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weirdmageddon · 6 months

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long mediation on jade and dave’s relationship - part 2

part 1 is here

this part is essentially about dave and jade’s personalities, their basic dynamic, and how it works. and addressing some things ive seen said about dave in moments that people remove from context because they dont weigh these contexts and prior ones. if you want a post that goes into dave’s attitude towards jade (conclusion: he cares about her a lot) here it is

part 2: switcheroo + misconceptions about dave's role in dave and jade's relationship

something interesting i realized while writing this is the thing about grimbark jade is that she is no nonsense when her normal self is all about nonsense and entertaining silly things because she can see the merit in them. in fact she is always having a chuckle caused by dave's sense of humor and im sure dave got used to interacting with jade like that so wtf with grimbark jade

EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her! EB: but that jackass won't shut up and stop rapping and stuff. GG: hahaha GG: he is so silly! (p.293)

TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich GG: eww dave no TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build GG: no this is so lame GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons! TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you GG: heheheh GG: why dont we play in the snow later (p.3024)

GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is! GG: its so cute GG: so the baby frogs show up on this pad here? GA: Yes GG: i cant wait to try it GA: What Are You Laughing At There GG: oh GG: lol GG: dave just has a lot of funny stuff to say about all this GA: What Is He Saying GG: oh you know, a bunch of silly stuff GG: theres too much to copy/paste! GA: Hmm GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you -- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "daveisafunnyguy.txt" -- GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That GG: hahaha (p.3312)

JADE: *snicker* JOHN: what? JADE: nothing JOHN: is someone messaging you through the game? JADE: hehe JOHN: who is it? JADE: pffff! JOHN: dammit, jade... JADE: its davesprite, hes playing too JOHN: oh. JOHN: don't tell him any of our strategies. he is the enemy! JADE: we have strategies? JOHN: um... JOHN: ok, first, tell him we have strategies. then, don't tell him them. JADE: hahahahahahaha JOHN: oh god. JOHN: what is it now? JADE: did you know... JADE: davesprite is a funny guy? JOHN: meh, he's alright i guess. JOHN: i give most of his jokes a passing grade. sometimes as high as a solid b+! JADE: i just told him you said that JADE: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche" JOHN: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now! (p.4732)

in a way i feel like their roles parallel dave and jade in the earlier acts from homestuck, but inverted (and twisted/not as nice cause grimbark jade is under nefarious influences)

dave approaches the world from a highly pragmatic position. his ego (in the purely psychoanalytical sense) that he holds himself to, shows to the world, and what he tends to reason through is one that’s about relaxed competence. he’s critical of unreasonable actions and takes it upon himself to guide others into being more efficient in practical, realistic ways. he sees that jade struggles in these initially but she readily accepts his help, which is more than glad to provide.

this doesn’t say anything bad about jade harley. this doesn’t make her stupid, or in need the saving from a knight in shining armor nor does it make dave condescending towards her. it’s information that he is able to provide and that she appreciates and trusts his assistance with while she sees through the things that she prioritizes like helping others with matters of hidden opportunities / the big picture and interpersonal needs which are completely out of dave’s league, something he highly respects but doesnt feel its his greatest asset towards other people like jade does. jade is very into science and gadgetry, but remember that she relies heavily on her sharp intuition rather than straight up pragmatism like dave would. jade really is exceptional and multitalented but she doesn’t know how she does the things she does half the time!

(p.790)

even though dave acknowledges this it doesn’t really bother him

TG: hey TG: oh TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage (p.829)

GG: i want to tell him happy birthday and ask him about his birthday package! TG: oh yeah TG: i was being sort of cagey and told him to check the mail cause i was wondering if mine came yet GG: i think it did! TG: yeah? GG: and i think mine came too TG: so uh TG: i guess you want to know if he likes it or something? GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know! TG: hmm alright (p.382)

TT: Jade is connected with you? TT: Where did she get the discs? TG: i dont know how does she do any of the loopy batshit nonsense she does (p.1401)

but because she’s gotten by on intuition and her dreams for most things, she’s not as adapted to the rationale behind actions. dave can sense her struggling and wants to help because it’s basically his mission for everyone, not just jade. but that’s the information that jade is glad to be led by and continues to unconsciously prompt him with. she encourages his practical ways and doesn’t tell him to fuck off or just straight up ignore his advice which dave interprets as his strengths being needed by someone else

GG: dave! GG: are you busy? GG: i dont have much time! GG: i am about to make my entry item, and its a little confusing GG: i think the more players we add, the trickier they are to... um...... GG: activate! GG: like yours was GG: i figured we could brainstorm about it, while john fusses with the kernel GG: helloooooo? TG: nak nak nak GG: :o (p.2907)

TG: yeah honestly i figured wed have to do something like this TG: so i guess here we are doing it GG: doing what?? TG: well youre my server player remember GG: yes TG: i need you to deploy something first TG: in my apartment TG: in a few hours ill go back there and we can continue this GG: oh jeez, a few hours???? -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- TG: yeah TG: as in a few seconds TG: im back at my place now GG: fastest hours :o TG: yeah TG: now TG: deploy the intellibeam laserstation GG: but that costs so much grist!!! TG: no it costs practically nothing TG: check out how much ive got GG: omg... GG: what does this thing do? TG: its mostly pretty stupid and useless TG: but itll come in handy here TG: it reads captcha codes GG: on the back of cards? TG: yeah GG: but GG: we can already read those! TG: some are too garbled and complicated TG: the human eye cant decipher them TG: needs sophisticated scanning technology TG: and artificial intelligence to figure it out GG: hmm GG: but isnt the whole point of captchas that only humans can read them? GG: and not robots??? TG: yeah well TG: thats why this is so dumb (p.3025 / 3026)

TG: thisll be the disc i use for your connection TG: while the original will stay bound to roses connection GG: so you will be the server for BOTH us ladies??? GG: you just keep getting smoother, i cant handle all this smoothness TG: well technically TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh... GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless TG: then he can start hopping around time like i did TG: make a ton of money and stuff TG: eventually become me TG: and become your server player GG: ok i think i understand that! TG: yeah see its not hard to get the hang of TG: in the meantime ill kind of loiter around this timeframe to help you out for a while GG: yessss thanks dave <3

TG: im just going to cut right to the chase and upgrade your alchemiter so you can avoid a lot of bullshit TG: ill give you some codes and you can punch cards and slip em into jumper blocks GG: yaaaaaaaaaaaay! (p.3030 - 3032)

jade has strengths that dave has weaknesses in too, which dave himself points out!!!

TG: ok so TG: the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass TG: please advise GG: i think your sprite wants to hatch it! GG: awww TG: do you think thatll take more than four hours GG: hmm... GG: i dont know it looks like its pretty warm where you are TG: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak GG: maybe not too long then???? GG: i guess we'll find out! TG: maybe i should try to get it back TG: and put it in the microwave GG: :( (p.1507)

dave assumed the egg needed to be heated to break and allow him to enter the game, so his course of action is to go up there and get it himself and use whatever means are at his disposal. that is a logical, straightforward thing to do. he doesnt rely on uncertainty and blind trust that things will just work out when he has the ability to take action in a way that makes sense; that’s jade’s thing. but it turns out jade’s intuition for how to solve dave’s entry puzzle was right! it was actually a test of patience. he later says this to jade

GG: you guys are all so much better than me, i feel sooooo lame TG: we all start out somewhere TG: remember how i was scrambling up that tower to get that egg like an idiot TG: what the hell was i doing TG: i was like goddamn pooh bear in a tree reaching up his fat fuckin pooh paw for some mother fuckin honey GG: heehee TG: so even though im awesome now at one point i was plausibly likened to an autistic stuffed animal TG: and you even knew what to do TG: you told me how it worked all christopher robinning my ignorant ass about that egg TG: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB TG: so maybe youre startin out with more sense than me GG: maaaybe GG: :) (p.3025)

hes pretty much like jade's hypeman but in his own sort of lowkey way and is actually sweetly reassuring to her. this includes davesprite btw

GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill :( TG: no you can kill them TG: youll get better dont worry (p.3024)

GG: hmmmm... GG: i dont know if i get that but ok! TG: well yeah TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will GG: i will? TG: yup (p.3024)

DAVESPRITE: as a sprite im supposed to help him with his quest JADESPRITE: oh yeah JADESPRITE: im supposed to help jade too, but...... JADESPRITE: *sniffle* DAVESPRITE: shes doing alright dont worry about it JADESPRITE: ok, ill try... JADESPRITE: shes a lot more brave than me i think JADESPRITE: she brought me back thinking i could help her and all i did was disappoint her and everyone else JADESPRITE: you came back as a sprite and youre managing to do important things... JADESPRITE: but i just feel so scared and helpless DAVESPRITE: sounds like you came back because jade made the decision for you DAVESPRITE: i made the decision to come back myself maybe itd be different if you had the same chance JADESPRITE: i dont know if i would have if i had the chance JADESPRITE: but i would like to not feel so useless to everybody DAVESPRITE: i think everyones on top of this DAVESPRITE: theres not much for us to do anymore (p.3927)

DAVESPRITE: so jade must have done something right DAVESPRITE: to wake her up and get the forge going DAVESPRITE: dont know what she did though JADESPRITE: probably something amazing JADESPRITE: she is still working so hard to help everyone JADESPRITE: i guess i used to be that way... JADESPRITE: but ive completely forgotten how DAVESPRITE: are you sure (p.3945)

JADESPRITE: it reminds me of when i died JADESPRITE: and i was trying to wake john up JADESPRITE: i was scared then too JADESPRITE: but i didnt let the fear stop me from trying to save him DAVESPRITE: what would you want to do DAVESPRITE: if you werent scared JADESPRITE: i have no idea JADESPRITE: i guess try to help JADESPRITE: what is there to do? DAVESPRITE: well DAVESPRITE: i was going to bring this sword to dave JADESPRITE: oh noo JADESPRITE: does that mean youre going to leave? DAVESPRITE: no DAVESPRITE: i was gonna say DAVESPRITE: im not in any shape for more adventuring DAVESPRITE: i figure this is probably my last stop JADESPRITE: :( DAVESPRITE: but maybe this is a way you can help JADESPRITE: you mean... JADESPRITE: that i should give him the sword? DAVESPRITE: if you want JADESPRITE: but i dont want to leave you here either DAVESPRITE: maybe you dont have to actually go anywhere DAVESPRITE: you oughta have a lot of special powers remember DAVESPRITE: because of ascending to doghood JADESPRITE: oh yeah! DAVESPRITE: try doing your spacey thing DAVESPRITE: i mean not to sound condescending or anything but its got to be like borderline omnipotence pretty much DAVESPRITE: just put your mind to it (p.3946)

knowing all of this about dave and jade’s personalities and how they work together, i’ve see people get on dave’s case about making jade slap herself in the face after she put the dead bird into his kernelsprite while he was preoccupied with taking a leak

dave freaks the hell out when he realizes she’s asleep; he needs to wake her up because she needs to help him get into the game while requires pragmatism and reasonable actions so that he’s not crushed to death by an imminent meteor. or falling plumbing fixtures. the goal wasn’t to show her who’s in control or whatever or to be mean (do people seriously think he would do that to be mean to her just to slap a girl?) it was strictly to wake her up since he has no means of influencing that besides getting creative

while asleep, jade doesn’t think logically and certainty not to the extent dave needs her to be right now. she’s scattered lalalalala and can forget about limitations or consequences in the real world and also has a short memory span while dreaming: e.g. “4 hours until what?” and she put something into the kernelsprite right after dave asked her not to because she forgor </3 and jade does acknowledge this about her dreaming self btw

GG: i mean, i only talked to you when i was asleep! i am kind of different when im dreaming... GG: i forget things, and at times im not totally sure whats real GG: dont you remember thats what its like to dream on prospit? (p.3056)

dave literally says “we need to wake you up youre not very logical like this” and he does apologize about making her dreambot wake-up slap her

i also see people say that dave thought of jade as helpless and he needs to be the hero and that's why "davejade is not good actually"

TG: but ok i mean isnt that what heroes should be doing TG: working to take down the bad guy without a whole lot of this fuckin grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans that got nothin to do with fighting him TG: like always biding our time and tiptoeing around the unbeatable god boss TG: johns too nice to get mad TG: rose spends all her time calculating TG: too focused on machiavellian ploys of sabotage to try anything drastic TG: jade is TG: i dont even know TG: probably more a liability if she got it in her head to take him down TG: if anything id bet she just needs protection GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG H3R3 D4V3, 1N TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T 1S ST1LL B31NG 4BOUT YOU TG: im just wondering TG: when does someone actually step up TG: jacks got shit to pay for (p.3703)

this minor thread gets followed up on in the pesterlog where jade contacts dave and eventually she concludes jack needs to be stopped and dave's like ... "oh shit" in his head. "oh shit" as in jade's got Game good for her go jade, "oh shit" as in she's going to be ripe for the stabbing cause the idea is in her head now, and "oh shit" as in this moment is the seed of why im going to have to rehearse jade accidentally killing me over and over and i cant tell her about it. due to this he is always fated to die in the alpha timeline both standing up to jack and to protect jade. it's woven into his story. but he was wrong about everyone else also! which i dont see brought up when that quote is used? rose does something drastic (pilots the moon into the furthest ring) and john gets mad (on the ship) and jade is the opposite of needing protection (she’s the only one jack won’t stab and also she ends up so fucking OP she has to be basically written out of act 6) so it's less a thing about jade specifically but to show that in hindsight dave was wrong about ALL his friends. which is an interesting discussion to be had about him in itself, but not now. this is the most sane and well-thought out interpretation of it ive seen

"In general, though, I think Dave has a tendency not uncommon to [thirteen] year olds (or… humans in general, if we’re being honest here) to cast everyone else as a player in his own story and characterize them in ways that fit what he wants. There’s the famous chunk where he says John never gets angry, Rose will never stop scheming long enough to take action, and Jade’s a liability, only to be proven wrong in every count. That fits his understanding of these people and his ideal relationship with them - friend, actor, protector, the one in the group who can be the hero." "Yes, I think Dave probably saw Jade as the most supportive and least judgmental friend. I’m not sure if that impacted his incorrect judgment of her since that’s kind of a pattern for him in general, but I guess it could’ve."

and also putting this solely on dave is kind of ... ehhhhh? because john says the same thing about jade but i don't see anyone getting on his case for it.

CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA. CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED. EB: what!!! CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT. CG: JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. EB: ok, well what about this. EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her? EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died. EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice. CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY. EB: sorry. :( CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON. CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION. (p.3869 / 3871)

and also keep in mind dave does absolutely change his perception about jade's strength??

DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that (p.6384)

DAVE: gotta keep em napping DAVE: especially jade im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got DAVE: cant let her turn those against us (p.7485)

so back to grimbark jade and the switching of these roles, dave doesn’t entirely lose his pragmatic bent. that’s still the way he thinks about stuff through but his time on the meteor has softened him and allowed him to become more reflective on big-picture things such as his role in everything

ironically this is the exact reason for his clash with grimbark jade is because she’s trying really hard to make him do stuff and it’s stuff that he’s not going to budge on because he doesn’t think it’s practical

JADE: why not? JADE: our empress can hardly have a knight with such rusty combat skills in her service DAVE: will you cut it out with the evil jade baloney DAVE: im not going to fight you DAVE: my rooftop dueling days are OVER JADE: en garde! DAVE: ugh DAVE: even if we just went balls out jackass BANANAS with our swords here i mean realistically how much appreciable advancement in my battle skills would even result from that DAVE: are you actually thinking this through or just going through the vaguely nefarious motions that come with the territory of being evildog!jade JADE: im gonna go through the vaguely nefarious motions of kicking your ass in a minute if you dont put up your dukes!!! DAVE: yeah you probably will DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that JADE: by using your time trickery! JADE: come on dave do your timey thing JADE: get creative, make lots of copies of yourself or something... outsmart me! DAVE: no! JADE: yes!!! DAVE: ok here i go JADE: !!!!! DAVE: wait DAVE: nah JADE: grrr JADE: dave, just try a little time travel to get this fight started JADE: see look, one of your time doubles is surely predestined to come from a few minutes in the future and appear behind me for a surprise attack, riiiight about... JADE: now! JADE: ... JADE: no wait JADE: riiiiiiiiiight... JADE: ... JADE: ... JADE: NOW! JADE: .... JADE: ..... JADE: dave why is your future self being such a wet blanket DAVE: i told you DAVE: im not time traveling DAVE: i think im giving it up for good actually (p.6384)

one thing floral mentions in her post is that dave is pushing jade for answers about her failed relationship with davesprite

DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this DAVE: what happened with you and him anyway JADE: none of your business >:p DAVE: it kind of is DAVE: hes bird me DAVE: that clearly means i have a right to know JADE: that doesnt make any sense! DAVE: you said he had issues DAVE: what issues JADE: augh! JADE: forget i mentioned it DAVE: was he talking shit about me the whole time or something DAVE: i know he resents me for being the real dave JADE: dont say that, you arent the real dave! JADE: well you are, but phrasing it like that is so mean! JADE: hes just as real as you, and when you imply he isnt you sound like a jerk!!! DAVE: man i knew it DAVE: i knew he was poisoning your view of me all those years DAVE: and i wasnt there to say anything or defend against his slander so now of course you think im a neurotic douche (p.6386)

and while it is true nobody is obligated to share the details of their relationship, there is a LOT of evidence to believe dave was asking because he wants to be a good person and, to me his words here, and his past and future actions relative to this point, show that he’s not as messed up of a person as grimbark jade is making him out to be. let’s dive into it. think on this: why does dave care so much what jade thinks about him? he started getting “neurotic” halfway through the conversation once jade brought up her feelings about him

JADE: THE ONLY REASON I THINK YOURE A NEUROTIC DOUCHE IS BECAUSE YOURE ACTING LIKE ONE NOW!!! DAVE: yeah but i only started acting like a neurotic douche like half way through this conversation DAVE: you clearly had an axe to grind with me from the start and i want to know why DAVE: what did i ever do to deserve this shit from you JADE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!! DAVE: what DAVE: i did DAVE: when (p.6386)

he’s genuinely so lost because he hadn’t had contact with any extension of jade in 3 years. alpha timeline dave has been sensitive towards jade for basically forever and especially now that he’s had time to grow up. he is not going to allow any version of himself hurt jade, and thats why hes asking so many questions to her about the nature of the relationship and what happened

JADE: ok not you JADE: davesprite did JADE: BUT YOURE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY! DAVE: whoa no way DAVE: thats such an unfair characterization we are completely different dudes JADE: you just said you had a right to know what happened between us because, and i quote, "hes bird me" DAVE: no i know DAVE: i was playing the "hes bird me" card because it was convenient to whatever it was i was saying at the time DAVE: i forget what point i was making when i said that JADE: *growl* DAVE: but thats not the point im making now DAVE: he and me are just DAVE: crazy different yo DAVE: hes got fuckin wings!!! DAVE: he also presumably takes a dump and lays eggs out of the same ghostly hole DAVE: ... DAVE: ew man whyd i have to go there JADE: *SNARL* DAVE: ok if he broke up with you or whatever that was because of his dumb bird issues not my issues DAVE: theres no way i would have done that to you (p.6386)

what dave means to say by “hes bird me because it was convenient to say at the time but it doesnt apply to this circumstance” is exactly what i was getting at in part 1 of this series of posts. yes, they are the same people at their very foundation, different reflections of a single character, but up to a point. there’s a gray area of whether or not we can call dave and davesprite the same person. in terms of this conflict though, dave should be regarded as a separate individual because of their diverging history up to that point and adolescent-teenage growth in different environments and under different circumstances. even if dave doesn't know what hes trying to say

he wants to know what this alternate version of himself did to hurt jade so much. even if grimbark jade really is bringing dave into some shit he had nothing to do with.

see the thing is, to me dave could have easily handled being accused a lot worse and say something like “youre overreacting” or something. that wouldve been dickish. but he doesn’t, he never does. he really seems to be more motivated by like, “woah what?? whats his problem? are these about issues i still have and dont know they were hurting jade or are they uniquely davesprite’s?”

like, this isn’t a joke to him even if his main form of communication through humor to lighten the mood (jade loves dave’s silliness dont forget all the times she’s giggled because dave was “so silly” and “hes a funny guy”). immediately after rescuing the mayor from eviljade’s lava kick, he was going to give davesprite a piece of his mind and this shows he is sincerely concerned about what an alternate version of himself did to break jade’s heart. he REALLY fuckin wants closure on it because he cares about her feelings so much

i don’t see this other side covered in floral’s post, but evildog jade here is Also pushing dave to do something that he is uncomfortable with as well, which is to use time travel.

dave stopped time traveling so he wouldn’t “have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody”, stating he was “never that cool with it” to rose back in act 5. around the same time when karkat talks to john, he says “TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER [FIGHTING JACK WITH JADE], AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH” which honestly makes me think that whole event was the nail in the coffin for dave on time traveling. seeing himself die fighting jack and knowing it was coming and he couldnt tell jade no matter how much he wanted to that her bullets were going to be the cause. this is the last straw for him regarding time traveling it affected him that much

remember the last lines of pesterlog jade had with dave before being separated? i mentioned it earlier--the one where jade decided jack needs to be stopped and they should “come up with a better plan than Rose’s suicide mission to stop him. Dave suggests the idea is futile, but lets her know she’d come to her own decision regardless, and he’d be available to talk later if needed” (from recap 3)

GG: well maybe im just being naive... GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me! GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him? GG: i dont know if we should rule it out! TG: well TG: youre about to do what youre about to do TG: and im not going to tell you not to TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway TG: so ill just say TG: whats next is up to you TG: and if later you want to talk about it TG: im here GG: ok GG: thanks dave! (p.3204)

this was dave’s nice causality-free way of saying “youre going to end up killing me during the jack fight that winds up happening. i cant tell you that im going to die and that youre going to be the one to shoot me, because i know you wouldnt go through with it. that would drag us in a doomed timeline and we’d all die anyway, not just me. youre probably going to be freaked out when it happens since i can’t tell you this, so if you want to talk me about it later, ill be here for you”

which, first of all is, holy shit. he cares about her and her feelings so fucking much. and it’s nothing new

TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? TG: sure TG: i did that TG: because i wanted to TG: and because i was supposed to TT: Are you sure? TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So what about Jade? TG: what TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right? TG: what does that even mean TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion. TG: wtf TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination. TG: aspd TT: Antisocial personality disorder. TG: oh no TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead? TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility. TG: none of this is that big a deal TG: i just mentioned the basics to her TG: that id stop time traveling soon TG: break out of the loops TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody TG: i was never that cool with this (p.3896)

dave got suddenly super fucking defensive about rose making assumptions about how he felt about fighting jack and knowing jade was going to inadvertently kill him, knowing damn well how jade reacts to seeing corpses (remember that time dave threw his slain body out the window so jade wouldnt see it because “it would probably freak her out”), and the fact that he couldn’t warn her to protect the alpha timeline and also protect both of them and everyone from falling into a doomed timeline. and he knew it was coming the whole time. he was right, rose didn’t know what was going through his head. but his defensiveness here means he had strong feelings about it. not only that but dave saying “whats next is up to you, and if later you want to talk about it, im here�� shows the amount of trust he has towards her

we see him tell this to grimbark jade straight up his thought process for why he stopped time traveling. and it’s spot on with what i said. again, remember that this is the first conversation he has with jade after 3 years being separated

DAVE: but see with time travel DAVE: all the stuff about learning it so you dont have to use it is true DAVE: theres no good that can come of it DAVE: you can crunch the logic on the loops all you want DAVE: but all youre doing is painting yourself into a corner DAVE: creating inevitabilities you have to rehearse and enact or face death for yourself or everyone you know DAVE: and sometimes facing death is the very inevitability you have to rehearse DAVE: and then you wait and wait knowing its coming and knowing it has to happen DAVE: how do you think it made me feel when we were gathering up all those frogs DAVE: and i knew the whole time in a little while you would have to watch me get shot DAVE: but i couldnt say anything or it would mess it all up DAVE: all cause i thought it would be cool to be marty mcfuckin fly DAVE: but instead of shredding johnny b goode on guitar to get my parents to bang DAVE: my crowning performance was doing a funny dance while getting pumped full of lead JADE: ...... (p.6385)

and what fucking broke me yesterday was realizing after all this time, ironically it was DAVE who wound up being the one who had to talk to jade about it.

JADE: sorry dave, you lost me there after the part where i shot you DAVE: damn DAVE: ok lemme start over (p.6385)

“damn ok lemme start over” bro he really wants to open up to her about this thing he’s been stewing on for three years only for it to fall on deaf mind controlled ears. it’s so fucking sad

part 3 is cooking and it’s going to be about dave’s character growth post-meteor and what that means for dave and jade

#homestuck #homestuck meta #davejade #dave strider #jade harley #homestuck analysis #hs

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cuntstable · 10 months

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oh oh also top 5 fictional characters...if you can sum them up with a little paragraph + why you like them if you know. regardless of source material type

oh man. okay i tried to not write an essay lenght post but i. ended up doing that anyway LOL. so ill save everyones dashes with a readmore

1. pucci. obviously….. the main villain of jojos stocean, an insane catholic priest trying to create ”heaven” on earth, that in short is a world where everyone will know their fates/futures from birth and will thus be able to avoid tragedy and/or make peace with the inevitable, as inspired by his backstory thats essentially a tragedy formed out of crazy coinsidences or ”faith”. he wants to make a world where things like that cant happen anymore and is willing to die to make it happen LOL.

idk man like where do i even start….. its very funny bc reading stone ocean there wasnt any single Moment where i went crazy mode about him it just gradually happened like i finished the story and thought about him a little and went ”Wow. WTF.” like im almost certain half of the things i think are interesting about him are accidental and ive just added to all the vague thematic implications he has but still. like hes very clearly inspired by characters like oedipus from classical tragedies and he embodies the main themes of the story hes in perfectly As The Villain (memories, faith, the avoidance of faith, the strenght of the human spirit and will etc etc). all the while being an interesting and TO MEE incredibly compelling and sad character in his own right, and also an interesting criticism of the catholic church and christianity at large (religious mania, justification and blindness to atrocities through god, apathy and nihilism towards the material existing world in favour of focusing on some uncertain World to Come etc etc). ARGH

2. almalexia…….. main villain of morrowinds tribunal dlc, a mortal turned god now losing her divinity and trying to hold on to it as she slips into insanity LOL.

this is definitely a character thats been elevated to me by my own musings on her and what ive seen others do with her as opposed to just the source material but i do still love her lots… i think i just have a bias towards delusional insane manipulative religious villains doing awful things that theyre convinced are necessary for a better world. that and girlbosses LOL

3. klaasje disco elysium….. a lover of the murdered man the plot of the game revolves around, shes on the run for corporate espionage and works as an important clue giver to the main character….

she so criminally underrated its CRAZYYY to me that people dont talk about her that much. anyway yet another two faced manipulative character on the list……. shes so interesting to me because shes clearly an incredibly sad and lost person with a lot of guilt all the while STILL being a bad person. shes the kind of character who wants to simultaneously die and to keep living no matter what, so she throws everyone she cares about under the buss so she can keep running and then turns around and associates with the worst people and parties too hard and lives very dangerously. idk. its interesting to me. that and shes also generally an incredibly charismatic character both in game and TO ME.

4. yuyuko touhou….. a ghost princess who rules over the underworld of hakugyroukyo. shes the main antagonist of touhou 7 in which she tries to resurrect an undead cursed cherryblossom tree and the unknown person buried underneath, only to eventually find out that the person buried is her very own corpse.

shes been my favourite character for like over a decade LOL. my first ever Blorberino if you will…. i just like her a lot i think shes a fun character as this mysterious hedonistic ghost aristocrat that likes to play dumb and relax even if shes incredibly smart and powerful. and also reading fanwritten doujins and fics about her (ill be fair) very sad backstory (was born as a cursed human and ended up killing herself and being sealed away by her gf so she could live a grief free afterlife with out memories) as a 13 year old did lasting psychological damage to me and my taste in characters I THINK

5. lady hideko from the handmaiden movie…… a japanese aristocrat living in occupied korea in her adoptive uncles mansion, she runs away from her abusive life with her handmaiden after they attempt to scam each other and fall in love instead

shes a random ass character to throw into this list LOL but i do love her…. one of the cinema characters of all time….. and yet another favourite of mine that falls into the Insane Manipulate character archeotype. i could talk about her more at lenght but this post is too long as is so like ill just say that shes a man hating lesbian that murders her abusers and ditches her societal status to go and suck some korean peasant boobs. so ofc i love her lost :)

#THANK YOU… AND SORRY FOR THE BEAST YOU UNLEASHED WITH THIS PROMPT

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

5 Anti LO Asks

1. i feel like S1, even for its mountain of faults, at least had some pretty art and a few qualities that made it not completely irredeemable, but S2 is just a hot mess. no plot progression has happened in over a year, characters have only regressed or remained stagnant (esp persephone), the story is nothing but RS trying to "clap-back" at the "haters" or using fanfic ideas, the main couple is stale, and it seems to itll have at least 100+ more eps if not more. its not even a fun read, its a chore.

2. psyche's new design kind of proves that rachel has zero understanding of how black hair works. maybe aphrodite gave her extensions, or something? but we see her with straightened (i hesitate to say permed/relaxed because her suddenly being black was clearly a wokepoints retcon) and then her braids/twists are just ... somehow the same length. smythe said no shrinkage and no logic. talk to a black woman ONCE, for the love of god, rachel.

3. for the anon: apparently rachel's original dreamcast for apollo was michael b jordan. bold of her to assume he would ever want to be cast as the insane rapist in a white-savior romance fantasy? that is BEYOND insulting.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

4. From OP: Had to remove the images but just know that they do talk about ep. 180. I have it saved in drafts so I’ll post the original when the episode come out but I’ll just describe the image for now.

Not sure is this is suppose to be ask or submit a post.

(Image of Hades telling Thanatos to get her a chair, Thanatos is shaking while Hades is angry)

Thanatos is not a fav of mind, but this interaction of fear needs to stop. When it's time to show off being a tyrant why is Thanatos constantly at the receiving end of his anger?

We have literally seen citizens disrespect this guy!

And he tells Thanatos to be grateful being a child abandon by his mother and immediately put to work as an employee so young is something to glitter for. If he recieved some apartment like Minthe or some other favor then I would backtrack, but Thanatos gets nothing, but sh*t and that's why I like his character bringing up nepotism. Grant it he did hook up with Minthe, but its not like Minthe was Hades' property. They were not together at the time and Hades was too busy having a "emotional affair" to care.

The power imbalance as boss, but also a king is already there, but Hades proceeds to always threaten him. The first time he did it. He wasn't even in the right. Instead of an investigation for the missing shades. He wrote his long time employee off as a slacker.

This interaction may be entertaining for others, but the eggshells that he has to walk on and the fact that this behavior happens even before the times of his crimes and Hades feels justified for it. Like, Thanatos how do you live like this?

And it seems like Persephone is uncomfortable with this reaction and has expressed before her dislike about this side of Hades. (Up to you on whether she should've accepted that side of him or not) but it covers my next point.

(Image of Hades telling Persephone to sit, she doesn’t look comfortable)

*Sigh* again with the little hints of power imbalance I won't bring up whats been said a thousand times so Ill get to the point. Persephone looks like a lost child commanded by her father here. Im suppose to believe that this is the manner he chooses to talk to his future queen (who is always alluded to be bada**) that he plans to wed if not now very soon? Imagine if Zeus had talked that way to Hera eyebrows would be lifted at least give a disapproving huff, Persephone. It's dialogue and mannerisms like this that constant reminds me that Persephone is a 20yr old child in comparison to the centuries old gods.

*Please note Persephone's glare to her mother and then her being back to this childlike scare when commanded. That makes this interaction towards the relationship to Hades and not just a general trial scare. (Next panel is before this one in comic)

If he made it upfront that I am strictly your lawyer and that is the dynamic we will carry this trial I would have just shrugged and accepted that he is more knowledgeable then her, but this flippy floppy cuddling Persephone to taking charge creeps me out it adds to the point. It did not feel like a mature interaction.

He comes off as this angry god who wants to protect his "cinnamon roll" in a trial! And to make things worse he is also the "judge"

And in the end of the chapter its a No emotions "I am here to defend Persephone" gig. Isn't...is that not what he should of been doing? When Persephone picked him the cliffhanger was cheaply cool and now we are doing it again?

I am at least glad that Zeus still has backbone to not Persephone glide by even for his brother. We went from "Your being to harsh on Persohone HOW DARE YOU!" to having the plot (not just Hades) have an excuse or at least have it brushed off every time Persephone's points are brought up and it's defended with emotional outbursts at that.

(Image of Hades asking Demeter why she didn’t come to him about the AOW, he’s clearly hurt)

The wording here confuses me? Tell you about what? A plan that Demeter did not know about? Or when she ran away to the underworld and Demeter did not ask for help?

Anywho, where does Hades get the nerve to speak to Demeter like this? Did you inform her of her daughter's whereabouts when she was drugged in the underworld? Or were you too fixated on your sexual urges? Oh what about the second time? Or the continuous months? Is Demeter not suppose to be a Goddess who fought along side you? "And you" is what Hades has to say to her? Hades disrespects Demeter time and time again. Not only did they argue in their youth. Hades came in drunk on Demeter's ground and even break into one of her rooms where her underage daughter lays. Constant invasion of boundaries. Just a complete lack of respect for someone you want to be your future MIL.

In the previous chapters Hades is "lumped in" everytime Poseidon and Zeus do something in his opinion, but as we see it seems like Hades has his own stories that you still don't take accountability for after that tape.

That does not even cover the added on stress of what Zeus did when he came to Demeter's garden.

I am glad she still has backbone as character because she really does not owe Hades the decency after what he did. Being a bystander or lack of action because you want to be supportive of Persephone's choices does not void distrust from Demeter. Like it's funny how he thought everything was peachy after everything.

Like seriously what is this trial?

(Any crappy flow of words and mistakes I blame mobile.)*If anything does not make sense I can answer them in notes.

5. (FP Spoilers) I don't understand what RS is doing with the trial. Like... So far it's just been Hermes and Thanatos just saying stuff about Persephone? And Thetis comes in randomly with Minthe with no prompting? There's no cross examination or order or anything. It's not really a trial it's more like a mess.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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muffins-are-ok-i-guess · 4 years

Text

Nobody asked for this but given the boredom some people may be facing, I'm going to reccomend a few of my favorite games in no particular order in case anyone wants to try them.

1. Life is Strange.

Awesome story about friendship, love, mystery and time travel in a port side town. Lots of fun details to find. Definitely fun but not necessary to reply. Characters can be a little cringey but thats kind of what makes it fun. Unique mechanics and I like how the decisions you make have consequences.

2. Oxenfree

Super creepy but fun game. About a group of kids exploring a haunted island but get stuck in a time loop. Again, your dialog and decisions have consequences that may even carry through to the next playthrough of the game. Which i highly reccomend multiple playthroughs for both enjoyment and better understanding of the ins and outs of this insane story.

3. Prey

If you like first person shooter games with cool graphics, SPACE, and story then you are in for a treat. The monsters are super spooky and i love it. Did i mention SPACE?? This game imvoles stragey, mostly free exploration, and a crafting system.

4. Beyond Two Souls

This has near movie like graphics in my opinion. I like to play in chronological order but all over the place is fun too as you piece together the story of Jodie and her "friend" Aiden as they run from the goverment, fight spirits and get traumatized over and over. Your choices and actions matter and there's multiple endings.

5. Heavy Rain

You play as multiple characters, who could all die for goodsies if you pick the wrong choice. Each character is trying to solve the case of a serial killer and each character has different motives and approaches. Timing means a lot here so be ready for QTEs and other fast time decisions to make.

6. Detroit Become Human

Ever wonder about the possibilitu of AI evolving? Thats this game. Its an interesting reflection on similar current events while also portraying a future that could possibly happen irl. You play different characters and your actions and choices matter a lot here too. Even just watching the game is like a movie.

7. The Walking Dead

The style of these games is awesome. Very like the comics and cool cameos from both other game characters as well as characters from the live action show. Love the story but im not great at the quick time events so beware.

8. Uncharted 4

So i played these out of order but the Uncharted series is like a more funny tomb raider but just as fun. I didnt even feel lost playing the 4th one first.

9. Until Dawn

Put yourself into a classic "snowy mountain in the woods teen slasher" esque film as a game. Examine everything and be careful which relationships you nurture in this game. The end reveal is crazy and i love it. Discovery in this game can be your savior or your downfall.

10. The Last of Us

A neat take on a zombie apocalypse game. The story ro get from A to B has a lot of twists and turns and that sweet sweet found family trope between snarky kid Ellie and grizzly "I'm not you dad" Joel. Just because i suck at the fighting doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

11. The Wolf Among Us

Imagine if your fave fairy tale characters lived in New York. And were kind of assholes. And suddenly the Big Bad Wolf is kinda attractive. Welcome to the Wolf Among Us. Based on the Fables comic series, this comic stylized game involves choices that determine your progress as you try to solve more than a regular murder case.

12. Minecraft.

So I may be new to the Minecraft scene. Its not a new game. But its fun! Its simple and charming and relaxing even if you dont actually make any progress like i do. But catch me in my huge tower like Rapunzel, only hiding from Creepers and Endermen.

13. What Remains of Edith Finch.

A walking playthrough of a girl revisiting her abandoned childhood home and confronting the dark secrets and mysterious deaths of her family. Is it all coincidence or are there supernatural forces at play?

14. Little Misfortune

As the game tells you, Misfortune is a wonderful girl from a not so wonderful family. Follow along as this little, silly, and sweet girl goes on a journey to find Eternal Happiness. She is led by a strange voice that can talk to you, the player as well as Misfortune the character. Help her game play out by making choices and observations.

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fipindustries · 3 years

Text

advice for my younger self

listening to that playlist i shared earlier today really got me in the mindframe of me back in my first years of college when i was barely starting to learn what it was to be an adult. and thinking about that i thought of some thing i would ike to say to that person, some bits of basic wisdom that without getting too specific or too monumental would have made a big difference. things that i know i wouldnt have figured out on my own until it was too late.

this is not about specific mistakes i made but more general attitudes that i should have carried with me back then. most of this is going to be very particular and make sense only to me but if you are interested keep reading.

1) you dont have to complete your carrer in five years, you can take six or seven or ten years to do it, your parents would have assisted you all the same

1.a) as for studying, for christ sake dont just read the textbooks, if you are giving a big test and specifically if its a big oral lesson, write it down before hand, prepare a speech, write a monologue, practisce it, memorize it. prepare specifically what you are going to say when you are in front of the teachers, dont try to just “learn” it and hope that you’ll be able to recall it during the test

1.b) you dont have to take every single course in the semester, you can pick two or three you are really interested in, let the others by the wayside, pick them up later, use the free time to really study properly or get a simple part time job if you can, i know its sounds scary and like its a lot of responsability and like it diverges wildly from the plan you have for your life but trust me, its a lot easier than it sounds

2) dont be afraid of mental illness. is not as scary as it looks form the outside in. you are not gonna go insane, you are not going to get lost in a false world of delusion where you can never know what is real and what isnt. reality asserts itself, things calm down, it goes away. you get through it and you realize is not that bad from the other side. mental illness is a lot more common than you think, a lot more widespread than you think and a lot more manageable that you think. is not the end of the world and is not the end of your world either.

2.a) dont be afraid of the therapist, you will actually enjoy it a lot. it doesnt mean there is something terribly wrong or broken with you. its not shameful. they are smart and trained and they are glad to hear you talk. they are not going to force you into anything you dont want, they are not going to turn you into someone else, they are not going to send you to a mad house. their primary goal is that you be comfortable and at peace with yourself. go to a therapist.

3) keep your eyes open for any boardgame clubs. ask around, i know for a fact there is at least one in every city you’ve lived, maybe not yet at the time of you reading this but there will be. if you find them, join. they are the best thing that has ever happened to you.

4) if you happen to have sexual partners (and im not saying you definetly will) make sure they have a good time. ask what they want and do it for them. make sure they cum, seriously. stay with them. spend time together. cuddle in bed. they are having sex with you so the least you can do is have sex with them as well.

4.a) and by that same token, if you are in a relationship dont doubt to ask for sex too! be open about that, be forthcomming, but do be respectful. and if they say no or that they dont like to do that you should probably end the relationship, you are not going to be happy with them.

4.b) dont be afraid to try on womens clothes, you have my blessing, explore your femmenine side, try on make up. try on the fake boobies. do silly frilly pinky femmenine stuff. i know it’s just a weird fetish for you but if you have a partner be open with them about this and if they are supportive or want to help you explore this take full advantage. and dont worry, its not some dirty disgusting terrible secret that must be hidden from everyone. your friends and family are going to be ok with it if it ever comes out but dont feel is some dark secret that you must confess either, its your bussiness and for you to figure out at your own pace (also, hey, weird tip, i know it will sound absolutely nonesensical to you but did you know there are a lot of trans women who are trans without expiriencing dysphoria, just a fun fact i wanted to share with you :) )

5) dont be afraid of SJWs, they are not going to take away your games, they are not going to ruin cartoons or art or books or movies. masterpieces will still come out, well written, well drawn, well programmed and well animated masterpieces that you will love. you will be amazed at how easy is to ignore those people and how irrelevant they actually are once you stop following them on tumblr and once you stop going to twitter.

5.a) if you think politics is stupid or cancerous now, wait until 2016, ok?

5.b) learn to apologize and own up to your mistakes. if a friend or an acquaintance is telling you that you are being an asshole online dont get defensive, just drop it and move on. dont make a huge deal out of it and dont engage in long protracted discussions online. just dont, you will embitter yourself, this is particularly salient because to this day you are having problems with this one, though not as frequently as you used to.

6) this one is more superficial i think because overall you did well on your own without advice from the future but... trust in your art. you will will amaze yourself with the things you will create. you ARE going to get a LOT better at what you do and you will learn a lot of things you never thought you would be able to master. you are going to become an amazing artist (that doesnt necesarily mean a financially succesful one or a widely known one but you will be good at it and, trust me, that is what matters)

7) i know you’ve heard this one a million times but this one is cheating because i am from the future and i know this for a fact, you will be ok. things will work out, you will, time and again, find the way to fall on your feet, your family and friends will be there to catch you. you have a safety net, you are very lucky in that regard, dont take it for granted but it is there. you are not gonna end up homeless in the streets or raped in a dark alley or expelled on in prison or in a mental hospital, so relax and stop being so scared. you have ten very weird years ahead of you so good luck with that.

ps: you are going to meet a girl named zoe, she’s great, she’s the best. dont go live to hear apartment if you dont have a stable job and able to pay your own rent. and if you do make sure you moved out of it by february of 2020. if fact if at all possible, try not to be in cordoba by 2020. you are going to be fine as long as you are careful, you are not gonna die, i repeat YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE. but do be extremely careful. thats it, godspeed.

#fip living life

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tommyquackson · 5 years

Text

Arrogant | B. Barnes |

summary: you’re an avenger, but you cannot stand James Barnes

warnings: fluff, cussing, reader and bucky are rude af

note: i don’t even know man, i just though of it.

Being an avenger was, in a nutshell, crazy as fuck. Between fighting aliens, terrorists, titans, meetings, training, families and living together you barely get time to just relax and take it easy. That’s not to say I don’t like being an avenger, I love it. Sure, I don’t love every aspect of it but if i’m able to save the goddamn universe, i’m gonna do it.

Speaking of bad aspects of the job, here comes Bucky “Dickhead” Barnes and Sam. He strolls into the kitchen like he bought the place with that god awful smirk on his stupid face.

“afternoon y/n” Sam nods towards me as he sits next to me at the Island bar.

“Morning sam, wanna train with me today since Nats on a recall mission?” I nudge him as I take a bite of my sandwich.

“Then who am i going to train with?” Bucky whines from across both of us, drinking out of the gallon of milk.

“Oh i don’t know, you could try yourself? Maybe you’ll be able to do some self introspection and figure out just exactly how many times I have to ask you to not drink out of the milk jug that literally everyone uses? Or you could finally try to figure out how not be a narssicistic asshole?” I sarcastically smile towards him.

“Ooo, are you using big words in the hopes i don’t understand them, so that for once in your life you’ll feel smarter than someone?” He smiles back

“I’m smarter than you could ever dream of being dick-wad, just cause Steve taught you how to fucking read a book doesn’t mean you know anything” I growl

“Jesus, it’s like watching to tigers getting ready to have sex” Sam widens his eyes. “But sure y/n, ill train with you. Wanna head there now?” He asks nodding his head towards the elevator.

“Gladly” I say putting my plate in the dishwasher before following Sam to the workout room.

After training I head upstairs to take a shower so I can get ready for some party tonight. I step out of the elevator and walk to my room and notice my door open. I peek in and see Barnes sitting on my bed watching TV.

“What the actual fuck are you doing?” I bark at him from the doorway.

“Watching TV clearly” He chuckles

“I meant in my room you dumbass. Get the hell out” I say walking in and shutting the TV off.

“You know you cuss a lot” He says finally looking towards me.

“You know you’re still in my room so i’m going to kindly ask you to leave before I shoot your ass” I clench my jaw. Why is he so damn infuriating.

“Wait, I need to talk to you” He says rubbing the back of his neck. Indicating he’s nervous.

“Make it quick”

“Are you goin to starks party? I uh, didn’t wanna go if i didn’t know anyone there”

“Yes im going, now leave” I say trying to push him out even though he’s extremely heavy.

“Geez doll, even when i’m nice you’re mean. What’d i ever do to you” He mumbles as he walks out, shutting the door behind him.

What did Barnes ever do to me? He should know fucking asshole. I came to the team, wide eyed and fairly naive. I was barely there 2 days before I was thrown headfirst into a dangerous mission with Bucky, who hadn’t said a word to me. I ran into a building, open firing on the enemy while barnes sniped from an upper level beam. I ran out of ammo and instead of grabbing another gun, i went for my knives and begin taking out enemies in combat. I was fighting my heart out when I turned around saw Bucky being distracted by one of their women, so distracted he didn’t notice the man making his towards him with a handgun. I had to throw my knife at him and kill him and Barnes still had his eyes trained on the woman.

He put both of our lives in danger just because he hadn’t been laid since the fucking 40s. Then the cocky asshole had the nerve to tell Steve about how well he did on the mission. Boasted about how many times he saved my life by sniping enemies that i hadn’t seen.

I shake it off and step into the shower rinsing off the thoughts of barnes. I step out and begin getting ready. Once i finish my makeup and move to my hair, deciding to have it straight and down. I put on my dress which is long and fairly tight with a slit up to my upper thigh. I put on my thigh holster and stick a gun on one side and a knife on the other, you can never be too safe. I slip on some heels and and throw some things in a small purse and head down to where the party is.

As I walk in I see a few of my agent friends and head to the bar to get a drink.

“Don’t look, but Barnes is staring you down, 3 o’clock” One of my friends tells me excitedly.

“Gross” I then look straight towards him and lock eyes. He smirks and winks at me and I smile and flip him off, rolling my eyes and turning back to the group.

“Why don’t you want him? He’s so hot, the things i’d do to him” She gushes stealing glances at him.

“Have him, I don’t want him. He’s an arrogant asshole” I shrug.

“Isn’t that exactly your type? Arrogant asshole to the world but cares for you?” She giggles.

“Oh fuck you, Barnes is not my type. He’s too- too” I grow frustrated trying to come up with a word.

“Too alluring?” A voice speaks from behind us.

I turn around and see Barnes leaning on the bar, a glass of whiskey in his metal hand.

“do you always listen in on a lady’s conversation?” I groan.

“A lady? No never. Yours? As much as I can” He puts on the stupid smirk again and licks his lips.

“Well than listen to this Barnes-“

He cuts me off by taking my drink, setting it on the bar and pulling me to a quiet corner.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” I nearly shout at him.

“Me? What’s your fucking issue? You haven’t even given me time to compliment you because you’re too busy running your mouth lying about how not attracted to me you are. So why don’t you stop running that pretty little mouth if yours for just a few moments while I say what I need to say” He barks at me. He widens his eyes when I open my mouth to speak but shut it promptly.

“Good girl, now let me start at the beginning. You look amazing doll, absolutely breathtaking. The little number is driving me completely insane. Like something straight out of my dreams. I also wanted to say Sorry, we got off on the wrong foot and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. I finally asked Sam and he told me you were mad cause of our first mission and how you saved my life and I was too busy looking at another girl. I’m sorry doll. I underestimated our enemy and put us both in danger. I’m also sorry for biting back at ya these past few years. You mean the world to me, even if I don’t act like it. I wanna make it up to you doll, you gonna let me?” He says, grabbing my cheek gently and biting his lip. I bite my lip before pouncing and pressing my lips to his.

“God Barnes, you are so thick. I was fucking jealous. I only want those pretty eyes on me and me only. I can barely control myself when you call me doll or good girl. Drives me nuts.” I gasp out as I kiss him and his neck in attempt to be close to him.

“My beds been dying to meet ya, let’s go” He says dragging me to the elevators and up to his room.

“I knew it, the sexual tension was too high for me to damn breathe” Sam laughs nudging Stark.

“I’ll have Friday shut down coms and cameras to their rooms.” Stark laughs tapping on his watch.

#imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #James Buchanan Barnes #sergeant james barnes #james barnes #winter soldier #au #avengers imagine

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hypmicscenarios · 5 years

Text

Anime Attraction

3.K words

A/N: High School au. Fic with ichiro, you two slowly falling in love over the span of a 4 day convention and bonding over the fact that you’re closeted weebs. (So he would like tdd era ichiro) And again! I use neutral pronouns! hope you enjoy~

Day 1: You were very excited, happy, elated, every happy word in the book! This year, you were finally going to your first anime convention. Unfortunately, you were a bit of a closeted weeb. People knew you watched anime….just not your extreme obssession with it. Maybe extreme was too harsh for you case, but you were sure that would be the situation if they ever saw your room, filled with anime posters, merch, etc.However, those were all bought online or in stores….youve never actually been to a convention.

Online, you heard many good things about it, and that people there, for the most part, were friendly. You smiled as you got off the train, an empty backpack on your bag, besides essentials, inside an empty tote bag for you posters. You had planned for this for months. Saving up all the money you could from your allowances. Your wallet, besides money for the train and food to eat, was going to be completely emptied by the end of the day. Finally, you took your jacket off, revealing a ( favorite anime) anime shirt on your person. One of your favorites. You could never choose. You could talk about it for days. However….it was Under rated. It was also a bit old...and you were late to watch it, so the fandom dwindled down.

You were amazed as you saw many cosplays, a bit too nervous to ask for pictures, or even compliment them, but you hoped they received your compliments in spirit….something like that. It was….also really big and crowded. You got too into your head, overthinking a bunch of things, that you didn’t see the larger man in front of you, hitting his back.

“O-oh im sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said, bowing quickly. You looked up at the man, gulping, quickly taken aback by how pretty he was, different colored eyes, red and green. It almost seemed like he was in cosplay, but he was just wearing a naruto shirt with black jeans on, a naruto headband around his forehead.

Ichiro blinked and smiled,”no need to apologize, I was kind of standing here in the middle of everyone anyway,”his eyes went down to your shirt and his eyes sparkled,”wait….thats a (favorite anime) isnt it! Whose your favorite character?”, he asked. You were taken aback about how eager and happy he seemed, but it definitely managed to make you relax a bit.

“My favorite character is [ ],”you said, stating your reasoning,”oh- sorry….I didn’t mean to talk that long,” Ichiro chuckled,”thats fine, I love them too! For mostly the same reasons, theyre kind of cool. This is my first convention so Im excited its going off to great start, thanks.”

Oh? It was his first time as well? “Its my first time too, I came here alone, I didn’t expect to be this big, theres so many people.” Ichiro nodded,”Im here by myself too, are you here all four days?” You nodded. “If you dont mind it, we can walk around together, ah! Sorry if thats a bit too forward….”,he trailed off. To be honest, Ichiro was a closeted weeb. So he had no one to talk to, let alone drag to a con. “Oh no, Um, its fine. I would like that...even though I know everyone here loves anime….”,you trailed off, the guy, whose name you still didn’t know, finished your thought,”because theres so many people conversing and being you feel like everyone already has their own cliques and you realize youre alone.”

Well. That. Yes that. You smiled,”Yeah, its that, and my nerves and anxiety.”

Ichiro stuck his hand out,”Yamada Ichiro, 2nd year high school student in Ikebukuro. Nice to meet you.”

“ l/n, f/n, also 2nd year in a high school located in yokohama, nice to meet you”m you said and shook his hand. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Day 2:

The first day, the two of you had walked around, played games, went to panels together, learning much more about each other. You agreed to meetup at the same place in the morning. Of course, you were even more excited than you were yesterday. You were dressed in more casual clothing, but backpack was now decorated with buttons you found. Soon, you heard your name being called out and waved your hand,”Good Morning Yamada-san”, you said, greeting him.

Ichiro smiled and spoke,”Morning! Did you sleep well?”, he asked. You shook your head in disagreement,”I barely got any sleep, I was excited for today.” Ichiro laughed,”so did I, so what should we do today?”,he said, taking out the convention program guide. “Hmmmm, theres a bunch of panels,”you said, going to the side of him and looking at the program,”how to successfully master naruto hand signs….”,you trailed off. They really….had a panel for everything.

Ichiro’s face lit up,” that sounds cool, want to go? Although I already know a couple…”,he said, and you laughed,”what? You going to become the next hokage Yamada-san?”, you teased a bit, but he went along with it, of course he did. You found out about this from yesterday. That he was like this. “I am gonna be next hokage, just believe it!”, he said.

“Thats naruto’s punchline you cant just steal it,” you said, watching Ichiro as he thought, then spoke again, very excitedly,”Im going to be next hokage, because I said so!”, he said, putting out a thumb. For some reason, it had you laughing a lot,”b-bbecause you said so? Ahahaha, well, you sure have a passion like naruto, I think thats all you need, its cute”, you said, realizing that you had just called the other cute.

Ichiro blushed and put his hand behind his back,”Sorry...I just cant be like this a lot in real life without getting teased for it, so its a bit refreshing,”he said and you nodded,, understanding completely.

“Well, lets go learn some jutstus even though they wont help against a gun but who cares, because its an anime convention, and we’re doing what we love,”you said confidently, more confident than you would expect from yourself. Ichiro nodded,”Dattebayo, lets go!”, he saidm turning around and walking. You were really having too much fun. Being attracted to him went way over your head for now, simply enjoying the time the two of you spent together.

Later on in the day, the two of you found an anime photo booth, Ichiro dragging you by the arm towards it,”for memories!”, he said. The two of you got in and hit the naruto theme poses. Of course, you indulged him, he was cute when he got his way. And, you didn’t have to worry about poses. Instead, they gave you poses to do.

The first was a naruto sign for any jutsu, the second peace signs, the third you had to stick your tongues at each other, seeming annoyed, and the last one….got you. It was only a hug, but they way Ichiro hugged you quickly and tightly, pushing both of your faces together, eft you shocked, and you were sure the picture didn’t turn out well. Once you got out and looked at it, Ichiro pointed to last one,”its like you were trying so hard not to blink, but we’re cute, arent we?”,he said and you laughed:yea we really are”, you replied, more focused on the current pace of your heart...beating very rapidly. You paid for two copies so you could keep it. The rest of the day, you two kept up your shenanigans. It was tough leaving, but you were going to come back tomorrow and, hopefully, your heart would learn to behave.

Day 3:

The two of you sat down to eat lunch on the third day, already having gone through a couple activities.

“Theres Jiro, then theres Saburo, and Saburo is the oldest. We’re all pretty close but Saburo and Jiro always fight a lot, typical sibling stuff…..and a lot of the times it includes me. I keep telling them I dont have favorites but they never listen,”Ichiro sighed with a smile on his face. It wasn’t an exhausted sigh though, he was used to it, it was just how they worked.

You smiled as he rambled on about his brothers. It was very clear that he cherished the both of them dearly and would do anything for them. “That must be nice….Im an only child so I could never relate to these type of things. Thats why I got into anime really, theres was no one that I could play with at the snap of a finger if I wanted to-oh Im not sad about it or anything, I love anime, it was really there for me in trying times, plus the internet.”

Ichiro nodded and then spoke,”Well, you have me now too, and you can be as passionate as you want, no holding back. You have my number now and its already fun texting you when we’re not at the convention.” He was right. After you guys left, you were quickly texting each other at home before you went to sleep. You sent each other memes,pictures, and talked about a bunch of different topics, that often you had smiling or laughing at your phone.

At that point….you knew had a crush. It was only two days but he was just so…..it was the little things really, not just the fact that you had anime in common. When you were walking through the convention center, going through a massive crowd, he told you to hold onto his jacket, so you wouldn’t get lost. Or how he quickly offered to help hold your stuff when you were buying merchandise. Or even him talking about how much he loves his brothers. Rather than weird, it was insanely cute to you.

It wasnt love per say…..well. Lets be real. You were a sucker when it came to love. Honestly, you dont even feel like counting how many crushes you had but none of those ever came to fruition. You should just focus on your anime boys but the moment some other boy is even the slightest bit kind to you, like helping you carry books, your heart falls. Despite that though, you felt like this was different. More than just a couple simple acts of kindness.

“Im really enjoying our time here, we’re going to the cosplay masquerade today right? We still have some time to kill, want to go to the game hall?”, you asked,”then we can see which one of us is better at dance dance revolution.” Ichiro smiled and nodded his head,”Yeah! Youre on!”

After that, the two of you managed to spend all of your time in the hall. Ichiro was by a claw machine and you commented,”I suck at these things,”then looked inside, seeing what plushies they had. “I think im pretty decent,”Ichiro said, walking up,”sometimes I won stuff for saburo when I was little...he grew out of it though,”Ichiro said with a laugh.He wanted to try it.

“Good Luck Yamada-kun!”, you said, cheering him on. You were amazed by how focused he looked. “Do you want anything specific?”,he asked you. “Wait, me?”, you said, trying to clarify. Ichiro laughed,”I think you’re the only l/n here,”he said. That...kind of caught you off guard. But you walked up and placed your hands against the glass. “Ummmm, that cat in the middle is kind of cute.”

Ichiro nodded. The first time, he managed to pick the plushie up for about three seconds before it fell, but that was better than what you could do! The second time, he managed to grab it again, your eyes wide in anticipation as you followed the claw and plushie to the drop off slot. “Oh my god, you did it!”,you said, going to high five both of Ichiro’s hands but, instead of letting go, he held them and put them down,”Yeah I did! Guess I didn’t lose my skill after all.” “Yeah...youre amazing”, you said, trying to not comment on the fact that he was still holding both of your hands. God….your heart was a mess. There was no denying you fell for him. At most, it was very high like at this point.

Day 4:

Ichiro was excited to see you again. Well, half-excited and half-sad. He really liked hanging out with you. More often than not, he found himself thinking about how you look best when theres a smile on your face. So, he always did dumb things to make you smile, no matter how stupid it may have looked. Maybe it was because you didn’t think his obsession was weird. When you guys talked, your interests lined up more than he thought they would. It was perfect.

Of course, he eventually figured out that he’d want to see you, in a more romantic context, that it is. He knew his feelings towards you were different. Honestly, he even weirdly got a little bit jealous when you mentioned how hot a specific anime character was. Ichiro didn’t necessarily plan on confessing that day….but who knows how things would turn out. Yes, it had only been three days, but he felt like he knew you already. Really, you guys always messaged each other.

The conversations would go dull for an hour or so but one link to a meme and that sparked a conversation that continued for a while. It was great. He had never felt so validated.

“L/n-san! Hey, morning!”,he said as he walked up to you. You looked like you were thinking hard about something, but Ichiro didn’t comment on it.

In fact, you were. Thinking about how you wouldn’t be able to see him so frequently. It made you….sadder than you expected. Granted you could travel to see him, but it was also due to the fact that it was the last day of the convention. Here, you could be yourselves without glancing over you shoulder every couple seconds in fear that someone you knew would spot you. It was so much fun, especially because of him!

Its for the best though….your funds were just about dried out. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw him though,”hey, good morning to you too, ready for the last day?” Ichiro laughed,”Yes and No because this has been very exciting.” You nodded in agreement,”it has, it does suck that we cant experience this everyday.”

“well!”,Ichiro clapped his hands,”lets not worry about that and focus on having fun, okay?” Your smile got wider,”yes, okay!” Ichiro spoke,”Datteba-”, then he pointed towards you,”Yo!”, you said, the two of you giggling. This had become your thing now, apparently, but you two werent used to it, hence you laughing off you embarrassment.

You went to the artist alley and exhibit hall one last time, taking a lot more pictures together than usual, even with cosplayers! Ichiro helped you out a lo with expressing that you wanted pictures with them and that was yet another thing that you loved about him. Without even asking him to do so, he just did it on a whim, and that made you incredibly happy.

A bit later, it was closing ceremonies. It wasnt much really, but anything to just spend even a little more time with Ichiro. However, that ended sooner than you expected. And you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

The two of you sat outside on a bench.

“So, I suppose this is it…”,you said. You had to get back early today anyway. Yet, you really didn’t want to. You looked up as Ichiro spoke,”no, its not it. We still have each other’s numbers, we can make it work, I-well….these past few days have been really fun for me,”Ichiro blushed, placing his hand behind his neck. Was he going to confess? If he didn’t do it now he knew he’d procrastinate on doing so forever. He didn’t necessarily have to make sure you were his in this exact moment, but his heart wanted an answer as soon as possible, before he got in too deep.

“The thing is….I want us to be more than just friends. I just….the more we talked, the more I found myself drawn to you. Like I can tell you anything. Its really easy to be myself around you, l/n, I want...to get closer. So, would you go out with me? Or not now, I mean you can think about it but...yeah.”,he said, face blushing. He had only confessed once in his lifetime and that was during elementary….he was quickly shut down.

You….couldn’t believe your ears. Did you really manage to find someone who was interested you at an anime convention. Well, you were sure there were more interesting stories but this was still way out of your league. You even thought he was way out of your league.

“I….we can date. I feel the same, about you, I like talking to you. And I think whats making me so sad is that I cant see you...not the convention part,”you said, looking towards Ichiro and seeing his grow excited. He grabbed your hands quickly and held them,”really?! Thats great.”,he said, letting go than hugging you. Oh. This was happening. It took you a couple seconds to process the hug before you reciprocated it.

Ichiro pulled away, looking down at you, a smile on his face,”when I talk with you, I feel like the happiest and luckiest man in the world. I know love is too strong of a word right now, but I want to do my best to make you happy.”

You were so flustered that you made no response, even more so when you felt his hand on your cheek and saw him leaning in. It all happened quickly. You closed your eyes and suddenly his lips were on yours. No movement, but it lingered for a moment, before he pulled away.

That was your first...kiss. You didn’t mind that it got taken by him but still….it was so much to process. Ichiro brought you back to reality,”Ikebukuro isn’t too far from Yokohama on the train, maybe we could meet in the middle on weekends, or switch up, ah, well I guess we can talk about this letter, getting ahead of myself,”he said and chuckled, which only prompted you to let out a soft laugh. He was like an eager puppy that you wanted to pet. Weird how he so easily calmed your nerves by the sounds of your laughs.

“Datteba-”

“Yo!”

#ichiro yamada #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic x reader #hypmic scenarios #ichiro yamada x reader #ichiro x reader

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anuknowha · 5 years

Text

Till Death Do We Part// Chapter 8, Selena’s Window

Yolanda sat there in her cell, marking yet another day on the wall. It's been over 24 years, over 8,760 days from when she was first convicted for her heinous crime. It felt like time would constantly move slow, the clock in her room would tick slowly, second by second passing. The ticks would be loud at some points, and at others, they would die down. Those sounds of the clock would ring through her ears and almost drive her mad. It was too constant, it was as if it were something she couldn’t get away from. Time itself was a constant reminder for her, it made her remember her mistakes. It made her remember when she killed Selena.

Currently, at her place on the floor, she was staring at the bunk bed in front of her that was always dormant. They refused to partner her up with anyone, she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve the company, she was meant to be alone. It pissed her off, she hated it but she knew this was the placed she earned in this world.

A curse left her breath as she was called out of her cell for lunch. She had forgotten what time it was. She looked outside her cell and there was a guard, standing ready with a key to unlock her from her prison so that she could be taken to me the mess hall.

“Come on Saldivar, its lunch time.” the guard beckoned as she grabbed her wrist roughly and led her to the cafeteria.

This was the only time that she was able to see other people, but she wasn’t allowed to communicate with them. She would watch them from a distance, as they would look in her direction and spit in it. And speaking of spit, she has been spit on multiple times by other inmates who even knew she had went to far. It didn’t matter what they did, or how long they were in for, they all hated her, despised her, all except a couple. The few who were supported were marked as “crazy”, they would sit as close to her as they possibly could; winking and smiling at her every time they passed her cell, or even just to get food.

They thought it was brave to the star out, they were always jealous of her fame and fortune.

“What does she have that I don’t have? A pretty face? I had one hell of a face before I was stuck in here, I could’ve been a star.” “She didn’t deserve to be so successful. I’ve seen girls prettier than her and she still got to the top of the charts.” “She ain’t make it look that hard, I bet anyone of us could’ve done this. We could’ve done this.” “Hell yeah we could’ve. Waste of time to think that she was going to actually see the end of her career. Thank goodness we had Yolanda here to stop her.” These were some of the things that had been said about her. They wanted to show their support. In their eyes, she was the most successful person there, she actually achieved something that most couldn’t or even feared to do. And with that they cheered her on, and worshiped her like a god.

It wasn’t always the same set of women, after all she’s been here for 24 years and not everyone was still there. Her first group was out on parole after her 9th year there. Second group was gone about a year or two ago. This third group seemed like they were here to stay, well at least one of them was. She was one of the girls from the last group, and older woman, placed back here because she decided to murder her boyfriend. The first time, she was in here for bank robbery. This woman just didn’t know when to quit, but Yolanda wasn’t surprised. She actually grew quite fond of her. And when her security walked away she would move to their table, admiring her admirers and listening to them talk about her success. She would laugh with them, and enjoy listening to their stories of how they ended up here and what they plan to do when they get out, no matter how violent their decisions were. But when her guard came back she rushed back to her lonesome table, wondering how long it would take before she could talk to her “friends” once again. It was the only thing she enjoyed, and it was the only thing to make her feel powerful.

After she finished her sandwich for today, her guard took her back to the cell that she hated. It was her home, and although it was now only 2 o clock, she was tired. She climbed into the bottom bunk and curled up, grabbing the pillow tightly and sighing into it. To be honest, she regretted everything, being part of the fan club and even meeting Selena in the first place. She wish she never knew about her, and maybe, just maybe she still would’ve been out living her life today.

She continued to think about the thing that landed her in this prison of life, one that she would more than likely spend the rest of her life in. She didn’t expect to be out for parole, even when the time comes, she was expecting everyone to never forgive her. If she got out, everyone would despise her, she won’t be able to get a job, and she’ll be struggling to maintain herself. After all, she was going to be over 60; almost old enough to get her social security and yet she wouldn’t have worked in over 30 years. She was going to be broke, she was never going to regain her life. And with that, she tried to clear her mind.

At dinner, she felt strange, she felt as if something was different, as if someone was watching her. She was slightly paranoid the whole time, watching everyone in the dining hall as they walked past her to their tables. It seemed like no one was paying her mind, and not even her biggest fans were looking in her direction today.

“I think her being in here as made her a little crazy.” one teased as she lifted her index finger to her head and rotated it in a circular motion.

“She’s been in here so long, what do you expect?” another one said.

“Maybe she’s just tired. Sometimes, when I don’t get enough sleep, I start acting a little crazy. You know, a little insane. Sleep is important for us.”

“Yeah, yeah, we know.”

“Should one of us go to check on her?”

“Nah, she’ll be fine by tomorrow.” the oldest woman at the table said as she turned in her direction and made a heart with her hands.

Yolanda just sent here a smile and a nod as she sat down the rest of her food, unable to finish due to the mental discomfort and the feeling of unease that tugged at her stomach. Needless to say, she was ready to head back to her cell.

Later that night, after the guards went home, she was slowly entering a relaxed state. She got comfortable as she laid down and turned towards the wall. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a sleep slumber.

At a quarter to midnight, she woke up, feeling like someone was staring directly at her. She looked outside the cell, and there was no one, the lights outside her small room were all off. The small light in her room was still shining pretty bright.

“H-hello?” she muttered out, only to receive no answer.

“Hello?” she mumbled out once more.

“I see you’ve aged quite a bit, must be the stress. You know, back when I was a singer, there was a lot of stress coming from being famous. But, I guess, being infamous can still put the same amount of weight on you. I wouldn’t know.” a voice came from inside the room.

“Who’s there?!” Yolanda jumped, sitting up in her bed, she looked around only to see nothing.

“You don’t remember me? That kind of makes me sad.”

“Who are you!? Show yourself!”

Selena looked down at her from the top bunk. She gave her a smile of both anger and disgust. “Hola bitch.” she stated.

Yolanda let out a scream, one that no one could hear. She continued to scream, before hopping off the bed and running as quick as she could to the other side of the room. He back pressed against the wall.

“You can’t be here!! You’re dead! I killed you!!”

“That you did, perra. But guess what? Since I was an innocent soul, I ended up exactly where you thought I would. In heaven, somewhere you’d never make it to. You know?” she giggled.

“This can’t be real!”

“You’re right it can’t be. It shouldn’t be, but it is, and here I am, in the flesh. My whole body, live and well with not a single bullet wound.”

“B-but how??” Yolanda swallowed hard.

Selena rolled her eyes.

“I just told you how, I’m in heaven.”

“No, I mean how did you get here?! Back to earth!?”

“That, is something I don’t know, but what I do know, is that I am back and I am well.” Selena said hopping down from the top bunk and basically floating to the floor.

Yolanda was still shivering in fear, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing and it was hard to even comprehend.

“You seemed surprised to see me.”

“Yeah!! Because you’re dead! I killed you!”

“You did. And how many years ago was it again? About 24? It's been a long time, and I bet you don’t even care.” Selena hummed as she took steps closer.

“I-I-”

Selena gets face to face with her murderer and looks her in the eyes.

“You’re not so strong without a weapon, without a gun to protect you huh? I mean look at you, you’re cowering in fear, afraid of what I might do to you. And honestly you should be.”

Yolanda grabbed the closest thing to her and threw it at Selena. It went through her, just like it would a ghost. She swallowed hard, her saliva almost getting caught into her throat.

“Trying to hurt me again? I don’t think you’ll find that as successful as you think. Too bad too, this would be a great time to prove how powerful you are.” Selena paused.

“I despise you for what you did. You killed me in cold blood in jealousy, for what? What did I ever do to you? I gave you a job, a home, and somewhere to be yourself, and how do you repay me? You murder me, right when I was hitting my peak of success, my peak of happiness. And not once did you dare to apologize. Not once did you regret anything that you did. Not once did you bring yourself to ever think about the consequences that you would bring about by taking me out. I lost my friends and family because of you, and they lost me. And it's all your fault.”

“L-look Selena, I didn’t mean to- I was just trying to-”

“Quiet!! I don’t want to hear it. You killed me! You took my life away from me!! I was happy and you just snatched it from me because you were being selfish!!” Selena said, tears forming in her eyes.

She tried not to cry but she couldn’t help it. Ghostly tears fell down her cheeks as she balled her fists in anger.

“I wanted to have kids! I wanted to start a family! I wanted to continue making my mom and dad proud, you don’t understand. I don’t expect you to understand. I really don’t” Selena shook her head and relaxed her hands.

“I’m sorry Selena!! I’m so so so sorry!! Please! Forgive me!! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to end your life like that! I was just being jealous, I just was angry that I might be forgotten or left behind by you by the time that everyone knew me.”

“I wasn’t going to forget you. I’m better than that; I’m better than you, and I always have been.”

“Selena!! I’m sorry!! Please!! Please forgive me!! I didn’t mean it!! I really didn’t mean it!!”

“Yolanda, I can’t. You did it, and you have to own up to it and you know this. I was trying to be there for you, just like I was everyone else. I wanted to make sure you were happy, that you were satisfied with your job. I wanted to see you succeed in life, just like I did, and you didn’t have to be famous to do that. You just needed to be happy, you needed to be content with what I was giving you and I was giving you everything. You had a lot of my attention, my time, and my love. You were in charge of my fans. You were to help me while I helped you. You were to be my best friend when I’m on the road but you didn’t appreciate it. It was never enough for you and I should’ve saw it in your eyes, I should’ve seen the anger and rage that ran through you for who knows how long? But you know, I tried to look past it, I was better than that. You know this, everyone knew this and that’s why they’re all pissed at you. They knew I didn’t deserve this. But what should I expect? Trust no one I guess.”

“Se-” Was the only last syllable she could mutter out before Selena cut her off.

“Vete a la mierda.” Selena said as she turned her back to Yolanda and walked away, disappearing into thin air.

Yolanda clenched her teeth, trying not to cry. She felt regret stab her in her stomach and she felt angry at her past. She fell to her knees, scraping them on the dirty cell floor. She screamed loud, her hands gripping tightly at her hair and yanking roughly, pulling strands out. She continued to screech, which echoed through the area that she was sitting in. She could feel herself slipping, wishing that she could take it all back.

The lights flickered. Before it stayed on for the rest of the night, this time, it was just a lot dimmer.

Chris was sitting in his room, his guitar in his hand as he strummed a few strings. He hummed a melody to himself, it was one that belonged to one of his ex wife’s songs. He let a long sigh escape his lips.

It was getting late, and he had been up all day trying to think of something to write, but nothing came to mind. And the longer he sat there with his instrument in his hand, the longer time slipped away from him and before he knew it, it was 1am.

“I wish Selena was here. It's been so long…”

He felt his heart ache. He felt empty inside once more, and that’s probably why he divorced his last wife. No one could replace Selena, no matter how hard he tried. He hung his head in dread.

“Bebe?” Selena’s voice came in a whisper from the other side of the room.

“Selena?” he lifted his head up to be faced with Selena standing in front of him, an enormous smile on her face.

“Selena!” he jumped up from the bed and embraced her in the best way possible in a warm loving hug.

“I missed you so much Chris.” she said, her smile fading only some.

“I missed you more Selena.” he said as he pulled away from her some, only to pull her into a deep, passionate and loving kiss.

Their hearts were beating a thousand miles a minute as they held each other in an embrace. They felt so warm and comforted.

“Wait, how could you be here!? I thought you were dead!?”

“I am dead, sadly… but… I found a way to travel here, and I knew I needed to pay you a visit.”

“Mi amor, its so late... “

Selena laughed and pushed him gently. She took a look at the clock.. “Its only 1 in the morning.”

“Pretty late to be visiting someone don’t you think?” he laughed.

“Fine!” she said pushing him harder so he falls back onto his bed in a fit of laughter.

Selena crawls on top of him and pulls him into another kiss, more passionate than the one before. Their kiss lasted for minutes before she pulled away.

“I’m sorry Selena.” he tried to fight back tears.

“About what love?” she said, questioning his worrying expression.

“I found someone else… but we got divorced! But we do have two kids… I’m so sorry.”

Selena got silent and felt something that she would assume, if she wasn’t dead, would be heartbreak. She shook her head trying to shake the feeling and gave a soft sigh.

“I didn’t expect you to stay single forever, and it wasn’t your fault I died. I just hope you were happy as long as you were with her.”

“I was, but I was never as happy with her as I was with you.” Chris mumbled.

Selena kissed him once more, wiping his tears away.

“Chris, I just want you to be happy, I don’t care how it happens. I don’t want you to just be caught up on me. I’m gone, and I can’t come back in any other way but this one. And it's not permanent. I don’t even know how long I can be like this until i have to return back to heaven but I wanted you to know how much I love you, and missed you.”

“Please don’t leave again.” he almost whimpered as he gripped her wrist.

“I have to, I’ve been on earth for a few hours now and I don’t want to miss out on talking to my family. Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Selena… I love you.” he said, tears continuing to stream down his slightly swollen cheeks.

“I love you too Chris. Say “hi” to the kids fo me.”” she said as she started to fade, her voice zoning out along with her.

Chris sat there, in his room in disbelief, but he soon began to smile. He wiped his tears away and laughed some as he realized that this was the happiest he had ever been in a while.

Soon enough, Selena was in her brother’s house, who was fast asleep. She planted a kiss on his forehead and rubbed his shoulder before leaving out. She then went to go visit her sister who was preparing for bed, and gave her a pat on the shoulder and a hug from behind. Her sister turned around and saw nothing and continued to prepare herself for sleep. Selena knew she would return a better time, when everyone was active and awake so that was she could spend quality time with them.

Lastly, she went to go visit her parents who were sitting in the living room watching tv. She appeared right in front of it.

“Hola mama, papa.” Selena said grinning.

Both her parents sat up and looked at her, wiping their eyes to make sure they weren’t dreaming.

“Selena!?” they shouted in unison as they both got up and ran over to hug her.

“You can’t be real!!” her mom screamed in disbelief.

“I am mama, I’m in heaven, but I managed to come here so that I can see everyone.”

“You mean you already visited Chris and your siblings?” her father wondered.

“Yes, Chris was awake writing music but my brother and sister were sleeping.”

“We just can’t believe you’re here mija! We’re so happy to see you!”

“Me too mom, I’m so glad to be able to see you again. Both of you, here alive and well. It's been so long since I’ve been able to have the embrace of my loved once and I wish it could stay that way.”

“I wish it could too.” her mother was tearing up,

“No, please don’t cry mom…. I know this isn’t forever but I’ll be back I promise and I know you’ll both join me in heaven. I’ll just keep coming back until you do, as much as I can,as often as I can. I promise.” Selena said as she started fading away.

“What’s happening?!” her father screamed in a slight panic.

“It's time for me to go I guess. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here that long. I’ll be back. I love you both, I always will… make sure you tell Marcella and Abraham that I visited them last night, and that I’ll return soon.”

“Bye Selena! We love you!” they said together as her father hugged her mother trying his best to comfort her.

Selena waved and blew them a kiss as she became nothing. Completely gone from earth’s surface.

“Selena! Selena wake up!!” the brunette shook her new friend’s lifeless body in worry.

“Selena!” She shook her harder, as she watched Selena finally started breathing again.

She gasped and opened her eyes. She sat up, almost as if she was startled and looked her friend in the face, giving her a big tight hug. She took a second to gain her breath, her chest heaving and her heart racing.

“I’m fine Lisa. Its okay, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Thank goodness…” Lisa sighed as she clinged to her friend’s clothing.

“How long was I gone…?”

“About 5 hours. I thought I had lost you. I wasn’t expecting you to be out of it for so long. What even happened…?”

“I-I’m not sure…” she said pulling away and scratching the back of her head. “I was able to visit my killer, and I was able to get in contact with friends and family. I was so happy to see Chris… and mama and papa.”

“How…?!” Lisa’s eyes widened in wonder and speculation.

“It must have something to do with concentration and thought…”

“I didn’t know we were capable of traveling to earth.”

“Me neither, not until today anyway. But, I don’t think I can do it again. It took a lot of energy and it was super stressful.”

Lisa grew worried and hugged Selena once more, the warm embrace comforting her as they sat there together.

“I want to know more, but I rather not have you talk about it. I don’t want you hurting or worrying.”

A knock at the door suddenly came and they looked at each other in wonder.

“Who is it?” Selena shouted.

“Um… its Mac Miller.” the voice behind the door said.

“Who?” Lisa asked.

“Mac Miller, the rapper.”

“We don’t know any Mac Miller.” Selena responded.

“That’s fine… but I just wanted some help… please? I was just wondering where we were and how’d I get here? Lemme in maybe?”

“Fine come in.” Selena sighed as Mac opened the door and walked in.

“Me too” a second voice came from what seemed like out of nowhere.

A dark skinned man with dreads and an accent walked in. He took a look around, slightly confused about his surroundings.

“I don’t know where I’m at either... “ he drifted off. “Oh, and I’m Bob Marley!”

Lisa and Selena sighed to themselves as their new focus was now on the two men in front of them.

Taglist: @lennonwhipped @rogers-flowered-blazer @caviarandqueen @caminc91 @sweet-mother-love @peacelennon

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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years

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ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

#vent/ //#might delete later ///#ok to rb but. i swear to god if this pops off and ppl whine...... literally L I T ER A LL Y come take care of my kids #NO BETTER YET BC ITS ACTUALLY FEASIBLE!! FOR EVERY COMPLAINT. 5 DOLLARS IN MY PAYPAL #SO I CAN AFFORD DAYCARE. LITERALLY IF OYU CLAIM ANY STUPID SHIT BC I ADMIT ITS HARD TO CARE FOR SMALL KIDS #U HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT PUT THAT FAKE BITCHY JUDGY CONCERN INTO ACTUAL RESULTS. THANKX #anyways on a real note again this is a vent moreso than a disc horse post thats meant to be shared around so #its not perfect its just. my feelings over the past couple years dealing w this man #really fuckin tired of it i really spent so many years 100% on the side of 'i have critical understanding i get to judge'#no i didnt. no you dont. its not comprehensible till you're pushed to your own limit with childcare. i hate being that btich #cuz nobody wants to hear it. but its the truth swallow it #long post //

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