#i don't like cannabis they're weird

[eddieshellscape]

i'm not adding cannnabis <3

#spinach #spinach appreciation #lettuce #lettuce appreciation #cabbage #cabbage appreciation #leafy greens #i don't like cannabis they're weird #and not a true leafy green #i'm voting spinach hes silly goofy

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Aiden BPD headcanonsssss because my dad is being weird and I feel weird too

(Most of these are based on my experiences living with somebody who has bpd, and maybe myself but we won't talk about that haha)

Tw for all the things bpd tends to cover (self harm, abuse, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation, brief mention of cannabis in a medical context)

-definitely a big source of trauma is his parents basically abandoning him for long stretches of time

-Prone to splitting regarding them. When they're not around its so much easier to be like "Whatever, fuck them, I don't care." But when they *are* around, they're always so affectionate, a lot of "it's not their fault they're busy", "they don't mean it", kind of thoughts...it's okay Aiden, people can still love you even if they treat you badly :/

-y'all know he's self destructive. Yall KNOW. He's been in 7 different go-kart "accidents", once broke his hip trying to impersonate Tony Hawk, and he WILL be crashing his car into a tree after binge drinking.

-Self harms as a form of stimulation sometimes. He just gets SO bored. Usually will slam his head on the nearest hard object or cut himself with his compass.

-has been to a "wellness center" (mental hospital) after an episode where when his parents were on a trip, they returned and found him catatonic on his bed, he hadn't gotten up for almost 8 weeks and his mattress was stained with urine. Not to mention he'd gotten extremely sick after eating only Ramen. Called this a "blip" and hasn't done anything like this again, but only cuz he hated the hospital so much :/

-not really good at managing his anger. He gets pissed off easily (his jaw starts clenching), but has definitely eased off with the yelling and picking a fight with the person. May say some things he may or may not regret later :/ might like kick the wall or smth too-

-his feelings of emptiness and boredom get really exacerbated when he tries to sleep, so he just doesn't sleep until he passes out from exhaustion.

-extremely rare, but if he cries its almost never the appropriate time.

-his favorite person (and I mean this in the bpd way not just the usual way) was Ben, now it's Ashlyn. She asks Ben for advice sometimes on how to understand him better. Is trying to get better, but he just wants all of her attention all the time. He could make a soliloquy of all the things he loves about her. She's the one who pushed him to go back to therapy and told him "hey, I think you have somethinh"

-Weirdly protective but in a hands off way?? Even tho he really doesn't handle himself well? He knows his friends can take care of themselves but it doesn't stop him from running through the worst case scenario. Freaks out if people are late, especially if they're punctual. Also really defensive of them, they do no wrong in his eyes (except when they do :/)

-used to push people away to avoid disappointment or abandonment, especially because they needed to move so much. All his relationships were very superficial. Ghosted people a lot.

-Has chronic pain as an adult because of all the injuries he suffered through as a kid, not to mention his shitty posture. He takes painkillers, but they leave him zoned out and with even worse insomnia so he doesn't take them a lot. Sometimes uses medicinal weed if the pain is really bad. Ash tries to help by rubbing his back, though she says she's not that useful. He always feels better afterwards tho ❤️

-Smokes if he is really stressed, but he's ashamed about it and tries not to do it too much. Picked it up after stealing some of his mom's cigarettes when he was younger.

-his inner voice is extremely negative and he is generally under the impression that everybody hates him. Tries to act like this doesn't bother him and acts like a nuisance because if everybody hates him why even bother filtering his thoughts or actions?

-why were you even born? Who'd love a screw up like you? Your own parents didn't even want you.

-rejection sensitivity and gets really depressed if he's upset one of his friends. Will usually self harm to cope because he think lashing out will make things worse and he just doesn't know what else to do.

-he loves deeply and he's fiercely loyal. He's good with children. He's a wonderful artist. And he is so very incredibly kind. His bpd does not define him as a person.

I don't know if anybody needs to hear this, but, having BPD is not a death sentence. You're not doomed to be a bad person or an abuser, and I say this as somebody who was abused by someone with BPD (my own father). People with BPD are scared, they are struggling, and most of all, they're tired. If you or somebody you care about thinks they're have bpd, try to contact a doctor or specialist and seek professional help.

I'm gonna go cry in the shower now :)

#back with another round of: guess what my dad did! #bonus points if you figure out what *i* did #sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #school bus graveyard #aiden clark #headcanons #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #tw abuse #tw self h@rm #tw substance abuse #is weed still like #controversial in the us? #i have no idea #tw self harm

[germiyahu]

This is the kind of smoothbrained completely untethered from reality shit that only expensive Cannabis can achieve. I really don't know how to address this phenomenon of kids on social media mindlessly regurgitating what they've heard on social media, and it's always "information" that they uncritically absorb as they hear it, with no thought, no interpretation, no investigation, no introspection... they just take everything at face value.

And then they beg the rest of us to explain the supposedly inexplicable, as if you know, asking anyone in good faith who's more informed than you wouldn't give you plenty of answers and plenty of rationalizations. Or hell, just Googling something? What to them seems irrational or, let's be real, an invitation to see conspiracy (are we surprised?) is only because they purposefully refuse to think rationally themselves.

"THIS IS NOT NORMAL!" they scream, when their baseline for normal is what they've been spoonfed by Tiktok influencers talking out of their asses about events that happened before they were born that they never bothered to actually research.

What's not normal is this many young people who just don't engage with the world, or with the news, or with anything past the thinnest razor's edge of the surface level, and then yell at everyone who will listen that there must be something deeper going, usually in overwrought language.

What worries me is that posts like that... I can't even tell if they're from utterly uninformed children or from skillful disinformationists trying to recruit said uninformed children to the Rainbow Heart Qanon, because they know no one is thinking or researching. If you dangle the keys in front of everyone's faces and say "Isn't it weird how the thing you refuse to learn more about in good faith is like, confusing and chaotic and not very transparent? Who do you think is behind this? Who do you think is trying to deceive you?" Well...

Just say the line Bart. Tell us who has a ~disproportionate influence~ on global media and finance. Spare me having to come across your swill on this godforsaken site.

#there is no hope so do with that what you will #I guess these kinds of posts fall under the deliberate helplessness category?

[catbells-and-summerlinens]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by the lovely lovely @agaywithcoffee, @gentlebeardsbarngrill, and @ofmd-ann. Thanks &lt;3

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Not really!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Oh my god, I think I had a few happy tears last week during Boyfriends Mania.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope, maybe someday?

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I was OBSESSED with basketball and specifically women's basketball and played on a girl's league til 6th grade. But, at that point in my life I literally stopped growing at ~5 ft. and couldn't keep playing as all my peers shot up in height lmao.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Honestly, not that often.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

If they seem safe, and interesting to talk to? If they're wearing something cool?

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Blue

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Neither? Psychological thrillers are OK, but nope to actual scary shit. Cannot do gore or much violence. But I also don't enjoy unrealistic happy endings that negate what the characters have been through.

ANY TALENTS?

Hm, I think I'm a really good listener. And also crafting the vibes of a room, in terms of decor and music, etc. Are these even talents??

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

USA

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

...Internet. Just kidding but not really - I love modding and online fandom. Hiking, Skyrim, the occasional craft (bookbinding, collage). Watching weird documentaries with my movie club.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

YES, two gorgeous brother cats that I'm obsessed with.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

As Gillian Anderson would say, "Not very!". But yeah, like 5 ft.

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Music history

DREAM JOB?

A set decorator

I doubt this will be 15 folks, but here goes. No pressure, and let me know if you prefer not to be tagged in this stuff: @mst3ker, @beautitudes, @gntlbrd, @suffersinfandom, @piratecaptainscaptainpirates, @harrylovesspaezle, @peanutbutterex, @mandavee, @veeagainsttheday, @starlithumanity, @cannabis-major

#tag game

[petrichorvoices]

🍎 👠 💥

🍎: what are y'alls favourite foods?

Jon's favourite food is butter chicken and hel was elated when we learned how to cook it. judging by the chanting last thanksgiving i think at least one person here would say its favourite is nalysnyky, something we grew up eating and literally just learned how to spell. i {Cecil} like bacon cheeseburger mac & cheese, cause it's fun. we're all pretty inclined towards sushi, and three cheese pizza pops were our samefood for a good long while

👠: how difficult is it for y'all to agree on one cohesive outfit?

not very tbh. we have a collective fashion sense that we're still refining but generally agree on. this fashion sense is very much influenced by us three hosts {myself {Cecil}, Mim, and Kevin}, and we've been building it for years. it features a LOT of patterned button-ups and aloha shirts from Mim, a lot of layering and "weird" accessories from Kevin, and a lot of jewelry and clashing colours from myself. stuff like black sweatpants comes from previous hosts. the black lipstick comes from me but i got it from my predecessor, so, maybe it's his fault

i know the Mechs are trying to add more steampunk and pirate-y themed clothing to our wardrobe, which the rest of us are on board for. we're planning to go as Jonny for Halloween, one of the reasons for that being that it gives us an excuse to get more of that sort of stuff for our wardrobe. we went to Value Village and let Jonny go hog wild. he got like four belts

i think a big part of this is that while we're individuals, yes, we're also simultaneously a collective, and that can't be ignored/discounted. when it comes down to it, we're a cohesive unit with a collective name, pronouns, orientation, interests, etc, even if that collective identity isn't very cohesive to others

💥: how much in-system fighting is there?

most of our fighting, at least among us fronters, comes as a result of what to buy, or to a lesser extent what to spend our time doing. as a way of working through this since there's so many of us, and because we work better when there's an internal hierarchy, we have a couple fronters who are the de-facto leaders and responsible ones in these sorts of situations

those would be.. Mim, Ashes, and Cogs i think? don't get me wrong, Kevin and i still have some sway as hosts, and Jonny as the leader of the Mechanisms cluster, but when it comes down to being responsible, those three typically take charge. every time we enter a store, Ashes appoints Cogs to be in charge of ensuring that we don't purchase anything unnecessary, as ze tends to have a pretty good grip on the body and doesn't really get swayed by our pleading. ze's suspectible to the pleading of the Ices, though, which is why Mim and Ashes back hir up. Cogs usually takes charge when we need an authoritative voice to tell us what to do, especially when it comes to switching tasks, and Mim typically takes charge when we need a softer voice to get us to take care of ourself

we.. don't really know how Ashes got to be in charge. Mim and Cogs both have authority positions as it's been here for ages and both have extensive experience fronting. plus, Mim is one of our hosts. Ashes, though, just kind of decided that they're in charge, and they're good enough at it that we let them do it. they do have to deal with Gunpowder asking to buy edibles every time we see a cannabis place, or Jon's requests that we go wandering downtown, or-

#ask #polymechs #ask games #long post #rambled more than i intended to but eh. we like talking about ourselfves #Cecil's tag

[c00kietin]

Not available in general stores, but you can get the stuff to make the oil yourself or buy the oil (we get our stuff from a reservation, reservations over here in america don't follow by american laws so they're free to do whatever they want as long as it follows their own laws, including distributing weed) and make the edibles on your own! That's what we do-

I'm not sure how legal weed is over in ireland- I don't live there so it's not like my mom is doing any research on the laws over there, but nonetheless yeah!

If I were to give any advice about making edibles- be very, very careful about the concentration of the oil you're using, and use the oil sparingly because you really do not need much in a batch to get high, the first time mom made edibles she used a little too much oil and we were both absolutely bedridden, we opted to eat as little of those cookies as possible

In short; be responsible and use only like, a single eyedropper's drop of oil at first, adjust to your liking and the amount of batter or whatever you're putting it in later

Is it weird to say I'm mildly concerned about this- ;-;

And I don't think weed or cannabis is legal here- CBD is though I'm pretty sure, and there has been tons of illegal cocaine being brought in too which I saw on the news-

#yea I know I sound like a child right now #and it's probably because I've never been exposed to drugs other than y'know alcohol and medications #but like #I don't know the thought of intaking drugs like weed is kinda worrying for me ;-; #stay safe friend #cw drugs #tw drugs #asks

[vegangirldiaries]

Intro...

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing...

Hi there, I'm 'V' and this is my journal. I plan on writing here as often as I can - whether it's daily, weekly, or monthly, I have no idea. My goal is to just write how I feel, what I'm doing and just to express myself in a healthy manner. Whether that means talking about my feelings, or just writing what I'm thinking and not making any sense... I'm not fully sure yet.

A little bit about myself: I have been vegan for the animals for over a decade. I was raised by traditional Mexican parents who immigrated here in the US in the late 70s. I am 36 years old. I married my high school crush in 2017 after having been together for nine years- is it weird to say that he's still my crush? (love him so much!)

I have experienced grief in the deepest sense, having lost two beloved friends, my mother, and my aunt all within four years' time. My mother's loss was the hardest, being that she passed away a mere three days from my 32nd birthday, after having celebrated my birthday with her in hospice.

I am apparently what is considered a 'Disney adult', having a Magic Key pass, and visiting the park at least once/month.

There are many things I dislike that only my husband agrees with: We don't drink alcohol, smoke or do drugs, and we feel disappointed that all of those things (particularly cannabis) lately are being normalized in every type of media these days. We also don't like that cosmetic surgery is being normalized. We think people have the right to do whatever they want - don't get me wrong, but most people who get lip filler, botox, facelifts, etc. are already beautiful and everyone tends to end up with that same 'kardashian' face when they're through. What a waste of natural beauty. We don't go to the movies anymore - haven't been for at least 12 years. Mostly because we don't like the ambience. Hearing people obnoxiously laugh at a not-so funny joke kinda takes us out of it. We much prefer watching movies in our 85 in. screen tv with surround sound while being cozy in our jammies, where we can pause whenever we need a potty break. It's just more ideal and practical for us. We are also childfree. We both agree that we do not want children, and I am so grateful that we've been on the same page with this since day one.

We do not have too many friends. Just maybe like four or five people we see every so often. When it comes to friendships, we choose quality over quantity. It's difficult to be a good friend to so many people, you can overstretch yourself easily.

I've been asked why I'm vegan, but I'll probably write about that later, since it's kind of a long story.

I've been told my music taste is weird... I hardly listen to anything that came out after 2016...ish? mostly, I like 80s music, and goth bands. Darkwave I think is my favorite genre. but I also listen to musical soundtracks and showtunes. 90s pop and 2000's metal. Souixie and the Banshees and System of a Down + NSync + Britney Spears + Switchblade Symphony + Marilyn Manson + the Singin' in the Rain Soundtrack, as well as some spanish music - no mexican banda but traditional Mariachi. It's an odd combination, but it's definitely me!

When it comes to video games, I love RPG's like Skyrim and ESO. Adventure games like God of War and the Batman Arkham games are top of my list.

Speaking of Batman, I've been obsessed with him since I was about 4 years old with the 90s animated series (RIP Kevin Conroy). Batman was my first crush and also the longest lasting crush to this day aside from my husband of course!

I've always worked in an office setting, but was always so unhappy and felt underappreciated and bored. Last year I quit my job and became a stay at home housewife with my husband's blessing. It's been fun, but the weight gain started, since I've had more time to cook more meals + desserts at home. So, I decided to start a home business of baking vegan sweets, breads, and even selling tamales. It makes just enough for me to have some fun spending money at Disneyland!

My favorite meal to make is a vegan mac n cheeze with spiced roasted potatoes, yum! eating mostly comfort foods which are high and fat, although vegan, can be unhealthy to have all the time, every day. So, I'm trying to get back to eating more veggies. Sounds weird to hear that a vegan isn't eating vegetables, but it happens! So, I'm trying my best to get back to my old habit of healthy eating and working out more. I'm currently at 180lbs and with my height being 5ft 3in, this puts me in the 'obese' category. yikes! I've never been this heavy, and honestly don't FEEL obese, but I really need to get my health back in order.

So is this a diary type journal? tracking my emotions? a weightloss diary? I honestly have no idea. I just get on here and type away, and I'm already feeling a bit lighter. If you have no outlet for your feelings, and keep them bottled in, of course an explosion will eventually happen. And I guess, I'm trying to avoid a mushroom cloud in my tiny house.

To anyone reading this, thanks for taking the time. I hope to write again soon.

Sincerely,

-V

#vegan #emotional #diary #journal #entry #health #food #obese #weight #disney #childfree #housewife #cosmetic #love

[llycaons]

monster baru: notes as of ~halfway through

Dickinson's exploration of topics related to culture, sexuality and colonization is pretty neat to see in a fantasy series. I liked the discussion around cultural relativism, sexual fluidity, and Stakhi gender roles. a white man he may be, but careful and well-researched

I did think it was weird when baru extended sympathy to svir for the discrimination he faced as someone the reader would recognize as white, but ig it does follow the prejudices of the setting to their logical conclusion, and it makes sense that a series so involved in breaking down bioessentialism and misogyny would also challenge assumptions around white supremacy and the idea that white is the default

I kind of dislike that baru has non-sight senses/esp (?) on her blind side. I can't imagine this actually exists, but I suppose DIckinson would know

ulye xe is a GREAT character. her mannerisms and perspective are so cool to get into, and her sense of humor is subtle in a way that rules. also reminds me of lwj, actually, in that sense

I really liked the depressing bath sex scene. it was perfectly appropriate and it made a strong point about baru. also the sex scene itself was really good! hasn't been as graphic as other I've read, but I think the vagueness really works in the scene's favor

the switching POVs is still kind of confusing, but at least they're not doing it in the middle of the chapter anymore. and xy's voice is so strong, and her backstory is insane, I love it. her passion! her outlook! her commitment to the common people! I didn't realize how much she hated the ducal system. but who is XY addressing? 'my friends??'

also antiroyalist XY killing the Duke fucks. WILL THAT BE ALL YOUR GRACE

I picked up on a sense of 'tear down the ducal system' in traitor but it was never explicitly laid out. it certainly doesn't factor in baru's plans

anyway xy's 'side' is so much more complicated than just 'empire or rebel', she's a tactician who sides with the masquerade strategically in order to protect the most powerless of her people.

tain ko is so fucking cool. all the tains are honestly they rule

TAIN SHIR!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! I want her. and to see how she started...oh my god

TS and TK's backstory... 'I am not mastered'. I have chills. star wars WISHES

I love seeing more of oriati society, and the class critique thereof was super compelling.

it's nice that orientalism was so thoroughly avoided (especially compared to the dany chapters I'm forcing myself through 🤮stop talking about ~strange spices~ dany you have lived there for YEARS just eat the fucking locusts) but imo the world seems kind of small (Taranoke, Aurdwynn, Stazhi, Falcrest, Oriati, with some other peoples to the far east and west) - I would love to see more places and peoples. they all feel like vibrant, living, dynamic places that could actually exist

baru's relentless self-reflection is endlessly fascinating. she never stops questioning, either herself or others

unfortunately I still dislike the try tryhard chapter titles. DIckinson got so excited about all the new elements he wanted o incorporate and is trying to do so much at once. it feels overburdened and needlessly complex. like, tighten it up!

many many beautiful women. it continues to astonish and delight me that so many characters just continue to be women

very confused by this passage

I'm going to ask a mutual but the matricide line jut has me so baffled. how are lachta and the tain family related? why would lachta need to kill HIS mother?

it's really neat to see how Falcrest took over a different country. the weapons adapted to the situation of the place they conquer

Stakhi sounds really cool too! I want to go there!. the concept of 'a necessary king' is so neat. they're a people who don't like to be ruled, by anyone

finally I wish they hadn't used to word weed. it sounds silly and modern and informal when stuck into the language of the narration. just say cannabis

baru's crush on lao seemed like it came out of the blue and I was slightly weirded out that they were cousins, but then she clarified second cousins and honestly I met my second cousin this weekend at a family reunion and I think he's kind of hot so I can't even judge

the interrogation island is REALLY neat

I think the oriati concept of trim, and the critique of the princes, is one of the most fascinating and realistic aspect of the worldbuilding. look forward to reading more

#baru lb

[moralesmarkers]

Teen Wolf as things i found in my groupchat

Liam: guyyyyyyys i have to tell u something reeeeeaaaaally important

Stiles, in the same minute: yea

Stiles: i'm here

Stiles: huh

Stiles: wow

Stiles: hello

Stiles: no?

Stiles: ok

Lydia: hey

Allison: hi 🍍

Lydia: nvm

Allison: why 🦘

Lydia: i wanted to ask u something but i remembered the answer to my question while i was typing

Kira: hey do u guys wanna meet up? :))

Lydia: bois

Lydia: boys

Lydia: whatever

Lydia: i'm shopping i can't

Scott: what the fuck

Stiles: bitch i'm cackling

Isaac: wtf is going on

Scott: i got a D- on my chemistry test

Scott: Stiles copied the whole thing off me and got an A

Isaac: now i'm cackling too

Cora: it's period time

Erica: what

Cora: cuz i'm bleeding

Cora: out of my vagina

Erica: does it hurt

Cora: yea

Erica: how much

Cora: QUAGHJGFGHJGHF

Liam: [random picture of his feet]

Kira: i really like your socks

Liam: ikr they're awesome

Allison: i'm hungry

Allison: but i just had sumn avocado

Lydia: aw girl now i want sumn avocado too

Malia, two hours later: i wanna eat a horse

Lydia, on vacation: theres a cannabis shop nexx 2 our hotel

Boyd: Are you already on some of that? Your grammar is weird

Lydia: u can buy hookahs hereeeee

Boyd: Lydia i'm sweating please tell me you aren't smoking cannabis

Kira: how du u politely insult someone

Malia: ur a humanly human

Boyd: that's not polite, that's the heaviest insult known to mankind

Lydia: guys i'm going shopping again what should i buy?

Stiles: b a t h b o m b s

Stiles: t o i l e t p a p e r p e r f u m e

Scott: what the heck is toilet paper perfume

Lydia: i need more ideas

Stiles: d e c o r a t i o n

Stiles: p e n s

Stiles: d e c o r a t i o n p e n s

Scott: Stiles what the FUCK are decoration pens

Stiles: i d k

Stiles: s o u n d s g o o d

Lydia: ok thx babe, please stop doing drugs and sleep instead, have a nice day

Stiles: t h x

Stiles: w i l l d o

Scott: something tells me u won't but alright

Scott: what did you get on your essays guys

Lydia: 98

Scott: what

Scott: how

Scott: Stiles you better have a low grade or else i'll kick u

Stiles: i have 105

Lydia: how in the fuck did you get a 105

Liam: what was your essay about

Lydia: we had to write an instructional essay about a mathematical concept we used this year

Lydia: preferably the quadratic formula

Stiles: i wrote 5 paragraphs on how to add single digit numbers

Stiles: 105 for creativity and accuracy

Lydia: youve gotta b kidding me rn

Stiles: i got the idea off a tumblr post

Lydia: i think im having a stroke

Erica: fuck off i don't wanna do school work in quarantine i've got enough to do already

Cora: wtf u doing we're literally quarantined

Erica: sleeping

Erica: bitch

Stiles at three am: W H AT 'S JE S U S C R IM I N AL R E CO RD

Derek: ffs stiles its 3 am go to sleep

Cora: why does my perfume have more curves than i do

Erica: why does the pineapple have more joy in life than i do

Stiles: why does everybody have more talents better mental health and prettier faces than i do

Liam: Stiles

Liam: are you ok?

Stiles: yeah totally anyways guys what are we doing today

Erica, completely out of nowhere: I HATE THIS FUCKING BITCH

Cora: big mood

Kira: hiii guys does anyone want to videochat?? :)

Allison: i have to take a shit later maybe

Kira: oh

Kira: ok

Erica: w h e e z e

Cora: guys i'm feeling down can anyone call me

Kira: yup hun i'm here

Allison: i'm pooping but alas

Cora: no Allison i don't want to talk to you while you're taking a shit

Cora: but thx

Allison: ... you're welcome

Kira: the smolest house in europe is 57 centimetres smol

Stiles: don't know where i'm gonna need this information but i'm pretty sure i will someday so thank u babe

Kira: uwu

Theo: fuck off how does charli damelio have 6 million likes on a tiktok of her drinking a slurpee and i can't even get thirty likes on a text post she's such a stupid whore

Stiles: thats because you're untalented, ugly and unsympathetic as fuck and nobody likes you

Stiles: including me

Stiles: get the fuck off our group chat you heinous jealous slug

Liam: slowclapinthedistance

Kira: guys what do you think of the drama bryce hall got into yesterday

Isaac: nothing

Scott: i'm a potato

Stiles: who the fuck is bryce hall

Kira:

Kira: the holy trinity

Derek: okay, so we're meeting at my house at two o'clock. possibly/most definitely without scott, because he's not reading or answering any texts.

Stiles, twenty minutes later: i found a wild scott ima drag its ass to dereks now

Theo: idk i don't feel good lately

Theo: like i'm just mentally not alright and i feel down all the time

Stiles: HAHHAHAHAHAHA

Stiles: I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I READ ALL WEEK

Stiles: ssshhhh erica

Erica: what

Stiles: do u want crack

Derek: Stiles for fucks sake stop trying to get Erica to do drugs with you

Erica: yes

Derek: wait

Stiles: YES

Derek: NO FUCK

Scott: that's it

Scott: theo ima throw u out of our friend group u are toxic asf

Scott: stiles i'm gonna put you into therapy

Stiles: AHAHHAHHAHAHA LIKE I'M ANYWHERE NEAR RICH ENOUGH TO AFFORD THAT

Stiles: BITCH

Stiles: MY THERAPY IS CHEAP MARIHUANA

Liam: i'm gonna go to sleep now good night everyone

Theo: have nice dreams

Theo: about murder

Allison: i really want to go shopping anyone down??

Lydia: YES

Lydia: that's the spirit sis

[mamacleo]

There is a Queendom. There is a Queen.

I want to say something important. It explains things. It explains my intensity. This has nothing to do with the day to day rollercoasters. This is the big pattern. I don't think anyone else out there goes through this. Honestly, truly, I think i am alone. My situation is unique. It's so sweet and so tart. It's bitter, too.

Summer is ascendant at the same time the progesterone effect has grown to an astounding warmth. (I also have the blessing of cannabis. Essential to know.) At the same time the summer mood is ascendant, I have at last become in my heart the woman I am. I have learned to say "for now," but I hope it sticks around. I really do.

Because I now believe I am tied in with the seasons in a much deeper, much more intricate way. I am being shaped by the spirits and goddesses, and at this moment, everything is--my favorite word--consonant.

Everything agrees. I would think of myself at the same time as the word "woman," and feel a pang of doubt. Even though I have felt gender euphoria, it hits you. Now, I think of myself, an image of myself, and I think the word "woman," and my heart feels something new. It's a yearning. It's a love. It's a wholeness. It has a name, and that name is Claochlú Ruby Nich Murchadh (as of the handfasting). Everything is finally right.

For now.

Because two things. Because seasons. Because memory.

Because I am trapped in an annual cycle that seems beyond my capacity to break. Because the summer brings joy and bliss and comfort and relief and content. And the fall brings the winter terrors. I changed the name. That's what they are. They're terrors. Every year is new.

And, see, I see it coming. I can't not see it. It's in my nature. Please, no advice. I have worked at this with power and diligence for all my adult life without being able to break it. All I can do is endure it. I can't avoid it. All I can do is warn people.

Funny this now comes to me, but in barbecue terms, it's the silverskin. It's the connective tissue, that thin membrane of tough silvery stuff that turns leathery if it's not removed. Except this girl has been barbecued for forty years and that silverskin was never removed. It's there for good. Bolted down for life.

But for now, the days are long. The leaves are out. The sun comes out enough for the moment to give us the promise of a sweet season. My nature turns sweeter, more stable, more joyous, more adoring, more enthusiastic, more generous, more devoted, more energetic. Happier. And I get to have this beautiful, wonderful state until October. Every moment I live in this state, I want to capture forever. I get to be the best of who I am almost all the time. This time is so special, I try to let every moment take my breath away.

Because here's what makes this really ironic. Mom can't remember things.

Decades had to pass before I learned that the reasons I have a severely crappy memory aren't because of what I figured they were, but are a result of severe trauma. I didn't know how severe until my wife saw it. Knowing that doesn't help me recover the memories. I've tried every trick I can imagine. They're either buried or obliterated. I brainwashed myself so I wouldn't have to cope with them.

(FICKLE FINGER OF FATE MOMENT: at this moment, my music service has chosen to play Billy Joel's "Pressure.")

And that means I don't have continuous memories of anything. I can't remember conversations. I can't remember events on any scale. I have a good visual memory. I have a weird head for trivia. I have a good memory of things as they occur on a wide scale, but not personally. I remember emotions and the things attached that caused them. All my personal memories are snapshots, sound clips. Animated GIFs. All my memories are like that. It's the only way I remember now.

And that means that no matter how blessed this coming summer is, I won't remember it.

Not all of it. I'll remember it in snapshots. There'll be markers, points in time to remember. Some things burn into your memory forever. But no matter how I try, no matter how hard I look at that sunset, I won't remember it. The wind will bring me warm joy, and I'll remember how it felt, but never the moment. I'll know that moment existed because I remember the emotion from it, but the memory itself is gone.

Every moment, then, I am aware of those two things. They are the silverskin that stayed on while I walked through fire. I am aware that no matter how hard I want it not to be, I won't remember things no matter what they meant. I won't remember my hand on her cheek. I won't remember sitting under dappled skies. I won't remember the moments my bare feet were in the puddle. I'll remember the sensation. I'll remember that it happened. Maybe I'll remember other senses. But the moment itself is gone.

No matter how beautiful the moment is, I can't guarantee I'll remember it. Some I will. Maybe ten percent. Ten patchy percent. The rest is gone. Just gone. And that is what I have to clutch to so I can endure the coming winter.

There is never a waking moment I do not know this.

("Time in a Bottle.")

And that is why I am the way I am.

Alone.

#transgender #trans #trans woman #mental health #mental illness #for your sake i love the rain #bipolar #borderline #borderline personality problems #borderline depression #cluster b #autism

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Tell me 10 things that are illegal in Jupiter

Uh, so up to a certain number of weed plants, multiple counts of possession for the purpose of trafficking, and certain crimes that are punishable by up to 15 years in prison are illegal everywhere, so I'll skip to the first one.

I totally forgot about this one (and then thought "oh no this is for the universe" and looked it up)

Cannabis is still illegal. Even if you're just growing a few plants to consume recreationally, growing more than that is still illegal unless you have a license. Strangely enough, this would only apply to any crops grown to make hash oil (although, there's no reason that would include sugar beets); retail sales of hash oil are probably fine.

This is in direct contrast to the situation in the state of California, where it's legal to self-medicate with cannabis if you have a doctor's note. If you're aged 14-18 you can get one, too. (Note that this law applies only to patients who have a epidiolex prescription - see here.)

If it's not clear, this isn't really a commentary on my opinions about the legality of marijuana or about people's right to do anything with it – I basically don't care about that kind of thing. (My limited knowledge of Brazilian politics tells me this probably has something to do with the fact that Brazil is the largest non-US source of illegal migrants to the US.)

The point of this post was the title, "10 Things Illegal in Jupiter." You come up with other titles before continuing. (My favorites, in order of least to most likely to make you chuckle, are "literally illegal" and "concealed weapon and police proficiency.")

For the record, that's going to make some of you really weirded out – I'm calling it illegal in Jupiter because I don't want it to become a popular phrase, but what I'm actually doing is describing the general rule about criminalization. I am saying, "these things are illegal in Jupiter." That doesn't mean that you can do them, or that they're legal where you live, which has some relation to their legality where you live.

#imsobadatnicknames