#i still have bodypaint on me

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, I took a quick nap and Ive decided that I wanna get the UTM reenactment over with as quickly as possible so Im reading chapter 42 and then I'll reward myself with some pain au chocolats and not thinking about this book for the rest of the day and watching the 2002 takarazuka flower troupe production of elisabeth instead. lets go

Chapter 42

here we fucking go with the illyrian wingspan-dicksize correlation, how would Amren even know that isnt she above sex or something. Honestly, I think Cassian would know wayyyyy more about that. on account of all the gay sex hes having i mean. I thought of that joke and then I realized that you could interpret it to mean that he knows about that because hes illyrian and has a dick, but I want to make it very clear that this is a gay sex joke

how come wings are so sensitive that just barely stroking them makes you moan and shudder but you can still fly with them in harsh winds with no issue. My headcanon is that wings arent actually that sensitive, Rhysand and Cassian are just weirdos with a specific kink

This conversation Feyre and Rhys are having about his wings is so weird, its like dirty and yet uncomfortably clinical

oh Rhysand is quicker than death just fucking kill me, im getting so angry again

Syphons are called 'Trichtersteine' ['funnel stones' or 'funnel gems'] in german which is more accurate to how we're actually told they work imo but it sounds pretty lame

Is it just me or is Rhysand being kinda weirdly paranoid rn. I mean granted, they did just get attacked with ash arrows so maybe hes actually doing a good job for once and Im just biased against him

Okay so we finally get some night court fae wearing white, but of course its not for moon symbolism its so they can blend in with the rock of the mountain because this series does nothing but disappoint me

The Hewn City actually sounds really cool, why couldnt this have been the secret city where we spend most of our time, you couldve made it a whole thing about Feyre healing from her trauma UTM through like, exposure therapy or something idk. That wouldve been neat and dramatic, her healing from her UTM trauma in the place that inspired it with the person that inflicted it. I mean, maybe that would be less healthy and even more controversial than Feysand already is but then you could atleast lean into the dark romance of it

I mightve said this already but you knowwww sjm is NOT a painter and consulted ZERO painters because Ive never heard of anyone think about creating art the way feyre does

and Mor is wearing red AGAIN why would you make this a trigger for Feyre just go back and edit it out its not like it matters

God, the description of her outfit is so deeply discomfortingl like it literally is exactly what she wore while she was being drugged assaulted but atleast they left the bodypaint out this time

"[Keir] looked at my face, then my body. I had thought that he would stare and drool greedily but... there was nothing. No emotion. Just ice cold. Shaking internally, - from anger and revulsion - I followed Mor." Im sorry, is she mad that Keir doesnt find her hot????

Theres something uncomfortable about Feyre referring to Rhysand as 'Mor's Lord' especially when we just had a whole paragraph describing her as a proud and empowered queen

"Usually, one Syphon was enough for an Illyrian to to able to steer his urge to kill down the right path." what???

Now shes describing Azriel as dark and beautiful as death and oughhhhhh i knoww im the only who cares about this and its for a pretty stupid reason but I care a lot and it makes me very angry

Feyre referring to a 19 year old Mor as 'barely more than a child' is weirdddddd

of COURSE hes wearing a black tunic for this, I cant believe this is the guy that the fandom has designated the fashion lover when he has two (2) outfits

Feyre describing Rhysand as sooooo powerful and beautiful with a face of nightmares and dreams makes me want to vomit, but more importantly, it makes me yearn to rewatch the 1996 takarazuka star troupe production of Elisabeth with Asaji Saki as Death who unirionically fits all of Feyres descriptors 1000 times better

Not Rhysand using Feyres Cursebreaker title while hes thoroughly humiliating her

Now Feyre is calling him a god, bro youre not gonna be able to have sex if you jack him off this hard hes gonna be all sore

Imagine being a hewn city noble and you all get together because your high lord wants something from you and youre kinda scared because hes the worst, and then you just have to watch him finger some random lady. and you cant leave because then he'll just kill you

I dont like that this is framed as empowering to Feyre, i think its one thing to write a female character who sexualises herself in order to empower herself but the fact that Feyre is doing this at the behest of Rhys automatically renders it non-empowering to me. Like yeah, she obviously consented to this but it wasnt her idea but this was not her idea and this is not something she usually does, the only times shes been sexualized like this is because it was part of some plan that Rhysand came up with

"[Keir] apparently clung to the power. But Rhys was the power." i hate that that sentence made me think of Keir/Rhysand as a ship why am I so goddamn yaoi-brained. And yeah, i know theyre related but according to Rhys himself, he and Mor are only cousins in the most distant sense, so. Man, that would make the IC dynamics so much more fucked up but also so much funnier

Theyre trying so hard to make this hot n sexy but its just so unappealing and dragged out. Granted, sorry if this is TMI, but I did just jerk off so Im all out of horniness for the next little while so maybe I just dont like this because Im not in the mood but idk. theres something so annoying about this, i think its how over-the-top and artificial Rhysands hotness feels, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely not my type

Imagine being Keir rn, just trying to do your job and tell your high lord everything that he needs to know, meanwhile his high lord is sitting in front of him fondling his new sex slave and you just have to keep a straight face. i mean, he sucks ass so i guess he deserves it but man

Presented to you with no further comment: "My breasts became heavy and full, longing, desiring, just like my crotch."

goddamnit, Rhysand just said that he put Feyre on his leash and then Keir made a kinda slutshame-y remark about her clothes and then I thought Rhys was like "maybe I'll put you on a leash too" but it was Feyre who said that. another loss for big gay incest

"He liked this as little as I did" uhhhhh no offense girlie but you actually seem to be having a pretty great time rn

I dont even know what to say about this part where Feyre is like, detaching herself from her thoughts that are calling her a traitor a liar and a whore ?? I think thats whats happening here?? Like, its trying so hard to be sexy but its invoking the imagery of Feyre's (and even Rhysand's) trauma and its just very strange

It took Rhys a fucking eternity to actually touch her pussy

What if Keir developed a voyerism kink because of this. would that be fucked up or what

Its so weird how Feyre thinks about how maybe Rhysand doesnt like sex or being desirable anymore because of amarantha and that certainly sounds like a trauma response he should have but instead it just never matters

"I had been tortured and tormented but my pain was nothing compared to his." YOU DIED

Oh man I cant believe I completely forgot about the absolutely iconic part where Rhysand gets so mad Keir for calling the woman he introduced as a whore a whore that he telepathically breaks his hand about it

what was the point of doing that, Feyre didnt even seem to like it that much

#anti acotar #anti sjm #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feysand #flames and darkness liveblog

[foone]

Goldfinger is the most Bond movie, fight me.

Bond blows up a drug lab and then goes for vacation in Miami. He's told there's a gold smuggler there, so he stops him cheating at gin rummy by seducing his spy? Then Bond is talking shit about, of all hands, the Beatles, and then he's knocked out. When he comes to, oh no! The spy girl is dead. She was killed with BODYPAINT. No, not poisoned body paint or anything, the film just says that body paint itself can kill you.

So Bond goes back to London, and they send him to learn more by playing golf with Goldfinger, the smuggler. Goldfinger tries to cheat, Bond stops him, then Goldfinger's henchmen shows how strong he is by crushing golfballs.

So Bond goes to Switzerland and meets a girl who turns out to be the sister of the dead body painted spy girl, and she's trying to kill Goldfinger. She fails, dying to the henchman's DEADLY HAT, and Bond is strapped to a table about to get his dick lasered off. He lies that his organization knows something they don't, so Goldfinger decides not to kill him.

Bond gets flown to a stud farm in Kentucky by a pilot named Pussy Galore. Bond wakes up, hears her name, and goes "I must be dreaming"

At the stud farm, Goldfinger is telling a bunch of mafia guys his plan: he's gonna use knockout gas on the whole city where Fort Knox is, then run off with the gold reserves. The mafia guys say "this is stupid", one leaves (he gets put in a car that goes through a car crusher) and then Goldfinger gasses them all, to death.

Bond goes to Goldfinger and points out this is an impossible plan: they'll never get all the gold out in time, the army will just show up from some other town and stop them. Goldfinger goes "of course! That would be silly. I'm just gonna nuke the gold."

Yeah he's already got a lot of gold, which will be much more valuable if a huge portion of the world's gold gets blown up/irradiated. And that knockout gas? It's just deadly poison.

Anyway the plan is launched, and Pussy Galore's All Female Flying Circus sprays gas over the city and we see all the army guards falling over dead, and Goldfinger's minions place the bomb in the vault of Fort Knox... Then the army guys get back up! They're not dead!

Yeah it seems Bond seduced her and convinced her to tell the authorities about the plot and also swap the Deadly Poison for something harmless.

Bond gets locked in the vault with the nuke and deadly hat guy, as Goldfinger's minions fight the army, with Goldfinger dressing up as a US Army general to escape.

Bond manages to kill the hat guy by electrocuting him through the hat, and Bond rushes over to figure out how to stop the bomb, as the timer counts down. He's lost, but fortunately a specialist from the army comes in and just hits a switch, stopping the bomb at 007 seconds to go.

With the army in control of the situation, Bond gets on a plane with Pussy Galore to go meet the President (given when this film was made, that'd be Lyndon B. Johnson) but then Goldfinger pops up. He's hijacked the plane, and he's got a gun!

They fight for the gun, and a window ends up getting shot out, and Goldfinger (who is not a small man) gets sucked out the plane window.

Bond and Pussy parachute out, and decide to ditch THE PRESIDENT in order to have sex in the woods, even as a rescue helicopter flies over them.

Credits roll.

It's just endlessly silly and over the top and fun.

Two final notes:

1. The whole thing of stealing vs nuking the gold is a change from the book. In the book, he was just gonna steal the gold, but the movie changes it to the nuke plot, but puts the idea to steal it in the film as an "obviously silly idea that would never work", which is slightly hilarious to me

2. The film also drops the fact that Pussy Galore is supposed to be a lesbian. This is certainly for the best, given that Bond still seduces her into betraying her boss. It's still somewhat implied in the film, though.

#James Bond

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

phew, ok gonna just ramble for a minute! for the last couple of days i've been getting so caught up in my milex feelings and the letdown after the anticipation that i almost forgot to be properly excited for this trip 🙈 but now that i'm actually in dublin, after listening to arctic monkeys and miles tunes on the flight and getting hyped about seeing my one of my best irl friends from london again for the first time since june, it's much easier for me to put things in perspective, thank goodness!! i'd have kicked myself later if i spent my time here moping (which i've kind of been doing these past two days) instead of being excited about getting to see my all time favourite band play again (twice!!) AND with miles as well, and just have a fun trip with my friends in dublin (even though it'll be raining cats and dogs, but we'll be in the pub most of the time anyway 🍻)

after the london gig in june i really thought that was it for a couple of years, so to have been given this extra opportunity to see them again so soon is insane and an absolute blessing. i'm SO fucking excited, i can't even tell you 😭 these will be my 8th and 9th arctic monkeys gigs to date, and i'm still just as hyped as i was 10 years ago, and i think that's worth reflecting on for a minute ❤️

i'm putting some more musings about the milex situation under the cut for anyone who might be interested in a different perspective, but mostly it's just for me, to be able to untangle the mess that my mind has been in these past few days. also, please know that i'm definitely not trying to invalidate anyone's concerns or diminish anyone's feelings, because lord knows i've been feeling all the things the past few days and all those feelings are very (very) real!

i guess what i just keep coming back to is the fact that arctic monkeys (or alex, really, lbr) asked miles to be the support for these four dates when they absolutely didn't have to do that, and that if there was any bad blood between them then they totally could've asked anyone else. but they didn't, they asked miles! and miles agreed! it's much more likely that the fact that they're not playing together is due to logistics (with the orchestra and limited rehearsal time) and wanting to highlight miles's new album than any personal reasons tbh. they're professionals doing their jobs first and foremost, and while obviously we'd love a display of sentimentality, if that doesn't fit the show for whatever reason then it makes sense they don't give us that. i'm sure it's all been discussed and agreed on between them, and that they're doing perfectly fine behind the scenes. it's true that miles shows us a lot of himself, but alex and the other boys do not, so it also makes sense to me that what miles shares about them/their interactions with him is limited too, much as i'd love to see him gush about them and post bts footage. i always find that i get easily swept up in emotions and conjecture when i'm watching things unfold from a distance, through the tumblr/fandom lens, but i forget sometimes that that is a heavily coloured lens, and that real life is often very different, despite what social media etc. may seem to show. and for me personally, i've noticed that sometimes it's really good to break out of the bubble for a bit and see things from a different perspective, so i'm glad i was able to do that before my shows!

also, on a side note, i've seen some people being disappointed that alex didn't dedicate bodypaint to miles but just gave him a shoutout, but to me the distinction doesn't matter too much. he mentioned miles when he didn't have to, and miles stayed to watch the boys do their thing after his own set, and he didn't have to do that either if he wasn't feeling it. the fact is that recently there have been more and more signs that our boys are actually growing closer again than they seemingly have been for a few years, and while obviously i just want them to give us everything and announce a tlsp reunion and also profess their undying love for each other while they're at it, maybe their doing what they can right now, and they just need a bit more time to get to where they once were. we all need time to heal, or something like that, anyway. i obviously don't know anything, but this possiblity seems just as if not more likely to me than the other option (which would be that any of this is a sign they're growing further apart, instead), so i'm good with that for the moment.

anyway, this is just me talking to myself on the plane and creating some perspective for myself, but maybe someone else might find it helpful too, who knows. in any case, i'm going to do my best to enjoy it all to the fullest!! and while obviously getting to see them do something together would be brilliant, it would just be the cherry on an otherwise already really fucking delicious cake ❤️

#i know nobody probably cares about my ramblings but it felt good to get it out ❤️ #arctic monkeys #alex turner #miles kane #milex #minnie talks

[bloodyshadow1]

my rankings on who I think the imposters are going to be

High chance

Orym- from a character and player standpoint, it would make sense to me for Orym to be one of the imposters, the group already trusts him the most. He's vanilla as a class so it would be easy for the dopplegangers to copy him and his moveset. Also Liam would love a chance to fuck with his friends and fellow players

Medium Chance

Chetney- in medium because he would be harder to replace than orym, because he has special abilities and can transform. The doppleganger might be able to copy some of his abilities aesthetically, but they haven't seen him transform so there is no way to know about it. Travis, like liam would love a chance to fuck with the table so I think he would be a good choice for matt

Laudna- like Chet has a transformation that I don't think she activated so the dopplegangers wouldn't know about it and would be easy to be revealed. That being said, Nana might have informed them somehow. Also as Marisha is her player, and married to Matt it would be easy for them to plan over the week to fuck with their friends. She also doesn't have the skills to be useful in this situation personally, other than deception. her abysmal strength score could be a detriment, so I could see Marisha 'accidentally' choosing those ability checks while still complaining about failing them without initailly raising suspicions

FCG- he is a metal being so I'm not sure how a flesh and blood doppleganger could replicate that outside of appearance. would they klink if flicked or would they feel like flesh with metallic bodypaint. Sam is an agent of chaos so I wouldn't put it past him to be an imposter just to fuck with his friends, maybe even a third imposter just for the hell of it

Low Chance

Ashton- honestly, as much as I think Talisen could be a good imposter, the big reason they're all there is because Ashton made a big decision with a huge fall out in their party. the party probably trusts them the least right now and they kind of need to be them so that the rift can heal

Other- mixed bag

Fearne- she's strange because I could see her go either way. I could see Nana Mori wanting Ferne to participate because she's her favorite, but I could also see her wanting Fearne in the stands with her. Fearne's a druid which are one of the most versatile classes so her spells are probably going to be key to solving the challenge or at least help it along. Ashley is a chaos gremlin though so I could see her having fun either way

Imogen- The big thing with imogen, is if Nana Mori does something to prevent her from reading minds at all. If she doesn't than imogen will all but have to be one of the imposters because she could read their thoughts and it would be too easy. Personally I think Mori will do something to mess with imogen's powers so she won't be an imposter, because she is one of the party that probably needs a lesson on trust. She removed her circlet because she doesn't trust most of the party, or at least she wants to be aware of the party's actions because of what happened.

What do you guys think? Do you agree do you have different lists for different reasons, let me know

#critical role #critical role spoilers #bells hells #cr 3 ep 79 #imogen temult #laudna #orym of the air ashari #chetney pock o'pea #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #fcg #fresh cut grass

[perlukafarinn]

Rating Star Trek TOS costumes because why not! (part 7)

I, Mudd (2x08). The vibes in Mudd's outfit are all over the place - it's pirate meets military meets used cars salesman. You know this man wears waaay too much cologne. 5/10, the belt should at least match the boots.

I'm way more into the androids' outfits. I love an asymmetrical shoulder and they've got that "one pant leg" thing going on that TOS was so fond of. I also adore their hair and their glittery tights! The chains look a little randomly placed, though, and those ugly ass necklaces sadly drag the whole fits down. 7/10.

Metamorphosis (2x09). Super cute! The whole outfit is very mod, maybe a little bit cheap looking but still stylish. The colors could match better but I love the cut of both the coat and the mini dress, and the headscarf and short gloves are just the perfect cherry on top. 8/10.

Journey to Babel (2x10). They did Amanda so dirty, introducing her in this ugly, shapeless coat. You can't tell from this screenshot but the collar looks like a cone of shame from certain angles. The dress underneath looks fine but we don't see too much of it. Sarek's outfit is boring but at least it's dignified. 5/10 for them both.

Sarek changes his outfit once (not counting his sickbay gown, which I don't), and it kind of looks like the same suit with a different decoration slapped on top. I do like this better, there's more of that dramatic flare we've come to expect from Vulcan fashion. 7/10.

Amanda's two other outfits this episode are a marked improvement. The first is a cute cocktail hour number, simple but colorful. 7/10. The second is my favorite; a pink wide-legged jumpsuit layered with a red knitted poncho with a pink fur trim. I'm a sucker for a red and pink color combo, and the fur trim is just the right amount of tacky for me. Amanda knocked it out of the park with this one, 9/10.

Then there's the various alien delegates we see this episode, which I'm lumping together because I don't have a whole lot to say. You can tell they had fun coming up with the aesthetics for the different alien races, though one group was clearly an afterthought. The rest of the aliens get prosthetics and bodypaint and then there's two regular dudes in cloaks. At least they're colorful? 7/10 for the whole lot of them, this is some delightful worldbuilding.

#star trek tos #star trek #rating star trek

[dani-dance]

Every day I get closer to getting all the items I need for my Night Sara cosplay (minus wig and bodypaint, I’m not planning on doing those). It’s just in a list of where to get certain stuff right now and I’d still need to paint and sew a bit but aside from that it should work!

(I had to workshop a few things - such as the skirt, since a blue transparent skirt seems impossible to find - so holo it is then. I could maybe make it myself but I’m an absolute beginner at sewing)

In the mean time, if anyone knows what the cut of Night Sara’s jacket is called, please tell me as I’ve been losing my mind trying to figure it out! It reminds me of a bolero jacket but it’s not quite that since it’s off-shoulder…

(it doesn’t need to have the feathers, I have an idea for how to do that, I just need to know whether the jacket base is something I can find and buy or something I’ll have to actually sew myself)

#just dance #jd Sara #jd night dancers #jd night Sara #jd #Dani speaks #cosplay

[sluttywonwoo]

thoughts on Minghao drawing bodypaint on your thighs and he’ll be so turned on when you show it off on a hangout by wearing a mini skirt .

minghao’s hand on the small of your back makes you shiver despite the warm weather, and you unconsciously tense under his touch. he gives you a sideways look as if to ask are you ok, to which you respond to with a curt nod.

but the truth is, is that you aren’t exactly ok, you’re horny out of your mind, and you suspect he already knows that- if the smirk playing at his lips is anything to go by.

he’d gotten to soonyoung’s early to set up for the barbecue, leaving you at his studio to get ready so that you could join everyone later. the only problem was that he’d left you in the middle of one of his ~painting sessions~ aka the ones where your body was the canvas and his d he was the paintbrush. you were a little annoyed, to say the least, when he’d gotten the call from jihoon while he was balls deep in you… and you were even more annoyed when he actually picked up the phone.

minghao had forgotten that he’d agreed to set up for the event, meaning he had to drop whatever he was doing (you) and book it over to soonyoung’s apartment. he’d apologized profusely, but you knew he could tell you weren’t thrilled about him ditching you in the middle of sex- messy sex, at that. you were still covered from head to toe in paint, and he wasn’t even going to get you off before leaving?

he told you that he’d make it up to you later, and that he’d see you at the party after you cleaned up, and then he was gone.

but you didn’t really feel like cleaning up. the paint was getting sticky and uncomfortable as it dried, but you knew that washing it off would only stain your skin. the designs were kind of pretty anyway...

you waited for the rest of the paint to dry before getting dressed, ensuring that none of it would get messed up by your clothes and then called an uber. you didn’t want to look like a total wreck, so you had wiped off your face and your neck. the only visible remnants of you and your boyfriend’s activities were on your thighs: delicate winding brush strokes that trailed up your legs and disappeared beneath the hem of your skirt. they looked a bit like vines, but the colors varied.

you weren’t sure what kind of reaction you were going to get from your boyfriend, but it was too late to go back. the uber had dropped you off in front of soonyoung’s and sped away already. in your mind, it was minghao’s mess to clean up anyway. he was the one who’d painted you, he was the one who’d have to take care of the aftermath- even in front of all of his friends.

everyone was going to know what they’d interrupted when they dragged him here, and the thought was enough to turn you on all over again.

and that’s how you got to where you are now, at minghao’s side with a cup of beer in your hand, listening to jihoon argue with soonyoung over their playlist.

minghao’s reaction had been the complete opposite of what you’d expected, even though you hadn’t even known what to expect in the first place. you thought maybe he’d be angry, or embarrassed, but he was just… smug. he wore that stupid little smirk all night as he dragged you around to mingle with everyone. he liked watching people stare at your legs, and got this cocky little look on his face whenever someone asked about the paint, not bothering to help at all when you sputtered through a shitty explanation.

it was hard to tell what exactly was going through his mind, but the skinny jeans he was wearing didn’t make it difficult to guess.

“didn’t have time to shower?” he jokes lowly, once he has you alone.

“maybe i didn’t,” you reply with faux disinterest. “since i had to finish myself off back at your place.”

minghao’s grin falls into a scowl almost immediately. “you didn’t.”

“could you have blamed me if i did?”

“i told you i’d make it up to you later!”

“but i was horny then, hao! what was i supposed to do?”

“you’re such a fucking brat,” he growls. “first you show up to my friend’s party with fucking body paint all over you, and now you’re telling me you got yourself off without my permission?”

“and who painted me? who turned me on? hm? seems like you’re the common denominator here, baby.”

your boyfriend narrows his eyes at you, making you swallow nervously. you’re so close to getting what you want, you know it. it’s just a matter of whether or not he’ll crack.

“meet me in the bathroom in ten minutes.”

bingo.

#answered #anon #seventeen smut #svt smut #minghao smut #the8 smut #myungho smut

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕

I have to say that CMI in general is my roman empire because I think about it multiple times a day. But perhaps you could guess my answer to your question, if I had to choose one it would probably be the bodypainting scene. Like I genuinely think about it so much!! And when it was mentioned in the last chapter I almost screamed out loud I swear (I still need to reread it sometime soon!!)

Honourable mentions are all of the phone calls/video calls in cmi: lights because they're so precious (and in times hot...) and made the distance between them so much more bearable and yet also made the longing worse at the same time 😔😔😔 And also when Jungkook picks OC up from the club and takes care of her in cmi: blue because that was just... so emotional and beautiful and so much more! I try to refrain from thinking of the too angsty ones as you can see lmao 😭😭😭

my sweetheart iviiii 🤧💕 NAWHHH, not cmi being your roman empire in general, i will flip my table ily 😭

i knew what you'd say before i even read your answer!! the bodypainting scene is so precious to me, too 🥺 especially since it inspired cmi in the first place <3 thank you for appreciating it sm as well :( i need to seriously refrain from mentioning it all the time bc oc (and i) cannot stop thinking about it either like it's so :'D ahh if you reread lmk how you feel about it after all this time!!

THE HONOURABLE MENTIONS ARE SO REAL! they weren't even anywhere near each other in Lights, but writing that chapter was the most fun ever. and the club scene from Blue 🤧 isn't it crazy how i'd planned it as part of this series from the very beginning? sigh 🥺 hahaha well, we're lucky bc the next chapters are pure fluff, too <3 but if you ever do want to talk about the angsty ones, you know where to find me 😂

what's your cmi roman empire? 🎨🤍

#tysm ivi <3 #cmi roman empire <3 #notes for rid 🌹 #ivi <3 #fic: colour me in

[milkywaydrinker]

Day 23. Family

There's been a lot going on! Turns out it's hard to find a moment to sit down and write. Oh well, I will catch up, just wait. This prompt was brought to you by: Me bullying my younger sister when we were teenagers (we're good now don't worry)

Family dinners weren't really their thing. They happened rarely and usually meant Ana visiting home during spring break or something like that. It's not like Norma hated her sister. They were way past something as juvenile. They didn't really get along and it was fine. It really was! This time, Norma had something important to say and someone to introduce. "Who's that little freak?" Her sister, polite as ever, pointed at her guest. "Hello Ana, nice seeing you too," Norma said through her teeth. "This is my very good work colleague and friend, Courtney. They're a demon." "You invited a coworker to a family diner?" Her sister wasn't impressed. "Don't be rude." Svati frowned at her elder daughter. "I think it's lovely you decided to invite a friend over sweetie." "Thanks, mom." Norma sighed in defeat. "Courtney, this is my mom and my sister." "Hi Norma's family," they said halfway hidden behind Norma's back. When they joked about Dead End feeling empty and lonely they didn't expect to get invited anywhere, much less to a family dinner. Going to Norma's house ended up being way more stressful than they thought. The unfamiliar territory and unclear rules made them anxious.

"So now you're all about demons and stuff, right? All that creepy mumbo jumbo you've been talking about in your podcast? You seem pretty into it." Ana took a sip out of her cup. Despite the dismissive tone, she was watching Norma intently. "It's not 'mumbo jumbo' because it's all real, demons and angels and magic." She took a seat at the table, sounding more tired than angry. This must have been a routine. "Don't even try to act like it's made up. Courtney is right here." "I could totally still do it," Ana smirked slightly. "Bet they're just some kid in bodypaint." "Ana." Svati looked at her pointedly. "I'm just teasing, of course, I believe you, especially after I saw the possessed dolls that apparently now live in our attic." She set her cup down with an audible knock of porcelain on wood. Courtney took a seat as well, quietly observing the three of them. It was a very different dynamic from Barney's family. Ana actively antagonized Norma every at every opportunity. She would poke fun at her, bring up past embarrassing situations, and crack jokes at her expense. In turn, Norma would deflect or ignore most of that poking and prodding. Up to a certain point. "So are you and that Badyah girl a thing? I always knew there was something else about you that-" "Shut up," Norma snapped. "I'm done." She pushed her chair away from the table and grabbed her plate. "We'll finish eating in my room. Come on Courtney." They shuffled away from the table awkwardly, grabbed their plate, and poofed away, catching up to Norma. "Hey, sooo…" "Sorry about my sister. She always makes a game out of it, like 20 questions but it's just her trying to set me off." She just looked tired. "Do you know why she does that?" "No, and I don't care." "It kind of looked like she was actually curious. Just weird about it." Courtney looked down the staircase with a frown. “Well, I’m weird about many things. Somehow I’m managing to not upset everyone around me,” Norma grumbled. “That’s fair.” They sat down on the floor and tilted their plate into their mouth, swallowing everything in one go. “I just think it’s a communication issue.” “Have you been to Barney’s therapist? You talk weird.” “It’s my own wisdom, thank you very much.” They looked at their plate longingly. “Hey, can I-” “Don’t eat the plate please.” “Alright.”

They talked about work stuff for a moment. It was true, Dead End seemed empty now. Barney and Pugsley made the place feel like home. They had their own little family there, just for a moment, but it was enough to leave a hole when it got taken away from them. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, Ana opened the door and leaned into the room. “I just wanted to-” “Get out,” Norma said plainly. “I came to say I’m sorry. Let me finish a sentence.” Ana rolled her eyes. “No. Out” “Just listen for a second. I’m sorry about being a dick to you. You just never talk to me. It’s like an interrogation every time I try to catch up.” “Maybe because you’re always acting like everything I like is stupid?” Norma got up and grabbed the door handle. “Stop making fun of me, and stop treating me like a dumb baby.” “Alright! Done! Come down, mom is freaking out.” They were both at the door, fighting for control. “I said I’m done. Can’t you respect that?” Norma tried to close the door. “We see each other once every few months. Suck it up.” Ana stubbornly kept it open. “I think you might want to stop that.” Courtney interrupted them. “Why should I care about what you think?” Ana scoffed. “Because you’re about to break the door,” they said calmly. “Wha?” The handle flew off causing both of them to stumble backward. “Shit.” They were pretty in sync with that one. “Girls? What’s going on?” Swati called from downstairs. “Nothing!” they called out together. “Okay, I’m coming down but you have to fix my door before you leave.” Norma sighed. “Deal.”

#parkvember #dead end paranormal park #i'm so tired i'm going to sleep for 10000 hours after I come back from work

[lovelynim]

TickleTober 2022/Day 2 - Drawn On

Eighty-Six - Theo x Shinen

Despite taking Theo a stupidly huge amount of effort, he managed to convice Shinen. All the other remaining members of the Spearhead Squadron agreed in letting the blonde practice some bodypainting technique he found while looking for art books, all but one. However, things were just about to change.

Shinen sighed, not exactly distressed, but also not the most excited person with the idea. He knew he should play along and it wouldn’t be bad to do something different, but as Raiden said on other occasions, Shin could be “a little grumpy” sometimes. 

Taking his jacket off, Shinen sat down, with his back turned to Theo, who was already waiting for the brunette. After all, he wouldn’t leave Shinen waiting for a single second because he couldn’t risk letting the boy change his mind.

Just like the rest of the squadron, they both agreed on painting the old Undertaker’s personal mark and, maybe under a symbolic reason, Shin chose his neck to be Theo’s canvas.

“I’m going to start now, ok?” Theo said, pulling the other shirt’s collar down a little to have a little more skin exposed.

“Alright, go on.” He answered, keeping his gaze distant as he let the other do as he pleased.

Theo couldn’t hold back the excited smile on his face. Nodding, he picked up the pencil, making sure it wasn’t too sharp, and decided to first trace some rough drafts and, later on, start making the outline of the mark. 

But things weren't really working as he planned. At the very first line, Shinen fliched, slightly scrunching up his shoulder.

“Sorry, did it hurt?” Theo asked with a pinch of worry.

“Not really.”

“I’ll keep going then, alright?”

“Mhm,” Shin hummed and the blonde couldn’t help to hear as he sighed again, as if trying to relax himself.

Placing his hand on the back of his colleague’s head to stretch, Theo decided to be a little more gentle while tracing over his neck. Maybe his skin was more sensitive around his scar, so he should be careful as he drew on him.

But Theo had barely managed to finish a circle before Shin started trembling. There definitely was something off about it.

“Shin?”

“Y-yes?” He huffed, coughing as he tried to ‘fix’ his voice tone, “is something wrong, Theo?”

“I need to hold still, I can’t finish the draft like this.”

“Sorry, it tickled,” he tried to admit as naturally as possible, maybe trying to not spark the other’s curiosity, but it was unavoidable.

“It what?” Theo gasped, even stopping for a moment.

“I’m not repeating myself,” Shin snapped back, letting out an embarrassed huff.

“Right… Just try to bear with me a little longer, okay? I won’t tell anyone,” Theo giggled quietly before resuming the drawing. 

Shinen closed his eyes shut as he tried to focus on something else, controlling his breath and letting his body as loose as possible. But as soon as Theo resumed, the feeling seemed much other than before.

“P-pfft- Theheheo- mhmph- it tihihickles…” The undertaker giggled, making the blonde slightly blush behind his back.

“”I know, but you are doing well…” Theo replied, trying to hold the other in place as he continued to brush the pencil over his friend’s neck, “I will be done in no time, trust me ~”

Just as predicted, the lines ended up as messed up as they could. Not a single straight line in sight and all the round ends were roughly sharped. Shinen struggled to not giggle during the whole process and they had to stop constantly to let the boy calm down before the blonde would resume drawing on his neck.

Despite the many obstacles in his way, Theo managed to make a nice (and rough) looking mark on the brunette’s neck. 

“Alright, we are done with the draft,” the boy cheered, placing the pencil down.

“Ah, so we are over?” 

“Ahm, not really. That was only the draft. I need to draw the final outline and paint it…” He explained and Shin could feel the pleading-puppy-eyes staring at his neck.

“Alright,” he sighed, biting his lip as he mentally prepared himself, “go on.” 

“Heh, as you say ~” Theo said, not really putting effort in making his tools feel less ticklish on his Shinen’s skin. After all, if he ever asked the blonde about it, he could easily claim it was all about making the artistic process more… enjoyable, for both of them.

A/N: Second day, let’s go! I always wanted to write something for them and I just have to say thank you for my dear friend @wertzunge​ for the hcs that inspired me to write this ~

#augtickletober2022 #tickletober2022 #eighty six #eighty six shinen #eighty six theo #eighty six tickling #anime tickling #tickle fic #ticklish!shinen #lee!shine #ler!theo

[watching-pictures-move]

Viddying the Nasties | Eaten Alive! (Lenzi, 1980)

This review contains mild spoilers.

I watched this years ago at around the same time as I first saw Cannibal Ferox and remember hating both. As I’ve been watching a bunch of cannibal movies recently and also apparently hate myself, I decided to give this another shot, having revisited the other movie not too long ago. To paraphrase the slogan of a popular potato chip, when it comes to Umberto Lenzi cannibal movies, you can’t watch just one. With rewatches, my opinion of the other movie hasn’t improved by much, but with this, maybe it has. Through some combination of desensitization and greater exposure to lower budget cinema where technical prowess is beside the point, I didn’t actively hate the experience this time around.

Like the other movie, which will serve as a useful point of comparison, it contains all the things we expect from cannibal movies, namely horrific violence and animal cruelty and insulting portrayals of other cultures. Unlike that other movie, a lot of this is repurposed footage from Jungle Holocaust, Slave of the Cannibal God and Lenzi’s own The Man From Deep River. And I think it goes to prove what I’ve been saying about the animal cruelty in these movies, that if you could replace it with stock footage instead of staging it specifically for the movie and it would still work in the same way. The first time I watched the movie, I didn’t realize this was recycled footage, and only caught it this time around as I’d seen Slave of the Cannibal God less than a week earlier. Now, I think the ultimate test would be if you replace the animal cruelty with something less noxious, like, I dunno, a guy in a gorilla suit. Maybe the gorilla suit scenes from Carlos Tobalina’s Jungle Blue, which were shot in the jungle and probably would blend in well enough, and also horrify for completely different reasons.

This movie’s big hook is that it’s a cannibal movie with a Jonestown-like cult, although if anything it plays like a Jonestown-like cult movie with cannibals added in. But really neither element is fleshed out that intelligently. The cult is led by Ivan Rassimov, who does a lot of ranting and raving that leads me to believe that the cult fell under his spell before the movie started, and all the other characters who fall under his influence during the proceedings do so offscreen. Halfway into the movie he’s demanding that everybody drink the Kool-Aid, which seems a bit premature. He also has an interesting way of settling disputes in his cult. One of his enforcers accuses the hero played by Robert Kerman of hiding a bottle of whisky. Kerman calls the guy a liar and punches him out. Rassimov considers the case closed. I guess might makes right in this cult. One will also note that the clothing worn by the cult is far from gender neutral, with the men wearing togas and the women wearing a lot less, but as this means that Me Me Lai spends all her scenes in a loincloth or less and Janet Agren can be seen nude in gold bodypaint, I found it in my heart to overlook this one flaw. One will also note that the commune seems a bit too small to house all the members of the cult, unless they’re using bunk beds. The movie halfassedly introduces the possibility of cannibalism early on, showing us documentary footage in a gesture that likely evokes the lineage of this genre with mondo movies, and later awkwardly rushes out the cannibals to wrap things up. It’s as if it wanted to be its own thing but couldn’t help succumb to genre demands.

Anyway, the cast is the best thing about this movie. Rassimov, while not particularly effective in this movie, I still like seeing because I’ve seen him in enough of these Italian horror movies and after a certain point it’s like hanging out with a friend. Lai and Agren bring obvious aforementioned charms. And Kerman is a lot of fun, doing a low rent adventurer shtick, having some nice chemistry with Agren (“Curiosity killed the cat, lady”) and bringing a nice physicality as he throws himself into the stunts. (It looks like that’s really him dangling from the helicopter towards the end.) He’s joined by fellow porn character actor Jake Teague, who describes a recent spate of crimes as “very, very spooky”. We also get Mel Ferrer show up to pick up a paycheque ("Americans will believe anything that's tax-deductible”), although neither him nor Teague get anywhere near the jungle. We do get a scene at the end where Kerman, Ferrer and Teague share the screen and spar verbally, which might be the only time in cinema history that the guy who did Debbie in Debbie Does Dallas, Audrey Hepburn’s ex-husband and the dipshit psychiatrist from A Woman’s Torment shared the screen. A real clash of the titans.

Despite the animal cruelty (and I admit I still frequently look away from the screen during these movies), this one holds together better than its obviously cobbled together nature might suggest. There are enough narrative happenings to hold one’s interest, Kerman especially gives a fun performance, and the jungle has great presence. It certainly feels more like a “real movie” than Cannibal Ferox, even if the latter’s flimsiness adds to its pungency and effectiveness as pure exploitation, pieces of film barely stitched together to present the ugliest imagery one can conjure. That being said, there is one particular noxious sequence here, where a woman is at first captured and raped by cult members, and then killed and eaten by cannibals, and the way her body is laid out like a pinup during the latter occurrence left me a little queasy. This character has been totally objectified, completely reduced to a piece of meat.

#film #movie review #viddying the nasties #eaten alive! #eaten alive #umberto lenzi

[the-world-annealing]

Witnessing Orcs - Introduction

This is one of my writing projects this november: an extended exploration of orcs presented as an in-universe novel, mostly based on their 3.5 mechanics but pretty divorced from any particular rpg or piece of fiction. My aim is to avoid both the default D&D presentation (Orcs are innately evil and can only overcome this in exceptional cases, they love killing and violence and exist to be fodder for adventurers) as well as the regrettably common 'fix' for this (Orcs are perfect noble savages who get unfairly persecuted by evil humans). I'm aiming to explore things like demographics, culture, religion, technology, and interactions with other humanoids. Wherever at all possible, orcs will be psychologically identical to humans: no explaining cultural differences through innate predispositions.

What is an orc? To some, orcs are hulking men who come charging in from the dangerous north, in a manner not entirely unlike those other hulking men that come charging in from the dangerous north, distinguished by the length of their teeth and the colour of their skin. Few humans hold a clearer image than this, and all other images are merely distortions of it, and yet it is, at best, an overwhelmingly incomplete truth. To some, orcs are little more than beasts: half-naked forest-dwellers, too stupid to build a civilization of their own, understanding of nothing but strength, and even then too impulsive to properly obey it. People that cannot even be considered evil, because evil requires understanding, and no orc can truly understand its actions – the killed children, the burnt farmsteads, the cannibalism – all just the product of some mindless, destructive urge. To some, orcs are a concept, more than a reality, the child-eating darkness-dwelling bogeyman, a convenient shorthand for madness and bloodthirst, an useful, if somewhat blunt, rhetorical tool. Listen to your parents, little children are told, or the orcs will come and take you away. Pray to the gods, or the forces of evil will send their warriors. Give your protectors their dues, for they are the ones who stand between you and death. To some, orcs are a convenient shorthand, a means of communicating both strength and evil, the tool of a cowardly writer who wants his villain to have a faceless army. Orcs as a narrative force, suicidally obedient to some greater power, inhuman for the sole reason that humans would never act like that. To some, most of all those orcs themselves, orcs are a sort of elaborate theatre, a play acted out for the purpose of intimidation and little else. The hulking bodyguard, wielding a serrated sword, playing up his savage roots, adorned with bodypaint and piercings no wild orc has ever borne, stringing sheep teeth together to hint at a violence-riddled past, out there in the wilds. Who cares if any part of it is real? It intimidates the rabble, and it satisfies his employer: that much is enough. These understandings are incomplete. They inevitably hint at something: a place, out there, in the wilds, where normal people dare not go, some natural reservoir for orcs to spring from and return to, some rancid cave for them to sleep in, something to gesture at when questions of childcare and culture come up. Let me lie and say that yes, this is the place I will be explaining. But let me also speak the truth, and say it does not exist, and the place of my childhood is something infinitely more complex and interesting. A final word to those who doubt this book, and when asked why point towards my origins (perhaps having learned them only in the last paragraph): it is an universally acknowledged truth that there is wisdom in age. By the standards of humans, I am not old, nor will I ever be. But I am older than the oldest orcs, and have seen four of their generations die: if there is wisdom in their ways, as I believe there is, then trust me to have seen it, and to pass it on for your benefit. If you are still reading, I ask you only to continue, and to judge what you encounter on its own merits. Claim what you will about this writer: that this book proves her nature is orcish, is human, is neither, perhaps both somehow, but please, do not do the same cruelty to her words. Urzoth Rrugsjuk 953, year of the blue star

#worldbuilding #orcs #d&d #witnessing orcs #a bit of a prelude here #my stuff

[torireactstohdgstories]

Lost & Found by Darkfalli - Chapter 10 : Daybreak

Click here to see the story

"I really hoped that I explained it all correctly." Sounds correct enough to me x) To be fair, it must not be easy explaining something you remember only part of. Must feel like trying to tell a dream but even worse.

And also, it's something they didn't know was possible so now they're all worried. Imagine someone telling you their new antidepressants or insuline pump has a conscience.

Aw! Implant can talk to her and hug her mentally!

"I felt like a continuation of that gay girl. The same couldn't be said about the sad one." Hmmm, yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, it's good Evie feels happy now, but to feel like nothing but a continuation of a part of your past self sounds very extreme. I guess you're technically always a continuation of your past self, but you're supposed to feel like yourself, even if you keep changing all the time. Not sure if I'm clear right now.

"We mentally cuddled." I chuckled, that is so cute x)

"I'm going to need a little private time with you to make sure everything went smoothly and to get to know your implant." Oh? Is she going to use hypnosis to talk to Implant ?

Aw, we didn't get to see it...

XD I love Evie's surprise at her own face being the same Implant had in her dream.

Omg, Abies being a little shit and putting paint everywhere XD

"Art evolves and changes with us. Who we are when we start a piece and who we are when finishing one are often times worlds apart…" That's a lovely way to put it.

It's sweet that Evie is worried about Abies acting differently for her. And Implant is so cute when she gets all flustered from compliments !

It must be weird seeing yourself all drugged up when you don't feel it.

Holy crap, three weeks is a long time to be out.

Oh, she likes dresses! Me too! Dresses are the best! ^^

Huh, there's some objectification kink in there. I mean, Evie wants to be a robot doll so it makes sense.

Hah, I love how every time there is introspection it turns into Evie trying her best to flirt with Implant.

Must feel so nice, being bathed by someone else and touched all over ^^

Oh, aw, Implant is having trouble processing her first bath XDD Oh gosh, that is so cute.

Ew, lacy underwear. I mean, it is pretty to look at and I guess the Affini managed to make it comfortable somehow, but gods the ones irl are scratchy.

Omg her new dress sounds so freaking cute!

What does a companion dress look like anyway???? What's the specificity? What's the difference between a companion dress and a regular dress???? I can't seem to find a consensus anywhere.

*gasp!* The skirt goes swoosh! Those are the best!!!!

Aw, they're gonna sleep in a box because they are kitties!!

Okay, how do they manage to be this cute and fluffy and utdlhckpgufugd (yeah, I can do that too)

They're doing the body paint right away? Wow. I mean, no time like the present but it's still pretty fast. I'd need to plan an afternoon around it if I were to try that.

It's cute that Abies can give Implant orders out loud, but don't the Affini have other methods of doing that? Is it a way to acknowledge Implant as a sophont?

It's so cute that Abies shares what he's doing with the rest of their... I want to say family, that's what they feel like. They're a big complexe polycule but it's obvious how much they care about each other.

Anyway, that group chat? So sweet and relatable.

I wish I could see art of that painting!

He painted Implant??! Did not expect that! Wow! Aw, that's so sweet!

~

This was absolutely lovely, I really liked the painting scene. The way Evie's feelings are described is so nice, if a little wordy at times, but I like that kind of style. The way she feels so blissful being an object, being adorned and made into art, very intense and yet understandable. It reminds me of the rare times I allowed my sister or my friend to put makeup on me x) Ngl, I kinda want to try bodypainting after reading this x)

#lost & found #darkfalli #human domestication guide #hdg #story blogging

[lunacastiel]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog 💕

Random, okay, I can do random: 1. It feels much easier for me to understand animals than humans. 2. My hobbies, between reading and Supernatural, are creative makeup, bodypainting and Cosplay. My highlight with this was being at the top 20 of the NYX Face Awards Germany and I’m still very proud of it. 3. My hair is so long that it reaches under my butt. I want to cut it this year, to get it more into a shoulder long Sam haircut and donate the rest of it. I’m very excited about this and also a bit afraid, because I’m not used to having short hair, but donating it feels so right for me and I need something different. Thank you, I had fun doing this 💕

#lovely tumblr users #jellybracelet #personal stuff

[genzento]

No bodypaint isn't permanent silly. You just asked why bodypaint and i joked about edible paint instead. I'll see if i still have some bodypaint left. Could do it after we went to disneyland with the kids. When they are sleeping of course.

I had to imagine all of them painting the clusters in different colors... haha But sure, feel free to color me.

#kitty

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster Pt.1

Rio: Is anyone awake/alive in your room and do they want a coffee

Buster: I am, though I was considering going out for coffee before anybody else is awake/alive

Rio: I don’t think anyone else from last night is going to be up to facing town today

Rio: so I see the appeal

Buster: So come on, get ready to go with me

Rio: You don’t have to ask me and ruin your peace

Rio: barely out of your birthday, you have time to be spoilt yet, I won’t tell

Buster: It was more of a command, and since, as you just pointed out, it’s basically still my birthday, you aren’t entitled to refuse

Rio: Alright 😏 as I did entirely walk into that one

Rio: I’ll go try to find my things and hope they aren’t stuck under some dead/asleep girl

Buster: I could walk back into my costume if you require any more convincing than that, there isn’t exactly much to it, I’d beat you in the race for first even with the head start I’ve given

Buster: Finders keepers, it means you may well luck out on your own shit but Nancy’s remains up for grabs

Rio: You certainly could but I don’t think you could then walk out of the front door, not in the daylight

Rio: Good thing I already lost the wig, a few designer items is one thing, can’t have her thinking I want to take her life

Buster: A dare if I’ve ever heard one

Buster: I’m relieved, yeah, not the plus one I invited

Rio: Obviously, though it’d be as much of one to be seen out with you so can’t say I’m not playing fair

Rio: Yeah, she mentioned you weren’t friends right now, repeatedly

Buster: I can say it’d be an honour and a privilege for you to be seen out with me in any state of dress or undress, with a straight face and everything

Buster: and that of course we aren’t friends, we never have been, she’s my sister, it’s a different category entirely

Rio: It isn’t your straight face anyone would be thinking about

Rio: That we can agree on though, entirely different and much more complicated

Buster: Or looking at, I know

Buster: Last night she made things very uncomplicated, simple, in fact

Rio: Sheer dumb luck

Rio: I can be glad for you, whilst I work up to faking I am for her

Buster: Hard work combined with a genetic lottery

Buster: Are you sure? You weren’t up to your usual standard of deception when I last saw you

Rio: Deception makes it sound sordid

Rio: Turning up to a party to be a bitch to the hostess might be standard here but it’s not really my style

Buster: Obviously, I chose it to make everything sound less boring than it was at the time and yet again is as we relive it in your previously mentioned daylight

Rio: Well, it could’ve just been your bodypaint reflecting off the lights

Rio: but now you’ve confirmed otherwise, you didn’t exactly look thrilled yourself, when I last saw you

Buster: Because I wasn’t, babe, and what do I have to gain by keeping that a secret from you, then or now

Rio: Nothing, of course

Rio: you were the birthday boy, you understand my surprise at the state of affairs

Buster: Not really, given that the state of affairs were a joint party with my twin who couldn’t have been more thrilled by said event and a problem which isn’t shared can’t be halved, so unfortunately it was only the limelight that was

Rio: She’s always been more easily pleased

Rio: Sorry your birthday was shit, though

Buster: She isn’t playing with a full deck, intellectually, it stands to reason

Buster: whereas I am, and as a result, I’ll have many more birthdays she isn’t going to be capable of ruining

Rio: I can toast to that, with a coffee, the bottle that your sister is cradling doesn’t look appealing

Buster: Water or an empty glass is bad luck, coffee shouldn’t make things any worse than they already are, I don’t think

Rio: It’d be fucked up if I accidentally cursed you

Rio: will have to double check, not fancying risking it myself

Buster: Get in touch with grandad, it’s his job to be an expert

Rio: I know he would’ve called you yesterday, the hangover today is practically compulsory and you’d be in no fit state to chat shit with then

Buster: Arguably, I’d be in a better state for it, but I don’t have a hangover because it wasn’t my 30th

Rio: If he wanted a properly captive audience, perhaps

Rio: You know what I mean, you aren’t as rough as you should be

Buster: Neither are you, especially after being forced to act as Nancy’s captive audience, oblivion was deserved and owed to you

Rio: I must’ve been in the bathroom when it was handed out, I don’t know

Buster: You know, but don’t worry, I won’t in turn force you to tell me

Rio: If it was the usual sob story, I would, you could delight in my tragic love life

Buster: Wrong twin, I’d take no delight in hearing about your boyfriends, ex or otherwise

Rio: Delight, torture, it’s a fine line

Rio: but there’s nothing to report

Buster: Report how much longer you’re going to keep me waiting instead, there’s an equally fine line for anticipation

Rio: You’re impatient, therefore blatantly single

Buster: I’m always single

Rio: I know but it’d be presumptuous to not indulge in the catching-up chitchat we didn’t have time for last night

Buster: Small talk is just that, it limits

Rio: So be generous and give me 10 more minutes and we can talk big

Buster: 5 minutes

Rio: Suit yourself, it’s your honour on the line when you have to be seen with me

Buster: Suit yourself if you aren’t going to even try with a counter offer of 7

Rio: 7 ½ is what I’d ask for

Buster: So ask

Rio: Or I just take 7 ½ minutes, and you can’t even be mad because you were expecting me to take 10

Buster: I wouldn’t be mad, I’d be proactive and come find you

Rio: See, now I know any threat to leave without me is empty, could take 15

Buster: The threat, were I to make one, would be that I’d carry you downstairs, ready or not

Rio: That does sound awful

Buster: Don’t take 15 and you won’t need to find out

Rio: Noted 

Buster: [A location he wants to take her to for this date] stops serving breakfast at [a time like midday which it is nowhere near rn we’re just saying it to be sassy]

Rio: Omg, hi grandad! 😘

Buster: I’d happily go with him if he was around, as it stands, you’ll have to do

Rio: [come downstairs, so you’re not taking 15 minutes here]

Buster: [taking her wrist when she’s on the last step as if he has to literally drag her out of this house because she’s so reluctant and has been taking a thousand years but we know why really]

Rio: [dramatically gasp like you are about to fall down this last step and he’s gonna let you hit the deck because likewise]

Buster: [obvs steadying her as dramatically like she is falling/gonna without his help because simply must]

Rio: [shaking our head so we don’t just LOOK at you without saying or doing anything here]

Buster: [not at all basically pushing her up against the front door because it’s saucy af, ONLY because y’all gotta go rn immediately of course]

Rio: [making excuse me kind of noises and whipping around to face him so your back is against said front door, brushing some bodypaint remnant off his neck, rubbing it between your fingers and tutting like see ‘impatient’]

Buster: [you have no reason to be touching her back, sir, but we all know damn well he’s touching her hair like so so glad this wig hasn’t made a reappearance, despite the fact you’ve already said as much and she’s already said it’s lost + a look like you too because she didn’t leave it the 15 mins so clearly wants to go too]

Rio: [rolling your eyes in amusement, as if we’re not also bright red, knowing he’s thinking about said wig ‘I was not dyeing my hair, not even for your 18ths’ pluralizing as if we remotely would for Nancy ever, reach back and open this door, clearly have to prove you can maintain eye contact nbd]

Buster: [‘Save it for my 21st’ with the same amused vibe about her pulling a retro Rihanna as we can’t dwell on how hot or not that would be as a move rn, deliberately not including Nancy’s bday in this because he’s too done to share another birthday party with her but more importantly because we all know you weren’t making costume effort for her, it goes without saying that he’s also maintaining said eye contact while he’s using his body weight and their ridiculous proximity to push her through the then open door]

Rio: [‘I’ll try to remember, if it’s a birthday command’ like oh okay birthday boy ‘if I’m not [wherever Nancy has already said she wants to go for her 21st, probably skiing or some posh nonsense]’ a look like God help me, nudging him back as he’s pushing you through the door, not hard enough to stop him but just because]

Buster: [‘I’ll let her be the one to waste her birthday privileges’ because what a flop move Nancy as per, he isn’t gonna ask this gal to book into a hair salon of all the things he could demand lol, giving her his own look that’s v unimpressed + reinforces could never be me, with a shrug that we’re also using to push her back a little bit] 

Rio: [a noise like yeah, that sounds like her ‘more concerned about mine now’ like excuse me, my own 18th to care about first, walking forward so you stop touching each other for no reason]

Buster: [‘What are you doing, if you’re not [stealing Nancy’s 21st idea to piss her off but doing it less basic because you’re not a flop, gal]’ gotta act like we’re only asking the question to shade Nancy/encourage you to steal her thunder and not because we’re interested/want an invite] 

Rio: [looking at him like because that’s feasible ‘my friends aren’t paying to get pissed up a mountain’ not giving you a response ‘cos we’d still be with the boyfriend who dumps us for OFs in a while, so clearly doing something with him]

Buster: [‘their loss’ but sarcastically because obvs we don’t think it’s a peak fun time either, he’s a sporty boy if he was there he’d ski, sis] 

Rio: [‘tell me about it’ like we’re devastated too and couldn’t think of a million better things to do ‘cold enough at home by my birthday’]

Buster: [telling her about when you have been skiing because of course you have as if she’s really asking ‘Don’t pick a party theme involving costumes and you’ll be fine’ dangerous to remember what you were both wearing last night but he shamelessly is thinking about that mermaid fit, how could he not be] 

Rio: [‘it’s like being chatted up last night all over again’ ‘cos I dread to think the quality of that chat lol; likewise now thinking about that don’t mind us]

Buster: [gotta lol at what she said though so it’s not blatant he’s fuming about her being chatted up by all those flops, don’t wanna think about that, thank you] 

Rio: [‘why’d you fall out then?’ getting back in step with him, gesturing like beside the obvious because we all know what she’s like]

Buster: [‘Didn’t she tell you?’ with a tone that makes it clear we find it impossible to believe she wouldn’t have because she’s that bitch who loves to both overshare and complain/play the victim and feel well hard done by even though she’s actually in the wrong] 

Rio: [‘it weren’t exactly… transparent’ because god knows what she said, if it was true, if it made any sense, we’re not going by that, an eyebrow raise to convey this]

Buster: [‘It never is’ because if she’s not a drunken mess she’s a dyslexic one and it isn’t that she’s trying to be a Taylor style mastermind, or it’s all of those] 

Rio: [a noise like yeah, fairplay ‘don’t usually bother you though’ looking up at him]

Buster: [‘doesn’t it?’ looking at her like are you sure about that, because it definitely does and has always wound him up lol] 

Rio: [doing the ehh hand wave thing ‘alright, you wouldn’t let it ruin your good time then’]

Buster: [‘Well, last night she went too far’ because you did hun] 

Rio: [just looking at him, concerned because genuinely]

Buster: [giving her a look back to get across that we don’t wanna talk about the James of it all because the Chlo of it all is also linked to that and he wants to go there even less] 

Rio: [obviously not pushing it because not the move, shrugging it off like okay, I understand]

Buster: [‘Do you want to talk about what ruined yours?’ because she wasn’t having a good time either, we know] 

Rio: [‘it weren’t your mates or choice of soundtrack’ like I was in a shit mood before I arrived, don’t worry]

Buster: [‘I know’ cos you can’t tell me he didn’t notice her arrive and that she was already not in the mood] 

Rio: [not being so buzzing on the low he noticed you and you can’t help but smile a little]

Buster: [Do some walking hun before this turns into any more of a moment because he’s likewise not gonna force her into having a heart to heart rn]

Rio: [you don’t need to do all that now, you can get to wherever you’re going ‘we’re not doing takeout, are we?’ because 1. We don’t want to 2. Imagine trying to guess every straggler's coffee order, no tah]

Buster: [‘No’ with an almost hilarious amount of feeling there because he doesn’t want to either, the whole point was getting out of the house and leaving those flops behind]

Rio: [the noise equivalent of ‘good’ without actually saying the word, just perusing the baked goods casually]

Buster: [he is 1000% the sort of bitch to order for himself and her without consulting her about it, soz gal, thank god you aren’t the total strangers you pretend to be and he does know enough about you that you won’t totally hate his pick]

Rio: [it’s the sort of thing we’re SO into, even if we have to protest otherwise in amusement for the look of the thing ‘are you always like this?’ 😏 as we’re finding the best spot in this cafe for some privacy and cosy vibes, definitely claiming the armchairs/sofa moment with the coffee table instead of a table, tucking our feet up beneath us]

Buster: [‘Like what exactly?’ as you don’t know full well, sir, was gonna sit him opposite her for the eye contact opportunities but we always do that and if anyone would sit unnecessarily close to her for no reason, he would, so be next to her on this sofa]

Rio: [just looking down at the lack of space between y’all now like yeah, you know what boy ‘an observation, not an insult’]

Buster: [‘Then yeah, I am’ because even though the answer is closer to a no in terms of y’all’s vibe we’re projecting that this is who we always are, of course, besides he is always the arrogant bitch who thinks he knows best hence ordering for you whether you like it or not lol]

Rio: [‘take what you can get, huh’ like very the family motto of you, I see ‘you want me to distract you from your problems with mine then?’ with a OTT sigh like let’s do this]

Buster: [‘No, but I thought you might want to take what you can, like I said earlier, a problem shared is a problem halved, allegedly’ as if you’re the last person on earth she’d want to talk to about anything but y’all have to make do]

Rio: [‘as we’re both here’ with a ‘what else would we possibly do?’ tone ‘it’s a long story though’ pushing his drink towards him as it’s laid on the table by the barista, like you’ll need this, casually brushing your fingers against his before moving your hand away to take your own drink]

Buster: [nod as he takes it because you don’t have anywhere else to be and rushing back home is the last thing either of you feel like doing, cheersing with your drink and hers and taking a drink of whatever espresso based concoction I’m sure he chose]

Rio: [likewise drink some of your own drink before getting into this because not going to kick up a fuss and we obviously like whatever you picked anyway ‘it’s not like you should need three guesses, even now’ like it’s obviously a family thing, you know that much about me]

Buster: [‘I didn’t realise you were waiting for me to guess’ because he’s also that bitch who’d think he could get guess right on the first try, even though in this instance you definitely could not, boy]

Rio: [tut like no, give me a minute, sir ‘if you found out something that could really screw over-’ stopping because Nancy is not going to work for this analogy right now ‘-Ava, or your mum, would you tell them, when if they didn’t find out, they’d carry on being okay?’]

Buster: [‘How okay can they be if they’re being kept out of the loop on something that could screw them over? Something like that, they deserve to know. Not to mention, if I found out about it there’s a chance somebody else could, it would always be better coming from me’]

Rio: [shake your head ‘no one else is going to find out, not in this case’]

Buster: [‘If you can seriously guarantee that, and it’d do more harm telling them, maybe don’t’]

Rio: [nod like yeah ‘that’s the conclusion I reached too, it didn’t make my mood any better, though’]

Buster: [‘It won’t, it’ll eat you up inside, knowing they do still deserve to know’ very comforting boy, thanks so much]

Rio: [a look like oh, great ‘well, that’s brilliant, Buster’]

Buster: [‘I’m not going to lie to you, who does that help?’]

Rio: [do a little lol like ‘me, maybe, boy’]

Buster: [‘If you already can’t handle this you’ll crack and tell them, maybe at the worst possible time, so you’d both be better off telling them while you’re still relatively sane’ again, very nice of you]

Rio: [giving him a nudge like oi ‘I haven’t lost it yet, I’m not going to, thanks very much’ thinking about how long you were stalked and kept that to yourself]

Buster: [‘Good, don’t’ because that’d be BAD and nobody wants it to be a thing, not even this boy who pretends he cares not for most of this fam rn]

Rio: [‘is that the extent of the pep talk?’ like was expecting a bit more from you, bants]

Buster: [‘you just told me you don’t need one’]

Rio: [‘you can redeem yourself’ gesturing like off you go lol]

Buster: [‘wrong twin’ like excuse you I’m not the evil one]

Rio: [‘I had noticed’ like you’re not as bad company, nudging you in a nicer way this time]

Buster: [share something you’re breakfasting on here to prove how nice you are, boy]

Rio: [no need to make eye contact as you eat this food and yet here we are]

Buster: [you definitely don’t need to but here he also is, hence a beat before he speaks and says ‘I have loads of actually insane girls in my messages, if you ever need somewhere to vent, I probably won’t even see it’ because he can’t just be like you can talk to me if you need to xx ILY so there’s that]

Rio: [‘oh tah, I’ll take a look’ putting your hand out for his phone like let’s go but then carry on breakfasting]

Buster: [‘It wouldn’t make you feel any better’ because true, these girls are grim and not what he meant so not gonna hand his phone over ever lol]

Rio: [‘I’ve seen worse’ like your texts and DMs will be no worse than mine boy, but obviously not expecting you to actually show us]

Buster: [‘of course you have’ because she’s a hot girl so blatantly, but with the tone of that’s not the point]

Rio: [looking at him like ? because we missed the point tbh]

Buster: [a lil headshake because like he said this isn’t gonna cheer either of y’all when you can pretend that you’re both not v attractive instead]

Rio: [raising a brow ‘cos we don’t get it but okay, not something we need to push ‘can’t all be bad’ lowkey implying you saw him talking to some girls last night]

Buster: [a look like if you say so because can neither confirm or deny they all suck]

Rio: [‘charmer’ 😏 because we know they’re all flops, we’ve got eyes and ears]

Buster: [‘you’ve met worse’ because we know your boyfriend/past boyfriends you’ve had is a/are flops I’m sure]

Rio: [‘understatement’ because not about to deny that]

Buster: [absolutely have to order something else she gets no say in to really make that point her exes/current bf aren’t it, excuse us]

Rio: [‘you aren’t going to let me get anything in, are you?’]

Buster: [‘You shouldn’t need 3 guesses’ because no he isn’t lol]

Rio: [smile so big shamelessly ‘cos you don’t know what else to do or say]

Buster: [do your own smile back because that shit is infectious and you’re not a psychopath but not as big]

Rio: [‘It’s Liam and Edie’ blurt that out so you don’t something else]

Buster: [obviously he wasn’t expecting to be told that and he was expecting it to be about them even less because they are such a happy couple rn and lowkey always, but he can keep the !! off his face because he’s that bitch, blatantly trying to work out what’s occurring because she said nobody is gonna find out so it can’t be a cheating scandal or something like that]

Rio: [‘Liam, actually’ attempting to make that make more sense when you see his face, however briefly the confusion is there, ‘cos you know that was out of nowhere ‘it was years ago’ sounds like you slept with him now]

Buster: [having a drink/food pause while he tries to work out what the hell she means there because doesn’t believe Rio would’ve slept with Liam, she’s not that bitch ‘But you found out recently’ because clearly so not a ?]

Rio: [nodding, spinning her mug on the table ‘it took a while to work everything out, be sure, not that I am, it’s still so…’ trailing off ‘cos what even]

Buster: [the way he reaches out when she’s spinning that mug and just puts his hand on her wrist because of course he does, it’s obvious she’s upset before she’s even said anything, and then doing like a reassuring thumb sweep when she says what she does]

Rio: [doing the thing where you wipe your eyes like I’m fine, I’m fine, even though you’re not actually crying or anything that dramatic right now ‘I used to get these weird messages, started the summer before we turned 13, lasted about 2 years’ doing a deep breath ‘cos it is a long story and you’ve never had to tell it before ‘knowing where I was, what I was doing, that sort of thing’]

Buster: [‘Until they got together’ because it doesn’t take a genius to work out with her literally telling him the timeline]

Rio: [‘in hindsight, it’s all obvious, that’s the point’ because exactly]

Buster: [‘obvious isn’t the word’ because nobody would see this coming]

Rio: [‘yeah, it started and ended on his birthday, worked it out’ shrugging like it’s not a big deal]

Buster: [‘his birthday?’ because that’s a weird detail, soz Liam]

Rio: [‘I kept the messages’ because yeah, we don’t know why either but that’s when we got this surprise message, which we’re finding to show him now ‘there’s not been any since’]

Buster: [Reading all these messages, simply must ‘What the fuck’ basically under his breath while he is because how wild and not at all where he thought this convo would go]

Rio: [‘I know’ because we’re still processing this ‘his sister died’ because doesn’t take a genius to work out the why, even though we don’t know why us]

Buster: [likewise trying to process this ‘We don’t know if he’s better now’ because that was mentally ill behaviour Liam, we can’t pretend otherwise, soz hun, and only Edie is gonna be the one in the know with the true tea if he’s well or NOT WELL these days]

Rio: [‘it’d been years, I’d forgotten’ we definitely hadn’t forgotten but we weren’t actively thinking about it, is what we really mean ‘I mean, he never did anything really weird’ by which we mean something sexual ‘cos what we assume and what the vibe is with random internet weirdos]

Buster: [‘this is weird, babe’ gesturing at her phone because it is]

Rio: [‘yeah but-’ and just looking at him because don’t want to admit the fact Edie wouldn’t side with us, if we brought it up, but you know, we all know that much]

Buster: [looking back at her because it goes without saying he understands all of that which she was communicating with her look, nevertheless, gotta say ‘But there’s no time limit on grief, his sister’s still dead and he’s with yours’ because it’s a valid point, y’all don’t know if he’s doing different weird shit now to cope, we know he isn’t but]

Rio: [shaking your head so hard like no no ‘she’d not put up with that’ because now we’re clearly thinking the worst, however sure we’re trying to sound]

Buster: [‘With what though? We have no idea where her line is or how close he is to crossing it with whatever he could be using as a new coping mechanism since he stopped doing all this’ because you don’t or what’s going on behind closed doors either, obvs]

Rio: [‘don’t make me change my mind when I’ve just made it up’ like oh my God, because we’re back into the rock and a hard place we were before we’d made up our mind last night and were then in a sad af mood]

Buster: [‘They’ve got a kid together’ because as close as he’ll ever get to outright being like maybe I was wrong to say you shouldn’t tell her, it’s okay, sir you didn’t have all the info then, you’re allowed to change your decision]

Rio: [‘exactly’ because that works both ways]

Buster: [look at her because yeah okay also valid]

Rio: [resting your head on his shoulder like ffs because literally]

Buster: [‘we’ll figure it out’ idk how you will, boy, but it’s your vibe to say that and mean it]

Rio: [‘yeah?’ quietly, still on your shoulder]

Buster: [‘yeah’ with all the conviction ever because he’s a child of baze so of course, proactive forever and always]

Rio: [eventually,lift your head up and smooth your clothes and hair down ‘sorry’ patting his shoulder where your head just was for the unspoken thank you too]

Buster: [‘Don’t be’ again really sincerely because she’s got nothing to apologise for remotely, she doesn’t need the help fixing her hair or clothes but he is for that excuse to touch her, we all know it]

Rio: [‘so I look shit’ but the way we’re saying it and giving you !! eye contact about it changes the vibe entirely]

Buster: [shaking his head without breaking that eye contact for a single second]

Rio: [‘one thing out of this weekend’ not really specifying what you mean there but could be as innocent as at least I’m still slaying]

Buster: [order her another coffee like that’ll also make things better but we all know the reality is you wanna stay here longer and it’s probably the sort of place that they’d chuck you out if you’re loitering]

Rio: [‘gonna be buzzing again’ because I’m sure you both got some level of high last night, even though neither of you were smashed, coke isn’t like that]

Buster: [‘you’re welcome’ because you’ll need it to deal with Nancy’s bs because you can’t just leave without being like hi and bye babes]

Rio: [‘I owe you, more like’ because I’m sure you didn’t get him a present ‘cos you’re not meant to have a clue what he might want and Ali as their auntie would’ve got something from y’all, obviously]

Buster: [‘course you don’t’ shout out to whatever present you got Alison, love you]

Rio: [nod like yes I do ‘not got to return the favour’]

Buster: [‘you can owe me for the new skis when you unwrap them on your birthday and return them the day after’ because bants bants]

Rio: [loling ‘better fucking not’ like there’d go my excuse for not going]

Buster: [‘What do you want? I know it’s not only [whatever baze are sending, realistically either money or gift cards cos they are rich and busy]’ when you know she’s a sentimental bitch who likes feelsy gifts not just a materialistic one]

Rio: [‘I could send you my list’ for the bants but we’re also not going to ask for anything seriously because we’d feel bad about not getting you anything now ‘Had to get Nance [some perfume or something]’ because she invited you]

Buster: [‘Or you could just think of something right now’ not at all subtle move to get you to think about something else that isn’t the Liam of it all]

Rio: [‘Don’t you like surprises?’]

Buster: [‘Oh okay, you’d rather I surprise you’ as if she’s doing her own not at all subtle hint there lol]

Rio: [an expression like not going to say no, even though we’re sure you won’t really ‘obviously’]

Buster: [‘noted’ because I’m definitely gonna have to get him to send you a bday present whatever you’re doing to celebrate, he’s that bitch]

Rio: [‘come on’ pulling on his hand but not actually getting up, like I need to take you shopping immediately now]

Buster: [amused, acting as if he’s gonna arrange for that 2nd coffee he ordered them to be a take out one like okay then]

Rio: [‘it’s barely belated if we hurry’ because we have been briefly distracted here so well done]

Buster: [when you’re for real tempted to actually go because she’s so cute about this]

Rio: [‘you didn’t get nothing what you wanted last night’]

Buster: [‘you don’t have to take it upon yourself to redeem my shit 18th’]

Rio: [shrug ‘I could’ like don’t get it twisted honey]

Buster: [😏 because the ego has amused him but also there’s no lie detected, she easily could]

Rio: [folding her arms like believe me boy, faux grumpy]

Buster: [putting some food into her mouth like a heathen but gotta as if she needs cheering up that badly]

Rio: [👁👄👁 for real because any response would be INAPPROPRIATE] 

Buster: [literally gonna have to say they bring that 2nd coffee to y’all’s table rn because I don’t trust this boy]

Rio: [distraction o’clock thank you kindly barista, swallow that food and move yourself away slightly]

Buster: [at least you can thank said barista for bringing that because your drink would be too hot to take a sip of and I do need you to hush atm sir]

Rio: [me like remember you’re meant to be sad miss ma’am ‘so-’ clearing your throat ‘I should tell her?’]

Buster: [think about this logically please and don’t just answer rashly ‘Wouldn’t you want to know?’]

Rio: [trying to imagine but you don’t have a child with anyone and haven’t had a relationship that serious ‘only if he was doing anything to me’]

Buster: [‘She won’t tell you if he is until you talk about what he did to you’ because true Edie’s not just gonna be like guess what everyone Liam’s a right weirdo because x y z out of nowhere]

Rio: [bite your lip, nod because yes, that is true]

Buster: [‘But I understand the urge to believe his fucked up behaviour towards you is the beginning and end of it’ because it’s not like he wants Edie to be in peril here either]

Rio: [‘there’s no signs’ just thinking out loud because obviously we have never considered this until this bombshell ‘could be overreacting’]

Buster: [‘It spanned years though’ like are we overreacting because that is not at all casual and in fact a lot Liam]

Rio: [‘he was a kid’ not really enough of an excuse but ‘maybe I upset him’]

Buster: [‘so were you, what could you have possibly done to warrant any of it?’]

Rio: [‘maybe I overstepped, was too much?’ re. being nice to his sister and then his grief after]

Buster: [‘No, Rio’ using her name for the first time because it’s important she listens since she’s not that OTT bitch and we all know it]

Rio: [a yeah well sort of noise but we’re not going to insist ‘cos not dying for that to be true]

Buster: [‘it wasn’t your fault’ pulling her gently by both wrists as he turns his body so y’all are facing each other and close af again, in the same manner of listen to me this is important ‘However he reacted to you sending your condolences, that’s all you were doing, you didn’t do anything wrong, you did a kind thing’]

Rio: [properly look at him and take this in, whether or not you fully agree with what he’s saying doesn’t matter, you’re still hearing it and taking it in ‘I don’t understand it if he’s doing it again now though’ because what if he did fully start again, thankfully not]

Buster: [‘I don’t understand why he did it in the first place, our parents have a dead sister and they didn’t immediately start stalking anyone’ True but all the mcvickers kids are ridiculously codependent af and weird as we know and probably shouldn’t be used as a good example lol]

Rio: [shrug ‘Grief isn’t always rational, is it’ because Joe is also there as an example of losing it, at least from everyone else’s POV]

Buster: [his own shrug because you do have a point there, you can’t apply rational thought to this, lads and if we are being evil giving baze another baby after the twins and before Ava who died, I’m sure they haven’t always behaved rationally about it, the point being regardless that y’all have already seen different examples of it and know it’s different for everybody ‘I said as much myself before, but that doesn’t give him a free pass to treat you like that and then start a new life with Edie as if he didn’t do any of it’]

Rio: [‘I’m just going to have to get over it though’ because yeah, what can you do but at this point, push your drink away like this is a meeting and it’s over]

Buster: [‘Bullshit, however happy they are, or aren’t, now, he used you and your sister to get there, you have to tell her that’ because he’s not having that]

Rio: [‘Isn’t that what everyone does?’ sans the stalking element being conveyed with a ‘you know what I’m saying’ wave of the hand]

Buster: [‘No’ because he can’t just casually put aside the stalking element here when he thinks it’s not at all at coincidence that Edam is together now ‘she needs to know calculated it all is’]

Rio: [‘surely if it was calculated, it’d be me not her?’ sounds arrogant but I understand your point ‘why didn’t he try to get with me?’ we know full well you don’t have the answers to that question either but telling Edie is such an uncomfortable prospect we’re doing anything to avoid it being reality rn]

Buster: [‘You’re out of his league’ said so matter of factly here it makes me cackle because this boy is acting like Liam is fugly instead of looking how he does, but I get it you think he’s v strange and that Rio is perfect so ‘not to mention on totally different wavelengths’ because true Edam have so much in common meaning y’all don’t at all, and nobody could accuse Liam of faking that for all this time to get with Edie because why and yeah if he was gonna fake a personality he’d try and do it for Rio]

Rio: [doing a ‘ha!’ like no I’m not ‘so he stalked us both and worked out she was more interesting?’ pausing for a sec then doing another shrug like sounds legit ‘not great for building my confidence but alright, sure’]

Buster: [‘Interesting isn’t the word’ because no thank you ‘available is’ not trying to call her a slag but he knows damn well that she would’ve not been without a bf during that time]

Rio: [‘not a save you need to make’ like it’s alright ‘point is, he clearly actually loves her’]

Buster: [‘It doesn’t change the fact he coupled with her for the wrong reasons initially’]

Rio: [put your head in your hands and do a big sigh because yeah ‘for fuck’s sake’ under our breath]

Buster: [putting an arm around her cos so soz this sucks and he’s the kind of bitch who has to say this and not just hush]

Rio: [sit yourself back up and shake it off because never trying to be this much of a downer ‘can’t do anything ‘til I’m home so don’t worry’]

Buster: [push her drink she pushed away back towards her like you might as well drink this then]

Rio: [cheers him again like that’s the vibe]

Buster: [take a drink and a sec because that was a lot of info to take in]

Rio: [raising our brows like I know ‘so many people I thought it was I need to apologise to now’ like adding this to the to-do-when-home list]

Buster: [‘no you don’t, you wouldn’t have suspected them for no reason’ like they must’ve been doing some shady shit/not been very good friends etc to be on the list in the first place]

Rio: [‘it makes you a bit paranoid, obviously’ like idk, it’s not like you can rely on what you think, that’s sort of the point]

Buster: [‘Obviously, that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a point distrusting those specific people’ because he doesn’t actually think she’s lost her mind then or now]

Rio: [do a half smile at him ‘you’re cute, and I’m not having a breakdown so you don’t have to be nice’]

Buster: [‘I’m not being nice, your boyfriends have just given you such ridiculously low standards that you think I am’]

Rio: [shaking your head like not going to address that lol ‘nicer than you usually are, I meant’]

Buster: [‘I’m not having a breakdown either so you can keep your backhanded compliments’ more amused than annoyed though]

Rio: [‘I’m always nice’ like excuse you, this is normal for me, but we’re also amused]

Buster: [‘I’ll remind you you said always when we get back’ because being nice to Nancy this am will be a trial 😏]

Rio: [😬 ‘I might go hit the town instead’ like you’re right, that sounds awful]

Buster: [he’s clearly joking but telling her what shops to hit for his bday present she owes him]

Rio: [‘you can pay for the car I send it back in’ like okay but I am NOT coming back]

Buster: [just nod like okay cos you know he would]

Rio: [‘don’t let any of your friends take it when they head’]

Buster: [‘Don’t do yourself down’ like she’s dragging herself and her gifting for that to happen because none of his friends have any taste because rich people don’t lol]

Rio: [folding your arms like you’re fuming ‘because it’ll be a gift worth stealing, boy’]

Buster: [a look like not to them, girl, they only want flop things]

Rio: [‘I’m not just avoiding Nance’ like yeah, I’ve met them all]

Buster: [‘me either’ because agreed]

Rio: [‘you should go do something today that you actually want to too’ tilting your head to the side ‘go on, what do you want to do, anything on the table’]

Buster: [tell her about whatever plans you’ve already made whether that’s football or boxing or whatever because he’s that kind of person who is always busy with something 24\7 but adding ‘If anything was on the table, it goes without saying I’d leave London, I envy you that option’]

Rio: [‘Too bad we can’t swap that easily without notice’ because we’re not trying to rush home now ‘Christmas break before you know it though’]

Buster: [‘Coward’s way out’ are you trying to convince/comfort yourself or her or both of y’all there, boy, cos good luck lol ‘Yeah, blink and it’s your birthday instead of mine’ because they are pretty close together tbf]

Rio: [‘you’re always alright’ tapping your hand that’s holding your mug against his ‘be so busy studying this whole school year’ do a little smirk like oh you nerd ‘meanwhile I do have a party of my own to plan, yeah’]

Buster: [‘Not so busy I’ll forget to send your present, don’t worry’ returning the smirk ‘I’ve already decided what I’m buying you’ because of course he has]

Rio: [doing the thing where you’re mid-sip so all you can do is widen your eyes dramatically and put said drink down with as much haste ‘you have to let me go then or you’ll be getting your present on my birthday instead’ as if he’s distracting you to cheat at this non-competition]

Buster: [‘I wouldn’t open it until Christmas’ like nice try but I simply refuse to steal your bday thunder]

Rio: [‘wrong twin, right?’ like I’m catching on]

Buster: [‘Exactly’ because yep Nancy so would and we all know it]

Rio: [‘the obligatory invite you’d both have to have is a good advert for not having a party’ lumping you in like it’s not blatant you’d be absolutely fine having him there lol]

Buster: [‘Granted, it’s too late to accuse her of stalking you, but there’s plenty of other plausible reasons to fall out with her, and time to’ acting like it’s so bants and oh Nancy vibes but he’s fuming at her for the James stuff so]

Rio: [can definitely tell it’s more deep than her just generally being a messy nuisance but to push looks like you just want gossip and we don’t want that being assumed, just nodding and mm-ing like so true ‘no chance of her following you to whatever uni you end up getting into’ all the shade, soz girl]

Buster: [‘Unless she played the disability card for a pity place’ because they sure did treat dyslexia like one when I went to uni and you definitely would play on it if you did wanna go, thankfully she does not ‘fortunately, there’s bound to be a bare minimum required even of those students that’d put her off’ because we know what you’re like, sis, all the deserved shade]

Rio: [‘Whatever one [reel off her besties names, not caring if they’re right or just posh girl stereotypes] pick, is more likely’ we know you’ve peaked and would wanna try and ride that wave as long as you could but you’re defs 1st year dropout vibes, as if I can talk lmao ‘of course you know exactly what you want already’ because the least surprising thing]

Buster: [Defs amused at the posh girl stereotype names that are too accurate for these gals ‘Come on, what’s the most likely is they’ll hate her long before then’ because tea, you’ll never stay friends with them for that length of time, you’ve blatantly got a new bestie every 5 secs hun ‘I always have, you know that about me’ we’ll all try not to get into that double meaning even though he’s obvs giving EYE CONTACT as he says it]

Rio: [when you can’t be blushing about University plans so you just have to act like you’re holding your tongue sassing Nancy any harder and that has you flustered, not believable but there we go, you tried ‘if you’d changed that much…’ because you’ve always been that boy ‘I know what I want, just not entirely sure Uni needs to or does feature in that’ because obviously we have our plans that can be put into motion on our bday]

Buster: [‘I’m glad you haven’t changed that much yourself’ because she’s that bitch too it’s why y’all end up being a power couple like his parents are despite doing it very differently ‘sitting here and holding my tongue isn’t who I am or ever have much chance of becoming’ because he wouldn’t be about it if you were a flop and he’d have to let you know, soz]

Rio: [‘Who would I change for?’ For the bants of I’m incredible and everyone loves me so much, gesturing at ourselves like hello; but there’s also the unspoken realness of that being a necessity for him and us being aware of that ‘you can think and say whatever you want but money talks louder, babe’]

Buster: [do a final cheers before you finish this coffee because she is incredible and money does talk she’s not wrong there either]

Rio: [cheers him back and after a beat ‘when do you have to go [boxing/football/whatever]?’ casually like when are you leaving but not at all]

Buster: [shoutout to the Rolex he gives her because he’s checking it rn and obvs answering her, I doubt he has to rush off because he never has to rush anywhere he’s always sorted schedule wise]

Rio: [‘point me in the right direction then?’ gesturing to the door like show me where you shop for my gifting trip]

Buster: [there is no need or excuse for this boy to literally get up and take her to these shops himself but we all know that’s what’s happening, not at all casually expecting her to follow him like come on]

Rio: [obviously we are like lead the way]

Buster: [we’re doing it, you both need the distraction and deserve a nice time]

Rio: [we’re not sorry, you can only bop in an entirely platonic way around these shops]

Buster: [I’m not sorry that I’m imagining a really cute and cliche shopping montage rn]

Rio: [y’all would be having a lovely time, no reason not to and no one to stop you, even if Nancy was awake by now, she would be annoying the people still hanging around the baze gaff]

Buster: [Just his sporty boy plans that he’ll be gutted to have to leave for at some point too soon]

Rio: [we’re not at all devvo’d, nope]

Buster: [Likewise, but you can’t cancel your plans and admit you wanna stay, sir, y’all aren’t there yet]

Rio: [and you can’t invite yourself so you stay shopping and act like you have no interest in anything otherwise]

Buster: [Hang in there lads, we’ve gotta cockblock you for now but it will soon be Christmas and we’ll get the moments going again lol]

Rio: [for now, a match time or thereabouts later]

Rio: Did you win?

Buster: I don’t lose

Buster: Did you buy me [a pisstake on whatever perfume she had to buy Nancy]?

Rio: Do you think I was doing my best work there?

Buster: You were doing what you were told, as per, best behaviour

Rio: She knows what she wants, I suppose

Buster: It’s a shame you didn't decide to surprise her with something she wouldn’t 

Rio: A shame for you

Buster: Us both, it’d be as good for you in the long run

Rio: How so?

Buster: You don’t need me to tell you you’d be better off on her bad side than you would as her best friend

Rio: I’m not her best friend, or going to be

Buster: I know that, but you could do more to make it obvious how much you’d prefer not to be, she’ll always need the clues

Rio: I could start a bitch fight before catching my flight

Rio: bets on one already going on in your house or in the DMs if they pissed off before she awoke

Buster: I can’t condone it, your hair would make you a really easy target 

Buster: and I’m definitely not going to bet against anything like that happening

Rio: Put it up and take out the hoops before, obviously

Rio: Not my first rodeo

Buster: Still

Rio: I don’t know what she did

Rio: but I can tell it’s bad and I have no reason to trust her or disbelieve you

Buster: It isn’t her first rodeo either, you wouldn’t need the 3 guesses if I was offering them to you

Rio: What are you going to do?

Rio: Genuine question not sarcasm

Buster: I did what I had to do last night 

Rio: From now then, it’ll get better?

Rio: for you, I’m obviously not holding my breath for her taking note or anything

Buster: There’s no other option, I’m certainly not letting it get any worse  

Rio: Good, you’re taking charge

Rio: there’s nothing else you can do, everyone else will do what they will, your sister included

Buster: The same will be true for yours, when you tell her about Liam, all you can do is give her the facts, she’ll do whatever she wants with them 

Rio: Yeah, true

Rio: I guess I’m just more concerned with her reaction, as she isn’t in my shit list right now

Buster: Her reaction and the consequences of what she decides to do, yeah 

Rio: I know what will happen, or what won’t

Buster: Yeah, anything else he’s made you doubt over the years, there’s none about how Edie will take this, she’s like your mum, giving people second chances long after everyone else has lost count of the actual number

Rio: You say that like it’s a bad thing

Rio: I’m not worried about the chance she’ll give him, it’ll be the chance I don’t get

Buster: It is, if you don’t know when to stop, or like you said, the wrong people are given the chances 

Rio: You might feel different when it comes to the actual practicalities of cutting your sister off

Rio: you haven’t had anyone in your life like that before, we all have

Buster: I’m not suggesting it’s even close to a similar situation, your sister is the one about to get her weakness exploited, mine is the type to exploit people

Rio: You don’t know that, they’re clearly fine, better than fine and most couples I know

Buster: They’re not fine, he’s been keeping something huge from her for their entire relationship, involving you her sister

Rio: And you’ve already pointed out she isn’t going to see it as huge

Buster: You do though

Rio: Did, maybe

Rio: I’ll be fine

Buster: Again, fine isn’t the word

Rio: Look, forget it, I shouldn’t have bothered you with it

Rio: I’m just on a comedown 

Buster: Forget trying to fob me off

Rio: I forgot how annoying you are

Buster: Because I’m the one in the wrong here, sure

Rio: Wait, am I in the wrong or a massive victim

Buster: That depends what your next move is

Rio: 🙄

Buster: And it’s me being annoying

Rio: Like you’ve never done anything you regret at 14, now even

Rio: Doesn’t he deserve a chance to explain himself?

Buster: He isn’t the victim, he’s the perpetrator 

Rio: I’m not scared anymore

Buster: The point is, you were

Buster: he did that, there’s no excuse

Rio: an apology doesn’t count for anything, no

Buster: Exactly

Rio: I’ll think about it when I have to, right now I can be distracted

Buster: Don’t let me stop you then

Rio: Okay

Buster: Okay

Rio: You could at least say bye, be polite

Buster: I could, but if I did you’d have no opportunities left to point out my character flaws

Rio: Hardly

Buster: As far as seeking distractions go, you could do a lot better, I already agreed

Rio: I don’t need pointers

Buster: You don’t need a polite goodbye

Rio: I’ll survive without one, yeah

Buster: Good

Rio: What are you mad at me for

Buster: Why aren’t you mad at him?

Rio: I’m not not but it makes sense

Rio: it’s better it was Liam than some random who wasn’t grieving and was just creepy

Buster: That creepy random wouldn’t be in your life forever, at least

Rio: Could be

Buster: Maybe, but I wouldn’t have to ask myself if I have enough willpower to avoid hitting him and ruining Christmas

Rio: Of course you do

Buster: Okay, well if I want to exercise it or I’d rather beat the shit out of him

Rio: You know you can’t, it’s already a fucking mess of a situation

Buster: I know

Rio: You can ignore him, it’s not like he’s super social

Buster: I will

Rio: Thanks

Rio: I’m sorry

Buster: You have nothing to be sorry about or thank me for

Rio: I don’t want to ruin anyone’s Christmas

Buster: It isn’t you

Rio: I told you, you’d have no idea otherwise

Buster: I’m not mad you told me, only that there isn’t more I can do

Rio: Telling you wasn’t terrible, that was something

Rio: it was a relief

Buster: Of course, bottling shit up is just going to make you feel worse

Rio: It would’ve been worse telling anyone when I had no clue who it was and it was happening all the time

Rio: it would’ve just freaked everyone out

Buster: I understand why you didn’t

Rio: You wouldn’t of either, right

Buster: No, I think you did the right thing

Rio: So I do owe you a thank you

Buster: You wish, that way I won’t be able to refuse whatever present you’re shopping for as easily

Rio: Why would you refuse, it’s going to be the best present you got

Rio: beside whatever your parents got you, I’m not making those promises

Buster: Good save

Rio: It was your 18th, if they didn’t go hard that’d be terrible parenting

Buster: It’s a shame I won’t have to let them know you think they’re bad parents

Rio: Wait ‘til I’m out the country, tah

Buster: You’re desperate to owe me something, now it’s a favour

Rio: Well it’s not as if you’re going to do a secret for a secret

Buster: Wrong twin

Buster: she’d happily distract you with her own drama if you weren’t avoiding her

Rio: I have plans now

Rio: that don’t involve an IV and a facial

Buster: When’s your flight?

Rio: Not ‘til tonight, so I can have dinner at [a fancy restaurant]

Buster: You’ll like [a different fancy restaurant] more

Rio: Yeah?

Rio: I’ll let them know

Buster: Trust me

Rio: Blame your friend for not picking it first

Buster: I told you none of them have good taste

Rio: I wasn’t aware that extended to actual food

Buster: Why wouldn’t it?

Rio: It’s a very specific diss

Rio: I’ll see what he orders

Buster: I should’ve said none of them make good decisions instead, I thought you knew what I meant

Rio: The dig @ me wasn’t subtle but I was choosing to ignore it

Buster: It isn’t a dig at you 

Rio: 😏 mhmm

Buster: One of my friends going out with you isn’t a wise move on their part, that’s all 

Rio: It’s dinner

Buster: The plans themselves are irrelevant, except for how well they prove my point

Rio: Why, like I’m going to eat alone

Buster: You have other options 

Rio: Not on short notice, I know none of them have any other plans today

Buster: You also know I’d go with you 

Rio: I already took up too much of your time today

Buster: No you didn’t 

Rio: Oh, well

Rio: I don’t want a pity hangout though, that’s never the mood

Buster: Come on, you know me better than that

Rio: Yeah, okay, but no one else knows about the stalking thing so 

Rio: they can’t talk to me about it

Buster: We don’t have to talk about it either 

Rio: I know you better than that, boy

Buster: You clearly don’t, babe

Rio: A bit 🤏

Buster: You should know better than to underestimate me

Rio: If anything, it’s an overestimation, reckoning you HAVE to tell me what to do

Buster: You did the right thing last time, you will this time too 

Rio: I appreciate the faith

Buster: I know you well enough 

Rio: You’ve been annoyed by more annoying family members recently, you don’t need to be mad at me too

Buster: Unless you stand me up and I have to eat alone 

Rio: Why would I do that

Buster: You won’t, so I won’t be mad at you

Rio: Thank God, I don’t need that, my boyfriend already will be

Buster: You need [whatever fancy af cocktail is a special at this restaurant]

Rio: I definitely do

Buster: Meet me at [a time]

Rio: Okay

Buster: It’ll give you time to cancel on [the name of whatever friend he knows it is], listening to his sob story included

Rio: It’s so not that deep, if he tries it… 🙄

Buster: I’ll order you a double, don’t worry

Rio: So thoughtful

Buster: You’re welcome 

Rio: Are you going to get a [whatever his favourite drink is]

Buster: I’ll join you in [the cocktail because he’s a secure boy]

Rio: Are the prices that excessive we’ll have to share 🤔

Buster: My parents taught me sufficient manners to foot the bill

Rio: I never actually said they were bad parents, FYI

Buster: I remember, barely a threat never mind a promise

Rio: And I only asked you to be polite

Buster: And I listened, so don’t start an argument with me about paying your way

Rio: You’ll only want to remind me you can afford it, so I won’t

Buster: It isn’t a reminder either of us need

Rio: I paid for my flights and the presents, that’s enough willing shown, anyone would agree

Buster: More than 

Rio: For your sister, perhaps

Buster: For her, definitely 

Rio: as she didn’t even have to drunkenly listen to my problems as she was too busy creating her own, yeah

Buster: As well as a headache for me

Rio: It’s really unfortunate you’re twins

Rio: it’s the same with Janis and Grace, they’re the least alike

Buster: We could have plenty in common, it’s her priorities which are unfortunate

Rio: I don’t think you’re anything alike

Buster: I think that’s the most genuine compliment you’ve ever given me 

Rio: You’re only 18 once, like

Buster: Don’t remind me, you mentioned having regrets before, that party has earned a place on my list

Rio: It probably never lives up to the hype, it’s truthful, far as consolation goes

Buster: It easily would’ve if I’d been in charge of it

Rio: It’s just a number then

Rio: 19 is the new 

Buster: Was it your boyfriend who said age is just a number?

Rio: You’re SO funny 😏

Buster: It’s a fair question

Rio: You’re thinking of the last one, he’s only 22

Buster: Are you sure? He looks 32

Rio: You’re being rude again 👌

Buster: Hardly

Rio: Why are we talking about him again

Buster: We’re not

Rio: Good save

Buster: I’m just wondering which you believe, that we’re only 18 once or it’s a number

Rio: Hmm 🤔

Rio: it’s less about the day, more about the 364 you have until you’re 19, that’s what I think

Buster: Great save

Rio: 🙇🏽‍♀️

Rio: What do you think?

Buster: I agree

Rio: You can still hold your shitty party against Nance, not that old you have to be that mature

Buster: She wishes what I had to hold against her was that petty

Rio: No doubt…

Rio: blackmailed into better behaviour is better than nothing

Buster: With her, we have very little choice but to take what we can get

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I’d hate to think of my brothers and sisters saying shit like that about me

Buster: It isn’t something you have to think about because it isn’t something your siblings would say about you

Rio: 🤞

Rio: That would change if I told Edie, she doesn’t hold back

Buster: Neither should you, how you felt is important and she needs to hear it

Rio: There are more important things

Buster: You matter too, Rio

Rio: I want to be in Libi’s life, what if she doesn’t want me to be if I say any of this

Buster: She wouldn’t cut you out, you’re family, and you haven’t done anything but what’s best for her and Libi

Buster: you kept this a secret for her own good and if you tell her it’s still with protecting them in mind, she’ll recognise that, she’s not an idiot

Rio: She’s not

Rio: Anyway, this is breaking the rules, I’m not thinking about it ‘til I get back to Dublin

Buster: That’s the last time I’ll bring it up, I swear

Rio: I’ll make you pinky promise

Buster: Not if I make you forget about all of this first

Rio: You think you can

Buster: I know I can

Rio: I’m not going to refuse that

Buster: Why would you?

Rio: I’m sure we could think of plenty of reasons if we bothered

Buster: I’m too busy thinking of ways to salvage this trip for you

Rio: We can make attempts at salvaging for you too

Rio: even if I have to point out it’s a taller order

Buster: I’m fine

Rio: Sure but fine is not fine

Buster: Okay, I’m great

Rio: Because I really believe you now 🙃

Buster: I don’t want a pity dinner any more than you did

Rio: Not what I was suggesting, because duh

Buster: What are you suggesting [a really basic touristy thing purely for the pisstake]?

Rio: 😑

Rio: Yes, I’m going to make you [another super touristy moment] with me and it’ll serve you right

Buster: I’ll look out for when you tie your hair back and take your earrings off

Rio: You should

Rio: can’t say you haven’t been warned

Buster: You can’t either, I told you earlier I don’t lose

Rio: Yet

Buster: Ever

Rio: Never know if we don’t try, can’t claim a win when you forfeit 

Buster: I’m not going to forfeit, bring it on

Rio: At [the time you’re meant to meet] 😘

Buster: [Give her the deets of the car you’ve already booked and sorted to collect her etc because he’s just that bitch and always organised af]

Rio: Alright, you’re off to a good start 

Buster: If you’d like something that isn’t a mermaid tail to wear to [this restaurant] Nance has [whatever it’s called when you can just come and shop like on an account idk I’m not posh] at [and a list of whatever shops she does, they can’t all entirely suck]

Rio: I couldn’t possibly do that

Buster: I dare you

Rio: Seriously

Buster: When am I not serious?

Rio: She’ll notice

Buster: It’s Nancy

Rio: 😏

Rio: but really, I can buy my own outfit

Buster: If you want to forfeit the dare, yeah

Rio: I’m going to be late then

Buster: You’re going to be worth the wait though

Rio: Rude you don’t trust my own budget for that to be true

Buster: Don’t act like it isn’t more fun to get dressed at her expense

Rio: I wouldn’t say that

Buster: What would you say?

Rio: I might ask a question

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: Well, I could ask for your opinions, what you want me to wear, I might not take them into consideration

Buster: I’m rarely wrong, you’ll want to take that into consideration

Rio: I’ve never been wrong about an outfit

Buster: [obvs mention an ootd from when she was a lil kid like what about that one lol even though it was probably still a slay, gotta just remind her that he remembers things]

Rio: 😳 Shut up, I’ve always been cute

Buster: I wasn’t disputing how cute you were

Rio: You wouldn’t want to ruin your claim to rarely wrong

Buster: No, I wouldn’t

Rio: So, what do you like

Buster: Don’t you want to guess?

Rio: I could

Buster: So, what do I like?

Rio: Can’t you wait and see?

Buster: Can’t you remember how impatient I am?

Rio: That’s half the fun

Buster: You’re right, we’re having half as much fun as we could be 

Rio: There’s always time for more fun

Buster: Wait and see

Buster: [10000% looking online at fits and then calling up the store and getting the poor girl who works there to give Rio said fits to try on, so casually, just dressing your cousin for a date nbd]

Rio: [sending you selfies of these options, obviously]

Buster: [Sending her more options to keep this try on sesh going like see how much fun this is because I cannot trust him to comment on any of those selfies]

Rio: Okay, I’ll really be late if you don’t stop

Rio: I already don’t know what to pick

Buster: [pick one for her, again so casually]

Rio: I see you

Buster: Do you?

Rio: Showing you have better taste than your friends

Buster: I already proved that with the outfit I threw on to grab coffee

Rio: You dress well, it’d be stupid to suggest otherwise

Buster: You don’t need much help yourself

Rio: I’m not going to forfeit a dare to argue

Buster: Are you going to give me a dare to do?

Rio: If you wanna play

Buster: Of course

Rio: Then I’ll think of a good one

Buster: I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait too

Rio: Who am I

Buster: Who I’m choosing to spend the evening with 

Rio: Despite knowing that present competition is non-existent, still take it

Buster: It’d be stupid to suggest there’s ever any

Rio: Stupid is one of the last things I’d bother to call you

Rio: skirting ‘round the issue is one thing but barefaced lies

Buster: We’ve argued plenty of times when there isn’t a dare at stake, I’ve definitely heard you call me most things you’d feel are a more appropriate fit for who I am

Rio: Well now we know who has the best imagination if you honestly think ‘most’ is fitting

Buster: Well, poor kids need better imaginations than rich ones

Buster: and we aren’t trading one of your secrets for one of mine, so

Rio: 😏 I imagine that stings more when the target is actually ‘poor’, give you the benefit of the doubt there