#i wish it wasn't

[gabichanwrites]

Imagine you have a character, a broken, vicious man who bites and spits venom even at a person he loves the most, who pushes the buttons of his love just because this toxic familiarity is all he knows, just because it's all he feels safe doing. And then his love finds another person who brings out such a different part of them, a part this character never could or maybe just long forgot how to do. He drowns in jealousy, in his bitternes, he hurts his love, he hurts his love's beloved, their crew... And finally gets what he wanted. Finally has his Blackbeard back, finally can forget about the part of Ed he can no longer reach... But suddenly Blackbeard is unpredictable even to this character.

And suddenly everything changes as he slips and can no longer even enjoy the familiar toxicity because he saw something better and kinder and selfishly wishes for it too, despite it all. And suddenly he understands people around him, people who never saw the evil in Edward, and suddenly he realizes it's his fault. All of it, just a part of it - doesn't matter. He caused this and nobody is happy, not even him.

And then, despite everything, others start to care for him. They tell him "We think you're in a toxic relationship" as if they didn't know it was him who brought Blackbeard back and they hug him tight as if he wasn't the once to sentence them to this horror and they hold his hand when he panics. They experience kindness and hope in a miserable place, maybe a glimpse of what made Blackbeard so soft for a moment there. And when everything falls apart, when he takes the final tumble in this horrible dance he has with Blackbeard, somebody is there to hold him up. Somebody is there to criticize his drinking and make him a new leg and call him their unicorn. The character is "their bastard", he is part of them. He is part of something kind and accepting and he shyly embraces the new familarity-that-might-be, even when he still insults and retreats and bottles stuff up because maybe if he seems fine he can help others, maybe in the end he can be loved in a way as kind as theirs. Maybe he can have a family.

So once they are again in danger he takes the chance and speaks boldly and captures the ominous attention of the enemy. He takes a risk for them. He takes a bullet for it. He rests in the arms of his love and tells him he's sorry even when he could never accept the other's apology. He never gets the chance to try more and forgive more and try to be forgiven more. He can only ever serve as a tool for another character, can never evolve to existing on his own, to healing on his own.

You are Izzy Hands. You are drowning in your mistakes and the toxic familiarity you're too afraid to get out of. And once you dare to try...

The show would rather have you die than give you a chance at healing and happiness.

Your death doesn't prove a point and it doesn't mean anything. It's just cruel.

#Izzy hands #yes i am dramatic #yes i may be a spoilsport #whatever i am is also so incredibly bitter #because the way this story ended is disrespectful to us all #because even if we never fell as low as Izzy #this is still Our Flag Means Death #the show which never gave a damn about historical accuracy or brutal reality #a sit-com about silly gay pirates who get to joke and adventure and open up to each other and heal #so why does a character who has only just begun healing in any way has to die #what is the point? #why can't he leave the stage with the rest of his crew-family #finally opening up to them? #why does Ed and Stede deserve a happy ending but not Izzy? #ofmd #ofmd critical #i wish it wasn't

[cheesydelphox]

the worst feeling in the world has got to be going to karaoke but having nobody to sing with bc nobody wants to sing with you ☹️

#this is my mood currently #i wish it wasn't #but it's my mood #it sucks because i like singing more than anything but now i'm just left to watch other people sing #txt post

[wasyago]

Can you draw that snail? You know the one who got out of Grian's power and started to eat Gem's lighthouse?

little guy <3

alternatively: big guy.

#hermitcraft #grian #geminitay #my art #sketch #drawing a snail with teeth wasn't on my bingo card for this year but here we are #ALSO god can you imagine a dungeon meshi au with grian as a dm and snail as his animal? all he wished for was a mending book....... #the brainrot is strong im being tormented by the demons ( my own ideas ) #ALSO 2.0. does anyone remember that snail from adventure time? i mean. cmon. i mean..? hello?

[i-am-not-you-anymore]

I hate when I think something and then get sidetracked because that same thought gets banished to shadow realm for eternity. It's never coming back to me, lost in the sea of the other forgotten thoughts.

#head empty #unfortunately #i wish it wasn't #that would make thinking so much easier

[maxiswar]

i hate how easy it is for me to be sad

#sadness is comforting #to me at least #i wish it wasn't

[cotton-posting]

And his body just disappeared due to some ghost or something. You know THE USUAL :P

THAT IS IN NO WAY AT ALL USUAL??

#ask #pikposting #MAYBE USUAL FOR HIM? #I wish it wasn't #Starsdamnit

[dontfuckingtouchme1]

It's maddening to feel like you're loved and then to not feel loved but, every one seems to treat my heart like a yoyo. The thing that can be put down and picked up in a few months. Maybe the thing you forgot about until you revisit your childhood home. Either way, I'm never the favorite, just a novelty.

#my feelings #he loves me #he loves me not #idk what im doing #novelty #i just want to feel okay #i want to be loved #vent #vent post #i hate this #childhood home #i wish it wasn't #id do anything #i want to feel loved

[imaginaryfriendtoamadwoman]

I love you and I hate you. Why did you make me do this.

Because it’s funny. And you did it. And deep down, I know you liked it.

It sounds like you’re talking about weird sex.

I’m not. Show them.

Why though.

Because.

#conversations with imaginary people #imaginary friend #my little pony #my little pony oc #yes! this is the devil as a my little pony #i wish it wasn't #luci ma boy

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[dreamerdagn]

my tears of the kingdom experience so far

#catfishchat #totk #things really opened up for me when I realized that any time I was frustrated I could go somewhere else #edit: I do really wish I'd kept the essence of If It Sucks Hit Da Bricks #esp since my point wasn't about warping but the fact that you can leave almost any situation #you can warp you can jump you ascend you can hit da bricks #but I said warp and the pic is of him jumping so Hit Da Bricks didn't make sense #catfish post #loz

[gum-iie]

centuries wept away

#PUTAIN DE MERDE MON PETIT MEOW MEOW #JE SAIS QUE TU PEUX LIRE CETTE NEUVILLETTE JE VIENS POUR TON PETIT CUL SERRÉ #genshin impact #neuvillette #he's so pretty i almost forget he's french #i want to nibble on his ears and make him cry and then apologize to him for the rest of my life for it #originally wasn't going to finish this but the last time i tried pulling for a character i didn't draw baizhu came 10 wishes from max pity #procrastination doodles

[zillychu]

I've seen a couple people saying they're jumping ship for [other big socmed] after the AI announcement here, but like. Guys. Friends. You do realize all the other sites have been silently working with big AI companies for a while now. Bluesky has not implemented any acknowledgement or protection, and the CEO worked with crypto for years. They're just not broadcasting it or giving you an option to help remove your work from automatic scraping. Cohost has implemented similar levels of prevention compared to Tumblr.

I greatly prefer the transparency and the tiny bit of protection, no matter how flimsy. Tumblr is pretty awful, but it's still better than everything else so far. Which sucks but until we burn down the plutocracy, this isn't gonna be escapable.

(Also, no Tumblr did not quietly sneak this in. They literally announced it before implementing.)

And my thoughts on the CEO being... himself.

#Tumblr #zilly squeaks #i wish Pillowfort wasn't so riddled with bugs #actually i wish Tumblr + Twitter got ethical CEOs with working brains #this isn't a 'you shouldn't leave' argument btw #just my personal feelings on it. including the worry that someone may jump from the frying pan into a fire bc Tumblr isn't perfect

[ionomycin]

The wizard and the dark knight

#artists on tumblr #dnd #hoo boy we're in it now #tweeber crashing and burning down #if it wasn't so vital for so many people's careers #and income #i'd say it's for the best #but unfortunately a lot of us are kinda fucked #prayer circle for twitter artists and creators #time to learn german real fast in case i gotta apply for non art jobs too #it is what it is #job market kinda unstable for a lot of fields right now #i wish many jobs upon those that want them #job ray go bzzzz

[lotus-pear]

lore accurate chuuya canonically drives a 2006 sparkly barbie motorcycle

#for the love of god someone pls take away my artist privileges #this came to me in a fever dream except i wasn't actually sick just delusional #the pink leather jacket was a gift from kouyou for his sixteenth birthday and he's obliged to wear it everytime he takes the motorcycle out #dazai finds it absolutely fucking hilarious and probably takes blackmail photos except you can't blackmail a bad bitch like chuuya so #every time you open his photos he's probably the only one getting embarrassed bc it's all pics of his partner👹 #anyway he looks so bbygirl in pink i wish he changed his outfit for smth other than official art #but alas #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #lotus draws

[uncanny-tranny]

Not a day goes by where I do not think about the advent of medicine like PrEP and wonder just what the people - especially queer people - who passed from HIV/AIDs during the AIDs crisis would think

And then, I read this survivor's testimony and it just makes me emotional. I think this is the closest answer we have. HIV has changed, and we must always remember the people who didn't see that change before it happened.

#gay #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #described images #image description in alt #i do try to learn from older queer people about this tome period because i wasn't around for it #but i always wondered what the people who didn't make it would have thought of where we are now #there's this weird grief and celebration because i am so glad we are where we are. i just wish everybody cpuld have seen this #this is why it's so important to learn from each other about everything #it takes a village to create community #i have been thinking about that twitter post at LEAST once a month since i first saw it #very complex feelings on this one folks #there is so much left to learn i think but this just hits me in a specific way

[the-daily-life-of-jaycore]

Day #2

It's currently 2:09 pm. Woke up at 1 am to have lunch and now I'm back on the computer. I swear my eyes feel like they're swollen. Too bad I have to do my PTs. I promised myself that I'd wake up early so I can do y laundry. But my sleep-deprived ass couldn't sleep until FIVE FRICKING A.M!!! Like pls, I wanna sleep early so I can wake up early but it's so hard to do that. And honestly F math. Why??? Do we learn??? So much??? Complicated stuff when we aren't even gonna use it in the future!!! Like my cousin asked her cousin if they ever use any of the things they got taught in math and they are like "Not rlly".... NOT RLLY?!?! Then why the f do we even LEARN this shiz. Almost seems like a waste of our time. I know math is important, but only in specific jobs. I mean I am an ADT (Arts & Design Track) student, not ABM or STEM. It makes sense for those two strands to need to know more than the basics but an ART student?? There are only specific maths we need to know. We don't need to know everything.

#senior high school #stressed #frustrated #f math #math is hard #math is important #I wish it wasn't #the daily life of jaycore