#i can die happy now. im not crazy. im crazy but im not lying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arowrath · 24 days

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following me simulator (in the reverse order it should be for readability sorry)

773,439 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:27am

good MORNINg dashboard. time for another day i am not ready but i will do it

#text #happyt thursday treat thursday

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 10:02am

to do today. psych quiz , work on zines, Remember to eat, dont die

#text #to do list tag

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 10:37am

my life is so beautiful (boy whos at the library voice)

#text

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 11:13am

GO TO HERE

#text #Spotify

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 11:22am

all right well why dont u listen to the waves crash against the shore for a while and maybe you’ll calm down . can you let the beauty of the world overtake you for just one fucking second

#text

31,798 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 12:05pm

everyone on here needs to stop laughing about how "adopting pets from a shelter is for losers" and "those animals should be hunted for sport instead" its reprehensible on so many levels. First of all

#text #discourse

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 12:32pm

answer my questions boy

#text #polls

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 01:14pm

mcr5 summer 2024. mark my words

#text #mcr5

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 01:49pm

shaking and trembling and looking at you with fear in my eyes etc . did anyone else notice its scary

#text #scaredposting

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 02:43pm

ooh my godfdddd guys . just had an f slur moment so insane i literally cant come backfrom this one they have to kill me they have to kill me.

#text #I HATE BEING BISEXUAL THIS IS SO HUMBLING . #i would literally. WHATEVER

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aropride Follow 🔁 mychemmutal1 Follow April 5th 2024, 04:12pm

[gerard image]

#i miss you baby girl please call me i love you

12,971 notes

aropride Follow 🔁 normalaestheticblog Follow April 5th 2024, 04:23pm

[picture of a big clunky computer with some wires exposed or something]

#MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE. need her carnally #💾

7,122 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 06:37pm

just had the best pbj sandwich ever if you even care

#i love you pbj sandwich #text

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 06:58pm

i am goign to rip this title ix coordinator LIMB FROM LIMB !!!!!!!!

#text #WHO ELSE UP HAVING THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATED LOLLLL #the negligence is crazy Lol . giys should i sue . i could literally fucking sue right now . oh my god . jesus christ #neg #🗒️

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 07:14pm

its like no one even cares about frozen 2013 anymore

#text

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aropride Follow 🔁 mychemmutual2 Follow April 5th 2024, 07:19pm

[gerard image]

#i miss her thighs i mean her music #PLEASE VOME BACKKKKKKK

1,939 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:12pm

judt went to the store and almost got hit by a fucking car coming back Like actually

#text #HAPPY THURSDAY I GUESS . WHATEVER

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:15pm

no but literally like. im NEVER gonna give you up. NEVER gonna let you down NEVER gonna tell a lie and HURT YOU..!!!!!!!!

#text #/ly

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:31pm

edibles time i deserve a little treat to be FREAKING honest

#text #weedposting

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aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 09:48pm

The edible has turned me bisexual once more.

#text #I NEED THEM IN A WAY THAT'S CONCERNING TO THE QUEER RIGHTS MOVEMENT

#text #fakeposting #about me

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idealspawn · 10 months

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i wrote a poem for the guy im seeing and he said he will save it to open it in paris when he misses me bc in a few weeks he will go travel through half of europe w his friends and we wont be able to see for a little while.... we also hid secret positive messages all around the city with pink ribbons on for others to find!!! it was so fun it felt like we were fairies doing a quest in a fantasy video game. i introduced him to one of my closest friends too!! and they got along so well. invited him to join me and my friend for this open-air cinema in a few days!!! im sosooso happy he is sososososo sweet. and our top love languages are the exact same. quality time and physical touch!! i showed him around all the secret places in the city that i go to and told him all sorts of stories with those places. we talked abt our friends and family and i love it so much. i love listening to ppl talk abt the ppl they love. we shared our heartbreak stories too. he is coming over to my house when my parents are away and i will cook him tom kha soup (well... a slight alteration of it). he also invited me to his place in this other city one last time before he moves out to my city officially!!!!!! aaa a aaaa a aa a a. I HAD MY FIRST ICE CREAM THIS YEAR WITH HIM. the last time i had an ice cream was a year ago and then also like a year prior. i very rarely eat ice cream bc of my ed and the sugar content and all but i did it with him!!! because he loves ice cream a lot. and i didnt die!! once again i didnt die :DD sometimes im scared im too much for him but he said he likes girls that are a little crazy hahahaha but in a good way. so i guess he likes me :D when i ran down from a hill he caught me into his arms and kissed me. it was sooooooooo cute. we also went on swings!!! i love swings. it is so cute how he completely crashes when i randomly am affectionate sometimes ahhahaha. like he loses his train of thought completely. i randomly bit his shoulder in the store playfully and he was in the middle of answering one of my questions and he told me to wait bc now he cant process the question cause all he can think of is me ahahhaha and the same way when we were lying in the grass and i started to trace shapes on his forehead. he said he listens to our shared spotify playlist we made all of the time!!!! he said he likes it when i mess up his hair. fuck. aaaaaaaa. im so fucking happy wtf. after he left a swiss tourist came up to me and asked to take a picture of me bc my silhouette looked so beautiful in front of the sunset and talked to me for like an hour. that was so cool too.

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oh-snapperss · 4 months

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hey… how you doinnng……. it's me again….. i'll try to keep it nice and simple, but i can't promise anything, so we'll see where the road takes us.

i love the scene where ren loses etho, and he can feel it even before he understand that he lost him. i called etho the human in rens eyes in previous asks, but rn i think it expanded to a level, when etho represent the humanity as a feeling. i'll expand on that a bit later.

i also would really like to make a connection between losing an eye to see more, 'cus at some point etho needs to stop pretending not seeing love in his king eyes. but we'll see how next chapter :]

these whole part when ren commands people to carry etho to medics and there is skizz, "stop dead" i can't, this is.. so much :( and how after ren just can't stand and see how medics try to patch etho, how he needs to do something (i wonder where did we saw that already). the burden of the king is to see death and to know it's his fault. and when the death tries to take the loved once away, then it's unbearable. "let me no have killed him with his war," he thinks.

the scene where etho starts coughing and ren understand that's it's not enough to keep him in his hands to save him, is where i want to mumble about the humanity. 'cus okay, if etho is an anchor for ren, to keep him humane, to remind him, then what would happen if anchor dies? the whole comparison with the star is so on point here - without the constant ship will drift away. into madness, into despair, void knows, but. ship need its anchor. "let him survive this night, let him survive every night after". the fact that this prompted ren not to take revenge, but rather to sit down and stop the war is what is important. i like to think that ren did it while etho was still alive, 'cus he can't know what would happen if he dies.

the way all of the soldiers, alongside with skizz and ren were waiting for the news and how happy were all of them, when etho survived is another point of humanity of etho. the last hope or the first guide, call it whatever. he's so important, yet he's so painfully alive.

the "i love you" from ren, quite and like a prayer. 'cus the loss of the star means death. sun is also a star after all.

i honestly can't mention every detail or reference or this asks, already long enough will be even longer. but just know how much i appreciate them, i just honestly can't write: "he's surrounded by ghost today" AJFSDJIOSDJSDJRWIOJF. and this with every other one.

special thank you for including "a wounded animal. he'll be out of his misery soon" and "he would like to die at his home. his ren". if i say i didn't squeak, i'd be lying.

okay ummm. this one is even longer than the previous, im so sorry. i want to thank you both again, this is true poetry, thank you so much for this.

HI HELLO!!! thank you so much for the essay i genuinely love this!!

you are SO correct that etho's gonna have to start seeing the love from ren next chapter. it's gonna go very normally!! so so so normally!! there will be no tears at all!

ren really had to come to terms with a lot this chapter!! what it is to be king and what it is to love, and what he's gonna prioritize in his reign--which we know now is etho and love and life.

and you're very right about ren's anchor!! without etho i think he would slip into god knows where mentally. etho represents everything to ren<33

it was important to us that the soldiers be shown in this chapter. we wanted to really drive home the fact etho is a beloved person to them--that he's been a good leader despite all of it.

and OFC!! ehehehehehe i'm the one who wrote the wounded animal line. it's been driving me crazy for a week now and i don't think it's ever gonna stop!!

no apologies!!! asks like these are INCREDIBLE and while i have to take time to respond to them i adore this stuff seriously!! you are doing gods work KSDJHFKSJDf

@hitheeprithee

#laurie thoughts #rentho knights au

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tadpolesonalgae · 4 months

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im going to be honest with you im so lost with teeth and talons. rhysand is a god and so is lucien but azriel is a demon? and elain was turned like mc was but she's not a demon? and azriel wasn't neglecting her, he literally kidnapped her and now it's his fault mc is going crazy? was she already his mate when she was human?

(Small acowar spoilers below!)

Sorry yeah I guess it’s probably even more confusing with the upload times 😭

So Rhys is a god (instead of High Lord), Lucien is the son of a god (since he’s from Beron/Helion), and Elain was turned into a demon but she uses her powers to do her work as a priestess—she could still turn into some horrifying hell beast if she wanted to :)

With the neglect, I’d argue Azriel was really quite cruel to her at times…?

For example, this scene from Chapter 4:

‘You peer up at him, arms wrapping across your chest, keeping your nightclothes in your hands. “‘Thank me'?” You echo, voice shaking. "For what?" You swear something like amusement gleams in his eyes as he leans down, so he can stare at you. "For bringing you to a river instead of dumping you in some frozen wasteland for the beasts to fight over."

Then his wings are pulling away, shadows retracting back to him, light returning to your skin.

You stare up at him, wide-eyed, and feel yourself fracture. The tiniest break, splitting along your vertebrae. Your lips part slightly, vision blurring with painful confusion. He's so... volatile. You can never tell what mood he's in. Whether he'll be nice to you, let you nestle into his fur when he shifts to sleep, or whether he'll snarl and snap, degrade and punish you until your pieces are lying scattered across the ground.’

Chapter 6:

‘He doesn’t remind you of your belief that he’s forced you to reside with him in hell. That would cause too many questions, and he quite likes knowing you won’t try to escape, if only for fear of what lies beyond the castle floor which he holds you in.’

This scene from Chapter 7:

‘He leans closer, hot breath curling with his lip. "Why did you open the door?"

"I thought it was you," you stammer softly, peering at him beseechingly. He snarls at that, as if insulted. "How stupid can you be?" You reel back at the harsh words, staring.

"It had your eyes," you mumble, blinking back tears as you attempt to steady your breathing,

"I thought it was you. Don't call me stupid."

Just like that, he surges forward, tipping you backward onto the stone floor, pinning you down. His lip curls back from his teeth, then they're sinking into your neck. Words and sound are ripped from your conscious as pain lashes through you. It's not like before, not when it sent aching pleasure singing in your blood. This is punishing—agonising stinging. Muscles seize, fingers tremble, eyes wide. Your back arches into him at the onslaught of blazing brutality he's stamping into your skin.’

And this from Chapter 8 where she makes it quite clear she doesn’t want to be around him anymore:

‘He's on top of you, chaining you to the mattress as if it's a torture bed.

You need me. The words tumble freely into your mind, stretching across that strange thread that he's sewed to your soul. You need me to live.

You weakly shake your head, but it's little more than a tilt of your chin. "No..”

His hand settles on the pillow, and that strange pulse of energy washes through you. The bone-deep chill subsides, as if warmed by his power. As if in answer. What has he done?

If you don't undergo the Ritual, you will die, he says, in that strange, wordless way of his. You give him a look that you hope him to understand as, I will be happy to cross over, and be rid of you. By the way he stiffens, you think he does.’

Yes there were also moments where he took care of her, (the end of Chapter 8) but he made some pretty bad mistakes (like not telling her anything about the Ritual) which she still has every right to be furious about once she realises—which is what Elain is trying to get her to do.

End of chapter 8:

‘The thump of your heart grows weaker by the second, despite the increasingly frequent pulses of magic that thrum through your skin. Take the Ritual, and then you can return here. Remain as long as you like. Until the citadel falls to dust, and the rivers become lakes; become oceans. Remain forever, but take the Ritual, so you can see it all, and live.

If you didn't know better, you would say he sounds pleading. But you can hardly string one thought to the next, so you don't. Instead, you latch onto that final flicker he's shielding from the weight of the world, and nod.’

Chapter 9:

‘His dark eyes flick down to you, then he shifts you in his arms, lifting and moving you so your legs are tucked around his waist, arms guided gently over his shoulders. If you had the energy, you could purr. Nestle closer into him, feeling the firm press of his chest against your own, the strong muscle lining his body, the soft, silky locks at the nape of his neck.

"Hold on," he murmurs to you, one arm beneath you to keep you up, the other around your back, pressing between your shoulder blades then trailing down to grip your waist. Your spine arches, dipping as his forearm brushes the bone, holding just above your hip.

“I just want it to be over" you whisper onto his skin, head resting on his shoulder, tears blurring your vision. "It will be," he replies quietly. "Just a little longer.”’

Then there’s chapter 6 where he takes her to the holy lands:

‘He’s so close to the ground; you’re certain should he wish it, his talons could till the earth. He’s going so fast, hurtling through the open fields, moving with lethal motion, propelled forward by the powerful, beating muscle that binds his wings. Colour blurs by as you pass over dotted patches of wildflowers, leaving only gusts of wind in your wake, crystal-like water spraying to a fine mist as he shoots across a stream.

A laugh—young and wild and reckless—bursts from your throat. His shadows wrap slightly tighter as your grip loosens on him, allowing you to sit upright—that shield that he’s put in place blocking you from the air that would surely knock you clean from his back.’

Honestly in Teeth and Talons Azriel isn’t supposed to be wholly good or wholly evil, he just is, so I guess it’s up to you to make your own decisions and decide what to make of him :) 🧡💛

#anons <3 #teeth and talons #demon!azriel

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significant-ace-nnoyance · 1 year

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OKAY SO I'M READING THIS REALLY GOOD FANFIC AND I WANTED TO SHARE MY COMMENTARY ON IT.

OKAY LET'S GO.

OOOOOOOH OKAYYYYYYYY LET'S GOOOOO

OH MY GOD IS HE GOING TO CONFESS!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

OKAY...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAOOOOOOOOOO ALL OF THAT SET UP FOR THIS.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

WILL YOU CHICKEN.

AWWWWWWW NOOOOO STOP OVERTHINKING MIKE OH MY GOD STOP HATING YOURSELF-

....................................OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! IF SOMEONE DID THIS TO ME I WOULD MARRY THEM ON THE SPOT OH MY GOD I WOULD DIE.

DUDE SAME I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO MOVE, ALSO 🎶SHE SMELLS LIKE LEMON GRASS AND SLEEP...SHE TASTES LIKE APPLE JUCIE AND PEACH...🎶 OMG THIS IS SO INTIMATE AND LOVELY???

ALSO "it reminds of my great aunt berthas couch a little bit :(" CRYINGGGGG LMAOOOOOO

I'M LAUGHING TOO I'M SORRY BUT THIS WAS SO RANDOMLY FUNNY.

AWWWWW WILL HE'D NEVER BE MAD AT U :(

LMAOOOOOOOOO WHO KNEW A COUCH COULD BE SO FUNNY

ALSO THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS?!?!?!?!?!? INTIMATELY!??!?!?!?!?! THAT'S SO CUTE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? OMGGGGG EVEN THE WAITER NOTICED HOW GAY THEY ARE

LMAO THEY'RE SO CONFUSED.

CRYINGGGGGG OMG THE WAITER REALLY SAID

"I TOTALLY SUPPORT THE SKITTLES PEOPLE 😊🫶 🎶BEEEEEEEE WHOOOOOOO YOUUUUUUU AREEEEEE FOR YOURRR PRIIIIIIIIIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DON'T HIIIIIIDEEEEEEE🎶🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈"

I BET YOU WISH YOU WAS THO.

AWWWWWW ARE THEY GONNA COOK TOGETHER?!!??!?! 😭

"mike wheeler...the shitty cook...a CHEF?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH THEY'RE GONNA HAVE THE PLACE TO THEMSELVESSSSSS, NOW WHATEVER WILL THEY DO WITHIN THAT PERIOD OF TIME??? 👀

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE'S NOTICINGGGGGGGG

he's so real 😭

THIS IS SO POETIC??? WOW.

*crazy evil laughter*

OOOOOOH OKAYYY MIKE'S LOOKIN SEXY 🎶BLUEEEE JEANSSSS WHITE SHIRTTTT YOU'RE SO FRESH TO DEATH YOU KNOW YOU MAKE MY EYES BURNNNNNN🎶 AND ALSO OMG HE'S SWOOPING HIM INTO A HUG!?!??!?!?! SO SWEEEET 😭

ITALIAN MIKE WHEELER CANON.

MICHEAL? MORE LIKE MICHELANGELO 🇮🇹

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE THEY'RE FLIRTING NOWWWWWWWWW

ALSO NOOOOOO WILLLLLLLL PLEASE DON'T BE SADDDDD

teehee 🤭

oh my god the INTIMACY. the SHEER TENSION between these two.

"will can smell the clean citrus of mike's shampoo, he can feel his fingers brushing up against the small of his back as he secures the tie of the apron, the sheer closeness of the curly-haired boy is maddening"

I'M GOING INSANE.

OMG IM SO WXCITED LETS GO

…. BESTIE… BESTIE OMG OMG GOTMT I KNOW THIS FIC IT IS LITERALLY MY FAV THING EVER I HAVE BEEN DESPERATELY WAITING THE NEXT INSTALLMENT BECAUSE ITS SO DJDNBDBEBDBBD OMGOGMGOGM

LMAO IK I LOVE MIKE IN THIS FIC HES SUCH A SIMP SO CANON ACCURATE

the i’ve never been good at lying to you???? my fav trope of them omg adorbs

AHHH I FORGOT ON TOP OF A SIMP MIKE IS ALSO AN OVERTHINKER WITH SELF HATRED ANDLOW SELF ESTEEM 😭😭😭😭 SO MUCH FLUFF SO I ALWAYS FORGET HOW THESE FICS GUT ME

BESTIE IKR?????? SAME OMFG THEY R LITERALLY SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER AND SO CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEM BEING HAPPY MAKES THE OTHER HAPPY AND I WANT TO CRY

🎶oh you would find her in a polaroid picture <33 and she means everything to me 🎶 AHHHHHHHHH I KNOW I ABSOLUTELY DEVOUR SCENES LIKE THAT AND THIS ONE WAS SO WELL DONE

beeeeeeee whoooooo uuuuuuuu areeeeeee

omg though i do love the waiter she’s literally all of us being like OMG GAY PEOPLE <3 YALL R MARRIED RIGHT and i love that this fic is set in a world like without much homophobia it was a good break and sort of getaway like mike was more mad at himself about will not liking him over will being grossed out he’s gay which i liked like yes could i have one order of the pining and oblivious and kinda sad and angsty 😭 and cute ofc but WITHOUT the self hatred for queerness??? yes pls

ALSO side note i love that gif from heartstopper it’s literally the funniest part of the show i swear such a quotable set of lines djbdbdbebbdbd

I LOVE WILL FLIRTING U KNOW MICHAEL IS GONNA BE DONE FOR WHEN WILL FEELS COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO LET DOWN HIS GUARD AND FLIRT THAT BOY TO DEATH

omg fr will is literally me

POETRY OMFG I LOVE WRITERS ANDBYLER WRITERS FOR SOME REASON ARE SO ???? TALENTED ???? BEAUTIFUL ???? AMAZINGINCREDIBLEPOETICSHOWSTOPPING

byler freaking out over every piece of clothing the other wears is so real and i eat it up every time💀💀 also I NEED BYLER HUGS DONEJENEJ THAT WOULD ACTUALLY HEAL MY ENTIRE HEART

JSHDJDJJENEJSBEBBESTIE UR SO RIGHT IM WHEEZING MICHAELANGELO WHEEEELER FOR THE WIN

ugh more will being relatable it’s a constant back and forth with those two frfr like one minute shameless flirting and a flash of clarity through the obliviousness and the next right back to nonono don’t get the hopes up 😭😭

CHEF WHEELER

BESTIE I AM TOO LOSING MY MIND I AFORE THIS FIC THANK U FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO BASICALLY REREAD ITS LITERALLY ALL THE BEST DOMESTIC BYLER TROPES IN ONE NDBDJDJJEJDJDJJFJD

sorry this took so long to answer 😭😭my phone case is broken and half my keyboard is at like 50% functioning level 😭😭 BUT TY FOR SHARING OMG IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT???? I NEED AN UPDATE I NEED RESOLUTION I CANT WAIT DHBDBDJJSB

#byler fic

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honeydewcoldbrew · 2 months

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i found this in my google drive and its from 3 years ago. i deleted it but i wanted to post it somewhere private.

I am so scared and I feel so broken. I’m not sure how to keep looking forward. It is difficult when the person you love and trusted so much, hurt you the most. I’m not sure what the best way to move on from this situation is. I feel incredibly embarrassed and disrespected. I feel out of control of the situation. I feel like a fool. I feel like this random girl came and ruin my entire relationship. But then I realized that he had a part in it too. That’s what j=kills me. what kills me is knowing this happened twice and knowing they slept in the same bed. I’m not sure what to believe anymore. Looking at the person I love so much in disbelief, it was so much easier to block him out and paint him as a villain. I still want to paint him as a villain so I can grieve so much easier. I want to be with him I want things to go back to the way they were. He was supposed to be my person, I was so proud of him. We were supposed to go places together and laugh together and share experiences. It feels like it’s so far away now. I want to smash my face into a wall and never look at myself again cause all I see is someone so broken down. I never knew how good things use to be until it was all taken away from me. I want him to comfort me because he was the person that hurt me but when I’m without him I feel panicked. Everywhere I look, I see his face and I feel hurt. Everyone tells me, he lied, he did it twice, he slept in her bed. And those sentences ring in my head over and over and over and I feel fucking sick. Its not just the kissing its the lying over and over to cover up shit its ignoring my calls and yelling at me for being crazy for yelling at me for not giving space. Ive never been a clingy person and im only clingy at my fucking lowest points. I wasnt clingy because i was jealous i was worried fucking sick that he was hurt i should have known better i wish we had just broken up that Wednesday. I night so i wouldnt have to feel all of this hurt now. He will never get to know how it feels to be shut out and not know. I want to dig a hole and crawl into it and never come out. It would feel so good to just fucking die just to shut these thoughts out for one fucking second. So much I have to do and focus on and the things that made me so happy like school, my club, research, eating, watching movies, all give me nothing. I don’t know what going on, I’m so behind in everything.

I used to think so awful about people who cheated. I never thought he would do this to me. He wants me to forgive him, but that means I have to go against everything I once believed in. do I need to rewrite my idea of love to fit this person in my life again? Is this what I truly want? Can I live with this fear with this person for the rest of my life? He tells me that he will change everything that i could come back to an environment that is safe and loving. It feels so good to hear to come back and have more. I don’t want to think this happened for a reason and that it will make our relationship stronger. Why do good people have to take a hit in order to learn a lesson? I look at him and i feel so sad, and then i feel angry. But i always go back to feeling sad again. He always chased after me and thats what i love. He always made me feel so beautiful and worthy. Its hard when something like this makes you believe those things were never true.

I think my main concern is healing through this, so I can get my self-esteem back and be able to love and trust again.

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taxfraudhousewife · 2 months

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i wish i had a red and yellow cheongsam that fit me

one that hugs my unmistakably southern lack of curves

i wish i’d had one made to span the measure of ox shoulders and dog ribs

i wouldn’t have even had to pay for it

if only i hadn’t hated myself so much

that id sooner welcome sweet jaws of death before letting some elderly cantonese woman take the measure of my waist

does everyone have to think they’re dying before they stop hating their body

i like smoking in a tight dress and the sound of my ribs tearing a few seams

i like the slender view of the mirror from the side and the bear like broadness i always forget to expect from the front

i got grubby little retard hands just mini versions of those of brave cossack cousins

extremely specific facial fat distribution so i can never escape my mom and her sisters

i look just like luka or rather he looks like me

i always worry that luka will turn out like me

i know it’s not the same but i’m racist so how can i not worry

something feels dutch angled when i forget i’m asian

but it always filters back in albeit painful slowly

maybe it’s cause those ancestors never haunted me like the white

they don’t claw and clamour over each other

they don’t bawl or beg to not be forgotten

maybe i just need to take the time to understand

to know what makes the river yellow and the soil sweet

to follow the blood money back to before money

all the autism in the world can’t thrust me far back enough to really know it

or at least think i know it

maybe i’ll find my leftist messiah along the way

maybe i’ll find the last camp we made before we parted ways

maybe we can stay in our cozy little yurt in the buttfuck middle of bronze age mongolia

it took two seconds to come up with that scenario and i already know it’ll haunt me forever

what a netflix writer level contrived way for your life and mine to be planted in the same dirt

why can’t we

can’t even have an ethnicity crisis without dragging my sticky brain across the thought of muslim jesus

still why can’t we

no ethnically specific checkpoints no sterilized sisters no chinese spies in the attic

it would be quiet and simple and willingly mundane

lovingly average

just one big happy family and you and me and some steppe horses and a fire

i just want to witness you witness the sublime

might the golden light of god burn the sick out of you

might it’s warmth on the grass and on you bring even two seconds of comfort

i know neither of us would last two seconds in bronze age mongolia

you’d say we’re built for being smart not strong

but im neither and now you and me in bronze age mongolia is all i want

i’d keep you safe

you’d make fun of me if i said that

and you’d make even more fun if you saw my sorry current state

it’s getting worse and i feel like a piece of shit for not pursuing anything medically

it makes me think of how paranoid you were how privileged i am to not refuse treatment because they bugged the hospital

i know i should tell someone but i don’t know what to say

other than you shouldn’t starve yourself during puberty

maybe we’re exactly the same cause i can’t even admit to a living human that i’m not good

but i wouldve to you

maybe i’m just going crazy from lying in bed for too long

it hurts so bad to breathe and it makes me think of you and every faint and dry heave and low oxygen burp makes it worse

if it made me this small and weak and vulnerable what the fuck did it do to you

is that and worse how you spent your last months on this planet

honestly i just wanna crawl back into bed with you where we can both die in peace

i can handle the fainting and heaving and burping if at least you’re warm and well fed

last night i dreamed i had a man warm in bed with me

there was some sort of sexual connotation that i refused to investigate

he looked some type of brown like my dumb brain doesn’t even really know your face anymore

even in dreams it’s always the sexual connotation in place of the thing you’re supposed to know years before that

as if i could learn how to be an adult when i don’t even know how to be a human

i got scared my subconscious liked incest so i played with the thought

grateful to have found it funny and gross and absurd

maybe that’s what happens when men don’t learn to use their words

when fleeting moments of touch are all you have to cling to

i never learned to use my words to say i love you and you look like shit and im worried

still can’t say i miss you and i long for you and im going crazy without you

can’t say how we’ve maybe spent a combined hundred and forty four hours in each others presence

and maybe half of it i was too young to know

it’s stupid but anything good in me came from you

you gave me anger and sadness with a definitive source

not an age old curse not physiological misfortune not inherent wrongness rooted deep in my bone marrow

is that a stupid way of saying you introduced me to basic marxist theory

words for anger and sadness i couldn’t place

words that insist there is still something worth saving

i’m gonna hit a blinker and listen to the aaron bushnell audio

you’d say it’s a big deal

he said this is what our ruling class decided will be normal

#mental illness innit

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btsarmyforever2024 · 7 months

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"how does it feel knowing what a real person your daughter is? are you happy now? after all those times she abused me. now you believe me? what changed? "i want you to forgive my daughter. she realized her actions and she wants a second chance. so i want you to forgive her and everything she did to you. "are you crazy? im not forgiving her. she causedme to lose my son. im not forgiving her for that. "she had to do so. you gave all of your attention to your son and not her. she did that because she wanted you to herself. "jungkook i know i was wrong. but my mom is right. you barely even had the child and you already had your full attention on him. "he was my biological son. his mother died from cancer. i took care of him. he was myonly family but you wanted to ruin that and kill him. "but you have my daughter as your family now. she takes good care of you and she wants you to giver her a second chance. "yeah. and even if i didnt mean to kill your son you still have to pay attention to me. i deserve your full attention. "why are you pressuring my son? "well, my daughter yuan accidentally killed his son. but thats because she wanted his attention. and i told him that even so he still has to be with her. i mean now that he doesnt have a son they can be together. "wait. so you murdered my grandson because you want my son? "yes. that brat kept getting in our way. "thats it. im not giving her a second chance. "what? but jungkook remember what we said? you cant decline what we ask. "i can refuse if i please. its my choice rather i want to forgive you or not. and my answer is no. "but jungkook my daughter deserves you. she knows she is in the wrong but at the same time it was only for your love. and now that your son is no longer alive she can have you all to herself. "appa! "jeongsan? baby is that you? "appa! "no way! i killed you! how are you still alive? jungkook dont let your mind fool you. hes dead. "stop lying yuan. we all know you paid someone else to do this. and you mrs. lee. dont you have any shame? "jungkook, me and my mom understand you're sad. but you have me now. we can finally be together alone in peace. all you have to do is take my hand. "touch my dad and you'll fucking die. "what the? you little rascal. who are you to curse at me? "his son. and if you are wondering no i didnt die. i faked my death. i knew you were only with my dad for his money. l"what nonsense are you saying? "my son knew your dirty little tricks yuan. hes seen this happen to me before.

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purelycathartic · 1 year

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my last post was december 2017. it’s now december 2022. entering into 2023.

and i just feel like i’m sadder than ever before. because i’ve now realized that the type of romance and love i believe in, is just a dream. the reason i get so heartbroken every single time is because 1) men are all assholes, and 2) hurting the people you love is just normalized. im the crazy one for always immensely putting everyone else’s feelings before my own.

men operate with only their own happiness in mind, never their partner’s. i look at marriages and get so sad, because women do all the work. yet men will cheat. men will abuse. men will laugh and mock. but they’ll always do one thing tho - they’ll fuck you. they can see you as nothing, as garbage, as the biggest loser in the world, but they’ll still fuck you cuz they can’t fuck the girls they actually want!

hmm but even when they think they love you, theyll fuck other people. even when theyre happy with you, theyll think of other people. theyll talk to other people. their eyes will look for other people and desire them.

since the last time i’ve posted here, i was on an upward trajectory for a while yknow? i was with a partner who loved me a lot, treated me like i was the most special person in the world. i was visibly happy, glowing, i remember 2018 and most of 2019 as a happy time in my life. which is .. extremely rare.

and after that, everything’s just gone down to shit again. i am miserable - i hate looking at myself, i feel so disgusted looking at other couples, my own partner sometimes, i just feel so much pain. i am angry at God, i am angry at everyone and at this world for lying to me and raising me on the belief that true love is out there in the way i defined it. cuz its NOT.

like i said. you gotta pick ur poison - a cheater, an abuser, an absent partner, a pig, the most common tho? a liar and a cheater. usually a mix of both but always a liar lol.

i hate my life and i can’t wait to die. or better yet, i can’t wait to get my own apartment with my cat and just live the rest of my life alone, hugging myself and crying every day. everyone’s gonna move on (they already are) with their lives - getting married, seemingly being in love and having a partner who fulfills their needs. every night of my life I have asked Allah for signs, to give me something to let me know my fate. and everything has pointed to me not being meant for a life of companionship and romance. short-lived passion, solitude, and pain instead.

i hate every single one of you for what you’ve done to me, and how your lives are all working out pain-free and karma free. i hate you all for making me feel so inadequate. i hate you for lying to me, for making me go insane, for making me think im the problem for years, only to realize it’s you. but no one will ever know, no one thinks you’re the crazy one, everyone knows me as this girl whos hysterical for no reason. im the ugly girl. im the angry girl. i do not respect you. i hate everything.

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zuluc · 3 years

Text

hello i just had a little vacation and came back to my regularly scheduled lack of sleep 🥲 hope you enjoy this drabble ! this is set in a modern!au and if they are typos im too tired to fix them rn 😀

he really shouldn’t be here, not with your parents downstairs alert as always to make sure you aren’t hanging around with that boy again. they constantly talk ill of him to dissuade you from mentioning or even thinking of him. he’s not good for you, he’ll ruin your clean reputation. a delinquent.

didn’t he run away from home? isn’t he living with that woman who’s always drinking?

he doesn’t say much about his home, but he does mention how he wishes to return one day. visit old friends, maybe, and to show you the sights. one day he hopes, it just isn’t soon.

and the woman in question is boisterous at all times and not at all less responsible when drunk, which is most nights. she can hold her own and takes care of you like her own when you visit. she’d poke fun at the male for making a move so quickly but she forgets that she knows you’ve been together for quite some time. he teases her back, saying that she’s becoming like your parents for not knowing and she’s slightly offended. no offense to them, of course.

he’s a bad influence!

you could laugh in their face about the absurdity of their claims since they haven’t even met him, let alone held a single conversation. instead of vulgar language and slang they could not figure out, your parents would be surprised as to how well-versed he is in literature. his poems capturing much that he observes which now so happen to focus on one particular person.

“hey,” kazuha waves a hand in front of your face and you forget that he’s barely balanced on your window sill. you gasp slightly and grab his hand to help pull him in. he was as quiet as he always was.

it’s a skill he’s perfected to come up to your bedroom window without a peep, making sure to time his climbing on your large front lawn tree with the wind, masking his noise with the sound of the leaves. once you watched him in his entirety climbing and it’s as if he doesn’t even touch the bark, he jumps up like the wind is helping beneath him.

after he shuts your window you’re immediately taken in his arms, the smell of maple and his warm embrace greeting you welcomingly.

“are you alright?” he’s asking, pulling back to hold your face with one hand. his thumb caresses your cheek softly with a gaze set so sweetly on you. “what’s going on in that head of yours, maple leaf?”

kazuha isn’t unaware of your parent’s distaste of him nor is he of your ponderings over it. he doesn’t share much of his feelings about the topic, showing nonchalance against the situation but there is something that makes him uneasy. he hates to voice it out loud as if it could come true and you’d choose that way but he’d never know. not unless he asked.

actually, scratch that. he wasn’t uneasy. he was scared.

you sigh and he tightens the arm around you, still holding your face tenderly. you lift your hands up to hold onto the front of his sweater and lean forward to kiss him. it’s short and sweet and you laugh inwardly when his eyes downcast slightly when you pull away.

“my parents.” you say simply and he tenses. there is a beat of silence before you look up at him, and it surprises you. his expression is somewhat odd, an indescribable way his mouth is curled and how his stare is deadset on something past you. you can tell he isn’t looking at anything in particular but his hand is what gives you the clue.

it’s not touching your cheek now, instead it hovers.

he opens his mouth for a second and closes it.

“kazuha?” you say and he pulls away fully now. his eyes are on your floor and he’s darting them from all corners trying to figure out how to piece his words together.

it may be the first time he’s truly stuck.

“do you,” he starts slowly, having a hard time to let himself look you in the eye, “want to stop this?”

you’re flabbergasted. utterly taken aback. he’s taking small steps to the window but you pull on his wrist to bring him closer to you.

“what are you talking about?” in your head you’re thinking that maybe he’s had it with your complaining of the overprotectiveness, which was what you were going to do, but with his voice shaking you think it may be another thing. “are you crazy? do you think i’d let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

kazuha’s head shoots up at the statement and your mouth in shock after processing your words. you stutter with useless explanations but he just laughs airily with his head thrown back in relief. he hugs you again, the tenseness slowly dying down.

you weren’t lying, your now warm face giving it away. he gave you a sense of freedom away from the suffocation your family provides. you love them, absolutely, but they just wouldn’t let you live your life how you wanted. nothing bad was happening and you were happy, wasn’t that supposed to be enough?

“i thought you were breaking up with me,” he cups your face, a solemn smile shown to you, “dove, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

the next few minutes are filled with the both of you consoling each other, reassuring that no, you were both happy with your relationship and that there were just a few things you both wish could change with external factors. ultimately, between the two of you, everything was fine.

your legs grow more and more tired and from a shifting of your feet kazuha raises a brow and doesn’t think twice in lifting you in his arms. a surprised yelp comes from you and your mom calls up the stairs to ask if you’re okay. you quickly yell back an answer just as he throws you both on your bed, his head coming to cuddle into your neck with his arms around your middle tightly.

“we would have to tell them eventually,” he mutters, his breaths slowly evening out. you nod from your spot, turning to face him better and bringing up your hand to card through his hair.

“eventually.”

your eyes close and you mentally reassure yourself that you locked the door before he came in, slowly bringing yourself to sleep. kazuha tends to leave early in the morning just in case your parents get to suspicious from the lock so your worries die down to nothing.

that is, until he whispers once more.

“tomorrow morning it is.”

#late night thoughts #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcannons #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact angst #genshin impact kaedehara kazuha x reader #genshin impact kaedehara kazuha #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha #genshin impact kazuha x reader #genshin impact kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha

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i-never-even-wanted-to-be-here · 3 years

Text

I really wanna hear Neil and co. speak German. So have some German hcs

"Neil was fluent in German" and I think that's very sexy of him. I bet he doesn't really have an accent because he probably had to stay stealth in Europe and therefore perfected his accent. But I think if you listen closely you might hear how he still slightly struggles with our R and CH.

He can do a Swiss accent, which is hilarious.

I'd love it if he used Austrian words instead of the German versions! (I'm Austrian, let me have this) Imagine Neil addressing a rude reporter with "Oida" cause he's just done with them.

Dan asks him to translate that but he somehow can't find a good translation for it. (Because I can't)

I am aware that he doesn't know memes but "Bruder, muss los" (basically Ight I'mma head out) is his entire situation.

Nicky would call him "Dicka/ Digga" (dude) cause they're jocks.

And I'm begging for Neil to call Drew "Schatz" (darling; lit. treasure) just ONCE. He'd get a glare in return but I feel like Andrew would secretly gay panic.

Nicky's accent would be good, pure high German, since he's studied it for a long time and Erik gave him good experience. I bet they love hearing each other speak German and Erik is super supportive.

S*x happens in English tho because German dirty talk sounds DISGUSTING.

Der/die/das Nutella? They start fighting and betting until they think to ask Erik, who doesn't know it either but joins in on the discussion because he's highly opinionated on the topic. They're yelling, team bonds are being destroyed. The other Foxes think they've finally lost it.

Neil refuses to say "Schulz". Andrew considers breaking up with him about this but has a reputation to uphold so he pretends to dislike that rule as well.

Erik would show Nicky the movie "Schuh des Manitu" to culture him and they'd jam to The Superperforator Commercial because it is indeed a timeless bop.

Aaron and Andrew definitely have an accent. Apparently they have strong vocab because they use big words. I can imagine them struggling with articles and grammar tho. Andrew not so much because of his eiditic memory ofc.

Aaron wonders why tf "bitte", "so!" and "tja..." are being used in so many different contexts.

Nicky keeps a list of strange German words like Handschuhe (gloves, lit. hand shoes) and Kabelsalat (lit. cable salad) because he finds them funny.

One day Aaron behaves unusually upset and when Nicky asks him about it he says that he's mad that Haribo does NOT make him happy. Nicky joins in on being upset now. Andrew is in the back eating Haribo, unimpressed. The artificial flavours hit different that day.

manic!Andrew will directly translate German expressions like "How much clock is it?" or even worse "This is sausage to me". It annoys everyone. Most of all me.

Aaron mixing up the ways to say Why. When do you use which one? Ugh screw it, just say "warum".

When is it ss and when is it ß? Do it randomly, it is now süss and müßen (technically not wrong but you sound like a boomer)

Neil: Paradeiser (Austrian word for tomato)

Andrew: Tomate (German word for tomato)

Neil: -.-

Andrew: nobody fucking says Paradeiser ketchup!

Neil: Erdapfel (potatoe)

Andrew: that sounds horrible. It's Kartoffel.

Neil: Gelse (mosquito)

Andrew: it's Mücke

Neil: okay but get this... Polster (pillow)

Andrew: I will murder you

Nicky calling the shorter foxes Knilch, Schlingel and other cute, stupid expressions for which he gets ignored. Once he says "Füchschen" (little fox) to Andrew and that's when he snaps :)

"Stop! It all stays as it is, whether you're here or not!", Nicky yells. Neil looks very tired. It's one of these rare moments, in which he makes eye contact with Aaron and in that second, only that second, they feel a deep connection based on shared inner pain.

Anybody could be Manuel Neuer at this point and it is driving them crazy.

Aaron messes up and says "schwul" (gay) instead of "schwül" (humid) and Nicky laughs really hard at him.

Whenever one of them uses the Dativ instead of Genitiv the others immediately jump in and correct him. "It's wegen+Genitiv, you moron!!"

German jam sessions in the car on their way to Columbia. "Ich muss durch den Monsun, hinter die Welt" and "Du sitzt im Maserati Mercedes und siehst aus wie ein Loser", throw in some Trailerpark and Bausa too. They have a whole playlist with different artists and all the iconic songs. Kevin is suffering, as always.

Something is in the street and one of the boys yells "umfahren!" (run it over/ drive around it) but Nicky doesn't know which one is meant so they awkwardly swerve while screaming.

Aaron knows that German anime openings are the best. One piece, Digimon, you name it. They use anime as a form of confrontational therapy for Kevin. The two of them would watch an anime in Japanese with German subtitles.

Nicky once accidentally addressed manic!Andrew with "Sie" (formal you) instead of "du" (informal you) and Aaron would mock him going "Ihr" (very formal you) and "Eure Majestät" (your majesty) so Andrew is like "That's right, Riko can leave, I'm king now", which actually gets a little laugh out of Aaron. Nicky is really happy that they had a brief bonding moment.

"Alles bäm?", Nicky asked. In that moment Neil could've sworn he was back on German soil with his mom, drinking the clearest water, while making his way down to Stuttgart. "Läuft", he responds blinking tears away. He hadn't thought anything besides torture could make him cry.

Aaron calls Riko "Hurensohn" (son of a bitch; very common insult) once and at some point teaches Kevin how to say it.

Andrew's famous "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" (Das heißt nicht, dass ich dir nicht einen blasen würde) in German sounds kinda nasty imo. But Neil's shocked "You like me?" (Du magst mich?) is honestly pretty cute.

When they're in Germany Erik once makes a stupid reference "Warum liegt da Stroh?" (Why is there straw lying around?), which is a porn reference that somehow everyone in Germany knows, even if they haven't watched it. He is surprised when, of all people, Aaron is the one who reacts with "Why are you wearing a mask?", who now has to hastily explain that in high school German class someone mentioned it and he wanted to know what it meant so he unwisely looked it up.

Erik sends Kinder Surprise Eggs to Andrew to earn his trust.

Nicky makes up stupid German sayings. "You know in situations like this they say This is really flipping my pancakes right now but at least the pigs fly high". Neil thinks it sounds fishy but doesn't know for sure because German expressions are weird so he doesn't say anything. The others just have to believe it. One day Andrew brings it up in front of Erik to impress him but Erik just blinks at him in confusion. Andrew is angery. Nicky has to hide for the rest of the day.

+Bonus

Matt finds their German conversations very fascinating and asks for a few words. Neil makes him say "Eichhörnchen" (squirrel) but Matt fails miserably.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #nora sakavic #neil josten #andrew minyard #twinyards #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #andreil #jerejean

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 3 years

Text

forced landing.

Gif credits to the author.

FRANCISCO ‘CATFISH’ MORALES.

TRIPLE FRONTIER | USEFUL LINKS.

❝ words: about 1.2k.

❝ summary: watching the sunrise doesn't go as you expected.

❝ a / n: according to Google, Triple Frontier was filmed in Hawaii. don't forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i'd really appreciate it!

“Baby… Hey, baby”.

The soft whispers fall onto your ear being wrapped by two strong arms that squeeze you gently, as a pair of lips spread sweet short kisses all over the right side of your face.

“Amor, wake up”.

You grunt sleepy hiding in the gap between his neck and his shoulder, tangling your fingers in his brown curly hair, causing Frankie to giggle with that kind of laugh you'd kill for.

“C'mon, we gotta go”.

“It's still dark outside”. You whine wanting to continue sleeping under his firm grip.

“I know, but I wanna show you somethin'. C'mon, baby… I'm gonna make some coffee. Take a shower and get ready”.

As soon as he pulls himself away from you, you can't help but sob disappointed, sinking your face into the pillow to drown there another grunt before laying your eyes on your boyfriend dressed with a pair of dark pants and a mahogany shirt opened over a white t-shirt. Needless to say, he has already his favorite Standard cap on and his Timberland camel boots leading his steps downstairs. It should be illegal to look this good.

It's almost seven in the morning when you reach the airport, driving directly to the private runway where a Cessna Skycatcher is waiting for you. Turning at Frankie, who is focused on the road yet, you pucker your lips containing a joyful smile. He always knows how to surprise you and make getting up early worthwhile.

As usual, your boyfriend checks and makes sure that your headphones and your microphone are on point and working, before opening the door for you and helping you to jump in. Once everything is settled up, he starts to touch some buttons over his head before pulling back and to the left a lever to turn on the motor and the blades of the helicopter. There's nothing that Frankie can love more than flying with you by his copilot. You have the same adventure spirit he has, complimenting him to perfection. Following him on any crazy journey.

It's dawning over Hawaii when you reach the clear sky, fascinated with the views in front of your eyes. The sun seems like it is resurfacing from the blue dark sea, creating an orangey-pink horizon that has you totally captivated.

“This is Pilot from Cessna, four, six, one, to Launch Control, you copy me?”

Tilting your head to Frankie, watching him pressing a brown button close to your kneel, you can't help but raise an eyebrow quickly being pushed to reality when you don't have any response from the air-traffic controllers. You can see Frankie frowning, pretending he's not worried or confused. Actually, he's an experimented pilot, what could go wrong?

“Launch Control, this is Francisco Morales from Cessna, four, six, one. We're getting height, you copy that?”

He waits for a couple of seconds, clicking his tongue and closing his eyes for a second. You don't know too much about his job, but you know very well that he can't continue the flight without permission, or knowing if any plane is close. Turning the control wheel to the left to come back, much to his regret. Hearing him cursing in Spanish, the aircraft's wings stagger in the maneuver.

“Mierda”. He growls when a non-stop beep sounds flashing a red light over your heads.

You're losing height and the plane is about to dive.

“Fra— Frankie, what's goin'on?”

“Stay calm, baby. Stay calm”. He says squeezing your thigh for a second. “Listen, I need you to take the manual. It's possible we have to land in the sea”.

“No, no, no, no… You have to be fucking kidding me!”

“Baby, breathe”.

You're freaking out with your heart racing and your fingers shaking. He continues trying to contact the Launch Control, while you do your best to find the manual under your seat, bowing down as much as you can.

“Page two. Open it up on page two”.

You swallow heavily, scared like never before. It's not a question of trust, it's that you're too young to die.

“Don't panic, baby, okay? Just read me the manual”.

“Forced landing?” You babble about to cry, sniffing through your nose.

“Yeah”.

Frankie has never told you about his forced landings to not worry you, so you're guessing it's not his first time by the calm he's keeping. Or maybe he's just a pretender and he's more frightened than you are.

“Verify flight ring engagement?” You're reading automatically, without thinking or focusing on the words you're uttering.

“Got it”. He nods his head.

“Initiate Engagement Process, follow steps eleven to fourteen”.

“Okay, got it”.

“Fuel Selector Valve… check?”

“Wait, we're getting some response”. Frankie whispers, pretending to pay attention to something through the headphones.

“You're lying”. You reply breathlessly because no one is talking from the Launch Control, not being able to control the anxiety installing within your chest as you continue losing height. “The Pil—”.

You can't finish the sentence, as you have read what's next. Your eyes now are filled with other kinds of tears.

“Go on, baby, I need you to keep reading”.

“The Pilot in Comm— Command… God, I hate you so much, Frankie”. Cleaning your tears with the back of his hand, you wave it after to have some air. “The Pilot in Command will love the passenger forever”.

“Check”. Your boyfriend replies, turning at you for a second with a funny smile curving his lips. “Keep going, amor”.

“Will you marry the Pilot in Command?”

You can't help but leave the manual on your lap, while Frankie stabilizes the flight, covering your face with both hands breaking into a silent cry. A minute ago you were about to die and now you're about to get engaged. Feeling a tender kiss on your temple, you look at him running into a red velvet box opened with a gold ring on it. The small diamond on top of it shines with the dawn, causing you to laugh at the same time the tears fall from your eyes.

“I ha— hate you”. You chuckle cleaning again your cheeks and drying your hands in your t-shirt before taking the piece of jewelry.

Frankie watches you putting it in your finger, pouting straight to him, as his chest is swollen with pride and happiness. You cup his face onto your palms and crash your lips on his, peppering them once and once —until he gets too distracted and the aircraft makes a sharp move to the left.

“I'm… fucking done, Frankie! Land the damn plane!” You scream, panicking again, causing him to laugh loudly, having much more fun than he expected. “Jesus Christ… I'm not gonna fly with you ever in my life again, I swear it!”

Your hands now are firmly gripping your seat, as if in case of a falling to the ocean this could help you. What a clown.

“Hey, you…” Your now future husband claims your attention grabbing your hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss the back of it. “I love you, Mrs. Morales”.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17

TRIPLE FRONTIER: @phoenixhalliwell @goldielocks2004 @pedritomando @spideysimpossiblegirl @im-an-adult-ish

FRANKIE MORALES: @agirllovespancakes

#francisco catfish morales #francisco 'catfish' morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales #frankie morales #triple frontier imagine #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fluff

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theonekid123 · 3 years

Text

Why Don’t You Wanna Fuck Me?

Levi Ackerman X Reader

Summary: Y/N sleeps around with a lot of people but seems to steer clear of Levi, He’s unsure why so he tries to figure the mystery out.

Chapter 1

“Wake up!” that was the first thing i heard in the morning

“Fucking shit why would you do that?!” i yelled after i hit my head on the back board

“Sorry but you slept in and Hange needs your help with some experiment” Reiner told me looking tired, i mean he probably was after…..anyway

“Ok, can you hand me my clothes please '' I asked, rubbing my eyes and stretching. A stack of clothes was placed in front of me

“Can we maybe not talk about what happened last night” He asked looking concerned, I assume because he has a thing for Christa

“Have I ever fucked and told Reiner?” i asked as i put my clothes on

“No, sorry” he gave an awkward apology he stood there until i was done getting dressed

“Where’s Hange”

“With Sawney and Bean '' I don't know why I asked where else would she be. When I first joined the Corps Hange sorta recruited me as her assistant she had Moblit so im not to sure why but i nevr questioned it. If i'm being honest Hange and Moblit are my closest friends. Even if i almost die everytime i help that maniac.

“See you later Reiner '' I gave him a small wave as I went to see what Hange needed now.

“Y/N finally!” Moblit practically screamed walking towards you

“Jeez what did she do this time,,” I asked still slightly out of it from just waking up

“It's kind of complicated,” he said, dragging me to the tent where Hange usually did her research.

“Hange what the fuck did you do,” I said walking through the tent opening. That was when I realized there were other soldiers in the tent. Oh shit

“Section commander Hange, what the fuck did you do” I tried to correct myself to not seem disrespectful but the solders still looked at me like I was being disrespectful...oops

“Y/N good to see you let me run through the progress and notes from my previous experiment” Hange said exited while shuffling the stack of paper in her hands.

Four long hours later she concluded her speech. All the other soldiers exited the tent leaving just me Hange and Moblit.

“I'm not too sure Commander Erwin would want to hear you speak about your brand new discovery for 4 hours Hange,” I told her as I looked through her messy notes

“Your right Y/N...which is why I am asking you to summarize them for me,” she said

“Ok, Do you know how long this will take Hange?” it was a sincere question.If anyone could estimate it would be her.

“Dependson how much time you work on it” she said simply

“Why can't you or Moblit do it” it wasn’t that i didn't want to help my friend i just wasn't the biggest fan of paperwork

“We have an expedition in two days and we won't be back for at least a week” Moblit explained, Helping Hange pack some stuff for the expedition.

“Alright i'll do it as long as you two don”t die or something” i said folding the papers and putting them in my pocket

“Thank you Y/N” Moblit said while Hange slid into the chair across from me

“What?'' I asked as she stared at me with a quizzical look.

“Was it good?” she asked leaning her chin on her hand

“For fucks sake Hange, why do you want to know '' her and Moblit were the only one i talked to about my late night activities, bit only if they, Hange, initiated the conversation.

“I'm just a caring friend, and i want to know” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

“He was ok, could probably use some more practice though” i said picking the skin surrounding my fingernails.

“I thought he had a thing going on with that tall kid, what's his name?” Moblit joined the conversation. He hides it but we all know he loves some good gossip

“Bertholdt. He also has a thing for Christa” i know they won't go around telling everyone about this stuff so i'm not too cautious letting them know.

“Have you tried Erwin?'' Hange asked nonchalantly. I choked on my saliva

“Erwin?! The Commander?! Hange im not trying to get kicked out” maybe i was overreacting. I've slept with plenty of higher ups but the idea of trying with the Commander scared me.

“He won't kick you out in fact he might be happy he can let loose a little” she said with a smirk on her face

“I have paperwork to do,” I said, ending the conversation while I got up and left the tent.

“Sleep with the commander, she really is crazy” i say to myself as i walk to by room

“Does it seem ok?” I asked Hange as I gave her the finished product of the notes. She took a minute to look though it before speaking

“It looks perfect, how long did it take you?” she asked handing it back to me

“I finished it last night, i went through a lot of drafts before i got it down” i worked on it everyday till it was perfect. I rewrote it probably 20 times.

“Can you please give it to Erwin, I have to help unpack everything,” Hange said, walking off.

Maybe i’ll take Hange’s advice after all

“Good evening Commander Erwin, here’s the paperwork from Section Commander Hange,” I said putting the paperwork on his desk

“Please tell Hange I said thank you,” he replied as he started to briefly look through the paperwork

“Aren't you going to leave Scout,” He asked still looking at the papers

“You haven’t dismissed me, it would be disrespectful if I just left” I explained, I wasn’t interested in being respectful, I was just trying to be slick. After a moment of silence, I spoke up

“If I may ask, are you frustrated Commander?” he looked up from the paper, his eyes full of curiosity, this was my chance.

“Why do you ask Scout?” he asked looking back at the paper

“I was just curious, a lot of people seem to be overly frustrated lately, and since there aren’t too many ways to relieve said stress….” I trail off hoping he understands my implication. He put the paper down and looked up with the smallest smirk

“Are you frustrated Scout?” he asked, his voice dropping a few octaves and damn was it attractive

“If I were to say no then I’d be lying Commander” Hey, at least I was being honest

“Ok, well why don’t we help each other out,,” he said pushing out of his chair and circling his desk to stand in front of me

“If that's what you wish, commander, I will follow your orders” I was trying not to act like I was too excited. Sometimes I like to toy with men's emotions, letting them think I'm not into it even though I am. He stepped close and looked at my lips then back up to my eyes. I took the chance to initiate the first move, which would lead to many more. He was a good kisser I must admit. Unfortunately, we were interrupted when a knock was heard at his door. He pulled away heading to the door saying something about maybe letting whoever it was join. I don't know if he was joking but hey the more the merrier

“Hello, what can I do for you Captain Levi” Levi...great fucking wonderful.

“May I be dismissed, Commander Erwin?” I asked, turning and walking towards the door. He looked confused.

“Yes Scout, thank you for the paperwork,” He said as I walked passed him and Captain Levi

#aot #snk #levi aot #levi ackerman #erwin smith #erwin aot #commander hange #hange zöe #levi x y/n #reiner braun

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not-close-to-straight · 3 years

Text

Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--

Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy.

Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf.

STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU.

WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF

Episode 2:

Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus

WHO IS IN THE RADIO

Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable

IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO

Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now.

Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes

BABY BUMP!

Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor”

is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?

The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout?

Episode 3:

Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that.

IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross”

Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well

COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT

Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG

A STORK

Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this.

Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit.

The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*

...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?

Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON

OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal.

I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her

WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER

Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused.

Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT

It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST

Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?

ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO

At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing??

Episode 5

Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION.

WHERE IS RALPH

oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN

I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting.

THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this.

Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching.

DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel?

EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!

“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER.

“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking

WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW

SHE RECAST PIETRO

Episode 6

OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit.

Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS

Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious.

Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG.

Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??

Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it.

Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.

YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.

OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO

OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM

“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy

She literally expanded her world to save him omg

DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are

Season 7

Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.

Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point

“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there

I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD

It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor

The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(

Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??

LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE

“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny

LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty

“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it

Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.

WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD

Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??

AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD

This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit

Snoopers gonna snoop what?

Episode 8

Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start

“They simply bent to my power” What a queen

lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking

Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS

THE BABIES

Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?

Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS

Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???

Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.

SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???

Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.

Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf

“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute

“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.

Why the house though? Why west view?

OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.

CHAOS MAGIC

SCARLET WITCH

I CANNOT

OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO

#WandaVision

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