low estimate being readable as autistic. She is an autistic queen."

"She obsesses over a mobile game (and one of her teammates because he looks JUST LIKE her blorbo/husbando). She has an ita bag covered in pins of said blorbo. She speaks in an old-timey fashion (she's 19 in modern day Tokyo) and refers to others as "Lord/Lady [Name]". AND she refers that special interest game to others as a way to "heal (their) hearts." She was voted Most Autistic TWEWY character on tumblr in a finals match against someone who's literally nonverbal with a special interest in tech who talks EXCLUSIVELY using text and rarely facially emotes. That's how autistic she is."

"Nagi is described as devoting most of, if not all her time to her pastimes, especially for a certain in-universe mobile game (Elegant Strategy, or EleStra), which she carries an itabag completely decorated with merch of a singular character from the aforementioned game, from several buttons and pins, to a charm, to a keychain plushie. She is also described as "more of a subdued character who can't assimilate into a social environment as easily as other people" by her character designer. I could go on but I'm not sure how to put concepts into words"

"She has an INTENSE special interest in a mobile game called Elegant Strategy to the point where playing it is her main motivation for trying to escape the literal actual death game she gets chucked into. She is highly empathetic which is highlighted by her psych (essentially the magic system in this game) being the ability to dive into other people's minds. She is extremely observant and puts a lot of effort into effectively communicating with the people around her, calling things like jokes or emojis "tools" to make sure everyone has a good time. The twewy fandom hosted an autism poll and she won so she absolutely deserves to go here" End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #nagi usui #the world ends with you

[hepatosaurus]

2023 AO3 Wrapped!

I had a lot of fun tracking my fic reading in 2022, so... I did it again in 2023! Still fun, still both completely unsurprising and a little illuminating at the same time. I definitely read less fic this past year—only 77 across 12 fandoms, compared to last year's 110—but that's OK. Life happens, and I'm very aware that I'm never going to be a person who reads a million words per month (or 100 books a year). Stats-wise, I can't guarantee that these numbers are completely accurate, but they feel right and that's what counts.

Word Count

971,646 words! Numbers fluctuated throughout the year with one real dead zone (lol @ June - I was busy! sibling got married! played a lot of Zelda!), and I kind of petered out by the end of the year. On the plus side, my brain can handle reading actual books again, which was fun. On the minus side: less fic. Oh well. (Also: May's number isn't entirely accurate, but I had to put rubicon's final word count somewhere. No, I haven't finished reading the complete edited fic yet, but that's when the last chapter draft hit my inbox, soooo there.) Most fics were on the shorter side, unsurprisingly (average length was ~12k); I think rubicon was the only one over 100k. I did read more 50–100k fic compared to last year though, which was nice.

(Putting the rest behind a cut. Obligatory warning that this is mostly about Fire Emblem, but what else is new?)

Top Fandoms

My FE3H reading took a HUGE hit this year, falling from 87.3% to... 83.1%. Ouch, how will my faves recover. Really though, this was yet another reminder that although I certainly watched and loved a lot of new movies and tv shows, read new books, played new video games (ok, it was mostly BOTW/TOTK), all things that could conceivably lead me to check out greener pastures, I am still in an extremely monofandom phase in terms of actual fic reading/fandom participation (four years now!). And honestly, I'm fine with that! I'm having fun, blorbos are still my blorbos, there's still a ton of fic I haven't read yet (new and old), and I'm in a nice/quiet/drama-free corner of fandom. Besides, the average fandom lifespan is too short these days anyway. I'm doing my part to break the cycle. :P

I do wish I had the brain space to read a little more widely, though. I was so close to going on a zelink bender after I finished BOTW, but life got busy and it just... didn't happen. Maybe in 2024. Severance and fandom juggernaut SoftBank Next 30-Year Vision tried their best—two fics each! impressive, lol—but the heart wants what it wants, and what it wants is anime chess pieces kissing (and/or killing) each other.

Top Authors

56 individual authors, with the top spot going to...desmodus! which does not surprise me tbh; they write such good fic. Looking at these particular results was an interesting reminder that I'm really not someone who methodically/voraciously reads through an author's entire back catalogue, at least not currently. Like, besides the named authors, there were four more with two fics each and the rest had only one each. Next time, I'm almost tempted to see if I can factor in word count to get a better idea of how much time I really spent reading each author, especially since I might (hypothetically) read multiple forgettable 1–5k fics by Author A, and then a single memorable/meaty 95k fic by Author B that sticks with me for years. Is Author A really more of a "top" author? Not really. That's more work on my part though, so we'll see what happens. (All of this waffling could be solved by making an actual rec list for once, but shhhhh.)

Top Pairings

Surprising absolutely no one, I'm still in sylvix hell. Congrats to None for jumping a couple spots in the rankings, though! A solid showing. I need to get better at tracking platonic relationships, but to be fair, those tags are underutilized on AO3 to begin with (or not used consistently), and I typically—but not always—stick with the main tags chosen by the author.

Also, please note that the ship in sixth place was entirely thanks to alphabetical sorting (it was a six-way tie), but I'm keeping it as is because it makes me laugh/implies some sort of character growth on my part that may or may not exist.

Top Characters

Lol. In my defense(?), Sylvain did drop almost three whole points this year; he couldn't even hit 60%! What kind of blorbo...?! Jokes aside, it's an entirely expected list. My Blue Lions/Golden Deer bias persists, but I'm not sure what determined when I logged "Blue Lions Students" vs. their actual names—probably half laziness, half just following what the author picked. I did love seeing Ask A Manager's Allison Green chilling at the bottom of this list with Bakugo, though. I'm sure she'll be fine. (And god knows Mr. King Explosion Murder and the rest of my top 20 could stand to follow her advice.)

(Also: apologies to Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, as I see his illustrious surname was cut off accidentally. Forgive me.)

Ratings, Categories, etc.

Also pretty unsurprising! I considered cutting my NSFW tracker at the beginning of last year since it's a little redundant, but that never happened. It might come in handy one day, especially if I'm looking through my spreadsheet for individualized recs. I was surprised that the Multi category was so low, but that could be due to inconsistencies in how people tag their fic? And/or how I logged them. Sometimes it means poly, but sometimes it just means that there are multiple kinds of ships in a fic. Either way, it's something to consider for 2024's tracker. Consistency! Let's strive for it! ✨

Tags & Tropes

Also about what I expected, though I was honestly shocked to see Established Relationship ranking so high? And Friends to Lovers so low? What is going ON here. (The former is probably partially due to mikey desmodus's excellent married sylvix fics.) Sorry to Horse Feelings, though; I made a dedicated tag on my google form and everything, but there was only the one fic in the end :(

Etc: Commenting, Rereading, Reccing, and Bookmarks

Commenting: My only real fic-reading "goal" in 2023 was to get my commenting percentage up to at least 50% and...I did that! Just barely, but 51.9% is 51.9%. Obsessive media tracking works!

Rereads: As expected, and pretty in line with last year (with a tiny increase). I'm just not a big rereader in general, though I did do a fair bit of rereading WIPs to prepare for new chapters. (Not sure how I classified those, come to think of it...)

Bookmarks: Also pretty similar to last year (with a tiny decrease).

Reccing: Now this DID surprise me. That "Yes" percentage seems almost absurdly high, jumping from 46.4% to 61%, and my "No"s dropped a ton too (22.7% to 5.2%). Either I got nicer or I just read better fic. :P Leaning towards the former, but probably a bit of both tbh. My one DNF was a longfic WIP that didn't spark joy and was becoming a hateread, which is rare for me - byeeeee.

Takeaways

By now my tracking form has become part of my fic-reading routine (read - track - comment/etc), and I can't see that changing any time soon. Obviously not everyone wants to (or should!) engage with fic this way, and I can definitely see how it might suck the joy out of reading for some people, but for me, it's been a good mental exercise and a really helpful commenting aid. Also, it's just fun. I like thinking critically about media! I like having a place to record my silly little thoughts about the silly little fanfics I read! All in all, I highly recommend doing something similar if you, like me, get a rush from making lists and compiling data, and if you like complimenting people but sometimes need that extra push to actually tell them and post a comment.

Goals-wise... I don't really do those lol. Probably to continue commenting and maybe try to read more widely, but honestly I'm probably not going to change my habits intentionally. Besides, looking at what I've read so far, yes, it's already half Fire Emblem, but also half gen and half F/F with nary a Sylvain in sight*! We got History Boys, we got Haikyuu filk, we got Ingrid and a MILF! Who knows what's around the corner?

(*This is quite literally only because I haven't logged rubicon yet. Don't worry, he's coming.)

#fandom #fic tracking #ao3 wrapped #fandom navelgazing ahoy! #and fire emblem obviously. #also a bit of a rehash for anyone who follows my fe twt but i get to ramble more here

[djmarinizelablog]

Hi! Can I ask for a Levihan Goblin AU where Levi is Grim Reaper and Hange’s Sunny? They don’t know whether to hold on to the sin of the past or focus on another chance given to them to focus on their personal feelings. But it’s totally okay if it’s not something you feel like writing😅

Here's to Our In-Between

Summary: A Grim Reaper named Levi Ackerman meets a mortal named Hange Zoe.

Sidenote: This ask was sent last July 2021... so if you manage to read this, Anon, I hope you're still in love with the fandom (and I am so, so sorry for being late, but writing emotional fics like this one do take time)

And thank you to @oyzoe for giving me a crash course on Goblin many, many months ago (love you lots!)

For Levi, souls are mere dead baggage for his job. He collects them as they come and go. He's a grim reaper, for heaven's sake, so he's merely doing his job as clinically as possible. None of that melancholic angel-like voice guiding them in the afterlife, nor of the haunting chants of him ferrying the departed to peaceful paradise. Saving souls mean nothing to him. No one else ever remembers the past, anyway, so bother?

One thing that baffles him, though, is Hange Zoe's presence. He watches her like a hawk from a distance, curious and intrigued at her peculiarity. Humans can be interesting once in a while, especially when they don't fear death or being forgotten. She's graduating with her college degree, sure, but for a student, she sure does meditate a lot on mortality, philosophizing about it in front of her friends in cafes and libraries, and Levi can't help but listen and follow around, invisible.

Then the inevitable happens.

She trips right in the middle of the street, and a speeding car honks at her, lights blaring. Hange closes her eyes and doesn't move, thinks her end has finally come.

(It's not her turn to die yet, Levi is aware of it, and he'll make sure that doesn't happen today.)

So he appears to her for the first time, in flesh and blood, like a god-turned-mortal, pulling her back to the safety of the sidewalk. A mishap, perhaps---or is it fate? Levi can't tell how someone like Hange can stir old feelings inside him.

The crowd is hushed when he doesn't let go of her hand and Levi knows he's become human like the rest of them.

"Thank you, I--" Hange turns around to face her savior and they're both appalled when the strange man starts tearing up without reason. Levi pulls a hand to his face and feels the wetness in his cheeks.

After composing herself, Hange can only laugh at her lifesaver. "Am I that gorgeous?"

He bites his lip and hates to admit anything but the truth: all the memories of her in his previous life are flashing right before his very eyes.

*

Earth feels nothing like heaven, or even hell. Not that there's anything to look forward to on earth, anyway.

Unlike Levi, Hange doesn’t remember anything about her past. Not the rain nor the river. In fact, Hange doesn’t remember jumping into the rapids with a dead body to avoid captivity. At least, not in this world. There are no flashbacks in her mind when the stranger mentions these so-called memories.

"Must have triggered the recollection when I became human after the incident," he's speaking his mind, and Hange is appalled.

"Right..." she nods, not following at all.

"I'm not crazy, I promise," the stranger named Levi leans towards her, careful not overstep his boundaries, as they sit across each other in a café near her lab.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You saved my life," he says again, his voice very much human, "I owe you everything."

This person sitting across her doesn't have much to say anymore, except that he’s an old friend, a comrade from the past that she fought alongside with, but Hange has never entered the military. Not in this life, no. Neither does she dream of enlisting in it. Hange's world comprises of lab experiments and safety goggles, of test trials and meticulous methodologies.

It's only been an hour since she first met him. Hange's had an inkling that this could be a trick, a scam, but from the way he sounds so sincere and desperate, Hange might as well fall for it. "Mister... Ackerman, right?"

"You can call me Levi."

"What was I to you?"

"Someone..." He bites his lip, tries to think of the best thing to say. "special."

She looks up to the dark skies as if searching for something. Some sign or meaning behind this. "Levi," she says his name as if it would bring back something from what she's supposed to know, but nothing. “So, what else do you remember? About me?"

The man says in a heartbeat: "Everything."

He promises to fill her in with the details, perhaps try to sketch a portrait of their lives from the world he knew. Hange believes in the afterlife, and even though she's not religious, she's spiritual enough to know that there are ways for people to reencounter their lovers in another life. She asks him questions about grim reapers and souls, and Levi tries to think of Hange in their past life and sighs at how cruel and beautiful the world can be.

*

Settling into the human world (again) can be quite daunting at first, but Levi knows there's a limit to how long he can take a break from being a grim reaper. His heart breaks when he finds out that he only has another day until he loses his mortality once more.

"When you finally leave, I promise I'll be there to say goodbye," Hange tells him, holding out her pinky finger for him to curl his own against.

And indeed she does.

He meets Hange outside her house on the last day, says he has one last thing to do before he goes away. There's a somber look in her eye once she comes out of her door.

"I wish there was a way for me to see who I was in your lifetime," Hange confesses to him. Levi might have lived centuries as a grim reaper, but in reality, immortality brings him fear.

"There is one way, actually," he tells her. "A reaper's kiss will allow a person to remember their past life."

"Why didn't you say so right away?" Hange grabs his collar in her first, half angry and annoyed.

He doesn't dare tell her that he's afraid to know who he was to Hange in her past life. It was too much of a burden for anyone to bear, to see how tragic their previous lives were. Levi hopes this was the right choice. That in the case Hange would choose to see her past, he hopes that she'll only remember the happy times.

"Well then, Levi Ackerman..." Hange Zoe's voice is close to a whisper, almost a plead. "Will you kiss me?"

Slowly, he pulls her close to him and kisses her in the dark.

The memories instantly flood into her head, of saving Levi, of tending to his injuries, of sacrificing herself. Hange finds herself laughing with Levi as well as with other people--comrades, friends, maybe?--and of crying with the younger soldiers. It's full of heartache but it's also brimming with determination and comfort, of selflessness and love.

When he pulls away from the kiss, there's only silence at first. The sky has gone dark with the late-night hour. And this time, Hange is crying. "What did I just see? What was that all about?"

He kisses her once more on the forehead for good measure. "Our past life."

Levi prays that in their next life, the wait will be short and the meeting shall be long.

#levihan #attack on titan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #aot #snk #fanfic #fanfiction #djmarinizela

[thyandrawrites]

Isnt it crazy how when touya was dead enji had no problem using him as a symbol of his atonement praying to his shrine begging for him to be there because it is so easy to use a person who is long gone and cant speak for themselves anymore to imagine he is supporting your atonement (which touya literally prayed for after the coma so he is kind of right) but the moment touya is back but as a version enji doesn't like a villain who has risen from the ashes of his picture perfect son and he has agency he is suddenly reverting back to his old narcissistic self and refusing to accept the reality? It is very weird he is so opportunistic

I was literally talking about the same thing the other day, lol

But yeah, I agree. All this time Enji has just been using Touya's memory as an excuse to keep persisting in the abuse, rather than honoring it properly, or doing anything to show he ever respected his eldest as an individual.

By the way, as a minor side note, I just wanted to mention that it's best to avoid terms like "narcissist" in fandom talk. I used to do it too before I knew better, so please don't take this as criticism! But I've been made to reflect on the fact that armchair diagnosing fictional characters, particularly by using terms like this one to carry a pejorative undertone, can contribute to the stigmatization of real life people with the same disorder. Now, I'm far from an expert in the field and I am guilty of doing the same in the past, but I just wanted to quickly say something. A lot of people call enji that without being aware that it can be harmful

And since I'm on the topic, this is a public self-callout and apology for contributing to the trend

#Ali replies #Bnha

[grayintogreen]

wip ask game: the moves intended?

YOU HAVE FOUND THE ANCIENT TEXTS. I included this one because I have like 25k of it and it's like fifteen years old and I thought "why not expose everyone to my writing from almost two decades years ago for a fandom NO ONE CARES ABOUT."

It was originally for a Big Bang on LJ that didn't end up getting off the ground and given that the fic would have been way more than 20k (obviously seeing as it's 25k with three chapters written), that was for the best. It was my first attempt to write a long fic that just didn't pan out because I was younger and dumber than I am now.

Anyway this is an Alias canon divergence AU that follows an alternate history where the zombie plague virus at the end of Season Four wasn't prevented and a lot of people died, so Sydney is now in control of APO due to her dad being dead, Sloane being MIA presumed traitor (again), and Dixon being MIA and features a lot of minor characters in starring roles (as you see a pattern begin to emerge). It involves Sydney and Sark having to work together when it's discovered that Sark is the only person with a specific immunity to the virus and therefore he has to be protected against Sydney's will because fuck that guy, and they learn to respect each other. Enemies to friends in a zombie apocalypse-core.

Here's a snippet:

And then, suddenly, something occurred to Sydney and she couldn't shout at him anymore. The look on his face was hollow, almost pained, like he was fully aware of the realization and found the concept slightly terrifying. "You want my mother back so she'll tell you what to do." "You'd bleed yourself dry if it would save the world, Sydney," he murmured after an excruciatingly long pause. "I'd bleed myself dry if she asked me to."

WIP RAMBLE GAME.

#i really want to go back to this fic and the only thing stopping me #is a full rewatch of the series and an understanding that barely anyone is going to read it because this fandom is so very dead #my writing #ask game

[laternenfischchen]

Ok. First time actually posting about something that bothers me about a fandom response to a canon scene.

The night billy beats steve at the byers' house. I'm absolutely not a fan of violence, i am not excusing the whole damn mess.. but i can absolutely see where he's coming from.

Billy has his father riding his ass about finding max. He goes out and searches for the step-sister who just got him into trouble and gets hit on by a grown ass woman (whole other can of worms, that.). He then finds his step-sister.. in the company of 4 guys, at a stranger's house. 3 boys and a adult. Alone, with his thirteen year old step-sister.. and steve lies to him about it. To his face. Repeatedly, despite billy giving him the chance to come clean... and even saying why the situation "gives him the heebie jeebies".

What did steve think was gonna happen?

What exactly should billy think is going on here? There's a lot of really ugly stuff happening in the world and i'm pretty sure Billy is rather more aware of monsters of the human variety than max... and no matter how much billy likes or dislikes her.. i'm pretty sure he doesn't want her to be a really unfortunate statistic.

They are from california. I had a wikispiral about stand-out underage murder victims in the US yesterday and let me tell you: the 70s and early 80s had horrifying statistics in california.

Just one example: In '81 a 14 year old girl was killed by a 16 year old boy in santa clara county in california. Marcy Renee Conrad if anybody wants to read up on it. The case got a lot of media coverage and billy was definitely old enough to have heard a lot about that.

He would have been aware of more than one or two stand out cases... and that's without the serial killer victims, the jane does that are still unidentified to this day and the dead kids that never made it on the wikipedia list.

Frankly? I would have been really damn wired, too.

The kids not realizing? Understandable. But steve could have had that penny drop at some point. Joyce and Hopper are parents. Hell, Hopper is a policeman with a daughter. There should have been somebody realizing how that looked to an outsider. Even if it was just later after everything calmed down a bit.

And the lucas mess.. well. Does neil hargrove strike anybody as a particularly tolerant fellow? Does billy have a problem with lucas being black? Or does billy have a problem because neil has a problem with lucas being black? Or is it just because lucas is too close to max? Hell if i know but he told max at least twice to stay the hell away from the kid.

Additionally this was the 80s and scaring/hitting a guy for chasing after his sister would have been much less of a horrifying thing for the people around him. Hell, i'm not nearly that old but nobody lost their mind over boys brawling when i was a teenager either... and nobody here needed racism to want to knock somebody out for flirting with the wrong girl. Coming from another city-part or from a town over was plenty of reason already if one was needed.

Looking at canon and judging characters without keeping the general attitudes of the time in mind is kinda... meh.^^

TLDR; billy had reasons to lose his shit at the byers' house. Not excusing it or anything... but it explains it and i'm sick and tired of people not actually thinking about what the whole evening looked like from billy's perspective.

#stranger things #billy hargrove #max mayfield #steve harrington #tw: child murder #billy hargrove meta #fandom stuff #frustration #fandom rant #rant #fanfiction #jim hopper #joyce byers #tw: racism