#im a get shit for my views on trans i think but im too fucked up to care anymore

[shvdowsdrowned]

My dad has a coworker/friend (on thin ice but anyways) who is VERY homophobic/transphobic and he pisses me off everytime he talks to my dad on the phone I hope I never have to interact with him

#my dad verbally agrees with him but im 99% sure thats just to shut him up faster #but i am definately scared of the 1% where my dad actually agrees n i think thats why i dont like my dad talking to him #bc i dont want him to fuck up the work ive done to change my dad's views since coming out as queer/trans #uggghhhh im so glad we're moving lmao #him and my dad talked this morning and im still annoyed about it so i just had to get this off my chest i guess lmao #also the friendship being on thin ice is bc of something else but honestly i hope this shit is contributing to it too #i met him once but it was a very quick interaction. not much talking happened he just gave me a pizza from my dad lmao

[papakhan]

Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it

the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"

what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.

the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.

And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).

sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY

My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.

anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3

#ask to tag #txt

[joyful-witch]

Besties I strongly dislike Scott Cawthon but the fnaf movie was good and I’m annoyed that it was good. Like. The joy I felt watching the movie (and also cried like twice cus it hit way too close to home as an older sibling) is unparalleled. But also. Scott Cawthon is an awful person and supports people who want me dead? And also doesn’t believe women should have the right to basic medical care? And. My feelings are so conflicting rn. I want to separate my love for the series from Scott Cawthon. But if I did that I wouldn’t be any better than HP fans.

I think it’s okay to have these complicated feelings and talk about them. I’m still trying to figure it out myself?

I guess the big difference between JKR and Scott is that he avoids talking about his opinions and the only reason we know these things is due to his voting record and who he gives money to (which btw I don’t believe donating to lgbt charities makes up for voting for the party that wants to commit genocide against us. It’s still shitty. Like yay he’s donating to the Trevor project but also. Damn voting for these people that want us to not have rights and don’t want us to be alive really hurts).

He is still actively harming the community. Even if he isn’t outwardly spewing hateful rhetoric (unless he’s gotten worse. Or unless his opinions have rapidly changed over the past couple of years. If so please feel free to correct me, just not without sources).

But his series has basically transcended his control. It’s not controlled by him. It’s controlled by the fans. Half the shit that’s canon now wouldn’t be canon without the fans and it’s this big collaborative effort and that’s what’s so beautiful about it. Unlike jkr whose views and specifically racism are baked into her properties.

But he still gets money from it.

And he could be using that money to support some really awful people.

Idk. It’s complicated.

I don’t like or support Scott Cawthon. But I love fnaf. I grew up with it. I love the community. And it really influenced my love for horror media. And gods this movie was great. I had such a good time watching it.

I don’t know what point I’m trying to get at.

I guess I’m just sorta venting.

It sucks loving something when it’s creator who actively gains money from it supports some truly awful people.

I want to be able to put my feelings aside so I can joyfully rant about this movie without mentioning “gosh I wish Scott wasn’t involved” but that obviously isn’t the case.

I don’t expect any response to this post. Im just sorta putting my feelings out there into the void. And if someone relates I hope they know they aren’t alone.

And if you’re gonna say something hateful or something that outwardly supports conservatives I will gladly block you. There is no excusing the active genocide being perpetrated by the Republican Party against the queer community, but more specifically trans people. And if you support that then you can gladly get the fuck off my page. I will not tolerate bigotry.

Also don’t harass anyone mentioned in this post. I really don’t want their fans to harass me and don’t want them to have a reason to. I’m not very popular but last time I posted about Scott I got a bunch of death threats from a bunch of middle aged white men and trolling teenagers. And I do not have the mental capacity to deal with that right now. I’m dealing with a nasty bout of Covid and a nicely sized second degree burn from a cooking accident on top of my chronic illness I don’t need to be harassed.

K thanks bye

#fandom posting #TW Harry Potter mention #TW Scott cawthon #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers #kind of? #idk it’s established quickly he’s an older brother but still #anyhow #fuck Scott cawthon #but the movie was good #vent post #tw jkr mention #TW genocide mention #TW republicans mention #trans rights #trans rights are human rights #my post

[protosymphonette]

Legion Courier lore, I beg of thee… alms for the poor 😔🫴

anon ive been staring at this ask in my inbox for a solid week trying desperately to get my thoughts together about this fuck. ive made 3 drafts. i think i finally got it this time (cracks knuckles) here we go prepare for incomprehensibility (under the cut because im not subjecting everybody to that on the dash)

his name is The Happy Smiler (because i am always so serious about naming my characters) but i just call him Happy for short. i think that his "principles" (if you can call them that. principles used very lightly) are wholly centered around doing anything to survive. in my head i tend to compare him to a scavenger, like a turkey vulture or a coyote, and i think thats pretty accurate. he will do most ANYTHING to survive and in this particular case that "anything" is siding with the legion. the wastelands capitol-f Fucked and the legion at least has a tighter grip on their territory than the ncr does.

he also partially sides with the legion because he thinks it might be interesting and even a little fun, in its own fucked up and evil way. he wants some spice in his life.

hes not the smartest cookie in the jar but that doesnt mean hes an idiot. hes got enough brains in him to know when hes being used but he doesnt really... gaf. as long as hes in a decent place it doesnt matter how everybody else is feelin. he mostly views people as like... "how will this person be of use to me" maybe hes got some form of undiagnosed psychopathy, i dont know. dont quote me on that

hes an eeeextremely stealth trans man (because the majority of the wasteland doesnt fw transgenderism) and hes so stealth that sometimes even HE forgets that hes trans. he did his own top surgery and by god is it fucked up. related: hes addicted to buffout because i imagine its like... fucked up wasteland testosterone

back to my vulture comparisons; yup, hes a cannibal. hes not one to let perfectly good delicious food go to waste and people are no exception. hes aware that it probably isnt the best for his image to be eating people, but, to reiterate: he does not care.

despite his low charisma hes good at bullshitting his way out of things because of how good of a poker face (by lady gaga) hes got. more on his stats: hes got low perception and intelligence too, but he makes up for it with high agility, endurance, and strength. i think that he... could be smarter. but getting shot in the head jumbled his brain up and fucked him up sizeably. the whole getting shot fiasco also probably added to his irritability and lack of empathy thing. anyway thats it for my stream of consciousness thanks for listening to me jabber on, to the 5 people who will read this

tldr; this guys fucked up! damn!

also here are some stupid shits...

#fallout new vegas #fnv #courier 6 #hmm... still need oc tag #ill just do the tried and true #oc: happy #symphonart #<technically. #ask

[unidentifiable-body]

"Haha, yeah this is where i sleep. Take a seat anywhere I guess."

#1 NEET IN THE WORLD!!!

Getting a job is too much work. I think i'll stay home instead.

life is so cute!!!!!!lifeissocutelifeissocutelifeissocute!!!!!!!!( ≧ᗜ≦)

A MOTHERFUCKING AMALGAMATION OF SHIT.

Dont get your wires crossed!!!!!!!!!

WE ARE A SYSTEM!!!

Zomg haiiiiiiii!!! My name is Jev, Moon, Max, Sal, Lumala, Buzzy, Ennard, Or Bee. (Though i do prefer Jev or Ennard) I am Puerto Rican and American (as well as half native!) and I am Aroace, Cupioromantic, Trans, and Pan! I am also Anarchist! (Also, yes lol, I am white.)!!!! Welcome back to your fucking basement!!!!

Prounouns: All-She/He/They/Xe/Zer/It + Neos but I prefer He/Him.

Rage + Hobie, Adhira, Celeste, Gwen + MJ ♡♡>>>>(Our beloved Nonnies/Very close friends/Siblings)

I am atheist, but I support everyone's religion!!! Now get tf out of my room!!!

I would like to stay rather anonymous on this app!!!! Thankie!!!!

I littlespace frequently cause im a fucking loser and have a blog for it, but I will only share it if asked!

I am literally and actually Ame/KAngel/OMGkawaiiAngel from Needy Streamer Overload/Needy Girl Overdose/srs. That is actually me/gen.

Do NOT view me as anything OTHER than an eldritch amalgamation, as that is all I am comfortable with being viewed as. I would prefer it if you thought of my voice as Nightmare Fredbears voice from FNAF/srs

I am autistic and very sensitive! (Though it does not seem it at times!) So be patient pretty please!!!!! *blows my fucking brains out*

CREAK, BANG, SNAP. YOU'RE ONLINE!

(More important things under the cut!)

there used to be a segment with all of our alters/fictives/factives, but there is so much Ive fucking given up on listing them all, lol, so here is just SOME of them

-

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊMoondrop/Moon/Daycare attendant (FNAF)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊSal Fisher/Sally Face (Sally Face)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊSally Starlet (Welcome Home)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊKiki (Little Twin Stars-Sanrio)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊPink Diamond (Steven Universe)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊWhite Diamond (Steven Universe)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊSpinel (Steven Universe)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊHome(Welcome Home)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊJessie Prescott (Hey Jessie)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊThe Collector (The Owl House)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊJohn Doe (Your Boyfriend John Doe)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊTsukasa Yugi (TBHK)-Uses "Azazel", "Aki", "Autumn", "Sage"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊNene Yashiro (TBHK)-Uses "Orchard"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊEvil (Iepfb)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊJuuzou Suzuya (Tokyo Ghoul)-Uses "Teeth"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊQueen Chrysalis (MLP)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊKokoro Momoiro (Yandere sim)-Uses "Momo"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊHana Daidaiyama (Yandere sim)-Uses "Hana"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊJataro Kemuri (Danganronpa)-Uses "James"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊMonaca Towa (Danganronpa)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊKorekiyo Shinguji (Danganronpa)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊHiyoko Saionji (Danganronpa)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊIbuki Mioda (Danganronpa)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊBluebird (Steven Universe)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊFranny Joyful (Welcome Home)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊYuno Gasai (My Future Diary)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊSpectra Vondergeist (Monster high)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊGooliope Jellington (Monster high)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊAllister (Pokemon)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊMelanie Martinez (Singer)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊOsana Najimi (Komi Cant Communicate)-Uses "Mike"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊPeni Parker (Spiderverse)-Uses "Liam"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊGwen Stacy (Spiderverse)-Uses "Gio"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊPavitr Prabhakar (Spiderverse)-Uses "Pascal"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊHatsune Miku (Vocaloid)- Uses "Vincent"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊFukase (Vocaloid)- Uses "Mono"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊMileena (Mortal Kombat)- Uses "Iris"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊStella (Helluva Boss)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊRuby Gloom (Ruby Gloom)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊJeff The Killer (Creepypasta)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊ𖤐Laughing Jack (Creepypasta)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊCassie (FNAF Security Breach)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊCircus Baby (FNAF sister location)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊMisa Amane (Death Note)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊAlternate Gabriel/Lucifer (Mandela Catalog)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊLucifer (Hazbin Hotel)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊHusk (Hazbin Hotel)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊEmily (Corpse Bride)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊShock (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊAmy (Sonic)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊWarabi (Splatoon)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊ𖤐Harmony (Splatoon)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊShiver (Splatoon)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊBeatrice Reden (I Heart Amy)-Uses "Loveletter"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊ(CHILD) Beatrice Reden (I Heart Amy)-Uses "Lilypad"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊBenjamin Brynn (Before Your Eyes)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊHoppo (Bugbo)-Uses “AK-47”

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊMary Jane Watson (From Hobie Brown's dimension)- Uses "Gravestone"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊAmy (I Love Amy)- Uses "Ajax"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊElise (Adventure Time)- Uses "JJ"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊBetty (Adventure time)-Uses "Cinnamon"

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊL Lawlet (Death Note)

🎠🎡🎪 ☆ -ˊRui (Demon Slayer)

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨

DNI-

o<[]:o)-General DNI (Homophobic, transphobic,racist, facist, etc.)

o<[]:o)-Proship/Comship/🍖🌈/Anti-anti

o<[]:o)-Terfs/Swerfs

o<[]:o)-Anti xenogenders/neogenders

o<[]:o)-"Transmale" lesbians and their supporters (He/Him, genderfluid, and transmasc nonbinary lesbians are a-okay!!!!!!)

o<[]:o)- BNHA, Boyfriends, and sanders sides watchers

o<[]:o)-Anti Anarchist

Very kewl!!!!! Thats it!!!!!!! Now fucking leave I need to tear my hair out!!!!!!!

"Remember, until you hear me again; keep your smile merry, and always know I love you very much...Goodbye!"

And...

Cut! Thats a wrap!

(More may be added in the future!)

#bfyf #before you follow #Here are my tags!: #Whiskeys woes~☆ #Whiskeys wifey penny~♡ #Whiskeys wonderful co-host Enzo!~♡ #Jubilant Jests with Jota~☆ #Doodles doozys~☆ #Whiskeys rants with random~☆ #Kittys concoctions with Whiskey~☆

[threehuskiesinatrenchcoat]

russian "lgbt propaganda" laws get more and more insane. at this point it's either get the fuck outta here or kys

"any depictions of non-traditional relationships that paint them in a positive light and/or talk about their superiority over traditional relationships" you know what would save the image of a "traditional" marriage? if you didn't allow men to beat their spouses into submission while only paying a small fine for it. that would work i think. also they group queer people with fucking p*dos but that's something they've been doing for ages.

"anything that promotes the distorted view of non-traditional relationships being equal to traditional relationships."

"anything that is aimed to create a positive image of undergoing sex change procedures." as in, saying that medical transition can save lives is propaganda, apparently. i wonder if it's going to affect the doctors working with trans people, and how much time do i have before they take away the possibility of transitioning altogether.

what the actual fuck. im not even gonna talk about the language here.

fun history bits btw. the law itself started with "protecting kids" in 2013 (sounds familiar to my american audience?) and used to only affect mentions of lgbtq+ in spaces accessible to minors. but since 2022 it's officially just a nation-wide ban because, shockingly, queer people didn't disappear, so that means "the evil gays" are brainwashing adults too

my heart goes out to my american audience as well, i keep an eye out for what's happening. fight this shit if you can, because this is what it leads to, this is what they ultimately want. i swear the shit they're doing to you rn looks like they're taking it straight outta russian rulebook.

sorry for the rant, but i guess you can see that i'm not taking the news very well. and i'm still a little bit afraid of using my platform to talk about serious topics in fear of being an inconvenience to my audience. but at the same time i kind of really want to vent sometimes. i'll try to keep it as a relatively rare occurence tho.

[happyendingsong]

https://www.tumblr.com/happyendingsong/711257565221322752/susansontag-the-year-was-2023-it-was-the-best

Op is a terf that consistently misgenders transgender people on her blog and handwrings about the dangers of transition. She refers to transmascs as mislead autistic and gnc lesbian girls and transfems as homosexual men. The post must have felt affirming in the moment, but I think it changes context with the information on how the op views transgender people, do you agree?

ah fecks sake :( ty for taking the time to give me a heads up, i appreciate it. looking through her blog now i see what you mean, i shouldve scoped a bit before rbing

i know op of the screenshot in that post is likely referring to being suspicious of terf blogs. but it's so scary and frustrating being in this climate rn where there's a set amount of Women's Rights (purposefully vague) you can care about in a row before setting off red flags for being part of a hate group. it's incredibly depressing that that's the state of things, and that terfs sowing their shit have allowed things to get this way

i completely understand the experience of having hackles raised at a post abt misogyny that's a little too vague or reads a bit off. i get it all the time too, having to read and reread a post a couple times and check op's tags and check their blog, etc. it's exhausting at best and just incredibly vile that terfs have infested the conversation to such a point that plenty of people are wary of engaging with any discussions abt feminism at all. incredibly disheartening all around.

and i know that that jumpiness in combing for red flags, esp for trans people, is a necessary reflex for keeping themselves and others safe. im cis so ofc i can only imagine how much more exhausting and disheartening it is trying to navigate these spaces while trans.

i'm very sad about how a lot of feminist discourse online feels like it's come to a halt or circled back to square one on a lot of basic shit because of this necessary hypervigilant doubling back where people have to be incredibly specific to not have their words twisted and reappropriated by bad faith takes and literal fucking hate groups. which unfortunately is pretty standard for any discussion on marginalisation on tumblr and other sites. but it really has killed a lot of important discussion on feminism and i really lament that, it's been on my mind for ages. it's really hard to make any kind of progress in the conversation when you can't just assume people can be normal about trans people for five fucking seconds. im sorry things are like this

#asks!! #anonymous #it's just such a sorry state of affairs right now it's really really evil #scary and exhausting to be a woman online scary and exhausting to be trans online etc #this got away from me but i have been very sad for a very long time and i just dont know how to progress like #gonna delete that original reblog now ty again for letting me know #theres no hope for women wthursday

[urfavnegronerd]

I just found another Miles smut

They literally “aged them up” because it was like hcs ig and said that MINORS WEREN’T ALLOWED TO INTERACT

Literally barfing

i hmm this is such a convo

bc which miles? comic miles (ew)? itsv/atsv miles? PlayStation miles? i lowk hope it was play station miles bc that one is 17, and while he still is technically a minor, in a lot of places 17 is considered an adult. its still gross but slightly less gross? i'm-- so many thoughts about this.

its not like i don't condone smut, its just hard to figure out where the disconnect is with smut writers. below 18 in the u.s is considered a minor, however in different places its different. for example, in s. korea 19 is adult, not 18.

so likeeee very multifaceted in the sense that laws are different everywhere, and atsv was released in most countries.

bc i was born in the united states w a v rigid view on adulthood, yes this shit is fucking disgusting literally let him be a black boy not a fucking man. that's gross and rooted in racism bc i fine boaf miles' fine but i ain't never once thought about fucking them hello?!? i am also fairly certain that the people writing them are either a) sheltered or b) white. the sheltered thing i can understand because im first gen and my version of the sex talk was when i was really young at an art museum w some paintings of nudity with my aunt (who attended catholic school) who told me to 'hold an aspirin between your thighs', and i also didn't get sex ed in school. so i understand the 'draw' of writing taboo shit and consuming it but. baby. come awwwnnnnn. like yeah, good on you for acknowledging ur very human sexual desires, but what the fuck miles is a minor please stop.

i love love love that this fandom has opinions/ visions for characters but yall needa chill. that 'hobie is in love with miles because he turns pink!' is cute when its just your opinion, however the color doesn't necessarily dictate his emotions (at least we don't know for sure, we don't know much abt hobie), and he also turned from yellow to pink while holding mayday. the pink can symbolize adoration if u will. that's not to say you cant have ur punkflower hcs, js don't PUSH it yall. ur human, okay? a lot of people have sexual desires which is cool but stop pushing ur horny on a minor and animated character. its not cool, does not pass the vibe check.

unrelated but in the same vibe as the previous rant-- gwens character. there's a lot of discourse rn about her possibly being trans WHICH IS COOL but I've seen people attack others for politely disagreeing. i love that a lot of people are feeling comfortable and recognized with possible hints towards peoples identities, but please calm the fuck down. it was never that serious, never that deep babes i promise. because, yes, representation is quite wonderful (speaking as a queer black girl) but it doesn't always spark change, sometimes it causes the latter. and in this instance of yall projected ur opinions to the absolute max, is not inciting change. its inciting anger, disagreement, and toxcity. i'm not gonna lie, i'm on the side of lets js leave things where they are until animators disclose something. but rae their color schemes-- yall do know that pride flags were also created with aesthetics in mind, right? blue, pink and white go pretty together, AND they compliment lighter skin tones (like gwen). purple blue and pink go good together too, and we see a lot of that in miles' palate. BECAUSE IT COMPLIMENTS MELANIN. i love love love how people are incorporating themselves and their identities into this movie, shit i even do this, but can yall CHILL? for the love of god.

moral of the story: stop and think for a sec, okay? i promise your brain has good thoughts, but not everything has to be shared with the world.

#rae rambles #smut situation

[studiousbotanist]

it sure as shit wasn't truscum or transmedicalists who made transitioning more accessible either . if anything they were rigidly aligning themselves with medical gatekeeping and kissing the ass of cis people who thought they were judge, jury, and executioner on whether we were able to transition or not . an ex of mine was heavily into this scene, it fucked with his self worth and how he viewed himself . it fucked with me and made me believe i was faking it and it was too late since i didn't start when i was a child . i mentioned in the reblog but again, it mainly goes with white european standards of Gender Conformity also . i invite anyone who doesn't know about how difficult it was to transition in the united states, to look at anything just a decade ago, before planned parenthood was more accessible for it .

you used to have to prove you were rigidly straight, and performing your gender at the UTMOST fullest . ftm = hypermasculine, short hair, no 'feminine' qualities . painted nails could get you turned away . and mtf = hyperfeminine . long hair, full makeup, feminine clothes, padded bras, it was OVERWHELMINGLY a lot more cruel to trans women . not to mention having to shave every inkling of body hair . there's a reason why truscum spaces are overwhelmingly white (and often overwhelmingly male)

its horseshit LOL ! i personally dont give a HOOT ! about someones body and their own experiences and labels !!!!! the demigirl is not ruining you in the 'eyes of society' it's the people who want the status quo continued . it sure as shit isn't neopronouns or whatever ~weird~ label you think you're above . ALL OF US OR NONE OF US !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this is NOT REBLOGGABLE cause i am just hollering about it on my personal blog so you all do not forget WHAT IM ABOUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#does a bear blog in the woods

[fandomsupremacist]

irl experiences with the weirdest people known to man; true story. TW for SH, mentioning of zoophilia, threats, and non con, proshipping.

tumblr I'm done with sensitive little creeps who assume everything is about them and who don't just shut the fuck up. There's some dude in my school year who is trans masc, whatever nothing wrong with that. But he always assumes people are oppressing him, and it just makes my blood boil. I'm trans as well, genuinely i am gender fluid and am mostly masculine within that aspect of my identity but I'm not open about it, not every trans person has to disclose their personal identity HOWEVER..

this dude doesn't shut up. Like EVER about it. I talked to him about being trans and my experiences with it to try and relate to him a little. But he turned out to be a massive fucking creep in the end. Short story short, he loves Lego Monkey Kid and indulges in looking at nsfw of the monkeys who are considered brothers in the series (by dna and canonically), which is.. honestly weird as fuck. And he reads transformers smut, makes it as well, sent it on to me with the tag 'Forced Prostitution' on ao3. I just.. don't have any words to say to that .

The thing is, this dude always thinks everything is about him. They used to just go into school, talk to me about traumatic experiences, which I absolutely did not ask for, and expected me to be casual about it.

One day this motherfucker had the audacity to show off his self harm scars, just so casually as well in my old Higher Level math class. He showed them off like they were bracelets on his fucking wrist. He pressurised me into sitting beside him as well, which didn't help the current situation considering my reputation at the time which was poor due to me showing classic indicators of being adhd and zoning out in class.

That's kind of why a lot of people viewed me as weird, and socialising around him didn't help. I'm quiet most of the time in class, I keep to myself and fidget a lot. Sometimes I make conversation by talking to the teachers, or im really loud when talking to my friends, not deliberately anyway, others I literally just take out a book and read after finishing the work. People find that weird, and they find it weirder when i put on my headphones in class as well. But it hardly affects them, so there isn't really any issue realistically.

When it comes to him though, when I hung around this dude more the more I started to realize, okay something is weird. He self diagnoses too much, threatens people who get irritated at him, doesn't research but just cherrypicks symptoms in which he thinks he relates to diagnose himself with the next mental illness.

He genuinely thinks he has a lot. A lot. Schizophrenia, PTSD, two eating disorders, insomnia (diagnosed with adhd and autism) dyscalculia or however you say it, NPD and probably more.

The reason why I think it's necessary to tell you this is because he didn't do research, well much research at all. He straight up just says he has these things and doesn't pass any heat on it. One time he said he had dyspraxia and said it was relevant to numbers and I said no, it isn't. It's a coordination disorder, he responded with, no, it's mathematics. I struggle with seeing mathematical figures coherently. I said dyspraxia is a coordination disorder. I would know, I have it. He just ignored me.

It would be fine if this didn't happen again. But it did, I can assure you.

He thinks it's possible to have two sets of ADHD at once. For example, ADHD and ADD. Which I corrected him again, considering I have researched extensively into these things to get a diagnosis for them, is not fucking possible. Next time he goes in with a crutch, and says he's ambulatory.

Ambulatory.

I cannot make this shit up.

It just shows how little research he does into these things. He brings up his disorders as if people asked him to in conversation and doesn't shut up about them. He's open about being trans as well, which is NOT an issue at all but he makes it seems like its one. Like he wants people to pick on him and fend himself off.

He even used my preferred pronouns at some point in public which was something I clarified in which he shouldn't have done, continued on as well at times.

My friend had some pretty weird experiences with him as well. Friends, in all honesty.

One friend had an experience with him in business where he asked which side would be sharper to cut himself with, the left or the right which was most definetely true considering everyone had experiences about him being open about self harming.

Another experience that another friend had with him was how gross he was. He ate his skin in public and picked at it in class a lot and barely showered, which made it difficult for anyone to hang out with him. And he didn't smell great either .

Another experience I had with him, was a similar pattern of him just liking animals. Fictional animals, but still it was fucking weird.

First it was lego monkey kid fics, he linked them to me, all smut, because I was attempting to know about his interests and he discussed lego monkey kid to me and how it's so interesting, things like that. We had times where we would just go outside and talk about it because why not? He was making an attempt at being my friend at the time so I decided why not do the same.

He knew a lot about it. Really, just a shit ton of information about it. Which was surprising how much, but then he gradually started to go in tangents about how he viewed monkey King as hot or something, and I wasn't even listening at that point. I remember just ignoring him and rolling my eyes in disgust.

Gradually I talked about how I viewed it. I called it out. Said it was weird, and he thought probably that I was joking or something. Which i wasn't.

Then he sent me a wattpad pic on TMNT (teenage mutan ninja turtles) which had a trans reader x Mike or some shit like that. And it was all smut. He reminded me that it was.

It was so weird. I remember saying to him that it was weird, and he responded angrily

,'Look at all the other fics I've sent you and tell me that again', I could have easily just done that because they were all animals. And he was acting like me getting weirded out by the fact that they were animals and was weird on its own.

It got annoying. I started blocking him on all platforms, tiktok and then pinterest and he would bring it up in real life as if it deserved clarification.

There was also a time when he mocked one of someone whom I knew and their learning disability. He made fun of them and called them stupid when they had difficulty processing something and emphasised on it as well as though he hadn't just received clarification on it.

He threatened people as well. He'd bring up stories when we had P.E class on how he treated kids with learning disabilities and how he threatened kids in school with a knife. I just chuckled nervously because honestly how the fuck was I supposed to respond?

I blocked him again. His parents check his socials but clearly haven't checked his ao3. If they had, I would genuinely feel bad for them. They're meant to be pretty strict according to him but if I had a kid like that, honest to fucking God I would be too. He ended up threatening my brother at some point as well.

I remember just going into the school cafeteria and him just fighting with my brother over Lennie from Of Mice And Men and my brother was on about killing Lennie with a cocaine bear which I honestly found pretty funny. Lennie obviously demonstrated key features of being autistic which of course the creep ended up getting pissed about.

Honestly I viewed lennie from of mice and men to be fine, whatever. I'm autistic myself (not self diagnosed) so I didn't really care much about my brothers comment regarding him. We were studying of mice and men in our English class before which is how the conversation evolved. In case you don't know, the weird dude and my brother are both in my English class.

He ended up threatening to hit my brother with a crutch as he accused him of being ableist. Some shit like that. In all honesty, my brother was not ableist. He just says shit like that when it comes to characters who do things wrong by accident. In which case, lennie evidently did.

The dude at this point was not having it. He said he went to jail like 3 times and that he was going to hit my brother if he didn't shut up, and added that he was the only disabled person in our English class which nearly made me combust.

He is not the only disabled person in the English class.

Anyway I blocked him again. Currently it's the Christmas holidays so much isn't going on, but if he ever does talk to me next time irl, I will genuinely tell him to fuck off.

And I reported him to the principal for threatening my brother like that because he is not allowed to do that. Especially when it comes to my family members.

I will probably update this in the future as he will be asking me why I blocked him lmaoooo

Thank u if u read this I genuinely had to get this shit off my chest bc the amount of stress I get from this dude is insane.

#true story #weird kid #tw zoophile mention #anti zoophile #self diagnosis #tumblr fyp #creep #anti proship #anti proshitter #anti non con

[ghost-of-a-slave]

hi , rq anon here from earlier !! ^_^

I'm kinda just gonna go on a ramble here about things you said in your response that were kinda like ... wow okay !! apologies for any improper grammer or typos too !! I'm a fast typer lmao

first , the fakeclaiming hello .... ???

"why is your support of minorities so conditioned" because a) I don't believe that the majority of you chucklefucks are actual minorities so this doesn't apply " wow okay !! that's certainly a way of thinking !! if your belief on someone's race , disability , gender , or trauma or literally anything only applys in certain situations , you are ALSO a bigot . your support for any minority shouldn't be conditioned the moment you disagree with them , or the moment they do something you don't like . you don't see me saying " ur not native american or a system or a trafficking victim bc ur an anti rq and i hate anti rqs !!! " like hello ???

" are you actually POC or are you "transrace" ? " if we're going in your definition , I'm " actually poc . " just like you , I'm native american ( just like you , yippie :3 ) , my dads entire side of the family is native . my grandma taught me how to make dreamcatchers and quillwork and beadwork and she told me many stories growing up !! my native features are pretty obvious too ( despite my skin ... super pale LMAO ) but so , yk , im bodily poc and have been since the day i was born .

" I have Because let's be clear so many radqueers are super fucking white and are larping as POC because they want brownie points or want to be allowed to say slurs. " idk what radqueers you're talking about but poc rqs make up a large handful of our community , at least from what ive been able to see and I've been active in the rq community for a long time . then with the larping as poc , again , the unnecessary and extremely rude fakeclaiming ?? claiming someone is faking their race ( or really faking ANYTHING ) without proof is extremely bad . for someone who claims to support minorities so bad , your view on ones that aren't like you sure is interesting !!

" If your fucking people were not genocided you will NEVER understand what it's like to be Native American and you doing shit like redface only makes things worse. " but i do understand and have understood since i was a little girl . assuming im lying about my race when i literally told you im bodily poc is so fucking weird and literally feeds into bigot behaviors !!

" are you actually traumatized or are you "trans trauma" and had a perfect life and never got hurt? " i was trafficked , raped , beaten and abused my whole life . my genitalia is deformed from how much sexual abuse I went through , I've been in therapy for years now . I'm willing to go into so much detail if you actually wanna know , but then again , you probably won't believe me bc your belief on victims stories is limited 🤷 I actively am in a toxic situation , infact , and just escaped an extremely toxic relationship with my ex , but sure , because I'm radqueer , suddenly I'm lying and just wanna pretend to be ruined for the rest of my life because it's cool .

" yet your community encourages people to not only pretend to experience what I did (trafficking) but also encourages purposefully endangering yourself and trying to GET PEOPLE ABUSED. " for starters , once again , have never seen anyone pretend to be trafficked in the rq community , but I might just be looking at the wrong side ! and then with trying to get people abused and stuff , the only thing I can think of to what you would be referring to is consensual relationships with cnc where one is transharmful and one is harmed . the thing is , notice how I said consensual ?? those sort of relationships are wanted and done safely , at least from what I've heard from people in those those sort of relationships .

" On the flip side are you someone who actually experienced something as extreme as I did or the same situation or are you "trans severity" " already stated this but i experienced just as much as you did ( well , in relations to trafficking at least , I'm not sure what your trauma is beyond that so maybe I have it worse or less worse than you , who knows )

" you have refused to do any of the work that is necessary to get over your own insecurities and accept that you can come away with the same kind of horrific fucked up mental state as people who go through a variety of things and by speaking over real survivors of specific areas not only are you doing self-harm (emotional) but you are ruining the chances of real survivors getting help and aid. " in therapy and am on meds for starters , so I'm not denying any work there . as for speaking over real survivors , nobody is doing that . at least not transramcoa people ( from what I've seen ) , most of them are aware of at least the basics of what it is we've gone through and they support us , maybe you've had a bad run but all my transramcoa friends love me and are always willing to listen to my stories about the things I went through . nobody is talking over you , nobody is saying you didn't go through the things you went through . as for ruining chances of real survivors getting help , ... how ??? genuinely how ?? if you're talking about transid people using things like mobility aids and stuff , then I don't necessarily understand how it's harmful . because one , a lot of transabled people don't really use mobility aids due to lack of money , unstable environments and stuff like that , but even those who do help normalize people using things like canes and stuff out in public , and if more people use mobility aids then a lot more companies will make them and stuff ( obviously , it'll kinda suck because inflation is wack )

" Are you actually disabled or are you "transabled" ? " once again , as already stated , I am actually disabled . I am diagnosed with MDD , GAD & ADHD and have been since I was a pre-teen , then I fit into all diagnostic criteria for bpd and autism and have suspected DID .

" The majority of radqueers however are not actually disabled or at least have a series of disabilities they pretend to have to make fun of people with those disabilities or because they think it's funny/cool. " no ?? again , I really & truly do not understand where you're finding these radqueers because all radqueers I've met have some sort of disability , either mentally or physically . and even then , I've never met a transabled person who does it to mock disabled people OR because they think the disabilities are cool . most transabled people I've met are transabled due to atypical dysphoria , presenting differently in headspace , source / kin memories , and most times they're transseverity ( aka , already disabled !! )

" and sure if I was you I'd be miserable because I was a bigot and bigots are miserable. But you could just no longer be like that if you stopped being a bad person maybe. " no , you'd be miserable because of all the things I deal with daily . you'd be miserable because I'm gonna have to repeat ninth grade most likely . you'd be miserable because nobody ever understands what I've gone through . you'd be miserable because I've been the " weird kid who doesn't understand social cues and is too loud " my entire life . you'd be miserable because I live with a mother who's like a ticking time bomb sometimes . I am not a bad person either , infact , I get told often I am a good person who's funny , kind , compassionate and very empathetic by my friends and family ( and yes , this includes the ones who know about my radqueer identity . yes , this includes even my ANTI friends who know I'm radqueer . ) , I am a much better person than I was when I was younger , my improvement in my behavior is something I'm extremely proud of actually !!

tl ; dr ;; your support and belief for minorities shouldn't be limited the moment you disagree with them . just because someone is different than you doesn't mean they're lying .

Okay, this may be the last one from you that I'm addressing not because I wish to drop the topic but because I now know I'm talking to a minor on an account I sometimes post sexually explicit posts on and I don't want to anytime soon unnecessarily expose you or other children to that as well as my own personal feelings about how I approach topics with those substantially younger than myself. I want to start off by and be clear that this is not to say children are lesser or dumb but rather that I know from my own experiences that it's a lot harder to be at a better place mentally the younger you are and the closer to trauma you are. The way I reacted and the way I have spoken to you is incredibly unnecessary and I apologize for any distress I may have caused. I do not wish to cause harm to children whatsoever. I also know that when it comes to groups I personally see as a genuine danger to my safety I will be incredibly aggressive and harsh. This harshness is meant primarily for adult radqueers who have the ability to know better, fully understand right from wrong, and specifically the ones who do everything in their power to berate genuine minorities. I am so genuinely sorry that you've been sucked into that hell and you are not to blame nor deserving of any of this. I've been there, I'm pretty sure I got trafficked in highschool still as well. I know how horrific it is. And I'm also very sorry that I did not think about properly wording my previous post as talking in generalizations without clarification obviously would end with me fakeclaiming you which was wrong of me on many levels. The anger I hold to the people being genuinely bigotted and cruel should not be placed on people who genuinely seem to not hold those fascistic and horrific ideas.

I don't believe it's bigoted for me to often doubt the validity of someone's claims if they're a part of a social movement built on the basis of lies, manipulation, and other falseities. Transids/TransX is based on lying to other people and taking up space in communities of minorities while knowing you are not that minority. For example a fully white person claiming to be "trans native" going to events for natives or even lying for scholarships and similar yet not even knowing the name of whatever tribe they're claiming to be a part of, anything about the history, or even trying to genuinely care about the people within that demographic. That person is a colonizer, I would hope you agree that colonization is bad. Which leads me to be confused as to why you would support a colonialist ideology such as transids/TransX. It doesn't matter if SOME people are not doing redface/blackface/similar, the overall concept is built specifically to defend those things. The most prominent example of transX identities is Oli London who was an obsessive stalker of a BTS member. He later claimed to "detransition" and is now an alt-righter spokes person online advocating for the brutality and legal oppression against trans people because of comparing real transgender people to his creepy racist bullshit he purposefully did to himself. This is what TransID is, and has always been. It is white people making a mockery of POC, and ableds mocking disableds by doing stereotypical impressions of mentally and physically disabled people to claim they're basically the same. Saying you are "transOCD" is faking OCD and is inherently making fun of people with OCD as well because it is making a mockery of what the actual disorder is. And faking a disorder for attention is something you should not be encouraging as it's a sign of differing mental illnesses that when constantly played off as just a special little identity forces you to never look into getting care or aid. (And no TransID is nothing like being transgender. Gender is an immutable self concept, that self concept fits into societal ideas and is called gender. The self concept is not by any means attached to one's body it is core to the self. All things that fall under transIDs are actually just about your body and things that are not always inherent to the self. If one had a differing body or brain they would not have X experience. I'd also go as far as to say that I believe personality disorders are parts of the self- but if you don't have one that means your self is not supposed to have it and you are going against the nature of the self by pretending to have it and is still obviously vastly different from gender.)

The reason I doubt the claims of people who are radqueers on their own traits and identity is not out of hate for them- I do not doubt radqs because I dislike them- I doubt them because the community is centered on lying. It is an ideology that is rotted at the very core. There is no radqueer without lying about your identity. You cannot be a radqueer and be anti-racist because being anti-racist requires going against trace people. Because trace people only exist due to racism. POC people who feel they have to be white are struggling with internalized racism- telling them they're right and would be better as a fully white person is you being racist. White people larping as POC is obviously racist because they are physically not POC and will NEVER experience what POC do.

I am sorry that you don't see what this community you are in is built upon. I am sorry people are lying to you and pretending to care about your trauma. I really and truly do hope you can get away from these ghoulish people who are using you as a token minority and a shield. You do not deserve to have people telling you they want your trauma or calling you lucky for experiencing such horrific things.

Radqueers do encourage abuse. I was once sent a massive thing screaming at me by another radqueer for daring to get free of trafficking and told I only existed to be raped and that's all I deserved and I was a bigot for taking away from biastiophiles because the radq community is filled with abusers who are pro-contact for horrific things. I am referring to the people in the community who go and do shit like that. The people who have been outed for sexually abusing children, animals, and corpses. The people who have tried to push people with disordered masochism such as myself into getting severely injured to the point of hospitalizations. I am talking about the people who encourage and advocate for the legalization of child abuse. I am so fucking glad you haven't run into those people, I am very fucking genuine when I say that I am terrified for people your age who are in that community. I am terrified that radqueers will get more people abused and killed. I don't want more people to die or be abused that is why I'm anti radqueer.

People ruining chances for survivors getting help is a mixed bag as well. As a person in treatment for my trauma it's so fucking hard to get anyone who believes you, I lucked out on a therapist who'd worked with trafficking survivors before but due to the large proliferation of misinformation people genuinely do not know what happens in trafficking. I have been brutalized and attacked for being a survivor on the basis it sounded too far fetched. I have seen people get pushed away by law enforcement because too many liars have made false reports or similar. The massive situation with the satanic panic for example got therapists and survivors alike killed. This is just a continuation of that brutality. Anyone who is transRAMCOA is someone lying about being a survivor and causing severe harm and damage to real survivors. I'm sorry the people around you don't see you as someone who matters and sees your trauma as a joke. You don't deserve that. Nobody around you should be telling you how jealous they are to be brutalized like you are/were. They're not good friends and they're using you.

Disabilities are also not fun. Nobody who is "transabled" by radqueer terms actually cares about the people with the real disability because if they did they wouldn't be faking it. They wouldn't be making fun of the symptoms.

You seem to be struggling a lot with self hatred. And I can only help you pull through. Seeing such young people get sucked into abusive and cruel extremist groups is incredibly sad and I know nothing I say will ever save anyone but fuck me if I didn't want to at least try.

#anti radqueer #radqueers fuck off #radqueer dni #radqueer tw #ableism tw #racism tw #cult tw #trafficking tw #abuse tw #SA tw

[luffythinker]

said it was ok for me to come back and talk about Shigaraki/Dabi so now im gonna do that. Like, im not going into canon events all that much and my version of LOV is like face view these are bad guys but they are people and everything isn't happening back to back so take it as a silly scenario i guess? possibly an AU?

What do you think about trans Shigaraki coming out to Dabi while drunk? like Dabi just accepts it and when Shigs done with his hangover the next day he remembers he came out to him like "oh shit i really did that" and now he's insecure because he thinks Dabi's gonna view him differently, not that his view matters but it does.

This needs context. Lets say after kamino that's when the gang really started to be friends they all started treating eachother with a little more respect but your all still my bitches - everyone in the league probably 2023 lol

Dabi and Shigs have been getting super close, like it's not boss and henchmen it's we are almost equals but you know im in charge winky face. After a heist they always have pizza partys or whatever they can steal for dinner cause we don't have kurogiri :( Shigs and dabs always sit close enough for their shoulders or knee to touch and Dabi notices Shigs getting a little too up in the air. Dabi is not gonna be that ass so he takes Shigs outside to get some air and water away from everyone "can't see out leader looking like a he got drugged at the bar" and when i say he picks him up he throws him over his shoulder, nobody says anything cause he's just taking care of Shigs they just get a comedic voice from Twice like "STRIKE, your out!" followed by laughter Dabi gets him to get some water going through his body but he's high as a astronaut and sweating, Dabi makes sure his gloves are on and is just genuinely taking care of him complaining about how he rather not be but he really doesn't mind he's just putting on a show for noone, Shigs is mumbling and crying fake/real? tears about how being "Tomura" is hard work and at first Dabi thinks he's just talking nonsense until he starts complaining about his binder and how he fucking can't breath in it 9 times out of 10 of the time and Dabi's like "wait, what?" and he just continues to go on about how his shitty dad would always dress him up in a dress want him to be a propper young lady while sticking his pinky out and everything. He was compared to his sister all the time and he hated it Dabi is being flooded with information he can't have time to processes and he ask Dabi "If i told you i was trans would you hate me?" Like any of this is supposed to mean something to Dabi and Dabi tells him he needs to go to bed. After that night Dabi is internally freaking out "What just happen? why???" and he can't sleep that night after the fact Shigs is avoiding Dabi which is strange for everyone to watch and they think their in a huge fight. Himiko keeps asking Dabi what he did and Dabi tells her to butt out.

if you care about this i'll come back for a part 2

i honestly hold bnha canon events very in the back of my mind, at this point i barely remember the order of things, so yeah don't worry about staying truthful to a timeline or anything cause i assure you i most likely don't remember muchdjjdflkfk

and i absolutely love trans shigaraki, even in canon he gives me big non binary vibes so!!!!

oh my god i love how you painted this picture, his childhood was super hard with his father and transphobia. He probably felt like himself for the first time after he left the family and could explore his gender by himself. He knew since early age he wasn't a girl, so he would fully invest himself into looking like how he feels. I think AFO giving him a new name also marks his transitioning, he has always had a smaller chest so the binder helps with keeping it flat, but it is shigaraki so obviously he doesn't have the greatest relationship with himself, so he wears it super tight to the point it hurts him (i think its some kind of internal punishment). He never really told anyone about it because it's not anyone's business, but he likes dabi so it just feels so weird to not tell him that, not that he really wanted to because he doesn't want things to change but he also lowkey wants to be accepted fully as he is, while also too scared of being rejected again.

telling dabi about it while he's drunk is so on brand because he would never master up the courage to do it sober, i think the day after he would act like nothing happened and hope dabi wouldn't bring it up, but I'm curious to see how dabi would confront him about this from your pov!!!

(this might be weird but i really like shigaraki, like i think he's such a good villain)

#shigadabi #shigaraki tomura #dabi #mha #bnha #rei replies

[imjustcoping]

21/10/22

i get the feeling my best friend doesn't believe in non binary.  A while ago she said that she didn't believe it was a a thing.  she literally called it a phase because she didn't know any adult that were non binary who used they/them in their pronouns.  Which i find silly because she is a pansexual girl who should understand the stigma that gay people faced and still face.  After years of being told that being gay isn't real and that its just a phase and she says that.  and she doesn't really view trans people as people- she says its because her dad is a doctor and he finds it really difficult to diagnose trans patients when he doenst know what they are.  Its so fucking stupid he could legit just ask if they were afab or amab but it should already be in their medical history.  i fucking hate it.  I also sent before and after picture of me wearing a binder and i was so happy.  In the GC T congratulated me and gave me a shit ton of affirmations and it made me feel so genuinely good.  but S just ignored it.  I know we are drifting apart and i know its my fault because this always happens.  after 5 years they go, they just disappear into the mist, a new school, new friends, or im too much

And last night i was doing an assignment on 2 separate books.  Aftter i finished the first one i went on tiktok and of course a bunch of relatable autism stuff starts coming up and a vid about the raads-r test comes up.  so i do teh test and  get high scores and i do a bunch more of those tests and keep getting high scores in them.. In my 3am haze i sent the quiz to my family gc because im almost positive that my dad has autism.  But he had a partially open discussion about it with me the next morning, to  be continued for when i wasnt late for school.  when i finally gathered up the courage to tell my bsf from before that day that i scored high in these autism tests and i was kind of excited to maybe understand why im like this, because ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  ad autism can often be misdiagnosed for those two mental illnesses if you have been kind of traumatized as an autistic person. She told me that it probably isnt it.  She old me that sh doesn't trust those autism tests and that i shouldnt just self diagnose and that the depression and anxiety is whats making me think that.  It felt liek shit.  becsue tehre is a lot of evidence towards me being autistic, alongside the teste there s also a bunch of symptoms and there is a link between autism and asexuality(im asexual) where in a population of people there is about 1% asexuals but in the autistic populations they were far more likely to be asexual or feel disgusted toward sexual penetration.  

I know that i cant just self diagnose but im trying to figure out whats wrong with me and its not like im about to go around telling everyone im autistic becasue ive self diagnosed my depression and anxiety for years and have only told like three people, and even now that ive been diagnosed i haven't told anyone else.  Im not doing this because its trendy, the trend has just made me aware of how many autistic traits i carry around with me.  i was just finally happy that maybe im getting somewhere with figuring out my mental health.

I think im gonna tell my other friend from that group chat.  she is so supportive and has suspicions that she is autisic too. So im going to send her a message, with a forewarning.  I just want to talk to someone who is actually going to listen about what i have to say before throwing her opinion in.  And the pure confusion i have relation to my inability to express and know what emotions im feeling, she knows i have trouble with expressing my emotions and talking about how i feel but she doesnt seem to realise the impact on me

The dumb part about my friend telling me not to self diagnose is that she has been telling EVERYONE that she has ADHD for 2 years, she even told us in a group convo when she was accusing someone else of being a pick me for pretending to have adhd, someone pointed oout to my frined that she kind of mentioned having adhd a lot aswell and my friend tells everyone that her therapist diagnosed her.  she lied to us and Up until now she didnt say she didnt have adhd until shes trying to prove me wrong.  She basically said that she cant say she has adhd just because she gets easily distracted.  

I had fully supported her, when she claimed she had adhd, i believed her and did my won research, sending her videos which are supposed to help learning in a nuerotypical classroom easier.  and all she does is tell me that those tests arent reliable.  AT LEAST I ACTUALLY TOOK SOME TESTS INSTEAD OF PROPERLY SELF DIAGNOSING FOR YEARS AND BRAGGING ABOUT ADHD AND USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO INTERRUPT AND IGNORE PEOPLE.AND T

#am i autistic? #self diagnosed autism #non binary

[dreadisdelight]

PLEASE DONT READ IT YOURE SENSITIVE TO LGBTQIA+ TOPICS!!!!!!!!:

sometimes i just sit there and wonder what i identify as.

i grew up in an area where i didn't have much representation of anything, "gay" was an insult and colours were dedicated to specific chromosomes. if you grazed football as a girl, you were seen as a tomboy alongside if you even looked at claires you were just odd. i think some messed up part of me still believes that, despite every fibre in my being disagreeing with it. there wasn't much representation of being homosexual in a form or another, mainly just jacqueline wilson books i peered into with such curiosity and utmost wonder.

it sort of struck me that i was different when i was much younger too. hell, sleepovers with girls scared me since they smelled so "sweet" or they were much prettier than me. we all watched films with the odd kissing scene and wanted to peer into the mirror, maybe attempt at looking into it without shame. it didn't stick, yet it didn't wipe off. i kissed a girl on her cheek in my bedroom when i was about nine, fags the most ive ever done, and i don't count it fully either. i kissed a girl on her hand too but still, that doesn't count in my books. nobody ever had the "it's okay to be gay" talk with me but they never had the "being gay is a sin" either. it just sat uncomfortably in the room. all the pins and homemade flags were just pretty colours opposed to something with significance in this world. ive tossed the majority of the relics besides a pin i bought when i had a sense of freedom for the first time but that's about it at most. we still haven't talked about it, and we don't intend on it either.

i remember my mom watching a tv programme with me, her eyes flickering towards me whilst saying "i don't get why people come out. i get where she was coming from, as if it was natural, but she was also the figure who never brought up these sort of conversations. the woman who made me feel a sense of crushing burden when i felt a sense of anger. i just shrugged it off, and never gave my views on the matter. i think if i had the confidence, i would have said something along the lines of "it's because we live in a society where showing who you really are needs courage".

i think i did tell her i was pansexual when i was younger too, this was during a mist of things where id say random bullshit to them as a joke, hoping they'd want to linger nearby. i haven't said a word yet.

gender was another thing that puzzled me, which still does. i never really thought much about it, i just thought you were female, male, or non-binary. that's it. no more options, just three buttons and you could click one. i used to lie awake, my mind thinking about issues for me to go 'holy shit am i trans??' which obviously still happens; why would i be writing this out otherwise? i dipped into being demigirl to nonbinary to immediately agender and i sort of sat there, sticking a label on it like they have to me with other diagnoses. i go from wanting big tits and being the epitome of feminine beauty to wanting to have top surgery and going by a new name. i know gender is a spectrum, but some part of me knows everyone around me wouldn't accept me, thinking im more mentally ill than i am.

i don't know why i decided to type this out either. maybe to give myself clarity instead of chastising myself for what's happened in my world.

ive only ever dated afabs. one cis. one somewhere between demigirl and nonbinary and the other transmasc. i know i hurt them one way or another, and so did they. i speak to one of them a few times now and again but for the other two, i apologised to one of recent and it's stuck to my mind. the other i fucked up so bad it hurts to look into a mirror. i think amabs scare me and i don't know why. i attach myself to older guys in films and loosely to other people, remarrying shane in stardew over and over again. one minute i have a preference and then it drastically changes.

my friend once said that people who are lgbtqia+ must have some evolutionary default in them, which i believe heavily. i have autism and probably some other stuff undiagnosed (my autism is clinically diagnosed yall) so that checks out. i saw a survey a while back that most people who are lgbtqia+ are diagnosed professionally or self with something along the lines of adhd, autism, and other mental disorders. but that's all we are. disordered motions, grasping onto conclusion.

maybe one day i will find somebody and it will make perfect sense. maybe i won't find anybody. for now, i know that i can only try, and when i try i collapse in tears wondering why nobody likes me.

#lgbtqia #lgbtq community #questioning #vent post #rambles #discovery #BuzzFeed gay quiz #AM I GAY OR SOMETHING?? #AM I TRANS OR SOMETHING?????? #I SHOULD PROAOBLY STOP OVERTJING RAHHHHHK

[catboygraystripe]

realising ill never get to be as trans as i want because of how my mum reacted to my brothers coming out and the whole rest of the family who dont know but probably wouldnt take it well like bro i think i need to go on T so badly but idek the options for doctors in my area because of how our fucking apparently gp reacted to my brother being trans. like sorry parents for not telling you everything about me (ive never told them im bi its been 7 years, whole other can a worms) but i haaaate starting shit i hate conflict so bad i dont need them debating and discussing my identity i dont want another round of mum grieving the loss of her daughter or whatever. like can i just get hairier in peace. like i havent been a big gender dysphoria haver since i was like 15 but my tolerance for being viewed as a woman by every stranger is wearing extremely thin like i dont care if they she/her me but i need people to look at me and have that moment of questioning. but my family would eventually find out and be upset that i didnt tell them and itd be a whole problem. and then theres the whole issue ive been having with not feeling trans enough and fuck idek. i think i just need to get on T and have a hysterectomy at some point in my life and ill be fine

yeah to think that this all started up again because i got a liiiiiittle too invested in tf2 LOL. those men did something to my gender.

[noxrynne]

uhhhhh this site sucks i had to edit this four times to get the thing to actually do thee cut goddamn its more cuz its a block'a text no one should be forced to scroll THAT long over sheesh

Just putting it under a read more as people really hate the animation/show and the weird thing is it's one of the few times I think I've related to a character present in it (who is usually the topic of everyone's derision) in such a way where it's like looking in a mirror when I was... god, fucking 12 - 22~, and kind of it clicking in my head what was wrong with me. Not like, full picture, but. I don't know, I never really related to a character like this before and it's weird. Not necessarily in a bad way, either. Like, it makes me uncomfortable. Sure, but it's kind of... a healthy discomfort, for me at least. To see it all laid out in this way where it... and I feel pathetically stupid for this, clicked in my head why someone from my trans therapy group yelled at me after they realized how I was treating myself. I went through a lot of similar dark places. I behaved in similar ways. I got yelled at, like I deserved, but never understood why someone cared. I've been working on self improvement in this area for a while, and it's absolutely the hardest one. And a lot of it did, maybe stupidly? Begin with this character and some of the songs that followed, and now I'm really thinking back on it since my boyfriend and I watched the newly released show and. There's a scene that hit me really hard. I don't think it didn't belong there. It nailed in the idiot part of my brain the "see? other people have problems like that. Know people like that. Are treated that way, too. It's not that there's something wrong with you, intrinsically. Just a dash of rotten luck and collapsing in on yourself in the aftermath." It took it seriously, in a context that meshed with my brain to where I felt like "yeah, that's. That's at least. How I felt. Pretty much. When I was treated like that. Brushed it off and turned it into jokes, too." I don't wanna get into all the nitty gritty details, because they aren't pretty and I still have to contend with it. But it felt kinda... mmm, I don't know, like when I saw so many people shitting on it - saying it doesn't belong, in fact, this should never be portrayed, it's immoral to portray this and so on. I have such a warped view of... the topic, I guess? But I mean, it did help me contextualize a few things better that I've been struggling to. And I found a lot of comfort in that uncomfortable scene because of that. And... like, I know I have a... how do I phrase it, like a... not... normal view? Since I... like, was kinda... I mean. Like. I. I don't know. I mean I know. I just. You know. But I don't know, like. I feel nervous talking about it, because of the media property it's related to and how strongly people feel about it. And, I mean, I know the healthy answer is to just be "fuck it, you're allowed" but I guess I just think back to all the times things I liked/cared about were shit on and feel like "Should... I feel... guilty? Because I kinda do. And I don't think I should. But maybe I should? Is there something to it or... something that I don't get?" and yeah this is about Angel Dust in Hazbin Hotel. yeah this is the character story that got me to (even with the pilot/songs) try to actually tackle this shit 'cuz I still can't get myself to physically talk about these things irl. and. idk. its. mm. its hard to really feel like im. i just. i dont talk about it much at all 'cuz i dont wanna annoy people if they hate the show 'n stuff 'cuz i know ppl feel strongly and. yeah. so i over explained it because a part of me wanted to express a kinda... happiness that a story got me to think better about myself. and i dont. understand why there's so many like. snap judgments or vitriol, i guess.

#i thought i wrote above the readmore oops #anyway its a long block of text about a character and a show a lotta ppl really hate #u know Hzbn Htl and im writing it that way cuz #like i aint tryin to have this turn up in search results if i can help it u kno #but i mean i wrote it KNOWING that can happen so like #yeah #idk