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connieshands · 9 months

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Conrad Veidt Painting Mystery Updates

After a lot of back and forth I am now the proud owner of this piece and holy shit it is so much more beautiful in person!

Regarding the mystery surrounding his name on the frame below the cutoff are a few thoughts I have:

the name is on the frame, not the painting itself. So maybe the name has nothing to do with the portrait, however I highly doubt it's a totally separate thing. The painting is nailed in there and the nails look old and rusty. My assumption is the picture was nailed on there when it was finished

The name has a lot of similarities to his own signature. I think there is a good chance it came from his hand. Here is my analysis on this:

(Keep in mind, I am an absolute amateur, so don't take anything I say too seriously)

If we compare the name on the frame to a signature from the same year we can see that especially the beginning 4 letters have a lot in common with the autograph: The C is missing the loop up top, but is generally slanted the same way and characteristicly for his hand the lower part rather than curling up again moves in a right direction. The V is the most noticable. It has the typical little hook on the left leg and also the very far reaching right leg thats stretches over the e. That letter on the other hand is not quite as clear. The loop of the e does not start out on as high of a point than the one on the autograph. However the general proportions of the e with the relatively high loop are similar and the way it continues into the i and the i in general are practically the same as in Connie's signature. Now the dt and the 22 is where the similarities stop. The dt in Connies signatures are always right-leaning, while the ones on the frame lean left. the 22 also doesn't look similar at all.

So in conclusion - I am optimistic it could be his signature, given the many similarities, but we cannot be sure yet. We also have to keep in mind that the name on the frame is barely 5mm tall and written in wood and on a slight slope, so how similar to writing on paper can that really be?

regarding the writing next to the name and date - I have no idea what it sais. It could say Berlin, but it's really hard to make out, even irl.

So, assuming he wrote this - what are the options? Could it just have been a separate frame of his or a painting he owned- not really. What weirdo signs his own frame or a painting he bought? And with a date at that.

Could it have been an autograph on a painting made by a fan? I don't think so. He did not write out the full Conrad, which he always did on his autographs. Also the name is super tiny. Why would he have made it so incredibly small when signing something?

I currently think the option that he made this painting is one of the most realistic

There are fingerprints in the back of the painting in the paint. Almost certainly produced when making the painting. So if this was really done by Connie I might have HIS FINGERPRINTS !!! Hgahdnfkndjendndndj

I need outside perspective here. Is all this just wishful thinking on my part? What are other possibilities this could be, keeping in mind the facts I just told you? Assuming the signature is not done by him. Who could have made it and why?

The painting smells like cigarettes. I know that that has nothing to do with anything I just wanted you to know.

The seller is very desinterested in the whole thing and I could barley get him to talk about anything regarding the painting. I'm still hoping to get an answer to my question of where he got it from but I am not very confident in that regard.

I have already contacted a historian I personally know and he gave me the helpful tip that to find anything out about it I should probably go the Feininger route, as he is much more known today. So I guess I'll be reading into him and contacting Feininger experts.

If anyone else has any other leads or ideas or wants to assist me in my journey to finding out more about this painting please don't hesitate to contact me either here or on the Connie Discord I made.

That's it for now. I'm so excited to dig into this mystery!

#conrad veidt #conrad veidt painting #lyonel feininger

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jonathanbiers · 1 year

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tagged by @flashyysins, @cheatghost, @stevethehairington today and @thefreakandthehair, @sharpbutsoft, @henrystars, and @flashyysins again during the first little wave this was going around

rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words

except i love to break the rules, and i don't actually remember which wip i wrote in last because i haven't been able to write anything in over a week, thanks to a fun mix of irl-related anxiety and a bunch of other small silly reasons. so i'm just going to post a whole ass scene snippet of the one i think i worked on most recently. as a treat. ghfjdgkfd

and look, i'm pretty sure everyone in this gotdamn fandom has been tagged already, and i don't know who's done it yet and hasn't - if you see this and you haven't been tagged yet, MUTUALS OR NOT, THIS IS ME TAGGING YOU! scene snippet under the break because nsfw etc etc all of my active wips are porn rn oooops.

“What’ll you do about it, huh?” Eddie dips a fingertip past Steve’s rim, just to the first knuckle before pulling back and doing it again. He’s close to forgetting where they are, that he can’t really fuck Steve how he wants here, they have to be at least kind of quiet. Doesn’t mean he can’t tease him a little in the process, though—if anything, with the way Steve's been acting all night, he figures he’s earned it. Instead of answering, Steve merely pushes his hips back again. Eddie doesn’t stop him this time; instead, he keeps his hand still, adds in a second finger along with the first. “Look at you,” he murmurs, free hand drifting down to rub himself through his pants. “Don’t even need to do anything. Gonna fuck yourself like this on my dick, too?” “If I have to,” Steve bites, his tone almost bitchy. It just makes Eddie want to see how far he can push him; he presses his fingers in a bit more, curling them forward just enough, and has to bite back a smile at the noise Steve makes. “Dick,” he grumbles, all the heat gone from his voice entirely.

#tag games #eddie is being a little bit mean in this one but to be fair so is steve <3 #*writing

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moonlightknightess · 1 year

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Raising from my grave to wish everybody who get to see this a Happy New Year's Eve!

This year was very especial to me, I got to meet all kinds of new people both here and irl so I'm very happy about it!

I really wanna thank you all for beaing with me! Not too long ago I got 250 likes on all the posts I have ever done so far, which is 250 way more than I thought I would get by doing what I was doing and writting about what I was writting! So yeah, I really wish all of you my best wishes and hope this year treated you well, and that the next one treats you even better!

I also did this little EreMikaSasha thingy for these holidays, but to be honest it barely has to do with the holidays at all lmao, just the setting I guess, I just wanted to write about them kissing each toher i'm sorry lol

No smut btw, sorry!

Kinda rushed this so not proof read!

She was never good when it came to farewells

It's not like she was clingy or something like that, quite the opposite actually, if she has to compare herself with those two, she was probably the one level headed one in these kind of situations

It was not that hard to be fair, Sasha can be overwhelming whenever she gets sent outside the city, always sick worried about her every time she has to leave and a crying mess when she comes back, almost making her feel like a soldier coming home from a long war

And even if Eren puts his best facade of "everything is alright!" on the days before her departure, she can perfectly feel the way he holds her in his arms every time he hugs her goodbye, sometimes wrapping her in a tight hug that makes her believe he would straight up stop her from taking her flight

She doesn’t want to imagine how they would react when something really serious happens and she has to leave them

Still, it was not like she liked it either

There is nothing that hurts her more than the prospect of being separated from her loved ones, even worse on especial holidays like christmas, and especially when she gets to see her girlfriend quietly sobbing because of it

- Come on now, don't be sad… - She tried to comfort her, arm wrapped around her shoulders in a half hug, patting her head as she did so, her other arm carrying her baggage as they stood on in front of the airport gates - It's just gonna be a week -

.- I know! - She whined, face nuzzling on her neck making it wet with her tears, hands grabbing her by the trench coat she was wearing tightly - It's just… it's just that I don't want to spend christmas without you -

She could understand that, afterall, this would be their first christmas together, they all were supposed to spend ir at Sasha's place in her small town in the mountains along her family, but alas, she was called for work because of one of her coworkers calling sick, with Eren getting a call from his hospital too because of the sudden rise of the pandemic virus that have been around for a couple of years already, requiring the help of all their staff, all of it just a few days before they were able to leave

.- I know… - She left the bag on the floor and used both her hands to erase her tears away, watery eyes looking at her in a way that makes her look so stunning and cute at the same time - Look on the bright side, you will get to spend Christmas with your family! Don't you miss them? -

.- Of course I do! - She answered as if the question offended her, her lips pouting just a little as she held her more tightly - But it's not the same! You two were supposed to meet my parents! Mom was supposed to fan all over your asian beautyness and Dad would lecture Eren about how to treat his "little princess" as he threatens him with his shotgun! It was gonna be perfect! But now everything is ruined… -

It breaks her heart a little to see her girlfriend like this, it really looked like she was looking up for this trip for so long, it was going to be the first time they met her parents too, a year worth of planning ending in nothing

.- I understand - She didn't stop her hands from fondling her face gently, thumbs dragging themselves over the dry path her tears made in an attempt to alleviate her - We are as upset about it as you, trust me… This is all just unfair and we can only be sorry for it - it didn't help that Eren was still called for work today too, his upper heads not allowing him to go with them to at least bid her farewell

.- Just take it as an opportunity to spend holidays with your family, everyone needs quality time alone too, alright? - She holds her hands with her own as she speaks, trying to convey what she tries to say in the best way she could - Before you know it you will be here with us, and then we will spend New Years Eve together at Armin’s place -

Sasha just sniffed a little before she controlled herself, hands taking into Mikasa's warmth as her cheeks took a pretty red shade, the same one that seems to take over her whenever she realizes she was probably embarrassing herself, the people around them passing to make their way inside the airport suddenly making her feel shy

- Y-yeah, you are right - She separated from Mikasa just a little, hands still linked together - I’m just being silly here, sorry -

- Don’t be - Mikasa reassured - I love it when you get like this, it’s adorable -

She really does have something for emotional people huh

Sasha just giggled in response, a small cute laugh that served to take her out of her own bad mood, at least to make all this departure thing more bearable for her

Before she could even say something else, the sound of nearby speakers calling for everyone in Sasha’s flight to start boarding stopped her, the crowd of people making their way to the gates growing larger the more time passes

- I guess this is it - Sasha said, her hand reaching for her bag and getting ready to go- Bid Eren my farewells for me! -

And before she could even say something else, Mikasa robbed the words out of her, she lowered herself on the spur of the moment to seal her lips on her owns, the flavor of her cherry red lipstick spreading through her mouth as everything around them seemed to fade into nothingness, the harsh cold no match to the fire that ignited inside her, expanding itself larger the more she felt Sasha raise herself higher, pressing against her harder and robbing the air out of her lungs

It was nothing more than their lips pressing together, and yet the feeling behind it were so strong she was able to convey them, to feel the desperation of missing her even it was gonna be for a week, to feel the gratitude emanating from her with breath intake she had to take before she kept going, or to feel the reassurance that she shared with her to truly express how everything was going to be alright once she comes back

When she finally relents once and for all and gets to see her frustrated face shine brighter, that’s the moment she realizes that she is going to miss her more than she thought she would, her lips already missing hers and her hands missing the warmth they provided to hold her baggage

- I will! - She answers, and just realizing she was running late already, she spins on her heels to rush her way to her flight, losing her sight once has to take a turn in a corner…

- What do you mean Sasha kisses better than me? -

It was already bad enough how his job was making him work like something lower than a slave, almost making him go attending patients seventy-two hours non-stop if it wasn't for the small breaks he had to take in order to survive all of that, let alone taking care of patients infected with a virus capable of taking his life at any moment

Still, he could stand it because it was his job, because he was needed and because it’s the best thing he could do

It was sort of a hassle to to come already spent from work and help her girlfriend to get things done for when their other girlfriend comes home from a week long trip to her parents home, getting things ready as they made the dinner she enjoys the most as a well deserved welcome gift

Still, he could stand it because he simply felt good doing something for her, because they did out of love

But there is so much he could stand, the last straw that broke the camel’s back coming in the form of his very same girlfriend admitting right in front of his face that his competitio- their lover kissed better than him

- I didn’t say that - She answered half heartedly, missing some ingredients in a bowl, not even turning in his direction at his allegation

How dare she!

- Yes you did! - He pointed at her with the same knife he was using to cut the vegetables, some cube of cucumber stuck in its edge flying to her direction at the motion of his movements - You said her kisses are sweeter! -

- So? It’s the truth - She may as well want to take a reaction out of him, considering the snarky smile she made, as if she was trying to taunt him - Still, I never said they were better than yours -

- But you like them better, isn’t it? - He couldn’t help it, he knew better than anyone he was being petty about such a nonsensical topic, but the fact that he was beaten at something he took pride off was a huge blow for him, something that he could never let happen

The silence that followed just made him wandering mind get worse

- … Why do you even say they are sweeter than mine? -

Hes doesn’t know his her small laugh was to mock him or if it was just because she found their whole discussion funny, probably the latter if he has to guess, it’s not like her to make fun of him in a malicious way

- I don’t know - She answers as she finally turns in his direction, not stopping from mixing the ingredients as she looks at him, flor coating some of the sides of her face that makes her look so adorably, the apron she was wearing not helping either - Maybe it’s because whenever she kisses me she tries to show her love for me instead of trying to devour my mouth perhaps? -

- Wha- But you always liked them like that! - He can perfectly tell the way she gasps out of surprise whenever he invades her mouth, he is the prime witness of the nail marks she leaves on his forearm whenever he kisses her by surprise, the lovesick expression she makes when he finally lets her off the hook will always be in his mind

There was no way he wasn’t his favorite!

Besides, it’s not like Sasha’s kisses were that big of a deal, right? He had kissed her too! They are nice, he wasn't gonna lie, he also loves to take her by surprise, and especially loves how she has to bring him down by the neck to make their lips meet

But he was the better kisser out of the two! There was no way he was losing to her!

- I know - She gets closer to him, raising on her feet just to place a small peck on his cheek as an offer of peace, quickly turning on her feet to get some things from the counter of the kitchen - And I wouldn’t change it at all, Eren. It’s just that… you are too overwhelming sometimes -

He doesn’t know if he should take that as a compliment or not, still so confused about the whole thing and the lack of response he got from her

He can be sweet too! Just because he chooses not to doesn’t mean he is incapable of it!

Before he decided to be grumpy about it for the rest of the day, the sight of the Spray Cream meant for some dessert sitting right next to her gave him and a idea, one that he has always wanted to try for some time now but that served as a perfect excuse to try now

He snatches the bottle from her, and before she could complain about anything, he sprays a small amount of it on his tongue, making it sit perfectly on it before he shoves himself against Mikasa’s mouth already open to lecture him, the soft drag of his tongue through her whole mouth making her stab her nails on his forearms as he perfectly knows how, the sweet flavor of the cream spreading through their mouths, not leaving a single spot untouched, a soft moan leaving her lips the moment their tongues wrapped together in the only way that gets him worked up

His pride seems to heal in the way she tries to prolong their lip-lock despite him wanting to get it done, her teeth clamping a little on his lower lips before she finally breaks out for air, making the cutest pants for air he as ever seen someone do (right on pair with Sasha’s one of course)

- What do you say now? - He taunts this time, red taking all over his cheeks and his ears as he gets to see her just as red, if not more

- Sweeter, right? -

There was so many things she missed about them from the time she spent holidays with her parents

She missed the long nights she would spend with Mikasa talking about nothing and everything at the same time, just getting lost in the void her pretty onyx eyes created whenever she looked at them for too long

She missed the playful fights she would have with Eren for everything, always making her day at least a little bit more interesting now that her practices were off and she had nothing more to do than to fool around with him

She missed the shared activities they all would do, call it having dates whenever the world allowed them too or just spent the night snuggled all together, just enjoying each other's presence with a move playing on the background

And yet, there was so much she could miss about them, her family time making her realize about how much enjoyable it could be to be just herself, to be truly alone from their presence and still being able to look things in a bright way

To be fair, it wasn’t Mikasa’s fault Eren could be a pain in the ass sometimes

Okay, it may be because she spoiled him way too much, but still

There was simply not fix for this man at all

- I’m getting Mikasa’s midnight kiss - He said as a matter of a fact, his mouth dragging every word as the booze he has been drinking affects him more and more, his breath smelling like a entire bar already

- You wished - She answers back as she squishes his face with her hand, seated on his lap as the people around her seem to enjoy themselves, the two of them crashing on Armin’s couch in the living room - She prefers me after all… My kisses are sweeter, right? -

- Stop it! - He yells, and she can’t help but laugh at his expense, ever since Mikasa told her what happened between them at the same night she came back she hasn’t stopped bothering him - You weren’t supposed to know about it! -

- Yeah sure - She shrugs him off, her eyes searching for Mikasa who has been missing ever since Armin’s girlfriend took her, she was the one who usually deals with his tipsy ass, but know that she is the only one with him at the moment she can’t just leave him alone

- And just to let you know, she still loves mine - It was actually kind of funny to talk to him when he was like this, so out of his mind to the point he would start talking all about how his patients were all assholes and complain about his work and suddenly start to tell her how her bangs made her look cute

It was cute in a weird way, and weird in a cute way

- Yes, Eren, I’m also sure Armin liked the way you kissed him that time when we were playing spin the bottle -

- You were the one to dared me to! -

- Well you were the one who took the dare! -

- It sounds like you are jealous to me -

- … Yeah, you are right, I really wanted to kiss Armin too! -

She can’t tell if the disgusted like expression he does in genuine or not, but it makes her giggle, messing up with him when he is all tipsy is always fun for her as long as he doesn’t go overboard, the last thing she needs is a drunk asshole who looks for fights with anyone that dares to talk to her

- … I’m the only one you are supposed to want to kiss… Besides Mika of course - He holds her carefully in a hug, as if fearing to break her if he holds too hard or too tight, and for some reason it makes her want to kiss him too

- Well… - She raises herself from his embrace and takes into the sight of his poor boyfriend, hair already sticking in every direction despite her efforts for knitting it in the man bun he likes so much, hand setting themselves on his chest for leverage - I guess I can show you why Mikasa chose me -

She crashes her lips to his own as he opens them to respond, her hands never leaving his chest as he wraps his around her waist, deepening their kiss the more he brings her closer and the more she moves her lips on his

It takes her a little to dominate him, to stop him from trying to get the upper hand as she merely shuts his every attempt down, but when she does it’s only when she goes all out, her lips deepening their lip lock as she leaves featherly kisses on his lips and on his cheeks, slowly staining him in her red lipstick

It takes her not time to make him putty in her hands, the occasional drag of their tongues together and the way she caressed his chest as she did so serving to put him in a relaxed state that only makes him want to receive more, rather than take the initiative, the soft dance their tongues did robbing the strength out of him, and the occasional pecks on his neck making him gasp

Hell, if this is what it feels like to be dominant one she may as well try it more

- So? - She teases him once she is done, taking into the sight of his breath all labored, trying to not laugh at the awestruck expression he was making at her, eyes widened to their limits as she uses his shoulder as a pillow - Sweeter, right? -

Shame takes over his face at her innuendo, and this time she can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly when he looks in the other direction, only to follow him and find their missing peace right next to them, a mistletoe on her hand making it hang above them, probably done while she was trying to show Eren who was the best

- It was about time - She teases - You both look cuter when you are making out instead of arguing… -

Yeah, she really wishes she gets to spend the rest of the New Years Eve she has left to live with them

#eremika #mikasasha #eresasha #aot fluff #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #eremikasasha drabble #eremikasasha

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blackholelynn · 2 years

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Your Protection - Part Seven

<- Read Part Six

Summary: You work as a cashier in a small convenience store, and your days are completely, painfully normal. After a particularly bad run-in with a rude customer, your life gets flipped upside down, and the only one who you can count on ends up being a complete stranger – Dean Winchester.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of drowning, loss/grief, rude/abusive customer interaction, swearing – these warnings are for this series of parts as a whole, so while some of these warnings may not apply on this part, they will apply for future parts

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: It's hard to believe, but we're at the end! I had only planned for 7 parts of this, but I'm already starting the planning for the sequel. I can't say when it will be done due to irl responsibilities I've had lately, but I hope to have it finished as soon as possible! Thank you all so much for reading!! 🥰

(also very sorry for the last part not being uploaded on Sunday, the previously mentioned irl responsibilities have been kicking my ass a bit lol)

Series Tag List: @leigh70

Supernatural Tag List: @hobby27

Also cross-posted to my AO3 account, you can read it here!

~~~

The motel room was silent as the two brothers packed their belongings into their bags. Another hunt was done, another monster was killed, but there was no celebration. Instead, Sam kept a wary eye on his older brother, who was white-knuckling everything he picked up, throwing it harshly into his bag.

“You know, we could stay–”

Dean interrupted his brother, turning to give him a severe glare. “Don’t. Don’t do the whole Sam thing where you try and make me talk it out.”

“Dean, she almost died for this hunt! The least we can do is stay until we know she’s better.” Sam’s packing was wholly forgotten, his attention entirely focused on his brother, who seemed to be near ready to crack. “She’s called you four times.”

“I know,” Dean answered, his voice cracking. He turned back to throw more clothes into the duffel sitting at the end of his bed, trying to ignore Sam’s frustratingly imploring gaze. Sometimes his brother’s sincerity made him that much more punchable. Right now, it was the last thing he needed. The guilt was already eating away at him, and he didn’t need it anymore. “The best thing for her is for us to get as far away as possible.”

Sam sat down on the edge of his own bed, scoffing at Dean’s pitiful excuse. “And you think that she can have a normal life if we do that? She practically threw herself into hunting, so you’d be an idiot to think she’d stop even if we go.” He stared at his brother’s back for a moment, expecting an answer, but one never came. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“Bull.”

“Sam, she was almost killed because we didn’t get it right. We leave, and maybe she goes back to working the register at that place. She meets some new friends…a guy.” Dean’s entire body was tense, and he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. “She doesn’t know how to look for cases, so there’s no reason she would keep hunting.”

Sam’s brows furrowed, but he could see he would get nowhere with this argument. The only thing he could do was finish packing and hope that this wouldn’t make Dean fall into a self-pity spiral for the next month. Dean moved towards the door, not sparing Sam another word or glance. However, he stopped in his tracks when he opened the door.

You stood in the doorway, your fist raised mid-knock, and when you saw him, it instead formed an accusatory finger that you harshly pointed into his chest. “What the hell, Dean?!”

“What…?” He was speechless. You were the last person he expected to be busting down his door, especially in your condition. It was apparent that you were barely back to full strength. Your skin was still deathly pale, your eyes glassy, but there you stood, filled with fury. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ll load the car,” Sam quickly said, rushing past the two of you and out the door.

You forced yourself further into the motel room, making Dean step back further if he didn’t want you to run right into him. “I wake up in the hospital, and you’re nowhere to be found. I call, no answer. Hell, the nurse didn’t even know who had dropped me off. So I come here to find out what the hell is wrong with you, and you’re leaving ?” Your chest heaved with the effort of yelling at him, but you continued nonetheless, completely unable to restrain yourself. “I lied to a detective just to cover your asses so that you weren’t suspects, and yet you’re already one foot out the door.”

“I’m sor–”

“Does it look like I’m even close to done?!” As you continued verbally ripping into him, you’d unwittingly backed him further and further into the room until the back of his knees hit the edge of his bed. However, you were on the warpath, and he had to resign himself to sitting on the foot of his bed, waiting until you were done with your tirade. “You arrogant, selfish ass ! I know why you’re trying to avoid me, and it’s a stupid reason.”

Dean’s chest puffed with some indignation, and he crossed his arms. “Oh, your life is a stupid reason? Because everything that I told you would happen did happen! You almost died!”

“Tell yourself what you want, Dean. I’m not stupid, and the drowning sure as hell didn’t cause brain damage. You’re leaving because you’re scared.”

“Scared?” Now it was Dean’s turn to stand up, but you didn’t back down. You were chest to chest, and his face was only a few inches from your own as he returned your aggressive tone. “Clearly, you don’t know anything about me because it takes more than a damn nixie to scare me.”

The angry response died in your throat as you took in how close the two of you were, and your eyes scanned his face. Surely whatever had been there before wasn’t completely gone, and you just needed to know. Waking up in the hospital room alone had felt like whiplash, and now your emotions were entirely out of whack.

Finally, you managed to find your voice again, and what came out was more dejected than angry. “I woke up alone, and all I could think about was what happened to you. You say that you’re worried about me, but you never once thought about how I would feel.” You swiped away the rogue tear that escaped and looked into his eyes; a frown settled onto your lips. “How worried about you I would be. How scared I would be with you gone. I mean, what was the point of the coffee shop, of comforting me after my nightmare, if you were just going to leave? I had my own grief to work through, my own issues. I didn’t need the extra confusion on top of it.”

“That wasn’t…” Dean trailed off, his brows furrowing as he looked down at you. Clearly, you’d stumped him. He sighed, “I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, you did.”

“You won’t have to worry about me much longer.”

He went to walk past you, but you quickly grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket, tugging him to you. You don’t know what had gotten into you, but before you could think better of it, you kissed him. It was rough and awkward with your noses bumping, your chin knocking with his. It only lasted a moment before you broke away, but Dean wasted no time closing the distance again, bringing you back to him with a hand at the nape of your neck. The second kiss was much less rushed, but the desperation was palpable. The hand that gripped your waist was almost bruising with how much he clung to you.

When you stopped to gasp for air, you managed to wheeze out, “I want to worry about you, and I want to give whatever this is a try. I didn’t come here just to chew you out. I also came to make you stay.”

“I can’t stay.” Dean’s forehead fell against your own, and his eyes were gloomy. “Sam and I…this is our life. We hunt, and then we move on.”

“Then I want to come with you.” You saw him object before he could even get the words out, and you silenced him with another short peck, whispering against his lips, “Unless you can honestly tell me there’s nothing here between us, then I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Dean stalled, clearly irritated by the ultimatum you’d just given him. “You know there is.”

“Then there shouldn’t be an issue.”

“What about your apartment? Your job? You have a life here, and you’re just going to up and leave?”

“Yep,” you answered simply, a small smile on your face. “My life here is contingent on an apartment where I live alone and a job I hate. It’s not a hard ask.”

He paused, seemingly considering it. You could see the cogs of his mind turning, trying to think about it, and you knew if he thought about it too much, he’d psyche himself out – again. So you let go of your grip on his jacket, moving your hands up his chest and over his shoulders, finally allowing them to settle at the nape of his neck to play with his hair.

When you placed an open-mouthed kiss on the junction where his jaw met his neck, he groaned, “That’s not fair. This is bribery.”

“All you do is complain and complain,” you teased, placing a quick nip in the same place. “I’m getting impatient for your answer, so hurry it up.”

“Okay,” he answered, putting his hands on your hips to gently push you away and end your playful assault. “You can come with us.”

Your face lit up. Although you had been hoping, deep down, you hadn’t expected him to relent. You thought his stubbornness would win out in the end, and you’d only have these last few days to remember. You threw yourself back at him, wrapping him into an embrace as tears fell down your cheeks.

He held you tightly as you continued to cry into the crook of his shoulder. “Happy tears?”

“Happy tears,” you confirmed. “And Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever do this shit again, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’d love to see you try,” he chuckled.

You helped him with the last few things he needed to pack and then headed out to the car. Sam was still standing by the trunk when you exited the room, and he grinned when he saw you by Dean’s side. The Impala’s trunk was still open, waiting for Dean’s duffel to be placed inside where it belonged. You wondered if you would get your own duffel after a while.

When Dean closed the trunk, Sam turned to you with an apprehensive look. “So, you think you’ll be alright here without us?”

“Oh, I don’t know how I’ll manage. I’ll struggle every day!” You melodramatically clutched at your chest, faking despair. “Without my heroes, I will be forced to be verbally assaulted in the chip aisle! Nay, I will crumble under pressure and become a shut-in!”

“Alright, drama queen.” Dean rolled his eyes as he steered you away from Sam and the trunk and opened the back door of the Impala for you. “Get in before I change my mind.”

You kissed him on the cheek and got in the car, smirking. “You know you love it.”

Dean got into the car, ignoring Sam’s bewildered expression, and motioned over to the passenger seat. “You just gonna stand there or what?”

Sam snapped out of it and scrambled into the passenger seat, still completely shocked. You caught his eyes flicking back towards your face in the rearview mirror before looking back at Dean. You both ignored it as Dean started the Impala, the engine turning over loudly.

As you left the city limits, you couldn’t help the grin that was plastered on your face while you watched the speeding scenery outside the window. By no means were you through any of the grief or the trauma of the last few days, but on the open road with the Winchesters, you started to feel like things were falling into place for you. Thinking about the days ahead no longer filled you with insurmountable dread. At that moment, you felt okay, and that was all that you needed.

You were going to be okay.

~~~

The sequel to this series is out now! Read it on AO3 or...

Click here to read the first part of His Salvation on Tumblr ->

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kramaku · 2 years

Text

I hate when people say that Bakugou deserves only redemption and not forgiveness for Izuku's bullying. Of course it's Izuku's choice to make, but I'm saying that it wouldn't be undeserved if he's forgiven.

And that for 2 reasons.

(alert manga spoilers)

1. He was very young.

There's one thing that's evident but some people almost deliberately forget it seems: kids under the age of (around) 12/13 can't (or can barely) make their own opinion. If a dad keeps telling his son that women are annoying and useless, the kid will make fun of girls and tell them they're annoying and useless. That without really trying to understand why. A kid is too young to think that far and it's literally a survival instinct. Kids being small and weak, nature made them pretty apathetic. A kid can be kind but in any situation where they feel in danger or unsafe (about their life, happiness or sense of self worth, really anything), they'll run to protect themselves and only themselves without caring about others, maybe step on others on the way too. Of course the human brain being the smartest and most complicated of this universe, some exceptions exist were kids are selfless (Izuku I'm watching you) but it's rare and they need a very special education to end up that way.

So in conclusion, if a kid is mean, says/does horrible things, they're just doing what an adult did, or listening to what an adult told. Everyone kept treating Bakugou like he was superior thanks to his quirk so it's only logical for him to think that way as child, just like everyone treated Izuku like he was inferior so because of Bakugou's self conclusion (because of their bad society) that your quirk is what makes your worth, he was led to look down on Izuku.

Now, that doesn't mean he wasn't an asshole as a kid (he was I hated him the two first seasons lmao) but you can't hold him accountable for his bad actions as a child when even teachers don't say anything when he bullies Izuku in front of everyone, like it wasnt a bad thing to do. You could have held him accountable for his actions if he turned out like Endeavor though. Endeavor was an adult when he abused his family, he had the mental intelligence to know what he was doing was bad and question himself but he was too blind by his will to be the number one hero. Bakugou, though, started to question himself at 15 years old, which is young af. Most insufferable kids I've met back in my younger years are still assholes today in their 20/30s.

He changed his entire way of thinking, that really forged his personality deep btw, and even apologized in just a few months. The most incredible of it all is that he doesn't ask for forgiveness. Even most adults irl ask for forgiveness when they realize their mistake without even thinking about rather or not they deserve it or trying to atone, and even get mad or sulk when they're not forgiven.

Bakugou doesn't think about his own benefits here, he just wants to atone for all the bad things he said and done back as a kid without wanting anything in return, and that, may I repeat myself ladies and gentlemen, as a teenager. He's not even an adult yet.

Just. Bakugou's a good guy that received a terrible education but put himself back on the right track very fast (compared to endeavor who took idk how many decades for example)

2. Izuku isn't traumatized.

Y'all like to use "trauma" at any occasion way too much. A trauma is, by definition, a damage or injury (physical or mental) that results in challenges in functioning or coping normally after the event. I'm not saying Bakugou beating him down, insulting him and humiliating him didn't hurt him- it really did- but none of Bakugou's actions impacted his mental health. He was always a nerd and pretty shy because he didn't have friends and couldn't develop social skills like other kids which made him stutter and be intimidated easily in the first seasons. Izuku would have been the same if Bakugou weren't in his life at all. Unconfident, reserved, feeling worthless.

What traumatized Izuku into thinking he's worthless is the whole society judging people based on their quirks, the fact that his mom apologized to him after he got diagnosed quirkless, implying it was bad, the fact that his classmates looked down on him, but most importantly his own idol telling him that you cant be a hero as a quirkless person. All Might's words hurt him way more than all of Bakugou's bullying, please. Bakugou told him to jump off the roof, he didn't even consider it. Bakugou told him to stop dreaming about being a hero, he never gave up. Bakugou told him not to go to UA, the boy stood on his grounds.

Bakugou never had any long term impact on him, Izuku never cared, meanwhile he was already thinking about a most "realistic" future not even an hour after All might told him to give up.

The only impact Bakugou's bullying had on Izuku was the little fear that Izuku had each time he saw Bakugou at the beginning of the manga, jumping and slightly panicking when Bakugou approached him that's all. Besides, he didn't fear him that much as he didn't hesitate to defend himself multiple times.

(I didn't mention it before bc I forgot but it's so important. Bakugou was ready to give up on his own dream and life to save Izuku. That's all. Admire that precious child.)

so yes, Bakugou hurt him a lot, but did not traumatize Izuku. Can they be friends already please they're each other's everything T_T

#bakudeku #bkdk

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thetrashywritingwitch · 3 years

Note

hi, I hope you’re having a good day/night!

I was hoping you could possibly give me some advice, or even just kind of some understanding? i’m not sure i’m just super stressed.

I am starting back to school on tuesday, and i’m so stressed. I have been genuinely stressed since the day after I finished my summer classes. i’ve spent the last 18 days in a constant state of panic over it.

the reasons are : 1) this is my first semester physically on campus again since mar 2020. I literally found out I would no longer be on campus the night after I had wisdom teeth surgery leading into spring break. 2) I have severe school anxiety, and i’m stressed about presentations and doing well in courses. I have panic attacks often over assignments out of fear of failure. that’s like my biggest fear ever.

the biggest stress, ironically, is that it’s my last semester. I thankfully only have 4 classes, one of which is an elective, and two of the four are fully online. my elective can be done at my own pace and is only like 4 exams that are super easy (I took a similar one this summer and it was so easy).

even tho I know that this semester isn’t THAT bad, i’ll be able to manage things better since i’m only on campus physically two days for two classes that are back to back, but I can’t stop the anxiety that it’s my last semester !!! I can’t fail !!!

idk I hope this doesn’t just sound whiney but anytime I think about it being my last semester I feel like i’m going to throw up im so anxious I can’t. i’m going to be one of the first people in my family to graduate (only my half aunt has as far as I know, but she’s not close to my close family) and i’m scared of failure bc i’ll disappoint my family.

there’s so much expectation that i’ll be finishing bc this is a Big Thing since my family’s support will have a clear pay off??? my older brother will be graduating after me due to certain circumstances, so it currently feels like all the attention of success is on me specifically since i’m the one this close to graduation.

anyways you don’t have to respond to this i kinda just needed to vent bc im scared and it doesn’t feel like almost anyone I know irl would really Get It?

thank you if you decide to respond I truly appreciate how kind you are to anons on your acc

Im sorry you're feeling so stressed about stuff rn. Honestly, have you looked into therapy or getting meds to help with anxiety? It seems to be hindering you daily and interfering with your life to the point where something needs to change. I just recently started anxiety meds a few months ago and even tho it's a very low dose I can tell I'm not as stressed about the tiniest things as I used to be

So if you have the option I would suggest trying to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist who might can help you figure out ways to manage this anxiety better because you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself

There's nothing wrong with being afraid of failure. I am and a lot of other ppl are too. But when that fear starts to overwhelm is, then it becomes an issue. I suggest making a planner or calendar of what you need to do day by day. One small step at a time vs the big picture. Decide what's manageable for you realistically and set small goals for yourself

I think a professional might have more personalized advice that might help but yeah. Maybe your school has stress and anxiety managment resources you can look into? Counselors? I feel like most schools have some kind of thing like that

Best or luck to you anon

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ckret2 · 5 years

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How do you usually make up alien genders? I'm trying to write a different gender structure for aliens in my story and im having difficulty-

Under a read more for a long example/demonstration of The Process In Action.

EDIT: or maybe not, thanks tumblr. Sorry for the long post, tumblr won't let me put in a read more.

Okay so the first thing you've gotta do is decide that you've got a bone to pick with every single aspect of sex and gender. Every single one.

But you only go after one aspect at a time. And what you do is you sit down and you think up a way to contradict that aspect as hard as possible. The more narrow and niche it is, and the more elaborate you get in the act of contradicting it, the better you're doing.

Some things, it makes sense to pick a bone with. "Hey, I've got a bone to pick with the assumption that every personality trait, behavior, and job duty can be assigned 50/50 between two anatomical sexes with no overlap or flexibility!" That's a totally reasonable thing to pick a bone with. You can pick that same bone IRL and be a totally rational sensible person.

But the fact that it's a reasonable position to take doesn't mean that, for the sake of sci-fi, you can't find some weird way to make the above assumption invalid for your alien species (that is to say, invalid in a DIFFERENT way than it already is IRL). Like... maybe you decide to leave the above assumption 95% intact, but take aim specifically at the connection of each gender role with an anatomical sex. Maybe you decide that your aliens DO have a culture with extremely strictly divided 50/50 gender roles—maybe they even look the same as our gender roles—and the vast majority of the population IS split half and half between "the ones with the baby-growing anatomy" and "the ones with the sperm-producing anatomy"—but, maybe their two extremely strict gender roles have no correlation with their two sexes.

Maybe instead—as the first thing that came to mind—they get assigned their genders based on birth order: firstborns get Gender #1, secondborns get Gender #2, thirds get Gender #1, etc., regardless of what set of reproductive anatomy they have. With one very simple move, you've subverted a very widespread human assumption about how sex and gender work, but you've subverted it in a very inhuman way.

And then you can dig into the implications of this very simple change. What are these two gender roles like—are they the same as "female" and "male" but they've been relabeled "odds" and "evens," or are you going to change up what expectations are placed on these gender roles? In humans, research has been done suggesting that there's some personality differences between people based on their birth order, e.g., firstborns are generally more assertive and secondborns are more conciliatory—you could look into that research and see if any of it could be useable in developing your alien genders. Which gender role do you think is more desirable in your aliens' society? If it's the "odds" gender, does that mean odds vastly outnumber evens because parents decide to have one kid and stop there—or else, after their second kid, feel driven to move on to the third? If it's the "evens" gender, does that mean the gender balance is about equal because parents want to have one odd and one even; in times of famine or other mass tragedies, will firstborns be abandoned in favor of keeping the far preferable second child? (Or you can have your aliens be actually moderately decent people and treat both genders equally.)

How does sexuality work? What does it mean to be "straight"—do most people pair off based on anatomy (so that most couples might be able to reproduce but they could be odd/even, even/even, or odd/odd), or is it based on gender? (If it's based on gender, then same sex couples and opposite sex couples might be about equal, and on that basis be all treated equally—but a couple might still be ostracized based on the partners' birth order.) If society's conception of "straightness" is based on gender, then are you expected to pair off with the same or the opposite gender? (There's no reason "stick with your own gender!" couldn't be considered the "normal" thing in a totally different culture, especially if gender's 100% divorced from reproductive roles.) Are you perhaps expected to select your romantic/sexual partners based on anatomy AND gender (i.e., to be straight you need a partner of the same gender and the opposite sex)? And while we're on the subject—do they actually even care about straightness or gayness or any other form of queerness, and if so, why?

What happens with twins—are they both assigned the same gender, or are they given a gender based on the order they came out? If a secondborn says "I'm trans, I'm not an even, I'm an odd" and the parents go "that's fine we love you and we'll use odd pronouns for you," then when they have a third kid a year later, do they assign that kid the even gender (since they followed an odd), or do they assign that kid the odd gender (since they're kid #3)? Has society grappled with these questions yet? Do some parents with trans kids do it one way and others another? If a baby is abandoned and you don't know whether it has any elder siblings, what gender is it given? Is it treated like a firstborn, or is it gendered based on when it's added to the family that adopts it? Does the anatomy of the alien species cause them to be born with physical traits marking birth order? (What happens if the physical traits don't match their actual birth order for some reason, like a prenatal chemical imbalance—are they raised according to the traits or to actual birth order? Are the parents accused of having a child they gave up?) Maybe babies get tattoos at birth so their gender is always known—is this seen as something beautiful? as something oppressive? Is it a sterile hospital procedure? Is it a religious ceremony the whole family gathers for? Whose idea was the tattoos? Why is society okay with literally branding a baby with a gender? What's that say about their beliefs?

Once you choose an aspect of gender/sex to question, even if it's really small, if you keep asking "so how does that make this system different from my IRL one?" and "what are the implications of that?" eventually you'll have built up something novel.

And that's just picking a tiny detail of something that's reasonable to challenge because you can challenge it IRL a billion different ways. Try a more complicated one—for example: "in many species the males compete for an opportunity to mate with a female and females try to put off the males' advances/are extremely selective about who they choose; because the females, due to actually carrying the baby, both hold the key to their partner's ability to reproduce at all AND carry the highest personal risk in any reproduction because 'carry a baby/lay an egg' consumes far more energy and resources than 'fling some sperm at your partner' does." Say you don't like that at all. Say you want to design a species where one half isn't The Highly-Coveted Maker Of The Baby & Also The One Whose Body Is Doing All The Work.

You could say they're like seahorses—the mom does half of the work, then transfers the babies to the dad for the second half of gestation. But maybe you go "no, not alien enough, that still kicks off with mom actually producing the eggs, so you've still got that unbalance even if the mom passes them off later." You could say they're like spiders, where the mom eats the dad for nutrients, but maybe you go "no, that's just the mom eating the dad to compensate for the energy/material that mom has to expend, 'getting paid back for the expense' isn't 'equal from the start." Maybe they're like some species of fish, where moms lay unfertilized eggs and then dads come along and spray sperm on them, so the males don't have to compete to win a female's favor—but maybe you still don't like that they have to lay eggs in the first place! So how do you design a two-sex reproductive system where the effort of creating offspring is completely equal between both sexes and one sex isn't unilaterally competing to get access to the other?

(This isn't just a hypothetical question—it's one I asked and answered myself very recently in designing some alien anatomy I haven't had the opportunity to share yet.)

And you can do this with anything. "I'm going to keep gender roles but I'm going to change the contents of the categories." "I don't want my aliens' idea of 'normal' genders to be 'only two.'" "I don't want my aliens to have genders at all." "I don't like that a minority of the human population is gay, I think like 75% of my aliens should be gay." "I think there should be THREE sexes necessary for reproduction." "I think these aliens shouldn't have a sexual dichotomy that's like 49% one sex, 49% the other, and 2% intersex, instead I think it should be a very smooth continuum from one extreme to the other." "I think it should be a bell curve and MOST of the aliens should be intersex." "I think like 95% of the aliens oughta be trans, almost everyone transitions genders at some point." "I think hermaphroditic animals competing to see who gets which reproductive role is cool but I don't like that the winner 'gets to be' the penetrator/sperm donor, I want to design a species where their evolutionary history made it more advantageous/desirable to be the pregnant one." "I think my aliens should have LOTS of genders but NO sexes." "I think they should have biological sexes but they aren't defined by reproductive anatomy." Etc.

And then, once you've decided what's different: what about their evolutionary history led to them being like that? What about their cultural history? How is it reflected in their biology, their psychology, their beliefs, their government, their sexuality? What are the outliers like? How are outliers treated—accepted, admired, oppressed? What are acceptable and unacceptable deviations from the norm? How does it affect how they interact with the world and with each other? How's it reflected in an individual's self-image?

Start small. One small change. One thing where you're like "that kinda bugs me" or "I don't want that" and you're willing to pick at it so hard you'll invent an entire system just to subvert a single tiny detail. And let the implications bloom out from there.

#(90% of my writing is fueled by spite)#(I choose something I don't like and I can't rest until I write it in a way I do)#writing #reference #gender #about my writing #anonymous #ask

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justtogetthrough · 2 years

Text

I can't seem to understand why or tolerate the fact that my friend LIKES ME. I mean that is the whole point of friendship. But I'm so used to friends being flaky as fuck and ignoring me and being inconsistent and not coming through when I need them whether it's for something big or small and saying they love me but never acting upon it even in any minor way. I don't know if I've had a IRL friend do any of these things. Follow through. Be eager to see me. Make plans with me. Want to talk to me. Seek me out. All of this is painfully new to me and I'm having a moment of real weakness where rather than delight in the euphoria that for once my friendship with someone is mutual and reciprocal, I'm lying in bed at almost 12:30 am freaking the fuck out bc I don't know how to tolerate feeling wanted or liked and it is causing me great distress. I just want to be happy about it but there's a very firm part of me that keeps going "this makes no sense, there has to be a misunderstanding, there is an error here, what the fuck is there to like about you and why would anyone look forward to seeing you?"

I'm waiting for the sedatives cocktail to kick in.

I am terrified to be sober next Saturday from how anxious I am but I super don't want to be high around my friend in person, I've always been sober with them in person because being with them is the only time being sober is tolerable and so I take full advantage of that by basking in being comfortable existing in reality for however long I'm with this friend, and save my drugs for when I'm alone and existing sucks. They are great enough that I EASILY spend whole days sober when I'm with them and that's a god damn miracle for me. And... idk what it is but I respect them too much to go spend the day at their house and then be fucking high for it. If I can get through a day sober, it is ONLY when I spend the day with them and so yes there's added stressors to this particular day with them but if I'm ever capable of being sober for hours upon hours and comfortably sober at that, its with them. And I... don't want them to experience me high in person. Voice chatting at night is a different story. But this friend has by far the most experience with sober me than anyone else in my adult life and still somehow they like me, want to see me, and prioritize me. I don't want to disrespect them by getting high. They know and love sober me. I want myself to believe this will all be okay but the anxiety is so bad and drugs dull the edges but I don't want their whole family to meet me for the first time under the influence when for maybe as much as 60% of my relationship with my friend, our friendship takes place while I'm not actively high. That's a real accomplishment for me and it feels like sinking down lower to let my anxiety get the best of me and be high for the day they've invited me to spend time at their house with their family.

I just. I don't understand why they like me and I don't like who I am when I get shy. I am socially awkward, probably autistic, and have a history of selective mutism and so meeting new people sober is not something I've done in years and my anxiety is out of control.

I truly don't see why anyone would like me and tonight it's just not vibing well. It fucking sucks.

#personal #o

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captaindoubled · 7 years

Conversation

Me, the person that spent the last years at college studying and researching evaluation conditioning in the media and how it affects people's feelings towards different races irl: Even though media is getting better, folks are still falling into harmful tropes that only harm the message they are trying to get across and it helping.

I love Akande in overwatch but he is still a hulking black villain and that only reinforces the black hulking stereotype. Evaluative condition g is quick and instant and on a subconscious level for the most part so when folks look at him, they make connections with the racist stereotype of a big black man even if his character is far from it.

Dream Daddy has trans representation but has had their name tacked on to transphobic gamers and regardless of their involvement, that association is there. Gay men will be played as a joke because viewers of these gamers will be primed to think of gay men as a joke and not nuisanced people.

VLD relies so heavily on character tropes that genuine moments of character growth are lost because viewers are only going to see them through those tropes. Example- Characters like Hunk have moments where he shines through as an individual in the show are lost because the viewers have already been told multiple times that he's a fat food guy coward and because this trope is old and connections are strong in people's head that this trope is easily recognizable, moments where he's brave, math clever and just kind are overshadowed even if those moments are even with his food moments.

Steven Universe is another show that I had a lot of hope for but ultimately i had to step back from entirely because they constantly did nothing about their anti black biases and continued to demonize or other black coded characters within the show. Black woman characters being mules for the feelings of other characters, even when they were given moments to deal with those problems were turned to moments to lift up another character in the end (When Pearl used Garnet to fuse to feel powerful but only ended up being a character development moment for Pearl when that story arch should have centered around Garnet carrying the burden of the team). The creators have refused to do better with the POC coded gems or POC characters in the town and have mostly focused on white coded or thin characters. This is an example of people trying to be progressive so much so that they don't stop to check themselves or allow themselves to be criticized which is a shame. It's hard to see the progress in media when half the time it's one step forward two steps back.

Also me, but an optimistic person who just wants to have a good time and have faith in folks: I still enjoy the characters of Overwatch and other actually diverse big name pieces of media and even with its flaws it's a step in the right direction. The flaws will help them learn and if it doesn't, the spite will fuel other people to do better with their own IPs. I've seen plenty of folk get on their grind from bad media just as much as good media. And within the full context of the story, Akande is more than just a big black man and if fans and folks don't see the humanity in him, that's their problem. It is the job of the creators to do what they can to not promote harmful stereotypes but if fans can not see humanity in black characters than there is little that can be done.

Example- Lució is a good man, a musician and a hero to his people but people either Demonize his character by saying his a criminal for stealing from an oppressive force or dehumanizing him because he's one of the shortest characters on canon and because they don't see him as a "threatening" black man, they find ways to make him even less threatening, almost infant like as a counter stereotype which is just as harmful to black people.

I will bring up Dream Daddy again because other than small moments that are iffy, the game is actually very tame and very well made and not the fetish fuel that the fans have made it out to be. Most of the dates are just friends hanging out and only on the third date do you lock in a romantic interaction. Some of those last dates don't even become romantic until the last minute. Even Joseph's story which doesn't have a "good ending" is balanced for in the fact that not every gay has to have a good end when the majority of them in the story do. Only positive stuff doesn't make people see gay men as complex human people and the idea that just because it's a dating sim, huh can't always get what you want is nice and treats him like a human man with his own issues and not just fan fuel. I can see this being a stepping stone for folks to take the dating sim genre more seriously because both them and visual novels are easier to program and create than fps,third person games, or side scroller and so more indie folks can create bigger and better representation without being tacked on to the Game Grumps.

VLD has been an odd show from the jump and has done a lot better than previous versions of the show. It's far more diverse and the stereotypes are annoying but not as bad as they were in the past. I prefer to watch the show outside of the fandom and I don't interact with the fans because again, it becomes a situation where the fans own biases have soiled the entire experience and made the show something that it isn't. It could be better but nothing is perfect and I'll critique it because that's my job as a viewer but I'm still proud of the work it's done so far even if it's not super good all the time.

Also also me, an exhausted person: Just do better. Both shows and fans. People make these shows and pieces of media and people aren't perfect. It's both the job of the creator to do better and to apologize when implicit biases, which are very hard to change unless you actively go out of the way to fix them and recondition yourself, are present in characters or they just fuck up on something.

But it's also the job of the fans to educate themselves on what's right and how to interact with folk. This isn't a reasonably, be nice thing. It's a, maybe don't send really weird messages to folks about your ship unless the creator has made it know that they like to engage in that talk. Even if you are angry, actually say what's wrong with sources instead of working off hear-say. If you don't know what's wrong with a show, ask and do your own research or only form your opinions from folks that actually did the research and not a random post with literally no sources but lots of outrage. Also accept that sometimes your opinion on stuff is wrong. Cis women who only interact with a show for the gay ships are fundamentally wrong?? And annoying and you hounding a creators for gay content is actually very gross when you can support shows when canon can characters.

BUT as fans you do have a right to critique a show for stuff going on and creators have to have thicker skin when it comes to critique. They have every choice to listen to it or ignore it but fans have every right to critique the media. It's how things change. Again, a point back to Steven Universe. Both with the fans and the creators didn't want anything bad said about the show. Just because it was progressive for one group, doesn't mean it's progressive for other folk.

There were good moments that children and adults needed to hear but nothing is perfect and if a show can't be critiqued nothing will get better and the deeper in your craw you get about a problem, folks tend to double down on them (I have a theory that racist/sexist/ist thoughts and actions tend to get worst when you tell folks to stop because they can be learned through conditioning and so go through a thing called an extinction burst ((an extinction burst is when you try and stop a trained behavior by not reinforcing it any longer the thing doing the behavior does it a lot more out of frustration because they aren't frying their treat anymore)) so they do racist shit more because they aren't getting rewarded for their behavior) the worst you'll get.

The rise of social media and creators wanting to connect with the fans have created a situation where folks have easy access to one another and there is a lack or respect for folks space. This was a problem with Bryke and members of the ATLA crew entering in spaces meant for the fans and being upset with how overwhelming the close interactions were and got defensive about critique of any kind. This is a problem with folks on the VLD fandom holding pieces of media hostage to get what they want, ignoring the real world consequences of those actions. The closeness allows for direct responses with problems but also the same way texts are, people expect and answer immediately when people behind contracts and are representing their content and everyone who's worked on it has to put the message out fast but same time it has to follow rules probably set out by their company. Both sides just need to do better.

#my meds kicked in half way through so this was longer than planned lol

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