#i cant even put into words how i feel.

[4bs0lut3-s0lv3r]

Ah yes. Seasonal illness.

#uzi posts #vent in tags #i feel the pain and weakness spreading throughout my body. it hurts but at the same time its all numb. #i dont know how much longer i can stand. #i feel so. weak. #its like the marrow in my bones is what hurts. #i cant even put into words how i feel. #something is wrong with me but i dont know what

[rbtlvr]

(text from this post, fic is little kid with a big death wish by @remedyturtles)

i'm genuinely not sure where to start here - ig first of all this fic is absolutely incredible and if you somehow haven't read it yet you absolutely should!

okay. man. rem, this fic means so so much to me and i'm so glad i got to be here for it. i think this is one of those fics that'll stick with me years down the line even if one day i'm not into tmnt anymore, one i'll come back to over and over again

your writing has touched so so many people myself very much included, and i just. want to thank you so much for writing this fic and thank you for sharing it. you're an amazing writer and an amazing person and i'm lucky to know you. i can't wait to see what you do next

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #little kid with a big death wish #my art #forgor all my tags its ok ill come back later <3 anyway #god theres legit so so so much more i wanted to say but i cant get. the words right augh #i kinda tried to put some of it in the comic though so. yeah. the emotions anyway #idk idk i just have a Lot of feelings abt this fic and how real it feels and just . man. it hits so so hard /pos #just... the fact that dw leo has been through everything he has and is capable of recovery and living. even if he doesnt want to live just #yet. hes getting there. makes me feel like i can too as cheesy as that sounds lajfd;lajlfkl #anyway ive rambled enough i spent ten (10) full days on this comic i am setting it loose into the world. be free #suicide attempt cw #dissociation cw #<- just to be safe. ask to tag if theres anything else lafj;dljsafkl

[galakaz]

#project moon #limbus company #I beat canto 6 #canto vi spoilers #canto 6 spoilers #this face is how im feeling after it #it didn't hit me with a strong feeling of wanting to cry like canto 4 but #i cant really put into words how it got me feeling #I will say though this canto is good #really fucking good i do not know how the fuck project moon does it but they keep doing it #it did make me feel bad for using sunshower though i feel i shouldn't put him though that anymore im sorry heathcliff #in fact sorry to all the sinners for using any negative sanity id's #even though no spoilers here i just wanted to tag it anyway

[kaleidoscopeaglow]

i keep seeing chainshipping height difference posts and i am being so normal about it

#i hauve covid #i cant even coherently put into words how i feel about it rn #i’m gonna pass out #saw #sawposting #chainshipping

[tinukis]

i may seem to lean in more towards romanticism of zolu but imma be real here

theyre a whole secret third thing to me like— idk how to explain it it other than their love and bond transcends what romance and platonic. yes i will draw them smooching and have hearts flying all around them but it is not exactly romantic/platonic... (i mean honestly i dont mind how ppl interpret zolu whether its my art or in general)

bc i saw this one comic that just... perfectly described zolu and the strawhats to me? it was about law catching zolu and then discussing with the other strawhats about it and they explained that luffy does in fact love everyone equally and the same. for luffy, romantic nor platonic is Not a thing to him. (this is how i view luffy's aroaceness !! love isnt a category for him. love isnt something he could just pick and choose or whatever. love is just... loving someone. love is for the people very dear to him.) and in the comic, the strawhats say that zoro's the one and only guy who could keep up with luffy's energy and antics. so they dont mind the things they do together in privacy or in front of them. they know how much luffy loves them ALL EQUALLY and they all love him back

on topic of zolu and aroace... i've been around spaces and talked to a few zolu shippers (qpr shipping count) and noticed how many of us are at least on the aro/ace spectrum. there's just Something about zolu's special relationship that attracts us, and if you ship them and are aro/ace, im certain you'd agree. (even if you arent, we can mutually agree that they are a third thing, right?) like, theres something so... aroace about their relationship. they can be seen as romantic and they can be seen as platonic, but what can be absolutely certain is that their relationship is definitely queer. bc it's not something you can easily describe or that their relationship is The Norm. theyre insane for each other. luffy's the sun. zoro's the moon. luffy's a good. zoro's the king of hell. they complete each other. they absolutely need each other.

my memory is horrible and i cant say the words properly but basically: zolu's love and relationships transcends romance and platonically. yes you can see it as either, but as an aroace, i Feel it is way beyond that.

and again, will repeat it a million times over (mind you, it's not canon. it's a widely accepted HEADCANON. if you think luffy's sexuality is something else, thats cool): i believe that luffy's aroaceness is way beyond "not interested in attraction/xyz/whatever" like yeah, he doesn't think about it because it doesnt matter much to him. he doesnt apply whats romantic or platonic to HIS relationships. he can recognize romantic, sexual, platonic things. it's just not his thing to really think hard about (he doesnt think much in the first place (affectionage)) he feels love for the people he cares about and if they feel loved by him, however he approaches the love (and if they accept that kind of form) thats all that matters to him. he doesnt label/categorize love because it makes no sense to Him to prioritize someone over the other just bc he loves that someone a different way. he loves everyone equally and treats them as equals.

and when it comes to Any luffy ships, calling his significant other "partner" is what fits best. theyre not just best friends, theyre partners.

this is a mess of a rant but this is just how i feel abt zolu, luffy, his ship pairs, and his aroace hc :]

#tin talks #i feel the need to like say this a million times over bc i feel it's just not enough to get my point across #it's just... hard to describe yknow? #thats how being aroace feels to me and how i see aroace characters/hcs #but a character like luffy really made me understand my own sexuality better even if i cant put it into words #he helped me accept my aroaceness #luffy #headcanon #aromantic #asexual #aroace

[manichewitz]

help girl theyre making fluff pieces about school shootings now

#i cant even put into words how weird this makes me feel 😭 #like what #.txt #alex talks #new york times #nyt #school shooting #us politics #gun control #dogs

[lycanthian]

gonna be 19 in less than a week. its hitting me. girl what tha fuck.

#i dont even know if this is a bad thing its just scary #ive gotten a couple goals in for the year? getting a boyfriend and opening commissions being the main two #but it feels like ive spent most of the past year struggling with depression and debilitating anxiety and. ueagh #ive spentnso much time feeling awful and hating myself and not enough time enjoying myself. #i still struggle with doing basic tasks both hobbywise and selfcare wise and just. ueaagh. #i feel gross and annoying and difficult to get along with and awkward and lazy and. uaaaghhhggh #itsso bad rn i cant even put into words how im feeling properly #ive been teetering back and forth on the edge of a depressive spiral a la december 2023 for the past month #and imscared im gonna hit that again. and not have a way to cope and rest through it this time #because i have finals and portfolio stuff and im moving #and i have to help my friend make sure that shes going to have a place to live over the summer #and i have to get my drivers license and i have to get working on community service hours and i have so so so so so much to do and. weh #im scared i wont be able to do any of it #lycan howls

[mewtwo24]

I just watched s2 episode 10 in the english dub and I have to say. Nothing could have prepared me for Howard's delivery of that final scene where Xie Lian gets worked up about the truth coming out.

The just...sincerely agonized delivery of "That my words were the empty ramblings of a sad child!!" shook me to the core. The absolute self-loathing in that line, the raw emotion. The way concealing the truth was done to spare Lang Qianqiu but also at its heart was about Xie Lian's unresolved feelings of humiliation and shame, the way [redacted] did everything in his power to make Xie Lian lose faith in himself and the possibility of good prevailing in the world.

The way TGCF keeps me up at night, man...

#tgcf #xie lian #lang qianqiu #the runner-up line that devastated me too was: 'it's the least of what I DESERVE!!!' #i dont think there are words to describe how that made hua cheng feel knowing all that he does (from his time as wu ming) #legitimately its on the spectrum of mantis shrimp im guessing bc i can't fathom trying to put it into words either #the way xie lian won't stop punishing himself for wishing for better--for wishing for peace and collaboration--even 800 years later #the way he continues to take responsibility for all the wrongs others commit--the way he deems himself a failure -> #for things he simply could not change or did not purposefully incite. the way he won't stop punishing himself when things go wrong #i honestly cant get over how acutely xl feels like the result of gifted child syndrome #having all of these grandiose expectations placed on him and doing his utmost to uphold them at any cost #doing everything he can to the point of self-destruction to do the right thing #only to end up hated in the end when he proved to have limits--even as a god #and discarded despite his efforts; ultimately deemed worthless for not measuring up to what were impossible/rigged standards from the get g #and like . the way up to this point they made the creative decision to make xie lian's emotional range fairly static #not that he's unfeeling but that he doesn't tend to raise his voice or express anything extreme (for good reason) #until this precise moment where it all comes flying apart with so many old scars torn open #absolutely fantastic im on the ground #honestly i feel like i forget how difficult a decision this had to be for hua cheng #i mean naturally he chose this because he wanted xie lian absolved #and ultimately xie lian really does need to stop the self-flagellation--he takes it too far #but watching him tremble with fear haunted by the echoes of what he almost became #fucking cHRIST

[yaoianime]

Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️ #sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

[toestalucia]

this tagline...T_^ thinks about how main story alrdy referenced other timelines such as boundary power captain & like all of the events currently on the anni page? isnt only the sara & cagliostro events missing? along with all the different jobs, like its ssooo cheesy but i alrdy rly loved that they rly do lean into the timeline thing with 'everyone experiences granblue differently', so seeing this...regardless of the intention of it

#stardust speaking ! #gbf spoilers// #I THINK...gbf is such a lovely game. and i think its perfectly fine to only enjoy the parts u want in what capacity u want #when they first mentioned timelines i was Very concerned<3 but? with the way theyre doing it..................im very fond of it #im keeping track of food rn so i cant rly have the focus to put together my words like i want to #but i think saying 'u can experience gbf in ur own way' along with how they already handle events (even if at this point u often have to #accept the narrative that these ppl know each other (even if they often Are introduced within the event/story #so i feel...? its ok. probably. im not new anymore. but also having the tab on the preview page #that says 'hey these are the related events + characters' has been such a lovely change too #even on the anni page directly linking the imprtant chs?!?!? i think its cool! like! i would nvr look thro all that as a new plyr but! #i like it #anyway having 'soar to the cosmos' when cosmos isnt there on the page is a crime #like i dont supercare but i also do think its hilarious LOL

[basilpaste]

just wanting to say your isaloops au is making me go feral over the potential dynamic between loop and isa here and how much that must be devastating for LOOP and hrghgrhgr the. EVERYTHING there

THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN ISABEAU AND LOOP IN ISALOOPS MEANS FUCKING EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

the more i think about it the more Unwell i get about it. you have no idea. you have NO idea. aughghgh....

#basil answers #asks #anon #isaloops au #ITS SO. ITS **SO** #I CANT EVEN PUT INTO WORDS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THOSE TWO IN MY OWN. AU. #I JUST. (BREAKS DOWN SOBBING) #HNGH??? YKNOW?

[trashsketch]

I just finished reading The Giver by Lois Lowry!

#text #i cannot put into words how i feel without giving everything away but i can draw how i feel thinking about it!!!!!! #very few stories make me think to myself why do i even try writing when such good stories exist yknow HAHA #(i wont let that stop me but hey) #go read the giver. like right now? i cant believe i didnt come across it any earlier. LOISH MADE ART INSPIRED BY IT???

[silenthillbunni]

❄️🐇❕

#i feel like im going insane and tonight it's esp bad so i need to.... vent :$ #some time ago i had the fortune of a very very wonderful person entering my life. and since day one BOOM i think of them every single day #im not even exaggerating.. like every single day i just think and daydream of them. i've had sm extra inabiloty to focus - #bc i just need to constantly stop and think of them..... #there is so much abt them to adore and admire. so much!!!! i didnt know someone like them could exist.. #i love talking to them and i just wanna kno everything there is to know abt them!!! everything regarding interests me #there's also the aspect of how i feel talking to them. i know they dont judge the same way as other ppl do so it's easier to talk to them #tho i still have avpd so i often start over explaining myself and get insecure etc etc. i need to get out of my head!!!! #idk.. idk... it has never been like this for me. so im also scared #what do i do.. how do i navigate this? i've never been here before and i feel lost even if it's def not a bad place to be in #every single day... i just wish that i could be with them more and more. this wish never calms down it just gets bigger #but. how? how do i break this loop and make it into reality? is it only gonna stay as a desire and a daydream? :(( i rlly dont want that #im scared too. bc what if i want and can make it my reality but it just wont happen? what if it just wont #im also not the only one in this equation that decides. what if... i have to face rejection.. what if im a disappointment. what if what if #i dont know!! i only know that i think of them all day every day. it gets more nd more intense each day. #i also get more sure that it's what i want... #anywayyyy. im actually.. driving myself insane with how obsessively i think of this #i cant quite put it into words but i had to get at least some of it off my chest #like how. do i express my feelings to them. how do i turn it into reality. how do i face that fear of the unknown and smth i've never done #but also how do i face that fear and prepare for the fact that even if i want smth dreams made into reality cant be certain. #there r so many life things that decide what happens too.... not just my will and desire #but as well as.. how do i prqepare myself to deal with the potential oh whoops maybe im the only one who rlly want this. #maybe this is onesided maybe my feelings just flew out of control nd idk how to reel them back in whoops. #like i dont know at all what could happen.. all i know is what i wish.. hmm gosh this is all just making my head spin every day.

[bumpereatspants]

sorry but tihs is killing me 😭

first of all. why does his arm hair just cut off randomly

#why was thins a slay on pray or slay liek what is this #i cant even put into words how i feel about this #do other drivers just have a cut off on their arm hair too like? is there a reason for it or just for funsies #formula one #f1 #carlos sainz

[bo0zey]

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol #anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol #i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious; #ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc #then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close. #next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go. #they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state #i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go. #like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away. #yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u #to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds #if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing. #my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left #in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself #22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world #i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too #i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like #i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this #situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it #ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming. #at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy #while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday #like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh. #i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare #and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth??? #truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin #when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!! #its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever #mcr #when will mcr return from the war