#is it like 'reading art analysis out loud' or is it like 'art history'

[eliott-emma]

My Small Analysis of Would've Could've Should've

Forward notes

I am not a native English user, neither am I cultured by western literture or religion. Yet, I've been learning English since a little kid, and have watched and read many stories in western themes. So I am confident with what I write about. But if I make a clear mistake, feel free to point me out anytime.

Futhermore, everything I write are just my opinion. I do not know Taylor, I do not know if she is queer. These are just my interpretation of her art and her music, no need to say anything rude about what I think. But discussion is welcomed in the comment section. ☺️

My First Thoughts

This song is gay as hell.

I can't believe there's only a few people who thinks of that (even the gaylor community didn't seem to see this song too much). This song is sooo LOUD. The theme of thinking love is a sin, of 'gone along with the righteous' if 'you never'd touched me', of thinking 'pain was heaven'? Oh my god, so gay. What kind of people will think their love is a sin? Queer people.

Thoughout history, sinned love happens because of society's disapproval. Like loving a sex worker, loving a woman who is married, or loving the same sex. If there are only parents who disapprove, it wouldn't make it such as a 'sinned' love. What is suspicious though, in Taylor's case, she was always seen dating men with nice appearances, white, famous and rich man. And if people are right, if they are really dating, why should you feel sinned dating these fine men? People may say that John Mayer is a bad boy, but no one would call dating a bad boy as a sin.

Besides the sinned theme, the other part I think was gay is during the bridge when she yells, "Give me back my GIRL... hood, it was mine first." I literally didn't hear the 'hood', I thought that was her coming out for a second. But then a looked up the lyrics and oh, no she said "girlhood". But still, I kept the thought that the original lyrics was "girl",

Song Lyrics Analysis

I'll try my best to explain myself since English is not my first language. It'll be difficult and I'll have to check the dictionary to make sure with some of the words. And I'll try my best doing line by line. Here we go!

If you would've blinked then I would've Looked away at the first glance

If you tasted poison, you could've Spit me out at the first chance

These two lines are simple. The lover is looking at Taylor intensely and Taylor tries hard not to fall for them (I'm using gender neutral pronouns here. Because why not?). Also, Taylor think of herslf as poison, I guess it could refer to "I once was poison ivy." In Don't Blame Me. And it also pointed out how sinned Taylor thinks herself was.

If I was some paint, did it splatter On a promising grown man? And if I was a child, did it matter If you got to wash your hands?

These are the lines I thought about quite frequently to figure out what it is all about. I guess, the paint is like something colorful, probably something like gayness. And it splatter on a grown man, who I guess is the elder lover, asking: did my gayness pass over to you as I splatter on you?

If I was a child, meaning if this is all childish and shouldn't be taken seriously, did you get to wash out the gayness we had?

Ooh, oh All I used to do was pray Would've, could've, should've If you'd never looked my way

Now Taylor hoping that this love never happened. And "praying" for it, as in a religious way, hoping the love intrest didn't lured her and took her away from what she was the first place.

I would've stayed on my knees And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering

I think it's quite obvious here so I'm not gonna say much. Just vibe with it yall.

If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed, then they could've Never whispered about this

Touching me is sinned? GAY.

People whispered about our love? GAY.

And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was But, Lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us

So now we figured why Taylor's so sad, because her lover wants to erase thier love. I deeply doubted that this song is about Emily who had married in and probably "moved on" and erase everything they had. But I don't know anything, it's just speculations.

You're a crisis of my faith Would've, could've, should've If I'd only played it safe

I saw someone on Reddit talking about the feeling of this love made a crisis. I think the person interpreted it so well. You can go check it out by jsut searching "Would've Could've Should've Gaylor"😆

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

So I guess this is Taylor sitting through her sleepless nights thinking about how she regrets doing it wrong then. Letting her past lover chase her down as a phantom in her dreams. Really scary isn't it.

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

The bridge is also a part that I have no idea about. "Clarity's in death" may be saying that their love is already secret and private and no one really know what happened, but even though this love is basically invisible, it still won't die. It still aches.

"Tearing down the banners"? Well I seriously can't think of anything. I might guess parading, but it doesn't seem so.

Last two lines? I'm so sorry. I can't get anything out😭

So. That was my first Taylor Swift line by line analysis. I think I could do better but I just really want to share my thoughts. Please comment if you have different ideas!!!

#gaylor #taylor swift #song analysis

[transsexualhamlet]

Hi :)) for the fics ask - 💌📡🍭🎈🎀🍉🦋

OMG THATS SO MANY???? i love you anon

ask game

putting a readmore because um. so many questions

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

SHAKES AND WHIMPERS finally someone asks me about my wips............. oh dear oh dear oh dear. Trembling wet and pathetic awkwardly holds out 25 pages of handwritten Mairon apologism covered in blood sweat tears . This is one of those ones that I'm terrified I'm going to be dogpiled over in the fandom because. Silmarillion fandom. Intimidating. This is the first time I've read the book and these bitches are veritable scholars in Arda history and languages. Like they have damn phds. doctarates. I'm just like hi I think he did nothing wrong ever except for all the atrocities and the atrocities were fine because it's international womens day and hes like a woman to me.

Anyway I should. Actually explain them i just I have two things going on one of them is just. Six pages of independent ramblings written all at once fueled by "I just woke up with the sickest ass line of dialogue ever conceived and I need to bring it to justice Right Fucking Now" and the other is what will probably end up being a chapter fic with six or seven chapters though I haven't. Decided what point I'll end it at. I'm two chapters deep and I have tons of motivation rn so hopefully. Things will continue that way because god have I been known to abandon works of that length. (looks at the bond fic) (looks at osamu dazai is dead) (looks a-)

The first mentioned one is well. I think it's just such a funny quirky girl trait of his to have not only founded a human sacrifice death cult but to have gotten it sugar daddy funded by batting his eyelashes at the king of Numenor it's just. Truly wonderful situation and I feel it is not spoken of nearly enough. The basic concept of that snippet is "pov ur defeated enemy/prisoner/mistress/royal advisor's bedroom talk involves apocalyptic sermons dooming you to eternal suffering if you don't worship his dead ex".

The other one is pretty self explanatory and has probably been done a million times, just my take on the untold hashtag "Seduction of Sauron". Basically several chapters of Melkor convincing Mairon to seize the means of production this one is very well. It's not very favorable to the methods and ideas of Eru it is decidedly anti-Eru

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

I mean that's like, half of what fandom is. It's sharing words (both fanfic and headcanons/shitposts/analysis/incorrect quotes etc) and images (art/memes/edits/screencaps etc). We wouldn't really fandom without it.

🍭why did you start writing?

It's really just how my brain works? I can communicate so much better written than out loud. I've literally been writing since before I can remember. Both my parents are writers and my parents tell me I narrated stories out loud to myself at night before I knew how to write on paper. I just. I really liked saying things and telling stories and once I started I pretty much never stopped though of course the writing I did as a first grader was not the same kind that I do now.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

I mean, as a fanfic writer I always try to make my writing fit the mood of its source material, so there is definitely a lot of variation between say, my lotr fics and my owari no seraph fics. But I know that I do have many qualities of my writing that are recognizable throughout pretty much everything I do. I have a rather pretentious style, and I focus significantly on body language, exaggerated emotion, flowery metaphors, and internal dialogue. But my humorous work does sound pretty different, though I mostly don't do that unless it's for a general audience who I feel insecure being flowery and sincere around.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Aww, ok. I mean I think the best thing about my writing is that it fits my personal tastes perfectly. I write 99 percent for myself and the other 1 percent for the six people on the internet who will froth at the mouth over it. I write mostly to articulate and cement my Strong Feelings About Concepts And Ideas and writing them helps me literally understand how I feel about things and what it really is I'm trying to get at. It's an added bonus that other people also like it :)

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

I can't really say I'm a super trauma-ridden individual, though I guess I've had my moments. Mainly writing does for me what I said above. I turn to it to have peace of mind and delve into the concepts that thrill and move me. When I feel overwhelmed and empty and unsatisfied and confused I know it's because I haven't written recently. Maybe thats the autism

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

There's always just the general anxiety that it will be seen by the general fandom as uncalled for and cringe. I'm always worried I will be seen as a Fake Intellectual for my pretentious style and often limited knowledge on the source material and I'm worried especially when I enter a new fandom that I'll just be completely off and get 80 billion things wrong. The more I interact with, know about and post for a fandom, the less anxious I get because it's been established people like it and aren't gonna kill me.

#rowan gets yelled at #anon #ask game #yeah i really went off on this one lmao

[arwainian]

My Reading This Week

This week I 'read less than I would have liked' (honestly i still read a good chunk) as in. I was super busy writing a paper I'm super proud of for school, so I didn't have time to read a bunch. Also as you shall see, i struggled to find something to read in the first place

Abandoned:

Dead Dead Girls by Nekesa Afia

The Bachelor's Valet by Arden Powell

both of these I've been meaning to read for a while. unfortunately i just did not connect with/like the POV character and they weren't interesting enough to me to push through despite. you'll remember me saying I started Dead Dead Girls last week and that if i didn't hook me by 25% I'd drop it. well I got to 30% and it still wasn't right for me so i moved on.

bachelor's valet i didn't even give to 25%, i gave it two chapters, and the pov character was too much of a privileged child of a man for me to tolerate watching his valet be stoically in love with him. onward and upward to better reads

Started and Finished:

"Anything That Can't Go On Forever Will Eventually Stop: Ticketmaster and Ideas Lying Around" by Cory Doctorow on Medium

congrats to this thing being the first like, article/essay not read for school that I have recorded here! again. reading log, rather than book log. Honestly, because I want to record articles I read, I'm gonna try and make a habit of clicking through and reading articles I see quoted and passed around on tumblr and this was one of these

Chapter 8 of the void, through your body by zerodignity on ao3

(i think ao3 fics, or anything else published that i read in a serialized manner, shall be logged by chapter) I've been really loving this fic, and I actually read the second half out loud to myself bc I was really feeling my voice at the time

The Bride Was a Boy by Chii, translated by Beni Axia Conrad

Super Late Bloomer: My Early Days in Transition by Julia Kaye

My Life in Transition: A Super Late Bloomer Collection by Julia Kaye

the three above are collected volumes of shorts comics written and drawn by trans women about their transition journeys! The Bride Was a Boy is from a woman in Japan and it's mostly about her love story with her husband, and what the law surrounding trans people in Japan is which was cool to read, and the story is so sweet

Julia Kaye's super late bloomer stuff is more slice of life-y with each comic being a vignette from a single day, which cover a huge swath of her experiences over a long period of time, and is a really cool read

Against Queer Presentism | How the Book World Neglects the Archive by Colton Valentine

another article/essay! reading this has put like... 20 books on my tbr, bc i made a list of all of the historical writers mentioned and all of the scholars preserving their work and writing about them, so that I could come back to them. if you're interested in queer history and queer art from the past, check this out

Started and Ongoing:

The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechdel

honestly this and all the comics mentioned above i read in like the past 2 days bc I was sad I hadn't read more, and wanted to read something quick and easy. however Bechdel is not a quick and easy cartoonist. I'm gonna take my time going through this bc again, i've been meaning to read this for a while

Things skimmed after reading thoroughly a while ago so I can properly cite them in the 20 page essay I'm writing (yes I'm going to keep bragging about that)[yes this counts as reading this weak goddammit]:

"Blurring the Lines: Reinforcing Rape Myths in Comic Books" by Tammy S. Garland, Kathryn A. Branch, and Mackenzie Grimes

"Performing the Female Superhero: an Analysis of Identity Acquisition, Violence, and Hypersexuality in DC Comics" by Matthew Nicosia

various issues of The New Teen Titans, Tales of the Teen Titans, and The New Titans in order to collect images for the appendix, and to double check my recollection of events

#arwainian princessoid decrees #bookblr #cal reading log #cal reads comics

[survivor-north-sea]

Cast Reveal #2 - Hidra

AJ, SHE/HER, 18

INTRO: I'm AJ, I'm interested in survivor and I think it's neat! I dabble in lots of things, and am usually mediocre at best. I like to run RPGs for my friends, and I also participate in them - usually local to Discord Servers. This sounds like a lot of fun and I can't wait to see what happens!

OCCUPTION: Student and Aspiring Author

HOBBIES: Writing, Art, and Dance

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: People using your/you're or their/they're/there wrong

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: I'd say I'm a lot like Eric, a bit too trusting for my own good but all around a fun person. More recent seasons I'd say I'm probably most like Lindsay (42) where I'm a mom-friend and competitive.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because you can do anything you put your mind to, and I'm putting my mind to this!

ANYTHING ELSE: If I can't win I hope to at least make it to the jury. I've always thought I'd be a riot as a jury member.

TRINICA, SHE/THEY, 28

INTRO: I'm a Californian implant living in Austin, TX with my fiancée and a pair each of dogs and cats. I recently left a career in social work where I worked with folks transitioning out of homelessness and am now working as a literary agent's assistant. I love strategy games, cooking, reading fantasy novels, and writing.

OCCUPTION: Assistant Literary Agent

HOBBIES: Reading, writing, cooking Trinidadian food, video and board games

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Being interrupted/not listened to

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: A quiz told me Cochran, but I think I'm more Cirie. I value emotional connections and vulnerability!

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: With my history in social work, I'm familiar with how people think and I'm good at working with people to achieve their goals- and also good at getting people to think they've come up with their own goals even who was really me who planted the seed. And as a literature major/someone working in publishing, I'm great at analysis, comparison, and strategy.

ANYTHING ELSE: I started watching survivor when I was 6 years old (when it first premiered) and then took a break after middle school...until the pandemic, when I marathoned all 40+ seasons.

ESTEBAN, HE/HIM, 31

INTRO: I am Adventurer and love to meet new people. Love traveling, photography, books and movies.

OCCUPTION: Teacher

HOBBIES: Watching movies and series, reading books, sleeping!

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Too Loud and noisy

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: Let me say erika casupanan. Besides that we are both Filipino, i am like her always being regard as weak and less threatening yet is capable of doing great things and winning 😉

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because i can, i will and i should be the next sole survivor.

JINX, SHE/THEY, 27

INTRO: the only song i ever listen to is potential breakup song by aly & aj. i never listen to anything else. if i feel like listening to music that’s what i listen to. it’s been on repeat since 2007. my itunes consists of 1 song, potential breakup song by aly & aj, and the play count is somewhere around 50,000 plays. if you ever see me listening to music, don’t even ask what song i’m listening to, because you know it’s potential breakup song by aly & aj, so why would you even ask

OCCUPTION: budtender & writer

HOBBIES: binge watching tv shows, playing switch, reading tarot

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: chewing with your mouth open. not having a sense of humor.

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: Tony Vlachos as I’m a cis straight white man 🫶🏽

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because of my dumptruck ass & my ability to lipsync for my life

ANYTHING ELSE: *john boyega vc* IM READY! friggin large popcorn! Hot dog! Damn slurpy dammit! Don’t talk to me when I sit down to watch this! Don’t touch me ! Don’t breathe in my direction ! This is it!

TYLER, HE/HIM, 19

INTRO: Hi everyone my name is Tyler, I'm 19 years old and I'm a sophomore at Western Michigan University. I'm a secondary education major and I hope to be a high school english/history teacher one day. I've never played a Skype org before and I'm really excited to meet everyone and play!

OCCUPTION: Student

HOBBIES: Theater, video games, watching movies, and going on hot girl walks

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Mouth breathers. Like why are you breathing so extra?

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: Michele Fitzgerald. I think we both know how to stay calm when faced with adversity and are pretty self aware

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: I think I will be the sole survivor because I slay really hard but not in a way that screams "overconfident flop" or "threat!" so people shouldn't be inclined to vote me out

TONI, SHE/HER, 28

INTRO: Investment Banker by day filmmaker by night/weekends. I’m a little quirky and never really fit into boxes exactly right. That’s my charm.

OCCUPTION: Investment Banking

HOBBIES: Watching movies, shows, anime and reading webtoons!

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Being late to something 🥲

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: Ben Driebergen, he always played with his heart and you could always feel his genuine nature.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: I play with my heart and I truly believe that people with genuine hearts win in the end.

ANYTHING ELSE: I’m a great team player and also a good leader who always leads with empathy. Empathy to me is not just emotional but can also be logical. In it’s best form I believe it’s the correct balance of both.

BETHANY, SHE/HER, 23

INTRO: Hi, my name is Bethany, I'm 23 years old and I live in Alabama. My favorite things are reality tv, cats (specifically my angel baby Cleo), and sushi! I'm a legal assistant and I am extremely passionate about prison abolition and criminal justice reform.

OCCUPTION: Legal Assistant

HOBBIES: Reading, hanging out with my cat, watching random video essays

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: People calling me Beth

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: I think the Survivor player I am most like is Evvie Jargoda because they were mainly seen as a social player during their season but they were also very smart and strategic behind the scenes.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: I believe I will be the Sole Survivor because I am never one to back down from a challenge and do everything I can to accomplish something once I put my mind to it.

AZRI, HE/HIM, 32

INTRO: One of few Malaysian guy who still a fan of Survivor who will not get the opportunity to be part of this awesome game in real life due to demographic and different culture.

OCCUPTION: Digital Marketer

HOBBIES: Gym, karaoke, watching movies

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Not sure

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: Sandra because she won twice and a such a queen

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because I think I have the luck and the thought. Now I need to go for it

ANYTHING ELSE: Umm I'm from Malaysia. Hi!

CLEFFORD, HE/HIM, 20

INTRO: Good day! I'm Clefford Rimandiman Millos, 20, from the the country with 7,640 islands, the Philippines!

OCCUPATION: Student

HOBBIES: Watching films, TV series, and reality shows.

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Someone spoiling a show.

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: Todd Herzog for being social and strategic.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because I am competitive and will do anything to further my game.

ANYTHING ELSE: Everyday is a new day.

LEIFA, SHE/HER, 24

INTRO: Im kind shy usually and playing a game like this really put me out of my comfort zone I love challenges and I hate to loose. I'm willing to do EVERYTHING it takes to go to the end.

OCCUPTION: Agent reservations

HOBBIES: Shopping

BIGGEST PET PEEVES: Excuses

PAST SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE LIKE: I'd say im a mix Abi Maria Gomes & Michaela Bradshaw even tho their are not my fav players I do see myself in them.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because I fear no competition and I dont do things halfdone.

#cast

[vegalocity]

Another civilian AU idea, but Red, a busy college student and amateur inventor who's going through some crap with his parents, gets addicted to this one art podcast, where the host has the most soothing voice. And the worker at the noodle shop down the street, both cute and funny, sounds a lot like that host...

THATS REALLY CUTE WTF

and I can see that too! like idk what is usually featured on art podcasts, I'm more of a 'super niche interests' kind of podcast listener, but I'm imagining MK's voice while in podcast mode is like lowkey 'Next Generation's Bob Ross' energy

And- Listen i'm someone who has audio sensitivity too so i'ma just throw my classic 'Red Son is also Autistic AF' headcanon in there because finding a good audio stim like that is a fucking haven for how many Bad SoundsTM there are in the day to day. So i can see this.

Basically this guy is just REALLY good to have on in the background while Red's planning out a project or doing the menial work of assembly, and really his voice is like a saving grace for him when Midterms begin to loom overhead because just taking five minutes to rest his head on his worktable, close his eyes and just listen for a bit just immensely helps in keeping him from literally stressing himself into a meltdown.

It was actually during midterms that he ended up in the noodle shop. He normally ate on campus, but there was construction going on near the food area and if he had to smell cement and hear the construction trucks on top of the splitting headache he already had he would actually go insane, so he said fuck it and decided to just hole up in the noodle shop until his next class.

and it's... quaint... It's a cute little hole in the wall. And it's far enough that he can't hear the construction work anymore, so he figures its safe to take his headphones off, and ends up pulled into a conversation with the boy working there, and... Yes okay, he IS cute. very cute. And that whole thing about the both of them being overworked and running exclusively on caffeine and spite WAS pretty funny.

It had to just be a coincidence that he had a similar voice to the mystery host. After all they weren't IDENTICAL, the podcast was super slow and chill and the host's voice reflected that, very rhythmic and steady, calm and soothing as though he were hosting it in the same room someone was sleeping in. And despite the similar sound the Noodle shop boy had far bigger energy about him. So much more energetic and fast talking, like all of this energy was contained inside him and it was just begging to be released--it was different. Equally as infectious and equally as kind on his long since overwhelmed ears and head, but different.

It had to just be a coincidence.

#Just call me the Civillian AU blogger #let that be my legacy #Spicynoodleshipping #letters to vega #Civillian AU #....Aight but actually tho what DO people talk about on Art podcasts? #is it like 'reading art analysis out loud' or is it like 'art history'? #are there specific podcasts for like 'deep dives on certain ARISTS and their works'?

[with-love-from-hell]

Hi Storm,

You know I ADORE your writing... but I would love to know a little bit more about your Mc in game. Like personality traits, HCs, their name, what they look like, etc. I was wondering if they look like/are based on you or if they look different?! I am SO CURIOUS

Also, which brother(s) are you romancing in game? I would like to know the characters your MC vibes the most with.

I know your asks are closed but I would really love to know more about how you view the character in your stories. It feels like the Mc in Vermillion Skies specifically is based off of your character, so yeah! If you have drawn them or done picrews, can you also share those?

(I know requests are currently closed so I can be patient with waiting until you have the time!!!!)

Helllooo Sarah!

I'd love to tell you more about my Mc!

If you all didn't know, Storm isn't just the pen name im going by on this blog! Its also the name of my Mc! (Read more about her under the cut)

Name: Storm

Pronouns: she/her, they/them is also fine

Age: mid 20s

Height: 5'3" (very short)

Eye color: light blue/steele blue

Hair features: Scarlet color that goes down to her hips. Her hair is very thick and curly. She takes very good care of it. She will often wear it down, in a messy bun, or tied back in a loose pony or braid.

Occupation: Event Planner for a large University, side gig at an animal shelter

Top 5 skills: situational analysis, singing, taking care of others, planning/organizing, cleanliness

Favorite season(s): Fall and Spring

Favorite Color(s): black, blue, purple

Likes: most animals (particularly dogs and reptiles), flowers/plants, moths and butterflies, tattoos/piercings, cooking, music (particularly hard rock and indie but likes pretty much all music), anything within the horror genre (art, movies, etc), being in/near water

Dislikes: loud noises, bright lights, being touched without permission, bears, being treated like she's stupid/being talked down to, messes/disorder, spiders and centipedes, people who chew with their mouth open, being the center of attention, bright-colored clothing

Favorite meal to prepare: Corned Beef, potatoes & Cabbage

MBI Allignment: INFJ-T

Astrological sign: Libra

Love languages (giving): giving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch (literally all of them. Lol)

Love languages (receiving): physical affection, quality time

Sexuality: grey-asexual, panromantic

Officially Courted By: Lucifer

Crushes on: Lucifer, Simeon, Beelzebub

Closest Friends: Beelzebub, Mammon, Satan

General headcannons:

Mom friend!! She is very protective of her friends and family and she is always prepared with emergency snacks, bandaids, ponyholders, etc

Quiet, but observant and thoughtful. She will definitely contribute to a conversation if she feels she can add something, but otherwise keeps to herself.

Peace keeper/mediator in arguments. She hates conflict. Any time something gets heated she starts panicking.

LOVES to swear. Like every other word is "shit" or "fuck."

Really feels awkward when she's being flirted with publicly. It also makes her super uncomfortable when people joke about her sex life.

Incredibly patient and forgiving. She literally has the bullshit tolerance of a saint.

She is often manipulated and walked over by others, especially after letting her walls down and trusting them, which gets harder every time she experiences a betrayal.

Long history of various types of abuse/trauma. She has a really hard time feeling comfortable around people who are angry or yelling.

Very empathetic and compassionate. She loves helping others and making people happy. She often goes out of her way to do things for others.

Very self-deprecating and has a very low self-esteem. She struggles to feel comfortable in her body

Has a very hard time accepting compliments, but is great with criticism.

Becomes attached to others way too easily. She often fears rejection and tries to hold back her true emotions to avoid getting hurt by casual acquaintances, but because of her kind and caring nature this doesn't last long once she befriends someone

Absolute meme lord and loves referencing human world memes (and teaching them to the brothers)

Has a bachelors degree in Philosophy. She doesn't need it for her career, but she enjoys deeper existential discussion and debates on ethics.

Is hearing impaired, but not deaf. She does know ASL though!

The people she meets often think she's much older than she is (like by 3-4 years). This has been true most of her life.

Loves to try and experience new things, but can sometimes be hesitant to new experiences that may result in her feeling embarrassed due to her social anxiety

Generally able to stay calm in a crisis until the situation is resolved, THEN she freaks out.

Really bad at math and most physical sciences, but is really good at reading, writing, and social sciences. Generally speaking, she is pretty intelligent, but can sometimes lack the street smarts necessary to avoid being scammed.

Has 9 tattoos, and plans on getting more. She has a nose piercing, and 5 piercings on her right ear, and 2 piercings on her left ear

#ask #personal #my mc #obey me mc

[strandsofgold]

11 , 14, 20 for that fandom post

Salty Ask List – open for answering

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

i mean, mary is definitely the first that come to mind, but i feel like a lot of people are beginning to understand that she isn't actually the devil incarnate, but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

instead, i'm going to say tilly. it's not that the fandom doesn't like her, it's that she's mostly ignored. like, her and lenny and charles (outside of being used as 'person number 2' in one of the most popular ships of course) are largely ignored, and when someone finally decides to write for them, their character is more often than not butchered to a point where any nuance or interesting part of them has been removed. we all no why, but i'll get to that in the next question.

but yeah, tilly especially gets the short end of the stick, and i unfortunately feel that one of the reasons she's ignored is that she doesn't fit into what a lot of people in the fandom wants her to be, which is a very common thing with non-white characters in stories written by or enjoyed by mostly white people.

tilly is an incredible character, and besides abigail, she's got the strongest characteristics and the richest history with the gang out of all the women. her relationship with susan is incredibly complicated with so many nuances, and the same can be said with her relationship with dutch, hosea, and arthur.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

i think the thing that's most jarring thing to me is the racism and sexism and just general cruelty. and no, i'm not just talking about the blatant stuff.

i'm talking about little things like stripping any characters of colour of complexities and nuance. and that is if they even get written about or have fan art made of them. a lot of loud or just interesting female characters are just straight up ignored or demonised in order for the fandom to swoon over the least dynamic and interesting female character who does literally nothing the entire game – but hey, she's pretty and docile, i guess. as for the cruelty, i really wish people would stop ridiculing characters they don't like for their looks. like, micah isn't an evil person because he isn't conventionally attractive. bill isn't racist because he's fat. we hate these characters because of their words and actions, not because of the way they look.

also, (and i might make a separate post for this, so feel free to ask for it if you want me to talk about it in depth), but i've never been in a fandom that so actively dismisses and despises it's source material. like, a lot of people in the fandom (or maybe it's just a vocal minority, idk) are obsessed with painting the world of rdr2 and it's characters in completely black and white with little to no nuance allowed, and in doing so they absolutely butcher characters to a point where they're just a bunch of oc's with character names slapped onto them.

like, i don't even want to give examples because i'd just have to write down every single character in the damn game. but the characters see butchered most often, whose nuance and complexities gets stripped from them, are charles, tilly, abigail, javier, hosea, susan, arthur, and (of course) dutch. it's reached a point where i almost never read metas or headcanons on here anymore because so much of it is just very lazy, very surface level analysis that more often than not amount to someone claiming that a character in the game acts out of character because they didn't do or say or act the way that person believe they should have acted.

unfortunately, a big part of this fandom would rather claim that the game is wrong about a character, rather than examining why a character acts the way they do – they make a conclusion and dismiss anything in canon that contradicts that conclusion as wrong.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

despite me not really having any feelings on mary beth because of her mostly non-existing, if not incredibly generic, character, kieren and mary beth are absolutely adorable and endearing. between the sort of shy way in which kieran attempts to make conversation, mary-beth's seemingly immediate endearment to kieran, and the glaring difference between them with kieran not being able to read and being fine with it and mary beth swearing by it as the greatest thing, it's really wholesome. i did enjoy listening in on their conversations and mary beth's tepid anger after kieran's death were her strongest (and only) emotional moment in my opinion.

their relationship is what has made me begin to consider that my lack of engagement with mary-beth may have something to with the actress more than anything. like, i do think that mary-beth is an incredibly boring and unimportant character, but i think i may have liked her more if the actress had been able to summon a bit more emotion when speaking, because i've always found her voice very flat and just... not very expressive.

#thank you for sending this in! #these were very fun to answer <3

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Here’s a half formed thought about Calum going back to school at the same time as you during the crazy ass pandemic. Enjoy. 

Reader insert. No race or gender. 

********************

You were always going back to school. When you ran into Calum last year--though it really wasn’t you running into Calum; he was doing his grocery shopping and you checked him out--you knew being a clerk at the grocery store wasn’t the end all be all for you. 

What you had noticed over the couple of months is that whenever Calum seemed to be doing his grocery shopping, he always came through your line. It didn’t matter if you were the only line opened or on the weekends one of the several lines open, Calum was there. He started with small talk, asking you how your day was going. And you asked about his. He shocked you the first time he used your name. But you forgot that it was on your name tag. “Well if you know my name it’s only fair I know yours,” you teased. 

“Calum,” he returned easily, taking the brown paper bags after you carefully packed them. 

Sometimes you noticed his dog in the cart and asked about them. You learned his name is Duke and that he’s been affectionately dubbed Baby Grandpa by Calum. And eventually, though you hadn’t really meant to, you noticed things he bought frequently and whenever you happened across his path while walking to or from back break, you’d let him know if there was a sale going on. 

And thought it was only just friendly chat while you were on the clock, you were out pumping gas on your way to lunch with your friends when you heard your name. As you turned, there was Calum, walking out of the gas station, waving as he pushed his sunglasses back to cover his eyes. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” you laughed, waving in return. What you hadn’t expected as Calum walked across the lot to the pumps is that he would chat until the question of a date fell off from his lips. And sure Calum was attractive, and sure the conversation over the weeks while you checked out his items had turned a little flirty but you hadn’t expected that Calum felt anything remotely serious about you to ask you on a date. 

But you accepted. And there you were able to talk over a nice picnic that excluded Duke, but at your explicit disappointment at not seeing the old dog, Calum promised that next time, he would make sure to include Duke. That picnic lead to a movie, which lead to dinner, which lead to a date shopping for Duke because of the upcoming holidays, which lead to dinner at his place, and then hanging out with his friends for a quick drink one night, which lead to movie nights at each others place. 

And somewhere in all of it, you were dating Calum. He called when you had the closing shift at work to make sure you got home safely. Or if you spent the night, he’d make you breakfast, and he soothed your back as you hunched in front of your laptop to paid for applications for grad school. And he listened to the way you talked about knowing you couldn’t stay in this spot forever and he encouraged you go back to school. You could feel out that school was something that Calum was considering but he hadn’t been too serious about it. Not the band, the tours, the in the studio’s late--just never felt like he had the time.

Occasionally, you talked about some of the online courses you saw the schools had. But Calum hadn’t fully budged. By the time you got news about you going back to school, with funding, and sorting that news out with your job, Calum asked you if you thought he should give a crack at school. You told him the truth, that if he wanted to go for it, he should. And soon, things crumbled globally with the pandemic. And locked in the house most of the time, you dropped subtle and not so subtle hints that making those online classes might be closer and closer to coming true. 

Now you’re here, sitting at the dining room table, your printed out readings and books scattered in front of you. Calum’s on the couch. His notes on the coffee table. You’re in class, listening to the lecture headphones in and you look over to Calum, his class ended just as yours started. His fingers are working over the keys. 

He’s only in a couple of classes. And though you’re in one more class than him, there’s the added struggle of the work you do too. It’s administrative, but there’s meetings once a week and you still find yourself being offloaded onto with lots of small annoying data tracking tasks. It’s paying for school, so you do it with minimal complaints, but a few nonetheless. 

You’re so lost watching Calum working that you don’t even realize that the class you’re in is preparing for small breakout rooms until someone calls your name. You blink and turn back to the screen. “Sorry, zoned out. We’re discussing the reading, yeah?”

Your group nods and you manage to get back on track until the end of your class. Just as you’re closing down the Zoom app, at least for the half hour before your meeting for work, Calum calls out. “Class done?”

You nod, popping out the earbuds. “Yeah. Got that meeting for work soon though.”

He hums, glancing up from the screen. He seems tired. Most of your nights both of you are up kinda late. Though, you make sure to turn it in early and practically drag Calum to bed a couple hours later. He’ll get caught up, work way too late into the night and then have to be up early for band meetings too. “Want me to fix dinner tonight then?”

“It’s my night. I can still do it.” 

“You sure. I know you’ve got to fix that spreadsheet too and do your readings for the week.”

You shake your head. “I can still cook. Might even start during our meeting.”

Calum laughs, remembering the other times you turned off your camera and shuffled around the kitchen to cook in meetings or in classes too. “Nonsense. Almost done with this paper, so I’ll cook. But as an exchange, if you don’t mind, could you read over this? It’s only a response to a reading and it’s not super long or anything. But this instructor’s a fucking hardass.”

You nod. You’ve read over his papers before. Most of the times it’s just making sure he has correct citations and you might make a note about needing a thesis statement or needing more of his analysis between his evidence. But it’s not much that you ever feel like you need to mention on his papers. You’ve found, most often, what Calum needs is just someone to listen to his ideas so he can sort them out loud and then all you do is take down the notes of what he said. Listening to him talk about this philosophy class and Literature class is awe inspiring. He always has more questions than answers, but it’s those questions that always lead him to some pretty amazing places in his writing. 

“Is this the professor that got on you about the spacing on that first paper?”

Calum nods, pushing the laptop to the coffee table on top of his notes. “Yes! Even you couldn’t see what was wrong, so I still don’t understand what they got on me about. And I formatted the second outline in the exact same way and didn’t get any points taken off, so I really don’t understand.”

“Well, it could’ve been Google Docs. When you downloaded it into Pages, the formatting might’ve gotten wonky? But even the Pages document looked fine, so I really don’t know what happened there. But you’re doing it all in Pages now and then exporting to a PDF when you submit correct?”

“Yeah, I am. Thanks for that tip though. I didn’t realize Pages wouldn’t work in the submission center.” His shuffle into the kitchen is paired by the click of Duke’s paws on the floor. Calum presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. “Spaghetti?”

Holding onto his forearm draped around your chest, you nod. “Spaghetti sounds lovely.”

“I saw you staring at me while you were in class,” he whispers close to your ear. 

“What? You’re hot. Sue me.”

His chuckle is soft, a rumble in his chest that you feel through your back. “Most definitely can’t sue you over that. But don’t make me go in the office. I need you to pass these classes.”

“I appreciate the concern, dear. But I think I’m doing pretty good. Besides, I’m signed up for a random art history class. I can say you’re a piece of art I needed to analyze.”

The laughter’s not soft now, he full on giggles--a bit of it getting cut off as he inhales into the sound. “You’re ridiculous.” His lips are soft against your temple as he stands back up. “So spaghetti. Garlic bread is a must. Salad?”

“Ugh, I guess I do need veggies.”

“Yes, yes you do.” He continues into the kitchen, the clinking of pots hitting the isle’s of the stove and bowls, boxes, and jars setting onto the counter. 

“How’s the other class going? You guys starting your novels yet?”

“19th Century Lit is well, 19th Century Lit.” Calum seemed intrigued by the Evil Children’s class you told him you saw. But it had filled by the time Calum got his work schedule sorted out. He turned to 19th Century Lit as his backup, and so far, it appeared to be going well. “We’re spending the first part on poetry. And that’s the most interesting. The rest of the books sound a little boring.”

You hum, nodding even though he can’t see you. “Hopefully the class picks up. I took a look at the spring classes. If you want to focus more on poetry there’s a Modern Poetry post 1930′s class.”

The glance is quick, but his brows are pulled upwards, in a slight intrigue. “I’d consider it for sure.”

The alarm on your phone goes off, letting you know you have ten minutes until the meeting. You turn back to your computer and start logging into the meeting. “You haven’t had an assignment for that class yet have you?”

“No. The midterm’s coming up soon though and I don’t even know how to begin to study for it.”

You pop one earbud in making sure your mic is muted. “You know I got you, babe.”

“Yeah, but you’ve got your classes too. I-I might stop by the professors office hours and ask for help.”

“That’s always a good idea. Do you know when they are?”

“Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s.” You know he doubled checked them because he probably wouldn’t have that readily available from the first day of classes. “Gonna go tomorrow.”

Popping up from the chair, you press a kiss to his cheek, as the pan sizzles just a little and the pot of water not showing signs of bubbles just yet. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Calum returns, pulling you fully into his chest for a swift kiss. “Now, go! You’ve got a meeting.”

“Meeting schmeeting. Would rather kiss you.” You kiss him one last time before ducking back into the chair and turning the camera on. You notice just faintly in the background Calum’s visible as he shuffles between pans and pots. Duke walks up to you, standing up to get attention. 

“Oh, you know I can’t say no,” you mutter, setting him in your lap.

“Is that Duke?” your supervisor asks. He’s crashed a couple meetings before. 

You unmute and hold him better for everyone to see. “Yeah. His pops is cooking us dinner and that lack of attention just won’t do.” 

“Hey, you say that like I don’t love him,” Calum retorts, threatening the back of your head with a spatula. You giggle before muting yourself and place Duke back into your lap, digging up the word document you’ve started for all the meeting notes. 

Your supervisor laughs. “Well I think he’s getting plenty of attention in the chat.” There are some more dings as people join the meeting. “Looks like we have everyone, so let’s begin.”

tagging @calumscalm because you might still be taking that exam, love. 

and @5-secondsofcolor bc sunday reads bubs. 

#calum hood #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum hood x reader insert #calum 5sos #5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #calum hood fluff #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer imagine #h writes

[tessiete]

Hello there! :) How did you come up with the idea of just so, and no clearer and which of your written poems is your personal favorite? (I absolutely adore all of them!)

Oh, um, hi how did you know I was just stalking your blog.......anyway, THANK YOU for this ask. I’m actually really fond of Just So, and No Clearer and it’s the fic that made me fall in love with Obitine, so I’m SO gratified to know you like it, too!

The idea...it’s a little convoluted, so bear with me, but! (//Get ready for an unnecessarily long analysis - SORRY!)

@duchess-of-mandalore posts a monthly prompt for Obitine creators, and this was written for the inaugural one. I accidentally suggested the idea, and then when Jess went above and beyond with it, I felt compelled to contribute.

I’m not good at following directions, and I had only a passing interest in Obitine. But by the end, I LOVED them. I loved her! 

The prompt was: GIFT

So, essentially I thought about the kinds of gifts that Obi-Wan might give Satine. My first thought was KORKIE MY BOY LIGHT OF MY LIFE, but then I thought that would be too easy for me to cop out on because beyond the idea of Korkie as a gift, there wasn’t like, a conflict that immediately came to mind.

But Obi-Wan is also a public servant. The Jedi don’t have things. He doesn’t have money to spend on her. He can’t send her flowers, or chocolates, or jewels, and he wouldn’t want to because those things are unimportant to him. 

So, in trying to come up with something that Obi-Wan could give Satine, and something that he doesn’t give to anyone else, I thought of poetry. There’s a throwaway line in a Legends book, I think, about him liking literature, and he’s a very introverted person. He isn’t easy to read. My reasoning was that he feels a lot but can only speak a very little, but poetry? Poetry is a secret language that lets him say everything his heart is thinking.

And Satine, who speaks the language of his heart, can read in his poetry all the secret meanings and things he can’t say out loud. So the gift is ultimately himself. He’s giving her little pieces of himself. And it’s something that nobody else gets, in a very specific way (and it was important that this be distinct because I also feel VERY strongly about his relationship with Anakin, and basically consider them soulmates, so this had to be something that exists simultaneously with Anakin, yet neither diminishes or is diminished by that relationship, you know?)

At the same time, I realised that he wouldn’t be writing these on paper. These would be comm messages. Essentially texts. He’s texting her sad poems.

And that struck me as really funny. That yes, he’s sincere, and deeply in love, and it’s important because it’s honest and he means it, and Satine knows that, but......at the same time, what he’s doing is not much different than being woken at 2am by a text from you ex saying “sup?” YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE WANTING. 

Once I’d settled on this, I knew I needed to find a structure I could hang the whole thing from (I don’t write well without one). I don’t know why I picked the number five, but it seemed a good storytelling baseline (five act structure and all). Then, I decided I wanted each poem to be in a different language, from a different planet all having some meaning that would be felt by both Obi-Wan and Satine. I went with Qui-Gon’s home planet, Mandalore, Coruscant, Stewjon, and Naboo. Why did I do this? I don’t know. To make life difficult for myself. Because then, not only did I have to write each poem, I then had to translate them into a different language, and keep the metre and usually the rhyme as well. 

Then, with those foundations done, the plot fell in place around it. The whole idea of him coming to her after Kadavo just happened because the timeline said that it was logical. Happy, happy accident!

As for my fave...

I...I love the ode.

I spent DAYS researching historical slang for sex/genitals. DAYS.

And then ages on the ode itself. I wanted that form because I wanted to associate Coruscant with Rome, its fall, and the idea of a Republic. BUT ALSO because the particular form I chose to sort of emulate (though MUCH truncated) was a Pindaric Ode - which, due to Romantic British poets, is not at ALL the way that Pindar actually wrote his odes. So Coruscant has essentially become so divorced from its history that its poetry is only an echo of a traditional form.

No one told me that odes SUCK TO WRITE. 

The metre is inconsistent - but in a consistent way.

The rhymes are also consistently inconsistent.

You have to begin with a praise to the gods - which don’t exist in Obi-Wan’s Coruscant, so NATURE as a form of the Force it is!

Like...it’s such a complicated and precise form, and I don’t think I nailed it, but I think I aped it well enough.

And for me? Personally???? I’m so, so, so pleased at how filthy it is. Because I think that’s exactly the kind of smut Obi-Wan would engage in. It’s very civil. Anyone could read the poem, and just understand it to be talking about a pretty flower.

But Satine is the Lily of Mandalore, and like...anyone who knows that? Anyone who speaks the language Obi-Wan is writing in? Yeah, he’s written her a sext.

But I’m just pleased that, imo, I walked that line between filth and ART pretty dang well for a SW poem!

Thank you for letting me talk about this fiiiiiiiiiiic. ILU. I owe you so many grateful replies and returns. <3

[neonlustmusic]

Pathos is the Los Angeles-Based Philosophical Post-Punk Band You Always Wanted

Pathos is a 4-piece band out of Los Angeles that makes fast, introspective hardcore post-punk. Their latest release is a 2019 EP titled Allergies to Living People. The EP, a breath of fresh air in the current smog of L.A.-based bands, features honest and cathartic songs which see the band practicing self-analysis or self-reflection. The themes and attitudes expressed on this album make the band similar to Minor Threat or Black Flag. I think they could appropriately be called a millennial academic’s Black Flag. For anyone wanting a smart punk band, a band that has read some philosophy, but also doesn’t try to indoctrinate you, Pathos is the band for you.

Having been following the band since their debut in 2017, I can affirm that Allergies to Living People, the band’s 3rd EP, is their best offering yet. It is a dark, fuzzy, melancholic, and moody collection of sounds that reminds me of Joy Division and Surf’s Up-era Beach Boys, but with more emphasis on nausea.

Clocking in at just under ten minutes, ATLP is loud, angsty, emotional and self-examining. Touching on several existential topics, the EP could be seen as an intro to Camus or Sartre, putting into practice that essential tenet, “the unexamined life is not worth living,” which is interesting considering their debut EP is titled Examined Life. On ATLP, however, the band takes that tenet and puts it into practice. Imagine the singer live-streaming human activity and offering real-time analysis and biting commentary. That’s Pathos.

But if you’re thinking of the privileged brand of existentialism, you would be mistaken to think the songs contain anything like ennui. The songs could have easily drifted into hopelessness and apathy. Instead, the songs are filled with optimism. The lyrics are concrete, rooted in authentic experience, most obviously the singer Art Ramirez’s attitude and perspective. And he uses that as a springboard to excellence, not into the deep end. The band flirts with wallowing in melancholy and then ghosts the misery, never texting her again.

The intro song “Benign Indifference” puts the punk back in post-punk. It’s a great introductory song, and the fastest one on the EP. After getting that explosion of energy right at the start, the EP progresses to more nuanced and ambiguous territory.

Using distorted, surfy, dreamy riffs, the band hits its high note on songs like “Easy Free,” where Ramirez says “In the present life,/hurt don’t go away/But I’d rather have fun today/But It’s hard when everything around sucks/It never ends.” There is something Sisyphean about that statement. It’s an expression of despair/existential angst, a response to the difficulties of being a young working-class person in Los Angeles, but it also addresses the situation from a point of maturity. It’s not wallowing in despair, it recognizes it, and builds from it, despite the difficulties involved.

On ATLP, the band seems focused on affirming life even if it sometimes leaves a bitter aftertaste, as illustrated on “Awful Taste All the Time,” even if the realities are uncertain, frustrating, and disappointing. The band seems to be responding to the prompt: yes, the world is terrible and nausea-inducing, so how do we live our lives? We just have to deal with the cards we are dealt, and open our eyes, and be the best we can be, the album seems to be saying.

On “Awful Taste All the Time,” Ramirez offers his actions as a template: he speaks about breaking away from chemical dependencies as crutches, and instead facing difficulties head on. The songs speak of troubles only to emerge with a positive outlook: the demand to live without apathy towards others, since many people may be going through the same struggles. In other words, living responsibly. Simone de Beauvoir would be proud.

The Existentialists, however, were responding to the atrocities of World War II. Pathos can be seen responding to the horrors of being a millennial American who is also a critical student of history, wise beyond his years, one who must endure the common class struggle and modern racist world.

While the band’s early music was critical of society and confrontational, like on “Long Gone” a song from their first EP, where Ramirez says, “I’ve got your attention/My tired brown skin making you reactive/I’m the weirdo in a dark dirty corner/Fuck the manager I wanna see the owner,” today, the band is meditative, but calculating, offering a double dose of focused music with mature themes. Compared with earlier releases, Allergies to Living People is the logical next step, and here the music is more ambiguous, rewarding repeat listeners with increased insight.

Continuing the strive towards excellence outlined in the music, the band itself is very much aware of the societal structures that oppress individuals and they seek their dismantling. In 2020, the year of worldwide protests and demonstrations, the band showed their support for the movement with fundraisers for local Black Lives Matter chapters, an appropriate move for a philosophical punk band like Pathos.

Don’t let your parents or Twitter tell you that a Philosophy degree is worthless. It’s actually a very efficient lens for millennial punk bands. And if you’re looking for a smart band with teeth, Pathos is that band.

Follow Pathos on Instagram: @thepathos Follow Pathos on Twitter: @wearepathos

Bandcamp link: https://thepathos.bandcamp.com/album/allergies-to-living-people

#Spotify #pathos #band #los angeles #nlp #music review #featured

[drsilverfish]

Nine Minutes to Midnight

5x21 Two Minutes to Midnight

Nine episodes to beat God, and fifteen years since Kripke pitched his original On The Road fan-fiction meets folk horror. 

I’ve had a lot of fun in this little corner of Tumblr SPN fandom, over the eight years I’ve been here. I arrived as a newbie in 2012, and people already here were kind to me. I’ve seen people come and go, get disillusioned with SPN and move onto new fandoms, or arrive latterly into this one, brimming with excitement. 

This is a weird social media platform, and I doubt it will be around forever, as one of its joys is how singularly bad it has been at integrating advertising.   

Some of my favourite things here have been;

Comments in the tags, often funny, thinky, joyful - love this element of Tumblr.

Coda fic - this short-form story-style, which leaps into the fan-fiction gaps, loud silences and lacunae of the text - what a joy.

All the different roles people take on in fandom, as labours of love - gif makers, fic and meta writers, artists, vidders, archivists, signal-boosters, enthusiastic readers and beta-readers, art-lovers, networkers, collaborators, question-askers and answerers, and participants of all kinds (introvert and extrovert).

Completely unrelated to SPN, posts which are full of puns and hilarity, from “lik the bred” to Brits vs Americans on the subject of drinking tea. I still love Tumblr’s collective sense of humour; it’s witty and charming. 

The language of gifs; those delightful comtemporary hieroglyphics of emotive expression.

The diversity - English is the shared language, but gradually it’s apparent that despite US dominance of the site, there are people from all over the world here, whose native tongues range from Russian to Italian to Brazilian Portuguese.

The collective meta experience - sharing “live” textual analysis has been huge fun. Viewing a text in a hive mind this way always shows you something you’d have missed on your own. It’s like holding up a crystal to a thousand lights and watching all the different refractions happening at once.

Again, not SPN specific, but experts in various subjects, from Egyptology to Medieval History suddenly emerging from the depths to provide a passionate and erudite exposition on their topic. Often prefaced with, “My time has come...”   

Fandom has a dark side. It can be a coping mechansim, for many, in a healthy or less healthy way. There are unfortunately, always the formation of various “in-groups” and “out-groups”, ship wars, harrassment (of other fans, cast and crew), entitlement, and wild unpleasantness. And, that scourge of the internet in general; performative outrage (otherwise known as the outrage economy) which turns up the dial on provocative statements and negative emotion because that acts as catnip for engagement. A lot of people act out their shadow-selves online, projecting their own internal stuff onto others, from behind the screen.    

Almost no media texts get to run as long as SPN (fifteen years) but my first fandom was (and is) Doctor Who and that has been going for over 50. It has some absolutely horrendously toxic spaces and places online, and many of pure joy. My advice is - find the joy.  

Stories, by inviting us into the shoes of others, teach us at their (and our) best, the invaluable gift of empathy.

Take care of yourselves. Endings are hard, no doubt.

Special shout-out to fellow LGBTQ+ fans - hold onto your hearts. 

It can be complicated loving a story telling its queer (romantic/ erotic) love story implicitly (i.e. in subtext). 

Don’t forget (as I always say in my tags) subtext is part of narrative - meaning, the totality of a text contains its explicit and implicit elements; its text and its subtext, just like Metatron (aka Robbie T) told us in 9x18 Metafiction. 

I wasn’t in the fandom myself, here on Tumblr, but I saw some of the fall-out from BBC Sherlock S4, and it was particularly distressing to see so many young LGBTQ+ fans feeling deeply hurt and even suicidal, because they’d read all the (extensively crafted) queer subtext in that show as a promise which would, inevitably, lead to an unequivocal queer “coming out” for John and Sherlock.

Those queer fans weren’t “self-queerbaiting” - they were just reading the totality of the text. And after all, why not read the subtext that way, as a promise? Being of a generation who’d already gotten to see many explicitly out queer characters on-screen; why not dare to imagine the subtext was a slow-burn romance with an inevitable “out” climax? Especially because Mark Gatiss (one of the writers) is out and queer himself, young queer fans were even more certain that his Sherlock would be the first “out” queer Sherlock on-screen (The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, 1970, which Gatiss is on record as being a fan of, had previously queer-coded Holmes, as indeed does Downey’s version, in Sherlock, 2009, and Sherlock 2: A Game of Shadows, 2011.)

Of course, the corporate and production politics were no doubt complex behind the scenes at the BBC, and Gatiss himself (apparently) saw things differently saying (in an interview in Oct 2010):

“No, I don’t think I’d make a kind of gay programme. It’s much more interesting when it’s not about a single issue. And equally, I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting.” (Buzz Magazine Oct 2010: p10).

All of which, is why I’ve been adding a disclaimer to my readings of SPN’s queer subtext for a while now - namely, that reading the subtext doesn’t promise a rainbow of obviousness at the end. 

As I said, take care of your hearts, lovelies.   

Perhaps we shouldn’t need the narrative closet any longer. 

But, we are walking between worlds, an old one and a new, both of them currently existing simultaneously, especially in a globalised world. 

Queer audience fractions are, generally, more attuned to queer subtext, because it often uses codes derived from queer culture (although reading cinematic/ television subtext of all kinds is a learned skill, and no one is born with text-reading gaydar). So, whilst queer subtext may appear “loud” to some audience fractions, it remains invisible to others. That is, historically, by design, because, whilst “out” queer characters have gradually emerged on-screen since the 1950s [and the end of the Hays Code in Hollywood] queerness was, and still is (depending on where one is in the world) subject to legal penalty, state censorship or corporate production censorship.

A contemporary kind of state censorship is e.g. in China, where overt LGBTQ+ themes and characters cannot be depicted on-screen (hence, the queer subtext in The Untamed). A contemporary commodity kind of censorship might be e.g. notes from the Network, or TPTB at Marvel Studios with an eye on box-office. Queer subtext has the ability to slip past the censors, or be tolerated by them; because, now you see it/ now you don’t. A character with a straight “surface” reading and a queer subtextual one may (depending on the film/ TV product and its market etc,) be seen to pose less risk as a commercial product, whilst being able to appeal to different audience fractions simultaneously. For example, Captain Marvel  (2019) and, as above, BBC Sherlock (2010-2017).

And yes, it’s complicated, because in the midst of that still extant censorship, which queer writers and other creatives on set may indeed be trying to work around by using queer subtext, we can see another world is possible. More out queer stories are being told. And, although we may love to see implicit queerness rather than no queerness at all, and indeed although implicit queerness may (arguably) have the freedom (still) to tell less boundaried or stereotyped stories than explicit queerness (with powerful effects on the audience fractions, both queer and straight, who do “see” it) we can’t deny that it does suit corporate entities, in some cases, to be able to appeal to a dual audience without the perceived “risk” of “outness”.  A form of “queer-sploitation” which leads to the charge of “queer-baiting”.

The issue is, perhaps, particularly one surrounding male hero characters in Hollywood (and here in the UK) a) because “queer stories” are (still) often, not seen as likely to have universal appeal for broader audiences, whereas “straight stories” are not framed as “straight stories” but as universal ones, and b) because of the persistence of the prejudiced belief in particular that “queerness” undermines masculinity, especially “heroic” masculinity (here we have diverged markedly from the ancient Greeks). It’s somewhat different for female characters, but that’s another post. Fantasy, in the on-screen medium (if less so in fiction or comics) appears to be a more regressive genre than, say, comedy, in terms of the depiction of “out” queer central (rather than side) characters, with the exception of the Wachowskis’ Sense8 (2015-18) in which pretty much everyone is queer. I know there’s Ruby’ Rose’s Batwoman (2019- ) which I haven’t had a chance to check out yet, and we’ve got some queer Marvel (side) heroes upcoming, apparently; Valkyrie in Thor: Love and Thunder and Phastos in The Eternals - let’s see how that goes.

Moreover, queer subtext doesn’t have an exact analogy i.e. a “straight subtext” equivalent. Yes, many films and TV shows imply romantic/ sexual tension and interest between M/ F (pre)couples before it is “confirmed” they’re into each other in the text. However, because straight is the default assumption, audiences may muse and disagree about the potential for a M/ F romance at the implicit stage (as they have done in SPN fandom re Sam/ Rowena) but they don’t ask - “Does this mean they might be straight ????” It is assumed. Queerness, on the other hand, in order to be widely recognised (rather than solely by the subtext-reading audience fraction) must “come out” in some manner, explicitly, in the text (I don’t mean graphically, but “beyond reasonable doubt”).  In other words, as painful as it is, we are not starting on a level playing field. It’s not fair, but it is the deal. 

That doesn’t mean we can’t love contemporary queer subtextual stories, just that it’s important to acknowledge it can be painful, for some, to do so, and just as it’s important to acknowlege it’s OK to find them too painful to love, also (historical texts obviously operated under different circumstances). 

Queer audiences are not homogenous. We can, and do, see things differently from one another, perhaps particularly across generations. 

It is the case however, I think, that the structuring of a story by the narrative closet, as SPN has been structured by the narrative closet (up to this point, mid S15) (by which I mean its queerness is transparent to some, invisible to others, by design) cannot help but remind many queer audience members of our own struggles with the real world closet. Indeed that may make the story attractive, or unattractive, to different folk. 

Incidentally, which is why I avoid it, I think the “it’s canon”/ “it’s subtext” debate is a false dichotomy and a bit confusing, as there are two, perfectly legitimate (within their own terms) definitions of “canon”. In the fandom sense, where “canon” means a romantic/ erotic pairing explicitly confirmed in the text, Destiel (meaning romantic/ erotic orientation between Dean and Cas) is not “canon” (as at 15x11). It is implied. Of course, it is explicit text that they care deeply for one another - “You’re my family. I love you, I love all of you” (12x12 Stuck in the Middle with You), “You’re my best friend” (15x09 The Trap). The exact nature of that relationship remains, however, deliberately, ambiguous. 

In the literary sense, in which “canon” means “the official body of work”, SPN’s official body of work contains a metric tonne of implicit romantic/ erotic Dean/ Cas, so, it is part of the SPN “canon” in that sense - “subtextual canon” if you like. Although, of course, because implied, therefore open to interpretation.... deliberately transparent to some and invisible to others.

Despite all this complexity, and, indeed despite other elements of the SPN narrative which I have struggled with personally (the early seasons’ misogyny is off the charts sometimes, the brutally insensitive manner of Charlie’s death) I have loved this story, Supernatural, truly, madly, deeply, in large part because of its (implicit) queerness. And for may other reasons additionally, from its folkloric beginnings and dark initial cinematographic palette, to its melodrama, to its, eventual, Ourboros structure, and its Jungian alchemical journey marrying the cosmic to the earthly. 

Reading the show without the queer subtext remains possible, but oh boy is that analogous to only considering the above sea-level portion of an iceberg.  

I would prefer a rainbow of obviousness at The EndTM, but I don’t expect one. What I expect is continued, deliberate, ambiguity. Something I am sure we will be debating the ethics of, long after. 

I could be wrong :-). But I am taking my own advice, and taking care of my heart.      

For now, it’s nine minutes to midnight; let’s see how the story ends.

And afterwards, however the chips may fall, the characters will (as this most meta-narrative of seasons has been busy telling us) be set free of “Chuck’s” control. They will belong to us, in a thousand thousand fan-works, for as long as we care to keep on loving them.             

#Supernatural #SPN meta #Meta #5x21 #Two Minutes to Midnight #Endings are hard #Who am I kidding #Fandom is going to go wild #Whatever happens #The great queerbaiting debate #Reading Subtext #Dean is bisexual #Destiel #Still subtext #But subtext is part of narrative

[realtalk-tj]

My daughter, currently in the 8th grade, is considering applying to TJ. She likes math and science and does very well in those subjects, but probably likes English and poetry even more. I have two questions related to this: (1) How are TJ’s English classes? There seems to be less variety than in the base high schools. (2) Is it possible to go to TJ and have an emphasis of your education be on English and related classes? Thank you!

Response from Shacklebolt:

1. TJ’s English classes are on par with the STEM classes. Granted, there isn’t as much variety in English electives because it’s a STEM school (I can only think of Journalism 1 and 2 for English), but there’s a thriving English community here. TJ English classes, like other TJ classes, depend on the teacher. Some are more heavy on reading/literary analysis while others emphasize rhetorical writing. All freshman year English classes emphasize scientific writing because students write research papers for their freshman research projects (IBET projects).

To make up for this, lots of TJ students are involved in English-related extracurriculars and competitions. Some notable English-related ECs and competitions at TJ include:

TJ Media-- tjToday, the school newspaper; Threshold, the school literary magazine; Teknos-- school scientific writing magazine

Creative Writing Club

Poetry Out Loud-- Poetry recitation competition

Debate (Congressional, Policy, Lincoln-Douglas) and Speech

Jefferson Poets (Poetry Club)

Scholastic Art/Writing Awards (TJ students place regionally/nationally every year!)

NCTE Writing Competition (juniors only)

PTA Reflections Writing Competition

2. Yes! Just tailor your schedule to the way it best works for you. To easily get requirements out of the way, take summer school if you can for the computer science requirement and pass/fail econ for the economics/personal finance requirement. There is a fourth social studies requirement (one year/two semesters of a non-AP social studies class) but I imagine that those would be appealing to your child, so you can fit that in their regular class schedule. TJ has a lot of interesting social studies electives such as Inquiry into Ideas (philosophy/ethics), Law and Society, History of Science (more like history/ethics of science), among others.

Response from Rita:

Hi! I’m currently a junior at TJ and I’m similar to your daughter - I plan on pursuing English Literature in the future and plan my TJ schedule accordingly, though I still have an interest in STEM. I would be glad to talk with her about high school poetry competitions and writing opportunities she can take at TJ to supplement the strong English program- have her DM this page and I can link her with my number or answer any further questions she might have. Humanities students at TJ are super cool people haha and I’d love to give advice to a younger applicant!

#Anonymous

[rustbeltjessie]

Five years ago, I began putting a book together—a collection of my writings themed around punk music/punk subculture. They were all written between ‘99 and 2014, and had previously appeared in my own zines that had since gone out of print, or other zines or online magazines that had gone out of print/gone dark; style-wise, they ran the gamut from CNF to lyric essay to music criticism. I decided to crowdfund and self-publish the book, but at that point I didn’t really know what I was doing in regards to either crowdfunding or publishing full books. The book was almost ready to go but the artist I’d commissioned never finished the cover art, and my crowdfunding campaign hadn’t been entirely successful, and I wound up not having enough money to publish it.

About a year after I realized I couldn’t do it the way I’d initially planned, the book was picked up by a small press. My plan was to buy enough author copies to fulfill the initial crowdfunded preorders, and hopefully sell even more than that. With the help of an editor, I partially rewrote some older pieces and wrote some new ones to flesh it out a bit more. They found someone to do the cover and interior art, and put up a preorder page; I got blurbs from some of my favorite writers. It was all basically ready to go. But shit happened, and the press folded, and the book was once again dead in the water. (I’m not naming the press here, because my intention here is not to call anyone out. The people involved in all that are friends of mine, and as a small press owner myself I understand that shit happens. The saddest part about that whole thing is that I don’t get to use the cover and interior art we had, because it was amazing.)

I’ve recently realized that I need to get the book out in some way, because I need to put it behind me. For one thing, I feel badly that the people who crowdfunded or preordered never received anything. For another, I just need to move on, and I can’t fully move on until I get it out into the world. So I’ve decided to self-release it. For right now, I’m only making a digital version. I know, I know, print is way better, but I don’t have the funds to print it right now, and I’m certainly not going to ask people to pre-pay for it a third time. I’ve redone it somewhat—took out some of the weaker pieces, added in some others I’ve written in the past three years—and I’ve used my own artwork for the interior and done the cover in a zine-y/Xerox art style. I’ve uploaded it to Payhip, for a sliding-scale, pay-what-you-want price. This way, people who already paid for it (or just can’t afford it otherwise) can download it for free, and other people who can/want to throw a few $$ my way can do that. Most importantly: finally, finally, five years later, What We Talk About When We Talk About Punk will be released unto the world. — Here’s what some rad people had to say about WWTAWWTAP in its original incarnation: Love letters to way-too-late whiskey-drunk nights, stolen hearts and stolen kisses, small- town parking lots and bad decisions and even badder girls, WWTAWWTAP is a gritty and gorgeous series of riffs on living and loving punk. Like your very first show all over again, it'll set your blood on fire. —Sarah McCarry, author of the Metamorphoses trilogy and editor/publisher of the Guillotine series What We Talk About When We Talk about Punk distills wild nights of loud music, cheap whisky, and fugitive romance into a pure tonic. Jessie Lynn McMains’s voice is as indelible as a stick-and-poke tattoo and her autobiographical stories vividly capture the highs and lows of punk-rock youth. Pull on your leather jacket, grab a bottle of something, climb up onto the roof, and read this book. —Jeff Miller, author of Ghost Pine: All Stories True Wearing music like a jacket, that’s one of the things Jessie says about herself in these pages. I find that very admirable and inspiring. It gives a wonderful perspective to not only observe oneself in the moment, and in the past, but to feel the effect of that topic of study and passion on you, pressed against your skin. Jessie’s very subjective approach succeeds, and doesn’t fall into, impenetrable in-crowd self absorption, because she is smart enough to allow an adequate amount of objectivity and analysis to let her audience vibrantly see and feel her own experiences as if we are there with her. Music is a good reference point because lyrics, rhythm, and melody hit deep beyond the intellect into the emotions. You can always put on a CD, or vinyl record, or cassette and be transported to other places and times. These personal essays did this very thing to me, like listening to music. She becomes the jacket that we put on as we hear the lyricism of her stories. We are always with Jessie in her writings. The hyper-awareness that she uses to capture her memories to be pondered again and again, as we read on, immersing ourselves in her writing, is crucial. We are reading something that is alive and learning it’s own lessons. We can picture her being transformed by her own documenting of her experiences, becoming a complex being, a well informed member of humankind. She is infused with the playfulness and philosophy found in music and she demonstrates the frightening willingness to view oneself through a microscope. I find this fascinating. Therefore, because of this heart-on-her-sleeve writing style, when we allow ourselves to engage with her words on the page, to be as vulnerable as she has allowed herself to be, we too are transformed. Her words have gone from jacket to skin. We are there feeling her sexually charged reaction to Rock and Roll. We experience the sensual allure of the human body. With her we dive head first into decadence, decay, nostalgia, and hope. Her bouts of loneliness and need for community are palpable. We are bruised by the violence, the drugs, the suffering. We are stifled and also warmed by the dying and the regenerating of a constantly changing musical style. We witness the passing of friends and idols. We share in her understanding of what it means to be an outcast, and more specifically, how it feels to be a female outcast, to be a mother and a rebel. Through the willingness to wear this book like a jacket, like a skin, we not only see who Jessie is but we learn about the daily life behind the music, of people, inspired by their own creativity and the creativity of others, trying to simply be, to live a life worth living. This isn’t just a collection of diary entries, a memoir, it is an opportunity to look at oneself. Why are you a punk? Or perhaps even more importantly, why aren’t you a punk? —John “Jughead” Pierson, podcaster (“Jughead’s Basement”), musician (Even in Blackouts, founding member of Screeching Weasel), author Jessie Lynn McMains weaves the threads of her own life with a typewriter ribbon on a loom fashioned from melted records and empty 40's. The end result is fascinating, an ultrapersonal look at a life shaped by punk, forged by punk, fired by punk. What We Talk About When We Talk About Punk has music at its core and surrounding it on all sides, but its main muscle is the reaction to that, the response. Thoughts thought while listening to a perfect mixtape that takes you far away from the blah street you've found yourself living on (and a secret peek at the science behind that perfect tape), the thrill when a cute girl comes into your crappy job and gets why the 1" button on your jacket is so important. Notes scrawled on diner napkins and on the back of show flyers, now compiled into book form! —Ocean Capewell, author of The Most Beautiful Rot and High On Burning Photographs zine At 16 I cut my hair with a razor and dyed it black, looking at my reflection in the mirror that night I was convinced I was the spit of Richard Hell. When I think back through my own punk history, the bands, the friendships and the crushes; the obsessions that took over my life, led me to zines and the community I was desperately searching for, I can see with perfect clarity how I arrived at this point. As an adult woman these things are intrinsic parts of me. And that’s what Jessie’s writing does, it kicks you in the gut then hands you a cold beer. She knows. Jessie is the real deal; she is the girl Cometbus, one of the great zinesters of our time. If you want me, I’ll be in my room listening to my tapes. —Cherry Styles, writer, editor/publisher of The Chapess — You can download it here. Then listen to the official soundtrack here. (Pretend it’s on a tape, okay?) xoxo, the writer formerly known as Jessica Disobedience

#what we talk about when we talk about punk #jessie lynn mcmains #ebooks #punk #indie lit #writers on tumblr

[yaboylevi]

What about this chapter did you not like? love your art btw ❤️

Thanks!

Sorry for the wait, I wanted to read the official chapter and wait for a bit to see if my feelings changed (spoiler: they didn't).

It would be way faster to list the few things I enjoyed but alas.

VERY negative opinions under the cut. Seriously, if you liked the chapter, don't read this, I don't want to spoil your fun or upset you. I didn't bother to write this in a respectful tone, it's not an analysis, it's just me venting. That being said, if you guys read this ignoring my warning and get upset, it'll be your fault and responsibility, yeah.

The Annie's father stuff was okay, though I hope it's gonna be explained why he was the only one in Liberio running against the flow of the screaming crowd.

Then we get Reiner being pathetic once again, I am so tired of this. What's his purpose in the story aside from killing people, being a nuisance and or dead weight to others and feeling sorry for himself? I would've appreciated if he had had some introspection on how his rushed plan was partially the cause for Porco's death and Falco's transformation (and all the other deaths bc Zeke would've never screamed in Shiganshina if Reiner hadn't pushed for another attack there). But anyway if he'd had introspection, it would've been about self-pity and NEVER growth because he seems unable to have that, so I would've disliked it anyway. 

If I wasn't already rolling my eyes this hard at Reiner, then I would've started at Gabi. She's all over the place and I guess it's understandable since she is a kid and also deeply shocked and in pain. I understand it. But I don't like how Isayama made her go from despair, to murder instinct, to calm and collected in 2 pages. It's just ???? Then we have the Eren parallel and I groaned out loud. Whatever its meaning is. It's just forced.

One of the things I hated this chapter for and that I'm becoming so annoyed at in general lately, is that EVERYTHING parallels something that has already happened, and I don't understand if Isayama thinks he's being smart or if it has some deeper meaning like "oh see, history repeats itself!! wow!! a concept that is not being repeated ad nauseam in the series, not at all!! /s". I don't need it to be shoved into my face.

Idk. Also Reiner, of course, being safe in a house amongst titan territory...of...course...

Then the 104th scene. Ugh. Jean's delusion is so annoying. One moment he's rational, the other is like "muuuuu ereh is doing this for us!!! we couldn't do anything!!!", then he's rational again. Maybe if they had paid attention to Eren, and didn't only take into consideration stupid ideas that would've never worked for 4 years, maaaybe yeah, this wouldn't be happening. Who knows. I'm just tired of the 104th whining about their situation. I understand where they're coming from, their feelings, etc, I understand it's a crazy and emotional situation and all, but we already have SO MANY CHAPTERS about it, it's time to move on at least with the plot. It's just so pathetic and annoying. It makes me angry how he's basically trying to avoid responsibility or rationalize genocide like all the Eren goat stans in the fandom. I hate this mentality so much. "if they disappear, so will all the hatred! Do we really have to stop him?" JESUS CHRIST JEAN..............yikes

And then of course they (and Isayama) had to ruin chapter 108.

Then Jean also had the guts to say they should kill a kid so they can revive a commander, just bc he's too scared to take the reins of the situation. Again, I understand the struggle, it's the same as Hange afterall, it's just very, very ugly how he didn't even waver. Connie's been acting irrational, and he's been swept up by his anger for a while now, so I understand his development. Plus I find it more relatable to wanting to make a big sacrifice for someone you love, rather than someone you (think you) need. But Jean???? wtf. He doesn't even think back on the sin he was willing to commit, he isn't ashamed.

Armin as well doesn't even care that it's a kid they're talking about, he's only strategizing. And here's another annoying point: he's able to make these calculations now but when it comes to Eren his brain freezes and he becomes a delusional kid. Where were his brains when he had to think up of ways to negotiate with the world? Anyway, I get it, it's because Eren's his childhood friend and family. I am just so tired of seeing this again and again, and again. We've been stuck on this for over a year... Nothing has changed, they're just dejectedly going back and forth on their opinions and feelings. Really goes to show that Eren was the real heart of their group...

Connie flying away from the battlefield, effectively splitting again the povs we need to follow is...big yikes.

Parallel to Trost, parallel to Serumbowl. Yeah wow so interesting.

Nile dying so quick like that was also underwhelming. And it was unnecessarily cruel, imo, that as a titan he tried to kill children when as a person he was so sweet with kids (except with Eren, of course...).

The Gabi-Sasha parallel left me a bit confused. On the one hand, I don't like the killer being paralleled to the murdered. But on the other hand, I understand why that is [/inserts meta that i don't care about writing]. The Kaya-Gabi moments were also cute + Nicolo's little speech was nice, though a bit awkward, imo. I bitterly laughed at Gabi finally admitting that she mindlessly killed people just to be praised. At least she can better herself from now on! If only her cousin could take his self-pity and do something to change himself with it, but no, he just wants to change others or run away (and this is why i don't like reiner anymore).

Shadis saving these ungrateful kids was pretty cool.

I felt bad for Yelena, I want to see more of her (and maybe Mikasa+Louise), but instead, we have Jean vs Floch angst and I'm already sleeping, because I care so little about both of them.

Isayama painting Jean as a cool leader is just embarrassing when moments before he was pathetically whining and trying to kill a child (to which there was no setup, especially comparing it to the setup for Connie's plot thread. The last we saw of Jean with a kid was him wondering if he hesitated in killing the Cart because of Falco 15 chapters ago...and that was a compelling doubt but I guess he hadn't hesitated at the time, after all lol). The pages dedicated to the killing of the titans were boring, occupying space for nothing imo. Glossing over them would've sufficed, there could've just been the Pixis stuff, and it would've been fine. Which, btw, made me laugh a little in retrospect, because Armin is once again involved in the death of a Commander. Oh well.

I also didn't like that mini-flashback with Eren&Pixis. I guess Isayama wants to ruin every single nice moment Eren had with other people, because Eren is soooo so so bad now uwu, for no good reason, and it's only his fault right? people were nice to him and look at how he repaid them uwu. Big yikes for me.

I expected more from that Louise panel because it made me go [EYES EMOJI], but I guess I'll have to wait.

It's also unbelievable that NO ONE IN THE WHOLE STORY has thought of stopping Floch, when last time they arrested him, so technically why would they even leave him running around NOW? It's beyond me. Do they have a brain?

As for the basement conversation with Gabi, I hope that "I won't give up on Falco" panel + Armin looking at Gabi thoughtfully will start a "We can't give up on Eren" mindset for the 104th, but I doubt it's gonna be handled in a non-pathetic way, considering how's been done as of late.

Gabi screaming to talk to Eren was also very embarrassing from a reader pov (well, my pov). Because she was RIGHT THERE when EMA talked last time, and she should know that would most likely not work (I guess she's talking out of desperation but still...ppl be like "yeah!! they should talk to ErEn!1 why didn't they think of it!?!?!" and I mean it's probably gonna come down to that if the final audio is of any indication...I just find the presentation of this concept awkward and forced). 

I really disliked most of Gabi's part, even though she's a character I have learned to enjoy. I guess what shined through in this chapter is exactly what I don't like about how Isayama uses Gabi's character: it seems like she's just there as a fast-paced mini representation of the story themes, so she's just an instrument to the story. Sometimes I feel like she's a real character, sometimes I feel she's just a tool for the story and the themes.

Armin's reaction to hearing about Annie is...I don't know. aruani has been one of my first ships and I used to be obsessed, but this is just awkward and forced, just like the previous aruani scene that made me angry at Armin. I don't even understand if Armin's shocked, scared or happy. All of these don't make sense to me, because I have no clue what he even expects from her.

Annie's release from the crystal happened in an unexpected way which i appreciated, though I would've liked it more if she had decided to get out on her own. But it depends on if she was stuck in there or if she was still willingly escaping from reality. If she was stuck, I will love this a lot more, because basically Eren set her free.

Also, Eren's radio podcast was longer I guess ("Eren said he would undo all the hardening"), and I wonder why we couldn't hear it all. Sigh.

In general, the "theme thread" of the chapter (adults & kids) felt really pushed in our face. I appreciate when things are a bit more subtle, this just came off as...boring, because every scene made me go "well, of fucking course this scene would end like this...". The only tense moment was the Connie part, let's be real.

And yeah, my perception may be also partially because I am so tired of no Eren pov and "eren is the evil, evil villain" rhetoric, so maybe I will appreciate this chapter more once we get his pov at the end of the story (bc i have no illusions left that this won't happen anytime before the finishing line). For now, I'm just frustrated because I didn't care about ANY of the things that went down in this chapter. Like, okay, let's move on, ffs.

Everything felt forced and contrived, like, Isayama must know that nobody cares about this stuff that much and everyone would prefer to see literally anything else amongst Eren, Historia, Levi&Hange, the Colossals. Hell, imagine if this chapter didn't have Annie at the end. That was the only thing that made this chapter barely worth the read for me. I hope the next one will at least follow Connie and Annie, if I can't get any of the other things that interest me.

#salt and character hate I'm so sorry hhhh #don't read if you get v upset @ ppl's opinions #and if you enjoyed the chapter #really #if you liked the chapter don't read this #if you read this and come cry in my ask box or replies I'll block you #if you read this and feel the need to rant on your blog (or your discord chat lol) about me you're just a loser bc I warned you #dl #shingeki asks #Anonymous

[gr-ogu]

When you get this, you must publicly post something nice about at least 5 different people you follow, then copy and paste this in each of their ask boxes

Okay so, I got like three of these asks, and for the sake of not spamming people’s dashes I’m just gonna do one post and tag many people and put it under a read more!!!!!!!

I would like to say there are SO many people I could put on lists like these so pls don’t think I don’t care about you if you’re not here!!!!!!! I have a lot of love to give but I can’t put everyone here in one go sdjfhjdfhjd!!!

@mikewheeler @elhoppers @scooptroops @lucascsinclairs @milevenhearteyes @milliebbrowns @fatechica @ericasinclairs @robinbuckleyy @milevens @martygalwrites @serendipitousrambles @summer-in-hawkins @mikeswheeler @sadiesinkt

@mikewheeler ally is LICH RALLY the nicest and most understanding person on the planet. I can tell her ANYTHING and she has honestly been one of the kindest friends I’ve met on my time on tumblr!!!! She’s the warm hug you need after a long day and I know I could call her 25/8 and she would be there if I needed her which honestly means the WORLD. She makes everything seem better even in the worst of times, and I can never thank her enough for that. 11/10 would die for her. Also I ruin my sleeping pattern every night for her so she loves me ;) THE MOST TALENTED GIF MAKER AND ALL AROUND WONDERFUL PERSON. LOML TBH WITH YOU.

@elhoppers SARAH. MY LOVE. MY LIGHT. I feel SO lucky to have met such a bubbly, thoughtful, positive soul in person. I could talk to Sarah for HOURS about anything and everything. Truly a comrade for life and she knows what I’m thinking even if I haven’t said it, which is useful bc sometimes my Thoughts should not be shared out loud ksdhfjkdfhjdfh. We have SO much in common and she’s so fun to talk to and scream with. Always down to overshare with this gal bc we get each other on a level. TWINS SEPARATED AT BIRTH TBH. also her gifs KILL me she always comes in swinging, especially where our daughter el or mileven is concerned!!!!!!!

@scooptroops omg how do i even BEGIN to describe my love for mady tbh? the funniest, wittiest, sluttiest and BEST human being i’ve ever met. not only is she fiercely loyal but she’s a true Baddie who always has my back. I love Mady so much I regularly talk about my love for her to people who don’t even know her, bc that’s just How It Be. this girl has me laughing until I cry with her hilarious memes and also crying with Pain at her beautiful gifs. She makes?? The best art?? On the planet?? Truly the full package and joe keery would be LUCKY to date her (sorry @ mady’s bf skdjfhjkfhfjdgh). I know I can talk to her about anything and I love Mady so so SO MUCH. Bestie and sister-wife for LIFE

@lucascsinclairs ohhhhh the ways i could describe jazz. GORGEOUS (inside and out), the most hilarious, supportive, understanding, caring, intelligent friend. I’m so so lucky to have someone in my life who is simultaneously so level-headed she can calm me down in an instant, and also engages in THE most crackhead-headassery with me AT ALL TIMES. insert *we irritating* meme right here. love this gal to DEATH. like i would literally die for her. 10/10 memes. 10/10 face. 10/10 EVERYTHING. I ALWAYS smile when I see Jazz pop up and I would be lost without her at this point!!!!!!!! LIVE for all our long chats and rants, Jazz is honestly one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met!

@milevenhearteyes ELLIEEEEEEEEEEE. MY BABY! Even though she’s older than me but don’t mention that ;) ;) ;) hands down, one of the sweetest, most genuinely caring and understanding people I’ve ever come across. But also the most SAVAGE oh my god she will sass you to the moon and back and i am HERE FOR IT! One day Ellie and I are going to meet and it’s going to be the summer of love and we’re going to have deep chats about what an influential and strong woman she is AND ALSO ABSOLUTELY SCREAM THE LYRICS TO TANGLED. CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! EVEN IF YOU HATE SOL I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!!! ;)

@milliebbrowns what can I say? 20/10 obsessed with this insane woman since the day I met her. Literally in awe of everything she does, especially her gif making talent. ALWAYS comes in with the tea, which……. I OOP I LOVE. One of the funniest people I’ve ever spoken to and I am always here for her Vaguely Chaotic and Loving Energy!!!!!!!!! will talk to me about anything and everything and never bullies me bc she loves me too much!!!!!!!!!! ;) LOVE THAT FOR ME. also go and talk to her about joe jonas but NOT nick………………… don’t even think about it. if you do you WILL be blocked on sight, although you’re probably already blocked because? colleen just knows these things? LOVE YOUUUU

@fatechica Julie - my absolute DARLING! Not only is she an absolutely incredible writer, she is a dear friend. I am constantly blown away by her talent, drive and ambition. NOT TO MENTION WE ARE BRAIN TWINS!!!!!!!! IT’S ACTUALLY KINDA SCARY BUT I LOVE IT. SO supportive and absolutely is here for all my crackhead, meme-loving, sluttiness and honestly, how could anyone ever compare to that? Gives THE best advice and is always telling it how it is, which I appreciate more than anything. 10/10 QUEEN who i adore and i can’t wait for the joint fic we’re going to write one day ;) ;) ;)

@ericasinclairs VAL. MY ANGEL. MY STEVE-LOVING PARTNER FOR LIFE. Honestly any time Val speaks I get excited because she always has something interesting, adorable or hilarious to say. LITERALLY MY GO TO SOURCE FOR EVERYTHING ST RELATED, LIKE THAT GIRL WORKS FOR THE FBI I SWEAR! IT’S INSANE! Out here making me laugh with the best memes and wowing me with her clever and gorgeous gifsets, like for real. This girl could run the world if she wanted to. 10/10 provider of the rares too, for which I owe her my life ;) honestly val is just a genuinely hilarious, talented, kind sweetheart whomst i adore

@robinbuckleyy ANNA! MY LOVE! MY BABY! LITERALLY ADORE THIS GIRL SO SO SO MUCH. Luckily she was introduced to my joe/steve-loving ass right off the bat so she puts up with my crazy ways and just laughs because she loves me for who i am ;) THE PRETTIEST, MOST INSIGHTFUL BEAN EVER WHO WRITES THE MOST AMAZING FICS!! SERIOUSLY!! GO AND READ THEM IF YOU HAVEN’T!! I am constantly in awe of her because she is SO mature and level-headed and I can’t believe what an excellent human being she is and how much she’s going to BOSS whatever she does in the future, because I KNOW she will!!!!!!!!

@milevens kate!!! a darling!!! a babe!!!!! i have loved stranger things since it first aired but kate was my first ever true interaction with the fandom, when i read one of her mileven fics and the rest was HISTORY! an insanely creative and talented gif-maker and writer, like she out here running a blog for the DECADES. I LOVE IT! I don’t know where I would be without kate’s work, tbh. Probably sad? Mileven stan for LIFE and I fuck with that. so looking forward to getting to know her better !!!!!!!!! and also the insanely generous person i have to thank for this ICONIQUE url she gave me, like could your fave ever? 

@martygalwrites oh my god. marty is actually SUCH a legend i stan her so hard? we didn’t start speaking until recently but she’s so quickly become one of my favourite people???? writes 11/10 amazing fics, like how could anyone NOT cry at her talent? ALWAYS coming in with the hot takes and realness, and a TRUE joe hoe at her core. ALWAYS APPRECIATES MY MEMES AND VALIDATES ME BECAUSE SHE IS SUCH A KIND, LOVING PERSON. genuinely in awe of how articulate but also downright funny this woman is. literally just radiates Cool Energy like how can I be you tbh? can’t wait to come and stay at her house so we can go to a djo concert together

@serendipitousrambles oh my gosh, not only does jess write the most AMAZING FICS AND DRABBES THAT KILL ME ON THE DAILY, SHE’S SO ELOQUENT AND PATIENT AT RESPONDING TO PEOPLE?? EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RUDE TO HER?? a truly thoughtful and supportive friend, who I’m so lucky I got to meet !!!!!!!!! her obsession with ST and HP parallels mine so that when you KNOW you’ve found a good one. ALWAYS comes in swinging with her mileven analysis and headcanons, like i swear she’s just out to attack me Personally at all times??? a wonderfully funny and talented human bean

@summer-in-hawkins Kaisa!!!!!!! an actual angel!!!!!!!! her gifs are SO good like she regularly blows me away with her talent and her creativity - it’s unparalleled. Not only is she one of the sweetest people ever, she’s so genuinely calm, rational and insightful, I am in awe? she works SO hard and I always smile when I see her speaking and speak to her because she always has something fascinating to say! truly so passionate about whatever she’s doing which means she can do ANYTHING she sets her mind to; kaisa has so many qualities people should want to embody because she’s honestly a ray of light on a cloudy day!! amazing human!!!

@mikeswheeler KYY!! A QUEEN!!! ALWAYS SLAYING ME WITH HER GIFS AND MOODBOARDS TBH!!!! I don’t get to talk to her as much as I’d like, but when I DO? WOW. One of the most supportive and encouraging friends ever, 10/10 will always be there to hype me and I could not be more grateful for that. Also I love to make her lose her mind with all my crazy steve and joe tags, because the answers I get in response are absolutely HILARIOUS. just an all-round funny, helpful, lovely person who i am so lucky to know!!! like seriously!!!! brilliant human alert!!!!

@sadiesinkt ughhhhhh tuva is a BABE like no words to describe this darling of a human!!!!!!! firstly, her graphics? absolutely STELLAR like teach me your ways lend me your creativity pls!!!!! honestly i cry every time i look at them they’re so so SO good. secondly, she’s such a kind and giving person - we haven’t spoken too much but whenever we do i am struck by how thoughtful and authentic she is!!!!!! has my back and i could not be more thankful for that!!!! possessor of some ICONIQUE urls and just an overall amazing human!!!!!!!!!

#ily all very dearly #sorry for any typos this took like 10 years and i haven't read it back sgfhgdh #BUT IT COMES FROM THE HEART #Anonymous #asks

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations JENN! You’ve been accepted as HYPERION.

Jenn, I’m so glad that we’re going to have Hyperion on the dash! I really enjoyed your writing style and the depth it brought to him. I was transported to the place where he grew up, and felt taken on such a journey that showed me where he is now. I can’t wait to see where you take him next, and I’m glad we’re all along for the ride!

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Jenn

PRONOUNS: she/her, they/them.

AGE: 27

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: CST.  I am available to post on the weekends, and depending on energy levels, week days.

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Hyperion/Gerrard Bermudez

GENDER/PRONOUNS: he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

There’s something unrivaled in the brutality of hunger and thirst.  It’s constant, a revolving door that doesn’t know where to find its close.  It’s the original sin and the death sentence, competing for last place. It’s the wet, stone precipice before a bottomless fall and Gerrard walks it with a hand in his pocket and cigarette between his lips, a study on conceding just enough of oneself to hunger, and holding the rest at bay.  

It always waits, preparing a cackle for when he falters.

The mediation isn’t out of any inherent moral uprightness.  His neutrality isn’t peaceful, disengaged, and aloof; no, it’s far more the lack of motion on the chained dog’s leash.  It’s control that exists because it has to, not because it wants to by nature.

Funny, isn’t it, that Hyperion is ‘the watcher above’— a titan who’s battle isn’t spoken of in the Titanomachy;  perhaps it was something small in its scale. Perhaps hunger didn’t win that day, and history was allowed to take its course.  Or perhaps his battle into Tartarus was regarded with a hush after he dared usurpers to hollow his bones and drag the power from his skin.

BIO: Mexico City was color.  Unbridled, unrestricted, his first memories were of blazing colors and skulls that might as well have been neon lights.  Their silence was rattling, eye sockets making dark pits to cute their contrast to the pinks, the oranges, the yellows—- to every tone that crept in to smile in the moonlight as the sun set on the dead’s day.  He could remember marveling, he could remember crowds and makeup and the kind of sensory overload that was thrown into orbit by constantly changing music as he walked, weaving his way through bodies far larger than his.  Something at the back of his find repelled it all, like a wild animal crossing something toxic, sidestepping the skull-in-crossbones the violent colors represented. All the more appropriate for the day. He could remember his sister, taking his hand and pulling him the moment panic started to seep in and scream that he was lost.  Her timing was impeccable. It always was, accompanied by perfect words, the exact necessary moments to diffuse seconds before ignition. She’d pointed to a pair of twins, grinning as they moved in mirror to each other, their skin taking on the colors that dappled butterflies, arms echoing the beat of wings. His eyes grew wide, trying to drink in more than his eyes would allow, begging for comprehension he didn’t have.  Their skin turned like a series of mosaics, one flipping and then the next as the patterns changed. Pesos were thrown around them in appreciation of their act, one that was other worldly and mutant to a boy who didn’t quite understand what that meant yet. He would see the pair the next year.  And the year to follow. They became the main attraction amid the celebration, living works of art that surmounted a crowd.  And then one year he could remember his head hitting the ground as he was pushed. He could remember the panic on his sister’s face as men approached.  He could remember her standing between the cowering pair and the cartoon-like threats his blurry mind stylized. They bared down on the teenage girl, casting what seemed like impossibly long shadows like zebra stripes across her frame.  Her hands were outstretched. He couldn’t make out her words, the ringing in his head too loud and all-encompassing, refusing to grant him moments of clarity among the clouds. He was old enough this time, old enough to see the confusion across their faces as their adrenaline stocked muscles found relaxation.  They were taken by a haze of their own, stepping backwards, coaxed into submission by the way her words had reverberated in their minds, lulling them to stillness. He could remember not screaming her name fast enough when another group of men approached from behind.  Her body hit the ground as fast as a trigger was pulled, and in discord, he was brought to his feet. A shattering, broken scream left him as his mind went blank. A year later he sat in a sanitary room, one that made his skin feel shallow from bleach, constructed of thick stone and rubber.  The haze never seemed to leave, creating the same sort of cartoon, this time a storm cloud that existed between his ears. His eyes lulled shut for a few moments, head hanging forward until the sound of a thick barricade woke his senses from where they’d made their bed. A small, battery powered screen was slid in through slating, rubber casing of the door closing as soon as it was passed through.  Slowly, he moved from his chair, feet giving their place to knees as he found himself crawling towards a playing video that made itself into a tune he knew. It was familiar. He didn’t touch it. He just peered down, watching a playback of those moments. The men. The twins. His sister. He wiped at his eyes as the tears welled. He watched her gentleness, watched the assisted diffusion, the kind that only pleased against violence, the kind that made no attempt to strike. He knew what was next in the sequence, and the gunshot still made him jump and wrenched a sob out of the boys frame, body shaking as the tremors of tears took hold.  His own scream came next, and suddenly, his shaky breath caught; eyes widening as he watched the bolt of lightning contest the natural, arching upward into the sky. It expanded, like a deep breath was taken before it struck back down towards him. It collided with his body and splintered, shooting off in a shockwave that centered on his form. For a split second, he saw the men surrounding his sister drop to the ground. He couldn’t make it out, but the devices in their ears and across their bodies had overloaded, and they died in twitching heaps. Power collapsed as the wave pressed out around him, a stampede of energy that demanded its due.  Darkness fell across the area, only candle flames remaining among the short circuiting flashes of cellphones before the camera recording lost its source like the rest, cutting off and leaving black and white fuzz behind. There was a void in his mind, the moments colored in with the worst crayons in the box, all shades of violent red and dangerous yellows. He curled into himself, letting tears take him, making a companion of the continual sound of that static. He could remember the first mistake they made.  Rubber and stone didn’t conduct. Electricity found on travel through and across them, sent off like the free radicals that tore cells apart when left unattended.  Their own curiosity sent them to the morgue. They like to shove nails under the skin and pry it away to see what was underneath. They found their victory in the crying boy on the stone floor, the one whose body sparked with frustration, draining itself without enough sympathetic energy around him.  They’d come to bring the video again, anxious to watch him fold in on himself, to crumple into nothing. In the moments the rubber was peeled back, a veil was pulled back from his eyes, revealing the webbing that was electricity that ran rampant in the world outside his cube. Among them he found a string that dangled, a thread from the three Fates themselves that was dull and nearly lifeless.  He reached for it and pulled. The pacemaker in the chest of the guard malfunctioned, spitting bursts of energy like an angry cat, sending the man into cardiac arrest. He clutched at his chest, words unfound, radio only silence. Gerrard’s arms passed through the slot they used to pass his food and likewise, their torture. He reached and felt for the crossbar he’d heard come down so many times, a heaving effort pushing it from its place.  He remembered the sound of the door opening, a first in what could have been years. His escape was made in a fugue state, electronic locks overloaded, others like him released to pour from their cages, opportunities taken to strike out against hands that had taken such joy out of wrapping their hands around their throats. He disappeared that night. Chicago was the haven; it was an oasis, the closest thing to asylum for people like him.  He met her when he was eighteen, and she didn’t turn him away. Instead, he’d been welcomed with arms he’d never felt before while she whispered in his ear:  this was his home now.  He could remember the first day in the city, hours upon hours of bus rides managing to bring him to the doorstep.  He found shelter. He found food. He found others like him. Hyperion was born in Chicago; a thief to begin with that caught the eye of new family, one that found power in practice, and reminded him who had cast those long shadows and dropped his sister to the ground without a second thought.  He learned, with those whispers in his ears, where to abandon petty theft for greater work. It spun the thunderstorms back to life in his skull, providing the static shock that started hurricanes and the kind of thinking that required payment for things that had been taken. Static was a constant itch that crawled under his skin, remnant energy from witches burned at the stake.  There was a hefty debt, and Hyperion would, eventually, collect.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS: TIERNEY SINCLAIR, Thorn: Oh, Tierney.  It’s a murmur, one that sounds coy and teasing in the way it floats and twists through the air, but it’s armed to the teeth, like knives in the dark that are only seen when they swing.  Gerrard sees a mirror. And Gerrard does not like to share. EOIN DOUGHERTY, Customer:  A dollar sign turned interest, one that, if coaxed in the right direction, could prove to be not just an asset but an investment.  Hyperion is the one that watches over, and oh, does he watch this one closely for the opportunity he needs. KIARA MANDAL, Goal:  Kiara is the twinkle at the back of his eye, the one that says that he’s up to nothing good; that he drags trouble with him.  He finds Kiara to be…. Underutilized at best, and given the opportunity, he’d grab her wrist and pull her off the cliff with him to find what her potential really looks like.  

EXTRA: “I’ll be there in a minute.”  The presence behind him didn’t contest; he was left to his quiet, a dark silhouette against a bright interior.  It was clinical, full of right angles and crisp edges even despite what was left upturned and in chaotic asymmetry as the lights above flashed once, then twice.  They were electronic gasps, attempts to continue despite the way the damaged pathways frayed. He took a deep drag on a cigarette, the end taking a sympathetic coal breath along with the lights above, and suddenly they found their equilibrium.  The lights held their connection, letting him look across the occasional smears of blood. Scattered ash. Rubble and the light, gentle dust it carried with it. Outside, there were sirens.  They were like tiny pings to his radar, dots on the network his feeling stretched across, electric impulses firing back and forth among the vein like spindling that was a city like Chicago.  He closed his eyes as he took another deep inhale, smoke filling lungs that screamed for the nicotine to keep the yapping of nerves away from his mind. He stretched out into it, a different plane of existence than most would tread.  It was coursing energy, static made massive, interlinking at every step of a human existence. He followed the pathing, the comfort of surge sounds pulling a smile across his lips as he reached out, his finger wrapping in an electric thread the way someone would with the hair of a lover.  He grasped and he pulled. The hospital dropped from the grid, leaving a hungry man satiated as he started his steps down the stairs; his feet never quite touched the ground, held aloft by the static of the storm surge that rippled across him, a downed powerline that learned to walk. – “Hype!”  No response.  “Hyperion!”  He paused, steps stopping as he shrugged a jacket onto his shoulders.  “Where are you going?” His eyebrows raised, amusement crossing his lips as he tilted his head to the side.  “Incredible how that isn’t your business.”  The response was met with a pout.  “But what about your curfew?  You’re going to get in trouble.”  The side of his mouth twitched up further, pulling into something like a smirk that tried to pass as a smile as he reached out and tapped his questioner’s nose.  “I hope so.”   – Blood landed on the back of his hand, ejected by a cough.  Energy zipped across him, skittering crackles, a lighting storm on the microcosm of his skin. The blood evaporated, hit with what might as well have been a laser, removed from its momentary existence with him.  His knuckles weren’t beaten. No weapon in sight. Just him and his body, looking at the shape hunched against the wall. They weren’t battered. Purpling bruises didn’t cover their body. They sunk to the ground, eyes shut tight as they panted.  A loan drip of blood found its way from the corner of their mouth, joining tracks with what tears had already left behind. “You’ll live.”  His words were soft, almost reassuring in the way they landed.  Perhaps they would have been were it not for the bouts of pain that had wracked them, leaving muscles sore and screaming from the way they’d been overloaded time and time again. They didn’t seem convinced, a shame.  Hyperion crouched, looking at the other with eyes that liked to nit-pick. They clung to details, refusing to scoop in what they saw indiscriminately. He reached out a hand, making them flinch away instinctively. He followed nonetheless, fingers curving along their cheek as his thumb brushed to interrupt the teary path.  “You’ll live.  You will. And I want you to remember this.  Can you do that?” The nod was almost immediate, a slight tremble through their skin.   “If you remember, I don’t have to see you again.”  They shook their head;  no, god, please not again.  His thumb brushed again and he leaned closer, holding their chin to make their eyes lock, no other choice found. His voice dropped low, a whisper with the edge of a growl.  “I want you to remember whose fault this was.  Because it wasn’t yours, and it wasn’t mine.”   — A scream sent a number of pigeons dashing, response enough even if flight wasn’t taken.  There was food to be found on the patio, under the cafe’s umbrella shielded tables, so the birds didn’t dare scatter too far despite the commotion.  A woman clutched to her chest as her companion knelt on the ground beside her, crying out with panic in its purest form. “Help!  She’s having a heart attack!”  Phones were picked up along with audible gasps, 911 dialed as people gathered, useless as they stood and watched the scythe brought low, starting the process of cleaving the soul away. Gerrard turned in his chair, holding a small basket of fries.  He snacked on one, a look of curiosity crossing him as he scanned the woman.  His hand lifted slightly, fingers rubbing together as if disposing of the salt that clung to them.  A slight spark occurred, like a generator spinning to life. Static hung in the air for a moment, and then another, as his eyes fell on the pin at the dying woman’s lapel.  It was acrid in his mind, one that spoke to an agenda, one that saw mutants as beasts to cage. As the silence faded out, he picked up another fry, putting it to his lips, biting, chewing.  All perfectly normal. And he watched the frantic electrical impulses, firing with no sense of syncope, and instead of letting it fade– letting the scythe swing— he rubbed his fingers together again, feeling his own heart skip to make hers struggle longer; just enough correction to let the pain ratchet through her.  He watched, he ate his fries, and eventually he let her die.

#accepted #accepted: hyperion