#i was fighting for my life trying to get an even print..... there's like 4 more i didn't include but they're also uneven LOL

[koddlet]

lino of the borowski!!

#i was fighting for my life trying to get an even print..... there's like 4 more i didn't include but they're also uneven LOL #mae borowski #night in the woods #nitw #linoprint #linocut #printmaking #analogue art #gif

[finnsbubblegum]

I’m Sorry (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: car accident, miscarriages (let me know if i missed any)

Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah. 

Words count: 1.7k

A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 15 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm so grateful for all of you! Thank you for your comments, reblogs, and likes ❤️ There are still more chapters for this series so stay tuned! Love you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Epilogue

“Should we go to my parents house this weekend and tell them?” You were sitting on the exam bed while waiting for the doctor to print your sonogram picture.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” Joel nodded.

“Sorry it took so long. Here, I printed five for you. And don’t forget to get the vitamins at the pharmacy before you leave.” The doctor passed you the sonogram pictures and a prescription.

“Thank you, doc.” You and Joel thanked her.

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you on our next appointment.” She smiled.

“Do you want to wait here and sit while I get this?” Joel raised the prescription. 

“I’ll come with you.” You linked your arms to Joel’s.

“Hi, Joel.” A familiar woman and man stopped in front of the two of you.

Joel sighed. He didn’t expect to meet his ex-wife and her boyfriend again. At the obgyn in all of the places? 

“Hi.” You greeted them with a forced smile.

“Congratulations to both of you.” She pointed at the sonogram picture in Joel’s hand.

“Thank you.” You looked at her while you rubbed Joel’s arms.

“Congratulations to you too.” You pointed your eyes to her protruding belly.

Joel’s ex-wife was pregnant with her current boyfriend. She was bigger than you so it was obvious.

“I hope you’ll be a good mom this time.” Joel sarcastically said to his ex-wife. 

Even though it had been a few years, he was still hurt by her and he still hated her. He could never forgive her for what she had done. She failed her daughter but why did God give her a second chance to be a mother? He wondered. Life was not fair.

“It’s okay.” She grabbed her boyfriend's wrist as he stepped forward to Joel almost starting a fight.

“I will, Joel. I’m sorry. I hope to see Sarah sometime.” She brought up Sarah.

Joel groaned and rolled his eyes. You rubbed his arms with your thumb to calm him.

“Sure, we can set a time.” You smiled at her.

Joel turned his head to you and widened his eyes. He wanted to make his ex wife suffer by not allowing her to meet her daughter. 

“Thank you, (y/n). I hope you and your baby are healthy.” She put her hands on your upper arm.

“You too.” You smiled and parted ways.

In the car

“You okay, there?” You asked Joel as he was quiet since your meeting with his ex-wife.

He stayed quiet, not answering you.

“Joel, baby?” You called him.

He only hummed and looked straight while driving.

“I get it. You’re mad at me.” You nodded, holding the seatbelt on your chest.

“Yes, I’m mad at you. What the fuck was that?!” He raised his voice.

You trembled. Hands gripping your seatbelt tighter.

“You’ll let her see Sarah?!” He hit the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry. I just thought-I’m pregnant now and I know how a mother is connected to her baby. She grew Sarah inside her for 9 months, Joel.” You started sobbing.

“Don’t you dare cry now.” Joel growled.

“Joel, please. I’m sorry.” You cried.

“Fine, I’ll call her and tell her she can’t see Sarah anymore. If that’s what you want.” You took out your phone.

“Don’t.” Joel started driving faster.

“What do I do? What do you want me to do?” You sobbed.

Joel cleared his throat and didn’t answer you.

“Joel! Slow down! You’re gonna get us killed!” You screamed.

He kept on pressing the gas pedal and speeding up.

“Joel! Please! Stop the car! Stop it!” You cried as you screamed.

Joel hit the brake suddenly as he saw the red light. You panted as the car stopped so suddenly. Then the light turned green and Joel pressed on the gas pedal again.

"Baby, I'm sor-" Joel didn't finish his sentence. 

*car crash*

A speeding car suddenly crashed from the left side. Joel’s reflex tried his best to turn the car avoiding the crash but the car turned in circles. You screamed as the car turned. Your hand instinctively wrapped around your belly protecting your baby inside your belly. You hit your head as the car crashed. You and Joel blacked out for a moment. 

“Baby..” Joel opened his eyes and groaned at the pain. 

Joel turned his head to you but you were unconscious. He panicked and hurriedly took off his seatbelt. He was shaking.

“Baby, can you hear me?” His bloody hands cupped your cheeks.

“Baby, open your eyes. Open your eyes for me, baby, please.” Joel tapped your cheeks with his palms and sobbed.

Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurry. You blinked your eyes a few times as you heard his voice. All you could see was him, blood and pieces of glass everywhere.

“Where are you hurt?” Joel looked up and down to your body.

“J-joel..” You called his name.

“Baby, you hurt? Tell me.” He cupped your cheeks.

“Wait here. I’ll get you out.” Joel immediately got out of the car and ran to your side. 

He was in pain but he ignored it. Your safety was his priority. You were more important than him. 

“Come here, put your arms around me. I got you, baby. I got you.” Joel put his arms around you to help you out ignoring his pain.

“J-joel. I’m in pain.” You shakily put your hand on your abdomen and squeezed it.

“I know, I know. I need to get you out first. Come on.” Joel tried to lift you.

“Joel, the baby.. I can’t lose the baby.” You cried as you felt warm liquid flowing to your thigh.

“Shit.” Joel looked down to your skirt and saw blood.

“Joel..” You cried looking through his eyes.

“Eyes on me, baby. Eyes on me. Don’t look down.” He tried not to panic so you didn’t panic.

“Joel, everything hurts..” You cried on his shoulder as he dragged you out of the car. 

“Somebody call the ambulance!” Joel shouted.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.” Joel cradled your head as he laid you on the ground.

Thankfully, a stranger called an ambulance and they came right away. The paramedic laid you on the wheeled stretcher and Joel’s heart broke. He blamed himself. He didn’t know what he should do. He followed you inside the ambulance and held your hand throughout the way to the hospital. You squeezed his hand in pain and he brought your hand to his lips.

“Please help my wife. She’s pregnant.” Joel begged the nurse as she brought you inside.

“Sir, you need to get treated too.” The nurse invited him to the examination bed to get treated.

Joel’s head was bleeding. His bones probably dislocated or fractured but he didn’t care. His focus was only you. He felt extremely guilty and his chest hurt. 

“Sir, we’re sending your wife to the operating room. It’s best if you get treated while you wait.” The nurse repeated again.

“Save her, please.” Joel sobbed. 

“We’ll try our best.” The nurse smiled.

Then Joel followed the nurse and got treated. He called Tommy to watch Sarah for a while but he told him not to tell Sarah what happened. Then he waited for a few hours and shook his legs in anxiety. Joel stood up right away when you were brought out from the operating room.

“How is she?” Joel asked the doctor with his casted arm.

“Sir, I’m so sorry for your loss. We couldn’t save your baby. And your wife needs a lot of rest. We need you to stay strong for her.” The doctor felt bad for telling Joel such bad news.

Joel cried as he looked at your weak body laying on the hospital bed. The nurses pushed your bed to your room while Joel followed beside you. Joel stayed beside you all the time when you were still sleeping because of the drugs.  He slept resting his head on the bed beside you, holding your hand, never letting you go. In his mind, he kept thinking how he would tell you when you regain your consciousness.

“Joel?” You whispered as you opened your eyes a little.

Joel raised his head right away when he heard you call his name.

“Hey, I’m here, baby. I’m here.” Joel stroked your head.

“Where am I?” You tried to remember what happened and your head hurts.

“You’re in the hospital. We got into a car accident.” He explained the main points.

“My head hurts.” You put your hand on your head then your stomach.

“Joel- The baby. Please, tell me it’s okay.” You started panting as you panicked.

“Baby-I-” Joel couldn’t find his words.

“Joel-please-” You sobbed.

“I-I’m sorry.” He cried.

“Joel! No! Please!” You cried gripping his shirt.

“I’m sorry, baby. It was my fault. I’m sorry.” He cried and buried your head to his chest hugging you tight.

You cried so loud. Your tears wet his shirt. You didn’t expect this would happen. 

“Bring him back! Bring him back, please!” You screamed and tried to get out of the bed looking for the doctors.

You used him for your unborn child because you could feel it would be a boy. But now he’s gone. Your baby boy was gone. Your heart was shredded into pieces at the fact you couldn’t protect your baby.

“Baby, you need to lay down. You need rest.” Joel held you from standing up.

“Don’t touch me!” You threw his hand away from you.

“It’s all your fault! None of this would happen if you didn’t speed up!” You yelled at him. Tears falling down your cheeks.

“I hate you! I hate you! And I hate myself!” You took off the IV needle that was inserted on the back of your hand and stood up.

The nurses came inside as you tried to leave the room. They held you and put you back to your bed. Your heart rate was rising and they decided to give you sedatives to calm you down. Joel cried as he saw you like that. He was guilt-ridden and helpless. He never wanted to hurt you and now you hate him. 

To be continued…

A/N: I wasn’t planning about this but when I was writing for this chapter my hands kept typing it this way. I don’t know if you like it but I hope you like it!! ❤️

Taglist:

@lovelyygirl8 @skysmiller @moonlightdivine @crocodiile @angie2274 @pulchritudinousrogers @peqchsoup @msecho19 @happinessinthebeing @nyotamalfoy @nakedmoondiaries @dzaga890 @pa1g3-t0mm0 @prettysbliss @wanniiieeee @one-sweet-gubler @x-ap0llo-x @feministfanboi @ordinarylokix @afterglowsb-tch13 @padgraysonssram8re @tomorrowseverything @hummusxx @iranispunk @mrsyixingunicorn10 @likeanimagepassingby2 @mediocrewallflow3r @pedr0swh0r3 @mxtokko @dorck26 @cascactus28 @cheyxfu @stupidthoughtsinwriting @undermoonlightwalk @bigmoodyjoody @humanbug @sarahhxx03 @krisviciousx @quixscentsposts @dgct2 @dgraysonss @heybabyshae @fluffyspaceprincess @toottmblr @avengersfan25 @xixxala @dianaffddz @onzayhe @violetwitchmcu @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @kelh27

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fluff #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal fanfic #fanfiction #fiction #romance #romcom

[thechaoticreader]

10 More Booktok Books I Refuse To Read

Why am I doing this again? Well, I'm a bitch and feel like I've been rating books very highly lately so I need an outlet for the hater energy. Trying to keep the blog chaotic neutral!

*Disclaimer: If you like any of these books, slay! I'm happy for you! These are just my own consumer choices, and imo negative book reviews are just as helpful as positive ones!*

1. Twisted Love (& Series)

will HATE the love intrest

heard its a little incelly

too straight for my gay ass

as an Anna, I cannot condone this spelling so out of principle I will not read her books <3

2. The Fine Print (& Series)

Crusty billionaires aren't sexy

I repeat its too straight for my gay ass

I was born on December 5th which is the same day Walt Disney died and idk I just feel weird about it

eat the rich

I've had another one of Lauren Ashers books on my TBR for like a year and I keep putting off reading it (even tho its about F1 and Im obsessed with F1) so theres no hope of me reading and enjoying one about something I dont care about

3. A Little Life

I have enough mental illness without reading this book

I have enough queer trauma without reading this book

I'm not okay enough to read this book

Seriously though, this would be way too triggering for me and im chosing to prioritize my mental health over reading popular and critically acclaimed works (you all should too <3)

4. One Of Us Is Lying

I don't typically like Y/A thrillers

generally doesnt intrest me -> im getting tired of thrillers and have started leaning towards straight up horror

I HATE the cover

5. Inheritance Games

I've been burnt out of this genre/type of book since the 2000s-2010s dystopian craze

my housemate hated it and I trust his opinion

6. Lightlark

...do I really need to say anything

7. House In The Cerulean Sea

white author profiting off of indigenous trauma

mishandling of indigenous genocide (i.e the 60's scoop)

paints the residential school system as "not that bad"

I know the above books haven't been that serious but this one absolutely is and I will link information and resources in the comments. I put this one so low because I know if it was first people would just skip this whole post and potentially not look into the history of why this book is problematic.

8. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

theres too much hype and i don't want to be dissapointed

9. The Love Hypothesis

galaxy leggings

I wont be able to overlook the cringy millenial humor

it will transport me back to 2016 (in a bad way...see above)

im too gay for that (I can be convinced to read bride tho👀)

10. From Blood and Ash

I have no good reasons tbh

the cover triggers my fight or flight

im not a series girlie (gender neutral) -> duologies are on thin ice

#some of these arent serious #idk which ones #you tell me #bookblr #book blog #reading #booktok #bookish #books and reading #goodreads #anti booktok #anti book club #im a hater #too gay for this #books i wont read #anti haul #i survived the dystopian craze #house in the cerulean sea controversy

[serafilms]

just some of my fav content that kpop (boy) groups have put out (very specific!!!)

i spend many an hour on it (like actually just one hour) because i don’t want to work on my wips!!!

nct 127 hit the states: haechan x dallas

HAECHAN SILVER HAIR HAECHAN SILVER HAIR i will never shut up. this and purple and we go up brown/rainbow are his best looks idgaf. they’re just soo cute here and having so much fun and i can’t even believe how fun it looks :(( i wanna have a day like this

nct 127 hit the states: mark x vancouver

such a beautiful scenery and seeing mark be so happy in his hometown w the rest of 127 is so cute. taeil and jungwoo are so funny here too

boynextdoor pretty u cover

SLAYED! nothing more to say. i love bnd performances they ate down period.

beomgyu kids’ café on workman

the editing is so funny in this video PLS and the way the little girls all hated him but the boys were obsessed with him 😭 the café staff are so fun and nice too 👍 i love beomgyu sm

nct dream candy mv

no explanation required. once you candy you never stop candying. the cutest music video EVER i love it so much. nct dream mv’s always EAT. hello future, we go up, chewing gum, go, life is still going on (track video but still cute), hot sauce

txt lo$er=lover office attack version

so creative and fun and they look so good 😋

nct dream rooftop fight

so glad they actually did this bc i was waiting for it for so long 😭 they hyped it up for so many years did NOT disappoint. nct will never not be funny.

stray kids fancy cover

THE WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS HAPPENED UNTIL JUST NOW WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. omg we moved on too soon

boynextdoor funnextdoor

i’m actually in the process of watching it rn but i’m actually so amazed at how genuine and funny they are?? usually a lot of groups (excluding survival show groups) take a while to warm up to the cameras and talk to them and be natural around them and their members in front of them, but you can really tell how comfortable bnd are with each other and even though they’re warming up the the cameras, they’re so cute about it and so natural and outgoing that it’s not awkward at all and so fun to watch! and on that note….

boynextdoor what? door!

they’re so funny omg also bc why are hybe editors so slay?? will never stop promoting bnd (+zb1!!! love riize too but they have sufficient hype tbh i need bnd appreciation!! 5th gen boy groups let’s gooooo)

zerobaseone zbtv

ok so this list actually isn’t specific anymore but can u blame me. they’re so funny in all of the episodes how am i to choose just one. zb1 are quite literally one of the absolute funniest groups I’ve ever seen. love them sm PLEASE stan before they disband 😞

eunchae star diary with sunghoon and heeseung

EUNCHAE !!!!! she’s so cute i love eunchae star diary 😭 this was more awkward than the jake ni-ki one tbh but it was really cute too 👍 and the way sunghoon kept trying to weasel out the tea from her like leave that girl alone hoon 😭😭

honourable mentions to the kyujin and hiyyih episodes too!! bc it’s so fun to see eunchae with her friends

en o’clock episode 12

the one where they did like the high up line training course thing idk what it’s called and they were wearing camo print like military ish stuff idk man but it’s so funny and their early days r so cute

en o’clock episodes 32 and 33

the irl among us episodes 😭😭

boys planet jelly pop

MY GODDDDDD JELLY POP ZHANG HAO I LOVE U SM. i wish he liked women and was 4 years younger and went to my uni. i purchased many zhang hao pc’s recently. jelly pop my #7 most played song in spotify. i watched it too many times. saved so many edits. ilysm king.

txt idol human theatre when they went to that house

the way the managers lifted taehyun out of the pool gets me every single time 😭😭😭

txt idol human theatre during blue hour era

my fav idol human theatre episode EVER. so funny and i love blue hour era sm‼️

stray kids family 3rd anniversary

skz with wigs will never not be iconic. and why did jeongin and felix lowkey devour acting elderly like???

to do x txt flying yoga episode 83

i love this episode so much actually omfg PLEASEE they’re so funny 😭 kpop idols doing any kind of strenuous movement exercise is my favourite content ever

to do x txt self defense episode 104

this one is CRIMINALLY underrated actually. wdym both parts don’t have 1 million views at least? can’t tell you how many times i had to rewind bc i was enjoying it so much 🫶🫶 i have plans to rewatch this soon so i also can learn some self defense moves.

run bts episode 55

this whole trip starts from ep 53 but them slapping each other’s asses and trying not to laugh is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched actually,, this was one of the first run bts vids i watched on vlive and it brings me back when i see clips of it 😢

the nct show (nct 2020 but in 2022)

i love LOVE when nct all gets together :( nct 2018 and nct world 2.0 !!!! everything happens for a reason and sungchan and shotaro belong in riize but this video is so fun and they’re all so cute together!! field day episodes!!!!!! this and hybe game caterers fr

007” 00” the nct show

same as previous with extra emphasis on I LOVE THE 00 LINE HOKY FUCK. yangyang ❤️❤️❤️ i need to watch more wayv content i miss him

upper side dreamin’ halloween version behind the scenes

sunoo dancing to mama at the end is peak editing. enha vs ghosts let’s go!!! they’re all so cute and funny in this 🥳🥳 the way ni-ki abandoned the camera man bye 😭

txt magic island mv

words cannot express how much i miss the dream chapter: magic era. how i wish i could find a song that makes me feel the way run away and magic island do. the things i’d do to listen to that album for the first time omfg!!!! anyways this mv and the run away mv make me so emotional like 😭😭😭 also old bts txt lore used to be so confusing to me like i would spend soo so long trying to figure it out

anyways that’s it bc youtube search and sorting history filters are ass so i can’t find many more but i hope at least 1 person finds a new video to watch from this.

#ashley speaks ! #boynextdoor #tomorrow x together #stray kids #bts #enhypen #zerobaseone #nct

[sunflowergl]

Kazuha and Ran's meta

Before starting, I need to say a few disclaimers. This post will have spoilers for the most recent Herensuge’s Main Story and for Hitotsuyanagi’s Stage Plays (League of Garden, The Fateful Gift and Lost Memorias). I won’t try to not reveal major events in the story. So, if you didn’t play until 覚醒のスキャルドメール and don’t want to recieve major spoilers, I advise to not read this meta.

Second disclaimer: I still didn’t read some of Hervarar's events because they didn’t have Ran as an important character (so it didn’t interest me when I don’t have time to dedicate myself to read in Japanese, which takes so much time), I didn’t buy any of official supply materials because they don’t ship to my country and i’m not considering any Fumi’s tweets to this meta. So a lot of things may diverge from what was showed in 慟哭のクリューサーオール, 悪蝕のナイトメア, 灼炎のエニグマ, 竜楯のコンフリクト, in official suplementar material and Fumi’s tweets (which all of them contradicts each other, so at the end it doesn’t matter that much). I’m just trying to have fun, then don’t take everything I say as absolute truth and, specially, don’t be mad at me because I interpreted something different.

Third: I won’t be using prints from Stage Plays, but I’ll talk about them.

And the last: this meta will be a mix between Kazuha and Ran’s personalities analyzed as their own characters (consequently, a bit about why I love them as individual characters) and why KazuRan is my OTP. So if you feel uncomfortable with the ship, this post may not be for you.

Official art of Kazuha and Ran from one of the real life’s music presentations

When I started the game, I didn’t know any of the “new characters” (Hervarar and Gran Eple’s members, because at this point I only had watched the anime), so I didn’t expect anything from them. So it was a surprise how much I liked Kazuha in the tutorial’s story. She sounded as a rigid and serious girl at the start (which ended up being true later in the game), so I got really interested in her. Then, when Hervarar appeared in the Main Story that early, I got really happy and fell in love with all the other 4 immediately because they were Kazuha’s friends. But among the 4 of them, Ran didn’t let anyone else get my attention.

And it wasn’t just because she is a chaotic autistic little girl that talk just like me (when I don’t want to force myself to talk), but there was another reason and that was because she was exactly the opposite of Kazuha in personality and appearance, and still, they had lovely interactions between them.

After reading a lot of Hervarar’s stories and interactions, it was clear to me that Kazuha and Ran were opposite from each other, but at the same time, were similar characters.

Kazuha is a really interesting character. She is a really serious girl, who takes her responsibility as Hervarar’s leader (and the other girls' leader at the same time) to the extreme. She even got for herself the responsibility from the Hervarar’s leader during Hinode’s Tragedy, something that wasn’t her fault nor something she should bear. And still, Kazuha took it to her heart and made everything to endure this responsibility, to the point of almost getting herself killed. Not only this, but she even almost sacrificed herself trying to change Herensuge (or in other words, following her ideals). And because of this stubborn personality, she almost didn’t get along with Renka and Yoh at the start, and almost got herself, Chikaru, Yoh and Renka killed during 竜のシャナと楯の乙女 and other events where they fight Cuelebre. The reason for this is only because she “was there” in Hinode’s Tragedy and “was saved” by a Madec (I’ll get to this point again after in the post). She is what we can call a “responsible girl” because of what I talked about, but also because she takes all her tasks with extreme priority. 

She is really strict too, with herself and with other people (just in a way less intense than she is with herself), at the point in always training and forcing herself to the limits. Her charismatic personality as a leader also made me love her so much, specially because she is dumb; she get joked a lot by Hervarar’s girls (specially by Renka and Ran), she is a simple minded girl and is so passionate about things she cares about and likes a lot. 

I really love how she have a “savior complex” at the start too. It was so fun and cute how Kazuha said to Ran to get behind Kazuha when they first met each other. But not only this. She really shows much care for everyone in Hervarar and likes to protect others (just like in League of Gardens, when she stops Kotohi to beat Kanaho, or when she got really mad talking that Ran is a Boosted Lily in The Fateful Gift). When you try to understand Kazuha outside of what is explicitly shown, she is a really complex character and develops too much after interacting a lot with all the Hervarar’s members.

On other hand, Ran shows herself as a “simple character” at the start. She has a child-ish personality that tries to simplify everything she can. She loves simple things (sleeping, fighting Huges and eating). She doesn’t understand a lot of things at the start, even things that are “common sense” (just like she doesn’t know why dying is a bad thing), nor know how to take care of herself. And not only this, she don’t care about her own safety nor about the cities safety at the start, getting at the point of destroying the harbor in 罪なき少女達のスティグマ and active Lunatic Trancer and going at the front without help from her friends. I really love how she only hears and obeys Kazuha in this subject, to the point of stopping destroying buildings in the city later in the game and being more careful in the fights with Huges. I still get soft every time I watch The Fateful Gift, where Ran only stops trying to beat Kotohi when Kazuha calls her name; nor Yoh and Renka could stop her, but it was enough Kazuha just calling her name. And there is something like this in the game too. When Kazuha goes with Riri, Yuyu and Kanaho, Renka says that Kazuha is the one that stops Ran from going wild or before them.

But Ran is way more complex than any of this. Even if she looks simple and even not important, Ran is the most emotional mature in Hervarar. She is the only one that doesn’t get desperate when everything goes wrong in 竜のシャナと楯の乙女. And the funniest is that she can manipulate all the girls just like her idle line in summer, where she says that she can get water from the girls just saying that it is hot. I even dare to say that Ran is the character with the most character development in Last Bullet, because when you watch her in Hervarar’s story and after in 覚醒のスキャルドメール, it is difficult to say that she is the same character.

Print of the Main Story when Renka says that stopping Ran is Kazuha’s duty Translation from the print: Renka: Eh? A, wait, Ran! Shit, it is always Kazuha’s duty.

Having said all of this about the two of them, I think it is clear how they are so different from each other. Kazuha is the responsible, serious and rigid character’s archetype, while Ran is the chaotic childish character’s archetype. But they are way more similar than it appears. I even call them mirror reflections from each other or that they are different sides of the same coin.

Both are Boosted Lilies created differently from others; Ran was boosted before she was born, and Kazuha only exists because she is boosted. And they’re boosted in different labs from Herensuge that probably don’t get along with each other. Both “died” in Hinode (the person that owns Kazuha’s body and the madec she got her personality from, and Ran got her vital signals stopped in a period of time). Kazuha is so strictly and rigid, while Ran is a free chaotic spirit that “no one can control” (outside Kazuha), but they learn from each other how to be different; Kazuha learns how to not be that rigid (she lets Ran eats Taiyaki with everyone in Hervarar everyday after 覚醒のスキャルドメール)  and Ran starts getting everything Kazuha says as absolute truth (just like she calls Cuelebre as bad kids) and stops going wild by her own. Even the way they talk is so opposite, with Kazuha being too formal and Ran being too informal.

And it is fun how Ran is the emotional mature in Hervarar, while Kazuha loses her mind every time she gets in an argument with Fuuka and Cuelebre (and have a mind break just from Fuuka saying that she isn’t the real Kazuha), the exactly opposite their archetypes do.

But it isn’t just it that made me fell in love with the ship. I really love their interactions, how they care too much for each other, how Ran makes fun of Kazuha for everything, how Kazuha worries too much about Ran (at the point at finding her in one of the Summer’s short stories), how Ran is always so much empathic towards Kazuha at the point to ask if Kazuha is mad or something like that, both wanting to protect each other, how Ran gets sad whenever Kazuha gets sad, Kazuha being the one that takes care of Ran (in bath, in class, when she tries to go wild, to taught her common sense, when Ran gets lost and a lot of other things) and all their other interactions. But above everything I love the extreme care, love and trust Ran shows to Kazuha all the time. Ran can’t stop being happy at Kazuha’s side and worrying about her (Kazuha does the same, but not with the same frequency).

The scene in Main Story where I fell in love with KazuRan Translation from the print: Ran: Kazuha, what is it? Want to rampage?

So it made me really happy that Kazuha couldn’t hit Ran in the last Herensuge’s Main Story (while she hurt Yoh and Chikaru), and how she tried her best to not hurt Ran, even when she was being controlled by the teacher. And how Ran trusted Kazuha above everything; Ran just stood there, smiling to Kazuha pointing her Charm to Ran — just to Kazuha miss and try to get out of the mind control because Ran talked to her, and her being able to recognize Ran.

Kazuha missing Ran

But not only that. How Kazuha first remembers Ran in her flashbacks during the same Main Story (I can’t put a print here because Tumblr will ban me, so), or how Ran’s words are the final thing Kazuha needs to break the control in this scene and how Ran was the first person that showed when Kazuha was thinking after she break the mind control, still in her mind. I always loved the love, care and absolute trust Ran showed to Kazuha, so I was really happy to get confirmation that Kazuha felt the same way.

In the final, Kazuha being the only one that most recognized that Ran saved them all made me way more happy. Because Ran had finally got the thanks she deserved since 2 stories before (and it was Kazuha that did it, not any other of the girls).

Hervarar is my favorite Legion so far, but not only because of the friendship relationship between them all. It is also because there is Kazuha and Ran there. I love Hervarar that much exactly because the group is a found family and there is KazuRan (and YohRen, but it is for another post, maybe). Because even if they almost don’t interact that much in comparison with the start of the game, their interactions always make me really happy and soft. And I would love the game way more if they had a great amount of interactions (and I wouldn’t be that lazy to read stories. Yes, I hate how they treat my girl in the story, always putting her at the side. Ran deserves better).

I love them so much, but I couldn’t express all the feelings in this post. So I’m happy for anyone who read this mess rumbling meta until here. I hope that, even if I’m scared of expressing myself (and having difficulties in expressing myself, especially in english) was enough to show how much I love them and why.

To end this post, thank you for reading! And here is my favorite KazuRan’s official art! It is the one that most expresses what I love about their relationship.

#Assault Lily #Assault Lily Last Bullet #AssLily Meta #Aizawa Kazuha #Sasaki Ran #Sorry for any mistakes #I didn't revised #Don't take what I said here as absolute truth because it is just my interpretation #It is just a silly post that was made because I talked a lot with a friend about the reasons I love KazuRan #KazuRan #Yuri

[warmaidensrevenge]

Eddie x Plus size/ Hispanic reader

I have this idea floating around. Kind of unrequited love type thing. We shall see. ⚠️Please if you are sensitive about any of my warnings. Please please don't read this. It's very sad and hurtful. So please proceed with caution. No minors please. Most of this is coming from personal experiences. So hopefully it doesn't bother anyone too bad. Sorry in advance.⚠️

⚠️⚠️: 18+ mentions of sexual abuse of a child, child abuse, self harm, cursing, smoking, drinking, arguing, heartache, mentions of sex. Not proof read and no word count.⚠️⚠️

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

Inspired by Starset - My demons

Part 1

Summary: you overhear a conversation and walk into something that you could never forget. You have feelings for Eddie Munson. But he doesn't even know you exist.

(Kinda how Joe Quinn is out there in the world not knowing you love him and he doesn't even know you exist.) Yeah I was kinda down at the thought. It's kida pathetic I know. Didn't know you could fall for someone when you haven't even met. Welp I guess Im gonna hurt my feelings today.

💔😮‍💨

Life was always difficult growing up in Hawkins. Your mother was a single mom raising 5 kids. 2 sisters who were older and 2 brothers that were younger. Your mom put herself thru college and worked so much she was hardly there. Being that your sisters were older they stayed with their father mostly. All of you had different absentee fathers.

While you stood back help raising one of your brothers. For the most part you were alone. Taking care of yourself at 10 years old. Your father left before you were born. Your mother dated of course. For some reason she always picked up low life's that hit her or did drugs. One time her and her husband of like 2 months was fighting with her. When you went to the room he was on top of her choking her. You were 12 and your little brother was 4. You watched in horror as your little brother jumped on the bastards back and being flung off hitting the door across the room. You grabbed whatever you could and pull that son of bitches hair and started hitting him in the back. Screaming for him to get off of her. You didn't remember how the fight ended but you did remember the trauma that asshole left in his wake. He would do things in a sexual nature towards you. One night he went to the bathroom that was the only one in the small 2 bedroom house. He had to go thru your room to go there. You were laying in your bunk bed reading when he opened the door. You saw him in only some tight Leapard print underwear. He had a sinister grin twirling around so that you could see him. You scoffed not knowing what he was trying to do. And turned around so you didn't have to face him. He stood in the bathroom for a few minutes before leaving. You figured he was getting dressed. Not even 5 minutes later you heard your mom in a laughing fit.

One night you were asleep and you woke up to the sounds of grunting. You looked up with with your hand around his shaft. Your recoiled and he quickly got dressed and left. You didn't know what he was until you got older. The next time anything happened you wanted to go swimming And he was on the pool keeping you from going in. He said if you wanted to come in you had to do something. He had you touch his privates. And after he was finished he warned you not to tell. Or he would hurt your mom. He kept doing things like that for a few months giving you money afterwards. That's when you started to get fat. You remember when your sister made fun of how big your thighs were getting. You didn't know you were depressed. That's when your mom had another baby. His. You loved your little brother. Any time that shit stain would get close to him you would become upset. It was one day everything changed. You were in the kitchen finding something to eat when your mom and him came in and were arguing about something. When your older sister came in to try and stop them. But now things got physical. He was pulling your mom's hair. And your mom was hitting him. Your sister pushed you to the side and was kneeing him in the face. That's when your uncle came in and broke up the fight. You heard your mom arguing with your sister about it. This all seemed so normal for you. But I wasn't. The last time he had you touch him you cried and he stopped. The next day you were done. You sat in the living room at 13 years old. Your other sister was there for the weekend. And she was watching a movie. You started to cry and she asked what was up. If that your boyfriend broke up with you or something. But you didn't have one. So you told her what was going on with him. She was furious. She went to your mom to tell her. And your mom didn't even questioned you. They left for a while and your older sister sat there trying to get you to tell her everything. But you couldn't. You did say that he never touched you down there. He just wanted you to touch him. She told you about one time he made a sexual gesture towards her and your other sister a while back. But they thought it was a joke. That's why they didn't come over so much.

That's when your mom and sister came back dragging him instead. He was bruised and bloody. He was saying that you were lying. That's when you went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Tears running down your face as you held it towards him. You begged for him to tell them the truth when one of your sisters grabbed the knife and pulled you outside. You guys walked for a while and when you return the cops had taken him. After that you never saw him again. You guys moved to a new house freed from all the bad memories. But your relationship with your mother was strained. Constant physical altercations and arguing. It got so bad that you ran away multiple times. Your mother didn't believe you when that happened. But out of the sake of her other children she had too. She has been alone ever since. So with no help to raise the kids she left that up to you. She works multiple jobs. Mostly night shifts. She hit you a lot over small things growing up. And you never cried. Which made her hit you more and more using whatever she could grab. Finally in 8th grade you started to smoke and drink. Buying weed from Eddie Munson. You never said anything more than how much you needed and a goodbye. He never noticed you. As you got older you started to have feelings for him. But he didn't even know you exist other than that you were a regular customer. In highschool you attended parties that he would be at getting shit face as much as possible. You would see him flirting with girls and taking them upstairs. He was so handsome so nice but he was a horny teenager.

It was one night you overhead him talking to Chrissy Cunningham by the front door. You leaned against the wall around the corner. He was putting on his charm. He was trying to get with her. And from the sounds of her giggles it was working. You sunk to the floor when you heard them leave together. You wished you were brave enough to tell him you liked him.

Finally getting the courage one day out in the woods where you normally bought from Eddie. He was smiling while opening his metal lunch box. And handed you a baggie with 3 rolled up joints.

" can I tell you something Munson?

" you already did" he chuckled with his big brown eyes creasing. Noticing you were uncomfortable he stopped laughing." Uhh Yeah go for it."

"I uhh I like you. A lot." You said nervously.

Eddie leaned back with wide eyes and a frown on his face." Oh umm ok... thanks. Uhhh is that all?"

You nodded and he got up.

" Uhh see you around." He said and left.

You stopped buying from him that day. But it's like he didn't even notice. You had loads of classes with him since kindergarten. But he never saw you. I mean why would he. You were this overweight unpopular weirdo. You had very little friends and a shitty home life. No one would ever be interested in you.

...

You were at a party once in your junior year on your 18th birthday. You were kinda old for a junior but you were held back twice in middle school. When you saw Eddie He was taking some random chick upstairs. You were in love with him. Or what you thought was love. It hurt everytime he smiled. Or when he would be so dramatic at school. You honestly hoped he wouldn't graduate so you could see him all the time. He was an angel in a world full of monsters.

You had to pee so bad. You stumbled around looking for the bathroom upstairs. You opened door after door looking. When you opened one and saw Eddie sitting on the bed and some chick on her knees.

" Shit I'm sorry" you said and closed the door.

Your heart stopped as the flood of a suppressed memory came to the forefront of your mind. You were in the car with one of your mom's boyfriends. You were about 4 or 5 when he offered to let you steer the car. Obviously you wanted to. You were just a child. But that's when he said you need to do something for him. You agreed not knowing what he wanted. He unbuckle his belt and pulled out his penis. You didn't know what that was then. He pushed your head down to meet your lips to the head. You remembered resisting but he was stronger than you. It was just a kiss. You thank God now that it was just a kiss. How could guys do that shit to children?

You started having a panick attack. You finally found the bathroom and locked yourself in there. You poured cold water on your face with shaking hands. You started to count. A coping mechanism you learned over the years. But the the feeling didn't go away. That when you saw it. A single blade razor. Who ever it was it was now yours for the night. You looked down to your arm pulling up your sleeve. You wanted to feel something else. Anything else. You dug the blade in your upper forearm. Pulling a 2 inch cut. The feeling of release was what you need. A steady stream of blood dropped into the sink. That was the day you started to harm yourself. Sticking to only long sleeves and leggings to cover the scars that riddled over your arms and thighs.

That following Monday Eddie caught up to you at your locker.

" Hey sorry about the other night." Eddies words made you jump. sorry..didn't mean to scare you."

He stepped closer and you moved away.

"Hey y/n. You ok?"

You didn't respond and you just walked away. Why would you talk to him. Or any guys for that matter. They were all monsters.

Eddie tried again all week to talk to you but you were no where to be found. That's when you were hospitalized for attempted suicide. Spending a week in that place was dreadful. But in all honesty you need it. You need for someone to hear you. To help you. And you got the help you need. Rounds of finding the right medicine for your chemical imbalance. Though you felt like a zombie for the next few weeks you finally started to feel better. Talking to a therapist helped but not as much as you needed.

Finally back at school 2 weeks later the word got a out about you. So everyone stared and avoided you. Everyone except Eddie.

" I don't need your sympathy Munson."

" I'm not trying to...I just wanted to see if you want to hang out or something."

" Why?"

" I don't know. I mean I missed you."

Your brows furrowed. "Umm ok?"

" Come to the Hideout. Come watch us perform."

You nodded. But you didn't go. Late that night your brothers were sleeping and your mom was at work. You were watching a movie when you heard a knock on the front door. You answered and Eddie was there.

" Hey you didn't come."

" uh yeah I had to babysit. How did you know where I live?"

" I came over once remember. On your 14th birthday. Your mom invited the whole class."

You didn't remember that. But surprised that Eddie did.

" Can I come in?"

You stood back and let him in. Closing the door. You went to sit on the couch with Eddie joining you. You two watched the rest of the movie without saying a word. It was comfortable. Eddie kept looking over to you. But you didn't notice. It was hot and you pulled up your sleeves a little revealing your scars. Eddie looked at them and was so sad to see that you had hurt yourself.

What happened that was so bad for you to do that he thought. He wanted to ask but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable. So he sat quietly watching you more than the movie.

You guys ended up spending more time together after that. Eddie played with your brothers and though he was rough around the edges your mom like him too. Giving him the nickname mijo. Eddie learned that you were Mexican and you could speak a little Spanish. He should have know that you were with all the food and miss matching dinner ware and the Spanish music that played during your birthday party. But he was so wrapped up in himself he didn't really pay attention to much that was going around him. But you never spoke Spanish neither did your family except your mom. Only when you were upset did you use your first language. He like that about you. It was different than the rest of the people in Hawkins. Sure the town was diverse but he never talked to any of them. He liked how big your family was how full your house always was and how close everyone were. He wanted a big family. Sure with issues of their own but a loving family. Yeah he had his uncle but he wished that he would get a wife and have kids so that he wouldn't be so lonely. That's why he hooked up a lot. Trying to find the right person for him. But I was always just sex. He thought maybe with Chrissy once but she was with Jason. Eddie didn't know that. If he did he would have never pursued her.

But you. You and your family were different. You guys didn't care what the rest of Hawkins thought about him. You guys treated him with respect. Like he was just another one of the family. Eddie wished he got to know you sooner.

On Christmas Eve Eddie was standing in an assembly line helping make tamales. You laughed when your mom helped him put his hair up so none would end up in the masa and made him take off his rings. He looked naked without them. He was so happy and nervous at the same time. He never had so much fun cooking before. Normally his Christmas were lonely and Christmas dinner was a microwave meal with Rudolph the red nosed reindeer playing in the background. The amount of presents under the beautiful Christmas tree in your living room was like something out of the movies.

Eddie was overwhelmed by the amount of gifts he got from your family. He never opened this many gifts in his life. The best gift came from you. You got him a cool looking mood ring. It looked totally metal. It fit perfectly on his ring finger. He felt bad that he didn't get you anything. He wanted to but he wasn't flushed with cash. But you didn't care. You didn't really care for Christmas. Eddie got up to give you a hug but you tensed up at his embrace. He noticed right away and pulled away.

...

It was New years when you were at the Munson's. Eddie's uncle wasn't home. That's when you told him about what happened when you were little. You cried and Eddie wanted to hold you but he knew that you didn't like to be touched. How could anyone hurt someone as sweet as you? That's why you were overweight. He didn't mind it but he knew you hated it.

" Is that why you cut yourself?"

You nodded and told him about that night you saw him.

Eddie started to cry when you said that. He had no idea you were hurting so bad. You were broken and he wanted to fix you. But how could he. He didn't know what to do or what to say. So he was just gonna be there. Whenever you need him he would always be there. He swore to himself that he would never hurt you.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #fanfic #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie x y/n #eddie x plus size reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you

[michelleelizabethtanner]

My sister just rewatched Good Girls and I told her season 3 is so difficult for me because of all the angst. She told me it's not quite as angsty as she remembered it to be and she found season 4 way more angsty. Personally, I don't find the outcomes of Beth's betrayals in season 4 to be as angsty as the fallout of the shooting in season 3, but my sister seems to think so. I think Rio sulking about Beth and Nick that whole season might have added to it. She kept calling him a mopey puppy lol

He WAS a mopey puppy for a lot of season 4. 😂😂😂 Your sister is so funny, Anon! I wish anyone I know irl had watched this show with me. Much less re-watched. 😩

I’m trying to think back on the totality of season 4. It was definitely a difficult season for Rio. Although I get what you mean about the angst being different than in season 3. You’re right, season 3 was so raw and so emotionally hurt. It was like a fresh wound that neither of them knew how to navigate and neither of them could handle in quite the ways they wished they could. For Rio in particular there was just so much trapped emotion that kept slipping out. He was navigating through something new and learning where his limits were.

I think for me, season 4 was calmer because Rio seemed more settled into his feelings about Beth. He had almost given in and accepted that he isn’t able to stop what he feels, that while he wishes he didn’t feel as intensely for her he can’t control it. Season 4 I think showed a lot more self-acceptance from Rio very early on. I mentioned it once in this post, but I think Rio spent a lot of time thinking about all this through early season 4. The Smurfing scene is one of my favorites because I’m convinced he was out there pondering his life and his fixation.

Another scene where my headcanon says Rio was definitely sitting around brooding about Beth is the Boland Bubbles – Real Panty Dropper scene. Beth was so excited on her high of blackmailing a building inspector. She was so flirty and adorable, doing her “buy me a drink” bit as a callback to 2.09 where she flirted in a very similar way. But Rio was all grumpy-pants, sitting there unsmiling, telling her it’s not all about her.

Except it was all about her. Or at least all about Rio’s inevitable conclusion that he just couldn’t use that evidence he had on her and his stress about finding another way to protect them both. I’m absolutely convinced she didn’t need that thumbprint for him to not tell the cops he had her prints. This man had been sitting at that bar, coming up with a whole plan about saying he was at a fight and he didn’t know anything about any murders. And then she came in all peppy and excited about her husband’s new business, and Rio was so irritated – with her, with himself for giving a shit about her, with dumbass Dean and his dumbass business name…

All these brooding moments led to Rio’s conclusion that he just couldn’t live without her. Or at least he was gonna try to not live without her. He tried his damndest to show her his family, his vulnerability, his humanity. Trying to backtrack some of that anger and threat he gave her before. Hoping they could go back to the before. Nick was also an important catalyst, but Rio was kinda on his way anyway. On his way to forgiving her and asking to be chosen.

So yeah, season 4 is still raw. And 4.08 is a masterpiece of Rio and his messy management of his big emotions. But his angst here was different. More kind. More forgiving. More rooted in frustration and a want for peace rather than rooted in anger and a want for vengeance. Maybe your sister felt season 4 more acutely because men’s anger is so common and often is dismissed as not even an emotion. So season 3 didn’t hit that emotional note for her. Whereas men’s vulnerability – their capacity for sadness or hurt or pining – is sometimes seen as “weak” emotions, so on a man like Rio it came across mopey or comical or just otherwise uncomfortable to see. What do you think, Anon? Maybe I just like seeing a man who’s capable of a wide range of feelings, but I loved all of season 4 Rio. That whole season fed Rio lovers with more character development than all the other seasons combined.

#season 4 good girls be like #rio is such an emotional roller coaster #that’s what’s so validating about him #he wears his whole heart on his sleeve #while pretending he has no feelings at all #it’s just business #the business of me being in love #with Elizabeth #Rio #brio #beth x rio #good girls nbc #asks #headcanon

[paulinawoodpecker]

Tad fights Andrea and save them and enter the temple of the circle of life. Ramirez told them that the only one who has to save the world is Tad and become the bravest hero and legend part 1,2,3,4, and final

@jakkiisthatboy2

Part 1:

Andrea: BOO!

All: *yelps*

Andrea I got you all surrounded.

Tad: what the heck uh?

Andrea: Andrea…

Reena: oh my god! You have got to be kidding me.

Tiffany: what are you doing?!

Andrea: im trying to distract them.

Tiffany: what was I supposed to do? Do the fighting for you?

Andrea: listen TIFF I got this.

Elena: please don’t hurt us.

Tad: but what do you want from me?

Andrea: 😑

Part 2:

Andrea: SHE DID IT! SHES THE ONE YOU WANT! Okay! I WAS BUSY WRITING DOWN NOTES AND PRINTING OUT DOCUMENTS AND TRY TO STAY FOCUSED!!!

Tiffany: Andrea you freak.

Andrea: hey! I’m not going to be arrested just because of what I’ve doing!

Part 3:

Felice: maybe we should go.

Tad: yeah. Sorry Andrea.

Tiffany and Andrea: WHAT!!!

Reena: besides you have done enough.

Andrea: NO! Im in charge here!

Andrea: and I suspect all of you guys to be arrested!

Tad: 🙄

Andrea: you! You are under arrest! I might be able to make a ticket for eye rolling, weight gain and other thing…

Tad: *uses death touch on Andrea*

Tad: Death Touch, never fails…

Ramirez: come on let’s go!

All: *runs away from them*

Andrea: *weakly* you will never get away with this!

Tiffany: no they won’t 😈

Part 4:

Sara: you did it!

Camille: once again.

Reena: shudders*

Sara: what’s the matter?

Reena: she was acting like another Mr P.

Ramirez: *snuggles up reena* I know Rini. I know. I’ve been there.

Final:

Guy: what do we do now?

Ramirez: well…

Ramirez: the only one person who can save the world is you.

Tad: me?

Ramirez: yes.

Isabel: I think you are becoming our bravest hero and a legend. What you did to the other mean queen bees was fantastic. Heck you would be more fantastic if you stand up to Tiffany mordon.

Tad: I don’t know. After what she did to me, I’m not doing it.

Reena: please? Tiffany mordon is too powerful and she’s not even going to stop until she gets you. But if we help you and work together, we could be free from her.

Tad: okay. I will

Ramirez: that’s my legendary hero

#tad the lost explorer #tadeo jones #tad the lost explorer 4 #tadeo jones 4

[tealincubusspeckles]

Levels of A Seduce Me The Otome Fan

1. James

You seek knowledge and will read, watch, or play anything in relation to the fandom to gain information even if that means loosing sleep. Sleep who? Run on sentences where? Caffeine and sugar is your blood at this point.

2. Erik

Finding that you can swoon and romance 2 dimensional beings is nothing new. But the fleeting burst of inspirational power to chase sex demons is thrilling. Your main objective and outward expression of this power is writing fiction, drawing, or dressing up in cosplay.  No regrets! Let the ships sail until they burn in the sunset.

3. Sam

Congrats! Your are now a free keyboard fighter advertisement for the Seduce Me Community! Feel pride as not many people get or stay on this level! Passion fuels your fingers and thoughts. However, your body and mind might not always respond to your wishes. Don’t worry! We know your heart is in the right place in some alternate universe. 

4. Matthew

I have never seen so many tabs open in my life. No, for real, is that a designated folder for-! No, you have actual printed pictures of-! You have SEDUCE ME MERCH! The depths of your obsession live in your room somewhere. Don’t worry, no one has to know. Just be grateful Simon Tabby did not find out yet. BTW, Simon Tabby can be little siblings or people who you just don’t want in your ahem personal space.

5. Damien

Ya lurk’n belly craw’ler ‘ere ya be! Pardon the mess but you seem to be a bit quiet over there. Ah. Burnout from trying to bust your brain to create content. Can’t say I relate. But, thanks for checking in once in a blue moon. I haven’t got anything new to report on this end about Seduce Me. If you keep your eyes peeled, I think some peeps are still kicking about. Remember, you may be in the dark, but that does not mean you are alone.

6. Diana

Going above and beyond the script of the game to create your own universe is your pastime. Adding more drama, trauma, fights, and vents is often the summary of fan stories written in this level. If you care to read the fan stories of this level, you might be able to see the charm of what the author was trying to go for. Not gonna lie, typically at this level you’re the only one with ideas and no one else is going to write them for you. So hop to it!

7. Malix

You have created your own family tree, legacy, lover's past, future, and plotted the names of your grand children! This is a rare level flex, but feel free to post your kids and grandkids as you become star dust. You just want to be in your lover’s/lover's arms and for them to hold you tight, even if that means the world will have to burn in the process. Power to you means nothing, you just want your love interest/ interests to dote on you. If there are problems more than likely your love interests will solve it for you because of magic. You are still magic training and will probably be training for many years. Good luck!

#seduce me the otome #seduce me 2 the demon war

[gas-station-chai]

Stalker!Tony AU rambles from my notes app

Jantonio (Jack/Tony) based delusions from my plagued mind :3 Enjoy at your own risk.

stalker Tony au where he actually works part time at the gas station (like 4-6 hrs a day kinda shifts) but stays longer just to hang out/talk to the cute overnight manager who he usually takes over his shift. As he works there longer and longer, Tony realizes something: staying in that building doesn’t make you crazy, it brings out whatever crazy that was already in you. It takes some fucked up, repressed shit buried deep in your subconscious and brings that motherfucker into the light (example: Calvin Ambrose) 

In Tony’s case? His little crush on jack is suddenly a full-on obsession. It’s a gradual spiral, but he doesn’t notice until it’s too late. In the beginning he catches himself trailing after Jack around the store, and he’s a little confused and embarrassed when he’s asked about it, telling Jack it’s the lack of sleep that’s making him weird, which Jack laughs at with an “I can relate to that.” He subconsciously begins going after anything Jack-related after that; a pen he chewed on here, a paper coffee cup he’d tossed after his shift there, even a few articles of clothing from his emergency kit in the closet (Jack would probably blame the missing shirts on Jerry, anyways). He doesn’t even notice he’s taking these things until he goes home and realizes his bag is a little heavier than when he first got to work. 

At this point he starts to realize he’s losing it. He’s trying to reason with himself with the reminder of,  'how fuckin creepy this is with your face shoved into your coworker’s shirt while you're grinning like a psychopath,' but there’s a giddy, sick sort of glee he’s getting from it that overpowers his logical side, so he starts to up the ante. 

It’s super easy to get pictures of Jack since his head is either buried deep in a book or in the clouds. Tony couldn’t be more thankful for his uncaring (if not a bit airheaded) nature. He thinks about getting a Polaroid camera so he doesn’t have to print photos off a flash drive somewhere public, and he knows if Jack heard the shutter and click of cameras, he wouldn’t question it. Hell, he’d probably just stuff in some earplugs to ignore the sound. But he holds off, reasoning that it’d be playing too risky. In the end, he settles for home-printed pictures on printer paper, which he obsessively pins to his room walls. 

Tony never admitted to himself what he was doing was considered stalking until he actually started stalking him. It wasn’t even on purpose… at first, anyways. He’d been driving around town when he spotted Jack getting dropped off at the local bookstore, and that’s where it started. Tony’s phone camera was trained on his friend before he even registered his actions. 

He told himself that this was a one time thing, that he’d be content with seeing him at work, but with every day and every “just one more time,” he knew he was fighting a losing battle with himself. (Jack doesn’t have many outfit variations so his photo gallery folder of him at New Pages looks like they’re all from the same day. Tony cherishes them all the same)

Since jack doesn’t go many places when he’s not working, it was only a matter of time until Tony eventually followed him home and found out where he lived. He thinks it’ll be difficult to get in when he’s not home cos he assumes he’s living with family, but after a long stakeout with no other sign of life in the house he concludes that Jacks living all alone. 

He’s actually really proud of Jack for being so careful and prepared for a break-in with his three-lock system, but simultaneously disappointed at how easy it was to get in through the back door. It’s here that he starts taking more things to fuel his infatuation: from socks, loose hairs and even a few pieces of silverware that he’d assumed jack had used that day. He knew how fucked up and overboard this was starting to become, but he was long past the point of trying to reason with himself by now. 

He’s torn between liking Jerry for his loose-lipped tendencies and hating him for his friendliness. On one hand, Jerry sucks at the whole privacy thing, which benefits him. Tony usually sugarcoats his questions about jack, disguising them as offhand comments about their manager, but sometimes he thinks he doesn’t even have to with the way the blond will easily blabber on about the tired man. On the other hand, there’s a jealous rage in the pit of his stomach every time he watches the ex-cultist bound towards Jack and start goofing around as if they were best friends. 

Tony being jealous of how close Jerry’s getting to Jack, but not being able to get closer to him himself bc Jack throws him off whenever they talk (eg: The bar invite was supposed to be a date but Jack made it weird and Tony got infected by the awkward and didn’t know what else to say)

(I could link it back to cannon by making his obsession somehow lead to him getting in contact with Roger :eyes:)

#chai writes stuff #what a pinning lunatic (Tony) #oblivious till it’s too late (jack) #world’s most unhelpful wingman (Jerry) #stalker!jantonio au #i am so delulu please help me #stalking cw #tftgs au

[fluffyotters]

My favorite animes list

My favorite animes that i’’ve finished/plan to that don’t include the big ones (Bleach, Naruto, Dragonball, One Piece, etc which haven’t ever really appealed to me)

1. Yugioh Original and all series including Zexal, Vrains, and Sevens.

The true classic anime and I absolutely love all the protaganists, Also everything will be solved by awesome card duels. 

2. Gurren Lagann

My first non yugioh anime that wasn’t a Ghibli movie. Absolutely incredible. Kamina is one of the most inspirational people and so is Simon

3. Saint Seiya, Saint Seiya Omega, Saint Seiya the Lost Canvass, Saint Seiya Knights of the Zodiac,

Warrior Astrological saints fighting the gods? Yes please.  Also I love all the spin offs and Omega and the new Kotz are wonderful and unfairly hated on. 

4. Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures

Its in the title. Each different Jojo is wonderful and unique and they’re all amazing and this stuff is just wild. 

5. Tiger and Bunny

I think the first modern superhero anime that lead to My Hero Academy and Such. I absolutely love Kotetsu and Barnaby’s becoming partners and also the being a hero versus hero celebrity and advertisement capitalism. 

6. My Hero Academy

I love superheroes and powered people and them wanting to be a hero. Kirishima and Izuku are absolutely incredible and Kirishima is just one of the greatest inspirational characters ever. 

7. Fire Force

Fire powers, cults, religion, the threat of people spontaneously going infernal and bursting into flames, heroism, it is just one of the best things I’ve ever seen. 

The only thing that really keeps it from being a great on the level of masterpiece (which it is in literally everything else) is the sheer female “fanservice” cringe. A lot of anime tend to do have at least some to appeal to the more perverted folk but Fire force has some of the worst I’ve ever seen which is saying something, Not on the levels of Bastard!! (I’m amazed that was something that was ever printed in a general audience let alone recently animated) or Enemy Combatants will be dispatched but definitely up there which is honestly really disappointing since Fire Force is not that type of story. 

On the other hand the male fanservice is glorious. 

8. Sk8 to Infinity

Skateboarding and Love. Reiki and Langa are Love as are Joe and Cherry. Adam is also one of the coolest most theatrical messed up people.

9. Love After World Domination

Super sentai parody. Just think power rangers except less focused on the battles because Red Gelato and Reaper Princess are on opposing teams and just doing a secret relationship. It is completely ridiculous, awesome, and so adorable I’m just screaming. I wish there was more and even could do complete anime original material I wish for because even the set up is something you can make multiple entire seasons worth . 

10. Tomodachi Game

Yuuichi is something else. It’s all a friend game which is more important friends or money and the twists keep coming. He’s one of the scariest protaginist “hero’s” i’ve ever seen that were actually the (more or less) good guy mains. 

11. Kaguya-Sama: Love is War

Also one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Both adorable and I want to also friendly choke the life out of them too to get them to admit because they’re all so adorably stupid smart people and just Shirogane and Shinomiya circling around totally in love and trying to make the other admit it. Also the narrator is just  glorious funny as heck and the openings are incredible lol.

12. Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Saiki is God. Utterly amazing one of the funniest greatest animes haha breaks the fourth walls, sheer comedic brilliance, incredible characters, Saiki’s logical going under things, and being complete tsundere in the actual way of how much he loves his friends lol. 

13. One Punch Man

It’s One Punch Man. Utterly hilarious and funny and just awesome characters and how one can still have an awesome story when Saitama can one punch everything except for like the final boss which doesn’t last two and be victorious. His power is so phenomenal he has to be nerfed by his complete oblivious apathy for well obvious reasons. People need to stop ranking power levels that involve Saitama though: there is no scale he either always wins in his universe or would probably get his butt kicked in other universe if he doesn’t have his one punch. It just doesn’t work. 

14. Kuroko no Basketball

The sports anime. Basketball with essentially superpowers in awesome ways but still played realistically. Everyone is incredible!

15. Hinomaru Sumo

I never thought I would be interested in Sumo until this. I’m not into sports in real life anyways but these animes are incredible. And Hinomaru Sumo is just supremely underrated also one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Tradition, Honor, Spirit, as well as differing body types and incredible characters. Gojo Yuma’s genuine repentance arc is also one of the best things i’ve ever seen and probably only just below Zuko the Avatar’s being on a smaller scale but he actually repents and atones and actually apologizes and works on himself which is rare. Lots of life lessons and characters, in addition to wrestling and it was just wow!

16. Kengan Ashura

Martial Arts, incredible bodies, and awesome characters!

17. Baki 

Same though Kengan Ashura is more realistic power based.

18. How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom

A political anime that was a good brevity of realpolitik while also being really enjoyable where its politics but wouldn’t get too stuck on it either. Of course some things would be a lot harder to get done realistically. It turns the normal hero from another world trope on its head and instead brought a leader who isn’t a fighter but a thinker and capable ruler. This is the ideal ruler and wow if only all politicians and leaders could work with such honor and integrity but he’s also not blind to those who don’t and outmanuevers them. It’s just so good!

19. Sword Art Online

Love it or hate it, deeply influential and fantastic. I love Kirito, Klein, Asuna and everyone. 

20. HunterXHunter

One of the greatest series of all time. When you think about it the world is utterly horrifying truly but it’s cool ad wacky and utterly amazing characters. 

21. Vinland Saga

OH my gosh my newest anime and one of the best things i’ve ever seen. Truly a masterpiece in every way, even before Part 2 comes out. It just has freaking everything: deep philosophy, religion, battles, politics, love, vikings, etc. Askeladd is one of the smartest, most ruthless, but most weirdly relatable villains ever, Thorfinn is how you do an angry feral blonde seeking revenge for the death of his father but also then starts to see Askeladd as his father figure etc, the sheer character developement that will go on in Prince Canute etc. 

22. Jujitsu Kaisen

Magic and Martial arts, and demon spirits. Yuji is adorable and I love everyone!

#My favorite Anime #Anime #Listing #No particular order #Yugioh #gurren lagann #Saint Seiya #Jojo's Bizarre Adventures #Tiger and Bunny #My Hero Acadamey #Fire Force #Sk8 to Infinity #Love After World Domination #Love is War #Tomodachi Game #disastrous life of saiki k #One Punch Man #Kuroko no basketball #Hinomaru Sumo #Kengan Ashura #Baki #How A Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom #Sword Art Online #HunterXHunter #Vinland Saga #Jujitsu Kaisen

[kulemii]

5/23/2022.

for the first time in about 3 or so months, i woke up on a monday without the slightest bit of anxiety. sure, i woke up before the sun could shine through my window but i woke up because my body felt rested and not because of a sequence of alarms. i scrolled on my phone for 30 minutes then i went to the kitchen (petting my oldest cat along the way) and made a pot of coffee. i washed my face and brushed my teeth and it didn't feel like a chore. i did those things so that i could prepare to start my day.

what's on the agenda for today, you ask?

writing, napping, vidjee games, cat petting and more writing.

today was supposed to be my last day at my job but i quit yesterday instead. i decided, just as they decided that i didn't deserve my final paychecks, that they didn't deserve my final day.

my employer taught me lots of things. one of the main things "good, professional behavior is not respected".

my job advertised 80 hours of vacation at the start of the year, to even newcomers like me. what they didn't explain, was the fine print: if you do not work to earn back each hour that you've used, when your employment with us ends, you must pay us the difference.

back in march/april i used a week (40hrs) of vacation. i started there in december and here i am leaving at the end of may. i only earned roughly 26 hours. so, without so much as a warning, they deducted roughly 14 hours from my most recent paycheck to get their money back.

essentially, they didn't give 80hrs of vacation-- they LOANED 80hrs of vacation.

i checked the handbook after i figured it out (because it wasn't explained to me) and lo and behold- it was there, at the very back of the handbook.... they got us all with their fine print. so i can't even dispute it.

the bastards.

but that my friends ain't even the real kicker. you wanna hear some REAL fuck shit?

i learned on saturday from my boss who had been investigating the whole thing for me (3 fucking days and no one, not even corporate payroll knew what vacation (r) meant-- i smell bullshit but wtvs)

the REAL kick in the tit:

had i quit without notice, just stopped coming in, not telling anyone anything- i'd have still gotten every fucking cent that i worked in the sweltering, humid ass southern heat for.

I TRIED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL AND I WAS FUCKING PUNISHED FOR IT.

i anxiously dealt with nearly six months of the most toxic, dingy, hostile ass work environment that i've ever experienced just to turn around and get screwed over in the end.

here's a list of other bullshit i had to deal with 5 days a week:

-aggressive sexual harassment by vendors and employees (one of a handful of women in a male dominated workplace)

-a coworker who is ten years my senior who never learned to not bring her personal life to work with her, who was insanely rude to strangers 8 hours a day (or shit talking them in my ear) so i felt the need to overcompensate with kindness to make up for her shitty behavior, who walked in slamming and throwing shit at 6am, who was in a one sided competition with me over men who made me uncomfortable, who would insist on sitting in the shack with me (imagine a shoe box with two people and computers) while playing videos, watching movies with vulgar sex scenes and listening to music on the highest possible volume, who got mad when i asked her to turn it down, who made me miss lunch on multiple occasions because she "got busy" (read: fell asleep in the patrol car), who tried to turn people against me once i finally started to stand up for myself after 4 months of tolerating her shit.

-an incompetent boss who is twelve years my senior who is too concerned with trying to be a friend of the world rather than keeping his employees in check, who when told about the behavior of the person above, would make excuses and say shit like "well, i've worked a whole 12hrs by myself without a lunch too", who (as a black man) told me (a black woman) that my coworker (a black woman) and i should physically fight about our differences instead of simply ceasing unnecessary communication with her, who never knew when to stop joking around, who threw hints rather than telling me directly when i was doing something wrong which hindered me from doing my job properly, who told me that getting sexually harassed "was a part of the job", who would laugh when i told him about the filthy things men 20+ years older than me would say and excuse them because they were "on the road for so long and probably frustrated"

-no hot water to wash my hands with on low temp days

-no cold water to drink on high temp days

-an a/c unit that picked and chose when it wanted to work

all on an hourly pay that was reduced by an dollar and some change, lower than what was the posted minimum because i "didn't have the experience"

i dealt with all of that for NEARLY six months and though i was at my limit and physically couldn't handle going in in the morning, i still showed up and tried to work through a two weeks notice just for them to take even more from me. btw they'd been fucking up my checks for two weeks even prior to this. :)

you always hear people say to leave jobs "the right way" because you'll never know when you'll need to go back. "don't burn bridges" they say but what about when jobs don't let you leave the right way? what about when jobs burn the bridges? what old saying gets thrown back in their face?

these companies don't give a fuck about us. why should any of us give a fuck about them? these companies have been doing things the 'old way' for so long and many of them are hurting because younger generations are starting to see through the bullshit. why the fuck did i give two weeks notice to a company that didn't even have the decency to give me two weeks notice that they would be taking my money from me?

if i can go the rest of my life without ever working for them again, i'll be fine. i've never left a job with such a sour taste in my mouth. i will never go back.

#5/23/2022 #kulemiisdiary

[audio-luddite]

Listening to tunes.

Right now I have that (not inexpensive ) Super Tramp "Breakfast" album. You know the Audiophile version A&M Canada made. It sounds really damn good. I gave it a good clean. Actually I bought a jug of "Groove Washer" which is made by the heirs of the original Disc Washer product. They claim to use the original formula. Not the made in China, not sure what it is, stuff. The bottle is big enough for 4 life times I think. It works good.

I spun up the LP with no real warm up. And it had some rough edges in the high treble. Even after a couple tracks it is getting better. Gotta work that entropy out you know. Get them electrons lined up and dancing.

I have spent maybe too much $$ on LPs recently. And some of the deliveries get dinged at the border by FEDEX. Free Shipping my ass.

The weather is cool and wet today. Perfect for sitting on the couch and using the system. Everything but the phono cartridge and the speakers is 30 or 40 years old. I would put it up against any system I have ever heard, or can hear in this city.

Yes we are still using the Tube Amp. It is lovely sounding. Over the last few days I have been thinking about and discussing why it sounds as it does. Usually Tube versus Transistors discussions fall into fights. One side against the other. Screw that, I like both sides for what they bring to the party.

Back when photography was all film some people swore by different brands and types of film. AGFA, FUJI, Kodak and others I cannot think of right now. (yes I am old). The reason they did was for the subtle differences the formulas gave to the resulting prints. Was one perfect or correct? No perfection then or now. But some films and print paper made really fine images. And that was the point!

Everybody seems to need to stick a war banner in some heap of truth. Tubes versus solid state is only one. Digital versus analog is big. Oh and you get magic speaker cables and interconnects. It all plays to a particular audience.

One thing the Tube Guru said to me in our dialog is that Audio Research had to keep faithful to the "tube sound" their customer base expects. They could but will not make a more perfect amplifier. Still they make things of excellent quality and have for many decades. Think about that against the ideal of continually improving. If you approach perfection the voice goes away.

I can testify that over 50 odd years of listening to stereos my system has got better, but the state of the art has not. It is a soft mushy set of goals with each team making their own rules.

Oh this track is amazing. A piano showing why it's a percussion instrument. Last track, hmmm inner groove distortion what's that? Aint any here.

Still have the AT 7V in the phaser TT. You want depth? That sax just strode up from the back to front.

Ok now for some serious Jazz. Miles Davis. This recording is almost as old as I am. The LP is new of course. Where did this idea of limited dynamic range come from. That Trumpet is powerful. I like that the mix does not try to park everyone in the centre. One Sax is hard left the other centre right. The drum kit is to the right. Piano centre left. I suspect the reverb is added. Oh I just checked the studio was a converted church and had excellent room sound. So apologies to the engineer, its real.

Just grooving.

I am going to stop writing now.

#audiophile #high end audio #audioblr #cheap audiophile #tubes vs transistors #audio technica #phase linear 8000a #vinyl

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Where is it we find peace? 2-3-24

"Buddha says "A child without courage is like a night without stars!" - Punjab

It's early.

Maybe 5:30 a.m. on this Friday morning and 4 am wake up calls . . .proves my age, I suppose.

On my mind . . .

A couple of the kids still out there in their struggles, trying their best to do it their way. And, although it isn't what I want for them, it is, in the end, on them.

Wanting to see successes from them regardless of how hard their head has to hit the wall, is something I'll carry with me always.

Love is unconditional.

Help and boundaries are not, or at least we try to hold tight, for everyone's benefit. Benefits not always seen in the short sight.

Umm, we are also going to have a few of the grands this weekend. Our youngest granddaughter had her first overnight here with her big sister, and when we take her home later her big sister will stay behind, as we wait for another granddaughter from a different family set to start a mini birthday party/sleepover celebration. Just the 2 of them. It's a little exciting, and it's always nice spending time with the grands.

Work is starting to pick up and get back on track. Starting the year with a couple of very decent jobs. Follow the Pride Fence Page for details and updates. Lol no lol

!~I had my 2 month old phone shoot craps at the beginning of the week. Usually, I imagine, most of us would start the nonstop adventure of replacing it asap. It's almost debilitating just accidentally leaving it behind or losing it. Am I right?

After printing map instructions to my job, like the Geico caveman, I had to head out because i had to be there no matter what.

I spent the day fighting all urges to call it quits and go get a new phone.

Feeling like a dopehead trying to not hit the pipe while still in the trap house, I made it through. At the end of the day, I went and got myself a new phone, new carrier, etc.

Other than just being beat out of about 2 months' worth of messages, pics, contacts, and overall data, I'm no worse for wear.

It did make me think about our way of life, though.

Like our, as in "OUR", big our, all of us here, at least in this country and culture.

Some of us older people might stand a bit better of a chance than the younger generation, but it would still be so devastating a collapse that recovery would feel impossible if we seriously lost all technology, or even just the internet.

Collapse.

Hard reset.

We depend so much on this stuff to maintain our way of life. Some may brag that they can live off the land etc, etc, but unless you're a backwood/mountain country person who only goes to town once or twice a year to trade, we would all be affected.

Obviously this happened the way it was supposed to, but man . . .I'm not looking forward to "suppose to" to be attached to the collapse of society.

I guess that empties my mind enough to restabilze my mental and emotional state for the week.

Thanx for taking time to hear me out.

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

And remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around, and be kind as always as possible.

We're all just a dead phone away from an uncomfortable day. Lol

Until next week;

"You love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back" - Grace Farrell

[ashlyy23]

Creative Introduction

Avp reporting as ordered sir. I’m Ashley V. Pajarillo, a clone of my father, you can call me by my second name “Ashley”. I have a Clone personality. If you all know the movie “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones”, that is where I got my clone personality. Clones are engineered to follow orders without question. I follow orders as long as it is good and will not hurt other people. I am the youngest among the two and I am close to my elder sister. We are six years apart from each other.

Ever since I was a child, I have really loved to play lego because I find it enjoyable especially when I build a piece of it. It is my hobby to play lego up to these days. I have a collection of it in my room. I also have gundams, star war clones, and dinosaur legos. I always watch the movies Star Wars and How To Train Your Dragon. I even share my interests with my friends who also love to watch it.

Growing up, I found out that I have potential in playing volleyball. It has become my hobby since then, until it became my sport. I am really excited to play volleyball with my friends and because of it I met a lot of people. I even joined our intramural volleyball team in National College of Business and arts-Cubao. Last school year, we won the championship among high school students. It was fulfilling because it was all worth it- our training and determination in this sport.

I find myself as an introvert because I only socialize sometimes and when someone approaches me. I also have this feeling of low battery, like a phone. That's why I am putting myself in power saving mode. I always think that I am a boring person because I always have nothing to say or I can say that I’d rather choose to listen than to talk but someone said to me that I am not because she really loves to talk and she wants someone who listens to her.

People describe me as kind, generous, rare, and they are scared of me when I get mad. I am thinking why they call me a rare person. They say that I am rare because this generation is full of men who's into bad things like smoking, drinking, and many other things that are against my belief. I do not even play with other girl’s hearts or even take advantage of them. I admit that there are some girls who confess to me but I am not looking to myself as someone who is superior. I felt shy when they asked me to take a picture with them. I just want to be myself and to have my own world and that’s why I know that I am an introvert. They also told me that people who are kind and rarely get mad are the ones who are scared to deal with when they are mad and I am one of those people.

There is a girl named Denise who came into my life when I was in grade 11 and she is in grade 12 that school year, We were at the same age and she always asked me to print her work. We always talk about something random every night, she is a talkative girl tbh but listening to her is what I liked the most instead of listening in class. She talks while I listen. Days passed and my feelings were getting clear to me. The academic week is about to start and I finally confessed to her personally. I've been her suitor for 4 months and now she is my girlfriend. I was so happy when she answered me, I told her that she answered me to the people who walked passed us even the vendor or the Iced coffee. I told her that I'll still court her and be better every day and I love her so much po.

I'll share something about my family. My Father is a cameraman in a sabong sport, it is a chicken fight to be easily understood. He is the one who supports us in our education and daily needs. My mother is the one who cooks for us and takes care of us. I'm not allowed to share this but I'll just share it anyway, my mom has been sick since I was younger, and I took care of her sometimes at home when the sickness was attacking, Sometimes she vomits, gets nausea (nahihilo), and body aches. I always try my best to take care of her because I know that someday she'll get better and I always pray to God to make her better and our Lives better.

#creative writing

[drthotmd]

1. A lot. I feel like I have to look a certain way a lot of the times and also I’m afraid to change things about myself. Honestly it’s hard to maintain just the wat I look now which isn’t even that amazing or anything.

2. My face looks weird sometimes. I feel like it’s not healthy to answer this question.

3. Yes a lot of the time when I was younger comments would be made by my mother about clothes I wore being too tight. I remember I had this cool tiger shirt when I was like..nine or even younger and it was rainbow and black with maybe like zebra print even.it was the first time o was really aware.

4. Meh, I don’t know. I don’t keep up with my skincare routine that wwll or do anything to change it.

5. Yes, a lot, unfortunately. But I feel like other people started doing it first to me.

6. Yes of course. Sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to be spending all my money getting fake eyelashes, getting professional services done at a salon, etc. I should be a certain size and dress a certain way and act a certain way. If I don’t have the perfect skincare routine, it’s embarrassing. If I don’t eat certain foods, it’s embarrassing or vice versa.

7. Yes there are so many beautiful ppl online. Plus there’s the thinh where men have a gf yet follow all these fake Instagram models, watch p*rn, comparison everywhere to something that isn’t real. I hate it. I have to compare myself to women who don’t exist preemptively to protect myself. It hurts a lot actuslly.

8. I don’t even know. Some days it’s fine other days it’s the fight from hell.

9. Anxiety

10. I wish my friends never have the same thoughts as me. If I spent /3 of my thoughts and energy not on my appearance I would be so much farther in life. Genuinely. I try to tell myself that every day.