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#i have a job but i need a new one -_-
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*tries to organize my thoughts*
*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*
*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*
(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next
#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment#so many innocent bystanders at stake#every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis#racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system#and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description#aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh#(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain#and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students#this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE#...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power#and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class#which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever#it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding#are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it#please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent#mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies#& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground#mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man
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skialdi · 7 months
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Kura kura
I wish, I hope and I beg to get rid of all these sorrows~
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somegrumpynerd · 3 months
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When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen
Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.
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the-badger-mole · 2 months
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Love how you shamelessly hate Aang—I mean this totally as a compliment by the way! I’m so tired of seeing “I ship Zutara but I LOOOOVE Aang he’s a cinnamon roll baby!!!” and “you can like Zutara and also like Aang” and “it’s the WRITING that’s bad not Aang!” takes…ugh. Please. He’s a cartoon character and I don’t like him. That isn’t a crime. He’s boring at best and an entitled borderline abusive little shit at worst. I don’t like him! It’s so refreshing to read your blog, I don’t understand this fandom’s obsession with acting like he’s a real child we have to coddle
I don't understand it either. Then again, I will go to the mat to defend some pretty controversial characters, so who am I to judge (justice for Mr. Collins!) ? I don't mind that other people like him -some of my favorite people in the fandom like him- as long as they don't come after me for not liking him.
But yeah, the defense of him boiling down to "bad writing" always felt off. To me, bad writing is when the character suddenly takes actions that seem to come out of nowhere. Aang's actions in the back half of ATLA and into the comics and LoK track. They track very well with who he was even in the first season. Yes, he got worse as the series progressed, but the seeds were always there. I guess, if you want to make an argument for it being bad writing, you could talk about how his bad traits in the first half seemed to be setting up a growth arc that was abandoned in the second half. There's an argument to be made there, but it's not an argument that Aang's worst traits were OOC for him. I am not shocked at the kind of family Aang ended up having. I'm not shocked at how Kataang the couple turned out. I'm only shocked that Bryke managed to be that honest about Aang without realizing how awful he was.
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alexotls · 1 month
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job search is going well
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possamble · 1 month
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
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She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
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She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
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(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
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However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
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Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
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"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
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copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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His heart was too weak to listen, so I gave him a little bit of mine.
Soon they realized their new creation could do their job for them, finding the broken parts of the Ever After.
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I think y'all are forgetting about Shawn's choice of seat in that diner when he first met Juliet. He chose a seat a cop would choose for a sting. He chose a place with good vantage.
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shima-draws · 4 months
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Me: Oh god. It's time for our company's yearly performance review. Where my boss will judge my performance over the past year and see how awful I am at my job and--
My boss: You're doing such a great job and I'm so happy you're here <3
Me:
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tasmagor · 9 days
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Little self portrait to update my portfolio with…
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the1trueanon · 1 year
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wally "babyface" darling he looks like you could reach out and just squish his face :3 very pleasant and adorable -w-
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leverage-ot3 · 13 hours
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sorry to keep personal posting but my day fucking SUCKED and ended with me dropping one of my brand new earrings from a set that I just finished cleaning down the drain, took the sink apart and still couldn’t find it 🙃
if y’all feel like asking a leverage/misc question for thoughts or headcanons I’d love to answer them in the morning! or even if you just want to say something about your day- I just like hearing from you guys 💖
#or ask me abt my lockwood & co hyperfixation/chat w me about the show#and how I have been egged on my a moot to pursue my cot3 hunger games au (I have never finished a longfic)#(was bored at lunch break and wrote a portion of the berry scene 👀)#boss still owes me more than 2.5k and has been gaslighting me and continues to emotionally manipulate me and my coworkers#and cause serious shit that triggers clients in a THERAPY CLINIC#and has started second guessing my work by asking other employees if my input is ‘accurate’#which caused a flare up in my skin picking AND latent SI#ugh sorry for rambling yall I just need to write this out yk#I need a fucking sugar mommy or something 😭😭😭 I need to get out of this mentally/financially abusive job#not leverage#ask me things#jackie talks#about me#mine#this is the worst place I’ve worked which doesn’t necessarily say too much because I haven’t had many jobs#but one of my former bosses was a [redacted school shooting] denier when we were literally 20 min away from where it happened#which still boils my blood to this day LIKE WDYM YOU THIBK THE GOVERNMENT PAID OFF PARENTS AS A PART OF A CONSPIRACY TO INFLUENCE GUNCONTROL#she would tell a new hire ‘J doesn’t like conspiracy theories’#NO [redacted] I CAN DISCUSS THEM FOR FUN IN CONVERSATIONS BUT URS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS#EAT A DICK#hmmm I wonder if I still have anger about that lol#ANYWAYS I finally got my intake after waiting 8mo for the clinic I needed to get in and will be starting therapy in a few weeks#🫡🫡🫡
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fuckfuck fuck i need to make more physical crafts i need to create tangible things that i can hold with my two hands and put it somewhere i can See It and think Wow. I Made That.
#finished my little rudimentary earring holder & one of two arm warmers#MORE!!!! MORE!!!!!! I NEED MORE#maybe... maybe ill go get myself a new little plant and a pot to decorate. a little guy for my windowsill#ohhh i could uh! i could make like a little scrapbook thing and put in there all of my favorite things that ive drawn....#a little egotistical Perhaps but!! on days where i feel like shit and like my art sucks i could flip through that!#and say 'huh. not too bad actually'#plus it just sounds like a fun craft. i could get stickers and stuff. washi tape. glue flat objects on. add teeny doodles#i just. i need to create more i think thats whats wrong with me lately#i feel such Peace and Joy when i make physical things#i wonder if id like book binding...#no no thats for future me who has a job and an Income to get interested in#that would be fun tho! ive always wanted to try it.#and if i do i'd Really want to do that thing where people take a fanfic and make it into a physical book#that would be so fun...#i could have my favorites on a shelf! with permission of course!#absolutely unprompted#yk when i start to feel that Despair i really just gotta think about what physical things i could create#what art things i still have to discover and attempt and enjoy#today has sucked But! i will take the car tomorrow and by fuck i will do Something#a new plant friend. yeah. i need something alive in my room#and this weekend ill go to michaels and get myself washi tape so that i can secure my posters to the walls#bc my poster tack Is Not Working!#i wonder if our printer can work on cardstock... i wonder if its been Set Up yet i havent seen her#maybe ill make some more tiny vases today. i have clay still...#OH OH i could make small amigurumi keychain things...#*spoken with clenched fists and gritted teeth* there is still so much to discover and delight in in this life#the walls in this house are bare and cold but if my stepdad allows I Can Spruce It The Fuck Up#ohhhhh crochet tapestries... i could probably do that too...#i cant wait to pick up crafts get bored two days later and drop em and i say that sincerely!
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curioscurio · 7 months
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I finally decided to finish Steven Universe Future and its a little scary how much I identified with Steven this time around. Who am I kidding it was like looking in a mirror. . I have got to move the FUCK out
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carpe-mamilia · 8 months
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Nathan: What are some of your favourite Captain moments over the series?
Ben: Well obvi- I think, yeah, definitely the Havers episode, because it was really nice to be... again, it felt indulgent at the time, but actually we were able to kind of put enough story around it to make it sit. But it was a kind of little glimpse, and, um, my friend Pete, who played Havers, did it so well -
Mat: Yeah.
Ben: - that it was so delightful to do those scenes because it felt that we were going into territory that you just look behind the curtain a little bit, and it's like "ohhh that's who he is!"
Nathan: Yeah.
Ben: And - but that's all you need, you just need to see who he is. So you kind of, every time you see him after that, you know that this is a man who has so much, ah, pain and suffering going on under the surface. And we all do.
Nathan: And we love him more for it!
Ben: We're all - every single character, everybody you meet in your life has stuff going on you don't know about.
Nathan: Absolutely.
Ben: And so it's kind of just humanising the character, to a point. But I love those scenes because they had to be quick, they had to be on the money, but it had to get across all of this emotion that wasn't allowed to come out. And, um, lovely to be able to play that, as part of that character, yeah.
(Inside Ghosts, 'Gone Gone')
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lyfrassiredda · 20 days
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introducing the unwilling captain of the Dynamos, former Inspector Second Class Lyfrassir Edda! 
The AU where lyfrassir tries to hunt the prison mechs down with their shiny new eldritch powers (and a gun) for ditching them while their system was vored by a crusty imperialist’s eldritch sugar mommy.
Unfortunately, they’re not the only survivor of a Near Mechs Encounter interested in finding the crew of the starship Aurora— not by a long shot.
#lyfrassir#lyfrassir edda#the bifrost incident#the mechanisms#tbi#hey. you. yes you the one reading these tags. it’s me the ps5 inside your brain. come into my ask box and type#‘jester speaketh on the subject of new midgardian hair cartilage.’ i have so many thoughts about midgardian biology and how it interacted#with the bifrost#i also have a full crew roster for the dynamos au#and also to pique your interest further: the reason the crew finds dr. plichard is because lyfrassir starts displaying anemia symptoms#after they sleep with no discernible cause so they put cameras in Lyfs room and find dr. plichard dropping from the ceiling and doing#freestyle blooddrawing before spidering back up into the vents. this is how they discover daedalus is NOT doing his job as engineer because#dr. plichard has set up an entire condo in the vents. daedalus promised that he was done trying to stage a violent mutiny against lyf to#claim the title of captain. clearly he did not pinky promise because that bitch is a LIAR.#anyways. lyfs only captain because 1) no one else wanted the position and 2) no one wanted Former Tyrant Daedalus Of The Hephaestus Fame to#be in power#so unfortunately their options were ‘ex cop frothing at the mouth for immortal blood’ or ‘Hephaestus the Olympian’#anyways. if you’re wondering why the ps5 inside your brain came preloaded with mechanism au opinions and a tumblr blog.#well.#Don’t worry about it :)#come into my ask box. we’ll have pirate fun times in space!#also let me know what you think of this piece. i need to have positive affirmations read out to me by the tiktok voice over lady as asmr.#for my health#anyways oh yeah forgot that one tag#my art
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