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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

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Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

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figuringouthowtobehere · 3 years

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please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood.

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now.

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it.

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would.

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

#childhood abuse tw #tw #tw alone in the world #suicide tw #please dont reblog this #no rb #homelessness tw

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blurays · 3 years

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i dont constantly look anymore but its been exactly 17 months n 1 wk since the start of this idk median survival is 15 months so look at me go i guess

if i was still on chemo id be finishing in a few days

i know im not supposed to think about it all the time or people dont want me to but whenever i dont for a while it just freaks me out like im not worrying about it Enough

i feel like im supposed to have some sense of profound gratefulness like oh every day is a blessing now but idk i dont and it just feels like things are getting More unfair which like. poor emmy shes always whining abt smth ik but yeah the hip thing has felt just, profoundly unfair

like ever since this started it’s been: a few months of steroids/er visits -> brain surgery -> rehab -> full round of chemotherapy and radiation -> 10 rounds of chemo while walking on a broken leg -> total hip replacement -> physical therapy that started out so hard that i would scream when they lifted my leg

like. 17 months but this is like the start of me not being physically hurt and sick and even then its not like i feel great i still ache all the time and im limping and its gonna take me like 3 months to recover from this and thats not even having my other hip fixed...

idk its just like ive probably said this before but everythings abt like extending my life not quality of life i havent had Any quality of life at all for 17 months so yay i made it past 15 but for what and i do hope it gets better but idk its just really fucking sucked for a year and a half and i feel like no one Gets it i mean some people do obviously a lot of people are really kind but idk people just expect me to be like . a normal human being which is yeah i dont get a free pass i know but like its hard i feel like its not even worth trying anymore bc even ppl who do know have so little sympathy lol its like . idk sometimes i get mad like no one shld get a pass for being abusive or smth but the way ppl r like accommodate x disorder but for me its like nope u have to learn to act like us even tho everythings different for u on every possible level

ppl think they know what its like like obviously some people know or relate to parts etc but ive hd multiple ppl be like well we could all die at any minute and its like... fuck off it’s different when your life revolves around it. when ur on some weird vague countdown at all times and everything in your life is abt trying to push it back a little like wtf am i supposed to do w that

ok anyway... who knows.. wnted to write smething long and weird xx

#not actually having a meltdown but i feel like all Death Things shld be under read mores so yall can. skip

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do-kyngsoo · 4 years

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i feel the same way about kolo (ksoo solo). at the beginning of the year there were rumors hed be in a subunit called sky w chanyeol and jongin or smthn but no. idk if it's him who doesnt want it bc hes busy w acting, but ik a lot of ppl are waiting for an r&b album from him. ive been waiting for a chansoo unit since like growl era but since chanyeol is in sc now, i dont see that happening

I don't think it's that he doesn't want it, there are a lot of accounts of him saying he wants to do a solo, one time where at a fansign where a fan asked if he was doing an ost for his movie and he said sm was heavily against it, he's said a few times that he wishes he could be a part of cbx too, not to mention all the times that he's with chanyeol in the studio composing songs and writing lyrics. So i highly doubt that he doesn't want to or that he wants to just focus on acting, tbh i think most of that are words coming from non ksoo stans who would prefer him to stay away from singing so their bias could have more opportunities which is sad but fans are like that i guess 😔

All the times chanyeol or jongin said they wanted to be in a unit with ksoo definitely got my hopes up too (ive basically been waiting for a chansoo unit since i became a fan lool) but exo sc did a great job and im glad it happened because until obsession dropped what a life was my favourite album for the year

And another thing i've seen a lot is people (again non ksoo stans) saying that sm probably doesn't think his album would do well which honestly is laughable. Ksoo is arguably the most popular exo member in korea through his acting, I mention this case every time but the fact that during exolympics ksoo was one of the top trending on his own in korea (and japan) because people didn't know that private won from along with the gods was actually an idol singer, ksoo has brough exo a lot of male and older female fans through his acting too just because they were curious to know more about him.

If you combine that with the stats for that's okay, this unpromoted station song topped the charts when it was released, it stayed in the top 100 for a long time (i think months) and then if you compare it to other sm solo releases

2 of the songs above it were released months before it and were part of full promoted albums (with music shows and interviews etc) and the last song was released a few weeks after and was an ost for an extremely popular drama for the year (plus taeyeon is a digital beast so its to be expected lool). I'm not saying this to put others down because they fully deserve the figures they have but my point of it is to show that if ksoo can get these kind of figures on the other artists levels for a single unpromoted song with an mv that doesn't even have him in it then imagine what he could have done with a full album and a bit of promotion 🤷🏽‍♀️ plus so many idols and other korean celebrities have all recommended his song, said that ksoo is the idol they would want to collab with and when describing the song mentions the lyrics (that ksoo wrote) and ksoos voice as the main reasons they like the song so the boys got talent but we knew that 😂

i always go on a super long rant with these and i'm sorry to my followers for this but i feel like ksoos solo is LONG overdue, he is a MAIN vocalist yet has hardly ever been treated that way by sm (don't even ask me about the list of how many solo, collab and unit songs ksoo has released compared to the other members...it makes for extremely depressing reading and i wish i never looked)

but also i'm mad at a lot of other member stans disregarding ksoo as a main vocalist too and trying to use the excuse of him acting as a reason for why he shouldn't sing and especially knowing that their reasons for saying this are really selfish, they should support every member instead of trying to push one to the side

bottom line: sm better give ksoo his solo album when he returns or i will personally find lee soo man to yell at him

#you probably wasnt expecting this anon loool #every now and again i need to let my frustration out in a post like this #ksoo works so hard its just a shame to see him now get much back from others #ask #anon

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cs-discourse · 5 years

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since ghost wants a defending post i will also make one

hi! as yall seem to commonly know me since it was my user before i changed it, im star child. im that overgrown cow that's smearing names and causing drama whats up

i would be a mature adult and DM you ghost but honestly i know you'd probably just spend ages trying to defend yourself fruitlessly and also i have you blocked so whatever

here's the screenshots i have available (sent to me by very kind users in the chat who felt i should know what was being said after i left) and my comments to go along with it

some background: this discussion was happening in a channel called 'real-images'. a place where you would not expect a conversation about docking to be taking place.

i clicked into this channel to see what was happening and as you know, with discord, it automatically puts you on the oldest unread message when you click into that chat. i was greeted by conversations about cropping and docking - choke chains may have been mentioned, im unsure, because as soon as i saw the conversation i began to feel sick and so clicked out without skimming through the convo.

i went into 'questions' and asked if they had a way of requesting certain topics to be tagged and that's pretty much where this begins.

first i'd like to say 'don't enter the channel' hey ghost, how was i supposed to know that clicking into a channel to share pictures would lead to me walking into a conversation about my trigger? are you really going to blame me for that, huh?

second, this was me literally asking slash 'speaking up' about the topic. why was there any need to get this passive aggressive over it? i put in a request. you could have said yes. you could have said no. you could have said 'sorry we can't blacklist it but we'll try to ask people to spoil it or put a warning'. instead you told me to 'go off' and put :) which yeah we all know what that emoji means you weren't being friendly or subtle

we all know neons a big advocate for choke chains and shock collars as well as whole host of other mistreating animals. i'll make a second submission on that if people care but neons animal care? whack. bro i hope you grow up and learn to look after your pets.

anyway, mods please tell me why neon was allowed to get involved and say 'they just let their opinions get the better of them and speak out of turn' to be greeted with agreements and being told it was fine when it really wasn't fine.

Spooky Rabbit, i dont know who you are but you're cool. you made me a little less upset but it was a little too late bud

it's really nice how this convenient controversial chat only popped up after i started talking about the way i was treated in another chat huh. a whole half hour later when i'd already posted screenshots and vented and let people know what happened. love the damage control here

anyway

'speak up' once again yeah i did that and look where it got us all, Joke

something said to me outside of cottontails but this is in retaliation to the 'why didnt you speak up earlier' other than the simple fact i wasnt there lol. neon always likes to talk about these nasty little dog topics. if i'd butted into a convo i hadnt been a part of previously and said 'can we not discuss this?' i'd love to bet a whole 25$ that ghost would've told me to just mute the channel, or neon would've ignored me or told me to "just not argue uwu". either way y'all were going to get angry at me for my trigger.

'don't want to butt in with my opinion but-' neon all you ever literally do is butt into conversations its practically your only personality trait other than mistreating ur animals lol. 'made things difficult' 'i'm vocal about my opinions' and then telling me to shut up about mine? okay if you say so.

Adam, 'we can't blacklist every topic users find uncomfortable' I'd like to point out again that a literal trigger is something very different to being uncomfortable! and on top of that it wasn't like i was asking you to trigger tag mentions of a popular character, or a food, or a language, or a colour. i was asking you to trigger tag a very controversial conversation centered around cropping, docking, and choke chains. an extremely heavy topic. not a minor inconvenience.

cool cool yall were making fun of ppl with triggers. nice

from a PM from cinna after i PM'd her about transfering my rabbit out of species - no cinna, they weren't blunt, they were just mean. simple as.

ik ppl dont wanna read text walls so this is mostly at ghost who claims im a harrasser and an abuser because i dont like neon using choke chains and shock collars

oh!! also conviently gonna add that "come for our side of the story" - you know one of your staff did that right? they went to a species owner of a species im involved in and tried to get me banned for causing drama? but didnt give any information or screenshots, and i had to provide them all to the owner to make sure the whole story was out? convenient how you just forget screenshots when they make you look bad.

this is long so

tl;dr ghost was p nasty abt the convo. they made fun of people being sensitive. they told me my trigger was a minor inconvenience and not important enough to tag. they only added a controversial topic after i kicked off because they didnt want their asses in trouble. neon got involved and isnt even staff so idk why they did.

anyway that's the news from your local drama queen, im gonna go chew on some grass now moo moo bitch

#cs discourse #submission

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grimesscarl · 5 years

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10.03 meltdown reaction

my mom realized we have amc premiere so i got to watch it yesterday so this is my wordsworthian style reflection in tranquility on the events of the new episode:

are they gonna keep doing the BAM BLACK SCREEN VAGUE WHITE TEXT thing bc i’m not crazy about it

always love watching them fight walkers solid start 10/10

the waves are stressful don’t like that 0/10

✨michonne✨

she snapped at daryl which made me laugh

they’re tired :(((

JUDITH STAYING AWAKE TO WATCH OVER RJ UNTIL ITS SAFE IM SOFT

the drawing of carl,,,,,,,,,,,, can i DIE

(ik i’m probably going way out of order but bear with me it’s only gonna get worse)

aaron needs to chill the fuck out he’s getting on my nerves

like i get it you miss your husband man but that was literally like 7 years ago

i mean i loved eric but fr fr it’s been a minute can you Chill you have a CHILD

speaking of children and chilling out

lydiaaaaaa

i, for one, believe her wholeheartedly

but that makes me nervous bc who the fuck is sending waves of walkers at alexandria if it’s not alpha

HOW DID I COMPLETELY FORGET ABT THE HOARD I WAS SO CONFUSED WHY WE WERENT JUST KILLING THE WHISPERERS

i did not know any highwaymen survived oop

michonne shut that shit right the fuck down

siddiq D:

i mean okay i understand why they wouldn’t ditch carol and go meet alpha without her but did they really expect her not to try something??

alpha can chOKE FUCK HER THAT WAS UNNECESSARY

michonne and daryl both knew what carol was gonna do i love my family

daryl just “we’re done”

michonne’s forced apology as daryl just drags carol away

“i forgive her mother to mother” hey FUCK YOU

alpha is NOT a mother she’s a BITCH

also michonne is a mother and she’s lost two children too like if anyone understands what carol’s going through it’s michonne

(okay veering off imma cover aaron and negan, siddiq and not-so-super-douche, then back to carol, daryl, and michonne)

gabriel is so used to dealing w negan by now i love how he’s just like constantly exhaspterated but other than that nothing negan says really gets to him

and like he literally listens to negan (sorta) which is just hilarious to me like negan was so terrifying and now he’s just like “hey gabe can i Not Do That” and gabriel is just like “yeah no you do what i say”

i just love the dynamic 10/10

aaron needs to CHILLLLL

also wrong incorrect negan cares about one (1) alexandrian and it’s judith

but fr negan doesn’t know anything about eric my dude he didn’t kill him eric was a dumbass and jumped out from behind the car

there was!! no reason!! to piss him off!! aaron!! what!! the!! fuck!!

i mean the excuse was flimsy but tbhhhh if negan was the protagonist of the show i’d honestly believe everything he did was justified ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay but negan just sitting there in the dark w the crow bar watching aaron stumble around was Concerning

i haven’t been truly honestly worried he was gonna kill somebody since rick only kinda slit his throat until this episode

like there was a moment when i really thought negan was gonna kill aaron

but hip hip hooray no murder negan today!!

the whole entire scene w eugene and rosita was good but sad but good

growth~

okay so siddiq is traumatized like we knew that but now it’s like actually possibly interfering w things

super douche is officially not a super douche i misjudged him completely

siddiq seems so scared to admit that he’s Not Okay as if any of these ppl are mentally stable like my dude my man they aren’t going to blame you

back to CAROL, DARYL, AND MICHONNE

mostly caryl tho

bc hot damn

carol needs to maybe not take 7yo caffeine pills (?)

bc sleep aside that’s just a terrible idea

but so hallucinations! except only sorta! and idk what’s real! fun!

we know she actually shot a whisperer so maybe the three she saw in the woods were fr there

i get why michonne was skeptical tho

daryl!! the concern,, the checking in,, uwu

he believes her too i love him

i was straight up so confused at why he was talking abt his dad like he didn’t beat him and merle

i love how she was like “huh this is not normal” and then took more pills ffs

the trap was real, whisperer was real, walkers were real

screaming for daryl was absolutely real my whole HEART

michonne and daryl protecting her i’m soft

daryl could’ve carried her but that’s okay~

siddiq good god don’t scare me them like that damn

THE DREAM THE WHOLE DREAM IM YELLING THE SHDHSJSJD DREAM I HEARD ABOUT THAT SCENE BUT I WASNT SURE IT COULD EVEN BE REAL AND IT WAS I SHDHSJSJH I WAS READY TO EXPLODE

sidenote: that’s like the first time we’ve ever seen money in this show

daryl!! believes!! her!!!!

anD THE LAST SCENE MY PRECIOUS GRIMES FAMILY IM CRYINGHDJDHSH

#twd #season 10 #episode reaction #sadie watches twd #twd spoilers #i know you talk to yourself sometimes

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figureinthedistance · 5 years

Text

lent review

here r the downsides 2 giving up tumblr:

- i gave away a lot less of my money. most of my sharing is on foot of donation posts i see on here + unforch when those opportunities for lending assistance dont fall in my lap i jst dont get around 2 it. this is especially not in the spirit of lent but the answer ofc isnt to use tumblr in the future its to b more proactive abt seeking out ppl in need + offering assistance. its weird tht ive only realized this this year + not the last 2 years. it might b bc i had automatic monthly donations set up from my acc until late 2018 but had 2 stop it.

- i started + am nearly finished fringe... its already my 2nd fav tv show (northern exposure is the eternal #1). i have SO many thoughts i wanted 2 share but no one i kno has watched it + these thoughts are vry spoilerish, so it was actually sort of hard not making posts abt it (i might retroactively share my thoughts but the impulse is less strong than it was mid-watching).

- i think its funny when ppl talk abt tumblr being rlly bad... like i kno it is worthy of criticism in a lot of ways but it works rlly well for me + delivers exactly what i need/expect from it + it was hard not having a place to dump all my rambly angry thoughts

+ here is some thoughts on giving up listening 2 music, which i did fr the first time this year:

- when i told my other christian friends they were rlly confused + surprised + made fun of me for coming across as super puritanical bc it was like i thought music was a vice. like i was a calvinist or sth. this hadnt occured 2 me as an implication it was rlly funny!! for me it was jst bc ive been listening 2 the same music since i was like 15, + it became vry much like a crutch, a routine, + i didnt feel like i was getting enough from listening on repeat to the same album over n over to justify the amount of time i invested in it.

- my plan was that once lent was complete id try 2 listen 2 new music bc im so so bad @ exploring new things (its a real challenge, ive posted abt it before from a trauma perspective). + i sort of have, ive been listening 2 tierra whack, + shes so good! ive also listened to courtney barnetts new stuff + i think ‘everybody here hates you’ is easily in my top 5 of her songs.

- on the FIRST day of lent i found out the national had released their first new song in 2 years the day before!!!! + i listened to it + i loved it altho i loved even more the subsequently released song of theirs, light years.mp3 ....

- i do hope tht it is going to improve my relationship to music, altho im conflicted over that bc i dont think lent shld serve as an opportunity for self improvement, like that shldn’t be its primary justification. it is abt sacrifice etc. but there was certainly an element of that as well lmao

- idk if i’ll make this one of my permanent lent sacrifices. i was @ a stage where it was almost vital + it made a lot of sense for me but i can imagine next year it wouldnt make sense to give up music. i might have 2 bite the bullet + give up tv.

thoughts on lent in general:

- i love it its my fav time of year as always BUT im feeling weirdly conflicted over the idea of continuing my sacrifices outside of lent. idk ik its nonsensical but i feel like its not in the spirit to continue abstaining from sth once easter comes, it makes it feel like its no longer abt lent... idk

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sosa-sketch · 5 years

Text

Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

“Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remy sanders #deceit sanders #LAMP #CALM #platonic lamp #hurt/comfort #family fluff #fluff #logicality #prinxiety

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dailyironwing · 6 years

Note

Is it just me but I was sooo impressed by s2 iron fist. Im asian american, and i totally understood the criticism danny and iron fist faced, but i held out for the show cuz i just loved the characters so much. I think they really came back and killed it with every aspect of the show and responded to every complaint they faced in s1. Like first: the fight scenes were soooooooo fucking fantastic, like i can tell they went 9999999% harder for this season cuz last season's fight scenes were eh (1/?)

(2/?) and like second: the writing was soooooo good like I was continuously drawn in and it never felt dragged or slow (like last season) and the way they balanced the cute/funny casual scenes with the characters with the intense plot-heavy scenes I feel was executed so well. Third: the charcter developement that everyone had was. just. phenomneal. Imma start with colleen cus MY GIRL GOT THE ARC AND DEVELOPEMT SHE DESERVED. like i screamed when she got the fist cuz it was so unexpected but so..

(3/?) it was so unexpected but at the same time so perfect, that i ended up being like duh??? why wouldnt she get it?? which is impressive cuz i feel the defender's and marvel shows have a bit of trouble with being predictable, but with iron fist i was shocked and so satidified. With Danny, my precious golden boi, I was so happy too. The way they handled his character, the white washing, the white savior trope, and his obvious white billionaire priviledge was the biggest hhmmmm for me in S1 ...

(4/?) But the fact that they continuosly pointed out and commented on his privilege, and how they explored the idea that he shouldn't have the fist and and that he had to work to earn it, I felt was SOO important. I love danny, and his sunny kind of child like personlaity is what drew me in, and I hope with S2 ppl can really appreciate him as a complex character that you can leanr from. Like for me personally, i relate to him and his tendency to be emotional and how he handles it, for me it...

(5/?) ... was so comforting to watch and to relate to. PPl gotta stop witht the quick assumption and hate and learn to rlly appreciated stories and characters that dont fit to the perfect mold of what ppl want or think is correct. As for the other characters, I felt the same satisfaction. Davos, although scary and extremist, a part of me cared for him and understood him, and seeing sucha complex antagonist was so refreshing considering the other villains in marvel...

(6/?) also with ward and joy, seeing them part from one another and seeing who they are as individuals was so great to see. I love ward now and his character developlment is sooooo good. also his new relationship with danny makes me cry and evertime he called danny his brother my heart swelled. Also with mary walker, i was a little scared that she would feel out of place in the show, but the way they integrated her storyline I felt was rlly creative, and im rlly excited to see where they go...

(7/?) ... with her character in the future. Overall, the show just felt perfect, which was a releifi cuz personally for me the 2nd seasons for Daredevil, Jessica JOnes, and Luke Cage felt a lil dissappointing. Like I saw the trend with destroyed relationships among the defenders and hated it. Ik colleen and danny arent together for now, but the relationship was nt unneccassarly destroyed, and i still feeels like they'll be canon and that this is just for them to grow as indivifuals.(8/8) Im praying to god w get a s3 cuz th potential for iron fist just fucking tripled in my opinion. With the new first powers, character dynamics, and plot lines, Im sosososososo excited for wats to come. Im just begging that it doesnt get canceled cuz ppl be sleeping on season 2's fantastic comeback from was was admittedly and mediocre season 1.

Hello anon! What can we say, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! We were very satisfied with this season too, possibly in ways we didn’t expect we would. Every character development was very on point and Colleen getting the fist managed to be both surprising and inevitable for reasons that weren’t just in-universe. It’s a brilliant move to give Danny the chance to start from scratch, find himself and earn his powers back knowing full well what it is about and how to use it. At the same time, Colleen gets to be the Asian IF so many people asked for and while I’m baffled at the idea that heroes have to be super-powered I certainly won’t complain if she of all people has a glowing fist of her own. It was very well thought out and I think it made a lot people very happy. I know some thought Danny was undermined in the process but I’ll disagree because it was, after all, his choice.

We agree, Danny is a sunshine puppy who deserves the best. We were never on board with the harsh criticism he’d been getting, but we were always aware that he needed to grow up and we trusted that the writers, whichever he got, would do him justice. And while I’ll concede that he’s privileged and there’s some undertones of white saviourism about him, I also thought he was sometimes unfairly attacked both on and off screen. It’s certainly more convenient to be born rich and powerful, and anyone can call him out on that if they will, but I don’t think anybody has mentioned enough how traumatized, abused and mistreated he has been for 15 years. He is a billionaire, but he’s also a 26-year-old who lost his parents at 10 and lived in terrible conditions ever since, and yet he manages to be kind, decent and hopeful. Harry Potter taught us that it’s ultimately our choices that define us, and I think Danny’s make up for his privilege pretty well. I acknowledge his flaws and faults, but I wish someone would also aknowledge the good in him.

Davos, then. I couldn’t wait for the show to be back to see what he had in mind: my guess is he did what many abused children do, repeating the pattern they themselves lived. There’s also a hint of fanatism to him that I find interesting, it feels very real and sometimes scarily so. Joy’s observations about him were very on point. I still hope he can be redeemed and he and Danny can be friends again, it was a beautiful relationship I wish I’d seen more of.

Ward is a fan fave with very good reason (I liked him with Misty a lot, with Bethany.... not so much) and Joy proved to be an asset for the show this year, I’m very happy with that! Her dynamics with both Mary and Walker were very interesting and I’m glad they’re not over (though Joy probabily isn’t). For the Meachums in particular, but for everyone, this seaso has been about finding purpose. Ward’s arc was possibly the most relatable, but really every character was out there trying to find themselves, which is very important for a show that targets, I assume, younger people than any other Marvel/Netflix does.

Last but not least, we too are optimistic about Ironwing! They did break up, but definitely not in a way that seems impossible to fix, and frankly that’s already more than we were expecting! It’s been a very strong, tight and entertaining season and we can’t wait for more.

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starkissr · 6 years

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idk why

ppl want to be fake friends like i’d rather have real friends or no friends but i don’t get why ??? ppl rly wanna try n be my fake friend like no listen i’m sorry but i can’t be ur friend on the day u feel lonely n a stranger when ur thriving and omg!!!! this one rly just told me my expectations are too high bc get this! i asked her to consider me like o ok lol so you’re rly telling me in ur twisted idea of a friend I’m not allowed to expect u to care abt me like isn’t that only the literal definition of a friend my mistake??? bc i totally get having no expectations of ppl and all that but at the end of the day when ur then best friend decides to ignore ur existence then come back into ur life whenever they feel like it? like my problem isn’t that ur trying to come back into my life i’m open to whatever ok but when u can’t have consistent intentions to be a good friend u auto = fake aka nobody ???? i GET that ppl mess up obv i’m not perfect either but it’s just admitting that and actually understanding where u went wrong n at least making an honest effort of not doing it again that is SO CRUCIAL

wow wow wojeofiae and like it’s just soooo funny when ur pride is the fucking reason we’re not friends??? like if ur ego is what’s holding u back i rly don’t need someone so easily swayed by that bs in my life? so no i’m not gonna try or give a fuck abt u if ur idea of a friend is not aligned w mine like and if it isn’t that’s fine we don’t have to be friends uk but like idk it sucks tbh bc i’ve been sooo transparent abt how ur lack of words/actions hurt me so bad so u literally know but don’t do anything w this knowledge??? n still wanna try and talk to me like we’re friends after?? fuck no

it’s sad that 2 of my absolute best friends did this to me in diff ways but like this is the underlying pattern n it just hurts so bad when the person ur the closest to in the world and has learned the most abt u and has been thru sooo many ups and downs just one day decides that ur not important to them anymore uk??? like and when they come back later bc of c that’s what they always fucking do! they expect it to be like the old days and make u feel like ur fucking crazy for being hurt when they literally just left u in the dark. it was so painful to grieve thru that period without u bc i had to feel what it was like when u turned ur back on me and yes it was v fucking cold bc when i was ur friend it was all sunny days n that was a stark contrast but

also these past few days rly just make me wanna ask u why tf are u so fucking bipolar and a passive aggressive cunt to me one second and talking to me in ur bubbly tone like im ur friend legitimately 2 seconds later bc oh u just remembered u can use me for this thing or that??? i’ve literally never met an angrier or immature person? like ok obv i’m just off one on this rant so i’m gonna explain just how this girl tried me today! so she’s my roommate n keep in mind like i have told her explicitly my problem w her is that she hurt me when she didn’t communicate w me n went mia like i said this multiple times so no guess work needed n anyway today i was playing music in our room and guess what this girl does!!! puts her music on louder than mine! at first i was like?????????????? literally what? LIKE DID U RLY!!!!!!!!! JUST DO THAT LOL it was rly too much for u to tell me u wanted to play ur music???? i was honestly amazed and was like ok like obv this just sounds like shit at this pt n tbh all i wanted to do was just ask u why u felt that u didn’t want to tell me u wanted to play ur music? but then i checked myself and remembered ur words that i am expecting too much of u when i ask why u don’t care to communicate certain things so i guess it’s too much to ask u this too so like what now? n i just turned my music off after this internal resolution that u literally told me i can’t expect anything from u aka i can’t ever expect u to show up for me so like who is someone to u that is there one day and not the next?? like a relationship needs a degree of stable commitment and if i can never count on u why would i want to waste my time waiting on u to fuck up / my breath for calling u my friend?

the ppl i’m lucky enough to call my friends are ppl that i’m inspired by and i’m not saying ur an ugly person like obv u have parts of u that are so beautiful and that’s who i saw in u before but like if u keep showing me how ugly u can be don’t blame me if u singlehandedly broke my trust in u ??? AND ANYWAY LOL if ur reading this still the CHERRY on top of it all and what actually got me fucking mad is this !!!! girl!!!! asked me for a bandaid a breath after i turned my music off. like. o. ... .m. . . m. g. i just honestly couldn’t believe it n w her cheery ass tone like this is what i’m talking abt how u only matter to them when they need u!!! i was debating asking her abt the music thing now that she decided i was worth speaking to but literally it just wasn’t worth it to hear another one of ur excuses??? i would’ve loved to see what u would’ve twisted out of that situation tbh but i was also like ok like i don’t wanna help u bc ur a cunt but then i was like uk what! she wins if i’m a bitter person bc of her by telling her no so i let her have my stupid bandaid but talk to me like we’re friends one more time and i swear to fucking god !!!!! i won’t be so silent

n my friends are like r u gonna be friends w her after n i’m like ? what friend treats a friend like this ????????? like real q? this is not a friend. why would i say yeah i’ll be friends w her just to make her happy? no bitch my one requirement to be my friend is to act like a fucking friend and if u tell me that’s expecting too much of u like ok but u have to understand! this is my definition of a friend i can’t be ur friend then ! stop half ass trying!!!!!! either leave me tf alone or the moment u choose to decide (and actually act like) u wanna be real to me is when i consider u my friend again uk!! i’m not gonna hold ur shit over ur head but idk i feel like it’s bc they think that i will that they don’t try or honestly i don’t know their reason why but all i do know is there’s a blatant discrepancy between their words and their actions. for both of them but like the one who did this to me first even apologized to me and like i honestly rly appreciated that like it was only! a year and a half late lol but still i was happy but then they went ahead and did them and i haven’t heard of them since! like ok COOL so u just wanted to say we’re friends then go away again like that’s what i’m saying i don’t get it why do ppl want to be fake friends? what’s the pt????????? wow ok these are just the questions that i’m asking myself rn it like tears me apart that the ppl who know me best can’t bother to act like my friend when they wanna still have the perks of calling me a friend ! literally if any of them were to hit me up and put an attempt that lasts o idk beyond a single day to be my friend then i’m down i’m there but don’t fucking tell me i have high expectations for thinking ur my friend yeah obv i’m rly frustrated at everyone for complicating everything like clearly i care so much abt these ppl and that’s why i’m hell bent on trying to make myself feel ok for not taking them back bc as much as i love them i have self respect and literally it would just become an emotionally abusive relationship if i try to engage in a friendship where the friend would just let me down every day like i already have my own shit i’m dealing w why tf would i want to put myself thru unnecessary pain?

like everyone knows when ur being genuine or not. the recent one gave me a fake apology and it was so clear it was fake and last night she even admitted that it was n that she doesn’t think she needs to apologize and like i’m just like ......... so let’s just say i forgot that u can’t stick to ur word ok.... did u rly just have to remind me again?! this is what i’m talking abt it’s just painful and i can’t be ur friend if u can’t be real w me ok that’s all if anyone wants to be a human w me say hi like i rly don’t think anyone reads this so i was gonna delete my tumblr so long ago bc like whats the pt if no one sees u but then i realized how fucking cool that is and how liberating it is to just like put ur thoughts out into the interweb like journal writing is cool n all but on the off chance someone other than me does happen to see this then hi ur only looking at my deepest thoughts so i might as well know who u r lol but like if not (prob) then that’s ok i’ll just lol at myself when i reread this later! as stressful as this is like omg i’m graduating next week and i won’t have these kinda petty problems anymore and like that’s cool when that happens but idk i’m just not ready to grad f m u so ik as like annoying as this is and as stressed as i am abt my classes and assignments and finals and the future i’m eternally grateful for my education n like that’s why i don’t wanna leave! it’s the little things like tn i was at a coffee shop studying w friends n in the car ride back me n one of them were talking abt that one cute barista like he doesn’t matter but having someone to just say whatever the fuck u want w n confide in! it’s these little pleasures that i just love so much!!! n like i didn’t even notice but my friend brought to my attn like how he was acting kinda dumbstruck when he was talking to us n i was like lol fuck ur right that’s fucking hilarious n i had a new thing to laugh abt that i wouldn’t have if i had experienced it alone uk! like talking is literally what allows a relationship to flourish so w these 2 ppl where they just don’t communicate w me like that sounds like such a small flaw but the reason why it’s such a problem is that it literally stunts the friendships growth! how can we connect and etc if u can’t share what’s rly going on w me??????? or like why do u feel u don’t need to talk abt the truth?????? but ya as i was saying lol it’s ok i’ll just have to grind until i can get into my next school (hopefully, someone take me pls lol sos) but ya idk i suffer a lot during school but tbh it’s my fav ever so i’m so sad i’m graduating!!!!!! but like the only thing that’s making it ok is bc all of us are saying the same thing and it’s comforting that even tho we all dk what the fuck is going on i’m not the only one

so mostly sad bc i’m gonna miss my real friends here soooooooo much like w all my heart omg nothing will be the same again and i’m not ready! i’ll miss being seconds away and the fact that i can go over or call them like hoe get ready bc we’re going to the beach that’s down the street!!!! at my parents place the beach is half an hour away and i was in love but u had to drive like an extra 15-30 min to get to even nicer beaches n bruh let me tell u i rly did myself right by going to a school an actual 5 seconds away from the beach and granted besides us students it’s a rich white conservative person area but still it’s in a cute n clean area?? omg like this is just as good as it gets uk??? so ya blessed to be stressed

!?!?@#

#mind

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survivorsunsetrodeo · 3 years

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Ep 9 | I’d Rather Make Moves When I Need To - Emma

Okay, I am so sad Brandi is gone, but at the same time, it's not the worst thing for my game. The good part of it is that we tried to make a move on Emma, we flushed an idol, and we weren't detected. I think this twist is actually super helpful in these moments because if you try something, and it fails, no one knows unless it gets leaked.

Another good thing is that Taylor's closest ally is now gone. I know that Taylor is super close with Ari, which is good, but I also want her to be super close with me. Not just for strategy reasons. She's also super cool and I like talking to her! Apparently she did tell JABARI of all people the vote was on Emma, so no wonder they knew how to idol tonight lmao.

Idk I feel pretty okay about my position in the game playing the middle rn I just need to not spread myself too thin and keep the targets in front of me.

Soooo Tribal went off without a single hitch. brandi went home despite playing both of her advantages and Jacob wasn’t even near getting voted out. The main clownery of the night happened right after tribal. Ali started going on about how he felt like Brandi didn’t deserve to go home, when there were people currently in the game who didn’t care. If you think she deserved to stay, maybe you should’ve given her your immunity? Or better yet, volunteered to go home? And while we’re on the topic of who cares, haven’t you either flopped in or just not submitted in multiple challenges? Since I was still on the tribal call, I asked him who he was talking about, even though I kind of had a good idea of who it was already. He said Emma. and since Emma wasn’t there, we are aligned, and I know she was going through some things, I felt the need to stick up for her. I found it pretty disrespectful that Ali would say that so it did make me a bit mad. I of course alerted Emma right after it happened because I feel like she deserve to know, and she confronted Ali about it in the call after tribal. I’m sure everyone knows Emma and I are working together now, but I couldn’t let her be dragged through the mud like that. I’m really worried Ali and Taylor, who I know are aligned, will try to target me now. I understand where Ali was coming from though. I’m also a person who is driven by my emotions and I tend to say stuff without thinking about it first.

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WELL all things considered that vote went pretty alright! i didn't manage to mist emma into using an idol for jacob so they could get blindsided, but other than that, things worked out pretty much how i hoped. jacob was saved, an idol (and lots of money) was flushed, and i can plausibly tell both sides that i voted with them even tho actually i voted ali for insurance purposes >:~) also we got major info about the location of the other idol when brandi didn't play it and it didn't go back into the shop, i.e. jabari MUST have it because there's no other possible place it could be. i know none of my people have it, and nic was so convinced that me/jacob did that i have to believe none of that group have it either, which leaves little old jabari who's been asking soooo many questions about everyone's funds and where items could possibly be. color me a little shocked but honestly kudos to her! now she gets to stay alive another round since that gun is an idol again.

other shop updates are that taylor's gonna buy something next round and so is dan probably, which will be great for getting them out of other people's hands and knowing for sure where they are. i can't believe i own shares in 2 of the 3 items currently in the game, how cute of me honestly. everyone else is now broke so that's delightful, i prob should've extorted myself for even more money so they'd think i was fully broke too but ah well what can you do.

i am a little worried about how ali's antics last night could potentially reflect back on me this round but i think i've done a pretty good job of covering my tracks there - i talked to both nic and emma immediately after and was like yeah i don't condone that behavior, and josh knows i wanted ali out over jacob because i got him to throw a vote that way with me, and obviously none of taylor/dan/jacob are gonna let me get targeted for that either sooooo i think i'm all good. once again, jabari is a wild card but i think i trust her a little more after my call with her yesterday and i don't think she would have the pull to do anything anyway.

so at last i can have a day of peaceful rest while i await these awful touchy subjects results! me taylor and ali are making a music video so that'll keep me busy for a while. overall feeling very grateful and blessed to not be stressed at this current moment in time!!!

Not mr ali making me regret voting off brandi out should of been ali oh well no point in voting him out now tbh that would be a waste things i think are slowly getting better for me i am talking to jacob and ari more idk how to approach taylor because ik we on different sides but ik we may or may not need eachother soon i feel so bad about brandi she was probably the nicest person here i said this about megs but brandi for second chances.. Yeah i just need to think of something that will seperate my gameplay from josh and nic if im stuck with them eventually that means i could get myself voted off its hard to like make moves rn but i rather make moves when i need to make moves.

also maybe ali should of put his immunity on brandi and not ari >:)

i also hope i break the record for most wasted idols im coming for that record im also so nervous about the future of the game i dont wanna just follow ppl around but like i kinda fucked myself over due to reasons out of my control oop

I just sent my nightly hellos to people and that’s already too much social interaction for me

I’m already fricken paranoid about this round and we haven’t even gotten immunity results ugh. I think it’s because I know I flipped that mastermind comp. like I really could have done much better than I did.

Additionally everyone was so quiet today so I’m just assuming everyone hates me and wants me to die.

am i playing a good utr game or do people just forget i exist? i've got a lot of good (but conflicting) info from Dan and Taylor and I want to sit down and compare notes with Ari BUT WHERE ARE THEY you can't expect me to remember all this by tomorrow. I feel like I have somewhat of a good relationship with everyone aside from Ali and Jabari and I feel like I've gotten a few info that I find personally relevant moving forward but I need someone to compare this with. I think I'm playing a much more smarter game than before.

[Tumblr Survivor Riau reference] I feel like I was in a position like this before where I had the opportunity to play a good game being in the middle but fucked it up and sent one of my allies home because I was vetoed by my actual alliance [end Tumblr Survivor reference] so I'm doing the same thing this time around but keeping my sources a secret. The only person I am 100% honest is Ari and I hope it's mutual. I obviously can't take Ari with me to FTC but what I need the most are honest opinions and legit information and i think both of us are providing just that with each other.

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ali needs to stop saying dumb shit to nic because it ALWAYS gets back to dan and i have to be like "omg lol im sure he didnt mean that" while running to ali and being like "hushhhhhh"

anyway i think the best thing i can do today is sit back and let everyone else tire themselves out scrambling and stressing!! it'll all resolve itself eventually and if it doesnt then oh well

I wasn't going to be making a confessional because I didn't wanna get an OTTN5 edit and also I felt like it was obvious I was going home and I had nothing to really say. There is a tiny bit of hope now, and it lies with Jabari and Dan. If everyone is telling me the truth, I will be staying. And if I do, I'd love to create a 5-person majority alliance with me, Dan, Jabari, Emma, and Josh. It'd honestly be perfect. I really like them all and am comfortable with them all.

If I go home, I wont be mad or anything, I'll just be sad that I didn't really come across the way I had hoped to in this ORG. I feel like a lot of things didn't come across correctly, and a lot of things were just pinned on me that were outside of my control.

Oh well. Let me remain positive. This is me being positive :] (Also I'm forever thankful for having Josh and Emma as allies without them I would've gone crazy by now. Thank you for everything you do.)

Power Rankings: ONE - DAN (+2) Threat: 8 (+2) Trust: 8 (+3) Dan’s at the top of the rankings this week because he’s in the position that I wish I were in. Despite losing Brandi, who was Dan’s #1 idled out by the minority alliance, he still was approached by the minority to vote with them. He knows each plan and he can decide whether he wants to flip or not. He decides who goes home this round. TWO - ARI (-1) Threat: 10 (+1) Trust: 9 (+1) Ari ranks #2 because they know everything that’s going on and they know it first. They’re the first to hear about any messiness or change to a plan. They aren’t included in it necessarily, but they hear about it. Ari’s threat level though is through the roof and hiding behind them as a meat shield is going to be key for my game. They should want to take a shot at Ari before me, and I plan to keep it that way. THREE - TAYLOR (-1) Threat: 7 (NC) Im starting to lose grasp and hold on my power as more of my allies leave. If the minority perception and gameplay wasn’t so awful I would have a lot more control over what goes on this round. Its just bad survivor gameplay to assume someone would never work with you because you voted their allies out. Because what they fail to see is that regardless of if im included in their plans or not, I still find out. I had 3 different people approach me that me name was out as I woke up at 9am this morning. It shows I have control, I just wish they’d include me so I had the power to deal with it rather than relying on others. FOUR - JABARI (+3) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 2 (-2) Jabari is here because she seems to want to give the minority.a chance. I don’t really understand her logic because regardless she’s at the bottom of an alliance. The one round where the majority wanted to count on her to prove she’s with us, she jumps. And she doesn’t even know that she’s completely fucking her game because of it. On top of that every suspects she has an idol. She only ranks 4 because of the information she is receiving, but she’s no threat because her gameplay is poor and everyone believes the rumour of her having an idol. FIVE - JACOB (+1) Threat: 7 (+1) Trust: 8 (NC) Jacob does know what each side is going to do, but unfortunately hes always the last to find out. Im not sure if its because of how late he sleeps in, or if hes everyones last resort but either way it’s not good for his power ranking. Jacob’s smart, hes going to be seen as an immunity threat sooner rather than later. SIX - NIC (+3) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 0 (NC) Nic is in 6th because hes the only one trying to steer a vote on the other side. He isn’t doing it successfully, but hes trying. If only he could put as much effort into challenges and he would trying to get people to save him. I dont trust him at all, he threw my name out. He has a little influence over Jabari, but that’s not too big of a success. SEVEN - ALI (-2)  Threat: 1 (-2) Trust: 9 (-1) Ali unfortunately just doesn’t have the power he needs to get himself out of situations like he is in this round. When the name was between Ali and I it should have easily landed on me. But Ali doesn’t have the social capital that I do, which is why I had multiple people tell that side “lets do Ali over Taylor”. Not to mention Ali made a hugeeee mistake buying the dress for literally no reason. But I trust him I guess? EIGHT - JOSH (NC) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 5 (+2) Im starting to see a little fire with josh come out this round and im happy. Hes not willing to do anything about it, but the gears are turning in his head. I think our relationship will be important down the line but as of now he has no power and just follows everything Nic says. NINE - EMMA (NC) Threat: 0 (NC) Trust: 0 (NC) I literally don’t have anything to say about Emma. She doesn’t talk, doesn’t do the challenge, doesn’t care. Not worth my time.

I feel like im not winning this game unless if nic goes and josh goes right after idk im feeling a bit bad how im playing i was planning to go balls to the wall but like i find it really hard to do that when i am a known goat for something i could not control i try hard to change what people to see but idk how to do it anymore im totally not gonna stab josh and nic in the back at this point i just cant write their names down.

This vote is for all of the victims of the people that nic has voted off, nic is going home I know of it. All he's been doing has been working against me and for that ciao Bella

GOD. What a day. I was pulled back and forth about this vote by both sides and this vote.

Ari/Jacob/Ali/Taylor want me to vote Nic Jabari/Nic/Josh/Emma want me to vote Ali

Neither option is ✨great✨ for my game. But we can’t vote out Jabari for personal reasons so here we are.

I’m worried about idols and such, but at the end of the day, I can’t get too in my head. If the idol comes out as long as they don’t end up voting for me instead of Ali... we’re good!

I’m voting for Nic because I don’t fuck with people who try to make you feel like you’re gonna lose if you don’t roll with them. Even on OG Pearl he didn’t take a ton of time to get to know me and even now all he wants to do is talk game. In comparison, TSL has known me two rounds and I know so much about her.

Obviously voting out ANOTHER OG Pearl probably isn’t wise, but at the end of the day, New Pearl and OG Beeho seem to be the people I bond with the most and trust the most. And I might be dumb, but I am enjoying their company and would be proud losing to any of them.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

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theridge-rp · 4 years

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Izzy! We found your take on Salix very refreshing and can’t wait to see what you do with our lovable trickster! Please follow the steps on the acceptance checklist and welcome to The Ridge!

O U T O F C H A R A C T E R -

Name/Alias: izzy

Age: 22

Preferred Pronouns: he/him

Timezone: est

Triggers: ed talk/disordered eating mentions + sexual assault mentions/talk

How did you find us: through the skeleton rp tag ! i was browsing and found y’all !!

Please describe your activity: with quarantine i have nothing but time. i try to be on at least once a day so i don’t get behind on replies !

Anything else you need us to know:

D E T A I L S -

Character: salix willowbark

What drew you to this character: i usually tend to play very meek characters but something about salix’s ‘fuck everything im just gonna do me bc rules are oppressive in any regard no matter who is in charge’ attitude really just connects to how i actually feel normally in the world. obviously i don’t thieve ( for legal reasons of course ) but that constant need to mess with people, especially people who are all about politics, is something i have so much muse for. i can just see salix now always coming in extremely late to the council meetings on purpose just so he can make as loud as an entrance as he can even though he knows he literally has no value to them really, its just fun to watch them snap their heads expecting someone important but nope, its salix slamming the doors again. he’s that type of guy who is always around but you never see him leave or arrive anywhere, he’s just there and then gone along with your wallet if you’re lucky. salix would call himself an enigma but he’s just really good at sneaking in and out of places ( i wonder why huh? ). authority means absolutely nothing to him, anyone who tries to police him just gets greeted with nonstop laughter because he can’t even take them seriously and he was quite slippery, too hard to grab and arrest. salix has no schedule and he doesn’t make plans. if he gets invited to a party the times are optional so he shows up when he wants to or doesn’t. he’s a very fickle individual who likes to seek out adventure without falsifying with prior intentions. he’s a purest when it comes to adventures and nature, both should always be presented to you not picked by you.

Faceclaims ( Please list at least two ): hero fiennes-tiffin & seo kang joon

ik they’re very different objectively looks wise but honestly when it comes to vibes they’re very similar. the reason i picked up hero & kangjoon was because they both kind of radiate this smugness while also being extremely charming looking. both are very attractive men who just have that look, that severe beauty that is just approachable enough with his charismatic personality. he’s definitely the type of guy to know people think he’s hot and doesn’t like to show that he likes it but he secretly loves it especially coming from people he’s tricked so both of these face claims to me just scream that type of energy. smug but not arrogant, attractive but not too attractive to where you can’t talk to him, just charismatic enough that you look past any red flags because that smile is just too genuine looking to be coming from a trickster, right?

I N C H A R A C T E R -

Please list at least two headcanons for your character:

1. it is not uncommon for salix to disappear in the woods for a couple days only to come back to the ridge with no explanation. no one knows where he goes or why but sometimes he just needs peace and quiet from the constant reminders that their societies were close to a war. it’s like his own little meditative retreat.

2. salix likes to pretend he’s a human sometimes by covering his ears with a hat or scarf while going out on the town to see who he can fool and mess with. it’s very amusing to him and he’s learned humans are kinda dumb but then again so are all of the other races to him as well so it wasn’t a huge surprise. 3. salix is the type of guy who doesn’t believe in settling down and not in a ‘no one will ever love me so im too afraid to try’ way. the entire concept of a relationship just seems archaic to him and the amount of work that goes into that is too much work for him so he just puts it out into the universe that he is single but not looking to settle down.

4. salix’s charm is really easy to fall under because he’s an attractive sweet talker who knows how to work a person based on body language alone so he’s really not to be messed with. he is 80% non-violent and honestly mostly neutral when it comes to almost every topic because he could care less but that 20% left over is from situations where someone forces his hand to be used. he doesn’t use force unless someone is really bothering the shit out of him and that’s a hard feat to do since he’s such a fucker its hard to fuck with him back.

5. salix is constantly barefoot and prefers to never wear shoes but he is known to make the exception for special occasions ( but not always ! ). he doesn’t tell people his reasoning mostly because he doesn’t really want their input on what he does with his life because its his life but its simple, he feels more connected to the earth without shoes. shoes to him rob every species of the true experience of nature.

6. it is no secret that salix likes to use the five finger discount a lot but what people don’t know is that the stuff he steals that isnt for profit ( stuff he cant resell or barter with that he steals ) he always keeps. his home is just full of random shit everywhere in piles and there is absolutely no organization in his home but he doesn’t care, the chaos calms him because all those stolen things are his now, his little trinkets and random stolen things that he likes to just look at when he is home. ( which isnt super often, he likes to go out and not come home for a few days )

Please include a list of potential plots for your character:

1. i can’t stop thinking of salix annoying the hell out the council members just for shits and giggles. so i can just imagine him showing up somewhere a council member is and just acting like a moron until they leave. 2. anything to do with him stealing/pick-pocketing + messing w/ppl and running into the ‘law’ and just having to try to keep a straight face when he’s being questioned because he doesn’t take any authority seriously. i’d love to see how an angel responds to his ‘charm’ 3. i’d also love to delve into his neutrality, like how deep does it go and how far do his morals go with it ? he isn’t a true neutral but he’s close so to really go in-depth with his character to see what kind of person he turns out to be in the end of this, still neutral or will he bend and choose a side?

Please include an in-character sample. This can be as long as you’d like with a minimum of 400 words:

[Retained]

#theridgeadmin #lsrp #town rp #original rp #skeletonrp

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crimsonvalet · 7 years

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hi katie i just started college & was hoping you could give me some advice on how you met ppl like your friends/girlfriend and how you were able to interact w your roommates / if you one, etc !! i hope you're doing good and ps i really love your curly hair

awww omg hey! congrats and good luck btw!

well the best part about starting in the fall is that so is literally more than a quarter of the school is also starting fresh, so a lot of people are looking for friends. just keep your dorm room open, say hi to people, offer to help people if they look like the need it (moving in day can be hectic) and dont hesitate to chat to people in your classes. honestly it’ll come naturally because so many people will also be in the same boat wanting to make connections. just really try to remain open and warm and friendly :)

i met my first girlfriend at the first meeting of the lgbtqia club mixer, which a lotttttt of people went to. even if you dont want to become a regular member of the club, try going to the first few meetings just to see if you click with anyone! i know a lot of people just go to make some fellow queer friends and check out the dating scene.

also that being said look out for events, my school had a tonnnn and even the silly events can be fun if u go in thinking youll have a good time (i loved going to bingo a lot haha) . tbh the earlier in the year you go to clubs/activities the easier itll be to meet people because those earlier meetings are where a lot of people havent really made a ton of friends/friend groups yet themselves.

having a roommate is a grab bag…. i’ve had two random ones and one was super sweet and one of them it didnt go great. my advice is almost try to keep your relationship kinda professional? the one i had a better relationship with was someone who i was friendly with but not “bffs” with, we both respected each others space and were nice but kept a friendly distance. the one i had issues with was when we tried to become super close immediately but when it didnt work out it was super awkward because we were still living with each other but had some passive-aggressive vibes. tbh it was both of us it was just a bad vibe to have. currently i live with a good friend of mine as a roommate, the same one i did last fall (spring i was in tokyo in a suit but with my own room)

i think the key to roommates is just be honest. don’t pretend to be ok with things your not, be clear, and communication is key. just be straight-forward and friendly :D also dont spend all your time in your room, it’ll cut you off socially and annoy your roomie if they dont have any time to themselves either. also be sure to set expectations for guest/sleepovers early.

also you’re gonna meet a lot of new people, dont do shit you’re not 100% comfortable with. its corny but like peer pressure is stupid and freshman year i did some dumb shit because the people i was friends with at first were a different crowd than i was used to. just be smart haha

also this is a fresh start so if you’ve ever wanted to go by a different nickname, pick up a new style etc now is that time! who you introduce yourself as is who these people will know, it was weird for me not to be surrounded with classmates ive known since i was 5, so in an odd way you have a lot more control over your self image. if there were ever any changes you were debating now is a really good time to maybe try that out :)

also dont skip class too much haha. do ur homework, take time to study and just try to get involved in as many things as possible your first few weeks. you can always drop it! but ive found its soooo much easier to get involved if you start early, the more you try to more likely you are to make friends u really click with and have a good time

also (im totally guilty of this) if you get a new bf/gf/partner at the start of the school year dont let the honeymoon phase kinda take up so much of your time, because you only start college once and friends are really critical. after we broke up i realized i kinda missed that golden window because i was so involved in my relationship in the start. dating is lovely!! but it college make sure u also join a lot of ur own clubs, make your own friends, and do separate things at the start :)

try shit you don’t think is up your alley, literally now is the time for experimentation in every way. also personally, i suggest taking a new language class as early as possible, learn that while its free as part of your tuition haha. it’ll really come in handy later in life. the earlier u start the more advanced you’ll be by the time u graduate! it looks great on a resume and its awesome for travel. plus if your school has exchange students or conversation tables its sooooo fun.

i hope you have so so much fun this year! good luck, feel free to message if u have any more questions. ik i wrote so much haha hope u dont mind

#also ty for the hair compliment!#Anonymous

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