#i am nkt saying hes *better*

[alloutofgoddesses]

Percy Jackson TV thoughts -

Season 1, Episode 3

(I’m a book reader and I’m not holding back book spoilers)

The attic is show creaky

And apparently so is Percy

Walker is doing an incredible job portraying Percy’s “I hate everything” attitude

The craziest line reading it’s so stilted thank you Timm Sharp. Also condescending which is very Gabe

That’s awkward as hell why would you gather all the “good candidates”

BLACKJACK HIIIIIII BLACKJACK

Grover you’re killing me

That backpacks full of apples and tin cans you can’t fool me Underwood

Percy is SO FUNNY HELP

“Don’t mix ‘em up” Luke I know I can’t trust you stop being witty

THERE THEY ARE

Annabeth saying goodbye to Thalia… I’m losing it she’s just a BABY

I shouldn’t laugh but I think Thalia would so we’re good

Percy. She’s always in charge.

So no Seaweed Brain and Wisegirl? Rick when I find you

Percy you could’ve put them in your bag and left the box

The way Grover’s hair is styled to cover the horns more when they’re in the mortal world… hairdressers I love you

Can I have the full consensus song please I think it would actually be helpful

Also Grover being a 24 year old dealing with squabbling twelve year olds… Gods speed dude

Annabeth is so perfect. Like. She’s so annoying. It’s spot on. Annabeth is annoying in the books

SCREAM ALECTO!!! They hired the perfect actress for these lines

I get the plot reasons but if you had time to pick up anything WHY THE SHOES AND NOT THE BAG WITH MONEY IN IT PERCY

Please tell me they’re getting rid of the idea that demigods can’t use technology. I always thought it was dumb

Oh no Uncle Ferdinand…

Absolutely laying the tracks for Percy telling the gods to do better by their kids *chef’s kiss*

SO YOU FOLLOW IT? Grover you’re better than this

Hey. If the cyclops next season have those talons. I’m gonna be SO SCARED the whole time

MEEEDDDUUUUSSSSAAAAA!!!! I desperately want to cosplay this

I love the changes already

Percy… that beautiful fatal flaw

I mean yeah you’re mom is almost always right but still be on guard little man

Annabeth. I can’t wait for you to loosen up. She’s wound as right as a violin string.

*cheers from the crowd* I am fully on Medusa’s side btw. No matter what she was a victim of the god’s whims.

Annabeth my little baby you gotta think about multiple perspectives

The little milkshakes on the side. Does Medusa just wait for people to come along to feed or did she smell Percy from a couple miles away and really quickly whip stuff up

Thank god the box is being left behind

THE BASEMENT REALLY GUYS. There had to have been a back door

A MAIL CARRIER? What did a mail carrier do Medusa

I love that the snakes aren’t standing up like a lot of Medusa artworks portray… they’re noodles they wouldn’t be at attention all the time

Oh now THAT’S INSPIRED. Nkt as iconic as the reflective surface of an iPod though

Who’s gonna remind them there’s still one more. Also does this mean she’s a broken statue forever or since she’s a monster she’s reincarnating in Tartarus? I have so many questions

Oh Uncle Ferdinand. I’m glad Grover got to have an emotional moment that he wasn’t afforded in the book

Hell yeah good job Grover. Sometimes you Do have to be a little mean to get past some stuff.

Oh so we get the “I am impertinent” line verbatim but not SEAWEED BRAIN AND WISE GIRL

Percy I’m obsessed with you

Now who could this be

GAH LOOK AT HIM… he looks just a tad angry though lol

So does he have express straight to the throne room since he’s Hermes or did they change the placement of the elevator

AAAAAHHHHHH I need more immediately

Preview for next ep

Why are they splashing him

SHE’S ON THE BUS?!?!?!

Very excited for the arch… I’ve been there and I will be honest I only remember some of the museum stuff at the bottom and how claustrophobic the top is so I’m excited to hopefully jog my memory

#PJO tv #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians

[clonehub]

Episode 12 of the bad batch

One day. One day I'll write video essay on this series and it'll just be me struggling not to say "mediocre" and "grand waste of animation" over and over

Oh her name is eleni

Given everything rampart is a solid antagonist. Altho I guess it's because the Kaminoans (Nala se) are being rehabilitated? Almost. And rampart just got that Cunning Patient Energy that characters in his position tend to have.

I'm not sure his undercut goes low enough lol

Oh I've always loved chopper

I love when they get like normie ass voices for side characters theyre a breath of fresh air in this show

Why do they have the gonk droid? Is he just like a pet?

Also lmao @ "he's a defective unit" I see this was meant to be like a "we collect defects this is the misfit club" Emotional Line. Too bad it didn't work because they went out of their way in the first like 3 episodes to make sure we don't understand them as defective. At all. In fact that they're multiply enhanced and better than everyone on purpose.

GIRL NO YOIRE NOT?????? YOURE NKT DEFECTIVE AAAHHHH--

Tech pls. "Children often overreact" bc......you have so much experience w children lol

Also how does "the empire took my parents" sound like an overreaction

Yeah this is what Omegas arcs tend to be--convincing tbb to help other people. I can see how this would be written as a Good Conflict to consistently have, as one could argue tbbs lack of concern for other folks and their unwillingness to help others stems from them originally doing that with regs all the damn time so no they're self centered as a default. Like I can see how that could be a potential understanding here but unforch the execution of it :/

Assassination attempt? I thought he was dead

The rare presentation of hunters special senses

I wonder how they divide the sectors

They. Always have Hunter at the worst angles for his close ups he's always got his head bent but eyes upward like he's looking at something while Posing idk

Hunter has a point and omega has a point wow. The most like. Moral ambiguity we get in this series so far

Meilooruns!

Now crosshair is gonna feel the need to prove himself since it's been implied that howzer (a reg) might replace him for this job and be proven to be better than him. If the series could lean in more to Crosshairs insecurity issues (at least they look like that to me) it would be massively improved

Brother? Him? Yeah Hera yeah....

But this is literally the first time Omega calls them her brothers.

Nice use of a pause I think

This is some of the most emotional VAing I've heard from this man in literal years.

I like that Echo and Tech are taking her seriously

I think Hunters face model is just weird

I wish they'd do a wider variety of body types for bg characters

The way chopper moves is so fnsndnaksnaka

Pls he's so violent

How is Echo climbing??

Omega needs kids her age to be conniving friends w I feel like she should get into trouble

I just have to tune out techs British accent

Not him closing the curtain fansbaknsajaj

"I should have stopped this sooner" is kinda crazy because he's one guy like

Look at crosshair underestimating his enemy 😊

Chips having a wear off is an interesting mechanic. As dehumanizing as this show can be to the regs the ability for them to get their humanity back is nice

I think Hera might just be tall for her age

Crosshair having a whole face journey and I am not deciphering a single part of it. Seemed like conviction and hesitation in equal measure

#ch posts #tbb rewatch

[alchemiclee]

lee ramblies rambly rambles rambling in a ramblying way with some deep thinky rambling thoughts

it's kinda nice no longer having friends who see me as "Man" and it's more fun to enjoy girls without them saying i'm acting like every creepy man towards girls/am no different from a straight guy if I simply say a girl is pretty or have one as a phone background or whatever. so I always ignored girls and avoided them and didn't acknowledge them basically because what these people said made me feel gross. I just always felt a big sense of GAY and straight feel not correct when applied to me so it was confusing. ( normalize not knowing your gender/sexuality solidly at all times because it's fluid. but that's a different convo )

i'm some kind of gender that's trans. I did some kind of transition to find something comfy for me that's more androgynous and also needed to get rid of my body's hormones because they made me sick and surgery for that requires transition. I experimented with gender and stuff. but settled on nonbinary. had many past friends decide because I said i'm not exactly girl that means i'm Man when i'm some sort of nonbinary. i'm neither. but i'm way less Man than girl (also why is phone capitalizing Man lmao stop) I guess i'm more closer to femme nonbinary?

when admiring girls, it's not in a man way. it's way closer to a leabian way. it feels more right to see me as nonbinary lesbian than straight man like some past friends tried to push on me after telling them i'm trans or especially while trying out he/him pronouns to see how that felt. they/them is starting to feel the best and i tell new people to use those. wouldn't be mad being called nonbinary-they/them-lesbian roght now tbh. better than being called a man lmao

but is also nkt completely correct. i'm aroace as far as I know. so maybe nonbinary aroace lesbian vibes.

could partially be because I some dissociative nonsense in my brain and possibly alters and one seems to be a super lesbian and one is nonbinary lesbian. there's androgynous gay boy but he hides in shadows and never comes out anymore. rest are simply aroace so the lesbians hold most of the power in this house and are usually the ones posting on this blog but still not sure if i'm making it up or they really exist you know haha idk who I am🙃

#words #lee rambles #WHY IS EXPLAINING BRAIN HARD. #who am i even haha just dissociating like crazy and wishing i could hold a girls hand or something ha ha

[crazyalien87]

Maybe it cringe & codependent but idc bc my bf fixed my self-esteem

When he first asked me out, something broke in my brain. (somethin bad, thus now my brain is better). over the course of our relationship ive realized that existing the way i am (ugly & fat & female) is actually not bad at all bc my bf is attracted to me actually. Like actually i dont need to like my reflection (still dont most times) bc he likes it. For once Im not actually hating being fat. My self-esteem has reverted to like elementary before puberty & society fucked it up. Im still a grown woman not a child I just mean it's been that long since i had actual good self-esteem based in my actual self & not on my imagination.

Like he is retraining my brain a bit (not purposefuly i dont mean gaslight he a good hombre) like now when i see my belly in the mirror i think "this is good belly" bc he say many times he like my belly🥰. Now im like Holy shit. This is actually good this is how i should feel about my own body.

(also before u rant about health first go fuck urself. second. im the rare 1% of fat ppl who is fat due to medical disorder not due to drinking 10 cokes everyday & it super difficult for me to lose weight & like eat enough food still so like maybe im just meant to be like this & i dont have diabetes. so fuck off).

Of course i love him bc i love him nkt bc he fixed my self-esteem but he is so epic dude i could rant about him forever he so handsome and sweet and cool and funny and silly and good at programming and.....hot... and.. .i think u get it lolololol

#text #personal #update #im basically using this blog as a diary rn i #im dumping so much stuff bc i havent been here in a while and i dont got nowhere else to say things

[nofoodclub]

I was careful on my wording for my manifestations bc technically i am sleeping with j right now lol not that i don't enjoy this i did very precisely say i wanted to fuck, do the sex, or really and kind of close physical intimacy… anything like that could come next we will see…aside from dragging him to the bed or straight up asking for it idk how to make it happen it took us months to get to it the first time who kiss l knows how much the both of us will shy away from initiating round 2…theoretically it should be less awkward the 2nd time but that would be true if the last month or so didn't happen the way it did… neither of us wanted it to play out like that but it did and now we are here so gotta figure out how to make the best of it….i really would like the best of it and for things to not quietly fixzle out… we could have lots of good times and funs just gotta get past step one and get it going… that'll be the hard part but i belive in us. Wow last night was the first night in almost a week i didn't fuck anyone we better get to it quick before i lose my streak 6 nights 3 partners was a whole new kind of deal for me or can go on record as my slutty week lol i don't want it to be over it was quite fun and there's still the 4th partner that I'm missing and he's the most important one…. and he's right across the room from me but unfortunately fully clothed and no cues as to things moving in that direction other than the tangible level of awkward or sexual tensions between us earlier…i just gotta keep being patient it'll play out the way it should and in my eyes it should play out in a very fun and happy way that involves sucking of his dick then letting that slide on in me and building on the feelings i has from when he sent me the text saying good girl bc wow two words one text and it got me so fucking worked up nothing has hit me at that intense of a level it was a straight 0-100 in 2 seconds i need more of that i need him to fully be my dom and fuck me the way I've been waiting for. There were nods to it the first time but we were feeling eachother out and getting lost in the intimacy of the occasion it was probably some of the most passionate sex I've had more so than with r bc wow the feels i already have for this guy, they're a lot and I'm all for it i want every part of it every day from here on please and thank you. Still loving my free pass to stare at his lovely face all i want its very nice i and l want this to last forever but i would also really like him to wake up so we can have all the funs…. leaning more to the side of he should wake up all that talk has me pretty horny atm and there's the prefect person to take care of my needs laying right in front of me how lucky

Very thankful for the sunlight coming in now… giving me a nice look at his lovely face that i haven't seen for like an hour since i shut off the lights… here's the first time I'll say this…. thanks sun for coming out at 6 am

Oh goodness lil pup is snuggling her daddy its so fucking cute i want to be a part of those cuddles so bad theyre adorable had to take a picture of the cute bc ohmygod i cant hope he never sees all the pics ive taken of him sleeping lol theres a few…

He has stirred….for a momenf, repositioned now nkt really alseep i sense waking will be a thing shortly. At least i hope it will be sleep is nkt a thing for me st the momenf. Maybe a nap this afternoon

Out of curiosity just confirmed the date and tomorrow will mark one month since we did the do…hmm would be fitting for it to happen today, that is if he ever fucking gets up uhg im bored and i wana bone there is a beautiful man only a few feet away from me and all of his clothes are securely on with no removal even hinted at how sad….but really tho i am incredibly physically attracted to him…and emotionally and any other type of attraction there is im sure im feeling it for him but ive resigned myself to know that theres next to no chance of it going anywhere past maybe a few more casual hookups due to current/permanent obstacles that wont allow for anything closer. But still i would love to feel him that close to me again. It felt right….more so than really any of my other encounters have felt. And i fucking wanted it. Thats what im missing a lot of the time, i go for easy targets because i know i wont fail but then i loose interest very quickly amd by the time we get to sex im kinda over it but still horny enough that i still want to fuck just all of the excitement is gone for me. That was not the case with him….probably what is keeping me so stuck on him is the ati wanting him, the challenge is still there, its still a conquest for me and theres still the possibility of failing meaning if it works, ive won the prize and its a pretty darn good prize too. If only my prize would wake up!!!

[kitasfox]

If you think gojos bigger than toji, I'd like to inform you that you're very fucking wrong, that man with the third leg is a titan.

#toji thirst #jjk smut #🕯fables #🕯fox thirsts #i am nkt saying hes *better* #but he is bigger #fight me

[moonscriptsx]

Misguided (M)

SUMMARY: After a run in with one of Johnny's fellow frat brothers, you had thought he had just been after one thing. But when, not only Johnny himself, but with the help of your friends, they helped you realize that you had made some very misguided judgments. // “What tastes better than it smells?” [PART OF THIS COLLAB]

GENRE/WARNINGS: College!AU, Fraternity!AU; A smidge of angst with a dash of Johnny being a soft (slight) dom, and Yuta drunkenly saying shit he shouldn’t.

WORDS: 14.5k.

A/N: Part of @versigny​‘s collab!

Sweaty bodies pressed up against one another crowded the middle of the room, the stench of alcohol and smoke filling the air as drunken party goers drank away the last of their freedom. It was the mark of the beginning of the semester, the party that let the usually stressed out college students have one last hurrah before they were subjected to the torment of piles upon piles of homework and countless essays that kept them up at night. It was the end of summer, the subsequent end of one’s free will to party all day and night -- and what better what to end it than to have said party thrown by the most notorious fraternity on campus.

The NKT house was more than luxurious, it was a place made for someone akin to royalty -- and those who resided within it were nothing short of that. Always dressed in their most expensive and lavish clothing, foreign cars and opulent toys lined along their driveway, it was no wonder why the fraternity had always opted to throw the best parties. They were the best of the best, the so called ‘big dogs’ on campus, and everyone either knew them personally or at least of them.

While you had joined in on your fair share of parties throughout the year, the first big event of the year was never one of them. Between having just moved back into your dorm room and getting yourself situated for the first semester, you wanted to have your last night of freedom spent in solitude and peace, the calm before the storm. Well -- that and you would rather not show up to the first day of classes completely hungover and hating yourself for the mistakes from the night before. You would usually lay out everything you needed for the first day; books, pens, highlighters, etc. You were prepared and ready for the shitstorm ready to come along with the endless lists of syllabuses and swarm of homework.

But not tonight.

By the grace of god (or, rather Hana, your best friend and roommate), you reluctantly found yourself at the notorious NKT house for the first official party of the year. Hana had disappeared the moment the two of you had arrived, the girl muttering something about how she had to go find someone to spend the night with. You, on the other hand, had wandered aimlessly around the fraternity, scoping over the different sets of party goers that occupied the large, luxurious home. Between the different couples that were attached to one another in the corners of the room to the strangers pressing up against one another in the middle of the dance floor, you were completely over the atmosphere within the first five minutes -- which is how you ended up laying on one of the pool chairs out in the backyard, your face turned up towards the sky as you heaved a heavy sigh.

Although you had promised Hana that you would, at least, try to have a good time tonight, you weren’t exactly in the party mood. When it came to you actually joining them, it was when you were in the most crucial state; the ready to rip your hair out, tearing your essays to shreds, drinking all night until you forget about your responsibilities kind of state.

Shifting your gaze from the sky to the clear blue of the pool, your fingers twisted idly in your lap as you leaned back against the lounge chair, so completely lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t even realized someone had plopped down next to you until a deep voice filled your ears.

“Having fun?”

Your gaze lands on a smiling face of - quite possibly - one of the most handsome guys you’d ever laid eyes on. His hair is parted to the side, deep chestnut locks spilling over one side of his face. His eyes hold a curious but warm gaze, the inviting smile making him appear friendly instantly. There’s a beer bottle grasped in his right hand, and from where you’re sitting you can notice it half empty. Clearing your throat you sit up slightly in the chair, your body turning in his direction as you offer him a polite smile and a half hearted shrug.

“Eh, I guess,” you replied. The boy raised an eyebrow at your words, the smile never leaving his face as he tilts his head slightly.

“You guess?” He chuckled.

“I mean -- I’m not particularly in the partying mood tonight,” you clarified. “Usually I stay back from parties the night before my first class but my roommate talked me into coming tonight.”

The boy nodded in acknowledgement, a quiet ‘ah’ escaping him as he took a sip from his beer.

“That makes sense,” he mused quietly. “However I am glad that your roommate succeeded in talking you into coming.”

You raised an eyebrow at that, your gaze turning curious as you cast a glance towards the boy whose smile slid into a playful grin.

“Why is that?”

He took another sip of his drink before he replied.

“I never would’ve gotten to meet a beautiful girl like you if you hadn’t.”

Your breath hitched at that. While it was beyond predictable and cheesy, hearing it come from the boy undoubtedly made your heart race wildly. A flush of heat makes its way onto your cheeks and you have to tear your gaze away from him as you shyly tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, a string of curses flowing through your mind as you tried to keep your cool. The boy next to you must’ve taken your silence as a bad thing though, his grin immediately faltering as he drew back slightly.

“I’m sorry, that was too forward --”

“No, you’re fine!” You had cut him off, too quickly for your liking, and you clear your throat as you tried to play it off. “I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything --”

“You didn’t, don’t worry,” you reassured him. “Thank you, though. You’re sweet.”

That seemed to settle him, the warm smile returning to his face as he sits up on the chair before he held his hand out towards you.

“I’m Johnny.”

You gently took his hand, cursing yourself silently when you almost yelped at the warmth of his touch.

“(Y/N).”

Johnny grinned, his thumb gently stroking against the back of your hand before he pulled back.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you looked away from him again as another rush of heat brushed against your cheeks, your gaze settling on the calm splashing of the water in the pool. A comfortable silence washed over the two of you then and you wondered how you had never seen him around campus before -- a face like that was one you definitely would remember coming across at least once or twice in passing.

He seemed different, too.

Most guys you met at parties were almost too drunk to even speak, their bodies waddling and stumbling over their own two feet as they crashed into you. The drunken pick up lines and - what they thought to be - smooth moves were nothing short of obnoxious. Not to mention they had always seemed to be more than touchy which was disgusting and uncomfortable all in itself. But Johnny… He had this sense of serenity around him, an innocence almost, and you couldn’t help but feel comfortable with him despite only knowing him for mere minutes. It was odd, to say the least, but it felt… Nice.

Casting a glance towards him, you bit your lip as you tried to settle the butterflies within your stomach, one leg crossing over the other as you leaned back comfortably in the chair.

“So what’s your major?” You asked, trying to play it cool.

“English Literature,” he replied, making your eyes widen.

“Really?”

Johnny chuckled.

“Yeah,” he affirmed. “Is that weird?”

“No!” You shook your head, excitement bubbling up within you now. “I’m actually majoring in the same thing.”

Johnny sat up at that, a large grin dancing across his lips as he looked at you.

“English Literature with Mr. Kim? Tomorrow at 9:30?” You nodded, making Johnny’s grin even wider -- if that was possible. “Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot of each other then.”

You can’t help but match his grin then, your legs folding underneath you as you turned your body to face him completely.

“Who are some of your favorite writers?”

Johnny pursed his lips in thought, his fingers drumming idly on his knees as he wracked his brain.

“Well me, personally, I’m more into poetry than novels --”

“Seriously?” You cut him off, eyes widening. “I’m the same way.”

Johnny shook his head in mock disbelief, hands folding in his lap as he leaned back against the chair.

“Wow,” he grinned. “Who would’ve guessed that you and I would not only have the same major but also the same interests.”

You laughed quietly, nodding along to his words.

“Maybe it’s just one big coincidence?” You guessed, making Johnny smirk.

“That could be a reason,” he agreed. “Or maybe it’s fate.”

Your breath hitched at that, your body growing rigid at his words, and Johnny stared at you for a moment before he burst into laughter.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “That was too much.”

You masked your racing heart with a quiet laugh, your gaze shifting towards the ground as you try to settle down. If you weren’t intrigued by him earlier you sure as hell were now. How was it even possible that someone who you had just met already seems like you had known them for years. Johnny’s aura was remarkable; he was confident yet humble, outgoing yet shy. He was friendly, warm, and he just about knew every damn button to press to make your heart feel as if it’s going to beat out of your damned chest -- and yet you loved every minute of it.

Johnny pulled your attention back as he spoke again.

“And to answer your question from earlier,” he began. “My favorite writer is Edgar Allan Poe.”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, a hum of appreciation quietly escaping you as you give a nod of approval.

“‘Quoth the Raven ‘Nevermore’, huh?” You playfully joked, making Johnny laugh.

“That’s the one everyone knows, right?” He chuckled. “I mean, don’t get me wrong it is a good poem, but I prefer some of his other writings. The Black Cat, The Power of Words, not to mention some of the sonnets he’s written. It was intriguing to me, honestly, the way he could have such dark and mysterious themes on one page and then do a completely different theme such as love on another. It’s beautiful, in my opinion.”

“I completely understand. After all, he’s one of the greatest writers.”

“Oh most definitely,” Johnny agreed. “What about you, though? Who’s your favorite?”

You watched as Johnny took the last swig of his beer before you finally answered.

“I’m a very big fan of Emily Dickinson but my all time favorite has to be Shakespeare.”

Johnny’s eyes widened at that, jaw slacked in surprise.

“Woah, really?” He asked. “Everyone I usually talk to always complains about having to read Shakespeare’s works.”

“That’s because they only have to read his plays to dissect what they mean in class. I’m willing to bet that if they had read his poems and sonnets on their own, they would’ve loved him. The man had a way with words.”

Johnny nodded in agreement.

“That’s for damn sure.”

Your gaze fell back onto the rippling water of the pool as another wave silence washes over the two of you, a small smile gracing your lips. You’re completely oblivious to the stare Johnny is giving you, the boy nervously chewing on his lip as his gaze wracked over you. He’s twiddling his thumb anxiously, and he’s opening his mouth to say something when a drunken yell of his name echoes throughout the air.

“Ayo, Johnny!”

Both yours and Johnny’s gaze falls on a boy stumbling out of the frat house, a red solo cup in his hands as he waddles towards the two of you. A large grin is plastered over the stranger’s lips and he all but drapes himself over Johnny when he reaches him. Johnny can’t help but let out an exasperated sigh, the boy’s arm slinging over the stranger’s shoulders as he stands up from the chair to help his friend stand properly.

“Where have you been, man?!” The unnamed boy slurred, eyes drunkenly glazed over. “I’ve been looking all over the place for you-- oh, hello.”

The stranger’s eyes finally settled on you, a sly smirk gracing his plump lips, and he’s leaning coolly against Johnny as his eyes rake along your body. You shift uncomfortably underneath the stranger’s gaze and Johnny takes notice, the boy gently tugging the drunkard towards the house.

“Come on, Yuta. Let’s get you some water --”

“Oh shit, was I interrupting?” Yuta hiccuped as he finished speaking, a drunken laugh escaping him as he nudges Johnny’s shoulder. “Glad you’re finally taking my advice and getting some ass, man! Good on ‘ya!”

Your heart dropped at his words.

Of course -- of fucking course you would fall for the charms of a sweet talker. Of course you would believe that he thought you were beautiful, that he was different from the rest of the guys that tend to hit on you.

Anger flared up inside of you within that moment, your jaw clenching tight, and you unfolded your legs from the chair and stood up, arms wrapping around your middle when a brisk breeze blew past you.

“I should get going,” you said curtly, making Johnny frown.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I can walk you out --”

“It’s okay, Johnny. I’ve got to find my roommate anyways. Besides,” you paused, shooting a glance towards Yuta. “It’s obvious you’ve got more important things on your hands.”

Grabbing your phone off the edge of the chair you turn to walk away when Johnny called out from behind you.

“I’ll see you in class then?”

Shit, you forgot about that.

Sending him a curt smile over your shoulder you nodded.

“Sure.”

And with that, you walked back towards the house.

The crisp morning air is a brisk reminder of the start of the semester, the student body all but dragging themselves across the campus of the school in order to get to their first class of the day. You were willing to bet that the majority of them were either still drunk or completely hungover from the night before, a soft chuckle escaping you as you catch sight of Hana lulling herself next to you.

“I feel like death,” she moaned, rubbing her eyes while you shook your head at her.

“You did that to yourself, Han,” you laughed. “That’s what happens when you drink too much.”

Hana pouted, her arms crossing over her chest as she mumbled incoherently at first before retorting a response.

“At least I had fun,” she muttered. “Where the hell did you disappear off to last night?”

Your lips pressed into a thin line at her question, the events from the night before replaying in your head like a broken record.

Johnny’s face is etched into your mind; the charming smile, sharp facial features, his chestnut hair. His flirtatious words still repeating over and over and you can’t stop the butterflies from erupting within the pit of your stomach as a wave of heat cascades over your cheeks. But then Yuta’s words strike an unwanted chord within you and the butterflies cease immediately, a scowl crossing your lips as you shook your head.

“Nowhere,” you lied. “Anyways, I’ve got to get to class. Meet up with you later for lunch?”

After bidding Hana goodbye you made your way towards your first class of the day, English Literature.

Your mind was overflowing with unwanted thoughts and feelings as you aimlessly walked towards the lecture hall, your hand clenching into a fist as you tried to push away the emotions wracking your body. The hall was nearly empty when you arrived, though that might have been because you were fifteen minutes early, and you made a beeline towards the middle of the room, taking a seat that wasn’t so far towards the back nor was it anywhere near the front. Unpacking your bag, you place the books you needed down onto the desk before you’re taking your phone and headphones out and resting back against the chair.

Music flowed through your ears as you pressed play, your fingers idly tapping against the desk to the beat of the song as you aimlessly scrolled through your Instagram feed. Pictures of last night’s party were plastered all over your screen, different groups of people gathered together for a picture of the memorable night. Your eyebrow quirked in interest when a picture of Hana and a guy you hadn’t met before popped up, the caption ‘Pretty sure I’ve met my soulmate’ making you roll your eyes at your friend’s dramaticism as you double tapped the picture to like it. As you scrolled down further, you stopped short when a picture of a familiar chestnut haired boy showed up on your screen.

He was with a group of friends but you could only point out Yuta drunkenly posing by his side while Johnny held up a peace sign near his face. The others were a blur as you stared on at the picture, your finger hovering over the boy’s face as a deep frown crossed your lips.

“Mind if I sit here?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin as your head snapped up to see that the face in the picture had come to life, Johnny smiling in amusement at your shocked expression, his eyebrows raising as you tried to still your now fast-paced heartbeat.

You had half the mind to tell him you were saving the seat for someone else, a blatant lie that he would most likely be able to notice, but your mouth moved faster than your brain could and you found yourself agreeing.

“Suit yourself.”

You watched as Johnny plopped down happily next to you, the bright smile on his face never diminishing as he reached down to grab his books and pen before he straightened back up and turned towards you, your eyes immediately shifting their gaze as you avoided his.

“It sucks you had to leave so early,” he commented. “I wish you could’ve enjoyed the party.”

You feigned disappointment with a shrug of your shoulders.

“I know,” you chuckled without humor. “From the pictures I saw, though, it looked like you all had a lot of fun.”

Johnny’s smile slides into a wide grin as he nodded.

“It was fun,” he affirmed. “But it would’ve been much better if you had been there with me.”

Your lips press together in a thin line and you have to bite your tongue from throwing out a harsh remark when the professor waltzed in. You mentally thanked the angels above for saving you from saying something you shouldn’t as you turn to face the front, your fingers turning to the assigned page of your textbook.

You could feel Johnny’s gaze on you as the professor started his lecture, your mind racing with thoughts upon thoughts as you strained to keep your attention forwards. Your heartbeat pounded loudly in your ears as you shifted your gaze towards your book, your distracted mind not being able to retain any of the text that was written on the page, the words forming one big blur as you squeezed your eyes shut. Rubbing your temples, you try to fight off the oncoming headache when you feel something graze against your arm causing your gaze to fall on a crumpled up piece of paper. You couldn’t help but chuckle lightly, the gesture almost childish as you unfolded the paper.

‘You alright?’

The neatly scrawled words make you sneak a glance towards Johnny who just so happened to be looking at you with concern, his gaze nearly sending a shiver down your spine, and you inhale sharply through your nose before you’re writing back to him.

‘I’m fine,’ you wrote. ‘Just tired.’

Quietly crumpling the paper back up, you stealthily hand it back to him right before your professor turned around.

‘You sure?’

You can feel your headache start to increase and it takes all of your restraint not to groan out in pain as you write back a response.

‘Yes, Johnny, I’m fine.’ You paused momentarily before scribbling something else and handing it back to him. ‘Why do you care, anyways?’

You don’t even look to see what his reaction was to your words as you lay your head in your hands, your fingers massaging your temples as you try to soothe your pounding head.

‘I just wanted to make sure you were alright, (Y/N). Especially after last night -- you kind of dashed out of there pretty fast and I wanted… I wasn’t sure if I had done something to offend you.’

‘No, you didn’t do anything. I’m sorry, I just have a pounding headache and I’m irritable right now.’

‘Don’t apologize for being in pain. Do you need Tylenol? I have some in my bag. I’ve got water too.’

Lifting your head to look at him, you nodded slowly so you didn’t irritate your headache further, and you watched as he quietly leaned down to reach into his bag to grab the bottle before he handed you two pills and a water bottle. Mouthing a ‘Thank you’ towards him, you hurriedly shove the pills in your mouth before downing the water. As you swallowed the medicine, a hand placed itself on the back of your head, long slender fingers gently massaging your scalp and your eyes widened as you looked towards Johnny.

“What are you doing?” You asked him quietly, making him smile sheepishly.

“My mom used to do this for me whenever I got a headache. I don’t know how, but it helps most of the time.”

His fingers gently dug along your tresses, the pressure of his hands somehow causing the headache to diminish slightly, and you don’t even notice that you’re leaning into his touch as you rest your arm on your desk.

The rest of the lecture breezes by -- which you were grateful for.

The professor dismissed everyone with a reminder to make sure everyone has everything they need for the class so they can start the homework before people started making their way out of the room. Gathering your books, you placed them into your bag before you stood up, only you felt yourself collide with a broad chest the moment you had turned to walk out. Johnny’s arms reach out to steady your stumbling form, warm hands wrapping around your waist as you looked at you in concern.

“You alright?” He asked, eyes full of worry. You choked back the lump that had formed out of nervousness in your throat and nodded.

“I’m good, thanks.” Tightening the strap of your bag on your shoulder, you send him a small smile before you try to move past him -- only he still had his arms wrapped around your waist. “Uh --”

“Oh, sorry!” Retreating his arms from around you, Johnny sends you a sheepish smile as he rubs the back of his neck. “See you around?”

You nod, not daring to say anything as you smile back before making your way past him. You don’t get very far, however, because he’s grabbing your wrist and pausing your movements.

“Uh, sorry, I was going to ask you earlier but -- can I have your number?” You quirked an eyebrow at his question. “Y’know -- just in case I miss a class and need the notes or something?”

Your brain was yelling at you to say no, to rip your wrist out of his grip and just walk out. But there’s a warmth in his eyes, his smile friendly, and you’re reminded of the boy you had first met last night. So instead of turning away you’re slipping your phone out of your pocket and handing it over to him so he can input his number. The butterflies from before are back at full force now as your fingers glide against his, electric currents flowing from his palm into yours, and you try to mask the gasp that quietly escaped you from his touch. Your lips are pressed into a tight line as you watch him punch his number in, your eyes trained on the sharp features of his face.

“God, he’s gorgeous...”

Johnny’s head snapped up at that, eyes wide in alarm and it took you only a second to realize that you had voiced your thoughts aloud. Embarrassment floods your body as you come to the realization, your hands instantly grabbing your phone from Johnny’s hands as you quickly say goodbye, your hand covering your face as you incoherently mutter curses to yourself as you walk out of the room, trying to forget what in the fuck just happened.

Hana could tell that you were distracted at lunch, the girl’s glances of curiosity towards you not going unnoticed. You tapped your fingers nervously against the table, eyes shifting towards the door every so often -- almost as if you had been waiting for someone to burst through the door. Your mind was filled with the embarrassing moment that had happened earlier on in the day, heat rushing to your cheeks, and you bury your face in the palm of your hands and inwardly groan. From across the table, Hana lets out a soft chuckle, your friend reaching over to place a hand on yours to gain your attention.

“(Y/N), are you alright?” She asked, amusement laced with concern in her tone. “You’ve been distracted this whole time.”

Peeking at her from in between your fingers, you shake your head.

“I’m so stupid, Han,” you groaned.

Hana’s eyebrow quirked upwards, her head tilting slightly as she gave you a look of confusion.

“Stupid?” She scoffed. “I highly doubt that, (Y/N).”

“I didn’t tell you the whole truth earlier,” you said quietly. “About where I had disappeared to at the party.”

Hana’s eyes widened, her body leaning forward so she could lean on the table.

“You didn’t sleep with anyone did you --”

“No!” You cut her off. “You know I’m not like that.”

Placing a hand over her heart, Hana let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay, good, just checking,” she laughed. “But go on.”

You took a deep breath, trying to collect the racing thoughts within your mind, before you proceeded to tell her everything. From the moment you had walked out to the backyard of the frat house up until you had left, you filled your friend in on all of the details; from the comfort and butterflies that Johnny had given you to the mass of disappointment of Yuta’s words he had blurted out to his friend. The retelling of the events had you on edge, your fingers twisting nervously in your lap as Hana slowly came to the realization as to what had gone down.

“Wait -” she had paused your words, a small smile budding across her lips. “Johnny? As in Johnny Seo?” You nodded, making the girl instantly squeal with excitement. “Oh my god, (Y/N)! He’s gorgeous!”

Your face landed on your palm as you groaned quietly, a muffled ‘I know’ falling from you.

“I accidentally blurted that out this morning too,” you said, embarrassed.

“Wait, you saw him --”

“He’s in my literature class --”

“Oh my god, it’s meant to be!”

Another groan fell from your lips as you shook your head at your friend’s words, frustration building up inside of you as you lifted your head from your hands.

“Or he’s just after another piece of ass,” you muttered. “You heard what Yuta said --”

“Yuta is a Grade A asshole, (Y/N),” Hana retorted. “Just because he’s a player doesn’t mean that his friends are too.”

You sighed, your fingers rubbing at your temples with irritation.

“I just… I don’t know what to trust, Han. I mean -- I’ll admit, we did have a connection --”

“Then what’s the problem?” She asked, making you shift in your seat.

“I’m afraid that I’ll let my guard down and Yuta’s words will come true…”

Hana shot you a look of pity, her face softening as she reached over to grab your hand in understanding.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try, (Y/N). Just give him a chance --”

“Hello, ladies!”

A soft, deep voice rang through the air, a mass of silver locks coming into your vision as the boy enveloped Hana in a hug from behind, the girl instantly beaming widely as she squealed in delight. You would’ve asked who the mysterious guy was when your gaze landed on his friend behind the pair. Your breath caught in your throat as you glance towards the tall boy, your heart speeding up in your chest as you clutched at the table, trying to steady your rapid breathing. He offered you a gentle smile -- that damned smile that seemed to make the palpitations even worse, and it doesn’t help when the boy takes a seat next to you.

“Long time no see,” he greeted. You swallowed thickly, plastering a smile on your face as you nodded towards him.

“Hi, Johnny,” your voice wavered on his name, fingers twisting shyly in your lap as you turned back towards Hana who was completely wrapped up in the boy sat next to her.

Johnny’s body inched closer towards yours, his arm wrapping around the back of the booth and encasing you in as a small smirk danced across his lips.

“I was going to text you earlier to see if you had wanted to join me and my friend for lunch but it seems that I didn’t have to.”

His gaze was intense and you felt your heart speed up at the sight of his face drawing closer towards yours, his lips dangerously close towards your ear. You knew it was just because of the volume of others within the cafe, you knew it was just because he wanted to talk to you. But between the close proximity of him beside you and the soft tickle of his warm breath cascading down the side of your neck, you felt as if the subtle movements were intentional. That the arm around your shoulders and the way his shoulder brushed against yours was something the boy had been planning the moment he sat down.

You swallowed the thick lump of nervousness that had formed in the back of your throat before you shifted slightly away from him, daring to break the contact between the two of you as you leaned against the window.

“Your friend probably had already texted Hana,” you replied coolly, reaching for your cup before taking a sip. “The two of them seem to be pretty cozy.”

Johnny grinned at that, the boy’s eyes landing on the pair across from you completely wrapped up in their own little world.

“Yeah, they do, don’t they?” He nodded. “There’s always been something special between the two of them but none of them have ever been brave enough to admit it -- until now, I suppose.”

You can’t help but smile at that, a small glint of happiness for your friend showing in your gaze. You watched the two of them as they talked, Hana’s gaze never parting from the other boy’s and it seemed as if he couldn’t break his own away from her. They were pressed up comfortably against one another and you watched as the boy gently took her hand in his, their fingers lacing together with ease, making you fight back a small coo at the innocent gesture.

You had been so wrapped up within watching the romance unfold in front of you that you hadn’t even noticed Johnny had moved closer until he’s leaning in towards you, his lips softly pressing against the shell of your ear.

“So you think I’m gorgeous, huh?”

Your head whipped around to him in lightning speed, your eyes widening as your lips pressed in a thin line.

“I didn’t mean --”

“It’s okay,” he smiled, sending you a small smile. “If I’m being honest, I think you’re gorgeous, too.”

Curse those damned butterflies…

You bite the inside of your cheek at his words, your heart beating rapidly in your chest, and you can already feel the doubt begin to swirl within your mind. Yuta’s words replay over and over again, the continuous loop seeming to grab ahold of you and you couldn’t stop the mindless words from flowing from your mouth.

“I bet you say that to all of the girls.”

Johnny drew back from you at that, his face fallen into something that looked akin to hurt, and you instantly regretted not trying to stop the word vomit that had come out. His arm rests besides him now and he folds his hands in his lap as he shook his head.

“What makes you say that?” He asked, and you can’t help but notice the soft tone of hurt within his voice.

“I -- Yuta said --”

“Yuta,” he nodded, his friend’s name dropping out of his mouth like venom. “I knew that was why you had left the party so quickly.”

You looked down at the table, mentally cursing yourself for even opening your mouth in the first place. For the first time since you met him, an uncomfortable silence drifted between the two of you -- and you hated it.

And it appeared that Hana had finally noticed the tension.

“Oh! (Y/N), this is Taeyong,” Hana said happily, breaking your gaze from the table top over towards her, the other boy’s name falling from her lips with a dreamy sigh. “He’s the president of NKT.”

Your eyebrow quirked upwards at that, surprise mulling over you as your gaze fell on the other boy’s face. Right off the bat you noted that he was most certainly one of the most strikingly handsome guy’s you had ever laid eyes on; sharp pointed features that would have been intimidating had it not been for the warm glow of his eyes, the seemingly intimidating boy instantly coming off as soft hearted. You offered him a smile, nodding your head towards him in acknowledgement.

“Nice to meet you,” you greeted, making the boy smile wide.

“Nice to meet you too,” he grinned. “I’ve heard a lot about you so it’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

You casted a glance towards Hana who smiled sheepishly, her shoulders shrugging as she leaned against Taeyong’s arm.

“What?” She laughed. “Can’t a girl gush about her best friend?”

Shaking your head at her, you grabbed the strap of your bag and slung it over your shoulder.

“As much fun as this is, I should probably get going --”

“What?” Hana cut you off, looking at you with wide eyes. “But they just got here --”

“I wish I could stay, Han, but I have to get back to the dorms. I’ve got a lot of homework that I need to start on --”

“It’s the first day of the first semester --”

“Precisely,” you retorted. “Which is why I should get a head start on everything.”

You could feel three pairs of eyes on you as you maneuvered around Johnny whilst trying to get out of the booth, wanting nothing more than to duck out of there. You kept quiet as you waved goodbye towards the trio before heading out.

Taeyong looked on with a confused expression while Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his seat, Hana watching your figure disappear before her gaze fell on the chestnut haired boy, a perfectly manicured finger gesturing towards the literature major with a pointed gaze.

“We need to talk, Seo.”

If it was up to you, you would’ve stayed in bed instead of coming to class. You would’ve nestled within the confinements of your warm blankets and just binge watched shows on Netflix without a care in the world. After the run in with Johnny you were drained, immediately passing out the moment you had gotten back to your dorm. The conflicting feelings within you had began to take a toll, the inner turmoil creating a war between your heart and your mind. You were at a crossroads -- not knowing which way was right or wrong.

Your feet dragged along the concrete as you made your way towards the university, a cup of coffee resting in your hands as you adjusted your backpack that was slung over your shoulder. Lifting the cup to your lips, you carefully take a sip as you walk inside the building, dreading the long lecture that was to come -- only that wasn’t even the beginning of what you were about to face.

If someone had told you that you would walk into English Literature and would be met with a dozen white lilies settled on your seat, you most likely would have laughed right in their face. But alas, there they were -- splayed perfectly in the bouquet and waiting for you to pick them up. You looked around the room, scanning for anyone that could be linked to the flowers, before you’re carefully picking the bouquet up off of your chair. Gently picking the white card from the flowers, you bring the lilies up to your nose before smelling them, a soft hum of approval escaping you as a smile danced across your lips. Turning the card over, you felt your heart speed up as you scanned over the words that were printed in an elegant script.

‘The lily I condemned for thy hand.’

J.S.

The line had been taken from one of Shakespeare’s sonnets, one that you had most certainly re-read a few times over. You clutched the bouquet tightly in your hands as you continuously read the note again, your heart pounding loudly in your ears as you mindlessly sunk down into your seat.

J.S.

You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know who those initials belonged to -- who the giver of the flowers had been from. With a shaky hand you placed the card down onto your desk, your fingers daintily running over the lilies as you admired the flowers. The simple gesture, though it hadn’t been anything spectacular or extravagant, had still managed to set your heart racing. The fact that he had even gone out of his way to do this -- that he took the time out to personally write a card and send you flowers…

“Are they too much?”

Your head snapped in the direction of the deep voice, your gaze settling on a sheepish looking Johnny, the boy rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment as he smiled lightly. You shook your head, still trying to find the right words to say.

“N-- no,” you stuttered out. “I love them, thank you.”

Johnny let out a sigh of relief at that, the boy sliding into the seat next to you as he grinned widely.

“Oh thank god,” he breathed out. “I hope you don’t mind but… I asked Hana what your favorite flowers were and she said lilies so if that’s completely wrong then --”

“They’re my favorite,” you laughed quietly. “And the ones you got me are beautiful, so, thank you -- again.”

“I remembered that you had said Shakespeare was your favorite writer as well,” he said, leaning back against the chair. “And although I’m not the best at deciphering all of the phrases he uses, I figured that I’d might as well go with something that went along with the flowers.”

You felt a wave of heat coat your cheeks as your gaze dropped down to look at the lilies once more, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you fight back a smile. It was sweet -- too fucking sweet -- and you didn’t have the heart to tell him what the sonnet really meant. The fact that he had done this was enough for you -- even though you hadn’t the slightest clue as to why he had decided to do this in the first place.

Silently you lifted your head, your gaze meeting his, and you offer him a small smile as you maneuver your body so that you’re facing him.

“Can I ask…” You began, swallowing thickly. “What made you do this?”

Johnny inhaled sharply through his nose, his shoulders growing tense as he folded his hands on the desk.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day - or rather, what Yuta had said --” The mention of the other boy’s name made you stiffen, those damned words filling your head again. “Although you may or may not believe me, I want you to know that I’m nothing like him. Yuta can say whatever he wants to me, that doesn’t mean I’m going to go right ahead and follow his every command. I’m my own person, I can make my own judgements.”

Looking down at the floor, you nodded slowly.

“I understand,” you said, meekly. “I’m sorry --”

“No, no, no, don’t apologize!” Johnny stopped you, his eyes wide. “God, I don’t want you to think I’m reprimanding you or anything. I just wanted to let you know that the talk we had the other night was real. What I said - every word - was genuine, and if I have to prove that to you, I will.”

“You don’t have to prove anything --”

“I do,” he affirmed. “Because I know that if the roles were reversed and I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t exactly trust me either.”

Johnny paused for a moment before he leaned in closer towards you, his arm gently brushing yours in a way that emitted goosebumps to appear on your skin, your body fighting back a shiver as he pressed his mouth near your ear.

“But just know that I like you,” he whispered. “And I’ll wait however long you want me to for you. You can take your time, beautiful.”

And with that he leaned back in his seat, his body shifting towards the front of the class just as the professor walked in, leaving you with not only a racing mind but a racing heart as well.

“OH MY GOD!”

Your hands covered your ears in protection from the loud shriek as you winced, glancing around the cafe as curious onlookers gazed in question at the girl across from you. Embarrassment flooded your body and you had half the mind to sink down underneath the table to hide from the prying stares. Taeyong was sat next to the squealing girl with an amused smirk, the boy shaking his head at his girlfriend’s antics whilst Hana was next to him almost beaming with delight, a wide grin on her lips as she clapped excitedly.

“(Y/N) do you know what this means?!”

Uncovering your ears, you send her a glare.

“That I’m most likely going to have hearing damage from you one day?”

“That Johnny likes you!” She squealed. “He likes you!”

Running your palm over your face, you groaned quietly.

“I don’t understand the big deal about it, Han,” you retorted. “We’re twenty one years old, I’m sure we’ve all had crushes on people before --”

“But this is different!” She cut you off. “Johnny has never been like this towards a girl before. He’s not the type to just throw himself out there and flirt with girls. He may not look like it but Johnny is so incredibly shy that the fact that he even approached you is amazing. He’s usually sitting in the corner with his nose buried in a book, he’s really not like the rest of them -- excluding Taeyong, of course. And maybe Mark.”

You stared at her as she spoke, the description of the boy that you had misjudged making you instantly feel regretful for jumping to conclusions so quickly. Taeyong shifts beside her, the boy - who had been silent this whole time - finally speaking up.

“She’s right,” he affirmed. “I’ve known Johnny for almost six years now and I can confirm that he has never been this open to someone new, let alone a girl, this quickly before. Honestly, it’s a bit surprising, but I’m happy for him -- unless you don’t feel the same way --”

“I never said that,” you butt in, making Taeyong smirk. “I never confirmed or denied my feelings. I was just afraid of letting him in and then getting my heart broken because he only wanted one thing… I was wrong, though. So, very wrong.”

Your words dissipated into a whisper as you looked down guiltily at the table, a heavy sigh falling from your lips.

“I feel bad…”

Hana reached across the table at that, her hand gently holding yours as she gave you a look of understanding.

“Nobody is blaming you, (Y/N),” she said. “In fact, we all collectively agreed that if it had been one of us in your place we would’ve reacted the same way --”

“Johnny said that too.”

Taeyong’s eyebrows shot up at that, your words piquing his interest as he leaned forward.

“He did?” He asked, making you nod. “When?”

“Earlier in class,” you bit your lip. “He said he doesn’t mind waiting for me to sort out my feelings because he would’ve been in the same boat as me if it was reversed.”

Taeyong and Hana glanced at each other, knowing looks on both of their faces before they turned back to you.

“NKT is throwing a party on Saturday --”

“Again?”

“Just listen, (Y/N),” Hana glared at you, making you huff and lean back against the chair, your hand gesturing for Taeyong to continue.

“That gives you four days to think things over. If you’re ready to give Johnny a chance, you can find him at the party and tell him how you feel. If not, please… Just - let him down easy. I can’t bear it when one of my friends are hurt.”

Silence falls over the three of you as you mull over Taeyong’s words, different feelings and emotions coursing through your body as you think about your options. Grasping onto Hana’s hand, you slowly nod your head, your gaze lifting to look at the silver haired boy on the opposite side of the table.

“Okay.”

“You’ll think it over?”

“I’ll let you know.”

With his legs propped up on the pool chair, Johnny flipped a page of the book he was reading, his eyes skimming over the words as he read. He was more than content at the moment; a good book in his hands whilst lounging outside next to the pool was always something he did when the stress of college was getting to him. It was only a month and a half into the first semester and he was already swimming up to his neck in papers. One week called for a term paper the next he had to write an essay, and then in two months time he’d have to worry about midterms -- but the small breaks from the stress he endured was kept him at bay.

Well, that and his boys.

Despite being different from his fraternity brothers, Johnny had a special place in his heart for them. The uniquely grouped guys all brought something different to the house; there was a perfect balance of wild and crazy and reserved and quiet within the group. Some had more extreme ways of staying entertained while others - including Johnny - opted to find a peaceful escape. The stark differences in personalities only seemed to make them grow closer each year they lived together; it was almost like a harmony blending together, something which Johnny cherished greatly.

Turning another page of the novel, he had just started reading when the back door of the frat house slid open.

“Oh, Johnny~”

The sing-song voice of Taeyong filled the boy’s ears making Johnny’s gaze lift to watch his friend walk towards him. Plopping down onto the chair next to him, Taeyong made himself comfortable as he slid his sunglasses over his eyes.

“Guess what,” the silver haired boy was grinning from ear to ear as he looked at his friend. Johnny shrugged, not knowing where the conversation was going.

“What?”

Taeyong scoffed.

“You’re supposed to guess, Johnny.”

“Taeyong --”

“Fine, I’ll tell you,” Taeyong’s grin never faltered. “I talked to (Y/N).”

Johnny sat up at that, his eyes wide in alarm as his mouth fell open.

“You did what --”

“Relax,” Taeyong chuckled. “I was with her and Hana and she was talking about you -- well, it was more so Hana telling her that everything she thought about you was completely wrong and that she should never listen to Yuta.”

Johnny groaned, his hand running over his face in embarrassment as he placed his book down onto the chair his feet had been resting on.

“She hates me, doesn’t she?”

“If by hate you mean she’s totally smitten with you then yes, she hates you.”

“Tae --”

“No, listen,” Taeyong cut him off once more. “I gave her a choice; I told her about the party on Saturday. I told her that she has until then to sort out her feelings. If she is willing to set aside everything Yuta said then she’ll be here, if not, oh well. There’s plenty more fish in the sea for you, bro.”

Johnny rolled his eyes.

“Except I don’t want the other fish,” he muttered. “She’s just -- she’s different from the rest, Tae. I only met her a month ago and I already feel like I’ve known her for years. I don’t know how this happened or why but it did -- and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified of it… But I want to get to know her more.”

Taeyong couldn’t help but feel for his friend, the silver haired boy leaning over to give Johnny an encouraging pat on the shoulders as he gave him a reassuring smile.

“Keep the faith, Johnny,” he said. “I have a good feeling about this, and if Hana has anything to do with it, she’ll talk some sense into her.”

“I don’t want her to feel like she’s being forced to admit feelings --”

“Nobody is forcing her,” Taeyong shook his head. “If -- or rather, when -- she shows up on Saturday, it will be on her own free will. I promise.”

Johnny frowned, leaning back onto the chair as his head tilted up towards the sky, gaze focused on the fluffy white clouds passing by as he muttered to himself.

“Let’s hope you’re right, Tae.”

Feelings were something that you normally ran away from. The vulnerability that they brought along with them terrified the shit out of you, the thought of putting your heart on the line for someone only to have them shoot you down wasn’t something that you necessarily wanted to go for.

The fear had stemmed from the constant rejection you had faced in high school, those stupid immature boys only caring for their image of being the so called ‘resident bad boy’ that the rest of the student body had labeled them as. In high school, the relationships weren’t based on actual feelings, it was more of an exploration of some sort. People would test the waters, decide whether one person was what they wanted or not before they moved onto the next. It had been a vicious cycle that you certainly did not want a repeat of.

But then again, college is different. When the high schoolers grow up and finally find what they want in life, they’re achieving that long term goal. Sure, there’s flings and hookups here and there but the majority are ready to settle down and reach that steady relationship. And while you craved that, the fear of rejection still resides within your mind -- which is why it was so hard for you to accept the feelings you had for Johnny.

You hadn’t expected to meet him that night. Hell, you hadn’t expected to really meet anyone that night, you had just gone because Hana had practically begged you to go with her. But the moment Johnny Seo sat down next to you and the two of you had began talking, you were already so deep within your feelings. When you meet someone and there’s that instant click - whether it was having something in common or simply just attraction - that feeling was special. It was rare, it was terrifying, but it was meaningful.

Johnny was intellectual, respectful, and thoughtful. Even with just the passing conversations between the two of you in class you were able to decipher that he wasn’t what you thought he was. The misguided impression you had on him slowly faded out each time the two of you were together. The blind fear was the only thing that had been holding you back from letting your feelings out, and now that both Hana and Taeyong had confirmed that Johnny was nothing like you had thought he was -- you’d accepted them.

You spent the days Taeyong had given you wisely; writing out pros and cons, talking to Hana, and giving yourself little pep talks to try to boost your confidence. By the second day you were sure of what it was that you wanted, and by the time Saturday finally came around, you were going to make sure that the decision you made was clear.

Even if it still terrified you.

To say that you were nervous would be the understatement of the century.

Your hands fiddled with the hem of your skirt for what felt like the thousandth time as you struggled to keep up with Hana’s pace. She had gotten you all dolled up, insisting that she be the one to get you ready for tonight. Butterflies fluttered wildly in the pit of your stomach as the two of walked down the path towards the NKT house, your heart beating loudly in your ears to the bass of the music that boomed from the inside. You could already feel your hands start to clam up as the two of you reached the house, your stomach churning uneasily, and you grabbed Hana’s arm before she could reach the doorknob.

Turning around so she could face you, the girl sent you a worried look.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

“No!” You shook your head. “I’m just -- nervous.”

Hana tilted her head to the side in confusion.

“Nervous?” You sighed and ran your hand through your hair.

“I just,” you swallowed thickly, trying to calm yourself down. “What if I waited too long?”

Hana let out a laugh at that, the girl placing her hands on your forearms as she shook you gently.

“(Y/N),” she grinned. “The boy, himself, told you he would wait for you. Johnny has the patience of a turtle in a race.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, the nervousness lifting slightly as Hana brought you towards her for a hug of encouragement.

“You’ve got this, girl,” she said, patting your arms gently. “I’m here if you need me, alright?”

And with that, she turned back towards the door before the two of you entered the house.

It was almost like deja vu the moment you had stepped inside of the fraternity, replays of the first party you had attended illuminating the thoughts of your brain as you made your way through the crowded room. Sweaty bodies were pressed flushed against one another and you had to maneuver your way around them as you grabbed Hana’s hand, letting her drag you into another section of the house.

Thick clouds of smoke hit you as you reached the back room, Hana letting go of your hand the moment she had caught sight of Taeyong. You watched as your friend enveloped her arms around her boyfriend, the two of them exchanging a sweet kiss as you fought back a smile at the sight. Tucking a piece of hair behind your ear you make a move to step into the room when you collide into someone, your gaze focusing on - what you deemed as - the human version of Satan himself.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he grinned widely, one that could rival the Cheshire Cat. “I believe I have something to say to you.”

You raised an eyebrow at the boy, your arms crossing over your chest as you took a step back from him, distancing yourself slightly.

“I wanted to apologize for being an ass that night I found you and Johnny outside,” Yuta said, scratching the back of his neck. “I always tease Johnny about girls because he never - and I repeat - never has brought anyone home. What I said… I was just fucking with him. And I wanted to apologize to you in case anything I did or said offended you in any way --”

“It’s alright, Yuta,” you interjected. “I appreciate your apology.”

Yuta’s grin seemed to grow as he playfully reached out to ruffle your hair, a groan emitting from your lips as you fought to fix the mess he had just made. Once you were content, Yuta held out a piece of paper to you.

“This is for you, by the way.”

Winking at you, he sends you one last grin before he walked out of the room, the boy calling after someone as he ran down the hallway. Glancing down at the paper in your hands, you squinted as you tried to read the writing in the dull light.

“What tastes better than it smells?” You read to yourself, confusion evident in your expression. “What the actual fuck, Yuta?”

“(Y/N)!”

Your head lifted to see Taeyong gesturing you towards him, your eyebrows still scrunched in thought as you made your way over to him and Hana. The silver haired boy threw his arms around your shoulder before he brought you in for a half-hearted hug, a bright smile on his lips as he looked down at you.

“I’m glad you decided to come,” he greeted. “You made the right choice.”

You smiled at that, hugging the boy back.

“I have you two to thank for that.”

Hana smirked at your words, her hand grabbing yours as she pulled you away from Taeyong.

“Oh, don’t thank us yet, honey,” she laughed. “We still have one more thing to do for you.”

“What -- hey!” You watched as Hana had opened up a closet door before letting go of your hand and pushing you in without a second thought. Immediately you were enveloped in darkness, your eyes straining to see in the pitch black room before you’re banging on the now locked door. “This isn’t fucking funny, Hana!”

“(Y/N)?”

You froze at the sound of your name, the deep velvety voice giving you a sense of familiarity, and you can feel your breath hitch in your throat as you turned around. Light filled the closet as Johnny pulled the switch, your heart speeding up when you noticed the close proximity of his body and yours. He towered over you as he stood, his lips pressed together in what seemed like nervousness, his eyes glinting with something you couldn’t quite place.

“Johnny,” you breathed out. “I -- what is going on?”

Johnny didn’t say anything as the two of you stood there, the silence almost deafening, and you have half the mind to start banging on the door again when he finally decided to speak up.

“I didn’t think you were going to come,” he admitted, his voice soft. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip as you broke your gaze from his, your body heating up as he took a step closer towards you. “I had hoped you would, though.”

“I -- I --”

The words were stuck in your throat as you took a step backwards, your back hitting the wall due to the small area of the closet. Desire rushed through you as you lifted your gaze back up to meet Johnny’s, the boy daring to take another step closer towards you as he lifted his hand. The smooth skin of his palm rested gently against the apple of your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your jaw as he smiled.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he murmured. “Taeyong told me everything.”

Swallowing thickly, your eyes widened as his chest pressed against yours.

“H- he did?” You stuttered out, making Johnny nod.

“He did,” he affirmed.

His nose gently grazed against your other cheek, lips daring to press a kiss to the skin there as you tilted your head up to give him more of what he wanted. A soft hum flows from Johnny as he gently pecked your jaw, a whine wanting to escape from your lips as you gripped his forearms.

“Wh- what did he say?” You managed to get out, making Johnny hum once more.

“Well,” he grinned against your skin. “He said that you were smitten with me.”

Drawing back from you, you almost let out a noise of protest as you pouted and god -- Johnny had to hold back from kissing you right then and there.

“I’m not smitten,” you muttered. Johnny chuckled, his chest rumbling against yours as he leaned in closer towards your face.

“You’re not?” He mused, quirking an eyebrow. “So you don’t like me?”

You could feel his breath fanned across your cheeks, the hand that had been on your face now wrapped securely around your waist as he pressed you back into the wall. You were finding it more and more difficult to breathe, the need overpowering any other sense and feeling in your body as Johnny’s other hand placed itself on your hip. The air between the two of you was thick, suffocating almost, and you were only able to breathe out a reply as his lips ghosted over your neck.

“I- I never said I didn’t like you.”

Smirking against your neck, Johnny teasingly licked a stripe along the base.

“You never said you did either.”

Your eyes closed as he gently grazed his teeth along your neck, your body shivering with pleasure as your nails dug into his bare forearms, the muscles contracting beneath your touch.

“What tastes better than it smells?”

Your eyes shot open at that, your hands pushing him away slightly as you stared at him in shock.

“Where did you hear that from?”

Johnny’s smirk widened as he peered down at you, his eyes hooded.

“It’s my riddle,” he stepped closer to you. “We were getting ready to play ‘Seven Minutes in Heaven’ and people had to pick riddles. I kept mine out, though. I was saving it for someone.”

A wave of heat rushed to your cheeks as you bashfully broke the eye contact, your fingers gliding along his arms as you try to steady yourself.

“Oh,” you uttered quietly.

Placing a finger underneath your chin, Johnny lifted your head so that your gaze met his once more.

“It’s tongue,” he grinned. “The answer is tongue.”

You blinked; once, twice, a third time -- and then there’s a knock.

Johnny stepped away from you just before the door opened, Hana’s disappointed face coming into view as she glanced at the two of you.

“They’re not even kissing!” She whined, frowning. “The whole point of this game is to get you two together!”

You were frozen in place, the unpleased shouts of the others becoming static noise as the desire flowed through your body. You can’t keep your eyes off of Johnny, your gaze no doubt hunger filled, and you clutch onto his arm as the two of you walk out of the closet. Turning to look at you in surprise, you don’t give him time to think before you’re leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“Do you want to test out your riddle and see if tongues do taste better than how they smell?”

Johnny’s eyes glinted in the dull lighting, his large, warm hand enveloping yours entirely as he dragged you towards the staircase. Everything around you seemed to disappear as Johnny pulled you down the hallway, your arms looping around his neck as you stood on your toes, wasting absolutely no time at all in pressing your lips against his.

He’s got a strong grip around your waist, his arms pulling you in closer to him as he pressed you against the door to his room. You were fully aware that the two of you were in the hallway, completely visible to anyone who dared to climb the stairs -- but you didn’t care.

Johnny’s lips were soft but firm against yours, the kiss not as rough as you expected it to be. To the outsider's perspective it may have seemed that way but the swift movements of his lips were pillow soft, slow languid kisses being exchanged between the two of you and you swore that you were floating on cloud nine -- until you felt his tongue glide along your lower lip. The moment his tongue met yours, the kiss changed.

The slow kisses were gradually speeding up, impatience flowing from both you and Johnny, and you can’t hold back a soft moan when you felt his hands shift from your waist down to gently cup your ass. The moment the moan left your lips, Johnny was gripping your thighs and effortlessly lifting you up, all-the-while reaching out a hand so he can open his bedroom door. He’s holding onto you with one arm as he kicks the door shut behind him, blindly locking it before he’s stumbling over towards his bed.

Your back is pressed against the cushiony surface of the mattress while your legs wrap around Johnny’s waist, your hands fisting in the soft locks of his hair as your lips moved against his. The dull pounding of the music blasting from downstairs is muted, the sound of your heart pounding cancelling it out as it pumped in your ears and you’re quite certain that Johnny could feel it beating wildly in your chest. Shivers wrack down your spine as his hands slid along the length of your thighs, his fingertips resting just below the hem of your skirt as he groaned against your mouth.

“This isn’t how I wanted things to pan out,” he panted, breaking away from your mouth so he could breathe. “I wanted to take you out first.”

You slid one of your hands down his clothed back before you tugged on the hem of his shirt, gesturing for him to pull it off.

“You can still take me out,” you reassured him, using your other hand to grab a fistful of his hair as a dirty smirk danced across your lips. “Or you can eat me out instead. It’s up to you.”

Johnny’s head lifted, his eyes widening as they fell on yours, his gaze heated.

“Don’t tempt me, baby girl,” he gritted out, digging his blunt nails into the skin of your thighs as he rolled his hips into yours.

The action made you mewl in response, your nails digging into his scalp as you arched into his touch, and you can feel your breath hitch as he sucked a mark into the skin of your neck.

“I’m not tempting you,” you managed to breathe out. “I’m merely giving you options.”

Johnny smirked against your skin, his tongue licking a stripe down your neck as his hands slid underneath your skirt, his long slender fingers gripping the flesh of your ass roughly as he bit down on your neck. Tugging once more at his shirt, it seemed that Johnny had finally gotten the hint as he sat up and reached behind his neck to grab the top of his shirt. You watched with desire as he lifted his shirt over his head, his toned body finally being revealed to you, and you almost moaned at the sight of the defined muscles that adorned his abdomen.

Tugging harshly on his chestnut locks you pulled him back down to you, your lips crashing roughly against his as you lifted your hips off of the bed and rolled them into him. A soft groan emitted from the boy’s mouth as his hands returned to your ass, his fingers kneading the flesh roughly as he reciprocated the kiss. Tongues swirled together in a mass of passion, your hands sliding over his broad shoulders as you arched into him, your clothed chest pressing against his bare one.

You could already feel his arousal begin to build, his semi-hard jean clad cock grazing against your thigh as he pressed his body to yours. You can feel the pool of heat begin to swarm between your legs, your core already beginning to become slick as his fingertips dance across the hem of your skirt. A soft moan escaped your mouth as Johnny pulled the material down your legs, the motion leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake as he tossed the skirt to the floor. Gently gripping your body, Johnny lifted you up until your head was pressed against the pillows, settling you in a more comfortable position before he broke his lips from yours.

Returning his mouth to your neck, he’s letting his digits glide along the hem of your panties as he let his tongue run along the bruise he had made earlier. Placing your hands on his upper arms, you stop him from sliding your panties down as you pushed him softly, Johnny breaking away from your neck in alarm.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, worry coating his tone. “Did I do something?”

Letting out a breathy laugh, you shook your head. Gripping his toned arms, you muster up all of the strength you could before you’re flipping your positions. Once Johnny was settled against the pillows, you let your hand glide down the length of his upper body as you sent him a flirty smirk.

“You didn’t do anything, Johnny,” you cooed. “I just wanted to make you feel good first.”

Johnny’s cock twitched at your words, his eyes glazing over lustfully as he watched you lay kisses down his chest. He’s letting out a quiet growl when he felt your teeth graze over the trail of hair that lined his lower abdomen, his hands fisting in your hair as you plucked at the button on his jeans.

“You don’t have to --”

“I want to,” you cut him off. “After all that waiting you did for me, baby, you deserve something in return.”

Sliding the fabric down his legs you carelessly discarded them to the floor before turning your attention back to his cock straining against his briefs, your tongue instinctively running over your lips as your fingers glided back up his toned thighs. You’re mouthing at his pelvic bone whilst your hand cupped him through his briefs, a gentle squeeze emitting a loud groan from the boy’s lips as he rolled his hips into the touch of your hand.

“(Y/N).”

The sound of your name had never sounded as good as it did when it fell from Johnny’s mouth, the breathy tone making the arousal in your core begin to build even more than it already had before. You felt the desire for him grow as you hooked your fingers around the hem of his briefs before sliding them down his legs, his cock finally coming into full view. Biting the inside of your lip in anticipation, you gazed over his thick length with hunger.

Gently taking his cock in your hands, you made sure to keep your gaze on him as you ducked down to run your tongue along the underside of his cock, Johnny groaning in response as he tugged at your locks. The vein that trailed along the bottom pulsated with desire as you tongued lazily at it, Johnny’s sounds only adding fuel to the fire as you wrap your lips around the head. Softy suckling on it, you let your tongue lap up the pre cum that was oozing from the tip, the somewhat salty substance making you crave more of him. Sliding your mouth further along his cock, you wrapped your hand around whatever was not enveloped and tugged softly at his length, humming appreciatively against him.

Johnny’s eyes are squeezed shut, the boy trying to keep his hips steady as you lapped at his cock, groan after groan emitting from his lips as you rhythmically bobbed your head. He’s tugging harshly at your tresses, blunt nails digging into your scalp, and the quiet moans that you were letting out reverberated against his length and set his body aflame. He’s writhing in pleasure beneath your ministrations, a choked back moan falling from him when he felt your hand drop to his balls and your mouth wrap around him entirely.

“Oh my g-- fuck!”

You could feel tears brimming your eyes as you fought the urge to choke, your eyes closing as you relaxed your throat -- and then you swallowed around him. The action sent Johnny wild; his hips were freely bucking up as his cock delved into your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat. You had your other hand placed on his lower abdomen, the muscles clenching beneath your touch as the boy neared his release.

“Fuck, I’m gonna --!”

Expletives fell from Johnny as his muscles clenched, his thighs trembling as he came in your mouth, your tongue lapping up every last drop he had. The palm of your hand ran over his abdomen, soothing the clenched muscles as he tugged harshly at your hair. He’s panting, the boy barely able to catch his breath, and you hum softly against his now limp cock before you’re slowly beginning to draw back. The hand you had on his balls dropped to rest on his toned thighs as you swallowed what was left of his release, your tongue rolling over your lips as you smirked dirtily at him.

Johnny was wide eyed, almost in a daze, and he’s got a fucked out smile gracing his lips as he lazily reached out towards you.

“Holy fuck, (Y/N),” he breathed out, cupping your face in his hand.

“I told you I was going to make you feel good,” you said, grinning. Johnny stayed quiet as you slithered back up his body.

Grabbing the back of your neck he pulled you up to him, his lips crashing harshly against yours as his tongue swirled around yours. He whimpered softly into your mouth as you settled yourself on his hips, your hands resting on the plane of his chest as you languidly kissed him back. He’s resting his hands on your thighs now, his long fingers gripping your flesh as he ushered you to move forward.

Breaking apart from your lips, he lets a smirk paint across his as he looked up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Come up further,” he beckoned, making you look at him in confusion.

“Wha-- whoa!”

Johnny pulled you up his body until your core was leveled with his neck, the boy’s gaze never breaking from yours.

“I want to take you up on that suggestion you made earlier,” he licked his lips. “You made me feel good so now it’s my turn.”

Before you could say anything Johnny was already lifting your hips up until you were over his face, his fingers pushing your panties to the side while his tongue instantaneously ran along your slick heat. Your breath caught in your throat as he gripped you roughly, the little kitten licks making your hips buck against his tongue as you reached down to grab a fistful of his hair. He’s got his eyes shut, his head slowly moving up and down as he ran his tongue along your core, the boy humming softly each time a moan fell from your mouth.

You’re trying not to drop the entirety of your weight onto in, in fear that you were going to suffocate the poor boy, and you managed to grip his headboard with one hand to steady yourself from the overwhelming pleasure that he was giving you. Your mind was completely blank save for the thought of the boy that was beneath you, Johnny being the only thing you could even focus on as his tongue flattened against your clit.

His name is falling from you like a broken mantra, the cries of pleasure making Johnny smirk against your clit as he ran a slender digit against your folds, slicking it with your arousal. The moment he’s pushing it past your folds and inside of you you’re pushing down against the friction, your hips rolling into the rhythm of his movements as you throw your head back and moan. Johnny buries his face deeper, his head swiftly moving side to side as he curled the digit inside of you. Your thighs encase around his head as you ground down against his mouth as your muscles clench around him, your slick heat now enveloping his second finger as he pushed another inside of you.

You’re a mess above him, sobs of pleasure escaping you as the kitten licks speed up into full on suckles, his plush lips wrapping around your clit as he scissored the digits inside of you. You’re pulling relentlessly at his tresses while digging your nails into the wood of his headboard, your hips having a mind of their own as they glide against the friction of his ministrations. He’s humming against you once more, the reverberations of his noises sending goosebumps along your skin as he gripped your thigh with his free hand.

You’re so close -- so, so, so close. The white hot pleasure envelops your body in a wave, the sensation building from your lower abdomen before spreading to the entirety of your body. Your thighs clench around his head as he sucks harshly at your clit, the sensitive bud completely encaptured by his tongue, and you can feel your release wash over you in an instant, your body completely wracked with pleasure as you ride out your high against his fingers and tongue. He’s still lapping at your clit with fervor as you cum, the rough grip on his hair releasing slowly as you slumped against the headboard.

Placing your hands on the planes of his chest, you drop down next to him on the bed, completely spent from the pleasure you had experienced. Your breathing is ragged and your eyes are squeezed shut, the only audible sound emitting from Johnny as he let out a soft chuckle. Soft kisses are being peppered along your shoulder, his warm hands encasing around your waist as he massaged your skin softly, his face burying itself in the crook of your neck.

“You’re beautiful, baby,” he murmured, smirking against your skin. “Inside and out.”

The innuendo makes you turn your head to look at him, your mouth opening to retort something back to him when he planted his lips against yours.

You can still taste yourself on his tongue as he kisses you languidly, his mouth only breaking apart from yours when he lifted your shirt above your head. He’s blindly unclasping your bra with one hand before that and your panties are discarded, Johnny’s body slowly hovering over yours as he grasped your hips.

“I have to run to Yuta’s room,” he murmured against your lips. “He has the condoms.”

You chuckled against his mouth, your fingers running through his chestnut locks as you drew back from him.

“I have one in my purse,” you smirked. “Courtesy of Hana herself.”

Johnny chuckled lowly, his voice filled with husk as he grinned.

“God bless, Hana.”

Reaching to the side of the bed, Johnny handed you your purse so you could fish inside of it for the condom Hana had given you before the two of you had left your dorm. Setting your bag aside once you found it, you watched as Johnny tore the package open and ran the rubber along his now hardened cock. His gaze doesn’t break from yours as he grabbed ahold of your wrists and pinned them above your head, his thumbs gently stroking the flesh as he leaned down to press his lips to yours.

The moment you’re kissing him back, Johnny’s cock slides between your folds, your moan mixing with his groan as he sheathed himself inside of you. His length stretches you in a way that has you arching into him, your breasts pressing against his chest as your tongue meets his.

It’s intense; the lust that you had felt in the beginning was now mixed with passion, a feeling of pure, genuine want filling both of you up to the point where it’s more than just a fuck. The emotions are evident in his actions, his mouth slotting against yours in a kiss that took your breath away, his hips slowly beginning to build up a rhythm. The hands that pinned your wrists now slid up until his fingers were laced with yours, his body molding into yours as he pressed against you.

It’s slow - not too slow to the point where it’s not enough - his thrusts are deep, his cock delving further with each thrust of his hips, and you’re locking your legs around his waist as you raise yourself from the bed in order to meet him halfway. The new angle has his cock brushing against a spot that makes you cry out with pleasure, Johnny’s name falling from your lips as you cling onto his hands. He’s got his face buried in the crook of your neck, wet kisses being placed on your collarbone as his rhythm begins to falter slightly.

Letting go of one of your hands, Johnny lets the pad of his thumb press against your clit before he begins to rub it softly, your legs tightening around him as the pleasure doubles. With your free arm you wrap it around his neck, your nails digging in between your shoulder blades as you bite down on his shoulder, Johnny hissing at the action. His thrusts grow harsher, your walls contracting around him as he pounded into you now. Cries of pleasure are escaping you at an alarming rate, your body convulsing beneath him as your second release of the night builds faster and faster with every thrust, the sensation of his thumb against your clit and his cock brushing against a sensitive spot sending you reeling in delight.

The fire in your lower body ignites you the moment your release hits and you’re clinging to him, nails dug deep in his skin as your tongue smooths over the bruise you had left on his shoulder, your thighs clenching around his waist as you slowly roll your hips to help ride out your high. Johnny’s movements are sloppy as he reaches his own release, the hand entwined with yours pressing into the mattress as he holds himself steady, his hips matching your slow rhythm as he comes with a growl against your skin.

You’re breathless as you rest against the bed, your nails slowly retracting from his skin as your legs unwrap themselves from around him, your head tilting upwards as Johnny peppered soft kisses against your flesh, every now and again letting out a ragged breath as the two of you come down from your highs -- but none of you dare to move him off of you. You’re savoring the moment, mentally marking the feeling of having him inside of you, and you don’t know if you can let him go just yet -- but unfortunately he needed to rest as well.

Almost letting out a whine when he slides out of you, you pout as you watch him slide the condom off and toss it into the bin next to his bed.

“Don’t move, beautiful,” Johnny told you, sending you a smile.

Your gaze doesn’t leave his frame as he slid off of the bed and walked over to his closet, the boy grabbing a towel, a shirt, and a pair of his boxers before he’s walking back over to you. Gently taking the towel he wipes along the lower half of your body, cleaning you up thoroughly before he’s tossing it aside. Your heart almost swells twice its size as he slides the boxers over your legs, the boy helping you get dressed before he’s sliding his briefs back on and resting next to you on the bed.

With the covers pulled over your bodies, Johnny brings you closer to him so that your chest is pressed to his, his lips pressing kisses from your forehead down to your nose before he kisses you softly. You’re filled with an immense amount of euphoric happiness as you kiss him back, a soft hum escaping you as he draws back from you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to take you out before we got this far,” he murmured. You wipe a bead of sweat above his cupid’s bow, a smile playing at your lips.

“You don’t have to apologize,” you reassured him. “I wanted this to happen too, you know.”

“Oh, did you now?” He jokingly retorted, poking your nose. “Were you expecting it?”

You shook your head.

“No,” you smirked. “But I kind of hoped it would.”

“Why you little --”

Johnny growled playfully at the use of his words from earlier, his fingers reaching under your shirt so he could tickle your sides. A shriek emitted from your lips as you try to push him away, a loud laugh echoing around the room as you grin widely.

“Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow?” He asked once the two of you calmed down. You nodded before leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I would love to.”

Three pairs of ears are pressed against the door as they listened to the commotion happening on the other side, a muffled shriek emitting from one of the owners before they were instantly shushed.

“Don’t shush me,” Hana glared at Yuta. “I’m allowed to celebrate my best friend’s happiness.”

Yuta rolled his eyes at the girl before he grinned widely.

“Sounds like your friend is more than happy -- OW!”

Taeyong snickered as he watched his girlfriend slap his best friend on the back of the head, his head shaking at their antics. Stepping back from the door, he couldn’t help but feel happy for his best friend, glad that things had worked out between the pair of you.

“C’mon you two,” he said, wrapping an arm around Hana’s shoulders and pulling her close. “Let’s get out of here before we’re found out.”

Yuta snickered as the three of them walked away, the grin never faltering from his face as he beamed proudly.

“At least Johnny finally took my advice -- OW! Why are both of you so violent?!”

“Shut up, Yuta.”

#nct smut #johnny smut #nct johnny smut #johnny seo smut #nct 127 smut #nct scenarios #johnny scenarios

[maplecornia]

Thoughts on the bullying scandals going around in the kpop community at the moment

Things to know before I begin:

Since I'm a small blog this probably won't be seen by much, I just wanted to basically talk about this since it's been bothering me for a while

Bullying is a VERY serious issue, and I suggest that you take it seriously. While these accusations may or may not be real, please understand that real people go through this and shoving it under a rug will not do anything.

Regardless of where you are BULLYING IS BULLYING. Doesn't matter where in the world you may be. Just because you live somewhere else doesn't make the pain or the trauma any less real.

If I have gotten any of my facts wrong or have missed something, please respectfully bring it to my attention. I am human after all and I will make mistakes from time to time.

Okay now that that's out of the way...

I wasn't originally going to blog about this. I mean I didn't see what good it would do and there are so many different people talking about this who are more influential than I so I didn't see the point.

However a lot of the things that people are saying and a lot of the things that are happening to the artists just don't sit right with me. So I decided to say something.

As you all know, this started in Korea after after bullying scandal happened to volleyball twin sisters. They turned out to be true so they were suspended and were prevented from competing in the Olympics.

Following this, they moved on to actors and actresses (the outcomes of which I am unclear on so I wont say much more than this)

And then of course kpop idols.

These started with Soojin, moved to others such as Soyeon, Sunwoo, Kihyun, Minhyuk, Chuu, Aisha, Hyuna, Hyunjin etc (if I have missed any please bring it to my attention).

Now while some of these accusations may have been true accounts (such as the volleyball ones) the ones where it involves idols seem to be more old middle school drama that was never resolved.

Allow me to explain.

Whereas before the idols had moved into the picture, most of the actors and actresses were being accussed of bullying younger classmates as their "sunbae" or senior.

Since Korean culture relies heavily on respect and hierarchy, you can imagine how these alleged victims would feel entirely helpless and unable to do anything. They would be mistreated, called awful names, get things thrown at them. If you need examples look at Korean dramas, I'm sure you'll find many there.

The volleyball twins turned out to have actually done these things and are paying heavily for it. Their actions were no doubt inexcusable.

And these cases of bullying actually do happen in Korea and it's a big issue.

However, there's a fine line between bullying and mere arguments or drifting apart. There's also a difference between being immature and/or a bully.

For example, Soojin was accused of being violent with a past friend, drinking underage, going to group chats to make sure said friend was outcasted, having older boyfriends, smoking and driving motorcycles.

While she has said she has tried cigarettes in the past, most of these allegations are false and somewhat immature. You shouldn't be judged for driving motorcycles or having an older boyfriend. When it comes to underage smoking and drinking, that's just immature thinking.

However, with the incidents with her past friend, those turned out to be a misunderstanding. Soojin said that she did have an argument with her that led to their falling out, but never did she resort to violent acts nor go out of her way to me sure she was outcasted.

You can also see these trends with the other idols being accussed including Mingyu and Hyunjin.

Mingyus accusations have turned out to be mostly false, as Pledis is still undergoing investigations. I must commend them for doing a great job of handling this and am pleasantly surprised. Mingyu however has halted his activities for the time being, and I'm sure it's for his health after dealing with all the allegations directed his way.

For Hyunjin, he is also pausing his activities, but the way JYPE is handling it seems as though they regret him joining Stray Kids. This could be just my opinion, however.

In any case, while his accusations have turned out to be an argument/misunderstanding as well, people are still throwing him hate and requesting he leave the group.

Mind you this is also happening with Soojin, and many model companies or brands are removing their pictures/taking them down so that it doesn't conflict with business.

When it comes to the other idols I know very little so I won't say much.

Soyeon: accusations seem to have smoothed over

Chuu: accusations turned out to be false, accusser apologized for the post

Aisha: accusations also turned out to be false

Hyuna: accusations are false

Kihyun: accusations are false

For some of these idols, the original accusers posts have been taken down, which obviously shows something fishy there and I believe that means the accusation wasn't real in the first place.

Many of these idols have come out with apologies like Hyunjin, Soojin, Kihyun, and Hyuna have. Many of them towards their fans and towards those they may have hurt in the process.

So...here's my take on the whole thing.

While bullying is a serious issue, I couldn't help but find a trend in the idol accusations.

They all happened in middle school

Regardless of the time period, bullying is nkt okay and i understand that. However, middle school is a hard time for all of us. We are going through a lot at that stage and I think many of us lash out in different ways. People grow up from that immaturity, I know I have.

They all come from past friend and/or relationships which have fallen apart

A lot of these originate from people who claim to be in the same class, or be a past friend of the idol. They talk about arguments and things that they disagreed on ghat led to a friendship being cut off. Soojins came from a victims alleged sister. Let me make one thing clear. ARGUMENTS ARE NOT BULLYING. If that were true the whole world would be bullies by now.

That being said...do I think the idols should apologize whether or not these are true?

Yes.

And here's why.

Regardless of how much you have grown or matured if there was a time in your life where you had hurt someone, indirectly or not, I believe you should apologize for that. You don't know how that might have affected them, nor how much they may have suffered. So yes, I believe you should always apologize and hopefully be given a chance to resolve the issue.

Now do I think we should automatically cancel an artist if their apology isn't to our king and/or they dont make one?

No.

For one thing, we are not involved in the issue. We are, in fact, just bystanders. Unless you were bullied by that particular idol or involved, you don't have a right to reject or accept someone's apology. That is up to the victim and the victim alone.

That being said...what is the best way to act as a fan?

Keep quiet and support the idol as best as you can during these tough times. If the rumors turn out to be true, then decide what you want to do. Unstan, don't listen to their music anymore...whatever.

But please do not spread hate.

You do not know these idols nor what they go through. If they decide not to apologize then that's pretty douchey, but you don't know their reasons so please do not act as though you do.

You must understand that they are human too. And they have made mistakes. They will continue to make mistakes.

Does that make it right? No.

But they deserve a chance to become a better person in spite or because of it.

That's all from me! Thanks for reading. ♡

#kpop news #kpopidol #kpop industry #random #my opinion #kpop bullying #hyunjin #mingyu #soojin #kihyun #thoughts on the kpop bullying scandal

[crazyyfilmyfreak]

OBVIOUSLY SPOILER FREE REVIEW

So guys i have finally seen the film not once but thrice 

First time i watched it with my own money but for the second and third times i had to emotionally blackmail my friends so that they could take me to the cinemas as i was broke then and i have insanely enjoyed the film 😭🙏 not only because of how great that is but i have seen a film in theatres almost after 5 or 6 months ( Fuck corona ) and the experience was spectacular 

Now speaking about the film this is not as complex as everyone are talking about it i mean sure the plot is confusing but screenplay is simple , the theme is complex but presentation is straight and nolan perfectly executed everything in a right order and blended the plot , the emotions and visuals in a tremendous way such that even a 10 year old kid who just started into films could understand the film in a basic way . 

But the thing is it is quite impossible and very hard for any person to completely understand this film in the first watch and i am pretty sure even after watching 5 times a person would still miss lot of information and easter eggs in the film that nolan had cleverly comprehended and put them together anyways i will not pretend like i understood the entire practical applied physics that nolan had explained in the film but i can say i understood the minimal science principles that were used in the film just like everyone else 

Now JOHN DAVID WASHINGTON HAS KILLED THE ROLE, HE SLAYED IT

I think he is the first unofficial Black James Bond in my opinion and he absolutely hit the ball out of the park in the film and i really enjoyed watching him on the screen , he has some magical and spectacular screen presence and also fun fact Christopher Nolan said it in interviews that "Tenet" is his version of James Bond film and i think not a single james bond film would come closer to tenet is terms of how great it is .

Elizabeth Debicki is sexy as hell in this film but she got nothing new to offer and its just a damsel in distress once again ( nolan needs to stop doing this to women in his films 😭) i expected a lot from her and she was so good but the character really didnt had something new to offer and i am kinda slightly pissed about it 

And yeah yeah robbert pattinson is hot as hell as a boringly straight guy idk if i should say this or not but Robbert pattinson could do anything he wants to do to me 😌 and he could even kill me if he wants and i would blame no one for that, that's on me .. huh enough of horny talk but he was sooooo fucking good in the film i really cried at the last scene , it was quite emotional for me to take it and as an actor he has matured a lot since good time. 

And i need to talk about one more very important person in the film who nkt only nailed the role and made it with so much ease and beauty 

DIMPLE KAPADIA , idk why but seeing bollywood actors in hollywood really makes me so happy and when i see some one like dimple who is so talented and experienced my happiness gets doubled and tripled and she nailed the role and she played a very important role in the film . 

Also Kenneth Branagh!!! MAN MAN MAN 

HE IS INSANE IN THE FILM and his character was really intimidating and i am going to speak nothing else about him here just watch him on the screen and you will know what i mean 

Now speaking about the film in an overall way this gotta be Nolan's finest art in recent times and it is so much better than Dunkirk and i really love how nolan blends action + emotions in his films and one more thing i need to speak that is THE BACK GROUND MUSIC .... huh not pattinson not WASHINGTON not elizabeth none of these are actual first protagonists of the film the BGM IS the first protagonist of the film it plays a very crucial role in tenet !!! Even a normal scene gets elevated and it becomes extraordinary and something beyond spectacular because of the Bgm and also idk why is it only my theatre or everyone else has this problem when ever the bgm starts sonetimes it was hard to understand what the actors were saying i mean the mixing was kinda trash or maybe its just me or my cinemas where i watched them 

So finally i just want to conclude by saying NOLAN NEVER MISSES IT 😎✌ AND I AM VERY PROUD TO SAY I AM HIS BIG FAN AND TENET IS SPECTACULAR AND IT IS A ..... wait for it ......A ...again wait for it ..... FUCKING MASTERPIECE and please please do watch it on cinemas when ever it gets released in your place and i am pretty sure everyones gonna love it more than inception and interstellar so yeah thats it ... 

Also cinematography is out of this world ( i didn't mention it above bcoz i thought this is something standard in every nolan film )

Gif credits: Cinemagal

#tenet #nolan #christopher nolan #films #film #movies #movie #cinema #filmtumblr #danielsfilms #robbert pattinson #john david washington #elizabeth debicki #Kenneth Branagh #dimple kapadia #hollywood #bollywood

[dredgenshrike-defunct]

Seraph

❦ What do you wish for in a relationship? ❧ What does your perfect partner look like? Not physically, but their characteristics? 🍀 What does the perfect date look like for you? 🌹 Have you ever cheated on your partner? Have you ever been cheated on? What did you do? How did it end? What would you do if your partner cheated on you? ꕤ If you really love someone - would you ever lie to them about something? About what? Why? 💝 How many serious relationships have you been in so far? ✿ Have you ever done something in a relationship that you’re not proud of? What? Why? How did it end? 💔 Has anyone ever really broken your heart? Did you ever get over it? 💟 How do you break up with someone? And when?

Seraph shifted sith the uncomfortability at such personal questions, but still went through with answerinfg. "In a relationship...I'd want someone who I just click with. Someone I can banter back and forth with... hopefully with matching intelligence. Warlocks are mostly the ones I find attraction in but there are exceptions with some Titans and Hunters..." He trailed off for a moment. "Just something domestic where I can be myself, I guess."

He had to think for a while on the second question. "My perfect partner....Smart, Loving... Someone in touch with their own emotions. Nkt scared of me nor the library, nor my pets... I'd say someone who gets along with Samael, but I don't think Samael will ever accept anyone around, so thats off the table." He laughed half-nervously.

"The perfect date... Honestly, there's not much I can think of. As nice as fancy dinner dates are, I'm as, if not more, content just enjoying someones presence at home. Maybe cooking dinner together, then watching movies... or exploring ancient places or areas where Guardians don't usually go. There's always discoveries there."

The fourth question seemed to almost offend Seraph. "I'd never cheat, thank you very much. Nor have I ever been cheated on...If I was cheated on? Well, I wouldn't go berserk I'd just...end it right there. No need to make it blow up in everyones face when I can just forget about it and find someone better."

"Some things are better lied about then told the truth, and as a Praxic, especially one so close to the experiments...I am required to keep some things secret. It is better for those who are unaware to stay unaware of what goes on behind our walls... on a less dark note, I love surprising people with gifts and other things, which sometimes need a fee lies to work."

Seraph paused, before nodding. "One. There was a man back- way early city age, when I was just trying to assimilate into the city. It was hard on a Warlord, and I guess he just thought he could...fix me in a way? Make it not hard I guess. We broke up after like a year and a half."

He looked off to the side. "There are...many things I have done I would have rather not. Let's no talk about that one."

"The only one who broke my heart was..." He trailed off, shaking his head. Another one he wouldn't talk about.

"If I broke up with someone it'd have to be in person. I'd try and rip the bandaid off but also sandwhich it....two compliments with the break uo in between and said fast enough that it won't hurt them too much."

#Seraph ☆ Missed connection: To the fallen angel at church last sunday #//asks

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Day 6 : Comfort - 2P!Canada/James Williams

"What? You're lying! How can you be together with James for almost 2 years and not have some fun with him? I mean, he's so hot! What's stopping you?" my friend asked, looking at me with a horrified look.

"Uhm...I just never really thought about it, I guess." I look away, uncomfortably shuffling on my feet, taking another sip of my hot chocolate.

"Girl, listen. Boys are boys and boys get bored. Next thing you know, you'll become the side chick while he goes behind your back with some slut. I say you show him some affection and stop being so cold, or you're gonna lose him. Hell, if you're tired of him, just let me get him-" she kept ranting, but I tsked in annoyance and got up, ready to leave the cafe, putting the money on the table.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. See you later." I shrugged, rushing out into the whipping cold, warming my hands with the hot chocolate cup, my mind filled up with so many toxic things swarming and eroding my sanity.

I sigh and get a book to read in bed, from one of my favourite authors, Steve Cavanagh, but despite how exciting this book was, I just couldn't concentrate at all on the words imprinted on the paper, but on the ones tearing apart my brain.

He won't leave me, will he?

I mean, if he was annoyed by something, he'd tell me directly, right?

Actually...He's one to avoid confrontation and let things go away by themselves.

I'm not cold with him, am I?

Who am I kidding, I've been called our for being cold, even when I wasn't trying to.

He wouldn't get bored of me, would he?

He promised he wouldn't...

But so did others, and they lied, even while "comforting" me, they lied.

Everybody lies.

I had no idea how much time passed until the door to my room opened and James got in as nonchalantly as ever, his shades still on.

"Hey, Maple, I brought food-...Are you okay, chickadee? Why are you crying?" he put his suglasses on his head as he raised an eyebrow in genuine confusion and concern.

"I'm not crying, what do you mean?" I furrowed my brows, not understanding what he was talking about.

"Really? Then, did it rain in the room?" he put the bag down, sitting on the bed next to me, wiping away the tears I had no idea I cried, his hands lingering on my face, his violet eyes looking into my dark ones with certain soft look that I always see when he looks at me. "Talk to me, chickadee. What's bothering you?" his voice was calm and warm, but I could feel he was panicking.

"I don't really know...I didn't even realise I was crying. I just...I don't know...I...I don't know..." I bit my lip, looking down at my lap.

"Something is definitely eating you away...Do you trust me, Kat?" he asked all of a sudden, which made me gasp and look up at him confused.

"Of course I trust you! What's that question?!" I asked, a little annoyed.

"Then please talk to me. I know I'm nkt the best at communicating, especially with how I grew up, but I want you...Us to be okay." it was a bit difficul for him to say that out loud, but I could feel he was meaning it whole-heartedly, which made me sigh, my bottom lip quivering a bit.

"I...I...Just...Went out with the wrong person, I guess...And uhm...She just...Said some things to me...That kinda hit my sensitive spots." I managed to say.

"What did she say, Maple? Did she make you feel insecure?" he asked, making me nod slightly.

"She...She said that...Well...It's pretty silly, I guess..." I stop for a bit, as James held my hands in a way to encourage me to speak. "She...Said you'll get bored of me soon." I whispered, hanging my head even lower.

"Why the...Why would she say something like that? She doesn't know us or our relationship, so her opinions are pretty shit." I could feel he tried not to swear around me, despite being very irked by this, since he knows I'm not a fan of swearing.

"Because...Because...We didn't...Y'know...That..." I wasn't sure if my voice was audible or not, but by the aggravated sigh from James, I could guess he understood me.

"Some people should really keep their opinions to themselves. Do me a favour and stop hanging out with idiots like this bi-...Ahem, chick. They're just jealous on you since you're smart and beautiful and they'll never be like you." he shrugged, raising my face up to look at him.

"I don't know...Everyone around me keeps saying the same things lver and over...And over again...It's kinda hard not to think about it. Even my parents keep pestering me about it. It's a nightmare..." I cover my face with my hands, trying my best not to show that tears were threatening to fall again.

"Maple, look at me, please. Listen to me. You and I are the only ones who can have a say in our relationship, not the rest of the world, okay? It's only you and I against the world, just as it's always been. I would never leave you for something like this. I love you, chickadee. I know I don't say it often, but I do. For me, every little bit of affection you show me means the world. And Kat, I have never felt better than when I had your arms around me." his words were like honey to me, easing away any pain that my heart held at some point, or any doubt that my mind was harbouring.

I threw my arms around James' neck and climbed on his lap, just feeling his heartbeat against my chest as I managed to calm down and think more clear, thanking him repeatedly, in a whispered voice.

"So...What did you bring to eat?" I leaned back to look at him with a soft smile on my face.

"All the best stuff, of course." he chuckled lightly as we got the bag from the table to eat the awesome prosciutto and bacon sandwiches with melted cheese from the corner shop.

#aph hetalia #hetalia x reader #2p hetalia imagine #hetalia imagine #hetalia #2p!canada #2p!hetalia #2P!Canada imagine #2P!Canada x reader #2P!hetalia x reader #asexual #fluffy #fluffy self cember #self indulgent

[freakandgeek]

LET'S TALK ABOUT DOUBLE OR NOTHING 2020:

this really was a terrible week for pro wrestling

and im glad they had a really serious moment !!

this is the best ppv I've seen in years i guess ????

❗LET❗SWOLE❗ FIGHT❗

like,,, i was sure she was gonna jump over the barricade to kick somebody's ass

i thought they were gonna be safer after all the injuries on wednesday

buT DARBY ALLIN LITERALLY TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH WITH HIS SKATEBOARD FROM THE TOP OF A I-DON'T-KNOW-HOW-MUCH-BUT-VERY-MUCH-HIGH LADDER INTO ANOTHER LADDER WHATHDHJC

OC asking the commentators how to win the match had me YELLING

but him not knowing how to use a ladder JDJFF I WAS CRYING I SWEAR

JIMMY SUITE *CHEF'S KISS*

BRIAN CAGE 😳😳

when oc was on cage's back and almost won the match i had a MITB flashback I HAD FEAR IN MY EYES IM TELLING YA

so now it's pretty obvious that cage will feud with darby and I CANNOT WAIT

but what if darby will have a manager too ??? IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW

i can't stress it enough but MJF AND JUNGLE BOY ARE PURE GOLD

future legend i said what i said

I think we can all agree that the TNT championship is horrible

NO THE GOLD WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER

THAT LOOK THAT TYSON HAD WHEN ARCHER ENTERED LMAOOOOO

THIS MATCH 💯

maybe there was too much chaos at the end i guess

and please jake DO NOT EVER THROW THAT SNAKE AT SOMEBODY EVER AGAIN

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING IT PLEASE IM TERRIFIED

the ddt in front of jake CODY YOU REALLY ARE TRYING TO PISS HIM OFF

*THE STINGER SPLASH*

i had so much fun watching penelope v kriss

kip looked like he got hit by a train and tbh I FELT THAT

THE WOMEN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH WAS MOTN I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING

(if we don't consider that crazy main event)

SHIDA WENT THROUGH TWO TABLE I THINK W T F ❓❔❓❔❓❔

"ALWAYS BET ON BLACK"

nyla lost 🙁

SHIDA WON 🤩

i've never loved any kind of props as much as i loved those poker fiches AMAZING

MOX THAT JACKET WAS TERRIBLE HELP

i don't think somebody actually told mox and brodie lee that they CAN'T KILL EACH OTHER

THE PARADIGM SHIFT THROUGH THE RAMP ❗❗❗❗

we could only see the foot and i was like 🤯🤯

I LOVED THE ENDING

yes lee lost BUT he wasn't pinned nor he tapped out

it was a referee stoppage

GENIUS 10/10

nOW

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN WRESTLING IN YEARS I THINK

THE INNER CIRCLE WITH THE FOOTBALL ATTIRE DJKDKGKFKAG

adam page wasn't there and I was like EXCUSE ME

(btw vickie guerrero was there too and i loved it)

apparently he saw the entrance cody did with his car and said NO ONE CAN BE MORE EXTRA THAN ME

so he RODE A FCKING HORSE THROUGH THE FIELD

at this point i had to pinch myself because i was sure that it couldn't be real

but it was AND IT WASN'T EVEN THE CRAZIEST THING

RUN SAMMY RUUUUUUUUN

matt had a broken rib i think but he still did a moonsault from something that's IDK TWO THREE METERS

ARE YOU CRAZY ❓❓❓❓❓

IDK I WATCHED THE MATCH TWICE AND I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED

MATT HARDY CHANGING GIMMICK ME: 💀💀

THE CHAIR OF WHEEL

"are you here to fight or to drink?" MH WHAT DO YOU THINK

can i say i got a bit emotional when i saw kenny and adam fight together again? I JUST MISSED THEM OKAY OKAYYYKDKC

AND THEY ACTUALLY DESTROYED FOUR OR FIVE OR IDK IM NKT GOOD WITH NUMBER BOTTLE ON HAGER'S HEAD?

H O W

matt suplexin sammy from a side to the other of the field was so stupid WHY AM I LAUGHING

AUBREY AND JERICHO IS THE FEUD OF THE YEAR

THAT WILL NEVER GET OLD

ONE WINGED ANGEL FROM I DON'T KNOW HOW HIGH

WHY THEY CAN'T JUST STAY WITH THEIR FEET ON THE FKCING GROUND FFS

THE ELITE BEING HAPPY ALL TOGETHER??? YES PLEASE LET'S KEEP IT LIKE THIS

THIS WAS JUST PERFECT

THANK YOU AEW FOR ENTERTAINING US DURING THESE FCKED UP TIMES

I'LL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL

#aew #aew don #aew dynamite #aew double or nothing #double or nothing #stay safe STAY ON THE GROUND #⚡

[viridescent-lament]

someone paying an absurd amkunt of attention to my recent rbs may have noticed all the art i rbed is tagged with inspo and favorites. and that is because. i can look at so many things i love in all this art. and look at my art and realize i cant even begin to mimic that. i cant compare. 

im going to back up because theres a bit more i think. just a dump of things that have affected? my mood

a few days ago. i look at my face. i see bumps. i am very concerned (im supposed have a clear face because thats one of the few consistent compliments on my face thats the one measurable thing that i liked about it -)

i do a mask or two (a rare event, and a different maskni havent used before) it doesnt gok away. but while im looking. i realize i dont hate my face (at the time). i recognize several things that arent bad and some that are neutral. from this point on ive cokntinued to do an apricot scrub but those bumps remain (they were there befoe school but i suspect wearing a mask all day has worsened it.)

i work on an art piece for a few days. i am not happy wiuth it but it doesnt look bad.i post it before school.

now that im finihed with that piece i need something to do during school. i crochet. made a coaster in one bus ride to school, another between classwork, and most of one during a mostly free period, which was completed on the bus. (to be fair. its 5 rounds and described as quick to work up)

the first i give to my teacher before school. she is nice about it. notably, i offered it to a teacher i had last year first, who mentions she still has a doily i  gave to her last year, and she thinks of me when she sees it.

i gave the second to my art teacher. he is very nice about it, which is not unusual but always makes me :D

also during art. i work on a pinch pot and recieved positive feedback relating to it beijng a square and alsl me adding orbs to the corners. notably. i placed the pot on my friends desk and said something along the lines of 'i crave [feedback/attention]' (dont remember exact wording)

i try to finish the last coaster in last period to give to my teacher but fail. i do give it to my friend while we're in the bus and she has a very sweet reaction (involving gasping and compoiments and i noticed her staring at it for awhile after)

sometime after that on the bus ride i think about how nice positive feedback is and vaguely wish my friend from last year who always had an extreme good reaction to gifts and kind acts was still here.

the art has not had any feedback beyond the requester/my friend (who is the requester). thats not too bad but i dont rb it to main bcs i want to post the speedpaint first.

i start working on getting the speedpaint up. i need a song. i ask my sisters while we r outside about songs i can use. the twins are alsok planning 'celebration days' for mema. we end up singing and they stol and say my voice is good. a bit more singing and me being embarrassed and sinking to the floor with my hands covering my face at one point. i have been convinced to join them in singing a song for mema.

at this point i was excited. i am critical of my voice and have not sung much since third grade choir (i auditioned the next year but did not make it, which was discouraging for a small child).

next day. another apricot scrub to maybe get those bumps off. excited messing around with twins in morning. printing out pictures of myself at emmas request. and printing song lyrics. mema is mowing outside. i begin to practice. i doknt hate it. i stop and drink water. i try to memoripe lyrics, although i donot get ti the end. considering posting my singing on blog. twins go swimming. i take a small break. post speedpaint. 

twins come inside w kai. they are all in a bad mood. i try to start again, slightly nervous/embarrassed to sing in front of people. 'im a little pitchy' 'yeah you are' - kai. kais always like that but. emma also says its not good. notably emma is never like that. i dont really care cuz its obvious shes in a bad mood even without avas reassurance. 

ava convinces me tok play tea party. kai clinks spoon against ceramic cup and it hurts my ears. i tell her to stop and she does. kai tells me to go off my tablet. i cokntinue with the internal justification 'its overwhelming to focus on them only (not exact words)'. ear still hurts from cup clinking. small snarking between kai and i. twins and kais voice eventually becoming more and more irritating. i leave tea party.

later twins trying to get my attention and i answer aggressively and they say nevermind. internally i amthinkung that this isnt even overstimulation/bad noise (cant remember word for that) just me being annoyed at them for no reason. 

speedpaint has recieved no attention. i shoukdnt care but am slightly disappointed. i try going through open tabs to rrb things. all the art is amazing. i tag everything as inspo and favorites, because its all amazing. i keep noticing littke techniques that each piece does. two handle lineart color differnces better than i did on that request. one has a sketchiness to the lines that adds to it. one has beautiful flowers that i could never get. i think about improving. i dont know how. i cant figure out how to learn. and other self depreciation.

that self depreciation continues with my singing. i cant do it. im not good at singing. i cant memorize the words. etc. mema is out of the house and i try practicing again. i cant get myself to sing. i eventually tell twins i cant do it. 

throughout this. i try to listen to music. watch videos. something to blockbout the noise and get the right noise. nothing works. currently settled on a song that almost does it.

theres alot of internal emotion that i dont know how to describe. 

logically i know myart didnt get nktes bcs it was posted while my friends were offline. and art not getting notes is one thing thatas nkt even a major part of this. but.

i am disgusted by my face right now. i doknt know whats wrong with it. i dont know whats wrong with my body.

ive been thinking about cutting my hair. i like how it looks now. and have recieved a random compliment from somebody i dont know at school. who said i could really pull it off. but. i want to experiment. ill probably come back to this style. but i want to try some stuff.

[perlermer]

ADHD- why you gotta be like that!?

It's fucking noon right now. Bae is traveling back to Cali from Florida so I can't rant to her about how fucking frustrating my day has been so far so hi Tumblr. In chronological order, here are all the fuck yous ADHD has thrown my way today. 1. Could not sleep last night. Got 4 hours of sleep. Thank the lord for the app Sleep Cycle to help me wake up when it is best for me to wake up on days like this. If it wasn't for it, I'd still be zombing around because I'd pick a time to wake up that'd be in the middle of rem cycle. That shit is the worst. 2. Woke up "early" to fucking go to the gym when it opened (11am). It's Spring Break so the gym will close at 1pm and not open again until 4, which, in my fucking humble opinion, is the worst time to work out. Keep in mind that it took so much effort to get my unmotivated ass out of bed, off of youtube, and then off of all the other distractions that I was so tempted to engage with. Before I got in the car to drive to the gym, I came back to the house twice. I'd forgotten my fucking water bottle then my fucking car key. 2. I get into the fucking car, drive to the gym, get out and walk to the door. I remember that I lost my fucking ID i don't know how fucking long ago so I ring the let-my-sorry-ass-in-please button. The person at the desk rings the door open for my ass. I walk in say "hi, I forgot my ID" expecting a "no worries, we cool" type of response and almost kinda assumed that's what this nice white boy just said cause was i paying attention? No, no. Four seconds later, I digest what this RA- looking white boy just said and anger, frustations, and all the other feelings set in. He said, "I'm sorry but if I can't let you work out without your ID. It's a liability thing." What i said in response was something like "what? really? You see, I have no idea where it is so I can't just go back and get it right now. Would it be okay if I give you my emergency contact info just today? I kinda really need to workout." All along intrusive thoughts are like, while you speak and try to make coherent sentences and explain to hint to this white boy you good so you won't really cause any problems and you really need to work out, Imma try to think about 20 half-baked ideas why he might be being so fucking petty about this; this might be his first day, so he following every petty rule Stupid Commander In Chief lady in charge of the gym has told him to follow. Do i not look like a fucking students? Why the fuck this is funny? He is saying sorry, but is he really? Should I let myself lose it on his ass? Would me telling him that I know exactly how the fucking policy works make a difference? I fucking did his job during the summer yet I still let it slide when some student forgot their stupid ID. Actually, EVERYBODY but his petty ass is chill about this policy because we are at Whitman and everybody is chill but him. How does he look like the fucking Prime Whitman stereotype yet have no chill? I feel so bad for half wanting to slice his skinny, ashy, unshaved throat with my eyes and get him fired but I just give him a "alright, I'm done talking with your stupid bureaucratic ass" look and after he apologizes for the last time, I mumble "no worries, it's nkt your fault" and leave. As i leave i can feel him following me with his eyes from the front desk. I can't help but start complaining to myself outloud about this bullshit as I get back in the car. I know he stilk looking and I kinda want him to know that today, he might have ruined my fucking day for being so fucking petty and if I see him around, he better at least remember with his neurotypical, beauracratuc brain my bun, my eyes, my voice and try to avoid me like the plague because i might just give him the biggest shade I've given in my life. I have close to zero self-control and I'm not about to try to waste the little amount that I do have on his sorry ass... 3. Another fuck you ADHD felt like giving me today was that, while all this was happening, part of me knew that it makes sense what he is doing: his fucking job. Yet, that didn't stop me from feeling like I was about to burst and ridicule myself in front of his white ass. So, I drive off and lose it. I'm trying to figure out what the fuck to do now that the one the biggest things I was trying to accomplish today isn't gonna happen. I was already mad at myself the instant i heard him tell me i couldn't use the gym but now that the idea that i woke up early for no fucking reason and worked so hard to get my understimulated ass to the gym to turn right back having done no excercise and actually more mentally exasperated than i would have imagined sinks in, I get even more mad at my self. Long story short, I ended up coming to the conclusion that it ain't my fault or his, at least I want to think so, it's just a fucking shitty situation we all in. I think of complaining to the college for this bs, but it probs wont happen because I know the probability that I'll actually do it is less than minimal. I know i shouldn't go back home yet because once I'm in there there is no power on this earth that will get me to build the motivation to do anything but watch youtube videos until it's 4-fucking-am in the fucking morning and I have to set my alarm, again, to wake me up in four or five hours because I got to wake up early again to give my unmotivated, understimulated, and bitter ass extra time to actually get out of bed and maybe do something productive. So, instead of gping home I secide to drive to Benington Lake and walk or maybe even try running. I've been scared to run because I know I'm super out of shape and running when I'm this unfit might make me feel like running is torture, which is not. But then I think, "I do love running and miss it terribly so this might actually turn out good. Let's just try it." So here i am. In the Benington Lake parking area, in the car, writing this rant. Just for the record, i just spent one and a half hours typing this. It's 1:33pm right now. ADHD, all i know is that you're real annoying some times. Most times actually. Right now, I'm going to go and venture out into this beautiful landscape for about an hour. Listen to Bey, walk, run, try to meditate, put this shitty start to my day behind me, and maybe start thinking of ways to start finding humor in all this ordeals for my own mental sake. Peace out.

#rant #ADHD #rsd

[velvtcherie]

Jaemin is useless and lame. Nct dream has been fine without him. He just needs to give up cause being an idol was clearly nkt the plan for him.

hello there whoever you are. i apologize for the late reply. i see that you have probably read my short post on disrespectful fans. nct dream debuted with SEVEN members, and just because he isn’t active with the rest in this comeback doesn’t mean he’s “useless”.

i don’t know why you all anti-jaemin people can’t understand that his health is our top priority as an NCTzen.

and btw, did you really look for tags about nct dream/jaemin just to send in hate about my children? that’s pathetic. if you’re just going to say negative things, better keep them to yourselves because i am NOT looking for shit today :)

oh, and i forgot to tell you, kindly fuck off :D