#i mean i think one place said they start going through them early april but the other two? just gone and no contact | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbrissonn · 9 months

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𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭? - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐫 𝐳𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬

summary: in which trevor broke up with you at the end of the season because of his own insecurity, but what happens when he's back in anaheim and he's had a little too much to drink

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting

warnings: slight smut, angst, fluff, swearing (i think), not proofread

pairing: trevor zegras x reader

wc: 4.9k (including lyrics)

a/n: based on the song bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo

guts masterlist

Hey

You’re eyes scanned the bar as you, along with your group of friends, walked into the place. The loud music filling your ears, making you grimace slightly. This was your first time going out since your break up with Trevor at the end of his first full NHL season, back in April. He had made the decisions to end your relationship only hours before going on his last road trip of the season, and when he came back home a couple of days later, all your things were gone.

You hadn’t tried to reach out to him when he left, instead choosing of just leaving and moving back into your parent’s house for the summer. Your friends were with you everyday, not wanting the end of your year long relationship to destroy like your previous breakup did. They understood that you were in the mood to go out every night, or any night at all, so movie nights, walks on the beach, ice cream runs were a daily thing.

Eventually, in early July, you started moving on from him, he hadn’t bothered to reach out to you either, so you had no choice but to do so. Slowly but surely, you started spending more time outside of your house, something your parents were grateful for. Then, you found yourself your own apartment, still close to home, but not too close to where Trevor lived so you wouldn't have to run into him in the store or on the streets.

Now here you were, October only a couple of days away, standing at a bar with a bright smile on your face as your friends talked about all the drama they heard from your high school days, which couple were still together, which ones weren’t, some of them were now married with kids, something that shocked you a bit since you were only 21, but if that’s what they wanted, good on them, you thought.

Haven’t heard from you in a couple of months

But I’m out right now and I’m all fucked up

And you’re callin’ my phone and you’re all alone

And I’m sensing some undertone

And I’m right here with all my friends

But you’re sending me your new address

And I know we’re done, I know we’re through

But, God, when I look at you

As the morning hours approached, it was safe to say you were completely drunk, somehow this casual night out, had turned into you guys celebrating going into your last year of college, meaning way more drinks were bought than expected.

You were all sitting in a booth, laughs echoing, when you felt your phone buzz in the pocket of your jeans shorts. You struggled a bit, but eventually, you got your phone out, squinting your eyes to see who was calling you.

❌trevor❌

You let out a sigh watching your phone ring until his contact disappeared, and then voicemail notification popped up. You knew you couldn’t do this to yourself, you shouldn’t, but you wanted to. So, you excused yourself, claiming you needed to use the bathroom, of course some of your friends suggested they came with you, not wanting you to be alone. But you assured them you’d be fine.

“Hey, it’s me. I… Uh, it’s been a while.” His voice echoed through the speaker of your phone, making you bit your lips as you heard his voice for the first time since you two broke up. “I hope you’re doing good, I really do.” He continued, his voice shaky a bit. Before he said anything else, you heard him sip on a drink and let out a sigh. “I don’t know if you’re busy or whatnot, maybe you’re having a night with your parents or something.” He added, sipping once again on his drink, and now you could tell he was a bit tipsy by the way his words were slurred a bit. “But I was wondering if you’d wanna meet up? Talk a bit about what happened. I’ll text you my new place, come if you want.”

And then it went silent, but he hadn’t hung-up, after about ten seconds of silence, you decided to hang up, telling yourself he was probably done and just miss clicked the red button on his phone. You stayed in the bathroom stall for a bit, wondering what you should do. You wanted nothing more than to see him, talk to him, get some closure about why he ended your relationship, but you didn’t want to get even more heartbroken than you already were.

When you made it back to the booth, you knew what you were going to do. Was it a smart decision? No, absolutely not. But did it seem like a good one to your drunk self? Yes, absolutely.

My brain goes, “Ah”

Can’t hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

As you announced your departure to your friends, a lot of them suggested to go with you, make sure you stay safe, but you convince them you’d be fine, only having a couple of minutes to walk and promising them you’d call them if anything happened.

As you started your adventure towards your desired place, your brain started to come to it’s sense. This was horrible idea, but you didn’t care. You craved to hear him, see him, smell his cologne that you adored so much, you need him. So, you just ignored what your head was telling you, choosing instead to follow your heart and what it wanted.

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it’s fine

As you got closer and closer, the anxiety of seeing him again started to settle in. What if he decided you took too long and left? What if he had another girl over and asked you to come just to rub it in your face? No, he wouldn’t that. Trevor could be an asshole on the ice sometimes, and to other guys in the bar if he saw them let their eyes linger on your body a little too long for his liking, but he wouldn’t do anything like that.

That’d be such a dick move from him, plus, you were still in contact with Jamie, and from what you understood through the boy’s weird texts, Trevor hadn’t seen any other girl yet. So, truly, what was the worst that could happen, right?

Yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

The biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

Deciding that at least informing your parents of where you were going, or more like who you were going to see was the least you could do. That way if your friends went over to check on you, they’d call your parents to see if you had gone to their house, they’d know of the horrible decision you had made the previous night.

Your mother wasn’t too fond of your idea, but she had met Trevor, he was a sweetheart, he knew you weren’t in any danger. If anything, she was over the moon that you had decided to finally go see the boy and talk about what had happened.

Trevor had met your parents countless of times during your relationship, your dad being a big hockey fan, even though his favorite team was the Kings and not the Ducks. Every time you’d mention coming to visit them for the day, Trevor coming along with you, they’d almost jump from excitement, happy that their daughter had finally found a good boy for herself. They were a little cautious of him at first, doing their researches online before meeting him and seeing not so good things about him and his reputation of being a playboy, but all that worry quickly washed away when they caught the two of you sitting on the front porch watching the sunset. The window in the living room giving them a perfect view of the two of you, wide smiles on your faces as they saw Trevor looking at their daughter the way your father looked at your mother, pure love in their eyes.

No, your mother was more scared of you walking the streets of Anaheim all alone in the dark, and you understood her. The world wasn’t a safe place, neither during dark or light, especially for young woman your age. The fact that you were drunk didn’t help either, so you decided to stay on the phone with her until you made it safely to Trevor’s place.

Now I’m gettin’ in the car, wreckin’ all my plans

I know I should stop, but I can’t

And I told my friend I was asleep

But I never said where (in his sheets)

And I pull up to your place on the second floor

And you’re standing, smiling at the door

And I’m sure I’ve seen much hotter men

But I really can’t remember when

Your hand were shaking slightly as you knocked on his door, making sure not to make too much noise to wake up his neighbors, but enough so he could hear you. You heard movement behind the door, along with the sound of the TV getting paused.

Then, the next thing you knew, Trevor was standing in front of you, a beer bottle in hand. A wide grin appeared on his face as your eyes meet for the first time in months. He had gotten a haircut, thankfully, the last time you saw him, his hair kept covering his eyes and he was always complaining about it, but refused to get it cut anywhere other than his hairdresser back home.

Suddenly, all the emotions you had been holding for the past couple of months rose within you. All the anger, hurt and love you felt towards him were all present inside you, making you extremely confused as to how you felt.

“You came.” He stated, his eyes growing wide as he realized what was going on, you were here.

“I did.” You confirmed, more to yourself than to him. Suddenly, you regretted coming here, but at the same time, you were so grateful to see him. Almost as if seeing him just confirmed that you’re relationship truly happened, that it was real and wasn’t just something you made up in your sleep, that he was real.

“Come in.” He said, opening up his door completely for you to walk in. There was still a couple of boxes in the corner of his living room, and there was barely any furniture, meaning he hadn’t been back for a while.

As the two of you walked into his living room, it was the first time you truly saw him. The lights in the hallway were dimed down considering the time, and all the lights in his kitchen and entry way were turned off. His skin was tanned, his muscles were more defined than they were back in spring, but one of the first thing you had noticed was his arm, more specifically his left one. It was now home to not one, but two tattoos.

You knew he was planning on getting some soon, it was something he talked about a lot during your relationship, but he never figured out what to get.

“A spider? Seriously?” You laughed as the two of you sat down on his couch. He gave you a weird look before realizing you were looking at his tattoos.

“Spiderman.” He answered with shrug, making you roll your eyes with a smile before letting your eyes drift over to the TV. Your heart dropped slightly as you realized what he was watching, Shameless, your favourite show. He had never watched it before the two of you started dating, and you quickly made sure to make him watch all the episodes, gasping when he informed you he’d never seen it before. You were about to mention it to him, but the screen went black before any words could leave your mouth.

“So, how you been?” He asked, his words a little slurred. You looked over at him, only to see he was already looking at you with a way too familiar look. A look he always had on his face when he’d be talking to you, or at any moment really, one that was reserved just for you and no one else. Only making you wonder even more why he had ended things between the two of you.

My brain goes, “Ah”

Can’t hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

“Seriously? You break up with me for no reason, then five months later you call me, drunk, asking me to come over to talk, and all you have you say is ‘how you been’?” You asked, the anger in you taking control. Trevor looked down at his lap at your words. He knew calling you was a bad idea, he didn’t even know why he decided to do it in the first place. Sure, he had been thinking about it ever since he walked out the door in April, apologize to you a million times and do anything you’d want him to if he meant he could be yours again, but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t break your heart even more than he already did.

“Listen, Bug, what I did, what I said, it was the worst mistake of my life.” He started, the nickname he had given slipping past his lips. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened and I was so stupid to end it. And, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and during our relationship, but being your boyfriend was never one. I am so in love with you―”

“Then why’d you end it, Trevor?” You cut him off, your voice stern as you avoided his gaze, scared that tears would start to form in your eyes if you looked over at him.

“Because you deserve better than me. You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met, and I know that you don’t think you are, but to me you are. You’re kind to everyone, you’re smart, you care about everyone even if they’ve done bad things, you’re perfect. And I am… am just me. I fuck up everything good that happens in my life, I hurt people without even realizing it, I am not a good person, Y/N/N. You deserve better than me.” He confessed, his voice low, almost scared that you’d hear him. After he was done, he chugged the rest of his beer before adding one more thing. “I am not good enough for you.”

“Says who?”

“Everyone. Every time you’d meet someone I know, they’d always say they didn’t understand what someone like you saw in me, like I wasn’t good enough to be your boyfriend. All my family and friends, they all love you, but they don’t understand why you’re with me, and honestly, I don’t either.” He admitted, the tone and volume in his voice not changing. You knew Trevor was a bit insecure about himself, scared that he was too high energized that people wouldn’t want to be around him, but you never knew it was this deep.

“Why didn’t you just tell me, Trev?” You asked him, your voice shaky a bit. You start to wonder how long he had been feeling this way, suddenly feeling guilty for not noticing it. The boy next to you scoffed a bit before answering as he opened another beer.

“I didn’t want to burden you with my stupid problems.”

“Trevor… you could never burden me. I care about you, so much―”

“You care about everyone.”

“Yeah, maybe I do, but I don’t care about them the way I care about you, Trevor. You’ve made me feel the best I ever have in years, you’ve helped me over come so many challenges in the last year, you’ve been there for me through everything. The way I care about you, Trev, I can’t even explain it. And I am so, so sorry I didn’t realized that something was wrong and hearing you talk about it makes me feel guilty that when you needed someone to help you, I wasn’t there.”

“You couldn’t of had known―”

“But I should’ve. I should’ve realized, Trev, and I am sorry I didn’t. You were there for me every time I was hurting, and when you were, I wasn’t.”

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

It’s a bad idea right?

Seeing you tonight

Fuck it, it’s fine

Then, the next thing you knew, his lips were on yours, one of his hand cupping your cheek as your eyes grew wide. After a couple of seconds, the boy pulled back, his eyes focused on yours, and you waisted no time pulling him back in for another one.

Minutes later, your tongue met his in the middle, a small gasp leaving his mouth as you bit down on his lip. His other hand was now resting on your waist, holding you close, as one of your hand was holding onto the collar of his shirt tightly while the other was holding onto his neck. Then, both of his hands started making their way down to your thighs, softly rubbing them before picking you up and placing you on his lap, your lips never leaving each other’s.

Soon, his hands made their way back up your body, slipping under the shirt you were wearing, pulling you closer to him. Your mouths separated for split second and you took the opportunity to lift his shirt over his head, wasting no time to attack his necks with small kisses and love bites.

Groans slipped past Trevor’s mouth every time you bit down on the skin under his ear, and even more when you started moving your core over his. Your shit was next, joining his on the floor behind the couch, and this time he was the one to attack your chest. Your hips accelerating every time his mouth got closer and closer to your breasts and soon your bra joined the small pile of clothes.

“Trev!” You moaned as his lips attached around one of your nipples, pulling the hairs on the back of his neck as he did so, a loud groan echoing through his living room. Eventually, his lips left your body, your foreheads now leaning against the other’s, mouths inches apart, as you both grinded on each other, moans leaving both of your mouths. Then, you uttered the three words he had been dying to hear in since April.

“I need you.”

Yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

The biggest lie I ever said

Oh, yes, I know that he’s my ex

But can’t two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

I just tripped and fell into his bed

A grunt left your mouth as your back hit his mattress, his body soon leaning over yours as your lips attached, his hips meeting yours as you whined. You wanted nothing more in that moment than for his pants and underwear to disappear, as well as yours.

“So inpatient.” He mumbled as your lips parted, a smirk plastered on his face.

“Trev.” You whined, your hips leaving the comfort of the mattress to meet his, his smirk only growing even more. The forward waisted no time baring the both of your of your bottoms, creating a new pile of clothes, now in his bedroom instead of the living room.

As the morning hours rolled in, the two of you gave your everything to the other, your bodies, your wants, your heart. It was like you were back to last year, one of the happiest times of your life, spending each second that you could with the love of your life.

It was like April never happened, you had been stuck in time in March, the familiar sent of his cologne filling your nose as you feel asleep in his arms, your head tucked into his chest as his arms wrapped around your figure protectively, scared that you’d disappear and he’d lose all over again. In that moment, you felt true happiness in months, all the heartbreak and tears the boy had caused being forgotten by your undying love for him.

He was yours again, well at least for the night, but you didn’t want it to be just for tonight. You wanted him to be yours forever and always, you didn’t want to go back to how you were mere hours before, heartbroken and hung-up on the boy of your dreams. You had him right there, in your arms, and you weren’t ready to let go, not again. You lost him once, and you weren’t about to lose him twice.

At that moment, you decided that whatever happened when the two of you woke up, no matter how hard Trevor tried, or didn’t, to tell you to just forget it even happened, that it’d be best if the two of you didn’t see each other again, you weren’t gonna let him slip out of your grip without a fight like last time. You didn’t care if it took him days, or weeks to understand that there’s not other man you’d rather be with, having already decided that if you couldn’t have him, you were the spend the rest of your life alone. But, you needed him to understand that he was perfect for you, and that he was all you ever wanted.

Maybe he’ll never be yours again, but you’ll always be his.

Oh, yes, I know that he’s my ex

Can’t two people reconnect?

My brain goes, “Ah”

Can’t hear my thoughts

“Morning!” The Zegras boy exclaimed as you walked into his living room the next morning, well almost afternoon. All he was wearing was a plain pair of grey sweatpants, his boxer peaking over his waistband slightly. You had allowed yourself to dig through his closet, finding the pair of sweatpants and hoodie that were yours for most of the relationship before leaving his bedroom.

“Hi.” You whispered as you sat down on his couch. The boy sent you a small smile before throwing one of his arm on the back of the couch, something he always did.

“I just ordered breakfast, got you the same always.”

“Thank you.” You responded, and then a silence settled between the two of you as a news channel played on the TV. “How’s your head?”

“Huh?”

“You… you looked like you drank a lot last night.” You mumbled, keeping your eyes focused on the TV as you felt his looking at you.

“‘M fine. Had a little headache when I woke up, but I took an advil.” He answered, his eyes still looking at you as you nodded. “This is the part where you tell me we need to talk, isn’t it?” He added after a couple of seconds, another nod coming from you. He had a feeling about what you were about to say, and it wasn’t something he wanted to hear.

He had spent the whole morning prepping himself mentally to not break down if the words “mistake” and “forgot” left your mouth, telling himself he couldn’t just believe you’d come back after how he ended things previously. One of his solutions was avoiding eye contact, so he looked at the same place as you did, straight ahead.

“I get, I get that opening up and talking about things like insecurities is hard, Trev. It’s scary, you think people will judge you or making fun of you, of use it against you, trust me I know how it feels, but when you’re in a relationship with someone, that’s the kind of you stuff you can’t just hid from them. Especially if it makes you want to break up with them. That’s what I am here for, I am a safe space, Trev, nothing you tell me about how you feel or how you think will ever make me see you differently.

I love everything about you, Trevor, every little flaws about you just make me love you even more than I already do. To me, you’re perfect, Trevor. Everything about you is perfect to me, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, you’re the one for me, I know you are. And I get that hearing people say that you’re not good enough for me can be hard, but trust me when I saw, you’re perfect for me.” You stated.

His heart dropped as your words filled his ears, in a good way of course. You remembered, even though you were drunk, you still remembered his confession from the previous night. Just as he was about to say something, the doorbell rang and he quick to push himself off the couch, but before he could take a step, your hand gripped his. His head turned to look at you, only when his gaze met yours, tears were pooling in your eyes.

“Don’t runaway again, Trev, please.” You begged, your voice shaky and broken. You knew him, if he walked away right now, your conversation would never continue, he’d come back in the living room and pretend that it never happened, he’d runaway from it instead of facing it, just like he did last time. He hesitated for a bit, your eyes staying locked together, before he nodded slightly and sat back down.

“It hurts. When people say all those things about me not being good enough for you, or that you could do so much better than me. I hate it.” He admitted, his eyes looking down at the floor, your hand still gripping his as you moved closer.

“Trev, look at me.” You said, and when his head didn’t move, you grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at you. His eyes were watering as he blinked repeatedly, trying to hold his tears in. “I don’t care what people say about us, you’re way more than enough for me, and yeah, maybe I could do better, but I don’t want better, I want you.”

“Maybe you could do better?” He questioned, a little confused as to why you would chose to say that to him.

“Someone that doesn’t have only three functioning brain cells.” You joked, making the boy laugh a little.

“You love it.”

“I do. I really do, Trevor. Everything about, all your flaws and everything, I love.” You spoke, your voice soft and low. Your hand that previously grabbed his chin now cupping his cheek, a soft smile appearing on his face.

“I am sorry.” He said as a tear fell from his eyes, which you were quick to wipe away before wrapping both your arms around his neck, his going around your waist as you held each other close.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, love.” You whispered in his ear, only making his smile grow wider. In that moment, he realized that no matter issue he was dealing with, either from hockey or his personal life, you’d always be there for him, just like he always wanted to be there for you.

“Girlfriend?” He asked, making you pull your head away from his neck, but keeping your arms around him.

“Boyfriend.” You confirmed with a wide smile on your face, an identical ones plastered on Trevor’s face before the two of you leaned in and your lips locked together. Unlike all your kissed from the previous night, this one was slow and full of love. It wasn’t a quick, rushed and hungry one, no, it was one that only true lovers shared.

Thoughts

Blah

Thoughts

Blah

To say your mom was excited when you told her the news that you and Trevor were back together would be an understatement. A loud squeal came from the speaker of your phone, making you pull your phone away from your ear quickly as Trevor sent you a weird look. Before you even had time to say anything else to her, she hung out, claiming she had to go tell the good news to your father.

As for your friends, they were a little iffy about the situation, scared that the boy would break your heart once again, but eventually, they came around, realizing how in love the two of you were.

Trevor no longer ran away from his insecurities, now confronting them and talking about them with you, something you were extremely grateful for. All of his friends were over the moon when they heard that you were back together, tired of always hearing the Zegras boy mop over you.

As for you, you were the happiest you had ever been, everyday Trevor made sure to tell and show how much he loves and appreciates you, spoiling you with hugs and kisses.

Your life was perfect again.

#bri writes #trevor zegras #trevor zegras fluff #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras angst #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras smut #trevor zegras imagines #guts series

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autistpride · 20 days

Text

Autism Acceptance

Prompt day 3: April 3

Historical AU

Word count: 1010

@wolfstarmicrofic

Remus sat on the wall that he was told to sit on. He wanted to be good. He did. He sat there like he was told and didn't move.

His da had woken with him early that day and like they had for the last few weeks, walked the trail from the house to the forest.

But this time they turned down a different trail. Remus hadn't wanted to go down that path, it wasn't the one they always did that eventually looped back towards their small home.

Yet his father insisted with a tight hand on his forearm until Remus eventually followed.

But he started to get bored and he needed to wiggle. He wanted to go, to go back to his mam and his wooden animals.

That was until the bird landed next to him. It strutted around for a bit and then started to walk away. Remus wanted to follow the Raven that was walking around. Where was it going? What was it doing? Look! How pretty were its dark feathers when the sun's rays danced over them.

So he did. He scooted to the edge of the wall and let his legs dangle for a moment before dropping to the ground. He landed awkwardly and made a loud yelp before he started to follow the bird. Getting down low to see at the same level as it was.

"Who's there?" A voice called out from the trees.

“I think you're hearing things, Sirius. No one is there,” another voice replied.

“Sirius is just wanting an adventure James,” another voice replied.

“James, no I heard something right through here,” Sirius said and rustling of leaves and crunch of sticks could be heard before a person pushed their way into the small clearing followed immediately by another.

“See! I was right!” Sirius crowed.

The loud shout caused Remus to scream and cover his ears.

“Yes yes you were right. Don't boast Sirius,” James said back as he gave Sirius a slight shove.

Peter laughed loudly, holding his ribs.

Remus pushed himself until his back was against the wall and he curled up, leaving hands over his ears and his eyes darting back and forth in fear.

Suddenly it was eerily silent.

“Sirius, we shouldn't be here. This place is forbidden. It's for the fae.” Peter said in a hurried whisper trying to pull Sirius back out of the clearing.

“Then why is that boy there?” Sirius asked as he ignored James' warnings and moved towards the boys huddled on the ground.

“My da explained that this is where the peasants leave their children that are changelings. If they leave them here, the fae will give them back their own child that they took and take theirs back” James said, trying to tug on Sirius' cloak.

“You mean people just leave their kids here and they…” Sirius started leaving his question unspoken as his eyes widened.

James nodded softly. “They really think that and if we interfere, when they come back tomorrow to get his body and it's not here they will be stoned and then cast out of the village as proof that they were not worthy of their child or even the changeling one. That they are cursed.”

“But why would anyone think their child is a changeling?” Sirius asked as he slowly crept closer to the boy on the ground.

James shrugged but stood frozen to his spot.

Peter whispered, “they don't they just know something's wrong with them and leave them here because they aren't right.”

“Well that's really wrong,” Sirius exclaimed before bounding over to Remus, almost puppy-like.

Sirius cocked his head and looked at the boy. He looked no different than him, his brother Regulus, or James. He just was poor. His clothes were basically rags and his skin was dirty. His curls were wild and untamed and his hair was caked in mud. When the boy looked up at Sirius, his eyes were almost golden and Sirius gasped. They were the prettiest eyes he had ever seen.

Remus started at Sirius and Sirius stared back.

Sirius smiled and Remus grinned back.

“He's coming back with us” Sirius eventually announced and stood to his feet.

“Is that such a good idea?” Peter questioned

“Aye!” Sirius said with a grin and took the peasant boy's hand and pulled him to his feet. “Sirius. James. Peter.” Sirius said pointing to himself and then James and then Peter. The boys waved their hands slightly when their name was called out. “Do you have a name? What are you called?”

Remus didn't reply instead he kept his hands over his ears and looked around before staring intensely at Sirius and then rocking on the balls of his feet. The sun shone through the trees and landed in Remus' eyes. He squinted and moved his head to try to get away from the brightness.

“That's why he was left” Peter said pointedly.

“Nonsense!” Sirius exclaimed. “He just doesn't light the sun in his eyes.”

“We are also rather boisterous,” James added.

Sirius nodded and grinned and lowered his voice while he unclasped his cloak and wrapped it around Remy's shoulders, pulling the hood up to shield his eyes from the glaring light.

Remus slowly lowered his hands. He kept rocking but his hands started to move up and down by his torso.

“See he's happy now!” Sirius said in an excited whisper.

“Remus” Remus said repeating himself two, three, and then four times.

“Is that your name?” James asked.

“Pleased to meet you Remus” Sirius said. “Come on Remus, let's go have tea.”

Sirius took Remus' hand and left the clearing.

James looked at Peter who shrugged and they both followed after the pair.

No one questioned when the little lord brought home a peasant boy and insisted he would live with them from now on.

Despite the rumours that circulated, no one who knew the pair would ever say that Remus was unintelligent. Sirius just did all the talking and Remus, well he did all the thinking.

#mauraders #my writing #wolfstar #autistic remus #autism acceptance #autism acceptence month

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jungle-angel · 1 year

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A Rancher and His Boy (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: Bob and his dad both show Auggie the ropes the same way Joe did for Bob

“Bud, c’mon, we’ve gotta hustle!” Bob called to Auggie.

The little bespectacled three year old waddle-ran down the porch steps and into the grass, holding onto the wicker handbasket Bob used to collect the eggs from the coop. He followed Bob and Joe as they walked along through the fields, the morning still a little bit chilly as the April weather was beginning to turn warm. The horses grazed in the fields along with some of the cattle, but that didn’t mean that the other farm critters wouldn’t be hanging around.

“Alright, hopefully that crotchety old bastard’s still asleep,” Joe chuckled.

A crow from the roof of the coop made Bob groan a little. “If he pecks Auggie, I swear that bird is gonna end up on the dinner table.”

Joe laughed a little before they finally arrived at the coop, the hens all making their way down the little plank and into the grass where they could peck away for bugs if they wished. Bob took a handful of chicken feed from the sack near the door, almost all of them flocking straight to it and pecking furiously at the ground.

“Smokey!” Auggie cried happily as the big rooster practically flew from the roof of the coop, flapping his wings and following Auggie like an obedient dog.

Bob gave his father a quizzical look. “How?” he asked.

“Don’t ask,” Joe told him. “Animals can be weird sometimes.”

Bob undid the hook latch and led Auggie inside when the door swung open, the smell of sawdust, hay and chickens hanging heavy in the air. Bob carefully inspected each and every egg in the nesting boxed to be sure none of them had any chicks growing inside. The ones that didn’t would be sold or eaten for breakfast, while those that did were carefully placed back in the nests.

“Alright bud, go get some,” Bob gently instructed.

Auggie reached into the boxes that were almost floor level while Smokey seemed to watch him carefully from his perch. Bob once again, carefully inspected the eggs and in no time, they had the entire basket full of eggs.

“Any chance we’re getting a slot at the farmer’s market?” Bob asked.

“You bet your ass we’re getting it,” Joe remarked, adjusting the black stetson cowboy hat on his head. “I’m not gonna have a fridge that’s just full of eggs. We’ll sell’em for two bucks a a dozen and leave it at that.”

Bob and his father bantered back and forth before they returned the egg basket to the house. You had just come out with a mug of fresh coffee, still a little bit sleepy, but happy to see your husband, father-in-law and your son going about to start the day’s work.

You kissed Bob right on the lips before handing him his coffee. “Did he have fun?” you asked.

“More than you think,” Bob said, his smile broadening. “Cows still need to be milked though. I think the sow’s gonna have her litter soon because her mate’s going nuts.”

“Well, until then, enjoy yourselves.”

You knew that Bob would. It may have been early in the morning, but you two were out to enjoy it together.

#top gun maverick #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #lewis pullman #lewis pullman x reader

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likeadevils · 5 months

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Interlude

In between the 1989 timeline and the reputation timeline, I'd like to take a brief moment to chronicle all the things Taylor said about her plans (or lack thereof) for her next album in 2015 and early 2016.

February 3 & 4, 2015: Taylor is photographed at Catchlight Studios. I can not find any record of them producing any song for any artist ever and Google calls the a portrait studio, but the Mirror did call them a recording studio when Taylor was seen at it.

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around (Author's Note: Taylor nearly doubled her discography between 1989 and the end of 2020). "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...] “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment. “I would really like to take a little time to learn things,” Swift says. “I have lots of short-term goals.”

#timeline*#this one's short and sweet yall

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asurrogateblog · 22 hours

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Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

#it’s interesting re-examining how my relationship to The Wall has changed over time.#strange how you can love something as a kid but not really personally relate to it. and then you grow up and suddenly you’re like...#...oh shit. there -must- have been a door there when I came in #//#that makes it sound less fun than its been tho #god. i've had so much fun. im actually glad i took so long to get into band lore so I could learn all this -now-#i had kind of worked myself into a (very silly) mental spiral of 'what if I've run out of new things to discover'#and it's been so. idk... healing for me to realize all of this has been here the whole time #(clenching my teeth: ....emotional vulnerability....)

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its-wabby-stuff · 5 months

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The Day the Resistance Fell

1300 hours. Resistance meetings. Led by Master Leonardo. Greeted by little engagement. Everyone left is just tired.

1428 hours. The meetings ended early. People returned to their free time. A couple returned to embracing each other, soaking in whatever moments they may have left together. Miwa beat her family in poker, likely for the 50th time, one member of their party missing. She’d lost family too. Commander O’Neil was talking to Big Mama and Sensei, who must’ve noticed Casey Jr’s stares as he excused himself and walked over to the kid.

“Case.”

“Sensei.”

“What’chu working on?”

“I’m just- looking through old files.”

“Is that right?” He took a seat next to him, pulling his real arm over Casey’s shoulder, and sinking comfortably into the wall. “You find out all of Donnie’s secrets yet?” He looked over with a smirk.

“Not all of them. There’s a lot on this thing.”

“Keep digging, and let me know if you find anything really good.”

“There's been a lot on here from before I was born.”

“Oh yeah, those were wild days. Never had a moment like this back then. We were always on the run from something- I don’t think I slept much those first years.” He spoke as he pulled his mask over his eyes and let out a big yawn, bringing his full weight down atop Casey.

“Hey, no sleeping on the job,” Casey jabbed him in the side.

“Gah.” He pulled away and lifted up his mask to see a big smirk on Casey’s face. “You’re asking for it little man.”

Casey tried to make a break for it but was pulled back into a bear hug to receive a noogie to the head.

“If you’re bringing it, I’m gonna give it right back, old man,” and Casey pulled Sensei’s mask right around his head.

“Oh this old trick?” Leo laughed. Casey tried wriggling out of his grasp. “Ohohoho, you’re not getting away that easily.”

“How about a new trick then?” Casey smiled, tapping a button on Leo’s arm that forced him to release the kid.

“No fair, that’s cheating!” Leo shouted as Casey crawled away.

“I thought it was ‘using my surroundings.’”

Leo raised his finger to retaliate, but came up with nothing. “Don’t think one arm left means I can’t beat you,” and Leo picked himself off the floor and charged for Casey again. Casey ran off laughing, looking back as Leo chased him. “Oh- Casey!”

He ran straight into an adult, and back toward Leo, who managed to catch him before he hit the floor. “You gotta watch where you're going, Case. You shouldn’t look back while you’re running.”

Casey rubbed his nose.

“Master Leonardo!” It was the angry guy. He was breathing heavily and looked terrified. “Krang! Spotted just west of here.”

“How many?”

“20 maybe 30, and they’re heading this way.”

“Sound the alarm, I want this place to be locked down!” Leo ordered the space, causing people to jump into action. “Let’s gear up an-“

A loud crash caused rubble to fall from the ceiling, and the metal walls to creak. Sensei pulled Casey close and steadied them both. Then the red lights began to blare, but no sound was heard.

“What the hell was that?” Leo looked over to the man who had brought the news. “I thought you said they were heading this way, not right on top of us!” Another thunk and people began to duck for cover. “How’d they get here so fast?”

Casey left Leo’s side to grab the things he had abandoned against the wall for the sake of fun. His mask and his hockey stick. When he turned around, Sensei had left the room. Casey started toward the door.

There was another crash, and more debris began to fall. Casey was stopped by two hands on his shoulder, pulling him back and turning him around.

“Casey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine Commander O’Neil. Where’d Sensei go?”

“He followed the scout to the observation deck.”

“I’m gonna go after him!”

He turned away, but April’s hold held firm, “Wait, Casey. I need you to come with me!”

April was sure to keep Casey close to her as they ran through the base. Others bolted past them in full gear, guns blazing, assortments of different weapons ready, and making their way out into the fight. Him and the Commander only headed deeper into the base.

“Where are we going, Commander?”

“Somewhere you’ll be safe.”

“Me?” Casey stopped, “But I can help!”

“I’m sorry, Casey! Leo doesn’t want you near this fight!”

“But-“

“We’ve got to keep moving!” She pulled him along.

“Commander- I can do more! Sensei-“

“Leo needs you to stay safe.” April turned him around, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t do our own thing to help. You got anything in those files with access codes to Donnie’s Helicarrier program?”

Casey gave April a smirk.

“Then let’s kick some Krang ass.” She pounded her fist into her hand.

———————————————————

Just a snippet of something I’m working on.

Miwa, if you don’t know, belongs to @somerandomdudelmao s Apocalyptic Series. This is heavily inspired by that, but when is it not?

#this is a sad story by the way #also this is something I may not end up using completely #but this is still how it started #rottmnt #wabbystuffpost #cass apocalyptic series #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #leonardo #Casey Jones #April #future Leo #future April #CAS fic tag #tmnt #perhaps a gift for CAS #this day in history remains a marvel and a mystery #but maybe this will fill in a little bit of blanks #though nobody seems to be in the right place quite yet #🤭

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felassan · 2 years

Text

Check out Mark Darrah's most recent YouTube video from his channel Mark Darrah On Games, "Dragon Age: Dreadwolf Declares Alpha - What Does It Mean?"

Vid description:

Dragon Age: Dreadwolf has just declared alpha. What does alpha mean? What does it tell us about when they might ship. Rushing this one a bit to be topical. Chapters: 0:00 Hot Takes 0:23 There IS a List 0:52 Open For Test 1:32 Assets EXIST 2:22 Design Bugs vs. Programming Bugs 3:51 It'll be a While 5:02 WHEN? 7:54 Who Signed It? 8:57 Why You Might Push Through 10:01 If You Have Been Doing Triage... 10:55 The Game Awards 11:33 You May All Now Celebrate ... Briefly [source]

In it, he talks about what alpha means for Dreadwolf, in BioWare and at EA, where the project is now, and what we will likely see coming from it in the future. On its potential release window, he said:

"So that means that we are still a long way away from Dragon Age: Dreadwolf being on shelves. Dragon Age: Inquisition was somewhere between six and nine months between alpha declaration and launch. I would desperately hope that they are not trying to compress that and I suspect that they are not for two primary reasons. One, as an industry we are finally trying to come to grips with crunch culture and do something about it, but two, EA is in a post-Anthem world, much more interested in making sure that projects have enough time to be tested qualitatively and have feedback addressed within their development cycle. I know that Gary in his blog post talked about community testing of some sort. I think that's not just empty words, I think they are going to try to figure out a way to put Dreadwolf in front of members of the community, get their feedback and have enough time to address it. So what does that mean for the next little while? Well, I think it means that for sure Dreadwolf is not coming out this calendar year, or this fiscal year. When we're talking fiscal years, for accounting reasons, the end of the fiscal year ends at the end of March of the year that it's in. So we are currently actually in fiscal 23, which will end in March of 2023, and then we will start into fiscal 24 in April 1st of 2023. This game is not shipping in Q3 of FY23, which is now, or Q4 of FY23, which would be early next year. But I also suspect that it will not ship in Q1 of FY24, which would be April, May and June of next year, for a couple of reasons. One, I think that would be still too much of a rush. I don't think that they have started their marketing campaign to the degree that I would suspect that they would have if that was their plan, though they could be going for a very short campaign. Additionally, at EA Q1 is a largely unknown quarter, so while I do think there are some huge advantages potentially to Q1, I don't think they would be taking that risk with Dragon Age at this point, especially given the fact that they're not gonna wanna rush it. So I think that the reality is is that the two potential places that they will be aiming for for Dreadwolf would be either Q2, which would be July, August, September of next year, or, more likely to my mind would be Q3, which is basically right now, so basically a year from now. The reason why I think that Q3 is the most likely is that it's the one that you probably aim at in most cases if you're trying for Christmas. Q2 lets you go for Christmas as well, but at EA in particular, because it's such a sports-dominated publisher, Q2 is largely drowned out by all the work being done to launch the major sports franchises, which all come out in Q2. So to be not a sports title and come out in Q2 you run the risk of being lost in the noise. So I suspect that they will be targeting Q3 of next year. That still gives them the ability to slide into Q4 if they need to - hopefully they won't, because Q4 is terrible for various reasons - but if they're hitting alpha now and they haven't massaged the definition too much, they should be on track to hit a Q3 FY24, a year from now, launch." [source]

On The Game Awards 2022 he added:

"This declaration underlines and strengthens my belief that we are going to see something at The Game Awards in December. It's possible we might actually see something before then but I suspect that we are going to get something pretty big from Dragon Age in December at The Game Awards, and their alpha declaration coming now in late October really just underscores my belief in that. The project has really upped its communication in the last little while, but it's been doing it in a very core fan-focused way. The Game Awards would be the place where they would essentially re-launch, re-announce and go for that larger mainstream attention." [source]

He elaborates in the comments, saying that he thinks we will see DA:D gameplay at TGA, which will be "more edited than [the Dragon Age: Inquisition gameplay that was shown pre-release at PAX] (but more because of the format of the show than anything)". He also says in the comments that he expects that we'll see a new trailer at TGA and that he would expect that it's likely BioWare will tell us a little about the story at TGA.

#dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #anthem #long post #longpost

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thedawningofthehour · 1 year

Note

This may be strange question, but how are Aprils parent dealing with everything going on? How much do they understand what Donnie means to April and how do they still feel about it all?

Guys, there are no strange questions! We're all weirdos here. Embrace it. Love it.

April's parents know the whole scoop by now. At first I just had her tell them because I realized that April was going to be heavily present and it was either constantly reference the various excuses she uses to keep them out of her hair or just make it look like they ignore the shit out of her, and I didn't care for either of those vibes.

I think of April more as a latchkey kid than truly neglected-I mean, yeah, her parents leave her alone a lot, but they've also raised her to handle that responsibly and will absolutely drop everything for her if she needs it. They just work a lot. They knew that April had a group of friends she was very close to that they couldn't meet for whatever reason. And like...they were suspicious, but they also wanted to trust her. (Some people have commented that without context it really looks like Splinter is running a cult, with his color-coded children who don't go to school and aren't vaccinated and shit, and goddamn they are right)

Keep in mind, the story starts mid-March and Mystic Mayhem happened in like late summer/early fall the year before, so there have been mutations happening all over the place for at least six months by the time April tells her parents that the reason they haven't met her friends is because they're mutants. And they're like, "oh thank god." That was the most harmless explanation they could think of. (they didn't actually think that April was in a gang, but like...there's only so many explanations that fit) Also they're New Yorkers. So April tells them that there's a magical city underneath New York and they're just like, "yeah, that makes a lot of sense."

I can't remember how much of this actually made it into the story and how much I cut, but hearing what April had been doing actually really freaked them out. They're proud of her, of course, and they have faith in her capabilities, but they had no idea. I mean, their daughter has a crane license. They didn't know she could do that. It really made them reevaluate their priorities. That's part of the reason why Carol started working on the mutant town up at Todd's-she realized that she was giving so much of her life to her job and it just wasn't worth it. She feels awful for what the Hamatos had to go through due to their mutations and she feels way better spending her time making sure other mutants don't have to go through that.

As far as the boys go-they fucking love them. I wasn't joking when I said that they're socializing parenting. Splinter told them that he's always wanted a daughter and kind of considered April a bonus child, and they were like, "fuck you, we get bonus kids out of the deal too." The boys really activate that Parental Instinct deep inside them, especially after hearing how isolated and neglected they were. (they really don't blame Splinter for this-like, they had one baby and there were two of them, along with extended family/daycare/etc and that shit was still hard. They understand what an absolutely impossible task Splinter had been handed. Frankly, they're impressed that all four of them are alive) It also helps that Mikey was the first one they met, so they were instantly charmed. April's their priority, but they do genuinely love the boys.

And they haven't met Donnie, but they know that he and April were the closest, they've heard so much about him and seen the things he's built. They already love him and want to meet him so badly. I also wasn't going to confirm that her dad worked at the same research center where Donnie hatched, but I have thought about her dad getting all Emotional about it (it was a bad year and very few of the hatchlings survived-everyone was sad when the one guy they were all rooting for was seemingly eaten by a hawk or something) and showing Splinter Donnie's baby pictures and shit. Splinter would probably cry. Donnie would be so fucking done.

All in all, April's parents are like 90% of this fic where I didn't plan for anything to be A Thing and a narrative just grew when I wasn't looking.

#doth #doth asks #sorry this is one of those asks where my brain just unloaded

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densi-mber · 1 year

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Dancing in the Rain

“You know, when I pictured this vacation, I imagined a little more tropical beaches and a little less torrential rains,” Kensi commented, peering out the cabin window with a grim expression.

Since Hetty disrupted their plans to road trip across the state after Deeks’ FLETC graduation, they’d been forced to make alternative plans a few months later. By that time, the Airbnbs and hotels they’d originally booked were no longer available, or way outside their budget, so Deeks had to look for alternative accommodations.

Which is how they ended up in a little cabin smack in the middle of the Oregon woods. During a particularly rainy week. Normally, the rainy season had wrapped up by April, but not this year. It had started raining shortly after they arrived, and barely let up since.

All the fun activities Deeks had planned went to the wayside, keeping them cooped up inside for the most part.

“I’m sorry,” Deeks apologized, wrapping his arms around from behind, and resting his chin on her head. “Everything I checked indicated that the weather would be nicer by now.”

“It’s not your fault.” Kensi made a disgruntled sound. “You didn’t decide to come home from FLETC early, or cancel our vacation.”

From her tone, he could guess who she did blame. Once the dust had settled around his expedited graduation, Kensi’s annoyance had grown exponentially. Four months later, and she still hadn’t completely forgiven Hetty for her scheming.

Kensi slid her hand up to cover his. “I know how hard you tried to make this a good trip.”

“You just were hoping that leaving the cabin didn’t require water skis?”

She snorted at his summation, then sighed deeply.

“I guess I was hoping for this to be a break from all the crappy stuff that happened this past year. Now this just seems like an omen of more disappointment.”

They watched the rain pour down onto the flourishing trees and vegetation. It seemed to fit Kensi melancholy, the familiar scent and sound of water hitting leaves.

“You know, there’s no reason why we can’t go for a small hike,” Deeks suggested a few minutes later.

“You mean other than the flood?” When he didn’t respond, Kensi twisted her neck to look at him. “You’re serious.”

“Yeah. We brought boots and jackets. It’ll be good to get out.” He paused, lowering his voice playfully. “Unless you think you can’t keep up. I mean I prove that I’m capable of keeping up with FLETC’s best.”

“Oh, I can definitely keep up,” Kensi said with a hint of her usual competitiveness. Exactly as Deeks had hoped. “Get your raincoat and try not to fall, Atticus.”

Ten minutes later they were decked out in coats, boots, and carrying umbrellas just in case. They decided to take one of the many trails that surrounded the cabin—a huge selling point when Deeks had booked the place.

It was surprisingly peaceful, and as they hiked through the muddy leaves and weeds, he felt his spirits rising. It was also warmer than he anticipated. After trekking up a particulary steep part of the path, he tugged his hood down, letting the cool rain wash the sweat off his skin.

“Deeks, you’re going to get soaked,” Kensi said, slipping over the leaves as she followed after him. He offered her a hand, and she tugged herself up, resting briefly against a tree, inhaling deeply.

“What didn’t you ever play in the rain?”

“When I was about 5.”

“You should try it again. It’s good for the spirit,” Deeks said, unzipping his jacket and shrugging it off. He stuffed it into the backpack he carried, then held his arms out from his sides as the rain began to seep through his shirt.

Kensi shook her head, then reluctantly stripped her own jacket off. Once it was safely stored away too, Deeks set the bag to the side, and took a few step backwards.

“No, lets see if you can catch me,” he taunted, darting off down the path.

He heard Kensi gasp something unintelligible, then the sound of her racing after him. Deeks grinned, dodging a tree stump. He kept a good gap between them for most of the chase until they entered a small clearing, marking the end of the trail.

Deeks spun around as Kensi crashed through after him, hair plastered to her head, and sweatshirt equally wet. She had a dangerous look on her eyes. He started to backing up, holding his hands up in surrender, but Kensi didn’t stop.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around his middle, moving them both until his back his a tree.

“Gotcha,” she murmured, fire and triumph sparkling in her eyes.

“Yeah, you did,” he said unevenly.

Stretching up on her toes, Kensi grasped the sides of his head, fingers sliding through his dripping hair, and kissed him. Her lips were hard and insistent, making him gasp. Dragging her hands down his back, she sucked his bottom lip between her teeth.

She pulled back with a wicked grin. “You know what else is fun in the rain?” In answer, she stripped his shirt over his head. The wet fabric clung to his skin, and they were both giggling by the time she got it off.

Sliding her hands across his bare skin, Kensi pulled his head back to hers.

“Best vacation ever,” Deeks murmured right before their lips met again.

***

A/N: I have no idea if it was actually more rainy in Oregon in April 2021.

Why exactly would they go to Oregon you might ask? Well, it’s quite rainy there, and it’s a fair distance from LA.

Also, the title is misleading since no actual dancing occurs.

#densimber 6.0 #densimber 2022 #densimber day 19 #ncis la fanfiction #densi #fluff #light angst #fun in the rain #I’m not sure I recommend that kind of fun in the rain #but this is fanfiction #by ejzah

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bisluthq · 6 months

Note

I’m sorry but the timeline absolutely does not add up for Taylor to have cheated with matty or left joe for him (??????). they were not on the same continent at any point between the show where she did a surprise appearance in January (and stayed at the arena longer than he did based on that one New Yorker cover story) and the eras shows in nashville. February she was in LA for Grammys and tour rehearsals while he was off tour in the UK. January, March, April he was touring constantly across Europe, Latin America, Australia, and Asia. so unless you’re saying they fucked once in January (and matty didn’t even wait for her so they could go home together), engaged in three months of phone sex that taylor enjoyed so much that she dumped joe for it, and reunited in may for a month (in which case… idk what to tell you), they didn’t cheat lmao. it’s clear that they did reconnect over the phone in some way in april, and while some flirting easily could have gone on beforehand, that hardly constitutes cheating or leaving joe for matty

except for how they were in studio recording Midnights together so I really don't know what to tell you. Like he explicitly said there were songs recorded for Midnights that didn't make the cut. Also the "surprise appearance" clearly means they were yk talking? Actively? Back in Jan? Because I don't think Taylor went to do a 75 gig because of the financial benefits so obviously she did it as a friend, like she did Haim's show. But unlike Haim, she went on to say she loves Matty so....

So in the version you're presenting here's what happened: Taylor and Matty had a thing that ended and they stopped being friends and hanging out, in fact it was awkward between them, then Taylor reconnected with Matty at some point in the last few years, they developed a purely platonic connection this time round, this was solidified by them working together AS FRIENDS, however Taylor wrote a love-ish song about their original relationship AT AROUND THE SAME TIME, then FOR TOTALLY UNRELATED REASONS THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MATTY AT ALL, she broke up with Joe and publicly announced this on Matty's birthday (coincidence? Possible but a pretty wacky one since Taylor decided when to announce, like it wasn't leaked anywhere). Then they started talking again (why'd they stop talking tho they were besties back in Jan?? Surely they've been talking October through to now??) and SUDDENLY out of NOWHERE realised they wanted to try date again and then The Sun leaked this and then even though this was just a FWB thing between two besties they both mouthed "I love you" at each other on stage and then they broke up and stopped being friends.

I'm sorry that is WAY too convoluted to be likely.

What I personally think happened is Taylor was miserable with Joe, her and Matty started talking again through the Jack and Phoebe etc friendship connections, they were vibing and making music together, she was reminiscing on what could've been back then and so was he, Taylor was getting a lot more attention from him than she was back home and she was in her feelings, maybe some physical stuff happened too but maybe it was all this emotional shit that had to have happened for Question to exist, and eventually Taylor decided to full on end it with Joe and clearly immediately decided to be with Matty but something that seemed cool when it was all just talking and reminiscing and fantasising doesn't always work like that irl and this clearly was a lot better before they were actually in a relationship.

That relationship clearly didn't come out of nowhere.

If what you're truthering is no PHYSICAL cheating between them in the early months of 2023 based on dates and locations, I'm not about to counter truther because it'd take a lot of work to prove they were "never" in the same place at the same time. But if you're trying to say she didn't have an emotional affair with Matty and he wasn't a factor in deciding to finally call it with Joe - which may have been a good thing because she needed a push clearly like she wanted to leave him, she needed a reason - then idk what to tell you.

It's also, as I've pointed out above, not as simple as a pure Getaway Car because she was talking to him for literal months and months and months and months and then she dated him so excuse me for seeing that as an emotional affair.

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thomaslightwoodenthusiast · 1 year

Text

alright fuckers u asked for it u got it

here is my thomastair playlist

its fifteen songs long, could be subject to change we’ll see lol

it’s on spotify so i’m going to link it at the bottom of this post, but first i’m going to list the songs and artists and provide a little context as to why i believe it qualifies as a thomastair song 😈😈

1.) dixie boy - april smith and the great picture show

chose bc i absolutely love this song, and i love belting it when i’m home alone lol. it *is* sang by a girl, however a) her voice is beautiful and b) the lyrics just fit thomastair SO well. no spoilers ofc but think of when alastair said that he always noticed when others were looking at thomas and how much he hated it. that’s this song. although it could also be how thomas feels about charles LMAO

2.) medicine - royal sugar

got recommended these guys on ig and they’re great!! no reason other than it’s just a rly cool song, kinda sexy, it’s just great lol

3.) fleeting love - royal sugar

reminds me of earlier thomastair 💗🙏

4.) indigo - mouth culture

there aren’t many lyrics to this, but it’s one of my fave songs. such a chill, great vibe, just makes me picture the two of them sitting together in the evening, no words, just relaxing :)

5.) why’d you only call me when you’re high? - arctic monkeys

possibly the only song on this any of u will recognise HA. again no real reason. just i guess when they had their oh moment??

6.) loud - feed the biirds (not a typo)

they’re out. they’re happy. they don’t give a fuck who says what. they love each other and the whole world is gonna know.

7.) palo santo - years & years

the first of 3 y&y appearances. olly (the singer) is gay and i love how his music expresses his identity; he’s not shy about it. reminds me a little of the sanctuary scene??

8.) i need you to hate me - jc stewart

okay i’m gonna be honest this is here for 2 reasons. one, bc it makes so much sense for thomastair. how alastair was so desperate for thomas to not care about him so that neither of them got their hearts broken. two, because apparently jc stewart is from a place just down the road from where i live HA ni represent fr

9.) DKLA - troye sivan, tkay maidza

fuck it lol just makes sense to me

10.) sanctify -years & years

one of the lines is ‘you don’t have to be straight with me’ with heavy emphasis on the word straight and it makes me giggle so

11.) tout l’univers - gjon’s tears

okay it’s a eurovision song BUT i needed a french song!!! cause paris!!! if you want to look up a translation of the lyrics feel free, but here’s (roughly) what the chorus says:

all the universe // our two hearts beneath the earth // in the midst of failures, everything explodes // to be at the point of impact // without you

i am aware they are kind of sad lyrics but i think this song captures how tumultuous everything was for them at the start, especially from a personal point of view for alastair

12.) moon - the cab

i love alexander deleon’s (lead singer) work as bohnes soooo the cab are great too. again just a silly kinda sexy song lol. also just realised it’s called moon and la voyage dans la lune guys i’m so smart

13.) hypnotised - years & years

more early thomastair vibes. actually the y&y songs on this make me want to write smth. idk. i think early thomastair owns my heart tbh

14.) love it if we made it - the 1975

yes i dislike matty as much as the next person however this song means a lot to me personally. i don’t know why, but it has helped me through a lot, like a note to self kind of thing? anyways. yeah i love this song and i think it really represents the desperation of thomastair, particularly how thomas put so much effort into convincing alastair that they’d be ok, that they could be together. ‘i’d love it if we made it’ just makes me think of thomas tbh. and!!! it’s all good bc!!! they did!!!

15.) hit and run - lolo

okay i’m going to be honest. i wanted there to be specifically 15 songs and so i needed to think of a final one to add. i really like this one, and thomastair often comes to mind when i listen to it. like i could just see them doing something borderline illegal or generally stupid and running away laughing because they’re just two idiots in love. lowkey oneshot idea of them being a criminal duo? who knows

that’s it for now, happy listening and feel free to add your own songs! you should be able to, i think it’s public and if you really want you can follow my spotify lol

here is the link:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6uSxw4bJefjV9iTQaEPZYD?si=BByxWrnLTwObcEM2PYbD3A

#shadowhunters #lgbtq #the shadowhunter chronicles #queer #the last hours #chain of gold #thomastair #alastair carstairs #chain of iron #thomas lightwood #chain of thorns

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poppyseedgirly · 1 year

Text

today i shoveled dirt and planted seeds

cleaned up the yard, sat with my silence

and the sun was hot on my skin

and my period came early this month

but i think it makes sense for april

and i’m off my birth control so it’s just

regulating

anyway, gardening on your period makes sense to me

i’m going to care for this little garden

flowers mostly, and experimenting with cat grass and nip

there was a peacefulness

where moments i was thinking about

everything

and i felt okay

doing something on my own

whether it’s right or wrong

but it’s my own, and i think it turned out quite nice

two patches, surrounded by brick and stones

some water, some pats, and some hope

i’ve been thinking a lot about tears

and watering a garden

and that garden being myself

it takes time, change, fleeting moments

i wonder where tears come from?

probably straight from the heart i’d assume

i think about all the things i never felt

i did perfectly for others

i think about the worms in the dirt

and i think about worm hearts and frogs in pots of boiling water

and metaphors and i’m thinking about love

i’m trying not to be confused, but sometimes that’s all i feel,

other days it makes more sense

i thought about how mean you were to me at times,

in all my moments of patience, it makes me scratch my head,

i remember you saying you failed me,

and i didn’t understand and i pleaded to you

are you sure are you sure are you sure

delusional daffodil darling

i will never beg for someones love again

like i’m taking my rose colored glasses off,

like i need to take them off

i went to the eye doctor today

and asked please please please

i do not want rose colored glasses

give me the clearest lenses you got

( which is funny because my glasses are rose colored, i picked a brown pair out, a new era )

you wanted to crack the code so badly, the code of it all, of the universe, and i would always say it’s right in front of you, it’s simple, and it’s not simple, and it’s love

i still believe this to be true, i wonder if that will change, i wonder if one day you will understand

i sit on my twin size bed

and try to pop my sore knee back into place

and think about how at some point

i’m going to lose everyone

and i’m trying to sit with that thought

take it in doses but not too much

because i know when each day comes

i will not be ready, how can you

my grandma called me today

and started asking about depression

reminding me while if others are sad for me

to remember it’s okay if i am sad too

and that i am doing well for my situation

people keep telling me that,

that i’m seeming okay

i wonder what they expect

or maybe they aren’t seeing

what i feel in moments where

i am so scared of myself

she said they used to write books about depression,

and she misses the yellow pages

and they gave her some books when my grandfather died,

she can’t find them as she is blind now and i say that’s okay

she said, it’s like a death allison

one day the person who has been by your side all this time is just gone

and it shot hot tears through me, i said yes

she said talking about depression can be depressing though, so she doesn’t bother with it

and i think that’s really interesting and funny

sometimes her words are so wise and real and cut me so sharp and i want to jot it all down

she said give yourself a hug

i told her ice cream is good for the heart and it made her laugh a lot

she talks about how her own path changed and lead her to my grandfather

i still believe in good things

and better things to come

i believe my garden is just beginning to grow

i believe i’m going to be okay and i’m going to figure it out and be soft and tender

and still have a heart open and warm to love

poppet steps across my laptop

just like before and messes with all the keys

and i let her

some things are the same, most things are different

and that’s okay, i think that’s okay i still say through gritted teeth

i’d be lying if i didn’t miss a lot of things

but again i’m still accepting

rewiring my brain

i think i’m going to walk at the cemetery soon

explore neighborhoods around me

i grew up too sheltered to truly know

why is everything new

i sometimes wonder if people find life as an obligation rather than enjoying all that it has to offer

i worry about getting stuck sometimes but i think to myself i have this thought so maybe i can’t truly get stuck if i’m aware of it

i believe in something good around the corner, i believe in art, poetry, movies, all the words said before each day to come, marlee, poppet, our dreams, the seeds i just planted.

#diary

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thepenguinclub · 2 years

Text

a cautionary tale

read the first installment of the teacher virgil series here, and the next one here. masterpost here.

virgil and oc, part of a series, read the first one for more sanders sides content but this is a stand alone, the oc is my baby boy respect him

Summary:

“What I don’t think you know, or what you don’t understand, is that there are consequences to your actions. This stuff you’ve been getting away with for who knows how long? You’re going to stop getting away with it, and when that happens, it isn’t going to end well. This shit you’re messing around with, it has real world consequences.”

“I don’t care,” Kane bit out sharply, meeting Mr. Sanders’ gaze. His teacher raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t care?” he repeated.

“I don’t care.” Kane shifted in his seat, tightening his still crossed arms. Mr. Sanders nodded slowly, and leaned back again, spinning slightly in his fancier chair.

“Alright,” he said after a second. “You don’t care.” He gestured to the door. “You’re free to leave, then.”

---

Kane is what people call a delinquent. A mischief maker. A bad kid and a worse influence.

Kane is, at heart, a kid who needs a helping hand.

————

hello! yeah so this is something i turned in for my creative writing assignment to write a cautionary tale. and of course my brain immediately went 'hmmm.... how can i sneak fanfiction into this' so here we are.

i know this is not the sequel people were expecting but give it a chance! i think you'll like it.

thanks to @sunbrightshadows for betaing, and for the very nice person in my cw class who gave me a wonderful peer review, as well as wrote a very nice story.

the junior lit. and lang. class of mr. sanders and what happens in it takes place in november. this takes place in april of the same school year, so after tjllcmswhit. why is that name so long honestly who named it that. oh right.

(virgil is a genius and graduates college early, which means he's 19 when he starts teaching (also 19 in this fic) for those reading as a standalone.)

enjoy!!

WARNINGS: swearing (lots), smoking, police, police stations/holding cells, descriptions of school fights (not very graphic), allusions to child abuse, mentions of parental deaths and unhealthy coping mechanisms for grief (i.e. overworking and fighting)

if i missed anything let me know!!

————

Kane ducked as Jackson’s fist sailed over his head, right where his nose had been. He reached up and grabbed Jackson’s forearm, twisting it to his left as he stood back up to his full height. Jackson grimaced, grunting as he used his other hand to try and get his arm free. Kane just smirked, using the opening to knee Jackson in the gut, causing him to double over with a pained wheeze.

“Finish him off, dude!” Dylan yelled from a few feet to his right, snacking on a bag of potato chips noisily. Kane spared him a roll of his eyes before following his advice, clasping his hands together and raising them above his head. Before he could bring them down on Jackson, though, the telltale clicking of heels reached his ears. He and Dylan locked eyes.

“Teacher,” Kane mouthed, and then they were off, leaving Jackson to catch his breath just as the teacher rounded the corner. They ran around the building, through the underpass, and all the way until the bleachers of the stadium field, where the junior army kids were practicing.

“Shit, that was close,” Dylan panted next to him, pushing his hair off his forehead. Kane just nodded, taking deep breaths as he fluffed his own hair. “What was she even doing out there anyway?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Kane replied, shaking the leftover adrenaline out of his limbs. “All that matters is that Jackson is gonna snitch because he’s a little bitch, and we’re gonna take the fallout.”

Dylan swore under his breath.

“We could spin it that you were just defending yourself,” he suggested half-heartedly, both of them knowing that there was no way out of it.

“Eh,” Kane shrugged. “What’s one more black mark, right?”

Dylan let out a little “amen,” before nodding in the direction of one of the school’s back doors.

“First period starts soon,” he said, and Kane grunted in response. They both walked through the doors and blended into the crowd of other students, following the flow to the fourth floor until they reached their destination, slipping through the doorway as the bell was ringing.

“So close,” Mr. Sanders sighed. “One day you two’ll be late and I’ll finally feel vindicated.”

“I feel like you’re conforming to a stereotype because of our appearances,” Dylan replied breezily, sliding into the desk closest to the bookshelf against the wall as Kane flopped into the one next to it, both of them dropping their bags heavily next to them.

“Those were some big words for you, Dylan,” Danny quipped from behind Kane, who turned around in his seat to scowl at him. Danny just flashed an overly wide smile, batting his eyelashes. Danni, his partner, looked at him unimpressed from behind Dylan.

“Do you need me to dumb it down for you?” Dylan replied, smiling innocently back.

“Boys,” Mr. Sanders called from the front of the classroom, tone sounding bored. “We do this testosterone competition every class and it never gets more entertaining, so, unless one of you has magically come up with some new material, shut up.”

Kane huffed, but turned back to look towards the front, Dylan following suit.

“Wonderful,” Mr. Sanders deadpanned, before pulling out the attendance clipboard. “Alright class, today we are going to do your favorite hot drink.”

Kane zoned out, only answering with a flat “coffee” when Mr. Sanders called his name. He liked Mr. Sanders, really. He was the youngest teacher in the school, having graduated much earlier than average people, and wasn’t much older than Kane himself. He and Dylan purposefully tried not to skip first period because of how much they liked him, actually. When there was a class you liked, it was smarter to go, that way you could get away with skipping others. That��s what they had learned freshman year, and they’d both been operating fine under that rule since.

Still, it was Lit. and Lang. Not exactly the most interesting class in the world. So, when Mr. Sanders opened with, “Alright, kiddies, today we are continuing with Dante’s Inferno,” Kane felt completely justified letting his head fall to the desk with a thud in disappointment.

“Mr. Barns is exceedingly excited about this news,” Mr. Sanders continued, amused, and Kane flipped him off without lifting his head up. “Oh, look, a bird. I wonder how that got in here.”

The class erupted into giggles, and Kane lifted his head up only to glare at his teacher, who just smiled cheekily back. Dylan patted him consolingly on the shoulder, and Kane glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

“It was pretty funny, dude,” Dylan explained unabashedly, shrugging. Kane grumbled nonsense to himself.

Mr. Sanders continued the lesson, discussing the latest chapter of Dante’s Inferno that Kane had spent three minutes skimming on SparkNotes. It was a pretty average English class, which meant Kane was staring aggressively at the clock the whole time, willing it to move faster. The only thing he really paid attention to was when, about halfway through, Mr. Sanders got a call on the school landline, which wasn’t very common. All he said, though, was “yes… okay… okay, thank you,” so it was only a little more interesting than the material.

Finally, after an eternity, the bell rang, and Kane swung his bag onto his shoulder as he stood up. Freedom was in sight.

“Kane, Dylan, stay back for a second, please.”

Freedom was lost, never to be attained.

The rest of the class filed out of the door, Kane watching wistfully, before he slowly slumped up to Mr. Sanders’ desk, Dylan a few steps behind him.

“Yeah?” he asked rudely. Mr. Sanders leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. Kane swore internally.

“Dylan, what’s your next period?” he asked. Dylan didn’t reply for a second, probably trying to remember. He usually skipped the next period.

“Latin,” he answered slowly. “Shit, I have a test, I think.”

Mr. Sanders just stared at him.

“Go to class and do me the favor of, at the very least, cramming before the test instead of just trying to bullshit the whole thing,” he finally said. Dylan smiled a bit as he nodded, and Kane had the lingering thought of ‘take me with you’ as he walked out the door.

Mr. Sanders turned to look at him, and he cringed.

“I know for a fact you have art next period, which you skip, even though you’re a good artist, so you aren’t getting out of this, Kane.” He gestured to the desk in front of his own desk, where the deaf girl usually sat. “Sit down.”

Kane sat, letting his bag drop again. He rested his head on his hand morosely.

“I got a call from Mrs. Meyer,” Mr. Sanders stated. “She said she caught you beating up another student while Dylan observed.”

“She’s so wrong, I would never-” Kane went to protest, but Mr. Sanders held up a hand and he stopped talking.

“Now, I don’t particularly like Mrs. Meyer,” he continued. “And I don’t believe you were kicking around a kid without any reason. So,” he leaned forward, “what was your reason?”

Kane contemplated sticking with the lie that he didn’t do anything, but the look Mr. Sanders was giving him was screaming ‘don’t fucking try me,’ so Kane just scoffed.

“He was being a dick.” He crossed his arms to match Mr. Sanders, hunching in on himself. “He was starting something he couldn’t finish, and I told him that, but he didn’t listen. So I finished it. Simple.”

“Right,” Mr. Sanders agreed amicably. “Simple.”

Kane nodded stiffly, and Mr. Sanders sighed. He uncrossed his arms and leaned forward.

“Look, Kane.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re a smart kid. When you apply yourself, you do well in this class. You’re a great artist, and if you actually attended those classes, you would be even better. I want to help you be a better student, and with anything you need help with.”

Kane had been shrinking into himself during Mr. Sanders' whole speech. In his entire life, he had never had someone reply to one of his fuck ups with compliments. ‘I want to help you’ was pretty common, but never with the sincerity that Mr. Sanders was giving him now. It all had a quality that made Kane feel worse, like he had a wad of chewing gum lodged in his stomach.

“What you’re doing right now,” Mr. Sanders continued, shaking his head, “isn’t working. You aren’t doing well in your other classes, are getting marks on your records, and beating kids up? That’s assault, if they want it to be.”

“I know all that,” Kane replied quietly.

“I know you do,” Mr. Sanders replied even faster, speaking calmly. “What I don’t think you know, or what you don’t understand, is that there are consequences to your actions. This stuff you’ve been getting away with for who knows how long? You’re going to stop getting away with it, and when that happens, it isn’t going to end well. This shit you’re messing around with, it has real world consequences.”

“I don’t care,” Kane bit out sharply, meeting Mr. Sanders’ gaze. His teacher raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t care?” he repeated.

“I don’t care.” Kane shifted in his seat, tightening his still crossed arms. Mr. Sanders nodded slowly, and leaned back again, spinning slightly in his fancier chair.

“Alright,” he said after a second. “You don’t care.” He gestured to the door. “You’re free to leave, then.”

Kane narrowed his eyes suspiciously, glancing between Mr. Sanders and the door. After a full minute, he decided it wasn’t a trick, and he slowly stood up, swinging his backpack onto his back. When Mr. Sanders just watched him, he gained more confidence, striding over to the door. He was halfway through the doorway before he was stopped.

“Mr. Barns,” Mr. Sanders' voice called from behind him, mention tone here. Kane didn’t turn around. “Think about what I said. Even though you don’t care.”

Kane paused for a second, but that was the end of it, so he walked out the door and into the empty hallway.

He ignored the gum in his stomach when he turned in the opposite direction of his art class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brian Xander was the biggest kid at Westburrow High School.

He was a senior, so the grade above Kane. He’d been held back three years running, and the rumor was he was shooting for a fourth, which also made him the oldest kid in the school, by a long shot. He was muscled, with tattoos stretching over his skin and studs on his clothes. He smoked outside instead of attending class, he and his revolving door of friends claiming the best spot to smoke, under the bleachers. This meant Kane, Dylan and the rest of their friends were banished to the cut-out in the back of the school, where the dumpsters were.

But Xander (not Brian. Some people said that not even his parents called him by his first name) and his gang were suspended a few days ago, which meant that, considering Kane and his friends were the next in line, they had taken the luxury of the bleachers during the last period of the day.

Which was good, because it was an uncharacteristically hot April day, the kind that teased the summer that was approaching, and the dumpsters would have smelled horrible in the thick, warm air.

Instead of suffering, though, they were in the blessed shade of the bleachers, a paradise in comparison.

“This is nice,” Dylan said next to him where they were both leaning against the wall. Smoke filtered out of his mouth when he talked, wafting upwards gracefully. Kane nodded his agreement, removing the cigarette from his lips and breathing out through his nose, tendrils of his own smoke floating to join Dylan’s. Mr. Sander’s warning was long pushed into the back of his mind, something he had committed to ignoring. All in all, it was pretty nice.

Of course, that was when things went wrong.

“Yo, freaks,” a voice called out, and Kane furrowed his eyebrows, turning towards the voice curiously. There weren’t a lot of people who would be confident enough to antagonize their little group.

Unfortunately, one of the only people that was exempt to that statement was indeed standing at the mouth of the bleachers, looking pissed.

Kane tried not to obviously scramble to his feet in front of Brian Xander, but he wasn’t sure if he succeeded. Next to him, Dylan stayed sitting, watching with a hesitant expression.

Kane should have said something like, “Do you want to join us?” Or maybe, “What’s up?” Or a simple, “Yo.”

Instead what came out was, “I thought you were suspended.”

Kane cringed, because that was definitely not the right thing to say. Xander seemed to agree, because he sneered.

“So, what, I’m gone and you fuckers think you can just waltz in and take our spot?” He glared at Kane, who looked at Dylan for help. He just parroted Kane’s own wide-eyed stare back at him.

“We weren’t trying to-”

“You know what?” Xander asked mockingly, stepping forward. “I really don’t care.”

Kane ducked as Xander’s fist sailed over his head, breathing in so quickly he choked on the air, causing him to stumble away from Xander, coughing and sputtering. The bigger man didn’t care, and it didn’t take long for him to go after Kane.

His other friends, the absolute dicks, ran as soon as it was clear this was going to be a real fight. Dylan, the only one that Kane actually trusted, caught his eye, turned around, and started running. Kane didn’t have time to think about that before he was being pushed back against a wall, his head hitting it painfully, causing sparks to dance around his vision. It cleared just in time for him to dive out of the way of a punch that would have broken his nose, instead causing Xander to slam his knuckles into the brick and swear loudly.

“I’m gonna kill you for that,” he growled, shaking his hand out and wincing. Kane just stood up.

He knew how to fight. He knew how to fight, he’d been doing it since he was thirteen. This was just another jerk, one who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. There was nothing different.

At least, that’s what he told himself. He wasn’t sure if he believed his own lies, but they tasted sweet in his mouth, so when Xander came at him again, he faked a hit to the other boy’s face and instead punched his gut, kicking the side of his knee when he paused to grunt and regain his breath.

Kane backed up quickly, clenching his hands into fists to stop them from shaking. Xander stood up straight, and caught Kane off guard by just charging him instead of making some comment.

That was what decided the tone of what was about to happen. Kane got some good hits in, enough to know Xander would be feeling like shit for the next few weeks, but for every hit Kane landed, Xander landed three. Kane was wiping blood from his nose and wheezing when he breathed, scrambling away from the looming figure that was backing him against a wall, when Dylan showed up, three security guards, a teacher, and the principal in tow.

“Mister Xander!” the principal yelled, causing Xander to pause, looking at their new audience and sighing aggressively at what he saw.

He looked back at Kane consideringly, trying to figure out if he could land a few more in, but two of the security guards came up behind him, one clapping him on the shoulder.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, kid,” he said. “Police are on their way, and it wouldn’t do much.”

“Besides,” the other one added, looking down at Kane, “he’s getting the same wrap as you. I mean, you are trespassing on school property, technically, but he’s not coming off clean, if that makes you feel any better.”

Xander smirked down at him, as if Kane’s stomach hadn’t just dropped straight out of him, then turned in the guards hold to walk back over to the group, letting the third guard handcuff him.

The first guard came up to him and offered a hand up, which he took, grunting when the action of standing up caused his ribs to scream in protest.

“Come on, kid,” the guard said, leading him out to everyone else. Police cars were pulling into the parking lot. Dylan gave him an apologetic look, which he nodded at in acknowledgement. It was the best thing he could have done, and Kane recognized that. The guard pressed something metal against his wrist, which Kane realized were handcuffs. He swallowed.

“Here to pick up some delinquents?” a police officer called from the front seat of his car. The guard led Kane over, opening the door and sliding him in. Kane watched numbly as the guard leant down to peer at him from outside the car.

“Have a fun ride,” he said. Kane just breathed in heavily.

The car door slamming startled him enough that he hit his head on the roof of the car. The officer in the front seat just chuckled lightly and started to drive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kane was in a holding cell.

He was sitting on the bench, hunched over, with his elbows resting on his legs and his head in his hands. The position was hell on his ribs, but he was tired, and that was the way he felt most comfortable, so that was the way he sat.

They had given him a few bandages and bruise cream, as well as checked him over for a concussion (he didn’t have one, just a lump on the back of his head), so nothing was as bad as it was when he first got to the station. That didn’t mean he didn’t feel a bit like a giant bruise, though.

The officers had told him that they were keeping him until someone came to get him and had paid what needed to be paid. Which, normally, meant for a few hours.

Unfortunately, Kane was not normal, which meant that his mom was out of state for work and he had no other family. And also, even if his mom was fifteen minutes away, he wasn’t totally sure they could afford bail anyway. For all he knew, this cell would only be the first. Kane blinked back tears, not for the first time since he had arrived at the station. What had he been thinking?

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. He was supposed to mess around a little, pass his classes with Cs and Ds and work right out of high school.

Instead, he was sitting hunched over in a holding cell for the foreseeable future. He dimly wondered if they’d give him a pillow for the next few nights.

He sighed, and immediately regretted the action when his body berated him for it.

A door opened, a few heavy footsteps entering the room around the cell. Kane didn’t look up. Just officers passing through.

At least, that’s what he thought until a familiar voice was telling someone to “let me inside.”

Kane’s head snapped up to watch Mr. Sanders raise a patronizingly calm eyebrow at the sputtering police officer.

“We can’t do that, sir,” the officer said, crossing his arms almost self-consciously.

“He’s a seventeen year old child,” Mr. Sanders replied drily. “I think I’ll be safe. I promise I’ll scream if he’s about to murder me, though,” he tacked on, sarcasm thick in his tone. The officer sputtered again, but unlocked the holding cell door like he said, allowing Mr. Sanders to stride into the cell confidently. The door closed behind him.

He came over to sit next to Kane, who had been watching him with a look he was sure was entirely surprise and shock.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked when it became clear Mr. Sanders wasn’t going to start the conversation, having just leaned against the wall behind them casually.

It was then that Kane noticed his attire. He choked on his own spit.

Mr. Sanders (his teacher!) was dressed like a drugstore emo, complete with ripped black skinny jeans and platform Docs that must have been an inch thick at least, and a purple band shirt that was almost completely obscured by the leather bomber jacket that hung loose of his frame. His hair was still the same, a purple-black ombre that fell into his eyes, but not enough to obscure the fact that he was wearing eyeliner.

Mr. Sanders watched in amusement as Kane tried to recover his breathing, only frowning when Kane winced at the spasm of his chest that caused his ribs to twinge painfully.

“Are your ribs injured?” he asked.

“What are you wearing?” Kane asked in reply, not even purposefully sidestepping the question, just overwhelmed by the level of flabbergasted-ness he was experiencing. Mr. Sanders’ lips twitched upwards.

“I do have a life outside of being a teacher, Kane,” he reminded him, crossing his legs with an indifferent air.

“Yeah, but I didn’t realize that involved… whatever this is!” he exclaimed, gesturing broadly.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was being insulted,” Mr. Sanders said, and Kane backtracked.

“No, no, I mean- I didn’t-”

“Relax, Kane,” Mr. Sanders put his hands up in a calming gesture. “I was joking. I know you aren’t insulting me.”

Kane nodded, then furrowed his eyebrows.

“What are you doing here?” he asked again.

“I’m here for you,” Mr. Sanders answered easily, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. “Dylan emailed me about what happened, and I called your mom, who won’t be back in town for a few days. She gave me full permission to pick you up and drop you off at your house, or my apartment if you want to stay with me.”

Kane stared at him as if he was speaking another language.

“What?”

Mr. Sanders smiled slightly.

“I’m here to pick you up, and either bring you back to your house or mine, whichever you prefer,” he simplified. Kane still didn’t understand.

“I don’t understand.”

Mr. Sanders sighed through his nose, and Kane immediately felt like he had done something wrong.

“Kane,” Mr. Sanders started softly, “you very obviously didn’t listen to my warning. Why was that?”

Kane shrunk in on himself a bit, ignoring the way it made his ribs throb. He didn’t say anything.

“Okay, you don’t have to answer.” Mr. Sanders was quiet for a moment. Kane glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. He was leaning against the wall with his legs crossed still, his eyes closed, looking like he could be taking a quick rest in the park, or maybe napping in a café. The dreary interior of the holding cell didn’t match the picture.

“My dad died when I was eleven,” Mr. Sanders finally said. Kane startled, hissing a breath out through his teeth in pain, but Mr. Sanders didn’t react. He just kept talking. “He was my best friend, and then one day he was just gone. It was really hard for us, especially since my mom was pregnant with my little brother. I worked as hard as I could to take care of them, and the way I did that was by going as fast as possible. I graduated as soon as I could, sped through college, and took the first job I could.” He paused. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but being a teacher was never my grand plan. My dad had those.” A ghost of a smile flitted across his face. “I was going to cure cancer, or feed millions of hungry kids, or be the first person on Mars. He liked to believe that because I was smarter than anyone my age, I could do anything. Despite the fact that I haven’t done any of that stuff, I think he’d be proud of me. I hope he is,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

Mr. Sanders opened his eyes, and turned his head slightly to look at Kane, making eye contact. Kane didn’t know if he could look away. He didn’t know if he wanted to.

“Your dad wasn’t like that, was he.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, and suddenly Kane, despite being bigger than almost any other person in the Junior class, despite being seventeen and roughed up after a fight, suddenly felt very small.

Still, he managed to shake his head.

“I’m sorry he was the way he was,” Mr. Sanders said. “I know that hurt you. I understand what it’s like, to have so many feelings and not know what to do with them. I put them into work, to the point that it was unhealthy. You put them into…” he trailed off, not breaking eye contact. Kane was filling in the blanks without even realizing he had started talking.

“Anything,” he whispered. “Anything that he would hate. Anything that made me seem cool, that made sure people wouldn’t pick on me.”

“Pick on you like he did,” Mr. Sanders elaborated, and Kane felt himself nodding. Mr. Sander’s eyes were green. He’d never noticed that before. “Your mom’s worried about you.”

That was what finally let Kane break away from the eye contact, the statement causing his head to duck ashamedly, almost involuntarily.

“I know,” he muttered. He didn’t mean to worry her, but he just couldn’t help it. He almost didn’t know how to do anything other than smoke and skip and fight, even though he knew she hated it.

“I told her you didn’t mean to,” Mr. Sanders said, and Kane was starting to wonder if he was psychic or something. He told him as much, which made Mr. Sanders laugh loudly. Kane felt himself smiling too, despite the fact that it pulled on the bruises on his cheek uncomfortably.

“It’s my special teacher powers.” Mr. Sanders winked, and Kane huffed out a laugh. Mr. Sanders smiled at him, then started to get up. Kane followed his lead.

Mr. Sanders called for an officer to let them out, and soon Kane was being led by his Lit. and Lang. teacher to the front desk at the police station. On the way there, an officer handed him a bag of all his belongings, and he gratefully slipped his phone into his pocket, strapping his watch on as he walked.

“I’m picking up Kane Barns, “ he said smoothly, professionally. “His legal guardian, Bella Barns, should have called earlier giving permission.”

The receptionist nodded amicably, typing away on her computer.

“Yes, Ms. Barns called. Are you paying the bail or is she?”

“I am,” Mr. Sanders answered, pulling his wallet out and handing over his credit card, as well as his license. The receptionist took both with another nod, both of them acting as if Kane wasn’t having a heart attack right next to them.

“Um, what,” Kane croaked out, feeling as if he was dreaming. Mr. Sanders just spared him a careful glance.

“I’ve already discussed it with your mother,” he said. “She was very thankful, and gave me full permission.”

“I can’t- you shouldn’t- but-” Kane stuttered, trying to find the right words to say ‘what the fuck is happening, I can’t let you do that, you’re so nice what’s wrong with you???’

“Kane,” Mr. Sanders interrupted, giving him a smile as the receptionist handed him back his card and license. “It’s fine. I wouldn’t be doing this if I couldn’t afford it, or if I didn’t want to.”

Kane opened his mouth with a rebuttal on his tongue, but Mr. Sanders just gave him a look, and before he knew it he was closing his mouth and following Mr. Sanders quietly out of the station and up to a plain black car parked close to the doors. Mr. Sanders unlocked it, then slid into the driver's side as Kane awkwardly dropped into the passenger seat.

Kane stared at the little black bat plushie hanging from the rearview mirror as Mr. Sanders pulled out of the parking lot, watching it swing back and forth.

“I’m assuming you know how to get to your house,” Mr. Sanders said after a moment, breaking the silence. Kane jumped a little before he comprehended the words, then nodded.

“Turn left in two streets,” he replied quietly. That was how they passed the fifteen minute drive, in silence that was only broken by Kane’s muttered directions. Kane let his mind wander throughout the ride, keeping his gaze on the world outside. It was dark, the clock on the radio reading ‘8:45pm’ already. Kane sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to his empty house.

Eventually, Kane was telling Mr. Sanders to stop in front of a plain looking townhouse. It was on the smaller side, even for a townhouse, and it wasn’t as nice looking as the others around it, but not so much that it stood out as an outlier.

“Thank you for the ride, Mr. Sanders,” Kane said truthfully, hoping Mr. Sanders would understand the hidden meaning behind the words. ‘Thank you for everything, thank you for not being disappointed in me, thank you for paying the bail, thank you for still caring.’

“You’re welcome,” Mr. Sanders replied with a smile. He glanced back at the townhouse. “Do you want to stay here tonight or stay at mine?”

Kane paused on his way to opening the door, turning back to his teacher in surprise.

“What?”

“Your mom was worried about you staying home alone,” Mr. Sanders explained. “She gave permission for you to stay with me until she gets back in a few days. You can call her, if you’d like,” he added.

Kane nodded slowly, pulling out his phone. He dialed her number.

She was worried about him, which he wasn’t surprised about. She seemed understanding, though, and confirmed everything that Mr. Sanders had told him. She encouraged him to stay with him while she was gone.

“I don’t want you alone right now,” she said, concern evident in her voice. “I want you to stay with someone, and Virgil seems like he’s a very sweet man. I trust him with you.”

Kane glanced over at Mr. Sanders, who was on his phone, turned away from him. Obviously trying to give him the semblance of privacy.

“Okay,” Kane finally conceded quietly. “If it’ll make you feel better.”

“It will,” his mom replied quickly. “I’ll let you get settled there, but call me before you go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” Kane said again.

“I love you, honey,” his mom finished softly, and Kane muttered a quick ‘love you too’ in return. He hung up, and turned to Mr. Sanders.

“Guess I’m staying with you.” He tried to put as much levity into his voice as possible, and could here himself fail. Mr. Sanders didn’t comment, just gave him another smile. He pocketed his phone and gestured to Kane’s house.

“You can run in and pack a bag with clothes and toiletries, I’ll sit out here.”

Kane nodded, opening his door and stumbling out of the car. Before he was able to close it, though, Mr. Sanders called his name. Kane bent down so he could make eye contact.

“You do realize that this means you aren’t going to be allowed to do any of that shit anymore, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Kane nodded.

“I know,” he replied, because he did.

“Are you okay with that?” Mr. Sanders pressed. Kane paused, then dipped his chin in a slow nod.

“I am,” he said, realizing only after the words left his mouth that they were true. He really was fine with changing everything around.

“Good.” Mr. Sanders leaned back in his seat. “Don’t take too long, we’ve got a rave waiting for us back at my apartment.”

Kane let out a surprised laugh, barely even noticing the ache in his ribs. Mr. Sanders smiled at the sound.

“Sounds exciting,” Kane quipped, smiling back happily. He slammed the door shut, and started up towards his house, grinning the whole way.

————

hopefully you liked it! honestly expect a lot more sneaky fanfictions that i wrote for creative writing in the future.

reblogs and notes are my life blood so i appreciate them all. i also have an ao3 (thepenguinclub) if that's your thing, i'd love to hang over there.

remember that you are loved, and appreciated, and if you've been online for a while maybe take a little break, yeah? i hope you have an amazing rest of your day!!! <33

previous part, next part, masterpost

#sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #original character #penguin writes

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living-d3ad-gh0ul · 1 year

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Monday 5th December 2022, 4.52am

Well here comes an insomnia post from me haha. I've been lying here in bed for about an hour now, after falling asleep really early after dinner, so here we are lol. And I have to start work at 7am, I'm going to just try and power through the day, lots of coffee and lots of keeping myself busy with work. I have a couple meetings today anyway, I just hope one of them isn't one of those ones that could have been an email. I know the other one won't be, I just hate pointless meetings, especially on a Monday haha.

I'm so glad you enjoyed your time in Terry- I mean Tassy. Even if you did bring home COVID, I really hope you're still doing okay with that and it's still just a mild cold. I had COVID for the first time in July, during our heatwave too and it was awful having a fever during that. I was quite unwell and had to take a week off work. The first pub you mentioned sounds so nice (and looks nice if that was in one of the photos you posted) and I immediately had an image of us cosying up there together, talking and laughing and just looking at each other. Being with you in the bush around a fire also sounds amazing too, I'd love that. The dog you met looks absolutely ADORABLE too and I hope you told him he's a very good boy. I bet his awoos were the cutest ever. I sometimes look after my sister's dog, she's an all black long haired German Shepherd. She's very cute, but sometimes I have to be careful when I leave my bedroom at night, because she blends in with my rug in my hallway haha. Gotta be sure you don't trip over her.

It definitely sounds like you had lots of fun, even if you did feel alone. The trolley picture made me laugh, because that's exactly something I would probably do too. I can't believe your bandmate brought a girl back though lol you'll be glad that nothing happened with them, even if their snoring did keep you awake haha. All the scenery and everything you said about Tasmania and Hobart itself sounds amazing. I'd have loved all of that too. I could imagine us together at the street market you mentioned, just walking around together, picking up the most silly/crappy things and joking about buying them for each other haha. I wish I could have been in the crowd too. I don't know if it'd been better me standing at the front, where I'd be right in front of you.. or a little towards the back so that you'd be looking out into the crowd more haha. But either way, I'd love that. I'd love to see you play. I also can't believe you play bass now too. I miss my bass, I'm thinking of getting a new one, once I get a new piano (my old one is dead, it was oldddd)

All the photos you posted were fantastic. I was right, you're still just as handsome as the first time I ever saw you. I'm going to be brave and put some photos on this post too, so you can see me now and enjoy some things I've done this year too. Including going to the US for a month. I had an amazing time and visited some friends. That was back in March/April and doesn't feel like it was that long ago. I still can't believe it's December and it's almost Christmas. I've been rushing around trying to make sure I have Christmas presents for my family and my best friends haha. I actually spent Friday evening with one of my best friends and her boyfriend, I stayed at their place and we played games, made dinner, laughed, played with the cats, listened to music and had a few drinks (my favourite gin is Hendricks too btw, but I still love Jack Daniels haha). It was a nice chill night.

I am totally comfortable with these posts. I really like reading what you've been up to, what's on your mind, what you're thinking, how you're feeling. I read them all the time. I often think about what you do during the day too. Probably more than I'd be willing to admit. Sometimes I sit and wonder what you're doing at that exact moment, I'll sometimes check to see what time it is and if you'd be awake or sleeping. I get so giddy when I see there's a new post from you and I sit smiling like a total fool when I read them. Yesterday, I basically had a relaxing day, getting ready for the week ahead. I work Monday - Friday at the moment, so I always have weekends off which is great. I also get to work from home, which I LOVE! I've been in this job for the past year and I'm good at it. I'm always told how well I do and how much I help others out that I work with. I've stopped being afraid to ask questions and ask for help if I need it. I know now that it doesn't mean I'm dumb or anything, it just means I need some assistance and that's okay. We all need some help from time to time.

I'm glad you think my songwriting is good enough. I criticize myself harshly in an artistic sense, so it's good to get perspective from other people. I'm proud of you for keeping on with the path you're on and bettering yourself and your life. Whatever will make you happy, I'm all for it. And I'll always be here, should you need a little encouragment or support. No matter how long it's been. I'm definitely trying to be a much stronger version of me too. I've had my own struggles and things happen over the past few years, but they're all lessons and I've got through it all. If I can get through the things that I have from my past, I can get through anything. I've learnt so much too and I've had so much shit thrown my way, and I can say this.. no matter whats happened, what hand you've been dealt.. you are deserving of love. I am too. We both are. I'm glad you don't drown in guilt anymore. I know that was a big thing for you and I'm so proud of you for working through that. You're doing so well and I think you're amazing. I dont think I could ever think of you as anything less than amazing.

I felt a weird but good feeling and smiled when you wrote the part about how it's not clothes or hair or anything else that makes me me. Even just thinking about it again makes me smile and scrunch my face up and giggle. I've never really thought of any parts of me as "beautiful", but I like hearing you say it. I do know how you feel about tattoos, haha. I bet your tattoos are lovely too. I'm glad to know that hasn't changed because I have some quite big ones now too. I plan on loads more. But right now I'm focusing on planning more things to do and going more places next year. That's what I really want to do. I want to explore and meet new people and have new experiences. I currently have a trip to London planned for mid-August next year, partly because I'm going to a concert there, but also because I want to visit my Uncle and I want to see different parts of London. Mainly Soho and the West end. Even if I'll be staying in North East London haha, the public transport systems in London is huge, so I'll be fine and should be able to get to everywhere I want to. I plan on staying for 5/6 days so I can see and do as much as I can.

I remember us talking about when you went to see Pale Waves. I actually still have the picture you sent me of you with them. I didn't get to meet them, but they were really good. I really enjoyed the gig. I've been watching all the Space-X launches over the past few years, ever since they did the first Dragon mission to the ISS. So of course, I know all about the Artemis missions hehe. Its a really exciting prospect, that we will one day visit another planet. And someday go back to the Moon. I'm sat at the spare bedroom/my office window looking up at the moon right now actually as I type this. She's very bright in the sky tonight. Almost ethereal, but of course.. beautiful.

I'm currently sat here listening to an album called Krystal by an artist I really like, Matt Maltese. I think you might like it too. I hope that this post wasn't too long and waffley haha. Although I know you'd probably like reading it anyway, even if it is. Oh and I really enjoyed your demos on SoundCloud. I especially loved 2am and Untitled. Those were my favourites. I've listened to them quite a few times now. I hope that's okay and you don't find that weird. I love hearing things that you make.

Here's some pictures for you.. how could I not remember everything about you? You're you.

#him

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drwilfredwaterson · 10 days

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Taylor Swift - The Tortured Poets Department - "The Prophecy" #26/13+13

The TTPD mural, located at 25 W. Grand Ave. in Chicago's River North neighborhood, contains clues about the album release. It's filled with the letters "TTPD," and the number 13. (NBC Chicago)

Earthquake: 03:05:52 GMT+2 Jerusalem, Israel, April 18th, 2024 Pre-TTPD Release: 20:05:52/8:05:52 PM CDT Local Time Richview, Illinois (Approximately 43 minutes (2580 seconds) after the TTPD post)

"There are so many different ways that someone can be beautiful. For me, I think that when I meet someone and there's that magical thing about them that makes them unforgettable, it's that they're sincere and honest and whoever they are, be that funny, happy, sad, you know, going through a rough time, sarcastic, I think that these personality traits that come through when somebody is really sincere is what makes them beautiful." - Taylor Swift

Martina McBride - This One's For The Girls

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Published: October 2, 2009 (275th day) Duration: 4:02 (242 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTowId2CWHA oTowId2CWHA (2) oTowIdCWHA acdhiootww 1+3+4+8+9+50+50+100+900+900=2025. 2025+2=2027. 2027+242=2269. 2269+275=2544.

Strong's Concordance #2544 Chamor: The same as chamowr; donkey; father of Shechem Original Word: חֲמוֹר

John 12:12 The next day the great crowd that had come for the festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. John 12:13 They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, “Hosanna!” “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Blessed is the King of Israel!” John 12:14 Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, as it is written: John 12:15 “Do not be afraid, Daughter Zion; see, your king is coming, seated on a donkey’s colt.” John 12:16 At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that these things had been done to him.

Mark 5:38 When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. Mark 5:39 He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” Mark 5:40 But they laughed at him. After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. Mark 5:41 He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). Mark 5:42 Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished. Mark 5:43 He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this, and told them to give her something to eat.

Matthew 6:19 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Matthew 6:20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

1 John 3:5 And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him.

John 20:1 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. John 20:2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!” John 20:3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. John 20:4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. John 20:5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. John 20:6 Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, John 20:7 as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. John 20:8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. John 20:9 (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

Strong's Concordance #52 Abishay: "my father is Jesse," an Israelite name Original Word: אֲבִישַׁי

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Pages 870 and 871: Isaiah 11:1 But a shoot shall grow out of the stump of Jesse, A twig shall sprout from his stock. Isaiah 11:2 The spirit of the Lord shall alight upon him: A spirit of wisdom and insight, A spirit of counsel and valor, A spirit of devotion and reverence for the Lord. Isaiah 11:3 He shall sense the truth by his reverence for the Lord; He shall not judge by what his eyes behold, Nor decide by what his ears perceive. Isaiah 11:4 Thus he shall judge the poor with equity And decide with justice for the lowly of the land. He shall strike down a land with the rod of his mouth And slay the wicked with the breath of his lips. Isaiah 11:5 Justice shall be the girdle of his loins, And faithfulness the girdle of his waist. Isaiah 11:6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, The leopard lie down with the kid; the calf, the beast of prey, and the fatling together, With a little boy to herd them. Isaiah 11:7 The cow and the bear shall graze, Their young shall lie down together; And the lion, like the ox, shall eat straw. Isaiah 11:8 A babe shall play Over a viper's hole, And an infant shall pass his hand Over an adder's den. Isaiah 11:9 In all of My sacred mount Nothing evil or vile shall be done; For the land shall be filled with devotion to the Lord As water covers the sea. Isaiah 11:10 In that day, The stock of Jesse that has remained standing Shall become a standard to peoples--Nations shall seek his counsel And his abode shall be honored.

Strong's Concordance #2580 chen: From chanan; graciousness, i.e. Subjective (kindness, favor) or objective (beauty) -- favor, grace(-ious), pleasant, precious, (well-)favored. Original Word: חֵן

Luke 1:28 The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Luke 1:29 Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. Luke 1:30 But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. Luke 1:31 You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call Him Jesus. Luke 1:32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give Him the throne of his father David, Luke 1:33 and He will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; His Kingdom will never end.” Luke 1:34 “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” Luke 1:35 The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. Luke 1:36 Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. Luke 1:37 For no word from God will ever fail.” Luke 1:38 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

Taylor Swift's Gift Giving of 2014 | SWIFTMAS

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Published: December 31, 2014 (365th day) Duration: 6:12 (372 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3yyF31jbKo j3yyF31jbKo jyyFjbKo bfjjkoyy 2+6+600+600+10+50+400+400=2068. 2068+3+31=2102. 2102+372=2474. 2474+365=2839.

Strong's Concordance #2839 chishshuq: From chashaq; conjoined, i.e. A wheel-spoke or rod connecting the hub with the rim -- felloe, to cling, i.e. Join, (figuratively) to love, delight in; elliptically (or by interchangeable for chasak) to deliver -- have a delight, (have a) desire, fillet, long, set (in) love. Original Word: חִשֻּׁק

Taylor Swift - Christmas Tree Farm

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Published: December 5, 2019 (339th day) Duration: 3:45 (225 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3rDTAdM2o mN3rDTAdM2o mNrDTAdMo addmmnort 1+4+4+30+30+40+50+80+100=339. 339+3+2=344. 344+225=569. 569+339=908.

Strong's Concordance #908 bada: to devise, invent Original Word: בָּדָא

Back to the Future: BEST OF Great Scott… I know. This is heavy.

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Published: December 13, 2019 (347th day) Duration: 0:49 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXboNl2vWH8 LXboNl2vWH8 LXboNlvWH bhllnovwx 2+8+20+20+40+50+700+900+300=2040. 2040+2+8=2050. 2050+49=2099. 2099+347=2446.

Strong's Concordance #2446 Chakalyah: From the base of chakliyl and Yahh; darkness, brilliance, redness of Jah/Yah/ the G-d of Israel; perhaps "wait for Yah/Jah/the G-d of Israel," agriculture, wisdom, father of Nehemiah Original Word: חֲכַלְיָה

Christmas tree cultivation is an agricultural, forestry, and horticultural occupation which involves growing pine, spruce, and fir trees specifically for use as Christmas trees. (Wikipedia)

1 Corinthians 1:4 I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. 1 Corinthians 1:5 For in him you have been enriched in every way—with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge— 1 Corinthians 1:6 God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you.

Matthew 2:1 Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, Matthew 2:2 “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.”

Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Matthew 7:2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.

Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Earthquake: M 2.2 - 7.1 km (4.4 mi) E of Richview, Illinois

2024-04-19 01:05:52 (UTC) 38.377°N 89.099°W 10.0 km depth

Near North Cricket Lane and Interstate 64, East Pleasant Road, Rayse Creek, East Elgin Road, North White Swan Lane/County Road 14, North Propeller Lane, East Houston Road, North Petersburg Land, BNSF Railroad tracks, and North Deal Lane.

Taylor Swift - 1989 World Tour - "Clean" Speech - Salt Lake City, Utah

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September 4, 2015 (247th day) (Surprise song: "You Belong with Me") Duration: 7:55 (475 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISLHf0EHjyg ISLHf0EHjyg (0) ISLHfEHjyg efghhijlsy 5+6+7+8+8+9+600+20+90+400=1153. 1153+0=1153. 1153+475=1628. 1628+247=1875.

Strong's Concordance #1875 darash: to resort to, seek, consult, inquire of, inquire, investigate (a matter), to follow Original Word: דָּרַשׁ

Taylor Swift 1989 World Tour Set List: #10 - "Clean"

Taylor Swift's 1989 World Tour Propeller Stage: This stage was designed by Taylor Swift and her team to allow her to be as close as possible to as many fans as possible. The ends spun at up to 20 miles per hour and it tracked on rails like a locomotive. It held up to 13 people, including Taylor, of course.

Taylor Swift - The Man

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August 22, 2019 (234th day) Duration: 4:15 (255 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqAJLh9wuZ0 AqAJLh9wuZ0 (9, 0) AqAJLhwuZ aahjlquwz 1+1+8+600+20+70+200+900+500=2300. 2300+9+0=2309. 2309+255=2564. 2564+234=2798.

Strong's Concordance #2798 Charashim: plural of charash; mechanics, the name of a valley in Jerusalem -- Charashim, craftsmen; a man of Judah Original Word: חֲרָשִׁים

Strong's Concordance #1 ab: father, G-d as father of his people, head of household, family or clan, ancestor, grandfather, originator or patron of a class, profession, or art, figurative of producer, Generator, figurative of benevolence & protection, Aleph, first letter; in post Biblical Hebrew = numeral 1 Original Word: אָב

Strong's Concordance #285 Achitub: From 'ach and tuwb; brother of goodness; "my brother is goodness," Achitub, the name of several priests -- Ahitub Original Word: אֲחִיטוּב

10: October Birthstone: Opal. "When I was bullied in school my mom used to take me to T.J.Maxx after school to look at the opal jewelry" - Taylor Swift

T.J. Maxx: Our mission is to deliver great value to our customers every day.

Taylor Swift - The Best Day (Taylor's Version)

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Published: April 8, 2021 (98th day) Duration: 4:09 (249 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZeI9I875Ig KZeI9I875Ig KZeIIIg egiiikz 5+7+9+9+9+10+500=549. 549+9+875=1433. 1433+249=1682. 1682+98=1780.

Strong's Concordance #1780 din: judgment, judgement, justice, law. Original Word: דִּין

Strong's Concordance #64 Abel Keramim: From 'abel and the plural of kerem; meadow/plain of vineyards; a place in Ammon Original Word: אָבֵל כְּרָמִים

Strong's Concordance #14 abah: to breathe after, i.e. (figuratively) to be acquiescent, to be willing, to consent; father Original Word: אָבָה

38.377°N

Strong's Concordance #38 Abiyyam: From 'ab and yam; father of (the) sea (i.e. Seaman); "father of (the) sea," fathers; an Israelite name Original Word: אֲביָּם

Strong's Concordance #377 ish: from 'iysh; to be a man, i.e. Act in a manly way -- show (one) self a man. Original Word: אִישׁ

89.099°W

Strong's Concordance #89 Age: the father of one of King David's Thirty Mighty Men Original Word: אָגֵא

Strong's Concordance #99 agem: sad, lake Original Word: אָגֵם

Jesus is proud and returns to the vineyards of the Father (Hebrew): אִ ישׁ אָ בָהאָ גֵא אָגֵ םאָבֵ לכְּרָמִים אֲב יָּ ם

I'm going to go and worship the Lord. (Yiddish): אִ ישׁ אָ בָהאָ גֵא אָגֵ םאָבֵ לכְּרָ מִיםאֲב יָּ ם

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. John 15:2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15:3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. John 15:4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. John 15:7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15:8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15:9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. John 15:11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Taylor Swift Makes 'Generous' Donation to Joyful Heart Foundation

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August 17, 2017 (229th day) Duration: 1:19 (79 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNCJqb9eaI ZgNCJqb9eaI (9) ZgNCJqbeaI abcegijnqz 1+2+3+5+7+9+600+40+70+500=1237. 1237+9=1246. 1246+79=1325. 1325+229=1554.

Strong's Concordance #1554 Gallim: plural of gal; springs; "heaps," a place near Jerusalem Original Word: גַּלִּים

Taylor Swift-Stripped Interview

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Published: April 8, 2011 (98th day) Duration: 4:28 (268 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oskUo8Ep-9k oskUo8Ep-9k oskUoEp-k ekkoopsu 5+10+10+50+50+60+90+200=475. 475+8+9=492. 492+268=760. 760+98=858.

Strong's Concordance #858 athah or atha: to come, to arrive/be present, to become, to bring, "are you?" Original Word: אָתָה

Taylor Swift Arm Lyrics - Speak Now World Tour: Auckland, New Zealand: March 18, 2012: “You know wherever I am, I’ll come running to see you again” – James Taylor, You’ve Got A Friend.

Taylor Swift - The Prophecy (#26/13+13)

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Published: April 19, 2024 (110th day) Duration: 4:10 (250 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKLNmXPTXMc gKLNmXPTXMc cgklmmnptxx 3+7+10+20+30+30+40+60+100+300+300=900. 900+250=1150. 1150+110=1260.

Strong's Concordance #1260 Bered: From barad; hail; a place near Kadesh, also an Ephraimite Original Word: בֶּרֶד

In April 1974, the Native American members of the group Redbone basked in the success of their million-selling gold single “Come and Get Your Love.” The single was a Top-Five hit on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart and hit #1 in several U.S. cities across the country. A Top-Five single—what did that kind of success mean for you as a Native artist in those days? It was something I had already envisioned in my head. I had always loved Native American chants and music and I knew If I worked hard I would come up with something that would appeal to everybody. How did the song “Come and Get Your Love” come about? Lolly called me up at 3 am; we had just come back from Philadelphia from doing a tour and he said “Pat, can you come over? I think I have a great idea for a song. I want you to come and help me write it.” I was pretty tired and I said, “Oh man, I am not going to come over there and work on this unless we write together.” He said of course. My girlfriend and I went over there at 3 AM and we listened to it – it was nice, but it wasn’t structured. I think it was 11 minutes long. I sat in the music room and worked on it, structured it with a bassline and cut it to 6 minutes. We recorded it in the studio, and when it came out, there was only one name on it – Lolly Vegas. (Laughs) I said, “Wait a minute man, I got up at 3 in the morning with you, that’s my bassline!” When the record came out they wouldn’t play it because they said it was too long. Michael Atkinson, the head of promotions at CBS-Epic, came down to Whiskey-a-Go-Go when we were performing with Ronnie Milsap, and he said, “Pat If you go into the studio and break this down to 3 minutes, you’ll make it to number one.”

Hail (Hail), what's the matter with you feel right Don't you feel right, baby Hail, oh yeah, get it from the main vine, all right I said-a find it, find it, go on and love it if you like it, yeah Hail (Hail), it's your business if you want some, take some Get it together, baby Come and get your love Hail (Hail), what's the matter with you feel right Don't you feel right, baby? Hail, oh, yeah, get it from the main vine, alright?

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