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#incorrect mortal instruments quotes
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Clary: People do, don't they? Mix up love and possession.
Jace: Yeah, they do.
Clary: I don't think that should be possible. I mean, they're opposites, really. Love and ownership.
Jace: Yeah.
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Thorn: The Senate Guard has a plan. Fox: The Senate Guard has the collective intelligence of a pineapple.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 6 months
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Cleric: Why are you always trying to get yourself killed? Barbarian: It's my job. Cleric: It's a hazard of your job. At least for most adventurers. For you it seems to be the purpose.
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the-mortal-incorrects · 3 months
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Clary: Jace would throw himself in front of a car for you. Alec: Jace would throw himself in front of a car just for fun.
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dayque · 3 months
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Alec: Jace, you can't told my children that the solution for their problems is to cry dramatically in the shower or in the rain and then go out to kill something.
Jace: why not?
Magnus: *to himself* Oh, Herondales...
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kaitcreates · 10 months
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*All the TMI gang on hospital beds with an arm broken* Maryse: What happened?! Simon: We were climbing up stairs, I told Jace he should go faster and he turned around and pushed me Alec: I was behind Simon when Jace pushed him and fell on me Jace: Magnus pushed me when Alec got buried under Simon. Isabelle: I tried to push Jace, but Magnus had already pushed him so when I leaned down to do it I accidentally fell down. Magnus: She tried to hold me to save herself but ended up draging me down too. Clary: I was at the top of the stairs when all that happened, I saw them and laughed so hard I accidentally fell. Maia: I’m not hurt, I just heard there was free grape juice here.
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*after Malec break-up*
Jace: Hey, I am going to the store, do you want anything?
Alec, in tears: Magnus...
Jace, turning his pockets inside out: Dude, I have like... 5 dollars.
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mangoob · 5 months
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It took five years and everyone banging their heads against a wall for him and Simon to get together
Text is from a fuckin quora video I watched that place is wild
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unicornswithbowties · 6 months
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tessa: and if jem told you to jump off a cliff would you do it?
will: [looks at jem]
jem: [shakes his head]
will: no, i would not
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fluffyballme · 11 days
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so here’s my take on this meme but main couples in TMI
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jace and clary
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magnus and alec
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simon and izzy
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peupeugunn · 1 year
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magnus, holding up a snake: found this baby outside! what do we name him?
jace: what the fUCK—
alec: william snakespeare.
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sky-neverending · 9 months
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Magnus: “Babe. Babe. Babe!”
Alec: “Huh?”
Magnus: “Were you listening to what I said?”
Alec: “Uh…. Yeah. Go with the blue one.”
Magnus: “I know you weren’t listening. Because there isn’t a blue one!”
Alec:
Alec: “Choose the blue one anyway.”
Magnus: “I’m not choosing the blue one- hey wait.”
Alec: “Waiting.”
Magnus: “The blue one would bring out my legs best, don’t you think?”
Alec: “I thought you said there wasn’t a blue one.”
Magnus: “There is now, darling. Keep up.”
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Lyon: Once someone asked me what I thought had turned me gay.
Gray: I hope you told them you were bitten by a gay spider.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 6 months
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Paladin: When Rogue says “enterprising,” they mean “morally deficient.” Rogue: No, I mean enterprising. When I mean morally deficient, I say, “Now that’s something I would have done.”
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the-mortal-incorrects · 4 months
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Magnus, dramatically flopping onto Alec’s lap: Baby, tell me I’m pretty. Alec, smiling lovingly: You’re pretty fucking annoying is what you are.
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dayque · 3 months
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Izzy: So... Who was the first one to know about the pregnancy?
Jace: It was me, obviously
Simon: What are you talking about? I am her Parabatai, I accompanied her to buy the test at the pharmacy
Jace: But I was with her when we read the result!
Clary: Actually...
Jace and Simon: WHAT?
Clary: The first one to know was Alec...
Jace: TRAITOR
Simon: Alec?
Alec: I just said you looked fat as a pregnant, I didn't think you were seriously pregnant.
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