#i can understand why she thinks that + i cant control what she believes. but it did bother me a lot + some trust has been lost there. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bangchansgirlsblog · 4 months

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Keeping up with the Bhangs

This is a one shot from the little series. Read it if you would like it’s on my master list :))

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Bangchan x reader

Summary: Being a mum is hard when you have to constantly play good cop, bad cop.

"Chan?" She called for her husband. "Chan come look at what your daughter did!" Y/n called again. The sight infront of her was painful. Her little girl was stood in the middle of the room looking so innocent but she had created a huge train wreck around her. She couldn’t believe it.

She tried to keep her cool, she really did but she couldn’t. She heard the quiet footsteps making their way up towards their daughters room. Her anger was being tested and she felt like she was about to blow.

"What is it Y/n? I have a really important-" he paused when he looked up from his phone as he stared at the sight in front of him. "What the hell?" He let out a gasp.

The room was a mess. There was paint everywhere and crayons all over the wall. The collections of toys chan had gotten Soo-min where spread all over the place and her clothers (Soo-min) was covered in dirt, paint and crayons as she stood there looking innocent with the crayon in her hand.

"Chan look what your daughter did!" Y/n raised her voice a little causing Soo-min to jump. She took little steps quickly to hide behind her father who was now standing fully in the room. It had been obvious she was scolded before this because her little hands were shaking and her lips were quivering.

Chans eyes soften as he loosened the tie that wrapped around his neck and unbuttoned his shirt. He was determined to keep his wife calm and fix whatever was going on. If he had time of course.

"Hey, Y/n calm down. Don’t stress out baby. Its okay," He picked up his little girl with one hand trying to remove the paint of her face. Her eyes on the verge of tears as she pouted. "We can just get the cleaners to clean it-"

Chan being calm about the whole situation pissed of Y/n to the fullest because why was he so put together? Why was he such a good calm dad.

"Chan! you dont get it! this is not okay, she constantly disobeys, this is a huge mess! i left her for only a few minutes!" Y/n groaned frustrated as she threw the cups she had collected from the ground into a basket.

"Y/n, its fine. She's a baby-" the glare Y/n gave him instantly made him shut up and look at his little girl that was basically holding onto his shirt for dear life.

"M' sorry," Soo-min chocked on her sobs as tears started to spill and she Sniffed. She didn’t understand why her mum was being so scary. She only wanted to draw to make her happy cause she knew how sad she had been.

Chans heart melted at her little pout.

"Its okay mama, no need to cry. Daddy's got you," Chan wiped the tears from her cheeks and grabbed the crayon and paint brush from her tiny little hands. "Y/n look what you've done, now she's crying."

"Chan you cant honestly think this is okay-" Y/n was buffled. Chan didn't think this was okay, did he?

"she's a kid! kids make mistakes, she's still learning. You don't scold her, you teach her," His voice was now loud aswell. He was getting frustrated. He didnt want his children growing up in a toxic enviroment where they get yelled at or abused. That was his worst nightmare.

“Then fine! You raise them if ur such a good teacher,”

“I don’t have time for this Y/n I have a big meeting coming-“

“Of course you fucking do, why don’t you just move into your office and abandon your kids and pregnant wife!”

Her blood was boiling. It was like she was getting everything off her chest and she needed it.

“Y/n that’s enough. Your acting like a child in front of her!” Chan growled. “You can’t even control this situation without calling and crying for me,” his chest was moving up and down as he was huffing. Trying so hard to control himself but he was stressed and tired and it was like she wanted to pick a fight every chance she got.

"Chan! why do you always have to be good cop. Why cant you see this is wrong? Stop being a bad parent and-'

"Bad parent?" He scoffs and looked up at her buffled, "I'm the bad parent? just cause you were abused when you were younger doesn't mean you have to put your trauma on my children..." His eyes go wide. He didn't mean it. He was just angry. He didn't mean any of it.

The tension in the air wise thick. The shocked gasp that left her mouth was painful. Her head started to spin. Her eyes turning red as her body started to overheat. The emotions she felt were overwhelming. A panic attack was coming on. Her eyes landed on her daughter, the little girl was covering her ears trying to cover her face in her fathers chest. Was she a monster?

"Papa? no fighting," The little girl squealed as she still continued to cover her ears. This made Y/n's heart break. was it true? was she becoming her toxic mother.

"It's okay mama," He comforted her shivering body, "I-Im going to get her changed so i can go back to my meeting. I'll tell the maids to come clean up," he so badly wanted to hold his wife and apologize but with the way she stood in one place he knew he couldn't have the conversation, well not right now.

The door closed behind him as her little girls sniffles slowly faded in the distance. Y/n was in shock. Her brain was taking long to react. Her hands were cold and all of a sudden she couldnt hear anything around her.

Was she the problem? Was she being hard on the kids? she never yelled at any of them unless they did something horrible, she never intended for the father of her kids to call her toxic. To embarrass her like that.

It was too much, she was done playing tough guy. she was tired of the constant fight of depression. She was tired of her husband degrading her as she stayed home while he was out all night partying doing God knows what.

She wanted her life back. she wanted to be fun again. She didnt want to be tired all the time. She was tired of being pregnant.

Her face felt wet. Her hands automatically covering her eyes. Heart wrenching sobs leaving her body as she placed a hand on her belly. The doubt of being a mother was creeping back up. The sudden urge to run away and dissapear haunted her conscious. Truth is she was tired of the fake smiles and the big parties and important business people.

Yes, she loved the big house her husband built for them, she loved the grand cars and the golden credit cards but she wanted to feel again. She wanted to be loved again. By her husband. She wanted to be a teenager again, falling in love and being young and free.

She laid on the called floor. Her arms supporting the heavy bump she was carrying. The tiled sending shivers down her spine. The tears still spilling from her eyes until eventually she grew tired and fell asleep.

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n0-eyedtaissa · 9 months

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thinking about how taissa’s best friend is clearly shauna, who’s best friend is jackie. it’s one of the subtle, more relatable cruelties shown on yellowjackets: the thin line between competition and alienation that comes with three-girl friendships. in every three-girl friendship, there are the two girls who walk side by side on the sidewalk, then there's the girl who's a few steps behind them. one’s always the leader, one’s the follower, one’s always the scapegoat. “jackie’s not gonna like it…” “well then we probably shouldn't tell her". shauna goes along with the plan, yet condems taissa as soon as the Allie Thing goes awry.

girl #3 defends #2 from the 'best friend' that overshadows her, but now that she's not the furthest in the shadows, girl #2 finally has someone to be cruel to. “i admire your resilience, tai. cant be easy knowing you fucking crippled someone today” when the traits that made jackie powerful at home aid in her resistance to the wilderness, shauna leans into the qualities that taissa has that are useful now but previously lead to the general understanding that she’s (to quote akilah here) “not THAT much of a bitch”: her directness, her decisiveness, the way she snaps to action and can take control.

girl #3 relishes in the power because she knows it’s slipping from girl #1. “thanks for having my back during the vote” “i didn’t have you back it was just what i thought…” taissa knows this. its what shauna thought herself, not what she mindlessly agreed to because of jackie’s influence. girl #2 and girl #3 bond over #1’s shortcomings. taissa and shauna get upset with jackie for not pitching in, for attempting to raid Dead Cabin Guy’s pantry for food and for how she recoils at shauna’s attempts to teach her how to butcher the deer.

when the girls have their seance, jackie wants to deny that they had any responsibility in conjuring the darkness: she called for it and shauna was the conduit, so she feels that guilt for the both of them and chooses to appease the darkness by not letting taissa be alone in the attic that night.

that moment jumpstarts the brewing rift between jackie and shauna, because it shows how shauna can and will choose somebody else over jackie. “what’re you doing?” “i was just gonna keep you company, if that’s okay…” it’s here when taissa revealed that she knew shauna was pregnant (because girl #3 is never in the spotlight so she pays extra close attention to those around her). when taissa finds out that not only is shauna pregnant, but she’s pregnant with her best friend’s boyfriend’s baby, she reserves her judgment because she knows that for shauna, that same fear of judgment is why she would rather die in the wilderness than tell jackie how and why she slept with her boyfriend.

when taissa figures out that shauna is trying to terminate her pregnancy (because katie lindstrom did it with the underwire of her bra last year), taissa tears through the woods trying to find her so that shauna wouldn't have to do something so risky by herself. “you’re not gonna do this alone, okay? i’m gonna help you, if you let me”. she realizes that she’s Not Jackie, she's not girl #1 with her power and her influence. she’s not who shauna would normally turn to...and that's the whole point.

girl #1 always panics when her second-in-command starts attracting more attention to herself: jackie can feel the space between herself and shauna growing larger and she knows that tai has been filling that space... the Best Friend space. but despite what shauna seems to think, jackie knows her too and can recognize the lies that even shauna herself believes. jackie knows that things aren't normal and nothing about what they're going through is remotely okay.

"i see you sneaking around and whispering with taissa, not to mention you acting all distant and weird for weeks." jackie isnt concerned with the fact that they survive a plane crash, or that she and her team are starving, all she's worried about is shauna. when jackie asks "when did you stop wanting me to be your best friend?", it seems like what she really means is 'when did you start wanting taissa as your best friend instead of me?'.

shauna may have started confiding in taissa more because she had a secret to keep from jackie and she needed anyone to be there for her...but from the very first episode (at least to ME), it's clear that taissa has been there for shauna before the plane crash, through her pregnancy, eighteen months in the wilderness, and even twenty-five years later. in no way am i insinuating that taissa's friendship with shauna is one-sided, either! shauna exhibits a very different kind of softness and affection with taissa than she ever was shown to do with jackie. it's very innocent, there's no envy, they have nothing to withhold from one another when they're hiding away in Dead Cabin Guy's attic.

shauna and taissa slept side by side up there, away from their team and the expectations that were unfairly placed on each of them and suddenly they both can breathe easier. they shared secrets and their fears and it brings them closer together, though it drives jackie and shauna further apart. with girl #1 further out of the picture, #'s 2 and 3 realize just how nice it feels to be understood. when taissa expresses the immense amount of guilt she feels about being the reason that van went on the ill-fated expedition, shauna reassures her that it's not her fault that van got hurt. that if taissa was too scared to sleep, shauna would stay awake. that she wouldn't let her go anywhere.

despite everything, though, taissa seems to understand that shauna would pick jackie over her any day. and she respects that, defends jackie's resistance to the wilderness and its offerings. when shauna (then mari and the rest of the team) start to gang up on jackie, taissa STILL defends her because she's girl #1...shauna's best friend. "c'mon jackie, don't go outside..." "don't pretend like this isn't what you wanted the entire fucking time." because jackie knows that taissa likes to win and isn't afraid to play dirty in order to get what she wants: the role of being shauna's New Best Friend.

once jackie is exiled from the cabin and shauna is watching her struggle from the window, it's STILL taissa who's saying "just go talk to her" ... just bring her inside, go and make up with her because she;s your best friend and you love her and i'll still be there for you. and taissa always is. in the morning when the find jackie, all alone and frozen in time, taissa's there to hold shauna as she cries and screams and curses the world and realizes her own capacity for cruelty. taissa's there for shauna. she's not letting go and she's not going anywhere.

#taissa turner i SEE you and i understand you!#taissa is for all of the girlies and swirlies who used to walk a few paces behind everyone else #from one girl number 3 to another #taissa turner #shauna shipman #jackie taylor #taissa x shauna #jackieshauna #yellowjackets analysis #yellowjackets #long post tw #i could give a whole tedtalk on the cruelty of three-girl friendships and their media portrayals for REALS (threatening)

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azurlily · 1 year

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Hange zoe DATING headcannons (your choice on sfw or nsfw or both if you’d like!) -🐢

Dating Hange Zoe would be like:

Hange is a scientist, so of course they need to gather research on you before "jumping to conclusions".

She'll watch you when out on missions just in case a titan gets a bit too close. Cant have her lover getting hurt, right?

Depending on wether you are a cadet or not, she will either show too much or little amounts to PDA.

If you are a cadet(18 OR OVER), well she'll keep your relationship a secret until she feels comfortable. If not, be prepared they love to show you off.

Hange keeps you close in a secret fear of never seeing you again. What if you're out on a mission and DIE? They wouldn't be able to bear it.

Hange sometimes uses their rank to get you things. Extra food, water, anything she can find.

Will start thinking about you when they are pulling an all nighter and cant stop. They wonder where you are, if you're asleep, if you're awake... if you're cheating on them

Hange is very self conscious about herself. She thinks that she isn't good enough sometimes and doesn't know what to do.

You, of course squash these thoughts by kissing her and showing her you love her. You show her how important she is to you.

Hanges kisses are gentle and sweet. She can get a little overwhelming due to the fact that shes just so happy to see you.

Dont ever let her sweet demeanor fool you though. They could very easily hurt someone or something if mad enough.

Example: Levi had made a comment about you being unprofessional because he believes your relationship(all relationships not just the gay ones) should be kept private. He berated you and told you to this is the military your could die any day.

You told Hange, and by the gods. You have never seen her so mad. They told you it was okay, and that they would "talk" to Levi.

The talking that she did ended up in her blowing up about how rude it was and how Levi wouldn't understand because his lover is dead. She slapped Levi and told him, "When you understand how afraid I am for her safety, you can talk about relationships."

You never thought she'd get mad enough to mention them(no real lover I'm just using this). Levi didn't say anything, he should have, but he didn't. Hange is the commander now, Hange is in control.

When Hange came back to you she promised it was handled nicely and neatly.

You never had a problem with anyone talking about your relationship ever again.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

Hard, fast, rough. Maybe a bit sweet.(not maybe definitely) Hange gets quite needy after overworking and needs some help. You'll help her right?

They like being in control. With losing everyone and becoming commander she needs a form of stress relief.

They like when you call them daddy, seeing as they feel more masculine in bed. The first time you called them daddy. Well, your thighs hurt with how good she fucked you.

They love to eat you out. She prefers you not eat her, but if you convince her to let you. You'll have them wrapped tight around your finger.

She eat you for hours, she loves when you cry, and whine, and beg. She loves hearing you please for mercy while you both know she ain't giving you none.

"Aww, yes, I know it hurts. I know, but you'll take it, you'll take me. Now open those pretty thighs up again, I wasn't done."

Dont try bratting with them, it only makes things worse for you. They are the definition of fuck around and find out in bed. The madder she is the rougher she gets.

If you're sweet though, she'll treat you like the pretty little slut you are. She'll tell you, you're a good little slut and fuck you till you're both numb.

She has high stamina during the day. Why wouldn't she at night too?

"Fuckk, such a dumb little slut. You sure know how to eat me out. Maybe I'll reward you if you're good. You wanna be a good slut for me?

Dont worry she'll reward you, she melts when you eat her. Dont let her try and fool you.

As you can see she has a praise and degradation kink. They'll bully you in bed, make you cry(tears of pleasure), while fucking you so hard it should hurt.

Then again, you are her slut. So why does it matter if it hurts, you're here to feel good, to be overstimulated til you can't move, much less talk.

Aftercare is something out of this world. She'll bring you food, water, and will help you clean up.

She constantly reassures you she isn't mad, that she loves you, that you're hers. Shes so gentle with you.

She'll help you fall asleep and lay there for a while playing with your hair/drawing shapes on your skin with her hand.

Hii 🐢! I'm so glad someone has put in a request. It's not the best hit I'm working on my writing skills! I use a mixture of she/they for Hange seeing as I dont know if they are nonbinary or if that's a rumor. Anyway thank you for reading!

#aot girls #hange zoe x reader #hange x reader #aot #aot smut #im bad at this #wlw #lesbian #i cant write #🤦🏽‍♀️#i tried #hange zoë #aot headcanons

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infoglitch · 20 days

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i beg of thee... please... more blackguard stuff. am dyin over here...

It appears the sinners have demanded my attention.

Very well, it's time

TO LOCK THE FUCK IN!

Back bone.

Jaune found himself sitting in his dorm gaming with ruby and surprisingly Weiss was with them, watching as the two were playing "street clash revolve" with jaune winning 3 matches as it was a best of six. With ruby winning 4 matches.

Jaune: Oop! Oop! Here it comes ruby!

Ruby: oh you think?! Aight bring it vomit boy!

Jaune proceed to tap a chain of buttons.

Up forward and then B as jaune shouted with enthusiasm.

Jaune: KANE OVERDRIVE!

On the TV screen the letters K. O. plastered the screen as Ruby groaned but also laughed as her and jaune fist bump. With Weiss watching in awe.

Ruby: GG jaune, GG.

Jaune: what you mean GG? We only got two rounds left before one of us wins.

Ruby: unfortunately I gotta get ready.me and yang will be heading to our dad's cabin for our break, and I gotta grab my bags and get ready, me and her will leave in an hour.

Jaune: awe, well I understand

Weiss: you sure you two and your father couldn't reschedule?

Jaune and Ruby had to do a double take as they looked at Weiss who they completely forgot was there.

Weiss:... Look I'm on the edge of my seat and I want to see who wins!

Jaune and Ruby look at eachother.

Jaune: are you sure we aren't sharing a dream?

Ruby: definitely. But regardless sorry Weiss but I gotta go, if don't who knows when me and yang will be able to go again.

Weiss sighed and nodded.

Weiss: very well, I do hope you and Yang enjoy your time back with your father.

Ruby:.. thanks weiss

Ruby walked out as jaune and Weiss sat on the formers bed with Jaune just looking at Weiss.

Jaune: hey um.. real talk, but why have you been so interested in what me and ruby do lately.

Weiss: oh just curiosity, plus I figured it do me some good to get to hang out with my leader and her friend.

Jaune looked at her as he put his controller away and fully turned to her.

Jaune: it's Bleiss isn't it?

Weiss just sat there before groaning.

Weiss: i don't know why but whenever I try to be Alone she constantly pops up and bugs me over and over again, its getting frustrating and since i cant be alone any more-

Jaune: you started hanging out with me and ruby?

Weiss nodded and looked away somewhat ashamed.

Jaune: so I assume you dont actually find what we do to hang out interesting?

Weiss: at first yes but just being around you two, there's this energy you give off that is just.. nice to be around, your like air purifiers... That was a bad analogy I'm sorry.

Jaune just chuckled but waved his hand.

Jaune: I think I understand. But outside of that.. Weiss this is your sister we are talking about. And neither of you have seen eachother for...

Weiss:... 5 years.

Jaune: 5 years, and from what i can tell, she wants to atleast catch up.

Weiss: it's not like I don't know that! Its just- why can't she just be-

Jaune: normal? Weiss your normal is based around fancy balls and gala's. How Bleiss is acting is normal. Shes being herself. Shes being&

Weiss: loud, foul mouthed, and is flirting with basically every man here?

Jaune: yeah that. All I'm gonna say is this, siblings may come from the same family, but they don't always have the same lessons as us... I can't believe I actually used the advice saph gave me.

Weiss chuckled as she just looked at the knight. The two hadn't completely become friends but jaune hoped they were getting there, and so far from he could tell.. they were.

Then footsteps are heard as one Belamere "bleiss" noir givrése. Weiss Schnee's twin sister. Her attire still the same biker aesthetic as ever with her looking around the room, before seeing jaune.

Bleiss: ah you jaune I wanna talk to you for a second.

To both Jaune and Weiss's her tone was less rude and more... polite.

Weiss: where the hell was this?!

Jaune: uh sure just give me a second.

Bleiss: take your time but this is rather important.

Weiss: WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS?!

Jaune adjusted himself as he followed Bleiss outside the room only to be pinned to the wall as he yelped before being hushed by the twin of his snow angel.

Bleiss: I need your help arc, my dear sister and I have obviously not gotten along. So I need you to help me out here since you, Weiss, and that ruby girl, are buddy-buddy now. Got it?

Jaune simply nodded as Bleiss smiled.

Bleiss: good. And If you do well enough who knows.. I may give you a taste of people out of your leag-

Jaune removed her hand from his mouth rather calmly as he spoke.

Jaune: don't even think about it, I'm doing this because Weiss is my friend, and I prefer her not having to deal with any problem that can be solved. I don't care what you give in exchange.

Bleiss:.. that's surprisingly noble. Here I was thinking he was just a loser going for women out of his league.

Jaune: are we done now?

Bleiss: hm? Oh yes, I'll be going now, till then, noble knight~

Jaune raised an eyebrow at the nickname as Bleiss walked away with a smirk.

Bleiss: perhaps this place is nothing like vacoue, and if that's the case this will be lovely~

And that end this installment of the growing story between Bleiss and Jaune.

#rwby #jaune arc #bleiss schnee #rwby blackguard #jaune x bleiss #i have like- so many ideas for how jaune and this bitch meet so sit back and fucking watch mothafuckers!

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redrosesandcharmingsouls · 1 month

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Otto manages in some way to ''delude'' himself into thinking that Alicent would have wanted to marry her best friends's father ,become his queen and have his (male) heirs ,all of it while shes an anxious teenage girl who suffers from dermatillomania .Which is weird because Alicent clearly looks uncomfortable as he asks her to see Viserys .Actually ,the second time we see her asking her if she will see him she looks angry

In this scene Otto also asks her why she's biting her nails in such an obsessive way ,and he outright says that he doesnt understand why she is doing it ,after all why would she do it if she is the most comely lady of the realm?.

Otto doesnt realize that Alicent is anxious not only because she is like that by nature ,but because he's putting her in a difficult position ,not caring about her desires at all .And he thinks ,in a pretty sexist way ,that her being the most comely lady of the realm is a enough reason to make her stop .And what is worse is that when he said that he didnt do it out of malice ,he genuinely thought it that way with no intention of harm.He was probably encouraging her to stop of her own good.

That doesnt mean he is above weaponinzing things against Alicent ,such as her sexuality and her mother's memory .And ,horrific enough ,these two things go hand in hand i the first scene we see them alone

Her sexuality is a weapon for him because Otto can strictly control it and he is the one who will decide who she can share said sexuality with .Her mother's memory is a weapon because Alicent's mother was very dear to her .He straight up tells her to wear one of her mother's dressed ,one that is very bold for that matter.

Otto's also uses her mother's memory again in ep 9 (''you look so much like your mother in certain lights''),as he is desperately trying to get back into her good graces once its clear she is the one in charge between the two.She doesnt give in this time.

A thing about Otto and Alicent's dynamic is that ,not only he genuinely believes that he is doing something good for her ,there is a specific reason on why he completely misunderstands Alicent.

And i think the line ''Our heart are one'' explains it perfectly.

Otto cant see Alicent outside her daughterhood ,he cant understand that she has a mind of her own .Thats why he gets so baffled when she speaks her mind and her plans do not align with his (ep 3 ,ep 4 ,ep 5 ,ep9).And (dont you dare think im blaming her im explaining his pov)Alicent always strives to be dutiful and sacrificial at all costs ,so obviously she obeys her dad (the man who has a lot of power over her in a fantasy medieval setting).And she also loves him and doesnt wanna disappoint him !.And so Otto gets used to the fact that ,even as a 35 adult woman with lots of experiences ,she will always obey him and their plans and ideas will always align .

Alicent is essentially a character who lost her sense of personhood because as a teenager she is put in situations where she is forced to serve and to always take care of others ,who take advantage of her dutiful persona ,and she never actually gets used to the idea that her feelings and desires matter .

And Otto is the first one who takes advantage of that ,he is the one who used her ''a piece to move across the board''.And that shapes her .

Now that doesnt mean he doesnt care for her ,he does love her in his own way.

But people have already explained why he actually loves her .What im trying to say is that Otto's failing to see(not even understand but see) Alicent shapes her and her dynamic ,and ,in the consequence ,the story.

#alicent hightower #hotd #house of the dragon #team green #otto hightower #alicent and otto #otto and alicent #Hotd meta

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brights-place · 3 months

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Hiii hope I'm not sending this at a wrong time 😅

Can we have some headcanons for queen barb marrying reader ?. 👰‍♀️👰‍♀️💐💍

Barb X Wife! S/O

Pairings: Barb X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, mild cursing, THE GAYS ARE GAYING!

A/N: I have never been so happy with this request! I'm literally writing an whole fanfiction instead of headcannons cause THIS! THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO BE JUST HEADCANNONS!

Barb X Wife! S/O pt 2

You and Barb had been dating for about 7 years and you were always supportive with each other but you did have an argument when she wanted to unite all trolls you thought you all were going to understand and learn each others different styles of music.

You didn’t think you’d end up watching your girlfriend try to take over the world. You spoke up about it but she was so close to actually collecting all the strings about it and she was gonna quit since she noticed the look of discomfort in your face but continued to do it anyway even though you told her that you felt something would happen even though she knew your gut feelings were always right she waved it off…

Now she stood at the stage watching the strings of the diffrent music tribes Techno, country, rock, funk, and pop fade in her hands as poppy ran to her partner Barb stared at the two before looking towards you wanting you to comfort her but she noticed how you looked away with an look on your face she knew well enough to read.

After the world tour incident she apolgized to everybody and literally had you scold her for so long she started to get into you degrading her which lead to some stuff if you know what I mean 🤭

She had proposed to you right after her concert dedicating songs to you which made you flustered and would take you to the rooftop singing rock songs to you that you loved as soon as she got on an knee you knew what she was gonna do “Barb…” you uttered Barb nodded looking away.

Barb definitely hasn’t been practicing proposing to you for the past 2 years after she realised she wanted to marry you “(Name) Uhm shit I forgot what I was gonna say…Fuck” Barb said looking away as you giggled cupping her face as she cleared her throat “Loving you is a knee jerk reaction. I cant control it and if I could believe me, I would. You walk into a room and my gravitational pull isn’t down. It’s you. Like you’re the Center of my world and I’m constantly falling. Falling, Falling to you and for you and hopefully with you… (Name)” Barb took an sharp inhale as you teared up slightly “If you stay with me, I promise to make you smile everyday with my weird jokes and random kisses. I promise to hold your hand when you need someone to walk with through the storm. I promise to share my food with you, give you good massages and laugh at your horrible stupid jokes that I love so much…” you gasped abit at the end “my jokes are hilarious!” Barb snickered “Sure babe… there are a million reasons why you should stay with me and be my wife… if you’d like to be?” Barb said looking away as you smiled nodding quickly tackling her to the floor and kissing her deeply

You pulled away as she held you close tearing up “Rock on…” You giggled “damn right” You said kissing barbs face as she blushed. Once you tow came back inside you were met by King Thrash and other rock trolls congratulating you two for getting engaged and soon planned together an wedding sitting side by side as you two talked about different things for the weddings.

Currently you two where wondering where exactly it would be hosted “It could be hosted on where we first met?” Barb suggested as you hummed thinking to yourself “Barb we met at volcano rock city plus I wanted to invite our friends from outside of volcano rock city our temperature here is much different were use to it but they might not be” “They have to suck it up I want our wedding it to be fucking rocking!” You giggled cupping barbs face giving her an quick peck on her lips as Barb smiled “god I want to fuck you right now” Barb uttered placing an hand on your waist as you sighed pushing her head away smirking at her “Barb keep it in your pants” “I want you to be in my pants though” Barb groaned.

The wedding ceremony was a perfect mesh of elegance and rock 'n roll theme. The rock 'n roll themed wedding was a perfect mix of elegance and rock 'n roll vibes. The wedding was held inside a vintage like building where King Thrash and Queen Thrash got married at… Barb wanted to be wedded their for her mother and father even if he mother couldn’t see it she wanted her father too.

It decorated with edgy yet classy rock 'n roll accents. The venue was decorated with dramatic black walls, featuring white accents and gold details. The venue was completely transformed into a vibrant and fun rock 'n roll theme, featuring colorful stage lighting, edgy punk rock decorations, and musical elements such as vintage rock instruments and neon lights. The tables were adorned with dramatic black table cloths and edgy black tablescape decorations, making for a perfect venue for rock 'n roll lovers.

An altar had an mix of your favourite flowers and barbs favourite wilted flowers together As Barb stood at the altar gulping sad she fixed her suit slightly as music started to play an rock n roll wedding music. Barbs suit was crafted with a bold punk rock vibe, featuring accent buttons and bold silver spikes on the jacket and black leather pants. The jacket was shaped with a dramatic collar, giving it an edgy yet stylish silhouette, while the pants featured a bold and dramatic drop-crotch style. The pants and jacket were completed with punk rock accessories such as a silver spiked neckband and belt while the shoes were crafted with a bold spiked detail black leather. Barb inhaled sharpley as riff patted barbs shoulder since Barbs bestman was riff.

You stood at the other end staring down the aisle with a nervous look on your face as you wore a wedding dress featured bold yet elegant details combining the dark and mysterious vibes with the elegance of traditional wedding dresses. The dress was beautiful and was crafted with stunning lace and satin fabric, featuring bold accents of black and deep red velvet. The bodice was shaped with a low neckline and dramatic flared sleeves, while the skirt fell in a dramatic and elegant drape, creating a chic and romantic silhouette. The gown also featured dramatic black ribbon accents at the waist, giving the gown a sleek and stylish edge. King thrash was guiding void down the aisle as rock trolls awed at your outfit as satin and chenille high-fived eachother impressed by their work.

Poppy started to tear up and bawled on her seat as branch soothed his partner chuckling. You stood infront of the altar staring at Barb who smiled softly “Your beautiful” you two say in sync before giggling at eachother as the pastor spoke telling the basics as as always before motioning for babe to start with her vows as she gulped and spoke nervously “Well damn it’s just like when I propose to you I’m so nervous… I can’t even believe I’m saying it out loud cause I know I’m gonna be made fun of by my people” Barb said smirking as others laughed in the crowd

You smiled at her as she took out a piece of burnt paper “Don’t ask why it’s burnt… I may have threw an bitch fit” Barb said as you sighed “God damn to Barb” you said giggling as Barb spoke up once more “"In the darkest of times, you are the one who lights up my world. In the most joyous of moments, you are the one who makes it all the more sweet. My days would be bleak and desolate without you, and my world would lose all its meaning. You complete my heart, my soul, my life. Without you by my side, nothing makes sense. I vow to cherish your presence, hold you close to my heart and be there for you through thick and thin. Through every hardship, I promise never to leave your side." Barb said looking up to you before freaking out when seeing you looking up holding back tears “(Name-)” “I can’t cry cause my Massacra was 48 Dollars!” Barb giggled “How do straight people do this without crying?!” You complained as Barb agreed.

You sighed looking down at your own piece of paper with vows on it “Barbra… how do I even start this? Your so fucking chaotic” you started as Barb chuckled with others in the crowd “babe you zealous hard rocker at heart, who loves the members of her Tribe and our music but you also love me… when I first met you… you mostly shielded yourself with a rough exterior but you actually has a softer side that you mostly expresses around the kids in our Tribe but also with me” you whispered cupping Barbs face as Barb smiled softly “I promise to hold your hand when you need someone to walk with through the storm. I promise to share my food with you, give you good massages and laugh at your horrible stupid jokes that I love so much… I will listen when you tell me about how horrible your day was when you come home from work. I promise to you in my arms when you feel like your whole world is crashing down. I’ll make you see that there are a million reasons why you should stay with me… and why you should marry me and you did… Barb I can’t wait to have this new chapter in our lives” the pastor smiled handing you two your rings as you placed them on each others ring finger.

You both were wearing a skull ring with you having a red ruby and Barb having an (Gem of your choice) as hers the pastor soon spoke “You may now kiss the bride!” Barb may or may not have grabbed you by the waist dipping you to the floor and kissing you happily with an large smirk as others cheered while rock n roll trolls screamed doing the rock symbol with you and Barb doing the same while kissing each other happily.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

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shadowbriar · 9 months

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Sirius Black - The Lion and The Lamb

Pairing : Sirius Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 5.1k Warning : One curse word. I'm so bad at this I don't think there's any other? Synopsis : Sirius' plot of pairing her with Remus has finally come to a success yet he finds it hard to find the joy in their relationship. Notes : Post no 3 for my 1 Year Anniversary Celebration. This story is a little bit all over the place, I'm sorry for that. Don't forget to fill the form here if you'd like to be tagged for my future works. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Sirius Black's Masterlist click here. Taglist : @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sofiacblair @when-you-cant-think-of-anything

It is only logical that someone like her, a bright witch with the wittiest mind and cleverest brain, would ever fall for someone who’s equally as brilliant. Someone who excels in his classes, despite the fact that he has a troublesome condition that restrains him from having a full attendance in his classes, is still being appointed as prefect due to his capability and proficient skill set. It’s simple logic, isn’t it? Smart people are attracted to smart people, the same way funny people are attracted to other funny people.

At least, that is the rule Sirius Black is believing in.

For years he has tried to play the matchmaker for Remus and her. ‘Accidentally’ pairing them up for school projects, ‘accidentally’ forgetting their group study session so the two of them would be left alone, and ‘accidentally’ always making her sit next to Remus in every chance presented. Sirius was determined to get them together. He would always argue that they just haven’t noticed the chemistry they have, how everyone in the room could tell that these two are in love with each other. Though James would always deny and say that no one except Sirius would see this so-called chemistry, Sirius has already made it his life mission to make them a couple.

“Truly, I love Padfoot but his antics on pairing us up is starting to get under my skin.” Remus grumbles as he walks with her through Hogsmeade. They were supposed to meet up at the Three Broomstick, her and the rest of the Marauders, but after an hour of waiting, the two knew that this is just another stunt Sirius’ pulled for them “Once we get back to the castle I will make him transform into his animagus form and turn him into a fur hat, I swear it.”

She chuckles, “I’d love to witness that.”

The two continue their walk until Remus halts all of a sudden, stopping his pace with an expression she couldn’t decipher. It was as if he was thinking deeply about something that is struggling to burst forth from his lips. His brows furrow and it’s taking a huge amount of self control in herself to not straighten them with her thumb.

“I have an idea that might make you murder me,” He says to her “But this is worth the shot, at least for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you not tired of this? Of Padfoot always setting us up like this?” Remus questions, his arms now fold in front of his chest “Because I am. We can hardly hangout with the others anymore and don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you, Love, it’s just that—”

“Sirius,” She cuts, nodding in understanding with a small laughter “I get it. What do you propose?”

Remus shrugs, “Well, since the boy’s so determined to get us together, why don’t we just.. Get together?”

“Get together?” She repeats with a raised brow “As in.. Date each other?”

“Yeah, precisely that.”

She stares at him with appalled eyes. Remus seems adamant with his proposal, his tone is firm and his body language shows 100% certainty, yet her mind still couldn’t process his words properly. The idea of them dating would be as logical as flying pigs. They are the true definition of platonic love. Dating Remus would feel like painting the Black Lake pink with a makeup brush, painful and useless.

Noticing her bewildered expression, Remus proceeds to explain his bid, “Alright, maybe I worded it wrong. I meant to say that maybe we should try to give the impression that we’re dating. I love you Dove, there’s no denying that, but we’re nowhere close to what Padfoot is insinuating and I just can’t live the rest of my school years being his experimental toad.”

“Ah,” She finally nods in understanding. Her facial expressions soften from the explanation, letting out a chuckle now as Remus’ words start to make sense “You still have to define try in this scenario, Rem. What are the rules and what not?”

Remus shrugs once more, “Just act like we’re dating in front of the boys, I guess.”

“Okay, and what does ‘act like we’re dating’ mean?” She questions further, her right hand now resting on her right cheek as she gives the offer a thought “Dating could have a very broad meaning, these days.”

“Hold hands, walk you to your classes, carry your books, you know those little things.”

“And how about the PDAs?”

“Like kissing?” Remus asks. He winces slightly at the thought, not out of disgust but more on the unlikelihood of either of them enjoying such action “We can opt that out. Just tell people we’re not a big fan of public attention for such gestures, they’ll buy it.”

She pursed her lips, brows furrowed now as she truly pondered her options. Sure the fact that Sirius is restless about his mission is irritating her, but is pretend dating really the answer? It feels cruel, knowing that Sirius came from a good heart, but Remus is right. Just how many more years should they suffer through this foolish mischief? If anything it will only grow discomfort between her and Remus and she surely wouldn’t want to lose her friendship with him.

“Should we put a time frame for it then?” She says, trying to help perfect the proposal “Say.. 3 months? Would that be too long? We could just tell people that we didn’t really work out by then.”

“I was going to say until the semester ends, but 3 months seems enough.” Remus nods, holding out his hand “So is that a deal?”

She smiles, taking his hand and shaking it firmly, “Deal.”

—-

The next morning when the pack walks down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ eyes are caught at the sight of his two friends sitting comfortably close to each other, already enjoying their meal and sharing what seems to be the most interesting discussion. James shot him a look, utterly puzzled at the intimacy they were showing. Peter was the only one who could still function and walk to the couple, sitting right in front of them.

“Morning, you two,” Peter greets, his eyes narrowed in an interrogating way “You left pretty early this morning, Moons. Didn’t even hear you go out the door.”

“Yeah, I had to pick her up from her dorm.” Remus shrugs, his tone casual as he rests a hand around her shoulders “You guys are here on time.”

“What is happening?” Sirius asks this time, a disbelief smile decorating his baffled face. He was still standing by the table, the only one who’s not yet seated. His eyes travelled to Remus’ secured hold around her “You two are more comfortable than I last remember.”

“Yeah, well, we decided to give it a go.” She explained with a smile, looking at Remus.

Sirius let out a chuckle, one that doesn’t sound the most sincere as he proceeds to question, his tone was laced with uncertainty, “Give what a go?”

“Dating.” She answers as she turns to him briefly before giving Remus a little peck on the cheeks “We’re dating now.”

Remus, who wasn’t expecting the kiss, turns crimson. It wasn’t the first kiss he’s received on the cheek from her, but getting it under the impression of their romantic affair still caught him off guard. He gave her a look, one that she understood was him being impressed at her act, before pulling her head closer to his shoulder.

Remus’ eyes now travel to Sirius’ who is stupefied, still on his feet after witnessing such action. He doesn’t seem to be joyful, not even the slightest bit happy at the fact that his life mission is now finally achieved. Like someone hit the invisible reset button in the back of his head. Completely at loss of words and understanding of the scene unravelling before his eyes.

“You alright, Pads?” Remus asks with a raised brow.

James had to pull on Sirius’ robe in order to bring the black haired boy back to life. Sirius blinks, evidently trying to digest the new information with a scrunched brow. He finally takes a seat, resting his hand under his chin in an interrogative gesture, “What— When, uh, when did this happen?”

“Yesterday, after our Hogsmeade date.” She answers casually, squeezing herself closer to her ‘boyfriend’ as she continues “We figured.. You’re right. We do have chemistry between us, so we thought— Why not? Right, my Love?”

Remus smirks, seemingly amused at the pet name given, “Right, Darling.”

“Aw, not the pet names.” James fakes a gag “You two are going to beat me and Lils as couple of the year.”

Breakfast continued with so much laughter and bliss that her cheeks were starting to hurt. It feels wonderful to finally share tender and warm moments without having to worry that Remus might feel uncomfortable or that she would have to excuse herself to join her group of friends to run from a plot Sirius would pull on them. After what seems to be forever, the two of them can finally appreciate the platonic love shared in the group.

Yet through the delightful morning they’re spending, she couldn’t help but to notice the half-hearted laughter Sirius would let out or how he would play with his food more than to chime in on James' jokes. He wouldn’t meet eyes with her, as if he has a secret he wants to keep. Something she couldn’t tell what it was nor what it’s about.

—-

Fake dating Remus has been brilliant to say the least. Neither of them now have to feel awkward from each other, nurturing their friendship that was once put to halt when Sirius started his ruse. James and Peter have been more free to ask either of them to hang out too, knowing that Sirius wouldn’t pop out of nowhere and jeopardise the plan to have her paired up with Remus instead. Yet through all these splendid events, she couldn’t help but to notice Sirius’ withdrawal.

He has been more quiet whenever the five of them would hang out, being too busy with his assignments she knows full well he pays no mind about or excusing himself to get some rest. She couldn’t even see him alone, always having something in his schedule that would make him leave her in the hallways.

It would be a lie to say that she doesn’t miss his presence.

“Have you been giving the group more quidditch practice, Potter?” She asks as she plops herself to the sofa, scanning around the Common Room to look for the familiar black haired boy.

James makes a face, “No? We haven’t even done any practice for weeks due to the bad weather.”

A frown blooms on her face. Quidditch practice is Sirius’ most used justification to his pardon and to know that there hasn’t even been one for a while surely baffles her. What could be the reason for Sirius’ absence then?

“Where’s Sirius?” She voiced out “I haven’t seen him for a while now, it’s like he’s avoiding me.”

“Probably feeling undermotivated now that you two are dating. His whole life was devoted to seeing you two as a couple, now that it’s happened, I suppose Padfoot requires some time to recalculate his next life mission.” Peter comments nonchalantly “Perhaps he could finally find one that is actually useful for his future.”

She forces a smile.

A big question mark is still ingrained in her mind. She seems to be the only one to notice Sirius’ withdrawal and is actually bothered by it. Perhaps it was because the boys still see him in their dorm room and spend more classes with him that they could hardly notice the difference. Either way, she knows that she won’t get her answer by asking them about Sirius. She has to ask him herself. However that might be.

—-

Sirius’ palms have been more sweaty nowadays every time she was around. He was sure that one of these days his closest mates will call him out for the strange act he’s been pulling and how he’s committing the grandest sin to have feelings for his best friend’s girlfriend.

In his defence, Sirius never intended to fall for her. He’s always admired her, sure, only a fool would question that, but never has Sirius ever thought that such admiration stemmed from romantic feelings. He always thought and believed that her best pair is Remus, someone who is stable and responsible, unlike him who is impulsive and directionless in life. Someone who would follow wherever the wind would sail his ship to.

No, Sirius will never accept anyone who is less prudent than Remus to be her lover.

But that day in Potion class haunts him like a persisting ghost. How the cauldron of Amortentia smelled like her. A mix of her perfume, her favourite dish that she would always dig in whenever Christmas comes, and that scent of flower they did their Herbology paper on back in third year. There would be no chance that Sirius misinterpreted the scents. What he smelled from the love potion was her, only her.

Now he’s standing feet away from her, trying to cast the patronus charm along with the other students. He could see Remus succeeding in no time, producing a wolf shaped patronus. He could see the mixed emotions Remus had on his face. Proud of his success in conjuring the spell and bitterness over the form of patronus he owned.

He turned his gaze to Lily, a beautiful doe was running around her. James on the other side of the class was screaming in delight when he finally conjured his patronus, a magnificent stag standing by his side. Sirius knew that James would use this to pester on Lily more. People do say that some soulmates may have a connected form of patronus.

Sirius’ lips turned into a smile as he watched her successfully produce her patronus now. A beautiful rottweiler was running around her. What a perfect patronus, Sirius thought. A courageous and loyal animal, the perfect one for her.

Now Sirius tries to cast the spell himself. A couple tries and he finally managed to produce a full patronus, a german shepherd. He lets out a satisfied laughter, watching as his patronus runs around the class, stopping only when it met her patronus.

But Sirius’ patronus soon disappears as his focus dissolves, locking eyes with Remus who watches over the event with a confused look and an intrigued smirk plastered on his face. Sirius swallowed his own saliva in nervousness. Does this mean Remus knows about his growing affection towards his girlfriend?

—-

“I’m calling it, me and Lily are soulmates.” James says happily as he jumps on his bed, resting his arms behind his head as a pillow “Who would’ve thought, right? A stag and a doe. Merlin, we must’ve been made for each other for real.”

“Not really in the mood to talk about patronuses, guys.” Peter snorts, sulking at his still failure in conjuring one.

“Don’t worry, Wormy, your time will come.” Sirius says, patting the boy’s shoulder before heading to his trunk to put his books in “Took me a couple tries to get it too.”

“Right, your german shepherd patronus,” Remus notes, a suspicious smile tugged on his lips “Did you notice that yours were the only one other than her’s in the form of a dog?”

Sirius feigned a confused look, furrowing his brows, “Who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, right! Her rottweiler!” James chimed “It was adorable when your patronus came to her’s, Pads. Too bad yours didn’t last too long. You surely need more practice with your spell.”

Sirius only let out a small chuckle, not saying another word as he silently prays that they would drop this topic. It’s uncomfortable enough for him to know that his patronus were fond of hers, adding to the stress of his realisation of her scent from the amortentia. Now to have Remus staring at him with an expression he’s dying to confront yet certainly not ready to face the consequences of, Sirius wonders if pairing her with Remus all these years was a mistake.

—-

“I think we need to call off this ruse.”

“Already?” She asks, putting down her book to meet Remus’ eyes “We’re not even half way through 3 months.”

“Yeah, I don’t think we need to get that long. Even if we break up now, I’m sure Sirius wouldn’t pair us up like he did before.”

She raised an eyebrow, confused, ��Why would you think that?”

“Because that git finally realises that he likes you.” Remus says with a confident smirk.

Her eyes nearly popped out of its eye sockets. What Remus said just now is as surprising as hearing that Dumbledore and McGonnagal are holding their wedding this Yule break. Never in a million years would she ever expect such a reason to be uttered by him.

She let out a mocking laughter, dismissing his words, “You’re mental.”

“I’m not,” Remus denies, leaning closer to her to prove his words “That day in Charms class. His patronus came to you. You both had guard dogs as patronus. Why do you think that’s because?”

“Mere coincidence?” She questions, still finding his words to be baffling “We both have dogs as our patronus, so? They’re not even the same breed. You’re making a connection out of nothing.”

“Am I really?” He challenges “I mean, think about it! Don’t you think Sirius has been acting strange ever since we’re dating? And that day in Potion class, I bet you a hundred galleons, he smelled your scent from the amortentia.”

“He does not,” She says firmly, shaking her head in denial “And you don’t even have a hundred galleons, Remus.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “My point still stands. Sirius likes you, I’m certain of it.”

She frowns, still finding it hard to digest Remus’ words. It feels like some sick joke he’s trying to have her convinced. There would be no chance in hell that Sirius would like her. Why would he? All these years spent of him trying to get her with Remus, why would he now have feelings for her?

“No.” She says short.

“Why are you so defensive about this?” Remus groans “I’m telling you. We call things off now and I bet Sirius will waste no time and court you.”

“He spent his whole life in Hogwarts trying to pair us up, Remus. Now you say that he has feelings for me? Doesn’t that sound a little bit mad?”

He shrugs, “Maybe he didn’t realise his feelings for you until we did this fake dating.”

“That still sounds absurd.”

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Remus says, holding his hands up in surrender “But I still think we should stop our ruse now. If he really does have feelings for you, I don’t want him to feel like he’s betraying me or anything. I refuse to be the cockblocker between you two.”

She put up her book, closing their conversation with a nod. If Remus thinks that it would be best for them to stop their fake dating now then she would have no issue against it. It wasn’t like she was having the grandest time of her life fake dating him, but there would be no chance that she’s falling for his words, that Sirius secretly holds feelings for her because there’s simply no chance for that to ever happen in this life. No chance.

—-

“You broke up with her?!” Sirius asked, tone rising in disbelief and unexplained anger “Why?!”

“Because,” Remus answers with a shrug “I just don’t think that it was working.”

“So you dumped her?”

“No, it was a mutual agreement.”

Sirius still has his displeased expression on, glaring at Remus. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way. A mix of relief and rage at the same time. He was glad that they finally ended their relationship, for whatever reason Sirius isn’t sure he wanted to dig deeper on, but on the other side he can’t help but to worry if she was hurt by Remus’ decision. Even if it was a mutual agreement, who’s to say that she isn’t crying and bawling her eyes out from heartbreak right now?

“I still can’t believe you broke up with her.” Sirius mutters “You two have only been, what, a month together?”

Remus shrugs once more, letting out a tired sigh, “There’s no bad blood between us. She’s fine, I didn’t break her heart if that’s what you’re so riled up on.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, giving him the ‘are you serious’ look.

“What?” Sirius asks, appalled “What’s with that look?”

“Oh, come on, Pads, stop acting oblivious.” Remus says, rolling his eyes “You might fool Prongs and Wormtail but you’ll never fool me, not about this.”

Sirius frowns, folding his arms in front of his chest in defence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Remus glares.

Sirius squared his shoulders, showing his firm stand.

Remus sighs, patting his best friend's shoulder in an attempt to console him, “For what it’s worth, Pads, I’m not angry. If anything, I’m glad that you finally come to your senses and realise the true reason for your dedication in finding her a proper partner. You care for her, in a whole different world than how me or Prongs or Wormtail do. I just hope that you won’t be stupid enough to pull another lark on her.”

Sirius remains quiet, his defensive expression softens a little. It was one thing to realise his feelings for her, one thing to see all the signs scattered around them that he was so blind to see before, but it’s an entirely different thing to have it confronted by Remus. By the one person who he should feel most embarrassed to admit the feelings for. What kind of a friend is he? Has he no shame?

“I’m sorry, Moony.” Sirius begins “I never meant for it to go this way.”

“What are you saying sorry for? I just told you I’m glad about your budding affection for her.” Remus replies with a chuckle “You can throw away the shame or any foul feelings you have for liking her. I’m not angry or disappointed or anything you might think I feel. Matter of fact, if I could give you any advice, I’ll tell you to go and see her now and waste no more time. You’ve been dense for quite too long, it’s time you actually do something about it.”

“Are you sure? You’re not the slightest bit angry at me?”

“Pads, if you ask me one more time, I swear to Merlin I’ll hex you.”

Sirius smiles, genuinely at last. He feels like the heavy burden that has been sitting atop of his chest has been lifted. Like he could finally breathe and think clearly after being so suffocated by all the overthinking he’s done at night. He could feel the energy that used to flow through his veins slowly returning, making his confidence and bold self to be resurrected back to life.

“Moons,” Sirius called, grinning “You don’t happen to know where she is, do you?”

—-

The library was pretty much empty now. Students have either gone back to their dormitory or down at the Great Hall to have their dinners. She too would find herself digging into roasted chicken and mashed potato right now had today been another ordinary day, but no. Today has been everything but ordinary.

Remus’ words echo in her head like a broken record. She knew that Sirius had been acting strange. She’s confident that she was the first to notice this. Even his reaction to their dating news was so out of character. The anticipated grin and jump of joy was never presented, only vacant eyes and forced laughter served by Sirius ever since.

Now she tries to bury the thousand of questions running in her mind by reading some books she knew would do her no good. She’s lost count of how many times she’s reread this one sentence. None of the words seem to enter her brain, lost into thin air as her eyes skimmed through the words.

“Hey.”

Her head was turned in the blink of an eye, neck almost cracked from the sudden force. She stares at the boy standing by her side with a surprised look, smiling faintly, “Sirius, hello.”

“Can I join you?”

“Uh, sure,” She says, heart pounding now “Take a seat.”

Sirius silently does, smiling at her with quite the nervousness. Whatever it is he wanted to say tonight, she knew that it messes with his heartbeat as much as it does to hers.

“Are you busy?” He asks, fidgeting with his fingers “I’d like to steal a little bit of your time if you aren’t.”

“No, I’m not busy.” She says, closing her book. She tidies her hair nervously, trying to compose herself in front of him. Something she’s never felt before, conscious of his appearance in front of Sirius. Lord, just what is happening in her heart, truly?

“I, uh.. I have something to talk to you about.” Sirius begins, his volume getting smaller and smaller that he’s practically whispering now “I heard that you and Remus didn’t work out.”

“Oh, yeah, we didn’t.”

“Are you okay?”

“Grand,” She bobs her head up and down, a little bit too cheerful for someone who’s facing a break up “Me and Remus are still friends, there’s no hard feelings between us. We just didn’t work out.”

“I see.”

She nods again, smiling awkwardly, “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah.. I mean, no, not really.” Sirius says, tongue tied over whatever lines he wanted to spill “I just— Well, I— Shit, this is so hard to say but I— Well, the past few days I’ve been thinking and I.. Well.. I suppose I owe you an apology.”

“An apology?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “What for?”

“For trying to pair you and Remus together.” He continues “I.. I realised that I might not have the proper reason for wanting to find you the right partner. I mean, I thought I did but some things that have happened recently have altered my perspective.”

She opens her mouth before closing it again, confused at whatever direction he was going for, “Sirius, I don’t believe that I understand a word you said just now.”

“I know. I’m not making any sense right now.” He says with a chuckle. The laughter was enough to melt the tension between them but once it died down, the heaviness on his shoulders returned that Sirius couldn’t help but to let out a sigh “What I’m trying to say is.. I think.. Well, I used to think that certain people belong to certain people.”

Her brows knit, listening carefully to his words.

“I thought that smart people belong with smart people. I thought that someone as smart as you should be with someone just as smart. I mean, it’s logical isn’t it? The lions belong with the lioness and the lamb belongs with the other lamb.” He continues, rambling “But then you started dating Remus, and that Potion class happened, and Charm class happened, and I began to think.. Could the lion be with the lamb?”

“I— Am I the lion or the lamb?” She asks, furrowing her brows “I’d be offended if you say I’m the lamb.”

Sirius grins, “You’re the lion, of course.”

“Then who’s the lamb? You or Remus?”

“Me,” Sirius answers, biting his inner cheek in nervousness “I’m the lamb.”

Her expression softens, slowly understanding his words.

“I know it was wrong of me to feel this way. You’re dating Remus, for Godric’s sake! I’ve been trying to pair you two for years and now that you two are dating, I can’t even fake happiness for it.” Sirius confesses, smiling pitifully to himself “What a friend, right?”

She takes his hand gently, softly squeezing it in assurance, “We can’t help who we fall in love with, Sirius. I’m sure Remus understands.”

“He does,” Sirius answers “Do you?”

She was quiet now. It all happens too quickly for her. Just a few hours ago she was fake dating Remus, then he told her that Sirius likes her, and now Sirius himself is professing his feelings. Sure there have been moments in her life where she admires Sirius more than she admires Remus or James or Peter, but it was never as strong as how Sirius is portraying right now. Never as clear as the devotion Sirius is offering her right now.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Sirius says, noticing her mute as rejection “Just say the words and we can put this behind us. Pretend that this never happens.”

“Sirius,” She calls, holding his hand firmer now “I appreciate your honesty and truthfully, I— I don’t have a word to say to you right now.”

Sirius nods, understanding.

“I just.. I need time to digest everything.” She continues “And you’re not making me uncomfortable. If you’d like to dive further into whatever this is we’re feeling right now, I’m willing to give it a go, but I can’t promise you anything right now.”

“Give.. Give it a go?” Sirius asks, hopeful eyes now staring at her “You’re willing to give this a go?”

“I mean, sure. I’ve always wondered what chemistry you always talk about whenever me and Remus were in the same room because to put it frankly, I always thought that it was us who had the chemistry, not me and Remus.” She reasoned, smiling a little at the thought “But like I said, I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise you that I would be able to return the affection as much as the one you have for me. I’ll try, but I don’t want to give you false promises.”

“That is more than enough.” Sirius says fast, grinning satisfiedly now “Thank you.”

She nods, returning his smile.

Relief was what best describes the two of them now. Sirius kisses the back of her hand gently, showing his grandest gratitude for her understanding and kindness. The same happiness was mirrored on her face, flustered at his gentle gesture. It’s only a matter of time now until the two hand each other their hearts. After all, german shepherds and rottweilers always make cute puppies, don’t they?

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #sirius black scenario #sirius black scenarios #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black oneshot #sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x oc #sirius black x y/n

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sharkfinn · 4 months

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Ahem, I am so glad you asked.

Okay, so a while back, I was really trying to figure out the correlation between the Rat King and Splinter. I still don't fully understand what really went down, but I do believe that Splinter is dead.

Listen, you said that Draxum is a really good Dad. So I think it is more likely that what happened did happen. But, you said in the tags that he still views humanity as dangerous and foreign. So, I think that Draxum does think that humans are to be feared.

When Huginn and Muginn explained why Spots room had some human stuff in it, Draxum freaked out and started asking things and saying that they could have brought back a human transmitter or a tracking device, lol. So he is paranoid in some aspects.

I mean, why did Spot attack April? I already mentioned some possibilities in the past, but now I think he attacked her just because she's a human who's affiliated with his brothers. I don't even think he knows she's their friend. Like, has Draxum even mentioned the fact that he saw April and his sons together already??? Did he even take into consideration when Leo said they were "all set in the Dad department"??? That's definitely ominous!

I think the best possible reason why Draxum could be using the Rat King as an illusion to scare Spot is because of his overprotectiveness. He just wants to keep his son safe. He's already lost four, and so he couldn't handle losing another one. So maybe he's using the Rat King as a disguise for Splinter? Maybe everything that Spot experienced when him and his brothers were held captive was all just a nightmare. Maybe Splinter is using it to scare him away from the dangers of this world...?

But that doesn't really add up because why is Draxum sending him on a mission to save his brothers? He's asked about what happened when he was taken by the Rat King, so why would he just bring up something traumatic that never happened? To be manipulative? That doesn't sound like your Draxum.

The Rat King terrorized Spot's brothers, but where's any sign of the others being traumatized? Did they just forget? I know Spot was significantly younger than all of them, but they all were still kids. They may have been affected a little differently, but It doesn't change what they went through.

Leo says they already have a Dad, so if Splinters dead, who could possibly be raising them? Has April already met their Dad? In some sick way, has the RAT KING been raising them this whole time? I can imagine that once Spot meets his brothers and goes to their lair, he'll see him and totally freak out and realize they really don't remember anything. He'll sound insane to them. It'll be even crazier for his brothers when they find out that Draxum is their actual Dad since they don't remember the childhood they spent with him.

I think it's possible that Splinter did, in fact, take the other turtles because he thought Draxum had ill intentions with the turtles, but he was wrong. I already called out this parallel with the Rat King and Splinter. But it could still just be a difference in universes. I mean, maybe the Rat King, whoever he may be in this universe, came to Draxum's home and took his sons to get revenge? He could be a failed experiment of Draxum's, or maybe he's someone that Draxum wronged in the past, and he just doesn't remember him.

Like, why would he specifically just take his sons? Why did he kill Splinter and not Draxum? Why burn Draxum's lab to the ground? Why did he mind control them? Maybe he's wasn't thinking straight? I really don't know.

I was asking a while back how the others were able to get away from the Rat King if all Draxum could save was Spot. If the Rat King hasn't been taking care of them, then how did they get away? Who found them all hurt and alone? It seemed to me like they were defenseless when they were ALL there together. I mean, there's proof. So when Spot was taken, how'd that even the odds? Did the Rat King get distracted, and they ran off behind his back? Possibly.

And for some reason, Raph got mind controlled? It doesn't seem like any of the others did as well, so why him? Because he's the oldest and the strongest? Did the Rat King use him to keep them from running off? Like, whenever they'd wonder off, would Raph go and get them? 'Cause if that's the case... god. That's so messed up. Using their big brother that would never hurt them in a million years to keep them in line? Jesus. That explains this... :(

Anyway, I am so baffled as to how this is all gonna fix itself. Like, we've seen future stuff of the turtles past all this mess. How long does it take for them to heal from this? Splinter getting killed in front of them, getting taken by the Rat King and leaving their father, having god knows what done to them by the Rat King in their time of captivity, getting separated by Spot and Spot seperated by his brothers, them forgetting Spot for many many years and out of no where meeting their long lost brother dragging their unconscious friend to GOD KNOWS WHERE! WHAT THE HELL 😂???

I'm at a loss, to be honest. I will be waiting here as you decide whatever's gonna happen after this point. I, for one, cannot choose just one single possibility. This story could go either way, tbh. All I know is that this is gonna be really hard to explain to his brothers, lmao. I am very excited to see them interact, though. I think that Spot and his brothers' time together will kind of be like the Mutant Manhunt au where Raph got separated by the brothers and was at the battle Nexus. Or, the story will be a lot more chaotic. Again, it could go either way. It really depends on who their "Dad" is, in my opinion. It would've been cool if April's Mom took them in, but that wouldn't explain the Dad department Leo was mentioning. Unless it was a joke and he was talking about Lou Jitsu or Jupiter Jim, and I shouldn't take it so seriously, lol.

I hope you like my rant. I sound so normal about this au, don't I? (If you saw any grammatical errors, no, you didn't).

AAAAHHH i cant wait !!!!!!!!!! :]

#sharkfinnasks #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt au #sharkfinnarts #i love love love being able to hear peoples interpretations of what i made so far #little brother au

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hellonerf · 1 month

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suicide is discouraged in the workplace

im not even gonna try to be coherent here. this is not an analysis post i am braindead. if i was a better artist makima wouldve been my muse when i was deep into chainsawman. actuallt she kind of was but i pussyed out

OK everyone here can subconsciously understand this connection. dont get too hung up on makima's strong motherhood theme and i just thought about what if ame was motherly and i couldn't kill myself right aftee thinking that as i have no means to it. that was a joke its late and im just me. i decided i wasnt a fan of motherly ame though so all suicidal thoughts erased. i am really chill now

old makima fanart i drew that im trying not to rip my hairs out over thinking about it with ame. also dont worry if this makes tou find my mainblog or main accounts whatever

actually theyre really different in many ways now that im looking at these. ame is so much of a son and makima is so much of a mother its like oppsoite spectrums. but thay makes the commonalities fun actuallt. i keep thinking about the movies and makima hating bad movies. ame is not an art kid by any means does he even care of the beauty of the world? i doubt it. but he likes bad movies and he likes cheap entertainment so who knows... they'd disagree on that. well i think makima's opinion on that was pretty extreme so i think most would disagree with her really

i could imagine ame going "Chainsawman. Doesn't spit." and smoking for the first time to look cool like in movies only to pathetically cough. thats their common trait... artifice... humans... but in a way that loops back to being Really Human i guess. holds a kind of arrogance and hubris that is so associated with humanity. it cant be anything else. ame should kill himself i think he should get moments of clarity and awareness and want to kill himself rqlly bad

both concepts of control. awesome. SUICIDE IS NOT ENDORSED IN THE WRKPLACE. ame goes to protestant church once or twice and sleeps because hes useless. makima is baptised and goes to local catholic churches not the cathedrals she supports the local christians.FUCK i just remembered the country mouse city mouse thing. ame is a liar and hates everything and loves everything and never feels content. i like to imagine him as a country mouse so fucking bad i want him to chill out one day and go to those middle of nowheres i know exist in america(can i shove cana in here and get away with it). why are they in the city if they are country mice? because..... you know..... you understand..... another w for eternal unhappiness (refer to title of this post)(suicide is discouraged in the workplace)

they are evil bosses i am the employee and when i ask for a break they gaze at me with a vacant stare and smile and i know in my heart they are viewing me like i am beneath them. i get scared and run away but truth is they didnt hear my request. they do not register individual people

if they met they would know immediately and viceversa. because everyone knows subconsciously because lying is futile and everything melts away. ame:i know a toxic boymom when i see one... okay im kidding makima is a toxic boymom if u push the chainsawman in ur head 🙂 ame as a kind of control devil works inmy head. i really believe ame was a polite child but demanding in many ways. sincerely wanting.

ame:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill makima—that is... the control devil (i never got around to drawing this)(ame and gun devil can you imagine)

or:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill alfred f jones—that is... the united states of america (paradox)

throughout all this i wanted to cite the best makima artist in the world ever but i'd feel bad if they wouldn't want to be associated with evil hetalia america blog. also i want to be normal and not cringe at being cringe just becayse i think makima was a thunderstrike of genius that i shouldn't taint. ame is a more flexible character to me for obvious reasons. this is how i'd shove ame into makima's role. but u couldn't put makima as ame. only one way. im okay with that. concept idea consensus words fear control blablabla u get the point i hate using words dont care sleepy now

#ame bible #hetalia & chainsawman #maybe this post disappears later i dont know

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erenxfrieda · 2 years

Note

Hi <3 are you taking requests? If so, could i request some headcanon/senarios of yandere!five x yandere!reader? I love the manipulative reader series you did and imagine this version to be alittle similar with a dynamic sorta similar to joe and love from the netflix show 'you'.

When five first meets reader she comes across nieve but sweet and he falls for her innocence and kindness towards him. Shes always looking out for him and supporting him and he cant help but wanna protect her. Hes so preoccupied with spending time with her, scaring off any looks from other men and taking advantage of her kindness that he doesnt relise that the waitress at the cafe they went to together last weekend who had written her number on the inside of the napkin she gave to five when giving him and you your coffee has mysteriously gone missing..

He wonders if your just too innocent to really understand what hes saying when he vaguely admits hes done terrible things and you respond with a flippant 'me too' with a smile, little does he know you understand completely.

so i had some researchers about those two from 'you' series and now I'm interested in it!! anon, thank you ~

Five couldn't take his eyes off you.

For someone who is so good at controlling his emotions, he seems to have forgotten how he should behave in such situations.

Something about your pretty figure made him truly have an interest in you, forget about his job, about the obligation to be the hero in this story and spend another sleepless nights trying to save everyone.

And he definitely doesn't need to keep staring at you like that. Come on Number Five, you've got a lot to do and you're a very busy man, just turn away and start doing your work— Oh, fuck, now you noticed.

Five's heart beats faster when he sees your gaze directed right at him and his first reaction was to quickly look away and pretend that he was looking at the clock or just zoning out, while you, by a lucky chance, were just in front of him.

'Just a coincidence' , he justifies himself.

He grumbles, muttering something under his breath, until he finally turns away, trying to fully concentrate on his business and try to ignore that cute picture of your face in his head, your pleasant voice when you ask him to help you with something so simple, light touches on his shoulder when...

The sound of clicking pen is so loud that it's probably already getting on the nerves of his colleagues nearby, but he didn't care what they thought, when all he could think now was you.

You stand so close next to your work colleague that your hands can barely touch their body. You look happy, and Five genuinely enjoys the fact that you can stay in a good mood in any situation. That's why he works so hard for you. One of his main points is to keep watching the people he love are safe.

But could you step back for a couple of meters, please? The second, more jealous side of him is louder in his head and telling him not just to watch, but these are just simple work conversations during a break, right?

Five believes you, he is ready to trust you completely, but the people around you are not reliable and after all those years of his long, eventful life, he knows that every potential person that you meet can actually harm you.

Therefore, as your hero, he is obliged to intervene and protect you, the love of his heart, like a beautiful and not quite young prince, from a big and terrible villain.

You hear a noise behind you and a bright short flash of blue appears for a moment, which makes you smile slightly, already knowing what will happen.

You're holding a cup of coffee and you make an confused, surprised face as you turn around to look at Five, then give him your usual bright smile.

The person with who you just had conversation seems to be just as confused, but now for real, when they see Number Five in front of them, still as gloomy as usual.

Five comes closer to you, his hand resting on your interlocutor's shoulder and squeezing suspiciously tight, with a forced smile on his face that made the other person swallow nervously.

“Sorry friend, I hope you don’t mind if I steal them for a while?” 5 says, smugly grinning.

“Actually, we are—” the person starts, before Five interrupts them.

“Great,” he answers casually, focusing his attention at you instead, smile drops immediately as soon as he turns away from them.

Five is not even trying to listen to what they wanted to say, he quickly grabs your hand and blinks away, not bothered by what others will thought about this scene. Old man had enough of sharing you with everyone else today, now it's his time to be with you.

You almost stumble after this unexpected act of jealousy from Number Five, and his hand holds yours tighter, preventing you from falling.

A soft sighs comes from you when you notice that man's arms were held protectively around your waist.

“Please, warn me when you try something like that next time,” you lean closer to Five, trying to calm him down.

“I will,” he rolls his eyes. “If only you will promise me not to be all day around those idiots.”

You laugh at his words, appreciating his overprotective behavior towards you and only nod at him, which causes a soft satisfied purr from Five.

“Okay, okay,” you try to reassure him and give him a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. “ The same goes for you.”

Five just closes his eyes, resting his forehead against yours, enjoying the time he can spend with you and only you alone. He didn't think twice before giving his answer, just quietly mutters : “Deal”.

⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

You love this old man so much, but sometimes you wonder if he does it on purpose?

Does he have to smile like that at every waitress in the cafe?

Should he call every woman he meets as 'dear?'

Does he have to stare at every woman named Delores? I thought you two go through this line a long time ago.

This might be just his politeness or the ghosts of his past, but it makes you clench your teeth in anger, every time you sit on your goddamn place trying to pick an order in this stupid shit hole.

You bite the inside of your cheek as you try to ignore the conversation around you, concentrating, or at least trying to focus your attention on the clock, counting seconds before your order arrives.

“How much longer do we have to wait?” you ask impatiently.

“Are you in a hurry, hun?” Five turns his gaze to you and smiles slightly.

You smile back at him and shake your head, resting your cheek on your hand as you look at him.

“I'm just so tired...” you say sweetly, sighing, to make your words more sounds like truth. “Can't we just take our order and go home instead?”

Five is silent for a moment, as if trying to see whether your words are true. But after a few seconds, he leans closer to you and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“If you really tired then let's go home.” he gets up from his seat to come and pick up your order.

You just nod and silently follow his every action with your eyes, watching from afar. You wanted to find any reason to leave as soon as possible, trying to exclude any attempts by that annoying waitress who is trying to get close to your lover.

And it was so fucking difficult to control yourself from grabbing that terribly hot coffee from her hands and just splashing it all over her face when you notice those obvious attempts to flirt with your Number Five.

You blink once, then again, interrupting your disturbing thoughts. No, you shouldn't have to think like that, you convince yourself. What will Five think if he saw you like this?

Your slight smile slowly fades from your face and you look rather bored, tilting your head slightly, deciding not to disturb this sweet conversation between the two.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

You were glad to be able to spend a good night next to your lover. Every moment of peace and quiet with Five was very dear to you, especially if it meant that somehow you were able to put this poor guy to sleep.

His hands always holding tightly onto your body, as if afraid to let go and at one moment wake up without seeing you next to him. You were dozing, head pressed against Five's chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. You was so close to fall asleep again until you felt his hand slowly rubbing circles on your back as if trying to calm his nerves.

Slowly lifting your head up, you look at him with half-open eyes, silently asking what made him so worried in the middle of the night. This was not new to you, it's easy to predict that he might have possible problems with his sleep, knowing how lonely and abandoned most of Five's life was.

“I didn't mean to wake you up,” he mumbles softly, trying to avoid talking to you. “Just go back to sleep, don't worry about me”.

You pout playfully at his words, wrapping your arms around his waist and closing your eyes, “Five,” you whisper. “You don’t have to hide everything from me. Please, tell me what's on your mind and it will get better, I promise”.

Five sighs tiredly and it makes you sure that he will try to open up to you tonight. You never forced it on him, expecting that eventually, someday, he would feel comfortable enough to share with you the things that catches his mind. Your attention was focused on what he might said while your eyes were still resting from a hard, long day.

“Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you after all the shit I've done,” he curses, frowning slightly. “I'm not sure you even understand me.”

“Many people have done bad things in their entire lives, besides, you had no other chance, Five,” you suddenly say, looking perfectly calm. “And me too, actually. We should just move on from that”.

Five pauses for a moment, his eyes concentrated on your relaxed figure next to him, enjoying the warmth between your bodies. It seems like you didn't really think about what you were saying because of how sleepy you were, Five thinks, so he don't have any idea about the significance of your words, deciding that you, as always, were just trying to support him.

Did you feel bad for what you did? Maybe, after all, you were the same living person, you tend to feel at least a drop of compassion. But right now, you don't care. The only thing that matters right now is to be with the person you care about. It seems that tomorrow morning you should remind Number Five not to go to your favorite cafe tomorrow.

“Yeah, of course,” he says, totally not taking your words seriously as he pulls you closer towards himself, finally closing his eyes and trying to rest, ending this conversation. “ Now let's get some sleep, love”.

#yandere tua #tua x reader #yandere x reader #five hargreaves x reader #yandere five hargreeves #yandere five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #umbrella academy x reader #yandere umbrella academy #tua imagine #yandere number five #number five x reader

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seyfertgalaxy · 1 year

Text

Collector rant again :p except im sleep deprived

The fact that the collector knows the draining spell would kill people is so,, out there. but its also so fucked up because he also believes that people, mortals, are like toys. i think this mindset of his started with Belos. because whenever the archivists took the baby titans from collector all those years ago, i dont doubt he tried to get them back since he did that with Luz as well. so he knows, to a degree, that you cant just snap your fingers and have everything be all rainbowy and cheery again.

but then, he met philip. and philip likely explained everything to the collector in order to get what he wanted in a more efficient way. one of those things being grimwalkers! clones.

That's probably when it started. i think after the third or fourth grimwalker, Collector made this connection that mortals are similar to toys you can just break and then "fix." Because it's the same exact person! hey! didn't he just disappear? and now he's back?? good as new? wow!!

and after so many years of this, it's likely ingrained in his mind. he pulls the head off of his doll, and then it's back on. That's his example and his understanding.

He doesn't even see the grimwalkers as people after a while. he calls them "those things" and finds amusement in Belos hurting them and lashing out at them. but at least he has the basic understanding that they're mortals, living beings. and i also think that's why he was so angry with Lilith whenever she called King her nephew. Belos called the grimwalkers his nephews, and then he would hurt them and make them disappear. while, to Collector, he did fix them eventually. It was a cycle. a cycle that he didn't want King to go through because King is the last titan and Collector's "best friend."

and because he couldn't make the other baby titans come back, he probably figured that King was the same way. so he wasn't gonna risk anything with his new friend.

and with mortals, he's shown to be careless and even reckless. in Watching and Dreaming, whenever he's showing Luz, Eda, and King his favorite games, they're all very dangerous. maybe not for him, because he can shift his size and control the games with his power, but to them! to them, its dangerous.

Pacman: he literally "ate" Luz and could have badly injured her.

Marbles: he was huge and flicking them around! that's harmful. especially whenever King ran underneath Collector's foot to make them fall, that could have ended very differently for King. for example, if the "marble" he was in wasn't very strong, the impact of Collector stepping on it could have busted it open and—you probably get where im going with that.

jenga: do i even need to explain why this is dangerous? giant blocks. small mortals.

whenever he figures out that they aren't enjoying his games and they're actually angry with him, because they keep messing them up, he gets upset then gets rid of the games and retreats to go cry alone. its like he didn't even register that these games were hurting them or could even kill them. especially since his intention was to Wow them with these games and be their friend.

i think they're just "naturally scary." because a few times, their expression and tone is almost contradicting their intentions. for such: asking for grudgy buddies, talking about tag in Kings Tide, and the "Let me show you some of my favorite games" line.

its a bit of a complicated situation because he needs to be around mortals to improve and grow, but he also doesn't understand anything about them. bit of a personal take here; i didn't like the ending they had for the collector. he'll either be alone, or with some shitty space gods. at least its implied that he visits every so often or holds some contact with King and possibly the others. anyways-

to close this off because i keep getting distracted, he doesn't truly grasp death or the gravity of ANY of his actions. he knows people die, but he also assumes you just fix them and they come back. (that makes me wonder what he thought about the baby titans "disappearing" at first).

like this scene here: he didn't understand that Luz was dead until later on. whenever he says "she's really gone". he also tells Eda(and King)that he doesn't want anyone else to go missing and that he's sorry for everything. "Missing", not Dead. because he doesn't understand yet.

and he likely still doesn't understand what happened because Luz came back in a completely different form/look, much like how the grimwalkers did. dissappearing but coming back later on with a slightly altered appearance. but i think he has some sort of idea of death still since he couldn't "fix" Luz and was heavily reminding himself of the archivists

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alyssasmaddworld · 3 months

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there's this level of dissociation that goes hand in hand with daydreaming and i feel like it's something i wouldn't know how to begin explaining to somebody who's anti-endo.

maladaptive daydreaming is not inherently caused by trauma. it's considered something you use to cope with it. but for a LOT of people, and as confirmed in multiple studies, it is a dissociative disorder. there's even a level of plurality with it.

you have these people in your head, and you cant destroy them. a lot of them can feel like REAL people. you create worlds, plot lines, and you connect with these characters in a way where they slowly become their own being. their own person. how is this ANY different from being plural?

the answer is: it's really not. if you view plural as synonymous with systemhood then maybe i can see why you'd have a problem with the phrasing, but based off of the actual definitions of plural, maladaptive daydreaming fits the criteria.

the next issue that people tend to have with maladaptive daydreaming being considered plural is that maladaptive daydreaming isn't its own disorder. but something doesnt need to be a disorder for it to be significant in the mental health industry.

a common "rebuttle" of endogenic systems is that they "appropriate" other cultures, but what most people making this argument fail to realize is that, this is HOW culture works. western culture is actively affected by the cultures of other areas. do you genuinely believe that theres not a single Buddhist in america practicing tulpulmacy? that this is SOLELY a non-western phenomenon? then why is "traditional traumagenic" mentioned at all, and not JUST traumagenic?

but there are articles that talk about the importance of listening to the internet, and the words they've cultivated. something i've been told is irrelevant because "an endo made that word" IS BEING heard by therapists all across the globe, not just in america.

"the reader is reminded that culture is dynamic rather than static, meaning that just as our understanding of the online community is different today than it was twenty years ago, this will continue to shift and evolve into the future as well"

things CHANGE. research ADVANCES. and with that, we also know that maladaptive daydreaming is BEYOND VALID on the dissociative spectrum. it has ALWAYS been there, it just wasn't considered a disordered behavior before the 2000s.

on top of this, there's a study that further affirms it's place in the endogenic sphere specifically.

despite this, her brain scans showed "great activity in the ventral striatum, the part of the brain that lights up when an alcoholic is shown images of a martini. Frankly it was super strong"

this means she isn't just mind wandering. mind wandering is what people THINK daydreaming is.

"Mind wandering refers to the occurrence of thoughts that are not tied to the immediate environment—thoughts that are not related to a given task at hand"

mind wandering lights up the Default Mode Network side of the brain, the DMN. the DMN controls Autobiographical information, Memories of collection of events and facts about one's self, Self-reference, Referring to traits and descriptions of one's self.

maladaptive daydreaming has its own dissociative absorption, and it affects the brain differently than mind wandering. it's a proper form of dissociation.

and..would you look at that?? spiritual practices are mentioned. i wonder which endogenic system that reminds me of! (much love to sophie!). it's just further credence towards the fact that non-traumatic systems can exist. why else would maladaptive be on the spectrum, honestly?

trauma doesn't CAUSE maladaptive daydreaming. trauma doesnt cause dissociative absorption. they are ALL coping mechanisms as a way to deal with whatever trauma may be going on-- or it can literally be a choice in the sense that you can actively choose to get absorbed into a book, or how you choose to maladaptive daydream. you can let it interfere with your life and become debilitating and disordered (because sometimes people dont WANT to change) but this doesnt mean it's traumatic.

with all this being said, how is this not a valid presentation of plurality?

#pro endo #endogenic #endo friendly #maladaptive daydream

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piercethenix · 4 months

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a very long list of sleep token lyrics that make me feel more religious than i ever did at church

"wont you come and dance in the dark with me? show me what you are i am desperate to know"

"im coiled up like a venomous serpent tangled in your trance and im certain you have got your hooks in me"

"and i dont wanna get in your way but i finally think i can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me"

"and i know i know the way that it goes you get what you give, you reap what you sow and i can see you in my fate. and i know i know i am what i am the mouth of the wolf the eyes of the lamb so darling, will you saturate?"

"lets load the gun. make her eat the tape in the bathroom mirror see if she can guess what a hollow point does to a naked body"

"so flood me like atlantic, weather me to nothing. wash away the blood on my hands"

YOU MAKE ME WISH I COULD DISAPPEARRRRR

"and just like the rain you cast the dust into nothing and wash out the salt from my hands. so touch me again, i feel my shadow dissolving"

"they talk me through the damage, consequence and how its a pain they know they dont understand"

"when the mouth of infinity buries its teeth in me, ill smile through the agony for you. and i know you still bear the weight of your own existence and youll never bear the weight of two"

"well, i know what you want from me. you want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception setting you free. so take what you want and leave"

"rose gold chains, ripped lace, cut glass, blood stains on the collar, please just dont ask"

"give in again and let me lay, my arms belong around you"

"i come as a blade, a sacred guardian. so you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood"

"id turn my walls to gold to bring you home again"

SO SHOW ME THAT WHICH I CANNOT SEE EVEN IF IT HURTS ME EVEN IF I CANT SLEEP OH AND THOUGH WE ACT OUT OF OUR HOLY DUTY TO BE CONSTANTLY AWAAAKKEEEE YOUVE GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

"and im not here to be the savior you long for, only the one you dont. are you watching me with eyes of a predator as you move towards the door?"

"show me those pretty white jaws show me where the delicate stops show me what youve lost and why youre always taking it slow show me what wounds youve got show me love"

"i am the shadow, youre a passenger. i am the intake of breath so sharp and i know you better. just want to know you better"

"if you want to give then give me all that you can give all your darkest impules and if you want to give me anything then give give in again"

"ill tear the fibre from the filamemt, ill be the limit of your light again. i want to taste you better i want to taste you better. i will be watching for your enemies, to let them know that they contend with me"

"between the second hand smoke and the glass on the street you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave. you say you want me but you know im not what you need but i am"

IF YOU HAD A PROBLEM THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE YOU STARTED GETTING ALL AGGRESSIVE AND CONTROLLING YOU ONLY DRINK THE WATER WHEN YOU THINK ITS HOLY SO KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD OR WE WILL BOTH BE HERE FOREVERRRR

"nevermind the death threats parting at the door wed rather be six feet under than be lonely"

WHY ARE YOU NEEEEVERR REAL THE SHIFTING STATES YOU FOLLOW ME THROUGH UNNNREVEALED

"yet in reverse you are all my symmetry, a parallel i would lay my life on. so if your wings wont find you heaven i will bring it down like an ancient bygone"

"i know for the last time, you will not be mine. so give me the night, the night, the night"

"and i hate who i have become (i might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody)"

"most days you reach for safety. remain calm, forget that you know me"

DARLING IM NOTICING YOUR FLAWS THEYRE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME, KNOW IT

"it seems your heart is locked up and i still get the combination wrong. or are you simply waiting to save your love for someone i am not?"

"is that a glint in your eye? is that a blade in your palm? well, i am yours tonight so will you lay in my arms?"

"i want to feel my stars align again, even if the earth breaks like burnt skin and the heavens just wont open up for me. would you invite me in again? wont you pay for your arrogance? wont you show me your weakness?"

#sleep token #sleep token lyrics #vessel is my lord and savior

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pastanest · 1 year

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if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

part one can be found here

Gone - Part Two

Spencer blinked rapidly, his brain feeling life kicked back into it for the first time in two years as he storms into Hotch’s office, barging in without knocking on the door and slamming the piece of paper on his desk. Aaron’s eyes widen as he reads it.

“Where did you-“

Spencer cuts him off. “It was on my desk this morning. You know what day it is, this isnt a coincidence.”

He nods. “We can open the case back up, I’ll inform the team.” Aaron stands to his feet, but Spencer shakes his head.

“No, we cant. Last time we got involved, the unsub went dormant and has only come back 2 years on, when he knows we arent working on the case, when he thinks I’ve given up. He’s taunting me.”

Aaron‘s eyebrows furrow with concern. “What are you suggesting we do?”

Spencer begins to explain. “We have to act like nothing has happened. Im going to keep this note in an evidence bag inside my jacket, but when I walk out of this room we are going to act like we are talking about something completely different. We dont know how much this guy can see, we dont know how he operates, but by sending this letter he’s revealed one thing about himself.”

“And what is that?” Hotch questions.

“He wants to torture me. The first letter was sent to (Y/N)-“ His throat dries up just saying your name, he clears his throat with a cough and continues. “-because he knew that would get my attention, the rest of the letters were then sent to me because he knew I was gripping onto his every word. He wants me to be the only one thinking about this case, he wants to torment me while thinking Im getting no help from any of you. Our best shot at getting more information is to continue to act like nothing has changed, then he might send further clues.” Spencer explains.

Hotch nods. “I understand. This case is completely under your control, I’ll leave it up to you whether you decide to tell the rest of the team about this.”

“Thank you, I’ll tell them as discretely as I can.” Spencer turns to leave, but Aaron has more to say.

“As much as this unsub wants you to feel like this is hopeless, it isnt, Reid. This is a really good sign.”

And for the first time in two years, Spencer cracks a smile. “I know.”

Over the course of the next week, Spencer found ways to inform the team of what was going on. He managed to bring you up in conversation in a way that only one person would recognise. Spencer visited Penelope and he called her adorable, a word that (Y/N) used to describe her every time she saw her. Tears entered Garcia’s eyes and Spencer nodded at her, so she nodded back.

“Adorable, but quiet.” He clarified, and he could see the momentary confusion in her eyes before she made the connection.

“Only quiet when I have to be!” She chirped back, and Spencer knew she’d understood. Something new had happened with you, but she had to keep quiet about it.

“Does the rest of the team know how adorable you are?” He asked, already knowing the answer to his coded question.

“No..?” She said, unsure.

He nodded and smiled. “You should tell them.”

There was no way of telling what the unsub was capable of, whether he was listening or watching, but everyone had to be cautious of what they said. He could tell when the team began finding out through Garcia, because they all gave him knowing, excited smiles.

Sure enough, Spencer’s theory was correct. When he returned from the next case a week later, another note from the unsub was waiting for him on his desk.

“I’ll make sure Juliet knows you’ve given up. She’ll be with me forever.”

That told him you were still alive, he couldnt believe the unsub had willingly given such information out of sheer desperation for Spencer to pay attention to him and give him a reaction. He wanted Spencer to react so that he could go dormant again and torture him further, so Spencer had to act like he wasnt at all excited. He went to Hotch’s office again and showed him the note.

“She’s alive!”

Aaron hugged him and the two man laughed together. The situation was funny in the sense that they were successfully tricking the unsub into giving them more information, but the laugh wasnt one of humour, it was one of relief. Obviously, everyone had hoped that you were alive, but knowing for certain that you were was the best news Spencer could have possibly gotten.

He went to visit Garcia in her office again straight after.

“Guess what else you are Penelope.” Spencer said, accidentally startling her.

“What?” She asked eagerly, knowing he was going to give her another coded message that gave an update on you.

“Adorable...and alive.”

Penelope gasped, standing from her seat and running over to Spencer, who hugged her and hid his beaming smile in her shoulder.

“Thank you.” She replied, acting as though him calling her alive was a compliment, in case anyone was listening.

“I’ll make sure everyone knows.” She whispered to him, too quiet for anything else to pick up what she’d said.

When Spencer came out of the bathroom that day, Derek approached him and pulled him into a headlock that anyone else would have viewed as him messing around with him, but there was so much more meaning behind it. It made Spencer laugh, much like the interaction would have done 2 years ago. It was this hidden sense of things starting to go back to normal, hope restored.

The unsub makes a truly fatal mistake in his next delivery. This time it isnt a letter, but a gift, a small box. Spencer opens it and finds a tape inside. A tape gives a clue to the unsub’s age. Penelope manages to find a tape player for him and he takes it into one of the interrogation rooms. There is no image, it‘s only audio.

“Juuuuuliet, tell him what you want him to know.” The unsub was so desperate for attention that he made no attempt to mask his voice at all.

“You’ve given up.” Spencer chokes upon hearing your voice for the first time in two years. “Im staying here forever. I cant believe you would leave me here.” Your voice was hoarse and you were sniffling, he knows you had been crying.

That was all that was on the tape, so, where is this fatal mistake, I hear you ask? Well, Doctor Spencer Reid is very smart, but the thing is, so are you. At a few intervals in that message, you coughed, and when you did, you whispered things that would be unintelligible to anyone who didnt remember absolutely everything about your voice. And the only person in your life with the memory capacity to recall every single minute detail about your voice, happened to be the one the tape was delivered to.

Notes. That was the first thing you whispered, he knew you were referring to the post-it notes, telling him the man you’d written about seeing was the one who had taken you.

‘15m’ was the next thing you whispered. You likely wouldnt have been able to tell how many miles or metres you had travelled, and the only other value for ‘M’ that was useful in this scenario was minutes. 15 minutes away from your home, you’d counted the minutes it took for you to get to where you are now, and for two years you have held onto that.

Wear, that was the last thing you whispered in a cough, and that was the most difficult one for Spencer to figure out. It took a whole 7 seconds. Were you wearing something in particular? It cant be that. Could you have meant where? But that gives no clue. Ware! As in warehouse! That has to be it!

With no time and nothing to lose, Spencer bolts back to Hotch to fill him in on everything he’s figured out. The team meets at the round table to officially re-open the case, and Penelope starts searching for warehouses in a 15 minute distance from your home. Spencer is beyond frustrated at how quickly Penelope finds where you are, he cant believe that all this time you were held captive by someone foolish enough to only keep you 15 minutes away. But maybe that makes the unsub the opposite of a fool, because even a detail as small as the actual distance between you and Spencer is meant to torture him, knowing that you were so close by all this time is another wound to him. The team pile into separate vehicles, all heading to the same warehouse, and on the way there Spencer begins to overthink. What if you really do think he’s given up? What if you’ve given up on him? What if you dont love him anymo-

Derek nudges Spencer. “Hey, kid, I can see you doubting yourself in your own head just by the look on your face, stop it. She’s gonna have missed you just as much as you’ve missed her.”

The suddenly insecure Spencer looks to his friend for answers. “You really think so?”

Derek smiles. “I know so, she’s always been crazy about you, man.”

This reassures him, and he settles back into his seat with a deep breath, watching the streets blur by as he makes his way to you.

Thanks to the speed they were allowed to drive, the team makes it to the warehouse in under 15 minutes, and they position themselves at different entrances to the building. Derek kicks down the main door and Spencer runs in, gun aimed and ready to fire, but he falters. Because directly in front of him, little more than a few steps away, tied to a chair, is you. Spencer stumbles over to you and collapses to his knees in front of you, pulling you into his arms as you both sob into each other.

“Spencer, Spencer oh my god you’re here, I’ve missed you so much!” You cry, and he’s quick to untie you so that he can hold you again.

“I never stopped looking (Y/N), not even for a second!” Spencer tells you, pulling away enough for you to see his face so that you know he isnt lying, but you can tell he’s not.

“I know, I know! I never stopped believing you’d come and get me.” You reassure him, smiling for the first time in two years, and despite being muddy, bloody, bruised and beaten, Spencer is absolutely certain that you have never looked more beautiful.

An ambulance is called to the scene and you’re assisted onto a stretcher, while Rossi and Derek bring a handcuffed man out of the warehouse. Spencer sees red as he strides over to the middle aged, seedy, stubbly man that held you captive.

“Ah, Spencer Reid, I was wondering when we’d finally meet. How’s my Juliet?”

Spencer is not going to let that smug tone continue to live.

“She is not yours. I’d rather you called her Juliet than her real name, because if you breathed so much as half a syllable of that I would tear you limb from limb.” Spencer seethes.

The monster leans closer. “I ruined her.”

Spencer laughs darkly. “Do you really think that the woman Im in love with would let herself be ruined by some middle-aged, poor-excuse-for-both-a-Romeo-impersonator-and-a-killer, pervert? You underestimated her, and you underestimated me. We won.”

The kidnapper rolls his eyes, but Spencer can tell he’s taken aback. “I wont get much time for this, and once Im out, you’ll rue the day you insulted me!”

“Tell that to the pictures of little girls and boys we found under your bed upstairs! Along with letters about tax evasion, fraud accusations, the list goes on.” JJ calls as she makes her way out of the warehouse with a stack of papers in her hands.

Spencer takes a step closer to the man, towering over him and speaking in a low voice with wrath unmatched. “I dont know what your name is, and frankly, I dont care. You are going to prison for a long time, I will make sure of that. And once you’re in prison, I will find out which one, and I will personally deliver the message to every single one of your inmates that you are a pathetic pedophile low life who thought he could challenge me.”

Spencer turns away from him and starts walking towards the ambulance, but the idiot speaks up again and stops him dead in his tracks.

“She’ll be mine again, Agent Reid, and that’s a promise!”

Spencer is back in front of him in an instant. “I’ll also make sure to inform your inmates that Im the one who broke your nose.”

The scum frowns in confusion. “What?”

And just like that, Spencer’s swift right hook pummels the man’s nose.

“It’s Doctor Reid.” He tells him, voice low.

“For the record, we’ll say that happened when we arrested him.” Rossi says, and Derek nods.

Finally, Spencer runs back to you, sitting at your side in the ambulance as you lie on the stretcher. You smile at the sight of him.

“Hey love.” You greet him

“Hi sweetheart, sorry Im late, I had to break someone’s nose.” Spencer replies, his voice far softer than it had been a few seconds ago.

You chuckle and take ahold of his hand. “Of course you did.”

Spencer’s hands wrap around yours and bring it to his lips so that he can kiss each of your knuckles, so softly you barely feel it, but you do. Placing your hand against his clothed chest, you raise an eyebrow.

“Did you start wearing necklaces while I’ve been gone?”

Spencer’s eyes widen as he realises what you’re referring to. “N-No!”

Your curious expression intensifies as you reach around his neck to tug the chain out from under his shirt. “Then what’s-oh my goodness, Spencer...what’s this?”

In your hand is the engagement ring that Spencer planned to give you, and has been wearing every single day since you were taken.

“I-I was planning to ask before, but then everything got in the way and I was going to ask once I came back from that case, and then you were gone so I kept it because I didnt know what else to do with it and it felt like part of you was with me even though you’d never even seen it let alone worn it but I dont think this is the right moment to ask so maybe if we just-“

“Yes.” You cut him off.

Spencer feels all words escape him, and all he can manage in response is a stuttered, “Wh-Wha?”

You giggle. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Spence.”

Attempting to lean up on your arms to reach him, you hiss and fall back down in pain, but Spencer catches you before you hit the stretcher and lowers himself to capture your lips with his.

You passed out from exhaustion a few moments later, and Spencer sat beside you holding your hand as you slept. She wants to marry me, the words repeat themselves in his head like a mantra, and he finds himself utterly dumbfounded. How he managed to woo a heart as beautiful as yours, he doesnt know. He beamed all the way to the hospital but naturally, the moment you woke up, Spencer was sure he’d misheard you.

“Are you positive you said you would marry me?”

“Yes, Spence.”

“Do you actually want to marry me?”

“Yes, Spence.”

“Are you completely and utterly 100% sure about that?”

“Spence.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #x reader #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #headcannon

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