#i have so much work for school to do now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dottores · 9 months

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i’m officially settled in my apartment 😎

#it’s so hot the ac is getting installed tomorrow #also the cockroaches 🥲 they’ve been tiny so far but #knock on wood #they keep coming up through the drain if anyone has tips on how to deal with them #i would appreciate it 😭#i have so much work for school to do now #like 6 orientation classes of work and now i finally got my syllabus and stuff #so i need to read over that #3/4 scenes done for heliotropes so this one should be on time but after this i’m likely going to switch to monthly updates bc i won’t be #able to keep up every other week with law school

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puppyeared · 3 months

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happy valentines day <3 i wanted to do more, but sadly i only had enough time to complete these two

please also don't forget Rafah is under attack and urgently needs help. you can buy esims, check the BDS boycott list, click the daily donation button and email your representatives (USA).

there will also be a global strike february 18 - 24.

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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months

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2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso

#yknow i thought maybe id get immune to his insane level of attractiveness from this weekend after posting so much #but these had me going: 'WHAT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK' super hoarse LMAO #im so confused at him. he was very cute and angelic in the earlier interview and now he looks like this???? unfair.#theres something about a man trapped by the sleeves of his racesuit....#okay anyways this should be my last work of the day actually #i have to go do a school thing so i shant be online...probably #BUT AH NO SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN SSO FUN YESTERDAY AND TODAY!!!#like it really is a reward after suffering thru all his races since zandvoort basically #but mostly cota and mexico killed me but this wknd has reminded me how fun racing and f1 can be #thank you everyone for being so fun hehehe #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #2023 brazilian gp #we do a little bit of f1

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luck-of-the-drawings · 25 days

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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brynalyn · 2 months

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I’ve been thinking a lot about what Laios would do for a living in a modern day au - I’ve seen some theorizing about how his love of monsters/ecology/nature would make him a good biologist. Which is true! But I personally could see him being just Some Guy, maybe a college or even a highschool drop out, who joined and then left the army, working random odd jobs like dish washer/mover/warehouse worker. He visits his college going sibling falin who is so concerned she decides to dropout (even though she only has a bit of schooling left and coincidentally is working to become a biologist/career inspired by something laios suggested once) and get an apartment with him because he’s practically homeless and in a rough state. Then they both get a job at the same place, like for instance….. a card/game shop perhaps?? Or even something that sells funky pops and wall scrolls side by side you know! Maybe even ran by the short and super young looking chilchack whose “secretly” a good boss/cares about his employees?? 🤔🤔

Like I just think laios would be just some guy who ends up discovering a rich world outside of trying to pay rent in this world in creating his own characters and worlds in things like dnd and the furry fandom. He is a great artist although members of his tabletop group don’t always appreciate him making their characters or themselves fursonas …but drawing monstrously beautiful creatures representing someone’s self is practically a love language for him so they accept it however begrudgingly.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #laios #falin #chilchuck #headcanons/au ideas #eventually falin decides she wants to go back to school. the dm (idk if it would be laios or senshi) works it into an arc #with her character ‘dying’ when she leaves #she only leaves because laios now has a found family they made together and stability #cue the playing through of the campaign without her #and when she visits on break from school they work it into the campaign #thinking about a roommate senshi situation while falin is away to school. hmmm #marcille is going to grad school locally and continues to visit and play tabletop with the group while falin is away #she misses her gf very much and wishes she would come back and ‘save her’ from the increasingly deranged senshi/laios campaign combo #they turned eating the monsters into its own thing falin!!!#falin is like ‘damn I really wish I was there rn I’m missing out on so much’#she comes back on holiday senshi+laios are like ‘so we have this idea to turn your character into a monster….’ she’s like LETS DO IT #damn I could keep going lmao #hmmm or chilchuck could be the dm…? card shop owner turned adopted dad of adult siblings gets bullied into a monster eating campaign #that could work..?#hmmmhmmmmmmmmHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #personal headcanon

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rusalkii · 2 years

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A while back I finally figured out how to use UBlock's element blocker and promptly went mad with power. Just now I turned off all my extensions to debug something and realized how much more useable it made everything. As soon as I see something annoying I open the Ublock popup, select the element picker, click the annoying thing, and (most of the time) the annoying thing is gone forever and I never have to think about it. So here's my shameless ad pitch for things you can do with it, other than the default "block ads":

Remove all of the UI buttons that are definitely useful for someone but that you're never going to use in your life

Remove UI buttons you use only once, like "register"

Hide the "Posts +" button in tumblr

Clear all of the information your credit card website tries to show you that you don't care about so that you can focus on the couple numbers that you do

Send those pop-up "do you want to chat!" notifications to hell, where they belong

Remove various website overlays

Remove specifically the calorie numbers on food delivery websites

Hide the comments and recommended videos sidebar on youtube

Hide promotions that an adblocker doesn't pick up on because they're native

Hide your facebook newsfeed (if you just use it for chat/events/groups)

Hide discord's sidebar when you just need one channel open and don't want to be distracted, and then unhide it when you want it back

Get rid of distracting moving elements on pages

Hide almost all of the elements on twitter except the actual tweet, if you only interact with twitter via other people's links and don't want to be sucked down the rabbit hole

Generally hide "Related!" or "See also" or "You might like!" type distractions on sites where you only want to see what you came there for, not browse

Remove all of the news from weather websites so that they can actually do their job and show you just the weather

Remove the footer text on websites no one ever reads

#i feel like there was a post going around a while back that had the phrase #reclaim your attention #or something like that #reclaim your attention!!#websites do not have the right to shove random junk at you unrelated to what you want out of them and you can make them stop #and just. customize your use of the internet. you spend so much time on it #it can suck less!#probably other people do not want to cry when interacting with annoying cluttered UIs with twenty different buttons none of which seem #to be the thing they need #but if you do: you can just do this *once* and then all of the buttons you never need will never bother you again #my school class portal is almost useable now it's incredible #i *will* provide before and after screenshots if anyone asks #(anyway. I have been on a kick of making the tools I regularly use at actually work for me lately #and have once again been reminded how important this is)#Make The Internet Great (or at least tolerable) Again

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pictureday2005 · 5 months

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i dont need therapy or medication i need it to be 2007. i need it to be my full time job to learn and explore and be curious about the world around me again

#crayon on envelope #i cant do any of that shit when i gotta have a job #i really miss when all i had to do was go to school #like i didnt realize how good i had it at the time #go in for like six hours and still have time and sunlight to do what i wanted when i got home #weekends off where all your friends Also have it off so you can organize hanging out #the whole summer to yourself #honestly i feel like id be doing so much better psychologically if i could have summer vacation again lol #bc at least then i was working towards something #just gotta get through the year so i can enjoy my summer #now its like. why am i even doing all of this #why is my only goal to suffer till i get a paycheck #and i dont even get to keep most of it #pointless luv litchrally pointless

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aibyoutachi · 6 months

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its still freaking pocky day here

#my art #this weird little wawa angry + lip pouty expression on yo/suke is very cute to me #so i drew it twice haha #any excuse to draw sou/yo kissy #anyways i was gonna draw a comic which is what the first thing is taken from #then i thought “oh man a comic is too much”#but then i had a bad day so i drew the second thing anyways instead of doing my work #but the comic had like #chi/e and yuki/ko there too #so this is a lot easier to draw for me #because it's just sou/yo being all yaoi #also i want to stop clogging up the tags so i'm gonna start censoring myself lol #5*0*u*y*0 #man i love my OTP #it's wild to think i have a legit OTP now #i never had one before... sou/yo is an anomaly #a spike in the smooth line of my zero contribution to any fandom ive ever been in HAHA #also whenever i draw them being all lovey dovey i am in my mind imagining them in like. college or something #(disregard the fact that he's in his school uniform there)#okay im done writing an essay #whoever read this far i love you i love you i give u a kiss i hope ur having a good day

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disposal-blueeee · 6 months

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halloween thing i drew for an art trade with @cherry-207 ! she asked for edgar and scri dressed as angel and devil . you can see her part here !

edgar vargas belongs to jhonen vasquez

scriabin belongs to @zarla-s

#hello . uhhhhhhhhhhh #UHHH WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN I SWEAR #i know i haven't posted a thing since like A MONTH AND I'M SORRY BUT i have a really nice excuse for this . yes .#right after posting devi's drawing my mom BROKE HER FOOT ?? WOAH !#and idk maybe i was sad or . stressed because i had to do a bunch of things my mom used to take care of and it was really stressing #this + school stuff + a drawing a day + some other things pretty much started killing me #and suddenly i was getting hives every single day after 11.30pm . yeah . it was TERRIBLE #so uh . i had to stop doing some stuff for my own wellbeing . like . drawing . for example #but it worked !#now i just have a bunch of mosquito bites on my hands . they seem to like them .#OH SO well um YEAH DRAWING #an art trade with one of my friends !!!! drawing this was honestly so fun #as you can see this is from october 25th . but i wanted to wait for brusk to finish her piece before posting it #te quedó precioso emily . valió totalmente la pena la espera . tqm #edgar's costume looked so boring next to scriabin's #he looked way prettier with wings but if i wanted to add them i would have to erase 90% of scriabin and he came out so pretty to do that #so . instead of making him wear something pretty and detailed like scri's costume i had to make him wear something you could see and think #“ oh yeah that's an angel ”#i explained this to brusk after showing her the drawing and she said #“ if you think about it . him having a traditional costume fits his character "#and i was like OH #ACTUALLY YEAH THAT'S COOL #anyways i really like this one . the colors are so pretty . i finally found a way to make my colors warm and pretty .#WELL UH THAT'S TOO MANY TAGS BYE #vargas #zarla s #vargas zarla #scriabin vargas #edgar vargas

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figofswords · 17 days

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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

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maeamian · 6 months

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When I was a young excited physics student I went down to my advisor and asked for a job in a lab. Those of you who are in the sciences may recognize this as exceedingly common, most schools with science departments will hire undergrads for their labs both to give the undergrads experience and to have someone comparatively cheap to do the least skilled labor in those labs.

For me, the lab I was sent to was one doing cool photonics projects and I was assigned to a guy who was doing the theoretical modeling for them and I got put on a side project for them to develop a method to double check their results using Monte Carlo simulations.

Put bluntly, I toiled away in the little cubicle they had me in for about half a year before I transferred to a different school without ever having produced anything of any particular value other than a Monte Carlo simulation whose temperature readings were not taking into account the existence of a heat sink and therefore got overwhelmed by thermal photons in a completely inaccurate and unhelpful way.

Ultimately, many tasks, farmed out like this in a speculative way to undergrads, fail, certainly it's not exceptional that mine did and I learned a lot about the process in the process, so it wasn't wasted time for me, but it produced absolutely nothing the lab could use to further its results.

This is where it turns from a little anecdote about my work history into a morality tale, because what I have thus far deliberately failed to tell you is that the lab I was assigned to is a provider of radar services to the US Military. Had I produced anything of any value whatsoever the work I did would have been used by the US military to help with its capacity to deliver bombs. This is, unfortunately, as those of you who are in the sciences may recognize, also exceedingly common. Luckily, and through no foresight or moral thinking of my own, simply the inexperience of youth, I produced nothing of value but view the path they tried to set me down as a grim warning of what might have been.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, the harm I might have done was not done by me, although I'm also sure was done without my help. They didn't need it to be me they just needed someone with basic calculus knowledge who wouldn't think too hard about the connection between the work and the world, and they were happy enough that particular warm body was me.

So this is my plea, if you're young and getting involved in the sciences because you're passionate about knowledge and understanding our place in the universe. When you go to get that job in that lab that's such a good stepping stone to the next thing you want to do, take a second and look into where that lab's funding is coming from. If it turns out it's the military, maybe then take another second and really deeply consider what kind of thing your work can be used to do and if you would like some of the most bloodthirsty people on the planet to be able to do that thing because of your help.

I got lucky that I didn't help, but I'm hoping that with this warning you might be able to not help on purpose which is a greater moral good than what I managed.

#IDK been thinking about this a lot recently for obvious reasons #I should've known better at the time too to be clear I was just blinded by excitement #If I'd stayed at that school and that lab and got to the level where I could contribute #They would have happily sent me to the Raytheon office down the street #Where I would've been well paid as my soul chipped away at itself #And I will never not resent the structure of the system that had that future in mind for me #I feel extra foolish for having nearly fallen for it considering my grandfather's history as a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists #Which is in part because he didn't talk much about that with us grandkids in large part because we weren't old enough early enough #There's a lot I wish he could've talked to me about now that I'm old enough to really understand it #But back to the point tell your advisor 'I'm not comfortable working in a military lab do you have any other options'#That's what I wish I'd said #Meanwhile my dad (the legend) claims to have cost the military millions of hours of productivity and credibly so

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frogs-with-tea · 3 months

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school is kinda brutal rn, and I have a lot of cosplay stuff to work on for a convetion im going to, but I did start this wip based off of the ideas from this post. I don't know if i want to keep working on it so I'm sharing what I have now. Another comic half drawn and never finished *sigh*

#my art #one piece #zosan #comic wip #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #i was excited about this but now im burnt out about it #probably just cus i have so much school work to catch up on and cosplays to sew #and transfer applications to submit #so this was fun when I start spontaneously working on it #but now I want to make two more pages to complete it and my mind is like. no. rejected #bleh #maybe i shouldn't post my half finished stuff and just let them marinate until i can get to them #but i do really like what i was able to draw #and i think posting it will remove it from my mind

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klanced · 8 months

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katie your lawyer au tags have me on my knees I never thought guys in suits doing stuff would seem interesting but wow…wow. your mind

Thank u Anon this AU is incredibly indulgent for me.......... ok time 4 more world-building.

I think @heynhay's original idea of Keith & Lance working together at the same firm is best. For both plot reasons but also for my own morale LOL

So everyone works at a fairly large private firm that splits its practice and has some of its associates doing profit-driven law (i.e. corporate or finance) which subsidizes the public interest/service work that the other associates do.

The firm is like "Altea & Daibazaal LLP" or something. Yes I am implying that the firm was started by Alfor and Zarkon. Yes I am implying that Allura and Lotor are nepo babies.

I know I originally said that Keith and Lance were law school rivals but I've changed my mind... (RIP to the law school rivalry dynamics

Instead I'm making it so that Keith and Lance are the same age but Lance has been practicing longer because he went straight into law school after college. Whereas Keith started working after college and got like a Master's degree in Social Work or something before deciding on law school at 26. (I just think Keith is the kind of person who goes to law school later in life.)

Okay onto the specific Klance dynamics... Keith and Lance are both pushing 30 and are also literally lawyers so they are professional and serious about their work... But there is wiggle room for them to still be rivals :p

Lance and Keith are both junior associates at the firm. Lance has seniority because he's been at the firm longer but he's still a year or so away from formally becoming a senior associate.

Lance really, REALLY wants to make partner and he sees Keith as his biggest threat/rival because Keith is Shiro's little brother, and Shiro recently made partner at the firm, so Lance thinks Keith might be a nepo hire. Also some of the senior associates recently left the firm so now Lance is stuck showing Keith the ropes and he's lowkey super bitter about it.

Basically TLDR Lance starts off Not Liking Keith at all for various real or imagined reasons and begins a work rivalry with him. Keith doesn't actually GAF about making partner because he's only planning on working at the firm for a few years to help pay off his student loans, but Lance doesn't know that. However, Keith is a naturally very competitive person, and he also likes having Lance's attention, so Keith immediately goes all in on the rivalry.

Lance, internally: "This Fucking Guy."

Keith, internally: "I am so good at flirting."

The first few months are rough between them. However both are also incredibly productive in their work.

The romcom part of the AU kicks in once the two of them have to start working together on a huge high stakes civil case and they're both like wow.... *twirls hair* he's so competent.............. <3

Anyway misc. things:

TBH I have no idea what kind of law Keith and Lance might private practice... I'm also really torn on what Shiro, Allura, and Hunk would practice hdjsksdhedf

Pidge is hired on a fellowship for either environmental law or data security/privacy law.

Coran does employment law.

Keith went into law school planning on going into public interest/not-for-profit legal aid and swore he would never, ever do corporate law but then he saw his student loans and was like. Hm. Okay maybe some Biglaw is okay. And that's how he ended up at the firm.

Keith:

#lawyer au #voltron #klance #keith #lance #otp: we are a good team #ask #anonymous #katiecanons #the thing is is that like. i want to write them as public interest lawyers soooo bad because that's what i plan on doing.#but the reality is that public interest work is incredibly stressful and depressing and time-consuming #and i genuinely cannot imagine klance having the time/energy to start a relationship if they were both doing civil legal aid #like ngl. i am feeling very discouraged after my first month of law school. i feel very disillusioned by the whole process and the field.#hopefully it's just because i'm stressed and burned out right now and things will become more manageable soon #anyway sorry for not elaborating more on the plot of the au but i have SO much reading left to do

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stinkypeanutbutter · 20 days

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Have some Taylor !! I love her aoosois much she’s such a cutie patootie :33

#Yes she has a gap tooth #I thought it was cute :33 or wait is that a bad thing should I remove it is thst like offensive or #It’s probably not and I just have the urge to always make sure I never do anything remotely upwssting for people #Anyway #put your hand in mine you know that I want to be with you all the time you know that I won’t stop until I make you mine #Take me to your best friends house goin round this roundabout ooooohhh yeahhh take me to your best friends house I loved you then I loved #You now ohhhh yeaaa #I’m just vibing out still this sound slaps AF #maybe I should draw Jeff the killer #Why ? Idk he’s just silly #I lvooviodeee Taylor so much actually she’s so silly and sweet and amaze balls #I want to see her make a robot or like a drone that can potentially help them out #Working on more aiden in dresses things :33 #Tyden art coming soon I just really hate drawing Tyler’s hair I keep giving him a mullet kns #Can you tell I have a theme in my drawings ?#school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard webtoon #taylor hernandez #art

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forourtomorrows · 7 months

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bunch of (mainly yosuke&yu) doodles because somehow when my brain wasn’t drawing the same oc over and over, it was obsessing over a p4 college au

#sorry guys for the lack of posts. but i have a solid argument: school.#i’ll try to post a bit more doodles because that’s all i can do for now #or maybe i’ll work on my writing a bit. anyways.#delislittledrawings #persona 4 fanart #persona 4 golden #persona 4 #p4 #yosuke hanamura #yu narukami #back on the drawings. my silly brain decided it would be SO much better if yosuke and yu just decided to date when they would be in college #like. that internal homophobia thing yosuke has going on isn’t going to disappear in a day. c’mon. let him discover himself with time.

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bunnihearted · 11 days

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lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :((#it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more.#so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

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