#i'm actually losing my mind here

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i don't THINK this counts as face horror but just in case #face horror #for your daily dose of me losing my mind over anime characters #i don't know why the hair thing surprised me so much. i think because i thought it was funny that lilia named silver after his hair color. #like ha ha lilia is hilariously bad at names how cute and silly! #oh. oh it's kind of a Thing. #anyway i am excited to see where the heck all of this stuff with silver's various dads ends up! #we still don't actually know who killed meleanor! #we still don't know literally anything about dad draconia! (dadconia? dradconia?) #we don't know what happened to the macguffin gem with its magical dad-saving powers! #(surely this will not come back to save a certain dad at a later point. of course not.) #man i was not expecting episode 7 to be all dads all the time #i mean i'm here for it but #hey remember when the highest stakes were who was gonna win the big talent show #then robots started kidnapping people and now we've just escalated from there #episode 8 our cat is going to turn into a drippy ink kaiju and we're going to have to mecha battle him to save the world or something #each member of diasomnia pilots a limb and we gattai into a giant robot dragon and hold on i gotta submit this spec script to aniplex brb

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai has a distant, well adjusted cousin named Shuuji who is ACTUALLY the evil mastermind of BSD. Thoughts?

My god. I think you've done it. I think you've solved BSD.

I hope it gets revealed scooby-doo style but everyone is just confused at the reveal because Shuuji looks identical to Dazai, kickstarting another several year long arc that is just a dramatic case of miscommunication.

Alternatively, Shuuji poses as Dazai for a bit then dramatically whips off the mask of his Dazai disguise, only for the Agency to just straight up not believe him and go back to their work because they think it's just more Dazai shenanigans that they are unfortunately used to. They keep dismissing the possibility as ridiculous, which makes Shuuji start to doubt his own identity. Ranpo, of course knows, but he is too busy grabbing popcorn and waiting for the guy to snap.

...or, most likely, he never even gets the chance to go in disguise because he's so painfully normal he's found out instantly.

Shuuji, pointing at Dazai: "Shoot him, he's the mastermind!"

Kunikida, aiming his gun at Shuuji with no hesitation: "The real Dazai would NEVER pass up a chance to die!"

#obsessed with the notion that the well-adjusted guy is worse somehow. #'actually dazai not being mentally ill would NOT make him better. to prove that here's his terrible normal cousin who is so normal' #whbefjvh #thanks for the ask! #bsd #bsd theories #<-I'm tagging it as this and no one can stop me. #storyrambles #to be clear i am losing my mind at this ahdbajvh #distant well-adjusted cousin shuuji

[lizardthelizard]

listen. LISTEN. I knoooowwwwwwwww that August has never been important enough for canon to ever bother expanding upon issues like this. I know, but...

In the pilot, we KNOW that Emma is lonely. We know this because she’s sat in her apartment, alone, celebrating her birthday by herself. It’s well established that Emma had no one she considered her family and has had extreme trouble connecting with people over the years (Neal, Lily and Ingrid as fleeting exceptions).

But August? Canon gives us NOTHING. We know almost NOTHING about his past in the Land Without Magic. We’re given the name of one (1) character (Isra) that he has a connection with (someone who is clearly not THAT important to him, as she’s never mentioned again ever) and that’s IT.

Emma stays in Storybrooke to begin with because of Henry, yes. But it’s not a particularly tough decision for her because, well...she has nothing to go back to anyway. And I can’t help but wonder how true that was for August as well? Like....??? did he bother to contact ANYONE when he thought he was dying???

August is a genuinely intelligent and charismatic character (albeit, a little obnoxious). I have no doubt that he has made friends + friendly acquaintances over the years. But close friends? People he can open up to about his past with and who won’t think he’s losing his mind? HIGHLY doubtful.

I know that the show didn’t really explore their friendship very much or expand on it in any meaningful way, but Emma and August’s relationship is sooooooooooo *chef’s kiss* to me. Yeah, they have genuine chemistry and a fun dynamic, yeah the ‘I can always tell when someone is lying to me’ character interacting with a character that is literally Pinocchio is funny af and surprisingly poetic. But also!!! These are two lonely, emotionally closed off characters that were essentially orphaned by their parents for 28 years that have both had shitty childhoods and have connected so genuinely with one another and I don’t know where I was even going with this but I love both of them so much and they both deserve this friendship and WHY WASN’T AUGUST AT EMMA’S WEDDING I’M STILL MAD ABOUT THIS OKAY

#sorry I actually don't know what this is #it's because it's August tomorrow. that/s all #I'm being weird about him #ANYWAY I JUST WANT THESE TWO TO TALK ABOUT THEIR SHARED PAST EXPERIENCES #(😏 which is something that I WILL be doing later in mim but shhhhhhh) #LICHERALLY losing my mind thinking about august's past #because emma had a shitty childhood (and adulthood) yes #but august has a whole ass past in the enchanted fucking forest!!!!!!! he;s LITEREALLY pinocchio and he has memories of that #and he can't talk to ANYONE about those memories or that past because3 they straight up wouldn't believe him!!!!!!! #and so either he HAS to let it go! OR ELSE he risks pushing that person away #OR EVEN WORSE he risks people thinking he needs to be put away somewhere or given serious therapy or whatever #*(he DOES need serious therapy. but that's not what I'm talking about here) #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #having a normal one this evening guys #august meta #(I mean. BARELY. but I still want it in that tag) #august booth #ouat

[finniestoncrane]

Pour myself over him, moon spilling in And I wake up alone 💖🖤💖🖤

#i just think he's really pretty here #also i'm just losing my mind making gifs instead of doing actual work??? #but i don't care can there ever be too many gifs?????? #NEVER #q #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #gotham #finnie gifs #gotham fox

[zukkaoru]

me: can i even successfully write a fic about this character/ship? because i feel like this is going to be a struggle

me, two days and 8k words later: ..huh

#this has happened twice. two weeks in a row. i think i'm actually losing my mind this is it guys this is the end for me #i'm going to write a scene where chess is a metaphor for sex and then i'm going to be struck down and blissfully taken away from this world #don't ask. #hello grace here

[cinna-bunnie]

there's this really funny thing cishet women used to do to me when i was a bi man where, upon learning I'm bi, suddenly pull out their phone to start looking up all their favorite men to see how i feel about them.

and like. I'm bi. i have all the choices in the world and there's all these beautiful queers with cool genders and ways of expressing themselves, and even some cishet ppl who are really just having fun with themselves - and you choose to show me the most boring chiselled men in suits??

by the time we hit somewhere from the 6th to 10th man feelings get HURT before I'm finally asked “well who do YOU think is cute!!?” and I blow their mind with my choices every time because i have good taste.

I'm sorry.. I don't know how to tell you you're picking from the bottom of the barrel here.. have you seen queer people?? the average woman??

#they lose their minds (good) over how beautiful queer men can be but.. won't date one #obv I'm being v general in my wording but I'm just thinking about like 2 or 3 specific people I've talked with irl #the last time was this girl trying to find a distraction on her dating app and she'd keep showing me dudes and I'd keep going #(⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) ... as long as u like him .. #i ghosted her over it actually 🧍‍♀️ she needed help getting the ball rolling so i helped her out a bit #and the dude she was talking with is so... he's an ex boot boy.. makes being street his whole personality but he's not black #and then she's over here wooed by him like a baby looking at some jangley keys.. girl.. we r not the same kind of person.. #we're not even Close 😹 lotta red flags w that one though i was kinda scared to let her get any closer to me but that's a whole other rant

[fluentisonus]

.

#I just feel so like. idk how to even describe my state of mind. #it's like I've gone from depressed in a dull helpless way to depressed in a hysterical way but sometimes for a #little bit I'm also normal. i feel like the most boring person in the world & also like I'm losing my mind. #i genuinely never thought i would actually really get to this point in my life ever. not in that i thought I'd die per se it was just never #real to me it never felt like something i could feasibly accomplish & now I'm there i feel like i just stepped off into the deep end of #some alternate universe world i shouldn't even exist in like i don't belong here. #like when i pictured my life as a kid reality just ended here & everything else was fantasy I realistically knew I never could do #& I'm Trying so hard to get myself a job so i can do smth with my life beyond sort of stewing in boredom & existential terror mixed but #i do not feel like a real person who could feasibly do that. like i just thought I'd disappear or something I don't know what I thought. #like someone would just close the picture book of my life because I'm not someone whose capable of living a normal life. #like I've failed the test (just like I always expected to!!!) but I'm still stuck here they forgot to take me out of the experiment. #<- sorry I'm okay mostly I'm just. really going through it w the transitional stage of life thing

[winterlady1967]

clocks in matteo jwhj 0175's Goncharov

I know we’re all a bit tired of talking about the clock symbolism in Goncharov, but there’s a fascinating story about it that I want to share.

So This post says that it was considered lost media until 2006, but that’s only in hindsight. The first full screening of the film didn’t take place until 2010, due to Russian mob interference. The Russian mob tried to destroy every print of it because of its critical portrayal of Soviet era government (and likely because of its heavily homoerotic undertones between Sofia/Katya and Andrey/Goncharov (and even Goncharov/Mario, although that is less obviously intentional).

But about the clocks: Christian Marclay’s art piece The Clock (2010) is a 24-hr supercut of clocks in films and television. The work itself functions as a clock, with the timepieces and clockfaces counting the hours, seconds, and minutes in real time. The film was shown at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, the Tate, The Lincoln Center, etc.

In 2006, while working on the idea for The Clock, he purchased two film cannisters from a garage sale, and used a couple clips from them to create The Clock.

Well, it turned out that he’d somehow come across some rough edits from a couple scenes from the lost Scorsese epic. Goncharov features twice—a shot of the clocktower from the dénouement, and the shot of Andrey’s watch (from the scene where he is waiting for his mark). When The Clock originally debuted, audiences were struck (pun intended) by the powerful imagery and uneasy tone of these two shots in particular. When asked about their source, Marclay shrugged and shared the story of finding them at a garage sale. (finding a full copy and restoring it is another long story that I can’t even get into rn bc it’s so complicated).

So even if we’re tired of talking about that symbolism, it’s literally because of its powerful imagery that we even know it exists.

In fact, Goncharov was still so controversial in Russia that The Clock had to be edited to show there. In 2011, The Clock showed at the Garage Center for Contemporary Art in Moscow. It was mired in controversy, and was re-screened with different clips substituted for the Goncharov appearances. Due to copyright laws, many scenes and clips of The Clock are technically illegal, and Russian interference made Marclay remove those clips entirely, which is the only version that exists now!! I haven't seen the original version bc thats now lost media too!! Anyway. CLOCKS. They're important.

#goncharov #martin scorsese #matteo jwhj 0715 #clock symbolism #JUST SO YOU KNOW: the hyperlinks here are real. they are not rickrolls #i reallyl ike the clock and this post is for leo <3 #unreality #to clarify: the clock and christian marclay are real. and it actually DID screen in moscow #but everything else is a lie. i'm lying. it's not real #i have literally more posts like this lined up bc im losing my mind. #pers #clocks #clocks in goncharov #gonchmeta #gonchlore

[starbuck]

— Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson

(insp)

#better call saul #breaking bad #bcs #brba #IT IS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #this is the Evil Gifset i've been talking about for AGES i've been going crazy over it alone for so long #not sure if it will Hit among the non-black sa.ils crowd - but i'm hopeful!! #i know Dorothy will appreciate it anyway (and Cleo too when she finishes) #istg when they actually namedropped Treasure Island in BCS i was losing my MIND... #this set was basically inevitable at that point #i just procrastinated a lot bc i didn't feel like tracking down the eps #but i DID so here we are!!!!!!!! #hope you enjoy and that it causes you great pain <33 #blood tw #injury tw #death tw #(ALMOST forgot to tag that whoops!! glad i remembered!) #lmk if y'all need it tagged with anything else #but Yeah. #it's just. about Love. #love is the point of everything forever and ever and it doesn't even matter but also it's the ONLY thing that matters #you feel me? #gus fring #lalo salamanca #nacho varga #marco salamanca #leonel salamanca #mike erhmantraut

[council-of-beetroot]

The problem with being a Hetalia fan is that you can make anything into Hetalia and now here I am in hysterics over fucking Aleksander Pushkin

#then Mickiewicz was like we're not friends anymore unfestandably #don't ask actually do ask I'm losing my mind here xdddddd

[charles-leclerc-official]

Oh to be a fly on the wall of the Ferrari offices during contract negotiations

#I know the tea is BOILING over there #Carlos is clearly not getting what he wants #and they are not messing around by saying they will just replace him with Pierre or Alex #and then there is Red Bull which has been shamelessly courting Charles on main #Feb 13th is gonna be crazy and not because of the car reveal #How long Charles contract is will tell us so much I am losing my mind over here #imagine it's not 5 years what that would mean? #I'm losing it actually a little #at this point I'll be impressed if Carlos gets a one year contract extension with the way he's been acting up in the press #I'm gonna throw up #tyre screeches

[amoneki-ramblings]

hngh. okay first rant post I just think amoneki is so insane especially for how much they care and respect for each other right up until the very end like???

okay first of all there's obviously the way that they outright say (even if it's not directly to each other) that they don't want the other to die

Also the fact that Amon tells Kaneki to take a Break. In the middle of a fight. (Which also adds him to the pool of characters that are trying to tell Kaneki to tell him to just let himself rest for once (who he does Not listen to))

Also the fact that when Kaneki deals his first (and only) potentially fatal blow to Amon Ever, instead of feeling betrayed by the fact that he was trying to avoid attacking him before or thinking "Oh so this is where he finally tries to actually kill me" Amon just calls Kaneki strong. He Cut Off His Arm and Amon's first thought is just to say that he thinks he's strong, even if this should technically be a sort of betrayal to all their previous encounters and a Contradiction to what Amon observed at the beginning of this fight about how Kaneki really wasn't planning on killing him (it's like even though this happened he knows deep down that it wasn't with a real killing Intent).

He doesn't even think about himself or that he might Actually Die he's just thinking about Kaneki even right then and afterwards

(ohhh my god I hate Amon (/affecionate) I have so many Thoughts about him especially thoughts Specifically about how he has a sort of idealized version of Kaneki in his head from the few times they've interacted I could talk about it for Hours (but then I'm gonna be here for ages and I will get So off track) )

And it's also about the fact that. In his final thoughts/words in tg Kaneki opens up with Amon's words; these are his words that have been stuck in his head ever since he first heard them and they are some of the last words he clings to before he's "erased". (When I first saw that line near the opening of the final chapter I almost lost my Shit) Like,

It's about how even up until the end they're thinking about what they said to each other at that first encounter by the river

It's about how much impact they've had and Continue to have on each other even when they're basically Dying (and it's partially the others' fault)

It's about the actually Insane amount of parallels and the flipping of their situations between their first encounter and their last (in the original series)

It's about how neither of them deal the killing blow in an "unfair" fight (when the other is basically disarmed) but once they're on equal grounds that's the closest they've come to Actually killing the other and even then they don't want that to Actually happen and both hold onto that same thought

It's about how the natural thing would be for them to just fight and/or kill the other without a thought but they don't because "This guy's Different"

Enemies to It's Complicated. Enemies to you-have-impacted-my-worldview-in-irreversible-ways-and-I-wish-I-could-just-sit-down-and-talk-with-you-but-can't

Enemies to I-should-hate-you-because-you-(technically indirectly)-caused-the-death-of-someone-I-cared-about-but-also-your-words-won't-leave-my-head-and-I-want-to-know-more-about-you-also-I-don't-want-to-kill-you-but-you're-not-leaving-me-much-choice

Amoneki divorce has me so fucked up

#tokyo ghoul #tg #kaneki ken #amon koutarou #amoneki #amoneki ramblings #koutarou amon #ken kaneki #while i know a lot of what happens between them in :re i'm not actually There yet #so i'm stuck in a perpetual cycle of looking at them in original tg #and losing my mind Every God Damn Time #i did it i made a post. i made a blog in fact i got encouraged and caved Instantly #ummmm psss pss there's amoneki here if you're interested #however also please read my pinned i (shamefully) have not finished the manga (yet) i'm working on it okay !! #these mfs interact directly like Four times and i am playing those scenes on loop forever in my head #they're so married they're so divorced it's ruining my life /pos #okay but actually i spent like an hour writing this instead of doing homework so maybe /neg too #they're so married and donato knows it's like not even funny #absolutely terrified about posting in the main tags but. gotta get out there somewhere right??

[raayllum]

Worth, love, sacrifice 

They said that, sometimes, we make sacrifices so that the ones we love don’t have to. It’s part of protecting them—part of protecting you. Taking on hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love. It’s a gift. So, please let me give you this gift, Callum. Stay safe, and stay in the light.

#rayllum #cube hostage exchange theory #mutual salvation theory #*crying* oh yeah it's all coming together #s4 #s4 is my best friend #parallels #arc 1 #arc 2 #rayla who thinks the only Worth her life has is to be a sacrifice #like shut up SHUT UP #i'm actually losing my mind #him stepping up to get her sword in a shot that makes it look like he's at an altar i Hate it here #s5 speculation #i feel like maybe this only makes sense to me but that is more than enough tbh #multi #gift motif #like there was a reason watching 4x08 when rayla stepped up first i really thought she might just be like i'll sacrifice myself u can eat me #LIKE GIRL PLEASE

[miallurk]

In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!

#i am losing my sanity day by day #drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day #why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about #don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha #ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't #fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess #am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story! #i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow #vent ig #my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol #nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays #at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig #anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs #when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop #anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go #please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you #i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just. #all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this #for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect #and care made me expect it more? fuck #i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person. #everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things #long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider #my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at #at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person. #my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got #to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me. #this is showing so many issues. #so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12 #i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering

[3-aem]

So another i hate america moment, turns out my insurance won't cover the inhaler i need to y'know, breathe, unless i get a preauth for it (proooove, prooove to us u cannot breathe without this special powder) so tonight we are drawing gojo while being so short on breath it's dizzying and my head a lil numb

#mildly pissed at my friend who is going back to canada #and i was like can u please bring back my refill for me like it's already packaged and everything #and she just No. #no bc what if they check and ask for a prescription #and I'm just sitting here dying like......OKAY WELL I GUESS THAT'S FAIR #maybe I'm too ride or die like it's an asthma inhaler #its not a prescription drug like xanax geez girl #and i literally bring my drugs back and forth they have never once questioned: hey is this actually urs #bc wtf it's AN INHALER IT LOOKS LIKE AN INHALER #IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE DRUGS IT LOOKS LIKE THE POOR LIFELINE OF A DYING WOMAN #she's acting like I'm asking her to smuggle 100 kilos of cocaine #IT'S AN ASTHMA INHALER #and then she was like can u just come back to Canada too #like???? #girlie could u save me the 1.4k trip to see a family i rather do not want to see and a flight i absolutely panic over #AND JUST BRING ME THE INHALER #anyway reddit aita idk i think this is stupid #maybe I'm just losing my mind over this like #infinitesimally small chance they will check #like it's borderline illogical #the idea that tsa who screens thousands of ppl a day #is now taking the time to verify drug ownership #when they don't even like it when i take more than 2 seconds to take off my coat and put it in the bin #I'm getting too pissed about this i shall step back

[ferronickel]

Looking Glasses Announcement: Unfortunately, I'm going to have to put the comic on hiatus for a while.

TL;DR: I hurt myself and won't be able to draw for a while, but I predict I should be able to start updating again in two weeks.

I've avoided mentioning this on here, but drawing this comic has given me a pretty severe repetitive stress injury. Turns out you can hurt yourself if you draw 4+ hours a day in addition to your 9-5, who knew? I've been seeing a physical therapist about it, and was in a good place for a while, but I was slacking a bit recently and let things get bad.

Basically I need to take a break and not use my hands for a while. I haven't worked on any art for the last three weeks, new pages are coming from the buffer that I've built up, which has run out. Well, I actually have one more unreleased page, but I think I'm going to hang onto it, because this is a good cliffhanger. ;)

I'm using my vacation time to take an entire week off work, and just rest. I'm already feeling a lot better than I was three weeks ago, so I'm optimistic that I should be able to ease back into drawing at the end of the week. My hope is that I should be able to have new pages in two weeks, but I'll keep you updated.

I have some plans for supplemental content I can release during the hiatus. I'll put out a poll in a bit to see what people are interested in.

Thanks for reading the comic, I love working on it, and am itching to get back to work as soon as I feel better.

#This is the actual reason I slowed down updates for the light world pages #don't be like me #please take breaks and do your stretches! #I'm so pissed this happened when it did #I'm so close to the end of totk and can't finish it :( #and right after I introduce Dess? #the comic was finally picking up it's pace and now I can't touch it for weeks? #I'm losing my mind over here #nickel for my thoughts #looking glasses