#i need to rant and i can't rant to a lot of people irl because its a personal thing so I'll rant here because u guys can't do anything heh

[tsams-confessions]

We're coming off anon with this one boys. It's long and I apologize but it's been weighing on my mind for quite some time.

There are three things people tend to know me for in this fandom. My art, my fanfics, or my thread on TSBS server. Said thread is a place where I talk about the psychological aspects of the show, as well as do character analyses and sometimes even analyze entire lore uploads for the kicks and giggles. I'm a psychology major, I also have ASPD. I made the thread so I could talk about Eclipse, who at the time I suspected had the same disorder I do and which was later confirmed less than a week after I made the thread. Since then Ruin has also been confirmed as an ASPD haver, which I personally deeply enjoy. It's fun for me to talk about my disorder and relate it to the show since ASPD is really hard to understand. 99% of people are inherently capable of empathy, and about 2% of that 98% lose that ability during childhood. So it's understandably not a very well-understood disorder. It's also a very scary and dark disorder, and I can say that honestly because I live with it. Due to this fact, it tends to be villainized in media, and I am very refreshed by the fact that TSAMS does a good job of not making their ASPD havers raving lunatics with a thirst for blood. 

Anyways, that's just background information. So far I haven't met very many weirdos about ASPD in this fandom. Almost everyone is very chill with the fact that I am a sociopath and I haven't received a ton of weird comments about it. It's a relief since I deal with a lot of open stigma and harassment irl because I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not. However, there was an instance in my thread when I was actively talking about ASPD, and a new member decided to. . . I don't even know. It was creepy and weird, and really uncomfortable. They basically told me that I'm 'too nice of a person to be a sociopath' and that they could tell that I wasn't a sociopath because they see the good in people. They also said that they were surprised that there are sociopathic people and inferred that sociopaths are pretending, whatever that means. They kept going to keep making weird and stigmatized comments about the disorder, as well as continuing to compliment me in a very unnerving way. I think about it a lot because it was very uncomfortable to be interrupted like that in the middle of talking about ASPD. There was the new mod online and participating in the conversation, but they didn't say anything to the person who was actively making me uncomfortable, even though I expressed such in the chat. 

I deal with a lot of stigma and ableism in my day-to-day life, where people tell me that I can't be a sociopath because of really stupid shit. Like the fact, I get along with people or want to help people in the medical field. Or the time-tried 'but you're a woman' comments. I don't understand why the mod kinda just left me to fend for myself and ignored the person causing issues, and while I don't hold it against them, I do have anxiety about this situation repeating itself in the future. It's not easy to talk about a disorder that the average person could not even dream of understanding, and it's even harder when people who don't know you are trying to tell you that your disorder is fake based on flimsy reasoning. It's really invalidating of the actual hellscape I had to survive to be able to even turn 18, and it rakes up my anxiety to a 10 just at the thought of it. There's not a lot of safe spaces for someone to talk about having a dark disorder, and even less for something as rare and misunderstood as ASPD. It's hard enough as it is being a high-functioning sociopath, and I just needed to rant, I suppose. Haha, could make it a "tl;dr even I get offended sometimes."

Anyway, not dropping names, but it wasn't a private matter. Nor am I upset with the mods, it's just a thing that happened that I think about a lot because it's a very rare thing for me to be offended. Glad that the majority of this fandom that I've interacted with has been willing to hear me out ASPD, but I just worry about having a repeat situation like this. It's a very sad thing to witness in this fandom that talks about inclusivity. We can't pick and choose our disorders, and where there are canon sociopaths in the show one would think the fans would try to be a little more educated on the disorder (not directed towards anyone and I appreciate the people who are willing to ask me things about it instead of making assumptions).

.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood #ableism cw

[poppiesforthirteen]

went back and tagged all the posts from the past few days and you are all so smart and talented i'm so impressed

#it's been too long since i've been in a fandom where characters i care about Actually Die #i'm legitimately grieving and it's. weird. doesn't feel like i should be #for right now everything's a painful memory and so i've been quick reblogging a lot because i KNOW i don't wanna miss out #but i can't engage #so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth everyone to my brain 13 is still alive and yaz is still there and i'm just struggling a bit #& if you see this thank you beloved for having been around ilysm 💕💕 #need a stronger support system where's all my irl dw people lol #haven't been able to make myself rewatch yet even though i think it'll help #sorry for the rant had to get that off my chest ghhh

[doberbutts]

I think the terms TMA/TME work best when they're used as rules of thumb, rather than expected to function as strict categories. They're often helpful, but occasionally they can become obfuscatory, and there are edge cases where they can't be neatly applied. In those cases, they should be set aside, but with an understanding that they will be brought back into conversations when helpful.

To give a personal perspective - I'm a trans masc individual who has, upon occasion, experienced misdirected transmisogyny. I was on T for 5 years, then came off it (partly due to health problems, partly due to starting to identify as nonbinary rather than as a man) and began presenting in a more feminine manner, and people would regularly mistake me for a trans woman.

When people thought I was a trans woman, I did notice an increase in hostility, harassment and unwelcome advances from strangers. Groups of men would shout at me in the street, mothers would glare at me and physically pull their children further away from me if I came near. I also started getting catcalled and couldn't enjoy a night out in a club without being groped. I'd experienced some of these things as a trans man and as a girl, but probably never at such a high frequency or so intensely.

I definitely think I got a taste of transmisogyny and people do still assume I'm trans fem from time to time. But I still wouldn't describe myself as TMA. I don't shout it from the rooftops, but if it feels relevant in the context of a conversation, I will say I'm TME. Because I think the terms are about overarching dynamics, rather than whether or not an individual has ever faced a single instance of transmisogyny.

For me, there was always a sense of distance between myself and any negative experience, that came from knowing they'd misread my AGAB - "that lad just called me a chick with a dick! How funny! I'd be so lucky!" / "You're harassing me for using the female showers at the gym when I am literally menstruating. Are you going to stop being a creep, or do I have to show you my bloody tampon?" There's a degree to which I can sidestep or disavow their idea of me in a manner trans women can't.

I also don't know what it's like to deal with many other elements of transmisogyny, or deal with it as an overarching narrative in one's life rather than a freak episode.

I think it's fair to say I have at times been a grey area and I could use my experiences to argue against the validity of TME/TMA, but I don't want to do that. I don't like it when the terms are just used as a way to say AFAB/AMAB while being perceived as less problematic. But I think it is helpful to have little shorthand reminders about specific power dynamics that do have an impact in our communities. I have absolutely seen transmisogyny play out in queer spaces, both online and IRL, and I think it's worth having vocabulary that emphatically reminds people to check themselves and to not assume they don't have internalised bias against trans women just because they're trans masc.

Trans women are a boogeyman in popular culture and the collective unconscious in a way trans men never have been (at least, not to anything like the same extent). Trans women face an intensity of monstering that I think most people won't understand unless they spend a lot of time sharing space with and listening to trans women. The rapid adoption of TMA/TME feels like an attempt to fast-track that understanding en masse. Maybe it's a bit clumsy, but I do think it's having an impact and important conversations are happening. I don't know if the terms will stick or fall out of use. Having been in the trans community for over a decade and seeing how our vocabularies evolve, I'm inclined to think they'll stick around for a few years and then largely disappear. But I feel that while trans women are finding them useful, we need to be respectful of that fact.

Idk sorry to rant in your askbox, I wanted to give my two cents. Feel free to ignore lol

I'm going to be a bit blunt here: in the span of time I've been off tumblr to, you know, sleep... I've gotten 20 different asks trying to convince me to like the usage of tma/tme and also several transphobic asks about my top surgery. The transphobic ones I blocked and deleted because I'm literally 3 weeks out and will not be dissuaded. But I'm simply not willing to continue arguing a point I've made very clear that I don't love the usage of this particular theory the way it's currently being used.

You can like it for yourself. I have said this over and over again. I do not like it for me, and do not think it is accurate for my life or my experiences or the reality that is what I have to go through on a regular basis. True to everything else that I've posted, I don't really care what you call yourself. If you want to call yourself TME and you believe that framework works for your experience, more power to you. Just don't label me that, because I don't think it works for mine.

Trans women are absolutely a boogeyman in a way that trans men often aren't. That is, unfortunately, one of the ways that hypervisibility is such a curse. Everyone knows what a trans woman is, and a good majority of those people also think the only good one's a dead one. That's bad. That's transmisogyny, and we should ally with trans women to help fix this problem.

Also unfortunately, as trans men become more and more visible to the world, instead of facing mass erasure and dying in silence or escaping to live in stealth, trans men are also beginning to become a boogeyman as well. Now we are a social contagion, a craze, with rapid onset gender dysphoria, mutilating ourselves and ruining our precious bodies, carving out our wombs, simultaneously debasing ourselves and also becoming predators lurking to snatch daughters up and forcefeed them our ideology, betraying women by becoming a mockery of men. What's worse, we tend to politically close ranks with trans women and cis women alike so it's harder for transphobic lawmakers to divide and conquer as they're used to with cis men, so instead they have to demonize us to prevent any further allyship.

That's the conversation trans mascs are trying to have.

Genuinely, I do agree that trans women face an othering that most people do not grasp without understanding transmisogyny theory, which is why I think everyone should have at least a basic understanding of it. But I also think that's true of many other demographics, and that if we want to get out of the pit that bigoted society put us in, we've got to work together to do so. It was, after all, the combined efforts of Marsha P Johnson AND Storme de Laverie that brought us out in the open. And among me friend group, we have people from all different races and backgrounds and genders and more locking arms to ensure the safety of each other, wanting to understand and know each other, lifting each other up.

[hadesoftheladies]

if you're a radfem (or feminist in general) chances are you're dealing with these: repressed anger and the effects of gaslighting

if you're exhausted a lot (without strenuous physical activity and lack of sleep), find yourself having outbursts of strong emotion, feeling desperate for a form of escape, fantasizing about drastic measures, anxious and "forgetful" about memories you have, nervous about speaking about your experiences . . .

here's some tricks on how i've been coping:

-boundaries. if you can cut off people (irl or online) that cause you to spiral into hate, frustration, anger at their ignorance/malice, do it. even if it's a musician whose one song you like. or your brother or dad. limit time as much as possible with them. the less access they have, the less relevant they become, the more energy you conserve.

-do art! create something, it doesn't matter what it is. express those emotions! make sure you're doing it in a judgement-free zone. it's important you don't become a critic at this time. do messy, honest art (sometimes i write short scenes of gay/lesbian characters to cope with the homophobia in my life, and it makes me feel MUCH better and less cynical, sometimes you need to create beauty to remember it exists in the world)

-get out! get out into nature, if you can. if you can't immerse yourself in some form of it. try watching a potted plant for a while or watch insects. take interest in the mundane aspects of life. see that leaf curl? that ant? you're part of that. when you see the clouds, remember they are part of the cycle. the earth grows into its beauty as you do. the moon is the sky's cycle tracker. you belong to this world. you belong in it. this is your home. revel in it.

-if you can, and if you want to, hang out with animals. animals are great companions with none of the misogyny, internalized or otherwise! they don't mind if you cry, either. seriously, if you need non-draining, non-complicated companionship, animals are a good option. it's also good to remember you're a simple animal sometimes, with simple needs. sometimes all you need is a nice belly rub and a little treat.

-cultivate female friendships where it's safe to rant and also not all about ranting. your friendships should be a comfort, not a chore. you need irl community. if you can access it at this time, if you can find a way to cultivate it, please do. it may save you

-it is okay to enoy things despite the evil in the world. you don't have to be an activist 24/7. go watch your favorite movie. listen to your favorite comedian. and let down your guard while you're enjoying that little something. it's important you don't fall into analyzing things.

-for the gaslighting, start having conversations where you make it explicitly clear that you want the other party to ONLY listen. also, JOURNAL, even if it's just a paragraph or two sentences. write down the small important facts of your day. you'll either build a more reliable memory or come to see how reliable your memory is. just don't hang out with people that are constantly testing you. that is not an environment where you develop healthy trust in yourself.

-fight back! these are some ways to heal from the bruising of the world, but honestly? you need to acknowledge how RIGHT and GOOD your anger is. and one of the best ways to do that is to fight back! do something that addresses part of the injustice your heart is screaming about. it doesn't have to be big, it just needs to help someone and address the situation. address the alarms in your brain telling you something isn't right and you have to do something about it. scratch that itch! do that something. you will feel really good

please feel free to add any other tips you guys may have for cultivating joy, hope and energy, because we don't have to be miserable while/for doing the right thing

#radfem #radblr #feminism #radical feminism #radfems please touch

[saintobio]

Omg ok ok hello! I had this huge rant in my head about sy and sn so pls feel free to ignore it, but I love your writing so much and it gives me some STRONG FEELINGS. First of all it surprised me that I like the way you write y/n cuz she doesn't become a "bitch" after the whole deal with Gojo and have some elaborate revenge plan, but she is also not a goody two shoes (even if she stayed with Gojo earlier but she had a lot of external pressure to stay in the marriage). Not that those tropes are necessarily bad but it's just more realistic this way. She's just a person who has been deeply hurt and is trying to do right by others. Even if she has made big mistakes, she still wants to make up for them cuz she's not completely in the right either. Also getting bashed by everyone for trying to make amends/ not following their advice regarding you own life; while very triggering for me (lol) is also just such a natural reaction. Not right, just natural. When things get out of people's hands and they want to blame someone for it, they often go for the one who is actually trying and won't retaliate if for nothing than to just keep the peace. Also wanting people to understand your side of the situation yet feeling undeserving of it at the same time because of your mistakes is UGHHH I feel like you do that so well! It's amazing but genuinely heartbreaking to see how far Satoru has come as a person too. Also when he thinks about how he wants to be a better person for Akemi IT MADE ME WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL... cuz WHY COULDN'T HE BE LIKE THAT FOR US!!! At the same time we have moved on without him, so if we are allowed that luxury then why isn't he? It's just so ANGSTY AND SO SO GOOD! Because we love Satoru we always will but he had a chance and he fricked it over terribly! So it would be idiotic to go back to him but at the same time the heart yearns for him. This is a side tangent but whenever any character says "this is not like you", "you have changed, this isn't how you'd act" makes me so MAD lol (maybe bc I am triggered?) But these guys WATCHED MY GIRL GO THROUGH SOME HORRIFIC SHIT AND STILL EXPECT HER TO NOT BE PERMANANTLY AND IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED???!! ;-;; IDK what they want from her oof >.< I do think Akemi is a shitty friend but I can't bring myself to hate her completely. Seeing them together is so ANGER INDUCING AAAAA (and her wanting a family with him is fine BUT THIS EARLY?!JUST AFTER ADMITTING YOU FEEL "SORRY" FOR BETRAYING US?! IT MAKES ME WANNA HURL HER TRHOUGH CONCRETE) but at the same time Satoru and Akemi both deserve someone who can love them. It feels hypocritical to be angry when we ourselves told him to move on and find someone who can love him the way he deserves. It's just very very shitty it had to be them. Sera is also such an interesting character. She has a lot of traits that I admire a lot. Her resourcefulness and complete and utter pride/confidence and being unashamed to ask for things/ stand up for herself (even when she is wrong) is something I wish I had sometimes. Still wanna stick her head through a toilet tho and yet when a person who slept with a married man can see the bloody violation of girls' code that is sleeping with your bff's EX HUSBAND oh BOY you should KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. I have no strong feelings for Toji (cuz I don't like him much anyways but that's just personal bias XD )but I do think his anger and frustration is well founded especially since he runs over whenever the reader needs him. He's so supportive and invested and honestly he deserves someone who can give that back to him. It's kinda sad but then again I don't like him much to begin with lol.

OH AND THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER IS SOOOOO PAINFUL. To always be the second choice even for YOUR SON OHHH MAN I'D RATHER YOU PUT A KNIFE THROUGH MY HEART ;-;

All in all I hate how much I love this series and love to hate these characters and take out my repressed anger on them cuz I can't do that irl. This series is my Roman Empire lol. It's so painful, yet so beautiful and it makes you FEEL so many things and yet hold out hope for things to become better. I love this, love you and your writing- ok mwah bye bye (and thank you if you read this rant put together by my post nap, barely coherent brain) I have so much more that I want to say. I can write essays about this series and how it uses so many technically "cliche" tropes but it is anything but cliche . Truly some of the best angst I have read like ever!

oh wow !! i don’t even know what to say, this feels like such a comprehensive review of the sy series sdksks but i think many readers could definitely relate with some of ur points here :D this is such a nice perspective to read, thank you so much for sharing and tysm for reading sn/sy aaaaa i’m happy u enjoy the angst as much as i do <3

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

[autistic-evil-xisuma]

ok. sorry to post discourse here but continuing to quietly seethe about it is unproductive & will eventually make me explode. so.

here is why I have come to really hate the cane user goodtimeswithscar headcanon!

(first of all, a disclaimer; I'm aware that Scar doesn't care about people portraying him in fanworks with or without his irl disability. I'm not white knighting for him. This rant is on the behalf of myself & my disabled friends who have similar feelings on it.)

Because Scar is disabled in real life, a lot of fans also want to portray his character as disabled in fanart too. Which is awesome! not a bad thing!

It is difficult though. Scar, playing Minecraft, is piloting an effectively able-bodied character. With his disability & the tech available in real life, IRL-Scar wouldn't be able to navigate the world the way he does in game.

To portray character-Scar as disabled in the same way he is in real life would be to massively change how Hermitcraft and Minecraft as a game function. Which I think I've seen some people figure out how to do! Which is awesome! But obviously, it's not an easy thing to do.

So it seems that the thought process of many artists is, okay, so I can't make him as disabled as he is in real life. But I still want to portray him as disabled for representation!

So boom, a cane, a simple and obvious visual indicator of disability to draw character-Scar with! ...which doesn't require thinking about how his disability would impact him in-world, at all.

Of the people who do this, I've only once seen anyone talk about about what Scar's disability is, how it affects his life, how he functions with it and how it limits him. I hope it's needless to say that if you haven't put any thought into how a character is disabled, then... that isn't a disabled character.

Beyond that, many artists who draw Scar as a cane user will only include it when it's easy. It's not so simple to mine, or build, or have an archer superhero persona, or run around the server in general with a cane. So as soon as the context makes it inconvenient, the cane is gone, making it essentially a prop, not a genuine disability aid. (Of course, there are ambulatory cane users. But it's real obvious if the cane being there or not in art is completely based on convenience.)

When the headcanon is used like this, it isn't to show a genuinely disabled character. It's just for the look of one, which can be forgotten whenever it doesn't suit the context.

Scar is a very popular character. And this headcanon is getting more and more common. There isn't any getting away from it short of blocking Scar tags entirely. The constant message I feel like I'm getting from this fandom is that cane users — like myself — are just the version of disability that's easier to ignore.

I know people who do this aren't trying to cause harm, or purposefully being ableist. But it still is. Giving a character the watered-down aesthetic of disability while still being effectively able bodied isn't representation. It sucks, and imo it's better to portray Scar as non-disabled than to do this.

(And yes, I know this isn't always how it goes. Some people who headcanon Scar as a cane user do write him as genuinely disabled, especially people who are projecting their own disability. No salt to them, this isn't who the post is directed at.)

So. my points are these, I guess.

please. please don't just slap a cane on your Scar design and go Yay representation! it doesn't work like that.

In general, if you want to write or draw a disabled character, you need to spend time thinking about what their disability is and how it impacts their life. And show it.

If you're going to take away a character's disability whenever it isn't convenient then just. don't make a disabled character at all.

#sorry. im angry and exhausted. #discourse #scar #goodtimeswithscar #the tag is big enough they can handle me maintagging this. #hermitcraft discourse #ableism #fandom ableism #TBH. i see people do this with his wheelchair too. which is just as bad #but i do think its more common with the cane and also i need to let this post go or ill be here forever #🌙

[entropy-sea-system]

OK OK impromptu rant but I need to get this out there as I still feel somewhat connected to the aro community-

I have been watching the tags, I've been talking the people in my local a-spec community and I think it amazes me just how incredible the relationships put forth by aro and aces are, while the communities just don't reflect any of it.

I've stopped identifying with the aroallo label because there was no sense of community associated with it. The a-spec spaces are made for aces only and the ace stuff in them is abhorrent. I am tired of people passing it off as repulsion, while still seeing people saying "hookers" are disgusting in a-spec tags. I'm tired of people saying PDA is bad. I'm tired of people acting like aros and aces can only be clueless cinnamon rolls. I'm tired of people being so so so stuck in their own perspective of the world they act like people in romantic relationships can't be happy. So on and so forth.

The concepts we have are passionating. They're the coolest ones I've been exposed to in queer communities. However, nobody thinks about them. Nobody speak about them. All we have is endless messages about how the world is so so confusing or hatred directed at sex and romance. I get that but I wish we went even a tiny bit past that really. It's a community filled with adults that feels so immature and I honestly think there is some sort of self infantilization going on. I don't like that I don't have symbols that aren't associated with uwu smol bean dragon lover stuff. It makes me sick and is why I don't identify with it anymore but it's genuinely sad to see because technically that's still the people who will relate to me the most.

It feels like people are always desperate to understand how the norm works and how they can best align with it instead of fully experiencing their identity. And that's an understandable thing to do but the community is just that with sex and romance negativity sprinkled on top of it.

I wish they were angrier. I wish they were more introspective. I wish they thought about breaking the norms more instead of headcannoning every female character without a love interest as aroace and talking about how gross sex is. I wish I felt like I can connect with the people who are supposed to be at least partly like me.

Anyway you're cool and I hope you're doing well! Sorry to drop all of this onto you but yeah I trust you with my ranty feels about the community.

We didn't really expect this ask but thank you for sending it!!

There are a lot of issues with the aspec community, especially online, (we have no experience with irl ones yet). And what you described here explains the issues with it quite well.

I feel like most of the aspec community ends up catering to mainly aces, and to a lesser extent aros, and slightly to apls, while other atertiary is hardly discussed (and agender ppl often just lump w gender stuff instead even though its aspec). I think the community is also rather divided, personally.

We're in some discord servers w mostly other apls and aros/run by other apl aros (often also romo aro) and they tend to overall be normal about aspec identities without being negative about attractions or actions or gatekeeping aspec labels. Currently we logged off discord a bit but we have in the past been in aro spaces that had many of the issues you mention , and still come across people being that way on tumblr.

I think there is a problem where some aros think that calling romance inherently toxic is somehow "activism" and deny that romance negativity exists, then claim that they "don't have to consider every culture ever" when people state that some cultures are romance negative and do harm people for engaging in romance.

They seem to think its "punching up" and some alloaros in particular try to justify it by acting like the united states is the only country that matters and citing sex negativity as a reason for romance negativity "not existing". When aces do this about sex its harmful, but thats not supposed to be a reason to deny that being romance negative is toxic and harmful to others even if their country doesn't persecute people for engaging in romance.

I also personally see a some aros hesitant to id with ace or acespec terms that technically fit them because of how bad the ace community has been about sex and anyone who isn't ace, as well as aces and aros generally forgetting about atertiary ppl. Some of them prefer terms like lightspec or such or allospec partly because of that.

It's understandable that some people feel a disconnect from labels like aro and ace as a result of how the communities tend to be tbh. I've had moments when I didn't want to id as aro because of this, and I consider myself both aro and alloro due to my arospec orientation.

Also being tertiary repulsed and being repulsed by sex repulsion (it just happens to repulse me a lot to read about even if not stated in a sex negative way), makes it a bit hard to be around other aspecs. I feel really disgusted and triggered when other aros talk about squishes and qprs and friendships, even if I think they should be able to talk about that. Which makes it hard to be around some other aros.

I also get what you mean about people trying to align with the existing norm. I'm seeing a rise in people maligning labels they don't understand and this attitude of "the only kind of weird thats fine is the kind of weird I am", which the aspec community has certainly not been immune to either.

I feel like for some reason most aspecs I see online, especially aros, are minors? Maybe because the aromantic label only really caught on after 2005 iirc so older people less likely to have heard of it? Im not a huge fan of how aspec tends to be infantilised either. I find issues with how some of the aro symbols are very derivative of ace symbols because we are not some extension of ace we're our own community. I can also see how ppl may find it too infantilising to have symbols like frogs and griffons etc.

Also yeah what is with people doing that about characters who are women or girls and express that they don't want to get married??? Or even just don't have a love interest. I understand if aroaces want more headcanoned rep or non-aspecs I guess idk want to fill some headcanon diversity quota without actually supporting aspecs but.

Not wanting marriage or not having a love interest is not inherently equal to not wanting romance and/or sex. I feel especially that people like to assume not wanting to have children means not wanting sex (which I find pretty reductive in that its acting like thats the only reason ppl have sex, especially as a sex favorable person who doesn't want kids). And all aspecs deserve more canon rep to begin with. I think I have a gripe with ppls aspec headcanons almost always being alloace or aroace. It's like they forget other aspecs like apls, alloaros, neu aros, non sam aros, atertiary, etc. even exist!

Additionally I think its partly because romance is emphasized more for female characters that even fans decide to make their interpretations about romance/a lack there of as if its the character's only personality trait. In my opinion its just as obsessive about romance if someone thinks all there is to a character is not engaging in it. I also see people act like they're solely worried a woman/girl character is going to fall for a man/boy character they hc as aro but not often the opposite like. Just say you see romance as gendered/feminine in some way and go I guess lol.

I also feel like mainly allistic non-aspecs do this but when ppl hc an autistic character as ace or aroace it feels infantilising if theres literally no other rationale behind their headcanon. I feel desexualised at times as an autistic and thats mostly bc ppl pick up on some kind of nd thing and they assumed I'm too "innocent" to like romance or sex, or because they view us as "unable to consent"(which can be true of some people if their neurodivergence affects their ability to consent to things even as an adult, but isn't universally true.) . I think some of this perception is also rooted in eugenics (due to people equating sex with having kids and viewing disability and/or neurodivergence as a tragedy and thinking its 'bad' for disabled and/or nd ppl to have kids).

So I don't really appreciate implications that someone is ace just by virtue of being autistic. I think its also unfair to autistic aros and aces because our neurodivergence can influence our orientation, but being autistic does not mean that makes someone inherently ace and/or aro.

My physical disability is relatively mild and less talked about (chronic pain and fatigue), and I don't reveal it to most ppl(ppl who dont live with me won't know I get exhausted from non-taxing to abled ppl activities, and chronic pain is not visible at all and we can't get mobility aids due to not being independent yet) so Im not fully aware how people view my apl and aro identities in that regard.

And there is definitely an issue with aspecs trying to enforce NEW norms. They cry about how people are forced into performing romance and sex to fit in but then turn around and tell people they need to love or have friends or family or pets in order to be a good person. It's also very harmful to aspecs bc some of us are loveless or atertiary etc. in ways that aros and aces apparently hate lol. A lot of aros in particular are very platonormative.

The aro community is also rather hostile to romo aros. There are still people who exclude romo aros from the aro label or act like we have to bend over backwards and acknowledge that we are "amatonormative oppressors" for liking romance or feeling some connection to it.

I think also the meme about putting a box away on a tall shelf away from a child is relevant here. The word amatonormative is constantly misused by a lot of aros. I've seen aros call alloromantic apls "amatonormative" and act like "amatonormative" means 'person who engages in romance'.

Its not a term abt engaging in romance or liking it. It's also not an excuse to pressure people to have or like friends either. I think aros should have actual discussions about amatonormativity that aren't just US-centric and about romance(wow do aros love to ignore that monogamy, non-queer, cis, etc. are social categories deemed more valuable under amatonormative societal norms), instead of using it to describe anyone they deem as interested in romance .

On that note, a lot of them use some examples of toxic relationships as reasons to call romance toxic and almost advocate for romance to never exist(which is especially disgusting to see for me, as in my country a lot romance negative conservative rhetoric is literally worded the same way). These people almost never acknowledge that other relationships like friendship can be toxic too.

I think some of these people believe in 'morality of repugnance' in that they think if its something they personally find repulsive in some way, that means its inherently immoral, which is not conducive to having unbiased views of the world, or critical thinking. I think a lot of ppl my age and younger are especially trying to do this because Ive lost count of how many I've seen be like "ewww thats gross/weird and so its wrong/immoral", and literally spouting conservative rhetoric while thinking they're politically liberal/leftists, perhaps with different wording but yeah. (I think that one tumblr post abt ppl in that age range being 'conservative on accident', especially in the united states- though that is concerning given the way ppl from other countries tend to absorb american opinions and such too much, describes this phenomenon)

I think some aros are also still so caught up in how much of a tragedy they think their aromanticism is, and I feel bad for them but thats not all there is to being aro and its a bit weird when ppl act like it is.

I think one of the best things about being aspec for me is feeling more like I can engage in and not engage in relationships (Im only favorable to sexual partnerships w no label other than 'sexual partner', and romance only w two partners as of now, and completely averse to all tertiary/nonrose. before I fully realised my aspec identities i pressured myself to have friends and felt like I'd be obligated to be favorable to nonsexual romance if someone wanted that with me, to 'be an ally to aces', even though it repulsed me. I also felt obligated to want qprs especially after realising Im aro. Realising Im atertiary helped me stop forcing myself to want nonrose relationships.)

Anyways that was a lot of rambling but probably most of my opinions on the aro and some extent aspec community.

#aspec #aro #also lol if any aspecs see this and disagree w me just block me I dont need the drama #aromantic #actually aromantic #platonormativity #aplatonic #actually aplatonic #alloaro #aroallo #asexual #ace #arospec #queer #aspec community #aro community #atertiary #actually atertiary #nonfriending apl #asks #entropy answers #sonia-wah-wah #apl

[heckylapologist]

TW: Shawn, Racism, Ableism, Manipulation

Hello everyone. I didn't want to make this post, but I feel like it's finally time i speak out about this horrible person. They go by @shawnthevampire on here. She is very popular within the Jacksepticeye community and she is a horrible person. She is Racist, Ableist, narcissistic and manipulative. This is gonna take a while..

Shawn is manipulative. She lies and gaslights people to get her own way. She once lied about one of my friends to try to convince me that he didn't care about me, saying things like "He's a rich shit" and "Why would a rich shit care about a couple of poor, mentally disabled biological females?" She did this a lot. She manipulates and lies, and then deletes all evidence of it every happening. Not to mention if your trauma is not the exact same as hers, she will invalidate it either to your face or behind your back. Personal experience: I was having a panic attack and she said it was amusing.

She silences anyone who disagrees with her. On Discord, if you say something she doesn't like? Timeout. Try to diffuse an argument? Timeout. I once got timed out for a week because I was defending my brother from her bullying. But she got rid of it a few hours later. You cannot say ANYTHING to her that she doesn't like, or.. doesn't have. If there is something she doesn't/can't have or something she just doesn't like, You can't talk about it. One time me and my friends were talking about "Amanda the Adventurer" and she banned us from talking about it all together because she didn't like it! She abused her power so much, and the changed the rules to her own server so it was convenient for her. For example, She could talk about politics but if you tried to it was against the rules and you weren't allowed.

She's abelist. Shawn will probably deny this as she is autistic, but being autistic does not give you an excuse to being abelist. I had one person tell me how she made fun of them for being hard of hearing. And there is a whole tumblr thread where she got involved in an argument over the Jacksepticeye ego character, Jameson Jackson. She says she hates her brother all because he's more autistic than her so he needs to be taken care of a little more. She went on a whole rant about how much she hates her brother and her parents, who bend over backwards to her will and anything she wants. She treats the people close to her like shit and with disrespect with no regard to the fact that they are human and have feelings too.

She is racist. Oh ho ho ho. Shawn is racist. Because why wouldn't she stop at being abelist? I have a couple of examples. On roblox she said to someone "Bro is black Irl" because they were apparently harassing her. Then she tried to defend it when called out by saying that "History is built up on racism" and that people should be used to racsim by now. The second example is she defends the infamous app "Temu" like she is the creator herself. After me and my friends sent her multiple piece of evidence that Temu still people's data, she just turns a blind eye and has blocked people over it. When defending the app she said, and I quote, "Also, if the USA truly cared about our Internet safety, they'd stop allowing apps from other countries to be approved onto the app store". And that this was all because Temu is a Chinese company, and that all the products are cheap and "suspicious" is because its a Chinese company.

Boundaries aren't a thing to her. If you are uncomfortable by a joke she's making and you tell her, she just thinks it's funny and does it more. These mainly include sexu@l jokes. And uh, here's a personal experience. I had a crush on a friend and I told her about it, she proceeded to give me a deadline to tell them my feelings and then decided to tell them behind my back anyway.

This is just on Discord and a couple things on Tumblr. She also caused things on Wattpad but I don't have the patience or energy to get into that.

Please do not go and bully Shawn or anyone involved in this situation. If people need proof, I'll post it on Twitter. Thank you everyone.

#shawnthevampire #blocked #personal bullshit

[comkin]

THIS IS A PRO/COMSHIP/KIN SAFE SPACE. DISCRETION IS ADVISED AT INTERACTION.

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT.

Everything is under the cut! (There's a lot to scroll past)

This is a source calling blog! It is directed for kins, fictives and IRLs alike who may have problematic memories or sources.

This blog provides:

Source calling ; Searching for source mates. - Template will be added at the end of this post. This MUST be followed.

Confessions ; Source/Memory confessions. - These can be used to just get something off your chest, however if you want to rant/vent put TWs/CWs and a vent warning.

Stimboards ; 3 by 3 GIF post based on one theme. - Please be specific! It can be character, source or ship based! Feel free to request something I haven't mentioned, it may be denied though.

RULES

#1 ;; Be nice! Don’t harass anyone for any reason. If you DO NOT LIKE THIS CONTENT BLOCK US. This blog is a safe space for those who identify with problematic sources and or views, antis or those who just do not agree have plenty of safe spaces and we request you DNI.

#2 ;; We accept any form of call even if it may be considered problematic. But please keep yourself safe, do not use this blog to put yourself in danger. Anonymous is RECOMMENDED but not necessary. - Not all requests on this blog have to be considered "problematic"

#3 ;; Source/fictional age gaps are A-Okay but IRL ones are NOT. Minors should only be interacting with minors and majors only with majors for safety. (Example; Body age: 19 Looking for: anyone over 18.) If ages are not in calls I will ask for resubmission or it will be deleted.

#4 ;; There is no limit on how many entries you send and you may send them one after the other (they just won't be posted at the same time). Even if you have multiple kins/etc from one source, only one will be tagged. (On the note of tagging, all problematic calls will be tagged as such so they will not meet a super wide audience - this is for the comfort of others and safety of you)

#5 ;; All questions may be asked in the ask box! Because other people may have similar questions. Source calls should be sent in DMs please! Confessions and Stimboard requests in asks.

Calls should be sent in DMs using the following template. This will be copy pasted and posted by a mod! This is just easier because we know we'll need to reach out to people about resubmissions and we can't do that with anon on all the time.

CALLS;;

Full name:

Source:

Age: (Required)

Who you're looking for:

DNI:

Extra info:

Your @ if you want it included (this may be your main or your alt!)

STIMBOARDS;;

Please include types of GIFs you do and don't want! Eg. Slime, calligraphy, or specific objects/animals etc.

Be as specific as you can! Such as what emotions you want to convey.

This blog is currently run by only one person, so I might take some time.

The stimboards are made with help from someone who does not moderate the blog! (Contributor 🌬️)

Current Mods:

Angel - 🍮

Banner ;; Avatar by me

Intro post written with help from 🌬️. :)

(Also feel free to DM about helping moderate! Especially if you don't mind us begging for you to do stimboard requests /hj)

#problematic kin #problematic fictive #problematic introject #problematic source #problematic ships #proship #proshipper safe #proship stimboard #problematic calls #proship fictive #proship kin #comship #comshipper #comship safe

[boysthatlove]

Boss and Noeul rant

First off I want to say is that their relationship is a sight to see. I would have to describe as a more than friends less than lovers relationship because of how they interact with each other on and off screen.

With that being said let the rant begin.

Divine timing, soulmates, maybe twin flames, and magnetic attraction.

These are the words I would describe their origin story to the present (in terms of their current partnership).

So first, I would say Noeul came back to Thailand from S. Korea after graduation and after the Pandemic ( the Pandemic could be seen as a reason to begin, prolong, or delay certain events in people's lives).

Second, the day they met at casting, Noeul approached Boss first, out of every other guy at casting, he decided to approach him and not only chat with Boss to pass the time, but they exchanged contact information with the possibility that they would connect and meet each other regardless of the outcome from casting. So not only did they speak, exchange contact info, but they also get casted for LITA as a couple.

So here we are, these two guys that have been casted as each other's love interest, and as you know with most BL shows/couples, workshops can only do so much and it is encouraged that you build chemistry outside of work. And we can see they definitely did that.

That now brings me to the topic of soulmates, maybe twin flames. Soulmates or even twin flames doesn't necessarily mean romantic (Twin flames are much more complex than soul mates and I do believe that people are over using the word without truly understanding the meaning, but that's for another day).

From the a lot of their interviews ( Thank God for fandom translators, you have a special place in my heart), they speak very often of their relationship (friendship or otherwise) outside of work, where it is mainly the two of them. Overall, they have a deep connection built on trust, safety, and unconditional love (however you want to look at it).

Their soulmate or twin flame relationship is something that we may truly never understand, in it's entirety. And you know, we don't really need to.

Now as any true BL shipper, we love watching them together and they have this attraction to each other that I would describe at magnetic.

As far as we know, they talk to each other everyday and they hangout with each other just as much, but what I will say is that when they are in each other's presence, physically, they are either touching in one way, shape or form, or they are in each others orbits. I believe that Boss likes being hugged by Noeul, he enjoys his warmth (giving small spoon vibes) and Noeul is often seen falling into Boss' embrace.

You can say where there is one, the other is not far behind.

When LITA started and they had their events, and from their social media content, I really thought that they took fanservice a little too seriously, but I truly believe that they have deep affection for each other and they can't help but show it.

I have written before that while Boss and Noeul may not be in a romantic relationship, I do believe that they like each other and they both have different ways of showing it. I believe that Boss' affection towards Noeul is very direct, while Noeul's is subtle.

Boss likes to stare at Noeul, blatantly, not caring that they're in front of an audience and it is being caught on camera. But also let's not forget Boss will find some way to touch Noeul and he definitely tries to be less obvious (but the fandom always catches it). With Noeul, he catches himself much quicker, I feel like when he looks at Boss, sometimes it's in awe and I don't think he realizes it.

In addition to their height difference, they somehow fit really well with each other like a puzzle. You'll sometime see one or the other put their head in the crook of the other's neck and it fits like a puzzle. One last thing, when they hug each other ( from what I have seen on the show and irl), they look so safe in each others arms. I am not sure if I am describing it correctly, but that's how I feel.

So in conclusion to this long rant (much longer than I intended), I can't wait to see more of them. I look forward to the progression of their careers as well as their relationship.

Here is a video that gives a really good example of their relationship.

If you have made it this far. Thank you. Please excuse any grammatical errors and as a disclaimer, right now this is a secondary blog, so I can't really reply as boysthatlove. I read all the comments and don't want anyone to believe that I am ignoring them.

#love in the air #love in the air the series #bossnoeul #boss chaikamon #noeul nuttarat #boss x noeul #bl series #thai boys love #phayu x rain #thai bl

[justabigassnerd]

tw sad thoughts that I need to just get out

I hate myself.

I hate the way that I am as a person. I'm a people pleaser through and through and I literally hate being this way

I try to start establishing boundaries and protect myself and then I feel like a massive twat for doing so and then end up going right back to the way I was before

even when I am unmotivated to write I do my best to literally force myself to do so just because I feel like such a bitch for not doing it

I hate that I'm scared to form friendships both irl and online. I try to put myself out there on here and on Instagram but I've very quickly learnt that I more than likely won't get the same energy back from others (there are exceptions of course). to make matters worse is I'm quite introverted so I don't go out a lot (and I am not a big drinker so most people my age wouldn't like me on account of that bc my ideal night isn't going to pubs and clubs) and being so introverted also affects me online as well because I feel so desperate and horrible for even posting about feeling lonely or wanting friends

I have no confidence in myself and put myself down at every possible opportunity. I let people get into my head and talk me away from doing things I want to do

I tried helping out with housework the other day bc I was paranoid that my mum was mad at me for something and locked myself out of the house for over an hour in a t-shirt in the British cold. I literally sobbed on the front step for so long because I felt like such a colossal fuck up and like I can't do a single thing in this world right

not to mention I'm so sick and fucking tired of constantly coming second place to my younger brother. my parents claim they don't have favourites but it's beyond obvious that they prefer my brother over me. maybe I'm not the child they wanted and maybe I am just that much of a disappointment but either way it hurts me to my core to know my parents will always pick my brother over me

sorry for this rant I've really been struggling the past few days and this is one of the spaces I feel is truly mine to voice my thoughts

#justabigassnerd #justabigassnerd rambles #rants n rambles #personal rant #rant post #random rant #tw rant

[peaceofthespirit]

hmm rant time. something that eats away at me a lot is how like, I know that we need to be organizing our communities to help fix like, at least half of the problems in our society/culture, but I'm not the ideal person to spearhead that. Not that there is necessarily an "ideal person" for it, but like, I'm disabled and have limited energy and terrible anxiety and can't drive. I did some organizing on my college campus and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I burnt out really fast. And no one was really willing to pick up the pieces after I had to bow out (which is understandable, we were all struggling students). But like, I'm online a lot in my downtime and I am always sharing posts like "hey community is really important, talk to your neighbors, organize mutual aid!!!" but I haven't really been able to live that out irl (besides donating to people when I can) and it makes me feel guilty or bad sometimes. Not because I think we should have some kind of like, purity culture mindset about how much each person is contributing, but because I know what needs to be done but can't really do it without a lot of help that I don't have right now. It's so frustrating.

#progressive christianity #anarchism #communalism #disability

[damnation-if]

I have no strong opinions about measurements & I’ll keep my freedom temperature opinions to myself (0 is Dying Cold 100 is Dying Hot it’s intuitive!) but your tags about D&D are so true 5 ft is so specific & in a lot of situations it makes no sense (Especially when you consider it started out as wargame with role playing added in). RPG designers just use [Number] Square(s)/Hex(es), I beg of you!

one of my Biggest gripes with d&d measurements comes down to. Size. as in the Size category of creatures and objects. like the Medium size (which refers to the vast majority of humanoids and a whole bunch of regular-sized enemies like wolves and stuff) is said to occupy. essentially a square of space with a 5ft-long side. for the sake of being put on a battle map or whatever. and that... makes sense in a way even though you can obviously. fit more than one person in a square that size or like. a person and a cat or whatever but it's fine it's trying to apply a mathematical rule to a chaotic irl process that doesn't necessarily have much 2d mathematical sense worked into it.

anyway. then you get to the Large size.

any creature of Large size occupies Four Entire 5foot Squares, sides 10 feet long in either direction overall. you can. in a way. justify this for stuff like say. Horses. maybe nobody wants to stand too close to the horse thinking they'll get kicked or whatever. but then we have to consider my Eternal bugbear, Graz'zt.

Graz'zt is a demon lord (the Best one, imo, certainly the best of the big three fitey bois fiteing for the #1 spot) and so his Size category is Large. but his entire schtick is that he's a sexboi and he's basically just a humanoid guy who's pretty tall (9 feet, or a little bit less than 3m). because you know. you need to be able get it in you, if you know what i'm saying, so he can't be so big as to make that a pain for himself. he can Certainly fit within a square where one of the sides is 5 feet long. and yet to slap him on a battle map (as we had to playing fucking Out of the Abyss, god damn that module) he has a Large token and is supposed to take up a square with 10 feet sides.

he could lie down on the ground and not reach all the way along One of those sides, which a lot of human people cannot do in their Medium 5 foot square. so like. he's just standing in the middle of a vast empty 10 foot square cos no one can approach beyond a certain distance because of his Musk or something i guess. the Large token size is excessive even for a horse but it's Ridiculous for a Slightly Tall Man.

although my DM actually brought him down to Medium after we all ranted about this a bit lmfao

#what does the chaos mirror see #anon #anyway this concludes today's showing of No I'm Still Not Over Out Of The Abyss's Mistakes theatre lmfao #it's extremely funny also considering that every other demon lord's size is like. Huge at least #so the big fight at the end is just like. colossal titanic monsters versus Regular Man #and in our game Regular Man won! #although that's probably because we were focus DPsing the others and leaving him alone lmfao #my druid personally sent both orcus the loser and graz'zt himself back to the abyss which i was very pleased about... i took you down orcus #sunbeam my beloved #anyway yeah. graz'zt... Large size token. Silly #i think it's way more interesting that he has nine fingers on each hand than that he's slightly tall lmfao #they also just Waste him as a character he could do so much and be so interesting but. then again it's wizards of the coast so #why would they do a good or interesting thing when they could just. Not instead

[uselessheretic]

You know, the other thing about the whole Anger Discourse that infuriates me is that it reeks of ableist rhetoric. It's just the other, faux-progressive side of "xyz mental health issue is fake actually" because the outcome is the same-- they're denying the existence of a condition that could use some support. Like, as disabled queer living in a rural area who grew up in an abusive household, I "reasonably" have depression and issues with emotional regulation. You could probably trace back my every negative action to some trauma from my environment, and you could probably see an internal logic to everything I do because of course you could. Everyone has an internal logic that they follow most of the time. Even mentally ill people when they're being mentally ill. It's absolutely absurd to think "Oh, you can't have problems with emotional regulation because your actions make sense when I think about them and factor in your history! Everybody knows people with real problems are completely irrational and have no possible other reason to act how they do beyond Mental Illness!" Like, at that point it comes off as trying to say "you can't have a problem! You're not crazy, after all! You're too understandable and relatable!"

And it's just. It's not helpful. I've been the target of this kind of approach to mental health irl and "No! You don't really have depression or xyz! You make sense! You're just suffering because of our bigtoed capitalist hellscape society!"-- even if it holds a sliver of truth in that Societal Trauma Bad-- has the same outcome as "Xyz mental health issue is fake actually." Because at the end of the day, both these people would deny me the medication and therapy I need to make me enjoy myself and my life because they're dismissive of the fact that I do have a problem that could benefit from support. It's just that one of those arguments also pats themself on the back for their forward-thinking.

Anyway, sorry to rant in your inbox, I just didn't want to make my own post because these discussions are always a magnet for harassment, which I don't handle well for obvious reasons, even when it's just tumblr discourse.

it's so weird because i feel like we keep bringing up mental illness and trauma with ed's emotional reactions and it's always just?? ignored or minimized. like above all other reasons the thing i care the most about regarding ed and anger is how it's a reaction to trauma and what it means to see a survivor of abuse who's imperfect, but still deserves love. i feel like this is a lot of people's experience with relating to ed! a lot of his storyline centers around depression, trauma, anxiety, etc. the scene in the bathtub of him experiencing a flashback/panic attack felt so incredibly real for how that manifests in my own mental health.

survivors aren't perfect. their reactions aren't always just fear and hiding away and being a bit insecure. being able to see ed be messy in his mental health feels extremely validating especially for it to be a moc. mental health topics are minimized severely in communities of color where our experiences are brushed off as not that bad, or that it's just reacting to a shitty system, or being told you're not actually mentally ill you just need to be more disciplined. even for myself, it felt really?? REALLY hard getting support for my mental health as a teen since the time i tried my dad pulled back from going through with the appointment because i was just having "some anxiety" and not anything severe enough to be referred to a therapy service that dealt with "actual" crazy people.

it's just like fndjdjdjd ed's character is everything i've always wanted in a character of color including the flaws. especially because survivors of trauma often view themselves as irredeemably bad people or as tainted. seeing ed be able to have major flaws, where even when he hurts people, the narrative still treats him as human feels? really unique? he can do bad things, but that doesn't exist in a vacuum. he wasn't born that way and he's not out here doing it because he's evil, but because he's hurting. he still deserves a chance to be better, he still deserves to live in a world that's kind to him, and he still deserves to be loved.

and i really like that the show emphasizes the need to be soft with him and that he is fragile. moc are rarely afforded this in media and it just feels? really good to see for an older moc as well? like ed and izzy's relationship is super fucked up, but a big part of that is that it gets worse throughout the season. but i really liked the end of ep4 where ed is able to admit to izzy that he's burnt out and he needs to get out, and izzy doesn't judge him even once. he wants to help him and he agrees to ed's plan to escape piracy. it feels shockingly vulnerable for the two when you dig into it.

ugh anyways i love ed. i love that he's angry. i love that his anger is so strongly connected to fear and insecurity, and how it's almost childish really. (something something trauma therapy and connecting with your inner child and how the parts that hold your hurt tend to be younger)

he's really my perfect girl and it feels wild to me for it to get reduced to some shallow assumption when it's just? so much more than that?

#ofmd #edward teach