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#i think a lot of us have gotten a sense about what to exaggerate through doing a lot of life drawing so maybe it's one of those things
ladygoofus · 1 year
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I remember being told over and over in art school "push the pose, push the pose," and I don't remember being told how to do that, only that I was doing it wrong. If you watch character design portfolio critiques, it's often the same thing. The artist might even redraw a pose to make it more exaggerated, but they don't explain how to figure out which parts of the anatomy to stretch or squash or bend. It's like being told to "draw a circle, now draw the rest of the face" without any steps in between. And now, even though I try to "push poses" constantly in my comics, I'm still not sure I could explain it. If I had better words, I think I could do it better! So maybe that'll be my goal for the rest of January.
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comradekatara · 1 month
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oh ur voltron essay is so incredibly true. it also provides some answers to the bafflement i have been experiencing when looking at zukka tags. like, i was THRILLED when zukka got popular bc i thought it would be freedom from the endless katara ship wars. but people have gotten so incredibly weird. the amount of racist mischaracterization in the tumblr zukka-sphere is out of control. i had accepted that the majority of zukka shippers do not understand the characters at all, and you have now made me realise: not only do they not understand the characters, they see them as. fucking keith and lance. this is horrifying i’m gonna have to sit and contemplate it for a long time
yeah no the katara ship wars are still waging on, people are also just racist about sokka now too. which is awesome. but yeah if not for the fact that i see people compare them to klants all the fucking time (even before zukka got popular, in fact) i would think that im somehow delusional and exaggerating these trends but i know im not because people are constantly admitting it. just saying it out loud. like i used to see people calling sokka and zuko “rivals” a lot and that is clearly a byproduct of klantsification because everyone knows that sokka and azula are rivals. sokka and zuko are simply not rivals in any way except for in the sense that they were trying to kill each other in book 1 i guess. but i’d hardly call that a “rivalry.”
its like. sokka hates zuko and wants him dead and then zuko comes to the western air temple and begs to be let into their group and sokka doesn’t trust him but aang says that he does and sokka knows that aang needs a firebending teacher so that he can defeat the firelord and win the war so sokka is like “okay if that’s what you want, aang” and then he still doesn’t really like or trust zuko at all (at one point he even tells him to go jump into a volcano, which is the TV Y-7 way of getting “kill yourself” through s&p) but he needs information on zuko if he’s going to rectify his mistake and then zuko insists on tagging along for his suicide mission and sokka doesn’t really care whether or not zuko lives or dies so he’s like “yeah fine whatever it’s your funeral” and then zuko demonstrates that he’s actually really earnest and sincere and charmingly awkward and willing to do anything to help sokka and always follows his lead so sokka is like “okay i like this guy now” and then they’re friends and that’s that. at no point does sokka view him as a rival.
as for zuko. zuko doesn’t really care about sokka because he’s hyperfocused on capturing aang and literally nothing else matters and then he decides that he would do anything to help the avatar defeat his father and then sokka kills the indestructible walking wmd of an assassin zuko had previously hired with just his boomerang and then zuko helps sokka infiltrate the boiling rock and proves that he would literally die for him for nothing in return except the reward of seeing him happy. so at no point does zuko consider sokka his rival because he just straight up knows that sokka is better than him in every possible way and he respects that (to an almost unhealthy degree) and just follows his lead unquestioningly. if anything zuko’s rival is also azula, because they were always competing for the same affections. (except azula considers sokka her rival, while zuko considers azula his rival.)
and ppl will frame ZUKO as being out of SOKKA’S league and it’s like. the whole POINT is that sokka is out of zuko’s league and zuko knows it the whole world knows it!!!! they’re not rivals, sokka isn’t a wacky flirty idiot, zuko genuinely terrorized him for months on end, their friendship is built on the intensity of zuko’s devotion genuinely outweighing his previous crimes. anyone who cannot see past the aesthetic similarities between what is a genuinely compelling dynamic between two very well-constructed, dimensional characters and personified shallow tropes written and shipped together in a cynical cash grab should not be engaging with zukka as a ship.
it was so much better in the beforetimes, when no one knew that gay people existed, and everyone who did even remotely ship them was like “awww I love their bromance. #brosforever” because at least then they actually kind of understood what their dynamic was even if they weren’t reading any sort of romantic subtext into it. but I do want to make myself clear. reading romantic subtext into sokka and zuko’s relationship is a genuinely coherent and informed reading of the text. it is not a “headcanon” or a “crackship,” it is a valid interpretation of what is depicted onscreen.
“the boiling rock” is truly the gay subtext episode of atla (and by that I also mean the azula mai ty lee love triangle, which was truly a life changing moment for me as a child) and while there are of course multiple valid readings of characters’ motivations and behaviors as grounded in and informed by the text, especially when it comes to unspoken romantic motivations, i really do think that it’s in no way a stretch to assume that due to factors such as — a) zuko knowing sokka and saying sokka’s name way more than he says any other gaang member’s name b) zuko risking his own life to blindly follow sokka on a suicide mission to an impenetrable supermax when he is literally wanted by the state for high treason, and trusting his lead unconditionally c) zuko just generally being so soft and docile around sokka when he’s normally a tightly wound ball of stress and rage who yells at anyone who so much as looks at him funny, and of course d) zuko literally flirting with sokka in the cooler??? because I don’t know how else to explain that scene that looks like it came straight out of a cheap porno — really do seem to indicate that zuko is down bad for sokka.
and seeing as a) reading zuko as gay is already such a logical way to read his entire character arc and the significance of his journey and b) pretty much everyone they meet is down bad for sokka (assuming they’re not already down bad for katara, that is), it’s really not an incoherent or fantastical ship. like, ymmv on whether sokka actually returns zuko’s feelings (I am mostly a proponent of one-sided zukka, but I also think that I could sort of see them getting together in their late 20s or smth. idk), it’s a genuinely compelling and coherent way to read their dynamic nonetheless. the problem is when people reduce their preexisting, compelling dynamic in service of conforming to narrow and often harmful (eg, racist) troping.
i am genuinely compelled by zuko’s uncharacteristic, almost hero-worship of sokka, his desperation to be his friend to the point of following him to the ends of the earth to prevent him from quite literally killing himself. and i think there’s something really lovely about the way these two teenage boys who have both struggled so much to conform to a harmful and militaristic masculinity could embrace their nerdier and more sensitive qualities (eg, zuko is canonically a theater kid who is apparently “quite the seamstress,” sokka is canonically a poet[ry appreciator] and likes to draw and carve) together.
i love the idea of a postcanon wherein sokka acts as zuko’s senior advisor and basically willingly puppets him and runs the fire nation from the shadows (while also doing the same in the earth kingdom simultaneously, because let’s be real, both zuko and kuei are out of their depths), and how that would also complicate their dynamic. but of course anyone who does subscribe to the “sokka works in the fire palace” hypothetical always makes sokka an “ambassador,” which is just stupid. sokka would not be satisfied merely doing ambassadorial busywork, he is literally an incorrigible control freak and he would be shadow running the fire nation, at zuko’s behest. and so on and so forth.
and yet, all the fanart of them is either wildly out of character, or sokka and zuko’s personalities have literally been reversed, which is somehow even worse. i won’t pinpoint exact examples, but im also pretty sure that if you took my hand and we went into the zukka tag together, i would just be like “nope. no. no. wrong. incorrect. wildly incorrect. egregiously wrong. no. incorrect.” and so on and so forth for every single post.
so yeah. the reason i don’t really discuss their dynamic anymore, despite still finding it compelling in its own right, is because the fans genuinely annoy me so much that they’ve turned me into a hater. it’s not even that it’s a bad ship, or that it’s not my personal cup of tea, or that’s it not grounded enough in canon for my liking. i think they’re fascinating to chew on as presented in the text. but what “fans” have done to “them” has warped whatever potential they actually have in the text into something that is both sinister and obnoxious. those aren’t sokka and zuko anymore. that’s lankka and keiko. and i don’t know those guys. they are total strangers to me. and they’re annoying and shallow and cliched and have i mentioned annoying. and i hate them.
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drunkenskunk · 5 months
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Welcome to another Drunk Skunk™ rant!
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It is entirely possible that you have noticed: I love Warhammer 40k. At the same time, I hate Warhammer 40k... okay, hate is probably the wrong word, but let me explain.
40k is one of my favorite sci-fi settings because it is, hilariously, one of the few that actually manages to get the scale of Outer Space right. Most sci-fi writers have no sense of scale, but 40k is somehow able to convey the unimaginable, incomprehensible, terrifying vastness of Outer Space correctly.
Granted, I think it does this entirely on accident, because everything in 40k is exaggerated beyond the point of absurdity. The scale of everything is massive, every number has several zeros tacked onto the end of it, travelling anywhere takes months, years, even decades, and... that's just how Outer Space is. You can't exaggerate on what is already functionally infinite.
As a result, 40k as a setting has an enormous amount of potential. No matter how much we see of the Warhammer galaxy, we will only ever see a bare fraction of it, and there is always going to be more - and stranger - stuff hidden in pockets of the galaxy that has slipped entirely beneath notice for decades, if not centuries. Or even millennia!
But here's the problem I have. All of this potential? It is almost always completely wasted by Games Workshop. Nearly every single time, GW ignores the massive amount of potential in the setting they created, in order to focus on boring shit that nobody cares about like even more fucking space marines. It's infuriating.
As far as I'm concerned, there is no better example of this in the entire setting... than the Tau Empire.
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The Tau annoy me, but not for the reasons you think.
The most common complaint I see leveled against the Tau is that they are the "good" guys, and that they don't fit into the Grim Darkness of the Grim Dark far future of Grim Dark. This is untrue. Moreover: it was never true. Even when they were introduced in 2001 with their first codex during 3rd edition, they were not good guys.
I've always held the suspicion that people saw things like their catchphrase "The Greater Good" and they read things like "the Tau are not overtly hostile," and took all of that entirely at face value, because a sizeable chunk of this fucking fandom has no media literacy skills.
It still amazes me that Warhammer 40k - a game physically incapable of subtlety - has fans that miss the blatantly obvious.
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Before I get to my main point, let's clear the air on something right now: the Tau are bad guys, just like all the other factions in 40k.
If you were to place the Tau in any other science fiction setting, they would be a terrifyingly evil authoritarian space hegemony, with a firmly held belief of "Manifest Destiny" and constantly expanding the borders of their imperial holdings through the use of dirty tricks, illegitimate treaties, and good old fashioned military adventurism spurred on by their vast military industrial complex.
Yes, the Tau typically engage in diplomacy first, but that's usually only to establish a casus belli to claim the moral high ground in a conflict because the Tau are obsessed with appearances and love to play the Long Game. Yes, the average standard of living in Tau space is higher than the Imperium, but that's not a high bar. The Tau have a rigidly enforced caste system, and you can imagine how they deal with their "client races" who might disagree with that and even other Tau who refuse to fall in line.
Or have we all forgotten about Commander Farsight?
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... I feel like I may have gotten a bit off track.
Okay, so: the simple reason the Tau annoy me is because there was a whole lot of potential there, and all of it has been completely wasted because Games Workshop doesn't seem to understand what made them interesting in the first place.
See, when the Tau were introduced in 2001, it was quickly established in the first codex that the only reason they even managed to make it to the "present" of 40k was due to a series of accidents that allowed that particular scrap of nowhere to slip beneath everyone's notice.
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But here's the thing: we didn't really need that excuse. Every time we see maps of Tau space, it's always zoomed in to such an extent that it looks much bigger than it is... because, unlike every other faction, you can't have a full map of the galaxy that only focuses on the Tau, because it's always just a pinprick.
My personal favorite of these maps is the one from the 5th edition rulebook, but it's common with all of them.
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To put this into better perspective: Tau space is almost always described as a sphere about 300 light years in diameter, which is roughly the same size as "The Bubble," the cluster of human worlds centered around Sol, in Elite Dangerous.
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And that, right there, is why the Tau should be interesting, at least to me. They represent what could exist in the hidden parts of the Warhammer galaxy that slips beneath everyone's notice because SPACE IS BIG. The Imperium of Man may technically cover the entire breadth of the Milky Way galaxy, and "hold" a million worlds... but there are 100 BILLION stars, and even more planets besides, in a galaxy that stretches 100 thousand light years from end to end.
That is A LOT of Outer Space that could hold any number of secrets and weird alien species that nobody would know about until somebody accidentally stumbles on them.
The Tau could have - should have - been a jumping off point, allowing Games Workshop to make the setting feel even bigger and far more strange than it already does. The Tau could've been the template for introducing "pocket empires" to the setting: smaller xenos armies that people could use in skirmishes, but without entertaining the illusion that they have the military projection power to stand up to the other factions on an appreciable strategic scale for an extended period of time.
And yet...
It fees like Games Workshop consistently misunderstands what should make the Tau interesting. Every new codex, every new edition, it feels like we get more and more of GW trying to be like "No, no! The Tau can definitely stand toe-to-toe with the Imperium of Man! They build tall rather than wide, and are ABSOLUTELY a threat to the Imperium, we promise!" when in reality the only reason the Tau are even still here is because the Imperium always has bigger problems to deal with.
There was the bit I mentioned earlier, where the Tau were initially saved after they discovered fire due to a mixture of freak warp storms and the Age of Apostasy causing the records to get lost. The Damocles Crusade ended in the Imperium's withdrawal because of the imminent arrival of Hive Fleet Behemoth. The Third Sphere Expansion was only successful because Failbbadon Abbadon launched the 13th Black Crusade at the same time on the other side of the galaxy, blew up Cadia, and split the galaxy in half with the Cicatrix Maledictum. Every single time the Tau do anything, a much bigger threat always shows up, and causes everyone to forget about the Tau until they inevitably go back to poking the monster.
Like, I know it's GW doing this, but sometimes it feels like Tzeentch is secretly pulling strings behind the scenes to specifically ensure the continued survival of the Tau, for no other reason than simply because the Changer of Ways thinks its funny.
And that's not even talking about how they've slowly morphed into The Gundam Faction.
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Like, it used to be that the Tau Empire was supposed to be this big conglomeration of many different alien races all working together. And there are token mentions of that in the 9th edition codex, with a big list of names largely devoid of context. But as soon as you see these guys in action on the tabletop, it's immediately clear what they're about. You only ever see Tau, and you only ever see Big Robots.
Which... it's not bad, the model range looks great, don't get me wrong. But it still feels slightly disappointing, when you think about what we could have had.
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I love Warhammer 40k.
But I also hate Warhammer 40k.
Because I see all this potential... and, inevitably, I see it squandered.
And it frustrates me to no end.
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outeremissary · 4 months
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kasperia character journal please? 👀
Hi Romeo! Sorry this is a lil late (days later edit: now a lot late), time kind of stopped functioning for part of Friday, hahhh . Anyway some good luck on this one being the only one I have screenshots from while my laptop hangs between this world and the next! (days later edit: it's actually dead forever) Anyway, this was admittedly a bit of a cheat because it is a tabletop character journal, but it's a WIP to me and I like working on it. Counts!
Anywayyyy. I don't think it's actually been said on Tumblr at this point, but Kasander and Asperia are two parts of a dissociative identity disorder system (I don't know if this is too jargon-y an explanation...?). Not the only two, but the two who interface the most with the outside world and in some ways have the strongest feelings about "Asperia's" life. In tabletop, their journal is how they communicate with one another to mitigate the effects of losing time and to get some sense of coordination with what they're doing. On a meta level, it helps me track what each of them knows about game events and how they feel about each other (and any other alter who adds something to the journal). Relationships within the system aren't really something that generally makes sense to externalize into regular RP. The journal is a helpful way to develop that running self-exploration side plot without derailing what's happening in session.
It's been a really fun exercise in character voice. I love writing epistolary type stuff- Carmen's mission report character journal was one of my favorite parts of playing her back in 2019- so it's been very relaxing to me. Excited for our hiatus to end to gather more material for it. I've gotten a little off track from some original plans though- one significant concept I'd had going in was that Kasander's parts of the journal are written as direct letters to Asperia, while Asperia's were supposed to be written as a diary as if the other pages didn't exist. Stubborn willful ignorance from someone struggling to come to terms with their reality. Unfortunately, it's very fun to write things that are a little bit more communicative ^^;; I'll probably have to rewrite pieces of recent parts of the journal to be a bit more in line with that intent before adding the next chunk to our party's notes drive. Not a lot room to develop the twins' relationship over time if there's not much distance between the start and the end, after all.
With that said, some of the direct exchanges are very fun. Pros and cons.
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It's also fun to think through what's tracked and what's omitted (intentionally or unintentionally). Kasander loves describing the cultural experience of a location but carefully skips mentioning having actually spent money on things. They're always on thin ice with the funds. Asperia keeps (mildly exaggerated) accounts of personal achievements but completely skips over failures, especially failures that involved injury to the body. She needs to communicate a sense of superiority- something that certainly works when Kasander apologizes profusely any time the body is hurt under their care.
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(yeah it seemed like a good idea at the time to use a more "handwritten" font for the final thing but I've been having A Lot Of Regrets)
I unfortunately don't have a screenshot, but the journal has also had one small addition from Paracelsus as well. It's just a to-do list of ways to organize and restock the crafting supplies. Very typical of them. Asperia thinks he wrote it, like everything Paracelsus writes.
Also fun to get to work in some in-world explanations for things that raise some meta questions, like not having some items that I need for my character concept (I ran out of starting equipment budgettt). This bit is also consistent with the pattern that Asperia avoids referring to Kasander by name.
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How common the two of them actually sabotaging each other's possessions is has yet to truly be established, but it is an aspect of what the party thaumaturge refers to as their "feud."
Pros over BG3: they are aware of and communicating each other, and they didn't have to have five near death experiences for it to happen. Yay!
Cons over BG3: lot more hostility from Asperia persisting past that point. Kasander did in fact ruin their life a little.
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hopefull-mindset · 9 months
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Nagito is definitely more complex than some people give him credit for. He's also pretty tragic when you think about it.
Like he's been through horrible things, to the point that it's almost too outlandish to take seriously (which is something that bothers me but that's beside the point), and has become desensitized to tragedy. He has no control over his own life or even his own mind and body considering his medical conditions. And deep down all he wants is a normal life without his luck, but he can't have it, so he latches on to this hierarchical ideal of hope and talent as a way to cope with it.
And he is selfless in the sense that he doesn't value his own life and will readily sacrifice himself for his perceived greater good, but he still has his own agenda.
He's not really a good person but he's not really a bad person either, he's just fucked up.
Also I can't help but wonder if his obsession with hope overcoming despair is a projection. That it's him secretly/subconsciously hoping (heh) that his own life could improve, even if he doesn't think he deserves it.
Anyways sorry for rambling he drives me insane (affectionate).
No, it’s okay. I can see you want to start a conversation so I’ll give you a conversation to build off your points! Your speech pattern reminds me too much of my own, so it feels like I’m talking to myself LOL. A good rambling is always never not welcome, whenever I do it’s too organized to call a ramble though.
With the outlandishness of what Komaeda has experienced, it’s always topped off with his own casual speech pattern. It’s pretty hard to take seriously when Komaeda is speaking about it like he’s talking about the weather. His desensitization to what he had gotten used to as daily life has created this depressing yet self-centered view of living.
Now, self-centered? I know what you’re thinking, “but Komaeda’s view of the world is incredibly giving” and “Komaeda’s self worth would never let himself be the center”, and yeah that hasn’t changed, but take two steps back from being in Komaeda’s mindscape and you’re able to view the fact that a lot of what Komaeda uses to process the world is based in his own experiences. Everyone knows that it’s a coping mechanism, but what does that entail in reality? I can tell you.
Komaeda has experienced more misfortune than the average human being should ever be exposed to, so he’s chosen to cling onto this idea that everyone else also operates on hope and despair the same way his luck has put him through his entire life. He’s chosen the ultimates to be apart of these views because the talented are considered to be the pinnacle of human life in society’s collective, something unattainable unless you were born with it and the utter hope of a society’s future, so it makes it easier for Komaeda to justify what’s happened to him by making sure they stay up on that metaphorical pedestal, and that keeps him down there. His beliefs are distorted because they don’t align with how reality actually works; It’s why he treats them like he does because his belief in them is based in shallow, exaggerated societal expectations, so he’s going to treat them as nothing more than their talent.
This is exactly what I meant by self-centered. This type of belief does not consider anyone else as individuals with feelings or wants, and purely for his own religious-like faith in that this is what is going to save him and if not, he would gladly be the martyr to its cause. It’s either going to save him or destroy him, and what we’ve seen, has only destroyed him. Like you said, this doesn’t make Komaeda a good person, but it doesn’t make him a bad one.
If Komaeda does not have confidence in his luck, then all of that will crumble. So if any of you were boggled by his relationship with his luck, there you go. He doesn’t think it deserves to be a talent among the ones he idolizes, but he believes in it because it’s what he’s known all his life.
Like I said, this will and has destroyed him. In UDG and Chapter 0 of sdr2, it’s gotten to a point where he’s visibly confused himself while still in full confidence of an even more warped idealistic system, and seeing hope for himself (reminder that the entirety of first game was on TV) wasn’t enough, he wanted to direct it happening himself and see it up close with Komaru, a normal girl, to cause even more hope.
Even though I have personal problems with the anime as a whole (yes, even the OVA), as the OVA has mentioned, what would really make him happy and help him is a normal life, not some grand thing like absolute hope. However, he doesn’t see any worth in that because his life has always been not normal and there’s no great Hope waiting for him if it does become normal. It’s never going to happen either so it’s no fun entertaining the impossible for him, even as optimistic as he goes on to be about terrible situations.
Ugh, too many words. Too much to say. This is not the time to talk about this, but Komaeda what happened to your perception of your own bodily autonomy?
Besides the fact my head hurts having to put that into words, I agree with your points and I hope I covered everything? I always accidentally do that when I’m trying to talk about one thing at a time.
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Mike and El's Codependent Relationship
You can read up on codependency here. I wrote about Mike's character here so I will try not to repeat myself too much.
I want to stress that Mike and El didn't suddenly start having a codependent relationship in season 3, that was just when the romantic element was added to it. Their dynamic was a problem from the start and it's why I think even the Duffer's were thrown off by the fact that people were shipping them. Not only were they compared to Eliot and ET, but it's clear that their interactions were related to their trauma. I don't believe they ever wanted us to root for them. They are there to represent forced conformity not a healthy relationship.
When they meet in season 1, Mike is trying to find Will (Lucas and Dustin too, but Mike is the leader). The thing that's important about this is that Mike starts to lead the party to find Will because he doesn't trust the adults around him to do it. His parents don't join the search party, the bully at school mentions how he must have gotten killed by "some other queer", and Mike doesn't know Hopper and doesn't trust him. There are a lot of comments made that indicate that people aren't surprised he's missing. Which is what leads to Mike saying that he's "the only one who cares about Will". This is what drives him to go looking himself. He's the Paladin, so he's going to rescue Will.
The fact that he role plays as the Paladin is the driving force behind a lot of his behavior. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as he establishes boundaries with it. But in this case, this role does put him and his friends in danger and Mike is often reckless and impulsive this season (jumping off a cliff, pushing the bully, running off in the woods in the middle of the night, etc.). The group is often in over their heads. He doesn't seem to have any regard for his safety and it's entirely because he doesn't think anyone else cares about Will. Lucas and Dustin are helping him but they are also fighting with him a lot, especially over El and I think it's what partly leads to his desperation. So he clings to El because she's the only way he can rescue Will. He can't do it alone. He needs her. Mike and El have what is basically a business arrangement. When he's trying to figure out what to do with her, he finds out she has powers and knows who Will is. So now she has a use for him and she's a weapon (a thing he actually calls her). She's going to find Will and in exchange he's going to protect her from the "bad men". But it's not Mikes responsibility to protect her from Brenner. He doesn't have an age appropriate response to finding out that she's in danger. It's an exaggerated sense of responsibility. He should have still told his mother or another adult what was going on here but the fact that he doesn't says a lot about Mike. He was afraid of getting into trouble when he told, but he also sees this as something that he needs to take care of himself.
He's also the one who responds to El in a more emotionally mature way than Lucas and Dustin which suggests that he has experience taking care of people (my guess is this involves Will and Lonnie. There are similarities between them and El and Brenner). He views her as his responsibility which is a big burden for a 12 year old to take on. So he not only wants El to help him rescue Will but he thinks he can also rescue El in the process. So when El doesn't exactly follow through on their "deal" he gets angry with her. Part of it is that she doesn't know how to explain, but she also is afraid to tell him the truth. She's scared and it's something Mike doesn't always see in his desperation to get to Will. Mike and El have the same dynamic even now. She lies to him because she is scared and doesn't think he'll understand, and he needs her to be a superhero while all of his attention is on Will and he neglects what she's going through. There is no trust here from either of them.
The only time these two have an emotional connection is over the bullying. It's a very brief conversation where it's clear that Mike is starting to see her as someone who he could maybe be friends with. He doesn't know her well but the fact that she understands meant a lot to him. And it's this same thing she shuts down in season 4 when he tries to bring it up again. Their bond over this is not strong.
El's purpose in Mike's life in this season is to save Will. And it's not just him, they are all using her. While she helps voluntarily, the scene where they are at the school watching her in the pool is a parallel to her getting watched by the lab people while she's in the sensory deprivation tank. Her friends watch her perform. While this group is obviously kinder to her than the people at the lab, there is something deeply sad about the fact that the first group of people she comes across outside of it still need her for her powers.
Mike also spins El this fairytale version of what their lives could be - she's going to stay at his house and go to the Snow Ball. At this point he's attached to her and it's stemming from guilt and the trauma they just went through. He's now gotten chased by the lab people and sees how much danger she's in and how he put her in harms way too by having her help with Will. He feels like he owes her. Mike, Lucas, and Dustin are the first kids outside of the lab that she's met that are her age. But she doesn't remember the lab kids and they weren't close with her. So these three are the first peers that she meets who start to form a relationship with her. But by the end of the season they are still viewing her as a superhero and not a person. When they tell Will about her they are excited about her powers and how she flipped a van. She's the superhero who swooped in the rescue them all.
Season 2 is the first time that we get a glimpse of El as a kid and it's because of Hopper. He gives her a home, reads to her, helps he communicate better, plays games with her, and makes her eat her vegetables. It's the first stable, safe home that she has. Except for the fact that she's still in danger and can't leave the house. So she gets attached to Mike. She is lonely. She's by herself all day with no one to talk to and she can't leave so she checks in on one of the few people she actually knows all while watching soap operas and reenacting them. It's clear she imagines her and Mike in these roles. And considering the toxic relationships that were represented on soap opera's in the 80s, her mimicking this isn't healthy. It's the only representation of a romance that she has.
Mike during this time also has an unhealthy attachment to her because of his grief and guilt. I wrote about this here. Mike's behavior isn't indicative of a crush but depression. And Mike's behavior toward Will being in danger this season is different than in season 1. It's more age appropriate and it's entirely because he is surrounded by 3 adults who he trusts - Joyce, Hopper, and Bob. Mike's role toward Will as the Paladin is more of a protective friend. He's by his side through it all supporting him, sleeping by his bed, and helping find a way to protect him. But he never crosses a line by being reckless and putting himself in unnecessary danger like he did in the first season. There is no exaggerated sense of responsibility here. Because he has adults near him handling things and he doesn't feel like he has to.
It's this behavior that Will is appreciative of. Mike doesn't baby him like almost everyone else. It's what leads to Will giving Mike the painting later and calling him the heart. It's their emotional connection that means everything to both of them. They bonded over their trauma in a healthy way, discussing how they were feeling and listening to each other without dismissing each other. They created a sense of safety in their relationship. A thing that Mike and El don't have because they never discuss anything that they've been through.
When El feels betrayed by Hopper she doesn't go to Mike. She goes off on her own to find herself. Which is good and shows that on some level she knows she can separate herself from him. She reconnects with her mother, aunt, and sister and figures out where she belongs. Her home is with Hopper. The first adult who gave her a safe space to act like a kid. But she also realizes that they are in trouble and goes back to help them. El feels responsible for all of the problems that they are having because she's the one who opened the gate to the upside-down. She didn't do it on purpose, but it's why she allows herself to get run down trying to save everyone. She thinks it's her fault.
When El and Mike reunite and she tries to kiss him, it's clear she has been fantasizing about this relationship in a romantic and unrealistic way. They were apart for a whole year and she thought they would just pick up where they left off, without discussing anything. But Mike clearly hasn't been thinking of her like this. He doesn't try to kiss her or interact with her in a way that's romantic and he seems surprised that she does. He is relieved that she's ok because he was feeling so guilty for putting her in danger but he's not romanticizing their relationship the way that she is.
And then she's putting herself in danger to save them again, and this is where Mike starts to get reckless for the first time all season. He leads the group into the upside-down tunnels to help, when they were told to stay put and wait. He feels like he needs to save her. And again, it's not his responsibility to do this. Not only does she have superpowers and is capable of saving herself, but he puts himself in this role because he doesn't know how else their dynamic works. They don't have the foundation of a friendship for him to fall back on so he acts like the Paladin. It stems entirely from guilt and trauma. The only interactions these two have had at this point involved a week of stress and very dramatic, life-threatening situations. That's the foundation of their relationship.
Part 2 (conclusion)
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seattlekrakenyaoi · 25 days
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aum….. questions …. Hm probably not really related to the fic itself but people’s worldbuilding for omegaverse is so much fun to look at and compare… so…. i think i remember you saying that everyone’s hormone levels are very monitored by the nhl. but i dont remember if that involves mandated suppressants.
my question: if they dont use suppressants, is there no worry about people randomly going into heats/ruts — is the monitoring of hormones enough? if they DO (ok this is literally literally my favorite omegaverse thing to ask people about because answers differ so greatly) what are side effects!!!! like… migraines depression digestion issues etc. or even dynamics based side effects… lowered sense of smell, aversion to scenting/physical contact, stuff like tjat. Okay bye *turns into dust and if you can guess who i am . No you cant*
this is a very good question i have been DYING to talk about the world building
i think in my omegaverse, heats and ruts are like…. big twice a year events, so it’s not like… every month? lots of players schedule them for the off-season or breaks and call it good . they do have like… relative control over it, especially w meds, but the closer it gets the harder it is to put off.
in my verse, NHL (and sports at large) have like… kind of gotten dynamic stuff down to a science . nuances of team dynamics are handled by the leadership core, while they have trainers who are specifically focused on dynamic needs to like… check hormones and record patterns and make sure the omegas are nesting make sure a surprise heat doesn’t spring up. scent blockers and suppressants are usually up to the players discretion, though if someone is having like. surprise heats every two weeks then they’ll kind of be strong armed into taking suppressants.
surprise heats/ruts come on really suddenly like . absolutely no warning . but it’s definitely like … an exaggeration of already there dynamic qualities, like you might see an alpha be a little bit more aggressive before their rut, when a surprise heat comes, that builds up to times 1000 because they’re going through the prerut in such small time, and the rut itself will be more intense too. i think their sense of smell gets more exaggerated, they’re way more receptive to scents which makes it really hard for lots of people… good question!!! i definitely need to think on this one a little more :3
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elevatortheory · 11 months
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barry being autistic is just really funny to me its like a joke but also the idea of him being real rep is very special to me too i have talked about this a lot SORRY i like discussing it . i like saying things . barry as an undiagnosed adult makes perfect sense because obviously john sr. and fuches would not know or understand any of that and would not bother to really look into it further than "hes shy" -> "hes depressed" . and also him being genuinely really dumb when the mainstream Consumerized autistic character has to be exctremely smart and catty and quick-witted and sarcastic . they have to still function in society and still be extremely intelligent to make up for it and theyre obsessed with science and cars and whatever the fuck . <- i know there are characters who arent like this in media but i specifically am talking about the MainStream CONSUMERIZED form of quirky cute uwu autism thats gotten popular the past few years . the kind where all you have to do is be a bit awkward and be a bit obsessed with something . while barry is sincerely dumb and doesnt understand simple questions and doesnt comprehend relationships and is so gullible and so stupid and the only "skill" he has that "makes up for it" is the skill that also results in him being alienated and In fact is a trait we as the viewer dislike him for . barry being awkward and nervous and oblivious is a very specific part of his personality most noticeable in s1 but as time goes on and he starts to seem more "normal" it can still be viewed as masking via the scenes where his "mask" (version of himself he tried to build) cracks and hes just as awkward and weird and oblivious again . his behavior from tricky legacies to the wizard is one specific moment of that to me . functionally hes a "savant" in that hes extremely dumb with one specific skill/interest that hes exceptionally talented/knowledgeable about. though i dont know if id consider that FULLY because he isnt like. his special interest isnt guns lol but he does have lots of odd little fixations and traits and those fixations are also heavily linked to his PTSD and father issues/abandonment issues and his need for validation . well anyways barry being very messy and fucked up and flawed and his mental illnesses/disorders contributing to it and they create lots of real long-term problems in his life which , though exaggerated or shown in different metaphorical ways, can be very accurate to what real people w/ those illnesses/disorders and even real veterans and survivors of war and stuff go through . but even then we get direct proof that barrys awkwardness and shyness wasnt caused BY the war or by john sr. or fuches because he was already like that as a child. and also i just like to use him as an example of how things can be canon by being inferrable and implied in the text without having to be directly stated . you make a character who is extremely awkward, terrible at relationships, cannot understand tone, rhetorical questions, or metaphors, who is extremely gullible to the point it gets him into serious trouble SEVERAL times , and who is finally again i keep bringing up the rain man comparison AGAIN he is compared to raymond from rain man, possibly the most well-known autistic character (and movie related to that) in america i would think . so like . at that point its canon without them having to explicitly state it at all . what was the point of this. oh barry is just good representation of a severely mentally ill person and a good commentary of how society and organizations can fail mentally ill people . and sally also i would like to talk about sally one day but i need to rewatch early s4 for that probably .... . i am very mentally ill and i like talking about how it can be shown in media (thumbs up emoji) . i dont know if any of these words form a coherent sentence
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nanjokei · 7 months
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i know ive said it before a few months ago but even though i dont go there i feel like people are pretty meanspirited towards genshin fans. obviously one of the biggest games around is gonna attract people who are new to geek ish shit like video games and anime. which means its likely their opinions are likely to be unseasoned. i think theres an entire world that exists for teenagers and normies with smartphones that we arent seeing, maybe its a generational gap idk
like the people who are super into webtoons and genshin and god knows what else, younger people and normies, lack the etiquette that was basically beaten into our brains through years of frequenting forums and microblogging social sites (livejournal, tumblr) (this is a lie because most people lack etiquette to begin with) so they act unbecoming, get into fights, make claims about skinny twinks being daddy or whatever. mostly cuz they know nothing else. is it annoying? yeah, but it feels meanspirited to write all of them off, and all of genshin off. i dont play it, i tried it close to launch and found myself completely disinterested so after not even completing the tutorial i ended up dropping it, but i have a lot of friends who are normal and find themselves enjoying it unironically and theyre surprised that they do due to the overly exaggerated reputation it has. im just speaking in general, of course they have the same issues a lot of people have with genshin, in fact i think most people who Actually Play Games would...
in general i dont get the catastrophization of genshin. i feel like so many people attribute things to it that dont make sense, like how suddenly all anime character design, especially fantasy, has gotten worse. my own feelings on the designs is pretty neutral. but at the same time its like, a fucking anime game, idk, i dont have feelings on it to begin with because it just looks like most other anime games but hoyoverse flare is hoyoverse flare.
to begin with i don't think hoyoverse is to blame for fantasy designs sucking. i think that is completely dishonest to suggest. as a fantasy fan, i think that its an issue of decay and lack of interest in the genre. i wrote about my feelings in isekai before (hint: mostly positive) but its a fact that most people have no interest in fantasy anymore. its seeing a slight genuine revival recently, but i feel like most of people's exposure is from isekai that take a very minimalist and "modern" sensibility to the designs so as not to be cringe and over the top. here is a google search i did in november 2022 with the search term "anime elf"
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i mostly use this cap to show that 1) this is an issue ive been concerned about consistently and 2) if you search "anime" anything these days you get a lot of ai art and that is just noise to me in this context. by the way, in nov 2022 if you searched "90s anime elf", the results are entirely deedlit lol. she's very pretty, and every anime aesthetic page on social media is eager to reshare her and erroneously go "80s anime is the best 😍😍😍" you know, the ova series and tv anime that came out in 1990 and 1998 respectively. its just a complete and utter lack of disinterest in the fantasy genre all around that leads to fantasy anime being swallowed up into nothingness and not being present in any zeitgeist. even tales of, a series that seemed inseperable from the conventions of the genre, has forsaken it. the super tropey anime fantasy jrpg doesn't exist anymore. even fire emblem keeps hiring artists that have no business designing characters in a medieval setting (kozaki, kurahana, pikazo). granblue FANTASY has entirely shed its final fantasy tactics inspo aesthetic and is increasingly releasing more characters distant from those sensibilities.
anyway, my point is that for over a decade now fantasy as us nerdy 20 somethings grew up with has been considered owakon and blasé. nu anime fantasy is either informed by wanting to smooth out the fantasy element as much as possible (see: rezero's character design sense. i have no comment on the story itself) or inspiration from anime MMOs that usually had more simple armor and clothing designs for most players who didn't pay up. its a whole issue from top to bottom, and frankly genshin has nothing to do with it. there are modern series clearly made by people who love the fantasy we grew up with. even those that have a different world view, like tensura, lampshades the protagonist's view of fantasy to the world he actually ended up in.
if anything genshin at least feels like its calling to SOMETHING. im not sure what, to be honest i dont really get the design thoroughline of it, and a lot of the designs are overdesigned, but i think some designs do feel reminiscent of a more familiar fantasy aesthetic (venti comes to mind).
of course its true that a lot of young artists take inspiration from genshin, you know, its one of the most popular games in the world, its like mind boggling hearing how big its install base is, but also i keep hearing that it had some kind of ripple effect on all character design in every game and anime ever. can anyone actually show me like even 3 examples of this? like, be honest with me. is that not peak catastrophizing? game has barely been out for 3 years, its not really enough for its ripple effect to suddenly change the world.
what you are complaining about is an issue that has been an issue since the 2010s. maybe you are only noticing it now that you have a new mediore hatesink to invest in. anyway yes this mediocre and halfhearted defense of genshin's fans was an excuse for me to rant about fantasy as a genre being on its death throes and how people are misattributing the tragedy to rant about some mediocre anime gacha game. i hope the recent popularity of series like dungeon meshi and frieren (i mention them bc theyre currently airing right now) makes people remember that fantasy can be good and pure soul. i hope we get a real tales of game soon also.
if you read this far please let me know what you think even on anon. its a topic that greatly interests me (anime fantasy, not genshin, i have nothing to say about genshin)
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hereliesbeetlejuice · 2 years
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lmao I got so excited when I saw that ugly new makeup cause immediately I was like “oh kristen’s gonna have some shit to say about this”
PLZZZZ SKFJSKFJDJ I GOT A LOT OF SHIT TO SAY ABOUT THIS
and i’ve been trying to hold back cause i wanna keep this blog an overall positive place but in my deepest of hearts i am a hater through and through and it’s time to let that shine for a minute if you’ll indulge me
DC makeup:
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the most gremlin he’s ever been.
hair was messy but still a bit too trimmed imo
the gunk in the teeth was A+ in theory but on stage it just kinda made him look like he was missing teeth. which honestly could also work but it wasn’t the most comfortable for Alex
beard was perfectly scruffed and patchy, looked like a dirty old man that was convinced he could grow a full beard but couldn’t
could use a little more moss around the face but still corpse-like and ugly in all the right ways
7.5/10
Winter Garden makeup:
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now THIS is a man that’s just been sitting around collecting dust, moss, and mold for the past three centuries
the subtle dark makeup on the edges of the eye sockets made them look perfectly sunken, this dude absolutely does not sleep.
the cheekbone contour is a little more exaggerated than it needs to be and let’s be real, you just can’t make this guy look like he’s wasting away to the bone. and we love that about him
the moss is so PERFECTLY patchy around the beard it looks like it has its own ecosystem, 10000% chance there are microscopic species yet to be discovered living in there
eyebrows are perfect to me, dark, messy, with the furrow creases accentuated to give him that extra little bastard look
the wig changed around a bit, i like the length of the one on the right but the unkempt-ness of the left
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bonus pic because i just think they did so well accentuating the features of his face without detracting from his expressions or overall appearance
9/10 we love this guy <3
Evolution of the Marquis makeup:
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gonna preface this by saying do not come at me with “it needs to look dramatic so the whole theater can see!!” because i was in one of the last rows on re-opening night and i couldn’t not focus on what was going on with his face.
the beard.
literally traumatizing, disgustingly thicc and they made it worse by darkening it. looks like something my foot would accidentally touch in the water at the beach and make me scream
as sickening as the beard is somehow making it more fuller makes him look….more put together? it worked a LOT better when it was all patchy and pathetic
can we talk about the forehead slime. what is it doing there. where is it meant to be coming from. and why could they not at least MATCH THE SHADE OF GREEN TO THE REST OF HIM WHAT IS THIS EMERALD SHIT
eye makeup is still okay for now
the wig looks too purposefully styled and the way they made his hair a natural hair color except for a perfectly sectioned-off front portion? wack.
4/10
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oh jesus oh god nevermind go back to the other wig go BACK
looks like the porcupine from Surfs Up remember the penguin movie with penguin shia labeouf
beard is still ugly but not in the way it should be. starting to add some green to it but it’s pointless when you can’t actually see it through all the hair
someone has made the decision to turn his earlobes emerald as well?
beard, wig, slime, all different shades can we plz at least keep it coherent
1/10 i’m keeping a point cause the eyes are still semi-okay
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at some point someone decided he needed a tan?????
SO MUCH BRONZER ?????? FOR SOME REASON ???????
straight up looks like an oompa loompa
especially now that we’ve gone full green with the beard
0/10 go back to the chocolate factory
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i……..
i don’t even have the words
this makeup look was done by a new makeup swing who i can only guess has never seen the show and was never given even a vague description of what he’s supposed to look like
the forehead slime has gotten out of control. it makes no sense, doesn’t even look like slime (which i’m assuming it’s supposed to be????), attracts way too much attention to the wig cap and microphone, crowds the face
listen. i know some of you like the dark rings because it’s similar to keatlejuice but first of all i have to say he’s not SUPPOSED to look like keatlejuice. these are two very VERY different characters and i think trying so hard to give them physical similarities is pointless and counterproductive to keeping the originality that’s made this show as successful as it is
that being said. i am not OPPOSED to the IDEA of the dark circles but i think they were executed so, so poorly here. i’m not joking when i say when i first saw the pic on the left i thought he was midway through taking his makeup off. they didn’t do anything to blend the edges or make it look naturally sunken and it hides the eyebrows and therefore a big portion of his range of expression
speaking of eyebrows it’s giving how the grinch stole christmas
the beard has gone full-on chia pet. it literally looks like someone grew it in a planter. horrific
idk whose idea it was to place a random green spot on his nose but it looks like a radioactive booger and it’s insanely distracting i don’t even know what the intention behind that was supposed to be
overall it’s way too loud, way too crowded, way too much going on. alex is an all or nothing performer, we don’t NEED all of this to remind us he’s a dead guy. not that he looks like a dead guy anymore he looks like an 11 year old’s joker cosplay
like i’m not trying to be mean but i genuinely, truly can’t fathom how these were done by a professional makeup artist when i sincerely believe any random fan could’ve done a better job like i know that sounds rude but that’s how confused i am this feels like a prank there is just no way an entire production team looked at that and said “yeah looks good” like i can’t fathom it
-20000/10
anyway. thanks for indulging me while i let all this out cause i am so frightened of what it’s gonna evolve to next. i’m also a little upset at the inconsistency of it all, his makeup design literally changes on a nightly basis these days and that’s not an exaggeration. i get it if they’re trying things out but to change it so often this late in the game is jarring tbh. i’m theorizing they may be trying different looks to see what would be captured best on the proshot and if that’s the case all i can do is BEG them to understand less is more cause i cannot stress enough how little i want to see All That in HD.
tldr; he used to look like an actual dirty old corpse, now he just looks like a kid’s halloween costume.
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jbt7493 · 11 months
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can you imagine. all the impracticality of a chainsaw-sword, but an axe. it'd be even worse. how awesome is that.
under the cut is like literally more than a dozen paragraphs of me being autistic about combat choreography despite having no actual filmmaking experience or even really watching many movies. in fact i think it is quite likely i am just wrong about some of what im talking about; however i like reasoning about things even if i dont know what im talking about.
cause like okay the chainsaw sword tends to be stout and short, and often has a large handle because like. Engine for the thing to do the chainsawing bit. so it ends up having an unsatisfying sense of movement when used to slice
obviously since it's a chainsaw you end up having an idea of just smacking it into somebody and then getting that nice little 'beat' before it rips through them in a burst of gore (interesting parallel in choreography between this and the classic samurai clash)
but because the design of the chainsaw sword tends on the shorter side and the visual balance also leans toward a shorter and stouter image, you don't get a very large or fast 'swing', and the business end of the weapon has less emphasis.
you might have to place more visual weight on the person wielding it (a bulky armor suit or a huge mecha, for example), and you'll definitely need to make their movement carry more of the weight, maybe with them making exaggerated two handed swings or charging into their opponent.
they'll need to make bigger movements in a fight because your focus is more on them instead of on their weapon, and a back-and-forth of parrying and circling won't work visually like it would with rapiers or katanas because you're not looking at the space between the two fighters.
the axe is a weapon which also places a lot of weight in a single spot, both in the real world and visually in its choreography, but that weight is on the business end, not toward the handle. when a character uses a big axe or hammer, you're still paying more attention to the space between them and the target.
my analysis on the axe and hammer arent as informed and i already barely watch any actual movies so this is basically purely theory. but like. you have the visual weight more at the end, and while you don't necessarily have to do the thing where a huge lumbering barbarian swings once every three seconds, you're not going to see something that's visually heavier move as quickly as the swords would, if you want the fight to look balanced.
with a normal perspective, though, you can still have quick repeated swings without having too much movement; just have them swing the weapon side to side instead of up and down, and it'll be moving toward or away from the camera but in the same spot. this will make the axe wielder feel more static- the negative space between two swordsmen moves quickly as their swords flash up and down, in and out. the axe head being visually larger than a sword's blade means that when the axe is being used to make horizontal strikes perpendicular to the perspective, it will occupy a consistent space.
the fact that the axe's blade, and thus its visual weight, is at the end also changes the space they occupy; it lends itself toward the moment of a big swing missing and giving the opponent an opening, because while the sword's weight is somewhat balanced, with the axe you've now gotten between the wielder and the weapon, and have occupied the space they were controlling, which moves less quickly than with the sword.
while with the sword you can have the samurai beat where two swords clash, they move past each other, and then one explodes, with the axe, the greater bulk of the blade removes the plausibility of that 'phantom' cut, and the weight means you're more focused on each hit. a heavily wounded barbarian continuing to rage in combat is encouraged even more by this, because the dichotomy of the weapon theyre using and the weapons of their opponents means that it looks good as the barbarian makes a huge swing with their heavy weapon and takes a small cut.
the trait of the axe where the opponent can get inside of its reach, the balance of its design, and the stereotype associated with the axe as a weapon for a strong brute character encourage the use of non-weapon attacks as well, along with the value of simply having more novelty in your choreography. if the barbarian makes a heavy swing, you don't want to move the axe again too quickly, or else you lose the sense of heft. let them take a step forward and throw a punch, changing the focus to them and letting them occupy the same space as the axe for a moment so they can take over its visual weight before picking it up and continuing with it.
the chainsword too encourages non weapon attacks. another reason, which also applies to the axe as mentioned, is that any successful hit from the chainsword is more significant. if you want to keep the scene going, mix in some attacks that do less damage. the chainsword often features not only a knuckle guard but a viciously spiked one. of course, the spikes don't make it do more damage, but they make the viewer expect the user to throw a punch with it. and they look cool. the chainsword also encourages close quarter combat because it's a short weapon. since it doesn't 'move' visually much on it's own when swung, the user must move for it, and it's more interesting to work that charge into a shoulder charge or a kick to the stomach that will stagger the enemy.
but discussing the axe vs the chainsword, you find something similar in terms of choreography, but the axe is simply more dynamic, and is significantly heavier. the chain-axe, then, is simply *more*. an axe for an even greater brute, that.. well, actually, it doesnt necessarily encourage more of the barbarian outside of simply the prior stereotype; while the chainsword shares the incentive to CQC with the axe, it doesnt really encourage the 'berserk' as much, since it lacks that distance between the threat and the user and the weight that disincentivizes moving too quickly which leads to creating more moments of weakness after any given strike
in fact.. the movement in which the two samurai clash and slide past each other (not necessarily the blood explosion kind, just any), or just binding swords, works because you're usually mostly focused on the swords and the space between the two fighters, and then you're creating that switched-beat, reinforcing rhythm and tempo, by swapping the motion and the focus toward them for a second. their swords bind and stop moving as they grapple, and the focus becomes them for a moment, still. they swap from a quick dance and both make a heavy swing, using their own movement in addition to that of the sword to add to its emphasis. they both move toward the center, the space previously occupied by their flashing swords, which neatly compresses it into nothingness and turning them into the focus. as they step past each other, they stop for a moment. both recover from the clash, and since they moved across the center, they must turn around to face each other again. the dance pauses, they take a breath, and continue.
of course, since the sword is 'lighter' and doesnt do as much damage, they also can accumulate hits. and since it's their sword, not them, that occupies the focus, an attack hitting them doesnt necessarily feel as significant. hence, i guess, the value of the clash, beat, then the wound opens; as mentioned, it turns them into the focus instead of the space between them where their swords clash. thus their wound gains more emphasis; it isnt them taking a little scratch during their fencing, it's them, the focus of the scene, being wounded, and not only is it emphasized because they become the focus, it's also emphasized by the brief moment of respite after their clash, because now that wound is the only action happening.
the chainsword can't do things like that for a couple reasons. since it's short and the weight and focus are *shared* with the user, the negative space between them as they clash swords isn't conjured at all, meaning that closing it can't swap the flow of the dance and turn them into the focus where they weren't before. plus, since it's a slow and blunt weapon which needs to *hit* them, *then* take a moment to saw through them, you certainly can't have that clash/beat/explode. the damage is inflicted during a beat after the hit, so it can't exchange like a sword or like an axe. the axe is instant, the sword can be subtle. but the chainsword can only do damage during a *bind*.
the chainsword also discourages the berserker that fights on while taking small cuts, because they're the visual focus. both the sword and axe draw focus off of their body and allow a wound to appear minor, but the chainsword maintains focus on their body.
i think the chain-axe maintains the advantages of the chainsword but allows those advantages to exist inside the choreographic framework of the axe instead. the chain becomes purely an adjective on what is still fundamentally an axe for the fight, while in the case of the chainsword the choreography is in fact different from that of the sword.
it becomes an axe with an excuse to produce a gore fountain a dozen times higher than a normal axe, and its aesthetic traits are distinct. normally the axe can only have a moment of respite similar to the bind of a sword either because a heavy swing has stuck it in something or because the opponent got within its range and the axe-wielder is cross-checking them defensively. in both of these situations the axe wielder is passive. the chain-axe doesnt prevent this, but it lets them also take an aggressive position inside of the bind.
instead of being stuck inside an opponent's shield and needing to yank their axe out, there can be a moment of pause before the saw revs up and starts to rip through the shield toward the opponent's hand. likewise, normally the axe requires a big visually satisfying swing to do damage and, due to its distant blade from the handle, cannot be used in close quarters. thus during a bind the axe wielder must use a secondary weapon (including natural weapons). the chain-axe can still do that as well, but their weapon doesnt require a swing to do damage, and if they shove the enemy back during the bind they can rev the axe up and saw into them with it from the grappling position.
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niuniente · 2 years
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Hi Niu, as a fellow card reader I was wondering if you can maybe give me some advice. Namely, I'm great when doing readings for other people 10/10, but when I try to do a reading for myself I suck. The cards I draw are often nonsense and I really feel like the deck is refusing to cooperate. I feel part of this is to do with my internalised fears. For example, as an introvert when I ask "how can I meet more people?" part of me is afraid that the answer is going to be "Go to more clubs! Party! Book a flight to Thailand and mingle with drunk tourists!" (I'm exaggerating, but hopefully you get the picture 😂). Tbf I've never even gotten an answer that I absolutely didn't want to hear, mostly I just get random cards that don't make a lot of sense with the question.
Anyway, have you experienced something like this? Do you have any advice for me maybe? How do I get my personal readings to be as good as the ones I do for others?
I've heard of no one who does readings to say it is easy to read for yourself! It never is. You can't really get an outside view with no emotions, bias, judgment etc. of yourself by yourself. That's why it is challenging to read to yourself.
When I read to myself, I usually speak about myself like 3rd person, introducing my issue and my name to the Spirit the same way as I'd do with a client. It helps a bit. Still, the best reading ever I did to myself was an accident. I was reading to someone else but when the reading was done (and before the other person got it) I realized it didn't match the target person at all. I went the reading through again and what do you know; it was for me. I was thinking when I did the reading that "Wow, how nice, I can actually tell the person I'm doing this reading to all these examples from my own life which are present in this reading."
When I REALLY need guidance and can't seem to tap into it myself, there are 4 things I can try to do:
Ask from a spiritual friend their intuitive hunch or ask a small reading from my sister.
Order a reading from a professional reader (it's hard to find a good one but I've found a few who read well).
Go to Youtube and see if any of the Pick-a-card videos have any messages, especially something which would fit my own readings or hunches. If it's a specific topic with no hurry - let's say love - I see in a long period of time different readings from different readers and see what are the themes repeating in these readings.
I ask a direct answer from the Universe/Spirit. Either a very clear sign within 48h (best for Yes/No situation), or guidance in a dream. In 8/10 I get an answer and if I don't, then the issue is not big or important but will solve on its own as time passes
Then, to your situation: You know your issue is fear(s), so you have to deal with that. Otherwise, the messages and helpful guidance can't really come through fully as the Spirit has to try to speak between the lines, which makes the reading confusing.
Like you said, the Spirit will never give you any messages you're not ready to hear. :3 Sure, you can get guidance that is uncomfortable because it means you have to change something old or go outside of your comfort zone, but even still the choice is yours. You can follow the guidance or not. So, if you ask "How to get more friends" the uncomfortable answer can be "Mingle with like-minded people". Then, it's up to you if you want to continue your current state or take the guidance and go mingle with people, as uncomfortable and weird as it is. But, this isn't any different from a doctor giving you a treatment plan you don't like, an allergy forcing you to change your diet, or therapy asking you to do something you're not used to.
If you couldn't do it, the Spirit wouldn't even suggest it to you :3
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houkagokappa · 1 year
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I finished Stone Ocean!
First of all I want to talk about how I used to think people were exaggerating when they complained about Netflix Jail ruining the popularity of an anime. I figured that as long as the anime is good people will watch it and talk about it. Well, Jojo proved me wrong.
When part 6 got announced I was sooo excited for it. I saw people talking about it everywhere. When the first batch of episodes was released I saw a few promotional tweets about it, but not much else. The fact that Jojo was released through the Netflix model killed absolutely all hype for it, all discussion, fan works, memes and anticipation for the episodes to come. Some of the most fun I’ve had in the anime community was when part 5 was airing and it felt like we were all watching it together. I kept coming across content of the latest episode and excitement for what would happen in the next one every single week. It’s disheartening how part 6 flew under the radar, despite the initial hype and established fanbase. The only saving grace for me is that I really enjoy binging Jojo and having it on Netflix made it easy for me to download all the episodes on my tablet for a long train ride to a place without wifi for my Christmas break.
Now onto the actual series. I really liked Jolyne as the new protagonist! She’s probably my favourite Jojo so far. Having a female protagonist and a mostly female cast (at least at the start of the series) was a much needed breath of fresh air for the series.
I still have a hard time imagining Jotaro marrying someone and having a child, and seems like it was hard for him too. When part 4 revealed that Joseph cheated on his wife and had an illegitimate son it made me lose all respect for him. I still hate him for it, but seeing how Jotaro also ended up as a fail husband and absent father it’s gotten hilarious how it seems to run in the Joestar family. It’s a horrible character flaw, but at least it’s a huge character flaw and that makes it interesting to see in characters who are otherwise portrayed as the heroes. Of course it also works to downgrade the previous protagonist and letting the new ones shine. That said, the relationship between Jolyne and Jotaro improved a lot during the series and I appreciate the depiction of a father-daughter relationship. They’re pretty rare in anime/ manga/ fiction in general and I wish we’d get more of them!
I knew that DIO would show up again, which I had mixed feelings about. I like him a lot as a villain, but I’m not a huge fan of characters returning from the dead over and over again (looking at you Avdol and F.F.). It cheapens their deaths and the story. Luckily it turned out that all his appearances were flashbacks. I think the part that he played in the story made a lot of sense, he did travel around se recru seducing all those followers so of course some of them would still be around looking for revenge and heaven, apparently. If he would’ve been revived, which seemed plausible at one point, it would’ve been fun to see him again, but it’s probably for the best that it didn’t happen.
Pucci was okay as the villain. I had fun learning about him and his motives, but he got away with too much bullshit. As a whole I feel like part 6 had too many fights and stands that got beaten through some bs method that didn’t make any sense. It was nice seeing a lot of really strong stands, but instead of being defeated “because Araki said so” I wish that they would’ve been outsmarted even if those ways would’ve been ridiculous, or simply beaten to death through brute-force by physically stronger characters. Adding to this, it’s a little annoying when stands suddenly have additional abilities that are a little over-powered and convenient for the situation at hand, but that has always been a part of Jojo so I can’t complain too much. It makes sense for (mentally) stronger characters to get more out of their stands, but I wish there’d be more rules, guidelines or explanations for those powers and abilities.
White Snake had a really cool design that I want to give a special shout-out to. I also liked Made in Heaven. Its powers were cool, probably the strongest in the series so far (except maybe Golden Experience Requiem?) mostly thanks to the global effect. The global effect is something I also enjoyed about Weather Report. I wish we’d gotten more fights with him, I would’ve liked to see all the ways he’d control the weather to win. The frog rain was hilarious, but the slugs and rainbows were a bit much.
I'm a little disappointed by the animation. I can’t remember if it’s always been pretty simple or I simply never noticed how often we’d get a still image with nothing but some mouth movements or a visual effect. I know it’s pretty common in anime, but the fact that I noticed it because those scenes were so frequent or long is a problem. I can’t say that the series was a true joy to watch thanks to it.
I’m also a little disappointed that we only got two openings and one ending, although it’s a very minor complaint. Due to that I got scared when the final episode op started playing without the SFX, but they played me and gave us an incredible callback to Sono Chi no Sadame and all the previous parts! Hearing Roundabout again as the ending made me tear up. I love the generational structure of the series and all the passion behind it and it’s moment like those that remind me of it!
I knew that the universe would be reset, and now that I’ve seen it happen I’m not sure how to feel about it. A little bittersweet? I think I’ll have to wait and see how it affects the following parts. I’m also curious if they’re going to try to one-up Pucci and Made in Heaven. It seems hard, but luckily for Jojo I don’t think it’ll be a necessary goal.
This got super long and I’m sure there’s something I wanted to comment on that I can’t remember anymore. Oh yeah, I’m still a little mushy over how ecstatic Ai Fairouz was for being cast as Jolyne. It was such a huge dream come true for her with Jolyne being the reason she wanted to become a seiyuu and she did an AMAZING job! I was also really happy Mariya Ise got a main role as she’s one of my favourites, even though she’s been taking roles where she dies off too soon :/
All in all more Jojo is always good and I can’t wait for the next part!!!
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Dinner for Two [Ch. 5]
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Non-Idol AU, Chef AU
TW: Language, Descriptions of a Chronic Illness
CW: Food
Genre: Slow Burn Romance, Drama, Light Comedy
Pairing: Chef!Na Jaemin x Reader
YN Pronouns: Not Specified
(5/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next]
[Main Masterlist] | [Dinner for Two Masterlist]
Word Count: 5.6K
Notes: Woooooo now onto some new content!
Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.
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V. Main Course - Meat Entrée
In culinary arts, it would be no exaggeration to call this the most important part of a meal. It is the most memorable, and it is the most important of them all. Oftentimes, a multiple-coursed meal can be used to tell a story, the main dish is therefore more important, as it will exemplify the peak of a Chef's studies and understandings through it's composition and it's presentation. The meat dish tends to be the most extravagant with a wide array of flavors and presentations. Our Chef specializes in this, or so he says.
“Jaemin! You’re home late,” his mother looked up from her needlework and Jaemin just nodded his head.
“I got caught up with a few old friends, is all.”
“Oh, that’s good, I ordered dinner if you’re hungry! It’s in the fridge,” his mother returns to her handiwork. From the looks of it, it seemed to be a rather elaborate floral cross-stitch.
“I just ate, actually,” Jaemin clears his throat. “I’ll eat some tomorrow, if that’s fine.”
“Of course it is, Jaemin. How was your first day back?” She pats the couch next to her, subtly asking him to join her. Jaemin, tired from his day, couldn’t find it in him to say ‘no.’ Within seconds, he had his own needle and frame in hand. “You know, you were always such an introverted child, I used to worry a lot.”
“I bet, but at least I stayed out of trouble,” he traced along the design. “I met the Lees today, actually.”
“Did you? What did you think of them?”
“They’re an interesting bunch.”
“They are, all of them have their quirks, but I think it’s what makes them charming,” his mother chuckles. “I like (Y/N) the most, though, that one takes so much after my poor best friend.”
“Did you know her?”
“I did. Well, actually, I knew Mark’s mother first, we went to school together. The other two before her I never met, and I didn’t get to talk to Jeno’s as much since she passed shortly after Jeno’s birth, then Donghyuck’s mother separated from his father and, well, (Y/N)’s mother stayed for a while. We talked a lot before she separated from Jongsuk.”
“You know this family well, then.”
“Even after Mark’s mother passed, I was still good friends with Jongsuk.”
“That’s good. I get my introverted nature from you, you know.”
“You get a lot from me,” she laughs again. “(Y/N)’s really is like a carbon copy of Mijoo,” his mother sighs. “They’re both hard-headed.” A snicker left Jaemin’s mouth. “So you know, then? They’re both stubborn, but when it comes down to it, they’re caring to a fault. Mijoo was always the rebellious type of person, when she told me about it I was surprised she settled down to have a family. A free spirit like that doesn’t do well with kids, you know,” his mother rambled. “Then, Mijoo did what everyone expected her to do, and she left. She left Jongsuk with that poor child, it must’ve been so hard on little (Y/N), but, hey, I guess (Y/N)’s brothers are enough to fill that void.”
“When I first met them, (Y/N) was the most hostile, very protective,” Jaemin hums.
“Makes sense, then. You should know that (Y/N) helped me the most with moving,” his mother continues. “And I can understand the hostility. From what I’ve heard from Taeyong, (Y/N) had just gotten laid off a week ago, I thought it would be a blessing disguised as a curse since the poor thing’s Mark’s primary care taker, I thought it would be less stress, but I guess not,” his mother finishes. “Oh, but goodness, I probably shouldn’t air out that family’s business to you. Go rest, the trip here must have been exhausting.”
“It wasn’t too bad,” Jaemin shakes his head. Regardless, he placed the finished cross-stitch of the simple rose on the coffee table. “Mom.”
“Yes?”
“How would you describe starting from square one?”
“Well, I suppose that would mean you go back to the beginning? Start at where it started, if that makes sense. For example, when you make a mistake with your stitches here, it’s better to just redo the whole thing, start from square one as you say, and undo the row to keep track of everything and make sure no mistakes were made in the process. It’s a bit repetitive, but it’s worth it.”
“That makes sense,” Jaemin nods his head. “Thanks,” he tells her good night and walks into his room. His luggage were off to the side, ready to be unpacked, but the late time told him otherwise. Instead, he changed and laid down in his bed.
It bothered him, starting from square one. All of those efforts and all of those hours spent on perfecting his talents and now he has to return to square one? He’s almost offended. What could Jeno have even meant by that? Even as he laid down in his room, staring at the low ceilings and seeing the medals off to the side glint with the moonlight, Jaemin wondered. He took his phone out and called the first number on his favorites.
“Hello?” Taeil’s voice was tired. His mentor and his inspiration, Taeil took him in as his own when Jaemin applied to work at the then unknown Morning Dew. He was immediately taken aback by the charm of the small restaurant and even more so by its owner. The small glass topped tables, the cushioned seats, and the sheer curtains, the small restaurant had this perfect air about it that made Jaemin feel like it was home. Since then Jaemin was proud to watch the restaurant grow until it had peaked, and never once did the restaurant itself change, only the dishes served inside of it and the staff that helped to keep it alive.
Then came his loss in the Bocuse d’Or. And then he lost all of that.
“I need some advice.”
“Go to bed, it’s three in the morning, Jaemin.”
“Someone told me to start from square one. What would that entail?”
“Jesus, Jaemin, are you really asking me this right now?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what was the first dish you made?”
“The first one?”
“Yes, it can be anything. Cereal, peanut butter and jelly, what was it? Whatever it is, that’s your square one, kid.” Taeil hung up, leaving Jaemin to his own thoughts.
Square one, square one, square one…
Then, he got it.
~
“Jaemin?! What the hell are you doing here?!” Your eyes squinted in the morning sunlight and you harshly ruffled your hands through your already messy hair. Jaemin looked up from the pan, ready to explain himself to you, but was momentarily awestruck. Did you always look this unkempt this early in the morning?
“I did say I was coming over today,” he muttered after shaking his head. At least have the decency to wake up properly. Maybe fix your hair a little before leaving your room? Or even just fixing your outfit so you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed? Just have some class.
“Yeah! In the afternoon! It’s five in the goddamn morning!” You pointed at the clock on your phone. In your defense, maybe he should’ve been more aware of the time. He simply just couldn’t sleep the night prior. Only six days remained until his ultimate judgement from his mentor and he had to figure out what it was that happened at that competition and how to fix it. “Jesus Christ! How’d you even get in?!”
“Mark let me in.” Jaemin focused on the pan in front of him and moved it around slowly, letting the small cube of butter coat it evenly.
“Mark?!” Jaemin pointed to Mark with his spatula. Mark was situated on the table off to the corner of the kitchen, book in hand while he pushed his glasses up. On the table beneath him was a simple notebook and pen, and scribbled throughout its lined pages were numbers and equations that Jaemin couldn’t bother himself with.
“Morning, (Y/N),” Mark says absently.
“And why the hell are you awake?” You rubbed the side of your head, your hair getting even more messed up.
“I’m always up at this time,” Mark only shrugs. 
“You are?” You shook your head and walked over to the stove. “What are you making?” “Fried eggs.”
“Fried eggs, huh?” You sat at the counter. “Enough for all of us?” You counted the eggs on the counter.
Fried Eggs, aka, square one. It was the first thing his mother had taught him to cook. He could clearly remember the day his mother handed him an egg and asked if he wanted to help her make breakfast. He remembers the gentle way she explained things, the precise measurements she made, and the swift movements while cooking. It was this first time that Jaemin realized he loved cooking. It had to be, at least. He had no further recollection of anything before hand. He cracked the egg and left the yolk and whites on the pan while he reached for the salt and pepper.
“Any requests?” He asks.
“Over medium,” you responded.
“Alright, over easy for Mark, over medium for you,” Jaemin mutters. “You know what the other guys like?”
“Over well for Jeno and Taeyong,” Mark answers. “Ten likes his over easy too, and I think Hyuck likes it sunny side up.”
“Perfect then,” Jaemin chose to work on Mark’s first. He flipped the egg as soon as he got back, it should be ready at the very least, then he has to wait at least a minute for it to be done. Once it was, he prepared it nicely and plated it over rice, handing it to Mark.
“Thanks,” Mark moves it aside. “I’ll wait for the others,” he adds. Ten’s then, best to start with the shortest cooking times and work up. It was done quickly and the next was yours. Egg on pan, check, wait for a moment for the whites to cook, check, flip, two minutes, wait, and done. He prepared it similarly to Mark’s and placed it in front of you.
“Hm…” you looked at it with a discerning eye, after yesterday’s mishap, you were rightfully skeptical. However, it is just an egg, he couldn’t screw that one up, could he? You watched him intently while he prepared the other eggs.
“Where’s Taeyong?” He asks.
“He should be back from the city in a couple of minutes,” you said this as you checked the clock. “He works part time at a university library there,” you explained.
“Two jobs then?”
“Three. He works for Mr. and Mrs. Hyun sometimes too,” you continued.
“Is that so,” Jaemin finished Jeno and Taeyong’s eggs, placing them aside for now and getting to work on Haechan’s.
“Whoa, there a party here?” Speak of the devil and he shall arrive. Haechan slid into the table, sitting parallel from Mark. “Hey, Jaemin, cooking breakfast for us? I’m touched.”
“I’m just starting from square one,” he says. He finishes Hyuck’s egg and places it in front of him. “Where’s Jeno?”
“Probably still asleep,” you sighed. “I’ll go wake him up,” you got up and disappeared into the hallway.
“Did you eat already too, Jaemin?” Mark asks. Jaemin nods. Lying through his teeth, really, but he could hardly think about it at the moment. He was more preoccupied with the sibling’s opinion. He initially pondered the possibility that they were just pulling his leg, being mean for the sake of being mean, but there was truth in their words. The agujjim yesterday was dreadful, will the eggs turn out the same way? The agujjim was bland, one of the worst fate’s any of his food ever had, was it possible to make a simple egg bland too? The simplest forms of seasoning were salt and pepper, and even so if one was too much it could overpower the entire dish. He had to take care not to do that.
“And the king has arrived,” you dragged a half asleep Jeno into the kitchen, who essentially walked with his eyes closed. “Look alive, Jeno, your boyfriend is here.”
“My what now?” Jeno mumbled as you sat him down at the counter. He folded his arms over the table and laid his head down on them, promptly drifting back to sleep.
“He wouldn’t stop talking about you when he came back,” you rubbed his head softly as he snored quietly. “I think you have a new fan,” you joked. Jaemin finished the next round of eggs and slid them in front of Jeno, who peeled one eye open and looked at it.
“Ooh… it���s like we have a personal chef, that would be nice,” Jeno hums and nods his head against his arms. “Where’s Taeyong?” As if he was summoned, the door opened and the jangle of keys caught everyone’s attention.
“Home, apparently,” you answered. And right on time for Jaemin to finish up Taeyong’s breakfast. The eldest sibling walked in, undoing his tie in the process and holding a cup of coffee. “Maybe he just had to organize books this time, it’s not often he comes home before noon,” you said aloud.
“Jaemin, you’re here early,” Taeyong blinks once with surprise.
“Over well?” Jaemin offers the plated eggs to him. Taeyong looks at it, then around to the others, before he finally takes it and slides next to Mark. You and Jeno moved over to the table and were soon joined by Jaemin standing at the head of it.
“Where’s Ten?” You ask, looking at Haechan.
“Probably getting his ‘beauty rest,’” Haechan says with a mocking tone as he rolls his eyes. “(Y/N), you go wake him up.”
“Me? No way! He’s going to give me hell for it again! Taeyong, can you do it?”
“And disturb the slumbering beast? His eggs can go cold,” Taeyong shakes his head.
“Well, give it a shot, then” Jaemin crosses his arms. With a wary glance towards each other, each of the siblings took a bite at the same time. Their faces unreadable and their voices silent, Jaemin felt anxiety well up inside of him as each took their time.
“Tastes like eggs,” you shrugged and took another bite. “But nothing more than that,” you continued. A sigh of relief left Jaemin’s mouth. Thank god, he didn’t mess this up. It was only three ingredients: eggs, butter, and salt.
“Tastes like something I’d get at a diner though,” Jeno mumbles. Taeyong kicks his leg under the table and he winces. “What? He wanted some genuine critiques, so I gave it to him!”
“There’s no need to be rude about it, Jeno,” Taeyong clears his throat. Mark shifts in his seat.
“It’s kind of salty,” Mark pushes it around the plate and you got up.
“Hold on, I’ll make you another one,” you grabbed the plate before he could protest and slid it onto Jeno’s plate, who ate it without another word.
“I could—”
“It’s fine,” you cut Jaemin off and grabbed another egg from the fridge, preparing it for Mark. Jaemin sat on the counter now, watching your moves. You were Mark’s primary caretaker, apparently, maybe he could learn a thing or two from how you cooked. Then you cracked the egg and half the shell fell into the pan. “Shit…”
Maybe not, then.
You took the shell out and moved the egg around the pan, breaking the whites every so now and then to make sure it cooks evenly. What was he thinking? Observing your technique, what technique? You just cooked, it was clear that you did it because you had to, not because you wanted to. That was the difference between both you and him, wasn’t it? And to think he agreed to letting you teach him the ropes of cooking agujjim, he’s surprised of himself. 
“How many do you want, Mark?”
“Two, please.”
“Got it,” you grabbed two more eggs from the fridge. Jaemin kept his eyes on the egg frying in front of him, the butter on the pan burning at the edges and crisping the edges of the egg. Back in Morning Dew, Jisung used to get scolded for allowing the butter to burn like that, but Jaemin would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the slight crisp at the edges. “Jaemin, how do you take your eggs?”
“Sorry?” Jaemin shook his head and looked at you and you rose an eyebrow while you waited for his answer.
“I know you haven’t eaten yet, don’t lie. Now how do you like your eggs?” You tapped your fingertips against the counter next to the stove.
“I… It’s fine, really,” Jaemin shook his hand in front of him, he wasn’t feeling hungry and he didn’t want to trouble you.
“Either you tell me or you’re getting this sunny side up,” you pointed at the egg on the pan with your spatula and Jaemin looked between it and you.
“… Over medium,” something told him that you weren’t going to relent, it was probably his mother’s words echoing in his ears.
“There we go then,” you smiled and flipped the egg in the pan. After a few moments, you flipped it onto a plate and slid it towards him, then moving on to Mark’s eggs. He looked at the egg in front of him. Over medium, just like he asked. The edges were crisped and the yolk had broken a little but not enough for it to look too messy. It looked exactly like it was supposed to with the few imperfections. “If you want, like, furikake or something it’s in the cabinet over there,” you nudged your head to your right as you finished Mark’s breakfast and handed it to him.
“It’s fine, thank you for the offer though,” he said as he followed you, holding the plate in one hand and taking the fork you handed him with another.
“Thanks, (Y/N),” Mark continues his meal and flips to the next page of his book. Jaemin only stared at the egg a bit longer, cutting into it with the side of his fork. The yolk wasn’t too runny, he’ll give you that. The edges had some resistance to the silverware, but it’s not something he’s took picky about.
“Well, are you going to eat it or stare at it?” You ask.
“I get it, (Y/N)’s cooking is revolting,” Haechan teases. You tugged on his ear harshly. “Ow, ow ow! Damn, I was just joking!”
“You’re revolting,” you fired back. Haechan gasped loudly.
“Taeyong, did you hear that?! Did you hear what (Y/N) just said?! It’s the same as (Y/N) just slapping me across the face!”
“Your eggs are getting cold, Donghyuck,” Taeyong answers calmly. The argument continued on, but Jaemin remained focused on one thing. He ate his first bite of the simple fried egg, and immediately he fell silent. His eyes grew wide and his chewing slowed. You caught onto this and temporarily halted your spar with your brother.
“How is it? It’s no Michelin meal, but—”
“How?” Jaemin cut you off. You blinked once. Were you making a fool out of him? Did you have previous experiences that you just decided not to tell him about? His mother mentioned that you got laid off at your last job, but what was that?
“I’m sorry?”
“How did you get it to taste this way?”
“Damn! I didn’t think it was that bad!” You shook your head.
“No, no, you’re misunderstanding me,” Jaemin took another bite to make sure he wasn’t imagining it, and sure enough, the facts were in front of him. 
“What’s wrong with it?” Taeyong asks, now intrigued by the exchange happening next to him.
“This is the best egg I’ve ever had in my entire life,” he says. You blinked again, your eyes somewhat wide with surprise. Then, the room filled with laughter coming from all siblings. Granted, Jaemin understood where they were coming from this time, he couldn’t believe the sentence left his mouth at all.
“Jaemin! No need to be like that, it’s just an egg,” you said between laughs.
“Holy shit, are you sure you’re a luxury chef, man? (Y/N) learned how to cook eggs off of WikiHow,” Haechan was nearly out of breath as he hit the table with his fist. As this happened, Jeno reached over to Mark’s plate to grab a bite, and the latter blocked Jeno’s fork with his own.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to taste (Y/N)’s god tier fried egg,” Jeno shrugs.
“No,” Mark slides his plate away.
“Don’t be rude!”
“Just ask (Y/N) to make another one!”
“Share!” Jeno stands up and Mark gasps.
“Sit down!” Taeyong pulls Jeno back into his seat and grabs Mark’s plate on the way, placing some of the egg on Jeno’s plate before giving it back to Mark. Jeno eats it whole before Mark could say anything more.
“Oh, yeah, you do something different, (Y/N)?” Jeno asks after he finishes it.
“Nope, maybe I added more salt, but that was it,” you shook your head.
“You really don’t know?” Jaemin asks. He cuts another piece of the egg off and tastes it again. It can’t be the salt, no, such a thing has little impact on a simple fried egg. Jaemin couldn’t quite place his finger on it, what was it about this egg that was just that good? The flavor just felt so whole, the way the yolk tasted and the way it mixed with the whites was very near perfect to him, it was a balance that not even his mentor could have done. But if this simple egg was this good, he could only imagine what your rendition of agujjim tasted like. He cuts another piece off. “(Y/N).”
“Yeah?” As you opened your mouth, he pushed the fork into it and you closed your mouth over it out of habit. The room fell silent, save for Haechan’s loud gasp. Jaemin pulled the fork away and you chewed slowly, the whole time keeping a confused look on your face. Soon, satisfaction was clear on your features. “Oh, shoot, I guess I did cook a good egg today,” you smiled.
“Jaemin! You flirt!” Haechan gasps again. Taeyong taps Haechan’s plate and points to the unfinished eggs. Jaemin steps in front of you, placing the plate down and taking both of your hands in his. His first immediate observation was how rough they were, calloused at some parts, and slightly buttery at others, the next thing he noticed was the confusion on your face, the way your brows furrowed and the way your eyes looked every but to him, he understood it all. He just couldn’t understand why he had settled with what he was about to do.
“Yes?” You asked, finally settling your sights on him. Jaemin swallowed down his pride, it was clear to him what he had to do. Jaemin had devoted a majority of his life to learning how to best understand the creation and preparation of food, and yet here he was, utterly blown away by a simple fried egg, he didn’t believe it himself and it was clear that you didn’t believe it either from the dumbstruck shock on your face. He had the same two words that he said when he first walked into the Morning Dew in mind.
“Teach me.”
~
It was now two hours into the afternoon, after the fiasco in the morning, the siblings had rushed him out to “talk” about what just happened. Within a few minutes, you had emerged, shoved Haechan back inside, and agreed to help him out just the same as you offered before, with the caveat that he returned later in the afternoon since you and your brothers had errands to run. With that Jaemin returned home.
“And that’s about all that happened,” Jaemin says into the speaker of his phone.
“Hyung, that’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress to figuring out what happened,” Jisung’s voice was chipper over the phone. “I can’t wait to see you in six days.”
“Six days can’t come any faster…” Jaemin sighs. “I just wish it would pass by sooner.”
“Take all the time you need! Your plants are being well taken care of,” Jisung chuckles. “Tell me more about this Lee (Y/N), though. It’s rare for you to compliment other’s cooking like that.”
“I don’t know much myself. All I know is that (Y/N) is Mark’s primary care taker and probably has a lot of cooking experience from that, but nothing professional according to my mother,” he thought back to you. What was it about that egg that made it so good? He watched you the entire time and still you’d followed the book. Butter the pan, crack egg, add salt, flip, and serve. “Jisung, I’m not kidding when I tell you that egg was delicious.” Jisung started laughing on the other end. “I know, it’s hilarious, it’s just a damn egg and I can’t get it out of my mind.”
“Hyung, maybe traveling has made you lose your mind.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking,” Jaemin sighs. “I asked (Y/N) to cook agujjim next.”
“Wow, you really are desperate, hyung.”
“How about you? How’s your ‘vacation’ going?”
“Well… about that…” Jisung made a small squeaking noise.
“Jisung, are you watching the milk boil?” Taeil’s voice was loud and clear. Jaemin stopped pacing.
“You’re back at work?”
“Yeah… I never left, actually,” Jisung’s voice was remorseful. “I have to go, good luck with everything.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Jaemin waited for Jisung to hang up before leaving his room. Work, Jisung never left, it was just him. Him and his disgraceful defeat that led his boss to send him away from the kitchen he’d learned to call his home. He was glad, though, that Jisung still had a chance to prove himself, a chance to remain with the ingredients and knives. Jisung had a natural talent in cooking while Jaemin had to work for it, to put his very being into learning the culinary arts. Jisung just had a knack for it, an uncanny ability to make any combination of ingredients divine. True, Jaemin had some envy for his junior, but it was never something he’d acted upon. If anything, Jisung’s natural talent was actually a weakness, he’d grown complacent in a lot of his techniques and tended to cut corners, corners that Jaemin would catch onto instead to help.
Still, though, Taeil kept Jisung, not him. And even when Jaemin returns, his employment is conditional.
Jaemin paced his room. He had to know your secret, surely, you were lying to him. You must have had some experience in a professional kitchen because how on earth did you make a fried egg taste so good? Was it the seasoning? No, impossible, you made it the same way he did, he watched you the entire time. If anything, you made a couple of mistakes along the way. Even the crisps at the edges were perfect. He was envious of you. He was in denial at first, granted, how could a simple home cook be this good in cooking? Even Jisung’s meals didn’t have the same amount of flavor as yours! You were an anomaly to him, and he had hoped that maybe you’d share your secrets with him. How? He means it when he says that he studied your method through and through. The way your hands prepared everything, the way you moved around the kitchen, and even the way you muttered things to yourself as you cooked, but still Jaemin failed to see the difference between you two. You were both cooking, what was different?
It was driving him insane. He was practically counting down the minutes before he returned to your household, and still he was losing his mind. Just one more hour and then he’d be able to properly watch you work, to prepare the dish that was his downfall. It would be today that he learns just what went wrong.
~
“Take that back!” You covered your face with your hand. You swung the plastic bag harshly towards Ten, who only laughed in response.
“Oh my god, relax, (Y/N)! It’s okay to have a crush!” Ten has a Cheshire smile and you could only scream in your hands.
“Why was he staring at me so much oh my god, I’m kind of freaking out right now,” you fanned yourself.
“Maybe he likes you too, who knows?”
“Don’t say weird things like that, you know I’m too busy,” you kicked a rock on the side of the road and shook your head. “Plus, he’s way out of my league anyway.”
“Excuse me?! You’re out of his league!” Ten gasps. “Besides, that egg he made me this morning tasted like shit.”
“Ten! No need to be rude, goodness,” you nudged him harshly. “Plus… he’s going back home, right? After this week?”
“All the more reason to shoot your shot, my favorite sibling,” Ten continues to egg you on and you sighed. “Seriously, though, (Y/N), this is the most fun I’ve seen you had in a while, it’s good for you,” he says.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I can be fun,” you glared.
“Not when you look at me like that,” Ten huffs. You both come to a stop by the gardens and spot Jeno with his head down. Before either of you could say ‘hi,’ you were quick to notice Mrs. Jung scolding the poor boy. “Ugh… what a brute, hard to believe we’re even related,” Ten shakes his head and you frowned.
“At least he has a job though,” you stepped away first and Ten followed, heaving the bag over his shoulder. “Thanks for coming out with me, Ten, I hate going out here alone.”
“Yeah, of course, it’s no problem, it’s my day off anyway,” Ten says. He rolls his shoulders and his grin falls flat. “But… about what we were talking about earlier, (Y/N)—”
“I know, I know, I won’t tell dad, he’ll flip if either of us mention it to him,” you shook your head and looked down into your bag, your wallet was nearly mocking you.
To put things short, you were trying to leave. You had been saving up for years, taking odd jobs here and there just to save up enough for the first bus ticket out of this old place. And you’d been doing so well to hide it too, none of your siblings caught on until Ten, Ten who couldn’t keep his hands to himself and found your stash. Part of the reason why you asked him to come with you was so you could talk about it with him, after all, what brother would want his sister to run away?
“(Y/N), as much as I support you, I also support you doing this the right way,” Ten shakes his head. “The only reason why I think dad would say no is because of…” Ten trailed, not wanting to place the blame on anyone.
“Because of Mark,” you filled in for him. “No need to sugarcoat it, Ten. Plus, I wouldn’t want to leave Mark behind anyway, he’s my brother,” you explained. “I’d been taking care of him for so long that I don’t even remember when I didn’t,” you continued. You didn’t hate Mark, no one did. You didn’t want to say you pitied him either because of his condition because it was the last thing Mark wanted. But between juggling job searching and taking care of Mark there was no room for you to fall in love.
Whatever feelings were beginning to fester around Jaemin, you had to bury them down as deep as possible. It’s not something you could afford to indulge in, not when you were so close to getting out of here. You already had a plan for Mark, you had written up care instructions and everything else in a way that all your brothers could understand. You had enough money for a bus ticket, all you needed was enough to get started and you’d be off on your own.
The only thing that held you back was your father. To ask his blessing was the hardest thing any of the children could do. It was a miracle that he let Taeyong and Ten work outside of the town and, even then, they had to return home nearly every day. It’s not that your father was unreasonable, it was that he had seen so many people come and go that he was tired of it, and maybe a little scared if he’d admitted it. All of his lovers left. They either died or they divorced. You think your mother was the most to blame, though. She stayed the longest according to Taeyong, and when she left she didn’t just break your father’s heart.
“Well, (Y/N), when you ask dad the impossible, I’ll support you, if one of us is getting out of this hellhole, it should be you,” he pats your shoulder and pulls out his keys from his pocket just as you neared the house again. “Anyway, when are you and Jeno going to battle it out for Jaemin’s heart?”
“Oh, shut up, Ten!”
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brittlebutch · 1 year
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Is The Accountant any good? I remember there being arguments about it when it first came out, but I’ve never actually seen it. I don’t wanna watch something that has bad representation, but since you just posted about it I figure I can ask: did the writers do their research?
I'll be upfront that I'm not wholly sure how well I can answer this question. Ultimately I think trying to watch things 'For Representation' is kind of a sunk-cost game, especially when it comes to something as diverse as Autism - I think at the end of the day what's considered 'good representation' and what's 'bad representation' is largely going to come down to Simply Personal Preference (with some notable exceptions like Music who shit the bed across the board). If I say I think the movie is fine, there's going to be a bunch of people who think it's dogshit and so on. These days I mostly try to judge things as A Story, not For Representation, does this make sense?
I will try to answer it though. Ultimately, I think The Accountant tells a decent story. I've watched this movie a few times and while I wouldn't list it as A Favorite of mine, I also enjoy watching it when I happen to come across it. A bare bones answer to your question 'did the writers do their research?' - Yes, I think they did. The details of this response have gotten away from me because I have a tendency to overexplain so I will be putting the rest of this under a cut!
TL;DR tho - Is it a good movie? I mean, I've watched it more than once, and I'm not someone who will sit through things I don't like. I think it does a decent enough job with its autistic character if you like the genre. The Accountant is a thriller that centers violence, which is why a lot of people do not like it, but that's The Story it's telling. If that kind of genre bothers you, you probably wouldn't enjoy this movie. WARNING though because the film does have scenes with bright flashing lights that may trigger photosensitivity in viewers.
The main character is autistic, and the movie does not shy away from this but also doesn't necessarily Dwell on it. It's brought up multiple times, but I don't think it's ever especially Emphasized? I would say it's treated like any other character trait. Chris's ability with math may be a savant-like skill, but mileage on this may vary wrt whether this bothers you (and also if the movie ever defines it like this? I think the synopsis does, but I can't remember if it's in the Script)
He's blunt and terse in social situations, but not outwardly/exaggeratedly rude or mean to others. While it feels fairly obvious he's discomfited by small talk, he makes an effort to navigate it in an effort to avoid being rude or offensive towards others - the tone of this feels more 'I want to avoid causing unnecessary conflict/hurt feelings' and less 'I have to Act Normal to get people to like me', Chris is very solitary and seems to like this, although he does have people he gets along with well. He has a flat affect and a monotone - although there are moments when he's more excited/relaxed and has more facial/tone variation. He seems to split pretty evenly on making (or faking) eye-contact and looking in fully other directions in conversations. He also stims most notably with a repetitive phrase he uses to help center/calm himself down. The actor portrays these traits in a way I would deem realistic - it's not exaggerated or caricature like/offensive, although I'm almost certain the actor himself is not autistic (which some people will take issue with).
I can't tell if his interactions with Dana are meant to be interpreted as somewhat romantic in nature? I think she comes close to kissing him once, but he gets distracted and ultimately seems to Like Her without necessarily being Interested in Her (at least to my interpretation). He does go out of his way to defend her - apparently out of character for him to some degree - but I can't tell how much of this is Romantic Undertones and how much is simply Injustice / the fact that they get along. Honestly, I kind of interpret Dana as autistic as well, and kind of view their interactions through that lens, but I can't say for sure that this was the story's Intent. This is worth noting only in as much as I wanted to mention autistic Dana lol - i don't identify myself as aro/ace but i'm also not particularly interested in Relationships, so I don't feel particularly compelled to comment on whether the inclusion or exclusion of romance involving autistic characters is Good or Bad.
The movie also features a character whose role is more or less to be The Spokesperson About Autism - the one who makes the most effort to actually Define it in film to the audience. This is the man who runs the institute where Chris almost got an education, who speaks to Chris's parents when he was a child and makes a brief reappearance at the end. He very explicitly states that autism is not some Scary Disorder that's Stealing Children (I believe both conversations center parents who speak derisively about having an autistic child and say they'd like to believe there's a Normal Kid inside their autistic one, and he explicitly dismisses this notion/attitude - "your son's not less than, he's different"). He also says that attempting to force autistic children to meet NT standards is not going to work - you have to work with them where they're at and accommodate them sufficiently, which is true and a very Healthy way to approach raising autistic children. I would consider this the most Easily Noted way the film shows how/what its writers researched - I would say Largely Positive.
He does mention learning eye-contact / nonverbal cues when talking about child-Chris's potential education, but I don't necessarily consider this an inherent Flaw, but also acknowledge that's Personal Interpretation. Worth noting that another character in this same scene is proof they aren't Forcing compliance or NT-standard communication (an aide is attempting to put another autistic child in shoes, and when she refuses by kicking them off and wiggling around, the aide stops and says 'okay, no shoes today' and takes the shoes and leaves), and a similar conversation at the end of the movie - set in the Present - does not include any mention of learning how to mask, and instead explicitly focuses on the importance of NT people learning how to effectively communicate with/understand autistic people rather than trying to force the inverse.
Chris does at one point define himself as 'high-functioning', I'm not sure whether the movie itself believes in this dichotomy. The guy who runs the Institute - the movie's literal Autism Spokesperson - does not seem to use or approve of them. Another autistic character in the film is not labeled in this way and is a clear subversion of this kind of dichotomy as well. Chris did not learn about autism from someone who actually Knows About autism, he learned about it from his dad who Primarily seemed to focus on teaching Chris how to mask/fight. Is this Good Rep? IDK - it's likely an NT viewer wouldn't pick up on this distinction, so I can't say for sure whether this is a Flaw or not.
The way Chris's sensory issues are handled Is a little sketch (his dad did not believe in accommodating him in any way - this often is portrayed by the film as child abuse - and taught him to deliberately overstimulate himself with bright flashing lights and loud music while doing DPT with a leg roller in an attempt to desensitize him, because "The real world is not sensory-friendly". I'm not Entirely sure whether the movie wants us to believe this works well or not - there are two notable scenes where Chris does this, one where he reaches his timer goal and one where he winds up melting down instead, so I'm not entirely certain what the audience takeaway is meant to be? Ultimately though, I don't think Chris's father is framed by the film as a Good Dad even though Chris loves him and believes him to be one. This might just be my interpretation and not the film's intention though - I have not sought out any BTS info for this movie.
There are several scenes that feature Chris as a child having violent/disruptive meltdowns - there can be mixed feelings about this. Some people might find them voyeuristic / a negative trait they're uncomfortable with. Chris's mom leaves because she cannot handle his meltdowns and Also because she resents Chris's father for not letting Chris stay at the institute to learn. Chris's father helps him through meltdowns via repeating a nursery rhyme and hugging him to his chest for the pressure (it Could arguably be read as restraining, but Chris is never Pinned Down to the Ground outside of an arrest scene, so I would consider it more DPT than 'abusive restraint'). I feel it's inauthentic to try avoiding the issue of meltdowns when it comes to portraying autism in media - they're a fact of life. My opinion on seeing NT actors portray them tends to vary. I would consider this a personal preference thing again - what are you willing to view/tolerate? His meltdowns Are, I believe, framed as wholly separate from his ability to fight/shoot though - they aren't conflated or linked. Chris's violence is, I think, wholly attributed to the way his father raised him, not something tied to him being autistic, he has a NT brother who shares the same use/level of violence.
Chris is a Morally Grey Character though - he does good things, he does bad things, the movie does not shy away from either, and some people take issue with this. [BTW when I say 'take issue with', I do not necessarily mean to deride this opinion or mock people who hold it. Simply pointing out where I have seen critique aimed.] Ultimately, this character trait is a feature of the Story and its Genre not in its attempt to Represent Autism - I think I've seen people critique this story by saying things like 'it's acting like he's a killer because he's autistic, as if all low-empathy people are killers, and that's Bad Representation because NT people will see it and think That's what defines autism' but this rings false to me on a variety of levels.
For one, Chris is not shown to have particularly low empathy. Even if he was low-empathy, Chris is shown to care deeply about a variety of other characters (these Are two different traits btw, 'empathy' and 'caring about other people' are not intrinsically linked) - so there's no basis to the claim that his Autism is what singles him out from other people as a reason he does or does not kill. Again, Chris's ability/willingness to fight is framed almost entirely as a result of the way his father raised him, not as having anything to do with him being autistic.
It's also, as I said, the GENRE.
One major reason I don't like categorizing things by Good/Bad Representation is because 'Representation' does not necessarily align with Telling A Story. If, in order to be Good Representation, a character Must be Morally Good, then this severely limits the amount of stories one can tell, and I'm someone who enjoys tragedies/horrors/complicated stories involving complicated/morally-gray characters. This is what I mean when I say Good/Bad Representation is largely a conversation of Preferences - I like it when I can see character I relate to in the kinds of stories I like to watch. Other people might try to claim that trying to include autistic characters in these stories is inherently Bad Representation because they're stories about 'Bad People'. Preference all the way down.
[ALSO because the notion of what traits make up 'good rep' and which are 'bad rep' is completely subjective, which I've talked about before. If someone says the film is Bad Rep because Chris is 'too blunt/un-emotive and that's a stereotype' I'm fundamentally going to disagree because I am a person who is blunt and has a flat affect, and so I would consider the inclusion of those traits (provided they aren't being actively Mocked by the material) good representation. It's always going to be a subjective conversation to some degree, there are no universally objective ways to rank/discuss the topic).]
Ultimately, I don't know how to end this because I did my tl;dr before I got this far. I wouldn't call it revolutionary representation and probably wouldn't ever really be like 'oh This is the film you want to watch to understand autism', because it's not really About autism. It's about a guy who works as an accountant for regular people AND criminals and who is extremely good at fighting to defend himself / seek revenge when he wants it. This guy also happens to be autistic. Does this make sense? I hope I've managed to answer your question somehow lmfao.
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taegularities · 1 year
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I don't think I've ever mentioned that I was on anon before, so it's totally okay. I just recently came across the specific ask saved in my bookmarks (because I cherish every author interaction with my whole heart), so that's what reminded me that I had even sent it.
It took me a while to build up the courage and actually interact with anything and anyone on here, and I remember going over things so many times to make sure that everything I'm saying makes sense and it's not too much. And look at me now, rambling in every single one of my reviews lmao.
But really, the important thing that I wanted to say is that I literally squeal out loud and get the biggest smile on my face when I see that you've reblogged one of my reviews or answered my asks. I am so glad that I made the decision to reach out because I love talking to you, both about your writing and not. Sorry that I've said it a million times now, but it is how I feel 💞💞💞
WAH YOU FOUND THE ASK. omg, it sounds 100% like you haha and i remember it, too! the day when everyone had this crazy as heck theory that he might have gotten a tattoo for her or whuteva 🙄
i absolutely get having to gather courage. i can absolutely assure you though that your reviews make sense; a lot of times you think of things that didn't even cross my mind. or you throw in theories that are spot on (hence my abundant use of "you're right" lmao), but i love love love your rambling so much, istg, we don't deserve you </3
and ivi, same, whenever i see that you've reblogged a chapter or sent an ask, i get so excited bc i enjoy reading through them all so much, i'm not even exaggerating 😭 so thank you for doing everything you do. and don't apologise, i must have thanked you for everything like a hundred and million times lmao so rambling frens unite <3
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