#i rlly b doing it to myself sometimes huh
Text
okdok (how my mam spells okie dokie; need to give her credit) some more bsg thoughts
okie btw i never properly said. i DO rlly love the themes of religion in the show. i have seen glimpses (i go through threads, bc im nosy, despite trying not 2 spoil myself) of ppl rlly rejecting it but sorryyyyy its just... yknow like- i loathe how patronising scifi can be of it sometimes, AND how bad fanbases can get. coming off of trek, well, youknow....
also completely . disavowing it .. is always soo silly 2 me bc... like im not religious myself, even, but i always find it one of the most interesting things to explore within fiction ^_^ esp esp with more scifi stuff, like... thats one of the best places to challenge and to play with it. smile. both with its relationdship between science but also how with its relationship between Humanity and how that might differ for different cultues.... and again its so disappointing the way its hanled so much of the time in many works, and by many Scifi enthusiasts. -_- bc its sooo reductive.
anyways i still sometimes feel like theres something missing from the show and i think thats just me im not sure why. like in terms of like... a certain incompleteness thats not JUST them pacing it out, or leaving things up for interpretation... but i cant uqite put my finger on it. its like i feel like maybe its just bc s1 was SO short for what it was and s2 has been very plot heavy. i think the show would have benefitted a bit more from some more establishing "filler" eps in terms of, like, worldbuilding, yknow? again- i really want to see more of the civillian side of things. i hope we get more of that ^_^ its deffo not like THE WORSTTT problem the show oculd have
BC LIKE OTHERWISE im rllyyyy loving the direction they took EVERYTHING in in season 2. omg. they set it all up so well and OUGHGHGHGG. i love how its testing everything theyve built from s1, wrt the command. absolutely crazy moves...
i was absolutely ITCHING for a presence like admiral cain and she delivered. part of me wishes it went a bit longer? just a bit. i dont think it was like... RUSHED... partially bc i do agree her takeover would have just been immediate, like it was, and i dont know what her role really could have been after they called off the assassinations. but idk- i wish we got to see a bit more of her, i guess! maybe even just an ep or so.
nonetheless she was still a really good contrast. her and the pegasus and how its run, versus galactica. and i do think.... i think i tlked before abt how sometimes i was unsatisfied with how, like, bsg kind of handled its own politics sometimes? like- specifically the roslin and zarek. i think thats moreso an issue with the latter, and again how... kind of lacking i find him, for what could be a really good and interesting opportunity to challenge roslin, who does have issues, unchecked, rather than just be kind of a minor antagonist ... & THATS EVEN MOREE the case with his presence back on kobol. like he was literally there just to cause conflict and idk like its FUNCTIONAL but its also like comeee on you can be more interesting with him! come on!
BUT here i do think with both cain and tigh's brief stint in command they did well to rlly explore it a bit more so im forgiving it. its not like that fixes that mess but this stuff was good enough for me to be like 👍uh huh, yaknow? b c it was soo good and argh im- SPEAKING OF, i am glad they did "remember" incidents like the gideon massacre, even after adama came back. again i do wanna see MORE of the civillians- but i think we're going to getthat soon, i hope? i feel it more in the air, with the introduction of that new number 6 and the cylon apologists which im rlly excited for... both bc theyre things i rlly wanted to see more from the show ^_^
anyway i feel like noneof this is that mad i just wanted to ramble in bc i haventttt properly eek and squeak i feel like i acc dont have much to say ^_6 despite rlly enjoying myself and the show LOL
sharon is still my favourite btw teehee smile
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i got a fucking. paper cut
#i wish u could archive posts on this app#or idk can u#sometime i b making posts and want to get rid of them but keep them 4 myself#i just made a big post abt me crying over king of the world by weezer but then it. was too mych so i deleted it#but. my feelings still stand that i love that song and it literally makes me lose my mind#em.txt#hm hm hmm. OH god i have so much homework#not 2 b like tremor moment but i hate being fucking shaky all the time it literally puts me in the worst mood#its such an uncomfortable feeling :( nd like not 2 b a loser but like maybe i have cardiophobia huh? okay maybe i dont Want to feel my heart#beat shake my whole entire body constantly? did my tremor ever think abt that hm? no!#i had 2 go in for a check up since ive been taking the medicine 4 a while so i didnt take it this morning so like the doctors could like#see how shaky i am lol#so when i got to school i never got the chance to take it and im so depressed like. its such a gross feeling and theres nothing that u can#rlly do abt it without the medicine lol#i feel like im being dramatic but when arent i. i have the right#as a leo moon i have the right.#like ik thats kind of lame 2 b like ‘it makes me depressed 😪’ but im literally in the worst mood when i dont take the propanolol#lol just tremor tingz 😚✨#hahahaha anyway i literally want a gf :-) wtf#i just do these huge big long tags for myself cuz i need 2 talk but i wonder if anyone actually ever reads them. much to think abt
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
i saw the requests are still open and ur writing is rlly nice hhhhh mind if i ask for underfell pap x reader where he comforts reader who have terrible social anxiety? it's ok if not tytyty (๑•ᴗ•๑)
Social Anxiety V.S Edge Lord (Underfell! Papyrus X Reader)
Aww, thank you! You're not doing anything wrong! Welcome to the social anxiety squad partner. 😎
But seriously, Social anxiety sucks big time- I'm proud of you for being able to gather the courage and request something. :)
You were invited to a college/work party (or whatever party you want, it's gonna be low key anyway) and you were absolutely dreading it.
Luckily, you had someone who could help you be kinda sociable during the event, Papyrus, the former royal guard captain and one of the most intimidating skeletons you knew.
You gently knock on the skeleton house door, the door opens to see the older yet shorter brother, Sans.
"H-Hey, is uh- Paps here?" You ask nervously, he gives you a reassuring smile, already picking up on your behavior.
"Yeah, in his office. Party or hangout?" He asks as he leads you through the house.
"Party, but it isn't, ya know, crazy. Just chill from what they've told me," Sans nods in understanding.
"B- Paps, is pretty good in these situations, but you already know that, huh?" He referred to the many times you brought Paps because of how bad your social anxiety gets sometimes and having someone familiar there helped immensely.
"Yeah but it's always nice to hear, ya know, to calm my nerves," You arrive at the office and Sans gives you a playful salute as he walks backwards.
"I wish you luck, fellow introvert," He turns the corner as you shook your head amused before knocking gently on the door.
"ENTER," You open the door gently and close it behind you. Papyrus was at his desk doing paperwork, he glanced up at you before back to his paper.
"STATE YOUR BUSINESS," He always asked this but never in a rude way, it was his way to determine if he had time for any activity you were planning.
"Um… so… A friendly acquaintance asked me to attend a party, very chill, I was wondering if you'd like to come???" He knew the reason, he gently places his pen down and looks you in the eyes.
"TIME AND PLACE?" You breathe a sigh of relief before you gladly share the information.
"I'LL BE THERE. WE'LL MEET IN FRONT OF THE BUILDING 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE EVENT. AGREED?"
"Yeah, I'm okay with that!" Papyrus smiles before returning his focus to the paperwork.
"IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS, REMEMBER TO TEXT ME, I'LL BE AVAILABLE FROM 7 A.M. TO 10 P.M." You nod.
"Alright, thank you Papyrus," Papyrus nods and you leave your friend's office feeling a lot more relaxed.
You clench and unclench your hands as Papyrus stands beside you, a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"ALRIGHT, WHAT DO WE DO WHEN ANXIETY STARTS TO RISE?"
"Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 4, out for 5 for as many times as I need. 5 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, 3 things I can smell, 2 things I can touch, and 1 thing I can taste. Holding your hand, and grounding myself with things I like,"
"AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS?"
"We leave immediately and you spoil me,"
"EXACTLY. READY?" You take a slow, shaky breath.
"As I'll ever be I suppose," Papyrus nods and gently guides you into the building and where the party is located. For the next several hours, you interacted with people, ate, drank, and stayed by Papyrus the entire time. That is until you felt overwhelmed and shuffled over to Papyrus and gently tugged his arm.
"HMM?"
"I'm uncomfortable… Can we leave?" You whisper, Papyrus nods and does the polite thing of thanking the host and bidding farewell before swiftly leaving and bringing you home. He gently sits you on your bed and wraps a blanket around you while handing you your phone.
"I'M GOING TO GET YOUR FAVORITE SNACKS, FIND SOMETHING YOU ENJOY TO WATCH AND I'LL BE BACK," You nod as Papyrus leaves, scrolling through various apps to find something you enjoy. You eventually find something as Papyrus returns with bags full of snacks.
He hands you the snacks and wraps his arms around your torso and gently places his head onto your shoulder. That's how you spend the rest of the night, cuddled up to the tall skeleton with your favorite things until you fell asleep, he never left and even cooked you breakfast the next morning. :)
#x reader#papyrus#papyrus x reader#underfell#underfell x reader#underfell papyrus#underfell papyrus x reader#mentions of sans#underfell sans#sans
95 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey Pia hope you’re doing well
I was wondering, is the thing where Arden picks up a bunch of random hobbies and commitments a part of his ADHD or does it have like a name?
I’m a highschool student and I get told by all my friends and teachers that I have overcommitment issues and part of it’s just for uni and whatever ofc but it’s also that I want to do ALL THESE THINGS
Like I’m in 4 different science competition teams, the school debating team, school orchestra, scholarship classes, editor of my school newsletter, I lead the school amnesty and unicef clubs plus the IB program and being in the national maths Olympiad team lol and I don’t want to let any of these go but it’s so stressful and I’m so tired and ppl say I have to say no to stuff which is also stressful!
Also, doing more is always portrayed as such a great thing and I feel rlly guilty letting stuff go? So I’m just reaching out because you portrayed it in such a refreshing way and I was really curious!
Firstly, massive respect for your ability to fit this ask into the Tumblr ask limits. Seriously :D
Okay secondly, Arden’s habit of picking up a bunch of random hobbies / commitments is part of his ADHD. People with ADHD have this to different degrees, and my beta in particular relates really hard to this habit of Arden’s.
But actually, one of the reasons I put this in is because this is a very bad habit of mine - which is overcommitting, and overworking. And not wanting to let anything go.
People teach you a lot of skills in your life on how to pick things up, but almost no one teaches you what to do when you have many hobbies you love, and they’re hurting you because you’re working too hard and don’t have time for your loved ones (or to even really have loved ones) as an example. And it absolutely is a crucial skill to learn for people who are dealing with this, though capitalists don’t want you to learn it.
In the media what I see is most folks having no hobbies and someone being ‘oh you have to learn some.’ I liked Arden as a contrast to that ‘no, that’s too many things, put some back.’ Where Arden’s ADHD manifests - though it’s much more controlled than it used to be - is that he desires to spend a lot of money on the thing as soon as he gets into it (because he only wants the best of the best - which wasn’t great when he wasn’t earning much money), and that he starts really hooking into it in an obsessive kind of way. Spending a night making bows for your dog is one thing. Then wanting to spend $500 and start an Etsy store small business is like...from one day of work, not great.
A lot of Arden’s life has involved choosing to let go of things he’s loved doing, for his own sanity. This is something I’ve had to do as well and I fucking hate it, and these are the techniques I’ve developed for myself (and my still frankly overcommitted ass, who has people saying ‘when are you going to do LESS’ all the time to my face).
* Remind yourself that dropping some things now doesn’t mean you’re dropping them forever. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Sometimes it’s good to put a time limit on something. ‘I’m going to drop this for four weeks / four months and put a note/reminder in my phone about it right now.’ Chances are high you are not going to be as interested in that thing in four weeks/four months. (Chances are sadly also high you may have replaced it with something else). Like, there will be science groups you can join for the rest of your life. And debate groups. And newsletters.
(That being said, none of those things count towards our grades in Australia? So I don’t know how much these things are counting towards your grades in general and I’m not going to like, touch that side of things - however overcommitment is a super fast way to do a lot of things not that well, or to suddenly get so sick you can’t do any of the things and then feel terrible while you’re sick, more on that later!).
* Time caps on certain hobbies and activities and commitments. This is to actually shoot my habit of hyperfocusing in the foot. I don’t have time to play piano for four hours, but I’m allowed to play it for ten minutes a day (sometimes more but not often). And ten minutes a day adds up over time. I literally sit down and put the timer on my phone. If say there’s something that meets up twice a week but some people only go once, be one of those people!
* Rate the things based on how they contribute to your a) career and b) quality of life and c) happiness. Anything that rates lower on the list compared to the others (that isn’t like, literal money-making work or literal classes) needs to be dropped.
* Dropping things is just actually one of the hardest parts and there’s no real trick to making this easier. I just remind myself: ‘Just because I can do this thing, and do this thing well, doesn’t mean it’s good or healthy for me to do this thing. I need to spend time with people I care about, and I need rest, and those things matter more even if they feel less like ‘accomplishments.’ I want to care for myself through my hobbies, not punish myself.’ That goes some way in keeping perspective, but look, ngl, it sucks to drop commitments if you have an accomplishment/achievement/job satisfaction addiction. It just sucks.
* Accept that you are going to feel guilty, and that guilt is just an emotion, and it doesn’t mean you’ve done something bad. Look sometimes guilt gets it wrong! Sometimes you feel crushingly guilty just for breaking a bad habit, it’s not useful, you just have to kind of be like ‘huh I’m feeling a lot of guilt for trying to look after myself, that’s really interesting, I guess I can understand that but I’m also going to try and praise myself for doing a great job. Just because this isn’t an obvious kind of achievement, I know I achieved something really big and difficult today.’
* Oh yeah, use achievement and ‘job’ type language for doing things that involve successfully taking care of yourself and your energy levels. Just...sometimes you have to ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ - chances are you’ve never been as kind to yourself or proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends, than you are for taking on too many commitments. So...challenge yourself to be kind to yourself and proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends and committing to less. Trust me, you are never going to forget how to overcommit, and you are never going to become lazy or lax because you dropped a few of the (billion) things that you’re committed to. You can afford to praise yourself for this! And generously!
* Seriously, seriously consider seeing doctors or psychologists about this. Despite a TON of PTSD, I actually see my therapist most for working too hard and overcommitting. We spend a lot of time talking about why I might not be the worst person in the world for taking a break. Take it seriously. Your list alone made me feel like I was about to have a panic attack, lmao, your friends and teachers are right, you have overcomittment issues.
* Workaholicism and work addiction is real. There is a growing amount of information about how to deal with it and it’s worth googling.
***
Er anyway that’s what I do. It doesn’t always work. I have a lot of rules in place and I abandon half of them about halfway through the year and then s u f f e r. And have been doing that for over 25 years and I’m going to say bluntly now - it’s why I’m as sick as I am, and some of that sickness is irreversible. If nothing else, if you want to stay as active as you are now, I do not recommend that anyone push themselves so hard that they can no longer even do things that they enjoy on a regular basis, because they’re too physically debilitated to manage it, because they pushed their bodies too hard during the university years and just after. Because that is 100% why I became so sick in the first place.
And even extremely healthy people who have no history of chronic illness often develop something, in conjunction with years and years of working too hard or overcommitting. I’ve seen it happen to far too many of my friends, and you might feel like ‘just another six months’ or ‘just another three years’ but you’d be surprised how quickly you can go from ‘I’m doing it I’m doing it’ to ‘I keep getting migraines all the time doctor how do I fix this so I can go back to working as hard as I was before’ and your doctor being like ‘...yeah this isn’t curable. I’m going to give you some meds, that all come with horrible side effects, and you simply can’t do what you were doing before.’ Game over.
Trust me, that shit catches up with your body always. It might not be now, and I hope frankly it’s never, but overcommitment and workaholicism are the two fastest ways I know to chronic illness and once you get there, you can’t work your way out of it again.
Though god knows I have tried.
#asks and answers#personal#workaholicism#work addiction#like if you start stress grinding your teeth#for years#because you can't sleep well#because you're working too hard#trust me that will be over ten years of absolute misery and agony#as you crack your own teeth#because once you start stress grinding#you never stop#oh one final thing to keep in mind#you have been brainwashed by capitalist rhetoric#to believe that working is the greatest virtue out there#if you don't want to be a capitalist stooge for big business#unpacking overcommitment psychologically#even outside of impulse issues#can be pretty meaningful#but expect to need to do it more than once#because you will get that brainwashing all around you#for the rest of your life#(it's like body shaming sadly it's just everywhere)#some of my friends are going to read this advice and be like#WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT PIA#tons of sympathy anon it's hard as fuck#seriously anon if you don't want to spend your life with a fucked up body FOREVER#learn some crucial skills now#administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue#Anonymous
29 notes
·
View notes
Note
give me random hcs of whoever da fuc u want
foolish of you to say "whoever u want" and not expect this to b abt Sasha. anyway (putting this under a cut to spare everyone):
I thinkkkk they fidget a lot, but like. involuntarily, as in they are always moving in some way shape or form. either their leg is bouncing or their fingers are twitching or they're tapping out a rhythm on the closest surface or they're running a hand through their hair or they're playing w the hilt of one of their swords or th
they do NOT LIKE physical contact unless they are the one to initiate it OR it's coming from someone they trust completely (u already know who I think this person is for them). anytime one of her friends initiates physical contact w/o her expecting it, it always makes her jump a bit; if it's coming from anyone other than a friend then she will immediately get annoyed/uncomfortable/angry/WHATEVER
whenever they think rlly hard abt smth they bring their hand up to their face in that typical thinking pose but then they trace their thumb on their scar over and over and over and it's sorta just a habit that developed subconsciously. to anyone else it looks like they're literally plotting revenge but in reality they're doing it w/o being aware of it
we know that they skateboard so I think they're probably decent at it, they can't do anything crazy but one night they stayed up until like 4 am watching videos on how to do tricks and then spent the entirety of the next day obsessively learning how to ollie; as soon as they got it down they brought their skateboard to school all nonchalant and ollied onto the sidewalk like they'd known how to do it for years, and they're all smug on the outside but on the inside they're like YESyesyes FUCK yes I DID it. and they go to the skatepark to try to learn other tricks but they always have to make sure next to no one is around bc they don't want anybody to see them fuck up a trick as they learn it
I wanna say she's naturally musically talented but doesn't give a fuck abt learning the proper way to play music and blah blah blah. LIKE THIS IS EXTREMELY SELF-INDULGENT BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S PRACTICALLY CANON? they just. THEY KNOW HOW TO WRITE SONGS? Anne and Marcy are always like Sash where did you learn how to compose stuff and they're just like. bitch idk if it sounds good in my head I just make it happen. they've got a program on their computer where they put together melodies but they don't rlly show anyone else unless they're confident that it's a rlly fucking banger song
THIS BITCH HAS INSOMNIA. I do not CARE what anyone else says, they were kept behind bars and traumatized for so fucking long so if they didn't have insomnia before they definitely do now. if they had it before Amphibia they'd probably have just stayed up doing dumb shit like one night they just climb on the roof of their house and sit there for a while. and she's constantly coming into school LOOKING dead tired but not actually acting tired and Anne and Marcy are like Sasha wtf did u do this time u look like u've been hit by a car and Sash just goes oh haha u know. the usual.
going off that I think they probably learned how to swordfight by once again looking it up as much as they could at like 1 in the morning, and then they abruptly got out of bed and were like alright. climbed out of their bedroom window, went marching around for a stick or smth else they could use, and then just started DILIGENTLY swinging it around and whacking trees and lampposts until it's 5 am and they're like ah. can't wait to show Anne and Marcy this one when I have to get up for school in two hours. but it becomes a fixation for her and she keeps training herself w it for weeks and weeks, and when she gets transported to Amphibia and starts working w Grime, he perfects her technique a bit but is otherwise shocked at how much of a knack she has for it
they realize they're nonbinary after Marcy comes out to both them and Anne as nb, and they at first didn't know what it meant but didn't wanna say it out loud to avoid seeming stupid so they just. eventually pulled Anne to the side and was like hey what does. nonbinary mean. and Anne explains and Sash is like oh. huh. and they like the sound of the label and they THINK it fits them but they're unsure so for months they don't say anything. but during those months they sorta personally test the label out on themself and this mainly consists of them muttering "I'm nonbinary. I can do whatever the fuck I want" under their breath every time they do anything they are not supposed to b doing. AND THEN FINALLY THEY ACCIDENTALLY COME OUT TO ANNE AND MARCY WHILE THEY'RE IN AMPHIBIA.. probably sometime between The Dinner and Battle of the Bands where Anne is like "Sash you should probably stop walking around like you're gonna kill someone" and Sasha goes why are you restricting my right to look angry when I'm literally nonbinary. this is a hate crime. and Anne is like wait you're WHAT?
anyway I'm cutting myself off now before this gets more excessive than it already is but yeah. there u go
#had to go on my computer for this one. peace and love on planet earth#WHYYYYY did this character grab me by the throat so fucking fast#sasha waybright#amphibia#kiddoughbread#ask
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
ugh what you said about jon just helplessly missing deisha and despite being able to connect, still ultimately grieves alone forced me to think about this one book that said something like “grief is a room you enter alone” and I just ;_; something I love about your metas so much is that you rlly pick apart how it can be true that multiple things can be happening at once - he’s being understood, but he can’t be understood, he’s monstrous, but he’s human etc. basically I adore these essays and just reading how you build and present flaws in characters I think is genuinely making me a better writer
THANK YOU...I think we all grieve alone, just a little bit. With people, and maybe especially with more intangible things - when we move to another city or country, when we live alienated from our home cultures, when our bodies fail us, or when relationships fail. It’s inherently such a solitary thing.
And yeah, so often in life we’re feeling so many contradictory things!! Maybe even ALL THE TIME! I’ve loved and hated simultaneously, I’ve never wanted to see someone again and found myself constantly seeking out contact. You ever never want someone to text you, but you’re sad that they don’t text? I want to go back to my workplace but also I want to keep working from home forever. So it’s a real, legitimate feeling, I think.
But that’s also not why I write it that way. Stories inherently kind of have to work on both a literal and symbolic/metaphorical level. You said that you were interested in the writing bits, so I’ll get specific - I determine what happens in layers. Some things are the most essential aspects of the story, and everything else has to warp around that. Hope Etc is a very weird and bad example because a) I put no thought in this story and b) the nature of daemons is that they literalize the metaphorical. So basically every physical thing that Jon does is metaphorical for something.
So what a story is ‘about’ is the most important thing, and this can change and shift throughout the story as you realize what keeps cropping up time again and again (which is kind of oxymoronic). I use monster vs human a lot for this specific fandom, because monsters can have whatever metaphorical significance you fucking want them to, but other stories such as hope vs desolation, optimism vs pessimism, wanting to die vs choosing to live, etc, work too. The second thing is tone - which determines the message of the story dramatically. What a story is ‘about’ can’t be pessimism when you have a light-hearted and comedic tone. Unless you’re getting REALLY creative. You can add a lot of additional themes to that, but a bunch of themes together make is what something is about. Also very important is that for me what something is ‘about’ includes genre.
Then what’s kind of wrapped around that is the metaphor. Literal things happen, which have metaphorical meaning, which advance what a story is ‘about’. Not everything that happens is metaphorical - sometimes things have to happen to advance the plot - but things that happen need to advance something. Either plot, or a character arc, or they need to have metaphorical significance. In my opinion the most deft writing is when everything that happens has all three.
I think over metaphor is character arc and character. When something happens in a story it has to advance the plot and advance the character’s arc. The character’s arc forms a trajectory that spells out the theme. A character arc for me frequently means the relationship between two characters, which often really really work to highlight theme. I think people push each other to change and grow a lot. If it’s a romantic relationship I push that ‘growth instigated by the other’ hard. Also, foils. I think the best romantic relationships are foils. I love foils. I always write foils. Just adore them, they’re so easy to write. Just make someone the opposite of someone else but give them the same theme. It’s great. This is also why I’m always saying that I don’t really sit down and ‘make characters’, characters just happen based on what needs to happen. I don’t decide anything about a character when I start out besides “haha exact opposite of canon character” or “haha amnesiac PI” or “haha roleswap”. And that’s coming from someone who rarely uses canon characterizations and who writes everybody as a thinly veiled OC...and maybe that’s why everybody kind of ends up a thinly veiled OC...
Over that is plot. Plot is what has to happen to make all of these other things happen. I can’t plot. I think I can’t plot because I’m too worried about these other things and I forget ‘oh yeah, Things Have To Happen’. Maybe there’s other people who plot first and then figure out these other things based on what happens in the plot? ....why...
So I kind of made that a gumball, layered thing, because that’s how I build the story. And I shouldn’t have, because these things all feed each other. What a story is ‘about’ is highly dictated by what you’ve decided the character arc to be - highly - and it creates a feedback loop as both of these things get changed and twisted and tangled during writing. A story never ends how I intended, because different things crop up. But there is a ‘priority list’ for me, and that’s kind of the layers - these characters have to act in X way because that’s one of the cornerstones I need to hit for the genre, so I have to have their character arcs match this. Characters can’t act in a certain way just because the plot makes them - granted, sometimes they do, but that means that you have to go back and tweak their character arc to match. You cannot have something metaphorically happen that goes completely against the theme, unless that has repercussions. Plot isn’t the story for me, the about is the story. None of this is hard and fast, and there is nothing that you can’t do, you just really have to view all of these things in a complex interplay that constantly affect each other.
I think of it like gears? They all work together and churn together to make the story work. But if you twist one gear, the others move too. You first imagine it this one way, but then you keep on tweaking and tweaking and tweaking, and then everything else has to change too, so then you’re like why did I even bother to outline, outlining is stupid, and also I have this funny joke so I have to go back and change everything, and...
Wow, maybe that’s why I’m so bad at planning shit..
My...goal? Is to make it so that Everything works on every level. You should be able to read a story completely literally and completely miss the metaphorical meaning and still vibe. But unfortunately the way it turns out for me sometimes is that the symbolism outweighs the literal. When I write absurdist/surrealist stuff it’s just me being lazy and not having to have things be literal, lol. What you get when something only works on a symbolic level and not on a literal level at all is Utena. And I’m writing trashy fanfic so I can’t do that. What normally happens in practice is that things happen literally for a bit, and then I’m like ‘oh I’m Sensing a Theme’ and then I start playing into the theme, and then things happen because it’s thematic. Plot is...plot should be more important to me...
And then of course there’s grounding all of this in human emotion and making sure there’s a climax (me, shaking hope etc: THERE’S NO FUCKING CLIMAX), and dealing with all of that stuff that makes it actually emotional and impactful instead of just abstract and dumb.
I chose not to use examples for all of that because I wanted it to just be broad writing advice? I can kind of point out there examples of that line of thinking in my writing, and I probably can for Hope, Etc, but it would be a bad example - both because the NATURE of that story is that the literal is INHERENTLY a metaphor so you really cannot view anything in that story as literal, nothing in it is literal - also because I put no thought into it.
Of course that’s not my process. That’s not my process at all. I don’t sit down and figure this shit out. I didn’t read any of that anywhere, it’s just me bullshitting, that entire thing was just me bullshitting relentlessly I am so fucking sorry. My process is that I joke about ideas with friends, I sit down at a computer and I kind of thump a keyboard for a few hours, I live my life and daydream stuff and kinda make little movies in my heads, I go home and slam the keyboard some more, halfway through I walk up to my beta and go “hey what’s the plot of this?” she helps me figure it out by giving me very bad ideas, I kind of slam my keyboard some more, and then it’s done. And then I kinda edit it a little maybe whatever and then I post it.
There’s not a lot of thought involved. I really can’t stress enough how I don’t think about all of this when I write. I’m really brain empty. When I do these analyses what I’m doing is that I’m looking back over my story and then I’m like...Oh That’s What I Was Doing! Huh! Neat!
Haha that got long. I’m not a good writer. Thanks for the ask!
#NOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A LONG POST#i didn't evoke my writing specifically because halfway thru I decided to make this a broad writing advice post#since...idk u said that its valuable so i wanted to help?#my writing#writing advice#writing#on writing#oh god why am I tagging it that then people will think its writing advice#im crying i can't emphasize enough how much im bullshitting here
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Than,, thank you?? So much for the match up?? It warms my heart bby ;-;
Anyhow, here’s my description!!
She/her, Taurus, INTJ, slytherin
Personality: the first thing people notice about me is that I am less of a feeler and more of a thinker. I do have an IQ of 125, but my emotional intelligence is quite low, so I have trouble sympathizing with others. But I learned through experience, so I don’t SEEM emotionless. I can (and will) help my friends through tough times if they need me. I’m pragmatic, so I always go for the facts instead of the feelings during decision making or tough situations. I hold a lot of perfectionist traits that make it really hard for me to be satisfied with my results if they aren’t higher than the norm. I also have a slight issue with saying no, so sometimes I’ll offer my help or enrol myself in long-term projects while knowing I legit do not have time for more stuff on my schedule. Being a bit smarter than average, I sometimes feel like I’m obligated to help others so that they can do good too (however, I do like helping people with their hw to a certain extent). I’m working on those issues though!! I’m also an introvert, and I can get rlly tired if I have to be interacting for more than four hours straight with people, especially if their persona isn’t rlly compatible with mine.
However, when I’m surrounded by friends (or generally people who aren’t my superiors), I’m very energetic, loud, silly and I have a sharp tongue. My sense of humour goes from absolute nonsense to almost mean spirited sarcasm, but it all depends on who I’m talking to. I’m a MAJOR memer, I have a bunch of files filled with them, and I couldn’t bear be with people who didn’t understand my meme references. When I start liking something, I can get easily obsessed. I’m stubborn, therefore very passionate about the things I care about. I also have a slight case of the Endorphin Junkie, meaning that I really, really like the high you get after sports so I do crossfit training like five to six times a week. I’m unapologetically myself, and I will not ever change who I am to fit within the norm. I’m sometimes told that (that I’m odd, I mean), but I usually thank the people who tell me. I have a really, really big love for music and I have a tendency to break into song sometimes when people say a line from a song I know.
Appearance: I’m around 5’6”, with hazel eyes and brown hair that goes around to my shoulders. It gets curly out of nowhere. I can either wake up with straight hair or wake up with a freakin perm, it’s funny. My body isn’t exactly the lean type, I’m somewhere around the buff area of the scale instead, but as long as I seem visibly strong, I’m satisfied. When I’m not going anywhere significant, I usually just wear sport shirts and sweats, but I have a penchant for Dark Academia so I like /looking/ like I’m smart sometimes. And I have glasses bc apparently my eyes are assholes and they work too hard and it hurts my brain all the time
Likes: music (DavidBowieDavidBowieDavidBow-); I have a really wide range of music that goes from early 2000’s pop to 1700’s requiems. I enjoy studying theoretical fields, reading, and I like talking about Absurd Theories About Reality That Make Little To No Sense. I like sports, and I love joking around with friends in the most exaggerated ways. I also love the colour green and I’m more of a cat person
Dislikes: dogs (they’re cute but keep them away pls), ignorant people, irresponsible people, spiders, things I’m not good at from the beginning, having to deal with strangers being upset, crying (me. I don’t like crying; I mean me, I’m fine if my friends cry)
Other fun facts!!
- my goals for the future are all over the place; I want to work for Disney, I want to get a musical composition degree, I want a biomedical engineering bachelors degree, I want an astrophysics doctorate, I want to study languages, I want to be a foreign English teacher... I can’t ever decide.
- I have a long history with getting crushes on guys who turned out to be gay. It happens so often and I HATE IT, it makes me feel terrible.
- I!!love!!70’s!!music!!so!!much!! I was raised on that stuff, my dad wouldn’t let us listen to anything else
- Lol my favourite playlist name is Drugs Playlist But I Don’t Even Do Drugs it’s just a bunch of Pink Floyd and David Bowie songs
- My favourite movies are 80’s or 90’s comedy classics!! Like Wayne’s World, or Airplane!, or Night at the Roxbury. I keep quoting Wayne’s World and no one understands :(
Lol it’s very long I Apologize
↬ ──:.⃗➹ +.*༉‧ᵕ̈°`*↷. ೃ₊✎⸙͎˚- ̗̀✧: ──↫
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ⊹
┊ ⋆｡ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆｡˚. ੈ
┊ ┊ ⋆｡ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩
┊ ┊ ┊ ✫
┊ ┊ ☪︎⋆ ⋆✩
┊ ⊹ ┊ ⋆｡˚. ੈ
✯ ⋆ ┊ . ˚ ⊹
˚ ✩
Dream catcher loading...
ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ
□□□□□0%
■□□□□20%
■■□□□40%
■■■□□60%
■■■■□80%
■■■■□90%
■■■■■100%
*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.°
┊┊┊┊
┊┊┊☆
┊┊☁️
┊┊┊
┊┊
┊☆
┊┊
☁️
┊
☁️
Hello and Welcome my Starlight!
The Haven box includes:
- Match up
- Sun drop
- Dreamscape
- Study date
───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───
I'd match you up with
Kuroo Tetsuro, The captain of Nekoma
───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───
Sun drops
The reasons why I paired you
-Honestly it took me a while to think on who you would match with (You just remind me so much if my best friend that I ship with Yams-)
- I had Sugawara or Kunumi in mind but I decided that Kuroo would be a perfect match! (THAT HEIGHT DIFFERENCE THO)
- Kuroo is a very smart man and he's also very observant.
- So you might lack in the expressing emotions, Kuro's got you (He'll buy those flip plishies to know your mood or smth like that)
- And though Kuroo is the outgoing type, he will definitely respect your boundaries
- I mean Kenma is a major introvert so Kuroo will know what to do
- Not only that! Kuroo has this sense of protectiveness and motherly vibes (Canon Kuroo that is-). So he will definitely take care of you
- He has his iconic hyena laugh, Meme exchange is a must! And you both would often have laughing fits.
- Did I mention that he'll take care of you?
- He absolutely and I mean absolutely adores your passion for music like yes
-He loves your style and the two of you would often have matching couple outfits.
───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───
Dreamscape
(A surprise drabble!)
"Out of everyone, YOU GOT A GIRL FIRST?!?" Yaku yelled as his eye twitched. "Got that right, Yakkun," Kuroo then said with a smirk. "And you are still as single as ever, docosahexaenoic acid. Still chasing after the same girl, huh?" He added as he patted the shorter male's shoulders. "And so what?!?" Yaku yelled back. "And the Demon-senpai strikes again," Kuroo stated as he backed away. "Kuroo-senpai! Can you tell us about her?" Lev asked enthusiastically. "You seem enthusiastic," Kenma said. Then Lev restarted back and it became a one sided argument.
Soon enough, the drama died down and Kuroo started to talk about his one and only. "She's amazing~" He started. "She's a bit odd but I love her nonetheless. She kinda reminds me of Kenma and Bokuto in a way. She loves music and would often send me some songs to listen," And that was the start of a half hour rant of his girlfriend. Right then and there, Lev regretted his decision.
───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───
Study date
Kuroo and his Oxytocin (lover), were having a small study date. They were in Kuroo's house and were enjoying their little date time before they study. The Mario team song was playing as the two were racing. "YES! I'M WINNING!" His lover yelled as she was in front of him. "Not for long~" Kuroo stated as his focused was on the screen. As time passes and the gap widens, Kuroo turned to his plan B. He then looked at his Oxytocin and kissed her out of nowhere. The girl immediately responded to the kiss and stopped pressing the buttons. Soon enough, Kuroo passed the girl with ease and won. His lover looked at him with a betrayed look and then scowled. "You cheat!" Hse said as she pointed a finger to him.
"C'mon my Oxytocin~ I didn't cheat in Mario carts!" Kuroo declared as he gazed at his lover. "Didn't cheat?!? Didn't cheat?!? YOU KISSED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME!" She yelled as she hit his shoulders gently. "And? We didn't lay any ground rules so what's the point?" Kuroo then stated. The girl huffed and played the controller down. "Should we start studying?" She asked as she picked up a book. The book was a chemistry book taht wasn't even for their curriculum. It was just an extra book to fulfill Kuroo's love for chemistry. She placed it down and picked up her book instead. "We still have a bit of time," Kuroo started as he patted on his bed. He then stood up and gazed at the book she took. And English book to be exact, he took the book and placed it down. "Let's cuddle for a while," He added as he pulled you to his bed and cuddled you.
"And I wonder if your team mates know how much of a cuddle monster you are?" She said as she chuckled. Kuroo placed his arms around her body and nuzzled his head on her hair. "Yes, of course. I won't shut up about you," he added as he pulled you closer. "So are we studying or not?" She then said as she kissed his cheek.
───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───
Author's note
Thanks for complying with my request! I hope it wasn't much of a bother. 👉👈
I had fun writing this! I hope you enjoy this one~
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
personal, mostly neg
i know we’re all just humans doing things at our own pace and it’s stupid and meaningless to compare yrself to others esp if theres a skewed image re: u only seeing yr own negatives and others only bringing up their positives in casual day to day conversation BUT ngl! sometimes i do feel extremely intimidated w my peers bc they’re incredible and ridiculously cool ppl whom i love who are also objectively rlly trailblazing and reaching huge milestones w relationships, careers, housing, personal development etc etc and then i just look at my own lack of progress in life and absolutely fucking hate myself fr being so disappointing and feelin like a waste of space, time and money and a burden on others just fr continuing to be alive without achieving set expectations. on the rare good day i can at least think well shit bitch no worries you can do self affirming and worthwile meaningful shit as well! you dont have to feel inferior or left behind you too can do things! lets turn shit around what do you want to do? whatd make you happy? except then it’s like i dont.. know....... >:///
like i dont have the energy or personal like strength to do much (previously re: (mental) health shit but especially in These Times lol fuck) but even if i did!! i still wouldnt know what to do w that baisc level of vitality & self belief some ppl seem to have bc i still have no motivation fr an achievable direction id feel inspired to go in except str8 into the grave thanks. so even trying to go through any considerable options re: what the Fuck i should do in the long run only gets me further down most of the time bc it’s a big realisation of like oh shit it rlly still b like that huh? im just so fucking tired of my own shit.
anyway i did stab myself a gay little earring today so at least theres that
#just the one#tfw youve seen rocketman (2019) a good few times and yr like im gay anxious depressed and in a pandemic but..#rn i have a /fresh/ diamond stud which by the time the holidays hit i'll b able to swap out fr a nice dangly boy so uh. that's something??#going frm cutting/dyeing my own hair to piercing my lobe.. catch me in another 2 yrs doing my own stick n pokes w a busted ballpoint thanks#please clap. except dont? bc it's pretty pathetic when youve got friends who are doing All That and havin a /great/ time living their lives
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
mtmte liveblog issue 14
oh boy Here We Go, its time to die
ngl I've been putting this off bc I'm not ready to be destroyed hhhhhh
oh god. overlords giant fuckgin face on the cover. I regret everything
ohhh some good ole functionist flashbacks
is this momus the same guy as senator momus from the shadowplay stuff? lemme say...class traitor
and then some garrus 9 flashbacks, ft chromedome’s snarky interjections. my man you are Not gonna be on the ups much longer oh lord
this is reminding me that I really do need to read the wreckers stuff
chromedome, stop posing jauntily, I'm trying to prepare myself for emotional devastation and you aren't helping
cd bringin that emo theater kid energy
and here's megatron! well, flashback megatron, but still
megatrons head looks so fuckin weird there
love the thematic (and extremely plot relevant) use of ‘til all are one’ here
WHY is megatrons bucket helmet removable. I hate it
also overlord is so big gay for megatron its unbelievable
the name ‘heretech’ is A Lot lmao. right up there w/rigor morphis in the puns category
cd hhhhh this is why you don't talk to your captives in this sort of situation...even to make snappy comebacks, but especially not to TELL HIM YOUR PLAN....now overlords all worked up over megs being alive and yall are screwed
ah, some good old weird birth/re-birth vibes going on here, classic jro
like he literally tells megatron ‘congratulations...its a superwarrior’ god hvbdkhjfbjsf what is it w/jro and pregnancy/birth/reproduction themes
but also like I Kinda Get It bc that IS a pretty intriguing thing to explore w/an alien species like the transformers, who are living machines...ok ill strap on my biologist boots later and get into that when its more relevant lmao
cd is breathtakingly un-genre savvy here. my man you should have never gotten involved in this oof
overlords weird ab guns are weird
uh no! now overlord is in the drivers seat, and smiling unsettlingly with his creepy lips
its brainstorm!!! I love him
SOUNDWAVE I love soundwave sm he’s just the coolest and best
is that trepan that overlord grabbed? I'm assuming it must be but I have a terrible memory for these things so I don't really remember what he looks like lmao
IS THAT PHARMA
also damn cd rlly b out here committing war crimes/crimes against humanity (crimes against cybertronians? that phrase doesn't really carry over well). the fact that the secret government lobotomy & brainwashing labs populated the ‘good guys’ side is....hhhhhhwow
cant believe cd’s real name is tumblr
also I love the misdirection from cd not disclosing his ‘real’ name, which leads the reader to think that he’s secretly a different established/important character...but nope!
ahhhh and the reversal of cd and overlords positions in-panel so we can tell that Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong even before we zoom out to see cd in the chair instead of overlord...nice
love how prowl & co made up the whole ‘whiteout vacuum’ thing to lie to the people about overlord...yall really do be breaking moral laws left and right huh
the continuing hilarity of prowl referring to rewind as chromedomes ‘friend’ despite knowing full well they're married...and now that it’s been revealed in-story that they’re married, its just str8 up funny instead of funny AND meta
is tarn a phase sixer???? genuinely I don't remember lmao
I feel like I could write an essay abt how interesting it is that prowl is so insistent on figuring out the whole phase sixer puzzle and making autobot phase sixers, despite the war being over (and with the autobots having won it, too). like, that's yet another fascinating psychological reaction to the never-ending civil war ending
and the way that prowl is able to rope multiple people into this scheme, which shows that he’s not the only one who thinks that way
aw, bumblebee still has a few morals, unlike most of the rest of anyone. too bad it certainty didn't help anyone in the case of repairing overlord
like, cd is RIGHT, they don't need their own phase sixers - and especially cause like...they won against the cons without any phase sixers already, so whos to say they cant win again the same way? smh prowl
god I love the exchange here....prowl subtly threatening chromedome, while also calling cd his friend and probably meaning it genuinely, and chromedome looming menacingly over prowl then pinning him down and messing with his head...ooooof.
also that panel of cd shadowplaying prowl and prowls face is just super blank...sinister as hell, i love it
also also, I'm actually really glad that that plot thread of ‘cd was complicit in what happened to dominus and rewind doesn't know’ didn't end up happening
I also find it a little funny that this very intriguing scene didn't end up going anywhere in mtmte, but from what I've heard the whole ‘cd rearranged prowl’s brains’ thing had big consequences for prowl in exrid or w/e, which is interesting
brainstorm wearing a version of perceptors targeting reticle eye thing...hello....
also I like the fact that they subtly establish when this is taking place by showing brainstorm working on the humansonas, which means this was before the last issue
drift brainstorm chromedome shaking hands meme: making stupid decisions bc they listening to prowl for some reason
drift, this is Not the way you should be going about showing your dedication to the autobot cause
brainstorm is on a totally different wavelength than cd and drift hvbfdskhfdskjf brainstorm is just here to have a good time and maybe cause some chaos
the tablet saying ‘project: end in tears’ TOO REAL the tears are from ME. AUGH
hhhhhhhhhh the fact that cd did all of this bc he wanted to protect rewind from the war maybe restarting....ouch :( love makes you do stupid things sometimes
I cant get over how h*rny overlord looks...like I cant even describe it, its not necessarily that overlord himself is h*rny, or even that he’s drawn h*rny in the sense that he’s sexy or provocative...he just has those Vibes. this makes no sense except in my head ok
overlord escaped....no way! who could've seen that coming! probably anyone with a brain who isn't blinded by trauma and/or a misplaced sense of duty/love....Ls
AND HERE’S OVERLORD, READY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP. GODDD
never over the panel of overlord grinning maniacally and cracking his knuckles with the text ‘next: massacre!’ cheerily overlaid
GODDD this issue god....I mean we haven't gotten to the soul-destroying parts yet but this stuff is so intriguing...the nuance is THERE! and this is basically what we’ve been building up to for all of mtmte so far, and Oh Boy is it gonna be a big one, you can just tell....
1 note
·
View note
Text
The Red String of Fate
The Red String of Fate links two soulmates together signifying that they are made for each other. This certain string can appear when you are born or when you and your soulmate finally meet. Though this string can be broken, whether because of arguments, long distance, any of the two meeting someone else they like, taking the two too long to meet, or when intentionally cut. If the string was accidentally cut, it would come back. But the string can be fixed if and only if one of the soulmates has enough energy or power to revive it.
warning: curse words, boy x boy
pairing: IwaOi ( Iwaizumi x Oikawa )
anime: Haikyuu!!
this is my first fanfic so I apologize for any grammar errors. it may also seem rushed and might not be pleasant to read and I also apologize for that. even if english is my second language, my vocab isn't as good as other writers
- - s n a p - - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . !!
That sound. The sound that sounds so painful yet so relieving. The sound that I can't decide whether if I like it or not. The sound that just might decide things for me. The sound that would me you feel ill and 'empty'. I t h u r t s b a d l y .
Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!
Crap. What time is it?
"Hajime! Are you awake yet? Get ready for school already. At this rate you'll be late for the first period. Tooru's waiting for you outside."
Oh. Shit. I overslept again. And how the fuck is that Shittykawa waiting for me? Most of the time he's the one who's late. Too late for that then.
I quickly got dressed and went downstairs. I didn't even bother eating breakfast. I dashed out of the door just to be greeted by Oikawa.
"Why isn't this a surprise, Iwa-chan! For the first time I'm the one waiting for you."
"Haha very funny Crappykawa"
"Can't you call me anything else other than Crappykawa?"
"So which do you prefer? Shittykawa or Trashykawa?"
"E-eh?? I'd go for Crappykawa then!" Oikawa pouted afterwards.
We both rushed to school and barely made it just in time. Teacher got mad at us though for arriving last minute.
Oikawa Tooru. He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, although to this day I'm still wondering why I even agreed to being with him. It was more like a forced friendship because we were the only kids in the neighborhood of the same age. He's also the reason I got into volleyball. Well, sort of. He kinda forced me into learning how to play just so someone can spike his tosses. Actually, eversince he came, something's been going on with my life differently.
10 years ago, there was this family that has just moved in into our neighborhood. I was 7 or 8 at the time. Mom called me to come downstairs to greet the new people. When we opened the door, it revealed a tall woman with shoulder length brown hair with dark brown eyes. Beside her was a kid a few centimeters taller than me with brown hair and an ahoge, and seemed to he right at my age. After our greetings, mom invited them inside and in just a few seconds, this random kid was in my room.
"Uh... Tooru, do you want to do or play anything?"
He didn't answer, but he did go out and returned with a volleyball in his hands. He tugged my shoulder sleeve and took me outside. And then I just found myself playing with a kid I just met, although I didn't know how, but he did teach me.
When the sun came down, they said that they were going home.
"Bye Iwa-chan! See you tomorrow"
"Bye Tooru."
Just as he said, the next day we found ourselves playing with each other again. This has been going on for awhile now.
On a normal day, I woke up with a red string tied unto my pinky.
"W-why i-is there a r-red string tied unto m-me??" In panic, I fell down my bed. I debated in my head on whether mom should know about this or not, and came to the conclusion that I would tell her if she noticed. While eating breakfast, even if I tried giving her hints and putting my hand in the most open and obvious spot, she didn't seem to notice at all. Was this just my imagination? Maybe it doesn't actually exist.
I tried my best to just ignore it and just enjoy the rest of the day (Even if having this stupid red string tied unto me. And the fact that it's even going through the walls! Holy crap that's frikin weird.)
I stepped outside to play with Tooru again. Maybe if mom couldn't see it, maybe he can't too. Or should I confirm it with him and ask? Is this string even real? Is it even solid? Why does it look like it's just floating through air? Why is it-
"Iwa-chan! Do you want to play again?"
Why. Why is the damn string attached to him, to the same finger as mine. Why is it connecting the two of us. Should I just ignore it?
"Yeah sure"
I guess I decided to ignore it.
Ever since this string appeared, we seemed closer than usual. There are even times that I forgot it existed. Every time I woke up, it would just be there. It looks like it doesn't have a specific or permanent length, in fact whenever me and Tooru separate, it just extends.
So I decided that I'd cut it. I mean.. what's the harm?
- - s n i p - - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ! !
"*cough* *c-cough*...!!! I-I c-can't b-breathe...!! M-mom! H-help m-me..!!"
.
.
.
.
.
Bzzzt Bzzzt Bzzzt!!!
H-huh? Why am I on the floor? Did I fall asleep here? I don't remember much from last night... What happened??
I took a glance at my hand. Oh. It's gone.
Honestly though. I don't know if I feel relieved or... something else. My chest feels heavy, actually. Maybe if I go out and play with Tooru I'd feel better-
"Sorry. Tooru's not feeling well today. Just this morning when he woke up, he was sobbing and refused to tell me the reason. I'm sorry Hajime-kun. Maybe tomorrow."
What. Why? Does this have something to do with the string? Ah, don't be stupid Hajime, he probably felt ill. That's all.
I hope so.
When that string appeared, it reminded me of my friendship with Tooru. When we finally started playing as actual friends, that string appeared. It almost felt like a reminder or sign of our connection. Geez Hajime, when did you become so cheesy. Haha yeah I know. And when I cut that string, it felt like I cut my ties with him or in other words, broke away.
That's probably just my imagination though. I really have to stop overthinking things. Despite my arrogance and cold attitude, I do sometimes think about this thoroughly, even if it sounds cheesy and cliche.
.
.
.
"Hey Iwa-chan. Sorry I haven't gotten to play with you for a week. I know it was sudden, but I actually got a high fever, although before that I didn't even feel ill. But I'm okay now! We can finally play agai-! ... Iwa-chan?"
Oh. I didn't even notice that he was talking to me, or even that he was ok now. Eversince he got sick, I've been spacing out more frequently and felt really lonely.
"Ah. Sorry 'bout that Tooru. I'm fine. Are you sure you're not ill anymore? If not, sure let's play some volleyball."
We did. When he got better, even I felt better.
And just when I thought things were finally going to go smoothly...
Ah. It appeared again. The stupid red string. And without a doubt it's tied unto Tooru too. Sigh. What am I gonna do about this...
.
.
.
.
.
"Toor- I mean Oikawa. Can you set to me some of your tosses? I want to practice spiking."
From the benches, I could hear Matsukawa and Hanamaki snickering about how I almost called Shittykawa by his first name.
...
Up to this day this string is still tied unto our hands, mine and Oikawa's. Up until now, I've been constantly cutting that string, but it's not like I cut it because we had arguments or misunderstandings, it's just really... uncomfortable. And the fact that only we can see it, or perhaps, only I can. Oikawa's been spending more time in my house nowadays. We've been getting closer during these years of growing up together. Still, I wonder what this string means. Every time I cut it, after me and Oikawa hangout again, it just comes back. Freaky honestly.
.
.
"Alright everyone!! Practice is over! Go home already, it's getting late. Don't forget that next week we have a practice match, ok?"
We all separate ways, and me and Oikawa walk home together.
"Goodnight Iwa-chan. See you tomorrow."
"Yeah. See you too."
. . .
Huhhhhhhhhhh. Oikawa just texted me.
"Hey Iwa-chan, some fangirl asked me to go out with her. You think I should??" Sent 8:52 PM
Huh...? Why did he ask me? And why do I feel like I got rejected...? Seriously, whenever he gets requests or confessions he always asks me first. It's not like I control him.. But honestly a part of me wants him to not go..
I wonder why...
"Idk. Do u even like her?" Sent 8:54 PM
"Mmm. Not rlly...." Sent 8:54 PM
"Then don't. Bye." Sent 8:55 PM
"Eh? Are you mad? Iwa-chan???" Sent 8:55 PM
"Iwa-chan??"
"IwA-cHan??"
I ignored him. He should just do what he wants.
.
.
.
Fuckkk. Why alarm clock's been ringing for 20 minutes already. It's past 7 AM already. First period starts at 7. Why am I still here..? Is it because I didn't want to see Oikawa hangout with that girl? Haha don't be silly Hajime. I just didn't feel like going.
.
.
.
Hmmm..? It's 5PM already? Fuck how long have I been here? Was I just staring into nothing. I'm hungry. I went down and ate. Then went back to my room.
I stopped. The scissors. The scissors I use to cut the string.. should I?
I grabbed the scissors then-
.
.
"IWA-CHAN!!! WHY didn't you go to school today??? Are you ill? I brought you your homewo-"
I stopped. When did he get here? Did my mom literally just let him in without letting me know? Well, this is just fucking awkward. I'm standing, a bit bent down, holding a pair of scissors against this red string that I don't know if he could see. Up 'till now, I don't know if he could see the string, nd I've been carelessly cutting it.
He dropped everything.
"I-iwa-c-chan... w-why...?? So you've b-been cutting t-he string? It was y-you?..."
Oikawa started sobbing and dropped to the floor. I dropped the scissors, causing a loud thud on the floor, and rushed to him.
"What do you mean? You could see it this entire time? Why didn't you tell me?
"Why have you been CUTTING IT?"
Fuck. I've never heard Oikawa raise his voice. Ever. His voice overlapped his sobs.
"Do y-you not want to be with me? I rejected the girl b-because..."
His voice softened. It got softer right after he shouted.
"W-what? What do you mean? Of course I-I d-do.."
I looked away, hiding my embarrassment.
"Then why have you been cutting it?"
I didn't even notice that we've been on the floor this entire time. His face I held on my chest, my shirt's wet from his tears. After his question, I was dead silent. It's true. Why did I cut the string?
"Iwa-chan, do you not even know what the string means?"
Oikawa muttered softly, his voice being overlapped by the broken sobs echoing in the room.
"Ah... No."
Right after I answered, Oikawa's hands gripped the back part of my shirt tighter. His sobbing got quieter, his face still buried on my chest.
"Iwa... It meant that we were soulmates. The red string signifies that we were meant to stay together, to be there for each other. Eversince I moved into this neighborhood, I had a strong feeling when I first saw you. And I was right. The string appeared after we settled with eachother."
"I... I didn't know that..... Tooru im-!"
"I like you Hajime... I always have... but honestly I never thought about how I could tell you... I was scared that you'd reject me and find it weird that a guy likes a guy..."
He looked down, gripping tighter unto my back.
How could I have been so stupid. I've been cutting that string without a reason, and worst, I never even told him. If I had told him sooner, maybe I could've at least prevented hurting him...
"Hajime...I like you... I love you..."
"Tooru I-"
He gripped my shirt tighther, burying his face deeper unto my chest. He breathed softly, and I could hear his heart beats thumping fast.
"Hajime..."
Oikawa jolted as i wrapped one arm around him and pulled his body closer to mine.
I'm sure he got my answer.
.
.
.
.
.
"EH?? Are you serious, Iwaizumi-san???!!!"
"IWAIZUMI SENPAIIII!!!"
"Why tho"
I held Shittykawa's hand tighter.
"Haha... yeah. We are."
A
Im sososososo sorry this looks sooo bad. I tried to make it as good as I can and literally failed lmao. If you have request, u can ask away <3333
-♤
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
the rwby rewatch continues!!!!!!!! now with the first 6 eps of volume 1
ok like when characters use the recoil of their weapons firing as momentum for maneuvering.....PEAK
as much as i hate to admit it. torchwick’s VA is doing a pretty good job i think
OOH DANG start of the second ep, i forgot how they used to shorten the openings!!! honestly it kinda slaps, though maybe it’s just that the first op is That Good
i am literally unable to look at Yang without thinking “wife” on repeat
hhhhh oh GOD i wish i could permanently forget about the part in episode 2 where ruby turns into a chibi and it’s SUPER awkward and out of place
ok literally WHERE did ruby’s passion for weapons go!!!!!!! i love that trait of hers but i feel like it got forgotten after volume 1 :(
weiss calm down challenge
AHH BLAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE...
honestly i can’t decide if i love weiss or strongly dislike her lmao
HHGKFSGDH RUBY CALLED HER ‘PRINCESS’ I’M DYING
LMAOOO BLAKE RLLY CAME FOR WEISS LIKE THAT HUH. GOD I LOVE HER
ruby just lying on the fucking ground....same bro, it b like that sometimes
OH SHIT ITS WHITE BITCHBOY.... at least she roasts him immediately
good lord i hate early-rwby jaune
IT’S ALSO A GUN.... ILY
ok their banter at the end of the ep was cute... tbh i LOVE ruby and jaune’s friendship, it’s very good
(sees yang) AGHH SHE!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
“where am i supposed to find another nice, quirky girl to talk to?” jaune i Will beat you to death myself
AHHHHHHHH PYRRHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SOBBING
i love yang so Fucking MUCh
“OH GOD ITS HAPPENING AGAIN” IM GONNA DIE THATWAS SO FUNNY
“oh my god you really exploded.” HER DELIVERY WAS SO GOOD... YANG ILY
HGKDJSGHDH WEISS W/ THE DISCLAIMERS IM DYING. ILY WEISS
love how weiss turned down ruby and yet still stuck near her for the opening speech thing... girl i see u. ALSO nice jaune roast, i am content (for now...)
yang and ruby commenting on oz’s weirdness... i wonder what that’s all about
also i fucking love how oz is like “you all came here to be huntsmen and huntresses? well y’know what, i look at you guys and all i see are losers. goodbye.”
HHHH JAUNE FUCK OFF I HATE YOU. DIE.
yang don’t pretend to be into dudes u are a lesbian..god bless
ruby’s lil grimm sleep mask...ough...so cute....
and then there’s jaune’s fuckin onesie fgjdhsdjjkfsdh i hate him.
wait ruby had friends at signal??? we ever gonna come back to that or...?
another jaune roast!! yang ily
i fucking LOVE the idea that blake brought that candelabra herself so she could read her book with it mysteriously in a corner
yang’s face when she first sees blake i’m hhgjdkhsf she’s a whole lesbian y’all
hhfjdskfh yang..attractive....not 2 sound like a literal anime fucker on main but
YANG’S AWFUL FLIRTING I’M GONNA DIEEE I LOVE HER!!!!!!!
yang rlly b like “aight she’s not responding to my flirting let’s bounce”
MAN WITH TWO SOULS AUUUHGHHH
OOH HAIR DOWN WEISS
“OH NOT YOU AGAIN” HHFJKDJFSH
AH!!!!!!!!! NORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok time to be sad for a sec: do u think ren and nora slept in their day clothes because they don’t have pajamas on account of being poor orphans. i mean crwby probably just didn’t want to go to the trouble of making them character models that they’d use for all of ten seconds but still....STILL.........
nora wants to bribe OZ im hhfjdkhsjfdh
“i drink milk” BABY GIRL ILY
UGH yang is such a good sister let’s just take a moment to remember that
weiss b like hey what if i had a crush on pyrrha... haha jk... unless...?
nah but forreal i think weiss lowkey had a crush on pyrrha before coming to beacon but she didn’t know how to express it in like a normal way, so she just compliments pyrrha and asks her if she’d like to be her partner for the next four years... love that!
weiss: we’ll be popular!! we’ll get perfect grades!!! we’ll be inseparable!!!! we’ll trust each other implicitly and hold hands and go out and spend all of our time together and wait what-
HHHH JAUNE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF
JAUNE RLLY JUST CALLED PYRRHA “HOT STUFF” I’M GONNA PERISH ON THE SPOT.
pyrrha so Focking tall... also i am in love with her and she deserves better than jaune.
oh boy i’m gonna get REAL tired of typing those exact words aren’t i
PYRRHA PINNING JAUNE WITH HER JAVELIN WHEN HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO WEISS AND MADE HER UNCOMFORTABLE UM PLEASE DO THAT ALL THE TIME. GOD I LOVE HER
ooohh pyrrha used her semblance to call back her javelin there... that’s so dope
jaune and ruby friendship Good... also it just occurred to me that he probably never hits on her cause she’s younger than him by like two years?? which is good and stuff
oh ew cardin, i forgot he exists
oz b like “destroy everything in your path or you Will die” and nora’s just like :D
HAHA get fucked jaune
LANDING STRATEGY
YANG’S SUNGLASSES AHHHH WIFE
“BIRDIE NO!!!” I’M GONNA CHOKE
love the landing strats, esp yang (“nailed it!”), and also pyrrha just, plowing through trees, god, marry me
her constant apologizing im. i love her but also who hurt u...
LMAOO WEISS AND RUBY
pyrrha u deserve better
love the casual use of ruby’s semblance
ruby did u rlly ditch weiss Just for the dramatic cliffhanger LMAO
“nnnnope” WIFE
is it just me or does it Mean something that blake still wants to be partners with yang even after seeing her get irrationally angry about something - y’know, the same kind of thing she probably saw from adam far too often? she probably saw that yang was a good person regardless UGH i love them so much
weiss and ruby arguing is so fun to watch! except it isn’t!
jaune doesn’t fucking know what aura is....... jesus christ.
“ITS LIKE A FORCE FIELD” I MEAN. YEAH.
REN RLLY EXPLODED THAT GRIMM SNAKE’S HEAD BY SMACKING IT HUH.
pyrrha don’t waste ur aura on him smh
bitchboy has a lot of aura huh??? use it to SUPPORT ur FRIENDS you loser
AWW NORA ILY... the boop was so cute
OK ALRIGHT i’m about to fall asleep on my laptop so thats that for today. i gotta rlly jam on watching this now that i’m on a time limit of sorts SO i’m gonna get back on this tomorrow. yeah.
#rwby#yin rewatches rwby#my posts#none of this is well articulated but them's the breaks when ur exhausted
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
I have a few questions if you don't mind. Does the host hear the alters talking in their head? Do they talk to the host or each other? How do the fronting alters deal with the body not looking like them at all? Also is it true that alters are their own people & personalities?
Hi!! So our energy/spoons/forks r kinda HUH but I’m not sure when we r gnna actlly answ this So I’ll try 2 pls excuse how I talk edhhsvshde
1.) Does the host hear alters talking in their head?
Yes! And it can happen for ANY alter who’s in control!!! N then the “clarity” of what they’re sayin can vary. Sometimes U can hear what they’re sayin clearly or sometimes it’s pictures, emotions, colors, or EVEN a vague or clear summary or understanding of the whole thing in general. Sometimes u dnt even have 2 hear the whole thing- it’s like a weird telepathy thing. Bc ur share a brain in a way, sometimes u dnt even have 2 use words to “hear or talk” 2 each other if that makes sense
2.) Do they talk to the host or each other?
Vague question but yes!! Yes 2 both! If ur in control, whoever is inside can b talking 2 u or others. 4 example, the other night, Matthew (he is not a/the host) was going 2 sleep but he cld overhear peter n Dakota fighting n it was kind of distracting shgshsgsggsg
Sometimes we just react 2 the outside ether like 4 example, we were going grocery shopping last nite n some ppl were watching us do things in he outside. We found a mug that says “GOOD morning” n peter, not talking 2 any1 but was reacting “oh that’s not a mug for mr Loki”
N an example 4 us talking 2 whoever’s in front/in control can b 2 help them sometimes 2 like 4 example peter wld b infront n having a panic attack n Crowley wld come over n try 2 talk him thru it :,^)
It actlly dsnt have 2 b “the host” but if ur a new sys I can get yvthats an important question- so Yea!! Alters can talk 2 both the sys n each other- n when the host or whoever is in control hears the others they don’t have 2 necessarily b talking 2 u- I just hear them doing their own thing
3.) How do the fronting alters deal with the body not looking like them at all?
This is kinda tricky bc it’s diff 4 every alter n in every sys!! Some of us dnt have dysphoria, some do but repress it, n some do n it’s rlly bad :^( it’s like gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia u kno? Except this is in the Sys sense n not exactly the LGBT sense
Actlly, whatever coping mechanisms can help ppl in he LGBT w their dysphoria r RLLY good suggestions!! I’m not super sure how 2 help girls in a male body, but I can sort of shape eour experiences bc the body is female. Stuff like oversized stuff is super helpful! Tying ur hair is good 2, n getting a binder cld help!! We dnt have a binder yet but we’re saving up 4 1 n asking our friends
We’ll always b dusphroic no matter what tho sometimes- its just a matter of getting used 2 it,,, we notice he newer u r 2 the sys no matter if ur the same gender, will uslly panic @ front n get RLLY dysphoric. 4 ex, the body is like, 5”1/2, but IM 5”11. I’m NB yea but my body is SUPER diff from the body’s,,, I have aaaa “parts” n while I dnt have dysphoria in my own body, I def do in the physical body
I wld suggest cosplaying tho!! Sal did 4 Halloween! It’s nice 2 get stuff or wear stuff that makes u feel more u- but don’t do anything drastic w/o telling or aksing the sys
My tip is rlly just 2 avoid mirrors n also do what makes u comfortable,,, mirrors can trigger dysphoria even after forgetting all day :^(
4.) Also is is true that alters are their own people & personalities?
This is actlly scary 2 answ bc som ppl c this diff so I’ll just try 2 make it short
I wld say yes where u shld respect each alter 4 being diff if they say they r so on so forth
They can b their own persons, som of them dnt want 2 b seen as their own persons
It’s kinda complicated bc it depends on the SYS- AND if they r, u SHLD respect if they want 2 b called this or that n their privacy etc
In GENERAL, alters can b or r their own ppl w their own likes n dislikes. Sometimes they can b SUPER diff 2 each other n sometimes they can b rlly similar- butvthey can b diff 2 each other 2 — it’s like, rlly complicated
PERSONALLY, we like being called by our names!! We dnt go in public n tell He world tho— 4 the most part 4 us, it’s like not pretending 2 b the body but still using the body’s name bc it’s a safe option u kno??
My euphoria when ppl call me by my own name is AAAAA???? N it feels rlly good 2 LIKE,,,, B MYSELF,, som of us n a lot of us actlly FEEL physical pain when having 2 copy Jamie a lot, like u can C the pain in Chara’s text when they have 2 pretend 2 b :333 ;;;!!!!! All the time GSVHSSVHS but they’re rlly good @ it anywy
I don’t have 2 try HVSHSSG no1 notices uwu but 2 us it’s SUPER obv I’m 2 diff but singlets don’t notice??? It’s y it’s scary bc mayb we might be leaning 2 overt more NHA covert n no1 ever talks abt that
Anywy I’m talking 2 much I hope this answers stuff!! If we missed smth just send another ask!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Every question!!
SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS
LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO
1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!
2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess
3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark
4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that
5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀
6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general
7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so
8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale
9: My best first date: :))))))) as if
10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4
11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig
12: What time were I born: 12:19
13: Favourite color: pink!
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”
16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too
17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol
18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont
19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO
20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh
21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s
22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special
23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk
24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels
25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety
26: Meaning behind my URL:
27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD
28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)
29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh
30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry
31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily
32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)
33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired
34: Favourite holiday:
35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it
36: Tattoos and piercings I want:
37: The reason I joined Tumblr:
38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?
39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?
40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no
41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday
42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes
43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months
44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada
45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would
46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears
47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah
48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah
49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always
50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh
51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so
52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so
53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb
54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol
55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend
56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7
57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?
58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”
59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind
60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname
61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online
62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so
63: Do I believe in magic? i think!
64: Do I believe in luck? yeah
65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!
66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class
67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic
68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot
69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget
70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now
71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no
72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter
73: Favourite animal? cats or otters
74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT
75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!
76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀
77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2
78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh
79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word
80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked
81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE
82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?
83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading
84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”
85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO
86: Had sex? no
87: Bought condoms? no
88: Gotten pregnant? NO
89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year
90: Kissed a boy? :(((
91: Kissed a girl? no
92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no
93: Had job? I have a job rn so
94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school
95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?
96: Had sex in public? virgin squad
97: Played on a sports team? yeah
98: Smoked weed? no ew
99: Did drugs? no ew
100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW
101: Drank alcohol? yep
102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die
103: Been overweight? i’m twig
104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small
105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring
106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday
107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?
108: Been outside my home country? ONCE
109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !
110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!
111: Broken a bone? no
112: Cut myself? not technically
113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD
114: Been in airplane? once
115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch
116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI
117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty
118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now
119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good
120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way
121: Had oral sex? as if
122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh
123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY
124: Rode in an ambulance? nope
125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old
126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small
127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?
128: Peed outside? yes
129: Been fishing? YES
130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so
131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly
132: Broken a mirror? no
133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff
134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly
135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit
136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!
137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels
138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that
139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal
140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!
141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee
142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,
143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot
144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT
145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it
146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all
147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed
148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school
149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument
150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition
151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care
152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls
153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that
154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !
ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
1-99
you think this is a game anon? you send in 1-99 i’m gonna do 1-99 so HERE WE H*CKING GO
“1) Sexuality?”
bi! even tho i’m not attracted to many boys (and i actually only seriously like one) i still consider myself to be a groovy bisexual
“2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?”
any of the monkees! but also paul mccartney!
“3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.”
here’s an excerpt from the nearest book, ‘‘the everything reading music book’‘: “The terms measure and bar can be used in place of one another - they mean the same thing.” very educational!
“4) What do you think about most?”
it’s probably pathetic but i probably think about story concepts the most! either that or monkees stuff but sometimes they can be the same thing
“5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?”
my latest text is from my dude sean a.k.a joj-n-ringo who said that he sent me loads of asks about nwa but somehow i didn’t get any of them
“6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?”
always with! sleeping naked is weird and plus i hate my body and don’t wanna look at it SKJALKJAKLHDKSJLKN
“7) What’s your strangest talent?”
i dunno! i don’t really have any weird talents!
“8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)”
girls…are neat! boys…are also neat!
“9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?”
no one’s ever written me a song but i’ve had friends write me poems before! it’s nice and i love it
“10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?”
hm……when’s the last time i listened to joe walsh’s life’s been good……………probably then!
“11) Do you have any strange phobias?”
i don’t know if it counts as a phobia but i get really bothered when i see shirtless pics of people and their ribs are visible like idk what it is but eeeee i don’t like it
“12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?”
not that i can remember, lmao
“13) What’s your religion?”
i’m not like a diehard religion fanatic but i was raised christian and still sorta stand by it yknow
“14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?”
looking at the area around me, even if i’ve seen the place a thousand times, i’m always just lookin around lmao
“15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?”
it depends! mostly i like being in front tho jdhbkjfhdjfls
“16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?”
the monkees! those four idiots have my whole heart
“17) What was the last lie you told?”
my mom asked me if i did my homework yesterday and i lied and said i did it at school BUT I DID DO MOST OF IT THERE SO WHEN I BROUGHT IT HOME I DIDN’T HAVE A LOT TO DO
“18) Do you believe in karma?”
i guess so! what goes around comes around i’d suppose
“19) What does your URL mean?”
it’s named somewhat after my favorite anime character tomoko kuroki bc i love her and she’s a big mood
“20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?”
i think my greatest weakness would be that i jump to conclusions without any reason yknow but i think my biggest strength would be either my writing abilities or my ability to sorta see through people and see exactly what type of person they are
“21) Who is your celebrity crush?”
davy jones !!!!!! i love him so much !!!!!!!!!!
“22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?”
hELL NO i would never i’m way too modest for that sjsklaskjdkbfnj
“23) How do you vent your anger?”
usually i talk to someone about it who’d understand but sometimes when i don’t want to bug anyone i just scribble it all down
“24) Do you have a collection of anything?”i have a record collection! and a cd and tape collection, i mostly just collect music stuff kshsjlbsjk
“25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?”
i don’t really like either but i prefer talking on the phone!
“26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?”
not entirely
“27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?”
i hate the sound of babies screaming like i don’t hate children but uGH it kills my ears and a sound i love is the sound of tambourines! i love those lil things they do a good noise
“28) What’s your biggest “what if”?”
what if it’s all for nothing (this could apply to several things)
“29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?”
i dunno about aliens but i think there are ghosts! i’d love to be friends with a ghost like. imagine
“30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.”
with my right i touch my phone first! and with my left i touch my 3ds
“31) Smell the air. What do you smell?”
it smells like……………………………..air
“32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?”
i dunno i’ve never really been anywhere super terrible
“33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?”
uhhh east?
“34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?”
DAVY JONES OF COURSEEEEE
“35) To you, what is the meaning of life?”
to give it meaning
“36) Define Art.”
art is whatever you make it tbh, something that inspires
“37) Do you believe in luck?”
i guess! even tho i have the worst luck ever
“38) What’s the weather like right now?”
cold and windy it SUCKS
“39) What time is it?”
at the time of writing this answer it’s 8:37 pm!
“40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?”
i’m too young to drive so i’ve never done it bsjhklskjdvbfjdsk
“41) What was the last book you read?”
i admit i write more than i read but i believe the last time i read a book was yesterday when i was reading one of my how-to-read-sheet-music books from the library
“42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?”
i can tolerate it but i wouldn’t want to sit and smell it for hours
“43) Do you have any nicknames?”
not really! if you gave me one that’d be neat
“44) What was the last movie you saw?”
last time i watched a movie was when i rewatched the beatles movie ‘‘help!’‘ it’s a rlly good movie i love it
“45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?”
uh once i broke my arm in kindergarten but i think that’d be it
“46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?”
like in a net? no but i’d really like tooooo i think it’d be neat
“47) Do you have any obsessions right now?”
MONKEESSSSSS I’VE BEEN HYPERFIXING ON THE MONKEES FOR NEARLY A YEAR NOW I JUST LOVE THOSE FOUR DUMBASSES ESPECIALLY THE SHORT ONE THAT TALKS FUNNY
“48) What’s your sexual orientation?”
i’m a girl! born a girl and i have stayed a girl since. wild
“49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?”
not that i know of sjhskdksl is that a good thing??
“50) Do you believe in magic?”
perhaps it’s out there and someone’s just keeping it to themselves WHICH WOULD SUCK BC GIVE ME SOME MAGIC YOU FUCK
“51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?”
i forgive but never forget
“52) What is your astrological sign?”
since i was born on november 8th i’d be a scorpio!
“53) Do you save money or spend it?”
i’m terrible at saving money but i’m a wiz at spending it
“54) What’s the last thing you purchased?”
my monkees shirt! i love that thing even tho it was 90 dollars on etsy but lemme tell ya it’s 90 dollars well spent
“55) Love or lust?”
love !!!!!!!!!!
“56) In a relationship?”
in my daydream universe i’m the lovely intelligent wife of davy jones but in reality i’m a lonely bitch skjfhdsjflsj;fdkk
“57) How many relationships have you had?”
i had a boyfriend for a week in kindergarten but only because he recognized me from sunday school and i’ve never had a relationship since
“58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?”
no and i can’t believe people can do that but some people can’t like HUH
“59) Where were you yesterday?”
i wasn’t anywhere near the crime scene officer i swear
“60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?”
on my desk next to my coaster is my pink rubber bracelet with a peter tork quote on it! and that’s not very far away so it counts!
“61) Are you wearing socks right now?”
the only time i’m not wearing socks is when i’m in the shower so yes
“62) What’s your favorite animal?”
the red panda !!!! i love those funky little dudes !!!!!!!
“63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?”
i really would not know my dude i mean just being myself i guess?? bold of you to assume people like me
“64) Where is your best friend?”
probably at their house being the greatest best friend ever
“65) Spit or swallow?(;”
i think when you’re brushing your teeth you literally have to spit you can’t just swallow that shit what the fuck if i find someone who does that i’ll ascend
“66) What is your heritage?”
i don’t really know! i mean i’m about as white as a piece of paper so
“67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?”
i told you before officer i wasn’t out doing illegal actions ((nah but seriously i was watching youtube i think))
“68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?”
bofa
“69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?”
honestly i never remember where my bus stop is i always just look out the window and see my house and i’m like oh shit time to skidaddle so i mostly rely on the bus driver for that. thanks bus driver
((yeah))
“70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?”
i think being friends with me would be alright maybe!
“71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?”
man fuck that guy i’m saving that fuckin dog then i’ll just show up with the dog and everyone will think it’s so cute that i won’t get fired. problem solved!
“72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?”
i guess everyone would already know but i’d finish everything i’d need to like writing projects and stuff, i’d make sure i’d do everything i need to before i had to die
“73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.”
where there’s trust there’s love so trust!
“74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?”
looking for the good times by the monkees never fails to make me smile! i just love davy a lot
“75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?”
7644!
“76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?”
a good relationship starts with a good friendship yknow. you have to be able to love and appreciate the person you’re with and accept them the way they are and not try to change them too much. and it also sorta all relies on trust. if you can trust who you’re with, you’re good to go. and if you feel like you’re unable to call them out when they do wrong or if they do/say something really bad and you just let it slide then that’s not good in a relationship i’d say
“77) How can I win your heart?”
be nice
“78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?”
maybe just a small, small amount but not a lot
“79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?”
deciding to listen to the monkees tbh bc !!! i love em !!!! have i mentioned this !!!!
“80) What size shoes do you wear?”
like size 11 or somethin like that
“81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?”
“bury me shallow because i’ll be back”
“82) What is your favorite word?”
my favorite word would probably be “lovely” bc it’s so fuckin !! good !!!!!!!
“83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.”
i always hear the word in davy’s voice and the way he says it LKDSLSKS he goes “h a h t” it’s cute
“84) What is a saying you say a lot?”
“it be like that sometimes”
“85) What’s the last song you listened to?”
everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears! listening to it as i answer this actually
“86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?”
blue! really any shade of blue but especially light blue!
“87) What is your current desktop picture?”
i’ve said monkees too many times in this post but. them
“88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?”
the president bc he sucks
“89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?”
if someone outside of the internet asked if i were gay i think i’d be a little scared to answer bc yknow my whole family is homophobic and all that and sometimes you never can tell who is and who isn’t
“90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?”
introduce myself bc even if i’m scared i’m not about to be impolite
“91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?”
time travel !!!! they call me TIME TRAVELING PRODUCE AISLE
“92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?”
maybe a half hour of my first concert! it was a blast
“93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?”
developing depression
“94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?”
DAVY FUCKIN JONES but would we still see eachother afterwards is the question
“95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?”
manchester, england !!!!!!! i really want to go and i actually kinda wanna move there someday
“96) Do you have any relatives in jail?”
not that i know of i sure hope not lmao
“97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?”
once a long time ago
“98) Ever been on a plane?”
never bc my mom is super scared of heights and scared of planes and tbh i kinda don’t really like planes i prefer boats
“99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?”
i’d say listen to papa gene’s blues by the monkees and listen to mike nesmith go “yeeeeeehawwwww !!!!!!”
this took me an hour thanks anon
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
1, 2 & 15!!! im super curious abt 2~
1. how long have you known you liked girls?
huh around this time my 8th grade yr? three yrs ago but like. i think it took me a lil while later to act u a l l y like. accept it u kno
2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls
omg i talked abt her a lil bit here if u wanna read tht too ! but we’re also still friends nd i love her so im gonna talk abt her a bit more if u dont midn :( shes rlly cute nd friendly nd honestly we got in a lil fight a bit ago nd yeah it was my fault but :( we reconciled nd im . SO big happie abt tht like also on her ig,,,, she s so big gay on her story nd i can only strive to b tht way its so COOL nd CUTE i love her nd its rlly a fond?? memry for me now its one of my only redeeming memories of middle school sitting next to her in IPS in 8th grade,,,,, i never did any work in tht class bc i was too busy tryin g not to stare at her i made a Big Fool of myself lea u have NO clue
15. what’s the best thing about liking girls?
KNDSKFJNKJNSDF you rlly went ahead nd killed me huh,,,,, omg everything though!! i rlly like the comforting presence girls have like if i were around a boy my ass is so anxious sometimes scared but girls are very comforting and nice i love it,,,,also ive cuddled w a girl once (1) nd she wasnt even my gf dfkjngjkndfg but i think i can confirm boobs are sft nd make the BEST pillows i love it and also just. girls wow girls can rlly do anything theyre so wonderful nd empathetic nd sometimes,,, the way the light falls on their hair onto their skin at sunset,,,,, wow i just can t get any gayer huh
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just like video game designers put super hard bosses/puzzles in their games to teach the player a new skill or encourage them to try a different approach, sometimes in real life shit breaks us, absolutely demolishes us so that we can rebuild ourselves in ways we couldn’t before. I’ve been thinking bout that in reference to a recent heartbreak and it’s v comforting. I’m sick as shit and my hair is being held up with an arm band but gosh does my soul feel so light ~Oswald
hey im putting all ur asks in this series below n then responding just bc it takes up a bit of space but i want them all to b together
To continue off of my last ask, God really did //that// for me huh? Like oof, it was pretty well orchestrated imo. I got kinda complacent and lazy with my life and (mental) health. So wam bam God drops a big old heartbreak (worsened by miscommunication) on my doorstep before taking away my crush’s (and at the time, fp) WiFi so I could only talk to him in school. Which was stressful the 1st week. Yknow how I handled the stress? I went to the gym and exercised at home regularly ~Oswald (1)
Right, so now that I’m going to the gym two things happen: 1.) I realize that I need to make sure I eat enough so I have energy to compete with myself. 2.) I start seeing one of my old friends on a regular basis bc we exercise at the same times. It’s great bc he knows how to properly navigate a gym and stuff! So now I’ve built a habit of exercising regularly as well as trying to eat on a daily basis which is absolutely great!! ~Oswald (2)
But if I want to make sure I eat regularly I need to do smth about my depression and also re-establish my eating times. So I ended up finding content on tumblr that made me feel better while I sipped on chocolate. Eventually I started watching yt vids (mainly gaming vids which usually get released around noon &3pm) while eating a small lunch. So I’m still working on it but I’m slowly building up an eating habit (this morning I had breakfast! ) !! ~Oswald (3)
So now that I’ve been watching a bunch of yt vids I got sucked back into more educational channels (like Vsauce oof) so I’ve been actually paying more attention to what I’m watching and I honestly love learning so much, so that’s really helped with making me feel better overall. I’ve also started reading articles hopefully I’ll start reading books again soon!! ~Oswald (4)
I’ve been waking up around 2-3am for a while now. So I’ve learnt to waste time bc I don’t like doing things so early in the morning. Anyhow, out of a burning need to do something, anything fulfilling, I’ve started drawing in the morning and….wait for it….. writing in my prayer journal! I feel like that is just the glue that’s gonna hold everything together for me? Idk it’s relaxing as heck and I just, ive been feeling really light bc of them (prayer and art) ~Oswald (5)
I’ve been feeling a lot better about myself recently. Certainly not as amazing as I could be but I’m getting there! “Cyclical but progressing” is smth I’ve been saying a lot bc Ik that this good run I’m having rn will come to an end. But the hope is that when things get bad they won’t be as bad as/I’ll be able to handle it better than last time. Also that I’ll be happier for longer next time around. ~Oswald (6)
To think it took one painful thing at the beginning of this month, coupled with some God orchestrated coincidences, to bring me to where I am now is just a big old wow for me!! Gosh I’m so!!!!!! ~Oswald (7) [hopefully all my messages sent. Hopefully this one sends of nothing else]
-------------------------------------------------------
hey i know this is ridiculously late but i didn’t want to jus delete this ask bc im rlly rlly proud of u for growing and. allowing urself to come back stronger int he face of adversity u have a rlly good mindset and. ur rlly rlly strong ur gna do so many amazing things n get so much better !!!!! motivation and passion and consistent Drive is smthn i rlly need to work on and ur an inspiration tbh thank you for having faith in urself and what u could be
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
artsybarrels
artsybarrels
w3dbd8pz4n1hv8
Untitled
heartcoma
(heart)coma
boringcapital
Boring Capital
simplyannamazing
simplyannamazing