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kledface · 2 months

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Idk i guess i should consider an intro post or something?

Name:

Hi, im kledface, but you can call me kled. No, i have no association with league of legends and have been entirely turned off from playing it due to people asking if my name is because of the character. There is an origin story though!

Content:

I like sharing cute animals, pretty things, memes, and trans shit, cause i am a trans shit, people should be nicer/more normal about trans folks, especially those who are trans-fem and gender nonconforming. I also enjoy sharing art, both my own and others, because art is amazing. Sometimes i will post my weird little rambles here. Sometimes theyre serious, sometimes theyre just pissing in the wind. Life is full of wonder or some schist idk

Identity:

Im trans, genderfaun, my pronouns do change sometimes, but for the most part, he, they, and it are all fine for me. Go ahead and dabble in neos if you want, im not 100% sure what works and what doesnt there. Im also kinda coming to terms with being demi-aroace, or demian. This is a newer label for me, but i think its the right one. Im a pretty proud furry, and also an otherkin; hi, dragon speaking. My fursona is a dragon, but i have plenty of characters; some are even not dragons! I love dragons more than anything. I am mentally ill, with severe depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and a very troubled past that has caused splitting, and most likely either ADHD, autistic, or both, but nothing is confirmed yet besides being dyslexic. Currently am 19, though on the kalends of april i will be 20. This makes me nervous. I do not enjoy celebrating my birthday.

Likes and dislikes:

I love dragons, pineapple, rain and snow, fire, lightning, warhammers, birds, cats, the colours orange and blue, food, flowers, shiny rocks, dnd, mtg, drawing, reading, video games, a wide variety of music, the forest, and helping others, especially those im closer to. I hate conspiracy theories, aliens, bell pepper, chartreuse, intense heat, being short, bigots, and being treated like a demon. Some of these things are because of my past, others are just general hates

Personality:

Because of the splitting, sometimes its not just one person talking; there are eleven of us with different personalities. I, as the host, am the person you are most likely to catch though. I like to consider myself fun loving, though protective. Compassionate and easily scared. Some of us are much more grumpy, and cynical, while others are literal children. Please have patience with us, we are trying.

Other socials:

I do have some other platforms. This is the one im on second most often.

Discord: kledface [active]

Instagram: kartoffelzauberer [semi-active]

Twitter: kledface [inactive]

I have a reddit but i dont remember it

Technically i can invest in others but i dont really want to unless i have to, and there are some i havent listed but dont even worry about those, i dont want to be found

DNI:

Listen. Im a generally accepting person. But some people arent welcome here. No homophobes or transphobes, no terfs, no racists, no xenophobes, no ablists, no sexists, no ageists; If you hate someone for a fundamental aspect of their being, get the fuck out. Also, no anti-furs. This isnt the same, cause its more of a fandom thing, but if you hate someone for their fandom, i dont want to hear about it. Leave. Bye felicia. I will likely block you if you are a pro-shipper, because ew. And if you are any kind of pedophile, zoophile, or rapist, i would hunt you down and kill you myself if i could, i don't care how you excuse yourself, youre a disgraceful piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live, literally kill yourself. I hate saying and hearing that, but youre the kind of person who deserves it.

Finale:

I think that's it. Hit me up if you have questions or wanna talk, my askbox and messages are open. Thank you for coming to my KLEDtalk

[Kountenance, Lecturing, Education, Dick]

#dragon #dagin #furry #artists on tumblr #intro post #introductory post #blog intro #introduction #queer #demi aroace #genderfaun #kledface yells #kledface

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deepfriedseagullfeet · 2 years

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To brighten things up for your boys, what would be their IDEAL happiest day in the world? What would be the day they look back on to feel warm and soft any time they need comfort? :D (yes even Anti even though his will definitely be fucked up lol)

ooo i really like this question!! but im not sure how to answer because i feel like good days aren't planned, they just sorta happen! so heres a quick list of days that the boys have had that were special:

jackie went to a carnival with his parents as a teen, before his father passed and before the schizophrenia really set in. he played laser tag with his dad and scared the shit out of his mom by rocking the cart on the ferris wheel haha. tbh it wasnt fancy or big, but its something jackie looks back on fondly, especially when he wants to think of better times

marvin's first performance! they were still kinda an awkward kid who didnt know who they were or who they wanted to be, but after their mentor trained them on how to properly use their magic, they ended up becoming a performer with a big theater and they did a magic show! it was very nerve-wracking but everyone was raving at how cool their stunts were, and they got a huge burst of pride and confidence from that day

this is gonna sound lame, but probably when henrik got married :') at the time and for years to come, his wife was really the light of his life; she was so smart and witty and never ceased to fascinate him. it really was a perfect day where nothing really went wrong, just the two of them professing their love and eating way too much cake and drinking way too much wine and spending time with family and friends :)

the day anti met jameson was literally the best day of that parasites entire miserable life. like, he had nothing. no one to love him or care for him, no home, no stability, not even the courage to take jack's body. but then jack made him a present, something he's never received, and it was the best thing that was ever given to him. the moment anti laid eyes on jameson, he was in love and he finally had something to hold onto.

its hard to say for chase, he's had a rough life. but theres so many little moments from when he met jackie and henrik, moments where he was shown care and love despite feeling like a complete fuckup. i guess a good day would be the day he decided to quit drinking. he was getting to a point where he didnt want to hurt his family anymore, and even though it was really hard, he wanted to try, for people who actually not only gave a shit about him, but loved him to bits and pieces. that day set off a chain reaction of progress and healing for chase, and even to this day jackie tells chase how proud of him he is for taking that step

its hard to say for jameson as well. i think in the past, he would look to the days when he and anti were in their honeymoon phase, where anti was kind and loving and charming and wouldn't dream of hurting jameson. he loves that version of anti more than anything and looks back on those times when hes suffering and wants to excuse what anti does to him. i think nowadays however, he thinks less and less about anti and more and more about the new friends he's made. the dumb game nights, the late night bonfires, the movies they argue over watching, the hugs and i love you's they share. not to be too corny, but i think if jameson had to pic a singe day, it would be when he let his heart go soft once again and told henrik he loved him, and they kissed in the snow and jameson wasnt afraid.

#under a cut cause this got a bit long #but yesss despite hard times they do have plenty of good memories #i think its important to know that things get better for everyone day after day #and they make new memories together and find joy in each other :)#idk. big fan of a group of sad friends that turns into found family lol #ask #ego posting

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themagnificentartofshipping · 6 years

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Im planning on rewatching Once Upon a Time, mostly to watch Emma and Hook fall in love again. Also just to help me realize when exactly I stopped liking certain characters and what has changed in the way i see things now with the series being basically completely over and it being a few years. I might make posts about it, I’m not sure. I’m going to on this, have the opinions i have now prior to rewatching. That will be under the cut because you might not care and some of it is reference for me.

Season 1:Its a great opening for the show. I really enjoyed Regina as the villain and her and Emma’s antagonistic dynamic was great. Emma learning about Henry and their blossoming relationship was the cutest and so great. I also loved the friendship between Emma and Mary Margaret. Had some great quotes. Loved the introduction to the characters and how they are connected to each other. I WILL NEVER GET OVER GRAHAM’S DEATH!!!! It hurt me so much and Regina’s reasoning for killing him was such bullshit. The curse breaking was pretty great. The duality between the Enchanted Forest stories and the Storybrooke ones was very well done and well balanced which i missed in later seasons.

Season 2: I loved this season mostly cause we meet Hook but also because it just continues the storyline nicely. Seeing everyone deal with the aftermath of the curse breaking was good. Emma and the Charmings awkwardly trying to figure out how to do the family thing was endearing. I still liked Regina’s character, the conflict she had in this season made sense and I liked it. Cora was very interesting in this season. Seeing Rumple’s actual reason for using the curse(finding his son) was nice. I got to see more Bae which I liked. Backstory and flashbacks were used well. Seeing Emma’s past was great. The addition of characters in this season felt organic and just fit really well. And Mulan is a queen, i love her so much. Emma being in the enchanted forest. Great set up for the next season and Neverland. I love Belle so seeing more of her was great. I also enjoy the development Hook has from his introduction til the end of this season and his willing to give up revenge to save Henry/help Emma. As much as I hate Neal, I think his addition to this season was necessary to Emma’s storyline as well as Rumple’s and even Hook’s to a degree. So even though he sucks, his character was able to show us different sides and dynamics of other characters that I thought was important. Even though I wish certain things involving him were handled in better ways.

Season 3: This is my favourite season. Both 3A and 3B are amazing. Neverland is great, Everyone trying to work together to save Henry is great. Sassy Hook and Sassy Regina, amazing. Emma taking charge is great. Hook’s belief in Emma. More of Hook’s backstory. That fucking kiss. Hook’s secret. Emma using her magic. Meeting Tink. “I hoping you were dead” Peter Pan was a cool villain. Regina and Rumple’s evil shit not meshing with the Charmings. Hook saving David. Neverland was kind of my life. I’m gonna say it is around the time that I start to have some issues with Snow. I also didnt love that both David and Snow were pushing Emma towards Neal but, I believe they likely didnt know the whole story. Rumple killing himself to kill Pan was fucking epic. Pan being in Henry’s body was a boss twist. Emma and Hook’s goodbye. Mulan being into women, yay!! Her heart being broken boo!!! Belle and Ariel teaming up was chill, I think this season had Belle’s hero flashback and that was great, but I honestly don’t remember when that happened. 3B was amazing. Hook believing Emma was his true love, him going to find her. Zelena was a good villain. Also the Cora flashback was fucking crazy. Neal was an idiot in this season but, whatever. Hook and Henry bonding. Hook’s regret for what he did to Belle and Ariel. Regina and Tink flashback was into it. Outlaw Queen loved. Liked that David and Snow had another baby, didnt like the name. Regina suddenly getting light magic was weird and not totally into. Loved Zelena/Regina showdowns though. The finale was the greatest thing ever. Like everything about it was great. “Someday I’ll stop chasing this woman” “I’d go to the end of the world for her, or time” “We both know i’m his type” Past!hook scene. When they kidnap Marion. When Emma deprived Hook of his dashing rescue. The ball!!! Watching Emma watch her parents meet. David and Hook’s talk. “You traded your ship for me?” “Aye” That fucking kiss!!! Rumple and Belle’s vows were amazing even though there wedding upset me. Like I was really pissed cause this mofo was lying to her again. Regina not getting to be happy w/ Robin sucked but, her bitching to Emma about it was trash. And i forget about how adorable Roland is.

Season 4: I like 4A like alot actually. I know a lot of people aren’t a fan of the frozen arc, but I like it. I love Elsa in this. She has a really great friendship with Emma and I like that their friendship isn't over complicated with connections to her family. Elsa also helps Emma accept her magic which I love and she understands that part of Emma in way no one else does. I kind of wish Elsa could have been on longer so Emma could continue to have her own friendships. I enjoy Emma trying to learn how to control her magic. I dont love Ingrid as a villain but I like her backstory well enough and I like how her involvement gives us a look into Emma’s past/childhood. Killian and Emma trying to have a relationship after the whole epic kiss thing is nice. There date is amazeballs. They are like really in love and become committed to making it work through this season and I love that. I’m not a huge fan of Snow through either half of this season, I felt like she was the person who saw the worst in Emma both presently and in the past. I find it really telling that in 4B we see that she is the one to see the vision of evil!Emma. I think this is the season I stop liking Regina cause her angst is kind of dumb and she’s very pity me about it. I love Belle at the end of 4A when she sends Rumple away, I think it is a very empowering moment where she stands up for herself and is able to stand up to her abuser. I like how 4A has a nice intro to Lily through the things we’ve seen of Emma’s past. 4B I liked significantly less then 4A. The season really putting Snowing in a bad light particularly Snow and I believe it definitely highlights the fact that David’s relationship with Emma is closer and healthier then the one Snow has with Emma. The fact that they gave Emma potential for darkness to another kid is super fucked up. I actually find this whole concept kind of dumb, like I don’t think it was a good storyline, it just dumb. Killian trying to make amends with Belle and succeeding til the point that they are friends is great. Rumple scheming to get Belle back is awful. I find Operation Mongoose pretty awful like I feel that Regina blaming the universe for her not getting a happy ending with Robin is dumb. I think that this idea that a villain can’t get a happy ending might be true when you are still a villain but it isn’t true if you are a reformed villain case in point being Killian his relationship with Emma is great this season and he is an actually villain who has and continued to have a really good redemption arc. So the fact that Regina isnt getting a happy ending and her line of thought is along the lines of the actual villains of this season proves she hasnt had a real redemption arc no matter what the characters in universe seem to believe. I do like Maleficent and Regina friendship. Cruella being a villain with no tragic backstory was refreshing. The introduction of the author was cool. Zelena pretending to be Marion was so fucked up and the fact that she got pregnant means that Robin was sexually assaulted(he consented to sleeping with Marion, not Zelena). I liked Lily being involved but I hate that she was never mentioned again. Henry become the author was pretty great. I really liked how the apprentice was all over this season leading to Merlin's involvement next season. Emma sacrifice herself was an intense moment.

Season 5A: I didnt like this season, I believe it was an okay idea but executed poorly. I loved Merlin and liked Camelot and evil!King Arthur was interesting. Violet and Henry were cute and I loved seeing Henry’s first relationship. Emma and Hook’s thoughts on a future together were nice. Getting to see Mulan and Ruby again was great. I thought Merida came out of nowhere and i didn’t think she had a reason to be there so, I didn't love her. Belle giving Rumple another chance upset me. Emma made grave errors in judgement but she did do everything for love, so I felt conflicted. Dark hook was sort of entertaining. Emma killing Killian was heartbreaking.Her threatening Gold was badass. Gold lying to Belle again was fucking annoying. Emma going to the underworld to save her mans was great.

Season 5B: I have issues with this Arc on many levels. One being I like greek mythology and because of that I hate when Hades is portrayed as like super evil when he’s really not, he’s stern and stubborn but not evil. He tends not to actually torture people there are other people in the underworld to do that and that only really happens in Tartarus where only the worst of the worst go and though he implements punishments he tends not to be the one who created them, that tends to be the gods that the people in Tartarus actually messed with. So they vastly misrepresented him and I was not a fan of that. And as cute as Zelena and Hades might have been Hades is married and is the only god who doesnt really cheat on his wife so I’m not overtly a fan of that. If we discard everything that is wrong about Hades and the underworld there are other issues I have with this season. Regina is just pretty awful in this season. She tries to force Robin to forgive Zelena as well as let her see his kid when this woman raped him. She also treats Emma like crap like she’s a super hypocrite, the way Regina treats Emma when Hook dies and the way she expects Emma to treat her after Robin dies is ridiculous. Robin’s death is also fucking awful. And Regina blaming Zelena pisses me off but whatever. I thought Liam was kind of dick. And Rumple was even more garbage then I expected. I loved getting to see Milah and I found the flashbacks really good. I enjoy that even with Rumple trying to cause Milah and Emma to hate each other they didn’t. I’m really pissed that Rumple made it impossible for Milah to move on. I wish there was more Milah. Seeing James was fun, like it was hilarious. Cruella and James as a couple was pretty great. Emma and Killian being confirmed true love was amazing. OTP of the gods!!! Emma’s family was very supportive of her. Ruby and Mulan being in an episode was nice and I liked that we had a true love kiss between two women but I would have loved for the first LGBTQ couple on the show to have Mulan be apart of it because I want her to have love so bad. Also I’d rather it be two characters I care about then One character I care about ,Ruby and a character that we barely know, Dorothy. Henry trying to destroy magic was dumb, I understand why he tried, it was just misguided though. He also needs to stop hero worshipping Neal. King Arthur running the underworld is boss. I don’t remember much from the finale other then the destroy magic thing and i know that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was introduced.

Season 6: Wasnt great. I liked Emma and Hook moving in together and the wedding. The musical episode was good. Belle choosing to leave Rumple and having the support of her friends specifically Killian was very moving and empowering. It felt like she was finally done with Rumple which was great and why her getting back with Rumple at the end of the season was so heartbreaking for me. Hyde actually being the good one was cool. Regina using the serum was awful and stupid and I hated it, it was just her trying to take the easy way out of redemption. The wish universe was awful and truthfully nothing in it actually made sense like the timeline has to have totally change for Emma to have met Neal in a universe where the curse didn't occur. Wish!Robin ending up with the Evil half of Regina was ironic and hilarious. The flashbacks were used a lot to add unnecessary drama particular the Hook ones. I found the black fairy to be a let down in terms of villains, especially after basically having the evil queen as the villain. She was also basically Rumple and Regina as one villain but with a lot less character depth to make me care in anyway. Rumple being a saviour was awful and didn't make sense. Belle not getting to raise Gideon sucked. Gideon over all was annoying and I think the writers wanted me to sympathize with him and I just didn't. All the added characters happened way too fast and there was just a bunch of characters that were forgotten.

#once upon a time #my thoughts on the seasons minus 7 #anti rumple #anti regina #i guess anti snow but im not sure #Captain Swan #gonna rewatch #this is really long #I dont expect anyone to read #might not make total sense #anti rumbelle

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

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7 Anti LO Asks

1. ok, tell me if im wrong here, but i physically cannot find lo hades attractive because he just looks like a tumblr sexy man version of snow miser from those old stop animated christmas movies. like theyre literally the same 😭

2. I absolutely hate how everyone is making Persephone to be this bubbly little girl who is way too nice, and in LO’s case it’s the worst. Sure Persephone is associated with spring, but spring isn’t only flowers and happiness. Spring brings aprils rain, burning sun, in some places it’s hunting season, and animals which were hibernating wake up and go and hunt other animals and you know, kill them and eat them. Spring is uncontrollable weather, one moment it’s warm a couple of minutes later it’s cold again. Today is sunny tomorrow there’s a storm. Associating Persephone only with the good parts of spring makes her a weak and one dimensional character, especially since she is also knows as queen of the underworld. Spring brings as much death as it brings life. It is not a cutesy season and associating Persephone with it and just making it this cartoonish is a dumb move. In some panels Hades talks about how there were some moments where spring seemed much more wild and uncontrollable, since Persephone was the one doing the work. Why can’t we see that in LO? If Persephone is spring why isn’t she wild and uncontrollable as well? This part of Persephone should have been written from the beginning, instead of seeing a little melancholic girl who can’t say no to people.

3. LO could have beee more creative with the modern timeline tbh. Poseidon could have been like a Steve Irwin type with a sea-life tv show. Zeus could have been a fantasy version of a Prime Minister. Hera could be a socialite. Apollo could have been the leader of a band (the muses are his background sisters/musicians), i could go on. LO just went "uh, they all have vague businesses and cell phones" and that's it. Oh also they video tapes, you know a thing no one has used since 1997.

4. I just remembered that in a chapter when Hades and Persephone were talking, Hades told her how she seemed sad at the olympus party? And it doesn’t really make sense bc why would she be sad? She got the freedom she wanted, she’s going to a party without her overbearing mother, she’s with a friend? And since she’s so friendly and bubbly wouldn’t she be able to make friends straight away? She knew Artemis, Hera and i’m guessing Hestia and Athena must have been there as well. Was it so hard for her to just move around and see who she knew? And then we have creepy Hades who is like “you seemed sad, like me, at that party 🥰🥰” like??? Just bc you are sad and don’t like your life why the hell do you think other people are too?

5. I don’t understand why every sheltered character (usually if not always female) is always like “uwu I’m innocent and don’t know about the bad things in the world! I act shy at first but in reality I’m open and extroverted!” I mean some people who were sheltered are like that and and there’s nothing wrong with it but it’s never deconstructed or seen as creepy in stories like LO (i.e. naive young person x powerful older person power imbalance) why can’t we have a “I struggle to properly communicate informally with people my age and it affects me deeply, I’m cold and distant but I feel lonely at the same time, I’m outcasted for my interests because I‘ve been closed off from the world” type? A story about them developing relationships and getting some character development whilst still being introverted would be interesting, but I guess when you have female characters like that they can’t be sympathetic /s

6. I think Rachel shot herself in the foot when it comes to Persephone's act of wrath and the stans are basically fixing her mistake in their mind. If stans really wanted to pull the "she's a god, gods just do those kinds of things nbd"-card, Rachel should've actually made it no big deal. Instead, she put in place that gods cannot just kill mortals willy-nilly. Eros was going to be reprimanded for his Heartbreak Act of Wrath, but basically got saved by Zeus' General Horniness because, well... Zeus I guess? 🤷‍♀️ But the rules are there. If it's not okay for Eros, why would it be okay for Persephone? I low-key hate that I'm agreeing with Zeus the hypocrite here, but he is right: Hades (and the stans) are biased.

7. I'm only partially sarcastic when I say that I am low-key jealous of Rachel. I don't think I would be getting away with such an inconsistent art style- and I do mean in every way possible, she literally admitted on Twitter and I quote: "my drawing style is inconsistent, but I think that's part of the charm? Being flexible is what allows me to stay engaged with projects I've been doing for years now".

Don't get me wrong, there's an art style improving over time, heck there is a creator realizing a certain art style just doesn't work well on the long run and -TELLING THEIR FANS- it will change from the pilot chapter on, but then there's.... whatever Rachel is doing. Seeing how much the crew of Steven Universe got shat on for having inconsistencies while two animation studios were working on it just makes me wonder why Rachel doesn't seem to get that bs from her stans. At least Steven Universe has character sheets....

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical #anti lo art

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sebastianshaw · 3 years

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@pryde-of-the-x-men- Sorry this took all day! I basically passed out after work. The issue was in the 1998 “Magneto” miniseries that actually starred Joseph. It was probably #3 or #4, but the whole thing is worth reading (despite the abominable art) for awful Fabian content. We’ve got: - Fabian’s first panel in it features him LEVITATING AND SPARKLING. Neither of these things are in his power set. - The first thing he does is creep on a woman - He claims to this woman that he has super duper changed his ways and is now as pure as snow. He literally compares himself to the snow surrounding the base. Seriously. - Two issues later, he then tries to force her to be in his would-be harem (as he announces his plans for such) - SHE BEATS HIM UNCONSCIOUS. THREE PEOPLE SEE IT. NO ONE QUESTIONS WHY. THEY JUST (CORRECTLY) ASSUME HE DESERVED IT. - So he’s all HI IM UR NEW BESTIE to Joseph, teaching him how to be Magneto, etc. That’s when the Acolytes burst in, attack him, and tell “Magneto” all about how Fabian is the dude who MURDERED HIM. Joseph is like SO DID YOU JUST CONVENIENTLY FORGET THIS HMM and Fabian gives this heartfelt speech about how “I have done heinous things, and I can’t pretend those things never happened” even though that is EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING before getting caught. JOSEPH FUCKING BUYS IT. - Three Acolytes FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER over WHO GETS TO KILL FABIAN - “But we must both be brave. We have other people to think of.” FABIAN CLAIMING HE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE LOL - He claims to Exodus that the woman, Amelia, is the liar and manipulator and iirc, I think Exodus buys it. I think Exy just. . . .forgot that he could read minds through this whole thing. . . because this would have been over so much faster if he had. . . or maybe he just doesn’t want to be in Fabian’s brain. - The introduction of Orator, an Acolyte who can detect lies. Funnily enough, after Fabian’s return, we never see him again. I wonder what happened. - FABIAN LIES TO A BIRD. Not a shapeshifter. Not a sentient bird. Not even someone’s pet. Just. . . .a random wild bird. It’s just him and the bird and he talks to it about how REALLY, I’VE CHANGED, I JUST WANT PEACE BETWEEN MUTANTS AND FLATSCANS NOW because using an anti-human slur REALLY sells how sincere he is. And then he assures the bird “I’m being sincere” HE IS NOT ONLY LYING TO A BIRD, HE IS LYING TO THE BIRD ABOUT LYING TO IT!!! To be fair, he did get busted in the past because someone walked in on him having a Villainous Conversation with another character, so maybe he was just counting that some hero was spying on him (which they were not) but…yeah, Fabian just lies to birds I guess. - And finally, ok, so, Fabian wants Exodus and Joseph to fight and destroy each other so he can take over the Acolytes, because I’m SURE they’ll just accept him again. To do this, he has to get Joseph to believe he is Magneto, and Exodus to be sure he is an imposter. To do this, he tells Joseph that Magneto and Amelia Voght were in love so it will look MEGA SUSPCIOUS to everyone if Magneto doesn’t show her affection. This was of course, not the case, so when Joseph kisses Magneto, it indeed makes Exodus think that this is NOT Magneto. EXODUS HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES. AND EXODUS IS NOT IN LOVE WITH AMELIA IN THE SLIGHTEST, SO. . . . - - At the end, they put him in a prison, then return to find there’s just a big hole in the wall like a fucking Looney Toons skit. FABIAN, HOW DID YOU EVEN?! They debate going after him, but Joseph says “even Cortez couldn’t survive” out there in the snow. Meaning he first acknowledges that FABIAN IS A FUCKING COCKROACH (the “even” bit) and secondly confirming that EVEN JOSEPH, A MUCH NICER DUDE THAN THE REAL MAGNETO, DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT FABIAN DYING Veering it back to Exodus, YES HE WAS DEFINITELY IN LOVE WITH EOBAR. And remember when Magneto was in the coma and Exodus was taking care of him? Magneto had on a robe and slippers, Exodus was DRESSING him, and the fact he gave him SLIPPERS means that he wanted Magneto to be ready to get up and walk at any given time ;-; Exodus claims Magneto speaks to him telepathically, but. . . I don’t believe that. But I believe Exodus believed it. And he gets SO MAD when the other Acolytes come and look at Magneto in his current state. I just. . .Exodus ;A; Also remember a few years ago with Cullen Bunn’s run where he fights Magneto and Magneto puts him in a coma (Exodus’s default state lol) and it’s implied Magneto LET him win? And then Exodus comes back and brings Elixir to come heal him even though he knows Magneto won’t rejoin him? IM SO GLAD I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH BECAUSE IT IS SO THERE!!

#exodus #paris bennet #bennet du paris #fabian cortez #magneto miniseries #out of shirt #ALSO YOUR FABIAN PLAYLIST IS SO MUCH FUN OMG

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readingaccountability · 3 years

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snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

#bookblr #book tag #snow crash #neal stephenson #reading progress update #book review #cyberpunk #post-cyberpunk #god this is long #kind of ended up being book report esque... elementary school vibes. i fucking love it ngl #original post #playlist series

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sootcloak · 4 years

Text

Crow’s Shadow: Carrion Circle

Second part of a short serial installment I’m working on as a general exercise on plotting, editing and the like. You can find the other parts linked here - {Part One: Repair Required} - I’ll add the last link once Part Three is up. Same spoiler warnings as Part One apply. Same general content warnings apply.

~2400 words, featuring Hilda the Mongrel and Rostnthal the Reborn. Centered around a tense cross country trip, and the looming specter of a dangerous foe. Twelve help me I’d hoped I could fit more of the plot into this one the last part is gonna be so long, such a pain to edit.

A cold, mountain spring cuts through the highlands. The water runs babbling over old, long-smooth stones. Along its bank, a cart is still. A pair of chocobos sleep, curled in on one another. Bright yellow feathers pool starkly against the grey and white of the highland’s snow-covered earth.

The campfire, dim and growing colder by the minute, pops and sizzles in the moonlit dark. Every few moments, the earth rumbles with a heavy snore from deep in Rostnthal’s chest. The old Sea Wolf is leaned up against the back of one of the birds, a canvas sheet thrown over both he and the chocobo. Hilda lies beneath the cart itself, nestled up in a tight ball of quilts and jackets.

In the back of the cart, Vavara rifles through the packed supplies. She loads specially marked shells into her revolver. It’s reflective white metal glints in the moonlight. It has a mirror shine in the dead of night, it’s engravings doing little to break up the perfect polish she’s maintained. It is a slow process, painstaking with just one hand. The cartridges hum and vibrate in their chambers, the ether concentrate within nervously singing to her heightened hearing.

Six shots in each cylinder.

If he’s there, it’ll take at least fifteen of these to break his barrier. Even with aether-charged rounds, the inadequacy of her armaments hangs over her. Missing an arm means choosing between her spear and a firearm. Damaged as she is, she might not even have enough aether at her disposal to ignite the spearblade.The core nested between her lungs is pressed cold and stark against her heart, like a long-dull knife. Her soul, nestled within it’s crystal depths, aches from long-faded scars. Her whole body would be a treasure trove for him, secrets to decipher, power to steal. Weapons to wield.

Even then, measured against his life - her secrets, her safety, all things are cast into the pot.

She loads a spare cylinder with slow, committed strokes. It’ll take a long time to reload the weapon, even with this preparation.. She didn’t pick this hand, but she’ll play it till the cards are on the table. Folding was never an option, anyways.

Light falls on the small camp, the morning sun casting light into the narrow crevice beneath the cart. Hilda wakes up with a yawn. Her arms stretch across the dirt, eyes squeezed shut. She growls softly deep in her chest, and sits up. Her forehead slams into the wood with an audible crunch.

“Seven hells-” She snarls.

“Gyahah!” Rostnthal’s laughter echoes over the small glade, watching with a gleaming eye as she clutches her forehead.

“‘Ey, Ashenheart! I won! Ye’ owe me a drink when we get back!” His grin is audible, a chuckle reverberating in his voice.

“I never agreed to playing your game.” Vavara says. “Besides, I owe you more than a drink if we all return safely.”

“Heh. Humorless. What with ye’ hangin with the Scions lately, thought you may’ve lightened up some. Guess even they can’t get ye’ out’a that shell.” His voice is no less mirthful, seemingly unfazed by her chilled tone.

“A’ight, come get yer food. Breakfast’s done.” He slaps the side of the kettle, ringing loud and full. Still groaning and clutching a bloodied face, Hilda drops into a cross-legged sit besides Rostnthal.

They goad and poke at one another, the words fading into white noise as Vara sits atop the cart.Her eyes’ light dims, old, ash-soaked memories rising from the shadows of memory. A wave of nauseating nostalgia hits her in the gut.

“You not eating?” Hilda prods Vara with an empty bowl. The old, smoke-scented memories submerge into the dark again.

“Not right now. I had hardtack before you two were up.” She pushes herself up to her feet, her arm stretching, slight shoulders squaring for a moment under the winter overcoat.

“I’ll get the birds ready while you two eat. We need to move soon.” Her footsteps crunch in the snow as she walks away. A hanging tension in the air slowly seeps into the air as she walks away.

“Y’know,” Rostnthal calls out, voice low and rumbling. “Ye’ still haven’t told us where we’re goin’. Or anything else of substance, really.”

“Yes,” She says as she hoists the barding onto one of the birds. She glances over her shoulder, eyes dimly glowing with an unnatural, cold light in the shadow of the brim of her cap. “I am aware.” The words are biting, dismissive.

“D’ye intend for us to go into whatever trouble is brewing blind?” His tone is calm and grim, his one, good eye locked on hers.

“I do.” She returns his gaze, ironclad.

“An’ if that means things get bloodier than they ‘ad to?”

“It won’t. I can’t protect you on the battlefield. Not in my condition.” She turns away, leading the chocobos to the cart’s front. She clips their barding in, the ‘coos’ and ‘kwehs’ of the birds giving her occasional pause to double check her work.

“So you won’t be there.” She says without turning. “I’ll be leaving you and the birds out of danger. When my student finds you, you’ll take him to Dragonhead.”

“Wait, what?” Hilda pauses halfway between bites, eyes narrowing. “I came out here to help, not to be a damned taxi. You’re not traipsing off on your own, ‘specially not after all your talk about this fucker who’s hunting you.”

“You want to help?” Vara’s grip on the wood tightens, words turning venomous. “Then I’ve told you how. You want to die? Then go on, follow me after we part ways.”

“Oh, that’s rich.” Hilda’s tone sours, “What’s your deal? We went over this on our first day out, and now half a week in you’re changing your tune? We know it’s dangerous, we get it.”

She sets her half-finished meal aside, standing up. Her hands come to rest on her hips, Rostnthal’s eye moving to rest on her.

“We signed on for this. We knew it’d get bloody, we knew it’d be a close thing. Y’think we’ve not learned to read you? That we were blind to what we were getting into?” She says, defiantly staring down at Vavara.

“So you’re going to ride in and save the day? Vanquish the bad man with your shiny gun and sporty marksmanship? You think you have what it takes to stand against a man who’s decided he’d rather be a demon?” Vavara takes a deep, steadying breath. There’s something about the question which makes Rostnthal’s hairs stiffen. The skin on the back of his arms and back prickles. He’s still watching Hilda, a blooming anxiousness slowly taking up more space in his chest. He pushes the feeling down.

“Wouldn’t have stepped up if I didn’t think I could help” Hilda says, “An’ I may not be some vaunted champion of the realm like those you’ve been keepin’ the company of, but I-”

“You sound like a child. Too busy playing hero to see the danger you’re in.” Vavara’s chiding words cut through her momentum.

“What do you believe you are wagering? Your life? That in failure, you would die?” Her laugh is a single, wrenching cough. “This isn’t a battle of life and death. I’d sooner shoot myself in the head than allow any of those ‘vaunted champions’ to face him. Even the Warrior of Light, no especially the Warrior of Light.

“He does not kill. He captures. And those he captures become another one of the Empire’s experimental weapons. You would not die, you would become a monster to be sicked on your allies, your friends, and your loved ones.

“So I will face him alone. And you two will ensure an innocent boy does not become a monster because my past came to call. And if after hearing that, you still want to be the hero? Fine. You can be like all the others before you and die like one, too.” Her voice nearly chokes at the end. Shoulders tense, she pushes out a hoarse, whistling breath.

“I’ll do what I do best. Survive. And whatever I have to do to make sure he gets through this too? I’ll pay that price. Worry about yourself.”

“Vavara.” Rostnthal says, leaning in. “What’s so important about this kid that yer so concerned about ‘im getting captured.”

“Nothing. He’s just-” She begins, only for him to hold up one hand to silence her.

“Ye’ never go this far ‘just because’. I’ve seen ye’ in the ‘eat of battle. Cuttin losses ‘as never been somethin’ yer averse to. Even with lives. So if this kid is a hazard to himself more than anyone else, I reckon ye’d try and save him, sure. But to be willin’ to train and tutor a complete greenhorn, let alone throw yerself into the fire for ‘im?? Doesn’t add up.”

He waits. His eye locked on her back, her greying, braided hair shifting with a breeze. Hilda glances between the two, silence bubbling and steaming with tension.

“He is Blessed.” She speaks with a hushed admission, her voice accompanied by an undercurrent of choked, hissing metal.

“And from my observations, he has an aptitude for its power rarely seen. But he is young, foolhardy. I took him in because he otherwise would have found the Scions. And I refuse to see them make another martyr.” She glances back to the other two, over her good shoulder.

“His power will invite controversy and challenge, especially if he cannot wield it. And should Llain capture him, the prospect of an anti-eikon weapon imbued with the power of the Echo is a looming threat I cannot risk. If he can wield the Echo, if he learns how to use it to reinforce his sense of self and being, then he would retain his sanity through any kind of augmentation. Any kind of torment.” Her hand reaches up and rests flat against her chest, claw-tipped fingers scraping against the cloth and leather of her coat.

“His soul could reside in even steel and crystal, and be unharmed by the process. But if he is captured before he learns to understand and wield the Echo, he could well become a weapon of terrifying power. An incarnation of death made manifest in steel and ceruleum.”

“I refuse to be the mother of death.” She says, softly, almost-inaudibly.

Rostnthal opens his mouth to speak, but the glare he receives from her in return stifles him for a moment.

“None of that changes what you must do. I trust you enough to determine your own path, if you will not heed my warnings. I will tell you what you need to know, even if it is not all you want to know.”

“No, it does change what we need to do. Whether you think so or not.” Hilda says, her confidence returning.

“That kid. What’s his name?” She asks, eyes fixed on Vavara’s.

“Tahve’ir.”

“Well, he’s going to need a teacher still, by your tone. So getting him out isn’t enough. I’ve got to make sure you both get out.”

“And if you can’t?” Vavara says as the two share a long, grim stare.

“Then I get him out, and come back for you. You said he doesn’t kill, and I doubt he can make it back to Garlemald in a single night. So, we get Tahve’ir out, and if you get caught in the meantime, I’ll run back and get you out in the night.”

“Nah.” Rostnthal’s voice rumbles softly, quietly. “Ye’ ain’t got experience with that kinda work. I’ve ran with the yellow jackets and the like, bustin’ slave rings and smashin’ smugglin’ ops. If she gets caught and we have to pull out, I’ll go. An’ you’ll take the kid.” He looks towards Hilda, a confident spark in his eye.

“Alright. Best not mess it up, y’old drunkard.” Hilda says, she cocks a nervous grin and playfully jabs his arm. He just chuckles grimly.

“So you won’t heed my warnings.” Vavara’s voice is distant, a kind of shrill, haunting whistle riding under the injured voice. “It always happens like this.”

“Chin up.” He says, crossing the distance between himself and her in a few steps. He drops to one knee, and rests one hand on her shoulder. He grips her softly, confidently.

“I’m not ignorin’ what ye’ said. We can’t win in a direct fight? Then we’ll just have to run ‘im ‘round the bush. Keep ‘im guessin’. Keep ‘im dazed. We’ll work on strategies on the way there.” He takes a deep breath, and then stands. He climbs into the driver’s seat.

“Have faith.” He says, patting the birds with a solid, steady palm. “‘Ave faith, an’ all will be well. Besides. Yer not meant t’look so glum. Doesn’t suit yer’ image. Times like these, a snarl’s better.”

She just takes a deep breath, steadies herself, and nods.

She jumps up into the back of the cart as Hilda finishes dumping the last bits of the kettle, and scooping her bowl back up into one hand. The dinnerware sack lands in the back with a cataclysmic, chaotic crash.

As soon as her boots are fixed upon the wood, Rostnthal whips the reins and the birds kick up dust as they run.

The sun sinks back low in the sky again. Pale-red light streaks across the untamed mountains between Ishgard and Ala Mhigo.

A small shack with a sprawling, chaotic garden sits on a low, narrow plateau. Heavy, metal boots scratch into the wet, snow-melt fed earth. A man with sandy skin, a straight back and strong shoulders stands at the edge of the homestead. His hair is neatly, painstakingly pulled into a long, salt and pepper braid. It rests on his armored pauldrons, and hangs down to his waist. His eyes, a gilded, ember orange, take in the small, humble abode.

In one hand, he holds a thick, angular blade. It’s gunmetal edge reflects no light, despite the bright morning. Coarse and rough, like a painted, sharp thorn of ink clutched tight.

In the other, he holds a stark, shining revolver. It’s pearly white metal casts myriad colors onto the ground around him, and up onto his own blackened platemail.

In the light of dusk, his aura shines bright and ethereal around him. Dancing, half-there reflections in intangible glass.

He takes a deep breath, and cracks a cheery grin His shadow stretches over the gardens in the evening light. He can smell the faintest hint of ceruleum in the air.

“Finally. Progress.” His smile is all teeth and ambition.

#ffxiv #ffxiv creative writing #aegis' writing archive #hilda the mongrel #rostnthal the reborn #Vavara Ashenheart #vavara kir vara #llain rem corvis #ok so i was Not Expecting the last part to get seen at all and then uh #then it got seen by someone who i respect and all of a sudden it got a small handful of notes and reads #gave me the motivation i needed to get this to a point where i'm comfortable enough to post it #i'm also genuinely a little more confident in this portion of the exercise #not because i think it's any better?#cuz honestly not a lot happens #it's just setting up the big climax as best as i can so that it has some weight.#but when i read through aloud and silently during editing it all flowed much better #and that was my biggest self critique of the last part was that certain parts just would not flow at ALL #i also feel i captured Vara's cold dismissive tone better here #she's not a necessarily bad person but she's definitely Not Nice #also just for mobile formatting using the double dashes to try and signal line breaks will hopefully help make it more legible in general #insert boilerplate 'i hate this formatting on this site' here #anyways thanks for hearing me rant and for supposedly reading #means a lot to me #have a lovely day fuckers

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silverdragon-imagines-blog · 4 years

Text

A Glitched Death - Chapter 4 - The Gang

Read it on AO3 here

[Warning for dis-tendril-ment. It’s like dismemberment, but a tentacle/tendril gets cut off instead.]

Error once again found himself in the anti-void covered in dust. He was so tired of losing control of his own body every time he did this, but, according to the voices, it had to be done. However, there was no end to be seen. Ink had continued to create more and more copies, spin-offs, and threats to the entire Multiverse, where it would begin caving in on itself. He was starting to run himself ragged with all the work he was doing, magic levels beginning to protest its overuse.

Error laid down on his back, staring up at the “ceiling” of his home. The endless white was maddening, so he had decided to attempt to “liven the place up” by throwing his strings up so they hung within reach. It was the only real decor he had at the moment, he tried not to question how they managed to hang up there from seemingly nothing, but he had been thinking about maybe hopping into a surface world to try and buy some furniture, maybe even a beanbag chair. He smiled at the thought of owning anything to make the place less barren, less maddeningly white.

*Looks like Night’s at it again.*

Error furrowed his brow bones in confusion at the voice’s words. Another monster he didn’t know, who was apparently significant since the other voices joined in almost immediately.

*Ink’s fighting him with Dream! Never thought Dream’d muster up the courage to do that.*

*Ah, the King of Darkness. Such a foreboding title for such a small fry.*

*Looks like it’s just him this time. Wonder where his cronies ran off to.*

*ERROR, YOU SHOULD GO FIGHT THEM!*

“SiNcE WHEN HavE I eVeR JoINeD a FiGHt JuSt BecAUse?! ThErE’s LitERaLLy NO ReAsOn fOr Me tO Be ThErE!” Error yelled at the voices, and for once they quieted for a moment. He sighed in relief at the moment of quiet, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. Then the voice spoke up.

*Reaper is with them.*

Error shot up at that, hands shaking as he opened a window-like portal to see the world they were in. It was immediately apparent that it was an underground timeline, a darkened ceiling with dead and decaying trees scattered about, dusty snow covering the ground.

‘Must be an Underfell AU,’ Error guessed and was proven correct when he spotted a heavily graffitied “Welcome to Dustdin” sign in the distance.

The main event, however, was in the center of the town, where an inky black skeleton stood holding the resident Papyrus by the neck with one of his many long black tendrils that sprouted from his back. He was using them to block the attacks Ink made with his brush and paint, while a skeleton in a yellow cape stood nearby with a shiny gold bow and arrow pointed at the two fighting skeletons. Ink seemed very determined to get the other to drop the Papyrus, eyelights switching between various shapes, all of them colored red, though he never moved from his spot, the hostage most likely being the reason. Error couldn’t see Reaper and frantically looked around the scene before him, hoping that he hadn’t gotten involved in the fighting, only to sigh in relief when he spotted him sitting up in a tree a fair distance away, unharmed.

*You know, for not wanting to ruin anything, you sure do watch your ex a lot.*

*Wonder how long this fight’s gonna last. Ink doesn’t seem to be winning.*

*Not to mention, Nightmare isn’t even breaking a sweat yet.*

Error ignored the voices, choosing to instead watch as Nightmare began to walk back into his own dark void of a portal, the Papyrus in his grasp beginning to notice his potential fate. He began to plead with Nightmare to let him go, that he’d do anything the dark skeleton wanted if he’d just be set free from his hold. Nightmare’s smile grew more and more with each beg and plea, laughing when the poor skeleton monster hanging from his grip began crying in fear.

That’s when Error saw a shadow moving across the ground, and his gaze immediately snapped back to the tree where Reaper had been, but the god wasn’t there anymore. Hurriedly he tried to locate him again when Error’s gaze returned to the fight at the sound of a gasp and a wet splat from the snowy ground. Nightmare’s hold on the skeleton monster’s neck had been severed easily by Death’s scythe, cold glare and unsettling grin directed at the now wounded dark skeleton, weapon poised to sever his head in a single motion. The Papyrus had crawled away as fast as he could towards the other two skeletons opposite his captor, the yellow cloaked skeleton dropping his bow to turn his attention to him, while Ink held his brush at the ready to continue fighting if need be.

“Are you done yet, false king?” Reaper spoke, his “Death voice” as Error once called it echoing through the abandoned town. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this place, before I decide to change my mind about letting you live.”

Nightmare simply glanced at Death over his shoulder and smirked.

“I have a feeling we’ll be seeing each other again soon enough, Lord Death,” Nightmare laughed, as the void-like portal appeared underneath him and he fell through.

Error breathed a sigh of relief once Nightmare was gone, gaze lingering on Reaper, making sure that he was truly okay, before closing the window completely. He lay back down with an arm over his eyes, adrenaline running through his mana lines as he tried desperately to get his breathing back under control from the scene that had transpired.

*Don’t you think it’s strange how Reaper was helping Ink?*

Error thought over what he had heard from the voice, and the answer his mind supplied was one he wished he could change, or at least that it wasn’t the truth.

‘Reaper and I are enemies now...’

The thought saddened him, but he had already accepted that what they had together long ago was over. What were the chances that Reaper would even recognize Error as the love he’d lost? Error felt tears prick at his sockets, and he started to try and rub them away before the voices noticed his “weakness” and ganged up on him again. Then that voice returned.

*You know, I bet Nightmare’s got a portal to his hideout still open right now. He didn’t have his buddies with him this time, which I bet means they went out for supplies while Ink wasn’t looking.*

“WhY wOUld I wAnT tO gO ThErE?” Error questioned the voice, and the others snickered as the voice spoke again.

*Oh Error, your life would be so much easier if you just listened to us. You could have ALLIES, people to help you out, if you’re lucky anyway. For all you know, Nightmare might just have enough pity on you to help.*

He tried to ignore the laughter and jeers that were thrown his way after that, and instead opened a portal to a copy that was on the surface. If he was going to try and find one of Nightmare’s portals, he may as well get his beanbag chair in the meantime.

_______________________________________________________________

The streets were crowded with people and monsters, though they never seemed to pay Error any mind with his skull covered by his jacket’s hood. He’d never been so thankful for it until now, otherwise who knows what would have happened.

He had somehow managed to keep himself under control when he got to this world, so he wouldn’t end up alerting Ink to his presence so soon after his last “outing”. He had wandered the streets for a few minutes, avoiding running into anyone who happened to be near him, while keeping his head down so no one would see his face. As he was passing what looked to be a hobby store (maybe he should try something like knitting or crocheting, just to have something to do in his spare time), he saw another skeleton with his hood drawn up disappear into an alleyway down the street. Error quickly glanced around him and quickly stepped into the furniture store next door.

He knew he needed to hurry, so he found the giant beanbag chair he had been wanting (and it was a blood-red color too, blue stitching holding the fabric together) and quickly shoved it into his inventory when no one was looking. He ran outside of the store and ducked into the alleyway down the street, leaning against the wall to catch his breath. He couldn’t help but giggle at the fact that he stole something without getting caught, something he hadn’t had to do since he was young and on the streets. When his quiet laughter had stopped, he glanced up and looked around at the alley he was in, sockets widening at the sight of a shadowy portal slowly closing at the other end of it. He started booking it down the alley, diving into it before it closed, and landing against something hard on the other side.

It was quiet, so quiet that he felt like he couldn’t breathe, not that he needed to do so in the first place. Slowly, he opened his sockets, looking around to see himself surrounded by other skeletons. They seemed shocked at first, but their expressions quickly faded into amusement.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” A snide voice spoke.

He whipped his head towards the voice, looking up into pitch-black voids that made up another skeleton’s sockets, skull stained with streaks of black from his sockets and a too-wide grin on his face.

“Think we should take ‘im to the boss, Killer?” another more gravelly voice spoke, almost against Error’s skull. He flinched, leaning away from them as he took in the sight of a much taller and broader skeleton, with a singular red eyelight and a gaping hole in his head. He too wore an almost crazed grin on his face.

“Hey, once you two boneheads are done talking at my stalker, you mind getting him off of me?!” A slightly higher pitched voice spoke from beneath Error, causing him to jump and quickly scramble away from the skeleton he had apparently landed on top of.

The previously crushed skeleton sat up, rubbing his back where Error had landed on him and glared at him with red and purple eyelights. Besides his eyes, the skeleton looked to be the most normal-looking Error had seen thus far.

“S-SorRY AbOUt tHaT,” Error stuttered, both embarrassed and fearful of the monsters around him.

“Huh, since when does fresh meat sound so terrible,” the giant skeleton spoke, earning himself a jab in the ribs by the skeleton he had previously called Killer.

The monster Error had landed on sighed in annoyance, then stood up, brushing himself off, and looked down at Error.

“Pretty sure I know who you are. Pretty sure Paps knows too,” he spoke, taking a step closer, “and if we’re both correct, then the boss wanted to meet with you anyway.”

He smirked then held out a hand.

“The name’s Dust, and welcome to Haventale, little glitch. The current hideout of Nightmare’s Gang.”

#AGD #A Glitched Death fic #A Glitched Death update #afterdeath #glitcheddeath #Reaper Sans #reapertale sans #error sans #nightmare sans #Ink #Dream #Nightmare #Error #Reaper #nightmare gets a tentacle cut off #nightmare's gang

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ljouonline · 2 years

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SPOILER WARNING FOR COLLIDE MANHWA

PROMPT: replace me for Joy in the collide universe: im a zero and I’ve been trying to find how I can survive being so unique

After seeing the profesor at the EST battle I couldn’t really stop thinking about my behavior. Sure after all that time with Moowon I understood it wasn’t my fault and that you can’t prevent when people want to harm you. Just because I understood that didn’t make it any better. I knew him too well; his sister’s death, how he’d been to his students, even the conversation I had with Layla, his ex-girlfriend, I didn’t understand why he’d hand me over to Likuslius like that.

“Its been fun”

He wanted to test drive the zero before anybody else.

Moowon rescued me, and after our time in the forest, after everything that had happened with the professor, I couldn’t just give myself so easily to him. I-I honestly though I loved him but I couldn’t stop replaying in the cabin how he pushed out in laborted breaths “no, I don’t like you” Sure he’s amended it later, flowers, a suit and even asking me to run away with him. When didn’t understand his past, and became an Mclan agent, we didn’t see each other for months, and then suddenly he was right in front of me. I couldn’t even think about how hurt the Director, his uncle, was, he was here and he still wanted me.

When the director explained everything how his parents had suffered, and I think still do, I felt a soft spot melting for him. I finally though id be making an informed choice with my heart and my rationale to be with him. I didn’t even remember the other zero he had fought at EST. Moowon loved me just as much as I loved him.

It appears, however, im doomed to repeat my mistakes.

You can’t compare two men in bed, you can, however, compare ability levels. If the professor was my first love, my first real sexual all the way encounter with a man, Moowon was…like the first time you see the sea, if your from the mountain. Feeling the gust of arctic wind and seeing snow for the first time after growing up in sand. It was incomparable but at the same time, exponentially better.

Like I said, it seems my history is just a series of scratched discs.

Sure, he didn’t hand me over to an evil organization, but he might as well done the same thing when after a few weeks of being a normal, albeit double zero, couple, he asked me to take a pregnancy test. When I explained I was on anti-conceptives, he blew his lid. Id never seen him loose his cool like that, saying id deceived him and tricked him. I couldn’t understand why he was so angry at first and then I remembered why this stupid DNA trait existed in the first place to produce genetic offspring. I didn’t feel like fighting anymore after I realized, and he didn’t really care to explain after he felt like id deceived him by not becoming pregnant, it was if I owed him that for all the interest he’d shown me. As If id deceived him just like his mother.

When the Linkusts agents came for me I didn’t fight either, I walked through the portal and right into the Kasaiten family estate.

Rupert Kasaiten. The zero I had briefly encountered during the battle at EST. id read he had lived for centuries and recently unmasked himself to be the true head of the family. Moowon said he wouldn’t stop chasing me after seeing me, that he knew from experience how obsessive a zero would become after meeting a carrier of my caliber.

The air of elegance and poise he carried himself with could only be achieved through thousands of years of practice, it was like encountering the mature alpha of the most predatorial pack. It doesn’t change the fact that its a beast walking on two legs surrounded by the most unimaginable things in history. What could the man who has everything want? The one thing he does not have.

In this case that was me.

“I didn’t expect a warm welcome, but I didn’t quite expect being chained to your living room floor either, I guess that’s what I should expect from beasts." I snarled.

“Always my love, You should always expect the worst from us.”

He walks around towards me “Sorry for the precautions, but you are an Mclan agent. Not that that really matters anymore, since they can’t get you here."

“Its not like I can attack you, carriers don’t have abilities.

“Oh that’s where you’re wrong my dear, id argue carriers are the most powerful of us all. Sure I could split the moon in half, but you can make me want to do it."

He was kneeling at eye level to me now, I could see the sweat forming at his brow from the extension to keep from…me

“Whooo! That’s the hardest hit I’ve ever taken, here I thought I was dead inside after all these years, but wow, a zero really is something else” he stepped away a couple yards and faced the wrap-around glass window.

“are you going to keep acting like im a drug while im chained to your living room or can I be granted basic human decency” I scowled, id never particularly enjoyed the novelty of my effect on men with abilities, but from recent experiences it gotten old real fast.

“Forgive me love, you just looked so pretty all tied up for me, I couldn’t resist” he snapped his fingers and the chains fell away and dissolved.

“Now, should we talk business?”

He led me through the grandest house id ever seen. {desc, Salvatore mansion-like} all the way into a conference room looking place. All the tables arranged into a circle, all headed by the largest one. With another snap of his fingers he transformed it into just one table, one candle two chairs and a paper and pen. As I stepped towards one of the chairs he brushed past me and pulled it out for me, the thanks that bubbled out of me were annoying, even more so with the sly smile it produced on his face.

“What do you want” I didn’t exactly feel like beating around the bush, I may not have been an Mclan agent for long but I knew businesses ran on arrangements and transactions.

“I think im having the steak tonight,” he produced a fancy, glossy looking menu in his hand as he leaned back on the adorned chair and crossed one ridiculously long leg over the other.

“From me. What do you want from me.”I repeated my question and ignored the menu now in front of me.

“Im passing down my gene through the greatest carrier in existence, if that wasn’t particularly obvious.” He flipped through the pages looking bored and threw a, “You?” my way.

“I was in the mood for some steak as well actually.” I picked at the corners of the pamphlet.

“Perfect, two steaks and that bottle of wine I picked out this morning” he winked my way as he spoke into his watch, ridiculously long fingers unlatching it and placing it face down on the table, before interlacing under his chin.

“What can I do for you my love? Im sure you know I don’t plan on being too horribly greedy and only gaining from this arrangement” as he spoke, his cold, leather dress shoe slid up my ankle and to the middle of my calf. I crossed my legs and he chuckled. I hated how much of a short but musical sound it was, I hated how much I wanted to hear it, and most of all how gooey it made me feel.

“looks like I won’t need the wine to make you blush after all” the laughter in his eyes had not died down, and unlike before he looked like a regular young man sitting in front of me.

“First of all lets get some misconceptions out if the way. While I might not have abilities and not get the same supernatural demon beast hornieness you get, that does not mean im unaffected. I feel the difference between regular people, those with abilities and zeros too, the pain just keeps me distracted enough to know I shouldn’t ever trust one of you again. Its not like im not still a teenage girl either, I mean six months ago I was graduating high school and didn’t even dream this world existed” I sighed, sometime during that the wine glasses had appeared and Kasaiten had sipped at his quietly.

“Second of all I want nothing, need nothing and like nothing about or from this world, most specially you. Its taken the most precious things of life from me and im just interested in living out the remainder of my human years safely and in peace.

Suddenly Moowon’s words from our second meeting flashed through my mind “pick the richest, strongest and best to protect you, that’s the only way you’ll survive”

I ducked my head, even after my speech and picked at my pijama shorts through the prickling behind my eyes

“Oh do continue,” he swirled his wine glass at me “dont go getting shy on me now.”

“im done. You talk”

“very well, maybe I should clear up some misconceptions of my own then” He stared intently but blankly at me until I raised my head to meet his gaze then he glanced at my wineglass and back to his, motioning for us to chink ours together. We did, and after each of us had taken a sip continued,

“firstly, I’ve lived enough to control my urges towards, almost anything, id like to think that includes women even zeroes like yourself. Now that I have you in my grasp I don’t think I’ll ruin the fun and rush into anything, after all we have all the time in the world.”

I lifted my gaze at that “what do you mean?”

“How do you think I’ve stayed so immaculately preserved through time? We’re currently in an alternate plane, not that much different from the one you’re used to, only time moves much slower here, a few hundred years in this house would be like a few seconds outside”

I boggled at that, I knew zeroes aged much slower due to their abilities but I didn’t know he was so powerful as to open a portal to an alternate plane, much less build a structure of this size in it.

“Besides, once we share genetic material you’ll age at my pace as well” he sipped his wine like it was a non eventful piece of information.

“wait what?” I dripped the stem of the glass

“Did you not know my love? Did your Moowon not tell your fates would be bound if you bore his child? Or did your mighty Mclan not know? Regardless, there are certain perks of being eternal” he shrugged, again, as if this was uneventful as well.

I felt myself getting hot again only this time it wasn’t…

“Secondly you may not want anything from me, but anything you ask may be granted. Think of me as your personal genie, without the wish restrictions,”

“more like selling my soul to the devil”

Again his chuckle sent a jolt though my spine I wasn’t comfortable with at all.

“speaking of bargains, what are your conditions dearest?”

“can you not call me ridiculous pet names?”

“Is that one of your conditions?” He picked up the pen and swirled it around his fingers over the paper.

“no. what are yours?” I would need to whey the price of having to grant something to this man

“Primarily that you allow me to pass down my genes, it all depends on you, really.” Again he twirled the pen with such ease and speed it almost blurred around his fingers. His smirk, while not going unnoticed, both calmed and stirred my anxious nerves.

“Well its not like I have much of a say in that…” all the times men had tried to force themselves onto me flashed though my mind…

“Oh dearest, they really have kept you in the dark haven’t they?” I didn’t think this man was capable of such a soft gaze much less filled with pity.

“You won’t get pregnant unless you want to. Carriers of such caliber can decide if they pass on genes or not.” Again with the swish of the wine in his glass.

“How do you even know all this? Its not like there’s been many others before…”

“I’ve been waiting for you forever, Joy”

“Is that why you’re trying to romance me? Because you have all this information about zero carriers and what my body does? That you know that if I don’t want to it doesn’t matter how many times you force yourself onto me I won’t…” I touched my cheeks and angrily swiped away the tears that had slipped.

“is that what you think? That no one could like you if it weren’t for your DNA? Love, maybe you have to start realizing that you were well worth it even before you were the prize of this world” he had zipped to my side and knelt to my level to wipe at my tears. I turned my face from him but that didn’t stop his smell from encompassing my senses. I turned back and looked into his eyes, they were a bit glossy and such a crystalline amethyst color I found I couldn’t look away

Is this what a prey feels as its enraptured by its predator?

“Your pupils are blown out, your hearts racing and I can smell your arousal, id say you're almost as affected as me, little joy” my eyes fluttered as his warm breath fanned my face. Then he got up and walked back to his side of the table.

“Conditions?”

{Timeskip}

“Right that’s all good and well but there’s something you have to do before I let you fuck a baby into me”

He smirked “Must you be so crude? such a high caliber specimen should never be that lewd with their language”

“said the pot to the kettle”

In the few weeks id been here his chuckle had settled in my body, like sand at the bottom of a bottle, and it only stirred slightly now. He had other ways of stirring up a storm and he’d figured some of them out by now.

We were laying on the couch, the books we had each been reading discarded on the coffee table, legs tangled and my “bony ass chin” as he called it, on his chest.

“when you say something I have to do, it does not include the aforementioned ‘fucking a baby into you’, correct?”

“correct” I guffawed,

He flipped us over so he had me pinned under him,

“then what type of action should I take so you ket me ravish you as you deserve?”

He was too close. It had gotten me a few days to get used to the effect he had on me, on my body.

I was almost panting at the closeness but I managed a breathy “just ask”

“Can I make you mine, my Queen?”

“Wrong question”

He plopped his head on my neck and licked at my shoulder, my cleavage, my throat. Nipped and sucked and rubbed his lips uo and over every expanse of my neck, and finally groaned, resigned to figure me out.

[timeskip]

It’s been a few months since I first arrived at the Kasaiten plane, I felt so different compared to reality that I imagined this is the opposite of what Moowon felt when Ethan sealed his powers. I could hike for hours through the woods behind the house and not get tired, if I fell and scraped my knee it’d healed by the time I got to wipe off the blood.

“Joy! I think I got it!” I chuckled and came back into the house, where Rupert was sitting surrounded by various sticky notes in all colors, some with my perfectly neat handwriting others with his messy scrawl. He’s been trying to piece together my puzzle for a while now, and I honestly couldn’t believe he hadn’t guessed by now.

“okay okay you said I have to present a unique offering for you to accept, what about a house under the sea? I could make it in a couple days and we could-“

“You’re on the right track but that’s not quite what I meant. I was expecting something smaller, maybe something I could decorate myself with” I laughed at his frustrated grunt and grumblings of “what does she want a pot of fucking stardust?”

After id said there was something we had to do before he could get what he wanted he’d been trying to guess what it was for a while now, what he didn’t know was that he couldn’t just mention it casually as he had the first couple of days after id riddled him, he had to do it properly.

I felt him come up behind me in the kitchen resting his cupids bow against my clavicle, bending his tall frame into mine.

“We could just practice, it wouldn’t have to be for real.” it didn’t really hurt when he said that anymore, I knew he was just shooting in the dark at any attention.

“I think we’ve practiced enough. Go on and solve your riddle if you want to tie the knot.” I pecked his cheek and bumped him away with my butt, moving to cut the peppers I had collected outside.

Sure at first I thought it was weird he didn’t protest, but when I looked back at him, still standing in the kitchen with a dumbfounded look on his face, id feared id said too much. When he started mumbling to himself I knew id given it away.

“What? What are you saying? Speak up”

“You want to be my wife”

He said it so matter-of-factly I was startled

“what?”

“you want to be my wife” We both stared at each other a bit lost and confused, then he took my hand and led me out to the bakcony. The sun was setting. He raised his hand and shooting stars filled the sky. I let out an exited squeak forgetting he could control almost everything.

“everything but you” he’d once said, but I couldn’t be the only thing out of his control…right?

He took my hips and spun me around to face him. The sun and stars made beautiful light dance across his face and teary eyes, I put my had to his cheek and sa-

“Will you marry me Joy? Will you be my wife? Will you be the mother of my children and companion forever?” He kneeled and pulled out a rock from his pocket, a cut stone the size of his huge palm, with his other hand he opened the lid, and inside shone the most beautiful rings id ever seen in my life. A glass band decorated with little solitaire, embedded directly into the trans lucid circle, and a gorgeous black diamond, set on a bone white band, also decorated with solitaires. The bigger, black and white ring had a chain around it, almost like a constellation strung one together after another.

“I love you, Joy. I’ve waited for you forever, and only started living when you breathed my name. I never want to be without you again.” I wiped at the tear that slid from his beautiful glowing eyes, as he smoothed and gripped at my thigh with his free hand. “please. Please, say you’ll be with me always.”

#yall i dont know whats wrong with me #im really a menace #like all this fluff made it impossible to write smut #im crying #anyways #fanfiction #manhwa #collide manhwa

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fandomiseverything · 6 years

Text

Pros and Con of Countries - Written by two Americans (Who both live in Minnesota)

Canadia

Pros:

Marriage equality (the gays can get married!) (SINCE 2005!!!!) (YEAH!!!!!)

Free healthcare :0

People are truly friendly

Politics are lighthearted and easily run

Higher wages

They have a town called Regina

Money has little windows that when a laser pointer is shined through it, it shows the value on the wall

They hate Justin Bieber

I’m pretty sure Justin Bieber can’t go into Canada? So that’s good (that is good)

Avril Lavigne

AVRIL LAVIGNE (yeah shes great but why is she a pro 2 times) (cuz she’s a clone) (ohyea)

Its a themepark (what) (their money projects the amount on the wall, its monopoly money, its waterproof, and its a scratch and sniff….. Its a themepark)

GingerPale

Rei & Shane (and Rei’s cats)

Canada is one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world

Change of legal sex available in all provinces and territories

under varying rules without sexual reassignment surgery

Tim Horton’s (YEEEEE, now i want tim hortons, ive heard of it never had it, and now i want it) (it’s gooooood. One day we could drive down to Brainerd and get some) (THEY HAVE TIM HORTONS IN BRAINERD????/!111/1/1?1/1?!?!?!?) (ye) (WEEEENEEEEEDDDTTOOOOOGGOOOGOGOOO!!!!11!!!1!11!!!!!, LEAVE IT TO MINNESOTA OR AS WE KNOW IT, SOUTH CANADA, TO HAVE A TIM HORTONS)

Cons:

Higher cost of living

Snow. lots of fucking snow.

Their money??? Is weird???

Consumer choice is low (especially with Netflix. The Canadian library is half the size of America’s)

Environmental impact (they’re one of the top oil producers in the world)

They spell Canadien with an “e” (its Canadian you matherfeker)

Its kinda hard to get into Canada

*Chloe voice* they are not French they just PRETEND to be for ATTENTION. (wow)

A lot of people only speak French (thats pretty much the same for any country, they speak a different language)

How do you speak French (very difficultly, lots of vowels, slightly similar to italian and spanish)

Its a themepark

It doesn’t exist (vtru)

COLD

Sweden

Pros:

It’s very clean. Like, seriously.

Most attractive people in the world

The locals are anti-social

The Gay has been legal since 1944

Right to change legal gender since 1972,

No sterilization required since 2013

Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections

Gays can adopt

Gay marriage legal since 2009

the first country in the world to allow transgender people to legally correct their gender

HomO, was the Swedish office of the ombudsman against discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation (i think its a funny name)

after one year of abstaining from sex, gay and bi men can donate blood

Sweden is Europe's most gay-friendly country

Cons

Very high taxes

Can’t ask for directions no one will talk to you :(

The locals are anti-social (so am i)

Germnay

Pros:

Central hub makes it easy to travel to other european countries

Good healthcare

Very active, with fairs and parties

Oktoberfest is pretty lit i guess (you guess?) (I’ve never been to Oktoberfest but my friend from Germnay - fuck you - says it’s great)

Legal drinking age is 16

Rammstein

Furries (i’m not a furry i sWEAR) (are you sure about that??) (i dOnT kNoW)

Legal to be gay since 1968 East Germany and 1969 West Germany

Gay marriage legal since 2017

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without required sterilisation and surgery

Sexual orientation and gender identity protection nationwide; some protections vary by region

Full adoption rights since 2017

gay and bisexual men have been allowed to donate blood, provided they haven't had sex for twelve months

83% of Germans support same-sex marriage

Cons:

Nearly everything is closed on sunday

Legal drinking age is 16

Germans dont get sarcasm

Finland

Pros:

They, unlike the Germans LOVE sarcasm

Very clean air

walk anywhere in nature at anytime

SEALS they have a special breed of seal native to finland

Very clear northern lights

They’re modest?

Extremists

Good heavy metal music apparently

People say they’re kind

Some of the most progressive lgbt laws in the world

Transgender people allowed to change legal gender, but only after sterilization

Sexual orientation and gender identity protections

Gay marriage is legal

Legal to be gay since 1971

one of the most LGBT-friendly countries in the world and public acceptance of LGBT people and same-sex relationships is high (lots of gays!!)

Cons:

CANCELLED, THEY HAVE FAT RARE SEALS

Norway (Richie’s fave country besides Canada)

Pros:

Snow is wet so you can actually do stuff with it (unlike MINNESOTA) (you CAN do stuff with minnesota snow!) (NO YOU CAN’T IT’S POWDERY AND WEIRD) (swhy you wait for wet snow or wait till it melts slightly, cause then its warm and thereswet snow) (NO) (yEEE) >:(

Norwegian elkhounds :0

People seem friendly?

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender

Sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, intersex status protections

Gay marriage legal since 2009, Gender-neutral marriage has been legally recognized since 1 January 2009

Married and committed same-sex couples allowed to adopt

Gay is legal since 1972

1 year deferral period was implemented, gay and bisexual men can donate blood

generally gay-friendly

Cons:

Shrugs

COLD (VERY COLD)

Russia

Pros:

Furry coats are nice

Furry hats called ushanka

Babushka means grandma but buska means bitch

Vodka

The GayTM, Decriminalised in 1917; Re-criminalised in 1933; Legal since 1993

Legal gender change since 1997

But only after what they call ‘medical procedures’ (idk what they mean by that but i suspect surgERY)

Cons:

No gays allowed

Religion is bAD

Religion is GOOD

THEY CAN’T DECIDE???

ALSO COLD (SO COLD)

Too much snow

They like to destroy things? I saw two Russian guys put a stick of dynamite in the sewer and explode the road? Why? (BAD but thins going boom is fun, but not important things)

Vladimir Putin (yee, but we have sarah palin to watch him) (o shid u right)

Government is weird? You can get killed if you say you don’t like the tsar?

If you gay and live in ‘Murica you can’t adopt from Russia (fuck russia)

Communism I guess (thought you liked communism?) (to a degree. I like the idea of it but it’s also bad? Like you can’t/don’t own anything? Your dog is not your dog it is everyone’s dog? I do not like that my dog is mINE)

No discrimination protections

No recognition of gay relationships

tends to be among the most hostile toward homosexuality

Japan

Pros:

SHIBES!!!!! AKITAS!!!! FLUFFY DOGGIES!!!

Sakura trees :0

Pretty colors

Gay is legal, it was legalized in 1880

Very strict gun laws

Never had a school shooting EVER

2015 opinion poll found that a majority of Japanese support the legalisation of same-sex marriage

sex among consenting adults, in private, regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender, is legal under Japanese law

Cons:

Killer bees (we dont like killer beeeees, NOT THEEEE BEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!) (the killer bees will kill you in a heartbeat)(bad bees…. , NONONONONONNOTJAPAN) (they only live in the forests tho. I think)(ILIKEFORESTS!!) (me too)

No nationwide recognition of same-sex relationships

No gay marriage

Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Pros:

All the gay is allowed

They have their own website you know it’s legit when they have their own website

Government is gay (everything there is gay) (shhhhhhhhhggSTOPITgggg)(NO)

Dingos

Cons:

Im pretty sure you cant permanently live there

It was technically at war with Australia for a while

Dingos (I want,,, to pet them,,, but they will bite me,,,)(i was gonna put them in the cons too if you didnt)

Kangaroos (vdangerous) (they scare me) (THEY SHOULD)

Greece (i like greece)

Pros:

Ruins

Anti-lgbt discrimination explicitly banned (ooo nice)

Food

Ocean!!!!!!! Ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean!!!!!!!!! (SaME)

Goats :0

Male homosexuality has been legal since 1951, female homosexuality has always been legal (nICE)

Hate crimes laws covering all areas incl. sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics

school sex ed classes include segments on sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, homophobia and transphobia (NICE!!!!!)

Pride has been held since 2005, and has been held in most other moderate sized cities since 2010

Trans people's can legally change their gender without having to undergo sex reassignment surgery (NICE!!!!!!)

GAY CULTURE IS VERY VIBRANT

a 1982 law that legalized civil marriage between "persons", without specifying gender, acted as a test-case for same sex marriage

Since 2005, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace is prohibited.

A lot of boat traveling

Cons:

Quality of life is kind of falling apart

A lot of animals roam freely, which means LOTS of poop

Goat farmers (whats wrong with goat farmers) (they won’t let me pet their goats :( ) (really…. Thats why this is a con?) (yes. I’m a petty bich) (......) (i like goats. And i want to pet them. If you do not let me pet your goats I will be sad [and kinda mad because I want to love them])

Lots of fucking goat cheese

Too close to Italy (whats wrong with italy???) (too friendly. It’s suspicious) (OMFG SERIOUSLY???) (YOU PUT THE FACT THAT CANADA SPELLS CANADIAN WITH AN “E” IN THE CONS) (thats because it iS A CON!!!!! CANADIAN IS SPEELED WITH AN “A”) (NOT IN CANADA)

The Netherlands

Pros:

quite strict gun laws, not seen as a right, but a privilege (????) (you wanted strict gun laws, they have really strict gun laws, its a privilege to have guns, and only for hunting and target shooting, not for self defence, or for other things at all) (nice!)

Homosexuality legalized in 1811 (holy shid)(yeeee)

Gay marriage legal since 2001 (i was born in 2001, they knew i was coming) (I was born in 2000)

The first country to legalize gay marriage (I approve)

banned discrimination on sexual orientation on the grounds of employment, housing, public accommodations, and more.

Lesbians can get IFV (???)(in vitro fertilization, they implant a fertilized egg so they can carry their own child, instead of just adopting)

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender, only after a diagnosis but without surgery or hormone therapy

. Amsterdam has frequently been named one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the world

Homomonument, was the first monument in the world to commemorate homosexuals who were persecuted and killed during World War II (this is so cool)

85% of the Dutch population supported same-sex marriage and adoption as of 2013

Cons:

Cold? I think?

Republic of Ireland

Pros:

Ireland (nice pro) (thanks)

first country to legalise same-sex marriage on a national level by popular vote

Affordable for any budget

Entitled to 20 days of leave

Yes, transgender people can change legal gender by self-declaration since 2015

Safe, with few guns

Less police

Lots of pubs

Speak English (this was a pro on a website) (IT IS A PRO I ONLY SPEAK SPANGLISH) (Spanglish) (YES SPANGLISH , DONT BE A DIC) (I can’t be what I don’t have)

Fear nothing and no one

Gay marriage legal since 2015

Low crime rate

Cons:

In a fight with Northern Ireland because they don’t want to be ruled by England but Northern Ireland does. Now Northern Ireland is a separate country.

The potato famine (I like potatos) (exactly)

Bad weather

Less police

Not much of a non-alcohol social scene

Fear nothing and no one

The Philippines

Pros:

Have to be at least 21, and pass a background check to be issued a Possession License for guns

If you’re a foreigner and you have a gun, you’re going to go to prison.

They are poised to make stricter gun laws

LGB allowed in the military

Low cost of living

GORGEOUS!!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!!

The Family Code of the Philippines says that marriage is “a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman,” but The Constitution does not prohibit same-sex marriage

One of the most gay-friendly countries in the world

Is the most gay-friendly country in Asia

Cons:

Can’t donate blood if you gay. You will give them The GayTM. (don’t drink the tap water)

Drug problems

Healthcare problems in some areas

Tagalog is very complicated to learn

Malta

Pros:

Transgender people can change gender with or without surgery

Homosexuality legal since 1973

Gay marriage legal since 2017

ban on anti-gay discrimination in employment

sexual orientation and gender identity protections

the first country in the European Union to prohibit the use of conversion therapy

Cons:

Gay and bi men in Malta are not allowed to donate blood

Though there’s talk to change that law

Poland

Pros:

In Warsaw they have a Hatsune Miku statue

Never illegal to be gay

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender.

one of few countries where sexually active gay and bisexual men are not legally restricted from donating blood. (give them The GayTM, drink that dam tap water)

Cons:

Apply to high schools

School is weird

Gay marriage is banned (wHAT) (I KNOW! Im sad too) (what if you’re gay married BEFORE moving to Poland) (idk are you planning to get gay married?, also … i dont remember waht i was gonna say) (no i’m just thinking about all the other gays who might move to Poland)

United Kingdom

Pros:

The Queen (YEEEE!!!)

Always legal for women to be gay; decriminalised for men in: 1967 England and Wales, 1981 Scotland, 1982 Northern Ireland

Right to change legal gender since 2005

Gay marriage since 2014, not in northern ireland

All discrimination protections since 2010; some existed since 2003 for sexual orientation and 1999 for gender identity

Tea

Crumpets

Cons:

Under the Gender Recognition Act 2004, transgender people who are married have been required to divorce or annul their marriage in order for them to be issued with a GRC. (??????? wtf????) (ikr, its kind of very mean)

The legislation of gay marriage also does not restore any of the marriages of transgender people that were forcibly annulled as a precondition for them securing a GRC

What time is it? ...ITS SEVEN BONG!! (you know they don’t actually tell time like this, right?) (IDONTCARE)

Still #salty about the Revolution (VERY)

BISCUITS (NO!!) (aka cookies in America) (FUCK BISCUITS)

conversion therapy remains legal in the UK (NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO) (IKR LIKE FUCK THAT)

Rains a lot

France

Pros:

Baguette (noice)

DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF DAY THE FRENCH GO EITHER WAY

Legal to be gay since 1791 (no wonder Lafayette was like how he was)

Transgender people allowed to change legal gender without surgery

Sexual orientation and gender identity protections

Gay marriage legal since 2013

amendment to existing anti-discrimination legislation, making homophobic, sexist, racist, xenophobic etc. comments illegal.

gay and bisexual men in France can donate blood after 1 year of abstinence

Transsexuality declassified as an illness

Cons:

Lots of crime? (from what I’ve heard)

Denmark

Pros:

Gay is legal since 1933

Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without a diagnosis, hormone therapy, surgery or sterilization

Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections

Full adoption since 2010

Gay marriage legal since 2012

Gays in military since 1978

Lesbians can get IFV

Laws against hate speech for seual orientation

Lgbt sex ed and relationships taught in schools

Cons:

Iceland

Pros:

Legal to be gay since 1940

Transgender people allowed to change gender without surgery

Gay marriage since 2010

No standing army

Sexual orientation protections

Both full joint and stepchild adoption allowed

2016, Icelandic President participated in the Reykjavik Pride Parade

the first Icelandic President to attend a gay pride parade

Cons:

No standing army

currently unable to donate blood in Iceland

Though they are wanting to remove the ban

Greenland

Pros:

The GayTM has been legal since 1933

Sexual orientation protection laws

outlawed hate speech on the basis of sexual orientation

Gay marriage and full adoption rights since 2016

Cons:

Cant donate blood

trans people cant legally change gender (fACK YA GENDA RULES)

This is all we got for now, but if anyone has any input or tidbits about these countries that wasn’t listed, that you think is important (especially if you live in said countries, send one of us a message, we’ll add it asap! (most likely me, because im on more often and as such am more likely to check my messages) Sorry for the extremely long post!

#longpost #Very long post #countries #things written in parenthesis are our commentary #bold (if you can even see the bold #If you cant... have fun guessing whos wo) I'm bold #non bold is @Richie-spacedust #I swear it started mostly serious #then it devolved into memos jokes references and a lot of gay #send us anything you think we need to add #sorry for how long this is

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